Autumn 4th Quarter Journal 2016 October-December

 

OCTOBER

1 October 2016 Saturday

Spent much of the morning mowing the front yard and trimming back the tomato plants and some over grown bushes. Most of the green tomatoes are too small to mature before we get a frost this month so wanted the larger ones and those turning red have more chance of growth. Typing up research on Silas Jones this morning from Iowa newspapers. It’s what I suspected a murder suicide and arson. His wife killed him set the house on fire and then killed herself. Alan Anderson wanted me to meet them in the parking lot of Brewvies to go to a fundraiser for Sandra Hollings who is running for the state legislature from my district although the fundraiser was over in the Sugar House area. They were about a half hour late because of Kyle and it was warm sitting in the car waiting on them. Alan paid for my donation and we were given friend catfish, with collard greens, corn bread, and beans and rice. So good. Did I mention that Sandra Hollings is a black woman LOL. Most of the people there were die hard Democrats and black folks. Trump gets stranger and stranger. He tweeted at 3 am that an ex Miss USA winner who attacked him had been in a porno film which was a lie while his own wife posed for porn pictures and he himself had been in a porn film although he was fully clothed thank god. I think he lost his damn mind.

2 October 2016  Sunday

Spent the morning writing Kyle a letter, doing laundry, cleaning and mopping and preparing a nice Sunday dinner of pot roast, onion gravy, Baci rolls, summer squash from the garden, funeral potatoes with corn flake topping.  While downstairs I saw two dead mice in the downstairs bed room but when I went to sweep up the second one it jumped up and started running. Zombie mice. Alan Anderson said he and Kyle weren’t going to come, which I expected so it was just Bill Poore who brought a banana cream pie from Marie Callendar, Jim McMullen who brought mini apple tarts and Kent McKay Scadlock who felt well enough to come for dinner too. He had hernia surgery last Monday. Jim's partner T.J. Otaka is in Japan for his mother's funeral until October 6 so thought Jim might like a home cooked meal and some company... So it was a nice Sunday afternoon... Bill was frustrated because his hearing aid was not working and it is brand new. Jim stayed a while after the others left to visit and he asked why I had quit Gay Men Aloud so I told him about the conflict between me and Charles Frost.  He heard rumors that I quit because membership was declining because some felt my history lessons were boring.  But he said some stopped going like him because he met a group of people from the meeting like Merrill Crosby and Charles Bigo that he and TJ do things together outside the meeting. I said that was great because that was my vision for Gay Men Aloud to be social and expand our circle of friends rather than Charles vision of being lectured to. In the evening I cleaned up from dinner, and soaked in the hot tub when I could see flashes of lightning in the distance so just went to bed and after checking FB read some more from The Garden of Beasts before calling it a night about 10:30. I paid Kyle’s SLCC tuition this morning of $544. I guess Donald Trump’s ex-wife Marla Maples released Trumps tax returns from when they were married to the New York Times which showed a $900 million lost and he hasn’t had to pay taxes for 20 years! FB is going crazy over that.

·         Bill Poore Hey thanks for a great dinner and fun company.  The food was great.  I really like Kent and Jim is a sweet man.

·         Me He stayed until 4:30 ...I think he was lonesome.

·         Bill Poore yeah Daybreak is a long ways away from other gay men his age, they bade the decision to move there without really understanding the area....Downtown SLC has so much more to offer in every way. Terrie Williams banana cream pie...why that's my favorite

·         David Baker Wow!!how do I get.an invite to one of your fabulous dinners. I impressed with your menu and list of guests

·         Bill Poore Tell him to invite you over, bring the dogs (5) little doggie treats. Invite him to lunch, he feels he has to invite you dinner if you take him to lunch...he like Chinese.

·         Kent McKay Scadlock Thanks Ben! It was so good to see you. Dinner was lovely and it was nice to get out of the house for a bit.

·                     Bill Poore hope you are feeling better sweet boy....I am available if you need me to come over and clean your house for you until you feel better.

·                     T.J. Otaka Ben, thank you so much for taking care of Jim during my absence. I am sure he appreciated it and definitely I did appreciate your thoughtfulness. Hope to see you guys soon.

·         Richard P. Butler Damn! I had a corn dog, cheese puffs and a few cheese sticks.

·         Dear Kyle, I owe you two letters since I got two from you from the 18th and 22nd of September. I have been meaning to write but things just kept coming up. On the 22nd  I had an appointment up at the U of U Sleep Apnea Clinic to set me up for an overnight study. I have to go in on November 5th to get all wired up. I know I have sleep apnea but I have to go through the study for the Bariatric surgery. The appointment was fine but when I came out to start the car to go home, the battery was dead! And I only had a 5 percent battery charge on the phone but I did manage to call AAA before the phone died too. It took them nearly an hour before someone was able to come to me in Research Park. But it was a beautiful day and the leaves were all changing a pretty yellow color. So it wasn’t too bad just inconvenient. When the service woman arrived, she said my battery was dead so I had to buy a new one from AAA for $110. Not bad since they installed it. When heading down into the valley I saw an evil looking dark cloud front come swooping down from the west which contained a tornado that hit the South Ogden area with plummeting winds. No damage here but not that much rain but other places got plummeted. The weather turned from summer to fall quickly. It was cold and wet so I fixed some beef stew. Its changing from salad weather to soup weather. During the next week I also made corn chowder and Mexican Hamburger Soup. I gave much of it away to Bill Poore and Michael Romero. Yes I was happy that Nicole won Big Brother but now my interest in Big Brother show is about as exciting as cold gravy.  Not in the least bit interested in the internet Big Brother. Like you said it’s a summer show and summer is over for this year. I noticed there’s a season 2 of Scream Queen with all the same cast except this time placed in a hospital LOL. John Stamos and Kirsty Ally are part of this year’s cast.  The Chad Rodwell character and the doctor character that Stamos was in an argument scene in the shower and Chad is this the most homoerotic scene? And Wait did out penises touch? LOL It’s as gory as last season. Other than that haven’t watched much. I read a really excellent book by Erik Larson called “Dead Wake” which was about the sinking of the Lusitania. Everyone knows about the sinking of the Lusitania but know very little about the details... Most think it brought us into WWI but it didn't. One of the richest men in the world Alfred Vanderbilt was on it and drowned because there was no time like with the Titanic to make class distinctions. The ship went down in 18 minutes in sight of the coast of Ireland. The author leaves it to the reader to come to the conclusion that the British Admiralty left the liner vulnerable hoping the ships sinking by a German U-boat would bring America into the war... It was the 9/11 of its day... Excellent book, 450 pages and I read it in two days. He writes great historical nonfiction. I am reading another book of his called The Garden of the Beasts about William Dodd who was the first American ambassador sent to Germany after Hitler came to power. He was a history professor and not a diplomat and he had a daughter named Martha Dodd who was in her 20’s who slept with high ranking Nazi officials before becoming a spy for the Soviet Union… Really juicy book and all true. Been fighting off a mice infestation. Last summer it was a fly infestation. It’s like the plagues of Egypt here. At first I was being nice and used one of those high pitch electronic emitters… But after moving the refrigerator and seeing about two cups of mice droppings I had to do something more dramatic and have put out poison but not where the pups could ever get at them. So far I’ve seen four dead mice Ive had to depose of.  One I thought was dead when I went to sweep him up started running like a Zombie…Freaked me out no end.  It was down in your room LOL.          On Saturday the 24th I cleaned the house really well because I was hosting a Mabon celebration with some of my Pagan friends. I had dug out my fall and Halloween decorations, put up the jack o lanterns over the porch and garage lights and made a kettle of chicken soup and carrot cake.

I impulsively bought a faux leather pirate from Amazon.com. Its official I am a butt pirate. Aye Matey yo ho yo ho a pirates life for me. I guess I am reverting back to being a hippy because over the past month I bought a lava lamp, three African print pull over shirts, and a Morocco caftan. LOL I am still going to the gym three times a week in the morning. I walk a mile or two and that’s enough for this old guy. I didn’t watch any of the Presidential debate. I didn’t need 90 minutes to show me that Donald Trump is seriously deranged.  Only thing lighting up Facebook this past week is how Clinton creamed Donald Trump in the debate. Donald Trump some saying all his sniffling was the copious amount of  cocaine he snorted before the debate and his tweaking accounts for his 3 in the morning tweets about ridiculous attacks on people. On the 28th I had my endoscopy done and the two male assistants to Dr. Volckmann were so damn handsome so that was a plus. After the procedure when I came to, the female technician asked me if I used to teach school and I immediately recognized her as a student I had in 5th Grade at Orchard, Emily Astill. She was the sister of Bryce Astill the boy I posted who was so Sick in Ecuador last year...she said I was her favorite teacher and was surprised I remembered her. I said I remember all my kids...so I was in good hands. Rich Butler took me and picked me up and I walked out of there on my own steam instead of being wheeled out. This procedure was nothing like five years ago when I remember distinctly them putting the tube down my throat and how uncomfortable it was. This time I was out like a light and didn’t feel a thing. I however so sleepy the rest of the evening that I just went to bed and watched some shows on Hulu and Oh Brother Where Art Thou on YouTube before drifting off.  My next procedure is the sleep study on the 5th of November but there’s 3 nutrition and exercise classes I have to attend before that.

I know I need to get this bariatric surgery done. I’ve notice that I am getting  the neuropathy in my big toes and it’s are starting to get worse. Or its gout LOL. The day after the endoscopy my throat felt  all bruised kind of what I imagine deep throating the entire U of U football team. Well I suppose I really don't have to really imagine. Well not that Ive done a football team but in my younger days I had been known to partake in an all nighter in a bathhouse. The air conditioning in the cruiser is out again and I just had it repaired last June…so that’s another thing to bother about. Yes the weather is getting cooler but I need to get it taken care while there’s a warranty still on it. I had Dan Fahndrich over the other night to drink wine and sit in the hot tub.  One glass and I was a goner lol such a light weight... we caught up on thing we are doing and people we know... Dan Fahndrich works part time at the wine store on 3rd west... He can answer all your wine questions...unlike like me who enjoys a glass of Mogen David Jewish Kool-Aid...it was a perfect night for hot tubbing. He’s going on a two week wine tour of Northern Italy in the middle of the month. I had some friends over for Sunday Pot roast today and made your mother’s funeral potatoes to go along with it . One of my friends partner is in Japan for his mother’s funeral so I invited him over for dinner because he’s from back east and doesn’t know a lot of Gay men here. He and TJ live out in Daybreak where Randy and Kim bought a new house.  I didn’t write an article for the Q this week but for the historical society this Month Courtney Moser is talking about the March in Logan from 1993 so I posted this taken from my journal. I am really excited to hear Courtney's talk on the Logan March from 1993. This is from my journal dated “25 April 1993 Sunday- Today is the historic March on Washington for Gay and Lesbian Rights. I was there in spirit and also marching here in Utah. Yesterday I made arrangements with Melissa Sillitoe [President of the Youth Group and Director of the Utah Stonewall Center] and her spouse Michelle Davies to go with them to Logan for the Cache Valley Gay and Lesbian Alliance's first ever March and Rally. They were protesting the Logan's Herald Journal had dumped the "For Better or Worse" comic strip from their paper because of its homosexual theme. Anyway the rally was at 2 pm so we left at noon to be there on time. And my was it festive! I was impressed! Perhaps 200 or more Gay and Lesbians with their supporters showed up on the court house lawn carrying balloons, rainbow flags, and multi colored signs and posters. It really put Salt Lake's rally to shame. Media was out in droves and I had to ask cameramen not to put my face on camera now that I am teaching. Anyway the speakers were excellent especially Rebecca Wheeler, Darryl Ferman from the ACLU, and Ken Johnson this gorgeous blond man who was one of the organizers of the event. A lot of people came up from Salt Lake to lend their support. Ken said he was only expecting maybe fifty at the rally so he was really grateful. After the speeches, we marched from the court house about a half mile to the Herald Journal. This very sweet little old lady came up to me and said she was the mother of a Gay son who died horribly from AIDS last year and she told me she knew the Lord loved him and that He loves us all. That was a very compassionate thing for this woman to say. She also warned us that there were a lot of hateful people over at the Herald Journal building who were professing to be Christians. She said she couldn't stand to be over there because they were so full of hate but she said she could sense that we were full of love. I thanked her and said that her true Christian love is what will keep many Gay people in the faith. anyway over at the Herald Journal about 300 people were there acting as a counter demonstration spewing hateful jargon at us and carrying signs saying how God hates Gay people. Some skinheads and cowboy trash tried to block the March but the police who were out in full force made the bigots let us pass. As hateful catcalls were hurled at us I took notes, copied down anti-gay slogans while aware of the faces of the people who hated us. Some wore red arm bands which the Nazis and Hitlers youth wore to intimidate us. But as one speaker pointed out If we are so different from them why do they have to wear red arm bands to tell us apart from them? I also kept saying quietly to myself threw the crowd Though I walk through the valley of death I will fear no evil to bolster my extreme anxiety that we could be attacked at any moment. We all had our anxious moments but I said to this older woman who was marching with us that this event really does draw a line in the sand and I know what side I want to be on. Needless to say it was an anxious and exhilarating day and a true historic occasion. I am so glad I was here to March with these brave Logan folks if I couldn't be marching in Washington DC.” Days long gone by… I finally got a notice in the mail about the tuition for SLCC. I am not sure if it was for two classes or one but the amount due was $544.50. It’s paid so you should be current. Sometimes there’s additional fees at graduation.  I think I sent you your student ID but I had to change the password. Your user name is wfoote and password is Gayflower-69… you can go in and change it. Well it’s been a busy day and I am tired. I still have to change sheets and make up the bed. The Chi-Chi pups shed unlike the old Schnauzers but they aren’t costing me an arm and a leg in grooming either. I don’t know if I am going to make it down anymore this year with all that is coming up. If I need to put money on the books so you can call me I will… I hope you are well and are continuing to make self-improvements and thinking about what your life goals after you are released. I miss you. I have every day you have been away. As I was or every shall be your friend Ben

3 October 2016 Monday

It was wild weather last night with high winds and thunderstorms.  Harleigh was so nervous I brought him to bed and he slept next to me which is highly unusual for him. So it was a 4 dog night...even TJ was trembling under the covers...it's dark and windy out this morning an inky indigo sky. I went to the gym like a good fellow for an hour then came home and made a kettle of ham and lima bean soup for this blustery cool rainy autumn day. I still have some crusty Baci rolls.. Good eating when it’s done. No need to watch the Vice Presidential debates tonight since the Republicans already said Pence won! LOL. Eating supper in bed curled up with a good book...homemade ham and Lima bean soup with a slice of Caputo's Italian bread... TJ is under the covers and Maxx by my side... We are all tucked in for the night... "The New York attorney general has notified Donald Trump that his charitable foundation is violating state law — by soliciting donations without proper certificates” LOL...Ronald Reagan’s son Michael said his mother would have voted for Hillary… bad week for Trump. A Republican Mormon Congressman from Oregon told classified information to leaders of the Mormon Church according to a leaked video...Its looking like Marla Maples, Trumps ex-wife released the Taxes from 1995 showing Trump lost nearly a billion dollars that year. Hell has no fury as a woman scorned ... Good for you Marla

4 October 2016 Tuesday

I made Apple crisp tonight because it's October and time to make all things Apple. I also drove up to the University to check out where the Commanders Headquarter is as that is where the meeting is tomorrow and I had never been there before.  My old BYU college roommate Michael Allred turned 65 today where ever he may be.

·         Craig Hunter Wow, darn it looks good, if I lived there in Salt Lake City I'd have to take it upon myself to invite myself over tonight for some of that. Sure looks awesome! I love you Ben.

·          Edgar Ben Williams It would be better with ice cream than cool whip LOL

·         Jon Michael Look's just like my mom's!

·         Kathryn Warner Can I have your recipe?

·          Edgar Ben Williams Six apples [any kind but red delicious] pared cored and chopped 1 cup sugar or stevia 1 teaspoon cinnamon 1/4 teaspoon nutmeg Tsp vanilla 4 tbsp butter 1 cup of water... Mix and put in a kettle and cook until soft and tender... Mix 2 tbsp flour and 1/2 cup water until no lumps pour into hot mixture until it thickens and clears... Topping 3/4 cup oats 3\4 cup flour, 1\3 brown sugar, 2 tsp cinnamon, 1\2 cup butter...cut the butter in with fork or pastry cutter until lumpy. Pour Apple mixture into a 9 X 9 baking dish ... Cover it with oatmeal mixture and bake for half hour about 375 degrees

·         Roland Ron Holmgren Yum

·         Beau Chaine' BEN JUST HAVING YOU IN OUR LIVES EVERY DAY ON FACEBOOK MAKES EVERY DAY SWEET AS APPLE PIE! GB

·         Kathryn Warner Thanks

5 October 2016 Wednesday

I baked an apple cinnamon coffee cake this morning. Nervous I guess. My presentation on Gay history went well. I was up at Ft. Douglas by 11:40 and Luci Malin introduced me at noon and I actually finished on time.  I gave a presentation on Gay history from 1970 to 1975 here in SLC for an enrichment class the U offers for people over 50... I didn't see any Gay people so either they are awfully brave or I am... lol. The seniors were receptive and asked me a lot of questions afterward. It had been nice out when I went to Fort Douglas but when I left at 1:15 a squall blew in with rain and hail. I had on a sweater but many of the university boys were jacket less, head down into rain, and soaking wet...Had a busy day with having to present a history lesson this afternoon and then attending a Gay History lecture series this evening... Courtney Moser gave a fun presentation tonight on his activities in Logan. Courtney is a natural story teller and I could listen to him for hours. The history of the Logan 1993 March and Wienie World were very information. The visual aids were really great. There was a small turn out about 10 people and was surprised to see Andy Dalrymple. He cut his hair and was wearing a nice shirt. I told him he looks fuckable. He’s still full of anxieties though.  I think everyone learned something and had a good time. I am ready for bed this very autumn like day. Feels like autumn tonight glad I have three pups curled up next to me. Sarah Hunley passed away today. She "Juanita" the bar fly in Sordid Lives.  She was so good.

·         Lunch & Learn Lectures 10/5: Out of the Shadows: Utah's Gay Liberation 1969-1979 Ben Williams, Journalist The 1970s were a time of Gay Liberation and exponential organizational growth for the homosexual population of Utah. Spearheaded by a small group of anti-war activists at the University of Utah, Salt Lake City’s homosexual community experienced a paradigm shift during this decade. Consciousness- raising became the main form of activism adopted, patterned after the feminist and African American civil rights movements. Their work helped focus the attention of the broader gay community on resisting the oppression embedded in the dominant societal norms of the period. Ben Williams' lecture will give an overview of that first decade of community building.

6 October 2016 Thursday

I loathe self-check out. At Smith’s I only had five things, dog treats and trash bags to scan but as soon as I scanned the first item it said call for assistance...so had a person come by and they push some damn button to reset it. Then I scan a dog treat. That went through fine but when I scanned the second one which was the same thing and identical price it said to take it out of the bagging area and scan it again.  When I did it charged me for three items and not two! So I had to have the assistant come over again to delete the third item. It took me ten minutes and I could have breezed through the 15 item checkout line by the time I was done... I hate self-check... I have 137 FB friends about at least 100 of them are not political or at least they aren’t on FB...I have 33 friends who like Hillary Clinton's page, 2 who like Donald Trump’s page, and two who like Gary Johnson and none who liked Jill Stein. The two of course are relatives LOL. I Finished reading my book In the Garden of Beasts and now TJ is sound asleep by my side so I guess it's time me to hit the hay too...

·         Richard P. Butler I "Mostly" refuse to use self-check-out. It always seems like something goes wrong. So I use the regular check-out 99% of the time. Also I hate self-checkout because it takes a job away from someone and I don't see a discount for using it. My opinion.

·         Edgar Ben Williams Agree one hundred percent

·         Craig Hunter Some stores only have the u-scan stations early in the mornings and I hate that. I try to stay away from them.

·          James Connelley I have the same luck so I never use them. I've left stores with no other option.

·          Richard P. Butler Sometimes I am asked to use the "self" check-out and I refuse. They say they will do it for me. I still refuse. It makes the company think we want to use it and I don't!!!!

·         Stephanie Williams I don't like it either.

·         James Dabakis Ben, it is all in confidence. That machine, like a horse, can spell fear. Just approach, act butch and confident. That's the route to success with grocery scans--never let the electronics see you sweat.

·          Beau Chaine' CHANGE YOUR DEODORANT-IT KNOWS YOUR SCENT!

·          Edgar Ben Williams I am sure it smells fear when I approach...

7 October 2016 Friday

I was peeved with Kyle Daniels because yesterday he called as I was in bed and he stated he wanted to come over this morning around 10 am because he had the day off. So I was up early to straighten the house and fix me some breakfast. I made myself some waffles with bacon and eggs and then cleaned myself up for sex. Well ten o’clock came and went and at noon I texted him and said that I was going to the gym and I’d be home around 1 pm.  I worked out for an hour and walked about a mile on the tread mill and a half on the running track. The place was nearly deserted. I think Planet Fitness and all these other gyms that have a $10 a month membership is taking all the business from the rec center which is $30 a month. But since its free for me I don’t mind. I typed up some of the Cronkhite history and was on Face book much of the day over “Pussygate” LOL I made a crock pot of chili verde for tomorrow...it's always better if it sits overnight. I had a baked sweet potato for lunch. Harleigh liked it so much I shared with him. Finally Kyle called about 8 pm and asked if he still could come over and even though I was ready for bed I agreed and he came about 8:30. We went hot tubbing first and it was relaxing laying in his arms in the 104 degree water. I almost could have fallen asleep so we dried off and went to bed where we snuggled and caressed and I gave him a back rub.  Then I rolled over on my side and he penetrated me and fucked me until he came. We rested some but he wasn’t spent so I accommodated him by getting on my elbows and face in my pillow and let him have another go at it until he came again.  After resting and enjoying the afterglow I sent him home and I started cooking a crock pot of pinto beans for overnight before making a day of it. I saw on line that my childhood home the one mom and dad bought for $8500 is on the market for $550,000... It was a starter home when mom and dad bought it back in November 1954...it was a light beige stucco home with a red roof...dad built the masonry wall around the back yard...all the trees and oleander bushes are all gone. They remodeled it to make the old dining room, kitchen and front bedroom and living room all one big room. They put wood floors all through the house even my old bedroom...I must have been skinny to sneak out that window so many years ago...looks like they built a wall between the Casas who were our neighbors and us...

8 October 2016 Saturday

Kyle G. Daniels delivered a Clinton and Kaine yard sign last night and it went up first thing this morning...I wonder how long it will last? So I made Rich Butler’s recipe for Chili Rellenos today.  Turned out delicious I had Spanish Rice, Pinto Beans, chili rellenos smothered with Chili Verde for supper tonight. Here’s another recipe I need to try 2 pounds pork tenderloin. 2 apples, thinly sliced (only use 1 for recipe), 2 cups baby carrots, 2 cups baby potatoes, 3 cloves garlic, minced, 3 tablespoons honey, 2 tablespoons soy sauce 1 tablespoon Dijon mustard, 1 tablespoon balsamic vinegar, 1 teaspoon cinnamon Kosher salt to taste

9 October 2016 Sunday

It was dark out when the hounds started yapping for their treats. Stumbled out of bed, relieved my bladder and fed them their hot dogs and cheese before falling back to bed. I didn’t get up again until the sun did around 7:30. I fixed a modest breakfast of hashbrowns, scrambled eggs, and a slice of bacon. Had it with a buttered English muffin slathered with strawberry jam. I also had a large cup of coffee. It sounds like a lot but at least a fourth goes to Harleigh and the rest. Harleigh enjoys having breakfast with me. I owed Kyle another letter so I sent him a ten page missive of news, gossip, and my writings. That took all morning until noon. I didn’t talk to anyone today but lounge around went back to bed in the afternoon and watch my perennial favorite Abbot and Costello Meet Frankenstein. It’s not October if I don’t watch it. When I was a kid in Garden Grove channel 2’s Early Show that came on about 4:20 would always play it in October and I would scan the TV Guide in anticipation. I did not want to miss it. Now I have it on Video tape. I had lunch of left overs. Spanish Rice, chili verde smothered Rellenos, pinto beans and chips with Salsa. I made a lot. I would have invited Bill Poore over but a while ago he mentioned that he did not care for Mexican food. Oh Well more for me. When I went to mail Kyle’s letter found that I was out of envelopes so ran to Dollar Tree and bought some and then Since I was low on gas went to Smith’s to use my discount. Gas has come down again to $2.13 and with 10 cents off I got it at $2.03. Came home and addressed my letter then gave the pups a ride to the post office and then to the library to return the book The Garden of the Beasts. Tonight is the 2^nd Presidential Debate. I wasn’t going to watch it but I wanted to see how Anderson Cooper was doing. He is the first openly Gay person to moderate a Presidential debate. Trump shouldn't even be allowed in the same room with Hillary Clinton let alone the same stage... If you watched the entire debate you have a stronger stomach than I do.. Just watching him bully and lie for 5 minutes was enough for me... Trump looked like he was skulking Hillary standing behind her in a very menacing way. I recall just last summer the Republican Party was so concern about Trans people groping women in restrooms but now it seems that they are perfecting fine voting for someone who says he wants to grab pussies.  I was accidentally directed by Facebook to a conservative link that had Erik Trump praising his father Donald Trump’s performance last night... I read some of the 50 comments until I could stand it no more... They were like "I prayed for your father to win and my prayers were answered" " Thank you father for bringing the country back to Jesus" "God answers prayers for bringing us your father." It was like I had slipped into an alternate universe where Trump is the savior. It became clear to me that there are two Americas and I don't mean political parties... There's the vestige of the old aristocratic racist patriarchy inherited from the Southern plantation colonies that used religion and racism to oppress and exploit and a newer America built on the principles laid down 80 years ago by Roosevelt and the New Deal which tries to uphold the principles and ideas of the Enlightenment which are the foundation of our secular Constitution. The sectarians would elevate the Bible over the Constitution. That must never happen or we cease to be Americans and betrayers of Revolutionaries of 1776. America is an idea not just a country...that all men are created equal and endowed with certain inalienable rights and We the People govern ourselves. Dumb ass Republicans are wringing their hands and lamenting how did Trump ever become the Republican nominee for President? ...I will tell you how ... For never speaking out against hate talk show hosts, for allowing the Koch Brothers to create the Tea Party to hijack the conversation, for allowing white trash to disrespect the office of the Presidency, for never speaking out against racism, for allowing McCain to choose Sarah Palin as Vice President to placate the Tea Party fascists, by catering to the far right Christian extremists who'd replace the Constitution with a theocracy to support their hate agenda, by shutting down the government by extremists, by adopting an anti-science ideology, by not allowing women to be treated as rational human beings, by Mitch McConnell subverting a sitting president, by Fox News consistent telling false hoods....by never standing up to these people you created a constituency you can't control... Like the German elite who thought they could use the Little Corporal... The Republican ruling class is aghast now that their base has pick Donald Trump a reality tv show man to be the face and flag bearer of the Republican Party... You are all guilty... Because you had no decency. I sure hope Melania Trump is keeping her son Barron Trump away from all the media focus on Pussygate... After all Melania was pregnant with him when he was talking about sexual assaulting women... I wouldn't be surprised she doesn't divorce him when it's all over...

