Spring 2nd Quarter Journal 2017 April-June

 

April

1 April 2017 Saturday

When Pope Gregory changed the calendar where January 1st was the New Year rather than April 1st...those who still celebrated the old calendar were called Fools... This morning my blood tested at 147 better than 247. I had to go to Smith’s and buy more syringes because I had gone through the last of them giving myself shots twice a day. Spent much of the day working on the Hand Maiden of the Lord. The pups eat so much better when it's nor gloomy and I guess adding roast beef to their roasted chicken doesn't hurt either, I try giving them vegetables but they all spit them out except for Harleigh who I give some cooked sweet potatoes and raw apple slices. The same with their kibble only Buddy eats it in his food otherwise the rest have spitting contests how far they can spit it. Had a great evening with Jim Dabakis at Pioneer Theater. He invited me to see Charles III ... The costuming was magnificent and the constitutional crisis was done in a Shakespearean format...While going over to pick up Jim I drove along North Temple forgetting it was General Priesthood. Took me about 10 minutes longer then usually getting through traffic with all the guys crossing the street in flocks of white shirts and black ties... I saw the professional protestors standing with their anti-Mormon signs mixed in with the some Homo Sex is a Sin signs... Who do these people hate more? Mormons or Gays? What a zoo... Salt Lake City is so queer... I love it... At Jim’s he was watching the last few minutes of a basketball game between South Carolina and Gonzaga.  Jim was rooting for Gonzaga and it was a delight to see him so animated because Gonzaga won. I have a dominate Gay gene that over rides my recessive sports gene. I just don’t get it. He was watching it in his bedroom so first time I ever was there. His home is an art gallery so beautiful. Pope Francis made a statement that people are damned that don’t help the poor and homeless. The other day the Saints of Draper about lynched their mayor for offering a location for a homeless shelter and booed a homeless man that was there to speak. The mayor had to withdraw their offer. Why isn't the Mormon Prophet addressing homelessness in Utah? Too busy ordering gold leafing for Moroni statues? My old friend Bob Waldrop now in Oklahoma wrote: Feeding your own is not taking in the stranger... Some of our legislators, who are so proud of their piety, need to read this. Although I suppose they may be using edited versions of the Bible that, e.g., don't have the story of the beggar at the door of the rich man, nor the 25th chapter of Matthew.

 

2 April 2017 Sunday

My blood sugars this morning was 90. May the hard work of low carbs and no sweets is finally paying off. I fixed some homemade corned beef hash this morning, rye bread and two scrambled eggs for Sunday breakfast.  It was a rainy gloomy day for most of it. When the Saints meet the heavens weep. Bill Poore wanted to come over to see the pups and brought a Pizza from the Pie. It’s been months since I had a pizza. I knew it would spike my blood sugars and it did to 194 when I went to bed but it was not as high as I thought it would be. The sun came over in the late afternoon when I woke from a nap. Ate some chop suey for dinner and watched some TV. Hulu had a new series called Harlots about prostitution in 1763 London…Really good and lots of naked men screwing more than naked women LOL.

 

3 April 2017 Monday

I wrote Kyle today and put it in the post.

·         Dear Kyle, I owe you a long letter since I last wrote you March 20^th. I hope you are well. I haven’t received any email contact about the Gay History class you had proposed. I guess its still on hold.  I sent in my visitation request form to Draper about a week ago. I don’t know how long it takes to process it. If you don’t hear anything in a week or so I will follow up with a phone call. It’s a beautiful morning after a whole day of rain yesterday. It was General Conference and when the Saints Meet the Heavens Weep (along with the rest of us Gentiles). Looks like its shaping up to be a wonderful Spring day here in the Rockies though.  Its rained almost every other day since I last wrote you but the flowers, grass, and trees are loving it. Well the Spring Equinox began when I last wrote and was certainly glad to have winter officially over! Spring like weather ... One minute its cool and the next minute warm... My friend Rich Butler came over last week and I gave him some irises and some day lilies transplants for his yard. The irises were transplanted from my folks old home in Palmdale CA some 20 years ago.  All my forsythias are bloomed out in bright buttery yellows, and my purple grape hyacinths and tulips I planted in the front yard are all blooming pink and purple. Make it Gay Make It Gay Make It Gay as the song goes. I adopted my pup Maxie a year ago today. What a good pup he has been and a play mate for every dog I have brought home ever since. So what a little dog hair everywhere? Or a lot.  The rest of the hounds are all well and get along so well with each other. We are just all one big nontraditional family. The pups eat so much better when it's not gloomy and its been gloomy every other day. I guess adding roast beef to their roasted chicken doesn't hurt either. I try giving them vegetables but they all spit them out except for Harleigh who I give cooked sweet potatoes and raw apple slices. The same with their kibble, only Buddy eats it in his food, otherwise the rest have spitting contests on how far they can spit it. I feel like I am living with 5 two years old who I can't keep up with...toys every where and messes... If you come to my house unannounced be prepared to see a messy house... I donated to Hearts 4 Paws and Utah Faces during the Utah Gives drive to donate to charities. I adopted Harleigh, Maxx, TJ, Farley, and Lulu Belle and fostered three dogs through Hearts 4 Paws. They take as many dogs as they can from shelters and find them foster homes until they find their forever homes. Utah Faces is a charity that grooms shelter dogs so they can be adopted easier. I mainly donated to them because of this Facebook friend Charlie Ward who volunteers at the shelter and is so damn handsome.  Heart be still. But its still a great cause. I have been testing my blood twice a day and taking insulin twice a day and my results during March were rather grim. For about a week I was up in the high 200’s no matter what I did and I had been excellent about eating low carbs and no sweets or soda but this morning it was 94 and has been in the mid 100’s for a week so maybe its finally taking affect. Its such a catch 22 that I am having surgery to put my diabetes in remission and cant have the surgery until my diabetes is in remission. Ugh! Since I was low on insulin I went down to Redwood Clinic to pick up some more Novolin and I was ticked off because there wasn’t any refills for me without seeing the diabetic pharmacist. She was such a bitch and hassled me for not calling in my readings during February. I was pissed. Its my health. However I did save some money. The Insurance wanted to charge me $190 for the insulin but the pharmacy sold it to me for $50.  I made an appointment to see Dr. Stoneburner for May 1^st to have my A1c tested and it has to be under 8 for them to consider doing the surgery or it will be postponed again. I had lost 8 pounds over winter so I went to Deseret Industries to look for a pair of shorts. I had gotten rid of all the ones I had that were too big for me and thought I was having surgery.  I only had one pair left so went and bought a few from DI. No sense really paying a lot when after my surgery next May I may be down 50 lbs. or more.  I have been trying to eat more healthy keeping roasted meat in the refrig to snack on instead of carbs. Ive cooked up a pork loin, a corned beef, and a pot roast. If I don’t have it already prepared I would fall back to snack on crap. I keep roasted sweet potatoes, cucumbers, apple sauce and lots of sugar free jello in the frig. I even made a Waldorf salad.... Keeping the carbs down ... Or at least trying ... The other day I even made Chop Suey because its all vegetables. If you eat well, get good sleep and exercise, and drink plenty of water, you’ll die anyway. LOL I hired this man named Troy Hunter who is family to repair my Sprinkler system that hasn’t been turned on since you lived here or even then. He is a good guy and has a Dalmatian and a little schnauzer that he brings with him. His family owns the Hunter Horse Stables just north of me across from the new city Soccer Fields. Anyway the cap on the pipe leading to the main water valve had come off who knows when and had filled somewhat with dirt and debris.  We were really worried that we might have to dig up the pipe to  turn on valve that connects to the water meter. However he brought an old vacuum cleaner and he managed to suck crap out enough to reach the valve with the long water key.  The system was turned on and we saw all these broken heads shoot up like gushers but at least we know the system still works. He had to go get parts to fix them so we could find out where all the heads might be. I gave him a $500 retainer and he’s charging $35 an hour.  He came back later in the week and fixed about three gushers but in a few places the pipe was leaking so he’s coming back this week to dig them up and patch them. Hopefully I will not have to drag hoses all over anymore. On the Dreary rainy day I’ve settled in with Lulu Belle, Maxx, and TJ with some popcorn and BBQ Pork Rinds to binged watched the 3rd Season of Grace and Frankie that show on Netflix with Jane Fonda and Lilly Tomlin about women whose husbands divorce them so they could marry each other. Its so good. I also have been binge watching Golden Girls on Hulu. The show is over 30 years old and is still funny as hell. Better than most crap on these days. Strange that I am older now then the women on the show where suppose to have been. I also watched Gentlemen Prefer Blonds in Technicolor with Marilyn Monroe and Jane Russell in it with a cast of scantily clad men in beige speedo type athletic briefs doing calisthenics. They looked positively nude LOL... Scandalous. I guess they got all these men from Muscle Beach to be in the film… Oh My…Who could want more?  While cleaning up my files I rediscovered a story I began nearly ten years ago after spending years researching Mormon Blood Atonement in the 19^th Century. I had only finished the 1st chapter and put it away but I guess now that I am retired I have time to work on projects that fill a creative side of me. Maybe I will get that one novel that’s in me out of me before I die... It's a 19th century period piece of the memoirs of a fictional female slave of a real historical figure Thomas Williams a Mormon Lawyer who turned apostate and was murdered heading to California outside of Baker... The main protagonist is a mixed race female slave of Thomas Williams’ father Alexander Williams who was the first sheriff of Provo and had been baptized by John D Lee in Tennessee. As a convert Alexander took his family to Missouri in 1838 just in time for the Mormon War that broke out that summer culminated in the extermination act in October and the surrender of Far West. Alexander Williams was a Danite and lived just miles from Haun’s Mill so I incorporated the Haun's Mill Massacre into the story and the expulsion of the Saints.... I am only up to Spring 1839 when the refugees have crossed the Mississippi and have 11 Chapters so far. As I want to continue the story into the 1860’s when the Mormon Theocracy came under the control of the Federal government I have a ways to go. But it fills my days and all the stories are true in a historical fiction context, stories not told in Sunday School although I don’t think of it an anti-Mormon story just telling it all warts and all.  I have made a lot of new friends from starting Gay Men Aloud over a year ago. I was invited to dinner with a couple that had moved from New Jersey to Utah and live now in Daybreak. I had bought all theses eggs Smith had on sale for 88 cents a dozen so I made \ deviled eggs to bring over because I didn’t want to bring a dessert as I usually do. I don’t know if you know Courtney Moser who is Petunia Papsmear with Gay Bingo. He was a guest also and had gone on a mission to Japan in a former life and TJ who is a native of Japan and a former Mormon Convert there made a delicious curry... I generally don't like Indian Curry but found that Japanese curry is really tasty... I am excited that a Winco store is being built between Main and State on 21^st South and should be finished this year. Winco prices are great and the employees share in the profits so I want to shop there as much as possible when built. My dash board lights started flashing on, beeping, and then going off on the cruiser, so I had Mike Romero look at it and said I should take it to Lancers where I had my timing belt and transmission replace last year. I needed Freon put in the air conditioning anyway for the summer and when I picked it up they said they couldn’t see why my dash lights flashed on at times and then goes off. That was unhelpful. So I guess I will just drive it until something happens. At least I have my 20 year old Sonoma pick up as my back up that I haven't driven it since registering it in January... It's just sits in the garage waiting patiently for its turn to be taken out and about... On Wednesday last week I may have missed your call as I was a panelist at a Men Who Move event where I was asked to speak along with Garth Chamberlain and Connell O'Donovan about the Gay community from the 1980s and 1990s. I had to pick up Chuck Whyte at 6:15 so I was on the road if you called. I gave Chuck Whyte a ride to the Sugar House Library where it was held.  I had never been there before.  Terry Gillman organized the event who I’ve known since he was a teenager in the youth group and now he’s in his 40’s. I even saw an old friend David Omer who I hadn't see in 20 years since our days in the Desert and Mountain State Conferences. Once upon a time Gay and Lesbian representatives from Wyoming, Colorado, New Mexico, Arizona, Nevada, and Utah used to host conferences in different states to coordinate strategies to politicize our mutual struggles in our region. The last one was held in Salt Lake City in 1989 hosted but the Utah delegates and I did a workshop that was well attended on Community Building. How we did all that without Gay Inc. and corporate sponsors is a testament to the fire that was in our bellies when we were young or in my case relatively young LOL I was in my mid to late thirties. Your age now. The presentation went well and I did my Ben Williams thing as my old friend John Reeves used to call it and told the audience of about 50 Gay men of all ages what a great unique people we are.  Connell O’Donovan could only talk about what he did himself while I talked about what the community did. Garth Chamberlain was a founder of the youth group back in 1988 so he talked about their experience and acknowledge my contribution inspiring him to start it. I said that we did all this out of our own pockets and without credentials behind our names. We didn’t think we would live long anyway so there was no time to waste. After the meeting I was touched when this young man named Aaron, who was I suppose about 20, sought me out and came up to me to thank me for what I had done and speaking about Gay men being a folk and a tribe, unique and special in our own right. I made him hug me which he gladly did. You can never get enough affection young or old. Then another young man in his late 20’s came up to me and asked if I remembered him. I looked puzzled until he said his name was Peter and that he was one of my former student from Orchard. I asked what was his last name and he said Moosman and I said of course I remember him. I remember all the Moosmans because I think I taught that whole family as they came up through the ranks. He was only 10 and 11 when I taught him and now he works at the Salt Lake community college... I also met Kendall Wilcox the film director who was there. It was a great night. So it when I came home I was worried because I couldn't find Harleigh anywhere...he was out in the back yard afraid to come in because he had a dirty butt... So I carried him to the tub and got him clean as a whistle ... What you do for those you love... The next morning I had to go up to Farmington on a very rainy morning to have my CPAP machine checked to see if I had been using it or my insurance won’t pay for it. My doctor said that I had only used it 63 percent of the time in March and I was supposed to be at 70 percent.  I told him it made my nose stuffy in the middle of the night and I would yank it off half way through the night. But he fudged my numbers by going back in to February where I was then at 83 percent. I was also fitted with a new nose mask that had only one strap and is not so invasive as my old face mask. So when did we elect the whole God Damn trump family to run the government? Both his daughter and son in law now have positions in the White House. Stupid stupid people who voted for these horrible people who know nothing about governance nor the any understanding of the Constitution... what does a hand bag business heiress know about working people. I hope she earned her degree in economic from Wharton in 2004 and was not handed to her because of her fathers legacy there. Trump lied about being top of his class when he never made the honor list and he only got in because of the influence of his brother Freddy... Obama was a Harvard Law Professor and trump barely graduated with a degree in finance. Last Saturday Jim Dabakis took me to see the play King Charles III at the Pioneer Theater. I guess it’s the London winner of the Olivier (British Tony) award for Best Play, and nominated for the Tony Award for Best Play of 2015! He said none of his friends wanted to see it but knew a history and political wonk like me would... I am always depending on the kindness of strangers. I had a great evening with Jim Dabakis at Pioneer Theater even though Charles III was a bit challenging with it’s Shakespearean for mat and Lady McBeth theme How ever the costuming was magnificent. I bet half the budget was spent on the lavish costuming. The play was about a parliamentary crisis when Charles ascends to the throne after the death of Queen Elizabeth and he refuses to sign into law a freedom of the press restrictive bill that Parliament passed. You would have to know British politics and McBeth to know what was going on. It was like a Shakespearean tragedy with the ghost of Princess Diana even showing up. While going over to pick up Jim I drove along North Temple forgetting it was General Priesthood. It took me about 10 minutes longer then usually getting through traffic with all the guys crossing the street in flocks of white shirts and black ties... I saw the professional protestors standing with their anti Mormon signs mixed in with the some Homo Sex is a Sin signs... Who do these people hate more? Mormons or Gays? What a zoo... Salt Lake City is so queer... I love it... At Jim’s he was watching the last few minutes of a basketball game between South Carolina and Gonzaga.  Jim was rooting for Gonzaga and it was a delight to see him so animated because Gonzaga won. I have a dominate Gay gene that over rides my recessive sports gene. I just don’t get it. He was watching it in his bedroom so first time I ever was in there. His home is like an art gallery so beautiful. Paintings and sculptures from all over the world. Lots of Trevor Southey pieces and male nudes LOL Coming home from the theater, Jim was waxing philosophical and he asked if I regretted anything in my life or could go back and change anything and I honestly said no. I think I've had a happy life with ups and downs like everyone. I have been broke and I've had money. I lived in my car and I now have a home. I taught over 500 children who I will always be their teacher in their memories of elementary school. I’ve been part of a hated minority but tried to bind up the broken hearted. I have always tried to do good in this old world and planted lots of metaphorical trees that others will rest in their shade after I am gone. Trump may live in a stately golden pleasure palace but I would not trade it for my humble home on Fernleaf for all the world. I guess you heard that Gilbert Baker the creator of the Rainbow flag died the last day in March. He was also a long time friend of Cleve Jones and was portrayed in the series When We Rise. What is left from my Stonewall Generation is slowly fading away. I don’t know that we will be appreciated until we are all gone. Did you see on the news how the Draper Saints booed a homeless man and their mayor and Ben McAdams over their wanting to put a homeless shelter in Draper? I wonder how many of the Draper Saints who nearly lynched their mayor for offering a location for a homeless shelter until the mayor withdrew his offer, attended General Priesthood and heard Thomas Monson say elders aren't honoring their Priesthood if they aren't kind to one another. I bet most of the televisions in Draper are tuned into KSL for show only. Pope Francis made a statement  just the other day that people are damned who don’t help the poor and homeless. The other day the Saints of Draper about lynched their mayor for offering a location for a homeless shelter and booed a homeless man that was there to speak.  Why isn't the Mormon Prophet addressing homelessness in Utah? Too busy ordering gold leafing for Moroni statues of the five new temples? My old friend Bob Waldrop a former MCC pastor in SLC back in the 1970’s and now  living in Oklahoma wrote of the Oklahoma legislators the same that could be said of Utah: “Feeding your own is not taking in the stranger... Some of our legislators, who are so proud of their piety, may be using edited versions of the Bible that, don't have the story of the beggar at the door of the rich man.” Luke 16:19-31King James Version  There was a certain rich man, which was clothed in purple and fine linen, and fared sumptuously every day:  And there was a certain beggar named Lazarus, which was laid at his gate, full of sores,  And desiring to be fed with the crumbs which fell from the rich man's table: moreover the dogs came and licked his sores.  And it came to pass, that the beggar died, and was carried by the angels into Abraham's bosom: the rich man also died, and was buried;  And in hell he lift up his eyes, being in torments, and seeth Abraham afar off, and Lazarus in his bosom.  And he cried and said, Father Abraham, have mercy on me, and send Lazarus, that he may dip the tip of his finger in water, and cool my tongue; for I am tormented in this flame. But Abraham said, Son, remember that thou in thy lifetime receivedth thy good things, and likewise Lazarus evil things: but now he is comforted, and thou art tormented.  And beside all this, between us and you there is a great gulf fixed: so that they which would pass from hence to you cannot; neither can they pass to us, that would come from thence. Then he said, I pray thee therefore, father, that thou wouldest send him to my father's house: For I have five brethren; that he may testify unto them, lest they also come into this place of torment.  Abraham saith unto him, They have Moses and the prophets; let them hear them.  And he said, Nay, father Abraham: but if one went unto them from the dead, they will repent. And he said unto him, If they hear not Moses and the prophets, neither will they be persuaded, though one rose from the dead. Judgmental little bitch aren't I? Well enough of that. This is some news I’ve heard in case you haven’t-The New York Times reported “F.B.I. Is Investigating Trump’s Russia Ties, Comey Confirms -The F.B.I. chief’s remarks created a treacherous political moment for the president and placed a criminal investigation at the doorstep of the White House. Comey’s testimony before Congress said President Obama did not surveil Trump and Trump knew it was a lie when he said it but does not care.  There is an active investigating against this administration for colluding with Russia and Republicans will say anything to protect Trump from any investigation. Mike Flynn was being paid by as a foreign agent during the Trump campaign and they still made him the National Security Advisor. Sen John McCain called out Paul Rand saying that he’s working for Putin’s agenda and Rand left the floor... Utah County's NuSkin Ponzi company bought and paid for Chaffetz because NuSkin wants to expand in Russia...Chaffetz refuses to investigate Trumps ties to Russia... The Republican attempt to repeal and replace the Affordable Care Act failed! Paul Ryan conceded that the U.S. is “going to be living with Obamacare for the foreseeable future” after he abruptly canceled a scheduled vote on the repeal because he couldn’t muster the votes from the teabaggers . He wasn’t unable to narrow the schism between Freedom Caucus conservatives, who believe the bill kept too much of Obamacare intact and moderates who worry they will pay an electoral price if millions of Americans lose health insurance. There were 147 GOP amendments to the ACA in 2010 and yet not one Republican voted for it even though the ACA was as much a Republican bill as was a Democrat ... Why did not one GOP vote for it? Because Obama was president... Democrats should have never caved into the GOP and we would have been that much closer to a one payer system... The GOP is against everything except tax cuts for the Uber Rich. This is a lost to the Trump administration who ran on the platform of repealing Obamacare. In other news 10 highly placed Russians with ties to the Trump campaign have been murdered. The Russian government is controlled by an oligarchy of thugs with Vladimir Putin as the Godfather. I will make you an offer Donald that you can't refuse. All these top level Russians are mysteriously dropping dead. It is like putting a horse head in Trump's bed... and the GOP is in collusion with Russian interest... McConnell, Chaffetz, Nunes and many more... Michael Flynn was an agent of a foreign country when trump appointed him to National Security, the Vice President and Jeff Session have repeatedly lied about meeting with the Russians... The Supreme Court's United Citizen ruling opened the gate for the Uber Rich to dominate Congress and state governments. Lying Trump is now saying he never said repealing and replacing Obamacare would be easy and would be done in right away.  Conservatives can only impede progress but they can never stop it...for that I am an optimistic liberal...Conservatives fear the future ... Liberals embrace it... Conservatives live in fear...Liberals live in hope...Conservatives look back and liberals look forward... I am an FDR, LBJ, Carter, Clinton, Obama Democrat liberal... The Senate is going to investigate Russian Gate... although the GOP controlled house keep saying move along folks nothing to see here...Money evidently is the source of treason not ideology... I know it's hard for Trump supporters to admit they were conned but if they won't acknowledge it now... Either they are morons or they are also sociopaths...there’s no in between. The Senate Intelligence Committee turned down Michael Fynn’s request for immunity if he testified. Michael Flynn was on the pay roll of Turkey for a half million dollars while Head of NSA... He wants immunity for testifying about what he knows about the Russian Trump connection... The New York Times reported more than 100 Gay men have been detained and at least three have been killed by authorities in Chechnya, according to a Russian newspaper.  And Trump is still playing golf in Florida every weekend to the tune of $3 million tax dollars using unsecured Wi-Fi  while tax payers are paying $150,000 a day to keep Melania in her stately golden palace in Trump Tower.  Well I guess I bent your ear long enough. So I will close for now.

 

4 April 2017 Tuesday

It is so cold today... Why? My sweet 2^nd cousin Beverly Danforth Gollatz passed away this morning in her sleep...she was 67 years old with inoperable lung cancer...RIP We are both great grandkids of Mabry Danforth and Minnie Danforth. Her health had been declining for years and she had been a smoker for years. Her sister Barb and son Paul were with her when she died.

On this day in 1968, civil rights activist and advocate of nonviolence Martin Luther King Jr. was assassinated. His murder left many disillusioned with pacifism

·         Janna Ryan 3 April Sometimes the best recharge in life you can get is with your family. It's incredibly sad that it had to be under these circumstances...But I'm grateful nonetheless. My Aunt B is a fantastic woman and I'm one of MANY who say this. Even if they knew her for a brief moment. I hold dear the memories and what will have been our last moments together... and I find peace knowing that when you go you'll be meeting your angels on the other side. And how we agreed that "Dale will be waiting out front when you get there". I'm happy to have been able to spend time with my mama, dad, sis, cousins, and uncle during these times also. I love you Aunt B Beverly Gollatz

·         Alana Reczek- 5 April Early yesterday morning, my aunt, Beverly Gollatz passed away from lung cancer. I spent a night with her in the hospital and learned so much, but it hurt to watch her struggle. We had great conversations about life and people. We said our goodbyes on Monday, my sis and dad flew back, and I went to work yesterday. My beautiful mom and her amazing son Paul were by her side till the end. So - strange story..... I handle containers of product for my company, and we have many different names for the items. Very oddly, a co-worker called, frantically looking for the "Beverly container". She said, "I've been asking inventory and they say it doesn't exist, I need it!" She was panicking and repeating the name - I quickly located more than one container for her. I smiled and thought of Aunt B. Then, throughout the day - I was asked repeatedly for the Beverly. I'm not kidding, I heard her name more than 40 times. She was in high demand! I am the only one who handles deliveries... and I was asked ALL day long about Beverly... I had NEVER BEFORE been asked for that container. Not even a peep in 2 years. No one had ever even mentioned it. She was very present, and I got to hear her name all day long :) I have cried a lot because she meant so much to me, but the best thing I can do is carry on her attitude and personality, and continue her love of making people laugh and feel appreciated. She had such wit, and care for others and she loved her family. A favorite memory: she gave me a bell every Christmas. I put them on the tables at my wedding, and when all 10 were ringing, Jacek and I had to kiss :) She was so happy and proud listening to them. Aunt B, I know you are with me & I will miss you so much.

·         Amy Watrous 6 April -Paul and I spent the last two days together with my mom, Toni Romnes, cleaning out my mother in laws apartment. We found so many treasures and memories.  I know she enjoyed every moment she spent with everyone in her life. She had nearly 68 years of happiness and love and fun and everything in between. She loved her life and she loved her people. Thank you to everyone who made her life so enjoyable. She had fun together with all of you. We miss you Mama Bev.

 

5 April 2017 Wednesday

Had Bill Poore over for lunch because I needed to clean my house from the toy massacre ... I fixed a pot roast, with mashed potatoes, gravy, peas, squash, and some rolls... Then we sat on the veranda, watched the squirrels, and warmed our bones in the sunshine... Off to my history lecture series later tonight... Quite a difference from yesterday's frigid weather...Busy day, shopping, fixing a dinner, pruning Russia Sage back, and going the Utah Stonewall Historical Society tonight... Time for bed

·         Thanks to all who could attended our April meeting on the lecture on the turbulent year of 1968. For most of us there it was like going down memory lane as we were either in high school, college, or in Viet Nam. Dennis I think was the only one in grade school at the meeting. I am glad everyone enjoyed the topic and the peanut butter chocolate Chip cookies and the ginger snaps that Richard and Charles brought. Well we will leave Vietnam and psychedelic 1968 and talk about 1969 in our May meeting and if we don't get through it we will continue in June. Richard Harmston shared a story I was unaware of that Allen Ginsburg, the Gay poet, was invited to speak at the U of U amidst much controversy... When Ginsburg was finished he mooned the audience LOL... I love our Utah history. Its so queer.

