Autumn 4th Quarter Journal 2010 October -December

 

OCTOBER

1 October 2010 Friday

Whisky is not the same as Nyquil but the effects are about the same thing except I now feel hung over with a congested chest.

 2 October 2010 Saturday

I had such a wonderful visit with Kent Larsen, my old college friend, who's now the director of the Escalante Art Festival. We went to Ambers for breakfast. Funny how we haven't seen each other in 37 years and yet we picked up just like it had only been days. I guess that's what happens with good friends. But boy we sure don't look 21 anymore except in our eyes and smiles. They didn't seem to change.

Kent and I only met by chance because we were assigned to the same art locker by Charlene Felos our dyke art teacher. Fate. Last time I saw Kent we were both 21. He was the first Mormon I ever knew and first openly Gay person I knew. I should have seen my destiny unfolding then; that the fates wanted me to be surrounded by Gay Mormons.

I did have a wonderful time and 37 years does gives you a lot of perspective. I admitted how jealous I was of him because he was and is an incredible artist and I knew I'd only be 2nd rate at best. I wished that I was as creative as him but through the years I found another outlet for that creativity.

 

3 October 2010 Sunday

Kyle Foote's friend Anthony Dalton came over to help him move his furniture into the room downstairs and move some of my bedroom stuff around. They moved my big Captain bed from where I had it installed last year over to the north wall.

So I fed them a baked ham, potato au gratin, baked beans, green beans, and I also baked a German Chocolate Cake. Mike Romero came over too with Coco so it was a nice Sunday dinner.

My cold is breaking up finally.

 

4 October 2010 Monday

My cold is back with a vengeance with a congested chest and achy body. I need to stay in bed but will sally forth to teach eager little minds at Washington.

            The Mormon geriatric fossil, Boyd Packer, said at conference that promoting Gay marriage and Gay rights is like opposing gravity. Well I think it’s time we all sing ‘Defying Gravity’ don't you?

            At a 10 Stake Fireside at BYU in the mid 1970's Boyd K Packer gave a talk using the allegory of crocodile infested waters and how trusting the General Authorities is the only certain way to get through unharmed. Who knew back then that Boyd K Packer was really one of the crocodiles?

            Val Holly wrote saying, “Who can forget Packer's immortal ‘Spiritual Crocodiles’? I tried for weeks afterward to write a road show incorporating the concept ...” I wrote back and said, “Did you see Boyd's crocodile tears?”  Val laughed and added, “IZOD should replace the alligator with spiritual crocodiles. As our mutual friend John Reeves once said, ‘Who said women can't hold the priesthood, with old ladies like Boyd Packer running the church?’”

            My friend Todd Bennett commented, “Who knew back then that Boyd K Packer was one of the crocodiles? I knew....” I responded, “Todd you were a toddler in 1979 ha!.” Todd replied “HAHA! I was 19 in 1979. Immature...? Yes. But my BS detection gear was already functioning pretty well.”

            Dr. Patty Reagan said, “Forget crocodiles. Temple Square should be renamed Dinosaur Nat'l Park...sure is full of dinosaurs.”

            Kyle Foote wrote me this afternoon at 4 about a New Column proposal for the Q Salt Lake. “Hi Ben, this is the email I'm going to send to JoSelle Vanderhooft and Michael Aaron at the Q. I have also attached a copy of my proposal. Could you please look it over when you feel up to it and make any edits/suggestions you feel are appropriate? Thanks friend! ~Kyle.”

             “Hello Michael and JoSelle, Thank you for publishing my guest editorial on the stigma of mental health in the gay community. The launch of our new support group has been a growing success due in great part to the publicity from the Q. It is for that reason that I would like to propose a new regular column in the Q dealing with mental health topics and resources in the local LGBTQ community. I have attached a formal one page proposal that I hope the editorial staff of the Q will seriously consider adding to the lineup of regular columns. I welcome any questions to my attached proposal and hope that you allow me to give back to the community through writing this column. I would expect no compensation and basically have the same deal as your other columnists. I am available to begin as soon as you give me the green light. I look forward to your questions and also to working together to inform and entertain the local LGBTQ Community. Best Regards, Kyle Foote”

            I wrote back, “Looks good except clarify that you mean Barbra Streisand because in the community most people would think of ‘Babs’ as being Babs De Lay.”

            Kyle said, Thanks! Will do... Can you send me JoSelle's email address as well? Thanks friend.”

 

5 October 2010 Tuesday

I finished my Lambda Lore column for the Q on my death bed. It's on Boyd K "the Truth is Not Very useful" Packer.  I am hacking up a lung.

 

            I lots of well wishes from friends on Face Book. Don Penrose wrote, “Get feeling better, you! **big hugs**” Brandon Burt said, “Whatever you do, don't touch your little factory.”

            There is going to be a community protest of Boyd K Packer’s homophobic remarks this coming Thursday. People commented on it.  Andy Dalrymple said, “I'm going to miss Thursday's protest and really wish I was there, although the 'die in' is cliché. Stripping naked and high-stepping isn't, though.”

Greg Hardin wrote, “Shucks, I'm gonna miss the protest rally too, I have "Home Teaching" that night.” I responded to Greg writing, “Greg I hope you are taking a petition with you to have your ward members sign that they are opposed to his Ass Holiness BKP but since you insist on living in ‘Glenbeckistan’ it might be too dangerous for you.” Greg commented back, “At this point Ben, all we can do is 'kill" BKP with kindness and pray for his soul.”

Garth Chamberlain added “wish I could be there.”

            Brandon Burt  wrote, “BTW, what do you think the odds are on that "is it a boy kitty or a girl kitty" anecdote actually happening” I answered, “probably another "lying for the Lord" faith promoting story and my little factory went on strike.”   

            In the news Mitt Romney endorsed Gary Herbert for governor and hinted at another presidential run in 2012. Gawd.

            Kyle Foote wrote to Eric Ethington, “I checked the status on the local poll and found a surprising result... The results are in!!! According to a local ABC4 News Poll over 63% of Utahns DO NOT AGREE with the statements made by Boyd K. Packer.    Eric Ethington asked, “Is this final?” Kyle replied, “I don't know that it's final. They could obviously end it at any time. It's been up for since early yesterday. I don't know when they intend to end the survey though? It's still a pretty dramatic response at this point. Perhaps it might be worth a call to KTVX to get a comment on the results?”

             JoSelle Vanderhooft wrote to Kyle Foote regarding his New Column Proposal. She said, “Hi Kyle: I love this proposal and want to marry it! I have major depressive disorder, generalized anxiety disorder and dysthymia (among a few other things), and I've long felt that the community needs to have a more open conversation about mental health--particularly as LGBTQ folks have higher preponderances of mental illness than do our straight cis counterparts! Of course, the final decision is not up to me, but I will let Michael know I support this enthusiastically :). Thanks for friending me on FB, too. I wasn't sure who ‘Mind Gaymes’ was, but I'll add you back now! – JoSelle”

            Michael Aaron responded to Kyle saying, “I am interested. I'd like to do a 3-issue trial and ask around what people think. How does that sound? I'm not sure if this would end up being a monthly (opposite QHealth) or biweekly column. Once I got some feedback, that would help make the decision. I doubt you'd be able to pull anything together for this issue, as the deadline is today but could be extended to Thursday. Otherwise, We could start with Oct. 28 issue with an Oct 19 deadline. Thanks! –Michael.”

           

6 October 2010 Wednesday

I am glad to see there's fire in the belly again of young Gay activists brought on by Boyd K Packer’s hateful spew last Sunday. I thought they were getting too assimilated to care. It gives me hope for the future.

            Julie Gappmeyer who  I taught her son years ago at Orchard sent me this quote, “One of the most powerful forces on the planet is a people awakening to the sense of their ability to change the world.- Activist Jay Carmona

Assimilationists hate it when we protest so much. It makes us appear like we're not really trying to fit in. Hahahaha! I don't care whether you love me or like me. I demand my rights as an American. They are not yours to give to me.

            I wrote this to the Salty Gossip regarding the recent rash of suicides: “No one understands the exact circumstances of why one chooses to end their life. I just wish that every young person would stop and truly think would the world be truly better off without you in it? Youth is potential. You are not who you will be. There are people you haven’t even met that will be diminished by the loss of your wonderfulness. Life can be filled with pain but those few moments of pain cannot cancel out the joys of being alive.

             When I was a young man at BYU I followed the counsel of the brethren to turn my life around. I abstained from masturbation and frequenting locations on campus where I might be tempted to give into “unnatural desires”. I read the scriptures, prayed daily that this burden would be lifted and then one day I had a brief encounter with a sweet young man I met at the JS field house on chance.

            After the encounter I was wracked with guilt shame, disgust and feeling I had betrayed covenants. I went home and hacked at my wrists with a razor blade feeling that only the shedding of my blood could atone for what I had done.

            Blood Atonement. My sin was so great that even Christ’s blood could not atone for it. That is what I was taught at BYU.

            If I had been successful there would never have been a home for Russ Lane, who founded Wasatch Affirmation. There would never have been a support group called Unconditional Support for Gays and Lesbians. No Beyond Stonewall, No Utah Stonewall Center, no Utah Stonewall Historical Society. I would not have loved and been loved by so many incredible people. I would not have been the teacher of 25 years of school children. I would not have known Ben Barr, David Sharpton, Bruce Harmon, Becky Moss, Patty Reagan and hundreds more of the best people on this planet.

 

            My message is for young people not to diminish your pain but realize it too shall pass and you have been given gifts to teach this world, beautify this world, enrich this world. We need you please stay. “The grave’s a fine and private place, But none I think do there embrace”. -Andrew Marvell

Greg Hardin wrote me saying regarding a headboard that Kyle Foote had. “Ben  Does Kyle really need both of those head boards that you gave him. It would be very nice if he could give me the one that he said he is using for a "craft project" to go in my guest bedroom. Maybe one of these days I will see it posted on "craigslist" or "ksl.com" and I will be able to buy it from him. Don't tell him I said this but, he really knows how to work it. LOL.”

            I responded, “The only head board he is using is the one that Mike is letting me use in the downstairs bedroom. I know he brought two over and are in the garage. Not sure what he is doing with them. I've asked him to clear his schedule this Saturday so we can finish the stairs and get the stairs kickboards in.”

            Greg wrote- “I just feel hurt, the second Kyle met you...I haven't seen him since! When you offered him the "Equality Utah tickets" I REALLY wanted to go but I was told that those tickets were promised to someone else even though "they" were posted up for grabs a few days after that on F.B. My family taught me integrity...that is the rule I live by. I'm sorry if you and Kyle have different standards that you share.”

            I responded, “Greg I earned those Equality Utah tickets for working my ass off for Tika Beard and for the Q. I gave one to Kyle to take a guest and I had planned on using the 3rd one. I've been sick with bronchitis. Since then I asked Eric Ethington to give them to some young people who could not afford the $100 dollar a plate ticket. I took flak from the Q for that and I certainly don't need flak from you or your questioning my integrity. My family didn't teach me that I am "entitled" but sorry if you have a different standard. And you are a liar since I know you saw Kyle on Sunday so what is up with you? I don't care what issues you have with Kyle but don't be dragging me into your drama.”

            Greg replied-“Ben, I am very sorry for the unkind words. This adjustment has been a little hard on me as I am also dealing with some health issues as well and they (it) has got the best of me. Please forgive me as you have always been a person that I would still like to call a friend. Once again, please accept my apology.”

            I wrote back, “I've always thought of you as a kind person and I do consider you my friend. When we are not feeling well we often say words we really don't mean.”

            Kyle Foote wrote to Greg “Pretty sure I got Ben's Crud. I'm pretty sick today. I think Ben was nice enough to share his cold/flu that he had over the weekend. I've been hoping to feel good enough to go out to lunch with you today. Is it alright if we reschedule? I know I'll see you Friday morning, maybe we can figure out a time then? Sorry my friend.”    

 

7 October 2010 Thursday

After school I went to my dentist, Dr. Matthew McKay, in Bountiful to see if I had an infection in my jaw because my side of face hurt so much. I didn’t expect him to see me but he did and he said he couldn’t see anything and that it was probably a sinus infection.

            Eric Ethington planned a wonderful protest against Boyd k Packer at Temple Square this evening. Kyle Foote went as one of the captains to manage the crowd. Over 4500 people attended and lay down around the sidewalk outside of Temple Square two rows deep.

            I was just too sick to attend but I am so proud of everyone who represented our community tonight at Temple Square and took back the hateful words of a hateful man. I hope this will empower all young Gays to throw off the shackles that bind them and find joy in how God created them, whole, complete, and full of wonder.

            The power of unity can never be under estimated. The 4500 people encircling the temple told the Gay youth of Utah "You are not alone and we will come to your defense."

            I am sorry for those who were reluctant to support this action. Get on board the Gay Rights Express or be left behind. But don't worry we will come back and get you like we always do.

            Becky Moss sent me a request via Face Book. “Ben, could you do us all a favor? With your records, I am betting that you can find 3 instances where the LDS church either said something nice about LGBT people or at least failed to say something mean at a general conference in the last 20 years. I hope I am right.”