·         Dear Kyle, I got your letter from October 2nd on the 5th.  That was super-fast considering the week and a half it usually takes. You should be proud running the half marathon even if your legs did turn to jelly. This quote is me exactly “I went for a run but came back after two minutes because I forgot something… I forgot I’m out of shape and can’t run more than 2 minutes.” LOL I am still going to the Northwest Rec Center 3 times a week for about an hour. It’s free for old farts like me and it gets me off the computer and out of the house. I am not worried about losing weight but just retaining my strength. The bariatric surgery will take the weight off anyway. I hate to give you the sad news but Sarah Hunley has passed away. She would have been 79 on December 29th. She played “Juanita I forget” the bar fly on Sordid Lives. Some of her scenes and lines were nearly unforgettable especially when reminiscing about “old Cockadoodle” her bean art of a rooster she made in Bible School. On the 5th I was asked to give a talk on Gay history at Fort Douglas for a U of U enrichment class for seniors. It was mostly straight people but I said to myself that they had to be open minded or they wouldn’t be taking classes at our age. The Presentation on Gay history from 1970-1975 went well but a but a squall blew in with rain and hail when I left...I had on a sweater but many of the university boys were jacket less ...head down into rain and soaking wet... fun to watch them scramble while sitting dry in my car. That evening was my Utah Stonewall history lecture series and Courtney Moser presented on community building in Logan.  Yesterday Logan had a Pride Festival which the organizers called the first pride day in Logan. There’s no institutional memory in this community. The Cache Valley Alliance was doing “PrideFest” with a film festival for years before Courtney moved away in 2007.  Oh well.  Someone asked me the other day if I had any information on a kid named Boyd Paul for a person who is doing a book on Gay Mormon Suicides.  I think I surprised him when I pulled out my journal entries and sent him this- 15 October 1986 Wednesday After Salt Lake Affirmation tonight, here comes the good part, this really cute kid named Boyd Paul comes up to me and asks if I had a copy of all the different Gay groups in the community. I said if you like to come back to my apartment I can get you that list. He said sure and by his eagerness I was kind of flattered. Boyd is about six foot three inches tall, slender build, 23 years old and a BYU student. At my place I offered him a bowl of soup that I had cooking, and he ate two bowls full. Later he confessed that he mainly just ate more so that he could stay longer. I put some music on, then went and sat next to him. He was hoping I would be forward and I was hoping that he would be. Finally I reached over and kissed him. He was so sweet and responsive. We made out on the couch for about an half hour when then I suggested that we lie down on the bed. I simply had in mind to be more comfortable but he fervently begins stripping off his clothes. Never one to be a bad host I did likewise. We made love all night long wrapped in each other’s arms, and he came three times with him simply rubbing up against me and between my thighs. It was safe sex all the way without any penetration but I can’t begin to tell you how wonderful it felt being with someone who actually was turned on by me.  He was so keen on my beard, my hairy chest, and my kisses. I didn’t have to change anything about me to please him. He wanted me because he found me attractive! I was so thankful after being rejected by Russ Lane and Billy Bikowski and making me feel undesirable at last I met someone who the amazing qualities that are in me.  Boyd was so funny when I told him I was born in Texas; he said he loves Texas and Texans! Lying in bed in a lovers embrace we talked about ourselves. He said that he’s a returned missionary from Columbia but has left the church behind and doesn’t wear his garments anymore. Most importantly he not a Republican or likes to hunt! I think I love this guy. 16 October 1986 Thursday I spent a wonderful night wrapped in Boyd Paul’s arms. We didn’t get up until eight-thirty because we just didn’t want to get out of bed. We took a shower together and Boyd is so sweet. Well we’ve have seen each other in the morning and isn’t that a major test of any relationship? In the evening I mainly cleaned my filthy house and threw out more church stuff. I am trying to straighten up the place before my date tomorrow with Boyd Paul. 17 October 1986 Friday I kept thinking of my date and how much fun it was going to be. I dressed casually while Jon Butler was over visiting. Billy Bikowski called me about 6:45 to inquire about me but I told him that I couldn't talk long because I was expecting my date with Boyd Paul at any minute. In fact Boyd came to the door while I was on the phone so I was the one who got to cut Billy off for a change and hang up first. Yay! I introduced Boyd to Jon before he took off.  Boyd brought me a bottle of wine and I said that we could drink it when we returned home after our date. It was a wild and windy evening because of a storm front that was rolling through the valley but it wasn’t that cold, just kind of an autumn chill and it felt pleasant to be out in it.  We went to La Frontera for dinner and I ordered tamales with rice and beans while Boyd had a chicken enchilada. Encountered Jim Pincock at La Frontera who was sitting with some friends that appeared straight and it was good to see him again. We then went to Backstreet where the Gay Rodeo was having a benefit but it was the same old drag queen show. It was rather tiresome really, but we were sitting with Jim Hunsaker and he said he would sponsor us into the Sun after the show. So off to the Sun we went around ten thirty and the crowd there was small until after eleven so we had the dance floor basically to ourselves and we danced a while. There were not a lot of people at the club that I knew. I was half expecting to see Billy Bikowski and Scott Wallendorf but I didn’t. I was really enjoying my date with Boyd and when I spotted Brad Townsend, his Spanish Fork friend Steve Brackenbury, and Paul from BYU, I introduced them to Boyd.  Big mistake.  Paul was also with someone else from BYU and Boyd said that he wanted to visited and be with them.  However the way he said it to me, it sounded as if he was saying he wasn’t really ready to make a commit to a relationship with me. That came right out of left field because we hadn’t even discussed anything like that but it was a splash of cold water reality in my face. I told him I understood and to go talk to your friends from BYU, it’s okay. But he left me sitting alone for an hour while he was carried on with Paul and this other cute kid.  As the time ticked on I did a slow burn and then went out on the crowded dance floor by myself to dance out my hurt and frustration. Finally at midnight I found Boyd and asked him to take me home and I was cool and aloof to him all the way home. He wanted to walk me to my door and I suppose to fool around but I only had him come in and then said, “For future reference Boyd, the next time you go out on a date, try spending some time with you date.” He looked puzzled so I said I know you just wanted some feedback from other Gay BYU students but you didn’t have to spend the so much time with them.  I told him that he would see them again if he keeps going to community events but leaving me so long made me feel like a fool. I told him I was hurt by his insensitivity, that I did not have a good time, and mostly the evening was a drag. 18 October 1986 Saturday I felt rather lethargic and slightly depressed all day over Boyd Paul. I didn’t think he could affect me so much but he has. I talked to Jon Butler this morning and told him what happened on my date. He said I had a right to feel upset.  For example if a straight guy asked a girl out on a date and then leaves her for an hour to talk to some other girls that would be pretty crummy. Basically that is what Boyd did to me. He did apologize but still. I should be angrier but right now I am just feeling rather sad and missing him. Strange, I know. 19 October 1986 Sunday  I was plastered at Wasatch Affirmation and wore my Halloween prongers with little plastic pumpkins on the tips. It got a laugh. It was a big crowd at Affirmation. I saw Boyd Paul and when I did my heart went out my asshole as Sherrie Hartnek use to say. I went up to him and told him that I still wanted to be his friend and that I probably over reacted some last Friday. Well I said what I had to say and now the ball is in his court. During the introductions when people tell who they are, I might have been really drunk because I stood up and said that Affirmation is only here because of the service and dedication of Russ Lane. He later came up to me and gave me a hug but I said, “Don’t touch me unless you mean it.”  It was great to be looped.  When we broke up into smaller discussion groups I went to the one with Boyd in it so I could stare at him and be flamboyant. Boyd I have a crush on you!  20 October 1986 Monday I feel strange like change is in the air again. What to do? I am alone and it’s scary after all these years. It’s over between Billy Bikowski and I. It's over between Russ Lane and I, and I suppose between sweet Boyd Paul and I. 2 November 1986 We left to go pick up LaMont Draney for Affirmation because tonight was Pot Luck. I brought a pizza. I really like LaMont as a friend; he’s clever, funny, and so sweet. Anyway Affirmation was a blast with sixty-two people there! I counted them. The only downer of the evening was seeing Boyd Paul there and him acting aloof and distant to me. I guess I’m still hung up on him.  On the whole it was good to see my friends. I wore my leather headband and when people ask what’s up with that I say it’s my tribute to leather. It’s about all I can handle. 13 February 1989 Monday John Reeves called on from Boston and said his friend Val Holley who lives in Washington DC said Boyd Paul committed suicide in Washington jumping off a bridge. I made love to Boyd in October of 1986. We drifted far apart. I hope he's at rest now.  Additional Material Boyd Samuel Paul was born in Salt Lake City , Utah , on October 29, 1963. After graduating from Murray High School, he served an LDS mission to Cali , Colombia . Boyd graduated from Brigham Young University and served in the Air Force Reserve. He was an Eagle Scout and a member of Affirmation: Gay and Lesbian Mormons. At the time of his death he was working as a lobbyist in Washington , DC . Boyd committed suicide in Washington , DC on February 9, 1989 by jumping off an overpass onto a Washington Expressway. He was going to be outed to his Mormon parents. He was 25 years old. Boyd was survived by his parents, brothers, sisters, nephews, and some special friends in Washington , DC . He is buried at the Murray City Cemetery in Utah. That little drama all played out on your 7th birthday and I was 35 years old.  Now here it is 30 years later.  I will send you some money before your birthday so you can buy treats for yourself and your cellies. Don’t forget to pay your TV rental out of it. You don’t want to be without a TV over the election and the holidays coming up. Well Pussygate has knocked everything else off the radar on Facebook and in the news. Hardly any mention of Russia’s interference in an American election by its hackings, or the largest gathering of Native Americans in the past 20th and 21st centuries protesting the oil pipeline in North Dakota or Hurricane Matthew. Sorry for the folks in Florida, Georgia, SC and NC... If I was a religious man I'd say it's God’s wrath against all the hypocritical Trump supporting and Gay hating Christians.... And the stupid anti-government Libertarians ...they better not have their hands out for federal aid... A producer of “The Apprentice” named Bill Pruitt used Twitter yesterday the to warn that the “now infamous leaked audio of Trump” is just the beginning. I can only hope the Trump Brand gets so tarnished that he loses everything and the Russian Bankers collect on his debts... It will be yuge! Alec Baldwin was Donald Trump again on a Saturday Night Live proof and quipped "Billy Bush bytheway is the only Bush that mattered this election..." I almost spit out my coffee laughing. The commentator also said Donald Trump got what he wanted “a working mic.”  Well Donald Trump has made history with zero endorsements from Major Newspapers... I can’t believe that people can hate Hillary so much as to vote for this disgusting creature or throw their vote away on that numskull Gary Johnson. Trump and Pence have made Republican and liar synonymous... Republican Chris Ladd, of Texas, has quit the Republican party after being one of the leading Republican operatives.  He wrote about Republican support for Trump, “Our leaders’ compromise preserves their personal capital at our collective cost. Their refusal to dissent robs all Republicans of moral cover. Evasion and cowardice has prevailed over conscience. We are now, and shall indefinitely remain, the Party of Donald Trump.” This nowhere else is as true as in Utah when all these good Mormons piled on the Donald Trump ship of state although they are like rats abandoning that shipwreck now. Old Mormon carpetbagger Orrin Hatch took to Twitter on Friday the 7th and said “Mr. Trump’s comments were offensive and disgusting. There is no excuse for such degrading behavior. All women deserve to be treated with respect.” Well OK then, but has he is still endorsing him. "I totally endorse him," Sen Orrin Hatch told reporters after he and other Senate Republican leaders met with the billionaire businessman and reality television star.  There are still other pussy grabbing Utah Republicans who haven't left Donald Trump's corner either since the release of Trump’s 2005 “banter” that because he’s a celebrity he can sleep with whomever he wants. Rep. Rob Bishop, Greg Hughes and Attorney General Sean Reyes. They are still voting for Trump...Utah’s  deplorables. Governor Herbert the Horrible finally rescinded his endorsement of Trump as did Jon Huntsman. Lee, Chaffetz and Mia Love are now saying they won’t vote for Trump but Bishop and Hatch are hold outs. Other LDS Republican hypocrites are also calling for Trump to step down but none of them are calling for people to support Hillary Clinton, a truly decent moral person. Even the Deseret News called for Trump to drop out but dared not endorse Clinton and displease their overlords. Utah Republicans were okay with Donald Trump insulting Mexicans, Muslims, Gays and Rosie O’Donnell but insulting beautiful white women is where I suppose they draw the line. You can call McCain a loser for being a POW. You can say you are going to build a wall and have Mexico pay for it. You can lose nearly a billion dollars in one year and still call yourself a successful businessman. You can hire Russian operatives as campaign managers and praise Vladimir Putin as a strong man. You can call veterans with Post Traumatic Syndromes weaklings. But you dare not say Pussy.  There you have crossed the line of decency for Mormon Republicans. I love this quote from Michelle Vitali: “Imagine a woman who showed up unprepared to a presidential debate, sniffling like a coke addict and interrupting her opponent 70 times. Let’s further imagine that she’s had 5 children by three men, was a repeated adulterer, had multiple bankruptcies, paid zero federal taxes, and rooted for the housing crisis in which many thousands of families lost their homes. Wait…there’s more. She has never held any elected office in her life and evangelical Christians love her just as she is.”   Its unimaginable that a woman would not be crucified by the Republicans and yet Donald Trump is the man of the hour.  I wonder how many people who lost their homes and jobs from the Republican recession of 2008 will actually vote Republican. Some will I am sure. But some people are stupid beyond help. Donald Trump boondoggled folks by running for President on the premise that he's a brilliant businessman. If he's an example of how businessmen billionaires do business in America then we really need to reconsider unbridled capitalism. Most of these men are swindlers and should be in prison not in penthouses. It’s unbelievable the idiocy of some Trump Supporters who are attacking Hillary Clinton for Bill Clinton's affairs!  A friend of mine shared that “I encountered one a couple days ago. He's from high school and said the Clintons are murderers and rapists. To protect his children, he'll vote Trump. I couldn't even reply. So sad someone showed him how to reproduce. A neighbor now has Trump bumper sticker. The R is a gun pointed toward Hilary's logo. His other decals proclaim him as a Christian. They're beyond deplorable.” One woman on FB was so egregious that I had to respond to her after saying that Hillary was worse than Trump for supporting Bill Clinton’s rape of women.  I said, "You are a liar and a vile woman... Bill Clinton had consensual sex with those women who wanted sex with a powerful charismatic man...he betrayed Hillary ... He was impeached for lying to protect his wife from a public scandal...he was prosecuted by White Republicans who had ALL cheated on their wives...Hillary forgave him... Enough said ... This is about cretins like you who want the shift the focus off of Trump... Get some therapy." I am totally convinced rabid Hillary Clinton haters are suffering from mental illness.  My friend Kyle Daniels delivered a Clinton and Kaine yard sign Saturday night and it went up first thing this morning...I wonder how long it will last before someone steals it? Comedian Robin Thede is so funny she spoofed Trump’s Mexican comments. She twitted, “When the Republican Party elects a nominee they’re not sending their best. They’re criminals. They’re rapists.” I am no therapist but I believe Trump is a Sociopath. His comments show that a woman’s value is based on whether Trump is aroused by them. People involved in the USA Beauty Contest and The Apprentice all said that Donald would favor the women with big tits and who he considered beautiful. And all those “good Christian women.” keep on supporting him because Hilary is so evil when in truth they think she’s too uppity. She should be home baking cookies and rubbing her man’s feet. I do not want Trump to step down. I don’t think he will unless he is threatened or blackmailed. I fear a Pence presidency as much. That man is a Christian Dominionists and will turn America into a Theocracy and is a threat to the Constitution which they would replace with the Bible. I say the Republicans soiled their bed so let them wallow in the mess. Donald Trump was not an accident. Sixteen Republicans ran for President and Trump won the Republican National Convention’s nomination. No one called Trump a gold leaf covered turd. They allowed the Hannities, Limbaughs, and Coulters of the world spew their toxicity into the body politick. Let them deal with it.  I love the fact that the Mormons will have to actually look at the ballot this year instead of pressing the R button and voting a straight Republican Ticket. I suppose most Hillary haters will vote for bat shot crazy Gary Johnson who can’t name an international leader, didn't know what Aleppo was, or who the leader of North Korea is, and who actually said you can’t go to war with countries if you don't know where they are. He also wants to increase the age for social security to 75, do away with the affordable care act, the department of Education, keep Citizen United and opposes Climate regulations. Yeah let this pothead Ayn Rand libertarian him have nuclear codes as Russia is increasingly becoming more menacing. Well we will see how “Pussygate” plays out on the Presidential Debate tonight. Those blinded by their hatred of progressives, blacks, Mexicans, Muslims, Gays, feminists, and intellectuals will have already made their minds up that Trump is the winner before it begins. You see the adoration of Trump by the trash of America, the white supremacists, the Gay hating evangelicals, the “Patriot Militia groups”  and other Obama hating far right wing fanatics at his rallies.  They will vote for him even if he took a dump on stage and stuck an American flag in it.    Well we only have four weeks left of this lunacy. It is definitely fall here now. The horrible heat we had this summer is finally over. We have even gotten some rain to break the summer drought.  The nights are cool and the days are really pleasant.  The garden is still producing late into the season this year but I was disappointed that none of my pumpkin plants produced.  Not sure why. Perhaps the heat and the drought.  It’s been soup weather for sure. I’ve made lima bean and ham, Mexican beef soup, chicken noodle, and corn chowder but no chili yet. Waiting for it to really cool down.  I did make some Chili Verde this weekend the first since last winter. I made some chili Rellanos to smother with the Chili Verde. The house is all decorated with autumn leaves, candles, and jack-o-lanterns so it’s getting time for the veil between the living and the dead to become thin. I’ve finished reading another book by Erik Larson called The Garden of Beasts. It’s about William Dodd being Ambassador to Germany when Hitler was elected Chancellor in 1933. He was not a diplomat but a history professor and he witnessed the change in the German people under fascism and his observations of Goebbel, Himmler, and Goering. His daughter Martha was “sexually active” and slept with Nazi big wigs as well as Soviet Communists as a “free spirit”. The name of the book comes from the  Tiergarten Park in Berlin which was like Central Park in New York City. It used to be a hunting preserve for the Prussian Kings and means Garden of the Beasts. William Dobb kept warning the state department how dangerous Hitler’s government was but they were more interested in keeping cordial relations so that Germany would pay back millions it owed to American lenders which it never did. Here’s my talk for the U of U: For this presentation, rather than use the modern acronym of LGBTQ, I will simply use the word Gay. Until the mid to late 1970’s Gay was considered inclusive of both men and women homosexuals and transsexuals.  It was not until the latter half of the decade did the term Gay and Lesbian come in common use when the Lesbian separatist’s movement requested the use of the term Gay and Lesbian even though Gay was still considered a non-gender specific word much like homosexual.  It was not until two decades later in the 1990’s was the term bi-sexual added to Gay and Lesbian organizations and nearly a decade after later was the T for Transgender included in the modern sexual minority status.  At the beginning of the 1970’s most open homosexuals identified with the umbrella term Gay.  The influence of the 1969 riots at Stonewall Inn cannot be over emphasize as the catalyst for the paradigm shift of what it meant to be a homosexual.  Events there led to the creation of Gay communities across the nation especially here in Utah. Before Stonewall, the term “coming out” simply meant acknowledging to one’s self one’s homosexuality. After Stonewall “coming out” took an entirely different meaning. Coming Out meant telling others that you were Gay so as that your fate was now tied to the fate of others thus creating a sense of community, a sense of identity. Prior to Stonewall there were less than 50 Gay and Lesbian organizations in the nation. After Stonewall there were nearly 40 organizations in Utah alone by the end of the decade.  As the Decade of the 1970’s began, there was no sense of a Gay community in Utah. This does not suggests there weren’t homosexuals in Utah but rather there were no public social outlets to express one’s homosexuality.  Only two bars openly catered to a discreet homosexual cliental.  But that all was soon to change from events that happened six months before in New York City.  The uprising against police oppression of homosexuals at the Stonewall Inn at the end of June 1969 led to the formation of the Gay Liberation Front. The GFL was loosely patterned after other antiestablishment social movements, like the anti-war movement, the Black Panthers and Women’s liberation as well as.  The Gay Liberation Front found fertile ground on college campus on both coasts. One individual attending a Gay Liberation Front meeting at Berkeley was a student named Ralph Place. Returning to Salt Lake City in the fall of 1969 he moved into a hippie commune located in the lower Avenue whose residents were mostly homosexuals. The commune was run by a lesbian named Pam Mayne who like the ideas that Place had brought with him about Gays being an oppressed minority.  After gathering a few others to the group,  they formed a Gay Liberation Front on 11 October 1969 to be part of the National War Moratorium Protest. The GLF was the first organization in Utah to advocate Gay Civil rights. Utah was not a conducive environment for such advocacy. In early 1970 the LDS First Presidency, sensing a national relaxing of attitudes towards homosexuality, issued the following warning “There is much concern on part of the brethren concerning the apparent increase in homosexuality and other deviations, and we call to your attention a program designed... to counsel and direct them back to total normalcy and happiness.” The program referenced was that of  LDS Apostle, Elder Spencer W Kimball’s pamphlet  called New Horizons for Homosexuals which was later renamed A Letter to A Friend. The pamphlet had had sections titled “It Is Curable” and “Multiply and Replenish,” which recommended that young men should get married and father children as signs of overcoming their same sex desires. Shortly after this letter by the LDS 1st Presidency was released, the Salt Lake Tribune featured an article on the subject of homosexuality.  Tribune Reporter Clark Lobb printed a dialogue between a University of Utah sociology student simply called Mary X and Salt Lake Police Sergeant Max Yopse of the Vice Squad. Officer Yospe, was a Jewish convert to the LDS Church who later helped start the SLC police department's chaplain services. Nothing is known about the anonymous Mary X because fearing retribution for her progressive views on Gay rights, she chose to keep her anonymity although she was not Gay herself.   Mary X was a young college student while Officer Yospe was 44 years old at the time he expressed his views to the reporter. They were very typical of society in general at the time and for his generation. He stated “Over a period of years we’ve had a problem here which is growing. We have a lot of bisexual men who are apparently happily married, are staunch pillars in their community, have families, have respectable positions, and are active in civic and church affairs. Every couple of months they have this tremendous urge to get out and get involved in homosexual activity.  Over the years many of the homosexuals from the coast have moved in- the hippie movement- as we call it for example.” When the reporter asked the sergeant “What about women homosexuals?” he answered “Women homosexuals are a horse of another color. Most men homosexuals are sympathetic -that is they respond to sympathetic approaches and sometimes are seeking help. A Lesbian is something else. She’ll challenge anyone who suggests she’s a lesbian. She’ll fight to the bitter end that her relationships with other women are more meaningful and longer enduring then they are with the male.  We don’t think too much of seeing two women holding hands or showing other physical endearments to each other, so it’s almost acceptable thing to the public.  But its intolerable to many people, moralistically speaking, to see two men showing endearments, or tokens of affection to each other.  The female is more able to keep her activities under a blanket while the man can’t very well get away with it.” Then Officer Yospe expressed the predominate opinion that homosexual conduct needed to be illegal after Mary X had suggested that homosexuality should be decriminalized. “That would be lovely wouldn’t it? To have it abolished-as it has been in England- to have a homosexual couple move in next door to you- perhaps a married woman with a family- and begun to make their amorous approaches on the patio to have children look out of their windows and see this type of activity going continuously.  And as they grow up, they will think there is nothing wrong with it.  Two men can go out and make love to each other and have sex relations- abnormal in that they are nonproductive and have no Godly satisfaction. Later that year in August 1970 as Betty Friedan, President of the National Organization for Women had called for a women’s liberation strike,  Pam Mayne placed an ad in the Salt Lake Tribune to publicize the Gay Liberation Front . However the next day she received a phone call from the editor in charge of classified ads, who stated he wouldn’t run it. He told her he didn’t want what happened in San Francisco to happen in Salt Lake. Mayne was so angry that she went to the police department to find out what the laws regarding homosexuality were and she said she was told nothing.  They wouldn’t discuss the subject.  She explained “I wanted to know the laws as to what point we can be arrested. Is it okay to hold another female’s hand or dance with her?” By Spring 1971, The Gay Liberation Front grew to about thirty members and were emboldened to hold a series of panels on the University of Utah’s campus, usually in the Van Cott’s main lounge.  For the subject matter these panels were well attended by about forty people many however were there to express a negative opinion on whether Gay people had rights.  The Gay Liberation Movement sponsored several ambition projects in May 1971 including a proposed dance to be held in the Union Building and the formation of participation of “rap groups” to discuss issues of being Gay. They also proposed to participate in the March for Freedom, which occurred May 15. The event was an anti-Viet Nam War Peace March where  around 5,000 peaceful protestors of mostly young people marched down State Street and rallied at Pioneer Park. There, Country Joe McDonald,  of the protest musical group County Joe and the Fish, made a surprise appearance at the anti-war rally.  He led the crowd in the popular protest anthem “What are We Fighting For?” The marchers were not just hippies and students as that “Veterans against the War” led the march. They were joined by Mothers Against War, Kennecott Union Workers, Latinos then called “Chicanos”, “Blacks”, and a handful of Gay Liberationists who participated. Although small it was the 1st known openly Gay organization to participate openly in a demonstration.  The Gay Liberation Front’s openness was not embraced by many homosexuals who feared public exposure would bring down harsh retaliation by law enforcers. According to Pam Mayne a lot of the Gay community was afraid upon hearing that there was to be a Gay contingent marching in the peace march.   Mayne explained “They are afraid that they’d get in trouble and the one and only bar for men and the one and only bar for women would be closed down.” The bars she was referring to was a Lesbian Bar called Perkys and the Radio City Lounge both located in downtown Salt Lake City.  Another Gay Liberation Front member George Kelly said that he had received threatening phone calls from homosexual acquaintances regarding his participation. “I’m not going to be afraid of any threat. Even if it’s the bombing of my home.”, George said. The primary message of these Gay Liberation Front’s panels was less threatening as they simply promoted the “idea that homosexuals are a misunderstood and persecuted minority of society”.  When asked why they wanted the publicity of being openly Gay,  the panel usually responded, “that being open, with the idea of trying to change people’s attitudes for the better made them freer than what they had previously been.” “We’re getting to the point where we’re standing up to Salt Lake City and saying look at us we exist.  We’re peaceful, but if we have to, goddamn it, we’ll get radical. We’ll be here till the world ends. ” The Gay Liberation’s panelists generally consisted of spoke- persons, Ralph Place, Pam Mayne, Scott Rustin, George Kelly and Mary Health with a few others whose last names were hidden.  Three years earlier in 1968, Rev. Troy Perry founded the Metropolitan Community Church in Los Angeles which had an outreach to Gay people.  It grew after Stonewall to form congregations outside of California. In the spring of 1971 a few homosexual men and women met in a private home in Bountiful, Utah to establish a Christian Fellowship outreach based on the teachings of Rev. Perry. It is understandable that in Utah’s religious demography that a church would be one of the first nonpolitical organizations to be founded. By 1972 a congregation of the Salt Lake Metropolitan Community Church was established in Salt Lake City holding meetings at the Unitarian Church on 1300 East SLC and had hired a pastor. In January 1973 the Salt Lake MCC Congregation was officially chartered with Reverend Troy Perry coming to SLC to officiate.  However later in the year a rift between the Gay men and Lesbian congregants led to division when most of the women left to form the Grace Christian Church led by a lesbian named LaVerl Harris.  An article regarding the Metropolitan Community Church in the University of Utah’s Daily Chronicle newspaper quoted the leader of MCC at the time saying, "Women have virtually disappeared from the congregation.”  Grace Christian Church satisfied the spiritual needs of faith practicing lesbians until the end of the decade when many drifted away.  The remaining members of MCC continued on and the Metropolitan Community Church is a presence in Salt Lake City to this day and is the longest lasting Gay organization in Utah.  The Daily Chronicle’s lengthy article on the Metropolitan Community Church prompted a slew of negative letters to the editors of which this one was typical. “If homosexuals of Salt Lake City want to organize a religion, it certainly is their prerogative to do so but I am appalled that the Daily Utah Chronicle found that to be the most important news Tuesday that related to the University or its students.”  In February 1973 radio talk show host Joe Redburn opened the first bar in Utah owned by a Gay man, specifically for a homosexual clientele. He named his club The Sun Tavern which was located at 1 South 400 south on the northwest corner of South Temple.  The club was an immediate success and Redburn brought in pop performers of the 1970’s like Janet Gaynor and Sylvester so that within a few years Daily Chronicle reported “The Sun is probably the best place to get drunk and have a good time in the city. But sometimes they get too exclusive and the bar the door to any of the poor straights who can’t stand dancing next to jocks.”   Both Gay and non-Gay young people flocked to the Sun which soon was known throughout the Wasatch Front as a Gay Club. By October 1975 The Sun and Club Baths, a Gay man’s bathhouse, had partnered for financial benefits.  Advertized exclusively to Gay men, the two businesses promoted Tuesdays as a discount day.  “Tuesday night after the bar closes you can get into The Baths for only $3.00. You must present a card to the Baths that is available at the Sun every Tuesday night. So far it’s been a big success with the Sun Staff there in “full bloom”.  One can imagine what full bloom referenced. Club Baths actually came to Salt Lake City in December 1972 just a few months prior to Joe Redburn opening his dance club.  The Sun Tavern was more than a dance club. It was a de facto community center. Joe Redburn was an ardent progressive and he was instrumental in using the Sun to build a sense of community and for a safe place for Gay people to meet. In the summer of 1975, to celebrate the 5th anniversary of the Stonewall Riots, Joe Redburn sponsored a Beer Kegger party to celebrate the first Gay Freedom Day. The celebration was, however, held in a remote part of the valley at approximately 8000 West along the south-east shore of the Great Salt Lake.  People were still afraid to be publicly out at a Gay event although over 200 Gay folks gathered for the first public celebration of Gay Pride in Utah. Joe Redburn also helped establish the first Gay Community Center in 1975 by securing the Taylor Restaurant and Grill south of the Sun Tavern at 11 South and 400 West which he renamed the East Room. The stated purpose of “Gay Community Service Center” as it was called was to educate “the Gay individual and the general community.” “The Gay person will be aided in defining his /her sexual orientation toward a positive self-concept that will confront the negative ideas transferred by society, family, and church.  The general public will be educated by publications, the electronic media and a proposed Speakers Bureau that will be available to any interested groups. In this manner it is hoped to dispel the myths associated with the Gay life style and promote community relations unifying the Gay community by providing social alternatives in addition to the Gay bars and churches will be a further purpose of the center. The Gay Community Service Center opened its doors on 1 June 1975 with lovers Dorothy Makin and Billie Hayes Chair and vice chair of the center. The space contained a coke machine,  a mimeograph machine,  some couches and a reading room.  The coke machine was there to fund the Gay-Crisis Help line 533-0927 established by the center. The listing in the Salt Lake telephone directory was the first use of the word Gay in the White Pages, meaning homosexual.  The “Gay Line” as it was known was a 24 hour answering service staffed by trained volunteers to aid in crisis intervention, alcohol and drug related problems, emergency food and housing, employment, medical services, legal aid, and referrals.  The Gay Crisis Line was in operation for nearly 15 years before it was discontinued. The mimeograph machine was used to print Utah’s first publication for Gay folks. The Gay Community Service Center established a newsletter first published at the end of May to announce the first community sponsored Pride Day.  The publication was first known as the Gayzette and later the Salt Lick, with activist Babs deLay  being one of its first editor.  The ambitious Gay Community Service Center also sponsored the first community sponsored Pride Day then known as “Gay Freedom Day” to kick off its grand opening.  The Center acquired the permits to hold a beer kegger in City Creek Canyon at site number 10 at Rotary Park. “Festivities begin at noon with beer, food, and soft drinks provided. Included in the day’s activities will be volleyball, an all-day “do your own thing” talent revue and sing a-long, games for prizes, and a white elephant auction. Artists craftsmen and anyone wishing to may set up areas to display their wares for sale or show. A shuttle service will run to and from the site at 12:00, 2:00, and 4:00 for those who don’t have transportation. Pickup points will be Radio City, The Sun, and Perky’s.”    As that the event was better advertised “better than 400 people were in attendance”. On 16 October 1975 feminist Gloria Steinem editor of Ms Magazine, spoke at the University of Utah  before a crowd of 5,000. The event was sponsored by the Women Unlimited Conference who was concerned that the Mormon Church was organizing to stop the Equal Rights Amendment. One of the issues that the Mormon Church had with the ERA was over it opening the door for rights for homosexuals. Gloria Steinem said the Mormon Church had hindered the feminist movement in Utah “because most Utah women have grown up with limited ideas how to exist.” Included in Steinem’s speech was the mention of   the Gay Community Service Center offering a 24 hour help line, and that a new consciousness raising sessions for Gay women and men were soon to be initiated by a Lesbian counselor associated with the center. That was Babs De Lay who by the end of the year was holding weekly sessions at the Gay Community Service Center.  October 1975 was a very busy month for the burgeoning Gay community. Paul Larson, as part of the Campus Christian Center across from the University of Utah formed the Gay Consciousness Raising Group.  This group was also formed to permit Gays to meet with each other and to discuss their concerns away from the bars.  Paul Larson, a native Utahn and ex-Mormon, said on forming the group, “I feel I have weathered the worst possible social environment for Gays. I have nevertheless come out for my own values and the choices I made. Other Gays can come through the same obstacles to a greater sense of personal worth just as I have. Together we can continue and expand the foundations that we have laid together. But it will take energy and commitment.”  Within the year the Gay Consciousness Raising Group would become the Gay Student Union which continues today under the rebranding  name of the Queer Student Union. October 1975 was also the beginning of another long lasting group of Gay folks and their friends, who met to discuss the formation of a chapter of the Imperial court system to show case drag performers and to fundraise for the Gay Community.  The Imperial Court system was formed by Jose Sarria in 1965 to show case Drag and to raise money for charities.  Ten years later there were many court systems throughout the western United States.  There was enough enthusiasm for the idea of forming a court in Salt Lake City that by 1976 the Imperial Court of Utah was organized and received its charter from the Royal Court system of Denver.  Today it is it is known as the Royal Court of the Golden Spike Empire and is the oldest Gay charity fund-raising organization in Utah. With these new beginnings there was also an ending. In October of that year, the Lesbian bar Perky’s closed and with it the end of an era.  The owner was a lesbian who grew to adulthood prior to Stonewall.  In an interview she remarked “Five years of the bar business is enough for me. IT takes a lot of hours and time to run a bar. I grew up without having a Gay bar to go to. We had to go out you people’s homes to socialize. When I opened up the bar we had a fantastic group of girls that were all very grateful to me. We really had a good time, but there were two groups of girls; the ones who started out with me, and the younger girls that came out in the past few years. For the older girls it was harder being Gay.  We had to be cautious about ourselves. Originally we couldn’t dance in the bar, but after a few months the police let us alone. The younger kids have it a lot easier with the attitudes changing and the new bars.  They don’t have the hassles we used to have. I enjoyed both group of girls. They were in two different ball games.” One of the major distinctions between older Gays and the Stonewall generation as noted by the owner of Perkys was the absence of the stigma of mental illness.  Prior to the Gay Liberation Fronts efforts, homosexuality was listed as a pathology which excluded homosexuals from obtaining professional licenses.  In December 1973, after years of Gay Liberationist activists  disrupting,  of annual conferences the American Psychiatric Association dropped homosexuality as “a psychiatric disorder. ”  In 1974 the APA to advocate for laws to protect Gay people men from discrimination in employment, housing, transportation, and professional licensing. They also encouraged “the repeal of all legislation making criminal offenses of sexual acts performed by consenting adults in private.”  This would take thirty years before the Supreme Court would finally strike down state sodomy laws. In conclusion at the beginning of the Decade only a small handful of people constituted the first Gay Community organization which was based on the actions taken at the Stonewall Inn.  By the end of the Decade there was a vibrant community of grassroots Gay and Lesbian organizations, clubs, bars, bathhouses, health clinics and churches. The progress made by the early Gay pioneers however would bring about a fierce backlash is the latter half of the 1970’s but that is another story for another day. As I ever was or ever shall be… your friend Ben