·         Bill Poore And the great part of it is, I got to take home a container with an entire meal for later...So good. Thanks Ben, he left out the cake and whipped cream because neither one of us should be eating it....

 

6 April 2017 Thursday

My dogs want to live in squalor... I don't ... so it's a constant uphill battle six to one... And the struggle continues.. Spent the morning cleaning the bedroom's first layer of grit... I expect it to last maybe half a day... I took the closet panel doors off and carried them down stairs to the garage...surprised that this 66 year old man can still do that...Buddy is sleeping more and more in that closet so making it comfortable for him... I can tell he's wearing down...I will put up curtains instead... Kyle Daniels came over about 3 o’clock because he needed some loving and to get his rocks off.  He’s a sweet lover for sure. So photos of dead Syrian infants washed ashore on beaches, or taken from shattered cities bombed by Assad and the Russians aren't enough to keep trump from banning Syrian Refugees from the US But a gas attack suddenly makes him have a conscience? Funny when his polling numbers are so low and the investigation of his Russian connections is heating up... I don't trust that pussy grabbing sociopath ... He didn't even clear the attack before ordering it...from his pleasure palace in Florida –  With virtually no damage done to the runways, it appears this was just another distraction created by the Buffoon-In-Chief to get people and the media to NOT focus on the GOP changing the rules so as to get their Scalia-clone rammed onto the SCOTUS. Sec. of State Rex Tillerson revealed late Thursday that the U.S. warned Russia that they would be bombing the airfield in Homs, Syria since there was Russian military in the vicinity.... So we warn the people we attacked? Why were fucking Russians at the runway that was used to gas the people of Syria... Weren't they suppose to monitor Assads chemical weapons as part of Obama's deal not to bomb the shit out of them? Frigging GOP scum are trying to blame Obama for not ordering a strike against Assad in 2013 when he gassed his own people when it was the GOP who wouldn't support Obama... I am not sorry but I have no use for sociopathic Republicans. Abrasive comic Don Rickles, the honorary Rat Pack member and celebrity roast guest whose career spanned six decades, has died. He was 90. Rickles died Thursday ...

·         Kevin Scott My first thought, tragically enough, was "well that should get the attention off Russian interference in the election." Honestly, that's the way he thinks and he has a solid record of behaving that way.

·         Richard Harmston Ben, I have a new name for you: "Truth Talker". This is the best explanation for Trump's most recent action that I've read.

·         Amy Barry I thought of that little boy this morning too.

·         Peter Crane The difference in the situation. One had a big red button with the word FIRE on it followed by a couple of big booms. The other just starving huddled masses fleeing from terror.

 

7 April 2017 Friday

I did some errands today. Went to Savers and bought some curtains to put up in the bedroom and to Walmart to buy my testing strips that I was out of. Gorsuch was appointed a Supreme Court Justice through the Nuclear Option of simply having a majority vote rather than 1/3 of the Senate. He’s a GOP appointee. I can only hope history is correct. Historically Supreme Court Justice swing from conservative over time... Hopefully the newest justice placed by a GOP coup will follow suit... He clerked for Justice Kennedy. Hopefully, it influenced him. The sad thing about this is he is like Trump, won by a lack of majority voters. Mitch McConnell in 2013: sad “Breaking the rules to change the rules is un-American. I just hope the majority leader thinks about his legacy, the future of his party, and, most importantly, the future of our country before he acts.” McConnell’s hypocrisy knows no bounds. The GOP is a party of sociopath hypocrites... And that is not a hyperbole ... What a better place America would have been with Madam President ... Six missiles hurled at Syria are the cost of just one of trump’s weekly trip to play golf

 

8 April 2017 Saturday

Rainy day this morning...good for my plants that were dried out by the wind storm yesterday Doggy sitting Miley, Rich Butler’s pup, this week... Poor thing was starving... He finished his whole bowl of roasted chicken, macaroni and cheese and peas and carrots and breaded pork cutlet way before anyone else... I think he will enjoy Club Fernleaf....but what a zoo jockeying six bowls of food and TJ stealing from all of them. Here comes the rain again, heavy and steady on the roof... Looking out my bedroom door I can the veranda getting pounded...I hope my little squirrels have found a place to hide... As for my house, Lulubelle is at my feet, TJ under the covers, Buddy is sleeping in the closet, Harleigh is sleeping on the bathroom rugs, Maxx is on the lazy boy and Miley is on the gypsy red divan where he will sleep all this week a place he feels safe. We are warm and cozy with our bellies full so let it pour... We got programs to watch.  I have been binge watching Archer on Hulu and love it but hard to hear Bob Belchers voice from Bobs Burgers as the voice of Sterling Archer... Both shows are clever...Hulu also has a new series called Harlot a historical piece from a 1763 London brothel...I watch it for the authenticity and the naked boy butt shots... Whoops did I say that out loud? Jared Kushner, trump’s son in law conveniently omitted mentioning meetings he had with the Russians for his security clearance. Never before, in the history of US government, have so many meetings, with so many Russians, been remembered by so few officials. The scale of these "oversights" and memory lapses would lead one to believe that everyone, including the President, are memory impaired. It's amazing... None dare call it treason.

·         Richard Harmston Aaah, so comforting to read these words! I can almost hear the rain fall and the quiet sound of breathing across the house.

·         Rich Kane My latest short film, this one on the Radio City Lounge, which until it closed in 2009 was the oldest gay bar in Utah. This is a companion piece to a print story running in the Tribune in a few days ... Thanks for your time Edgar Ben Williams and Rose Carrier Rose Carrier!

·         Tony Bankhead WTG Rose Carrier. Everyone should also know that Alvin Gerrard also known as Al, was Brad Mabey's uncle. Brad Mabey's mother worked as the coat check person and Brad's dad was the first bouncer when first opened. There was two owners forgive my spelling if I get it wrong. Owners of Radio City was Alvin Gerrard and Lee [Caputo]. I can't spell his last name.

 

9 April 2017 Sunday

Some parts of the valley got a lot of snow but we just got a skiff here and it looks mostly like ice...took my succulents in and my plant starts...pansies and tulips should have weathered it and as soon as the sun comes up over the mountains it will melt fast...snow in April is not unusual... Snow in May is however...I went out to check my front yard from the pounding rain and sleet last night but was grateful only a few of my tulips were beat down... My April garden is so lovely with bright colored tulips, grape hyacinths, and blooming forsythias   I need to mow but not until the grass dries out...I am itching to plant my wild flowers and hollyhocks I have sprouted from seed...Can't put a vegetable garden in until May... All my snow is gone and a soak in my hot tub did me a world of good... Doggie cordon bleu tonight, roasted chicken, diced ham, and macaroni with cheese carrots and peas... Had to feed them early because met Alan Anderson, Kyle G. Daniels, T.J. Otaka, and Jim McMullin for dinner at 5:30 for a pre birthday celebration as that Alan and I share the same birthday... Don't fret Miley was fed but he finished way before anyone did. Kyle G. Daniels and Alan Anderson treated me to dinner at Log Haven up Mill Creek as a birthday treat... It was so beautiful with the waterfall flowing just across the road... Lots of snow up there from last night's snow it was like winter wonderland except a little water fall was flowing. Fine dining is totally lost on me. When I saw the prices of the dinners were between 30 and 41 dollars and even though I was being treated in good conscience I can not have a dinner that costs that much when others are paying. So I ordered  just a Caesar Salad that cost $8.  Both Alan and Kyle had lobster and steak at $41 and a bottle of wine that the “corking fee” was $19! T.J. Otaka and Jim McMullen joined us so we all had a very pleasant evening but I am glad I didn’t have an expensive dinner. I am very much still a school teacher lol. So coming home and about 8:30 I stopped at Ranchitos and bought a grilled chicken burrito for $7. However when I got home I was too tired to eat and just went to bed.

·         Gerta Orrock wrote this and I agree completely. We used to tax the wealthy at 90% to keep them from gaining too much wealth and too much power, then came Regan and the tax code switched from the benefit of the country to the benefit of the few. Now the few have their wealth and they have a dream, this dream is not the same as ours. The problem with this country is the concentrated money in too few hands. One of their billionaire speakers is Grover Norquist and he says WE don't need someone in the Whitehouse who can think WE just need someone who can hold a pen and sign legislation WE pass, as in WE the billionaires. We have been snookered and we are going to have to ride this pony to the end because we are blaming the politicians when we should be going after their owners

 

10 April 2017 Monday

I went out to a nice lunch with Bill Poore at Dickeys BBQ for my 66^th birthday.. I just had a hankering for some BBQ. While not as good as R & R or Pat’s BBQ for a chain it was good. I ordered  a brisket and pork ribs, fried okra, and Cole slaw. Yummy but I couldn’t finish it all and took the ribs home. Bill also gave me flowers, a candle, and treats for the dogs. I had picked him at Smith’s downtown, and stopped there after dropping Bill  and bought a 14 inch diameter ceramic pot that was half off and some hollyhocks.  I love hollyhocks. They are so old fashioned. Almost as soon as I came home Troy Hunter came by to work a little on my sprinkler system...it's a detective hunt to find all my buried heads, sprinkler parts not skulls. We worked a few hours and then he had to leave for his 2^nd job as a masseuse. It was a Beautiful day to turn 66 years old... I made some stew this morning and gave Bill some for his supper but he had a lot left over from lunch... He told me how he met Ronald Reagan once and was Sammy Davis Jr's personal waiter at this billionaires Christmas party in New York when he worked for this catering company.  What a life... The Salt Lake Tribune article about Radio City Lounge that Rich Kane wrote and I contributed to came out today on my birthday.

·         Alan Anderson Dear friend, Edgar Ben, and I share a birthday. He may be the pretty one, but I am the younger one. MUCH younger!! We celebrated last night at Log Haven. It was a picturesque setting, and a wonderful dinner. Love you, Ben.

·         Rich Kane-Here it is, my historical piece on the Radio City Lounge, Utah's oldest gay bar until it was torn down in 2009. Thanks so much to Edgar Ben Williams Rose Carrier Rose Carrier for making this so great! The video piece I made is attached as well ... story is running in the Trib print edition tomorrow ...

 

11 April 2017 Tuesday

So many people remembered me on my birthday on Facebook...it's nice to know so many people were thinking of me... They made the day more special. I was up early to head over to 15^th and 15^th neighborhood to take the pups to the Dog Show where Stephen manages these days. I had TJ and Maxx’s nail clipped and Coco, Lulubelle, Harleigh, and Buddy groomed. They were well over due. I paid him the $200 that Bill Poore paid me as part of the $3000 loan I gave him. So I was super pissed when they weren’t ready until after 4. I said I was not happy that they were caged for 8 hours especially when I made the appointment last January! Anyway I worked in the yard this morning mowing the front and back and raking out leaves and muck from the corner parking strip to find the third broken head.  At 12:30 I headed down to meet TJ and Jim at the Left Fork Grill in Murray at 1 pm. They wanted to treat me to lunch for my birthday week. I had a grilled pastrami sandwich and coleslaw. While there Chevy called and said the pups would not be done until later because things came up. They should have been done by noon if he’d had started on them when I dropped them off and he was just finishing up Buddy at 4 when I called so he didn’t even start them until later in the day. I was not happy and told him so. He apologized but still I have been very good to him over the years and expected him to have done better by me. Anyway it was a quarter to 5 when I dropped Coco off having gone straight from 15^th and 15^th. It takes almost a half an hour to get across town. When I pulled in with the dogs, Troy Hunter just pulled up to work on some of the heads. It was a very cool say but not chilly. My knees were bothering me getting up and down. I nearly now have to have something to hang on to as I pull myself up these days. Funny this little red hen came from down the street and just was hanging out with us as we worked on the corner and was grubbing for food in my yard. He perched up on this large rock I have on the curb and watched us. It was a curious sight to see in suburbia. Anyway we worked until almost 8 when it was getting cooler and we were losing the light. I hadn’t eaten since lunch and had a bite to eat in bed while watching the 5^th season of Archer on Hulu but fell asleep around 9:30. I was tired and feeling all of my 66 years. I posted a couple of pictures of the chicken and of the pups.

·         Rich Kane Hey Ben - hope you got a chance to read the story. It's in today's print issue as well, so if you don't grab a copy and want one, let me know and I can get one to you. And thanks a ton for your input, it wouldn't have been the same without you!

·         Edgar Ben I will pick one up to day when I go to the store... I read it on line and shared... I heard them talking about your article this morning on x96 radio from hell... Thanks...btw isn't Rose a jewel.

·         Rich \Wow, cool! Glad to know other media are talking about it ... The Trib won the Pulitzer yesterday, so papers may be scarce. Let me know if you don't get one. And yes, Rose is a rose!

·          Edgar Ben I missed getting a paper after all if you have an extra I'd appreciate it LOL

·         T.J. Otaka You had a busy day today. You might be tired but Lulu and Harleigh look dashing.

 

12 April 2017 Wednesday

Adam Bass whom I haven’t heard from in probably 10 years sent this to me, “I just watched the Salt Lake Tribune video about the Radio City bar - and though I only went there a few times from when I came out in 2001 to when I left Utah in 2007, it really made me smile at the good memories even those few visits provided.  Thanks for keeping that history alive.  You do good work!” There was a spot on article by the NY Times about how FBI Director Comey used his office to influence the election... Fire him. In part it said “Depending on the outcome of this investigation, we could be facing a constitutional crisis. Oddly, it is likely that the reason Trump is even in the Oval Office is Comey’s original, extraordinarily inappropriate and unprecedented action. The Trump machinery then used that action to scare Americans about Clinton, in one of the most astonishing acts of deflection and hypocrisy in American history.” When I went to bed Miley finally decided to join the puppy pile on the bed instead of sleeping in the front room... I received this nice letter from Kyle Foote for my birthday today...

·         Dear Ben, As March turned to April I found myself thinking a lot about you and the remarkable life you've led. You've had so many ups and downs; you've experienced tragedy and joy, love and loss, failure and success, fear and courage- challenges that would topple lesser men- and all the while you have given of yourself to those in need. In so many ways you are the bravest man I've ever known. You stand unapologetically in your truth, proud in your conviction; let the judgments come and the consequences be damned. On top of that you have kept a unique and vital record of not only just your personal history, but that of an entire tribe. Your efforts will be celebrated by future historians as your life's work reverberates for many generations to come. Of all your great efforts throughout your life, however, I'm forever grateful for your impact on my life. As long as I live you will live in my heart. Beyond that, the good turn you have done for me will ripple on in perpetuity as I pay it forward to others. I can't imagine a truer friend than I have in you and I wish you yet many more years of health, happiness, and energy to keep doing good works. Happy Birthday my friend.

 

13 April 2017 Thursday

The wind gusted gusting here in the River District at West Pointe up to 35 mph...it's playing havoc with my tulips and drying out my planters. Chuck Whyte treated me to lunch at The Other Place which was nice of him but going down town is a joke with all the lane closures... Downtown traffic isn't good at the best of times but ugh... The Other Place is overrated as far as I am concerned but that was where Chuck wanted to go. He ordered a double portion of souvlaki pork so it took forever for him to eat and I had to listen to him drone on about insipid topics… He wanted for me to pick him up Saturday so he could help with the Baptist Easter Dinner preparation and I told him flat out no… What was he thinking…he has no kitchen skills, can hardly stand without his crutch, and cannot hardly remember what he’s just been told. I said if he insisted coming he could find his own way up there… I think he was mad but really? Jim Dabakis gave me tickets to see David Sedaris at the Eccles Theater as he's out of town for a month going to Mexico and Cuba...He left them under his mat which I picked up on the way home.  After serving in the Utah legislature he should have no problem with authoritarian Cuba... When I came back home I filled a yard waste trash can with branches and twigs from the globe willow... I think Lulubelle and TJ love me...they are like glue to me... On a TV interview trump said he had bombed Iraq and had to be corrected by the interviewer  saying it was Syria This buffoon couldn't remember what country he bombed but could remember what he had the best chocolate cake ever had for dessert... Thank you all you assholes who voted for this doddering old man. Now Trump dropped a bomb on Afghanistan that cost $16 million to kill 36 members of Isis when that amount could have feed 6.5 million school children’s lunches. And America is distracted by last night’s episode of CBS’ Survivor which was called “a gut-wrenching look at the consequences of outing a transgender person against his will. These programs are taped well in advance and highly edited before being shown on TV ... Blame the producers of Survivor and CBS as well

·         Bill Poore I talked to two trans today at the Veterans Hospital, both in total agreement.. You go on a national TV show (Survivor) knowing you are a tran and expect that not to come out is silly....The staff for those shows do a complete background check. This is all about ratings. ...

 

14 April 2017 Friday

This man named Jeff Laver wrote me “Hi Ben, do you object to being thanked by name as a historical resource in the acknowledgments of a book?” I wrote him back that it wasn’t a problem and he wrote back “Great! I didn't think it would be, but thought I'd better check first. You are such an asset for our community. I've always loved reading your articles in Q Salt Lake and your online posts. Thanks. And thanks for the info you've sent me personally. I really appreciate it.”  I am not certain who he is LOL The New York Times wrote that the Justice Department obtained the secret wiretap based on evidence that Donald J. Trump's former adviser Carter Page was operating as a Russian agent according to a government official.  The House that Trump built is in deep shit and I hope it takes the GOP down with him.

 

15 April 2017 Saturday

Busy day...I did my Saturday house cleaning to get the first layer of squalor up, mopping, vacuuming, dusting. Then Rich Butler came over to retrieve Miley, who had fun on his vacation but was glad to go home... Oh and Rich too...lol Then I went grocery shopping for chicken thighs for the pups supper this evening Troy Hunter, my sprinkler guy came over just as I had to leave at 1:30 for my GMA commitment at the 1^st Baptist at 2  but I helped him pull up all these paving stones that was covering a sprinkler head on the north side of the hot tub where I had the BBQ grill. I had forgotten about there being a sprinkler head there and that I had put a sheet of plywood down as well as all theses boards but we got them all up before heading off... Ditzy Queen here... So went off to the 1st Baptist to help prep for their Easter dinner... There was about 9 of us Gay kitchen queens there to help out for 2 hours. I was in charge of making Panna cotta which I had ever made before so that freaked me and also I made the sausage gravy  but I am pooped now ... Gay Men Aloud had a great turnout for a service project for the 1st Baptists who does so much for our community. There was Dennis J. Lee, John Cooper, T.J. Otaka, Jim McMullen, Charles Bigo, Richard Harmston, Joel Jay Vallar, Greg Allen, and me... It's fun doing these service projects together... Tuesday we get to roll burritos for the homeless...The hot tub called my name...

 

16 April 2017 Easter Sunday

Happy Easter everyone Corn and Grain all that falls shall rise again. I rose from my bed at 6 am this morning to be at the 1st Baptists at 7 am for my sunrise service of helping cook an Easter Breakfast as part of a GMA service project... I was put in charge of making a batch of pancake batter from scratch to feed an army...George Bigo and I worked together cooking them on the griddle.  We started serving at 8:30 and stopped at 10:30...We probably fed a hundred people more or less Biscuits and sausage gravy, scrambled eggs, fried potatoes, baked ham, blueberry pancakes, a green salad, strawberries, granola, yogurt, and this cream custard I made yesterday... People said the food was good and no body died which I took as a good sign... It was probably a $25 a plate brunch that the church provided...I stayed until after 11:15 with clean up...after hearing the Baptists sing Up From the Grave He Arose...I took off... It ain't Easter without that hymn... A shout out to those who participated in our GMA Easter service Project today... Dennis J. Lee, John Cooper, Joel Jay Vallar, Greg Allen, Richard Harmston, and Charles Bigo. I think I am forgetting someone.... Matt Wilson of course the gravy stirrer... Anyway Charles and I were on pancake duty...I was the pourer and he was the blueberry dropper, and pancake flipper... What a team... So proud to be a member of Gay Men Aloud and get to associate with men who do service projects with a smile and a glad heart... The Baptists pulled off a great Easter Breakfast with the manpower of so many of our members...we put in collectively 60 hours of labor over two days and just at $10 an hour we donated close to $600 in labor...So I came home and took a short nap with Harleigh in my arms in the lazy boy then I planted some wild flowers I had grown from seed in my front yard flower bed. As I was watering... this white tail dove kept creeping closer and closer to the water so I misted him and he just sat there and lifted his wings as if he was taking a bath...first time I ever gave a dove a bath so that's my Easter miracle story... I am pooped... Or perhaps just an old poop...saw that Troy Hunter pulled a section of rag weed to get to my sprinkler heads on the south side of my fence so felt guilty and pulled out the rest of the 50 feet along the sidewalk...as I was out in my overalls looking like farmer Ben my neighbors to the south came over and introduced themselves... I knew the guy's name was Peter when my old neighbors Lynn and Norma moved away at least 7 years ago but he had just got married 2 years ago so met his young wife whose name is Brittany...they were amazed that I had lived here 20 years and knew everything about their house lol. I fixed an Easter dinner for myself of breaded pork loin with apple sauce, cauliflower with cheese, a baked yam with cinnamon, and cottage cheese with blackberries and a tall glass of ice tea... All that is missing is jelly beans damn it. When I was about 3 years old my grandparents who lived in Downey CA had all the aunts, uncles and cousins over for an Easter Egg Hunt... Easter was always a special holiday in the family not so much as a church centered occasion but a family one... On this special occasion most of the older kids were finding the majority of the eggs while I stumbled upon the goose egg which was bigger than the rest and therefore I got the biggest prize...a solid chocolate Easter bunny... And thus my road to adult diabetes began. It's all fun and games until you have to start taking insulin... I watched Carousel on Netflix and while its not my favorite musical because its kind of dark with spousal abuse I love the opening overture and watching the boys dance in the number June is Busting Out All over.

 

17 April 2017 Monday

Its been a year TJ has been a member of my puppy pack now for an entire year... I had fostered him for about a week or so and couldn't let the little wart go... he is such a pill who loves everyone... It's a big pain in the butt when you have all these auto payments for bills on your debit card and it expired this year and so you have to change all the scheduled payments for your new card and you can't remember any of your passwords so you have to jump through all their hoops...oh well I am good until 2020 now...Mark Angus wrote me “ Hi Ben, I want to start an action to end the Chechnyan concentration camp. I would like to run my ideas past you and pick your brain on how to best move this forward. Do you have time this week to meet over coffee or the like?” So we are going to meet this Wednesday at 6 pm at the Raw Bean.

I wrote Kyle Foote a long letter today.