 

I sent her three things that I could find but each ended with a slam against Gay sex. In ‎1987, LDS First Counselor Gordon B. Hinckley tells priesthood session of conference that "marriage should not be viewed as a therapeutic step to solve problems such as homosexual inclinations of practices..." This reverses decades long policy formulated by Spencer W. Kimball. ‎

            In 1997 gay people are welcome in the church. President Hinckley said, "Now, we have gays in the church. Good people. We take no action against such people provided they don't become involved in sexual transgression. If they do, we do with them exactly what we'd do with heterosexuals who transgress" (San Francisco Chronicle March 13, 1997). ‎

            In 1998- LDS President Gordon B. Hinckley made strong and unequivocal statements about homosexuality in his address at the LDS General Conference. ``People inquire on those who consider themselves so-called Gays and Lesbians. My response is that we love them as sons and daughters of God. They may have certain inclinations which are powerful and which may be difficult to control. If they do not act upon these inclinations, they can go forward as do all other members of the church. But we cannot stand silent if they indulge in immoral activity, if they try to uphold and defend and live in a so-called same-sex marriage situation. That’s about it. All with qualifiers”

Becky Moss responded, “Ouch, is this the best that we have? Ben, no wonder that I love you!” I replied, “I am afraid so. PS I love you too and it has been a highlight of my life to have worked with you.”

            Kyle asked me for comments on his QSalt Lake Mind Gaymes article before sending it into Joselle Vanderhooft. Kyle sent a message to Joselle saying, “Thanks for the deadline extension so I could get this article into the next issue. I've attached it to this email. Regards, Kyle.”

JoSelle V wrote back, “Cool, thanks Kyle! I'll edit and upload this into the system. No idea if we'll have space for this issue, since it's full with our literature submissions, but if we don't next issue for sure. I'm SO glad you get to try this out! Would you like me to make suggestions for improvement if I have any?” Kyle responded,  “Thanks JoSelle! Of course, I would love as much feedback as you have time to give. I hope you find room in this issue for it. Cheers! Kyle.”

            Kyle wrote to Eric Ethington, “Interesting Brigham Quote: Saw this on Dallin Garber's profile, the original quote is here and it say's even more. | Brigham Young Quotes ‎"You see some classes of the human family that are black, uncouth, uncomely, disagreeable and low in their habits, wild, and seemingly deprived of nearly all the blessings of the intelligence that is generally bestowed upon mankind.”

            Kyle then asked “Question on a Quote: Could you provide a citation/reference for the quote below? It is listed on your website here: "I am a Prophet of God in this dispensation. I carry on the work that began with Joseph Smith. I led the Saints to the barren Salt Lake Valley and it is where we built Zion, even though Joseph Smith taught the Savior would return in Jackson County Missouri. Monogamous marriage is not the order of heaven, for it is only through polygamy that a man may achieve exaltation. The government should stay out of the lives of the Saints and let us worship and practice our religion according to the dictates of our own conscience. If there ever comes a day when the Saints interfere with the rights of others to live as they see fit, you can know with assurance that the Church is no longer led by a Prophet, but a mere man. The doctrines of this Church are eternal, for they were ordained before the world was and any man who changes these doctrines such as the temple ceremony, or the man who abandons polygamy, or allows blacks the Priesthood of God, is a fallen prophet. I am Brother Brigham. And I am the voice of God."

            ‘Brother Brigham’ responded to Kyle Foote regarding a question on a quote found on his blog. “Good evening Brother, I'm pleased the Spirit has directed you to my site. To answer your question, the below information is merely words that sum up my doctrine and my teachings.

            While I never said these exact words (and they do not appear in any of my published works) they express my personal religious convictions and a life time of teachings. God Bless, Brother Brigham. PS (From Brother Brigham's secretary: Brother Brigham wishes more to express his sorrow that this page of his website has been misunderstood. He wants you to know that all of his real quotes that appear on his website are set off by quotation marks and a citation.

Brother Brigham is pained that the words that appear under the "ABOUT" tab of his website have caused confusion.)

 

8 October 2010 Friday

I finally broke down and went to Urgent Care in Bountiful to see what they can give me for this cough and my sore jaw. The doctor gave me a prescription for codeine and some antibiotics so I can sleep. He said I didn’t have bronchitis but had a sinus infection instead. My voice is hoarse from coughing so much.

            I wrote on Face book “My five alarm Texas Chili was too hot for Utah” and Kyle Foote said, “What do you expect from a state that invented fry sauce because Catsup was too spicy?” I responded, “If it's not making you break a sweat it ain't chili.”

            Kyle wrote to Eric Ethington- “Food for thought...Eric, So I was looking at your blog page the other day and it was the first time that I realized you have no advertisements on it at all. With 20,000 hits a month you could put up Google ads and immediately begin generating between $200 and $1000 a month in revenue to support your blog. With local advertising you could make 3 to 4 times that amount. I understand that it's not your intention to become rich off of your efforts, but it would be nice if your efforts were subsidized...I know a lot about setting these things up and could guide you in the process if it's something with which you are unfamiliar. Also if you are fundamentally opposed to advertising for some reason because of the community nature of your blog, I respect that but would still want to help you see the error of your ways. Lol Thanks again for an amazing rally last night!”

            Eric responded, “-Hahaha. Local advertising hasn't been easy - I've tried. But really I just don't know anything about Google Ads.” Kyle replied, ‘”Google is way easy to set up, what web platform are you using? We should meet and I can talk you through what I've done in the past.”  Eric said- “WordPress”.

 

9 October 2010 Saturday

Armed with two bottles of codeine and 10 days of antibiotics, I will conquer this bronchitis or die trying! My back up plan is my two gallons of 5 Alarm Texas chili to burn the demon viruses back to hell.

            Poor Kyle Foote, even down stairs in the basement, he can hear me hacking up a lung but my hounds all cuddle with me and gives moral support. Whatever you do don't catch this nasty virus it’s a bad one and not in a good way.

Kyle Foote and I put in a hard day work working on the stair case today then Buddy pushes a chair down the stairs and puts a dent in one of the treads! You can have a clean beautiful house or you can have kids and dogs but it seems you can't have both.

            I rather have the kids and dogs. Now I will have something to remember Buddy by when he's gone.

 

            As I get older the more I resemble Gabby Hayes. If you don't know who Gabby Hayes is there's definitely a generation gap.

            I jacked off this evening and something weird happened to my ejaculate. It was dark brown! I don’t know if it’s related to my medicines but when I jerked off this evening my ejaculate was brown instead of white.  That freaked me out because all my life it’s been a creamy white.

These antibiotics are doing a number on me.  That made me concerned for sure. I hadn’t jacked off in a week because of this cold and hadn’t felt like it, but this made me really nervous. I know for a fact that cum shouldn’t be brown. I wonder if this anti-biotic I am taking is doing a number on me or whether it’s something else.

            Greg Hardin wrote to Kyle saying, “Hey Mister, Your Birthday is coming up...is Ben gonna make you a chocolate cheesecake or any fun plans now that you are over 30 years old???”

 

10 October 2010 Sunday

                It was a beautiful Fall day in Utah... I am resting and getting over my cold. There’s Lots of things going on around me, but I’m too tired to attend any of them. I need to get peppy again.

             Kyle Foote and I did go up to the 1st Baptist Church for Curtis Price’s Investitures but the place was closed and the Kyle realized that it’s next week, on his birthday!

 

11 October 2010 Monday

I am back to school and my cough is better. I don’t sound so hoarse. I came home to find Kyle Foote working on the basement floor. It’s slowly getting done. I worked on roughing up the metal gate we bought on Sunday to put up at the top of the stairs to keep the dogs upstairs. I want to spray paint it white instead of the black color it is.

            I made Spaghetti Meatloaf for dinner. Not sure if Kyle liked it but he ate it. We watched ‘Planet 51” until I went to bed about 9:00.

            Today is National Coming Out Day so I posted on Face book: “In case you missed it I am a non-heterosexual opinionated fruity, sissified, fogey, effeminate, pansy, friend of Dorothy's, Gay as a Goose, that way, light in the loafers, big old Queer! Happy Coming Out Day. To quote the philosopher Popeye the Sailor man "I yam what I yam and all that I yam" Oh Mary it take a fairy to make something pretty.”

            Amy Barry wrote to Kyle, “Following up on your question from Friday.  After much searching and finally figuring out Kyle is your middle name I think I found your voter registration information.  If you are now living on Fernleaf your registration has been updated. Your new polling place is actually North Star Elementary - 1545 N Morton Dr (1965 W).  Not the Marmalade District but SLC, nonetheless.  Welcome to the city. Hope that helps. Amy.”

 

12 October 2010 Tuesday

Today my stomach and chest seems queasy. I think this antibiotic is really strong. However my cough is slowly going away.

      At school we worked making on our haunted houses for much of the day.

After work, I picked up ink for the printer at Office Max because I ran out last week while trying to print out a pattern for the art project.

            Kyle Foote wrote to Amy Barry regarding the Vendor list for the Sugar House Farmer’s Market. He said, “I'm excited for the last week, but a little sad that I won't get these fun emails from you anymore. Perhaps you can just send me random lists every week starting next week? Something along the lines of 35 reasons not to rake leaves in the rain or 27 varieties of pigeon feed.”

            He wrote Joselle Vanderhooft “Hi JoSelle, I know you are in the middle of putting the issue to bed. But I'm curious to know if you have any feedback for my first official "trial" column and also if you had room for it?  Cheers ~Kyle.”

            Then Kyle Foote sent a message to Greg Hardin regarding his plans for his birthday. “I don't have anything major planned other than meeting friends for drinks Saturday night at Jam. I imagine I'll spend Sunday, my actual birthday, recuperating from Saturday night. lol I'm not planning on making a big deal of it at all really.”

Greg then asked, “Are we still on for this Saturday (10/16) for the "Fence project" will you have enough time to prepare for your Birthday celebrations???” Kyle answered “Yes, tell your friend to be there by 11 am so we can get the fence done. I'll just have to leave by 5pm..” Greg added, “Right on, I love your girlfriend...you make a handsome couple.”

 

13 October 2010 Wednesday

The pill ‘Cephalexin’ is generic for ‘Keflex’ which was the antibiotics that was given to me.  It’s really powerful and doing a number on me but I am feeling better.

 

14 October 2010 Thursday

I was finally feeling like I am getting over this virus when I became infected with a horrible rash from working in the yard.   I got up this morning and was painting the gate that Kyle Foote is going to install at the top of the stairs for the dogs and doing some other painting until he came home. I then decided to work in the yard by cutting back some of the shrubs near the corner of my yard.

            I mowed the lawn, trimmed some shrubs, pulled some weeds, painted some trim, went to the store, and even in the back yard I found a $50 bill in the weeds. It must have blown in during a wind storm.  I gave it to Kyle for his birthday.

            When I was cutting back plants, I was in a hurry so I just used my bare hands and cutting shears to cut back the Myrtle Spurge instead of pulling it and my hands became covered with this milky latex ooze. The gnats were out in droves so it was miserable going.

            After showering later in the evening my face began to burn and my crotch where I had washed taking a shower.  I was so miserable and could not sleep at all.

            Don't ever pull myrtle spurge without gloves. I pulled a whole bunch and didn't get all the sticky latex like stuff off my hands good enough by showering and now my face is burning like someone rubbed a hot pepper on me. I can't find a remedy on line so I guess I will have to live with it until the morning and see how it goes then.  Some way to start the UEA Weekend.

 

15 October 2010 Friday

I am back from the brink of death. Well that's how it feels. I had Kyle take me to the Emergency Room at the University of Utah this morning at 6:30 when I got up and saw my face all swollen and my eyes swollen shut. I was there for 5 hours. I was in such misery.

            The Spurge Myrtle is like a harsh alkaline causing burning rash where ever I  had touched my body. My eyes were swollen shut. The doctors checked to see if I had scarring on my corneas but I was allergic to the eye dye and had to see another specialist.

            Poor Kyle came to pick me up but afraid I made him late for work. This stuff is so painful. The doctor gave some pills to take but that was all.

            I went back home and slept or tried to sleep for the rest of the day.

            Kyle wrote: “Note to Ben: Don't pull myrtle spurge without lots of protective clothing and gloves and a face mask. Also, next time don't wait until 6:30 am to have me drive you to the ER. Any time you need to go to the ER for a severe rash or any other reason you may wake me at any time. Thank You, Kyle.”

 

16 October 2010 Saturday

 

Oh no! June Cleaver died! ‘Ward I'm worried about the Beaver’. All us Baby Boomers need to lift a glass to the greatest TV mom ever, Barbara Billingsley. I hope she is buried with her string of pearls.

            I posted on face book a picture of Myrtle Spurge and wrote WARNING-Do not cut nor touch the milky ooze. Wear long rubber gloves when dealing with it and do not touch your face, nor hands, nor crotch. Unless you are into battery acid thrown on your skin. My rash is now producing little blisters on my hands and face and delicate parts of my body. I am slowly recovering from my ordeal. I am Happy doctors said there was no scarring on my corneas. Don't mess with Myrtle Spurge. Wouldn't that make a great drag name? I use to be ‘Belle Palsy’ maybe I'm Myrtle Spurge now. Ouch Ouch ouch.

            I managed to do some laundry washing for Kyle Foote and made split pea soup and some pork cutlets cooked in spaghetti sauce for supper.

            I took Kyle Foote and his friend Christine Johanson to Club Jam where he was having his birthday party. I couldn’t stay I was in too much misery.

 

17 October 2010 Sunday

At 2 in the morning Kyle Foote called from Club Jam’s asking me to come get him and his girlfriend Christine Johanson after the bar closed. He was totally drunk. I wished him happy birthday.

            My crotch was so inflamed still it was hard to sit and drive and I was glad to get back to bed. It's been many a year since I had to go out in the middle of the night to retrieve drunken revelers. Happy Birthday Kyle or should that be barfday?

            I got up about 9 after a fitful sleep because of the rash. It feels like my crotch is on fire and someone is sticking needles into my balls.

            It’s Kyle's birthday but I called it his barfday because he was throwing up all this morning. With my attack of the Killer Myrtle Spurge and his hang over, they left us listless all Sunday. Between his puking and my burning discomfort we were a sad pair.