10 October 2016 Monday

I had a bowl of oatmeal and an English muffin for breakfast before Stephen Bolinder came over about 10:30 to groom Buddy, Coco, and Harleigh. I had him trim TJ and Maxx’s nails also that were getting pretty long. I paid him $160 and made an appointment for the 2^nd Monday in January which is the 9^th, John Cunningham’s birthday. Since I didn’t have a chance to go to the gym this morning I went in the afternoon and walked a mile and a half with heart rate of 115. I did some abdominal crunches and  lower back stretches and was there for about an hour. It was a lovely fall day. About 70 degrees I suppose. Came home and fixed some dinner/supper about 3:30. I fixed two smothered chili verde burritos, a half cup of pinto beans, a chili relleno, and a side of lettuce, tomatoes, and black olives.  After eating it was about time to take Coco home and I fixed Mike a Tupperware full of rice, pinto beans, and chili rellenos smothered with chili verde. I also gave his a jar of chili verde.  Haven’t heard much more from people. Erik Meyers is returning to Brussels after a stay in SLC, Jay Vallar’s hurt his back and isn’t feeling well. Becky Moss posted that Bobbi Fouts died at the age of 54 in Florida. She was a Lesbian activist here in the 1980’s and a fixture at LGSU and KRCL. She didn’t know what she died of. I went to bed about 7:00 to catch up with my programs on Hulu, The Simpsons, Bob’s Burgers, and Modern Family. Of course all the FB chatter is about yesterday’s debates. As a former elementary teacher for 28 years I am just as upset with Trump's supporters who think that this bully should be in the executive office of the honorable United States of America as much as I am with his histrionic rhetoric. How dare they vote to put this ill-tempered irrational man in charge of America's nuclear arsenal! How dare they put the children of America in such precarious dangerous hands! If I seem a rabid anti-Republican it is that we are on a precipice. The world is knee deep in gasoline and Republicans want Trump to hold all the matches. Deplorable is a very kind word for what Trump's lying mentally defective supporters are... If you are a vile delusionary Christian Evangelists you see Donald as bringing on the Rapture... the future be damned. It is nothing short of criminal to vote for this charlatan huckster. This is much more than partisan politics. Melania Trump wore a $1000 blouse called a “Pussy Bow Blouse”. I see the delicious irony of wearing a pussy bow blouse but that at a $1000 the blouse is more than some of Trumps supporters make in a month... It's a mortgage payment for many... The ruling class is so grateful for America's peasants who think well someone has to be Queen.

11 October 2016 Tuesday

I attended a mandatory nutrition bariatric class up at the U of U this afternoon and I am really starting to know my way around that place. I don't know whether that is a good thing or not... I am really confused how drug prices are regulated. I have been taking Levemir insulin for at least 10 years daily and when I was employed with Davis School District my co pay was $40 for about 2 months’ worth. Last April when I went on Medicare and AARP supplemental insurance my co pay jumped to $150! Two months later it was down to $125. Two months after that it was $124 and when I went into to get a refill today it was $365 co-pay! I was prepared to pay $125 but not $365, more than twice as much! Is there an insulin shortage I am not aware of? How does one budget when the price changes every time you renew a prescription. Well I guess I will just try to get along with metformin until January when my surgery is scheduled, watch what I eat and exercise more. I wasn't sure what Gay meant in high school but I sure knew what being called Queer and sissy meant...in 1970 I told a boy I loved him...the shame was too much for him or I to bear but a dear friend kept me from killing myself by what I called Sand Castle therapy...he was not Gay did not understand why I was in so much pain over a boy but he recognized love and understood that I had loved John. Spending the summer at the beach with him letting me talk about feelings I had bottled up while building sand castles and watching the tide come and wash them away taught me nothing lasts forever but the love we hold in our hearts... I still wasn't quite ready at 19 to say I was Gay but acknowledged I had loved a boy. In college I met my first openly Gay kids and I was shocked they were so opened. In the fall of 1971 I timidly attended the first Gay Student Union at Cal State Fullerton...baby steps and the first person in my family that I told I was Gay was my Cousin Kay while family was back in Texas for my grandparents 50th Wedding anniversary...after that everything went downhill. I was kicked out of the dorm for being Gay after my dorm mate turned me in... Former friends shunned me... With no support in 1971 I retreated back into the closet until bursting out at 34 years old making up for lost time...it was not easy coming out during the middle of the AIDS crisis but better to die living an authentic life than living a lie...

12 October 2016 Wednesday

I went to the gym this morning and walked 2 miles. That’s kind of an improvement but now I am exhausted. Carol Gnade called and wanted me help her with a project celebrating 25 years of the Pride Center. She also told me some interesting gossip about the center. The deal to sell the building fell through the other day because the buyer and the center found out that Charlie Chow owns 10 feet into the building and all the utilities are in that 10 feet. I asked didn’t the Title Company search that before the building was bought? Crazy. I suggested she contact the Title Company that insured the property. Then I am going through my health insurance which I hate. I got another bill from the U of U for $300…I’m trapped in the Twilight Zone of bills and insurance. My AARP Medicare Complete through United Health Care has to be renewed this month. My username is Benedgar51 and password Gayflower@69. Sent Kyle a letter and hope it gets there before his birthday on Monday. I have another nutrition class at 10:45 on Wednesday the 19th

·         Dear Kyle, Just a short note to wish you a happy birthday. I put some money in your account for your birthday and to pay for your TV rental. You should see it before you get this letter but I am hoping you get this before your birthday on the 17th.Not much to report since my last letter to you. Stephen Bolinder came and groomed Buddy, Coco, and Harleigh. I had him trim TJ and Maxx’s nails also that were getting pretty long. I paid him $160. Still going to the gym and walking a mile and half. It’s been lovely fall so far about 70 degrees I suppose. I attended a mandatory nutrition bariatric class up at the U of U yesterday and I am really starting to know my way around that place. I don't know whether that is a good thing or not. I am really confused how drug prices are regulated. I have been taking Levemir insulin for at least 10 years daily and when I was employed with Davis School District my co pay was $40 for about 2 months’ worth. Last April when I went on Medicare and AARP supplemental insurance my co pay jumped to $150! Two months later it was down to $125. Two months after that it was $124 and when I went into to get a refill today it was $365 co-pay! I was prepared to pay $125 but not $365, more than twice as much! Is there an insulin shortage I am not aware of? How does one budget when the price changes every time you renew a prescription. Well I guess I will just try to get along with metformin until January when my surgery is scheduled, watch what I eat and exercise more. I am not going to pay $365 for the exact same thing I had always taken. This is why I believe in government regulation and price control. Why does an insurance company decide ones health needs? Maybe Hillary can get a one payer option passed and America will come into the 21st Century. All the FB chatter is about Sunday’s debate and Trump going ballistic on the Republican Party. He said not he can make America Great without being shackled by the Republicans. LOL. I am grateful to live long enough to see the devil collecting the soul of Republican Party after they sold it for money and power. As a former elementary teacher for 28 years I am just as upset with Trump's supporters as I am with Trump,  who think that this bully should be in the executive office of the United States of America.  How dare they vote to put this ill-tempered irrational man probably mentally unbalanced man in charge of America's nuclear arsenal! How dare they put the children of America in such precarious dangerous hands! They care more about unborn children than the living ones. The world is knee deep in gasoline and Republicans want Trump to hold all the matches? Melania Trump was said to have worn a $1000 blouse called a “Pussy Bow Blouse”. I see the delicious irony of wearing a “pussy” bow blouse to the debate; but at a $1000, that blouse is more than some of Trumps supporters make in a month... It's a mortgage payment for many. How insane must one be to think a billionaire who has never done an unselfish act would care about the poor and middle class who to him are “losers”. The ruling class is so grateful for America's “peasants” who think “well someone has to be Queen”.  I can just see Melania when told the people have no bread saying, “Then let them eat cake.” The Salt Lake Tribune came out today endorsing Hillary Clinton for President while last week the Deseret News called for Trump to step down without endorsing Clinton. State polls say the Clinton and Trump are both dead even in Utah at 28 percent each. That’s kind of remarkable. I guess the rest are waiting for direction from their Bishop whom to vote for. Evan McMillan an Independent is coming in at 22 percent in Utah. Then he’s also a Mormon born in Provo so there you go. Fortunately for America, Utah’s 6 electoral votes are irrelevant. Another “One Mighty and Strong” to "set in order the house of God" and arrange for the "inheritances of the Saints".  Do Mormons still believe the United States Constitution will one day "hang like a thread" and will be saved a Mormon who would turn the United States into a dominated by  Mormon Church? I saw a funny meme that wrote Abraham Lincoln: A house divided cannot stand…FDR: We have nothing to fear but fear it’s self…JFK: Ask not what your country can do for you…Obama: Yes We Can…Trump: Grab them by the Pussy. Monday 11 October was “National Coming Out Day”. I wasn't sure what Gay meant in high school but I sure knew what being called Queer and sissy meant...in 1970 I told a boy I loved him...the shame was too much for him or I to bear but a dear college friend named Ralph Ludders kept me from killing myself by what I called Sand Castle therapy...he was not Gay, did not understand why I was in so much pain over a boy, but he recognized love and understood that I had loved John Cunningham. Spending the summer at the beach, with him letting me talk about feelings I had bottled up while building sand castles and watching the tide come and wash them away, taught me nothing lasts forever but the love we hold in our hearts.  I still wasn't quite ready at 19 to say I was Gay but I acknowledged I had loved a boy. In college I met my first openly Gay kids in the drama department and I was shocked they were so opened about it but I was attracted to their freedom. In the fall of 1971 I timidly attended the first Gay Student Union at Cal State Fullerton...baby steps… and the first person in my family that I told I was Gay was my Cousin Kay while family was back in Texas for my grandparents 50th Wedding anniversary...after that everything went downhill. I was kicked out of the dorm for being Gay after my dorm mate turned me in... Former friends shunned me... With no support in 1971, I retreated back into the closet, joined the Mormon Church, married as I was told to do, and lived 15 years in misery until bursting out at 34 years old making up for lost time...it was not easy coming out during the middle of the AIDS crisis but better to die living an authentic life than living a lie. All my life I have worked to keep what I went through happening to other Gay kids. October 11th is also the day in 1996, that Michael Romero and I signed all the contracts to move into our new house. So I’ve lived here for 20 years now. We were the third people to move into our subdivision in Northpointe.  Nothing else was out here and you could see our house from 215.from I-215. We had two rescue dogs at the time old Oscar, a 9 year old Schnauzer we got from the pound and a puppy dachshund mix named Priscilla. I promised them a park and I planted 34 trees on my corner 1/4 acre lot. Now I am the last standing of all the early people in the subdivision after 20 years. I suspect I will be here another 10 years. The House of the Barking Dogs          Well hopefully this is the last birthday you will ever have incarcerated rather than being with people who love you.  As I ever was or ever shall be Your Friend Ben

13 October 2015 Thursday

Well I am sending in my ballot today...no surprised ... straight Democrat from top to bottom... I am not an Independent... I know how government works and the majority party gets all the leadership committees and becomes speaker of the house and Senate leader...they make policies. I want the Democrats in control so I never vote Republican...if they are that good of a person then switch parties...voting against Proposition C because Brian King is against it... Voted for SL bond to improve parks and recreation...I may never use them but it makes SLC a better place and it is my adopted home...lived in SLC for 31 years now one year longer than Brigham Young. Did I ever mentioned I made out with this guy near his grave after midnight. I hope he was rolling over in his grave as we were rolling on the ground. Well that was a long time ago. I love Salt Lake City the crossroads of the West. The world is a dangerous place and can you imagine a reality star with an unbalanced temperament in control of the largest military force in the history of the world? Especially when he has no international experience outside of a beauty pageant? And Bozo Johnson does not even know where Yemen is? Clinton is the only person qualified to be head of state

·         Jon Michael- Benjamin!!!! Having sex on the prophets grave!

·         Alan Anderson Ben. Such a rebel!

·         Tom Folks That made me laugh 😄

·         Kevin Scott I didn't know that about you.. please elaborate.

·         Me-I was living at the Buckingham Apartments on A street just below 1st Avenue... Brigham Youngs graveyard was not locked and gated back then....back in my Faerie days with a returned missionary Loki who had never been to BYs grave...his grave is enclosed but his wives were not...it if I remember right it was in the fall...did a lot of magick things back then...lol like blessing the hustlers on Broadway with my wand that they would be safe and potent and getting in a naked circle in the overgrown courtyard behind Broadway Shoes to do a cone of power ... It was a full moon...what can I say? A time for lunacy

14 October 2015 Friday

Baby sitting Corky and Bhanni this weekend after Kyle G. Daniels dropped them off at 7 am...They love being at Pappy Williams house...it's like a spa vacation... I finished working on the suicide murder of a 1894 farm couple who are my nephew Ken Jones’ ancestors. She sent her kids off to grandparents, sent the hired girl away for the weekend...after her husband went to bed she used chloroform to knock him out than shot him...she folded his arms and laid in bed with him until dawn...then she set the bedroom on fire laid back down in bed with her husband and shot herself... Who said genealogy is dull? I also made a kettle of ham and split pea soup and a Oreo pumpkin cheese cake for the weekend... Sure has been a blustery day ... Spooky

15 October 2015 Saturday

Well dinner and a movie night was a big disappointment. Only Andy Dalrymple showed up so a lot of work and some expense. I cleaned the house really well and made Lasagna, a salad, and summer squash for dinner as well as a Pumpkin Cheesecake. Well I caught up with Andy and he’s get some mental health help and he’s found two guys who are willing to let him couch surf to get away from Beauchaine.  He had never seen Phantom of the Paradise so I am glad I showed it to him. After the movie while eating some pie I saw a mice run across the top of the stove! So I pulled the toaster oven out and behind it was a mess of Mice droppings. So I cleaned that really good and wiped down counter tops but I know now there has to be a nest below the stove. Ugh! Kind of wondering whether I should even bother with movie nights since there is so little commitment to it anymore. Kyle Daniels said he would come over and never did, Kent Scadlock and Jesse Dolce had responded as maybe. I hate that because you never know how much food to have on hand.

16 October 2016 Sunday

Kyle Danies came over about 1 pm to retrieve Corky and Bhanni. I was still miffed at him for not coming over last night but oh well. I had him stay here to wait for Alan’s plan to come in as I followed Mike out to Day Break for Randy and Kimberlee’s, my old neighbors, housewarming. It’s a really nice spacious house for all of them. They bought it with their daughters so they are all on the title. Kim’s mom Gay is now up from Las Vegas living with too. It was good catching up with them but it chilly there with an autumn breeze so should have brought a jacket. It felt more like November than October. I brought one of my pumpkin cheesecake down there but didn’t stay for dessert. My stomach was having issues and I needed to get home and feed the pups. I guess Alan got home okay...I left Kyle G. Daniels at the house to wait for his plane while I headed down and when I came home Kyle and Corky and Bhanni were gone with the lasagna, squash, and cheese cake I sent home with him. I figured Alan would be hungry. I stripped the bed and remade it with clean sheets and covers. Had a bowl of split pea soup and crusty bread for supper before snuggling in with the pups for the night. Discovered a cute BBC program called Plebes that take place in 23 BC Rome. It’s a comedy and quite funny.

17 October 2016 Monday

Today is Kyle’s 37^th birthday. It was pouring rain when Michael brought Coco over this morning and it must have rained all night although it cleared up by the time I had to go to my doctor’s appointment at 8:40. As usual is actually got to see him about 9:40. Sitting waiting to see my doctor for my appointment on this rainy day. My co pay was $5 so not complaining but last time it was $25... there's no rhyme nor reason anymore... I have to see the clinical pharmacist on October 24 at 2:00 and then I have to see Dr. Stoneburner again in November 28^th Monday at 9:00. While at the doctors I got my flu shot. My A1C was 9.1 when August 3 it was 10.0. My weight was 246 lbs. down from 250. I have a new blood pressure medicine to take as well as Lisinopril called Amlodipine BESYLATE as well as NOVOLIN an insulin to replace the Levemir. It only cost $50 instead of $365! After leaving the doctors I went to go buy more mice poison. I wish there was a poison for the flies. They are driving me bonkers.  I made a big kettle of Cauliflower Cheese soup as so as I got home…lots of diced potatoes, chopped cauliflower, diced onions, diced red and yellow peppers…made it with the broth I had been saving from all the chicken thighs I have been cooking for the dogs. Then made a butter and flour rue a can of evaporated milk, and two cups of grated cheese. It was yummy for dinner. I haven’t heard from Bill Poore in a while so invited him over for some soup but he didn’t make it. I the news Sen John McCain said he’d block any of Hillary’s nominations to the Supreme Court and Donald Trump is calling for an insurrection if he doesn’t win. Even in the 1960’s I have not seen Americans so divided.

18 October 2016 Tuesday

Orson Spencer Hall at the U of U was torn down today. It was where the Lesbian and Gay Student Union met for most of the 1980s and 1990s. Lots and lots of memories there especially in the cruisy men rooms.

19 October Wednesday

Kyle Foote called me this evening from prison and we talked for about 10 minutes. He had a nice birthday and did get my letter on his birthday. I need to write a letter for him that he can use when he goes before the parole board.  I like this quote by James Baldwin, “We can disagree and still love each other unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression and denial of my humanity and right to exist.” This is why if you voted for Trump don't expect me to just accept it as a simple disagreement when the election is over... There are still politician like Orrin Hatch who are telling kids that Trump has the dignity, character, and moral fiber to be President of our country... In the real world Donald Trump couldn't even pass a moral turpitude test to be a school teacher...would you want Trump teaching your kids? If not how can you vote for him as President? Voting for Republican is akin to treason in my book...they hold nominees for Supreme Court hostage...They shut the government down on a whim...they refuse to compromise... they are climate change deniers ... More than anything they are just plain mean people

20 October Thursday

First time Black voters under 30 have to vote for two white candidates lol Worked the entire day on a project for Carol Gnade and I am getting annoyed because its keeping me from my own projects.

21 October 2016 Friday

I finally finished the project that Carol Gnade wanted me to do for the Pride Center. It’s my last job for them. I binged watched BBC series called Plebs. Each episode is only about 23 minutes long w/o commercials and there was 3 seasons of about 8 episodes. Two young men moved to Rome 23 BC for love and adventure. One brings with him a slave who is hilarious. Loved it. Denise posted a meme with all these stores that were part of my childhood in Orange County. Alpha Beta was our family store in the Stanton Plaza at Beach Blvd and Orangewood.  Thrifty’s was at the Orange County Plaza on Chapman between Gilbert and Brookhurst where we got our nickel ice cream scoops. Zody's was across the street where I'd buy my 45 records. Newberry was east of Zody’s on Brookhurst next to Savon’s. I went there because they had a better comic book section and carried Mad Magazine. A fast food place called Pup N Taco was on Katella and Magnolia and you could buy hot dogs and Tacos for 25 cents each. Mustard Dogs were great.  All gone now. The Republican Party became the party of Christian moralists and Southern prejudices... They embraced regional values and taunted them as American values. I can respect those fiscal conservatives who believe in smaller government but lost that respect when they became the party of a racist, misogynist, homophobic America. Former Chief Justice David Souter said The lack of civic knowledge is what is harming this country...Ignorance ... we don't elect a "strong man" to solve issues... we elect people that we demand they do their duty by us.

22 October 2016 Saturday

It was beautiful autumn day to do some yard work...trimmed some bushes, cleaned up my herbal garden, mowed the front yard, and hoed some weeds. I have loads of tomatoes still mostly green. I am keeping an eye out for a freeze. As long as it's nice at night I will keep them on the vine otherwise I will pick them and ripen them on the window sill. I was pooped and  was in bed when Greg Allen and Jay Vallar texted and wanted to drop by to show off their Halloween Costumes. They both dressed up as Faeries with wings. I guess a party they were going  was cancelled and they wanted someone to see them all dressed up. That was kind of sad. I watched a strange new show on BBC America called Dirk Gently Holistic Detective Agency. Strange but I like it. Today is my niece Denise’ 45^th birthday. I was living in the dorms at Cal State Fullerton and brought James to the dorms to babysit.

