Autumn 4th Quarter Journal 2000 October-December

 

OCTOBER 2000

1 October 2000  Sunday

Board of Trustees of Gay and Lesbian Community Center of Utah

Lynn Frost of Franklin Covey Company President of the Board, Terry S. Kogan Associate Dean, School of  Law, University of Utah Vice President of the Board, Stephanie Pappas Treasurer, Margaret Evans Secretary, Cathy Martinez Social Worker Member at Large and Multicultural Chair, Cary N. Stringfellow Manager, Club Axis Member At Large and Intergenerational Chair, Karen Engle Professor – School of Law, University of Utah Chair of Youth Committee. Mary Callis Student – University of Utah Co Chair, Tyler Fisher – MSM Outreach Coordinator

Kent Frogley Vice President/Marketing – Franklin Covey Chair of Marketing Committee, Jared Wood Y.W.C.A. Chair of Fund Raising Committee, Adriane Wright  Volunteer Coordinator of Rotating Art Show.

Staff of GLCCU Paula Wolfe, Ph.D. Executive Director, Darin R. Hobbs, M.S. Assistant Director of Operations and Financial Director.

Stonewall Coffee Staff Anika Webb Manager, Devin Daines, Arik Herman, Shane Stroud, Kerrie Thometz, Heather Thorpe, and Brooke Woffinden. 

After October General Conference Affirmation held a Fireside at Metropolitan Community Church, 823 S 600 E in Salt Lake.

 

 

 

4 October 2000 Wednesday

"I have scheduled our first club meeting for October 4th, 7PM in SC215.  Please come and bring your friends!  (SC215 is in the UVSC  student center, upstairs from the bookstore, the room by the College Times office; there is visitor parking on both the north and south ends of campus now).   "RECHARTERING: Anyone can be a member of our club, but chartering means getting 6 UVSC STUDENTS to sign the recharter form.  It also means having a president, vice president, treasurer, and secretary, which needs to be voted on during our first meeting.  If we are not  chartered, we will lose our funds, our web site, and any official club status we have enjoyed for the last 5 years."

Thanks to the moderator for letting me join this list.  I know this post isn't BYU related, so apologies in advance if being off topic is bothersome. The following two paragraphs are from Lee Mortensen, the Utah Valley  State College Lesbian Gay Straight Alliance's faculty sponsor.  In  previous semesters our membership has gone down and our club is  presently at risk of loosing official status.  If you can attend,  please do. --Jaron

 

 

7 October 2000 Saturday

The Salt Lake Tribune Parents of Gay Children Call LDS Pamphlets 'Insensitive'

BY BOB MIMS AND PEGGY FLETCHER STACK

Mormon parents of gay children are pleading with church leaders to halt distribution of decades-old pamphlets they say condemn their offspring as "latter-day lepers," contrary to recent conciliatory statements by LDS Church President Gordon B. Hinckley.

   At a Friday news conference, staged on the eve of this weekend's 170th Semiannual General Conference of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, David Hardy, a former Mormon bishop, said the language of the 20- to 30-year-old pamphlets "engenders fear and loathing" toward gay LDS youth.

   At issue were four publications in particular: To Young Men Only, To the One, Letter to a Friend and For the Strength of Youth. Hardy, who was joined Friday by his wife, Carlie, and three other LDS couples, said numerous letters to church officials -- copies of which were provided to reporters -- had been met by "at best, kindly indifference."

   The pamphlets cause "parents to condemn and turn against their gay children, destroying real families, and drive our gay children to self-loathing, despair and suicide," Hardy said.

   Hardy, a Salt Lake City lawyer, also said it was embarrassing to him as a Mormon that To Young Men Only  -- in which Boyd K. Packer, president of the church's Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, recounts how a young man "floored" a presumably gay missionary companion -- was being distributed about the same time two men were tried for the 1998 beating death of Matthew Shepard, a gay Wyoming student.

   "It is difficult for us to understand," Hardy said, saying that pamphlet in particular was "inflammatory, insensitive and troubling."

   The parents said the pamphlets' tone contrasts sharply with Hinckley's assurances that church leaders "reach out to those who refer to themselves as gays and lesbians. We love and honor them as sons and daughters of God. They are welcome in the church."

   It was a theme repeated late Friday in a statement by Harold C. Brown, managing director of LDS Church Welfare Services, who did not deny the pamphlets were still being used.

   "These are individuals who are children of God. We love them; we respect them," he said. "This church is a church of inclusion, not exclusion, and we welcome them and want them to be a part of the church."

   Still, Provo resident Gary Watts, joined by his wife Millie, told reporters such sentiments are incongruent with the church's continued distribution of "these pamphlets which characterize our children and other gay and lesbian youth as selfish, perverted, abominable and under the control of Lucifer . . . . "

   Holladay residents Ted Packard, a psychologist, and his wife Kay, a clinical social worker, noted that such attitudes led their gay son to leave Utah years ago. The young man had concluded that "the climate in our community  . . . was neither understanding, hospitable nor accepting," they said.

   -- In To Young Men Only, Packer urges Mormon youths to "vigorously resist" men who try to entice them to join in "immoral acts." As for violent response to such advances, the senior apostle in the quorum wrote, "I am not recommending that course to you, but I am not omitting it. You must protect yourself."

   Brown said such self-protection fell far short of any support for gay bashing. "I think you'd have to stretch a long ways to come up with the idea that these pamphlets advocate violence," he insisted. "They do not."

   --  In Letter to a Friend, late LDS Church President Spencer W. Kimball wrote that "it were better that such a man [homosexual] were never born."

   --  For the Strength of Youth, the parents complained, labels homosexuality as a perversion in the same league with rape and incest.

   -- To the One, another Packer product first printed in 1978, condemns homosexuality as "unnatural," "abnormal" and an "affliction," while insisting same-sex yearnings can be cured.

   "If they fail to change it is [allegedly] because they haven't tried hard enough, haven't been to enough therapy, haven't prayed and fasted enough, don't have enough faith -- haven't been good enough," Hardy said. "This works like a cancer on our children's self-esteem and emotional well-being."

   It also sometimes leads to attempted suicide, said his wife, Carlie Hardy.

   Some years ago, the Hardys faced that reality when their son, Judd -- unable to reconcile his Mormon faith and his homosexuality -- slashed his wrists. He survived, but the experience propelled his parents to offer unconditional love to their son, despite church teachings.

   Still, the decision to publicize their concerns at a press conference was not an easy one.

   "We realize that many will think it is improper or confrontational for us to resort to a public statement on this issue," said David Hardy.

   "We ask the church leadership to specifically address these pamphlets . . . and either endorse them and everything they say as current, correct and official, or cease their publication and distribution and instruct local church leaders to throw them away," Hardy said.

   Added Carlie Hardy: "If we get excommunicated for loving our son, then so be it."

 

 

9 October 2000 Monday

In the news Google completed the acquisition of YouTube for more than a billion and half dollars for online video sharing. I use Google a lot but I don’t see the point of watching something instead of reading and doing research.

 

The Salt Lake Tribune East High Students Honored In 'Coming Out Day' Party BY LORI BUTTARS  

Fresh on the heels of the decision to reinstate gay clubs in Salt Lake City schools, students from East High School were honored Sunday at Utah's National Coming Out Day celebration at Sugar House Park.

    "They've fought the battle for four long years," said organizer Gareth Atkinson. "Now, every child in Utah knows that it's OK to be gay, thanks to the East High Gay, Straight Alliance."

   Natalie Taylor, East High student organizer, accepted the award. "This award is for all of you previous students," she said. "I know we have it much easier today because of what you went through."

   Sunday's celebration attracted about 1,000 Utahns, who gathered for a barbecue and to listen to politicians. The celebration has been held every year since Oct. 11, 1987, when the Human Rights Campaign for Gay Lesbian Bisexual and Transgendered people marched on Washington, D.C.

   With the November election just around the corner, the celebration took on a political theme. Guest speakers included Salt Lake Mayor Rocky Anderson and state Rep. Jackie Biskupski. The only politician who spoke that is running for office in November was Karen Crompton, candidate for the new Salt Lake County mayor.

   Atkinson said that Crompton's opponent, Nancy Workman, was not invited because of "statements she's made publicly that don't put her in harmony with what we are doing here today."

   Anderson outlined some of the changes that have occurred in the area of gay rights since the Stonewall riots in 1969. He got a big cheer from the crowd when he concluded with his own executive order "to promote and retain people of diversity" with in city government.

    "Hopefully, one day, the rest of the country will be looking at Salt Lake City and saying 'If they can do it there, we can do it, ' " he said. "Wouldn't that be something?"

   Salt Lake County has had a similar policy for 10 years, Crompton noted as she vowed to include "everybody in as we come together as 15 communities in one county."

   As the state's first openly gay legislator, Biskupski shared her own coming-out story, which she said did not occur until she decided to run for public office. "Hiding was stifling for me," she said. "I'm happier . . . I'm able to share and be more in control of my own life and it's time that we all felt we are more in control of our own lives."

   Thirteen years after the first National Coming Out Day, things are getting easier for Utah gays and lesbians, Atkinson said, adding that "the battle is far from over." He called on Utah leaders to get behind hate-crime legislation that would include sexual orientation along with racial, religious and other special interest groups.

