October
Happy October. It's my favorite month in Utah
with the end of the oppressive heat and before the cold frigid snow. I love
seeing the red creeping up the mountainside as the scrub oaks turn scarlet and
the leafy trees in the valley showing off their hidden glories. It's also fun
to see the pumpkins all come out in stores and other places.
October is the time for
hoodies, hot chocolate, cutting back rose bushes, putting the yard to bed,
Coming Out Day, Gay History Month, new television programs, more soups, baking,
curling up with books, and spooky decorations going up everywhere in preparation
for Samhain or All Hallow Eve .
I've put out my fall
lights and decorations on my porch railing this last week in preparation for
the month as well as my jack-o-lanterns over my garage and porch lights.
In Pagan Lore October
is the end of the seasonal year when the old god passes away to be reborn in
December's Winter Solstice for a new
beginning.
I went to Discount
Tires this morning at 9 and evidently my tires are just fine. They said with
the changing weather sometimes the low tire pressure light just comes on. So
that was good news.
It was a gorgeous first
day of October. The weather was mild, and the vistas of the mountains were
clear. This morning Kyle Foote went through the Carhartt jackets which he has
nearly 30 of various sizes and had the brought upstairs to the spare bedroom where
he has them laid out on the bed. He wants to sell them on e-bay. There’s at
least $3,500 in jackets there.
Around 11:30 Chuck
Whyte called and wanted me to take him out to lunch, which I did. He wanted to
go to the Other Place a Greek restaurant
on 300 South and 5th East. Ive never cared for the place all that
much, but it’s always been popular among the Gay set and old people.
But I agreed to come
get him because I know he doesn’t get out much and after all the service Chuck
had given over the 35 years, I have known him, it was the least I could do.
However, I didn’t have
anything, but a Dr. Pepper as that I wasn’t all that hungry and thought why
spend money on food I didn’t care that much about. Chuck ordered himself a
Greek salad with pork shiskabobs and rice pudding. Our tab came to $25, and I
had only one drink. I let Chuck pay for his lunch as he had asked me to go out.
I noticed that Chuck
often didn’t seem too lucid while we visited often staring blankly until a
thought came to him. More than anything I noticed that at our age we had very
little to talk about. Neither one of us get out much anymore and no one really
comes over to visit. We are also so removed from the “LGBTQ” scene and so many
of our friends are dead that there was not a whole lot to gossip about. Still
as old friends sometimes you have a duty to just show up.
After taking Chuck home
to his place I drove around a little to see what was new and because it was a
really pretty day out.
Back at the house I put
on a crock pot of lima beans because I know the weather is going to cool down
and it is soup weather again.
Around 4 Jim Dabakis
came over to retrieve Taco and he confided in me that he and Stephen Justesen
had divorced this week after being together for 35 years. He needed to talk so
we walked all the pups around the block while I let him talk. I know how hard a
divorce can be even an amicable one. He knew it was coming and I wasn’t too
surprised as that they had gone on different excursions for years and like many
Gay marriages were more business partners and companions than lovers after
time. When the companionship part ends, it is usually over.
The assets were the
hardest to divide, which always is when you have a lot. They decided rather
than pay expensive lawyers they would just divide the property. Stephen will
take the Mexico hacienda plus half the sale of the B Street mansion. Jim will
keep the 4th Avenue apartments and I guess the home in Cottonwood. I
am sure the art collection will be one of the hardest asset to divide up.
Jim says he plans on doing a lot of traveling and
he has a Mexican personal assistant that will help him out with all that. I
know it has to be hard at Jim’s age to start over but at least he has money and
friends and he’s genuinely personable. He can always get a new home in Mexico
where he’s going to get residency.
So, I wonder how this
effect Taco? I think more and more he will become my responsibility. I told Jim
I have a spare bedroom and he is more than welcome to stay here anytime he
wants. Well Jim left but wanted to go see Bros with me tomorrow as a diversion
I suppose.
When Kyle came home in
the evening he came upstairs, and we visited about Jim, Chuck, and his new
fling a Guatemalan kid named Lisandro who he met on Grindr but is all into him
more than Kyle wants him to be.
After he left for
downstairs, I watched a little TV but just went to bed around 9 after Kyle said
that Lisandro was coming over tonight.
I took the pups for a walk this morning and
Lulubelle was extremely interested in something in the driveway entrance. So, I
went to investigate. There was a poor little squirrel that had died and laid in
the curb gutter at the beginning of my drive way.
I finished taking the
pups on their constitutional and then returned and dug a hole beneath my Blue
Spruce in the front yard and buried God's little creature beneath the pine
boughs. I hope the little guy had a good life. I couldn't tell how he died as he was completely like as if he had just
fallen asleep. Rest in peace little guy.
About ten years ago I
buried a white bunny that was lying dead in the street. It had to have been
someone's pet. I didn't want him to get ran over so I removed him and buried in
my front yard by my fence. So, with all the critters buried here on my property
now its officially a cemetery.
Since I was up, I
decided to do some fall clean up and cut back all my rose bushes for the winter, pulled up
sunflowers, trimmed bushes, weeded some, and watered my new park strip trees.
Lisandro spent the
night with Kyle Foote, and he left about 9:30 when I was out pruning the front
yard. I waved to him, and he waved back so as not to be awkward.
I didn’t see Kyle until
later in the afternoon when he wanted us to go get our drinks. He said that
Lisandro is way more into him than he is into him. That’s been the story of my
love life also.
I baked a meat loaf for
Kyle, and he had some for his lunch before disappearing into his space before
Lisandro came over again around 2. They went to see Bro’s at the Gateway at 5
while I met Jim Dabakis at 4:20 for a 4:40 showing at the Broadway Theater.
While waiting we
visited some more so I could find out how he is doing with his divorce. Stephen
Justesen left yesterday for New York and Jim is leaving out Tuesday for Mexico.
He has to fly into San Diego and then get across into Tijuana to catch his flight.
I offered to take him to the airport early that morning. I think in some ways
Jim is still in a daze about the whole situation.
There weren’t very many
in the theater for the 4:40 showing perhaps 15 people. The movie was definitely
a generation X movie. Parts were funny, still I
found it hard to relate to much of it as all the dating was on Grindr
and men were mostly looking like gym rats. I thought some of the messaging was
inconsistent also.
One of the sub themes
was how Gay history has been erased which I thought was ironic being as how the
Utah Pride Center has erased all aspects of our history down there. The Billy
Eichner character kept referring to himself as a “Cis White Gay male” which was
kind of a jab at the whole LGBTQ+ thing.