            I wanted to go to Curtis Price's Investitures at 1st Baptist but we couldn't leave the house. So we watched ‘Longtime Companion” and I bawled again and then we watched ‘Great Balls of Fire” and I smiled again.

            I noticed that my Lambda Lore Article on Boyd K "the Truth is not very useful" Packer must have resonated with readers. It has 11 percent popularity when the highest I ever had before was about 5 percent. The average popularity for most articles in the Q is 1 or 2 percent. I am happy when I get a 2.

            Val Holly wrote saying, “To call this column "timely" is an understatement. Thanks for writing it.” Jim Dabakis wrote: “Ben, you could write about the Heber City phone book and I would read and love it. You are a treasure to our community!”

            In the news another naughty Utah public figure was caught in the men's room in a Salt Lake City Park. This time it was a 63 year old judge. I bet now he wished he would have just gone on Craig's List for a massage with a happy ending. It’s a lot cheaper than losing a career because he had needs. Maybe Boyd K Packers speech stressed him out.

 

18 October 2010 Monday

I went into work today feeling a little better but my crotch was giving me a lot of discomfort and by the end of the day I was exhausted. I made arrangements for a substitute for tomorrow. First time I’ve taken off all year.

            I emailed people and warned them about Myrtle Spurge and told them what it did to me.

            When I came home Coco was gone so Mike Romero must have picked her up early and Kyle Foote wasn’t here either. He called and said he had been working on Greg Hardin’s fence. I thought he was going to finish my stairs first so I was a little peeved about that.

            Anyway just watched some TV and had split pea soup for dinner.  One of Kyle’s boyfriends came over this evening. He seemed nice but I don’t remember his name.

 

19 October 2010 Tuesday

I took the day off from school.

            Michael Aaron sent me this email from Lara Gale. She wrote “Awesome column, thanks I can't figure out how to register on the Q Salt Lake site so I can leave this comment, but I wanted to send a huge thanks to Ben Williams for his column in the Oct 14 issue. I'm not LGBT, but I was raised LDS in Sandy and as a young person experienced a small taste of the confusion that population of young people must feel.

             There are so many earnest young people who know instinctively that something is wrong with what they're taught, but when you truly desire to do right, and every adult in your short life and most of the acceptable influences are LDS, it is very, very difficult to not accept the branding imposed at a very young age on those who so much as intimate the idea of questioning anything they're taught.

 

            I really appreciate Mr. Williams' thorough research, those quotes are important for LDS and non-LDS alike to read and acknowledge. After the LDS Church's own pathologically emotionally abusive communication this week - in the same statement telling LGBT that any sexual activity outside a heterosexual married relationship is wrong and then renouncing unkindness toward them - if anyone has any doubt as to whether this religion is a grand-scale brainwashing scheme, I hope Mr. Williams' column can serve as the nail in the coffin.

            "This is the first, the wildest and the wisest thing I know: that the soul exists and is built entirely out of attentiveness." — Mary Oliver”

            Joshua David Gold wrote to Kyle Foote “I offer you my apologies for the loud and emotionally potent way I responded to something you said in today's International Relations  class.  You did not deserve my aggressive response, although that's what you got from me.  Unlike Morgenthau's assertions, many of us wear our emotions on our sleeves - me included - and that resulted in me coming down very hard in response to what you said.  I am sorry. best regards, Josh Gold.”

            Kyle responded to Joshua David Gold, “  Dr. Gold, I am the one who should apologize for leaving you with the impression that I was offended in any way by your comments in class today. I am the youngest of 8 very outspoken children in a family that relished good natured, passionate debate often times infused with emotion and sarcasm. This was my method today, and therefore a handful of my comments were in-artfully provocative.

            I have tremendous respect for your passion and dedication to your chosen field of IR and Poli Sci. Although my true passions and dedications lie elsewhere, I find myself continually engaged in the subject matter you present each class. My drive to engage comes in large part from your teaching style and personal flair. I hope to have many more educational interactions like we shared today. Although perhaps in the future I'll be less chagrined when I find myself agreeing with your logic.  (There's that damned sarcasm again.) Cheers, Kyle Foote.”

 

20 October 2010 Wednesday

I went back into work after a fitful sleep. Priscilla was up at midnight crying because she was hungry and I was up about every two hours because of my balls stinging still.

            At school I held my term auction today.  I lost a student today so I am down to 19.  I was so tired by the end of the day.

            Yesterday Mike Romero said that he bought tickets for his family to see Lady GaGa in concert next March. He paid nearly $1000 for 6 tickets.

            Today Joselle Vanderhooft sent me the following email: “Hi Ben: To close out Gay History Month, I'm doing a feature on a few members of our community who work really hard but who often don't get the attention they deserve. Given how hard you've worked to preserve and educate about Utah's GLBTQ history, I wanted to include you in this--in fact, you were the first person who came to mind! Could we talk this week, or could I email you a few questions? Also, I haven't told you this enough, and I've been meaning to: But I love your column! I always smile when I see one come in, and I think you're just a fabulous person. :) – JoSelle.”

              I think Kyle is coming down with a cold or flu. He’s bundled up today.

 

21 October 2010 Thursday

Kyle Foote said he might have a new job at Salt Lake Community College being a media liaison person between the college and high schools. I hope so. His Farmer’s Market gig is over.  I made some chicken soup tonight for the weekend. Kyle is not feeling well.

 

22 October 2010 Friday

Today is my niece Denise’s 39th birthday. I will always be 20 years older than her.  It was Kind of a mellow day and much better than last Friday when I was in the emergency room.

            Kyle Foote worked on the stairs today putting on the trimming. He thinks he has strep so I bought him some medicine and last night I made a big pot of Chicken Soup!

            My rash is all about healed except I have some scabbing on my ball sac that still is giving me trouble.

            The weather is changing this weekend and I am glad. We need a hard freeze to kill this plague of gnats that are everywhere. I have never seen them so bad. There are swarms all over the city getting into your ears, mouth, nose if you are outside too long.

            I found some dog food that Priss is finally eating. She is blind as a bat now I fear and hobbles around but she is still eating and resting most of the time so we have to take it day by day.

            Vern Rawclift of SLCC wrote to Kyle on the subject the Volleyball Game Last Night. “Good morning all, I hope that you were able to get some rest. It was a long day. Thank you all for your tremendous effort last night. Despite some technical problems (like losing communication) we were able to add some elements to the broadcast not previously used. It takes a lot of concentration to be able to continue the work when you lose communication with the director. We had, I feel, a good show. Again, thank you for your professionalism. Sincerely, Vern.”

 

23 October 2010 Saturday

We worked on some of the floor board trim today. The weather is really changing now. It’s beginning to get colder. Kyle Foote and I went to Lowes and bought a Vise for $80 but we are returning it because we didn’t need it after all.

 

24 October 2010 Sunday

 It was kind of a lazy day to day just watching movies. Kyle Foote did get the latch for the dog gate fixed today so that’s good news. I found this YouTube site called “Steve Hayes Tired Old Queen at the Movies” that is so funny and good.

 

25 October 2010 Monday

It was a shitty day today anyway. It rained and howled all night and about 3:30 in the morning the power went off and it was off still when I went to work. So I had to get ready in the dark. That was no fun at all.  So I was rather tired all day.

            Kyle Foote hit me up for $250 to pay his restitution money and I agreed but said no more. I can give him room and board and use of the truck but that’s all.  He got a 20 hrs. per week job now at Salt Lake Community College as a media liaison person now so that is good.

            It’s not like Kyle and I are lovers, and I could have hired someone to do the floor and paint for what I’ve paid him already.

            Donald Steward emailed me and said that he heard that Russ Lane had died. I was at work when I read the email so it was hard to react. I later looked on his Face Book page where his brother said he had died yesterday. I knew he was ill.

            Last time I really spoke with Russ was at least 6 years ago at the downtown library. He looked so frail that even then it nearly broke my heart. He didn’t die of AIDS. He had something like cystic fibrosis or something. I am not really sure.

            In 1986 Russ Lane and my lives were so intertwined. He broke my heart because he didn’t love me as much as I loved him.  Another giant from my past gone.

            Kyle wrote to Vern Rawcliffe about a Payroll Question for his new job, “Vern, I got my first paycheck for the game I worked in September. I was paid for 4 hours, which is the correct amount for just the game. I also did 3.5 hours of orientation and new hire paperwork but this time didn't make it onto my time sheet. Can you add this time to the 10 hours I worked last week so I get paid for it on my next pay check? Sorry for the confusion, let me know if this makes sense to you. Regards, Kyle Foote.”

            He then wrote to Bill Bradford at SLCC with some ‘Housekeeping Items’.  “Hello Bill, I'm very excited to begin my endeavors and in fact I've already started. I've identified 23 High Schools in our target area and have already made appointments with 2 of them. I'll spend most of Wednesday contacting all of them and setting up appointments. So far the two I've spoken with are very enthusiastic and were excited to have me come in to visit.

            A couple housekeeping items though, for this new job: 1.Hours: Who do I turn my hours into and how do you want me to track them? I've been turning them into Vern by email up until now, but that was for the games. 2. Mileage: I will be driving around to a lot of schools, should I track my mileage for reimbursement, if so who do I turn that into? 3. Email: I already have an SLCC email address so you won't need to ask for a new one. 4.Contact info: When you order my business cards could you include my cell phone number on it as well? This will be the easiest way for anyone to get a hold of me other than email. 801-834-9423 5.Uniform: Would it be possible to get an SLCC Sweater or Jacket and either a Polo or a Button up shirt? Since I will be out in the High School's I think it's important to present the best "branded" image I can to the teachers and students I'll be working with. I wear a size small or extra small, I know I'm not a big guy... Sorry for the long email, these were just things I was hoping to clarify as I hit the ground running.

            I know you have a lot of responsibilities so if there is someone else I should be coordinating this stuff with please let me know. I don't want to take up too much of the time you have. Regards, Kyle Foote SLCC TV Media Liaison (Newly Minted)

 

26 October 2010 Tuesday

The weather is wet and really fall like. I found out that Russ Lane died here in Utah in Murray at the Intermountain Health Care Center. His brother wrote “Russ passed away from complications of diabetes; he also had advanced stages of Parkinson's and skin cancer. His natural and healthy eating made him shy away from traditional medical help until things had gotten too bad and then there wasn't much they could do.

            I had moved him back to SLC because I knew he was rapidly failing. He was staying with some people who were taking care of him and sometime between Friday night and Saturday morning his blood sugar level fell to 17, which caused him to go into a coma like state. He just didn't have the strength to recover from the affects.

            He died peacefully Sunday night at IHC in Murray. He was conscious when I got to SLC Sunday afternoon and I was able to spend a few hours with him again. I could tell from his eyes that he was ready to quit the fight and told him it was ok to do so.

            He passed about 5 hours later and was surrounded by people who loved and cared for him. Russ had made peace with his choices in life and knew that he could and should have done some things differently.

            My brother was a very caring and helpful person who never said a bad thing about anyone. I will miss him greatly and only wish we could have been closer, but the last two months we shared a lot.

            Per his wishes his body is being cremated and his ashes buried with my parents in Cedar Rapids, Iowa. Thanks for all you did for my brother and I'm sure he appreciated your help and friendship.”

            Kyle Foote wrote to Eric Ethington, “I noticed you finally have an ad on your web site! Way to go, I think you could put a couple more in that right hand column without cluttering things up too bad. Yay for generating a small amount of revenue. I'll be sure to click on lots of ads to help even more.” Eric replied, “Ha ha, Thanks cutie. That's the hope at least!”

            William Bradford from the Salt Lake Community College wrote to Kyle regarding some “Housekeeping Items.” “Hello Kyle: It was a pleasure to meet with you, and thanks for the info and requests.   I have not addressed all the issues yet, but I will by tomorrow some time.  The cards will take a few more days. More info to follow, and thanks for your energy. Bill.”

            Kyle wrote to JoSelle Vanderhooftt Tuesday, “Hi JoSelle, It's been a few weeks since I've heard from you. Just wanted to see when you would like my next article for my Q column. Also if you had any feedback for me I would LOVE it.  Cheers, Kyle.”

 

27 October 2010 Wednesday

Kyle Foote finished putting up the gate at the top of the stairs today.  So the dogs now have a permanent gate at the top of the stairs to keep them from charging people at the door. I brought home fried chicken for dinner.  Today is Chuck Whyte’s birthday.

 

28 October 2010 Thursday

I dreamed last night that everything that could go wrong at our class Halloween Party did.

            Today at noon was Russ Lane’s memorial service at the 1st Baptist Church at noon. I just couldn’t go because it was the kid’s Halloween Party.

            When Mike Romero came over to pick up Coco we first went to La Frontera’s for supper because we were in the mood for their great food.

            Kyle Foote finished the footboards on the stairs today.

            I watched ‘Hangover Square’ with Laird Cregar in it on the recommendation of Steve Hayes the tired old queen at the movies. It was excellent.

 

29 October 2010 Friday

I worked today at school without the kids being here and I got a lot done in preparation for the new term.

            I had Kyle Foote finish the wallboard trim today so the house really looks finished now. There’s just a few more pieces that need to be put in place.

            Mike Romero and I went driving around Rose Park looking at Halloween lights tonight with the hounds but there wasn’t a lot like last year. Even Peter Crane and Blair Lewis said they didn’t decorate as much.

            Kyle’s friend Anthony Dalton came over earlier dressed as a killer clown. He was so funny and young. Well at least Kyle brings a youthful air to the old house.

            This evening Mike and I watched Alfred Hitchcock’s ‘Rear Window’ when the kids went out partying.