    "Things have changed, the reversal by the school board to include a club for gays, chief among them," he said. "We also have politicians in our midst today. Thirteen years ago, we were talking at them. Now we are talking with them."

 

12 October 2000 Thursday

Utah Gays Making Real Strides U. panel cites support from some Mormons;   Gays Making Positive Strides in Utah BY ASHLEY ESTES   THE SALT LAKE TRIBUNE

Being gay in Utah still presents unique challenges, given the state's conservative majority, but positive strides are being made at the University of Utah, in Salt Lake City and throughout the state, said a group of faculty and student panelists assembled for National Coming Out Day.

   "People underestimate how many GLBT [gay, lesbian, bisexual and transsexual] people there are here," said Katy Schumann, a panelist who works for a human rights organization. "We can be part of the turnaround this city is taking."

   Other panelists pointed to what they say is more acceptance by heterosexuals, including some Mormons. They cited efforts by Mormon parents of gay children to urge leaders of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints to discontinue distribution of four pamphlets using inflammatory language about homosexuality.

   "It's great there are people in the church who are working on it," Schumann said.

   Panelist Brenda Voisard, coordinator of counseling services at the university's Women's Resource Center, said she has close friends who are Mormons, and believes such relationships help break down an "us and them" mentality.

   The LDS Church on Sunday took a firm stance against homosexuality, with Apostle Boyd K. Packer, acting president of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, condemning same-sex attractions as "unnatural" and asserting the church will never accept homosexuality as inborn.

   Two panelists -- L. Kay Harward, the university's associate vice president for enrollment management, and student Jason Satterfield -- said they were raised in Mormon families and struggled with feelings of guilt and anguish after realizing their sexual orientation.

   "I thought I was evil and sick, the only one," Harward said.

   Satterfield said he tried to pray his homosexuality away before he learned to accept it.

   "You don't have to give up God," Schumann told about 20 people assembled for the discussion. "You don't have to go through a filter to get to God. If there were out people in Jesus' day, you know he would have been all about us."

   The gathering was sponsored by the Lesbian/Gay Student Union as part of National Coming Out Week events at the university. The union is working to establish a gay and lesbian center, where faculty, staff and students could meet, discuss issues and make materials and resources available to the homosexual community.

   Despite some gains, living in Utah is still a challenge for homosexuals, Voisard said. At the Millennium March in Washington, D.C., "you can walk down the street holding hands and get smiles. You can walk down the street holding hands in Salt Lake and you don't get smiled at."

   Voisard said she and her long-term partner rarely go to restaurants because of the stares they get from other patrons when holding hands. She said she would enjoy being seen on campus and elsewhere as "interesting, and not scary."

   Schumann acknowledged that "being GLBT in Salt Lake City is not the same as in New York," but called the city's homosexual community "an untapped resource."

   The panelists urged those present to continue speaking out in support of gay rights. "You as an individual have a lot more power than you think," said Andrea Moulding, a student and past co-president of the U.'s Lesbian/Gay Student Union.

   Harward pointed to hate-crimes legislation and the fact that politicians are more interested in gay issues as positive signs for the future. The state hate-crimes bill, which would protect gays and lesbians from hate crimes because of sexual orientation, is raised in the Utah Legislature every year, but fails. He said he remains optimistic because it continues to be introduced annually.

   Harward said it heartens him that high schoolers can now be seen in gay and lesbian centers -- a far cry from when he was growing up years ago.

   "It's encouraging to me that there are young people willing to be who they are," he said.

 

 

18 October 2000 Wednesday

Gwen Verdon the legendary Broadway dancer died today. She was in one of my favorite movies Damn Yankees with Tab Hunter. NEA Conference Weekend starts tomorrow so it will be a 4 day weekend. I remember when it used to coincide with the Deer Hunt Weekend so kids could go with their dads hunting. I don’t think anybody does that anymore.

 

30 October 2000 Monday

Steve Allen died today. He was a pioneering television personality, comedian, and multi-talented artist who significantly influenced American entertainment. He was the first host of The Tonight Show. I liked his his dry humor.

 

31 October 2000 Tuesday

The kids had their school wide Halloween Parade which I think is fun but a lot of teachers hate it. Too bad. We had a party in the afternoon and watched It’s the Great Pumpkin. Room mothers didn’t do anything this year so I let them have a read-a-thon as well so they could eat snacks. I brought in red punch. Kids are too hyper on this day to do much work.

            In the news Russia sent a mixed crew of Russians and Americans to the space station.

 

NOVEMBER 2000

1 November 2000 Wednesday

It’s November already and Parent Teacher’s conferences next week. Ugh. Very long days. All the Halloween bulletin boards are cleared and I stayed late after school putting of November Turkeys. We will be singing patriotic songs out of the song books I made for the kids because of Veteran Day.

 

2 November 2000 Thursday

The Salt Lake Tribune At BYU, Lying And Lesbianism Take the Stage in  'Children's Hour' 'Children's Hour' Has a New  Take at BYU BY SCOTT C. MORGAN   THE SALT LAKE TRIBUNE Ever since it premiered on Broadway in 1934, Lillian Hellman's drama "The Children's Hour" has stirred up controversy. Although its 1936 film adaptation, "These Three," erased all traces of its controversial subject matter, the 1962 film version of "The Children's Hour" starring Audrey Hepburn and Shirley MacLaine helped break down barriers in Hollywood's Hays Production code, allowing a large American audience to catch a glimpse of the once-taboo issue of homosexuality. This week, "The Children's Hour" opens at Brigham Young University in Provo, where it will be anyone's guess how the play will be received. The plot for "The Children's Hour" comes directly from real-life events of 1810. In Edinburgh, Scotland, a vindictive girl accused two of her school headmistresses of lesbianism. The girl's grandmother spread the slanderous rumors, which eventually ruined the once-respected girls' boarding school and drove one of the women to suicide. For her first play, Hellman transferred the plot to a small Massachusetts town in the 1930s to powerfully show how malicious lies can destroy people's lives. She also exposed the harsh cruelty laid down on those who might fall outside societal norms. In the process, Hellman also brought to the stage Martha Dobie, who was "perhaps the first Gay character who wasn't an out-and-out stereotype, but a dramatic, sympathetic person," according to Fran Pruyn, who directed "The Children's Hour" in 1979 for the New Shakespeare Players (later to become TheatreWorks West). Pruyn, who says she has been openly Gay in Utah for about 20 years, points out that there have been hundreds of more positive and honest depictions of Gay and lesbian characters in literature and theater since the self-loathing Martha, but the fact that Martha existed was still important. "She was perhaps the only lesbian in American theater that was fairly visible up until the late 1960s," Pruyn said. At BYU, the take on the character of Martha is completely different. "That isn't what the play is about," said part-time BYU theater instructor Laurie Harrop-Purser, who was assigned to direct "Children's Hour." "It's about someone who gets caught up in a lie." She said that she thinks, within the play, if a homosexual relationship between the teachers hadn't been rumored by the students, Martha would not have considered it. "Even if she did have any of those feelings, I don't think that's who she is." Harrop-Purser's views were echoed by actress Christina Davis, the BYU senior who plays Martha. "I don't feel that she is actually a lesbian. What really drives her is her search for love," Davis said, referring to her character's enigmatic behavior as a form of co-dependency with the soon-to-be married teacher Karen Wright. "I think she never really experienced real love. Once the lie comes out, she thinks, 'Well, maybe this is the truth,' and actually says it. It's a last, desperate attempt to cling on." Whatever the interpretations behind Martha's motivations, the issues brought up in "The Children's Hour" have a contemporary relevance for many in Utah. In recent years, Spanish Fork High School teacher Wendy Weaver went to court when the Nebo School District tried to restrict her speech because she is a lesbian. The Salt Lake school board tried to squelch a Gay-straight student alliance that was forming at East High School in the 1995-96 school year. But to many Gays and lesbians working in Utah's theater community, "The Children's Hour" brings to mind the recent suicide of Stuart Matis, a 1994 BYU graduate who could not reconcile his homosexual feelings with his LDS upbringing. About two weeks before Californians voted this year on Proposition 22, the ballot initiative barring same-sex marriages in the state, Matis shot himself on the steps of a Mormon chapel in Los Altos, Calif. Many people close to Matis who were quoted in the national media said that the LDS Church's support of the initiative and the divisive anti-Gay comments that flowed across the state all hit Matis particularly hard. Pruyn likens Matis' situation to what Martha encounters in the play. "She was crumbling under society's pressures," Pruyn said. "There comes a time for many people when they realize that they are different and they have difficulty with the realization that they have to find a way to fit in with the rest of the world. Many people can't face that."   According to Harrop-Purser, "The Children's Hour" was scheduled for production long before Matis' suicide. "It's sad in both instances, in the play and what happened [in California]," she said, pointing out that the many strong women's roles in "The Children's Hour" was the reason behind its selection. Pruyn sees having "The Children's Hour" produced at BYU as an opportunity for discussion. "Even if it isn't positive, it is still discussion," she said.  controversial Playtime    "The Children's Hour" plays at the Harris Fine Arts Center Margetts Theatre on the campus of Brigham Young University in Provo tonight through Saturday, and Nov. 7-11 at 7:30 p.m. Tickets are $10, $8 for students and faculty. Call (801) 378-4322.