Anyway, afterwards I
came home, and it wasn’t long afterwards that Kyle came up to visit as he had
gone with Lisandro to the 5 o’clock showing at the Gateway. He doesn’t like
Billy Eichner so that colored his perception of the movie, but he thought it was
just okay also.
3 October 2022 Monday
It was a super hectic morning with lots of
driving. By 7 Kyle Foote had me take him to the airport to retrieve the Sierra
Truck and when we came back to house, he realized he double booked himself as
that he had a doctor’s appointment with Dr. Stoneburner at 8 but he had told
some workers that he would open the door to Curry Connect at 8. I could tell he
was extremely frustrated with himself, so I said let me go down to Sandy and
you go to the doctors.
I
was right at Curry Connect at 8 to let some workers in and going down wasn’t an
issue but I hit a lot of incoming traffic going north. I barely came home
before Mike Romero called to say he was on his way over with his GMC Truck. He
was dropping it off at Gus Paulo’s in West Valley to have the rear repair from
his Wyoming accident and needed me to drive him home. He will be without a
vehicle this week so I said I would be available if he needed to go anywhere.
I
finally was able to take the pups out for their walk before I had an
appointment at the Dog Groomers to have Maxx’s nails trimmed at 11:30 but I
went down a bit early. The groomer said that he really needed to come back
again to have his nails trimmed again because the quick had grown down in them,
so I made an appointment for next Monday at 10.
Kyle
went down to Curry Connect for a couple of hours and I said I was going to
China Delight to get some lunch and he asked me to pick some up for him also.
We always get the same Pork Chow Mein, Orange Chicken Rice Bowl and egg drop
soup.
I
was low on Gas, so I stopped at Common Cents, but the pump was having issues
with my debit card because of some new system they installed. So, I went inside
to get a drink and their fountain drinks were all out of order. Ugh!
Frustrating. I eventually just went to the convenient store next to China
Delight for a Dr. Pepper and they gave me a free banana. It’s the small things
that brighten your day. I stopped at 7-Eleven on Redwood by the house to get
gas. It was still $3.99, and I put in $33 worth.
It
wasn’t long after being back at the house again until Kyle informed me that the
Nissan Rogue was going out. He thought it was tomorrow but when he double
checked it was for today so again, I was out to the airport.
It
was only around 1:30 that I was done with all my running around and I laid down
for a nap. I must have been supper tired as I slept until nearly 4:30 before
getting up to feed the pups. I fed them kind of early because I needed to be
out at Dan Fahndrich’s by 6 and he lives around 3500 South and 400 East. I
haven’t been to his place in ages. He was giving me a
couple of VHF players he didn’t have a use for anymore
However, there is
nothing quite like visiting with old friends. Ones you might not have seen for
a long time but can pick back up like it
was yesterday. I had a nice time over at Dan Fahndrich so much so that while I thought I’d only stay
maybe a half hour instead I was there almost until 9 o’clock. It was great
reminiscing about old friends we had and other things about our current lives
at our ages.
Billy Bikowski had
rented a room from Dan back in the late 1980’s when he lived up in the Avenues.
Interestingly Dan said Billy once came into the shower with him and had sex. If
I would have known that back then, I would have been terribly hurt because I
was so in love with Billy but now, I just found it interesting. I’ve known Dan
since probably 1986 when we were young bucks.
On the way home while
on the freeway I had a phone call from Kyle. He asked if everything was all
right with Mike or me as he saw that I wasn’t home and was gone for a while. I
said I was fine, but it gladdened my heart that he cared enough to worry about
me.
Dan posted on my
Facebook page, “You beat me at the post. I want to thank my longtime friend
Ben, on OMG, wonderful times, or reminiscing, getting a little gossip and
understanding the CIS/pronoun thing that I have had a hard time understanding.
But the biggest thing was getting together and visiting. Thanks, Ben, for the
time.”
Early this morning I went into the city to pick
up Jim Dabakis as I said I would. I was up by 5:45 to
take Jim Dabakis to the airport. He could have taken an uber, but I wanted to
visit with him before he left for Cuernavaca, Mexico. I think that is where he
has a place down there. I really know nothing about Mexico except Tijuana. It
is so dark at 6:30 these days its might as well be midnight. So, Taco is in
residence for about the next three weeks.
I wanted Jim to know
that I cared about what he must be going through with a divorce after being
with someone for 35 years. He said he’s coming back in 3 weeks to inventory all
the art work he has in his residence on B street. Stephen Justesen and he are
splitting it all evenly. Jim has a lot of Trevor Southey’s works as they had
been friends, but he said he’s probably sell them as they would be too large
for a smaller space and, he didn’t want them just sitting in storage someplace.
After
dropping him off at the Delta spot, I went home and back to bed until Kyle
Foote came up and said needed me this morning to help him cut the boards on
which he’s going to attach the Curry Connect neon letters. I was mostly handing
him things and lifting things. It was actually quite pleasant out in the mid
70’s while I helped him.
We worked until around
12:30 then went down to Common Cents to get a Dr. Pepper. Kyle had to go down
to Curry Connect to solve some issue there and
I then took the pups for a walk around the block. They only got one walk
today, but one is better than none I suppose.
In the late afternoon I
laid down for another nap. It’s what old people do. While napping Kyle had
returned and painted the sign backing black and after I fed the pups, he asked
me to help lift the panels into the garage. Each was about 5 feet long and 4
feet wide, may be even more. I told Kyle
that I was going out to attend the Gay men’s group that Bill Blevins runs at
the Pride Center, so I left around 6 because it takes 20 minutes just to get
into town on Main Street off of 13th South in the Ball Park area.
At
the center, posted on their door, were two little signs saying to knock to be
let in. I said to the kid Tyler who had just come up about the same time, “Well
that is really welcoming.” If I was a gay person just coming out, I would have
turned around and left. Oh well. It’s not my community any more. Next Tuesday
is Coming Out Day which the center is having a big to do about, but I bet they
will have no clue how it began, and they will change it all to some “nonbinary”
shit instead of sexual orientation. Coming Out Day was in response to the 1987
March on Washington to protest the Supreme Court upholding Sodomy Laws not
transgender issues.