            Greg Hardin wrote to Kyle Foote about his Kitchen Sink Faucet. “Kyle, Do you have time this weekend to come over and look at my kitchen sink faucet...it starting leaking again, but it's not the gasket this time???” Kyle responded, “I can possibly come by on Sunday and take a look at it, I'll give you a call on Sunday around 11 to let you know.  Is England plumbing open on Sunday if we need them?” Greg replied “Sounds good Kyle...England's is closed on Sunday. PS, Have a Happy Halloween.”

 

30 October 2010 Saturday

Mike Romero, Kyle Foote, and I went out to breakfast at Ambers this morning.  Then we went to the new Target store on 3rd West.  It was really nice. I bought Kyle a beard trimmer and some other things for the house.

            Kyle went out for Halloween tonight as a cowboy while I just stayed home and kept the dogs company.  About 5:30 this afternoon as I was leaving the grocery store it began to down pour. It rained hard for about another hour really putting a damper on the Trick or Treaters. The Mormons decided that Saturday will be the day for Trick or Treating. I didn’t answer the door.

 

31 October 2010 Sunday Halloween

The Mormons ruined Halloween because they did it all yesterday so it feels rather anti-climactic today. The weather was much better today so maybe God was unhappy with them trick or treating yesterday.

            Kyle Foote had a guy named Todd spend the night with him and I met him when he came up at breakfast. He seemed nice enough.

            Later Mike Romero, Kyle, and I went to Costco, Petco and Lowe’s today. I returned the vise to Lowe’s but bought a new doggie door which Kyle installed. Poor Daisy barely fits and it’s the same size as the old one!

            Kyle also finished the putting in the trim in the kitchen so finally the house main project of painting and laying the floor is finally done!

 

NOVEMBER

1 November 2010 Monday

I went back to school today. It was a beautiful day for the 1st of November.  After school I bought a Pizza for dinner but when I came home no one was there. Mike Romero had already picked up Coco and Kyle Foote was out. So I decided to clean up the garage and pick up all the tools and boards left lying around.

            Kyle came home about 6 this evening and said he had a rough day. He has to check in the 1st Monday of each month with his probation officers and they harassed him because they thought he hadn’t been paying his restitution and I know he has because I’ve given him $1000 towards it.   So he was all stressed out this evening.

             I decided to write my article for the Q tonight on Russ Lane.

            Kyle Foote wrote to Vern Rawcliffe regarding his Time Card for 10/16 through 10/3.  “Good morning Vern, Here is my time card. Let me know if you have any questions or if you would prefer it in a different format. Thank You Very Much, Kyle Foote.”

            Greg Hardin wrote to Kyle saying, “Kyle, Do you have any time this week to come over and look at my kitchen sink faucet??? Give me a call. Thanks!  Gregers.” Kyle answered, “I'm really tight on gas right now Greg, I don't know when I'll be able to get there. I couldn't come over yesterday because my tank is literally empty and I don't get my first pay check from my new job until Friday. I'll most likely be taking the bus to and from school tomorrow and Thursday, otherwise I’ll be getting rides from friends or staying home. I'll let you know if things change sooner, otherwise I'll come over as soon as I have the fuel to get to you.”

 

2 November 2010 Tuesday

I voted a straight Democrat ticket today so most of my guys lost except Arlyn Bradshaw and Sim Gill. Bradshaw used to be an officer in the Lesbian and Gay Student Union at the University. Oh well. The Repukes are back in power in the House. The Demos squandered their opportunities.

                In statewide elections in Utah, Democrats and progressive bills will never win. Mathesen is NOT a Democrat.

            We can take consolation in a hand full of SLC districts but we are as potent in the state legislature as a eunuch in a Harem. There needs to be more protests, more dissent, and more opposition to the conservative backlash. Don't bow to Theocratic Tyranny. Equality Utah must demand, not ask, for a place at the table.

            Sam Granato lost to Mike Lee by only 1800 votes in Salt Lake County 48 to 49 %. In the rest of the state it was 33 to 62. Hurrah for SL County the rest of the state sucks.

            Greg Hardin wrote to Kyle Foote regarding his kitchen sink “I fixed it myself! I got out the wrench and looked at it, took the part to England's and got a new part and it only cost me $2.75. PS, On your PWACU "Pick of the Week", remember that "AIDS" is an acronym and needs upper case lettering. (Just in case any of those die hard activist like me notice). <hugs>”

            Kyle Foote wrote back to Greg Hardin –“I'm glad you were able to fix the sink yourself! See, you don't need a man around the house. You have yourself! lol Thanks for the correction on my article. I'll be sure to remember to properly write out AIDS next time.  Hope you are well otherwise.”

            Kyle wrote to Eric Ethington asking, “Does Jam have Wi-Fi? If so and you still don't have a laptop I'll bring mine with so you can do your updates. That will be much easier than your phone. Unless you have already found somebody's computer to use, then fine. Be that way and don't use my computer! bitch.” Eric replied, “Could you? That would be fantastic!” Kyle said, “I won't get there until 8:30, but I always have it with me and I am more than happy to make it available to you, in exchange for beer or a hug or both of course.”

 

3 November 2010 Wednesday

I had a dentist appointment at 7 this morning so I was up at 5 so I could feed the dogs their treats and do my Utah stonewall Historical Society entry before heading out the door.

            Dr. McKay said I had no cavities and everything looked good so not going back until May next year.

            I am tired today because of lack of sleep but went shopping after work. I made some spaghetti the way Kyle Foote suggested. I am not too sure about it.  He wasn’t home when I came in and I left before he got up this morning so didn’t see him at all today.

 

                After President Obama was elected there was a run on gun stores and ammunition was almost depleted. Now that the Tea Party is taking over I feel it's OUR turn to arm ourselves.

            Kyle Foote wrote to Eric Ethington- “Hey, so I have been thinking that for my blog domain it might be better to go with something more generic as opposed to “mindgaymes.org”. Two alternatives that are available: LGBTMentalHealth.com  MentalPride.com Do you like either of these better than MindGaymes.org or do you have any other ideas? I kind of like MentalPride.com personally, but then LGBTMentalHealth would be better for SEO... I value your input. Another one that would be funny, since your blog is "PrideinUtah" would be PrideinMind.com... get it, keep pride in mind. lol That's too disconnected from mental health matters though, it sounds like a better equality blog than one dealing with depression and mental health resources....”

            Eric responded, “bahaha. Well it would be funny. Personally I like the LGBTMentalHealth.com better, as it would bring in more attention. It's also a bit more official sounding.”

            Kyle said, “I agree, more official sounding would be better. I do feel like that would raise the bar though on what I do. Since it sounds more official I would probably want to be more official. Not that there's a lot of room for opinion in mental health, but I would like to be able to keep a certain level of informality to the resource I’m creating. Do you think I could still be informal with such an officious domain?”

            Eric replied, “I think so yes, it just raises the requirement of your blog and what it looks like. Have you searched domains to find out if that one is even available?”

            Kyle answered, “Yes, all of the ones I suggested are available now. I just need to pick one.”

            Eric said, “I like the more official one. Even if you have to fake it for now, it gives you room to grow as your organization grows.” Kyle laughed and said, “I don't know that I ever want an "organization" but who knows... The consensus seems to be LGBTMentalHealth.com. I should be able to get this up by Monday or Tuesday of next week. Obviously It will be rudimentary at first. Thanks for your advice!”

            Eric ended saying, “ Always. Can't promise it'll be worth anything but I'm happy to give it ha-ha.”

 

4 November 2010 Thursday

`Roberto Abel wrote me this regarding Russ Lane. “I met Russ in Mexico City December 31st 1989 and moved with him to Salt Lake City in June 1990. I lived 10 years in Salt Lake then we moved to Texas as he got Parkinson and skin cancer and stopped working. So he moved to Texas with me about 4 years ago. Back in June I had to get back to Mexico and couldn’t help him anymore so his brother moved him back to Salt Lake City. Three weeks later he died. I was very sad that I couldn’t be with him in his last weeks but I am glad he left. He was suffering too much. But he was my best friend and he changed my life and I am glad I got to be his best friend as well. Thanks for your message. Robert.”

 

5 November 2010 Friday

I was drenched in a cold sweat last night.  That and the persistent cough I’ve had since Saturday has made me paranoid that I might be HIV positive now.

            When I came home from work, I made Kyle Foote cut some of the grape vines down from up in the trees. Yay! I was worried that with heavy snow, they might bring some branches down.

            I am kind of ticked off  that Kyle is staying here, room and board free and uses my truck, and he won’t even do the dishes.

            Poor Smokey my Schnauzer had a rough morning. He's 12 years. I want to find a vet that makes house calls when his time comes to leave us.

 

6 November 2010 Saturday

I had Kyle Foote go out to the dump with me this morning to get rid of all the branches we cut from the back yard.

            Five things to be grateful for- Priscilla, Smokey, Buddy and Daisy and a mop bucket.

            I posted on Face Book,  “You are not a really a true Utahn unless you know who Bernie Calderwood of Big Money Movie, Jackie Nokes of KSL Mid-day, Eugene Jelesniks of Talent Showcase and Bob Welte of KSL Weather are.”  I had 26 comments and responses from that post ha!

 

7 November 2010 Sunday

Kyle Foote and I went to the First Baptist Church today. Pastor Curtis Price gave a good uplifting talk and the Baptist mothers served a chicken stuffing casserole and a cake! Yummy!

            Today we are back on Standard Day Light Time, the way Nature and the Babylonians intended it to be. Don't kid yourself Daylight Savings doesn't save energy it just allows the rich to play golf longer.

 

8 November 2010 Monday

It rained all day, mixed with a little snow. I had four Parent Conferences until 4 o’clock and then I went down to Woods Cross to get a flu shot. It rained, rained, rained all day so I made a crock of chili and beans when I came home.

 

9 November 2010 Tuesday

I woke up to snow on the ground but it all melted off by afternoon. It was a long day at school. I didn’t get home until 7:30 this evening because of Parent Teachers Conferences.  I drank a big glass of wine tonight to unwind after coming home, after a long day. Kyle Foote said that Buddy wouldn’t eat but he finally did when I came home.

 

 

 

10 November 2010 Wednesday

I didn’t get home from the “Student Evaluation Plan” SEP conferences until 7:15 this evening but at least I got the majority of them out of the way.

            At home I watched “Union Station” with William Holden and Barry Fitzgerald. It is hilarious although it's meant to be a film noir from 1950. A bad guy gets killed by stampeding cattle, the police threaten to throw a bad guy in front of a train to get info from him.  Inspector Fitzgerald says, ‘make it look like an accident boys!’ The moll gets left in the gutter... I love it.

            Kyle Foote wrote to Kim Dalianis Zarkin, a professor at Westminster College about some Last Minute Rescheduling. “Hi Kim, I'd call you but I realized I don't have your number. Unfortunately a small fire has cropped up at work that I need to take care of. It doesn't look like I'll be able to get away in time or for long enough to enjoy soup with you today. I'm sorry, I was looking forward to it. Let's reschedule for soon though! Kyle.”

 

11 November 2010 Thursday Veterans Day

This morning I posted a lot of pictures of my uncles who served in WW II as it was Veteran Day. My last Parent Teacher’s SEP conference ended at 5 this afternoon so I was home in time to feed the dogs myself.

            My article on Russ Lane was printed in the QSalt Lake. It was the least I could do for a man I once loved.

            The Tired Old queen at the Movies suggested ‘The Big Clock’ and it was really good! It’s worth a watch just to see Charles Laughton twitch just one cheek before he flies into a homicidal rage. It stars Ray Milland who Laughton tried to set up for murder. Elsa Lancaster is wonderful as an eccentric artist. Worth it just to see Elsa and Charles in the same movie.

            Kyle Foote wrote- “Def a great watch! Tired Old Queen at the Movies gives pretty great suggestions and there's no other tired old queen I'd rather watch them with than you Ben.”

 

12 November 2010 Friday

My principal Liz Beck let us leave early at 1:30 so I shot out of school like a bullet. When I came home Kyle was still in pajamas watching TV and on the computer but later he left to go get his paycheck and to go rock wall climbing with some of his friends.

            When Mike Romero picked up Coco, we talked some. I am glad he has his little companion. She’s probably the only creature that can put up with him, his moods, and give him affection.

            I finally watched Glee on Hula TV and saw the bullying episode. It was really good.   I also got caught up on ‘Damages’ with Glenn Close in it. It’s good but kind of too involved and intense for me.

            I read that ‘AbFab’ is coming back to television with the original cast. Hooray! I cooked a turkey breast and dressing and all the extras for this weekend.

 

13 November 2010 Saturday

It was a do nothing day although I fixed a turkey dinner. I hadn’t seen Kyle Foote all day.

 

14 November 2010 Sunday

It was kind of a gloomy day today. I just read peoples Face Book remarks for much of the morning before calling Mike Romero and seeing if he wanted to go shopping. We went to the dollar store in South Salt Lake and then came home.

            I sent a bunch of turkey home with Mike and then watched TV for the rest of the day.  I called Mom this afternoon. She is feeling better especially now that the doctor has her on morphine for her arthritis.

 

15 November 2010 Monday

I was kind of ticked off at Kyle Foote when I came home and saw that the dishes had not been done. I mean Kyle only works 20 hours a week and only goes to school on Tuesday and Thursday. It would have taken him 30 minutes at the most. When he came home he ate a good dinner of my Turkey leftovers and later I came out to visit with me in the front room. He was watching the rest of the movie 2012.  I can’t stay upset because I like Kyle and more importantly Smoky likes him and lays in his lap while Kyle relaxes in the lazy boy.

 

16 November 2010 Tuesday

I got a new boy today so I am back up to 20 students and he’s a Polynesian so he can go either way, either sweet or a hellion. I had to get after him a few times already.

            I heard at school that our Guidance Counselor Trish Ferre, who I really like and who had Bell’s Palsy the same time I did, that her dog had been hit by a car and died. She is like me a real dog person and she talked about him all the time so I know she is broken hearted.