 

4 November 2000 Saturday

TO WOMEN OF ALL AGES IN THE SLC AREA: (guys, please forward to your womyn friends) You are personally invited to attend: THE FALL **SWERVE** SOCIAL Saturday, November 4^th 7:00pm at Oddfellow Hall (formerly the Barking Frog Restaurant) 39 S Market St (downtown across the street from Market Street Grill) Get ready for an exciting evening with lots of beautiful, interesting women, open bar (wine/beer included in $15 door donation), live music and dancing. Show your support for Swerve and bring a can of food for Homeless Youth Resources, a program of the Volunteers of America that provides a meal a day for homeless teens. $15* donation at the door and one food item per person. INVITE YOUR FRIENDS! The $15 donation covers Swerve's cost in hosting this event. Although a $15 donation is strongly requested, if you feel that due to personal circumstances you are unable to afford the requested amount, Swerve would appreciate a donation that is appropriate for you to assist in covering the cost of the event. Food items accepted by Volunteers of America: canned meals such as chili, ravioli, etc. and other non-perishable packaged meals such as macaroni/cheese and top ramen. SWERVE is an affiliated project of the Gay & Lesbian Community Center of Utah. Its mission is to strengthen the community through outreach activities/events in the social/political/educational arenas and promote positive lesbian visibility in Utah. If you have any questions about Swerve, you may contact the chair, Amy Sawyer

 

7 November 2000 Tuesday

Orchard had polling booths in the lobby so parking was crazy. The straw vote the kids did yesterday was overwhelmingly for Bush. No surprise there. Mike and I went to the Northwest Community Center after work and voted. I voted a straight Democratic Ticket because I will never vote for a Republican after their AIDS response. Hillary Rodham Clinton was elected as the United States Senator from New York, becoming the first former First Lady to be elected to public office in the United States.

 

8 November 2000 Wednesday

There is no clear winner of the Presidential election until Florida does a recount claiming some of the ballots had “hanging chads” the hole punches.

 

10 November 2000 Friday

The Salt Lake Tribune Abuser, LDS Leaders Dispute Confession Timing Molester says that the time limit for prosecution is up BY STEPHEN HUNT   THE SALT LAKE TRIBUNE LOGAN -- It was a confessed child molester's word against that of two LDS religious leaders in a 1st District courtroom Thursday, in a battle over whether charges should be dismissed. 

  Jay Toombs -- who had pleaded guilty to molesting two boys nearly 10 years ago -- claimed he had discovered entries in his old journals that show he confessed his crimes in 1994 to his LDS bishop. The bishop, Toombs claimed, then told a stake president, who also happened to work for the Cache County Attorney's Office.

Toombs said the journal entries proved the crimes were reported six years ago, which meant the statute of limitations expired in 1998. State law requires prosecution of child sex crimes within four years of the time a crime is reported to police or child welfare authorities.

But the bishop and stake president testified they only learned Toombs was a child molester within the past two years. Relying on the testimony of the church leaders, 1st District Judge Clint Judkins denied Toombs' motion to dismiss the case.

Toombs, 43, of Benson, faces a mandatory 5-years-to-life prison term when he is sentenced Dec. 11.    Charged with four counts of first-degree felony aggravated sexual abuse of a child, Toombs pleaded guilty to a single count in August. But days later, Toombs claims he found entries in an old Day-Timer journal detailing his conversation with Bishop Brent Bryant. "I want to clean everything up," Toombs claims he wrote on July 11, 1994.

Toombs also wrote that Bryant had relayed the crime information to LDS stake president and deputy county attorney Patrick Nolan. Toombs' ex-wife testified that she and Toombs did indeed meet with Bryant in 1994. But Bryant testified that any 1994 conversations with the couple were about Toombs' "homosexual problems," not child sex abuse.

Bryant recalled being "shocked" when he learned several years later about the child sex crimes.   It was Toombs' ex-wife who finally reported the abuse to the state Division of Child and Family Services, which reported the case to the sheriff's detectives, according to Cache County Attorney Scott Wyatt.

The case has been spotlighted by the media because three other bishops of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints apparently knew of Toombs' crimes, but did not report him.    Wyatt has said that he could not prosecute the three bishops for failing to report the abuse because the statute of limitations had expired.

Wyatt also said fail-to-report cases could not be brought against Nolan and Bryant for a number of reasons, including that their discussions with Toombs were protected by the confidentiality of the confessional. Confessions to clergy from perpetrators are legally protected under the First Amendment's guarantee of free exercise of religion. But under Utah law, any knowledge of child abuse received by clergy from other sources must be reported to police or child welfare authorities.    Toombs pleaded guilty to molesting a boy who was 11 years old at the time, as well as a second boy, who said Toombs abused him from the age of 7 until he was 11. Evidence at a March court hearing included a tape-recorded conversation between Toombs and one boy's mother in which Toombs can be heard vigorously denying that he had oral sex or other intimate contact with the boy.  Yet Toombs admitted: "I only fondled him . . . " Also, Toombs told a sheriff's investigator it had been "quite a few years" since he had been sexually involved with any young boys, and that he had skin-to-skin contact with only two of them. Prosecutor Wyatt said the Toombs case has sent a message to the public and clergy about their duty to report child abuse.

 

11 November 2000 Saturday

ROBERT KIRBY SALT LAKE TRIBUNE COLUMNIST It's time to wrap up our post election coverage by holding a special LDS Church court. If you are Mormon, and voted Democrat in Tuesday's election, you need to be disciplined. We can do this the hard way or the easy way. It's up to you. This refers, of course, to a pre-election comment by Rep. Bill Wright, of Utah County, who claimed that good Mormons could not in good conscience support the Democratic Party. Writing in the Payson Chronicle, Wright linked Utah Democrats to socialists, called Democrats pro-homosexual and claimed those who didn't change parties were in league with the moral evil of abortion.

Having voted for several Democrats on Tuesday, at least some of Bill's charges apply to me. I'm just not sure which ones. There are plenty of moral evils I am in league with, but abortion isn't one of them. Calling me pro-homosexual is an insult. Thanks to marriage, church, and increasing age, I'm barely pro-heterosexual anymore.

But if I were Gay, or, better yet, a lesbian, I would be very pro that it was none of your damn business. As for socialism, I am guilty only by association. Being married to a Canadian makes me at best a step-socialist.

I handle political decisions the same way I handle ecclesiastical ones: I listen, curse under my breath, ponder, pray, maybe take a little nap, then decide. I never let a group of people make up my mind for me. Not unless it's like a SWAT team or something. Decisions like this come down to personal rather than group priorities.

Bill and I have different ones. Homosexuality ranks way below telemarketing on my "Things People Do That Bug The Hell Out Of Me" list. To some people, this means I'm not a good Mormon. It's a snotty attitude that bothers me way more than socialism or abortion. Then I have to decide in good conscience whether to sit next to them in church, or go to jail for punching them in the head. But I digress.

The fact is that I am guilty of voting for some Democrats. Ditto at least one Libertarian, and a couple of free agents. I'm here to turn myself in. Because the official position of the LDS Church is that good members can in fact be Democrats, these proceedings are completely voluntary. It's punishment by the honor system.

Please consider yourself on immediate LDS Church probation if you voted for anyone other than a Republican (Pat Buchanan not included) on Tuesday. You still have to do all your church jobs while on probation, but your activity in and out of church will be closely monitored. Don't even turn left without signaling first.

Mormons that voted for just one Democrat are hereby placed on double secret probation. Cease performing your church callings, and move to the back row of chapel. If you voted for at least two (but no more than four) Democrats, you are hereby disfellowshipped. Turn in your temple recommend and all lesson manuals. Any attempt to cast a sustaining vote in church will result in immediate ejection.

If you voted the straight Democrat ticket, there is only one clear choice. Since Initiative X (blood atonement) failed to get on Tuesday's ballot, that just leaves excommunication. The good news is that we can change. There's a reason why Republican and repentance both start with R. Salt Lake Tribune columnist Robert Kirby lives in Springville. He welcomes mail at P.O. Box 684 Springville, UT, 84663.