I
guess I have a need to be somewhat social and that is why I come to this men’s
group. I really like Dwight Wood and I’ve known Bill for ages. The rest of the
guys range in ages from in their 20’s to mostly middle age and with Dwight and
I probably being the oldest. All in all, there was about 15 people there
probably less. Many of the middle-aged men said they had come out only recently
and I know this is probably the only peer support group that is still around no
thanks to the any effort of the center except to provide a space. I really
don’t get a whole lot out of the group but any space where Gay men can share
with one another is a good space.
The
meeting was over at 8 and I noticed out in the lobby what looked like a lot of
lost souls. The center attracts dysfunction folks who have no opportunity for a
sense of real community. There was even some young guy wandering around outside
as I left probably as he couldn’t get in. The place is sad for sure.
Anyway,
out in the car I noticed I had a text from Kimball Edwards who I hadn’t heard
from today and thought maybe he had changed his mind about getting together but
his text said he would be free at 9 if I still wanted to come over which I
certainly did.
He
lives in apartments located near the middle of 400 West off of 8th
South not far from where the old Utah Stonewall Center once was on 3rd
West. It is strange to think that he was born on 9 September 1996 when I was
still quite active as a librarian, archivist, and board member of the old
center. Well, I can only say that Kimball sought me out on Silver Daddies and
not me him, so I am not exactly a cradle robber even if there is a “Harold and
Maude” vibe going on here.
Before
leaving the Men’s group I was visiting with Dwight about this young Ukrainian
boy he is trying to help get to Utah. He showed me a picture and the young man
is dropped dead gorgeous. I said to him that we are both winding down our lives
and if we can help these young people and get a cuddle out of it at the same
time why not? Neither he nor I are the type of Gay men who would just be
predators and then discard people. Although unlike Jim Dabakis and Dwight, any
young person wanting to be with me has to because simply for my personality
since I have no money to exploit.
Kimball
came down at 9 and brought me up to his apartment and I could tell he was glad
to see me. Instead of falling directly into bed we visited a bit before getting
undressed. We are getting to that comfortable point. We did get naked, and I
made love to his beautiful body, but he didn’t cum this time and neither one of
us cared. He enjoys being held and massaged as much or even more than having an
orgasm. He wanted me to get under the blanket with him and we stroked and
petted each other and talked about our lives, how school and work is going for
him. I shared more of my life and told him more about Kyle who I said was like
a son to me and looks after me, so I don’t have to live alone.
It
was marvelous holding him in my arms and me in his, while we talked about ghost
stories and paranormal stuff after all it is October. He’s watching the Netflix
series on Jeffrey Dahmer, but I said I don’t like shows about serial killers
who murder Gay people as that for me the events were something I lived through
and not just a show on Television. I remember being so horrified about John
Wayne Gacy as well as Dahmer. I did tell Kimball about the experiences I had
living in Murray van Wagner’s house on 13th East in the 1970’s when
there was so much paranormal activity that Fran and I attributed to Murray’s
wife who also died in that house.
Anyway,
Kimball was so relaxed and was nearly falling asleep so I told him that I would
leave so he could, although I think he would have been fine with me staying
much longer, perhaps even the entire night.
So
around 11:30 I drove back home with just a half-moon up in the dark sky and it was nearly midnight when I pulled into
the driveway. I saw that there was a car parked behind Kyle’s GMC Terrain, so I
knew he had company. I was surprised that when I pulled up, he came out of his
front door and half-jokingly asked where I had been, as it was
a “school night.” I said OKAY dad and laughed and went upstairs to greet
my waiting pups.
Kyle
never comes out when he has a gentleman caller so he must have been a bit
worried about me coming in so late.
I
had my endoscopy appointment this morning so I woke up early and couldn’t go
back to sleep. I noticed that Kyle’s “friend” had spent the night and it wasn’t
Lisandro. Ha! Kyle usually doesn’t want his boys to spend the night because he
then doesn’t get much sleep and he once told me he’s not a cuddler. I am for
sure.
Anyway, the young man left at 8:30
just before Kyle took me down to the Redwood Clinic at 8:45. He was in a chatty
mood which he hardly is in the morning and said that Pride Center probably will
block him after he posted something on their Face Book page where they said
they were committed to celebrating LGBTIQ history month. “We continue to honor
and celebrate #LGBTQHistoryMonth with another local queer story. Take a moment
to read about the fascinating life of Barrie Berryman.” He
wrote to them, “You continue to honor and celebrate? Really? What
happened to the historical displays in your meeting room? What happened to the
photos of past Kristen Ries award winners that used to line the stairs?” I was proud of him.
He also wanted to share his response to a friend who was a
former inmate with him named Todd Millner about immigration. It was in response
to an article that said that allowing immigration to this country ultimately
does no good, so Kyle had to send a rebuttal. I said that anti-immigration is a
typical republican response. However, I told Kyle about the movie “Year of
Living Dangerously” where I heard and believe that you cannot save everyone,
but you can save those placed in front of you. I said that I might not be able
save all dogs but for the one I do save it makes a difference and to the
immigrants that do make it to this country it does make a difference to them
even if it doesn’t for millions of others. People use the big picture to
justify doing nothing.
Anyway, after Kyle dropped me off
and gave the clinic his contact information, I was taken back to a room to
change into a gown and prepped. The nurse had a hard time with a vein for the
IV, so I was poked twice but that was the only discomfort I felt. After waiting
a bit, in which I just snoozed they wheeled me into another room where Dr.
Avilla was the one who was going to scope me out. All I remember was them
asking me to turn over on my side and then the next thing I knew I was back in
the recovering room feeling a bit groggy. I say if euthanize is that simple I
am all for it.
I was told I was fine no ulcer and
just a little inflammation. Anyway, Kyle came to get me and back at the house.
I didn’t do anything because I wasn’t allowed to drive so I finally ate
something because I hadn’t since yesterday’s lunch. I finished off the rest of
the Chow Mein then went back to bed and sleep some more until near 4 in the
afternoon. I took the pups for a walk around the block and fixed them their
supper before I sat down to watch the news.
The two flags I ordered arrived
today from Amazon. One is a Rainbow Flag to replace the one that is already
starting to shred because of all the winds we had this year, and another is a
fall house banner with a black cat sitting behind a full moon in a pumpkin
patch. I got it because it reminded me of Persephone.
I fixed myself a bowl of lima bean
soup, but it didn’t sit right with me. Perhaps it was going bad, not sure, but
I was sick to my stomach and nauseous. I might have had a pit of food poisoning
as I tried to vomit several times, but I am one of them who does not have a gag
reflex, so I suffered for a bit before spitted out a bit and felt better. It was
a long day, so I decided to just go to bed at 9 after all I have a dentist
consultation tomorrow.