23 October 2016 Sunday

Had Bill Poore over for Sunday dinner to catch up on life. I hadn’t heard from him for a while and he’s been reclusive. So I fixed twice baked potatoes, asparagus veggie medley with cauliflower, yellow squash, red peppers, mushrooms and red onions, and BBQ ribs from Costco and served with Baci rolls from Granados. Really not a whole lot new. I sent Bill home with a doggy bag since he brought over doggy treats.  Did notice that Charles Frost posted in Gay Men Aloud that the November meeting will be on reorganizing. I bet Charles wants to disband it as I knew he had no idea how to keep a social group going. You got to like people and Charles is an actor. I watched the Blob before going to bed last night. The old 1958 one with Steve McQueen. Still fun to watch.

24 October 2016 Monday

I Went to the gym and  walked a mile around the track 15 laps. First time I did that so I didn’t do the treadmill. I worked the abdominal machine and lower back machine. It been drizzling all day gloomy morning so I made some beef and barley soup...not quite ready for chili although I ground up a roast and seasoned it to be chili ready. This new cheap insulin seems to be working so yay. My blood sugars was 110 this morning and 114 yesterday.  In the afternoon I had to meet with the Clinical Pharmacists to go over my blood sugar numbers. Since I've voted, I am done posting that Donald Trump is a narcissistic, amoral, pandering misogynist opportunist who has ties to Vladimir Putin on Facebook... If people are still undecided they are either A... Don't care B. Ignorant C a Mormon D. All of the above... A couple of notable people died. Pete Burns of Dead or Alive now dead at 57 of massive heart attack. RIP it was the 1980s and that song was It was a theme song for me in 1986 about my love for Billy Bikowski.  Thanks for the music. Tom Hayden the 1960’s radical activist also died at the age of 76.

·         Doug Murri While I had always admired his activism, I had him as a passenger on one of my flights from Sacramento to Los Angeles a number of years ago. To keep it simple, I'll just say that he was an arrogant a$$h@le of a passenger. I was truly disappointed in the ugly prick.

28 October 2016 Friday

I fixed breakfast of two scrambled eggs, 1 and ½ piece of bacon and two slices of toasted Italian bread then worked a little of Ken Jones’ ancestors before heading out. I had a message on my email from 1^st America that my checking account had fallen below $200 so I went up to the credit union in Bountiful to see what was the deal. My checking accounting said I had $1893.21 and my savings had $14,034.04. The teller checked it and didn’t know why I got that notice. Weird. As weird as my minipad not picking up a Wi-Fi signal while my desk top does…ugh.

29 October 2016 Saturday

31 October 2016 Monday

My right hip down my leg is excruciatingly painful. My sciatica flared up again I suppose from doing way too much Saturday at the gym. I took a pain pill that I had left over from a while back and then some Tylenol Extra strength. I sat all day at the computer and that seemed to help all day with the pain. It’s enough to make me cry so obviously I didn’t go to the gym today nor will I until this gets better. Almost done with my nephew Ken Jones’ ancestor Silas Jones. It ended up being 57 pages long. Worked on it for a whole month so glad to be moving on to the next person. I called the Board of Pardon’s number to find out what is going on with Kyle. I was told that they scheduled a parole hearing for him for December 15^th. That gave me pause to think about how my life will change again when he moves back home. I received a letter in the mail from America First CU saying I had two overdrafts which shocked me since Friday I was told I had $1900 in my checking account so I hurried to Bountiful to find out what was wrong. Evidently my state check was deposited on Friday but not before I was down to $6 and two checks had come in. The gal was nice and took off the $50 in overdrafts  I was charged. Well today is Halloween and pretty anti-climactic. I only had about 5 people ring my doorbell but I had turned off the lights and was in bed with the pups.

NOVEMBER

1 November 2016 Tuesday

The Government National Guard and local sheriff are brutally attacking the people on the Standing Rock Reservation and no one seems to care.  Hillary vowed to end Conversion Therapy at a rally in Florida unlike Pence who wants to shock the Gay away.

2 November 2016 Wednesday

My leg hurts so bad when I first get up I can hardly stand it but after a while, especially sitting all day working on the computer it does feel better if not entirely subsiding.  I posted Ken’s ancestry I have been working on to a FB site I created for his genealogy and in the afternoon wrote up my talk for tonight’s lecture. When I got there Courtney Moser was already waiting and we visited some before others arrived. He asked how I was doing and I said well I am not as bad a shape as you, but bad enough. He laughed. It was a pretty good turnout. Let’s see…there was Charles Bigo, Richard Harmston,  David Andreassen, Greg and Jay, Tom Folks, Chuck Whyte, Chad Anderson, Alan Anderson, TJ Otaka and Jim McMullin. I gave a talk on the Pink Scare of the early 1950s and I think there was a lot of interest in the topic. I will finish off the 1950’s in December and I’ve asked Chad Anderson to share in January. I had to rush off after the meeting to head up to the Sleep Wake Clinic up at the University to be there at 9 pm. There I was wired up for the night to monitor me for sleep apnea. An angry White man killed two police officers because he was upset that his Confederate Flag was stolen...I wonder who he was going to vote for before his ass was arrested. Who are the terrorists in this country? Disgruntled White men with too much access to guns and hate talk radio

3 November 2016 Thursday

Sleep study was nothing after sleeping with three dogs every night. I had no problem sleeping and the staff was very professional and kind. It was a 100 percent improvement over the one I did 17 years ago at St. Marks.  I slept right through the night dreamed that Abraham Lincoln was playing the piano at this reception for all my Gay friends...honestly have no idea where that came from LOL. Woke up at 6 pm they unwired me and I was home by 6:30 even after stopping by Deli Donuts to buy me an Apple Fritter as a treat. The Sleep Clinic was high enough up on the east bench that when I came out there was frost all over my Cruiser. Had to scrape my windshield to see. So glad I have a garage to park my vehicle in.

4 November 2016 Friday

Fake Christians supporting the most Anti-Christ like candidate ever because they hate powerful women and gay people.... Hate based on fear of being emasculated and losing power and privilege. Anyone paying attention should have been worried when Trump insisted the GOP platform be changed so as not to defend the Ukraine and his wanting to pull the US out of NATO and saying American Generals are incompetent... a vote for Trump is a vote for Treason and WWIII ... Thanks asshole Hatch for putting party before country... Republicans are so screwed up the only thing they hate more than Democrats is each other... My sciatica is just painful but I am taking extra strength Tylenol and that does seem to help.

5 November 2016 Saturday

Went to Charlie Chow for lunch with Bill Poore. I had cashew chicken which I hadn't had in a long time...Bill was paying so I added an egg roll lol...then we drove down to skid row behind the Rio Grande... There was a flea market going right in the midst of transients that I would have like to stop but thought I'd catch fleas at the minimum... Bill saw someone smoking meth ... That's not even on my radar... Then I took him to the International Peace Garden where we got out and walked some. I wanted to show him the Matterhorn....he had never been there before...it was a lovely day just to be out and sightseeing in quirky and queer Salt Lake City. Hundreds of women are putting I voted stickers on Susan B Anthony’s tombstone in anticipation of our first woman president. Going to foster a Pomeranian mix for Hearts 4 Paws... I will pick him up tomorrow... not ready to adopt yet I think I can foster and find him a good home like I did Wiley, Farley’s brother ... I am not much of a sports fan but I am thrilled for Cub fans. The Chicago Cubs won the World Series for the first time for over 100 years. Even the Kremlin realizes that Donald Trump is an unstable individual but the GOP will put this nation in jeopardy for power and greed..... A vote for Trump is TREASON... This megalomaniac must never be commander in chief....George W Bush is a genius compared to Trump who thinks he's the genius ....God Save America. Interestingly enough, despite the Russian president’s support of Donald Trump, at one point, support for the Republican nominee was halted due to his volatile and unstable nature. According to intelligence sources, the Kremlin backed off supporting Trump when he attacked the Kahn Gold Star family.

·         Richard P. Butler In a few weeks I want to go to Charlie Chow's again.

·         Bill Poore I didn't really see someone smoking meth, I saw a woman snorting a couple of lines of whatever, then guys passing around a joint. I am just shocked how many homeless people there are down there. It is like a city. I blame everyone, the churches, State and local governments and the homeless...it is a mess. Jackie said she was going to clean it up, it looks worse to me. It is always an adventure going for a ride with Ben....

·         Amy Barry It is actually better than when the Mayor started Operation Diversion. It was a shantytown rivaling those in South Africa. Since I work in the Depot building I see way too much now. It is uncommon to not see needles all over the ground from shooting up... I don't know who to blame, but we really have problems. It breaks my heart every day to see the school bus down the road picking up or dropping off children from school.

·         Roland Ron Holmgren The problem of the homeless isn't just confined to Pioneer Park, have you been to library square lately or downtown or even in the suburbs. We have a problem.

6 November 2016 Sunday

Sunday dinner with Bill Poore... Salad, deviled eggs, grilled steak, twice baked potato, candied carrots and grilled toast... Such a beautiful day out... Still seems later than it is since we turned the clocks back an hour. Had Bill look at TJ...neither one of us have good enough eyes to take a good look without touching him... But he's eating now which he wouldn't last night and this morning.... Bill and I shared our steak with him.... Hopefully he's getting better... I never had a little dog before so trying to be extra careful... But now it's nap time for the Faerie gather I hosted in the evening. Greg Allen Jay Vallar and Jon Michael came over to celebrate Samhain.  I still had deviled eggs left over and some banana bread. I really enjoy these little gatherings.

·         Richard P. Butler We're doing a ham, scalloped taters & creamed corn with rolls for dinner. But damn Ben, yours looks amazing.

·         Roland Ron Holmgren Yum. The thing that is so appealing about what you fix it such great comfort food. As for TJ, I think Chennie was bite by something or else ate something she shouldn't have eaten. She was very listless, wouldn't eat, and the day before I was going to make an appointment at the vet's office, she went out and ate so much grass, I swear she was like a cow. Snap her right out of what was bothering her. Hope he gets better soon.

·          Bill Poore I am not sure it was a spider that bit TJ, there was a big black mark on his fur and swelling. He seems better and did eat some of my steak. He is such a tiny thing, Ben you should check your bed, TJ sleeps under the covers.

7 November 20216 Monday

Checked my blood sugar this morning 38 ... Can one say hypoglycemia? I am like a yo yo ... I guess I will have buttermilk pancakes this morning ... TJ is back to being feisty and chewing on my fingers in the morning... My friend Jon Michael called his vet and she suggested Benadryl... The lady who was I was supposed to pick up my foster dog from didn't call yesterday but I was told she will today...so here's hoping...Jon wants to go with me to meet him... My sciatica is better so maybe I might try walking at the gym this morning...it's nice to see sunlight at 7 am again... I gave tomatoes away yesterday to Jon so weird to be still getting Tomatoes in November...still no freeze... For Utah it isn't even Indian Summer yet...I went with Jon about 4 pm to Pet Co in West Valley to meet the woman who was handing off the pup to me so I am fostering a little half Pomeranian and schnauzer pup... His little ears stick out like a Papillion ... He's only 9 months old, taken from a house with 10 dogs and he needs reassurance and affection so I will snuggle with him this evening....he must have been hungry because he snarfed down the boiled chicken and the broth I made for supper...his name is Mufi and that's got to go...Jon Michael  and I tried coming up with new names for him Percy, Scrappy, Scruffy but I think I will call him Marley as a tribute to Farley and it has the Mmmmm sound...Everyone is fine with him but TJ who us jealous and snarls a lot... Well he's a very sweet natured dog just timid...he needs a haircut and neutered before he can go up for adoption...Maxx has already been wanting him play. I have always been a Democrat because I believe in feeding a man while he is learning to fish not just teach him to fish but then make him buy the fishing pole and bait from you and take half of everything he catches so you don't have to work which is the Republican way... Democrats will always make sure people don't go hungry while Republicans are more concern with their ledgers. I was a political science minor and history major in college and even during the Nixon years, the Reagan years, and the Bush years, While I was vehemently against their ideology, I never thought they'd put the nation in harm’s way... This is the first election where I truly believe treason is at stake...and our standing in the world will be severely compromised... The religious radical right are traitors who believe in a fascist theocracy instead of a democracy and they conspire with billionaire corporations who put profits before patriotism... Former Attorney General Janet Reno died.

8 November 2016 Tuesday

Had to go to the U for my last Bariatric nutrition class at 11:30... I thought it would have taken an hour but it was only a half hour so took Chuck Whyte out for lunch and for him to run a few errands...We went to Off Traxx to eat a Michael Aaron BBQ sandwich...so tasty... Marley is such a sweet guy but TJ is being a punk...must be jealous he growls and snaps at him so I put TJ in time out... Marley is a sweet passive little guy. I couldn’t stand watching the election returns. So I went to bed ... Can't believe Trump is doing as well as he is... Seriously ...

9 November 2016 Wednesday

I woke up a fear in the pit of my stock about 2:30 am. I checked Facebook and when I started reading people’s posts of despair I was sick. Heartbroken and ashamed ... Fascism came to America with a cross wrapped in a flag... America put a sociopath in the White House supported by the KKK and Neo Nazis who will go on trial for rape and fraud within weeks... Enough said. I am 9/11 stunned. After 150 years the Confederacy finally won ... America was brought down by the Republican Party... Might as well hoist the Confederate flag over the White House. We survived Nixon, we survived Reagan, we survived Bush...we will survive Trump But will we survive a Trump appointed Supreme Court? The Affordable Care Act gone, the Climate Accords gone, Marriage Equality gone, The Voting Act gone, Gun control gone, Citizen United stays, Religious Liberty stays, ... Republicans have all the power now... Will they make your life better? Fasten your safety belt we are in for a bumpy ride Allow us time to grieve this betrayal of America's E Pluribus Unum by the In God We Trust crowd... But don't despair... These people are dying ...Trump is 70 ... This is the last gasp of those about to go extinct...maybe this will be a wakeup call to young people that civics matters... Yes the KKK won, misogynists won, homophobes won, and antigovernment theocrats won... But I refuse to believe they represent America.... But it's disappointing that Melania Trump will occupy the same position as Michelle Obama, Hillary Clinton, and Eleanor Roosevelt... I will grieve but I won't roll over... Well played Vladimir you put your guy in the White House who won't oppose your territorial ambitions ... I am an American ...I believe in Democracy ... Sometimes it fails but I believe it will right itself... The Republicans have two years to prove they can make America better rather than thrive on fear and hate...It hurt my heart to read Hillary’s concession speech ... But proud to have supported Hillary and defended her against all the hate and lies thrown against her... I have lost many, many elections but this one hurts the most...Went to dinner with Alan Anderson and Kyle G. Daniels at Chubby’s... Felt like a wake... Like someone we loved died... I slept a lot this afternoon... Depressed, I guessed this is Black Wednesday ... I feel like I woke up in the Twilight Zone. Pease don't insult me by saying this 70 year old man is going to change once President... He's the one who said he'd put Hillary in jail. More Americans voted for Hillary Clinton than they did for Donald Trump...that gives me hope for the future... There was no mandate for Trump .... We lost because of the Electoral College not because of the Progressive Message... Same thing happened in 2000... Gore won the vote but Bush won the electoral college... And that turned out so well didn't it...

·         Bill Poore I have gone beyond the depression and sadness, in total acceptance mold. Think of all we will be able to fight and bitch about....it is a new chapter in American History. I think it will be fun to help write it...The Trump Chapter.

·         Seth Anderson I can’t stop crying

·         Bill Poore Michael was the crier in your marriage, let him cry, you fight. Hillary will now retire to her home and rest for a while, then make millions giving speeches.....To tell you the truth I think she needs a rest. I love her with all my heart and it broke seeing her lose, but she is a trooper, it is not over for her. She won’t run again but she will become an elder statesman.

·         Edgar Ben Williams It's like half of America cheated on us...cheated on our vows to hold as self-evident that all are created equal

·         Poore They could say the same thing about you..

·         Edgar Ben Williams They could but it would be a lie...I have never voted to take away people's rights or to keep them unequal...

10 November 2016 Thursday

I took Marley to Paw by Paw in Sugarhouse for his grooming appointment...he looks adorable but won't settle down enough for a good picture yet. I am sorry but this child rapist, pussy grabbing, man whore, swindler, your fired egotistical billionaire fraudulent Putin supporting anti Mexican, Muslim, Gays and Trans hater he will NEVER be my president...he may befoul the Oval Office for 4 years but he will never be Presidential... The Republicans have foisted a Nero on our Republic...He will fiddle while Rome burns... He is not qualified to shine Obama's shoes let alone occupy his chair... Watch his cabinet get filled with lunatics, climate deniers, theocrats, and anti-social net charlatans... Think Dick Cheney to the Nth degree... If we do get into a nuclear conflict I will laugh at the idiots and damn them at the same time...I find it amazing that Billy Bush can be fired for associating with Donald Trump while half of Americans voted for Trump to be President of these United States. "We can’t suddenly forget or forgive what Trump said during the campaign. In Trump we suddenly face a president-elect who has been wallowing in the cesspool of hate and extremism." Sorry I not ready to move on...

Comments.

·         Bill Poore who you should be upset with are those that didn't show up and vote....young people, blacks, and women.....all across the line....they gave you Trump.

·         Michael Aaron West And some of us

·         Bill Poore Michael Aaron West you are rite.

·         Steve Brackenbury “When someone shows you who they are believe them; the first time." ― Maya Angelou

·         Michael Aaron West Nor am I...Ben...can you give me a call this week...I need an ear

·         Roland Ron Holmgren I block three of my family members. Basically, it was he is our president, accept him. They are rabid far right Republicans. I don't accept him, and indeed. I moved on ...without them.

·          Edgar Ben Williams I deleted six relatives...if they could vote for Trump regardless of the harm he intends to inflict on me and those I love... They are no family to me...

·          Michael Aaron West Hey guys....Please Please SHARE this!!! And join the MARCH on Washington against trump on inauguration day!

11 November 2016 Friday

Just got in from seeing a Plan B Theater play called One Big Union. Jim Dabakis asked me to join him and so glad he did. They play was about the trial of Joe Hill and the IWW... The acting was terrific and they sang the songs that Joe Hill had written...The cast was outstanding but Roger Dunbar who played Joe Hill was mesmerizing. We just happened to be sitting behind Historian Will Bagley and I presume his wife and we chatted about the play afterwards. Will Bagley attended the 75th Anniversary of Joe Hill's execution at the old Sugar House Prison at Sugar House Park like I did...great evening and before the play Jim and I had coffee at Nostalgia where we comforted our Democratic souls. Andy Borowitz said,  “Harry Reid called Trump "a sexual predator who lost the popular vote." This statement requires no fact-checking.” I refuse to refer to Donald Trump as President of the United States...he will always be President Pussy Grabber to me...whenever I see him or hear him I think whose pussy does he want to grab? Well president Elect Pussy Grabber has made Vice elect Mike Pence head of his transition team...I guess that's so when the Trumpette gets impeach or resigns Pontus Pence will have his team of theocrats in place to declare the United States a Christian Nation under Biblical law... But seriously Trump has given running his business over to his kids who are also on his transition team... Inside trading anyone? Am I the only one who sees a yuge conflict of interest? It's Bigly... There a big protest rally and march in Salt Lake City today. There's a reason people are protesting...it's not because they are sore losers it's because they are scared. The California State Legislature made this statement about a Donald Trump Presidency "While Donald Trump may have won the presidency, he hasn’t changed our values. America is greater than any one man or party. We will not be dragged back into the past. We will lead the resistance to any effort that would shred our social fabric or our Constitution. California was not a part of this nation when its history began, but we are clearly now the keeper of its future."

I wonder if it’s time to move back to California. Paul Ryan wants to repeal Medicare as well as the affordable care act.

12 November 2016 Saturday

I took the pup I call Marley down to Ma and Paw’s Bakery where Laurie Epperson had set up an adoption site. Lots of sweet babies needing homes... I met Derrick and Dan who were there to adopt Marley and I told them that I recommended that Laurie let them adopt him. Derrick was so excited and as I passed the pup over to him the pup fell into his arms and wanted to be held by him the entire time. I was thrilled. Dan and Derrick adopted my foster pup ... Look how he's melted into Derricks arms... I have him until Tuesday to take him down to neutered and then off to his forever home... Lucky guy...thanks Jon Michael for going with me to pick him up last Monday... Marley's new daddies ...Derrick who is holding him Marley just immediately bonded with him... You can tell he's excited about their new fur baby. So it was a sweet day and a sad day...Sweet to that found Marley two daddies to adopt him at the Hearts 4 Paws event adoption event...Marley immediately bonded with one of the guys and he could not put him down ... Marley just wanted to be held by him and nuzzled into him... I will deliver him to them after I take him down to be neutered Tuesday morning...I also have to take Chuck Whyte up to Bountiful that morning but not to be neutered...one of husbands adopting him was hired as director of diversity at Westminster so he will have a good loving home...they were already buying things for their new baby... So it was a successful adoption like my little boy schnauzer last spring ...but I am a little sad to see the cutie leave but he's a pup and has fallen into a bowl of cherries. This was posted yesterday on my neighborhood watch site... This is my neighborhood... Deplorables  Safety concerns for my Latino/a neighbors in Rose Park Amber Whiteley from Rose Park · Ever since the election there have been reports of white men driving around my neighborhood in a white pickup truck yelling "trump is president, build the wall". This is obviously targeted towards the amount of Hispanic and Latino/a families that live here. This is also a violent, threatening act and I won't stand for it happening in my neighborhood.  I wanted to make other neighbors aware that this is happening so we can report this to the police when we see this happening.  Description of vehicle involved – Color: White, Type: Pickup Truck.” So Hillary Clinton wasn't warm and fuzzy enough for you, your called her a crook when she has never been convicted or even been brought to trial for anything. But she wasn't likeable enough for you. Well I guess you also don't like clean air and water, since the Trump Administration wants to end the EPA. I guess you don't like science as Climate change deniers and the fossil fuel capitalists are put in policy making positions. I guess you didn't like an increase in the minimum wage, college tuition reform, you also didn't like Medicare and the affordable care act. You must really hate Social Security and believe you can make enough to put it in the stock market and hope it doesn't crash when you are ready to retire. You must not care whether Citizen United is ever repealed or whether Marriage Equality is left to the states. Yes I guess Hillary didn't wow you enough and you felt a Billionaire con man would keep his promise to "make America great again" whatever that means. This is the America you wanted evidently. Bend over and lube up because you are about to be screwed big time. Please don't insult me and say as a Gay man I must get behind the Trump Administration for the good of the country. Certainly it won’t be good for me and my folk. Pence is already gathering policy makers who wants to end marriage equality, destroy the families of people I love, and roll back my rights to live in America without fear of being harassed or harmed. When Trump appoints another Scalia to the Supreme Court, an anti-Gay controlled Congress and an anti-Gay Executive Branch can and will wreak havoc on all the progress we have made in the last 30 years. I understand why people are protesting an administration that has vowed to harm minorities in order to make America great again. My ancestors were on the wrong side of history being Confederates and they paid a price for it. I refuse to dishonor them by being on the wrong side again. I know pictures of people burning the flag is emotionally upsetting to some but the majority of the Supreme Court, according to Justice William Brennan, held that flag burning constitutes a form of "symbolic speech" that is protected by the First Amendment. If we have to live with Donald Trump as President who will do great harm to this nation we can live with flag burning which does no harm to anyone. Facts and Case Summary - Texas v. Johnson | United States Courts. Donald Trumps' electoral college debacle is the greatest tragedy to this America since 9/11... Half the country is angry and in mourning the other half is too stupid to know what happened. This is what you voted against for the rich white trash moving into the White House if Donald even decides to leave the gilded Trump Towers. I am glad I am not a mighty oak but am a willow...I will withstand this storm because I am a willow and I can bend...I will be here after the mighty oaks have fallen... We will be here when the sun comes out again...

13 November 2016 Sunday

Had a wonderful dinner and lively conversation at Jim McMullin and T.J. Otaka's beautiful home in Daybreak. They invited Kent McKay Scadlock, Greg Allen, and Joel Jay Vallar and I out for a home cooked Asian dinner. So delicious .... I made banana bread this morning so I brought them a loaf to freeze for later. He fixed teriyaki chicken, dip sum, a vegetable   dish and white rice. Kent was a little cool to me. Maybe just my imagination. He’s been posting all these events he has been going to and out with Rocky O’Donovan so I guess they are pals again. After he left heard from Jim that the last GMA meeting seemed dismal and it was like they had run out of ideas. He is pretty sure Charles is quitting and asked if I’d return if Charles was gone. I said I would consider it but Kent would have to ask me.  I had to leave at 5 pm only to get home to feed the pups... Beautiful moon out tonight... What ever happens with Trump at least I have my Gay Tribe here in SLC. My Facebook page is lit up with people sharing attacks by emboldened Alt Right fascists. It is sickening. And with Donald Trump appointing Steve Bannon into his policy making inner circle it will on get worse. I thought George W Bush’s Neocons were evil. I either post doggy pictures on Facebook or bust a vein knowing the Klu Klux Klans candidate is going to sit in the Oval Office and run the country as a reality show.

·         T.J. Otaka Ben, Thank you for coming to join us out here. We were glad to be able to spend a wonderful afternoon with our great friends in SLC. Thank you also for the delicious banana bread.

14 November 2016 Monday

I ended up staying inside all day rather than doing some yard work like I intended. I worked on Donald A. Jones all day who was my brother in laws grandfather. I am not doing this for that jerk but rather for Donna’s kids and grandkids. The only time I went out was to go to Caputo and buy some Italian Loaf bread. They were all out of day old so I bought a fresh loaf which will be day old tomorrow. I contacted Derrick Maylone after hearing back from Laurie Epperson that the pup’s neutering appointment is Thursday not tomorrow. I told him that I would bring him to him after I am done taking Chuck Whyte to his appointment in Bountiful. Chuck wanted me take him to Walmart also and I said no way. I was not going to tie up my entire day when I got too much to do. Learning to say no a lot to Chuck. Anyway I know that Derrick is just chomping at the bits to have the pup which I think they are naming Murphy, a good name, and they did pay for him already. Derrick said he’s met me at the vet with him on Thursday. I need to release the pup before he gets to attached here and me to him. Today was the first time he jumped in the cruiser to go with the rest of the gang when I took Coco home.  Super Moon tonight…first time in 68 years its been this close to earth. Bella Luna ...pictures do not do it Justice...take a moment to look at its majesty and know it shines for People of Color, Muslims, Jews, Buddhists, Hindi, pagans, atheists, Gays, Trans, straight males and females, not just for white people and Christians... so shines the Blessings of the Constitution on all Americans...not just the few. My house is a totally wreck. I haven’t cleaned or mopped since fostering the pup. Any one besides me find it alarming that Steve Bannon of Breitbart who has for years given voice to anti-Semitic, racist and white nationalist ideology is now Trumps top administration strategist? He promotes the fascist Alt Right movement that opposes immigration, multiculturalism and political correctness. While the alt-right has no formal ideology, white nationalism is fundamental to the movement and it is associated with white supremacism, Islamophobia, antifeminism, homophobia, antisemitism, ethno-nationalism, right-wing populism, nativism, traditionalism, and the neo-reactionary movement. Not only do they oppose liberalism but they also oppose traditional conservatism. They are bad news and now they have the ear of the most powerful man in the world. I shared on FB what my friend Gary Boren who now lives in California wrote me "Look at the people who he [Trump] is appointing to cabinet posts, not any of them are focused on the economy... they are all focused on right wing agenda of removing gay rights, women's rights, basically all human rights and instead doing what is called expanding religious freedoms, which basically entails taking away all of the rights listed above. The real danger here is he has surrounded himself with far right wing people who are pushing a far right wing agenda. When you put all these people in a room filled with only their opinions things like gay rights and how non white people are destroying America, all sounds "normal", they back each other up in there far right positions and egg each other on to push the far right agenda. This is far worse then just having Trump for president. And they not only control the Executive branch of the government, they control the Legislative Branch and soon will control the Judicial Branch of the government.