When I came home from school, I learned that Kyle Foote is in the clink again. While greeting the dogs, I received a phone call from someone who said that Kyle had been arrested and that I needed to come pick up my truck. I tried to find out why but the guy didn’t know anything more than violating his probation.  So it’s been a miserable day for several of my friends.

            So I called Mike Romero and asked him if he would take me down to Fremont Street which is just about 11th South and West Temple to get my truck. He said certainly since he was coming over to pick up Coco anyway.  I looked on the SLCounty Booking site and it showed that he was arrested today. He said he was picked up because he was late on two of his restitution payments but the booking info says he was  picked up for Issuing a bad check or draft and Fraudulent signing of stock subscriptions. But I wonder if these are old charges.

            Later in the evening Kyle managed to call me and gave me his pass words to get on to Face Book and make an announcement that his ‘Mind Gaymes’ meeting was canceled.  He thought he might be released tonight but then later he called me and said he may be in jail until Friday or even Monday since he can’t post bail.

            He asked me to email his boss at SLCC because he was supposed to tape some shows tomorrow.  I am not sure what to think about all this. I really like Kyle but I know so very little about him except that he does have a record.

            There are things about Kyle that are a mystery to me like the fact that he leaves the house almost each night about 8 or 8:30 and returns at midnight almost like clockwork. I wonder where he goes all though it’s not really any of my business. I am pretty certain he doesn’t do drugs or anything. 

            I care for Kyle but I am not really emotionally attached to him because he’s not done anything to make me really bond with him.

            I wrote to Greg Hardin saying “Confidential Kyle is in the clink again. He wants me to get the sheriff office to let him call my cell phone by something called a V-connect. I couldn't find any info on it on their web page. Do you know what that is?  I really know so little about Kyle. I think he wants to do good things and make amends for any wrongs he may have done in the past.

            On his charging info it says Issuing a bad check or draft and Fraudulent signing of stock subscriptions. Are these descriptions of why he was originally sent to jail or could these be new charges? I know so little how to understand these things.

            Kyle says he was picked up because he had been two months in arrears on his restitution but in October I gave him $1000 to be current so it just doesn't make sense to me.

            Kyle is a charmer but charm only goes so far with me. I have no reason not to trust Kyle because he's been fairly good to me although I think he could at least clean the house more on the days he's not in school but that is petty stuff. He's very good to the dogs and that is what counts the most to me. Hope you are well and your new roommate situation is good.”

            Greg Hardin wrote back, “Ben, Very sad news to hear about Kyle, and of course everything regarding our dear friend is confidential. The "V-connect" is where you call your CELL PHONE PROVIDER and set up a credit card account so that the collect calls that Kyle makes from the jail to you will be charged to your credit card account. I called the ankle monitor program and asked if they would send Kyle an application for the program and they told me that his bail is set too high and that he does not qualify for the program. I am hoping that when he has his arraignment that his attorney will ask if the bail could be lowered so that he will be able to qualify for the ankle monitor or that he will be able to get a bond. I will be home this evening. Call me if you want so that we can try and figure out how we can help him. Ben, you are a very dear friend and I want to thank you for all the generosity that you have given Kyle. PS, I have misplaced your telephone number.

            This is an article I found from 12 August 2008 written in the Salt Lake Tribune by Brian Maffy, “Once hailed as philanthropist-entrepreneur, Foote spun a web of deceit Warren Kyle Foote unburdened his conscience in the back of a Salt Lake City police car as officers hauled him to jail on a rash of bad check charges last November. He felt terrible for writing checks against closed accounts, knowing they would bounce, he told the officers.

            Utah securities regulators and prosecutors were dropping the hammer on the 28-year-old real estate developer, and Foote was fast approaching rock bottom that fall morning, only six months after Westminster College hailed him as a philanthropic and successful entrepreneur following his $3.4 million pledge to help launch the college's new Warren Kyle Foote Institute for New Enterprise.

            During the six-month period when Westminster fundraisers were courting Foote, he was becoming increasingly mired in a complex web of financial deceit, according to court documents. Criminal charges and lawsuits suggest Foote improperly shuffled money among his failing business ventures in a desperate ploy to keep them afloat and appease those who entrusted their money to him.

            He allegedly issued bad checks, some for thousands of dollars, involving others' money. And yet, in an interview with The Tribune, Foote claimed to have had every expectation he would meet his new seven-figure obligation.

            "This was early summer. The economy was on the ups. I couldn't go wrong. I had more projects than I could handle. It was just the beginning of the credit crunch," said Foote, who goes by his middle name Kyle and recently took a job in a Salt Lake City print shop.

            He claimed his businesses were still healthy when he worked with Westminster officials, but it's clear from court records that investors, banks, employees and vendors were hounding him at the time.

             Within a few months of his pledge, he faced three felony cases alleging multiple counts of fraud and bad-check writing involving numerous victims. But in early May 2007, Westminster issued a news release announcing that Foote had endowed the college with a $3.4 million gift and touting him as "a successful entrepreneur" who "owns and operates a number of successful enterprises."

            In truth, Foote was only two years out of a Chapter 7 bankruptcy and had no record of entrepreneurship nor success. Westminster spokeswoman Laura Murphy, who wrote the release, said these accolades were based on information Foote provided, and the Salt Lake City college does not customarily perform background checks on donors. "We don't grill people, [by asking] 'Where did you get your money and how are you going to pay us?' " she said.

            Foote never followed through with the gift, but the college opted against publicly retracting its release. The college quietly terminated its agreement with Foote after his first $1 million payment did not arrive by Sept. 1.

            Foote attended Westminster for a single semester in 1998 before dropping out to go on an LDS Church mission to Brazil. Upon his return, he served in the military and never returned to school, he said.

            After discharging his bankruptcy in March 2005, he began establishing businesses - WKF Associates, Red Outdoor and Development Partners - that prosecutors would later finger as fraudulent enterprises.

            According to Murphy, Foote approached the college in the fall of 2006 expressing a desire to join the college's President's Innovation Network, an investment club in which members commit to annual donations of $10,000 to support the college's strategic development goals.

            "As with so many development relationships, we got into a conversation and explored his interests," Murphy said. Over the course of six or seven visits, Jarrett introduced Foote to business professors and administrators and toured him around campus. Foote indicated an interest in organizational behavior and entrepreneurialism and managed to convince officials he made a fortune lending high-interest, short-term loans tied to real estate transactions.  "They talked about what it would take to have the Institute for New Enterprise named for him.

            At that point the discussion becomes pretty frank. There's a negotiation," Murphy said. Foote agreed to $3.4 million in payments timed with his pending real estate development projects.

            In his Tribune interview, Foote claimed he did not know Murphy was interviewing him for a news announcement, nor did he authorize its release. He did not want publicity nor the new institute named after him, he said.

            Foote's business associate Jake Terry, however, told The Tribune that Foote touted the gift, claiming it was actually $4.5 million to be paid over five years, as a way to build credibility in the business community. Foote also boasted the gift lent him pull with Westminster's business school.

            "He knew I wanted to get my MBA. He said he could get me into Westminster and they would waive tuition," said Terry, a University of Utah undergraduate who was a sales manager in Foote's billboard enterprise. Terry said Foote was excited about the new institute being named for him and sought his opinion on which of his names to attach to it.

            The Institute for New Enterprise launched last year with money from the President's Innovation Network. "We're still looking for someone who would like to endow the institute and have it named after them," said Lisa Actor, Westminster's assistant vice president for advancement.

            She described the Foote episode as "an unusual situation" that would not trigger changes in the way the school solicits funders. "It was a disappointment. I don't remember any red flags. He was a person who wanted to give back," Actor said. "We always enter into dialogue with potential donors in good faith, and we assume they are working with us in good faith." 

 

17 November 2010 Wednesday

At work talked to the Guidance Counselor Trish Ferre about the loss of her little dog. I know she needed someone to talk to her who understood.

            I talked to Greg Hardin a lot today about Kyle Foote. He knew more about how to get information from the corrections system then I do.  He thinks Kyle might not be able to wear an ankle monitor because his bail is too high $100,000.  He’s worried that these might be new charges too.

            He found out that Kyle’s arraignment is Friday so he will be incarcerated for at least over the weekend.  I was able to put some money in a V-Connect account so Kyle could call me which he did at 6 this evening. He asked me to pay his phone bill which is due tomorrow and post some information on his Face Book account to let people know he’s not available for a while.

            Later I tried to write my Q Salt Lake column and I struggled until I decided to write about the 1891 Hot Springs bath house incident when a SLC detective tried to blackmail a guy by accusing him of being Gay.  I didn’t get to bed until 11:00 tonight.

            Greg Hardin wrote me about Kyle;” A true friend is someone who loves/likes you unconditionally Ben and that is what you are!"  I am doing very well Ben, I hope you are well too! By any chance, do you know the name of Kyle's attorney? Maybe one of us could call his office and find out if we can get his bail reduced. I'll be home today after three if you wanna give me a call. Hugs!” He added, “Do you know if Kyle had any MONEY on him when he got picked up? We could put money on his books so that he can buy a phone card but he would have to wait until the day he orders from the commissary then, wait until he actually gets commissary. Right now he is in what they call "quarantine" and his visitor days are Saturdays and Mondays 9:00 AM to 9:00 PM. They usually keep inmates in quarantine for a few days until they "classify" them then move him into a new housing assignment then his visitor and commissary days will also change.

            Kyle had me write this Eric Ethington as if it was from him, while he was in jail – “Family emergency Sorry I will be unavailable for a couple of days. will get in touch when I get back  ~hugs~” Eric responded, “ Ok. Good luck and let me know if you need anything! Xoxo.”

 

18 November 2010 Thursday

I had a message on Face Book from my nephew James’ wife Rachel to call my sister Charline. When I did she said mom was in hospital in Phoenix with a stroke. The family was with her but Charline is pretty shook up and I went to bed after that, tearing up. I know I will lose mom someday but it’s still hard to think about it.

 

19 November 2010 Friday

My sister Charline Wachs wrote me this evening saying that Mom is doing much better than expected. She is talking and is in very good spirits. Charline also says that Mom is being monitored for her stroke and she has a good stroke doctor in Phoenix attending her. We just have to take it a few hours at a time and hope for improvement.

            I just watched Tyrone Powers and Myrna Loy in the disaster melodrama ‘The Rains Came” I had ordered it  from Netflix’s and watched it curled up with the hounds.

            I need a distraction.

 

20 November 2010 Saturday

This morning I wrote on Face Book, “Outside my window there is a Gray wintry dawn… A Slight breeze make the golden poplar leaves dance their last funereal fling… A whiten shroud is forecast to put to rest any muffled lament …To the east of Eden the everlasting hills are enclosed with gray cotton candy… It is late autumn in Salt Lake City.”

             About 10 this morning Mike Romero brought Coco over and then we went out to breakfast at Ambers and then shopping at Target where Mike bought some more toys for Coco and a little pink T-shirt that says ‘Princess’.

            I spent much of the rest of the day getting Christmas lights strung on my front porch steps. I'm the person you hate because I strung my Xmas lights today instead of waiting until after Thanksgiving. I am not a slave to tradition. I had turkey and dressing last week and I've got my lights up before the rain snow comes. So let it snow let it snow let in snow.

            I'm in my nightshirt, I've got veggie soup in the crockpot, and I am as snug as a bug in a rug. Oh the weather outside is frightful!

            I waited for Kyle Foote’s call from jail this evening. He said he had been moved out of quarantine to another unit with a lot more freedom to move about.  Tuesday is the next day I could go to visit him.

            I called my cousin Kay Campbell also and she said my uncle JW Johnson had called mom at the hospital and she was speaking, so that’s good.   I ordered flowers on-line for Mom, Charline, and for Mikes’ mom. I Spent over $100 but would have spent more than that going down to Arizona.

            My sister Charline wrote this about Mom: “I finally slept in my own bed. I did not even undress and laid down and at about 12:30 a.m. last night and did not move until about 7:30 a.m. this morning. Now for the news. Mom is doing better than we hoped. She was sleeping when we left her last night. She had a Hemorrhagic stroke. It affected her right side. As of now she is able to move her leg and her arm a little. She does know us and her speech is pretty good. But she does have problems with some words and has to stop and think about what she is trying to say. Denise says that we will have to learn The Granny language. She is in good spirits and that is a very good thing. She is at the Good Sam in Phoenix. 1111 E Mc Dowell Rd. Phoenix Az 85006. Her room is 626 Nurse Station is 602-839-2118 Her phone is 602-839-5504. You can reach me at in the evening. Home address 1169 W Loemann Dr. San Tan Valley AZ 85143. Thank you all for your prayers Charline.”

            I am grateful that my Mom is recovering so quickly from her stroke. Grateful to have a sister that is looking out for her. Grateful for a family that pulls together. Grateful that we accept each other no matter our faults and differences. Grateful that I have 1st 2nd and 3rd Cousins who still care about each other. I have a lot to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.

 

             I watched ‘Orson and Me’ this evening which was pretty good about Orson Welles.

Joe Redburn said he lost his little dog Maggie and posted on FB for help. I am glad that my hounds are all safe and warm inside. Jim Dabakis is back in town and asked me out to dinner next Tuesday at the New Yorker.

            Eric Ethington wrote to Kyle’s Face book saying, “Missing you Hope everything's Ok, I'm getting a little worried about you.” Then he wrote me, “Hey Ben. So none of us have heard from him. do you know where he is or if he's Ok?”