Kyle called around 8 coming home
from Curry Connect asking if I wanted any supper but told him I was a bit nauseous
so thanks anyway.
President Biden toured Puerto Rico
and Florida during the past couple of days to survey the hurricane damage and
give moral support to the people there. DeSantis sure doesn’t mind government
socialism for his state’s disasters.
I heard that Loretta Lynn the Queen
of Country Music had passed away at the age of 90. I never was much of a fan as
I was of many other country western divas.
I had my dental appointment at 10 this morning
and I was there nearly until 11:30 as I had a periodontal checkup, x-rays, and
a cleaning done. I had to have a deep
cleaning on my upper left molars and so they had to give me a shot to numb the
area. I have to come back next Wednesday at 10 again for some cavities. At this
rate I may never get my missing tooth replaced with a partial denture. Oh well.
I
stopped at Lucky’s on the way home to buy Kyle his Lactaid Milk and more
Cheerios and some chicken for the pups as they were about out for their supper.
I
was home a little bit after 12. Kyle didn’t know where I was because he doesn’t
pay attention when I tell him about my appointments if it doesn’t involve him.
We went to get our drinks and then off to Lowe’s for some wood screws for the
neon panels and to return some brackets. While he did that, I looked around the
garden section not that I wanted to buy anything, I was just looking at what
was still for sale this late into the season.
Kyle,
while we were driving, reminded me that we had to go pick up the Nissan Rogue
at 4 in the morning tomorrow. I suggested that he get a twink to stay overnight
and go with him to retrieve the vehicle. He said that twinks weren’t good for
much or men in general, but I said Well they are good for one thing rereleasing
your tension when needed.
Afterwards, Kyle was a
bit hungry, so we went out to the Costa Vida joint at the airport. It’s the one
place he likes that also serves black beans. I ordered a children’s enchilada
meal and paid for both of our lunches.
Back home I made a pot
of chili Verde but not quite my usual way as I didn’t use flour as a thickening
agent but corn starch instead so it’s a bit runnier. Also, I didn’t have any
canned tomatoes, so I used some tomato salsa I had in the refrigerator instead.
It still tasted pretty decent.
Kyle
didn’t need me until late in the afternoon to help with lifting the boards onto
the saw horses so he could start attaching the neon chili pepper and curry
connect letters. I mainly helped him by handing him fasteners as he screw them
in. It went pretty well except one of the parts of the chili broke so that will
have to be sent for a replacement. They are made in China, so it takes a while
to get shipped here.
Kyle
finished it, all except for the words Curry, before quitting as it was after 7
and was getting too dusky out. Earlier I talked to the Bahena’s next door, and
they are leaving out tomorrow for 3 weeks. They are driving all the way to the
tip of Baja California. I said I would gather their mail and keep an eye on
their place while they are gone.
After
lifting the panels and placing them in the garage Kyle wanted to go to Dairy
Queen in Bountiful for an ice cream. So of course, I went with him. It was only
after 7:30 but it was nearly pitch dark outside, so we are truly winding down
the year.
I
just had a small vanilla cone while Kyle ordered a blizzard and some French
fries to go. So, by 8 o’clock our day was over, he hugged me, and I went
upstairs to get ready for bed as I knew we would be getting up early tomorrow.
Judy Tenuta (November
7, 1949 – October 6, 2022) died today of ovarian cancer. I discovered her humor
in the 1980’s although she was not a well-known comedian. She was the "The Love Goddess," mixing insult
comedy with a standup routine using an accordion. “No, no, no You cannot
possess me.” She was popular among Gay men.
I woke
up about 2:45 and since Kyle Foote needed me to go with him at 4 this morning
to retrieve the Nissan Rogue from the airport I just stayed up as I knew if I
feel back to sleep, I probably would feel more tired. About an hour later Kyle
called and said it was time, so I got dressed and we took the Honda FIT to the
airport. There was a beautiful, gibbous moon almost full shining brightly in
the night sky. The guy was there at the Turo location about the same time as we
arrived. I returned to Sutherlands to wait for Kyle to arrive with the Rogue
and we were back home before 4:30 to go back to bed.
Still
got up around 7:30 fixed some breakfast and finished typing up my 1971 Journal
by 11:30 when Mike Romero called and asked me to take him to retrieve his
Silverado Truck that was fixed. Gus Paulo’s
is located on 4000 West and 35th South in West Valley and I
drove down 35th for the first time in years and years. I hardly
recognized it with all the changes and high rises.
Anyway,
Kyle called when I was out with Mike and wanted to go get a drink which we did
when I returned at 12:30. He said he had an interview to remodel a hamburger
joint over in Kearns at 1 and was getting a haircut after that so I didn’t see him for the rest of the day
until around 4.
He
informed me then that Persephone’s actual owner, “Fern” short for Fernando was
in town and was coming over to the house. So, I took the pups for a walk around
the block and when I returned Fern showed up and he and Kyle disappeared for
the rest of the evening. I have no doubt that Kyle had met Fern and his
boyfriend back last Spring on Grindr as that Fern is definitely a cute “Twink”
just Kyle’s Latin type.
Since
I wasn’t invited to visit, I took off in the evening and got a subway cold cut
sandwich and went into North Salt Lake to take the Honda Fit through the car
wash but surprisingly the NSL location was closed even at 7. So, I went to the
one in Woods Cross and later stopped at the Smith’s there which used to be
where K-Mart was. I wanted to buy TJ the treats he likes and a few treats for
me. After com9ng back to the house Kyle and Fern had gone somewhere perhaps out
to dinner so I ate my subway sandwich and watched some TV, Abbott Elementary,
Archer, and Young Sheldon before going to bed around 9:30
I
was sound asleep when I was wakened by loud shouting. I thought it was perhaps
a fight outside and when I went to look out the window, I saw nothing but then
realized that the noise was from Kyle’s TV downstairs that was really loud. I
know Fern was gone by then because his truck was, so I was not sure if Kyle had
company or just had the volume up, so I just returned to bed.
I am often reminded of
quotes of the character Billy Kwan from the 1983 movie Year of Living
Dangerously : “You just don't think about the major issues. You do whatever you
can about the misery that's in front of you. Add your light to the sum of
light....What then must we do? We must give with love to whoever God has placed
in our path.”