 

 

The Salt Lake Tribune Novell Halts Boy Scout Contributions, Cites Its Anti-Discrimination Policy Novell to Stop Matching Funds To Boy Scouts BY BOB MIMS   THE SALT LAKE TRIBUNE Novell Inc. will no longer match employee contributions to the Boy Scouts of America, citing the youth organization's exclusion of homosexual scoutmasters as a violation of the company's anti-discrimination policies. The Provo-based software firm has matched employee donations to a variety of charities through its Community Support Campaign for the past five years. However, company executives decided to end Scouting's participation in the wake of the U.S. Supreme Court's 5-4 ruling in June upholding the Scouts' right to exclude Gays. "Novell has criteria for organizations that can participate [in the campaign]. It is a fairly standard line about not discriminating on the basis of race, religion or sexual orientation," Novell spokesman Bruce Lowry said Friday. "The Boy Scouts of America no longer complies with that requirement, based on the Supreme Court decision."    Novell's decision was not expected to have much impact on the bottom lines of local Scouting programs, however. No more than 5 percent of the $100,000 Community Support Program, or about $5,000, has ever made it into Scouting coffers nationwide during the five years the youth organization was included in donations, the company said. The National Parks Boy Scout Council, based in Utah County, where about 2,500 of Novell's 4,600 worldwide employees reside, received roughly half the matching funds, according to Ron Nyman, the council's director of field service. "Our records only show that last year we received a total of $5,300 from Novell, with the corporate matching funds coming to about $2,650," he said. Kay Godfrey, spokesman for the BSA's Great Salt Lake Council, could not recall any specific matching funds coming from Novell. Lowry acknowledged there had been some "internal discussions" about the matching funds before the Scouts were excluded, but underscored the decision was clearly in keeping with Novell's anti-discrimination policies. "Our employees are aware of this, and Novell continues to support a vast number of other charities with this program," Lowry said, adding that individual employees' rights to donate to the Scouts would not be challenged. Lowry acknowledges the company's decision may raise the ire of some Utahns, given the more than 150,000 scouts in the state -- 90 percent of whom are sponsored by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. But, he said, they need to understand Novell's status as an international corporation. "Utahns tend to look at Novell as just a Utah company. The headquarters are here, but we are a global company," he said. "We have to ensure we have a very open, competitive work situation" reflected in anti-discrimination policies common to international corporations. Whether Novell's decision will bring a pro-Scout backlash remains to be seen, but Nyman said he and other Scouting officials certainly won't encourage that. "As an organization, we have chosen not to beat up on anyone who makes this kind of decision," he said. "That is their right, and we will go on and we are confident that we will continue to be funded. We're not concerned about this." A separate charitable funding organization, the United Way of the Great Salt Lake Area, has found Utahns largely unconcerned about the Scouts' anti-Gay stance. Kristi Long, chief operating officer for the United Way's Salt Lake City office, said telephone calls and letters since the Supreme Court ruling have been overwhelmingly in favor of the organization's $188,000 annual donation to the Scouts. That overall support is reflected by the fact that few have chosen to withhold their donations from the Scouts. Out of the tens of thousands of pledge cards the United Way is receiving this year, just 50 so far have specified their money not go to Scouting, Long said.

   e-mail: bmims@sltrib.com

 

12 November 2000 Sunday

The Salt Lake Tribune Tim Miller Gets on His 'Glory Box' for Gay Rights BY SCOTT C. MORGAN   THE SALT LAKE TRIBUNE

The name of performance artist Tim Miller will always be linked with the word "controversial." For 20 years, Miller has combined art with activism by making aspects of his personal life public in solo performance-art pieces. With titles such as "My Queer Body," "Naked Breath" and "Fruit Cocktail," Miller's pieces deal with all kinds of Gay identity issues.

This week, Miller visits Salt Lake City's Rose Wagner Performing Arts Center for two performances of "Glory Box" -- perhaps his most personal and politically charged work to date.

Miller is infamously known in the United States along with Karen Finley, Holly Hughes and John Fleck as one of the "NEA Four" -- artists who had their grants from the National Endowment for the Arts overturned in 1990 because their work dealing with issues of homosexuality and feminism was deemed obscene.

Miller and his colleagues successfully sued the government to have their grants reinstated, only to have part of the decision overturned in 1998 by the Supreme Court, which deemed that "standards of decency" are constitutional criteria for federal funding of the arts.

 Meanwhile, Miller has forged ahead with his work. In his career, he has taught performance at UCLA and Cal State and was instrumental in helping to found the premier performance art spaces P.S. 122 in New York City and The Highways in Santa Monica, Calif., where he served as artistic director until last year. (Both venues celebrated their respective 20th and 10th anniversaries last year.) Miller decided to step down from his Highways position to tour in "Glory Box," in which he tackles the politically prickly issue of same-sex marriage. By sharing his personal battles with the U.S. government to stay together with his Australian partner of six years, Alistair McCartney, Miller exposes what he says is just one of many inequities Gay American citizens face today. "Relationships are hard enough without your government trying to destroy it," Miller said from his home in Southern California. At the moment, McCartney is attending Antioch University in Los Angeles on a student visa for an MFA in writing. But once the visa expires, he might be deported. In the creation of "Glory Box," Miller used this Australian colloquial equivalent to a hope chest to demonstrate the plight of Gay and lesbian couples who are not allowed to marry. He drew from his childhood memories of his mother's hope chest in creating the piece. "I remember as a kid playing in my mother's hope chest, closing the door and cuddling up against the furs, chinchillas and other stuff in there," Miller said. In "Glory Box," Miller points out that people who are homosexual do not share that kind of "hope" while growing up. He still sees this in many ways today.    "You turn on the TV and see and hear people making direct attacks on Gay and lesbian families," Miller said. Responding to this was a "job for performance art," he said. "Theater can draw attention to injustice and hopefully bring about modest kinds of social change." Miller was invited to perform in Salt Lake by Mike Allcott, a University of Utah employee and adjunct English professor who taught a "Queer Performance Art" class at the Gay and Lesbian Community Center of Utah this past year. Allcott used Miller's autobiographical book Shirts and Skins as a text, and many of his students expressed an interest in seeing Miller perform in person. "I'm really thrilled that he wanted to come to Salt Lake," Allcott said, calling Miller "a masterful storyteller." His worries of maxing out his credit card to bring "Glory Box" to Salt Lake were alleviated when other organizations such as the Utah AIDS Foundation, the Dance Theatre Coalition, the Salt Lake Arts Council and Sam Weller Books agreed to help sponsor Miller's Salt Lake performances. Tim Miller's "Glory Box" plays at the Rose Wagner Performing Arts Center, 138 W. 300 South, Salt Lake City, Friday and Saturday at 7:30 p.m. as a benefit for the Gay and Lesbian Community Center of Utah. The performance is recommended for mature audiences only. Tickets are $14 and $8 for students and are available at ArtTix outlets or by calling 355-ARTS.    Miller will also be on hand for a panel discussion on performance art and the NEA at the University of Utah Marriott Center for Dance on Thursday at 1:30 p.m. The panel is free and open to the public.

 

16 November 2000 Wednesday

All that is in the news is President Clinton’s visit to Vietnam becoming the first sitting American President to visit the country since the end of the Vietnam War in 1975.

 

Novell Changes Donations Policy Again Novell Says It Will Match Funds To United Way

BY BOB MIMS   THE SALT LAKE TRIBUNE Novell Inc., stung by reaction to its decision to stop matching employee donations to the Boy Scouts of America because of the organization's ban on gay scoutmasters, is scrapping dollar-for-dollar donations to other charities.

   Instead, the Provo-based software company will only match employee donations to the United Way, said Stewart Nelson, Novell's chief operating officer.

   "Novell was getting into the position of having to adjudicate on whether a charity qualified or didn't qualify," Nelson said Wednesday. "We want to be a good citizen in the communities in which we live, and along with our employees, donate to good charities."

   Late last week, Novell announced it was excluding the Boy Scouts from the company's Community Support Campaign. The U.S. Supreme Court, in a 5-4 vote last June, upheld the Boy Scouts' homosexuality stance, but Novell officials nonetheless had determined the ban violated the company's own anti-discrimination policies.

   However, the decision did not go unchallenged. As employee and public reaction grew, discussions resumed, prompting Novell officials to review their matching funds guidelines. "So, we decided to [just] match funds to the United Way. . . . We want to focus on what Novell does best, and we think that is making great software. We will [match employee donations] to the United Way chapters and let them distribute those funds appropriately."

   Nelson declined to specifically characterize the level of internal criticism the decision had generated, but allowed, "There certainly has been more than one comment from employees."

   A memo Nelson sent to Novell staff on Wednesday, however, indicated reaction had been substantial. Nelson, who gave The Salt Lake Tribune  a copy of the memo, referred to the announcement aftermath as "the recent controversy" and apologized for "any perceived ill will toward the Boy Scouts of America."

   The memo continued by noting that "many of our employees donate countless hours to the BSA and we commend their efforts."

   There are more than 150,000 Boy Scouts in Utah, 90 percent of them sponsored by the state's predominant Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

   Under its Community Support Campaign, Novell matched donations up to an annual limit of $100,000. The National Parks Boy Scout Council -- based in Utah County, where 2,500 of Novell's 4,600 worldwide employees live -- received just $5,300 from last year's campaign.

   Jim Bethel, field director for the council, anticipated little difficulty making up that donation.

   "The programs the United Way supports are certainly worthy, and Novell, as a major force in our community, needs to be community minded and service oriented," he said. "We're happy they are going to do that, but of course we are disappointed they won't be supporting us."

   There was some irony in United Way benefiting from the campaign's demise. Since the U.S. Supreme Court's 5-4 vote in June upholding the Boy Scouts' right to exclude homosexual leaders, several of the umbrella charity organization's chapters have withdrawn funding for the Scouts.

   However, no United Way chapters -- along with the majority of United Way chapters nationwide -- have halted donations to Scouting, though they have offered individual donors the opportunity to direct their contributions elsewhere.

   Still, the prospect of potentially tens of thousands of new dollars in Novell employee matches was welcome news for Provo-based United Way of Central and Southern Utah, which operates on an annual budget of $1.8 million.

   Novell also recently donated more than $160,000 in software to the United Way in Utah County for use by area charities.