·         Dear Kyle,  I hope you had a pleasant Easter considering your circumstances. Did they provide a special meal?  I want to thank you for your thoughtful birthday letter. It meant more to me than may know.              After I wrote you last the weather has been going from pleasant, to cold, to windy, to snow. It’s been all over the place. On Wednesday the 5^th I had my Utah Stonewall Historical Society Lecture meeting and I lectured on the turbulent Vietnam and psychedelic year of 1968. For most of us there at the meeting it was like going down memory lane as we were either in high school, college, or in Viet Nam that year. In May I will talk about 1969 and if we don't get through it we will continue in June. Richard Harmston, one of the guys who attends shared a story I was unaware of how Allen Ginsburg, the Gay poet, was invited to speak at the U of U in 1968 amidst much controversy as you can imagine and when Ginsburg finished his lecture and poetry reading he mooned the audience LOL... I love our Utah history. It’s so queer. My dogs want to live in squalor...but I don't ... so it's a constant uphill battle six to one... And the struggle continues. Last week I spent the morning cleaning the bedroom's first layer of grit, it lasted maybe half a day. I took the closet panel doors off one of my closets and carried them down stairs to the garage...surprised that this 66 year old man can still do that. I put up curtains instead. The doors kept coming off their rails and Buddy is sleeping more and more in that closet so making it comfortable for him. I can tell he's wearing down. Last week I doggy sat Miley, my friend Rich Butler’s pup, for the week....  I have been binge watching Archer on Hulu and love it but hard to hear Bob Belchers voice from Bobs Burgers as the voice of Sterling Archer... Both shows are clever but Archer is really dirty LOL...Hulu also has a new series called Harlot a historical piece from a 1763 London brothel...I watch it for the authenticity and for the naked boy butt shots... Whoops did I say that out loud? On the Sunday before my birthday, some parts of the valley got a lot of snow but we just got a skiff here and it looks mostly like it was icy sleet.  I took my succulents in and my plant starts but pansies and tulips weathered it and as soon as the sun comes up over the mountains it melted.  Snow in April is not unusual... My April garden is so lovely with bright colored tulips of red, pink, orange and purple, grape hyacinths, and blooming yellow forsythias. I am itching to plant my wild flowers and hollyhocks I have sprouted from seed. I can't put a vegetable garden in until May... That evening Alan Anderson, Kyle G. Daniels treated me to a pre birthday dinner at Log Haven up Millcreek Canyon . Alan and I share the same birthday. It was so beautiful up in the snow frosted canyon with the waterfall flowing just across the road. It was like winter wonderland except for the little water fall which was flowing. Fine dining is totally lost on me. When I saw the prices of the dinners were between 30 and 41 dollars and even though I was being treated, in good conscience, I can not have a dinner that costs that much when others are paying for my dinner. So I ordered  just a Caesar Salad that cost $8.  Both Alan and Kyle had lobster and steak at $41 and a bottle of wine that the “corking fee” was $19! I am glad I didn’t have an expensive dinner. I very much still have a school teacher mentality lol. So coming home about 8:30 I stopped at Ranchitos and bought a grilled chicken burrito for $7. However when I got home I was too tired to eat that I just went to bed. For my actual birthday I went out to a nice lunch with Bill Poore at Dickeys BBQ for my 66^th birthday. I just had a hankering for some BBQ. While not as good as R & R or Pat’s BBQ for a chain it was good. I ordered a brisket and pork ribs, fried okra, and Cole slaw. Yummy but I couldn’t finish it all and took the ribs home. Bill also gave me flowers, a candle, and treats for the dogs. I made some stew this morning and gave Bill some for his supper but he had a lot left over from lunch... At lunch he told me how when he was a cater waiter he met Ronald Reagan and was Sammy Davis Jr's personal waiter at this billionaires Christmas party in New York when he worked for this catering company.  What a life... For myself I bought a 14 inch diameter ceramic planter pot that was half off and some hollyhocks.  I love hollyhocks. They are so old fashioned. Also the Salt Lake Tribune article about Radio City Lounge that Rich Kane wrote and in which I had contributed came out today on my birthday but officially in print the next day. Almost as soon as I came home Troy Hunter came by to work a little on my sprinkler system...it's like a detective hunt to find all my buried heads, [sprinkler parts not skulls LOL]. We worked a few hours. It was a beautiful day to turn 66 years old. So many people remembered me on my birthday on Facebook It's nice to know so many people were thinking of me... They made the day more special. The next day I was up early to head over to 15^th and 15^th neighborhood to take the pups to the Dog Show where Stephen Bolinder manages these days. He had groomed the dogs for probably 7 years before he gave up the  mobile grooming business. I was super pissed however when they weren’t ready until after 4. I said I was not happy that they were caged for 8 hours especially when I made the appointment last January! They should have been done by noon if he’d had started on them when I dropped them off at 8 am and he was just finishing up Buddy at 4 so he didn’t even start them until later in the day. I was not happy and told him so. He apologized but still I have been very good to him over the years and expected him to have done better by me my pups. Anyway I worked in the yard mowing the front and back and raking out leaves and muck from the corner parking strip to find the third broken head. Then I headed down to at the Left Fork Grill in Murray meet some more friends who wanted to treat me to lunch for my birthday.. Anyway it was a quarter to 5 when I dropped Coco off having gone straight from 15^th and 15^th. It takes almost a half an hour to get across town. When I pulled in with the dogs at the house, Troy Hunter, my sprinkler guy just pulled up to work on some of the heads. It was a very cool day but not chilly. My knees were bothering me getting up and down. I nearly now have to have something to hang on to as I pull myself up these days. A funny thing happened when this little red hen came from down the street and was hanging out with us as we worked on the corner and was grubbing for food in my yard. He perched up on this large rock I have on the curb and watched us. It was a curious sight to see in suburbia. When I was went to bed I was bone tired and feeling all of my 66 years. I got your letter on the 12^th and that made my day. The next day the winds gusted here in West Pointe up to 35 mph. It was playing havoc with my tulips and drying out my planters. Chuck Whyte treated me to lunch that afternoon at The Other Place which was nice of him but going down town is a joke right now with all the lane closures... Downtown traffic isn't good at the best of times but ugh... The Other Place is overrated as far as I am concerned but that was where Chuck wanted to go. He ordered a double portion of souvlaki pork so it took forever for him to eat and I had to listen to him drone on about insipid topics… He wanted for me to pick him up Saturday so he could help with the Baptist Easter Dinner preparation and I told him flat out no… What was he thinking?…he has no kitchen skills, can hardly stand without his crutch, and cannot hardly remember what he’s just been told. I said if he insisted coming he could find his own way up there… I think he was mad but really? Jim Dabakis gave me tickets to see David Sedaris at the Eccles Theater as he's out of town for a month going to Mexico and Cuba...He left them under his mat which I picked up on the way home.  After serving in the Utah legislature he should have no problem with the authoritarian regime of Cuba... When I came back home I filled a yard waste trash can with branches and twigs from the globe willow. April is the month of yard cleanup. Saturday was a busy day...I did my Saturday morning house cleaning to get the first layer of squalor up, mopping, vacuuming, dusting. Then Rich Butler came over to retrieve Miley, who had fun on his vacation but was glad to go home... Troy Hunter, my sprinkler guy came over just as I had to leave at 1:30 for my Gay Men Aloud commitment at the 1^st Baptist at 2  but I stayed to help him pull up all these paving stones that was covering a sprinkler head on the north side of the hot tub where I had the BBQ grill. I had forgotten about there being a sprinkler head there and that I had put a sheet of plywood down as well as all theses boards but we got them all up before heading off... Ditzy Queen here... So off I went to the 1st Baptist to help prep for their Easter dinner. I was coordinating the event for GMA.. There were about 9 of us kitchen queens from GMA there to help out for 2 hours. I was in charge of making Panna cotta which I had never made before so that freaked me thinking it was never going to set up and also I made about 4 gallons of  the sausage gravy. I was pooped and feet sore because I had wore my sandals instead of shoes with support.   Gay Men Aloud’s turnout for the service project for the 1st Baptists was great and we wanted to give back to them for all they so for our community. It was fun doing these service projects together and next Tuesday we are going as a group to roll burritos for the homeless. When I came home the hot tub was calling my name...     Well Sunday morning I rose from my bed at 6 am to be at the 1st Baptists at 7 am for my sunrise service of helping cook an Easter Breakfast as part of our GMA service project... I was put in charge of making a batch of pancake batter from scratch to feed an army.  Good thing I once was a dormitory cook. George Bigo and I worked together cooking them on the griddle.  George is a little older than me and born in Paris France and served in Vietnam. I love all the old guys of GMA. Anyway Charles and I were on pancake duty...I was the pourer and he was the blueberry dropper, and pancake flipper... What a team... So proud to be a member of Gay Men Aloud and get to associate with men who do service projects with a smile and a glad heart...We started serving at 8:30 and stopped at 10:30...We probably fed a hundred people more or less. We had Biscuits and sausage gravy, scrambled eggs, fried potatoes, baked ham, blueberry pancakes, a green salad, strawberries, granola, yogurt, and this cream custard Panna Cotta I made yesterday. I was so relieved to see that it set up overnight other wise  we would have served over a 100 sweeten milk lol. People said the food was good and nobody died which I took as a good sign... It was probably a $25 a plate brunch that the church provided...I stayed until after 11:15 with clean up...after hearing the Baptists sing Up From the Grave He Arose...I took off... It ain't Easter without that hymn... Mormons just don’t know how to do an Easter Service right. The Baptists pulled off a great Easter Breakfast with the manpower of so many of our members...we put in collectively 60 hours of labor over two days and just at $10 an hour we donated close to $600 in labor...So I came home afterwards and took a short nap with Harleigh sleeping in my arms in the lazy boy. Then because I still had the entire afternoon left I planted some wild flowers I had grown from seed in my front yard flower bed. As I was watering... this white tail dove kept creeping closer and closer to the water so I misted him and he just sat there and lifted his wings as if he was taking a bath...first time I ever gave a dove a bath so that's my Easter miracle story... I also saw that Troy Hunter had pulled a section of rag weed to get to my sprinkler heads on the south side of my fence so felt guilty and pulled out the rest of the 50 feet along the sidewalk. My hands cramped up after that. As I was out in my overalls looking like farmer Ben my neighbors to the south came over and introduced themselves... I knew the guy's name was Peter when my old neighbors Lynn and Norma moved away at least 7 years ago but he had just got married 2 years ago so met his young wife whose name is Brittany. Isn’t that such a Mormon name? But they were sweet and  amazed that I had lived here 20 years now and knew everything about their house lol.  I fixed an Easter dinner for myself of breaded pork loin with apple sauce, cauliflower with cheese, a baked yam with cinnamon, and cottage cheese with blackberries and a tall glass of ice tea... All that is missing are jelly beans damn it. When I was about 3 years old my grandparents who lived in Downey CA had all the aunts, uncles and cousins over for an Easter Egg Hunt... Easter was always a special holiday in the family not so much as a church centered occasion but a family one... On this special occasion most of the older kids were finding the majority of the eggs while I stumbled upon the goose egg which was bigger than the rest and therefore I got the biggest prize...a solid chocolate Easter bunny... And thus my road to adult diabetes began. It's all fun and games until you have to start taking insulin... I watched Carousel on Netflix and while it’s not my favorite musical because it’s kind of dark with spousal abuse, I love the opening overture and watching the boys dance in the number June is Busting Out All over.  So that was my Easter and birthday week. I guess you heard comic Don Rickles, the honorary Rat Pack member and celebrity roast master died at the age of 90. He was probably not on your generation’s radar. His career spanned six decades. I was not fooled by trump’s attempt to divert attention from the Russian Connection by bombing Syria and Afghanistan.  So photos of dead Syrian infants washed ashore on beaches, or taken from shattered cities bombed by Assad and the Russians aren't enough to keep trump from banning Syrian Refugees from the US? But a gas attack suddenly makes him have a conscience? Funny when his polling numbers are so low and the investigation of his Russian connections is heating up... I don't trust that pussy grabbing sociopath ... He didn't even clear the attack before ordering it from his pleasure palace in Florida while eating Chocolate cake! With virtually no damage done to the runways, it appears this was just another distraction created by the Buffoon-In-Chief to get people and the media to NOT focus on the GOP changing the rules so as to get the Scalia-clone rammed onto the SCOTUS. Sec. of State Rex Tillerson revealed that the U.S. had warned Russia that they would be bombing the airfield in Syria since there was Russian military in the vicinity. Since when do we warn the people we attacked? And Why were fucking Russians at the runway that was used to gas the people of Syria anyway?... Weren't they suppose to monitor Assads chemical weapons as part of Obama's deal not to bomb the shit out of them? 59 missiles hurled at Syria and just 6 are the cost of just one of trump’s weekly trip to play golf at tax payers expense. Fucking Republicans scream at paying for school lunches but nary a word about paying millions for a billionaire to play golf. Fucking GOP scum tried to blame Obama for not ordering a strike against Assad in 2013 when he gassed his own people then when it was the GOP who wouldn't support Obama.. I am not sorry but I have no use for sociopathic Republicans. Well Gorsuch was appointed a Supreme Court Justice through the Nuclear Option of simply having a majority vote rather than 2/3 of the Senate. So he’s a GOP appointee and I guess justice won’t be blind. I can only hope history is correct. Historically Supreme Court Justice swing from conservative over time... Hopefully this newest justice placed by a GOP coup will follow suit... He clerked for Justice Kennedy. Hopefully, it influenced him. Mitch McConnell’s hypocrisy knows no bounds. In 2013 he said this “Breaking the rules to change the rules is un-American. I just hope the majority leader thinks about his legacy, the future of his party, and, most importantly, the future of our country before he acts.” The GOP is a party of sociopath hypocrites... And that is not a hyperbole ... What a better place America would have been with Madam President . Jared Kushner, trump’s son in law conveniently omitted mentioning the meetings he had with the Russians for his security clearance. Never before, in the history of US government, have so many meetings, with so many Russians, been remembered by so few officials. The scale of these "oversights" and memory lapses would lead one to believe that everyone, including the President, are memory impaired. It's amazing... None dare call it treason. Gerta Orrock wrote this and I agree completely. We used to tax the wealthy at 90% to keep them from gaining too much wealth and too much power, then came Reagan and the tax code switched from the benefit of the country to the benefit of the few. Now the few have their wealth and they have a dream, however this dream is not the same as ours. The problem with this country is the concentrated money in too few hands. One of the billionaire shills is Grover Norquist and he says WE don't need someone in the Whitehouse who can think… WE just need someone who can hold a pen and sign legislation WE pass, as in WE the billionaires. We have been snookered and we are going to have to ride this pony to the end because we are blaming the politicians when we should be going after their owners,” There was a spot on article by the NY Times about how FBI Director Comey used his office to influence the election... Fire him. In part it said “Depending on the outcome of this investigation, we could be facing a constitutional crisis. Oddly, it is likely that the reason Trump is even in the Oval Office is Comey’s original, extraordinarily inappropriate and unprecedented action. The Trump machinery then used that action to scare Americans about Clinton, in one of the most astonishing acts of deflection and hypocrisy in American history.” On a TV interview trump said he had bombed Iraq and had to be corrected by the interviewer saying it was Syria. This buffoon couldn't remember what country he bombed but could remember that he had the best chocolate cake ever had for dessert... Thank all of you assholes who voted for this doddering old man.  Trump dropped a bomb on Afghanistan that cost $16 million to kill 36 members of Isis when that amount could have fed 6.5 million school children’s lunches. And America is so distracted by an episode of CBS’ Survivor which was called “a gut-wrenching look at the consequences of outing a transgender person against his will.” These programs are taped well in advance and highly edited before being shown on TV . Blame the producers of Survivor, and CBS as well. Bill Poore said he talked to two trans at the Veterans Hospital, and both were in total agreement.. He said “You go on a national TV show (Survivor) knowing you are a tran and expect that not to come out is silly....The staff for those shows do a complete background check. This is all about ratings.” Then just the other day the New York Times wrote that the Justice Department obtained a secret wiretap based on evidence that Donald J. Trump's former adviser Carter Page was operating as a Russian agent according to a government official.  Rudy Guiliani asked for a deal to testify but the FBI turned him down because they already have enough dirt. The House that Trump built is in deep shit and I hope it takes the GOP down with him. However I fear trump will start World War III before he lets that happens. Mark Angus and I are meeting this coming Wednesday to discuss forming a protest response to Russian and American lack of response to Gay men being killed and forced into a Chechnya concentration camp. It’s frightening when the far right get’s control of the government.    Well enough doom and gloom. Resistance is a positive act we can all participate in. As I ever was or ever shall be Your friend Ben

 

18 April 2017 Tuesday

A year ago I fostered two scared little boy schnauzers who were taken from the streets of West Valley I had them groomed and Wiley turned into one of the most beautiful schnauzers I ever saw.. He was adopted into a family that loved Schnauzers as much I do...it was hard to let him go but I kept Farley who later died about 4 months later.... He was a big a mess as this one but groomed him and he loved me until he died with me by his side petting him...Troy Hunter came over and fixed a sprinkler head in the backyard and replaced heads with parts I had. At 5:30 went down to Rico warehouse for a service project that Gay Men Aloud sponsored. Our GMA group provided the labor tonight for The Burrito Project SLC. We rolled a couple hundred burritos and some had the privilege of delivering them to the homeless in the Rio Grande neighborhood of the SLC during a massive rainstorm. I put my superior burrito rolling skills to good use....I knew the skills I learned at Taco Bell over 45 years ago would be useful one day...actually it was rather fun...I chose however not to do the delivery because I wanted to be home with the hounds and it was a wise decision as SLC was hit with a torrent of hard rain...so between feeding the Baptists and feeding the homeless I think my good deeds should cancel out a few of my sins.. Terry Gilman, Kent Scadlock, and his son McKay, Dennis Lee, TJ Otaka and Jim McMillan, Richard Harmston and Charles Bigo, Connell O’Donovan and his refugee friend, The rain is really coming down here in buckets...hear it pounding on the roof...glad to be dry and warm in this April Shower

·         Bill Poore I am sure the puppies are happy you are there to keep them safe, warm, and of course well fed. Not hearing well I did not even hear the rain until I read your post and looked out and saw it was pouring.

 

19 April 2017 Wednesday

Chuck Whyte called me at 4:50 this morning and again at 5:15 and the phone ring woke me up although I didn’t answer the phone.  Please don't call me between 9 pm and 9 am...as chances are that the phone is in the car, I can't hear it with the Cpap going or my battery is dead. My mother always said don't call me in the middle of the night to tell me someone died. I'll need my rest for dealing with it the next day...and also if it's an emergency, call 911 for goodness sakes...I don't know CPR. The sun came out after a very rainy morning... I needed to go out this morning because the pups are out of their chicken thighs and cheesy treats, and I am running on empty. Why is gas $2.39 up here on 7th North and Redwood when down on 13th South and Redwood it's $2.15? I guess it’s not worth saving a buck or two and chance running out of gas...Busy day...mowed front and back yards and parking strips and pulled up all the weeds by my mailbox and by the extra driveway. That took 2 hours but it is easier pulling the grass and weeds when the grounds wet. Also baked chicken for the pups supper and made a batch of pecan, raisin, coconut granola this morning... Once a hippie always a hippie....Harleigh jumped up on  me... He's says I was gone such a long time in the front yard and now he's hungry... This evening I went to Raw Beans to meet with Mark Angus at 6 pm. He wanted to pick my brain about forming a response to the US lack of condemnation of Chechnya. Kyle Foote called while at the meeting and I had him call me back at 7 pm. He called to say why he hadn’t called in two weeks. I guess since they transferred a lot of the Draper prisoners down to Gunnison they have caused a lot of problems causing to prison to go on lock down. He also said that the prison needed my social security number now as well as my drivers license. Jacks asses. Its not like my SS ever expires. Good News this morning... Jason Chaffetz said he will not run for re-election in 2018. He should resign now... I wonder what crap is going on to force him to make this decision? Ties to Russia? Utah County quit electing Putzes who make you look like Morons not Mormons.

 

20 April 2017 Thursday

Sleepy type of day...gloomy and over cast...then pouring rain then clearing now gloomy again...I went out in the break in the weather to my credit union to transfer funds from savings to checking to pay some big bills. I sent Kyle Foote $325 yesterday and today Troy Hunter came over with an itemized bill on the work he’s done so far on the sprinkler system.. He billed me for 23 hours at $35 an hour which came to $805 and with the material he bought that was another $142. Other than that curled up with the dogs napped and hot tubbed...

 

21 April 2017 Friday

Its being reported by Lisa Garner from the site Reason and Justice, that Jason Chaffetz’s campaign “took $10million donation from Trump the same day he leaked Comey letter”.  Only way to make America Great Again is to Resist, Insist, Persist, and Enlist... Russian President Vladimir Putin’s spokesman sought to downplay evidence of a campaign of abuse targeting gay men in Chechnya, saying the Kremlin has “heard no confirmation” of reports that have prompted outrage in the West. Speaking to journalists on April 20, Kremlin spokesman Dmitry Peskov said Putin has no reason to doubt regional leader Ramzan Kadyrov’s assurances that there is no persecution of gays in Chechnya....

22 April 2017 Saturday

I feel lucky when someone I loved and now is gone comes visits me in dreamland... When I awake it's like a real experience.. John Cunningham came to me in a dream and I remember his getting into the backseat of a car with me and I was able to hold him once more.  Soon it will be ten years since he left this mortal coil. Saturday house cleaning this morning and got the first layer of grit up.. Mopped and swept, did the dishes, and vacuumed after taking a well deserved nap... I had my posse over for a ham dinner in the early evening so got all the prep work is done this morning Watched my fat squirrel munching down on peanuts and sunflower seeds I leave out for him. Had a very fun evening with a gaggle of my Gay friends I had over for dinner and a movie. I fixed a pineapple glazed ham, cheesy potatoes, English peas, creamed corn, deviled eggs, and dinner rolls. For dessert I made a coconut cream pie, a chocolate banana cream pie, and bread pudding with brandy sauce. Dinner was at 6 pm. TJ and Jim brought strawberries and whipped cream and Alan and Kyle brought two bottles of wine. Bill Poore brought me flowers as always, Jay brought me a gift from the Philippines, and Richard Harmston brought me a cute little book called the Last Will and Testament of a Special Dog. Others that came was Greg Allen, Charles Bigo, and Dennis Lee. So I had a houseful. I think everyone was enjoyed themselves and the meal. After dinner Jay, Greg, and Bill left but the rest of us watched Victor/Victoria. Alan commented that it was a really fun movie. When the evening was over I sent pie and bread pudding home with everyone. so I hoped everyone had a nice evening too...Today was Earth Day and there were marches across the United States to protest the trump administration’s anti-science policies.

 

23 April 2017 Sunday

Kind of a cool gloomy Sunday to do much but it kind of cleared up in the afternoon but the yard is way too wet to do much... Bill Poore wanted to come over to pay me $100 from the loan I gave him to pay off his credit cards. He’s paid me $300 so far. When he came over we visited some and we watched Lulu Belle chase my squirrels who likes to come on the railing to eat their peanuts and sunflower seeds... I'd like to work some in the yard but ain't gonna happen... I've got a misery in my right side of my face which I hope isn't an ear infection coming on....eating homemade granola and vanilla yogurt for lunch...

 

24 April 2017 Monday

Seattle weather in Salt Lake City...raining here to beat the band...no yard work today... Chinese take out for lunch... Sit down restaurants I like Charlie Chows in SLC or China Star in Bountiful... I go to the Golden Pearl down the street for takeout because it's close.... I had Pork Chow Mein, fried rice, two fantail shrimp $6 lunch special... Enough for two meals. Chinese fortune cookies are full of crap...when did they become an advice column rather then telling my fortune...I want one that says something like you will meet a rich handsome stranger. I worked on my novel most of the day before taking Coco home. The I retired to bed and watched a couple of episodes of Bob’s Burger and reruns of Golden Girls from 1991. Hard to believe it went off the air so long ago and still fresh.

 

25 April 2017 Tuesday

For the past three nights I have had strange dreams of being at school and in each one, I am either packing up or feeling like I don't belong there anymore, explaining to people I don't know, why I am leaving and how different school is for children these days... I tested my blood this morning and it was 97. What a roller coaster...up down up down.  Its another Seattle weather morning with rain all night. Its cold, damp, and gloomy. Fed my red squirrels and then the pups before fixing me breakfast of two scramble eggs, a sausage patty, and an English Muffin. I also had coffee and a grapefruit.  It rained all morning so I made a pot of chili. It feels like chili weather.  Today is Holocaust Memorial Day which is timely as Gay men are being killed, tortured, and put in concentration camps in Chechnya, Russia

 

26 April 2017 Wednesday

Dennis Lee texted me that Kent is sick still again and asked if I would speak at GMA this next Monday the first of May (May day) about my experiences as a gay man.  I said I would. I went out into the rain to meet Rich Kane at Mestizo Café who wanted to give be copies of the SLTibunes coverage of the Radio City  he wrote. I waited until after 6 pm hoping that Kyle might call but evidently Gunnison is on lockdown again.

 

27 April 2017 Thursday

April 27, 7:00pm, Rose Wagner Theatre. Based on a true story of a pastor's daughter who leaves her home for a job at Harvard University's Observatory in 1893. She makes an amazing discovery about the existence of galaxies.

 

28 April 2017 Friday

It's supper time ... The pups favorite time except maybe when Coco comes over in the morning... Baked chicken thighs and left over ham from last Saturday... The pups love left overs...On this gloomy rainy day, the pups and I stayed in bed and finished watching the 7th and last season of the Golden Girls...I watched all 7 seasons on Hulu over the past couple of weeks...the last episode aired 25 years ago May 6... Fun to watch all the episodes in chronological order...I also watched a documentary called Orange Sunshine which made me recall how different my teenage years in Orange County is from my life now...the show talked briefly about the Brotherhood of Eternal Love which was the major distributor of LSD in California and they  interviewed Michael Randall who is the head of it now...He is married to Carol Horan who is the daughter of my mom's best friend Jean who lived across the street from us... Carol was first married to John Griggs who was the Messiah for the Brotherhood... Before becoming hippies Carol and John were surfers and I baby sat their kids Jerry and Jenny in Huntington Beach... When they became LSD distributors they moved to Laguna Beach and ran drugs out of the Mystic Art Gallery where I met Timothy Leary... I had no idea that John was the main distributor of Orange Sunshine...I thought they were just hippies that I helped Jean make tepees for... John died of an overdose just days after their baby Full Buck Moon was born in July 1969.:. What a different life I had then...

 

29 April 2017 Saturday

Home from a great time going to lunch and a play with Jim McMullin, Alan Anderson, and Mike Romero... T.J. Otaka was going to attend but felt he needed to stay with his kitty who doing poorly so Jim asked me to find someone who could use the ticket which was already bought so I called Michael and he was available. We first went to R & R BBQ on 6^th South. That place is always crowded but good. I had a pulled pork sandwich  and fried Okra which Michael treated me. Kevin Scott said if we sit on the south side of the theater we would get to see a naked butt. So we hurried off after eating and found our seats and yes indeed this cute young man mooned the guard in the play which could have only been seen from where we was sitting. Hallelujah.  The Utah Repertory Theater Company was performing at the Sorensen Community Center Kiss of the Spider Woman the Musical... It was excellent and the 8 shirtless male dancers didn't hurt none either.

 

30 April 2017 Sunday

So ends rainy April. Today was sunny until the afternoon when it got cloudy. I worked a couple of hours on Handmaiden of the Lord then worked some out in the backyard pulling weeds and getting the soil ready in my little garden plot. In the afternoon I went down to Sunderland’s which had large tomato plants on sale for $1.99 each instead of $4.99 so I bought three of them, some red geraniums, and yellow marigolds. I also bought me a U of U cap, some pumpkin seeds, and a bulb to replace the one in my lava lamp. They sure burn out a lot. Bought Onion Rings and a Pastrami Sandwich at Apollo Burger for a late lunch. Harleigh is either losing his marbles are he’s having a hard time coming up the back steps. He stands on the lower deck and barks until I help him come up poor guy.

 

MAY

1 May 2017 Monday

Well my bariatric surgery is a go. My surgeon wanted my A1c down to 8 before I could have surgery. I just made it under the wire at 7.9 down three points from 10.9 two months ago... Five months ago it was 8.7 Blood pressure is good so it was a good check up... That was a relief and another hurdle gone over. I also had my Functional Ability Medical Report sent off to the DMV so I can keep my drivers license. I have to do this each year because of my diabetes.  I went to Gay Men Aloud tonight as that Dennis Lee asked if I would do a presentation. It was a very small turn out mostly the core group but it was a fun evening tonight... More treats than people so it seemed. I shared a quiz on the three archetypes among Gay men, Celtic, Roman, and Goth that shows up in the Gay Men tribe as Clans of Faeries, Leathermen, and Bears... Shared a little of why I became an activist because of experiences in high school and college... Hope I didn't put anyone to sleep...

 

2 May 2017 Tuesday

Another busy day...Ruby Red is in the shop to find out why all the dash board lights come on intermittently... Michael Romero picked me up... At home finished my presentation for the Utah Stonewall Historical Society for tomorrow and the worked in the back yard... Planted some Indian Corn, and tomorrow I will plant pumpkin seeds, cantaloupe seeds after that. We will see in three weeks what took and sprouted... Then pulled all the weeds along the fence line on the east side and laid logs for a border... I went to Sunderland’s and bought a bunch of shrubs to plant along the fence. I planted 2 blue spiraeas, 2 gold mound spiraeas, 2 gold vicary privits, and a lilac bush after cleaning out the weeds along the east fence...should look colorful when they mature and I can just relax and enjoy my pretty pansies. Worked 3 hours now I am pooped. I think Buddy is going blind in his right eye poor old boy...but seems to see out of the left...

 

3 May 2017 Wednesday

I think I got a lot of sun today being outside most of the afternoon... Troy Hunter came over to work some more on my sprinkler system so I weeded and raked and moved logs in the back yard...fill a huge garbage can with debris... It was a beautiful day with a mild breeze...made me want to lay on the grass and bask in the sun... I went to May's 1st Wednesday Lecture series I spoke on the events of 1969 and now we have covered Utah through three decades now, the 1940s, 1950s, and the 1960's. Our next meeting we will discuss 1970 and 1971 as the Gay Liberation Front movement takes root with the slogan Out of the Closet into the Streets.

·         T.J. Otaka It was a very detailed lecture on 1969. I found it interesting to see that Gay Liberation Front was formed in Utah as early as 1969. Thanks again.