These words made such
an impact on me that I have tried to live my life in such a manner more than
anything I heard in a church... I truly believe you cannot save the world, but
you can help those in front of you. The Salt Lake Gay community was placed in
front of me when I first came out, so I had to help. The children placed in my
care as a teacher were well cared for also as are the critters who come to me
in my old age.
I only hope I did enough
Putin
is threatening to use tactical nuclear weapons in Ukraine and President Biden
said the threat of nuclear was the highest since 1962 with the Cuban missile
crisis.
8 October 2022 Saturday
While going to get our drinks at Common Cents,
Kyle Foote was in a chatty mood about last night. He said that Fern was
depressed because he found out that he’s HIV positive but supposedly
undetectable. He needed to share with someone rather than his family so stayed
with Kyle until Lisandro came over around 11. So, it was Lisandro and Kyle
blasting the TV watching a comedian.
That explained the noise I heard last night.
Kyle
never interacted with me other than that and was gone most of the day and
evening. When I went to bed at 9:30 he was gone and when I got up at 1 to see
what TJ was barking about and to pee, his car was still gone. I supposed he’s
intitled to have a social life outside of me.
I
was kind of surprised that he didn’t work some more on the Curry Connect sign
since it was such a beautiful day out. I finished reading “Holy Chow” the
latest in the Andy Carpenter series and I still think David Rosenfelt is a
great writer.
9 October 2022 Sunday
Not much going on with me right now. Kyle went
to breakfast with Lisandro at the “Our Kitchen place in North Salt Lake. He
didn’t tell me he was going out I just learned about it later. Since he was out
again, I lowered the flags as we were supposed to do to honor fallen
Firefighters and I replaced the wind torn Rainbow flag with the one I bought
from Amazon a while ago.
I needed to get out of
the house feeling a little neglected, so I went and bought some cinnamon
crispies that I like from the Mexican bakery, returned a book to the library,
filled the Honda Fit ups with gasoline at Smith’s where with a 20-cent discount
I paid $3.89 a gallon and actually went to the Northwest Recreational Center
and joined them again as it is free with my United Health Care plan. I don’t
know what possessed me, but I feel like my upper body strength is just not
there much so maybe by working out it might get better. Besides a friendly old
queen was working there and made sure I was signed up properly
Kyle
called me while I was there to ask about
getting our drinks which we did at Common Cents. He never said where he was all
night but did off handedly say it was
after 3 in the morning when he came home.
In
the afternoon we both took a nap I think, at least I know I did. When I got up,
I took the pups for another walk, and it was another warm fall-like afternoon.
The
only other occasion that I was with Kyle was to help him carry out the wooden panel
signs to place them on the saw horses that he set up in the driveway. I handed
him the fasteners and when we were almost done, another of the Neon tubes
broke. It was in the letter R and that had to be really frustrating because
Kyle will have to order a replacement.
I went back upstairs afterwards so as not to
be offended by his criticism of how I separated the electrical wires and waited
until he needed help lifting the panels up and placing them back in the garage
which makes me so nervous because he only cleared a small section for them, and
they were heavy and awkward for me to handle. After that I didn’t have anything
thing more to do with him.
I
don’t know why I needed to get out of the house, maybe it was the full moon but
at 8:30 I took off and drove around the city. I don’t know what I was looking
for. I drove down Third West to 200 South and then to 600 West. I wanted to see
how the construction was going on there. I thought few will remember that this
was once the Gay section of Salt Lake and before that filled with saloons,
coffee shops, seedy hotels, and whores.
I
just felt like I needed to be away, and I went past the Sun Trapp club that was
opened but not terribly busy and then over to North Temple. As it was fairly
warm out at 70 degrees lots of street people were gathered in the parking lot
of 7-11 on the corner of 10th West. I think I was like a spectator
of a part of Salt Lake’s underground night life. I didn’t want to actually
interact with them, which perhaps I would have when I was much younger, but now
I just wanted to observe from the safety of my warm car. I can’t even imagine
all the little dramas going on with these mostly young people trying to survive
on the streets and huddling in packs for companionship and I suppose survival
on the street.
I
continued down darkened North Temple to Redwood Road where again at the
7-Eleven there next to the closed for the night Burger King, around a dozen
homeless people had gathered some animated and talking to each other and a few
sitting huddled against the wall almost comatose. It was hard to tell whether
from drugs or despair.
As
it was only 9:30 I still didn’t want to head home, so I drove over to the Turo
spot in the Sutherlands parking lot and sat and played Spider Solitaire on my
cell phone and watched the few people still out walking their dogs along North
Temple. I sat there for about a half hour before heading up Redwood Road where I stopped and park to the side of
Common Cents that was all lit up. It seems the place attracts a few street
people late at night. This one guy set out a blanket and settled himself in
front of the store with all his meager possession around him. I thought how did
he become this way as he only looked like he was in his mid-30’s and fairly
good looking for a man who lives on the street.
Then
another young dude rode up to the air hose not far from where I was. I had
supposed he was there to get air for his bicycle, but he never did. He just
parked it there and got off and stumbled around. Clearly, he was either on
drugs or intoxicated the way he swayed back and forth and tottered. I was
rather fascinated with the little human drama playing out there.
When he finally rode
away after about 20 minutes of just being there, I decided it was time to go
home as it was after 10:30 and I was getting sleepy. I had been away for 2
hours.
10 October 2022 Monday
Both Kyle Foote and I forgot that today was Columbus
Day holiday until we went to the post office this morning and realized it when
we saw the place closed. Kyle sold one of the Carhartt jackets and wanted to
mail it and I was sending off the Danforth cassette interviews to my 2nd
cousin Barbara Danforth Nasady.
Lots of people think
Columbus Day should be rebranded “Indigenous People Day” but officially it’s
still Columbus Day. No matter how you personally feel about Columbus the
results of his voyages are still felt today in the world by the foods we eat
and the places where we live.
Kyle
had a zoom meeting at 11 so I kept the dogs with me in the bedroom to keep them
quiet while I worked on my 1972 journal. What a troubling year it was when I
turned 21 and was trying to figure out my place in this old world.
When
Kyle was through, we went to get our drinks and then to Lowe’s in Bountiful so
he could buy some items needed for his sign which he hung from eye bolts from
the lintel over the garage entrance. I had to help lift them into place. He
didn’t need any help until much later in the late afternoon.
I wanted to go to the
library but realized it too would be closed today so I just ended up walking
the pups and taking a nap with them util about 4:30.