·         Roland Ron Holmgren I am not surprised in anything he does. He is a con man. And those rust belt men who supported him are going to be pissed when he doesn't produce what he promised.

15 November 2016 Tuesday

I ran Chuck Whyte up to Bountiful to his foot doctor who gave him some good news for him. I guess his broken ankle is 99 percent healed. While I was up there I went to Parson’s Bakery and bought a bunch of donuts. I taught Christine Parson many years in 4^th grade. She is probably at least 33 now lol. Then I went over to see the new Smith grocery story that recently opened where the old K-Mart used to be. Its huge and doubt if I will go there much. Chuck wanted to take me to lunch and to Walmart but I declined, I had a lot to do. So when I got home I called Derrick Maylone to see if I could bring “Murphy” which I think they want to call the pup.   They live in a little alley street called Grace Court south of Beans and Brew on 5^th East and 9^th South. So I handed the little guy off to him and said I’d see them again Thursday when the pup is neutered. I fall too fast and too hard. I teared up when I left but I know he is going to have a good life. Then I came home and pulled up all my tomato plants in the front yard before the freeze. It was about 67 today but temperatures are dropping tomorrow to freezing at night. I have so many green tomatoes almost a bushel.  It’s been a weird season...Usually I start getting tomatoes in July and August but it was too hot and what I got burned up but when the weather cooled I had bushels but they were green and didn't really ripen until October and now its mid November and we haven't had a freeze or snow yet. Felt good to be grubbing in the dirt and put the bed to rest for the winter...but now I am pooped. Spent much of the day on my journal catching up since I had not written anything since November 3. I got to get a letter off to Kyle since he sent me a long one about his visit to Draper for his psychiatric evaluation I guess getting ready for his hearing.  LBJ once said, "I'll tell you what's at the bottom of it," he said. "If you can convince the lowest white man he's better than the best colored man, he won't notice you're picking his pocket. Hell, give him somebody to look down on, and he'll empty his pockets for you." For supporting “open borders and lax enforcement of immigration laws," Steve Bannon accused the leadership of the Church of Latter Day Saints of suffering from “an episode of moral incoherence.” Choke on that Orrin Hatch...Orrin Hatch you built this and you cannot disowned this...Shamefully a higher per cent of Mormons voted for Trump nationally than any other church... So the conclusion is that Mormons are generally ignorant or they are generally racist... your pick... with all the sexists and immoral rhetoric, the Mormon church would not criticize Trump... Now we have a White Supremacist from the Alternative Right [Alt Right] in the White House... People of Color are the New Jews [although the Alt Right is very anti semitic as well]... The Salt Lake Tribune reported “You won't find late Elder Boyd K. Packer's "little factory" pamphlet on the Mormon church's website or online store. That's because officials have "retired" it, leaving the widely distributed — and widely mocked — sermon available only under the 1976 General Conference section.” LOL ... about time... seriously the damage this man did to young LDS men is criminal. This is what happens when you abandon logic and reason and give blind obedience to flawed mortal men... why people think they need an intermediary between them and God is totally foreign to me.

·         Dear Kyle,      I know I owed you a long letter.  I am sure you thought I forgot about you.  I got your letter about your trip to Draper and your parole hearing date. I wrote you a letter to put in your file but I am sending it separately.  I knew about your parole date before I got your letter. About the last of October I got an email from VINE about a parole board hearing. I called the number they gave me and they informed me that your hearing was the 15th of December. Then I get 5 more VINE messages that did concern me. First one said you were gone from Gunnison. The 2nd one said you were in sheriff custody and then a 3rd one said your were at Draper and then a 4th one said you were in Sheriff custody again and a 5th one said you were back in Gunnison.  I was worried that they were putting you in county lock up again and that you lost your Math examination work and your possessions again. Also it made me hesitant to write because I had no idea whether a letter would reach you or not; so I waited to hear from you. Then the election nightmare sent me and everyone I knew into a state of shock, fear, and depression.  I still am. I still can't wrap my head around what happened last Tuesday. It wasn't just losing an election...I've done that plenty of times...this feels different this time it’s like I lost my country. About two weeks ago I pushed too hard at the gym and my sciatica flared back up. My leg hurts so badly especially in the morning when I first get up that I can hardly stand it.  It’s excruciating. I am not one to take pain pills but I did for the first couple of days and then just went on extra strength Tylenol. After awhile, especially while sitting all day working on the computer it does feel better if not entirely subsiding. Its better now and I’ve stopped taking anything for the pain. It’s just sore now and I can live with that and will be going back to walking at the gym. On the second of November I had a sleep apnea study at the Sleep Wake Clinic up at the University of Utah.  There I was wired up for the night to monitor me for sleep apnea.  The Sleep study was nothing after sleeping with three dogs every night. I had no problem sleeping and the staff was very professional and kind. It was a 100 percent improvement over the one I did 17 years ago at St. Marks.  I slept right through the night and dreamed that Abraham Lincoln was playing the piano at this reception for all my Gay friends...honestly have no idea where that came from LOL.  My Bariatric Doctor wanted me to have the study before surgery in January. The Sleep Clinic was high enough up on the east bench that when I came out at 6 in the morning there was frost all over my Cruiser. But down here we haven’t even had a freeze yet but am expecting one tomorrow night. So I pulled up all my tomato plants in the front yard before the freeze comes. It was about 67 today but it’s only expected to be in the 40s with a hard freeze tomorrow. I have so many green tomatoes almost a bushel.  It’s been a weird season...Usually I start getting tomatoes in July and August but it was too hot and what I had  burned up but when the weather cooled I had bushels but they were green and didn't really ripen until October and now its mid November and we haven't had a freeze or snow yet. Felt good to be grubbing in the dirt and put the bed to rest for the winter.  I want to clean the leaves up before rain or snow comes. Jim Dabakis asked me to join him to see a Plan B Theater play last Friday called One Big Union. So glad he did. The play was about the trial of Joe Hill and the IWW [The International Workers of the World]... The acting was terrific and they sang the songs that Joe Hill had written...The cast was outstanding but this Roger Dunbar who played Joe Hill was mesmerizing. We just happened to be sitting behind Historian Will Bagley and I presume his wife and we chatted about the play afterwards. Dabakis introduced me as the Gay Historian and Will Bagley said “like Connell O’Donovan?”  And I said “without the self promotion.” Both Will and I had attended the 75th Anniversary of Joe Hill's execution at the old Sugar House Prison at Sugar House Park so many years ago when Pete Seeger came to commemorate the event. Before the play Jim and I had coffee at Nostalgia where we comforted our decimated Democratic souls. I fostered a Pomeranian Schnauzer mix for about a week for Hearts 4 Paws... I am not ready to adopt another dog yet but I thought I could a foster and find him a good home like I did Wiley, Farley’s brother.  I picked him up on November 7th and had him until the 15th.  He was so cute all black with a long tail and his little ears stick out like a Papillion ... He's only 9 months old and taken from a house with 10 dogs.  The woman who runs Hearts 4 Paws, Laurie Epperson asked me to foster him because he needed lots of reassurance and affection.  His name was Mufi and that had to go so I called him Marley as a tribute to Farley and it had the Mmmmm sound. Everyone was fine with him except TJ, my little Chihuahua, who was jealous and snarled a lot at him at first. Maxx just wanted to play with him.  Buddy and Harleigh could not have cared less.  So I was busy that week taking him down to be groomed and over to Ma and Paws Bakery on last Saturday for adoption day. Part of me of course didn’t want to give him up but when a Gay couple applied to adopt him I knew I had to let him go. So I took the pup I called Marley down to Ma and Paw’s Bakery on Saturday where Laurie Epperson had set up an adoption site. Lots of sweet babies were needing homes. There I met Derrick and Dan who were there to adopt Marley. I told them that I had recommended that Laurie let them adopt him. Derrick was so excited and as I passed the pup over to him the pup fell right into his arms and wanted to be held by him the entire time. I was so thrilled that Dan and Derrick adopted my foster pup, especially after seeing how he melted into Derricks arms. [I would have too ha!] Marley and Derrick immediately bonded. Marley just wanted to be held by Derrick and nuzzled into him the whole time. You could tell how excited he was about his new fur baby. So it was a sweet day and a sad day...Sweet to have found Marley two daddies to adopt him at the Hearts 4 Paws event but sad to know I will be missing the little fur ball. However I had to take him back home with me because Laurie wanted me to take him down to be neutered. She originally said it was Tuesday but later I was told that the procedure was for Thursday. So I called Derrick up and said I would bring him the pup they were renaming Murphy, which I did. I could not make them wait that long to have their pup so I will just meet them at the vet. I teared up a little leaving the little guy. I am such a boob. But he will have a wonderful home for the rest of his life.  One of husbands who adopted him is the director of diversity at Westminster College and Derrick is finishing up his masters in Social Work. They are in their late 20s or early 30’s so Murphy will have a good loving home...they were already buying things for their new baby at the adoption.... So it was a successful adoption like my little boy schnauzer last spring ...but I am a little sad to see the cutie leave but he's a pup and has fallen into a bowl of cherries. Had to go to the U for my last Bariatric nutrition class at 11:30 on Election Day... I wasn’t too worried about the election and I had already voted by mail. I started to watch some of the projections but when PBS looked worried and Trump was doing better than expected, I couldn’t stand watching the election returns so I went to bed ... I couldn’t  believe Trump was doing as well as he was... Seriously ... I woke up in the middle of the night having a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach that something was wrong in the universe, so opened FB and when I saw the first post from Michael Ferguson, who was in despair, it only got worse from there on and I had to turn it off. It had to be a nightmare. The next day was “11/9 the greatest tragedy since 9/11”. I was prostrate with grief for most of the day following the election. I was sick, heartbroken, and ashamed ... I felt like I woke up in the Twilight Zone. Fascism had indeed come to America with a cross wrapped in a flag... America had put a sociopath in the White House supported by the KKK and Neo Nazis, a man who will go on trial for rape and fraud within weeks... I was 9/11 stunned. After 150 years the Confederacy finally won ... America was brought down by the Republican Party... Might as well hoist the Confederate flag over the White House. We survived Nixon, we survived Reagan, we survived Bush...we will survive Trump But will we survive a Trump appointed Supreme Court? The Affordable Care Act gone, the Climate Accords gone, Marriage Equality gone, The Voting Act gone, Gun control gone, Citizen United stays, Religious Liberty stays, ... Republicans have all the power now... Will they make our lives better? Of course not. I was extremely pissed at all these posts saying to give Trump a chance. I deleted 6 family members. I felt so betrayed. If they could vote for Trump regardless of the harm he intends to inflict on me and those I love, they are no family to me.  I said please don't insult me and say I must get behind the Trump Administration for the good of the country. Certainly it won’t be good for me and my folk. Pence is already gathering policy makers who wants to end marriage equality, destroy the families of people I love, and roll back my rights to live in America without fear of being harassed or harmed. When Trump appoints another Scalia to the Supreme Court, with an anti Gay controlled Congress and an anti Gay Executive Branch he can and will wreck havoc on all the progress we have made in the last 30 years. I understand why people are protesting an administration that has vowed to harm minorities in order to make America great again. My ancestors were on the wrong side of history being Confederates and they paid a price for it. I refuse to dishonor them by being on the wrong side again. Trump voters kept posting that once as President, Trump will change. I wrote “Pease don't insult me by saying this 70 year old man is going to change once President... He's the one who said he'd put Hillary in jail.” I am sorry, but this “child rapist”, “pussy grabbing”, “man whore”, “swindler”, “your fired” “egotistical billionaire fraud” “Putin supporting” and “anti Mexican, Muslim, Gays and Trans hater” will NEVER be my president...he may befoul the Oval Office for 4 years but he will never be Presidential... The Republicans have foisted a Nero on our Republic...He will fiddle while Rome burns... My Gay sympathizers also wrote that we should roll up our sleeves and get to work in the resistance however I wrote “Allow us time to grieve this betrayal of America's “E Pluribus Unum” motto by the “In God We Trust” crowd...  I refuse to refer to Donald Trump as President of the United States...he will always be “President Pussy Grabber” to me...whenever I see him or hear him I think “whose pussy does he want to grab?” Andy Borowitz said  “Harry Reid called Trump a sexual predator who lost the popular vote. This statement requires no fact-checking.” Donald Trumps' Electoral College debacle is the greatest tragedy to this America since 9/11... Half the country is angry and in mourning while the other half is too stupid to know what happened. This is what Trump voters wanted “rich white trash moving into the White House”, [if Donald even decides to leave the gilded Trump Towers] because people were gullible to believe a man who is a proven liar will be the one to Make America Great Again. I find it amazing that Billy Bush can be fired for associating with Donald Trump while Americans voted for Trump to be President of these United States. "We can’t suddenly forget or forgive what Trump said during the campaign. In Trump we suddenly face a president-elect who has been wallowing in the cesspool of hate and extremism." Sorry I am not ready to move on... He is not qualified to shine Obama's shoes let alone occupy his chair... Watch his cabinet get filled with lunatics, climate deniers, theocrats, and anti social net charlatans... It’s all ready started with putting Steve Bannon in the White House.  An Alt Right [Alternative Right] white supremacist in the White House?  Even before the election an angry White Trump Supporter killed two police officers in Iowa because he was upset that his Confederate Flag was stolen... Who are the terrorists in this country? Disgruntled White men with too much access to guns and hate talk radio.   I soon went from despair to resistance within a couple of days. I am an American ...I believe in Democracy ... Sometimes it fails but I believe it will right itself... The Republicans have two years to prove they can make America better rather than thrive on fear and hate. They will have no one but themselves to blame when everything falls apart. That more Americans voted for Hillary Clinton than they did for Donald Trump...that gives me hope for the future... There was no mandate for Trump .... We lost because of the antiquated Electoral College not because of our Progressive Message... Same thing happened in 2000... Gore won the popular vote but Bush won the Electoral College [so the packed Supreme Court said]... And that election turned out so well didn't it? 9/11, the Iraqi Invasion, Halliburton, the Economic Meltdown of 2008... It is a sweet and sour consolation that Hillary Clinton won the popular vote of those who even bothered to vote. Half of the electorate did not even vote!  Trump won with less of a fourth of eligible voters.  Hardly a mandate.  I wonder if any one besides myself find it alarming that Steve Bannon of Breitbart, who has for years given voice to anti-Semitic, racist and white nationalist ideology is now Trumps top administration strategist? He promotes the fascist Alt Right movement that opposes immigration, multiculturalism and political correctness.  “While the alt-right has no formal ideology, white nationalism is fundamental to the movement and it is associated with white supremacism, Islamophobia, antifeminism, homophobia, antisemitism, ethno-nationalism, right-wing populism, nativism, traditionalism, and the neo-reactionary movement. Not only do they oppose liberalism but they also oppose traditional conservatism.” They are bad news and now they have the ear of the most powerful man in the world. There was a big protest rally and march in Salt Lake City last Friday like they are happening all over the United States. There's a reason people are protesting...it's not because they are sore losers… it's because they are scared. People are posting on FB hundreds of records of intimidation and attacks on people of color and Gays just since the election. My Facebook page is lit up with people sharing attacks emboldened by Alt Right fascists. It is sickening. And with Donald Trump appointing Steve Bannon of Breitbart into his policy making inner circle it will only get worse. I thought George W Bush’s Neocons were evil. The California State Legislature made this statement about a Donald Trump Presidency "While Donald Trump may have won the presidency, he hasn’t changed our values. America is greater than any one man or party. We will not be dragged back into the past. We will lead the resistance to any effort that would shred our social fabric or our Constitution. California was not a part of this nation when its history began, but we are clearly now the keeper of its future." I know pictures of people burning the American flag is emotionally upsetting to some as it is to me as that they should be burning Confederate Flags; but the majority of the Supreme Court held that flag burning constitutes a form of "symbolic speech" that is protected by the First Amendment. They decided that almost 30 years ago in the case of Texas v. Johnson.   I say if we have to live with Donald Trump as President, who will do great harm to this nation, we can live with flag burning which does no real harm to anyone. Here in Utah a Gay couple’s car was spray painted with red paint “Fagit” “Fags get out”.  You know they weren’t the brightest when they couldn’t even spell faggot. In my neighborhood a neighbor hood watch posted this- “Safety concerns for my Latino/a neighbors in Rose Park Amber Whiteley from Rose Park • Ever since the election there have been reports of white men driving around my neighborhood in a white pickup truck yelling "trump is president, build the wall". This is obviously targeted towards the amount of Hispanic and Latino/a families that live here. This is also a violent, threatening act and I won't stand for it happening in my neighborhood.  I wanted to make other neighbors aware that this is happening so we can report this to the police when we see this happening.  Description of vehicle involved – Color: White, Type: Pickup Truck.”  That pissed me off because I have a white truck with an American decal on it. I refuse to let the radical right co-opt our flag. They can use the Confederate like the racist traitors they are. Okay the KKK won, Alt Right won, the misogynists won, the homophobes won, and the anti government theocrats won this time... But I refuse to believe they represent America.... The only optimism I could conjure up to not completely despair is the fact these angry old white men are dying.  ...Trump is 70 ... This election is the last gasp of those about to go extinct...maybe this will be a wakeup call to young people that civics matters... I shared on FB what my friend Gary Boren who now lives in California wrote "Look at the people who he [Trump] is appointing to cabinet posts, not any of them are focused on the economy... they are all focused on right wing agenda of removing gay rights, women's rights, basically all human rights and instead doing what is called expanding religious freedoms, which basically entails taking away all of the rights listed above. The real danger here is he has surrounded himself with far right wing people who are pushing a far right wing agenda. When you put all these people in a room filled with only their opinions on things like gay rights and how non white people are destroying America, it all sounds "normal", they back each other up in their far right positions and egg each other on to push the far right agenda. This is far far worse then just having Trump for president. And they not only control the Executive branch of the government, they control the Legislative Branch and soon will control the Judicial Branch of the government. It hurt my heart to have read Hillary’s concession speech ... But am proud to have supported Hillary and defended her against all the hate and lies thrown against her... I have lost many, many elections but this one hurts the most...... Its especially shaming is that Melania Trump, Donald’s 3rd trophy wife, will occupy the same position as First Ladies Michelle Obama, Laura Bush, Hillary Clinton, Barbara Bush, Nancy Reagan, Rosalind Carter, Betty Ford, Pat Nixon, Lady Byrd Johnson, Jackie Kennedy, Mamie Eisenhower, Bess Truman and Eleanor Roosevelt. I am so upset also with Millennials and others who thought Hillary Clinton wasn't warm and fuzzy enough for them.  They called her a crook when she has never been convicted or even been brought to trial for anything. But she wasn't likeable enough for them. Well I guess they also don't like clean air and water since the Trump Administration wants to end the EPA. I guess they don't like science as Climate change deniers and the fossil fuel capitalists are put in policy making positions. I guess they didn't like an increase in the minimum wage, and college tuition reform.  They also didn't like Medicare and the Affordable Care Act. They must have really hate Social Security and believe they  can make enough to put it in the stock market and hope it doesn't crash when they are ready to retire. They must not care whether Citizen United is ever repealed or whether Marriage Equality is left to the states or who sits on the Supreme Court for the next 20 years. Yes I guess Hillary didn't wow them enough and felt a Billionaire con man would keep his promise to "make America great again" whatever that means. Trump America is what they wanted evidently because Hillary Clinton wasn’t their best friend forever.  Well the Jill Stein, Gary Johnson, and Bernie fanatics can bend over now because they are about to be screwed big time by the 1  percent without lube or a reach around. Well president Elect Pussy Grabber has made Vice Elect Mike Pence head of his transition team...I guess that's so when the Trumpette gets impeach or resigns Pontus Pence will have his team of theocrats in place to declare the United States a Christian Nation under Biblical law... Fake Christians supporting the most Anti-Christ like candidate ever… because they hate powerful women, people of color and gay people.... Hate based on fear of being emasculated and losing power and privilege. But seriously Trump has given running his business over to his kids who are also on his transition team... Inside trading anyone? Am I the only one who sees a “yuge” conflict of interest? It's Bigly... Anyone paying attention also should have been worried when Trump insisted the GOP platform be changed so as not to defend the Ukraine and his wanting to pull the U.S. out of NATO and saying American Generals are incompetent... a vote for Trump is a vote for Treason and WWIII in my book... Well played Vladimir you put your guy in the White House who won't oppose your territorial ambitions... Thanks asshole Hatch for putting party before country... Republicans are so screwed up the only thing they hate more than Democrats is each other... I will grieve but I won't roll over... I hope you got a chance to see the Bella Luna the other night... It won’t be back for 68 years. I looked at its majesty and realized that it shines for People of Color, Muslims, Jews, Buddhists, Hindi, pagans, atheists, Gays, Trans, straight males and females, not just for white people and Christians... And so shines the Blessings of the Constitution on all Americans...not just the few.  It’s less than a month for your hearing. Despite the election results, I hope your spirits are up and you are in good health. As I always have been and always will be Your friend Ben

·         To whom it may concern,      I am writing in behalf of inmate Warren Kyle Foote #187422 for his hearing before the Utah State Board of Pardons and Parole.  My name is Edgar H Williams and I have known Mr. Foote for over six years. We met when I taught his nephew when I was an Educator employed by the Davis School District as an elementary school teacher, since retired.  Mr. Foote was employed by me to paint my house and do some remodelling in the fall of 2010, and soon I had him move into my basement apartment. He was working as director of the Sugar House Farmers Market at the time.  He built me a 30 foot balcony deck and a ground deck for me. He has skills to become a useful and productive citizen. To the best of my knowledge, of which I am fairly certain, he has never used illegal substances or drugs. He volunteered at NAMI, National Alliance on Mental Illness and helped organized programs for them. He had a sincere interest in doing volunteer work during the time that he lived with me.  He is a veteran of the Air Force Reserves and entitled to Veteran benefits, and he served a mission in Brazil for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.  He has remained in contact with his former Mission President’s wife over the years. Since his incarceration I have had an ongoing correspondence with Mr. Foote and have been a frequent visitor at the Central Utah Correction Facility in Gunnison the past several years.  I believe that he is truly remorseful for his criminal behaviour, realizing the hurt and damage he had done and that he wishes to lead a better life for himself and those he had victimized.  I am fully aware of his past fraudulent behaviour and do feel that his time spent incarcerated has given him opportunity to realize that what he did was wrong and wants to set a better path for himself to never become a societal offender again.  Mr. Foote has tried to improve himself while incarcerated by taking advantage of career courses and working on finishing his degree from Salt Lake Community College. I believe that he is a highly intelligent man who, if given the opportunity, will turn his life around, make better choices for his life, and will become a contributing member of society. I intend to help him readjust to life outside of incarceration by providing him a room in my home. Sincerely

16 November 2016 Wednesday

The weather is changing and it feels like late October not the middle of November. It was about 67 today but tonight it will drop to freezing with rain and snow. Tomorrow is only going to be around 44 degrees. Brrr. Richard Butler wanted to go out to lunch and we went to the Greek Souvlaki out in West Valley to meet half way. I had a Yeero with red sauce and a Greek Salad... Mighty tasty and Rich treated. We then went out to Winco on 54th West and 21st South so I could get my Zoom. I was impressed with store and its huge and really good prices. I bought two boxes of Zoom because after my surgery will have to eat soft food for a while. Came home and used the leaf blower to tidy up...I hate dealing with wet leaves. Now I am making vegetable cabbage soup like my Dad always did. Hated it as a kid but now in cold weather its the best.

Cabbage and beef vegetable soup for supper tonight with a slice of thick crusty bread for sopping.... Peasant fare for this peasant

Hmmm Thanksgiving is a week from tomorrow. I have it all planned out. A bottle of Manischewitz, Banquet frozen Turkey dinner, a can of black olives and Mrs. Smith's Pumpkin Pie... Maybe I'll get a second Banquet Turkey dinner for left overs! Thanksgiving Solved! Yummy Yummy... should I splurge on a can of cranberry jelly. Sure why not! But after drinking a bottle of Manischewitz I will have pass out anyway. Happy Thanksgiving!

·         Richard P. Butler Great Yeero at Greek Souvlaki! Glad we were able to do a few things before the storm. Tomorrow will be hibernation in the house.

·         Craig Hunter Ben, I sure do love your posts. They are filled with very informative information. I sure miss those years from the 1980s when you would cook the worlds most awesome food. I was so glad to get to catch up with you a year ago. You are so amazing. Hugs!

·         Curtis Jensen wrote “The long reign of Spencer W Kimball's terror is over. Deseret Book has announced they are will stop printing of this piece of garbage. This book literally encourages young Gay men to kill themselves rather than live another day as a Gay person. It exists as a crime against humanity that ruined people's lives. To the dustbin! Thanks Edgar Ben Williams for the wonderful news.

·         Cranberry Christmas Cake 3 eggs, 2 cups sugar, 3/4 cup butter, softened 1 teaspoon vanilla, 2 cups all-purpose flour, 12 oz fresh cranberries, Instructions: Preheat oven to 350 degrees. With a mixer, beat the eggs with the sugar until slightly thickened and light in colour, about 5-7 minutes. The mixture should almost double in size. The eggs work as your leavening agent in this recipe, so do not skip this step. This mixture should form a ribbon when you lift the beaters out of the bowl. Add the butter and vanilla; mix two more minutes. Stir in the flour until just combined. Add the cranberries and stir to mix throughout. Spread in a buttered 9x13 pan. Bake for 40-50 minutes, or until very lightly browned and a toothpick inserted near the centre of the cake comes out clean. (I baked mine for 43 minutes.) Let cool completely before cutting into small slices. I cut mine into fairly small pieces, about 1"x2", so that they could be easily eaten at a party. Enjoy!

17 November 2016 Thursday

Got up early to be at the Veterinarian hospital on 48th South in Murray to check in "Murphy" for his neutering and rabies shots at 8 am. Derrick and Dan met me there and I had them do all the paper work so they can pick him up when he has recovered. Murphy gave me some goodbye kisses and I left before I could get too sentimental. He will have a great life with guys who will adore him. So I relinquished my little foster so he can have a wonderful life. Went to the Barber College on 72nd South for a haircut and beard trim...it's inexpensive and it's always fun to have a young guy fuss all over you...snip snip. Even had a razor trim on the neck...then home and mopped the floors before having Bill Poore over for lunch...having someone over is a good motivator to clean when things slide...we had cabbage soup and broiled cheese toast... We decided not to spend the next four years in angst over Trump...we did what is right and we spent years living through Nixon, Reagan, and George W Bush...we are not going to spend our remaining years in turmoil...it's young people's turn... But I do believe why us golden liberals are heartbroken because we probably wont live to see the turn around and this is it for us...the dismantling of LBJ's Great Society...when America believed in helping people instead of hurting them. Roland Ron Holmgren wrote in reply “Thank you, Ben. While you will probably live to see a turn around, realistically, I won't. I think this is what has made me so depressed. What is even more depressing is family members, who will live long enough to see the devastation he will cause are joyfully celebrating his victory. And maybe I am wrong, but I don't think they have the grit to do anything about it. (My kinfolks).

Having Wonderful Zoom for supper this chilly November evening. Hmmm hot cereal! Been asked to foster "Cupcake"...she was a surrender because owners did not have time for her...Supposed to be sweet as can be wire hair Chihuahua...Will bring her home tomorrow. She's about 5 years old...We [the pups and I] will see how it goes and hopefully get her into a good home who has time for her. The best way I can honour Lucky Daisy and Farley is helping these little sweet hearts find good homes.