   "Obviously, the United Way is always glad to be the beneficiary of corporate contributions," said chapter president Bill Hulterstrom. "We always work hard to make sure our donations go to the best effect in our community."

   Those donations, however, have not included Utah County Scouts. Hulterstrom said it has been at least 15 years since the National Parks Council has requested funds. By comparison, the Boy Scouts received $188,000 from the United Way of the Great Salt L

 

22 November 2000 Wednesday

I didn’t have school today because of the Thanksgiving Hoilday. There’s still no clear winner in the presidential election because of the “highly controversial recount in Florida”.  Florida is a redneck shithole state full of Cuban drug dealers and Republican swindlers.

 

23 November 2000 Thursday Thanksgiving

 Mike and I spent the day over at the Gile’s where Randy and Kimberlee cooked a dinner. Randy’s mom was there and his brother and his boys.

 

24 November 2000

The Brady Handgun Bill was passed by Congress requiring a mandatory 5-day waiting period for handgun purchases. The bill was named after James Brady, President Ronald Reagan's press secretary who was critically wounded during the 1981 assassination attempt on Reagan.

 

27 November 2000 Monday

Governor Jeb Bush declared his brother the winner of Florida Electoral Votes. Florida officially certified the election results, showing George W. Bush ahead of Al Gore by a razor-thin margin of 537 votes out of nearly 6 million cast. Gore refused to concede and announced intentions to pursue legal challenges.

 

DECEMBER 2000

1 December 2000  Friday

Today is my nephew James Clark’s 32^nd birthday.  Today is also World AIDS Day.  The First Baptist Church held a Candlelight Vigil 6:00 pm and a new quilt panel was dedicated for inclusion to the National AIDS Quilt Interfaith Memorial Service where Buddhist, Christian and Jewish traditions were represented.

 

3 December 2000 Sunday

Professor David Knowlton  presented a workshop on Spirituality and Personal Spiritual Growth at the Metropolitan Community Church - 823 South 600 East in Salt Lake.

 

8 December 2000 Friday

All that is in the news is the unresolved election with egal disputes and recounts in Florida where Bush’s brother is governor. How crooked can you get?

 

9 December 2000 Saturday

Florida is holding up the Presidential election with it’s sixth recount and the Supreme Court is going to rule on the dangling chads.

 

10 December 2000 Sunday

Luckily, the Salt Lake Men's Choir is here in your hour of need. This Sunday, we can help you make this the perfect season. Our 18th Annual Holiday concert is entitled "Joy! Joy! Joy!" It includes traditional music, as well as songs from our Holiday CD entitled "Ring Out Wild Bells" (which is available in lots of music and bookstores), but we are excited to have some premier performances: "Betlehemu," a Nigerian carol accompanied by live drumming, and Daniel Pinkham's Christmas Cantata, accompanied by organ and brass quartet. And you'll never forget the singing AND dancing on "Merry, Merry Christmas, Baby" Even Elvis didn't do it better. So, that's this Sunday, December 10 at All Saints Episcopal Church (1700 So Foothill) two performances: 2:00 pm and 7:00 pm. ALSO: SLMC needs your help. For the first time ever, The Salt Lake Men's Choir is taking their Holiday show on the road. We will be performing this concert in both Ogden and Provo next weekend. Could you please forward this message to anyone you know in those cities? OGDEN: Saturday, December 16, 7:00 pm at First United Methodist Church (2604 Jefferson Ave) PROVO: Sunday, December 17, 7:00 pm at the Provo Tabernacle (!!!) (100 So University Ave) Thanks so much for your support, and may you and yours have the best Holiday ever! Jonathan Stowers President Salt Lake Men's Choir

 

 

12 December 2000 Tuesday

 The Supreme Court in a 5-4 decision decided the election instead of the American people giving the election to Bush over Al Gore. They halted the Florida recount. I am just sick over Republicans being in charge again as if Reagan and the first Bush didn’t do enough damages.

 

13 December 2000 Wednesday

The Republican Supreme court stopped the Florida presidential recount, which effectively stole the election in favor of George W. Bush whose brother Jeb Bush just happens to be the governor of Florida.

 

22 December 2000 Friday

This is the latest I can remember getting out for Christmas Break. They cut us loose after lunch recess and I stayed just to clean my room of Christmas Art and anything that smacks of December.  I stayed until 3:30 and I think I was one of the last ones out of the building.

 

23 December 2000 Saturday

We went to see the Cast Away with Tom Hanks in it. It was pretty good but different for sure.

 

24 December 2000 Sunday

It doesn’t seem like Christmas eve unless I make Grandpa’s Texas Chili. We gave the pups their Christmas treats from their stockings. Oscar still has a good appetite. Billy Cat just hangs on on the shelf in the garage that I made into a hutch for him to hang out. I think he is happy there.

 

Corrections: Deseret News City Editor Angie Hutchinson said News officials never saw and therefore did not reject an advertisement concerning the LDS Church's treatment of gays and lesbians. A Sunday Salt Lake Tribune article quoted one of the ad's authors as saying the News rejected the ad, which appeared in Saturday's Tribune.

Petitioners Ask LDS Church to Alter Gay Stance

BY KIRSTEN STEWART   THE SALT LAKE TRIBUNE

A loosely organized group of more than 300 gay and lesbian Mormons and their family members are petitioning The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints to reconsider its stance on homosexuality.

   A copy of the petition, signed "Mormon Advocates for Further Light and Knowledge," appeared as an ad in the Saturday edition of The Salt Lake Tribune.

   The document called upon LDS general authorities to review, repudiate and remove from church-approved policies and reading materials statements about homosexuality that are false and misleading.

   This would include, the petition said, the church's overall position that "same-sex attraction is an undesirable and unnatural emotion, which, when acted upon results in sinful, Satan-inspired behavior."

   The petition's author is Mac Madsen, a former Weber State University healthy-lifestyles professor and men's golf coach.

   Madsen, from his Ogden home  Saturday, described the petition as a last-ditch appeal to church leaders for meaningful dialogue about homosexuality.

   For two years, said Madsen, he and others have pleaded with Mormon church officials to hear them out.

   Indeed, many in the Mormon hierarchy have already seen the petition. More than a year ago, said Madsen, it was mailed to the church's top 125 officials.

   "I received absolutely no response," he said.

   The petitioners originally intended to place the $4,000 ad in an October edition of the newspaper, during the church's conference weekend when a captive audience of Mormons from outside the state would be more likely to see it.

   "But at that time we were short by $2,000," Madsen said.

   Madsen also investigated getting the petition printed in at least two other newspapers -- The Deseret News and Provo Daily Herald -- but thus far it has only appeared in The Tribune.

   The Deseret News rejected it, said Madsen, who, in the end could only come up with enough money for one ad placement. 

   Though no names appear in the ad, more than 300 individuals from 12 different countries and most of America's 50 states backed it, said Madsen.

   "We had originally planned to print names," he said, "but there wasn't enough space."

   Some individuals though, he acknowledged, were frightened to reveal their names for fear of reprisal from the Mormon church or being judged harshly by friends and neighbors.

   Madsen, hoping to protect his wife and his daughter, who is lesbian, also was hesitant to have his name printed in the newspaper.

   But "there is nothing in the petition that I'm ashamed of or that's inaccurate," he said.

   The fact that people have spoken out in such a public way goes to show just how frustrated they are, said Gary Watts, who signed the petition.

   Watts, a radiologist in Provo, and his wife Mildred, have six children.

   "Four are straight. Two are gay," said Watts, who wants all his children afforded the same opportunities in life, including acceptance and full fellowship in the LDS Church if they so choose.

   When asked why he continues to embrace a religious group that doesn't reciprocate, Watts said, "You can take the boy out of the country, but you can't take the country out of the boy.

   "It's not just a religion. It's an integral part of your life and culture and it's very difficult to divorce yourself from something that's a part of you," said the fifth-generation Mormon.

   Madsen, who has received no response to the ad, acknowledges the petition probably won't result in immediate changes to church practices and policies regarding gay members.

   Among other things, the petition asks the church to extend full fellowship to gays and lesbians, and even support legislation to legalize same-sex marriage.

   The LDS Church has poured hundreds of thousands of dollars into campaigns fighting same sex marriage in Hawaii and other states.

   The petition also requests that false and inflammatory remarks made in public or found in church-sanctioned reading materials be repudiated and removed, citing church pamphlets, such as To Young Men Only, which implies homosexuals are predisposed to bestiality.

   Regardless of whether the LDS Church heeds these demands, the petition has value, Madsen said, as an educational tool.

   Madsen would like to erase some misconceptions he says the church has about homosexuality, chiefly that it is an alterable behavioral trait that should be remedied.

   The petition takes issue specifically with counseling and therapy practices employed by the church to rid gays and lesbians of their same-sex desires including: counseling them to marry heterosexuals, aversion or shock therapy and reparative or conversion therapy, which is no longer endorsed by most mental health professionals and organizations.

   He also hopes Mormons, who might not otherwise be exposed to information about the church's policy on gays and lesbians, find the petition insightful.

   The policy, as the petition points out, "is rather obscure as far as its origin. It wasn't a revelation and it's not canonized or anything," he said.

   There were no policies targeting homosexuals for the first 125 years of the church's history, he said.