 I wrote him back the story that Kyle wanted me to tell people. “Kyle is okay. He had a family emergency and went out of state to Arizona. He Forgot his cell charger here. His computer has power plug issues so don't know if his battery is still good. I teach his nephew so if there was any real problem his sister would get a hold of me. He might not be back however until after Thanksgiving though. I'm sure he's frustrated too because you know how he updates all the time. He called collect to let me know he's fine. Did he leave any messages for you or is his computer dead too?”

            Eric replied, “I got a message from him before he left saying he'd be out of reach. Well glad to hear he's Ok, thanks Ben!”

 

21 November 2010 Sunday

Outside my window the darkness shimmers on a bed of silvery snow this morning. The boughs hang low, bowing to Jack Frost who is Lord of the Land.

                The Lake effect dropped about 6 inches of snow in the past hour now that the sun is up. I cleared the snow off of the deck so Priscilla can hobble around outside and now I am having hot coffee and an Apple Fritter. So let it snow. Winter has come to Utah.

            I am grateful that my Mom is recovering so quickly from her stroke. I am Grateful to have a sister that is looking out for her. I am Grateful for a family that pulls together. I am Grateful that we accept each other no matter our faults and differences. I am Grateful that I have 1st 2nd and 3rd Cousins who still care about each other. I have a lot to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.

 

            I Watched "A Song In My Heart" this Sunday curled up with Smokey while sipping soup. His Pancreas is failing him and he is losing so much weight. I've had him for 12 years now since he was a puppy but will keep him comfy and safe until it's his time to pass. Buddy will be heartbroken when he does. They are inseparable even if Smokey tries to bite him.

            In the news former President George W. Bush appeared at the Sandy Costco while on tour promoting his partially accurate new book, Decision Points. Despite a protest organized by Rocky Anderson that rallied all of 60 people at miles away at Pioneer Park, “Bush somehow soldiers on”.

 

22 November 2010 Monday

I signed up for Hulu Plus and they have all the old episodes and seasons of ‘Father Knows Best’ from the 1950s. “Bud” actually Billy Gray is hot in his tight t-shirt. The episode I watch was that Bud doesn't know how to dance. JFK was assassinated 47 years ago.

 

23 November 2010 Tuesday

There are storm warnings all over the state with schools closing. My principal Liz Beck told us all to go home as soon as we could. The Blizzard blew in at 5:00 in the afternoon.

            Daisy loves the blizzard but she's got the fat to keep her warm. Then she comes in and wants to jump up on me because she is so happy that it’s cold again. I’m Glad to be home in a warm house, with the hounds, watching Hula Plus shows. I hope nobody has to be out in the chill. It's going to be 9 degrees tonight here in the city.

                The Blizzard of 2010 seems to be a fizzle except its cold, cold, cold

 

24 November 2010 Wednesday

First day of my Thanksgiving Break.

 

25 November 2010 Thursday Thanksgiving

I had Michael Romero come over for Thanksgiving dinner. I made cornbread stuffed pork chops for dinner instead of a turkey and also made  a pumpkin pie.  It was too cold to do much. We watched some shows on Hulu-plus and that was fun. I hope Kyle Foote got to have a Thanksgiving dinner in jail.

            Eric Ethington who still thinks Kyle is just out of town wrote him, “You probably won't get this You probably won't get this on time, but Happy Thanksgiving! Thinking about you.”

            I wrote to Greg Hardin that Kyle called and wanted to me to wish him a happy thanksgiving. I saw this on Greg’s Face Book page, “Today at our family dinner. We do the rose and thorns...my rose: I'm thankful for a supportive family and friends. My thorn: I have a "friend" that is in jail and needs to be home with his family and friends.”

 

26 November 2010 Friday

Just laid around watching TV

 

27 November 2010 Saturday

I stayed inside most of the day. Poor Priscilla was wandering around in the snow in the back yard and didn’t know how to get back in the house. When I went outside to get her she just kept running away from me scared. I finally went and got a blanket that I threw over her and then carried her back up into the house. My little girl I think now has complete dementia and may be nearly blind.

 

28 November 2010 Sunday

Kyle Foote called and said that he could be released with an ankle monitor if I have a land line.

In the news WikiLeaks begins releasing the first of 250,000 U.S. Embassy messages. Wow.

 

29 November 2010 Monday

I was up and out at 6 this morning to snow blow the driveway and sidewalks because 7 inches of snow fell overnight. Then I shoveled the steps and the decks. The streets were still unplowed so it was tricky getting to work.

            I called Qwest about the phone jacks not working and they said they would have a repairman out tomorrow.

            Chevy Suburban aka Stephen Bolinder came over about 5 this afternoon to groom the dogs. We didn’t do Smokey because he’s so frail.  I had him groom Coco first so Mike Romero could head home afterwards. Chevy got the other two done by 7. He said that it helped that I gave them a bath first.  I paid Chevy $100 for all 3 dogs.

 

30 November 2010 Tuesday

I got a phone call at school from the jail today saying Kyle would be released today on condition of having an ankle monitor if the land line was working. The repair man was supposed to at the house by 4 in the afternoon so I rushed home but found that the phone was already working.

            When I called the phone company they said they came out earlier about noon and it was at their main connector box not even at the house so it was done.

            Kyle Foote and his probation officer came out about 8:30 this evening and after checking that the ankle monitor was working Kyle was cut loose. So my jail bird is home.

            I sat him down and went over some of the rules for staying here like showing me receipts for his restitution and helping out around the house.  Daisy is so happy to see Kyle again and wouldn’t leave his side.

 

DECEMBER

1 December 2010 Wednesday

It was another cold day, this first day of December. Today is my nephew James’ 42nd birthday.

            I had faculty meeting this morning so I had to leave the house early but Kyle Foote was gone before I was. When I came home Kyle and I worked on cleaning out the garage of Mike Romero’s things. When Mike came over to pick up Coco, we loaded up his SUV and the Sonoma truck.  We brought the remaining stuff that Mike had in the garage over to his place.

            I watched Glee on Hulu Plus and got Kyle hooked on the show “Reaper”.

            Greg Hardin wrote to Kyle, “Hey Kyle, Glad to hear that you are back, I know Ben was worried about you, as I was too. I hope that Maria & Sheri will let you be the Team Captain of the "Special Ed." Crew. LOL Let me know if there is anything I can do. <hugs>”

 

2 December 2010 Thursday

I am tired today for some reason. I am just kind of dragging. The weather is still cold but warming up enough to melt some of the snow. Icicles hang from all the eaves.

            Kyle Foote cleaned the garage out so he can now park the truck in the garage. He had the oil changed in the truck.

            I fixed some chili for tomorrow and had a Bacon, Lettuce and Tomato sandwich for dinner.

            Kyle and I watched another episode of ‘Reaper”. He’s hooked on the show too.

            I tried to write something for the QSalt Lake. I have nothing. I started several stories but couldn’t concentrate on them enough to really write so I went to bed and read a chapter of Secret Historian, the book Jim Dabakis gave me.

            I think it kind of pisses me off that Michael Aaron posted on Face Book that he was giving away 6 tickets to ‘White Christmas’ at the Pioneer Theater because the people who he original gave it to bailed. He posted it just 2 hours before the show began but I didn’t see it until after the show had started.

            I have written for Michael for 6 years with only a 4 month break. I have written without interruption for the past two years. If I was paid $40 per article I would have made nearly $2000 and they can’t acknowledge my contributions by throwing a bone to me once in a while? Whether I go to an event or not I feel I should be at least acknowledge along with Donald Steward aka Ruby Ridge as being the Q’s longest running columnists.

 

3 December 2010 Friday

When Mike Romero came over to pick up Coco, I told him about Priscilla pooping in the kitchen now because she can’t find her way out the doggie door. So we talked more about getting a vet to come out to the house to put Smokey and Pris down.

Michael called the Bountiful Vet where Smokey was treated and they said they do house calls with prior notice. So we made the hard decision to put Priscilla and Smokey down at the same time. Smokey is just fading and slowly starving and Priscilla is blind, back legs are giving out and has dementia. I can hardly consider the possibility of losing my babies but time has come. Mike wants to do it Thursday the 23rd when he’s off work. So that’s about three weeks away. I don’t know how I will stand it but I must for their little sakes. What a hard decision.

            Later in the evening Eric Ethington came to the house to see Kyle Foote but I think we ended up visiting the most. Kyle likes Eric but says he’s not attracted to him so it’s awkward.  Ethington told me of the dirt that is going on between Jackie Biskupski and Equality Utah and Ben McAdams. He said Jackie doesn’t want to work with Ben on Gay issues.

 

4 December 2010 Saturday

Mike Romero and I went to Ambers for breakfast before heading to Target for some groceries. I bought Daisy a big Rabbit Toy. She loves her dollies and Mike bought Coco another Christmas Outfit. Then I went with Kyle Foote to Lowe’s and Home Depot during the window of opportunity that he’s allowed out of the house.

            He went to Soup Kitchen for soup and a sandwich so we then also went to Smith’s where I bought stuff to make some soup for the weekend. It’s definitely soup weather.

 

5 December 2010 Sunday

I watched “Toy Story 3” this morning and got a little weepy with Smokey's resting head in my lap. Then Kyle Foote asked if I wanted to go to the First Baptist Church with him and I said sure.

            We stayed for the after service dinner. Then the fog rolled in about 2, but after getting home from church. It’s Probably an inversion.

            I made some pork Chili Verde and cooked up a turkey breast for sandwiches for the week. I am letting Priscilla eat as many cookies as she wants now as I think her time is coming fast to shake off this mortal coil. She is so out of it, blind and has dementia I fear. Smokey, Daisy, and Buddy, we all curled up and spent the afternoon watching Cary Grant climb all over Mt. Rushmore in “North by Northwest”.

 

6 December 2010 Monday

Mike Romero said that he thought he’d bring Smokey to the vet to be put down instead of having it done at home because he was worried that Buddy would get too excited. It’s probably a good idea.

            I saw that my QSL Pirate article was posted to a blog called ‘When Pigs Fly’ by a leather man guy named Chaz Antonelli. This morning in the Salt Lake Tribune, there was a column in the opinion section about a new study which supposedly proves that gay people really can change their orientation.

            Kyle Foote had a ‘friend’ named Trent over for a romp.

           

7 December 2010 Tuesday

Today is Pearl Harbor Day.  At school Ardell Arvidsen, our assistant principal, said that our Principal Liz Beck is considering having me teach an all boy split next year.

             When Mike Romero came over, I fixed him some soup in a bread bowl. Kyle Foote got permission to go to his NAMI group so I was home alone for much of the evening.

            The weather is a little warmer and Smokey and Priscilla both seem to do better when it’s not so freezing. Smokey threw up his beef dinner, however. He couldn’t digest it so I gave him some cooked Turkey and he seemed to have kept that down.

 

8 December 2010 Wednesday

Michael Aaron emailed me about the Men’s Choir Concert, saying “I have a pair of tickets for each of you if you can use them. The concerts are at the First Baptist Church, kitty-corner from East High School. There is plenty of parking. I’d suggest showing up early to get good seats.  QSaltLake is a large sponsor of the choir (for obvious reasons), so I have plenty of tickets for all of you.  Hope your December is going well.  Thank you for being part of QSaltLake.  –Michael.”

             I asked for two for Saturday. Michael Romero didn’t want to go and I wasn’t sure whether Kyle Foote would be in jail this weekend or not  so I asked Chuck Whyte and he said sure.

            Greg Hardin wrote to Kyle Foote about a fundraiser he wanted to do at Club Jam. He said, Kyle, I need to do a fundraiser for the royal court and I have a brilliant scathing idea, tell me if you like it? I want to have a "Calendar Boy" contest. Charge a minimum of $3.00 at the door, the winner gets half of the proceeds and the royal court gets the remaining proceeds. Can you help me with this fundraiser since you are very popular at Jam. I need help recruiting contestants and will you be my liaison with the owner of the club. I want to do this mid-January???”

 

            Kyle responded, “I can talk to my friend Bryan over there. We can get together so you can tell me what you want after I get off ankle monitor and the Semester, both of which should be by the end of next week. It sounds like a fun idea.”

 

9 December 2010 Thursday

My sister Charline wrote that Mom might becoming home either the 17th or 23rd. That’s good news.

 

10 December 2010 Friday

Today was the faculties’ Christmas Party. I didn’t go this year. The people here at Washington Elementary are good people but I see enough of them at work.  The Kids were so hyper this week that I was so glad it’s Friday.

            Kyle Foote had his court date this morning and they ordered him to work 40 hours a week with half of his pay going to restitution and that he will also be on for 9 months’ probation.  I am not sure whether he will be on an ankle monitor or what. He took off to go to a party tonight.

 

11 December  2010 Saturday

Michael Romero and I went out to breakfast at Ambers and then Kyle Foote met us there.  After that Kyle went home to put a pull switch light in the closet under the stairs steps. I really wanted that done to make that storage space more useful.

            Michael and I took Coco down to PetSmart to get Coco’s picture taken with Santa. Michael bought her a velvety red Xmas outfit. Who needs a Barbie for Xmas when he's got Coco? For a good cause money goes to CAWS. I Saw a Boston Terrier, a dachshund and a Scotty up for adoption. It was all I could do to keep from adopting the Boston Terrier.

            In the afternoon I then went with Michael out to South Jordan to see Randy and Kimberlee Gile and to look at the model for their new Townhouse. We visited for about two hours catching up. Michael also picked up his lap top he had loaned Randy last Spring.

            In the evening I went with Chuck Whyte to the Salt Lake Men’s Choir Christmas Concert at the First Baptist Church. Actually my favorite part was the audience singing with the Choir a rousing ‘Hark the Herald Angel Sings’ in the First Baptist Church. That brought Christmas home to me.

 

12 December 2010 Sunday

I had Mike Romero and Kyle Foote eat a Turkey dinner I made. I cooked up a big Turkey Breast because that is about all Smokey will eat these days.