·         Dear Kyle,       I hope this letter finds you well. I received your letter on the 1^st of May so it came pretty fast. I am glad you are buying bedding and hopefully they won’t transfer you so you can keep it. I could only send $325 because that was the limit they would let me so I will send you $50 today so you will have enough to get what you need.  Have the Draper transfers settled down or are they still causing trouble so you get locked down.  Sounds pretty selfish and immature but that probably got them locked up in the first place but feel bad for families that drive all the way down and don’t get to have a visit. My car is in the shop again. All the dash board lights come on periodically while driving and while it hasn’t stalled the car yet, I have to have to have it checked out as it may be a computer going out or some electrical problem. I have been using the truck but as its 20 years old now it’s having its own issues that I will need to have addressed. Nothing mechanical, just the cruise control, the 3^rd door latch, the air conditioner, and the ignition which sometimes won’t engage with the clutch. If I wait awhile and try again it usually starts right back up.  So I am reluctant to drive long distances until I get both vehicles repaired. I searched high and low for my social security card but can’t find it so I have to order a duplicate so I can make a copy for corrections which is total bull shit since they have my original form and SS do not change. Oh well it is what it is. Monday I went in to my regular doctor for an A1c blood test as that my Bariatric Surgeon wanted down to 8 from the 10.9 it was. I made it under the wire 7.9 in just 2 months so I guess my surgery is a go now.  It’s for May 22^nd which is a Monday but I will be going in a couple of times before that for some testing. I will be in the hospital for 2 days so Michael will have to take care of the pups. I think poor old Buddy is going blind in his right eye as when I wave my hand in that direction he doesn’t respond. It may be why he hugs the railing when he comes up the steps. He is sleeping a lot more usually on the carpet under the dining table. Probably feels safe there.   Harleigh who is probably 9 years old now is starting to get dementia I think. He stands out on the deck and barks like he can’t come up the steps until I call him and then he has to get a running start.  We are all getting old I guess. Lulu Belle is only about 5 and Maxx is 3 and TJ about 2. Lulu Belle loves chasing my squirrels who have decided to make my trees their home. They took over a magpie nest and there’s about three of them, red tails that I feed peanuts and sunflower seeds to every morning. I like sitting on the deck and watching them play in the trees. They aren’t afraid of Lulu Belle because she can’t reach them. Maxx and Coco are inseparable now. Coco cant wait to come over in the morning to wrestle with Maxx. He is such a playful sweet dog. A perfect dog except he sheds like Priscilla did. I never thought I’d love a Chihuahua but little TJ is adorable. He’s a lap dog, and doesn’t bark or act neurotic. He loves people and wants to be held by everyone. He stands on his hind legs and does a little dance until you pick him up. Last Saturday went to a performance of Kiss of the Spider Woman a musical that takes place in an Argentine prison in 1975 where a political prisoner is put in a cell with a sissy window dresser who is in prison for corrupting a minor. He tells stories of all the movies he’s seen to the political prisoner who is extremely homophobic but eventually develops a love for the window dresser. Its seems like a weird plot for a Broadway Musical but the team that wrote Cabaret and Chicago did the musical score and Terrance McNally who wrote The Ritz and Love! Valour! Compassion! did the story line.   It was a local production and I went with friends and Michael Romero. There was about 8 male dancers who were playing prisoners and guards, shirtless most of the time, and one even flashed his cute butt. LOL  Made this old queen smile. The weather is so weird, one day heavy rain, one day warm, then rain again. They say there will be flooding until July from the snow pack.  But I have started my garden again. I am planting six tomato plants from starts, and Indian Corn, pumpkins, and cantaloupe from seed. So will have to be patient to see what takes. I will probably plant some squash too but maybe not. It’s just as easy to go to the Murray Farmers Market to shop but after my surgery I won’t be eating much at all. My stomach will be the size of an egg. I guess you heard in the news that Donald Trump didn’t know why the Civil War happened and President Andrew Jackson would have stopped it. That would have been hilarious if not for the fact that he’s the fucking President of the United States… well his followers don’t care because they are as stupid as he is I suppose. I don’t have much more to say so here’s a copy of my Lambda Lore Column which will be in the June Issue of the Q. Sodomy in the City of Joseph For much of the first half of 1841, John C Bennett, the mayor of Nauvoo, was the subject of bawdy hearsay noting his having been seen frequenting the city’s whore house, rumored to be seducing married women, and even being an abortionist.  All these tales paled in comparison to the salacious whispering that, as Major General of the Nauvoo Legion, Bennett was said to be promoting young brethren to high-ranking positions in the Nauvoo Legion for sexual favors. So for some time Smith was informed of the rumors that Bennett was sodomizing young Nauvoo Legionnaires who hoped for advancement in the city’s militia.  These rumors were of course reported back to a troubled Joseph Smith who pondered what to do with his former confidante. In particular the name mentioned the most was 21 year old Francis [Frank] Marion Higbee who was promoted to a colonel under Bennett’s command. The fact that Higbee rose so quickly within the ranks of the city’s militia, had tongues wagging and it was gossiped that he was commissioned a colonel for sexual favors given to Bennett.  Higbee may not have been the only young “Brethren” in Nauvoo hoping to advance in the militia by offering sexual favors to Bennett.  Brigham Young suggested that other men may have had sexual encounters with the major general when he stated, "one charge [against John Bennett] was seducing young women, and leading young men into difficulty—he admitted it—if he had let young men and women alone it would have been better for him." Joseph Smith was well aware of Frank Higbee and his family.  Higbee  came from a solid Mormon family. He was a son of Elias Higbee, an old Missouri Danite,  who had served as the official church historian and recorder. The young Frank Higbee was a veteran of the Missouri Mormon War of 1838. He was ambitious and intelligent but in Nauvoo Higbee was earning the reputation of living a dissipated life.  The young man was known to be “rakish” or having a slightly disreputable reputation. Informants reported that the young colonel was often seen in the company of John Bennett and accompanied the doctor to the only brothel in Nauvoo, where evidently Higbee had contracted a venereal disease from "a French woman” from Warsaw.  This affliction caused Higbee to need medical assistance upon discovering he was diseased. Higbee went to both Joseph Smith and John Bennett seeking a cure.  Bennett gave the young man medical treatment while Smith administered a priesthood blessing in order to heal Higbee’s condition but complained that “it was irksome” doing so. There was no proof of John C Bennett’s “homo-libertine” behavior until July 4^th, 1841 when Joseph Smith discovered Bennett in a compromising position with Frank Higbee.   On that date Smith called upon Bennett to inform him of the incriminating letter Smith had of his having deserted a wife in Ohio. Smith later claimed his intention in going to the residence was to administer another blessing to Higbee.  However, more than likely, the prophet deliberately sought out the pair after informants reported Bennett and Higbee being alone together. After appearing unexpectedly the prophet was shocked to find the General and the young Colonel in a compromising position.  “I was called on to visit Francis M. Higbee; I went and found him on a bed on the floor.” The reporter at this point wrote  [Here follows testimony which is too indelicate for the public eye or ear; and we would here remark, that so revolting, corrupt, and disgusting has been the conduct of most of this clique, that we feel to dread having anything to do with the publication of their trials; we will not however offend the public eye or ear with a repetition of the foulness of their crimes anymore.” What possibly could have been the offense, committed by Bennett that it could not be named? In nineteenth century parlance that meant the deed was so offensive that it could not even be described in print.   It is not unreasonable to assume that anal sex was the offense called too “revolting, corrupt, and disgusting” as later Bennett would be accused of “buggery,” which is simply another term for sodomy. The Mormon newspaper ‘‘Times and Seasons’’ had at various time accused John Bennett of a variety of loathsome offenses, including “seduction, adultery, attempted murder, prostitution, and abortion”. The “only charge that could have been worse… was sodomy.” Some historians refuse to believe that John Bennett committed sodomy in Nauvoo. Their logic is that since he was accused of seducing the “sisters” of Nauvoo, Bennett could not have been a homosexual.  Bennett was probably not a homosexual in the modern sense but rather polyamorous; open to a variety of sexual experiences. Smith was now in complete control of his former trusted confidante, having witnessed Bennett “in flagrante delicto”.  Smith then summoned a church council to hear Smith's accusations of immorality against the physician and the colonel. Bennett pleaded with Smith not to shame him in front of a church high counsel but Smith, having the upper hand, was determined to humble him. When Bennett could not dissuade Smith from bringing him before a tribunal, he attempted suicide by drinking poison.  It was a botched effort. Skeptics suggested that as a physician, Bennett knew exactly how to avoid a lethal dose of poison and probably the act was an extreme attempt to solicit sympathy. Still, "the public impression was that he was so much ashamed of his base and wicked conduct that he had recourse to the above deed to escape the censures of an indignant community." The drastic measure of taking poison is substantiation that the deed in which the mayor was caught with Higbee was so shocking and shameful to the customs and conventions of the nineteenth century, that if made public the dishonor and disgrace of it warranted suicide. “While fornication was frowned on, it was at least understood. For nineteenth century Americans—especially religious ones—homosexual behavior was beyond the pale.” John Bennett and the young colonel were brought before a church court for censure. Neither one denied the charges of immorality. Brigham Young noted how “downcast” both Higbee and Bennett were, with Young commenting, "When I came into the room, Frank Higbee rather recoiled and wished to withdraw; he went out and sat upon a pile of wood. He said it is all true, I am sorry for it, I wish it had never happened…."  Higbee's intense shame as recorded by Brigham Young gives added weight to the assurance that the doctor and he had been charged with committing sodomy. Another reason to believe that the July 1841 immorality trial of Bennett dealt with sodomy is that the disciplinary action against Bennett and Higbee are absent from official church records confirming that they were guilty of "a crime not fit to be named." Obviously the court proceedings were handled quietly and discreetly by Joseph Smith with only a few church leaders knowing of the event. This discretionary course of action is understandable only in the context that "the crime of buggery” was involved. Joseph Smith would not have dared made record of “accusations of sodomy against Bennett public for fear of destroying the reputations of other young men whom the mayor had seduced.” Even more damaging, if the trial was made public, is the reaction that Smith had put a “sodomite” in high positions within the church. Evidently, for Joseph Smith it was enough having Bennett exactly where he wanted him, submissive to his domination. After Bennett began publishing his tell all letters about what he called villainy in the City of Joseph, William Smith, Joseph Smith’s brother and editor of  The Wasp's  retaliated in comments published July 27, 1842. He wrote that Bennett only saw Joseph Smith as "a great philanthropist as long as Bennett could practice adultery, fornication, and - we were going to say Buggery, without being exposed.”  THE END Well there you have it LOL… John C Bennett, who Joseph Smith made 1^st Mayor of Nauvoo, Major General in the Nauvoo Legion, President of the Nauvoo University, and Assistant to the 1^st Presidency, was a very naughty boy despite what was recorded in Section 124 of the D & C. 16 Again, let my servant John C. Bennett help you in your labor in sending my word to the kings and people of the earth, and stand by you, even you my servant Joseph Smith, in the hour of affliction; and his reward shall not fail if he receive counsel. 17 And for his love he shall be great, for he shall be mine if he do this, saith the Lord. I have seen the work which he hath done, which I accept if he continue, and will crown him with blessings and great glory. Queer how the Prophet claimed the “LORD” had seen the work John C Bennett had done evidently as a wife deserter, abortionist, fornicator, adulterer and sodomite and still was going to bless him and give him great glory as long as he was useful. LOL. That’s something you won’t hear in Sunday School.  Well I better get this in the mail and I will put $50 on your account for the month.  As I ever was or ever shall be Your family Ben

 

4 May 2017 Thursday

Mowed the backyard, planted a Canada Red Chokecherry tree, and laid 4 bags of bark in the front yard around my rose bushes... I poured fish fertilizer into the dirt when I planted the tree and boy did my dogs love rolling around in that stinky stuff...Troy Hunter came over to work on my sprinklers and set up a system to water my pots up on the deck... So I am pooped from being out in the sun but I wore overalls and a tied dyed bandana because it was 80 degrees and sunny.... The tree will turn purple in the fall. Kent State Massacre may be just a blip for some but if you were in college at the time as I was it was devastating...I remember John Cunningham running in to where we worked and shouted they are shooting students in Ohio...Gov Reagan said he'd keep the Universities open at the point of bayonets when protestors demanded they be shut down...he back tracked and shut them down for a week...Cal State Fullerton had Open University where classes ran by students on topics as varied as draft resistance, feminist theory, pottery making, anti war politics... I attended many as my own college was closed... An abiding hatred of Nixon, Reagan, and all things Republican was born that day at the age of 19. Tin Soldiers and Nixon coming Four Dead in Ohio... The GOP in the House voted to replace the Affordable Care Act with Trumpcare…

 

5 May 2017 Friday

Well I better go mow the front yard ... its going to be up in the mid to high 80's today...

It's quitting time on the old plantation ... Mowed the front and side yards, cleaned out my garden beds and planted tomatoes, squash, pumpkin, and cantaloupe... It got too warm to do much else but heat will be good for the seeds... I hand watered everything but soon I will just let the sprinklers do the work. I guess in 3 weeks I will see what comes up... Planted a lot of red and blue corn too... Time to hang up the overalls and put farmer Ben aside ... My hands are a mess, mother always said you could tell a lady by her hands...I am pooped... Made a meat loaf, baked chicken thighs, carried 15 paving stones to place later in front yard and cleaned up around the fire pit as Troy Hunter worked on the sprinkler system... Who needs to go to the gym for a workout? If you didn't think Republicans were evil before consider this...They gave the mentally ill access to guns but not health care

·         Bill Poore when are you going to stop carrying stones, as long as I have known you, you seem to have been carrying stones from one area of your yard to another? 🤓

·         Edgar Ben Williams I am like ancient Sisyphus doomed by the gods to roll a rock uphill only to see it roll down

·         Terrie Williams you have to admit there’s a certain pleasure at being outdoors and sprucing up your scenery . not to mention the bonus of moving your body while you can. you go !

 

6 May 2017 Saturday

Buddy escaped from the yard when a gust of wind blew the gate open before I noticed it was open. I am heartsick... Buddy got out about 6 pm when the wind blew the gate open... It was only 15 minutes from the time I saw Buddy and realize the gate was open...Troy Hunter helped me search the entire neighborhood and no sign of him... I can't believe he went very far as old as he is.... But he's never been out before and probably doesn't know his way home...I've always been super careful with my pups and I am just beside myself thinking he's out there alone... I posted lost dog on the sites but being the weekend it won't be until Monday can I check the pounds... Hopefully someone is sheltering him... He's microchipped but no collar.... When I saw the gate open I immediately did a head count and at first when I didn't see Buddy I wasn't concerned thinking he was just sleeping but then panicked when he would not come when called.... Michael Romero came over about 8 pm and we went out looking again...I had walked Harliegh around hoping he would attract him... We drove until it was twilight....Buddy is an old dog and could not trekked far as he hated to walk... i use to try and walk him he'd jump up on me to stop it... Of all my dogs his leaving makes the least sense... I gave him treats but did not feed him when he went missing... Most of the time he sleeps so I am hopeful someone found him and took him in... I can't imagine him just wandering as he is old... I locked the screen door but sleeping with the door open in case he comes home.... I feel like I have failed taking care of him...

 

7 May 2017 Sunday

Buddy is home! A man just called me 15 minutes ago and said he had my dog... I jumped in the truck and sped over to just around the corner on 17th North mid way in the block...This Mexican family took him in off the street but didn't know what to do until one of the children saw the flier that we posted earlier...I tried to give them money for finding him but they wouldn't take it even when I insisted...they were just so happy Buddy found me... Thank you to all my wonderful friends who babysat me when I was an emotional wreck....Buddy is home safe and sound... This is what I wrote until he was found.  It was so very quiet here this morning with .no Buddy barking and demanding his morning treats which would get Harleigh riled up and he'd start his barking... No barking this morning even from Harleigh. TJ slept like glue next to my head and Harleigh slept most of the night curled up in the hall where he could see me. I was up several times hoping to see Buddy on the front porch.... I was certain that someone took him in to keep him safe...that was my hope and that is what happened. I had posted on KSL, Craigslist, Westpointe/ Rose Park neighbors app, and Utah's lost pets site...I can't look in the shelters until Monday... I dread thinking I will never know what happened to him... I appreciate people's concerns and best wishes... How a gust of wind can change everything ....Drove around this morning... Still no sign of Buddy...it's like he simply vanished....I see people walking their dogs and some on the loose but no Buddy .... Even drove up and down Redwood to see if he got hit... I had him since a puppy and hoped to care for him until time to put him down... Last I saw him he was playing in the yard with the bamboo curtail... He had a good day seeing Sophie and being outside... I gave him a treat but disappeared before I could feed him... I hope he is getting some food and water where ever he is... I hate not getting the chance to say goodbye... Bill Poore, T.J. Otaka, Jim McMullan, Greg Allen, and Joel Jay Vallar came over to put up posters and canvas the neighborhood and asked neighbors about Buddy. Put up a sign in the front yard So many folks dropping by concerned about Buddy... I was truly amazed and grateful... People just came up the stairs to see how we are doing the pups and me... Charles Bigo and Richard Harmston, Jesse Dolce and Darby S Hinton as well as the earlier ones... I am grateful for good friends... Glad I had a yogurt pie to share. Tomorrow I will call the shelters when they open... If I don't hear anything by Tuesday I will know he is gone... As old as he is but I won't give up hope until tomorrow...I will sleep better knowing all my pups are safe under one roof tonight...

 

8 May 2017 Monday

Happy sounds this morning Buddy and Harleigh barking at me to get up and feed them their morning treats... Never take happiness and contentment for granted...in a gust of wind it can disappear... Buddy was in his spot under the table this morning and now he's back in his closet bed. Life is good.  Went for a walk around the neighborhood this morning taking down the wanted posters my posse put up yesterday for Buddy... At noon went to lunch with Erick Myers who's visiting from Belgium. Richard Butler came over this afternoon to fix the latch so that nothing but human hands can ever open the gate again. Rich put a new super heavy duty spring on the latch ... Tighten all the screws and the latch mechanism. Fix the railing on the deck (boards were all loose) the canopy on the patio swing was fixed and removed all the old lattice I no longer needed.  He calls the yard Doggy Alcatraz now... No escaping now... I was suppose to attend a planning meeting for a Gay Pride March on June 11^th but sometimes you give something your best effort then call it quits... I was supposed to have attended a meeting in Midvale at 7 so I left the house at 6:15 ... It's started raining hard past 21st and there was an accident ahead so I got off on 45th thinking I'd just cut over to 7th east and go down to 6800 South that way but no 7th turns into Van Winkle Express lane and drivers coming up on my ass kept me from turning on 9th or 13th so I manage to back tract going west with the sun glare in my eyes from the wet pavement. I finally found 7th east but couldn't locate the condos that I was suppose to call to even be let in... Finally after 7 and hadn't eaten since noon I said screw it and went home... I am a 66 year old man and shouldn't have to have to hunt for a location... I am not attending any meeting south of 21st from now on...Midvale is a mess...

 

9 May 2017 Tuesday

Home from driving to South Jordan to buy a bike that Richard Butler found on KSL for me. Paid $50 for it...the man said it was from the 1970s and its in great condition. It’s a Murray Westport Model 1970. The Sprinkler system is done. Troy came over to adjust everything and get the timer going. I paid him another $700 so it was about $1600 to get it all done. Mowed my front yard but got too warm to be out side in the heat... Love my bike and rode around the block but nearly crashed into garage wall when I realized it didn't have hand brakes but have to back peddle to stop lol it will be good exercise as long as I don't kill myself. Buddy was in his spot under the table this morning and now he's back in his closet bed. Life is good.  Michael Romero took me down this evening to pick up my cruiser that they couldn't find out why the dash board lights intermittently come on. The pups we're happy to have Ruby Red home because took them for their 1st ride in a week. It's the only reason I bought the car to take the pups for rides...I stopped at Burger King and had a whopper for the 1st time in probably 10 years... Not missing anything for sure...worked a little in the back yard until 8:30 when the sun started going down... My Mexican primroses are blooming and will bloom all summer...Wow trump fired FBI Comey! Shades of Watergate! Dumb shit trump voters... Al Franken said “I am also deeply troubled by the fact that AG Jeff Sessions, who pledged to recluse himself from the Russia investigation because of his own Russia connections, involved himself in Director Comey’s firing. This is a complete betrayal of his commitment to the public that he wouldn’t be involved in the investigation.”  Jefferson Davis Sessions is a traitor. Sen Franken asks why would trump keep Mike Flynn in his administration for over two weeks after he knew he was compromised with the Russians

 

10 May 2017 Wednesday

It was another warm day and taking the pups over to Michael’s the air conditioner was not cooling even though I just put Freon in it less than a month ago. Maybe its time to get a new car. I cant have the pups in a warm car this summer. The day after firing the head of the FBI who was investigating trumps collusion with the Russians he is meeting today with Russia's foreign Minister!? Is he an idiot or a traitor?  Sally Yates an American hero for standing up again Ted Cruz and Cornyn assholes. This GOP that won’t investigate Trump is the same party of Asshats that defended Nixon...they attack the accusers instead of investigating... Trump says he fired Comey for attacks on Hillary? What kind of idiots does he take us for? Oh the ones who voted for this sack of crap

 

11 May 2016 Thursday

Developed a painful cold sore on my lip...must have come from the stress of last weekend when Buddy decided to go on his adventure... I need to take a deep breath and relax ... Starting to feel overwhelmed with projects that need to get done... Need to smell my roses and chill but my work ethic says no way...get your butt up and wash them dishes...Richard Butler spent 3 1/2 hours at the house this morning and afternoon mainly power washing my driveway and sidewalks removing dirt and weeds. He trimmed my front yard parking strip with the power hose giving it a manicured look. He also fixed my flag post on the house with lag screws so the wind won't rip it loose anymore... Last but not least he vacuumed yard debris up on the patio and helped me move the BBQ grill up on the deck... All that for a couple of homemade banana nut bread I whipped up this morning... I am exhausted watching Rich work...well I did fall off the front steps but luckily the rocks and rose bush broke my fall... Just a little sore and bruised... Nothing broken. Called Tree Etc. that Dan Fahndrich had used to cut down a tree in his back yard. They will come out next Wednesday for an estimation.

 

12 May 2017 Friday

The wind blew so hard and it was a warm wind making it kind of miserable today. It feels like a Santa Ana... Paid it forward from Rich Butler coming over yesterday and working on my place. I went over to Michael Romero's this morning to mow and weed. His grass hadn't been cut all year and it was knee high. He's not been well with kidney stones. So I loaded up the lawn mower and worked from 7:30 to 10 am tidying up the place before someone called the city on his weeds LOL Besides I didn't want people thinking Coco lived in a white trash neighborhood. I went to lunch with Bill Poore and he wanted clam chowder so we went to Scaddys and they were out of soup. We ate there anyways but that was a wasted trip in the truck as I had to drive all the way down Redwood road since 215 is a mess being torn up again. Since I don’t have air conditioning in the truck I  thought I'd be blown away. Bill had a bowl of chili which he didn’t care for and I had a hamburger. After he left I went to the Redwood Clinic to get some insulin. I was completely out so I had to buy some for $50 although in 10 days hopefully I wont need it anymore. Sunderland has a sale on 10 " hanging baskets for $5.99. I bought 3 and planted two orange daisies in pots on the front steps and one yellow petunias that I brought over to Michaels when I brought Coco home and planted it in his blue pot for him. He was surprised that his yard was all cleaned up. When I was planting my flowers the Jr High got out and about 25 kids where yelling and fighting each other all the way down the street. They were making such a racket that the police was called but they were long gone by the time the cops showed up... This hot devil's wind makes people loco.  I’m always so amazed when I hear Americans say shit like “Healthcare is a privilege, not a right.” Like how do you reach a point in your life where you think people deserve to die because they can’t afford healthcare. What in the actual fuck is wrong with them?

 

13 May 2017 Saturday

My mini I-pad died last night. I had it for at least 5 years. I really liked it but there was no way to save information on it to another computer... So my info saved on my Notes app are all gone including all my blood testing as well as any pictures I had which included pictures of all the pups I lost last year. There was some update that froze up it up... So will look for a new device that at least has a portal to save stuff. I will probably take it to an apple store and see what they can do also. Funny how things change when you are retired. One post is from May 13th 2015 before I retired and the other is May 13th 2016. The last one I probably could cut and paste even for today except TJ doesn't dig as much. However today I am just going to get caught up with my letter writing, my journal, and work some on my novel that I am at 21 chapters. Took my cousin Stephanie's advice and took my mini iPad down to Best Buys Geek Squad and they managed to open it up no charge and I bought an Insignia tablet with a detachable keyboard for $199... Michael Romero helped me set it up and transferred all my pictures over to it using iTunes... So I am back in the game... I guess the Musical Jesus Christ Superstar is being made as the next TV musical. The Album came out in 1971 just as the Jesus Freak Movement on the West Coast was in full mode... College kids disillusioned with the Vietnam War, Nixon, the hippie scene, and materialism was joining the Hare Krishna and Buddhism movements as well as the Children of God and Campus Crusade for Christ folks. Lots of Calvary Churches were formed then and the fish symbol took the place of the cross. I became a religion minor and took Old Testaments from a Rabbi, Early Christian history from a Greek Orthodox Monk and Mormon classes from the Institute of Religion. I joined the Mormons because the boys were cuter and all the Mormons I knew at the time were Gay... I memorized the entire album. I still sing try not to get worried try not to turn on to things that upset you to this day.

 

14 May 2015 Sunday Mother’s Day

All the women who shaped me and nurtured me are all gone this Mother's Day. My mother, my Grandma Johnson, my grandma Williams, Aunt Jerrie, Aunt Mattie Lee, Aunt Minnie, Aunt Bonnie, Aunt Marie, and Aunt Pauline... I miss them all. I am thankful for my two sisters and my cousins Frances Ann, Marilyn, Terrie, Stephanie, and Kay... I am the only boy cousin. Left on the Williams and Johnson sides.... so happy Mother's Day to my sisters and cousins. Home from a wonderful dinner with my friends T.J. Otaka and Jim McMullan out in Daybreak. I went with Alan Anderson because he hadn't been there before. Dinner was at 1:30 but we had a great time visiting that it was 6 before we left... The pups had a late supper at 7 so besides chicken thighs and canned food I gave some diced ham ... Hope everyone had a good Mothers Day. Is trump impeached yet? Been busy fulfilling a Gay history request this morning and baking banana bread... Please make it happen.