   "It wasn't up until the 1950s and on into the 60s when President [Spencer] Kimball started counseling young males against same-sex desire," and the church began printing handbooks and policy statements to that end, said Madsen.

   This effectively means the policy is amendable, said Madsen, who ended the petition asking for just that.

   "President Kimball and other church leaders in the 1970s did not originate the policy which restricted blacks from holding the priesthood. They inherited it -- and eventually changed it . . . We encourage you to reconsider and then change the current church position relative to our homosexual brothers and sisters and thus welcome yet another disenfranchised segment of our church community into full membership."

   Church spokesman Dale Bills said Saturday evening it was too early to respond to the particulars of the petition. But, "President Gordon B. Hinckley has repeatedly expressed the Church's compassion toward homosexuals," he said.

 

25 December 2000 Monday

It’s a new moon and snowed much of the afternoon. I called the folks and finished off the Texas chili I made yesterday. Mike and I mostly watched Christmas videos. Everyone seems to be fine except dad has a cold. Charline and Dennis came up with James and Michael to spend Christmas day. Mom said Donna called which was a surprise.  

 

26 December 2000

Actor Jason Robards passed away at the age of 78. Only thing I liked him in the nuclear war movie the Day After and in All the President’s Men.

 

29 December 2000 Friday

Montgomery Ward, one of America's oldest retail chains, filed for bankruptcy and announced its complete closure after 128 years of continuous operation. We used to shop there all the time. In fact the first microwave Fran and I bought was from Montgomery Ward and I bought a microwave wooden stand that I still have after all these years.

 

31 December 2000 Sunday

It’s is the end of 20th Century according to some instead of the beginning 2nd Millennium. Killjoys ha !: The Salt Lake Tribune for some reason carried quite a few articles about the Gay community in its Sunday Edition. I wonder why?

Salt Lake City’s air is so bad that the state issued a red no burn alert. The night was so foggy and cold that we stayed home rather than go out for First Night celebrations like we have in the past. Besides last night it was zero visibility out here by the airport.  So according to the Gregorian Calendar we made another trip around the sun. Its been my 49^th time.  I watched some of the New Year Eve celebration and after seeing the ball dropped in New York I went to bed. I work up hearing some fireworks and horns blaring but it didn’t last long. Too cold and foggy I guess.

            I think I am having a mid life crisis. I have no joy in my life right now except from my pups.

 

The Salt Lake Tribune Family Wrestles With the Truth,  From a near-suicide to acceptance BY BOB MIMS   THE SALT LAKE TRIBUNE  It was Good Friday, 1997, when the world of then-Mormon bishop David Hardy, his wife Carlie, and their six children -- one in particular -- turned upside down in the blood and pain of a suicide attempt.

   For a year, the Hardys had known their son, Judd, was in an all-out struggle with same-sex attraction. Devout Mormons, they had turned to their church. The counseled prayer, fasting and immersion in scripture did not change Judd's urges; neither did visits with counselors who practiced so-called "Reparative Therapy" techniques aimed at "curing" him of his homosexuality.

   Still, for a time, they  held out hope that Judd may yet go on a church mission, marry, have children and find peace in the church. But on that Good Friday, the couple was reluctantly concluding what they now wholeheartedly accept: Judd was  born to be gay.

   On that day, Carlie Hardy's temple-recommend interview with her bishop had been contentious. When the question-and-answer session that determines a Mormon's worthiness to perform sacred temple rites got to the part about sustaining church leaders' teachings, they had argued about the faith's uncompromising rejection of homosexuality.

   "I was told to teach my son celibacy," she recalled. "Then he playfully punched me on the shoulder and said, 'See? This homosexual thing isn't that big a deal.' "

   When she called home moments later, she learned that Judd, 16, had taken a pair of her scissors to his wrist and hit an artery. "Blood was everywhere in the house," Carlie said.

   The apparent last straw for the boy had been a lesson that day at his high school's LDS Seminary on the biblical destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah, a message that drove home the sinfulness of homosexuality.

   "That pushed me over the edge," said Judd, now a 19-year-old drama student at New York University in an openly gay relationship. "I felt very dirty, wrong, perverted.

   "I fasted, I prayed, I read my scriptures through five times. I went through reparative therapy that taught me that if I had not changed, it was because there was something inside me that wasn't humble enough, that I hadn't done enough," he said.

   Then came the seminary lesson and desperation. There would be no mission, no temple marriage for time and eternity, no children, no lifelong service to the church which generations of his family had revered.

   The healing, for both Judd and his family, would be gradual and painful. Their decision to support him, however, was swift.

   "That was a real wake-up call for us," said David, who  eventually would request and receive release from his calling as an LDS bishop at the University of Utah. "We realized that we were either going to lose our son, who had done nothing wrong, or we were going to face reality."

   Convinced Judd's depression would  linger only as long as he remained in Utah, the Hardys sent Judd to a private school in the gay-friendly Bay Area, where he excelled in his studies and made new friends.

   There, Judd said, he learned to "accept and not fight what was going on inside me. I was outside of this raging conflict . . . I was able to explore this spiritual side of me." The boy found peace  in a monthlong hiking trip in the Sierras. "I have a deep connection to nature. It has become my church."

 

The LDS Choices: Marriage or Celibacy

'Reach out with love and understanding,' leadership counseled 

BY BOB MIMS   THE SALT LAKE TRIBUNE

For The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, the debate over its degree of acceptance of gays and lesbians within its ranks has always come down to two unshakable tenets of Mormon faith: the sanctity of marriage and family and a firm standard of moral conduct built on chastity.

   A section of the church's official guide for ecclesiastical leaders, Understanding and Helping Those Who Have Homosexual Problems, states that sexual relations are proper only between a husband and wife. "Any other sexual contact, including fornication, adultery, and homosexual and lesbian behavior, is sinful."

   Quoting the governing First Presidency, the document warns: "Those who persist in such practices or who influence others to do so are subject to church discipline."

   The six-page booklet, published in 1992, counsels bishops, stake presidents and their counselors to "reach out with love and understanding to those struggling with these issues."

   However, it rejects arguments that same-sex attractions cannot be overcome, or that homosexual tendencies are inborn. "Change is possible. There are those who have ceased their homosexual behavior and overcome such thoughts and feelings. God has promised to help those who earnestly strive to live his command- ments."

   Mormons seeking to overcome same-sex orientation are urged to avoid pornography and masturbation, end "unhealthy relationships," fast, pray, study scripture and listen to inspirational music. And, the booklet advises, help may be needed from "qualified therapists who understand and honor gospel principles."

   That is as close as Understanding and Helping Those Who Have Homosexual Problems comes to mentioning such groups as Evergreen International, or the school of so-called "Reparative Therapy" it embraces.

   While the LDS Church does not officially endorse Evergreen, the group's membership is heavily Mormon and LDS Family Services occasionally makes referrals to therapists from the group.

   Reparative Therapy, also known as Conversion Therapy, insists homosexuality is a learned behavior, not truly an orientation. What can be learned, RT enthusiasts maintain, can be unlearned; homosexuals can be cured through counseling, prayer and support groups.

   The success of such therapy is anecdotal, with no conclusive long-term research available. Most psychologists view RT as ineffective at best and potentially dangerous to its participants, whom they see as deluded into battling an integral part of their natures.

   Courtney Moser, adviser for Utah State University's Pride Alliance, went through years of "reorientation."

   "I didn't choose to be gay," he says. "In my case, I actively chose against it -- and it didn't work.

   "Every person I know who has been through reorientation programs has come out very messed up, very emotionally and spiritually damaged," Moser says. "They have trouble forming any kind of relationship. And they usually hate religion because of it."

   While many other conservative and evangelical Christian denominations share the LDS Church's attempt at compassionate rejection of homosexuality, several mainline Protestant churches -- among them American Baptists, United Methodists, Evangelical Lutherans, Unitarian Universalists and Episcopalians -- have adopted varying degrees of acceptance for gay members and clergy in recent years.

   The debate continues among Roman Catholics, with the Vatican both condemning homosexual acts as sin, and allowing that homosexual orientation can be something one is born with. While urging pastoral understanding of gay Catholics, the church also has recommended those with same-sex feelings consider celibacy.

 

THE SALT LAKE TRIBUNE

Photo Caption: Roni Wilcox, left, and her partner, Cristy Gleave, watch their son Yeager's fascination with the Christmas tree.  Gleave was one of the last lesbians in Utah to adopt a partner's child before a state law banned such adoptions. Couples to Challenge Utah Adoption Ban Statute allows single, but not partnered, gays to become legal parents

BY GREG BURTON  Two years ago, Cristy Gleave and Roni Wilcox, her partner of five years, conceived a child whose anonymous father was chosen for intelligence, dark hair and hazel eyes.

 

   Years in the planning, the clinical procedure took just four minutes. "Oh, my God," Gleave whispered in wonder.

 

   Two hours earlier, Wilcox had called her doctor to report she was ovulating. Gleave sped home from work in Ogden, picked up Wilcox at their Salt Lake City home and headed for University Hospital to collect a Styrofoam cooler holding a syringe of sperm, then drove to the doctor.