 

13 December 2010 Monday

            School was rather mellow today compared to last week. Buddy snuggled with his Smokey this morning. I took a picture of Smokey being cuddle by Buddy.  Smokey is wasting away. I can’t imagine that he could last another week even if we don’t put him down. He is so weak he can’t even jump up on the bed anymore.

            I think Buddy knows that Smokey is not long for his world. Normally Smokey wouldn't allow anyone to be near him while sleeping. Even Daisy joined the snuggle fest.

            When Michael came over to pick up Coco we talked about putting down Smokey even sooner if he has a dramatic failure like not being able to get up.  I fixed Spaghetti for the both of us.

            Then I went to Smith’s to pick up my prescriptions and gave poor old Smokey and Buddy a ride. It won’t be long before it will be just Buddy.

            In the evening Kyle and I, after watching Bill Moyer’s Secret Government, had a rousing discussion of the history of the Mormon Church.

 

14 December 2010 Tuesday

No Entry

 

15 December 2010 Wednesday

I Stayed up to 11 finishing writing an article for the Salt Lake on the BYU Payne Papers, now called Prologue. Trust me that was way past my bed time.

            Kyle Foote wrote to Eric Ethington –“Hey Stranger! Do you know anybody who has tables to lend out? The RCGSE is throwing their snowball this weekend and they were planning on using the Pride Center’s tables as they have in the past but the Pride Center said no. They need like ten 8 foot tables, let me know if you have any ideas?”

            Eric responded- “Well hello! My normal recommendation would be the center unfortunately. Um... you could also try Utah AIDS Foundation, or maybe Equality Utah?

 

16 December 2010 Thursday

Priscilla had a seizure this evening. I walked into the kitchen just in time to see her fall on her side and shake, mouth twisted, and little legs shaking.  I was scared to death and didn’t know what to do. I kept rubbing her legs and sides but I was afraid she was having a stroke like Saffy did. Mike Romero’s phone wasn’t working so I couldn’t call him and Kyle Foote was out on a date so I had to deal with her alone.  When she came out of it, I just cried and cried.

17 December 2010 Friday

I had a hard night. Priscilla my 14 year old pup had a seizure last evening and I was up with her most of the night rubbing her hind legs and trying to calm her. What a helpless feeling.

                Michael Romero finally called this morning and I told him about Priscilla’s seizure. He then said he would take care of calling the vet to have Smokey and her put to sleep. Mike made an appointment with the vet for tomorrow Saturday to have them put down at 8:30 in the morning. I can tell that Smokey is just tired and worn out and Miss Pris' hind quarters cannot support her anymore. She's been blind and deaf for some time but the seizure was a wakeup call that they need our help for a peaceful end of life experience.

            School was miserable for me because it was all I could do to keep from bursting out in tears this last day of school before Winter Break. As I start to think how quiet my house will be this time tomorrow, this video on ‘Christian the Lion’ helps me when people say why be so upset it’s only an animal. I don't know how I will handle tomorrow morning because I have been crying for two days thinking of what I need to do to have my old pups have a quality end of life experience.

 

18 December Saturday

I couldn’t sleep past 6 this morning because I just wanted to spend as much time as I could with Smokey and Priscilla knowing this would be their last days on earth. I tried feeding Smokey some chicken luncheon meat that he loves but he just looked weary and wouldn’t eat. So I sat with him and petted him and told him what we were going to do and not because we didn’t want him anymore but because we loved him.

            I started taking some last pictures of both Priscilla and Smokey. I gave Priscilla two cookies and that is the last thing she will ever eat. I wanted something sweet in her because she was a darling dog.

            Smokey sniffed Daisy’s butt and then went and licked her nose something I never saw him do before.  It was so tough to keep it together and I could not keep my eyes from weeping.

            Finally Michael Romero came over and Kyle Foote took Buddy, Daisy, and Smokey in the PT Cruiser while I gathered up Pris in the pink blanket and I went with Mike and Coco.

             It was a very dreary gloomy day with a light drizzle as we drove to the Vet’s. There we transferred Coco to the Cruiser and Mike took Smokey. Mike had him wrapped in a gray blanket. We were there at 8:30 and it was nearly two hours before they were ready to do the procedure. They wanted to weigh them. Priscilla was 23 lbs. and Smokey was down to 17 pounds.

            The Vet came in and examined them and said she thought Smokey could live a little longer but it would be expensive. We said no. We were here and needed it done today. She said there was no doubt that Priscilla was ready.

            We had to pick out their urns for their cremains and Michael picked out two for Smokey because he wanted one to keep in the car so that he would always be his traveling companion which he was.

            Finally I had them give Pris a sedative because she was so bewildered and scared only because she was blind and had dementia and then they placed her on my lap and I held her in the pink blanket.  Then they took Smokey to put his IV in him and then brought him back and placed him in Michael’s lap.  They gave Priscilla two injections through the IV and she passed away in my lap being loved and petted and then I watched Smokey have the same procedure.

            The Vet checked to see if they were gone and then left them with us for a few minutes. We said our goodbyes and warped them in their blankets and placed them on the table. Michael broke down finally and cried over Smokey.

            We kissed them goodbye and then left to go home to see Coco, Buddy and Daisy, whom Kyle had taken back to the house.

Kyle was at home and he gave me a hugged. I could tell he had been crying too. I know he had gotten attached to Smokey who would sleep on the Lazy Boy’s foot rest next to Kyle’s feet.  Rest in peace my angels.

            As hard as it was on Michael, it is I who fed them, slept with them and worried so much about them after Michael moved out.  How empty the house feels now even though I have two angels still left that need my love and affection still.

            All day today I just felt like Pris was still under the bed and Smokey sleeping somewhere. It wasn’t until it was time for supper that I got weepy again because I only had to fix plates for 2 instead of 4. It's supper time, and I am only having to fix two bowls of food. That seems so strange after all these years.

            I won't hear Miss Pris drama anymore. She wouldn't eat until everyone had so she could bark and growl at the others. Smokey would always try to get Buddy's food and Buddy would sit and look at me to intervene. Supper had always been a crazy time but no more. I miss the craziness. So I didn’t have to worry about Smokey fussing with Buddy or Pris getting to eat without Daisy stealing hers and all of them having different needs.

Supper time made me so sad so after the pups ate I took them over to see Coco. She was so excited to have company and then Mike and I took them for a ride and to look at Christmas lights.

            I had a lot of friends on Face book send me their condolences. My own personal grief overshadowed the news that Elyse Gile graduated today in Florida and the Senate voted to allow Gays to serve openly in the military.

            How quiet seems the house tonight.

Kyle Foote wrote on his Face Book page: “It's hard to drive with tears in your eyes... I helped drive in the sad procession to take two of my friend Ben Williams dogs, Priscilla and Smokey to be put to sleep. They lived long and loved lives, they took little and gave so much in return. It is a sad time and we all might just need a few extra hugs.”

 

19 December 2010 Sunday

It’s been a gloomy rainy day. It’s warm for December nearly 45 degrees. It’s also the first full day without four dogs in the house and it seems so quiet.  I scrubbed the front room floor and actually all of the upstairs as well as do loads of laundry and there’s still more to do.  I had to wash all the rugs for any remaining pee spots. I moved the front room around some too.

            I haven’t heard or seen Kyle Foote all day. He is a nice person I suppose but this is not really his home. It’s just a place he is staying and playing. I guess he’s playing around now with David Castillo now, his new boyfriend. I know he went to the Royal Court’s annual Snowball yesterday because he was tagged in a photo with Debbie Rosenberg.

            In the afternoon Buddy was antsy to be out of the house so I took him and Daisy over to see Coco. I figure Daisy may want to go for rides more if she knows she is going to see Coco.

            I sent Michael Romero the last pictures I have of Priscilla and Smokey. I think one of the reasons I am so melancholy about the dogs being gone is that they were the last vestige of when Mike and I were a family living together.  It seems that I have always had four dogs so it seems strange to be down to two again.

            We had Oscar and Priscilla for only a year before we added Saffy to the family in 1997 and then of course Smokey came in 1998. So we had four dogs until 2002 when I put down Oscar due to old age.  We then had only three dogs until Saffy passed away in 2007 and we were only down to Smokey and Priscilla until that Spring when I got Daisy and Buddy. Buddy was a blessing for Smokey because I do believe he kept that old dog happy and somewhat healthy.

            So now after 3 years I am down to just the two and of course Coco but she’s not really mine.  It seemed lonely in the house today. Maybe because looking at old pictures of the dogs through the years I see how the house had changed over time. I feel like I should put a black wreath on the house and edge all my letters in black. I just need some time to mourn and grieve for two little companions I had raised since puppies. They were 14 years of my life too so maybe it feels like an end of an era for me.

            Back in 1996, I promised Priscilla her yard would be a park when we bought the house and I planted 15 trees in the backyard just for her. Smokey came to live with us 2 years later.          

 

20 December 2010 Monday

Kyle Foote came home this morning after spending a weekend away.  Saturday he went to Snowball and out with his boyfriend and spent Sunday with him. Daisy and Buddy were so happy to see him when he returned.  I think they thought he was gone also like Pris and Smokey.

             Michael Romero took off work today so he could get a new phone because his other had died and he was without contacts for most of the weekend. Also he wanted to get new glasses because Coco had chewed off the end ear pieces of his only pair. So he brought her over to play with the crew and we took off looking for glasses.

             I decided to get a pair too. We went to Costco 1st and I bought some chicken strips for the pups and Michael picked up his prescription. We headed to Bountiful and first went to Standard Optical and they wanted over $600 for two pair of glasses. So we went over to America’s Best and there a cute Gay boy named Gabe waited on us. He was so fun and personable.  Actually it kind of shocked me to hear him be so open with us in Bountiful.  It shows what my generation did for him.

            Anyway I paid $500 for two pairs of glasses because I have to have the high end because of my prescription. My frames are cheap the rest is just the lenses.  Michael bought two pairs also and his cost $350 but I paid $216 of that off of my district’s ‘Cafeteria plan’.  I wanted too because he paid for Priscilla and Smokey’s funeral.

            After getting the glasses and saying goodbye to ‘Gabby Gabe the good Gay Guy’ we went to Chuck A Rama in SLC for lunch. We haven’t eaten there since eating with Mark Anderson I think.

            It was good and then we went to Verizon at the Gateway to get Mike’s phone fixed so we didn’t get home until about 4:30 in the afternoon.

            Kyle Foote went in to work today but he was home when we got home.

            The Xmas lights on the porch blew the fuse for the outdoor outlet so I guess no more lights for the season. It is probably just as well since it seems appropriate to be dark and in mourning.

            Kyle paid me the $1000 back I gave him in October to pay his restitution.

            It’s been rainy off and on all day. It’s Kind of strange to have rain and no snow.

             I made Split Pea Soup and Chili tonight to have for the rest of the week. It’s soup weather for sure.

            I called John Reeves back in Boston and we talked for about an hour. He’s doing well. He just wanted to say how sorry he was about losing the pups.

            Kim Dalianis Zarkin wrote to Kyle-“Are we still on for 1pm at Soup Kitchen?  If there are any problems, you can text me. See you tomorrow!” Kyle Foote responded, “We are definitely on!”

 

            Greg Tracie Aviary Hardin wrote me saying, “Ben, My thoughts and prayers are with you this time of year. Thank you for your friendship and for the kindness you share with others!”

 

21 December 2010 Tuesday

It looks like a sugar frosted morning in Salt Lake City. It snowed for much of the morning so just worked on doing laundry and cleaning out closets.

            I deposited Kyle’s $1000 into my checking account. When Mike Romero came over to pick up Coco I put on the DVD a movie of the pups from 5 years ago.

            My sister Charline said on Face book that mom is coming home on the 23rd from her rehabilitation clinic..

            Kyle Foote wrote on Face Book “Santa swung by Best Buy today and picked up a new Kindle Wi-Fi for me and a nice leather cover for it. I can't wait to unwrap it and start using it on Christmas day.”

 

22 December 2010 Wednesday

‎On the rainiest December day I ever experienced in 35 years in Utah, Mike Romero and I went furniture shopping. He bought new recliners for his place and I bought a chaise lounge couch which color is listed as Gypsy Scarlet . Really how could I NOT buy a Gypsy Scarlet red couch? C'mon its Gypsy Scarlet!

            We started out the day simply by dropping off about five blankets and some old clothes to the Road Home Shelter for the homeless then going out to breakfast at CJ’s and I said how I wanted to look for a new recliner to replace the old vibrating Lazy Boy that the dogs had so thoroughly peed on over the years.

 

            We went to Big Lots and then to TJ Max Home Store where I bought an ottoman for the bay window and then we drove to 90th South to an RC Wiley’s clearance out-let store where we found lots of bargains. Bingo!

            Michael bought a chaise lounge for his upstairs to replace his futon and he bought a chocolate colored lazy boy recliner and a chocolate colored loveseat recliner for his place. He wanted to get rid of Mark Anderson’s old couch and loveseat that took up too much space and also had too many bad memories for him.

            I found a chaise couch for the front room and I also bought a chaise lounge like Mike’s for the movie room.  I also bought a Persian type rug.

            RC Wiley’s wouldn’t deliver up out way so we had to rent a Budget Truck to haul everything home. It was rainy for most of the day so it had to be covered. Kyle Foote came over to Mikes to help unload but we discovered that RC Wiley gave us three lounge couches instead of the loveseat recliners so we had to go all the way back down to 90th and Redwood again. Since we were paying mileage to Budget that cost us about $40 more for the 2nd trip.

            Kyle went off to another Christmas Party put unloaded my furniture into the garage before taking off.