 

15 May 2015 Monday

Dear Kyle, I received your letter dated the 7^th of May on Saturday last. I know you must feel proud to come in third place in the 5 k race. Its nice I am sure to see results of your hard work. It will motivate you do keep up at it. I know you were happy to see the Paulsen’s even if they weren’t able to visit with you. I bet you were the only one that admitted to being agnostic but that there were plenty who were too reluctant to admit it. Last Saturday on the 6^th I had a scare, as that the wind blew the gate open and when I did a head count of all the pups, Buddy was missing! Looked all over the neighbor hood and even Michael came over to look but no sign of him. He is so old that I knew he couldn’t have gone far because it was only 15 minutes from the time I discovered the gate open and learned he was missing. I couldn’t understand why Buddy would wander off as that he always hated to go for walks. I was frantic and beside my self in worry about him afraid he was lost and confused where he was. I posted on all the social media for lost pets, even on KSL, Craig List, and the neighborhood watch.  On Sunday about ten of my friends came over to console me and look for Buddy. They had me make a sign for the front yard and run off posters with his picture and my phone number. We scoured the immediate neighborhood taping up the posters on telephone posts and lamp posts. I was prepared to go to all the shelters on Monday but about 7 pm I got a phone call from a family who said they had Buddy! I was so over joyed and relieved. He had gone over to 17^th North and he was picked up midblock.        I had always bragged that I had never lost a dog before as I was so paranoid careful about keeping them safe so this was my worse nightmare; but Buddy was found and brought home. It was the not knowing that made me distraught. Buddy could die tomorrow and I would not be as sad as him being lost. I wanted him home so when his time does come I can put his remains with Daisy and the rest. All my friends said he went on a Cinco de Mayo adventure since this sweet Mexican family found him. The posters were what brought him home so I am grateful for my friends putting them up.           After that nothing else seemed that important. My friend Rich Butler came over and fixed the latch on the gate and put a heavy duty spring on it so it will never just pop open again. I’ve been doing a lot of yard clean up now that I have a sprinkler system going again and planted a garden in the front and back yards. I am growing tomatoes, squash, corn, pumpkins, beets, cantaloupe, and cucumbers or at least am trying to. I am having a guy come out this Wednesday to give me an estimate at taking down one of the poplars between the fence and the hot tub that has completely died. Its about 50 feet tall and am afraid that as it rots it will fall on the fence or even into the neighbors yard. I also am going to have the dead cut out of the globe willows. It will be expensive. I bet around $1500 at least, but it needs to be done. At the end of April and 1^st of May I had concerns about the PT Cruiser. The dash lights would all come on intermittently and flash for about 15 seconds and then go back to normal. It never stalled the car or anything but it made me nervous hauling the dogs around like I do. It came on about ten times before taking it in to the shop where they had it for a week and it never came on the whole time they had it. I thought it had to be something electrical but they couldn’t find anything wrong. That was frustrating but I have had it back for a week and the dash board has never lit up again. Weird. But there must be a leak in some hose  because I just had the freon replaced in early April and its gone. So I am going to have them check all the hoses because if I keep the Cruiser I can’t have the dogs ride around in a hot car this summer. I’ve thought about getting a new vehicle but there’s nothing out there that is a hatch back that I like and fits the needs of what I want a vehicle for which is just to take the dogs for a ride. The cheapest used I’ve seen is around $10,000 and I can have the cruiser fixed for a lot less than that. Last year I had a new transmission and timing belt put in for about $4,000 and that’s the most expensive thing that could go wrong so hoping to keep it a few more years. The 22^nd I go in for my surgery. While its not life threatening it sure is a game changer  on how I will live the rest of my life. The benefits they say out weigh the negatives so here’s hoping for the best. My friend Bill Poore, who I’d take with me to Gunnison, health is really declining I’ve noticed. He’s nearly deaf which makes him more reclusive, and is winded over any exertion. He wants to take care of me during my recuperation at home but I worry more for his health. He’s only about 2 years older than me but lived a pretty hard typical New York Gay life… smoked, drank, did drugs, although he’s been in recovery for 30 years now.  I’ve never abused my body like that except having a multitude of sexual encounters and excessive eating. I guess everyone has vices. I took pretty good care of myself walking and riding a bike in my 30’s and being a school teacher in my 40’s I pretty much had to walk the straight and narrow LOL. Bill told me the other day he met this black kid at a barber shop here who said he had been at Gunnison and was recently paroled. He was in prison for domestic violence. He said he knew a Kyle in Gunnison but I am sure there is more than one Kyle down there.    Speaking of bikes, I bought myself a used bike for $50 which on eBay sells for $150. It’s a vintage Model 1970 Murray Westport that has fenders over the tires, a chain guard, and back pedals for brakes. It is in great condition and has a spring wide seat for my springy wide seat.  I think they were called Beach Cruisers back in the day. Seth Anderson published his pictorial history book called LGBT Salt Lake. I proofed  it for him. I think it’s a stupid title but politically correct I suppose. The book is pretty accurate with only one error which isn’t bad I suppose. I guess Seth is going for a PhD and so Michael Ferguson and he are selling their Queens’ Tea business that they were so involved in when I first met them. They found their niche in academia. Michael has been teaching at Cornell University for the past 2 years but I guess was hired at some university in North Carolina, I believe Duke, but could be wrong. What a cultural difference from going from upstate New York to North Carolina. I am ignorant at what is going on in the community except the little part I still engage in. Much of the community is run by Gay Inc of which I was never a part. I know the Grand Marshall Reception is now $75 to attend and if you go to all the Gay Pride Events its nearly $150 for the 3 days. No thank you. On June 11^th there’s a National Protest  for Gay Rights in Washington DC and there’s suppose to be local events in each state. One is being organized here on a grassroots level without Gay Inc. involved.  Older Gay men are suppose to wear white t-shirts to represent surviving the AIDS Holocaust of the 1980’s and 90’s. I was asked to speak for 3 to 5 minutes at the Rally. So I still get trotted out once in a while when they want some institutional memory. I sometimes feel like The Giver from Lois Lowey’s juvenile novel of the old man that holds are the community’s memories so individuals don’t have too. LOL.         Well I am still doing my history lecture series once a month and go to Gay Men Aloud but I am not sure how much longer that group will last. The leaders have no real charisma to keep people coming but they do the best they can I suppose.  I spend most of my time with yard work, keeping up the house, having dinner parties and writing my novel. I am up to 21 chapters so far. I’ve got my characters up to 1842 in Nauvoo but won’t finish it until circa 1862 so still have a ways to go. It’s written in the first person narrative of a female slave of Thomas S Williams whose daughter married Heber C Kimball’s son in SLC.  At least it keeps me busy.           I know that my energy is not what it used to be and I have to ration my time and energies on my own projects. The LGBT Business Council asked me for a 1 page highlight of Utah’s history. Ha! One page? Shows how ignorant they are of our history. So I ran this off for them and have not heard back from them. I guess my time has no meaning to them. I’ve done several projects for the Pride Center and others and never even get a thank you…Oh Well. This is what I sent.  

1969 Utah’s Gay Liberation Front was formed by Gay and  Lesbian counter culture activists Ralph Place and Pam Mayne.

1972 Rev. Troy Perry’s Metropolitan Community Church first established in Utah.

1973 Joe Redburn’s Sun Tavern was the first openly Gay bar in Utah

1974 The first Gay Freedom Day was held which decades later became known as Pride Day

1975 The first Gay Community Center was organized.

1976 A chapter of the Imperial Court systems established in Salt Lake City later became Royal Court of the Golden Spike Empire.

·         Women Aware formed as the first Lesbian feminist organization in Utah

1977 The first Gay Student Union formed at the University of Utah in 1978 changed name to Lesbian and Gay Student Union now Queer Student Union. First organization to adopt the term Lesbian as part of the Women’s separatist movement in Utah

·         Affirmation: Gay and Lesbian Mormons, the oldest surviving formal organization of GLBT Mormons in the world was founded in SLC.

·         The first community Gay protest was organized against anti- Gay rights activist Anita Bryant at the State Fairgrounds

1978- The Advocate published an abridged version of the Payne Papers, an anonymous rebuttal to the LDS position on homosexuality. The Payne Papers were printed later as Prologue and published by the SLC Gay paper The Open Door. 

·         1978 A series of murders of Gay men in SLC including Tony Adams stymies activism. Came on the heels of the assassination of Harvey Milk in San Francisco

1979 Gay man Stephen Holbrook founds KRCL with programming dedicated to Gay content. Concerning Gays and Lesbians a program produced by Becky Moss one of the longest locally produce LGBT program in the nation.

1981 A Lesbian Collective, bookstore, and coffeehouse was created called 20 Jacob Rue.

·         The 1^st Gay protest march was organized by “Friends of Ethyl” to march in downtown SLC

1982 The Equal Rights Amendment defeated primarily through the political lobbying of a coalition between the Mormon Church and Bible Fundamentalists

·         The Salt Lake Men’s Chorus was founded by Bruce Bayles.

1983 The Utah Health Department’s Bureau of Epidemiology began to keep track of HIV infection and deaths from AIDS. Michael Painter was first known fatality of AIDS in Utah

1984 Mason Rankin and Don Warner formed the first Human Rights Campaign Utah Chapter.  Michael Aaron, was first openly Gay delegate to the Salt Lake County and Utah state Democratic conventions. David K. Nelson was the city’s 1st Gay liaison to the SLC Mayor.

·         Beau Chaine  and Auntie De were Co-directors of the Gay Community Service Center and Clinic, 2^nd attempt at a community center

1985 Patty Reagan Ph.D. Associate Professor of Health Education at the University of Utah created the Salt Lake AIDS Foundation.  Duane Dawson RN and Lynn Koshimi incorporated the Utah AIDS Project. The Royal Court Sponsored firsts AIDS Awareness Week. 23 cases of AIDS, 12 of them fatal reported in Utah deaths included 2 children.

1986 Dr. Kristen Ries an infectious disease specialist told members of the Rotary Club of Salt Lake that 40 cases reported in Utah represent only a fraction of potential cases.

·         The Gay and Lesbian Community Council of Utah formed to unite and organize in face of the AIDS crisis.

1987 Mayor orders all of Salt Lake City’s bathhouses closed

·         Approximately 30 Gay and Lesbian activists went to the March on Washington from Utah’s Community to protest the Supreme Court upholding the sodomy laws of the United States.

1988 Utah Gay Youth Group, Gay Fathers, 1^st Thursday Women’s Group, Utah Valley Nonheterosexual Men’s groups and Beyond Stonewall, were  formed.

·         Utah AIDS Commemorative Quilt Project incorporated as a non-profit organization

·         The 1^st National Coming Out Day held in Salt Lake City

·         Local AIDS activist David Sharpton addressed the 7,000-member U.S. Conference of Mayors on behalf of the National Association of People With  AIDS.

1989 Nearly 9,000 panels of the Names Project Quilt, were displayed at the Salt Palace  in Salt Lake City Wednesday.

·         Desert and Mountain States Conference held in Salt Lake City

·         Salt Lake City Councilman Tom Godfrey first politician to speak at a Utah Gay Pride Day event.

·         The National Organization of Women’s national conference held in Salt Lake City

1990 David K Nelson and Dale Sorensen form the Gay and Lesbian Utah Democrats

1991 Queer Nation Utah was formed to promote Gay and Lesbian visibility

·         The Utah Stonewall Center opened it’s doors as a project of the Gay and Lesbian Community Council.

1992 Utah Democrats adopt an anti-discrimination plank for Gay, Lesbians, and Bisexuals. The Gay and Lesbian Alliance of the Utah State University entered the first Gay theme float to appear in a parade in Utah.

1994 The Pillar was first community paper to include Bisexual as added to Gay and Lesbian.

1995 East High Student Kelli Peterson and teacher Camille Lee form the first Gay Straight Alliance Club for high school students which resulted in the ban of all student clubs.

1997 Lesbian Kathy Worthington was granted unpaid leave from the US Post Office to care for partner Sara Hamblin under the Federal Family Leave Act.

·         The Gay, Lesbian, Straight Education Network [GLSEN] held its first national conference in SLC.

1998 Teacher Wendy Weaver won her suit against a school district for firing her because she was a lesbian. Safe guarded the status of all GLBT teachers.

·         Lesbian Jackie Biskupski elected to the Utah House of Representatives

1999 The Gay and Lesbian Community Center of Utah replaced the Utah Stonewall Center, later becomes known at the Pride Center.

2001 James Dabakis formed Equality Utah as a PAC

2002 Dominique Storni formed Transgender Education and Awareness Month and helped promote the visibility of Transgender people in Utah.

2004 Amendment 3 becomes part of Utah’s constitution banning same sex marriages despite the GLBT Don’t Amend Alliance campaign.

2005 Scott McCoy becomes first Gay man to serve in the Utah Senate.

2006 Jennifer Lee Jackson was the 1^st transgender person to run in a primary election in Utah

·         Lesbian Christine Johnson was elected to the house of Representatives

2009 Equality Utah proposed the Common Ground Initiative which was defeated by the Utah State Legislature.

·         The oldest Gay Bar in Utah, the Radio City Lounge closed after 61 years.

2010 Stan Penfold, director of the Utah AIDS Foundation became the first Gay man to be elected to the Salt Lake City Council

2012 James Dabakis was appointed state senator

2013 Federal Judge Robert Shelby made Utah the 18^th state with marriage equality in the Kitchen Vs Herbert lawsuit.

2015 The Utah State legislature passed a nondiscrimination bill that included sexual orientation and gender identity.

2016 Jackie Biskupski became mayor of Salt Lake City the second woman to hold that office.

·         Portions of Ninth South was renamed Harvey Milk Boulevard.

·         Misty Snow, a transgender person won the State Democratic nominee for Senator

Well enough of that In the new the SLTribune reported that Utah is one of only two states not complying with federal prison-rape guidelines according to the Department of Justice. The DOJ said Utah and Arkansas are the only two states that won’t comply with the Prison Rape Elimination Act, the federal guidelines meant to prevent prison rape. Confederate Atty Gen. Jeff Sessions owns investments in the private prison system and has rescinded maximum penalties for low level drug offenses. Immigrant detention under Sessions is now the fastest-growing form of incarceration in the US. Guess who is going to profit off of this? The man who shot and killed a Gay man near Oxbow Park was found and arrested.  You may be seeing him eventually down in Gunnison.       Well the noose is getting tighter around trump’s neck after the firing of FBI Director and the next day meeting with the Russians but the Republicans will have to be forced to kick the chair out from under his feet because he’s the stooge that will sign all their anti-safety net bills.  Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer demanded that the trump administration provide a transcript of the president’s conversation with the Russian ambassador in order to determine whether trump divulged classified information but he will get it over Mitch McConnell’s dead body. I am not sure why he they need it after trump confessed to obstruction of justice on TV and giving the Russians classified intel. All the White House staffers were falling all over themselves to say that the Washington Post Story was false but within 24 hours trump threw them all under the bus and said that as President he had the right to give classified information to the Russians. From Alexandria Masiak:"This is why POTUS hates NT Times, Time Magazine and other News Media. Here are the facts why Trump wants to lift the sanctions on Russia and Opposes the Iran Nuclear Deal to Benefit Putin, The Russian Military and Himself:

1) Trump owes Blackstone/ Bayrock group $560 million dollars (one of his largest debtors and the primary reason he won't reveal his tax returns).

2) Blackstone is owned wholly by Russian billionaires, who owe their position to Putin and have made billions from their work with the Russian government.

3) Other companies that have borrowed from Blackstone have claimed that owing money to them is like owing to the Russian mob and while you owe them, they own you for many favors.

4) The Russian economy is badly faltering under the weight of its over-dependence on raw materials which as you know have plummeted in the last 2 years leaving the Russian economy scrambling to pay its debts.

5) Russia has an impetus to influence our election to ensure the per barrel oil prices are above $65 ( they are currently hovering around $50).

6) Russia can't affordably get at 80% of its oil reserves and reduce its per barrel cost to compete with America at $45 or Saudi Arabia at $39. With Iranian sanctions being lifted Russia will find another inexpensive competitor increasing production and pushing Russia further down the list of suppliers. As for Iranian sanctions, the 6 countries lifting them allowing Iran to collect on the billions it is owed for pumping oil but not being paid for it. These billions Iran can only get if the Iranian nuclear deal is signed. Trump spoke of ending the deals which would cause oil sales sanctions to be reimposed, which would make Russian oil more competitive.

7) Rex Tillerson (Trump's pick for Secretary of State) is the head of ExxonMobil, which is in possession of patented technology that could help Putin extract 45% more oil at a significant cost savings to Russia, helping Putin put money in the Russian coffers to help reconstitute its military and finally afford to mass produce the new and improved systems that it had invented before the Russian economy had slowed so much.

8) Putin cannot get access to these new cost saving technologies OR outside oil field development money, due to US sanctions on Russia, because of its involvement in Ukrainian civil war.

9) Look for Trump to end sanctions on Russia and to back out of the Iranian nuclear deal, to help Russia rebuild its economy, strengthen Putin and make Tillerson and Trump even richer, thus allowing Trump to satisfy his creditors at Blackstone.

10) With Trump's fabricated hatred of NATO and the U.N., the Russian military reconstituted, the threat to the Baltic states is real. Russia retaking their access to the Baltic Sea from Lithuania, Latvia and Estonia and threatening the shipping of millions of cubic feet of natural gas to lower Europe from Scandinavia, allowing Russia to make a good case for its oil and gas being piped into eastern Europe. Sources: Time Magazine, NY Times, The Atlantic, The Guardian UK.

I don’t know who wrote this but I totally agree. “It’s time to stop calling him “president,” because a president he is not. A president tasks himself or herself with leading an entire nation, undivided ― and this man chooses instead to villainize huge swathes of it.  You no longer have to call him president because that’s just what his title or our constitution says he is ― but he’s just the con man who used one to get the other, and believes in neither. He’s not your president because he’s using the office as a means to his end, instead of a means to yours. You don’t have to do it, because he didn’t just break every promise he made to the American people broadly, he’s honoring secret promises he made to other people. The presidency is the highest position in our land, and he thinks that means it is simply our most powerful ― not our most sacred. You don’t have to call him president when his appointments to positions of power are his closest family members, not the candidates who are most capable. You don’t have to call him president if he took your child’s special needs education, or your daughter’s right to choose, or your health care, or the jeopardy of our shared planet’s health. Simply put: You don’t have to call him president because he took these, too. He isn’t Nixon and he isn’t Hitler (not going there!), but he absolutely thinks he can hijack history. That makes him a villain, and the most special breed of villain: The psycho kind! And yes, I mean that medically: he is delusional, creates his own realities, and appears utterly untethered from truth. The dude still sees himself in a boardroom ― an oval one ― and he’s just crazy enough to think a country can be bought low and sold high, as if this was any other investment in his portfolio. He forgot this country was around long before him, and will be around long after him, especially after he has been bold enough to teach us this very valuable lesson. Well enough of that.  Your  friend Ben.

 

16 May 2017 Tuesday

We are all being lazy on this gloomy morning. Rich Butler would be proud of me for cleaning out my tool shed... Took everything out ...blew all the leaves out and swept down the cobwebs... I moved this huge shelf Rich made for me 20 years ago into it organized everything ... Took me about 2 hours and had to quit when the sun went down... I have like a hardware stores of bolts, lug screws, deck screws, washers, and an assortment of nails...ugh too butch. The Washington Post wrote Trump appeared to acknowledge that he revealed highly classified information to Russia. Anyone noticing that all the crimes conservative assholes accused Mrs. Clinton of doing, trump is actually doing... God hates a hypocrite

 

17 May 2017 Wednesday

I didn't get any snow like parts of the valley did, just rain. I think my tomatoes survived and not much down from the wind, just branches and twigs. So much for the rule of thumb that its safe to plant after Mother's Day. Snow pellets fell here but turned to rain and broke in time for my tree guy to come over to give me an estimate of taking down a 50 foot dead poplar and trim way back two globe willows... He gave me an estimate of $1000 but I am willing to pay $1500. Won't get to it until the end of June when all by doggy baby sitting will be done. A Russian state-owned bank under US sanctions, whose CEO met with trump's son-in-law in December, helped financed the construction of the president's 65-story trump International Hotel and Tower in Toronto, according to a new report.....

 

18 May 2017 Thursday

Trump said no politician in history has been treated worse than he... I suspect this reflects more on his ignorance of history than any truth... A bit paranoid with delusions of grandeur. Hillary Clinton comes to mind as a politician treated far worse. Sex predator and Fox Mogul Roger Ailes is dead... Boo hoo...

 

19 May 2017 Friday

Roses from my 20 year old rose bush, Arizona Sunset, is in full bloom and the fragrance is so aromatic... Got my insurance go ahead for surgery on Monday need to call in the afternoon for the time. I am on a liquid protein diet now for preparation and am cleaning out my refrigerator and larder saying goodbye to my comfort foods... Surgery scheduled between 11:30 and 12:30 on Monday... Well that's that

 

20 May 2017 Saturday

I am so hungry... Yesterday just water, broth, jello, and protein drinks...gave three grocery bags away to Michael of food stuff I won't have for two weeks... Waaah. I had a fun evening with my posse for dinner and a movie night. I fixed a Mexican dinner of Cheese Enchiladas, Spanish Rice, and Refried Beans, and a yogurt pie...Bill Poore brought over a Marie Callendar Banana Cream Pie. Kent Scadlock brought theater treats for the movie. Dennis J. Lee brought wine. Alan Anderson brought chips and Mexican beer. Charles Bigo brought home made cinnamon rolls and they smelled delicious... So we all feasted ... Well actually I had only my green jello and water...lol. After dinner Bill left but the rest of us watched Stonewall the 2015 movie to get ready for Pride Day. I sent everyone home with left overs... For those who wanted my home made enchiladas sauce recipe... It makes enough for a dozen enchiladas... Tip soften your corn tortillas in hot oil and then let cool before stuffing them and rolling... Pour gravy over the tops and bake 25 minutes or more ... I know T.J. Otaka wanted the recipe

Enchilada Chili Gravy:

I add all the dry then add oil then broth and micro wave until thickens ... About 4 to 5 min.

1/4 cup vegetable oil

1/4 cup all-purpose flour

1 teaspoon white pepper (or black)

1 teaspoon kosher salt

2 teaspoons ground cumin

2 tablespoons chili powder

1 teaspoon paprika

1 teaspoon dried oregano

1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper optional

2 cups beef stock

 

21 May 2017 Sunday

Lulu Belle is up on my shoulders and pillow while in bed guarding me from a squirrel that has the audacity to eat breakfast outside my bedroom. How lucky am I to watch a little squirrel feed on the peanuts and sunflowers I leave out for him and the birds every morning...I watched a little drama as a magpie tried to get in on the action but Mr. fuzzy Butt would have none of it...the light is low outside because it's starting to rain...Mr. Fussy Butt took off leaving it for a little red head and breasted bird... Don't know what kind but she is pretty....life on the Wasatch Front in my little Rocky Mountain home. I went grocery shopping for a lot of drinks and soft foods for after my surgery. This is my life for at least two weeks ... Looks like a feast after nothing but liquids for 3 days... Cooking up tons of chicken today to later chop up and freeze for the pups supper .... So let it rain. There's a lot I have to do for tomorrow. Got all my laundry done, got all the pups’ chicken cooked and diced. I stripped and put new sheets on the upstairs bed, brought all my stuff to the down stairs bedroom, got my bag packed and bought food for the squirrels and treats for the pups and now to relax and eat my jello. Thanks to all my friends and family sending me best wishes and offers of assistance if I need it.... My last night with a whole stomach... Gross...

 

22 May 2017 Monday

Woke up from a dream that I had brought hot dogs and jello for all my students because they were hungry lol...so I got up and finished straightening the house. I hate to come home to a messy house...fed the dogs their treats... They act like something is up because they are sticking to me like glue...All my bags are packed I'm ready to go as Peter Paul and Mary would say. Kent Scadlock picked me up at 9 am  and then over to his sons place so he could take the car later. My check in was at 10 am and Kent stayed with me the whole time until I was wheeled into surgery about noon. I don’t remember a thing until I woke in the recovery room where I had difficulty taking breaths as that my diaphragm had been pushed around for my Hiatal Hernia that was repaired as well. They surgery I was told only took about 3 hours but I was in the recovery room for nearly 5 hours. Poor Kent stayed the entire time about 9 hours from start to finish bless his heart. He text my friends how I was doing. In the recovery room I was next to a convict that had guards and was in shackles. I wonder what he was in for? Eventually I was wheeled to a room and hooked up to saline solution drip and had these pulsating wraps around my ankles I guess to keep from having blood clots.  My oxygen was low abut 87 when it should have been above 90 and my blood sugars was in the 290’s!  All night long about every hour a nurse came in to check my vitals and I was being pumped full of saline about 2 liters every hour so I was constantly needing to pee all night in these not so effective urinals. It was misery. For pain I was on a Tylenol syrup and I had oxycodone but I only took one that night. Greg and Jay came up to see me when I was first wheeled to my room. 

 

23 May 2017 Tuesday

I'm alive .... wired up for sound worse that computer cables and cords... I am weak as a kitten with no abdominal strength and just a thimble full of food...Doctor Volckmann came in said everything is looking good and I may be released tomorrow at noon...lots of visitors, Richard P. Butler, Richard Harmston, and George Bigo who brought miniature roses I can plant later, Kent McKay Scadlock and Dennis J. Lee came with a nice get well card from Carol Gnade. Later T.J. Otaka and Jim came by as they were on the way to dinner and a show... nice that people came by for sure... only had one bout of pain where I had to take an oxycodone so that’s good.

·         Bill Poore-House of the Barking Dogs update: I am with the pups, it is a total surrealistic experience....Kent was in charge of Ben and I am in charge of TJ, Lulu, Max, Harley and Buddy. When Ben comes home it will be my job to keep the dogs off him, and be the caregiver for Ben. I might very well start drinking and drugging again. TJ and Lu Lu are scary they are so smart. Ben come home Ben. Coco will arrive at 630 AM (the other dog Ben watches during the week). She runs through the house jumps on Bens bed and starts fighting with Lu Lu and TJ.....I have coffee ready to go in the pot.

·         Stephanie Williams Good morning Ben. This day is the worst it will get. Each day will become easier and easier. Please try your best to keep hydrated, I know that will be hard. I got dehydrated after I got off IV fluids when I went home and had to go back to emergency because of it. But sip slowly. Thinking of you and I know what it is like, I still stand by my words, a year from now you will say, why did I wait so long to do this. Here's to a slimmer, more healthy Ben. Love you cousin.He isn’t Nixon and he isn’t Hitler (not going there!), but he absolutely thinks he can hijack history. That makes him a villain, and the most special breed of villain: The psycho kind! And yes, I mean that medically: he is delusional, creates his own realities, and appears utterly untethered from truth. The dude still sees himself in a boardroom ― an oval one ― and he’s just crazy enough to think a country can be bought low and sold high, as if this was any other investment in his portfolio. He forgot this country was around long before him, and will be around long after him, especially after he has been bold enough to teach us this very valuable lesson.