 

   "We were just so beside ourselves afterward," Wilcox recalls. "We looked at each other and said 'We could be parents. We could actually be parents.' "

 

   Few lesbian couples in Utah have taken a similar path to parenthood. For Wilcox and Gleave, it was a decision made easier by a series of judicial rulings granting adoption rights to the nonbiological parent of gay and lesbian couples in Utah and elsewhere.

 

   On March 22, Gleave legally adopted Yeager, a sturdy child with blond hair and big hazel eyes. Absent the adoption, Gleave's parental rights in a custody battle or in the instance of Wilcox's death would have been uncertain. Yeager also would have tenuous legal standing to benefit from Gleave's estate, medical insurance coverage or Social Security benefits.

 

   The date of Yeager's adoption is especially critical.

 

   Eight days earlier, Gov. Mike Leavitt -- saying he believed it best for a child to be raised by a mother and a father -- signed a law, enacted by the Legislature that banned adoptions by sexually involved couples who were living together but not married.

 

   That means Yeager could be the last legally adopted child of a nonbiological lesbian mother in Utah.

 

   "It's heartbreaking," says Laura Milliken Gray, a Salt Lake City attorney who has handled more than half of the state's gay adoptions. "Loving couples come in here every day asking 'Why? Why can't we adopt?' "

 

   "What's so insane about this law," Gray says, "is, if you are single and gay and don't live with anyone, you can still adopt. It's crazy."

 

   Gay adoptions in Utah were virtually unheard of a decade ago. Family law attorneys believe the first adoption of a child by a gay Utah couple occurred around 1998; as many as 30 followed. Some were "stranger adoptions," or adoptions of a child who didn't previously live with either parent.

 

   Others were "second parent adoptions" or step-parent adoptions involving a child already residing with one or both parents. All proceeded under a Utah adoption law that stood unchallenged for 60 years.

 

   The fabric of the old law began to fray during a battle over an administrative policy enacted by the board of Utah's Division of Child and Family Service that bars same-sex couples and unmarried heterosexual couples from state-sponsored adoptions.

 

   The ensuing fight engendered a conservative backlash joined by Brigham Young University law professor Lynn Wardle, who testified in favor of Utah's new statute.

 

   "This was a response to the problem of stealth adoptions," Wardle says. "There were a number of judges who were sympathetic to gay and lesbian couples. . . . That was troubling."

 

   That is a disingenuous argument, Gray says, because Utah's old law specifically called for judicial review.

 

   Perhaps the most passionate plea against changing the law was delivered by Utah's first openly gay lawmaker, Rep. Jackie Biskupski, D-Salt Lake City.

 

   "I can tell you that the lesbian some see is not me," Biskupski told lawmakers before they voted on the bill. "The stereotypes that people use to justify their hatred for me are not me. I am not all of those negative things you have been taught to believe about me. I am not less than human and therefore do not deserve to have my liberties taken away from me."

 

Still, the statute aligned Utah with Florida as the only states where gay couples are prevented from adopting. Soon after, Mississippi became the third. Only Vermont specifically allows gay couple adoptions.

 

   Wilcox and Gleave, along with several other Utah couples, are gearing up to challenge Utah's new law, with Gray in their corner.

 

   "Gay couples who adopt are just like straight couples who can't have children who want to adopt -- there is a real desire there, a love and a passion for parenthood," says Gray, who reserves a wall in her office for pictures of gay families she has helped preserve. "There is no accident when a lesbian couple gets pregnant."

 

Photo Caption: Megan Peters, center, performs with Gearl Jam at one of their every-other-Thursday gigs at Salt Lake City's Dead Goat Saloon. Though not specifically a gay band, the group provides a gay-friendly environment and tends to attract gay listeners among their varied audiences.

Photo Credit: Trent Nelson/The Salt Lake Tribune

 Gearl Jam Is Not Quite a Band-Singer-songwriter support group draws eclectic audiences to Dead Goat gigs BY SEAN P. MEANS   THE SALT LAKE TRIBUNE

Don't call Gearl Jam a "gay band."    For starters, it's not a band. Bands rehearse more often.

   What Gearl Jam is, says founding member Trace Wyrand, is "a singer-songwriter collective" whose regular members -- Wyrand, Leraine Horstmanshoff, Kathryn Warner and Megan Peters -- take turns singing their own songs. The others provide backup, musically and emotionally, in a free-form performance that lives up to the "jam" part of their name.

   Yes, three of the four women are lesbian (Peters is, as she puts it, the "token breeder"), and a substantial portion of the 3-year-old group's fan base is also gay. But sexual orientation is not what pulls Gearl Jam and its fans together. It's the music.

   "I don't think any of us are necessarily coming from a place where first we're gay, therefore [gay audiences] will come see us," says Wyrand, 39.

   "I don't know if it's about being gay, or being singer-songwriters, or being women," says Peters, 36.

   To which Warner, 43, responds, "It's because we're good."

   Considering that camaraderie, and the close-knit nature of Utah's musician and gay communities, Peters jokes, "It's amazing none of us have slept with each other."

   Each woman has her own performing career -- Peters and Warner perform solo, Wyrand and Horstmanshoff play in the band Lovesuckers, and Wyrand plays in other bands and was in the now-defunct local headliner My Sister Jane. But when they perform together in their every-other-Thursday gig at Salt Lake City's Dead Goat Saloon, one can feel the "all for one and one for all"  vibe.

   Wyrand may lead off with a bluesy rockabilly song, and Peters will sing harmony while Horstmanshoff beats a drum. Then Horstmanshoff, a world traveler who emphasizes percussion, will do a jazzier, more rhythmic tune. The songs Warner and Peters sing lean more toward folk and soul.

   "I want them to sound good, and I want to sound really good, too," Warner says. "Whatever I do on their music, I want to do really, really well, to enhance it in any possible way that I can."

   Peters calls the Dead Goat "a good listening space," as compared to singles bars (Horstmanshoff lists the lesbian Paper Moon and the straight Green Street Social Club in the same breath in that context) where the patrons just want loud music for dancing.

   It was at Green Street  that Gearl Jam was born. Peters had her weekly Thursday night gig there one night three years ago, just hours after having a benign lump removed from her breast. "I couldn't hold my guitar up to my chest," Peters says. Wyrand and Horstmanshoff joined in a jam session and stayed on; Warner joined a year and a half ago.

   Some of the songs, like the love ballads sung in the second person, do not reveal a sexual preference. (Warner says her song "There's a Light," inspired by the good spirits she encountered during Salt Lake's Gay Pride Day, gets compliments from church-going folk who interpret it as a song about Jesus.) Horstmanshoff's "Bring the Grind," with the pulsating lyric "Sweat rolls down her bare breast," is more up front.

   Then again, when the foursome starts jamming on cover tunes -- starting with Warner belting out Donna Summer's "Hot Stuff" -- it's the straight gal, Peters, who sings America's "Sister Goldenhair" without changing the lyrics ("I ain't ready for the altar, but I do believe there's times / when a woman sure can be a friend of mine").

   Like the music, the Gearl Jam audience is not so easy to characterize. On one Thursday, the 30-plus fans who braved Utah's unusual mid-November chill included several straight couples, a group of beer-drinking guys, two quartets of women, and Horstmanshoff's 70ish parents (who also are her roadies). Nearly everyone is listening intently; by the end of the first set, two of the women are swing-dancing.

   "A majority of my [solo] audience and Gearl Jam's audience have either been gay, lesbian, or gay-friendly or embracing," Peters says.

   Gearl Jam tries to return the favor, by performing benefits for organizations from the Utah AIDS Foundation to the Rape Recovery Network, and by being a welcoming voice for gay audiences. "A lot of people need a gay-friendly environment, especially if people are going out as couples and want to express their affection for one another," Wyrand says. "I think we do provide that."

 

The Salt Lake Tribune 'Two Spirits' Respected in Indian Tradition Indians Have Tradition of Respect for Gays Attitudes emphasize spiritual qualities more than sexual orientation

BY BOB MIMS  

Outside of her friends in the Navajo Indian Reservation town of Chinle, Ariz., few know the striking 5-foot-9 woman is biologically male. Indeed, she once parlayed her shoulder-length, walnut and blond  hair and olive complexion into a modeling career in Phoenix before moving back to her native redrock canyons.

 

   Now, she works as a caseworker for the Navajo AIDS Network, helping others who have tested positive for the HIV virus. "Call me by my disc jockey name, 'Darian Phyve,' " she requests, noting that while most of her fellow Navajos are tolerant of gay and transgendered people, a few are not.

 

   The 28-year-old transgendered DJ, who works private parties in her off hours, considers herself a "Two Spirit," which in American Indian lore is a person born with male and female personalities. In her case, the feminine spirit is stronger; she cannot recall when it was not.

 

   It is a view fundamentally different from that in Western white civilization's Judeo-Christian roots -- that homosexuality is sinful. Instead, many Indians have traditions of same-sex acceptance and incorporation of gays into tribal life.

 

   Tribal attitudes toward homosexuality were seldom simply based on sexual orientation, but involved both physical and spiritual attributes, according to Richley Crapo, a professor of anthropology at Utah State University and student of Great Basin Native American culture.

 

   Many tribes recognize three genders: male, female and Two Spirits -- biological males, females or hermaphrodites able to fill both male and female roles.