            In the news President Obama signed into law the repeal of Don’t Ask Don’t Tell. "No longer will our country be denied the service of thousands of patriotic Americans who were forced to leave the military, regardless of their skills, no matter their bravery or their zeal, no matter their years of exemplary performance, because they happen to be Gay. "No longer will tens of thousands of Americans in. uniform be asked to live a lie." -Pres Obama. 

 

23 December 2010 Thursday

I spent most of the day cleaning house really well and doing tons of laundry. Kyle Foote  brought his boyfriend Dave Costilla over about three in the afternoon and they hauled up the couches from the garage  because I couldn’t have. With the help of Kyle and  Dave I got all my new furniture upstairs. If it was left up to me, I'd be sitting on a Scarlet Gypsy couch in the garage. I am so grateful for the strength of young men and their good will towards me.

            I wasn’t sure if the Scarlet Gypsy would fit but it did but I had to put the two winged back recliners in the movie room. I was puttering and putting everything in its new spot.

            I placed the TV by the bay window corner and placed the Lazy Boy against the south wall and have the couch facing east looking out the window.  Everything looks really nice and a good way to start off the New Year. Everything looks so different that it’s hard to have sad memories of Priscilla and Smokey not being here anymore. Buddy and Daisy already took dibs on the Scarlet Gypsy chaise.

 

24 December 2010 Friday

The Ghost of Christmas Past came tonight. Michael Romero wanted to go see the Giles in South Jordan and I give them a $50 gift card. We also wanted to look for dog collars for Buddy and Daisy. We caught the Giles as they were getting ready to go up to Salt Lake City to see Elyse’s old high school friend Tiffany for dinner so we didn’t stay long, just long enough for them to see Coco in her Christmas Outfit. The Gile’s place was all Christmassy with family projects and Gingerbread houses. They said that after eating with Tiffany that they would drop by the house to visit some more.

            After leaving the Giles we picked out a blue and red collar for Buddy and Daisy and also a cute Annie Oakley Cowboy outfit for Coco. It’s adorable. We then picked up a Cowboy Pizza from Papa Murphy and headed home.

            We were going to go cruise the mall but it was too gloomy out and I think we are  still tired from the all day shopping we did yesterday so decided we just to eat at home. Surprisingly Kyle Foote was there so he joined us.

            Mike had brought over some wine so we opened our Christmas gifts. Kyle bought me a Kitchen Aide Knife set and Michael a gift certificate to Starbucks. We got Kyle a gift cards to Stone Cold Ice Cream. We also opened all the doggie presents for them. 

     About 6:30 this evening I had a surprised call from Mark Andersen! At first I thought he just wanted to wish me a Merry Christmas but instead he asked if he could come stay at my place for a couple of days because he and Jessica had gotten into a big fight!  I said he could and then told Michael he’d never believe who just called and when I told him it was Mark, he gathered up his things and took off. He said he didn’t want to see him.

            Shortly after he left and barely having time to bring Kyle up to speed, Mark walks in, just in front of the Giles arriving.  Mark looked awful, thin, with scrapes on his forehead, and smelling of cigar smoke. I could tell he was in a downer mood. So could the Giles.

            I barely showed them around the newly remodeled place before they took off to see Mike. Kyle had left too leaving me alone with Mark.  I tried to get him to talk some but he was depressed. I guess he and Jessica got into a hitting fight and that she was drunk and yadda, yadda, yadda.

             I asked where the kids were and thankfully they weren’t at home but I told him that he needed to make up at least for tomorrow for the kids’ sake that they should have a spoiled Christmas because you two weren’t getting alone.

            Anyway he hung by the phone waiting for a call from Jessica while we watched ‘Caddy Shack’ and ‘Police Academy’; something light and not too cerebral.  Then at 10:30 at night I told Mark that I was going to bed and that he could sleep in the movie room if he liked.

            Next thing I knew about 12:30 in the morning he woke me up and said that he was leaving to go back to Jessica’s. I said that was probably for the best.  There was a time I would have wanted him to stay and for me to hold him and comfort him but that time had passed.  He just needed a place to cool down and there was no way I was going to turn him away on Christmas Eve but I wasn’t ready to be sucked back into his drama either. But now I am wide awake and hoping no more ghosts come tonight. Bah humbuggery.

            I wrote to Greg Hardin, “Hope you are having a Merry Christmas. Kyle said he saw you at Snowball. Are you going to Debbie and Carla's New Year eve Party?” Greg Hardin replied, “Merry Christmas Ben, This past week has been very bitter sweet for me. My uncle Pete passed away. His Big Fat Greek Funeral was yesterday and I have been working at Honey Baked Hams non-stop for the past two weeks. I hope your mother is doing better. Yes, I plan on going to the New Year's party. Hugs!”

 

Christmas 25 December  2010 Saturday

I spent a very mellow Christmas mostly alone. I called mom this morning and she seemed cheerful even with her great grandson Jayden Clark  screaming in the back ground about his Christmas toys.  She is on anti-depressants and I think that is helping her cope better with her conditions. She said she still needs help with getting to the toilet but James’s wife Rachel is there to help her a lot. So that I am thankful for.

            I made homemade a chicken pot pie and gingerbread cookies but Michael Romero is the only one to come over today. Kyle Foote and David Costilla were running from place to place.

            In the evening I watched ‘O Brother Where Art Thou’ before calling it a day.  I got the following Christmas Cards with these messages in them.

            Don Penrose-Ben: Yuletide greetings O Historian of the Gays I hope this finds you hale, happy, and warm Hugs and Love Don

            John Williams: Your cousin John Williams

            The Giles: We love you Randy Kimberlee Elyse and Kayla

            Kay Johnson Campbell: Junior I hope you have a good Christmas. We continue to keep your mom in our prayers. Love you! Kay and John

 

            Kathy Jasperson: Edd For about the last 20 years I’ve worked off and on (for ten years cumulative) for Davis School district. I’ve been a Chapter One Teacher’s Aide in Jr, High (3 years), a classroom aide at Adelaide and now this is my fourth year as a Title One Tutor. So far this year  out of the ten years has been my favorite! I’ve been assigned to the best class and the best teacher to work with. (it’s so nice to not dread coming to work each morning). Thank you for all you do for all of us! Sincere Best Wishes Kathy

            Jamie (Kyle Foot’s sister): Thank you for making this such a wonderful year for Morgan. He loves being in your class! I admire your dedication to teaching more than just academics and art but a genuine love of learning. I know Morgan is also benefitting from your “boy” influence. His dad is a workaholic who is largely absent from his life and he only has one living grandparent. You are making a difference in the lives of so many, especially my son. Thank you, thank you thank you!

            I wrote to Greg Hardin about a battle royal between to Drag Queens back in the 1980’s. I asked, “Do you know why Wanita and Dave were fighting? Was her name Wanita or Juanita? Do you remember? ‘11 July 1987 I was enjoying being with Billy Bikowski at the Deerhunter and seeing all the drag queens that had just left the P.R. Ball at Backstreet. Curtis Jensen (Marlene Lovebird) was there with Greg Hardin (Lulene Lovebird) who had a two foot high bouffant. Dave Waters (Darlene Lovebird) wasn’t there because he had gotten into a fight with another drag queen named “Wanita” I don’t know the details.’”

            Greg Hardin wrote back, “Wanita" and Darlene were dating at the time. I was up for Princess Royal but lost to Betty John by one point. Everyone was very upset especially Darlene. Wanita was a big Betty John fan and Darlene had made a comment about drug abuse. PS...the reason I wore a two foot high bouffant is because we thought it would be hilarious for Tasha to try and "crown" me. HEHE!”

 

26 December 2010 Sunday

Since Kyle Foote didn’t call to go to church, Mike Romero and I went to Bountiful and went shopping for leashes for the dogs. He also bought Coco two more out fits.

            We also went to Lowe’s where we bought a bunch of Xmas mark downs. They were 60 percent off. I bought some more string lights and a new timer and Michael bought a singing Christmas tree ha!

            We then went to Target because I wanted to get some pajama bottoms but they didn’t have any which was surprising.  So we just bought some groceries and went to the IN and Out Burger in Centerville.

            It was like a blizzard up in Davis County but here in Salt Lake we just were getting a skiff of snow.

             In the evening watch ‘The Event’ episodes on Hulu-Plus because Kyle was into the show. I couldn’t get into it myself. I fell asleep on the new couch again with Buddy and Daisy at my feet.

            I did call Mike’s folks and thanked them for the $50 they sent me for Xmas.  They went to Fort Collins where their granddaughter Christine Taylor announced an engagement to this Bulgarian fellow she had met. Faye said the flowers I ordered for her were really pretty.

 

27 December 2010 Monday

This kid named Karl Frazier who I met on Bear411 wants to get together with me for sex sometime this week. I said I would.

            Kyle Foote has a cold so I made some Chicken Soup but he wasn’t home to eat any of it.

            I went grocery shopping at Wal-Mart today mainly because I was looking for some flannel pajama bottoms but they didn’t have any.

            I put away all the Christmas decorations for another year. Xmas is done and the pink feather boa tree is packed away for another year. The white strings of lights on the front steps are for year round safety, so don't bitch about them being Xmas lights! My Xmas lights are color lights so there. Kyle restrung them so they don't look crappy like I had them.

            When Mike Romero picked up Coco we ate some soup together.  Kyle took the old furniture of Mike’s and mine, with the help of Jesse Henniger, to Our Store, the thrift store operated for the People With AIDS Coalition of Utah.

            I was home alone for the rest of the evening and I caught up on news and watched ‘It’s In the Bag’ an old Fred Allen movie from the 1940’s on  Netflix.

 

28 December 2010 Tuesday

Karl Frazier came over today about 12:30 this afternoon. We had been corresponding on Bear411. He has a partner named Garrett with whom he has an open relationship. He’s a very handsome cinnamon bear.

            We went into the movie room and got acquainted than started making out. He wanted to fuck me so I let him and I gave him a sensual massage. It was a very nice way to spend an afternoon. It’s nice to know that there's still some ginger left in my snaps.

 

29 December 2010 Wednesday

Our eye glasses were in, and since Mike Romero was off today we headed north into Bountiful. Kyle Foote was home so he went with us shopping. I was still looking for some flannel pajama bottoms and I found them at Shopko.

            It was rainy for most of the day. That seemed weird for this time of the year. Mike wanted to look for shoes and Kyle was looking for Docker kakis so we went up to Kohl’s in Centerville and then back down to Bountiful where we picked up our glasses from “gay” Gabe and ate lunch at the China Star.

            Since my dry cleaning laundry is right next door, I also dropped off some shirts.  I bought us lunch. I had garlic chicken, Kyle had beef and Portabella mushrooms and Michael had Mango Chicken. All very, very tasty.

            On the way home we stopped at Kmart in Woods Cross where Michael found the shoes he wanted. On our shopping excursions, Kyle bought some shirts but couldn’t find pants his size. I bought two flannel pajamas and tops as well as a nice bedspread that I am putting on the Gypsy Red couch and also a fleece lined throw blanket for the recliner. I am putting away all the Afghans.

             It still rained most of the day until just as we were coming home it turned to snow. So we just beat the storm. After Michael left with Coco, I made a banana-date-nut bread out of left over bananas and made also an enchilada casserole. I just watched some TV with Kyle before heading to bed.

 

30 December 2010 Thursday

I finally called and made an appointment to see Dr. Stoneburner on the 13th of January next year and paid some of my bills on-line.  I had a small round purple spot on my left arm I was worried about that kept getting bigger. Then it dawned on me that it was from Buddy. I've got a love bite on my arm where Buddy got carried away nibbling on me. He was being frisky and playful.  Michael Romero worked today so I baby-sat Coco.

            The snow dumped about 4 inches here but worse in other places. Chuck Whyte, who called to say he was going to Wendover for New Years Eve, said that he got a foot of snow over on the east side by Foothill.

            Kyle Foote left to go see his boyfriend David Costilla, who had a small fender bender on the freeway last night driving home in the storm, so I ended up snow blowing the driveway and sidewalks myself. My winter boots, that were dad’s. are about worn out now. I’ve had them for 7 years and dad bought them when he lived in Prescott, Arizona.

             When Mike came to pick up Coco I sent him home with chicken soup, enchiladas, banana bread, and grapefruit.

            I watched about six episodes of ‘Carnivale’ an HBO series and no matter how I tried I just could not get into it although it certainly is made well.

            David Costilla came over to spend the night with Kyle and I went to bed about 10 myself.

            I wrote my article for QSalt Lake on the 1987 March on Washington today.

            Greg Hardin wrote to Kyle, “Hey Kyle, I found out that our friend Terri Watson is back in jail. She has been sentenced, I was wondering if you could call our friends on the ankle monitor and find out if Terri is eligible? Do you have any fun plans for New Years Eve?”

 

31 December 2010 Friday

It was a very cold day on which to end the year; only 18 degrees. Kyle Foote, Mike Romero, and I went up to Big Eds up by the University for Breakfast but that’s about the only time I went out side.

            After Kyle left to make a round of New Year Eve parties, I just bundled up and watched some TV with the dogs. I really didn’t reflect too much on the year.  I thought a lot about losing Priscilla and Smokey but it was their time to go.

            I’ve been typing up my 1987 Journal a lot. I guess I could spend the rest of my life typing up my journals. 

Farewell 2010. It was an eventful year. It started out rough with Mark Andersen leaving Mike Romero high and dry and Ben Anderson doing me dirty when I was depending on him to be here for me.

            The first half of the year I was scared I was going to lose my teaching job and the second half I had Kyle Foote come and live with me while remodeling my house.

            I came down with Bell’s Palsy again, had a severe reaction to Splurge Myrtle, and some bronchitis too.

            The year ended on a sad note with putting Smokey and Priscilla down. I wonder what this new decade on the teens will bring?