 

24 May 2017 Wednesday

I haven’t passed gas since before the surgery as the anesthesia also affected the bowels for a while and it became so painful that I asked for a pain pill. Eventually I was able to toot some and no one knows how good it is to fart until you can’t.  For lunch I had Turkey paste and asparagus soup for dinner... bon Appetites. I was suppose to be released about 12:30 but with all the paper work I didn’t come home until about 3:30 pm. Kent wrote to my FB friends Hello to Ben's Friends! I dropped Ben off at home about thirty minutes ago and ordered him to get some much needed rest. Ben is doing great and is in good spirits. His dear friend Bill will be staying with him for the next few days. Thanks everyone for your kind words and concerns!!” I am doing well ... dogs are all happy to see me... I just hope Bill looking after me doesn't kill him... Ready for bed though ... My meds were $490 at Smiths but they were one time things and not an on going thing. The most expensive was pills to keep me from having gall stones as I recover. Medicare wouldn’t paid for them and they were 400 dollars alone because they were made from the bile of bears.  I have an Oxygen machine for awhile Medicare won't cover so that's another big expense... Only going to get worse if Republicans get theirs way ...

·         T.J. Otaka Don't worry about politics now. Glad you are home safe with your pups. Just listen to your Jewish mother (Bill) and get well soon.

·         Tracy L Johnson-Faulkner Glad that you are doing well.

·         Stephanie Williams Good to be home.

·         Benjamin Atticus West Glad you're home, though

·         Bill Poore NO I will be fine, had not eaten anything and blood sugar was wacked when you got home....I am fine now that I ate and am resting. it was long day with dog and you coming home, they went crazy. We really should blame it on that late oxygen guy delivering so late you could not go to bed.....but he was well worth the wait. He looked like one of the cast members out of those old porn movies...

·         Terrie Williams glad you're looking over things. You're a god story teller and a good egg!

·         Michael Christensen-Frame Glad you are home. BLESSINGS. ! !

·         Robert Smith glad your home.

·         Luci Malin Rest and take it slowly

·         Roland Ron Holmgren Welcome home. Rest, relax and recover.

·         Chuck Whyte So very glad you are safely home , you are indeed blessed to have friends that can help you with getting better.........do what the doctors and friends say or i shall bring nurse ratchet over for a visit......so glad that you did something for your betterment....it has been your turn for way to long......

·         Laurie Epperson Oh good to hear.

·         Troy Hunter I bet your pups were happy to see you. Glad your home. Now for a speedy recovery.

·         Teinamarrie Scuderi Glad you're doing well. Do you need anything?

 

25 May 2017 Thursday

No better Heath care providers that Candy Strippers TJ, Lulu Belle and Buddy... I slept nearly 12 hours with Cpap and oxygen... I should since Medicare won't pay for the oxygen and that's nearly $400 a month but I probably will only need it for a few months...because SLC is 4500 feet up in the air they worry patients don't get enough oxygen after surgery... Last night about 4:30 am I heard Harleigh barking outside... I got up to see what was the matter and tree branches had blown down across the steps and he couldn't get back up into the house... So rescued him by moving what I could for a path... Poor old boy has hard enough time coming up as it is...Nurse Ratchet (Bill Poore) has been good as gold putting all my medicine in pill boxes and making sure I take some in Apple sauce... Dogs have been good but have to sleep with a pillow across my stomach because TJ has to be as close as he can to me... I am feeling pretty well not too much pain and Tylenol takes care of that. I am on the mend for those concerned...Buddy hasn't left my bed all morning... I bet he missed me as much as I missed him when he took off...TJ feels safe and snug by my side and Lulu Belle gives me up to date accounts on the squirrel army .... She's my guard dog... Harleigh is sleeping traumatized from being trapped out side by the fallen branches this morning...Maxx is guarding the front yard looking out the bay window .... so all are safe from the Barbarians at the Gate.

Even the pups won't eat my baby food lol... Had some chicken broth Bill Poore made for me, some cherry jello, and V8 juice... been drinking Costco Premium Protein Shakes, water, and Gatorade...not that I am hungry... Bill is taking such good care of me and the dogs...

·         T.J. Otaka You and your pups are in good hands.

·         Chuck Whyte Ben , it will all be worth it ,when your buff body appears and you are in a medium size , or what ever your date is wearing , I truly admire that you are willing to do what is necessary to have a healthier body

·         Cole Gilmore I had a surgery that required a liquid diet for quite a while. I found what I really was missing was the chewing of something that needed it. I found that I could chew up crackers and spit them out (not very handsome an act) and I was totally satisfied.

·         Edgar Ben Williams I chew on my jello yum... Actually I am not very hungry and since my stomach is now the size of an egg I fill up pretty fast... Next week I will be able to eat cottage cheese, oatmeal, scrambled eggs...more semi solids...then later anything in small amounts...

·         Cole Gilmore Yup. I was right there with you. I had a similar surgery.

 

26 May 2017 Friday

With all that has been going on with me I failed to acknowledge that it's been 10 years on the 13th of May that John Cunningham, my first love died of suicide...I've out lived him now 10 years but in my mind we will always be Seniors in high school and freshmen in college with the whole world before us that summer of 1969... A different time for sure when middle class white boys from Orange County weren't allowed to fall in love...except secretly...I am needing some help with mowing my front and back yard while I am recovering do I asked on Facebook... “Does anyone know some one who will come over and help me and leaf blow the leaf trash off my deck from last Wednesday storm? It would be only about 1 and half hours of yard work and I can pay” I mowed before going into surgery so it's not bad but sometime next week it will get bad ... I have an electric lawnmower... Just don't want it to get too messy... I had so many people respond  which I so appreciate because I hate to ask for help. Alan Anderson and Kevin Scott dropped by this evening about 5 pm...I had nothing in the house to offer them but baby food... They politely declined... We had a nice visit with Kyle G. Daniels at his high school’s graduation... This is the last class that will graduate having been born in the 20^th Century. Glad I am not having Goodbye Mr. Chip moments anymore... Bill Poore has been such a good care taker but mainly grateful to have someone here while I get back up on my feet... Doing pretty well I think for a 66 year old man... I had Campbell Tomato soup for supper... So good...

·         Kevin Scott Can you do ice cream?

·         Edgar Ben Williams No .... Sugar causes a condition called dumping... Don't ask ha!

·         Kevin Scott Oy... the ONE THING I'm dying to bring (behind my husband's prying eyes). For some reason he objects to me eating entire cartons of it, lol.

·         Greg Tracie Aviary Hardin Amy Barry, When are we going to visit Ben and have baby food for dinner...I'm sure we can find "organic!"

·         Susan Passino You are such a lovely soul from everything I've learned from you here on Facebook. Let your friends gather for you, Edgar Ben Williams! You have given so much to others. You are a wonderful example of who we are being queer - caring and being present when others walk away. I love you from a distance and pray for a speedy and solid recovery & the wish that all of your friends will take care of you and feed you!

·         Laurie Epperson Glad to hear things are going good. Yay

 

27 May 2017 Saturday

Bill Poore went home today after spending a week here taking care of the dogs and me. First we went to Smith’s to pick up groceries and things I might need when I am here on my own. Bill Poore tottered off back home in his perv van about noon...I know he's super tired... He made my recoup so much easier for me...lulu belle slept with him all night... I sent him home with a roast in a crock pot so he'd not have to think about supper...so everyone is zoned out from having company... And I am alright...no need to worry about me...I went out into the front yard this afternoon so I am getting out and about. Bill Poore kept my potted flowers on the door steps watered... In the back yard I noticed that pumpkins and cantaloupe I planted from seed are sprouting... God created a garden before he created man .... There's a connection to life seeing things grow and renew it self... Farming is in my DNA I suppose. Walked around my front yard wanted to enjoy the blooms before they fade away...everything has overgrown in just a week! I need to get a hoe out and chop down some of the milkweeds...the storm from last Wednesday trashed my yard with litter. My day lilies and Russian Sage hasn't popped yet nor my Empress of India Clematis but a regular one by the gate and my honey suckles are blooming... My Mexican Primrose is spreading nicely and will bloom almost all summer...they look like weeds until they pop. Some people don't like Yarrow but I love it in full bright yellow...as summer lingers on the flowers turn a brownish color. Some of my late Irises are also in full bloom.... I love the purple ones. My oriental poppies are in full bloom one of my favorites with its black center. Bessie Larsen from Magna when she was in her 90s 20 years ago gave me this rare corpse plant...it blooms once and then dies...when it opens it has a deep purplish black flower... It smell like rotting meat to attract insects which it feeds on.  I got two VIP tickets to Pride Day in the mail today. Ricky Best, 53, and Taliesin Namkai-Meche, 23 were killed in Portland when they tried to stop a white man terrorist hurling abuse at two Muslim  teenagers. Trump hasn’t mentioned a word about it. I wrote on FB I was bored. These are my responses.

·         Daniel Cureton You, bored???

·         T.J. Otaka It must be a good sign that you are feeling well.

·         Richard P. Butler Beautiful evening go outside and enjoy it.

·         Edgar Ben Williams I'm not that bored

·         Richard P. Butler Still a great evening. Enjoy your dogs on the deck.

·         Jon Michael It's the worst part of recovery! Being bored. Not sick enough to be miserable, not well enough to do anything.

·         Paul Watrous Binge watch something on Netflix. I suggest Shameless

·         Jon Michael Great idea! I just finished "The Keeper's" excellent seven part docu-series about a nuns death and resulting cover-up in Baltimore.

·         Jesse Dolce When bored, might be a sign of a boring person. Make a bucket list.

·         Edgar Ben Williams Or a sign of tired of being in bed after surgery 😇

·         Dan Fahndrich I like the idea of the bucket list Ben..... What are the things you want to do before your bucket gets a hole in it ?

·         Edgar Ben Williams There's a hole in the bucket, dear Liza, dear Liza

·         Bill Poore It is called transitioning from surgery and having a lot people around to now the healing process until you can do anything you want again. You have friends coming over today don’t you. I will stop by tomorrow, let me know what you need or we can go to the store together.

 

28 May 2017 Sunday

There's a difference between convalescing and being an invalid...I think I am in the middle right now lol. Moving kind of slow like Uncle Joe... At the Junction...Petticoat Junction... Some will get this.  Reading David McCallough's John Adams because bored with television and I can't sit for long periods yet to continue writing... If I had flour in the house I'd be baking to be doing something... So instead I will recline in my lazy boy with TJ in my lap and Lulu Belle by my side and drink my green tea...I had a delightful visit with Joel Jay Vallar, Greg Allen, T.J. Otaka, and Jim McMullen this afternoon. We just chatted like magpies for a couple of hours. I have good sterling people in my life... TJ brought treats for the hounds which they never turn down lol... Sweet Jay swept up my veranda for me... TJ and Jim came with work clothes to work in the yard but I said just sit a spell because company was the kind of tonic I needed. Found a good home for my steel wok I had for 10 years or more which I even had a cover for it by sending it home with TJ.... The days of cooking in a big wok is over for me... Chinese Food does sound kind of yummy ... Perhaps egg drop soup next week... As a child and adolescent I read a lot of Archie Comics so when I heard that Riverdale is a TV series with all the characters based on the comic I started binge watching...I really enjoy the series but Archie, Betty, Veronica, and Jughead sure have changed... Under the Democrats, NRA meant a chicken in every pot for Americans ....under the Republicans it means every nutcase has a right to a gun... Don't tell me there's no difference between the Parties and fuck the Green Party, Libertarians, and Independents... If you are too young NRA once meant the National Recovery Act or Administration... Where is the FDR for this generation?

·         T.J. Otaka Great to see you feeling better. It was fun. We followed your advice to leave the yardwork to your younger friends who will visit you tomorrow 😉 Thank you for the wok. I will cook some Asian food for you once you are able to eat regular food. Take good care now.

 

29 May 2017 Monday Memorial Day

I got up early this morning and drove to Smith’s to get some soup and flour. I felt like baking today. I was embarrassed not having anything to offer people when they came to visit so I made Banana Nut Bread... I made one without nuts that I frosted with brandy icing. Seemed strange not to be tasting but I put my skills on auto pilot and just bake by rote... I was bored....Bill Poore came over this morning to return my crockpot and I sent him home with a can of spam... He didn't want any banana bread... Said he's being good... He took my trash out...it's the little things that counts. Everyone is posting on FB the delicious meals they are having.... So here's mine...basil tomato soup... My second batch of banana nut bread came out looking good...I had a splendiferous afternoon with Charles Bigo, Richard Harmston, Greg Tracie Aviary Hardin, and Amy Barry coming over to visit and keep me company...Amy bless her heart mowed my front yard for me... They all left about 4 pm and I sent everyone home with slices of banana nut bread... I am blessed with good people in my life... later I looked out my back door and saw that Amy had mowed my back yard too! She was coming back so quickly I assumed she just did the front! Greg said he’s been 60 days sober so good for him.

My Empress of India Clematis is beginning to bloom... I love this plant that crawls up my hand rail... It's 20 years old.

·         Amy Barry As I sit here eating your banana bread I must confess I didn't realize you had more to mow on the parking strip around the corner until I drove off. Sorry that didn't get done. I am glad you look good and happy to help.

·         Edgar Ben Williams It's out of my view lol... By the end of this week I should be able to do that strip... Much gratitude ... Thank you

·         Greg Hardin When no one was looking I had a taste of the "glazed" banana bread, it was very delicious and also reminded me of how grateful I am that have friends that support me with my sobriety. Hugs!

·         Bill Poore I love the fact that of all the men who said they would mow your lawn (except me, inside nurse/maid) it was Amy that mowed the lawns. Great job Amy, you are the best.

 

30 May 2017 Tuesday

Beautiful morning... I am sitting on the veranda Watching Maxx and Lulu Belle trying to show the squirrels who's boss... They just laugh and continue eating their sunflower seeds.... I am drinking some green tea but it cools off before I can finish it...had a bowl of instant oatmeal with skim milk...it was only about 2/3 cup but could only finish a half of that and Lulu Belle was more than happy to finish it for me... It was the first solid food I had in 2 weeks... Had surgery a week ago so doing pretty good for an old guy with 6 stabs to my belly... Coco is back from her Memorial Day vacation...Richard Butler came over about 11 am to visit and to vacuum my driveway from debris  from last Wednesday’s burst of wind. I went out with him and trimmed some of my irises and shrub branches back near the front porch. May is over and the irises are fading for sure. .It was hot they said 88 degrees today. I feel like I am getting a little stronger each day...I was out front in my boxer shorts lol when you get old you don't care what people think ha! I sent a loaf of banana nut bread home with Rich. He was here for nearly 3 hours and don’t get me wrong I love Rich but he can wear you out. When Michael Romero came over to fetch Coco I gave him the rest of my banana nut breads. I will make more for company...Had a nice surprise this evening about 7 pm  Richard Harmston and Charles Bigo came over to mow my parking strip on their way to Tuesday movie night over at the other Alan Anderson who lives near the Rose Park Golf Course. My Alan Anderson and Kyle G. Daniels came over about 8 pm and dropped their pups off. They took a Lyft driver to the airport to go to the Caribbean I will babysit Corky and Bhanni for a week... Fair warning to my friends don't come over unless you don't mind being greeted by Buddy, Harleigh, Maxx, TJ, Lulu Belle, Coco, Corky, and Bhanni.  There was an article in the SLTribune that the Pride Center building was sold for $1.6 million.  Director Carol Gnade now will search for a location that better meets the needs of the center. Among the priorities for a new site: Access to public transit and other support agencies, ample parking, ADA access and better meeting spaces.

 

31 May 2017 Wednesday

So May has come and gone again.  Had a life changing surgery and 10 years ago John died and 45 years ago I was baptized a Mormon. Went to the store to get more soup...I think I over loaded my stomach with solids today by having scrambled eggs for breakfast so back to liquids...went to the library and checked out some reading material...just light fluff...I tried wading through McCullough’s John Adams but I can't muster the strength for it... When I checked the books out I tried to pay a fine I know I've had for 6 months and the gal said the library is no longer collecting fines so she waved mine... I said I guess it does pay to procrastinate.... They all chuckled. Feeding frenzy is over at Club Fernleaf...feeding 7 dogs is an art form...Corky is satiated and feeling good. The rest are scavenging if anyone left some chicken thighs in their bowl. Baked Chicken Thighs with a side of kibbles was the entree tonight. Corky is in my lap and TJ snuggled in beside me. Kyle Foote called me about 7 pm to see how I am doing. Kathy Griffin posted a picture of her holding the decapitated head of trump and the right wing went ballistic calling it unprecedented. Where was the fake Conservative outrage over pictures Obama being lynched or Trumps statements about being a sexual predator? We behead tyrants ... Ask King Charles the I or King Louis XVIII

 

JUNE

1 June 2017 Thursday

Guess what I see when I wake up? I am being stared down by Corky saying where the hell are my treats? So got up and gave everyone their morning breakfast. Chopped a few weeds in the backyard garden, and later went over to Michael Aaron's to pick up a VIP ticket for Pride Weekend...he gave me a tie-dyed tank top and a Q cap... I also picked up a Q pages to try and find a yard man... Took out my trash can and I am done for the day lol... Donald Trump is not only an American disaster he is now a world class disaster... I have three VIP tickets to Pride day now and I am giving them to Jay and Greg to use because I won’t be going. This evening I just got off the phone with Jennifer Dobner a reporter for the SLTribune who is doing a story on J Seth Anderson's book Salt Lake LGBT...she wanted my take on it after she said after all I was the father of Gay Utah History lol. I gave it glowing acclaim and said it was first of its kind for public consumption and not just academia... It should be tomorrow's paper... We had a nice evening shower and now it's breezy out... Perfect sleeping weather...Bhanni is by my side and Corky up by my head...Lulu Belle and TJ is up with me ... Hope everyone is enjoying the 1st day of June. Trump pulled America out of the Paris Climate Agreement. California, New York, and Washington, a 5^th of America’s economy  will uphold the Paris Accords so screw Trump and his minions.

 

2 June 2017 Friday

Running on empty after going to the store to buy chicken thighs for 89 cents a pound at Food Savers...I bought some yogurt and yams for me...I can smash them and eat them...then went to the Marmalade Library and renewed our meeting room for another six months if they approve it which they did in an email. I stripped my bed to wash sheets and blankets but now too tired to make it up. sounds like a personal problem to me... I will get some pep I am sure after a good nap. Making up the bed around 4 pups who think they are entitled to be on the bed isn't easy but its done...nice clean bed for tonight well as clean a bed with 4 to 5 dogs on it as can be... Hope every one has fun and play safe at the Pride Festival this weekend...I am worn out just thinking about it.. Todd Bennett received the Kristin Ries Award. Jay came over about 1 pm to pick up the VIP tickets and he asked why there were so many police cars outside in front of my house. He thought something was wrong with me...I said school must have just gotten out and the junior high hoodlums must have been fighting...police were out of their vehicles telling the kids to go straight home... So much for the last day of school at Northwest lol. Evidently from what the news said two rival gangs one from Glendale Middle School and one from Northwest Middle School were having a rumble as school was letting out for the summer. Many of these kids funnel down my street from that school causing problems. There was a nice write up on J Seth Anderson's book LGBT Salt Lake in the SL Tribune today. Whether you agree with Comedienne Kathy Griffins expression it's dangerous when the supposed PONTUS singles you out with a vendetta... He hates strong women ...ask Rosie O'Donnell. America elected a Caligula... A decadent amoral narcissistic mental unstable individual who thinks he's all powerful... We will all suffer until he is removed and those who put him there punished... Stand up...

·         Charles Bigo Take it easy, my friend. Maybe you thought you could resume activity like before surgery. Remember that your intake is restricted. Therefore your energy levels available for work are diminished. It takes a while to get back to normal and your body has to heal. I know all about this, so be patient and let your body guide you through recovery.

·         Richard Harmston I don't watch Reality TV because it is rarely or never real, but Ben's Facebook entries are a slice of a life well lived. I love the humanity in this guy.

 

3 June 2017 Saturday

Today is my Mom’s 88^th birthday. I went with Mike Romero for an outing today. He needed to take his trailer up to Ogden for some maintenance repairs and then he wanted to go up Kamas Canyon to check out what camp grounds are open up. Above mile marker 19 was still closed because of snow run off but all the ones below that are open. Beautiful way to enjoy pride day being out in the country. Had him take me to Camp Rogers in the Soapstone Basin ... seems a life time ago that i organized a weekend workshop retreat called Beyond Stonewall nearly 30 years ago. We had a lot of fun Gay camping once upon a time ... came down the mountain better people I believe. The Provo River going full blast in the Soapstone Basin. On the way home we stopped at Volkers Bakery. Best Bread in the world here in Kamas... Mike bought 3 loaves German Rye, Cranberry Walnut, and Asiago Cheese.. I could only drool.  We got home about 4:30 and I then feed the dogs. I think Alan Anderson must starve poor Bhanni at home because here she gobbles down all her food before any of the others and then tries to eat everyone else's if I don't keep an eye on her... She's gets as much or more poor little girl.. Even Corky doesn't chow out like poor little Bhanni...so I have to give her extra affection rather than food... She has food issues or abandonment issues but I am no doggy psychiatrist... Outside Club Jam professional anti-Gay protestors were yelling at the bar patrons until the police was called.

·         Bill Poore who is in that car with you? This might be a deal breaker.

·         Edgar Ben Williams Michael Romero... he took his camper in to be worked on in Ogden and wanted to go to Kamas to see if campsites were opened or closed...I needed to get out of the house so I went with him and coco.

·         Greg Tracie Aviary Hardin No "Inner Tubing" Edgar Ben Williams!

·         Hugs!

·         Edgar Ben Williams I had to hurry get out of the road as a car came down lol

·         Bill Poore I totally understand you needing a break......with 7 dogs, with Billy the Corky leading the gang.

·         Richard P. Butler Perfect day to go.

·         Amy Barry I used to go to Camp Roger as a kid every summer for a week.

·         Edgar Ben Williams From 1988 to 1990 I held a 3 day retreat there for the Gay and Lesbian Community, with workshops, a fireside speaker, a dance under the stars. Magical time. I kept it cheap just $69 for a 3 day event including food and lodging.

·         Tracy L Johnson-Faulkner I wish Marilyn and I could have attended. Sounds fabulous.

·         Like

·         Matthew Wilson I remember that. It was a great weekend.

·         Like

·         Greg Tracie Aviary Hardin Went there one summer, had a blast!

·         David Omer Gay camping the best kind of camping.

·         Dan Fahndrich Beyond Stonewall for 3 years was quite an event. Thanks Ben, and others for starting this....

·         Erick Myers The 1st Beyond Stonewall was one of the most important events in my coming out. I met people there who are friends to this day. Thanks to Ben Williams for making the event a reality.

4 June 2017 Sunday

I guess sleeping in this Sunday Morning is out of the question....corky stares me in the face and starts kissing me...I think he just seeing how I taste... I spent much of the day on the computer looking up my nephew James’ paternal ancestry. Yesterday Charline sent me Gary Clark’s obituary. I guess he died in 2014. I told her I would look up what I could find. Did find out that on his great grandmother’s side he’s part Cherokee and his great great uncle was Oklahoma Jack a notorious bank robber during the Great Depression who got sent to Alcatraz. Sick of canned soup so making some split pea soup and I made some chicken salad with the food processor... I have been watching people live stream the Pride Parade on FB... That's good enough for me... I march with about 300 people back in 1990 at the 1st SLC March... I've done my bit to make SLC a little bit more Gay... Well I have a lot of furry company tonight... Miley and Sophie just were dropped off by Rich and Brenda about 6 pm. Corky and Bhanni will go home tomorrow after midnight so right now I have nine pups in the house... Everyone is well behaved.

·         Carol Gnade Missed seeing you today, but you must be proud of what you started. I hope you are feeling better❤️❤️❤️ Love

·         Edgar Ben Williams I am still recovering from surgery but I was there in spirit...you must be bursting with pride over a successful event...I bet Liz Pitt is exhausted...I knew her back when she was a student at the U of U lol... I am old

·         Carol Gnade But Liz is not old. She is young and has great energy that reminds me I was young once. Fun to be around that. 😍

·         Edgar Ben Williams Liz is great... We protested together the 1st Evergreen Conference here in SLC back in 1990 I think it was...She came with Dr. Patty Reagan who was my keynote speaker at my Beyond Stonewall Retreat in 1988...

·         Carol Gnade Now there is a good combo of women. Patty and Liz. Yahoo that's sounds amazing

·         James Dabakis Lucky puppies. Are you back to 100% Mr. Williams?

·         Edgar Ben Williams More like 65 percent but getting there

 

5 June 2017 Monday

Well trying to sleep was an adventure...got up at 1:30 to shut the doggy door to keep the pack from going out and barking...then Sophie wakes up and decided it's play time crawling over my head and chewing on my ear...finally every one settled down and about 2 we all went back to sleep...Sophie slept in the crook of my arm next to TJ until 6 am when everyone began to stir...when Coco came over fed all 9 hounds their morning treats of hot dogs, Bologna, and cheese... That was interesting... Sophie was the first in line. She and TJ are becoming pals... Took Rich and Brenda to the airport about 11:30 for their three week vacation in Virginia. Feeding nine dogs and hoping they all get something... Little Sophie ate every bit of her chicken and dog food and others... Everybody thinks everyone else is getting something different and better... I went to the airport at 11:30 pm to pick Kyle G. Daniels up who was coming home on an earlier flight if you consider 11:30 early...Poor Alan Anderson's flight wasn't coming in until 1 am...so it was goodbye to Corky and Bhanni who I am sure were as happy to go home as they were to see Kyle. This old man couldn't stay up and was a sleep after Sophie was done teething on my ear...her puppy teeth are like baby sharks...lol...

 

6 June 2017 Tuesday

It was easier feeding 8 pups this morning than 10 for sure and Sophie likes her chow with the best of them... I was up at 6:30 when Coco came in gang busters... This is my life... Would not change it.. I went up to the U of U for a follow up appointment with a nutritionist and physical therapist... they said I lost 20 pounds since I weighed in last fall. I weighed in at 231 and they ripped off my bandages and said my incisions look good...but I was not getting enough protein, iron and fluids so I have to up my game...they said I could eat ground turkey now... Oh yum... Being sarcastic... Most of the food I think I miss are probably the ones I couldn't eat now anyway... I went to my Smith’s here in Rose Park because the nutritionist said Kroger carries a brand of water that has protein in it... Well evidently not on the west side of town... Tired from working on my Utah Stonewall Lecture Series for tomorrow... But it's done for 1970-1971... Don't know I felt mentally challenged this time to work it up... I guess writing a 14 page essay is challenging any who... I am proud to provide information on local Gay history in a depth that can't be found anywhere else... For free... I took a two hour nap... So that helped.... Sophie thinks I am her teething ring....