After
getting up and feeding them Kyle had me help him with wiring the Curry Connect
sign by helping push wires through the back to the front. We worked until it
was after 7 and it was getting dark, so we quit at that time and went out to Dairy Queen to get a Blizzard
Shake and a vanilla cone for me.
I am coming more and
more to realize that our age differences and perspectives give us different
opinions on what it means to be pollical. He says he more of an Independent who
aligns with the Democratic Party’s policies while I am a Yellow Dog Democrat in
so much that I would vote for a yellow dog over any Republican so that we can
control the majority committees of Congress rather than letting the Republicans.
I can’t help but think that a person must have a fundamental flaw to be a
Republican in this day and age of Trump.
Whenever I see an R
behind a candidate or incumbents name, I think does it stand for Racist or
Rapist or Repulsive? I can never decide. I think it's hilarious that Mike Lee
endorsed and voted for Evan McMullin over Trump in 2016?
Deseret News-
"When Evan McMullin decided to run for president in 2016 it was not
because he felt uniquely qualified for the office, but rather because he and
many others were concerned that Donald Trump did not represent the principles
and values of the Republican Party (which McMullin had historically aligned
with), and that Hillary Clinton was an unacceptable alternative. Ironically,
Mike Lee came to the same conclusion in 2016 after the “Access Hollywood” tape
surfaced, and Lee ultimately cast his vote for McMullin. " Now Lee is
Trump's butt boy and is attacking McMullin LOL. Republicans are crazy man
crazy.
It
seems not that long ago that Mike Romero and I moved into this house on
Fernleaf Street about this time in October. I've lived here now for 26 years;
longer than I ever lived any place else in my life. I never lived in a place
more than three years, usually less, as an adult before buying this house in
1996. I have spent more than half of my adult life on this plot of land. It was
a barren lot when I moved in, and I had to plant every bush and tree and laid
the sod with the help of Rich Butler.
I once had such a
beautiful garden in my backyard where I would sit and swing and play with my
pups from back then. I used to think of my backyard as my secret garden and I
would have people admire my front yard when they walked by. Now all the trees
except one in my backyard are gone and
just one rosebush I planted 26 years ago is left. It looks almost as barren as
when I first moved in. Oh well I still have my little plots of flowers out
front that makes me happy and probably is just enough at my age. Change, like
the phases of the moon and the seasons
of the year, is inevitable.
11 October 2022 Tuesday
Kyle Foote and I did a lot of driving around
this afternoon doing errands and with all the time I spend with him it is never
enough for me.
After walking the pups
this morning Kyle and I went to the Rose Park Post Office, and I mailed off a
packet of mainly cassettes to my cousin Barbara Nasady finally. It cost $10 to
ship it but hopefully will get there by this Friday. However, the shipping container
that Kyle needed for his Carhartt jacket was not available, but he found a
store in Midvale that carried all sorts of mailing boxes, so we drove down to
72nd where he bought nearly 30 or more of them which still isn’t as
many as the jackets we have.
Anyway,
we also went to Lowes for some more building material for the Curry sign before
getting our drinks at Common Cents. Kyle wanted to try a new Mexican restaurant
call Los Tapatios Taco Grill by Rancho Market on North temple. The location use
to be East Seas where Bill Poore and I often had Chinese Food. The place
eventually closed because of health violations. Kyle ordered 3 tacos for
himself plus rice and beans while I use had rice and beans as I wasn’t all that
hungry.
It
was after 2 by the time we were through and back home. I was tired but instead
of taking a nap I decided to really clean the kitchen sink area really well. I
put on some hit music from 1972 which
made doing the chore more enjoyable if it can be called that but at least it
gave me some satisfaction. I am not a clean freak, but I do have my limitations
on how much grime I am willing to live with before doing something about it,
for me, as that no one ever comes over anymore and Kyle rarely comes upstairs.
The dish washer still
isn’t working so I still wash everything
in the sink, which I don’t really mind too much. There’s something cleansing
about putting your hands in soapy water.
I
had just finished feeding the pups when Kyle said he needed my help some more
with wiring the rest of the Curry Connect sign which he completed by 6:30.
There are two broken neon parts that need to be replaced but it all lights up.
The Sierra Truck has come back so Kyle can take it tomorrow down to 94th
South.
After
we were done with the sign Kyle went back into his lair and I was not wanting
to be left alone so I went to the Rose Park Library and checked out three more
mysteries but haven’t started them yet.
I thought I should
perhaps go to the Northwest Recreational Center but then realized I don’t have
gym shoes anymore. So instead, I went into Bountiful to Ross Dress for Less and
bought a pair for $20. Since my membership didn’t cost me anything I guess buying
new shoes is no big deal. Actually, they were the first pair of shoes I bought
new in years.
I
then came back home and watched a little TV before going to bed after noticing
that Kyle had company over again.
Still, I am so proud of
myself for joining the northwest recreational centers gym through my Silver
Sneakers senior program so that the membership doesn’t cost me a thing. Now if
I ever decide to go I can, and probably I won’t, but at least I can think about
it from the comfort of my lazy boy.
I miss the good old
days when my California gym membership had men’s nights where clothing was
optional and the pool, hot tub, and sauna were for completely nude use. I
needed that motivation to go to the gym.
Today is “Coming Out
Day” and I wonder how many Gay kids today even know why we celebrate Coming Out
Day? Where we are today didn’t happen overnight and did not happen by moderates but by those willing to kick the
doors open for others. While I am alive, I will still keep on kicking although I
am a lot more feeble and mostly just nudging it. But we were once warriors and
surrounded with the intrepid few mostly now forgotten or erased.
Thirty-five years ago,
I took a long train trip to Washington DC with my friend Mark Lamar to protest
the Supreme Court’s decision that Gay people had no rights towards privacy and sodomy laws could be used to arrest us.
Not until 2003 was that decision reversed. Only about 35 to 50 activists from
Utah made the trek to Washington out of the hundreds of thousands who marched
that day.
I only have a couple of
pictures of the event as we had no cell phone cameras back then. The two guys I
had a picture taken with were Robert McIntier and Bruce Harmon both who have
long since passed away. I also found a contingency from my old home of Orange
County and had a picture taken with them. This trip and adventure was one of
the highlights of my life. We celebrate Coming Out Day on October 11 to
commemorate the protest and march.