·         James Dabakis Those adorable eyes. She looks like she is plotting.

·         Bill Poore She will turn from foster within a day and be adopted to join Ben's Mormon dog polygamy family making Utah proud...well except Ben is a Democrat. You told me you were not going to get another foster until after Thanksgiving....so that means with Coco, Alans two monsters, your four and now Cupcake there will be 8 on Thanksgiving? Daisy, Farley and Lucky are tired of you using them as an excuse.

·         Laurie Epperson Yes it really is the best way to honour your other pets. She is a real sweetheart probably more of a terrier tiny little thing 10/12 pounds, thanks for your willingness to take care of her.

·         Jon Michael WTF is wrong with people? How could anyone not have time for that baby?

·         Laurie Epperson I know right, all she wants to do is be with you. She seems housebroken she wasn't doing well in the shelter.

·         Jon Michael She is a total love!

18 November 2016 Friday

Met Cupcake...she's a 5 year old chihuahua terrier mix...she was a surrender to Hearts 4 Paws... She's darling, doesn't bark...likes to be petted...knows how to use a doggy door... I picked her up at 4:30... Hope to find her a great home like Murphy did...but until then she's out of a shelter and has a temporary hospitality suite...

·         Russell Pack We LOVE you, dear friend. Thank you for being such a good soul.

·         Jon Michael Well said!

·         Jesse Dolce cute dog.

·         James Dabakis Cupcake won the lottery!

·         Edgar Ben Williams And hopefully find her forever home while at Club Fernleaf ....

·         Laurie Epperson Aww what a good girl. Thanks for fostering her.

·         I am so glad she is fitting in.

19 November 2016 Saturday

I finished putting up my Thanksgiving lights...I don't feel as bad putting lights up before Thanksgiving if I don't call them Xmas lights. The day after Thanksgiving they become Xmas lights...the day was so nice ...strike before the snow blows in... I made an Apple Pie also to go with Chili and Beans I made yesterday...Corn bread will go in the oven before company comes...Harliegh and Cupcake like cooked yams...Harliegh even likes his carrots and apple slices...the rest of the pups turn their noses up...Cupcake is adjusting well and will let me rub her belly... She needs a haircut and she will be a real beauty... If you fall off a ladder stringing Xmas lights do you go immediately to heaven? Does heaven smell like my apple pie that I made yesterday for company tonight? Fed the pups chicken gizzards for supper and couldn't find Harleigh...I called and called still no Harleigh...put my slippers on and looked all over the back yard... Back in the house I see a lamp cord move behind the lazy boys...I pulled the couch out and there comes Harleigh...don't ask me why he didn't bark or how he got stuck...silly goose...having some folks over for dinner and a movie tonight so I fixed chilli and cornbread. Its movie night but only Michael, Andy Dalrymple, Greg Allen and Jay showed. We watch Death Trap. I posted this on FB “If you are hungry, the 1st Baptists are having their Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow about 12:15 in the cultural hall at 8th South and 13th East...I plan on helping out in the kitchen and serving... I like to do it every year for all the love support the church gives the Gay community over the years...” So billionaire Trump agreed to settle his Trump University swindle for $25 million! Oooh so much money! Not really For the rest of us making $40,000 a year it equals a $100 fine for us... A traffic ticket... Chump change for Trump...

·         Greg Allen You fell?! Glad you're ok in your heavenly kitchen!

·         Edgar Ben Williams Almost fell... Never climb a step ladder wearing bedroom slippers 😇

·         Roland Ron Holmgren OMG. Even I know better.

20 November 2016 Sunday

Home from prepping and helping with a Thanksgiving Dinner for the 1st Baptists. Got there about 8:45 and stayed until 1:00 when my old legs were giving out. Hard to stand on my feet for a half a day anymore ...worked on peeling 30 lbs of potatoes and cubing them, then apples, then carrots and then washing pots and pans up. My friends Greg Allen, Jay Vallar, and Robert Cross were all there helping also. Robert had the worse job, carving turkeys and stripping meat of the carcass. Feeding about 125 people... But it felt good to be in a kitchen with a bunch of worker bees each making dinner come together. I stayed during the serving but between my sciatica on my right leg and the sore left leg from step off the step ladder wrong my legs were about to buckle. Only foul up I could see was when a yam casserole they fixed was baked with raw yams instead of roasting the yams before so when I left it still wasn't done. Gonna be tons of Casserole left over. But no one asked me who had been a dormitory cook for 700 students in my younger years LOL

·         Robert Edward Cross It was great to see you and work together again.

·         Roland Ron Holmgren You are a good man.

·         Courtney Moser The diner was great. The potatoes were most excellent.

·         Edgar Ben Williams They used real butter and half and half... I was in charge of peeling and boiling some one else made them... this cute African American teenager. Did you get any yams LOL

21 November 2016 Monday

I Went to my doctors this morning for a check up and my A1c is down so that's good...then at 1 I took Cupcake into the Spade and Neuter clinic to see if she had been spade and she was...Last night I was concerned about her because she was hobbling and her belly was sore if I touched her. The clinic couldn't see anything wrong and she seems well now... I am making a kettle of split pea soup and ham for this rainy gloomy weather. I have hound surround...Cupcake found her spot in the niche of my head board, TJ is under the covers by my belly, Maxx is by my feet and Buddy to my side...old Harleigh is the only one who doesn't want to pile on....so glad Cupcake is feeling better...yesterday she was hurting.... Now if I could only get the pups to go out in the rain to do their business...Why did our fathers and grandfathers bother storming the beaches of Normandy if we allow pieces of shit like the Alt Right to rise to the top in America? The rise of fascism brought to by the Grand Old Party and ignorant people everywhere...If you voted for the candidate supported by the KKK and the Alt Right you are more than deplorable ...you are despicable... I hope you are offended.

·         Bill Poore why was she hurting? Did Max beat her up? Just crawl out the doggie door and go pee in the yard and they will follow, you seem to all do the same things. I noticed you kneel down on the ground and eat from the doggie bowl once in a while. You guys seem to blend well. Well by Thursday you will have Alans two social misfits, anti social personalities....Don't be surprised if I vanish after about 20 mins.

22 November 2016 Tuesday

I think Cupcake feels pretty safe and secure sleeping with her belly up. Christian right wing bigots have elected a petty demagogue...and a scandalous mountebank... shame on you shame on all Trump voters.

23 November 2016 Wednesday

People are baking their pies and kitchens across America are smelling delicious as people prep to have their ovens free for the main guest the Turkey... Pies are being delivered here tomorrow and I am doing some prep work...got my cornbread dressing done... Roasted my yams... Dinner is at 2 so plenty of time to peel potatoes, fix some side dishes, corn and diced red bell peppers, Italian green beans with sautéed mushrooms, butternut squash and yellow squashed roasted... Cream cheese celery and olives... glazed ham and roasted turkey and gravy... Should be plenty I would think... Cupcake had a dirty bottom and she hated having her behind washed with the shower hose and dog shampoo but once out of the tub and dried she was so excited about having a clean cooter she went crazy lol. I have seen this meme from Common Sense Conservative's acting like they are the victims.....Bull Shit... it is Hard to respect people's opinions when Clean water and air is at stake, when the rights of Gay folks and their marriages are in jeopardy, when a Muslim registry is contemplated, when Climate change is called a hoax, when their candidate allies with a criminal Putin, lies without shame, is seen as less corrupt than Hillary... Is morally bankrupt... Never cared about anyone but himself.....I could go on...Trump voters, only a 1/4 of those who could vote, supported racism, bigotry, and hypocrisy... If calling them on their choice to put a Mountebank in the White House is hateful... Then call me hateful... These anti Gay Religious Hypocrites lost any moral high ground when they supported a adulterous 3 times married lecher who has to have a golden toilet to shit in over a humble Methodist who lived her principles all her life... If you voted for Religious reasons like Mormons and evangelicals did for religious liberty you are a bigot masquerading as a Christian...

·         Terry McKeown ......don't peel the potatoes....... Have a great thanksgiving!

·         James Dabakis Utah's gracious grandma. A state treasure!

·         Terry McKeown No doubt!

24 November 2016 Thursday

Well Thanksgiving 2016 has come and gone and since I am having bariatric by pass next January it will probably be my last one... I've supervised big community dinner for 75 or more and even cooked them over at my tiny Juel Apt...Been invited to a few too...but my big prep dinners are over. I made a baked turkey breast, glazed ham, corn bread dressing, candied pecan yams, bacon and mushroom green beans, sauté red bell peppers and corn, roasted butternut squash, mashed potatoes, turkey gravy, rolls, celery and cream cheese, black and green olives, and cranberry sauce... Bill Poore brought a Marie Calendar Banana Cream and pumpkin pie.. Charles Bigo brought an apple tart ring, and Dan Fahndrich and Randy Olson brought wine... I've known Dan and Randy for over 30 years....Charles I just met this year so had old and new friends over....Dan brought a DVD he made of Beyond Stonewall... a summer retreat I organized some 25 years ago when we were much younger men....Dan even used the hot tub while we visited.... So had a great time and even the 7 pups had turkey for Thanksgiving.....Corky and Bhanni are exhausted and TJ is snuggling in for the evening.  Harleigh has passed our .... And it's only 7 .... The other three Buddy, Cupcake, and Maxx are probably in bed already.... This is my life and I am thankful for family, good friends, and furry babies... Even the monsters. In bed myself after a long day by 8 pm. TJ is burrowed in under the covers....Buddy, Corky and Bhanni are butt to butt and Maxx and Cupcake are at the foot...only Harleigh is off by himself...he likes to sleep on the lazy boy with his hind legs up in the air against the back rest... The dogs act like they are the ones that cooked all day ...vacuumed and mopped and cleaned house.... and packed the food away and did the dishes not me.... Before calling it a night wanted to say how beautiful was the flower arrangement that Bill Poore brought over...he is always thoughtful that way and I am thankful for all his kindness and friendship putting up with an old codger like me...Florence Henderson aka known as Carol Brady of the Brady Bunch died yesterday at the age of 82

·         Charles Bigo The food was maaaveeelous you all! The conversation and friendship were superb. We look forward to Ben's return to his role as historian of gay culture and friend to all!

·         Dan Fahndrich And the food was marvelous. Plus, Randy is only 35 years old so he did not realize you knew him before he jumped from the womb into the gay world.....

·         Bill Poore Thank you so much for a great dinner, loved the food and your great guests. And the food was so so good, great company as usual, sorry I rushed but have be craving banana cream. Don't know why your surgery will change things. I promise you will be able to eat all that food again, maybe not for a few months but you will be able to.

25 November 2016 Friday

My Black Friday shopping consisted of going to DI and buying some Xmas decorations and to Caputo's to buy a loaf of Sourdough Bread... Did go out in the evening to see Chuck Whyte's brother and sister -in-law who were up for Thanksgiving from Mission Viejo... Stephen Bolinder was there also so made an appointment to have him groom cupcake tomorrow...Yesterday I made my cornbread dressing in a crockpot...it was moist and cooked through and through, and freed up the oven...I will never bake dressing again.... Hard to tell the recipe...because it depends on how much you want...this is basically my moms corn bread dressing recipe... Dried bread torn up, canned biscuits baked and torn up... Baked corn bread...(krustez is good and cheap) ... You need a big mixing bowl combine all your bread broken up...you can leave it on the counter to dry as much as you want... Then dice a bunch of celery including the leaves, dice an onion... Poultry seasoning, paprika, salt and pepper... Be liberal with the poultry seasoning or you can just use powder sage too... Now the tricky part is the wet ingredients depending how much you are making... Eggs, milk, oil, and chicken broth....probably 3 beaten eggs, 1 to 1 and half cup milk 1/2 cup oil, and 2 to 3 cups broth... Use less and then add...you want it really wet but not soupy...spray you crock pot dump it all in there and cover...cook on high for 2 to 3 hours...the eggs will make it rise some and the oil makes the top and sides crunchy... Did you know that it's stuffing when you stuff a turkey and dressing when you bake it separately.  Fidel Castro died today at the age of age 90, 53 years after John F. Kennedy was assassinated.

26 November 2016 Saturday

I took Cupcake in to Stephen Bolinder’s place in Sugar House this morning at 8:30 to have her groomed. Her hair was long and wiry and she needed a sanitary cut as well around her behind and cooter. So I shopped local today by going to the Dog Show in Sugar House on 15th and 15th and saw how the other half lives...still love my little ethnic neighbourhood at the other 17th and 17th...it's faster to go to Bountiful then across town in my own city...if it wasn't for Red Iguana those people wouldn't even venture out to my neck of the woods... Then I came home and pulled out the Xmas decorations and put up my little tree. A little Xmas tree suits my little house just fine...yes I know it's crooked but nothing is straight in my house not even the Xmas tree... Digging through Christmas stuff I packed away last year found two stockings that I won't be hanging up this year that had Lucky and Daisy’s name on them... Starting tearing up thinking of Daisy Lucky and Farley although I didn't have Farley long enough to spend a Christmas with him....I still have stockings for Buddy and Coco and they are still here to share another holiday season.... I guess I better go out and get three more stockings for Harleigh, Maxx and TJ who will spending their 1st Christmas with me...better get an extra for an Foster who might be spending Christmas with me... When I went and picked up Cupcake she looked like a brand new dog...So pretty. I decorated the front steps with Xmas festive things like a pinecone wreath, snow men, and Santa Claus.  I am drinking up the red wine that Dan Fahndrich left here for Thanksgiving...it's really good and I am not a wine drinker...go to Dan for all your wine advice...he's the man. So what do you do with left over ham? Make devilled ham spread of course served on crusty sourdough bread with olives. Just ham, celery, pickle relish, mayonnaise, mustard, paprika, Worcester sauce , and Tabasco sauce in a food processor... Cupcake is comfy on Daisy and Lucky's old stockings. I had some boys drawing swastikas in class once...they had no idea what it meant but saw skater boys doing it... So I sat down with them explained was Nazism is and the horror they unleashed in the world...had them read some kids books on WWII and one kid was so fascinated with the subject that is all he ever read that year.... Read to the Class "Number the Stars" about the Dutch secretly transporting Jewish children to Sweden by boat...

27 November 2016 Sunday

Corky and Bhanni went home this afternoon and I am sure they are zoned out like my pups are now...Maxx says glad to see them come and glad to see them go... Bhanni was more than ready to go home...even for dogs...there's no place like home...Kyle Daniels came over about 3 and picked up Corky and Bhanni. He asked if he could pick them up tomorrow and I said that they were home sick and needed to go home today. They really were, but I am exhausted from them. They are cuties but hyper especially Corky. So much more room in the bed with 4 dogs instead of 6! I can actually stretch out! Greg and Jay came over after church let out and I gave them a pink Xmas trees with the lights already on it that I never use anymore. President-elect Trump has never advocated for any registry or system that tracks individuals based on their religion, and to imply otherwise is completely false,” spokesman Jason Miller told the Huffington Post.... He's a God Damn liar... Either all of us that opposed a registry or Donald Trumps transition team are insane....

28 November 2016 Monday

Snowing all morning. The best part of being retired is not having to go anywhere when it snows...first real snow fall here in Westpointe part of SLC... So quiet with Maxx by my belly, Cupcake by my feet and TJ snuggling under the covers... Both Harleigh and Buddy are sleeping in too in their nesting spots...Did my final duty by going out to the airport to pick up Alan Anderson and take him back to the house to get his car...roads were a little slick but it wasn't snowing... So now I can get into my caftan and curl up with the pups... Frustrating when you leave FB to fact check something and when you come back the post is no longer on your feed...some asshole posted that the Clintons stole $200,000 worth of furnishings from the White House...I went to Snopes to refute it and when I came back the feed was gone...you can't even call these assholes liars...just assume if it's a conservative they are lying ...

29 November 2016 Tuesday

Went to Centerville to buy some scented candles now that winter is here and the house will be mostly shut up and stopped at In N Out Burgers... I have not eaten at one since they moved to Utah years ago. Either my taste buds have changed or they just aren't as good as I remember being in California. One of the 1st was down the street from where I lived on Magnolia and Trask... now why I remember that I don't know...had to have been 40 years ago...It was donate Tuesday so I donated $25 to Hearts 4 Paws and

30 November 2916 Wednesday

I went to lunch with Bill Poore today and met him at Charlie Chows downtown. He had been craving Chinese Food and the weather had cleared up some. I had Sweet and Sour Pork which was really tasty and Bill had Wontons and a big bowl of Egg Drop Soup. Kyle called me this evening at 6 pm.  Didn’t say much just anxious to get his math results and worried about his parole hearing

DECEMBER

1 December 2016 Thursday

Today is my oldest nephew’s birthday born 1968 in Artesia, California at Pioneer Hospital. Rich Butler wanted to go to lunch at East Seas for Chinese food. So I finished cleaning the kitchen and mopping the floors...It was lightly snowing all morning. I need some pep... feeling kind of lethargic. Its probably from not going to the gym for a month. Even though I just had Chinese with Bill Poore yesterday I didn’t say anything to Rich because his heart was set on East Seas. We visited a little before going out and he told me all about his Thanksgiving which didn’t seem all that spectacular because he went to relatives of Brenda’s and they weren’t much of being cooks. Bill Poore complimented me in a post on FB the other day when he said that I was raised in my Grandma’s kitchen and I cook a traditional old fashion Thanksgiving LOL. Anyway Rich said he’s going to cook a Thanksgiving meal on the 15^th his way. East Seas was good but the service is always lousy. We were the only ones there and the server never came but once to see how we were. But the food is always good. I had Szechuan pork and Rich had Shrimp and vegetables so we shared. After lunch came home and worked on Kenneth Jones’ Bowman family and took a nap before taking Coco home. I made chicken gizzards and chicken thighs for the pups and I had chilli and cornbread for supper.  I brought half the pumpkin pie that Bill brought for Thanksgiving that had been setting in my frig over to Michael’s. I had a couple of slices too for supper. I retired to bed around 7:30 and read my letter from Kyle which basically told me in more details what he told me yesterday over the phone about meeting the Lt Governor Cox and a guy from SLCC who had received his math test who just happened to be visiting the prison for a talk. Then I watched on Hulu Precinct 9, The Real Oneal’s, and Bob’s Burgers. They are my favourite shows right now. I wrote on FB I have good friends... I’ve been taken out for lunch two days in a row once by Bill Poore and today by Rich Butler... It's supposed to be up in the 40s by Saturday so hopefully the snow will melt... Rich wrote back “You deserve it Ben for all you do for others.”  I made it official by posting on Facebook that I am adopting Lulu Belle formerly Cupcake. “This little girl has adopted me and the rest of my furry family so I guess I will be adopting her this Saturday from Hearts 4 Paws...she's made a home here and I haven't had a little girl since Daisy passed away last February... Even TJ will snuggle with her... She loves to lay on her back and have me rub her belly...size wise she fits between TJ and Maxx. These three weigh less than old Buddy who will be 11 in March...” I let Michael know that I am changing her name to Lulu Belle and he liked it but I haven’t told anyone else until I adopt her.

·         T.J. Otaka Glad to know she has found a perfect permanent home.

·         Terrie Williams Is that lump in the blanket someone? Having a female will balance out the bunch

·         Charline Wachs At least your bed hogs are all little. Glad she has a good home.

·         Tracy L Johnson-Faulkner You have a beautiful family.

·         Marilyn Johnson-Faulkner Furry little love bugs.

·         Harry-It Winston Yay for little girls

·         James Dabakis Love the family updates! Keep 'em coming. Helps me forget some political stuff!

·         Charlie Ward MAZEL TOV ❤ Congratulations Ben

2 December 2016 Friday

I am so frustrated with Chuck Whyte again. He asked me to lunch the other day and I said I couldn't until today... so then he texts me if I could pick him up from LDS hospital after his appointment which would be done by 11:30 and then take him to the county building on 21^st South at to pay his condo taxes. I asked why can't you pay them by mail and he said that they are already 2 days late. He also wanted to go to Smith and then take me to lunch in Sugar House. Well at noon he said he was almost finished so I ran to Food Savers to pick up some chicken thighs for the pups dinner tonight. As I was checking out he said he was having issues and that his blood sugars had dropped while at the hospital and they won't release him until they are stable. Thinking I had plenty of time I went grocery shopping at Smiths and got some gas for $1.99 with my 20 cent discount at Smiths. Chuck called me at about 1:30 after putting my groceries away and told him I’d be there to pick him up in 15 or 20 minutes depending on traffic but since it was 2 hours after what he originally said I was not going to pay Taxes, go shopping and go to lunch.   So I am taking him down to the county building and he’s just jabbing away but when we park he looks at the bill find out that he can only pay in cash or a check in person and of course  he has neither... Well I had to drive him back home to get his check book and then back to the county building. While there he tells me not to post about going to the county building because he didn't want his brother to know he was late...I asked why and he said that they would have paid it and it's not their problem. At  that point I said why didn't you let them pay it and you could have paid them and you would have this hassle and he tells me he didn't want to bother them and at that point I said but it's ok to bother me? I was ticked off. So then when he comes out I said I don’t have time to go to lunch and shopping since it was after 2:30 by now. He wanted to go shopping so I took him to the Smith's on 5^th East and waited for him to shop. It was 3:30 when he was done. I think asking me to lunch is a just a ploy to take him to run errand since this is the 2nd time he's done this and I never get lunch. 50 million Americans eligible to vote didn't because they believed there was no difference between Hillary Clinton and Old Pussygrabber... They were too ignorant to be informed and too complacent to realize how much Obama did for this nation. The Lord of Liars is now filling his administration with sociopathic billionaires and racists and homophobes... Of those who did bother to vote Clinton won by over 2 million votes... I have little sympathy for those who lives will be altered by not voting and letting fascism enter the mainstream. I will be nearly 70 when this National Nightmare is over...if it ever gets over... I never thought I'd see the Great American Experiment end in my life time... It's a 3 Dog Night...Harleigh is upside down on the Lazy Boy in the front room and Buddy is sleeping on his blanket on the floor...Maxx, TJ, and Lulu Belle are snuggled in for the night...we are safe and warm this chilly December evening...I hope all are as well... Good night from the House of the Barking Dogs Club Fernleaf...

3 December 2016 Saturday

I went down to Petco at 3:00 with Lulu Belle to officially adopt her from Hearts 4 Paws...she is officially mine. I paid Laurie $200 for her and now she is mine. Laurie called yesterday to say she had someone interested in her finally but I said before you go any further I wanted to adopt her.  She made herself part of this family. Home from Petco where I adopted Lulu Belle...Buddy, Harleigh, Maxx, and TJ officially have a sister

·         Charline Wachs One big happy family

·         James Dabakis Is she registered? I mean as in Nordstroms, Wal Mart or Petco?

·         Jon Michael Congratulations! Couldn't be happier for you both

·         Beau Chaine' 4 is better than 1-i have 4 too!

·         Edgar Ben Williams I have 5 Buddy, Harleigh, Maxx, TJ, and Lulu Belle

·         Bill Poore Did I miss something, is that Cupcake? You are becoming like the old eccentric lady with a lot of cats except yours bark. Cup cake is one lucky puppy....but she will always be cupcake to me...I get confused.

·         Edgar Ben Williams Lulu Belle...its not that hard LOL

4 December 2016 Sunday

Lulu Belle wouldn't leave my side today ... Even wanted to be held while typing and then TJ got jealous so I had to stop and cradle both of them... Good thing I have two arms. Lulu Belle is such a sweetie having to deal with all boys. I didn't leave the house today but I made chicken soup from the broth in which I cooked the pups chicken thighs...they got the meat I got the noodles lol... I hope I don't repeat last night when my pillow knocked over a glass of water above my head on my headboard about 2:30 in the morning... No fun

·         Chuck Whyte I kept knocking everything off my night stand reaching for the phone until I moved part of it....lmao

·         Roland Ron Holmgren She should be living with my little girls!😊

·         Charlie Ward Aww! Yours is My life in a mirror.

·         Bill Poore I guess I better come out and meet this Lulu

·         Russell Pack These little babies are so grateful to be in our homes. Scooter McGrooter is still a little worried about being abandoned again even though he's been with us nearly 3 months now. You are a very good Papa, Edgar Ben.

·         Laurie Epperson Too spoiled, they love you so much.

5 December 2016 Monday

Went back to the gym after over a month when my sciatica flared up...it's still a little sore but not enough for me to use it as an excuse not to go... Not pushing it but just trying to make it a habit again...finished my paper for my talk at the Utah Stonewall Historical Society lecture series this Wednesday. Since I am having another endoscopy that day I thought better get it done...will take the chronology down to Kinkos tomorrow to make copies...I have a crock pot of pinto beans cooking and I love the smell... Been giving the dogs spearmint dental treats...their kisses smell minty now. Lulu Belle loves me I think. Lulu Belle has moved in and discovered the window chair is a pretty good place to hang out...

6 December 2016 Tuesday

Glad I got all my running around before the snow came. I had to go get copies made and they only had one guy working so I was in line 15 minutes before I got waited on and there was only one person in front of me LOL...Then went to Walmart to buy another reader and pen to see if my readings were accurate. Yikes they were... so I went to the gym did a mile and half on the treadmill and kept my pulse up to 119 for 30 miles which I think is good... Then bought some more thighs at Food Savers on sale for 88 Cents a pound ... on the way it started snowing. Its good to see Lulu Belle wrestling with both Maxx and Coco... Maxx now has two girl friends Coco and Lulu Belle. Lulu Belle curled up with TJ and HARLEIGH in his lazy boy... I guess, it’s time to get off the computer and go to bed. 40 years ago at BYU I fell in love with Larry Copenhaver who in March 1976 was hauled in by BYU Honor Code Security. His phone had been wire tapped. They made him betray any Gay people he knew at BYU but he didn't betray me. It was part of the Purge of 76... when even a music teacher arrested later killed himself. Larry came to my apartment because he had just swallowed a bottle of aspirin and wanted to see me before he died. He said if I called anyone he'd go off and die alone.. I made him go for a drive with me in my Pinto up Provo Canyon as it began to snow...When he began to pass out I flipped a U turn and headed back down into the valley and rushed him to the ER at Pioneer Valley Hospital. They pumped his stomach but they let me sit with him almost all night. BYU security came, his Branch President came but I alone stayed. He lived... but I never saw him again. BYU was the best of times and the worse of times.

Comments

·         Elbert Eugene Peck My times at BYU were somewhat of the best of my BYU times. Great, fun memories.

·         Edgar Ben Williams You were a bright spot at BYU

·         Elbert Eugene Peck I should never write while walking. What I meant to say in the above incoherent statement was that my times WITH YOU at BYU are some of my great and fun BYU memories.

·         Edgar Ben Williams I will always remember us going to interview Governor Rampton because he thought we were from the Daily Universe rather than a floor newsletter from Helaman Halls...lol ... I loved your career at 7th Street Press and Sunstone... Thanks for being a part of my youth even if you did desert me to go on a Mission 😇

·         Tom Folks He was a hottie, Ben.

·         Kevin Scott I'm sorry you went through that. I've heard some horrible BYU stories, but I have to say this is probably as bad as it could get.

·         Bill Davis You mentioned you never saw him again, but did you ever find out what happened to him?