 

7 June 2017 Wednesday

I took the Cruiser down to have the air conditioner looked at ..it's leaking out freon... Going to be a hot summer... Then baked my cookies for tonight History lecture and then made copies at Fed Ex downtown to hand out... While downtown I went to Smiths to find protein water but I did buy a cute little bird figurine ... and some flowers to replace the pansies that the heat is withering.  I went to the Marmalade Library at 6:30 and Courtney Moser was already there although our meeting doesn’t begin until 7 pm. We had a good turn out of about 15 people discussing 1970 and 1971 in Utah Gay History. Before going to bed Sophie bit TJs ear while they were wrestling... Boy did he howl... She doesn't know her own teething yet ...Eric Trump said that his father’s critics weren’t even people. Ben McAdams is calling for the resignation of Ott the county recorder because of his declining mental faculties

 

8 June 2017 Thursday

I had a busy morning cleaning house, vacuuming, mopping, planting flowers baking banana bread and chicken thighs... I like to get my baking done in the morning... Now time for lunch yum of a hard boiled egg. I wanted to clean house because I knew T.J. Otaka and Jim McMullin were coming over about noon bearing gifts... They found some Protein Water out at the Smiths near their house in Daybreak...Its Passion Fruit flavor and TJ said because I was a fruit full of passion it was just right for me... We visited for a while and then sent them home with two loaves of banana nut bread I made this morning because I said this way they didn't have to share lol ... Strange making stuff and not tasting any of it. Former FBI Director James Comey testified before Congress today and called Donald Trump a liar. Forbes magazine stated that Trump had siphoned off $1.3 million from a St. Jude benefit at one of his son’s golf tournaments after he told donors that the facilities were free. Another $100,000 went to the Trump foundation rather than to children with cancer. Ron Holmstrom wrote: Eric Trump and his daddy funneled charity dollars meant for St. Jude into their pockets. I wish that the days of tar and feathers were not history. The whole family needs to be tarred and feathered and ran out of town on a rail. People that still support him needs to do some serious soul searching.

 

9 June 2017 Friday

Today is my sister Charline’s 70^th birthday. I ordered flowers for her so she should get them today. I mowed the front lawn this morning after going to the store and buying Sophie some teething bones as well as treats for the rest of the gang...weeded and cleaned out the chives growing in my rose garden...noticed I have tomatoes already growing... So grateful that Amy Barry and Richard Harmston mowed for me or it would have been a chore... I will mow the back tomorrow...Bill Poore wanted to do lunch today so we went to East Seas...I just had a small bowl of egg drop soup which filled me up and Bill had Chicken chow Mein. He ended taking most of it home. He brought treats for the pups and Sophie the shark drew blood on his hand... She has sharp puppy teeth... I said keep your hands away lol. She's adorable but thinks everyone is a chew toy... I sent him home with a corned beef and potatoes I had put in a crock pot for him early this morning. I made myself another crock of split pea soup and gave some to Michael when he came over to get Coco. Lancer’s called and said the Cruiser needed a compressor to fix the air conditioning and will cost about $800. I said go for it. I can’t be driving the pups around in the summer heat without air conditioning.  Also Alpine the people who own the oxygen machine said they would come get it on Monday. Everyone has eaten so it's snooze time... Sophie decided Buddy is a good spot to snuggle up to.  I think I over ate today and I felt discomfort for most of the evening. I had a big bowl of Jello and cool whip and I think that is what did it.

 

10 June 2017 Saturday

Busy morning... I mowed the back yard before I went to Lowes to buy a new flag pole for the front of the house and a new shower head so I can wash the pups in the tub.  It turned out to be a pretty day. I bought some veggies to plant in the backyard garden. I planted some crook neck squash, cucumbers, and sweet melon. Sophie tried to help me in the garden by climbing over the rails and landing on top of one of my cucumber plants doing a belly flop... She’s going up and down the stairs to the back yard now. I took a nap about 2:30 with Sophie and TJ going to town playing but they finally settled down and I actually slept for about 2 hours before getting up and feeding everyone. I went with Alan Anderson and Troy Hunter to the Eccles Theater to see Anderson Cooper and Andy Cohen banter about life... Troy came over first about 6 pm as I was just getting into the shower. Alan said he was coming over at 6:30 so I thought I had plenty of time. I took my handicap sticker so we had street parking right in front of the Eccles Theater on Main Street. There’s a bit of a Bistro at the Eccles so since Alan and Troy hadn’t eaten they had a bite to eat while I just drank water. It was my first time at the Eccles and it is spacious and inside the auditorium it was done in a red rock motif with lots of reddish orange earth tones with a star lit ceiling. The tickets Alan had bought off a friend was in the 2^nd tier center so we was a ways up and the tickets for that was $75 so I wonder what the seats went for down on the main floor. I had no idea who Andy Cohen was until tonight because I never watched any of the Real Housewives show or his late night show. They had been friends for 25 years and there was a lot of Gay energy. I didn’t know what to expect but the evening was riveting and it made me really admire Anderson Cooper all the more... At the Eccles Theater, Holly Mullen Wilson came up to say hi to Alan Anderson and when he introduced me, she said You're Ben Williams! You're famous! Lol I turned to Troy and said, I'm not that famous but it was nice to know she reads my column in the Q...she was there with her gorgeous son because Ted Wilson I guess is recovering from a bicycle accident... For you youngsters Ted Wilson is a former progressive Democrat Mayor of SLC...

Now time for bed and I gave Sophie a chew stick keeps her from chewing on me... Adam West the TV Batman died today at the age of 88. He was my favorite Batman.

·         Alan Anderson Holly Mullen is the famous one.

·         Edgar Ben Williams Absolutely

·         Holly Mullen You two! Great to see you, and wasn't that a fantastic show?! 👌🏻

·         Alan Anderson I did not know who Andy Cohen was, but the evening was very entertaining! I am going to start watching Andy!

·         Holly Mullen I do read your column, Ben, have for years, and you truly are the history keeper of SLC's LGBTQ community! Thank you for that.

·         Amy Barry Edgar Ben Williams and Alan Anderson are two fantastic human beings!

 

11 June 2017 Sunday

Finished my talk this morning which I was asked to present at the Equality Rally today. I am Keeping it brief which I know some of you are skeptical. At 1:45 I went to the Equality Rally at the Federal Building held in conjunction with the National Equality March in Washington DC. Turn out was kind of low and sad that 50,000 people can attend a party but less than a hundred can be bothered to show up for rally for equality... Jim Dabakis gave a stirring talk about his friend Tim who died of AIDS, Michael Sanders talked on all the advances they are making for the prevention of AIDS... I was asked to speak on the importance of Gay History... I stayed almost to the end but was feeling really tired and went home before it was all over. Mainly because I didn’t want to hear Rocky O’Donovan blubber during his talk. I saw Randy Burke there who I hadn’t seen in almost 20 years. He was surprised I remembered his faerie name Mr. Tree. Mark Angus emailed me this Please be advised that the location has changed. We will gather at the Wallace Bennett Federal Building Plaza at 125 South State Street in SLC.

You are scheduled to speak around 2:25pm

Here is the full schedule:

2:00 PM Salt Lake Men's Choir - Cups, Good Old Acapella Dennis McCracken Salt Lake Men's Choir

2:10 PM Emcee - Moesha Montana  Moesha 

2:10 PM Speech - A Call to Action and introduction to the memoriam Terry Gillman Utah Gay Men's Resource Network

2:10 PM Memoriam for those who lost their lives to AIDS  - 30 seconds of silence Terry Gillman Gay Men Aloud

2:15 PM Talk and start the chanting. Now all hold hands and chant.  Jim Dabakis Utah State Senator  Chant - 1,2,3,4. What are we all marching for? Equal rights and nothing more Jim Dabakis  Chant - 5,6,7,8. Stop the lies and stop the hate. Show your pride and celebrate! Jim Dabakis 

2:20 PM Speech - Mr. Friendly Michael Sanders  Black Board and Mr. Friendly

2:25 PM Speech - The Importance of Gay History Edgar Ben Williams Utah Stonewall Historical Society

2:30 PM Speech - The importance of being politically involved Rudy Miera Utah Stonewall Democrats

 Chant - Don't repeat the same mistakes, History is what it takes! Jim Dabakis 

2:35 PM Speech - Being a Trans Candidate Sophia Hawes-Tingey Candidate for Mayor of Midvale

2:40 PM Speech - Legal System Chris  Wharton Salt Lake City Council Candidate

 Chant - L - G - B - T, We demand equality! Repeat 4 times. Jim Dabakis 

2:45 PM Speech - Human Rights, teaching empathy education and facilitating conversations Carla Kelley The Human Rights Education Center of Utah

2:50 AM Lucas Fowler - Trans in America Lucas Fowler TEA of Utah

 Chant - What do we want? Equal Rights, When do we want them? Now! Jim Dabakis 

2:55 PM Speech - LGBTQ Bullying - Don's Story Don Chugg Provo Activist

3:00 PM Speech - Encircle mission, bringing families and their LGBTQ children together to prevent youth homelessness and suicide Jacob Dunford Encircle LGBTQ Family & Youth Resource Center - Development Director

3:05 PM Speech - Gay Parenting, challenges of adoption, foster parenting, surrogacy, single parenting, starting a family, etc. Ben Visser Utah Gay Father's Association

 Chant - Two dads, two moms, it matters not.  Love is what a family's got! Jim Dabakis 

3:10 PM Speech - Gay Immigration Issues Connell O’Donovan Utah Pride Center's Heart and Home Project for LGBT International Refugees

3:15 PM Speech - Immigration Story, Importance for us to let Gay asylum seekers into the country Barnabas Wobiliya Wah-Bee-Leah Ugandan Immigrant

 Chant - When we are under attack, What do we do? Stand Up, Fight back! Jim Dabakis 

3:20 PM Salt Lake Men's Choir - Fields of Gold Dennis McCracken Salt Lake Men's Choir

 Go support your favorite LGBTQ Establishment, BBQs are ready for you at Tryangles  

3:30 PM Final Chant - We're here, we're queer, we're fabulous, don't mess with us! Jim Dabakis 

 

Thank you for joining our Rally! Your contribution is highly appreciated.

·         Michael Sanders Was anyone else cut off, mid sentence during their speech....or just me?

·         Courtney Moser They cut about 4 people off.

·         Michael Sanders It seemed disrespectful to me. I was asked to talk for a minimum of 5 minutes and was cut short mid sentence at 4. With just a closing two sentences left.

·         Edgar Ben Williams Jim Dabakis was being cut off but asked for more time to finish his story... Sad when the emcee was cutting people off when he couldn't bother to show up on time himself... I was brief

·         Greg Allen Thanks for representing, Ben! We would have been there had it not been for our Bear Lake vacation. LGBT folks must not be feeling very threatened, but they should.

·         Alan Anderson I wish I had been there. Inspiring

·         Bill Poore I worked up a tear reading this Ben, very beautiful, very well done, am proud you are my friend....You are the old guard that has been a pillar holding up the foundation of who we are and will always be. Love you and your little doggies too.

·         Terry Gillman Ben, I kept trying to get over to you to hug you and thank you for speaking yesterday. I'm so glad you're up and about. All my love!

·         Edgar Ben Williams Sorry I had to leave before it was all over...I was wearing down... My endurance is not back yet...

·         Ron Johnson THE Pride Pillar. Our foundation is strong because of you

 

12 June 2017 Monday

The wind was whipping everything up today. Really bad gusts of wind. The Tribune printed a brief article on Yesterday’s Rally “The event — which was one of 97 events held nationwide as part the Equality March for Unity and Pride — featured Sen. Jim Dabakis, LGBT historian Ben Williams, Salt Lake City Council candidate Chris Wharton and Mayor Jackie Biskupski.” I had a nice picture taken.

 

13 June 2017 Tuesday

Rainy Days and Tuesdays always gets me down... and make for sleepy head dogs. I finished my article for the July Issue of the Q and now need to head down to Best Buy and buy a new charger cord that a little miss something, whose name I won't mention but is fast asleep on my feet under the desk, chewed up... I tried electrical tape but it doesn't hold a charge. Need to go to the store anyway... running low on chicken thighs and sure hate for the pups to see me as one big chicken thigh... It rained for most of the morning and afternoon but by the time Mike got off work it cleared up. I had him take me down to Lancer’s to pick up the Cruiser as it was ready. The Cruiser is home some $1100 later, new air conditioner kit, new radiator, and a new engine mount...the pups and I will be traveling in air conditioned comfort this summer... I have put in a new transmission, a new timing belt, and a new radiator and air conditioner... About $4,000 still cheaper than a $14,000 used car...it only has 105,000 miles on it..... And it is only 10 years old... The truck is 20... Jeff Sessions the lying sack of shit testified before the Senate claiming he didn’t remember anything.  Strawberry Pie Recipe- Crust ¾ c flour, 3 tbsp sugar, 2 tbsp graham crackers, ½ cup soft butter. Filling 3 qt strawberries, 6 oz strawberry jello, 2 c sugar, 6 tbsp corn starch, 2 cup water.

 

14 June 2017 Wednesday

Now that Sophie thinks she's a big girl and can go up and down the steps to the yard she likes to bring twigs in that the wind blew down to chew up in the house. It's not like she doesn't have Chewies all over the place.  She can also go up and off the bed. She’s a smart little girl. She snagged my harem pants and ripped a hole in them the little monster. I wrote Kyle Foote a long letter today and mailed it off while going off to DI to buy some gym shorts. I weighed myself on my scale which said I was 215 which I know is off from the doctor’s scale by about 10 lbs. I repacked the Cruiser with comforters for the pups to ride in the back and went to the car wash and cleaned the car. Went and got some gas. Its jumping up again at $2.55 but I got 30 cents off so that was good. Sophie wanted to go with the gang for a car ride when I took Coco home but over at Mike’s he wasn’t there. My phone battery was out so after waiting a half an hour I went back home. When I charged the phone had a message form Michael saying he was getting his tire fix. So when he came over to the house he said he was going up to Ogden to pick up his camper which they said was ready. So I rode with Michael up to Ogden to retrieve his camper...The traffic was heavy going north even at 6:30. They were suppose to leave it outside the fence as that they were closed...They didn't so a wasted trip ...  This evening I watched another episode of The Hand Maiden and started watching the 1990 Twin Peak series. I never watched it back then so its all new and fresh to me.  A massive  fire broke out in a London High Rise Apartment. How simply horrifying for those poor souls... Thank the stars that someone caught the baby thrown out the 10 story window.  There was a shooting in Washington where an unhinged Bernie Sanders supporter was killed after shooting a Congressman, an aide, and two police officers. The congressman was one that had repealed Obama’s decision to keep weapons out of the hands of the mentally ill.

 

15 June 2017 Thursday

The month is half over already. Needed to get out of the house so went to Century 16 and saw Guardians of the Galaxy 2... There was about 5 people in the entire theater lol... Pure escape fantasy but fun but all the previews for other summer action pictures look like crap... Fundamentalists are destroying this nation by denying science, education, and health care all the while claiming they are the ones being persecuted... Some Social Justice wrong headed folks in Philadelphia added a black and brown stipe to the Rainbow Flag as a protest that people of color were not  represented enough in the Gay community. This flag was never about race... And was always about diversity...you can add 100 more stripes and someone will still be offended... Leave our flag and history alone or create a new flag, like the leather, bears, and trans community have done for yourselves... Gilbert Baker has been dead only a few weeks and people are already wanting fuck with his masterpiece

 

16 June 2017 Friday

I can't eat my bananas fast enough before they get overly ripe so I am forced to make banana bread... I've got a crock pot of homemade savory lentil soup made with herbs from my garden... Smells good....Lulu Belle is laying in my arms wanting her belly rubbed...she thinks everyone else is getting all the attention....Piled everyone in the car to take Coco home...When I get over to Mikes he says where's Coco... Crap I forgot to make sure she was in the car because Sophie was playing games of catch me if you can... So came back home and there's Coco in the backyard... I think I have too many dogs to keep track of ... Thank goodness Miley never likes to go for rides but Sophie cries if she doesn't get to go with the rest... I gave Michael a loaf of the banana bread. They said they are tired of chicken thighs I am Feeding the gang lentils and roast beef tonight... I forgot how much I dislike lentils.... TJ and Sophie have really bonded... She's going to be sad when she goes home and leaves her playmate.... Three weeks in the life of a puppy is a long time... My grandma Tressie Margret McLeod Johnson birthday. She was born 16 June 1899 in Washita Oklahoma Territory...I have a picture taken circa 1937 with an unhappy daughter June, my mother lol. Happy Birthday Grandma. I love you and miss you.

·         Richard P. Butler She can bond with me. Lol

·         Edgar Ben Williams Hope she remembers you ... She's a big girl now 😇

·         Richard P. Butler Did you loosen her collar?

·         Edgar Ben Williams She's not getting much bigger but more like an adolescent than a puppy...she gets on and off the bed by herself. She goes down the steps to the grass... She plays with TJ more rather than chewing on me... She is a smart stubborn cookie...

·         Richard P. Butler I miss her in all her gnawing ways. Lol

·         Russell Pack I want to come back as one of your dogs! BTW, have you tried feeding them bell peppers? Toby and Scooter love them.

·         Roland Ron Holmgren Too many dogs to take care of...when do you want me to pickup T.J. Chennie would love her.

·         Edgar Ben Williams I just have to make sure I do a head count now at Sophie insists going along with the rest of the pack...

 

17 June 2017 Saturday

Back home from a 5 hour road trip with Bill Poore who brought me yellow mums this morning saying they were from the pups to me for Father's Day. Our destination was to be Camp Floyd and I suppose I should have looked at a map because I was totally lost. We left about 10 this morning and I took I-215 to Redwood Road then down past Camp Williams to Utah County.  There were no road signs telling you where to turn off so turned west on to Pony Express thinking the old Pony express road would take us there but it only took us into Eagle Mountain...Good God so many Mormons...Utah will never elected a Democrat in a state wide election... Well after getting lost out there I went back to Redwood and followed it down the west side of Utah Lake... I followed a two lane road out in the country for 20 miles with nary a sign for directions. Not one!. There must have been a hundred bicyclists on that road for some marathon...Finally we reached Elberta! Where the hell is Elberta? Well I turned east and found our way back through the old  Mormon villages of Genola, and Goshen to Santaquin where we were able to get back on I-15 heading north...I took HWY 89 at Springville and drove into Provo where I showed Bill where I lived when I got kicked out of BYU.  My old apartment on 900 East is still there some 40 years later. I wonder how many dramas played out in Apartment 2 through four decades of BYU boys.  Finally we stopped at an Applebee's in Orem where I knew I could get some soup... I had tomato basil while Bill ordered a Patty Melt and the cute waitress said "What's that?" We were surprised that she never heard of a patty melt and she said “I only know what's on the menu”....so he got a plain cheese burger instead lol... I told her that when she goes to work for Village Inn she will know what a patty melt is LOL. We then asked if she knew what a Reuben was and she oh sure my grandpa always orders them. LOL Well that put us in our place. But the boy waiters were all cute... Anyway glad to be home and I sent Bill off with a loaf of banana bread.... It was fun relaxing this evening watching the dogs play in the back yard. Sophie was running around the yard chasing Maxx and wrestling with him. The older dogs were just hanging out being mellow.  After it began to get dark came in and watched Twin Peaks. I am almost finished with it and will finish it up tomorrow.

·         Richard Harmston A fitting tribute for the man who is "Daddy" to us all.

·         T.J. Otaka Beautiful mums. So considerate of Bill to bring you the gift for your pups. If they could speak, they would thank you and Bill both. BTW, Jim always orders a patty melt instead of a burger where available.

·         Bill Poore The other waiter didn't know what it was either,

·         Roland Ron Holmgren Nice day, nice mums, nice friend.

·         Bill Poore It was a long trip, I felt like a Mormon Missionary in a covered wagon. It was worth it eating in Provo with all those cute Returned Missionaries to look at, God they are hot.

·         Bill Poore By the way Ben the reason the traffic was so heavy it was the Republican Convention in Lehi.......

·         Edgar Ben Williams That makes sense... Bastards

·         Terrie Williams What an adventure you two went on. nice flowers mr poore✌️.✌️ You're. Such a good uncle.

 

18 June 2017 Sunday

Didn’t feel like doing much today. I didn’t eat much. Just not hungry and really I get so full even with sips of water.  I made an event for my Movie Night Friends for this Saturday. Going to have a BBQ and watch Some Lot It Hot.  Michael brought his camper back this morning and is taking off most of next week for his birthday so I won’t be taking care of Coco after Tuesday for about 5 days.  Its such a pretty day kind of hate to waste it. Happy Father's Day Dad... sorry we didn't get along all that well for a long time. I was so different from what you expected. Dad only knew how to express his feelings by being a provider for his family which he did so well. Rest in Peace until we meet again

 

19 June 2017 Monday

Happy Juneteenth when news of the emancipation finally reached Texas on June 19th, 1865... Tonight was Gay Men Aloud with Charles Frost talking about the epidemic of loneliness in the Gay community. Well not for me. I may live alone but I am not lonely by a long shot.

 

20 June 2017 Tuesday

Went out and mowed the front lawn before it gets too hot today. Did some weeding and bush trimming and now I am bushed. They say it may get up to 100 today so I must stay hydrated. Chad Anderson inspired me to read more biographies so I reading Richard S Van Waggoners Sidney Rigdon a Portrait of Religious Excess... If Sophie will leave me alone .... She needs a nap...Paces Popsicles are at Food Savers here in Rose Park.... Yay Even the lime is delicious. Pace Drive Inn is in Bountiful near where I use to teach. Here comes the storm ... On the last day of spring. It passed over with just wind and bluster no water.  On a quiz what type of Stereotype Gay are you? I got Rainbow Gay Pro's: You are the activist of the gays, fighting for all things that are right. You believe in equality, not only for gays but for everyone. You are a social butterfly, easy to talk to, and extremely friendly. Con's: People may find you annoying, full of it, or too perky.

 

21 June 2017 Wednesday Midsummer Eve

First day of summer and Michael Romero’s 61^st birthday. He took off with Coco to go camping for his birthday. It's been 4 weeks since Kent McKay Scadlock took me home from the hospital...still don't have the energy I had before surgery... Suppose it's the lack of calories... I do a project like cleaning up my bedroom floor from Sophie's love of chewing up paper and doing laundry and I have to rest... My bedroom scale says I'm 210 but don't believe it... So we will see when I weigh in on July 11... Well enough of a respite back to work. I went back to the Northwest Rec Center to do some walking and get out of the house... Walked a half mile on the track and half mile on the tread mill... Weighted myself there on their electronic scale more accurate...221 so my scale at home is off by 10 lbs. lol... I went to DI to buy a smaller pair of gym shorts... I suppose no one appreciates my others fallen to my knees. Had a nice visit with Richard Harmston and Charles Bigo who brought me a beautiful flowering plant in the late afternoon... They just wanted to see how I was doing.... Didn't have much in the house so treated them to Pace Popsicles...  I called Michael Aaron in the evening to see if I could pick up the VIP tickets for the Art Festival. I won’t go but doesn’t mean I don’t want the tickets. Driving on 600 North over to Michael Aarons I saw a billboard with the name Kerry Arbon Who Murdered Me? That name triggered a memory of knowing that name from my archives on murdered Gay men. Michael Aaron didn't seem to recall him so I went on line and saw that the SLC police had reopened his case.  He was the same age as me but closeted.  Kyle Foote called me just as I was leaving Michael’s so sat in the car and visited. June will be the last movie night for the summer. Will resume in September when people are winding down from all their summer time activities

·         Alan Anderson I don't remember hearing about this back then. Sad. Today there are so many surveillance cameras that people are getting caught, like the Easter day murder. It would be nice if they were able to close this case.

·         Greg Tracie Aviary Hardin This was so sad, Kerry Arbon was relentless in following me all over town. One night I had to pull into a 7-11 and told him, "I wasn't interested!" When I heard the news of the Homicide I was very disturbed. Thanks for sharing Edgar Ben Williams. Hugs!

 

22 June 2017 Thursday

Took Jim Dabakis to the airport this morning. He’s heading off to Sunny Southern California... He gave me two tickets to the Eccles Theater for Dirty Dancing for this Sunday since he won’t be here to use it. I messengered Richard Harmston if they wanted them and they did.  Everyone is going and a blowing this summer...Me I went to Smiths because they have chicken thighs for 77 cents a pound... So stocked up. Also bought bird feed on sale in their discount section 10lbs for $2.50 so I bought 2 of them... Just because I can't eat doesn't mean the critters need to go hungry... I looked for my social security card this morning and couldn’t find it anywhere so bit the bullet and went down town. When walking to the Social Security office I had the strangest feeling...it was like I was wobbly and was leaning like I was slightly inebriated... I had to sit down until the feeling passed... Still I used to bricks in the pavement to keep from swerving I wonder if my new diet had anything to do with it... So I Spent an hour and a half at the downtown Social Security office to replace my card because Utah is not on line for me to do it. Interesting place watching all the nitwits argue with the security offices when asked to take off their belts when going through the metal detector...It will be two weeks before I get it in the mail. Is it mean to say I hope all the Kentucky yokels who voted for Mitch McConnell have pre existing conditions and have their premiums go through the roof...

 

23 June 2017 Friday

I noticed last night my arms and legs seem smaller less muscle mass... Changes in my body. I guess. I went to the gym today and walked a mile. I wanted to get a hair cut today but everyplace on this side of town was busy. I made a ton of potato salad today for the party tomorrow. Its better when the flavors set. I also made a crock pot of BBQ shredded pork for tomorrow. Sophie thinks I ought to be sharing my Pace Popsicle with her. Obama was told last August that Putin was directly involved in the hacking of the elections. An act of war... But GOP is the party of treason not reason. I wrote Kyle a letter today.