In the news Angela Lansbury
died today at the age of 96 just shy a few days of her 97th
birthday. Two of my favorite movies with her in it are “Something for Everyone”
with Michael York from 1970 and “Pirates of Penzance” from about 1981. She
certainly led a great theatrical life and will be remembered for a very long
time.
12 October 2022
Wednesday
I went to Roseman by 10 this morning and I was
kind of pissed because I had another group assigned to me who I had not seen
before and while I was told last week I was coming in to get some fillings done
in preparation of getting a partial the new team started in on telling me that
I had to have another tooth in my upper
left jaw crowned and a bunch of others on my lower right before they could
start doing my partials. I was upset because I said I was told I only had to
have a certain amount of work down to get a partial for my missing tooth and
all the rest could be done later. So, one of the teaching dentists came over
and examined me and corrected them and said that the upper tooth did not need a
crown because it was probably eventually going to fail and that I could just
begin on the upper right partial as I wanted. So after about a half an hour of
getting that straighten out finally, I started having my filling that I
originally came in for worked on. All in all, I was in that dentist chair for
nearly an hour and 45 minutes, and I was exhausted.
I
made another appointment for next Wednesday at 10 to have that tooth she wanted
to have crowned to just have a filling put in and hope it lasts a few years.
When
I came back to the house Kyle Foote needed me to take down one of the panels
and help lift it into the truck. He asked me if I wanted to go with him, but I
declined because I hadn’t walked the dogs nor had anything to eat since
yesterday. Also, after dropping that portion of the sign off, he said he had to
go up to Kaysville to rent the cherry picker lift he needed to put the signs
up.
I
was resting when he returned at 3 and he said he needed me to go with him this
time so after loading the last panel into the bed of the truck we were on our
way. Kyle was upset about something, not at me but probably something to do
with Curry Connect. I was anxious the entire way down to 94th South
just because of us hauling a huge piece of equipment behind us but also
wondering how Kyle was going to attach the sign to the front of the building once there.
I
knew he hadn’t gotten any other helpers and he just had me and there was no way
I could have helped lift anything, but I had to trust that he being a
contractor knew what he was doing. I just assisted him in handing him things
and attaching some heavy chains that actually were used to hoist the sign up.
As I am not in the least able to visualize what he was doing I just watched
most of the time a nervous wreck. Later Kyle told me he was anxious too because
he was afraid it might fall, and I get hurt.
Anyway,
it was after 6 when he finally was able to bolt the sign into place and I kept
telling him from my perspective that the sign was off being level by just an
inch or so. When he finally came down to look at it himself, he was not happy
with it although it looked fine to me.
It
was too late to do much more as it was getting dark, so we left for home to
return tomorrow. Kyle was upset with himself for not checking the accuracy more
before bolting it in and said it will be difficult tomorrow to rechain it un
bolt and do it again. I wish he had someone else on the ground besides me to spot
it for him because I hated the responsibility.
On
the way home Kyle said that this was the last big project for Naveen Pavuturi and
when it’s done, he is finished. He sound like he was really fed up with the
whole project. I know he was tired and frustrated.
He also was chatty
about Tim Hunter who he wants to distance himself from without hurting his
feelings. Tim evidently is attracted to Kyle, but it is not reciprocated. Kyle
said he’s not looking to date anyone as a boyfriend. I didn’t say anything, but
Kyle is perfectly suited right now just to have a fuck buddy to relieve his
sexual needs.
I did say, well for someone you met on Grindr, meaning
Naveen, you sure have devoted your whole summer to him. Then he agreed and said
the same about Danny Montoya who he had also met on Grindr.
Kyle was hungry as he
hadn’t eaten since we stopped at Common Cents earlier where I bought a beef
jerky stick and some peanuts along without drinks. So, I suggested before going
home to go to Mod’s in Woods Cross, which we did. It was nearly 8 when we
finally made it home and I was able to feed the pups their supper which they
ate eagerly.
13 October 2022
Thursday
Looking on line early this morning as I was
waking up, I noticed that Ralph Ludders of all people sent me message through
Ancestry.com. I had done some of his family genealogy and he must have found me
there. I responded back “Ralph so good to hear from you...you must have been on my wave length as
I am typing up my journal from 1971 when we were in college together at Cypress
and Cal State Fullerton and you are in so many passages. It was such a crazy
year when we were 20-year-old.” Then I sent him some contact information. Kind
of weird how we continue in circles. So, I was kind of surprised that Ralph
made no further attempt to contact me for the rest of the day.
Kyle
Foote and I left at 8:30 to head south to fix the sign for Curry Connect. That
took the rest of the morning and he managed to straighten it and bolt it back
in place with just one quarrel between us. He was yelling at me to make a
decision while standing in the parking lot if the sign was now straight and I
wanted to get it right this time, but I yelled back at him “I am not your
employee.” I should have said fucking employee. I think Kyle often takes my willing
to help him on any of his projects for granted.
We didn’t stay mad long
as I knew he was tired and frustrated and I actually think this was too big of
a task for him virtually doing it alone with a 71-year-old non constructor man
as a helper. Also, I think he really wants to be done with this project and is
slightly concerned that he will not get
paid the money owed him.
We were done by 11:30
but had to return the cherry picker back to Diamond rental in Millcreek before
heading back to Sutherland’s to drop the Truck off and retrieve the Honda FIT,
we left there.
I wanted to be home to
watch the last of the January 6th investigation which I thought they
said would start at 1 but it was nearly over by the time I turned on the
television. However, I did watch the historical unanimous roll call to subpoena
Donald Trump to appear before the committee. This investigation into the Trump
inspired insurrection will not have changed any minds among Democrats who despise
Trump or Republicans who have tied their fate to him, but hopefully enough
independent voters are swayed enough to end this American Tragedy.
Except when Kyle sold
some hoisting chains to someone at 4 and
we went to the post office to sell another Carhartt Jacket I didn’t interact
with him the rest of the day.
After feeding the pups
and taking them for a walk I decided that I should go to the Northwest
Community Recreation Center around 6.
You have to start someplace. I mainly rode a mile on a stationary bike, walked
about 4 laps around the running track and used some of the universal workout
machines mostly on my upper body where I am the weakest.
I stayed for an hour
and then went grocery shopping at Lucky’s. The only thing I wasn’t able to buy
was Kyle’s Lactaid Milk, which they were out of.
I heard that we Seniors
will get a cost-of-living increase in January of round 8 percent, which is the
highest ever however overall inflation is also at 8 percent. Saudi Arabia is
cutting oil production to help Russia, where Putin’s war in Ukraine is fueling
much of the world’s inflation and turmoil.