 

   "These distinctive Two Spirit roles usually included some religious responsibilities, such as christening babies, treating women for infertility with religious rituals and conducting funeral rituals," Crapo said.

 

   In some tribes, Two Spirit status was extended to females who had adopted male characteristics along with same-sex preferences, and vice versa for males. Thus same-sex couples would have masculine and feminine partners.  

   "Two Spirit persons were not stigmatized. In fact, they were generally thought of as having a very high status," Crapo said. "Individuals with same-sex orientation . . . would have found a very comfortable place in most North American Indian tribes."

  

Respecting Difference: In the Dine' tongue of the Navajo, Two Spirits are known as "na'dleh" -- literally, "one that changes." The term, in turn, has roots in one of the tribe's oldest legends, the "Separation of the Sexes" story, said Donald Denetdeal, chairman of the Center for Dine' Studies in Tsaile, Ariz.

 

   "At this point in the oral narratives there came a time when all the men were over to one side and lived in a certain geographical area and all the women lived in a different area, too," Denetdeal said. "[It was] a time period . . . with men having sexual relations with other men and women with women."

 

   The na'dleh  in both camps voluntarily assumed sexual roles of the opposite sex. "These people were respected. That respect continues today," Denetdeal said. "Navajos do not promote homosexuality, but in the event there is one who might be a homosexual, they are not looked down upon or treated as bad people . . . but as special people due respect.

 

   "We are taught as we are growing up that if we should run into a homosexual . . . we are not to make fun of them, laugh about them or harass them in any way, shape or form," he said.

 

   That attitude made Phyve's "coming out" much easier.

 

   "It's how your soul perceives who you are," she said. "We occupy an inaccurate biological body while our dominant spirit, our mentality and being, are of another individual and sex.

 

   "I've known my feelings sexually as far back as I remember, even 2-3 years old. I was allowed to express myself freely with my family, and over time it sort of grew on them.  . . . They cherish me as an individual who is an intricate part of the family."

 

Spiritual Powers: In the language of the Utes, a gay man is "tozusuhzooch," loosely translated as "A male who is not quite a male." However, that vague term in no way implied confusion or rejection over acceptance of Two Spirits into the tribal community.

   "These were special people with certain [spiritual] powers," explained Venita Taveapont, a Ute social-services worker and tribal cultural expert. "They were men who dressed and lived as women. They did bead work and tanned hides, and they were generally the best in the tribe at that."

 

   Traditional tozusuhzooch  were revered, but also expected to live alone. "People would go to them to have them bless their children with Indian names. Sometimes, they were looked upon as healers," Taveapont said.

 

   Larry Cesspooch, a Ute traditional spiritual leader, said his tribe has its own story to explain same-sex orientation origins.

 

   "As embryos, we were women before we were men, before we grew penises. So, we believe we have male and female sides. [In the case of homosexuals] even though you may have a male body, the female side has taken over," he said.

 

   Much of that respect remains, though tolerance is not what it once was, Cesspooch and Taveapont agree. The tozusuhzooch  tradition is remembered, but modern Ute gays are defined more often by their sexual proclivities than the spiritual attributes of the past.

 

   "Nowadays, the roles have changed some," Taveapont said.

 

   "They have adopted the white man's way of being homosexual rather than how it used to be. Today, they do not have as much respect as they used to; they are more of a novelty."

 

 

Mary Callis talks about a Web site  at the Gay and Lesbian Center of Utah. Watching are, from left to right, Rebecca McCuen, Deanna Millias and youth leader Amy Ruttinger. Teens and young adults often rely on the center for support and friendship they can't find elsewhere.  Photo Credit: Paul Fraughton/The Salt Lake Tribune

 When Teens Come Out

Rejection, harrassment eased by support at community centers

BY HEATHER MAY   THE SALT LAKE TRIBUNE

Amy Ruttinger knows what it's like to be the odd one out, the small, quiet one with a big secret.

   Now, at 19, Ruttinger spends many evenings at the Gay and Lesbian Center of Utah, where books on gay and lesbian life line the wall and people can surf the Internet or watch a video as they sip "mocca java," the Homo Brew of the Day.

   Throughout the evenings, teen-agers drop by to find her, give her a hug, ask how she is doing.

   "This," says Ruttinger, surrounded by about a dozen teens, "is my family. I'm at home right now."

   Ruttinger, leader of one of the center's youth groups, is part mother, part sister and all friend to her charges, who range in number from five to 25, depending on the night.

   She is often the first person they go to when they are being harassed at work, fighting with friends or just want to talk.

   For many gay teen-agers, community centers are often the only places they feel at home, whether or not they are out to their families, churches or schoolmates.

   When they do come out, teens say, and statistics confirm, many are rejected. They are ostracized, kicked out of the house, sent to therapy, harassed.

   Ruttinger knows all about that. She came out to her family three years ago. While several relatives accepted her, one hit and kicked her and another believed she was possessed by the devil. At school, friends she had known since second grade snubbed her in the hallways; other classmates threatened to harm her and her friends.

   The rejection turned Ruttinger's thoughts to suicide, but she found other family to get her through.

   Like "Uncle" Jim and "Aunt" Cody, a gay couple who have been together for nine years. She sought their comfort when she came out to her biological family and now visits them once or twice a week -- more often than some of her blood relatives.

   "I meet all her girlfriends," says Aunt Cody, having a smoke on his porch under white icicle lights and a Christmas wind sock and teasing her for looking like a boy in his big blue coat.

   Ruttinger hopes young people can go to her like she goes to Cody. She wants to help them avoid becoming the gay youth stereotype: strung out on drugs and alcohol, promiscuous and suicidal.

   "I've seen them get into sex, whore themselves off," she says. "When you don't have a role model, you're going to have to do what you think is right, which turns out to be wrong in the end.

   "You're told for years not to have sex with 'him,' she says. "You're not told [what to do] about your girlfriend."

   On a recent night at the "gay Denny's" restaurant, nicknamed because gay teens hang out there after they have been clubbing, Ruttinger dishes out advice to one boy between spoonfuls of clam chowder.

   Matt, a 17-year-old from American Fork, asks her about the club she started at Cottonwood High School for gay and lesbian students. She points her spoon at him and says she will help him get one started. Later he asks her, "Is it true gay people are more likely to drop out of school and smoke?"

   Ruttinger slides closer to Matt and drops her forkful of salad.

   "I'm not hungry right now, I'm serious," she says. "I can say what I've seen. A majority of mine [friends] have dropped out.  . . . You want to know why I started smoking? To handle my depression."

   Later, Matt will say, "I view [Amy] as a sister figure. One of those people who's just open, you can express yourself to."

 

Photo Caption: Richard Teerlink and Paul Trane take a walk at Sugar House Park. Both grew up in the LDS Church, believing there was something wrong with them because they are gay. "There's no shadow anymore," says Trane, 63. "We can talk to each other about anything and everything."

Divided Lives Find Healing

After a half-century of turmoil, two men find peace of mind with each other

BY HEATHER MAY   THE SALT LAKE TRIBUNE

It took just about half a century for Richard Teerlink and Paul Trane to find themselves. Finding each other took a lot less time.

   Now in their 60s, the two men grew up believing being gay was the ultimate shame, and it became for each his biggest secret.

   Teerlink and Trane lived most of their lives in the closet, marrying and raising their babies to adulthood. It wasn't until they were both about 50 that they formally left their straight lives to forge ones as gay men.

   A mutual friend introduced them eight years ago. Their first date was to  Red Butte Gardens in Salt Lake City. It was there, in 1997, that they exchanged gold bands in a commitment ceremony. They bought a condo together and drew up papers allowing them to legally act on each other's behalf.

   "There's no shadow anymore," says Trane, 63. "We can talk to each other about anything and everything."

   Today, Teerlink and Trane navigate two types of families: their biological ones and the one they pieced together through friends, church and political activism. On a recent weekend, for example, they attended one of their grandson's fifth birthday party and left early to go a Christmas party for members of a gay, lesbian, straight education network.

   Christmas stockings hang in their living room for their grandchildren, who they see often, along with most of the seven children they have between them.

   While they hate to say it, because they don't want to hurt their children, Trane and Teerlink regret getting married. They grew up attending The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, went on missions and felt they had no other choice than to get married. They believed that if they were devout enough, they would be "cured."

   They grew up in a time when homosexuality was considered a mental illness and people were institutionalized for it.

   The thinking was, "Some people are born without feet, some people are born with some awful disease," Teerlink said. "I was born a homosexual and that was my burden."

   Trane and Teerlink weren't "cured" and both eventually divorced and left the LDS Church.

   Once they met, they kept their relationship quiet in some circles. Both were educators -- Trane a principal and Teerlink a teacher -- and worked in schools on the west side of the Salt Lake Valley. After work, they stayed on the east side to avoid running into students and their parents, fearing their jobs could be in jeopardy.

   Now that they are retired, they are more open about their lives. They are active in the First Unitarian Church and an organization for gay, lesbian and straight educators. They sit on a hate-crimes task force and help run a gay/straight alliance club for high school students.

   They created that family, too. As for their biological ties, they feel blessed that most of their family accepts them, proven by something as simple as a Christmas card addressed to them both.

   "It signals, 'We acknowledge and accept the reality that you're a couple,' " Trane said. "To us, it's a big deal."

ake last year.