·         Dear Kyle, It was good to hear your voice last Wednesday. I was just leaving Michael Aaron’s house when you called. I was there to pick up VIP Art Festival Tickets that he promised me for getting my column in early. I wasn’t planning on going but wanted to give them to friends who could use them.  When I got home I added money to your account through Access Corrections which had a new format which seemed strange. The next day I still didn’t receive a confirmation through my email. Some times its slow. So yesterday I added an additional $50 so you could pay on your TV for the summer so you won’t miss Big Brother and today I had a confirmation of that $50 but not the $150 I put in on Wednesday.  So I readded the$150 and printed the receipt for it so let me know if you don’t get it.   I think once before this happened.  So there should be at least $200 in your account if there is more its because the transaction went in twice.          Yesterday I was feeling strong enough to try and find my Social Security Card. Couldn’t find it anywhere so I tried going on line to order a replacement. Well Utah is one of the states that you couldn’t order on line and the site said one didn’t need to show a card just memorize your number. Well I thought bull shit they don’t know Utah’s penal system then.  So I went downtown to apply for a new one.      It was weird that when I crossed the street all of a sudden I felt wobbly like I was listing and couldn’t keep my feet straight. Felt like I was slightly inebriated so I sat down on a bench until the feeling passed. I don’t know what brought that on unless the change in diet is affecting me weird. I know I feel like I am losing muscle mass in my arms and legs.       Anyway after an hour and a half I finally saw someone who ordered me a new card which they said would be mailed to me within two weeks. After that I will reapply for visitation and its up to them how long that will take.  Seems an unnecessary bureaucracy burden if they have had my social security card number on file for four years why would they need anything more than a driver’s license?      Well enough about that. I took Jim Dabakis to the airport yesterday as he was heading out to Southern California for the weekend. Since he was gone he gave me his tickets to Dirty Dancing at the Eccles Theater for Sunday. I didn’t want to go so I give those away too. They were $200 for the pair. Jim has orchestra seats for the season.           What else is in the news? Two lesbian friends of Debbie Rosenberg in Taylorsville were killed Wednesday in an apparent murder/suicide.  It was a domestic violence situation with the victim even having a restraining order.  A year ago John Williams was murdered in a break up with his long time boyfriend. The house is still half burnt up on Capitol Hill.          I am still babysitting a puppy who has about worn me out. She is a white Pomeranian Chihuahua mix and will weigh less than 10 lbs. when fully grown. She’s still teething and wants to chew on everything still. She chewed up my power cord for my mini pad and snagged a hole in a pair of pants. She lays across the top of my head when she sleeps. I am like a grandma… wanting to send her home to her parents when they come back on Monday.  I am way too old now to raise a puppy. Buddy sleeps most of the time and has out lasted his sister by nearly a year and a half now. Old Harleigh who has bad legs to begin with is having a harder time coming up the steps. Often he has lost his noodle and will stand on the hot tub deck and just bark until I call him up and then he has to have a running start. Probably by the time you are released they will be gone and I will just have Maxx, TJ, and Lulu Belle. That’s enough. A week ago Saturday, I took Bill Poore for a day trip. We had intended to go see Camp Floyd where Johnston’s Army was stationed during the Mormon Rebellion in 1857. Its down in Utah County and I thought I knew how to get there but the west side of Utah Lake has grown so much that we got lost in Eagle Mountain and never did find the road to Camp Floyd. What we saw was that Utah County has become the center of power for Utah and we realized that a Democrat will never be elected statewide. It certainly was Mormon Trump country.  Anyway I turned back to Redwood Road and went south trying to find a sign for a turn off to Camp Floyd but there was nothing. We kept following the west side of Utah Lake for miles and miles without out any indication where we were until finally we hit civilization again if you can call Elberta civilization. I had never even heard of Elberta a little Podunk stop in the road between Delta and Santaquin. So I turned east and finally made it to I 15 and we headed north. I got off in Springville and drove the back way into Provo to show Bill where I lived 40 years ago where Larry Copenhagen tried to commit suicide after being caught in the BYU Purge of 1976.  I thought how many generations of Mormon Boys lived in that apartment after me never realizing the little drama that occurred there so long ago.         After sightseeing in Provo went into Orem where Bill was hungry so we stopped at an Applebee’s on University near the UVU because I knew I probably could get some soup there. Bill ordered a patty melt and the waitress asked “What is a patty melt?” We were both aghast. I said You work in a restaurant and don’t know what a patty melt is?” She replied she only knew what was on the Applebee’s menu which evidently a patty melt isn’t. So I said to her when you go to work at Village Inn you will know what a patty melt is.” We then asked if she knew what a Reuben Sandwich was and she said “yes my grandpa ordered it all the time.” Well that put us two old codgers in out place. So Bill ordered a plain cheese burger and I had a bowl of tomato soup. So that’s as much excitement as I could stand for a while.  Eating out anymore is wasted on me because I just cannot eat more than a few bites before I am full. Well the GOP scum finally released their death bill that they clandestinely scribbled together. Well I hope that all those Kentucky yokels who voted for McConnell are the first to be cut off from Medicare and Medicaid and their rates for pre-existing conditions go through the roof.  There is a real cognitive dissonance with Trump supporters that borders on a mental illness. Its more than just ignorance which can be corrected with education but a willful disregard of anything that does not support their bigotry and myopic world view.  It’s truly frightening. In Gay news some Social Justice activist in Philadelphia added a black and brown stripe to the Rainbow flag insisting that People of Color are underrepresented in the Gay community.  I find it extremely ironic that the most colorful flag ever is disparaged by a few as not representing people of color. As if the flag was ever meant to represent race in the first place. It’s a rainbow and the last time I checked black and brown are not a part of the color spectrum.  The flag doesn’t represent people. There are no green and purple people. Where then are the colors for Gay Native Americans and Asians? If you say Red and Yellow then you are a racist. Where is the white for white people? Social Justice Warriors are more interested and being iconoclasts than finding solutions.  Well that is my soap box. Last week I needed to get out of the house so went to Century 16 and saw Guardians of the Galaxy part 2... There were about 5 people in the entire theater lol... Pure escape fantasy but fun since I saw part 1 a year or so ago. All the previews for the other summer action pictures look like crap... all blow everything up special effects. Well I will close for now and get this in the mail. As I ever was or shall be Your Friend Ben

 

24 June 2017 Saturday

I was up early to clean the house for tonight’s party. I didn’t have too much prep so had plenty of time to relax between sweeping, mopping, and vacuuming. I finished binge watching GLOW on Netflix this morning about women wrestling in 1986... Excellent but Alison Brie was hard to see naked after seeing her as Annie Edison in the show Community for all those years. Lol. I had my first BBQ for the summer tonight... Had cheeseburgers, shredded pork, potato salad, baked beans, and Bill Poore brought Cole slaw, TJ brought a cauliflower salad, Charles Bigo brought a green salad and tomatoes, lettuce, onions, and pickles and a Jay brought a chocolate pie... We had a nice gathering. Dennis Lee couldn’t make it because of some festival in Taylorsville is blocking his driveway and can’t get out. Kent came and flipped hamburgers for me on the BBQ grill. It was a beautiful evening and I had a little baked beans and potato salad but that is all. Kent and Bill had to leave after dinner but the rest of us went into the movie room and watched Some Like It Hot. I think everyone had a had a great time. The pups were all well behaved even Sophie was pretty well behaved and not biting everyone... Some of us remember and will not forget...that on this date 40 years ago The International Women’s Year’s state conference was held in downtown Salt Lake City. The Mormon Church orchestrated a take over of the conference by Conservation non-feminist Mormon Women. Conservative Mormon Bishop Dennis Kerr organized anti-feminist, anti-ERA orientations to block support for the ERA in Utah. “Kerr and his group warned about Lesbian takeovers, unfair voting practices, and being subjected to pornographic films. In the scheduled workshops the conservative Mormon delegates shouted down women they identified as “feminists”, sometimes calling them lesbians.

·         Charles Bigo Yes, it was a great evening! Thanks to all for being a great bunch of friends. Ben went overboard and treated us like royalty - as he always does! He looks great! I think that Ben must have had a good talk with his boys, cause they were so well mannered and didn't roughhouse too much except when Marilyn Monroe appeared on screen. ( I believe they wanted to assert and position themselves in front of MM). Thank you again Ben for the BBQ. Did someone lose sunglasses at the BBQ last night. I have in my possession a pair of black sunglasses with a mirror type finish on the front. If they are yours, please let me know and I will return them to you

·         Bill Poore Great group of men, really enjoy being around them. Thanks Ben.

 

25 June 2017 Sunday

Today is my sister Donna’s 68^th birthday. Must have been tired from yesterday's fun day because I laid down at 11 am to read from Sidney Rigdon’s biography and the next thing I knew it was 1 pm... Forgot to thaw out a chicken for the hounds dinner so went to the store and bought a roasting chicken and then over to Rancho Market and bought a watermelon and a canary melon. I was craving a watermelon and since it's mostly water it shouldn't do me any harm. Richard Harmston and Charles Bigo called and said they had a good time at Dirty Dancing. I had given them the Eccles Theater tickets that Jim Dabakis gave me. I gave my VIP tickets to Kent Scadlock and Dennis Lee for the Arts Festival.  Other than that it was a very mellow day.  Today is New York Pride Day. I guess in Chicago a Pride Flag with the star of David on it caused a lot of drama for the Social Justice Warriors who wanted it banned from the Dyke March parade. Social Justice Warriors are tearing the Gay community apart... Jews can't March, cops can't March, they want to add black and brown to the rainbow flag. Where will it end? I hope everyone had a good time last night and will have a fun time at the Art Festival, the theater, croquet party or just relaxing today as I plan on doing

·         Kent McKay Scadlock It was such a lovely evening for a barbecue. Thank you Ben for being the perfect host!!

·         T.J. Otaka We certainly did. Thank you for your hospitality as always. So nice seeing you. Just take it easy and rest a little.

·         Richard Harmston Thanks for a perfect evening where friends gather and enjoy good food, good company, and classic entertainment.

26 June 2017 Monday

Rich Butler called about 7:30 saying they had arrived so I drove out to the airport to pick them up. The traffic out at the airport was unbelievable. Never saw it so crowded. Back at the house my worries that Sophie might not remember Rich and Brenda were allayed when she jumped all over them happy to see them. I said goodbye to Sophie and Miley... No more puppy around the house... I will miss the little girl but she was so excited to see her mom and dad again... When company left my grandma Johnson called the feeling... A glad lonesome... That is how I am feeling I suppose... Now we can get back to our lives ... I have been babysitting pups for over a month....Poor old TJ and Maxx are exhausted from having a puppy in the house... Now they can have a good night sleep without being chewed on...

 

27 June 2017 Tuesday

I met with a free lance reporter named Eric S Peterson this morning at Mestizo Coffee.. He wanted information on the death of Tony Adams in 1978 and his unsolved murder. He was a prominent Black Gay activist here in Salt Lake who was brutally murdered a few weeks before Harvey Milk was murdered in San Francisco.  After that I went and made a copy of Kyle Foote’s diploma to send to him in a letter. I know he will be very excited to see that. I spent a lot of money helping him get that A.A. degree.  I put the blankets  and pillows back in the Cruiser so I can give the dogs a ride again when I take Coco home. I also finally drained and cleaned the hot tub and when I refilled it I forgot and it over flowed LOL Put in a new filter too so I will turn it on before going to get and it should be good to go in the morning.... It's been nice just having my gang of pups.... Even Coco. They mostly sleep all day which is good for an old guy like me... I am worried about Harleigh though. His legs seem to be going out on him and has a really hard time coming up the steps... He barks incessantly for me to come and help him. Sometimes I have to carry him up... I adopted him knowing he had a bad leg that had as atrophied.

·         Dear Kyle, Just a quick note to let you know I received your Diploma Monday from the Salt Lake Community College. I am sending you a copy for you to show and hope it does you some good with getting some time reduced. Not much has gone on since I last wrote you a couple of days ago. Saturday evening I had a BBQ on the grill you bought six years ago. First time I have used it since then. Even though I couldn’t eat anything but baked beans and potato salad I fixed cheeseburgers, BBQ shredded pork, potato salad, baked beans, and Bill Poore brought over Cole slaw. My friends TJ brought a cauliflower salad, Charles brought a green salad and tomatoes, lettuce, onions, and pickles and a Jay brought a chocolate pie... We had a nice gathering. Dennis Lee couldn’t make it because of some festival in Taylorsville that was blocking his driveway and can’t get out. Later I heard that a fight broke out there after the fireworks when some teenage girl was spraying Bear Mace at people. LOL Taylorsville! It was a beautiful evening and I had a little baked beans and potato salad but that is all. Kent and Bill had to leave after dinner but the rest of us went into the movie room and watched Some Like It Hot. I think everyone had a great time. The pups were all well behaved even Sophie was pretty well behaved and not biting everyone. I was wiped out the next day and did very little except read from Sidney Rigdon’s biography and snooze. I bought a watermelon and a canary melon at Rancho Market. I was craving a watermelon and since it's mostly water it shouldn't do me any harm. I gave my Eccle Theater tickets to Richard Harmston and Charles Bigo who said they had a good time at the Broadway Show Dirty Dancing. I gave my VIP tickets to Kent Scadlock and Dennis Lee for the Arts Festival.  Other than that it was a very mellow day.  Sunday was New York Pride Day. I guess in Chicago a Pride Flag with the Star of David on it caused a lot of drama for the Social Justice Warriors who wanted it banned from the Dyke March parade. Social Justice Warriors are tearing the Gay community apart... Jews can't March, cops can't March, they want to add black and brown to the rainbow flag. Where will it end? Monday little Sophie the pup and Miley went home to their owners and while I was sad to see the puppy go, it was a glad lonesome. She wore m out for sure. Monday was the 14th anniversary of the Lawrence vs Texas decision that made sodomy legal, the 4th anniversary when the Defense of Marriage Act was overturned, and the 2nd anniversary of Marriage Equality in America. June 26th should be our Gay Holiday.  Today is the 48th anniversary of the raid on the Stonewall Inn.  Can’t believed I have lived through all of it.  I met with a young kid today who wanted some research on the murder of Tony Adams in 1978 and tomorrow I am having someone come and cut the deadwood out of my poplar trees and tree back my two globe willows. That will be at least a $1000. I still haven’t received my bill from my Bariatric Surgery. I am sure it won’t be pretty. Well I want to get this off in the mail so will close for now. As I always was and shall be Your Friend Ben

 

28 June 2017 Wednesday

So much for having my trees trimmed today... The fellow that I hired mixed the days up and thought it was tomorrow...I told him I can't on Thursday because I am taking friends to the airport and have a dental appointment for a check up and cleaning... Finally found a dentist near me that takes Medicare supplemental... It's been a year and a half since a check up and cleaning... The trees aren't going any where. Besides I took a 2 hour nap after doing some yard clean up and a 20 minute soak in my cleaned hot tub... Now that was heaven. I am so lucky to have such sweet people in my life...Charles Bigo brought me a 4th of July Bouquet just because...I need to relearn how to cook...made German potato salad with bacon, onions, red bell peppers, chives, vinegar, sugar and mustard...and about a 1/3 of a cup was all I could eat of it... Kyle Foote called about 7 pm. Told his that I mailed a copy of his diploma to him. He also said he got all the money I had put into his account. At 1 am in the morning on this date in 1969 under a full moon Gay Liberation was born. I was 18 ... just graduated from high school and on a road trip to the Kern's River with John Cunningham... It was a long strange journey to get to where I am today...

·         Charles Bigo Hi Ben. Just talked to Troy H. who said he had seen your post about the flowers I brought over the other day. I thank you for your post. I never received it so that is why I never noted it to you. But I DO want to thank you for doing that. It was very nice of you! Thanks, Charles

·         Me Strange how FB selects what posts people see... I need your address so I can deliver a pie tomorrow... I will call before coming over.

 

29 June 2017 Thursday

This morning when I came into the kitchen I saw a hummingbird outside my kitchen window flitting around my firecracker plant. The Hummingbird is a totem for joy so its going to be a joyous day.  I took Jay Vallar and Greg Allen to the airport this morning about 8:30. They are fleeing to Canada for Jay's birthday which is tomorrow. I mowed my front yard this morning and I filled out another visitation form with a copy of my social security card and drivers license so I can go see Kyle Foote. Hopefully this time I have all the right stuff.  At 11 am I went for a dental check up and a cleaning at a dentist nearby that took Medicare... Well found out that Medicare pays for virtually nothing even with supplemental dental plan... Long story short he said I needed a deep cleaning rather than a regular cleaning which Medicare would have paid but not the deep cleaning which would have been over $700 out of my own pocket. I said no thanks...I didn't even gave a toothache... All in all he wanted about $3000 worth of work done.... For that money I could have dentures lol....So I drove up to Centerville to my old dentist office and bought their insurance for $110 which would bring what I needed done by a ¼.  Big Brother started yesterday but I only watched it tonight.

 

30 June 2017 Friday

So I wake up at 3:30 hearing Harleigh barking outside. I get up to call him inside instead he runs into the backyard. So I go down and coax him to come up and then I carry him into the house. By that time I am wide awake and can't get back to sleep so I went through my medicine closet and started throwing out crap that had been sitting expired in there for years...then read a little bit and finally doze off about 5 and got to sleep a little more until Coco came bounding in jumping on the bed happy to greet everyone. So then everyone is barking for their morning treats... Never a dull moment at the House of the Barking Dogs... Took a jaunt out to Daybreak this afternoon to visit with Jim and T.J. They are caring for a sick kitty and it's hard for them to get out. Their cat Fritz is 18 years old and can’t use his back legs any longer. If it was me I’d had put him down but I truly understand their feelings.. We had a good two hour visit and TJ made me some homemade egg drop soup...lots of people on the road. I guess getting ready for the holiday weekend.  I finished reading Van Wagoner’s biography of Sidney Rigdon.

·         Brandon Burt You know, I'm on speed dial for every itinerant fag in town who needs help moving, or installing a light fixture, or needs something proofread, but it never seems like I'll ever be finished proving myself. Oops, sorry Papa Bear, i meant fag *and bisexual* lol

·         Edgar Lol I've learned to say sorry no can do in my old age... The time I have left has to be devoted to preserving all that I have gathered and research

·         Brandon That is your life's work, Ben Someday these party circuit idiots may actually benefit from knowing a little bit about how things got this way

·         Edgar Bisexuality is still to me a Gay learners permit otherwise a person is just a sex addict lol

·         Brandon Haha. Sex addicts taste good too. I don't discriminate. If he wants to say he's straight that's fine with me too. It was irritating back when coming out was a matter of survival but things are different now, aren't they? I hate the term "post gay" but now it seems instead of gays vs. straights, now things can just go back to bring men vs. women again. I just got involved with partying a little too hard is all. But of course I don't know how to do it right; i fell in love with a drug dealer. A narcissist who took full advantage of the situation. I'm still heartbroken over it.

·         Edgar Oh you poor pointy headed foolish man...

·         Brandon God he's a beautiful man. And he seems so warm and lovely to be around when he's in the charming phase of his narcissistic cycle.

·         Edgar The heart never listens to the head

·         Brandon Then he gets really mean. Yeah that's for sure. I'll tell you about it; maybe we can get together for tea or something later this week. Or I mean next week, whatever. And poor Dave! I'm a prick.

·         Edgar That would be good... I was in love with a narcissist ... He's in prison now and in recovery lol

·         Brandon I think that's what I was most upset about. I can't think of myself as one of the good guys, not after this.

·         Edgar Yes you probably were

·         Brandon Really, was it that guy who ran you into card debt and built your deck?

·         Edgar Yes

·         Brandon People don't understand what it's like to be taken hostage by a narcissist. They say, just get over it. But ... it's not like that.

·         Edgar But people are action verbs we can change

·         Brandon We're empaths, and it's a terrible thing. But if the guy asked me to come over tonight I'd drop everything and go right over.

·         Edgar Therapy Of course you would and then hate yourself because he will never give you want you needed

·         Brandon Exactly. In fact, Ive been reading and listening to this blog by H G Tudor, it's told from the point of view of a British narcissistic sociopath. All narcissists operate in pretty much the same way. but the way he tells it is much more gripping and well phrased than a lot of online resources. It's really quite grim when you get right down to it. But 12 years ago I fell for Lincoln. I think I'm doomed to have run-ins with those monsters until I finally learn the lesson.

·         Edgar There is no lesson to be learn just experiences

·         Brandon This one gutted me badly enough I think it opened up some core wounds from when I was 4. LOL. I realized my dad is a narcissist and that's why I'm primed to enslave myself to them. No lesson, eh? What do you mean?

·         Edgar Lessons imply you are meant to be taught something... Experiences are things you can learn from ... My father wasn't a narcissist... They are just charismatic individuals that we find compelling

·         Brandon Well, mine belongs in prison. He's an abusive prick. But yeah sooner or later I gotta stop blaming dear old dad. This was all me. At first it was just a bit o' fun, I was getting over the post chemo recovery doldrums. I realized that the rest of my useful life was mapped out before me. And I wanted to be somebody else for a year. So that's what i did. Now I have to go back to being Brandon. Ugh.

·         Edgar Brandon is a pretty good guy to be

·         Brandon Thanks, Ben. I actually think he might be more likable than whoever this crazy kid was. Not as eager to please now, maybe? That's probably a good thing. I love you, Ben. Thank you for listening to me. God. Wait till I show you photos!  LOL, This whole year is really well documented. I think I'll fictionalize it and it might make a novel

·         Edgar Perfect ... Write that novel...that is what experiences are for

·         Brandon  Oh my god, there is adventure and intrigue and unrequited love and ... COSTUME JEWELRY. Oh my god, you won't believe how tweakers love costume jewelry. There was this collection amassed by an obsessive fag, he would spend every last penny he had on drugs and costume jewelry from DI. For years. And so this whole apartment was FILLED with it. It became like the treasure of the Sierra Madre. There were people scheming for it, a big pirate's chest of it got stolen right out of our music room, and then that kept getting stolen back and forth between the factions ... oh it was madness. This was all going on literally half a block from the state capitol building. Anyway, I'll tell ya all about it later. I better go look after the guests.

·         Edgar Hey bud, would you join in trying to raise awareness for prostate cancer? (only men). Can you please put a eightball on your wall don't comment then send this on to all your male friends. Hold your finger on this message and hit forward. Thanks

·         Brandon I thought I did that already ... how many times do I have to finger that prostate? :P:

·         Edgar Use something bigger

·         Brandon I'm sure I don't know what you mean.  How are you, my friend?

·         Edgar For an old dude I am doing well...I had bariatric surgery last month to put my diabetes in remission... I miss food though

·         Brandon Are you all svelte and trim now? Who was your surgeon?

·         Edgar I've lost 20 lbs. since May 22.. Had it done up at the u of u...

·         Brandon And now ... no more diabetes?

·         Edgar Dr. Volckmann was my doctor... The diabetes is in remission

·         Brandon So what else is new? How's the retired life treating you?

·         Edgar Loving it especially since I am getting a pension and SS monthly so about 2/3 what my salary was... I have 5 pups, 4 were rescued dogs, that keep me company and entertained. I do a once a month lecture series on Gay history (no LGBT hybrid for me) and I have people over...So I stay busy writing and keeping house and yard up... Do you know an Eric Peterson? He picked my brain earlier this week on Tony Adams death

·         Brandon I'm so glad, Ben. When/where are the lectures. Yes, Eric is one of the City Weekly news writers. He's a hell of a nice guy, kinda cute scruffy little dude, hopelessly straight. I've been looking for a photo of him, I'm sure I’ve got it I"m just not sure where it is. What do you think about Tony's death? (Gods, it's depressing to look back at photos from that era, and see how stealthily, gradually, the psychopath started taking over my life until, a few months later, he's in practically every frame.) Not Eric. I meant my narcissist.

·         Edgar lol ... I think the police purposely lost or misplaced evidence on Tony. Eric said the detective who was handling the case said they had no evidence that Tony was Gay... Narcissists are trouble for sure ... Especially for good hearted people

·         Brandon Well, I was good-hearted before I got caught up with that motherfucker. LOL. I mean, there's good and bad in all of us, right? He just happens to be really, really evil sometimes. Could you remind me about the Tony Adams case? It's not that guy from Park City? I feel awful because it was probably big news and I was busy being all self-absorbed and completely missed it.

·         Edgar You wouldn't remember... You was just a baby. Happened in 1978 a few weeks before Harvey Milk was murdered. Tony was a Gay black man and activist leader in the Socialist Workers Party here in SLC...he was involved in organizing the Anita Bryant protest... Bob Waldrop and Tony's boyfriend discovered the body when they broke into his apt after not hearing from him in a few days. He had been stabbed to death and had his throat slashed blood atonement style... The murder weapon disappeared from the police evidence room. In the police department it was joked Nigger, Queer, Commie. three strikes and you are out. The National Socialist Workers Party came to SLC demanding his death be investigated as a political Assassination as he was campaign manager for the SWP candidate and he was murdered a few days before the election... The police did nothing and Bob graffiti all over downtown Who Killed Tony Adams? His was one of a series of murders of Gay people in SLC that year... His death caused the activist community to shut down for several years until a new group of young Turks from LGSU took over... Few know about Tony and it's still considered an open case some 40 years later.

·         Brandon Oh wow you know I remember you telling me about this years ago. I knew Bob Waldrop. I wonder what Tony's boyfriend's name was?

·         Edgar Bill Woodbury... He's passed away now

·         Brandon Well, I mean, I knew him in that I sat up late with him a few nights and listened to him talk about Libertarianism and the problem with the young folk these days is they're always wearing too many clothes. Hm. I don't remember Bill Woodbury at all ... I'll see if I can find a photo

·         Edgar The guy in overalls is Bill Woodbury... The guy in the middle is a very young Mark Lawrence

·         Brandon

·         Mark was way cute ... that guy in the ac/dc shirt looks familiar too

·         Edgar Reich was his last name...

·         Brandon Thank God for you, Ben Williams! I was just getting lost for a moment in your blog because that is where the search term "Bill Woodbury salt lake city" gay activist led me

·         Edgar About 1979

·         Brandon Yes, before the Ronald drained all the fun out of everything.

·         Edgar Pre AIDS

·         Brandon Have you noticed, Ben, that there are an awful lot of gays around these days?

·         Edgar We kicked the door open for them

·         Brandon Sometimes I catch myself thinking, "this is TOO MUCH, there are just TOO MANY GAYS" lol But I mean half of our generation died, so we're just not used to seeing what a real generation of gays looks like.

·         Edgar True

·         Brandon Do you know I still am pretty much an anal virgin? LOL. Sucks to be me. The young'uns look at me like I'm a circus freak kinda. I mean, they get it, it's just ... I dunno. Those kids are nasty these days! I am a prude now. Honestly. I kind of disapprove of these hotel parties they have. All that unprotected sex. All that unscotch guarded fabric.

·         Maybe it's resentment. But mostly it's concern. I'm worried they'll stir up something like AIDS or worse than AIDS in that cauldron of body fluids. Maybe "anal virgin" is taking it too far. I've had stuff up there, I just haven't enjoyed it. LOL

·         Edgar I wasn't called Butt Love for nothing lol ... Boys will be boys

·         Brandon LOL for sure. Do you read the Queeriscope in QSL? Remind me to tell you something about that next time I see you.  I know, I wonder if it's too late for this old dog to learn new tricks? A friend of mine gave me a buttplug

·         Edgar Get the training model lol