·         Edgar Ben Williams I did see him once ten years later when I came across him in 1986 at Coronation in the old Salt Palace...we were surprised to see each other...he came up from Phoenix with his lover to attend... That was back when nearly a 1000 people would attend coming from all sorts of places... We only talked briefly not much to say especially in front of his partner... Kind of happy he had a good life and melancholy at the same time for what we went through...Edgar Ben Williams We use to go to movies at BYU and hold hands under the table in classrooms, and sit outside each other's classes waiting for us to get out...once while sitting together on the floor outside his class room I suddenly became aware of dirty looks as others passed by...I must have been beaming or something... It was so hard keeping it all hidden... Passed a lot of love notes that had to be destroyed... He sure gave me a lot of hickies ... Had to wear a turtle neck lol  Nearly having an emotional break down I was called in by my Branch President to ask why I had missed so much church because I was a genealogy Sunday school teacher... Having held all this in about Larrys suicide attempt I suddenly burst out crying and had to share what I had been through...He was very kind but said I had to have a Bishop Court...I was only disfellowshiped because my Branch Presidents father who was a stake President had been recently excommunicated... That got me kicked out of BYU but he didn't turn me into BYU until the end of the term so I wouldn't lose credit...Still BYU held up my transcript for years and getting my teachers certification. Coincidently my branch presidents father had been excommunicated for having an affair with my future wife which I wouldn't meet until 9 months later... He had lied to her and when she found out he was a stake president blew the whistle on him. She was only disfellowshiped too...both of us had been disfellowshiped on my 25th birthday... Small world back then

·         T.J. Otaka My time at BYU from late 70's to early 80's was not so distant from the Purge of 76. I must have been so naive and ignorant as I did not hear about anything of that sort. Hearing stories like this makes me mad. Nobody has the right to blackmail and destroy other people's lives so meaninglessly. Your story was horrible but a sweet one as well: young forbidden love between the two Mormon boys. Glad you are who you are today.

·         Kevin Scott I had a friend a number of years ago who went through shock therapy at BYU in that time frame. I can say that the horror of his experience even a decade later was something he carried with him and changed him as a person fundamentally. It was tragic and it made me more headstrong in opposition to the evil empire that conducted that. (And yes, I was at BYU at the end of that period, and in retrospect am *really* relieved that I didn't out myself and engaged in nothing actionable).

7 December 2016 Wednesday Pearl Harbor Day

Done with being endoscoped... good friend Rich Butler drove me across town and back with all the lunatics on the road. Two of Michael Romero's great great uncles, Juan "John F" Francisco Lewis 1896–1941 and John J "Jack" Lewis 1904–1941 were killed at Pearl Harbor. I still have a gin bottle from their niece Nora Trejo who was Michael's grandmother. My dad and his cousin JR Peacock joined the Navy and served in the South Pacific. Dad was at Saipan and at Iwo Jima The librarian at the Marmalade Branch came over and shooshed Courtney Moser and me for being too loud. Can you imagine? The Noive!...

8 December 2016 Thursday

I went to the gym today. Needed to start exercising since all I do is set at the computer doing genealogy.  The weather has turned really cold in the 20’s but no snow. I think I got a broken dog...Lulu Belle is always upside down wanting her belly rubbed... She has a green tattoo stamp so she won't be a tramp lol BBC News reported there's satellite evidence that Russia is building missile silos directed at Western Europe... but hey its not our problem right President Elect Pussygrabber... Well you stupid ass Trump voters wanted a business man to run the government...hope you enjoy having everything slashed and working for minimum wage after all got to make a profit for the CEO... Cheesy ham and potato soup for supper yeah its one of those kind of nights. I gave Michael some tomatoes from my garden. He was surprised I still had some... I picked a whole bushel of green tomatoes that are out in the cool garage slowly turning red... Want to make America Great again? Twitter needs to delete trumps account for the good of the nation...

9 December 2016 Friday

It was nice enough this afternoon for me to blow the leaves off the veranda and the hot tub deck. I wanted to get that done before the rain comes and the snow had melted. I am going to start calling my place the Good Ship Fernleaf because evidently I have a poop deck...

10 December 2016 Saturday

Rained all day today. The GOP Congress is ready to do some deep cuts to Social Security. Saddle up Blue Collar Republican Voters... perhaps white collar workers can ride this out but labor and working folks... you are screwed... There's a reason I hate Republicans and their supporters... you are NOT decent people. How ironic is it that a political party called the Republicans are not interested in protecting the Republic... Russia's president according to CIA findings helped elect the President of the United States... Traitors in our midst... This is not fake news...Russia now has an American commander in chief that won't look at Intel briefing and is poised to place a man as Secretary of State with ties to Russian banks... But do Republicans care? Where is their outrage? When Trump takes the Oath to defend and protect the Constitution of the United States impeachment should begin but it will be too late as he has put in place a cabinet who want to destroy the very positions they were appointed to administer... Fuck Obama coming after your guns...Trump is coming after your government ... Doing research on my nephew's ancestry I came across this from Virginia in 1942... It caught my attention because my nephew's family was among those trying to pass as white or Indian.

·         Local Registrars, Physicians, Health Offices, Nurses, School Superintendents, and Clerks of the Courts Dear Co-workers: Our December 1942 letter to local registrars, also mailed to the clerks, set forth the determined effort to escape from the negro race of groups of "free issues," or descendants of the "free mulattoes" of early days, so listed prior to 1865 in the United States census and various types of State records, as distinguished from slave negroes. Now that these people are playing up the advantages gained by being permitted to give "Indian" as the race of the child's parents on birth certificates, so we see the great mistake made in not stopping earlier the organized propagation of this racial falsehood. They have been using the advantage thus gained as an aid to intermarriage into the white race and to attend white schools, and now for some time they have been refusing to register with war draft boards as negroes, as required by the boards which are faithfully performing their duties. Three of these negroes from Caroline County were sentenced to prison on January 12 in the United States Court at Richmond for refusing to obey the draft law unless permitted to classify themselves as "Indians." Some of these mongrels, finding that they have been able to sneak in their birth certificates unchallenged as Indians are now making a rush to register as white. Upon investigation we find that a few local registrars have been permitting such certificates to pass through their hands unquestioned and without warning our office of the fraud. Those attempting this fraud should be warned that they are liable to a penalty of one year in the penitentiary (Section 5099a of the Code). Several clerks have likewise been actually granting them licenses to marry whites, or at least to marry amongst themselves as Indian or white. The danger of this error always confronts the clerk who does not inquire carefully as to the residence of the woman when he does not have positive information. The law is explicit that the license be issued by the clerk of the county or city in which the woman resides. To aid all of you in determining just which are the mixed families, we have made a list of their surnames by counties and cities, as complete as possible at this time. This list should be preserved by all, even by those in counties and cities not included, as these people are moving around over the State and changing race at the new place. A family has just been investigated which was always recorded as negro around Glade Springs, Washington County, but which changed to white and married as such in Roanoke County. This is going on constantly and can be prevented only by care on the part of local registrars, clerks, doctors, health workers, and school authorities. Please report all known or suspicious cases to the Bureau of Vital Statistics, giving names, ages, parents, and as much other information as possible. All certificates of these people showing "Indian" or "white" are now being rejected and returned to the physician or midwife, but local registrars hereafter must not permit them to pass their hands uncorrected or unchallenged and without a note of warning to us. One hundred and fifty thousand other mulattoes in Virginia are watching eagerly the attempt of their pseudo-Indian brethren, ready to follow in a rush when the first have made a break in the dike.

11 December 2016 Sunday

Finally cleaned up the dog poop and piss spots on my bedroom carpet. I let it go way too long…So got out the rug shampoo machine and scrubbed the carpet after changing the sheets and blankets on the bed. I just have been to lethargic. Next project has to be scrubbing the dirty floors from lots of little feet tracking in mud. Sen. Harry Reid insinuated that FBI Chief James Comey violated the Hatch Act, which prohibits “activity directed towards the success or failure” of a candidate by executive branch employees. The CIA has concluded that Russia mounted a covert intelligence operation to influence the U.S. election in an effort to help Donald Trump win the NBC News reported today. NPR reported that a bipartisan group of four senators is calling for Congress to take a closer look at allegations that Russia used cyberattacks to try to influence the American election in favor of Donald Trump. The reports should "alarm every American," said Sens. Charles Schumer, D-N.Y.; Jack Reed, D-R.I.; John McCain, R-Ariz.; and Lindsey Graham, R-S.C., in a joint statement.

12 December 2016 Monday

I wrote a letter to Kyle this morning to get if off to him this week but will probably get to him after his parole hearing. I dropped it in the mail and then went down to the gym and walked a mile and a half which is better than doing nothing. Took Bill Poore out to lunch at Ambers on 33rd and 2nd East. Hadn't eaten there in a while and use to be a regular place for me. I doubt whether anyone in there was not under 55 LOL. Still a great place. Bill ordered breakfast, ham, eggs, and pancake, and I had a cheeseburger and fries with split pea soup which was so good. We cussed Donald Trump a blue streak which was cathartic.  On the way home Michael called and said that he had had a tooth extracted that had to be broken out like I had down a year ago. I knew he would be in a lot of pain so I met him at Smith and delivered Coco to him so he wouldn’t have to go out again once he starts pounding back the pain pills. I wonder if Trump is militarizing the executive branch with putting generals as secretary of defense, homeland security and national security? If Saturday Night Live can get under Drump's skin can you imagine what will happen when China, Korea, Russia, Pakistan, Iran, and Saudi Arabia pisses him off and he's already said if we have nuclear bombs why cant we use them?

·         Dear Kyle, By the time you receive this letter you should have had your parole board hearing. I hope you received some really good news but if not I hope you realize it’s just another bump in the road. Hopefully it’s all good news. I am sure you heard from SLCC by now on your math test and the outcome is good for you. Life is nothing but hurdles but hopefully not obstacles we place in our path ourselves. I went in for another endoscopy last Wednesday and I was approved for surgery. I have one last nutrition class tomorrow before they schedule me sometime in January. I am expecting to only be in the hospital overnight.  Michael said he would come spend the night with the dogs. Speaking of dogs I adopted a new one because I was a foster failure. In middle of November I was asked to foster a little wirehair terrier female who some family surrendered saying they didn’t have time for her. She was named Cupcake and she was the sweetest little pup who just clung to me. I had her for two weeks without anyone wanting her so I decided to bring her into the family. She weighs about 10 lbs. and is between Maxx and TJ in size. I renamed her Lulu Belle and TJ and Maxx adopted her as well, playing with her and all sleeping together. All three of them don’t weigh 30 lbs. all together and they are all about the same coloring tannish blond.  They will be good companions for me after I lose Buddy in the next couple of years. He will be 11 in March and in February he will have out lived Daisy and Lucky and he even out lived poor Farley.  His hind legs are giving him trouble, probably arthritis.  Harleigh is still spry but he will be 9 in February… maybe older as I adopted him and they said he was about 8 then. I have my little Christmas Tree up and some lights on the front porch but that’s about all the Christmas I can muster this year. Happy Holidays by the way is a way to show how easily distracted right wing conservatives are by the “War on Christmas.” I’d like to say to each of them, “Face it morons, Jesus never saw a snowflake, a decorated fir tree, pretty bow wrapped presents, tinsel, chestnuts, reindeer, or a snowman in his life! What right wing Christians are fighting for is cultural superiority of western European paganism” LOL.  Jesus celebrated Passover not Christmas which he could have, being omnipresent and omniscient and all. The weather has warmed back into the 40s so we have had rain instead of snow. My floors are so dirty from twenty little feet running in and out of the doggy door, 24 if you count Coco. No sense mopping really until it dries up or it snows or that’s all I’d be doing all day.  I think I have become a genealogy addict since that’s about all I do all day working on my nephews ancestry on his father’s side. I started it last June and I want to finish it this month. Its over 300 pages because I write it as a history of each generation…kind of like Roots except mine is non fiction LOL. Just discovered that his family had “free persons of color” in his family back in the early 1800’s. Then researched some more and discovered in Appalachia there is a whole group of people called the “Melungeons” mostly living in southern Virginia, northern North Carolina and eastern Tennessee. These people claimed to be descendant from Portuguese and Native Americans when in fact DNA tests showed they were descendants of Africa fathers and European mothers.  I learned that in Colonial law the mother determined the legal status of a child. If the mother was a black slave the children would be slaves. If the mother was white the children would be free. If the father was black the children would be “Free people of color”. They were also called Mulattoes. These free persons of color are documented as migrating with European-American neighbors in the first half of the 18th century to the frontiers of western Virginia and North Carolina, where they received land grants like their neighbors. They also took Native Americans as mates and some Melungeons were tri-racial, Africa, European, and Native American.  When the stigma of African heritage precluded people from certain rights, the idea that the darker skin southerners were of Iberian or Portuguese and Indian descent. In the 19^th century in Tennessee and Virginia, if a free person was mostly white (one-eighth or less black), he was considered legally white and a citizen of the state.  When census records became to include race those who married white folks were enumerated as white and those who married other mulattoes or blacks were listed as mulatto. Contemporary accounts documented that Melungeons were considered to be white or mixed race by appearance. During the 18th and early 19th centuries, census enumerators designated them as "mulatto", "other free", or as "free persons of color". Sometimes they were listed as "white", sometimes as "black" or "negro", but almost never as "Indian". In the 2012 summary of the Melungeon Core DNA Testing Program, it was documented that one out of two of those identified Melungeon participants had historically verifiable Native American origins. It was only after the Civil War and especially in the early 20^th Century when the Eugenics faux science was fashionable that laws were enacted to disenfranchise African Americans of mixed race. The one drop of “negro” blood rule went into effect that if you had any mixed blood you could not be legally be considered white. The except was made that you could have 1/16 Indian blood which was called the Pocahontas Exception because so many of the Virginia aristocracy were descendants of her and John Rolf.  The one drop of “negro blood” also was a policy of the Mormon Church keeping certain males from their priesthood. In fact I located a document from 1942 from Virginia’s Office of State Registrar of Vital Statistics warning County registrars that mixed race people were trying to pass as white or Indian and that would violate Virginia’s Miscegenation Laws forbidding interracial marriages. Registrars were to not put white on a birth certificate without proof and they were sent a list of family names from every county in Virginia of families “striving to pass as Indian and/or white.” My nephews ancestors names showed up on this list.  Talk about racial profiling! Doesn’t this sound like what the Nazis did to the Jews? You could not be an Aryan with a drop of Jewish blood. Some of my nephews relatives married white women and some married “colored” women and so some cousins were considered white and others mulatto but eventually most as time went on were known as Melungeons, southerners considered white but with darker skin and black eyes and black straight hair. I only investigated this because his ancestors left Washington County, Virginia in around 1831 to Indiana and later Wisconsin which was an odd migration pattern. Then when I realized that the Nate Turner slave rebellion occurred in 1831 and was just  about 75 miles east of Washington County, that increased racial tensions between whites and non whites. More restrictive laws were being placed on non whites and some even registered their status as free people of color as not to be enslaved.  So his family probably crossed the Ohio River into Free Territory so as to never have to worry about racial profiling as that they could pass as “white people.”  Few people realized how many white slaves there were from white men having offspring with mulatto slave mothers. Many slaves with blue eyes and fair skinned were seen on plantations and farms although the South. Race has always been the curse of America, based on viewing “inferior” people as property.  It’s not gone away. Crackers here in America fear Muslims not so much because of their religion bit as that they are not “white”.  In many ways America was always a white supremacist country as we never assimilated Native Americans into ourselves as did the Spanish.  Oh well when we all get to the celestial kingdom we will be white and delightsome like Aryan Jesus. That’s about all that is new with me. So far so good. I haven’t had any sickness all year, no colds or no flues but then I rarely go out into crowds. I attend my history lecture series once a month and have a few people over for movie night or dinner but that’s about it. I guess you are as sick as I am over President Elect Pussygrabber’s Cabinet picks of billionaires and generals who oppose the very purposes of the cabinets they will be in charge of running.  Make America 2^nd Rate Again should have been his campaign promise and then that is a promise he could keep. This Twitter In Chief uses Tweets to go after his perceived enemies. He was mad at the CEO of Boeing and tweeted he was stupid and Boeing stocks lost 1.5 billion dollars! He spends his time tweeting about Saturday Night Live, newspaper reporters, and anyone else that he feels hasn’t deferred enough to him. For 8 years right wing assholes criticized President Obama and not once did he tweet about them but just went on trying to do the best for this nation instead of salving his ego. I have little hope that the Electors will not keep him out of office, nor will public outrage over Russian interference in the election will be enough to deny him the presidency. Then he could have gone back to being the full time executive producer of Celebrity Apprentice without the annoying job of being president of the American Republic. Unbelievable that he’s keeping that job while President and that his staff says he will do it in his spare time. I guess he will make time by skipping intel briefing. Russia's president Putin, according to CIA findings, helped elect the President of the United States. Talk about treason.  This is not fake news...Russia now has an American  commander in chief that won't look at Intel briefing because he “has a good brain” and is poised to place a man as Secretary of State an Exxon CEO with ties to Russian banks for $500 billion and who was given Russia’s highest medal of honor by Putin himself... But do Republicans care? Where is their outrage? Not from Orrin Hatch or Jason Chaffetz who is still too busy smearing Hillary Clinton. We have a Manchurian Candidate and no one seems to care. How ironic that a party called the Republicans are failing to protect the Republic! At least Sen John McCain and Lindsey Graham are looking into the matter.  I guess the CIA said that Mitchell McConnell knew about the Russian involvement in the election and covered it up. His wife was then rewarded with a cabinet post!  Quid pro quo Treason! When Trump takes the Oath to defend and protect the Constitution of the United States, impeachment proceedings should begin immediately but it will be too late as he will have already put in place a cabinet who want to destroy the very positions they were appointed to administer... Fuck Obama coming after guns...Trump is coming after our government  and a third of stupid Americans still believe he’s going to bring back manufacturing jobs, build a wall, put Hillary in jail, register Muslims when in fact he’s already reneging on all those campaign promises... And don’t get me started on the Republican Congress with Paul Ryan itching to make major cuts to Social Security, Medicare, and the affordable care act. Saddle up Blue Collar Republican Voters... perhaps white collar workers can ride this out but labor and working folks... you are screwed... There's a reason I hate Republicans and their supporters... They are NOT decent moral people and certainly not Christian no matter how palatial are their houses of worship.  As I always was and will be Your Friend Ben

13  December 2016 Tuesday

Working still on the Jones genealogy. Did go to the University Hospital basically for no reason. I sat in on a nutrition class which was notified about only to realize that I only had to do 3 an this was my 4^th one.

14 December 2016 Wednesday

On this rainy evening I had a pot roast with carrots, mashed potatoes and gravy and minestrone soup. I wanted Bill Poore to come over but he was tired. I usually never fix a full meal for myself but I guess I will have hot roast beef sandwiches tomorrow. I also made two loaves of banana nut bread...I also finally mopped my floors...they were so muddy from last week and had pee spots ...it was a chore...but I thought it's easy to go from messy to squalor if you let things go too long... Now it's rainy again so I expect little feet prints tomorrow... Coco is spending the night and Buddy has been kissing her like for an hour lol U.S. intelligence officials now believe with "a high level of confidence" that Russian President Vladimir Putin became personally involved in the covert Russian campaign to interfere in the U.S. presidential election, senior U.S. intelligence officials told NBC News. We are in deep shit if even Fox News is calling out the Siberian Candidate for his lies about Russian interference in the election...

15 December 2016 Thursday

It makes my mornings brighter by watching my little guys playing and being a family... Lulu Belle is completely part of the pack now more so then stand offish Harleigh and grumpy old man Buddy lol I got a  phone call from Kyle Foote this evening to tell me how his parole hearing went. He was so excited that they recommended parole but didn’t give him a release date. He also passed his math test which was the only thing in his way of getting a Associate of Arts degree from SLCC. Well this will change things for me and among my friends many who do not know that I have been in communication with Kyle for the past 4 years and that he’s going to come back here to live. I sent him $75 for Christmas.   I need to process this some more. I started cleaning the movie room and put away all the Christmas stuff I had pulled out but got de tracked watching Scrooge. Is it not Christmas for me if I don't watch Albert Finney's Scrooge and National lampoon Christmas Vacation...also Charlie Brown Christmas and Boris Karloff the Grinch Who Stole Christmas... I made Michael Romeros Aunt Rose Whiskey Balls today for the Movie Night this Saturday......they have a kick so if abstinent stay far away... It's a Rawlings Wyoming recipe so you know they will make you drop to your knees. Today was the 50th anniversary of Walt Disney's death and I don't recall anyone marking the occasion... I was a sophomore in high school when I heard the news and it was like a member of the family had died...Grew up watching him introduce his various TV shows...I was of the Mickey Mouse Club generation... And since I only lived a couple of miles from Disneyland he was almost like a family member... 50 years... Wow

16 December 2016 Friday

It’s a dark and gloomy afternoon with rain, sleet, and slush. However this morning it was really windy but with blue skies so I went down to 72nd to the Barber College at 11 am. I was disappointed that they gave me a woman to cut my hair and beard. If I wanted a woman I’d gone to a salon. I want a man fussy over me but she did a good job. When I got out of the Barber College a squall was blowing in with snow pellets and slush. The freeway was such a mess that I got off at 33rd South and came up 9th West. However at 17th South the traffic light was out and moronic Utah drivers couldn't figure how to do a four stop...People kept zooming through. At home I noticed the power had gone off and as I sat down to type the power went out again. I think we will have rolling black outs so nervous about typing. Well I am safe at home where its warm, there's food in the kitchen, and I am surrounded by sleeping pups. Life is good right now but that can change on a dime... I am sure people in Aleppo thought life was good 5 years ago and now they are living in ruins and carnage thanks to Russia's bunker busters and war criminal Assad. I made a Mince meat pie with a lattice crust for the party tomorrow My house smells delicious this evening!  I also baked corn bread for some dressing...one way to keep warm on a 16 degree night is to turn on the oven lol I once had a friend, Troy Lunt  who said he only turned the stove on to light his cigarettes

17 December 2016 Saturday

Busy but fun day with my December Dinner a Movie Night. Alan Anderson, Michael Romero, Greg Allen, Jay Vallar, their  two friends from Evanston, Wyoming, Kent Scadlock, Dennis Lee, TJ Otaka, Jim McMillan, George Bigo and Richard Harmston came. With me we had 13 people here.  On the menu was Savory pork loin, Apple corn bread dressing, glazed sweet potatoes, bacon and green beans, corn and red bell peppers for Alan Anderson... Mince meat pie, whisky balls, and banana bread.  It was fun evening though had to change t movie we watched because the VCR wasn’t working and Jeffrey was just on Tape. So we watched 1995 Stonewall.  Party lasted until about 10.  Kent said that Charles Frost had officially resigned and Dennis Lee had taken his place. All my furry babes are exhausted and are zoned out... Company wears them out lol

·         Kent McKay Scadlock Thanks Edgar Ben for a lovely evening! You're the BEST!!

·         Charles Bigo Ben, you are a fantastic friend. I only wish I had gotten to meet and enjoy your friendship earlier on in life. The food was great! And the dogs were well behaved and appreciated too!

·         Richard Harmston Thanks, Ben, for your exemplary hospitality! Friends gathering during the holidays make it all worth while.

·         Alan Anderson Great food. Great company, even with Kent!

·         Kent McKay Scadlock You love me, Alan! You know you do! 😘

·         T.J. Otaka Ben, Thank you so much for a wonderful evening. We really enjoyed every minute of it. You are a great guy. I am glad that I was finally able to meet Lulu Belle and all your pups and Coco.

18 December 2016 Sunday

Must have been a cold cold night because Lulu Belle curled up in my arms under the blanket and slept there all night...she never did that before had to share my belly heat lol I made a cozy nest next to my bed for Harleigh but guess whose big old butt has been in it all afternoon? Been cooking today making chicken dressing casserole for the Christmas Casserole Carnival pot luck at the 1st Baptist Church tonight... I am looking forward to seeing friends before Christmas....I took a  three hour nap this afternoon My red squirrel is back looking for food so been putting out sunflower seeds...Lulu Belle isn't quite sure what to think...Zsa Zsa Gabor died today at the age of 99. I was not much of a fan of hers.

·         Bill Poore-Did you close the doggie door last night? No wonder your house is cold...I wished I had someone to take care of me as well as you do those puppies. Of course they do love you back in spades.

·         Richard Harmston Even when you're sleep, you give comfort to others--in this case, your sweet dogs. I guess that's where expressions like, "You lucky dog!" come from.

19 December 2016 Monday

I made a cozy nest next to my bed for Harleigh but guess whose big old butt has been in it all afternoon? Been cooking today making chicken dressing casserole for the Christmas Casserole Carnival pot luck at the 1st Baptist Church tonight... I am looking forward to seeing friends before Christmas.... Tonight was the Gay Men Aloud and Men Who Move combined Christmas Casserole Carnival at the 1st Baptist Church. I made diced chicken gravy and dressing and brought the remaining banana nut bread and whiskey Balls. Chuck Whyte wanted me to pick him up in from of Smith’s downtown and I told him that he better be right out front at 6 or I am leaving without him. It gets old him trying to multitask on my time especially when I have hot food I want to keep hot. Well he surprisingly was on time so I must have put the fear of God in him. The Pot Luck started at 630 and Kent and his new co director Dennis Lee did a bang up job with set up. There was plenty of food and while only about 7 or 8 people showed from Men Who Move we had about 20 people from Gay Men Aloud. Terry Gillman was there as the support from Men Who Move.  I was shocked to hear that the reason Charles Frost resigned is because he and Doug Lott are getting a divorce! They had been together I think 15 years and were legally married in 2013 when Gay Marriage was legalized. What a shocker…but kind of not surprising. Charles was turning into a mean alcoholic and was seeing a therapist. I hate to see anyone split up but I   really don’t have any feelings for him anymore. It was a cold night and good to see so many of my friends there.  Think the negative energy of Charles’ sycophants will be gone now that Charles isn’t the star. Well the party of treason officially elected Donald Trump as President of the United States and a Turk assassinated the Ambassador of Russia to Turkey on TV. Well it's a fact now that Mormons will vote for any traitorous sociopath libertine if he has an R behind his name... They have no sense of what is morally right .... It's all about power

20 December 2016 Tuesday

Rich Butler wanted to go out to lunch today and suggested Charlie Chows downtown... Szechwan Pork was delicious but the Mongolian BBQ wasn't up to snuff... First time wasn't happy with the service.  I bought him lunch for all he does for me and gave him some banana nut bread that he loved. We then took a chance and went to Costco in Bountiful which surprisingly wasn't packed... I wanted pecans and Rich wanted some butterball Turkey Breasts... When I took Coco home Mike said that they officially got his niece off as executor of his father’s will and that what she hasn’t stolen will be divided just between him and his brother John. Mormons voted in droves for a man who is inimical to every thing supposedly they believe in and hated a man who was a faithful husband and family man who spent most of his life in service to others... I wonder why that is. The Traitors Party's new slogan Government By Billionaires, of Billionaires, for Billionaires...The American Oligarchy Empire delivered to you by the racists, the ignorant, the Elmer Gantries and don't forget Uncle Putin

21 December 2016 Wednesday

Bill Poore came over today bearing gifts for Yuletide/Christmas...among other things like neck scarves, and lap blankets for the hounds he brought me a figurine of a Blue Wolf... I gave him a platter of banana nut bread and blueberry lemon pound cake squares and chicken and noodle soup... After going through a selection of nice shoes he brought over from his brother we went to Ambers Restaurant again for lunch.  We kind of are over ethnic cuisine for a while and a Patty Melt and onion rings sounded good... So had a nice day but later when I was reading my emails my heart sank when I saw that the Board of Pardons set Kyle’s release date at 3 December 2019! I wanted to burst into tears. Kyle called from Prison at 6 pm and he was more upbeat about the news than I was. I was hoping to see soon may be evening this January. Bill Poore and I had picked out shoes for him of the ones he brought over. Three more years! I could be dead by then... you can't always get what you want but you get what you need. Ten more days and this year of sorrows and disappointments will be over... I will not be wishing anyone a happy new year as how can it be with the Republican coup in power. Derek Kitchen, our city councilman got a threatening email and called fag by someone disgruntled over the placement of the new homeless shelters. This Billionaire Junta was perpetuated by a far right coup to overthrow American Democracy aided and abetted by traitors in the Republican Party, Fox News, and a foreign despotic power Russia... We now have one party rule like a 3rd rate country who will rig the system like Utah did to never give up power.  The white working class knew that Donald Trump was a lying snake and when they get bitten they only have themselves to blame as they are the ones who brought him to their bosom. Trump has been a despot all his life, lied, conned, stole, bullied, swindled, and yet this despicable human being is the face of America. I am grateful that the majority of the World War II generation is dead and not here to see their sacrifice was for naught...

22 December 2016 Thursday

Went to the gym today to walk 2 miles and get my heart rate up...It just does not come natural to me and I get no endorphin rush either which is suppose to be a pay off. Bull shit. I am over Christmas too...taking everything down. The bad news about Kyle’s parole date just took the joy out of the season for me... I know its nothing tragic just enough to say I am done with this year.  Driving around and seeing homeless people I have to be grateful that Kyle is safe and warm for the next three years. I got a letter from Kathy Jasperson who was my aid for several years at Washington Elementary so I wrote her back

·         Me to Jim Dabakis I am so frustrated by the penal system. Its certainly not a correctional facility. Kyle had his parole hearing December 15th and everything went great. He showed them he got an AA while in prison, a culinary degree, had letters of achievement, good evaluations, had support when released and we were so hopeful that he might be released this January or February. He had done 3 times as much jail time as the state matrix said he should do for his crime. Then the other day I get a message from the Board of Pardon that his release day would be 3 December 2019! Three more years!  The state is going to pay $100,000 to keep him locked up three more years when his was a white collar crime, no violence, sex offender, or drugs. He could be out making restitution and he has support and a home to go to. I don't understand their rational...Its like a kick in the stomach to say yes everything looks great and we recommend parole and then the Board Pardons comes back and says in 3 more years. Its really knocked the wind out of my sails about him helping me as I am getting older... He's been there 5 years. 3 more is just going to make it that much harder not to become institutionalized and integrate back into society at 40 then 37. He will have been locked up 8 years when he gets out and I am wearing down and just don't have the energy to be driving down to Gunnison once a month to make sure he's not just rotting away in prison forgotten. Oh well thanks for letting me vent...I just wish I knew the rational then at least I would see the reasoning... but they don't give a reason. They don't have to... I know Kyle deserves to be in prison for what he did to people betraying their trust and stealing from them but I truly think Kyle has reformed... but why isn't their time off for good behavior?

·         James Dabakis Hummmmm. Has he been a problem in prison? Involved in any incidents? Or has he been a model prisoner? What was his exact sentence by the judge? I will get involved with this....but I need to know the good, the bad and the ugly!

·         Edgar Ben Williams He had only one write up when he mixed his anxiety pills in another bottle and he paid a fine for that...that was over 2 years ago...other wise no discipline problems, he's worked in helping students in ESL, he took a culinary class and helped write the tests, he worked with officer Warnock to get his math test taken for SLCC ... As far as I know he's been a model prisoner and worked bringing speakers down like LT Gov Cox ... I have two binders of letters he's written and certificates he's achieved. He's even participated in sporting events...in fact he just was given a pizza party and ice cream party for his participation in programs... So I don't no the reasoning behind keeping him locked up for another 3 years... 1 maybe but 3 when he then will have served 7 times what the legislative matrix is for his crime... His exact sentence as I recall was 2 sentences ... 1-5 and 1-16... I will go through his papers tomorrow... I appreciate what ever you can do...

·         James Dabakis I will take this on. WTF, if I can't do some good---why am I there. Explain to me how more years help the victims, taxpayers or Kyle? Maybe they need reservations for the new prison?

·         Edgar Ben Williams You would think with the addition going on in Gunnison they might want to get non violent offenders out where they can start paying the debt rather than just making them stay in prison longer when they had been recommended for parole at their hearing...and were so positive about how Kyle was remorseful and wants to turn his life around...

·         James Dabakis I will set up a meeting with Parole Board. Maybe you can come along.

·         Edgar Ben Williams I would be happy to do so...

·         Dear Kathy, I got your Christmas card and letter yesterday. That was so thoughtful of you to remember me with a card.  Your kindness always amazes me. I hope you are having a nice holiday season. As a teacher for 28 years we marked the time by putting up and taking down, Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas themes. It was always such a big deal for the kids.         The last day of school, this last June, I went up to see Jeny Petersen and Camille Merriwether.  I hadn’t been back to Washington since I had retired. It was good catching up with her and hearing that she was finally transferring schools. I forget which one she is going to but I think still there in Bountiful. I think the requirements for a Title 1 school was stressing her out way to much and I guess the new principal was pretty demanding.  Camille said she is only going to be teaching a few more years so she is sticking it out but I think the joy had gone out of it for her since she is so restricted on the fun activities she use to do with the kids. I was surprised that Carol Grey had returned as a reading specialist.        I also heard the office staff is all moving on too so soon there won’t be anyone still there that remembers old Mr. Williams. But I don’t miss it at all. When I was done I was done and I have no regrets retiring when I did. The only thing I think is amazing, is how often I dream about school. Must be in my deep subconscious after so many years. I had lousy luck with my garden also. I think it was because it was so hot. My tomatoes did not start producing until September and when I tore the plants out in early November I had a bushel of green tomatoes. They are out in the garage and I go out there periodical and get a few that have turned.  I tried growing summer squash and while I am usually harvesting in July it was also in late August that I got a few. My pumpkins didn’t produce a thing. It was a strange year. It’s a good thing I just do it to fool with and do not have to rely on them. I am glad you ran into those kids. I bet they were glad to see you.  I was up at the U of U hospital for an endoscopy last September and this technician came in and she said “are you Mr Williams who use to teach at Orchard?” And then I immediately recognized her as Emily Astil that I taught over 25 years ago. I also taught her brother. She was married had a family and a good career. She was surprised that I remembered her but give me a minute and I usually can recall them. But that was a fun coincidence.           My doctor convinced me to have bariatric surgery, not so much to lose weight as much as to put my diabetes in remission. I was going to do this 5 years ago but chickened out but now that I am retired I think I can handle the drastic change in eating especially if it gets me off insulin and helps with the diabetes as I am getting older. I turned 65 last April so I am on Medicare now instead of the schools insurance. Health wise I am doing well. I have not had a single cold or flu since leaving teaching.  I keep myself busy with keeping up a house, yard, and gardening. I too have been doing a lot of genealogy. My nephew’s wife asked if I knew anything about his Jones side of the family.  His father married my sister. So I said I’d find out. Well six months later and 340 pages of information I am almost done. I do a good 8 hours most days researching and writing up each generation in a historical narrative. What I like is that I learn so much about history by investigating the times and places they lived. Just finished connecting my nephew to two Mayflower ancestors. He married a woman who is half Argentine and Mexican heritage so if my grandnephews are given any crap about going back to Mexico they can say their ancestors came over on the Mayflower. LOL This year has been tough on losing my animal companions.  I lost three Schnauzers this year.  Two within two weeks of each other and a third I just had for 4 months.  One was Daisy who I had for 10 years and Lucky I had adopted 3 years ago. So I adopted an older rescue Schnauzer that needed a home I named Harley. I decided to be a foster family for an animal rescue group called Hearts 4 Paws… I took in a little Chihuahua Mix that was such a good dog that I ended up adopting him. His name is Maxx. About 3 weeks later I was asked if I could foster a little 5 lb. Chihuahua. I thought sure because I wouldn’t get attached to a Chihuahua but I did. He doesn’t bark or be snappy or hyper like I always thought Chihuahua are. He just wants to be held by everyone who comes over. So I adopted him. I thought what’s 5 lbs.? So I had 4 dogs, 10 year old Buddy that I had since a pup, 8 year old Harley who was given to a shelter, and Maxx and TJ. Then I was called by Hearts 4 Paws and said the pound had a stray Schnauzer who had been out on the streets and needed a foster. I said sure and when I got there Laurie comes out with two very matted dogs and she said the shelter asked her when she came to pick up the one dog if she wanted his “brother” too. How could you take one and leave the other behind.  So in April I was fostering two very mangy and scared little guys. It took about 3 days for them to trust me.  I had a friend who is a groomer come and give them Schnauzer cuts. I bet they hadn’t been groomed in a year or more they were so matted. One was a young maybe year old dog the other was more like 8.  The young one had such beautiful markings and after showing him on Fox news he was adopted by a wonderful family.  However the old one I knew would have trouble finding a home and he became very attached to me. He would cry and whimper when I’d come home. Hug my leg and I’d have to sit with him to calm him down. I just could not traumatize him anymore so I adopted him and named him Farley. Had his teeth cleaned and examined by a vet. I had him all spring and summer and at the first of August he died from diabetes. Nearly broke my heart but was grateful I gave him a home.  So it was a rough year losing three critters, but I still had the four who depend on me and are good company.  I told Hearts 4 Paws that I didn’t want to foster anymore because I was so upset over losing Farley but this last November I thought for Farley, Daisy, and Lucky’s sake I should foster again. So I fostered a cute little guy and found him a really good home within a week. I fostered again a little 5 year old female wire haired Terrier that owners had given up because they didn’t have time for her. However the TJ and Maxx just fell in love with her and played and played with her and she made herself quickly a part of the family so I adopted her and named her Lulu Belle.  My friends said they are going to have an intervention if I  adopt anymore dogs… LOL.  But they are all small under 20 lbs. and get along so well and I have a doggy door and a big yard for them. I know I will lose Buddy within the next two years if not sooner. Daisy was his litter mate and died last February.  When they go down hill they go pretty fast. He will be 11 in March and for Schnauzers that pretty old. Same with Harley. I adopted him when he was 8 to give him a good home until he passes. These little guys I adopted will be my last dogs. They are 5, 3, and 2. I don’t want to have dogs that out live me.  But I am in fairly good health, having surgery so my health will be even be better, keep mentally active and the pups keep me on a schedule and are great entertainment with their antics. Tell Carma hi when you see her and that I am enjoying my retirement and am having a good life.  I miss Liz Beck, Jeny, Camille, you and Carma but I don’t miss teaching anymore. It was time to move on to a new phase. I have clubs I belong to, do a monthly lecture series, have people over for dinner and movies. So I am plenty busy but selectively so.             Thanks again for the card and letter. I hope you had a wonderful Christmas and Holiday Season. Your friend  Edd Williams

23 December 2016 Friday

I had wanted to go out with Bill Poore and see the downtown Christmas Lights and then maybe go out for coffee and pie but he had other plans so stayed home and watched Charlie Brown Christmas with the pups and the Maltese Falcon. It is one of my all time favorite movies and was as Gay as could be when it came out in 1941 with all its hidden code words... Peter Lorre with his Gardenia scented calling cards, and fighting Mary Astor over a boy from Istanbul and then Elisha Cook Jr being called "gunzel", which is a slang term for a submissive bottom to an older gay man. Sydney Greenstreet who says you can always get another son but there's only one Maltese Falcon. Its a Gay Masterpiece. And oh my gosh Mary Astor as one of the greatest fem fatale of all times. Notice Peter Lorre's oral fixation LOL. Glad I stayed home because I can tell Lulu Belle isn’t feeling well.  She wouldn’t eat her supper and was sleeping by herself most of the day.

24 December 2016 Saturday Christmas Eve

I bought some new toys and Chewies for the pups tomorrow and gathered all the toys scattered outside and threw them in the washer and they will think they are all new for Christmas lol .... I blew the leaves off the deck and straightened up around the hot tub because a storm was predicted for tonight. Put away everything but the Christmas tree from the front room and I made Mexican Taco Soup, and Lima beans and ham soup... Perfect for this rainy evening ...it's only 4:30 and it's dark outside from the rain clouds.... Storm suppose to blow in tonight and 5 to 6 inches of snow in the valley by tomorrow.... So may have snow for Christmas.... I've got 4 dogs on the bed sound asleep because of the rain. I am having a Humphrey Bogart Christmas... I watched The Maltese Falcon last night. I watched Casa Blanca today and tomorrow I will watch the African Queen. Casablanca is one of the greatest movies ever made and this evening I am snuggled up in bed with my pups...Poor old Lulu Belle is under the weather… she isn't feeling well poor girl...must have caught a bug...here's looking at you kid. I've always preferred Christmas Eve to Christmas Day because on Christmas Eve we would always spend it at my Grandparent Williams house...Texas chili was making the house smell terrific and there would be many different kinds of home made pies, pecan, chocolate, banana. Aunt Bonnie always made her rice Krispie treats...usually all the cousins were there...the men in one room making small talk and the women in the kitchen where all the good smells were. Grandma always had a live tree decorated in tinsel Christmas lights, and shiny ornaments. She always had a nativity scene out too and I think I was the only one fascinated by it. I don't remember one gift I ever received but I remember the feelings. It felt like family. It felt like love. It felt like Christmas... My favorite Christmas memory is from 1962 when my Johnson Grandparents came out from Texas to visit. As tradition dictated on Christmas Eve we went to my dad's folks for Texas Chili and to open presents. My grandma Johnson was happy watching everyone unwrapping a present and then I noticed my Grandma Williams slip away...when she came back another gift was under the tree addressed to my Grandma Johnson...she was so surprised... It was some knickknack that grandma Williams took from a shelf and wrapped it so my other grandma would have a gift to open... I doubt whether anyone else noticed what my grandma Williams did but I saw it and will always remember it... It made me realize I came from good people even when I was only 11.

25 December 2016 Sunday Christmas Day

The pups let me sleep in until 7:15 this Christmas morning before demanding their morning treats of hot dogs and cheese. Yesterday Lulu Belle wouldn't eat all day even her supper of chicken thighs and gizzards...she slept all day curled up and all night...I gave her drops of water to keep her hydrated last night but didn't want to force food on her...this morning while still not perky she ate a bit. I gave her cream cheese that she could swallow to stimulate her appetite then she ate some cut up hot dogs...glad she ate and drank water on her own...you can really tell when she's not well...her bright button eyes are like a squint... So I got my Christmas wish ... Lulu Belle is feeling better and playing with Maxx. My bad boy TJ is keeping his sister Lulu Belle company while she is under the weather....he can be such a good boy.   I woke up to an old fashion lake effect Christmas blizzard but we are safe and warm and eating waffles and ham...Lulu Belle got her appetite back for Christmas ham. I spent much of the day watching movies in bed with the pups because I was pretty well socked in from this morning storm. Lake effect snow out in the Northern River District... I measured it...11 1/2 inches and still snowing lightly...so I put on my snowy hoodie put on my big boy panties and snow boots and shoveled a path down the steps of the deck so TJ could see over the snow line...cleared a path way to the yard that is up to Buddy's chest...I've got my mop bucket out because I know some pups who won't even be able to lift their leg in the snow...after the backyard went and did the front drive way and front porch...an hour and a half later I am done...what a work out...at least my vehicles are in the garage... Streets still not plowed and I know even if I attempted to go my Cruiser would get high ended... I was invited to two Xmas parties today, dinner with TJ and Jim down in Day Break and over to Kevin Scott just about two miles from my house but think I stayed home instead, shoveling the drive way and not taking a chance on the street...Bill Poore gave us a ham so we are burrowed in for the duration.  Its my first Christmas without Daisy 10 years. Last year I just had Buddy, Daisy, and Lucky for Christmas but now I have not only Buddy but also Harleigh, Maxx, TJ and Lulu Belle. Its their 1st Christmas with me and Harleigh thinks all the toys are for him. He was grabbing them as quickly as I could pull them out of the sack. He was so excited. The other pups not so much. I watched “How the Grinch Stole Christmas” which is 50 years old this morning. It was released December 18, 1966... Color TV was just becoming affordable and lots of TV programs were still shot in B&W...the Grinch was made for color television with its constantly changing color background which was part of its magic. I loved it at 15 and still do at 65... Played it 28 years for my students... Walt Disney had died just 3 days before who show cased The Wonderful World of Color... Our first color TV had these big color tubes in the back, blue red and green.... Never understood why green and not yellow... Singer and 1980’s icon George Michaels died in London at age of 53.  All his charitable works that were kept hidden are now coming to light.

26 December 2016 Monday

Only ventured out once today and had to bust through the wall of snow pushed into my driveway by the snowplows but I made it...the store was absolutely a mad house... But I managed to buy treats for the dogs and me...came home and got the snow shovel and threw all the snow onto the middle of the street where it will melt fasten then frozen in my driveway entrance... Lulu Belle is about well again. I think she had a cold bug as she was sneezing a lot yesterday and this morning...took most of the morning just to clean my kitchen...I think my kitchen gets used too much lol...Spent much of the day catching up with my journal. Christmas night 2004 the power went off as a huge snow storm hit Salt Lake City...the foreign owners of the power company to save money hadn't been trimming branches which broke under the weight of the storm...the entire city was without power. We woke to a dark cold house...as soon as it was light I bundled up and started to dig out the 18 inches of snow on the porch and driveway....then Michael came out and said my mom was on the phone and I needed to come talk immediately. That is how I learned my father had died that morning in California...however the airport was shut down and roads closed... I sat for two days without power thinking I needed to be home for my mom but couldn't. finally on the 3rd day my neighbor who worked for Jet Blue got me out of SLC... My personal grief over shadowed the news of the 2004 Tsunami that left 100s of thousand dead in South East Asia...one of the worse disasters in history...Because of the holidays we had to wait to bury dad January 2 2005. It all seems like a dream not. No illness, no accident, Dad went out to get his morning paper, came back into the house and was dead before he hit the floor...My mother discovered her husband of 58 years on the kitchen floor...except for the shock it was a blessing he went that way...on Christmas Day he spoke to all his brothers one last time.

27 December 2016 Tuesday

Had to go to Midvale this afternoon to pick up a Cpap machine for sleep apnea...tried it 17 years ago and hated it... The new technology is suppose to be better...We will see...Michael had to come get Coco because his street is not ploughed and my Cruiser would have gotten stuck...I gave him a platter of “transginger person cookies” I made and some Christmas Ham. After feeding the dogs I met with Seth Anderson and Chad Anderson (no relation lol) to discuss a history project, a documentary on Gordon Church that Chad is excited about. We met for Coffee at Mestizo on North Temple...talking history is about all that get me out of my cave at night...I love a salon type discussion of intelligencia... With my favorite Stonewall 2 generation of historians...Carrie Fisher died today after having a heart attack on a flight back to LA from London a couple of days ago. Carrie Fishers beloved French Bull dog Gary will be taken care of by her daughter Billie Lourd....he's grieving too with his mama not coming home... People are heartbroken about Princess Leia.

·         James Connelley So tired of 2016 but can't bear the thought of 2017.

·         Richard P. Butler R.I.P. Carrie

·         Bill Poore I worked with Carrie for four days on the film "When Harry Met Sally" I mean I was part of a very large cast at the wedding and New Years Party. I did ride in an elevator with her and Meg Ryan they were both sweet. RIP dear lady. She was really nice.

28 December 2016 Wednesday

Today is Seth Anderson’s 34^th birthday. Went to lunch downtown with Bill Poore at Chuck A Rama today...the streets were dry just slushy in spots. Still wary of going out and about with Utah drivers likely to do crazy stuff when you least expect it. Took my Christmas tree down today and cleaned and mopped the living room. I had taken all the Christmassy stuff down already but even a small tree is a pain to take everything off. I should have stuffed it in the trash can and just bought another next year lol. I was getting the house clean because Bill said he was coming over here at 12:30 but he called and said just to meet downtown. Came home  so all housecleaning came to a stop. I’ve Noticed that gas is $1.99 in this part of town. In the evening Kyle called and we spoke about what the Board of Pardons did to him. He said even the officers there said the Board kicked him in the nuts. He’s going to stay positive. I told him about speaking to Jim but didn’t want to get his hopes up. President Obama gave a big Fuck You to Utah's Republican fossil fuel and land developers bootlickers who were in cahoots to destroy Bears Ear.. Thank You President Obama for protecting Utah from the gluttony of ravenous rapacious Republicans. “Hollywood legend Debbie Reynolds dead at 84; passes one day after death of daughter Carrie Fisher.” All that is on Facebook is the death of Debbie Reynolds following the death of her daughter Carrie Fisher yesterday. I was very fortunate to meet Debbie Reynolds at Jim Dabakis 60th birthday party...so heart breaking... Mother and daughter together .... Liz Taylor, Eddie Fisher, and Debbie Reynolds...icons of Hollywood ...

·         Edgar Ben Williams to Jim Dabakis I have tickets to Taylor Mac Saturday January 14 at 7:30 if you would like to go... I never heard of him but Michael Aaron gave me two tickets... If you don't want to go do you know some deserving young people who might want them and I will give them to you

·         James Dabakis Looked him up and I would like to go. But I am committed to giving a speech that night. Do you want me to ask around on tickets. I am sure you can find someone. I googled him and he looks like a lot of fun!

·          Edgar Ben Williams If you have young interns or know someone who is young and hip I would like them to have the tickets... I just wanted to have something for you after all you have taken me to see... I can drop them in your mail box... I know you are heart broken over Debbie Reynolds but what an amazing woman who had an amazing life...the death of her daughter was just to big of a strain....

·         James Dabakis OMG yes. Talking to President today (just between us), Bears Ears, Debbie dying. It has been a kaleidoscope of emotions. Life as it really is!

·         Edgar Ben Williams You are am an amazing man and I feel it an honor to know you and all the good you try to do... In a sometimes weary world it is glad tidings to know that millions are trying to do the right thing against people with selfish agendas.

·         It feels so good to have a hand in protecting this priceless gift for Utah generations unborn! Debbie dying is a terrible bummer! Grand hugs. Love the dog posts.

29 December 2016 Thursday

So far not impressed with my CPap machine if the intention is to make me more rested. Evidently the people who prescribe these things don't have active bladders that get you up 4 times a night or more... and do not have a dog [Buddy] who will scratch in the middle of the night at the outside bedroom door to be let in instead of coming through the doggy door, or a dog, [TJ] who will lick my mask, or a Lulu Belle who likes to sleep up by my head... or a Coco who comes charging in at 6:30 like gang busters to play with Maxx. But I am trying...The world is still mourning. Never again will there be such a delightful mother and daughter . RIP Debbie and Carrie and thanks for the memories, laughs, and teaching us to over come adversary with grace and humor. House cleaning day, mopping floors, vacuuming, changing the bedding, doing laundry. Does anyone remember Duz Soap and all the free dishes and glasses in the boxes? I remember gas stations also giving out free glasses and dishes lol. My grandma Johnson made the store clerks move several sacks of flour so she could have identical patterns to make a dresses for my mother in Texas LOL...Stupid men they should have stacked them by pattern in the first place and the depression age women wouldn't have had to make them lift the sacks of flour again. Mom said most of her underwear was made from sacks of flour. LOL Grandma said the matching pattern was on the bottom so she made them move like 30 bags of flour LOL. A hired hand bought my mom panties to wear for her first day of school like in 1934. Times were hard. Sometimes grandpa could only find work for 50 cents a day. But they were better off than many because they farmed and had fresh eggs and milk. Grandma worked right out there in the fields along side Grandpa during those hard times but they managed to buy a 160 acre farm in 1940 and times got better, but still no electricity or indoor plumbing. In 1949 the Fairness Doctrine became law. It required holders of broadcast licenses to present issues of importance to the public in a honest, equitable and balanced fashion. In 1987 Reagan repealed it ushering in an era of fake news like Fox, and fax news reporting like Hannity and Limbaugh. Gary Asshole Herbert wrote how disappointed he was about President Obama designating Bears Ear as a National Monument. I have never been there and probably never will but sometimes you plant trees for unborn generations... Anyway I posted a comment about how Herbert is just upset because his land developer cronies can't get their hands on it and a long time friend made a very nice comment on the same site about how he had visited the area many times and was happy it was now protected. Well he just sent me a response to his comment: “After I posted my pro monument post on the governors site. A white Republican with Trump pictures on his Facebook page posted a death threat against me. I reported him to Facebook and they removed his post and gave him a warning. Poor whites and middle whites will vote for the Republican Party. Yet all they do is steal from the poor and give to the rich. Such stupid white people." Republican Thugs are emboldened by Trump's fraudulent Presidency... Be safe everyone but keep up the resistance. after all Trump is a fat 70 year old man who goes into apoplexy over Saturday Night Live and bad restaurant reviews... He can't last more than one term if that.

·         Matthew Wilson It took me a couple of months to get used to it. And I didn't have a dog. There were times I wanted to through it across the room. But eventually I noticed there were far fewer stupid drivers on the road because I was not over reacting due to lack of s...See More

·         Edgar Ben Williams That's what they all say and I believe you all...so will hang in there...thanks for the encouragement

·         Russell Pack Hang in there, Edgar Ben. It took Steve a couple of months to get used to his C-PAP, but now he sleeps much better. So do I!

·         Richard P. Butler CPap or not how do you control dogs and bladder LOL

·         Peter Crane Hang in there, eventually it will fall into place. it took me a while and several masks and machines before I found a setup that worked for me. Having a beard makes it harder, but there are masks out there that more or less work better for people with beards. If your jaw doesn't droop during the night a nasal pillow is what I use, just fits under your nose, kind of reminds me of a snorkel. the Air fit P-10 is the one I use most. http://www.cpapxchange.com/airfit-p10-nasal-pillow-cpap...

·         Ron Johnson Took me about a month or so to get used to my CPAP. I know the constant interruptions will be a problem. But hopefully will be worth it in the long run. Do you have oxygen with it too?

·         Edgar Ben Williams No just the Cpap...

30 December 2016 Friday

I made some date nut bread this morning for Sunday dinner and then made two chicken pot pies because Chuck came over for lunch. He wanted to see the dogs he said. I made him take Traxx because I wasn’t going to drive into the city then back out here and then back into the city and back again.. Sent home with him what he didn't eat here. It was a nasty smoggy day...my breathing was hard when ever I went out. Pity children and adults with asthma. Utah's inversions... The state would rather pay millions to fight battles they will loose than do something about the air. I wrote on Facebook “It's gonna be 12 degrees tomorrow...Brrr ...I better put another dog on....” and I can't believe it but Harleigh actually jumped on the bed with us...he rarely ever joins us on the bed. President Obama expelled 35 Russian spies for the Russians interfering in America’s election. Then trump tweets an attaboy at Putin who waged a cyber attack on the USA for not retaliating. Is trump a foreign agent? A member of the Mormon Tabernacle Choir resigned rather than sing at trump’s Russian Coup celebration. Some times the stupidity of media whores like Bristol Palin makes my head want to explode... She is so typical of Trump Trash ...she was paid a quarter of a million dollars to promote abstinence education while popping out two bastards...and like her typical Trump Trash in this new administration know as much about their departments as Bristol knows about keeping her knees together...

·         T.J. Otaka Your wish (of putting one more dog on your bed) has come true. Good for Harleigh.

31 December 2016 Saturday

Went with Michael out to the Dog Show on 15^th and 15^th to make an appointment with Michale Bolinder since he can no longer come to the house because he’s trailer was stolen. Michael had never been there before. We made an appointment for January 7^th at 8 for this next Saturday. I had made him a pot pie but he forgot it at the house but since I had to go out and get distilled water for the Cpap machine I just brought it to him. I felt like I was suffocating last night because the Cpap dried out my nose mucus and was plugging me up so hopefully distilled water will solve that problem. I cooked my dried black eye peas for hopping john tomorrow and made two pecan pies. I also stopped by the library to pick up some books to read… I feel like reading not watch the tube or researching on the computer.  I think I will curl up with a good book, have a few snorts, cuddle with the dogs  On January 20^th trump will put his hand on a book he never read to swear an oath he will never keep to protect the Constitution which he also never read nor will ever understand.

We are so screwed... If trump should die in office, pence will become president, if Pence should also die, Paul Ryan will be president, if Ryan should die Orrin Hatch will become president and if they all should die Rex Tillerman Exxon Billionaire and recipient of Russia's highest medal for a non citizen would become president...Rex is Latin for King

·         Rich Butler I Look forward to lunches with you. I look forward to trips, camping and backyard BBQ's. The pending change in our government can't take that away from me. Have a Happy New Year Ben. I'll see you soon.