I think if Liz Cheney
ever ran as an Independent for President, I would consider voting for her, but
she must leave the Republican Party behind.
Matthew Shepard died on
this day in 1998. Ten years earlier my friend Darrell Webber was murdered for
being Gay in Salt Lake. He was the secretary of Unconditional Support. His
funeral was held on my 37th birthday. His murderer, who I was called to testify
against, used the homosexual panic defense and was not convicted. I remember
how Darrell never received justice. Two other Gay men were murdered that year
in SLC and a third was nearly beaten to death in Logan Canyon.
14 October 2022 Friday
Kyle Foote had a bit of running around to do
this morning and asked me to go with him. He sold another Carhartt jacket, so
we had to go to the Post Office, return some items to Lowes on 13th
South and send back a package at the UPS
store downtown on 2nd South.
He
also wanted to stop at the Rose Park Smith’s to buy some snack items for snacks
downstairs. He also need to pick up some prescriptions one which was a generic
form of Cialis a boner pill.
Afterwards
we went to get our Dr. Peppers at Common Cents then came on back to the house
where I took the pups for a walk around the block before having a bite to eat
of a bean and rice burrito.
Kyle
had an appointment at 3 to go to Kearns to a talk with the owners of Loco
Burgers, a kind of Mexican hamburger place. He is being interviewed for a job
there designing their front eating area. So took a nap until he came home
around 5. I had just finished walking the pups again when he came bringing a
burger and fries that we split between us. He then went back downstairs.
I
didn’t see him for the rest of the evening, and I noticed later around 7 that
he had taken off probably to use his boner pills with this Guatemalan pole
dancer he fucks. I tried watching some TV and got caught up on Abbott
Elementary, Archer, and Young Sheldon but started searching for something else
to watch but didn’t want to invest a lot of time watching a movie so I did finish
watching an episode of Derry Girls, a British comedy that takes places in
Northern Ireland during the troubles there. It’s really kind of cute but I had
to turn on subtitles because of their thick brogue which made it hard to
understand the characters.
Around
8:30 I was edgy and feeling cooped up and alone and I needed to get out of the
house again. I wanted an ice cream cone but that was an excuse to just be
driving around. I drove down North Temple to 6th West towards 2nd
South and there were hundreds of cars parked along both sides of the street and
lots of people dressed in skippy clothing walking alongside the cars. Something
big was going on at 100 South but I couldn’t tell whether it was at the Suntrap
or the Metro next to it or even the Mexican Civic Center, maybe all three.
It
was slow going to 2nd South but then I went over to 3rd
West and drove down it, but they have it going south narrowed to one lane
because of the construction of the high-rise apartments on about 5th
South.
I
was heading towards the Arctic Circle on 17th South and 5th
east, so I drove through the Ball Park area pass the Pride Center which was
closing up at 9 and then to Arctic Circle. It did not look that busy and I
wasn’t in no big hurry, so I waited in the drive through behind some young
people standing ordering food. I waited and waited, still in no real big hurry
but finally after about 10 minutes I was able to order. The gal inside said
they were out of shakes only cones and I said that was all I wanted so I
ordered a small vanilla swirl. Then I waited and waited again for the kids in
front of me to get their order. I waited another 5 minutes and thought this was
ridiculous and I didn’t need an ice cream that badly and drove off. The service
at this Arctic Circle has always been bad. They probably can’t staff it properly,
which is not my problem.
So
not wishing to go home and it being nearly 9:30 now, I decided to just go back
out to State Street and drive down to the Arctic Circle on 72nd
South which I did. It’s been years and years since I’ve been out this late
driving on State Street, but I was curious to see all the changes.
Finally
close to 10 I reached Arctic Circle which was fully staffed and yet not busy,
so I ordered a vanilla swirl in a waffle cone for about $2.25. I am old enough
to remember when they were no more than 25 cents.
I
left then and got on to 72nd South and headed west to Redwood Road
and drove north to see all the changes there at night. I took my time in no
particular hurry. I even took a detour to a park I use to frequent years ago
along the Jordan River but saw that it had been closed. It kind of looked permanent.
I
drove back up Redwood Road to North Temple having made a complete circuit, but
it was only around 11 and still I wasn’t sleepy and curious about being out.
There wasn’t nearly as many street people outside as there were the last time I
went prowling around at night and there were even cop cars down at the 7-Eleven
on North Temple and 10th West which is a usual gathering spot.
I
drove over to 600 West again and down town and come back up 6th West
by the Suntrap the street was packed with
cars leaving some venue, I mean nearly stopped. I had never seen that many cars
ever on 6th West and 100 South. It took nearly 15 minutes just to
crawl up to North Temple again. At that point I returned back to Redwood Road
to Common Cents were I parked for a while looking at my cell phone before
finally close to midnight I returned back to the house where I saw that GMC
Terrain was parked back on the street, so Kyle was home.
I
think part of my motive was that since Kyle had gone out without telling me he
was leaving I also wanted to be away not telling him either. Very juvenile I
know.
I
think I was also disappointed that after texting Kimball Edwards if he wanted
company this weekend, he just said maybe next week.
15 October 2022
Saturday
Even though I was out so late last night I was
up and ready to go to the Northwest Community Recreation Center by 9:30. Being
a Saturday morning I thought the place would be swarming but if there were 5
people in the work out area I’d be surprised. It being almost empty it allowed
me to try out the newer equipment without holding any one up. I pedaled a mile
and half on the stationary bike and then did some repetitions on the universal
gym equipment before getting on a tread mill and walked two miles at a leisure
pace with some inclines so my heart rate would go up. I’m not going to the gym
anymore to lose weight but to try and maintain my strength as I decline in years.
I
was at the gym for an hour and a half and stopped at Common Cents to get some
gas as I had used up so much yesterday. I filled the tank at $4.05 a gallon.
When I came home, I saw
that the GMC Terrain was gone so I
walked the pups around the block. As I came back to the house Kyle pulled up
and I guess he had a busy morning also as he sold two Carhartt jackets which he
had to take to the post office to send off and he sold the tool cabinet from
the garage that I bought for him back in 2020. He never really used it and
needed the garage wall to put up all his power tools. The guy he sold it to had
to meet in Centerville, so I guess that is why he was out and running around.
He
wanted us to go to Common Cents to get our Dr. Peppers and also the Terrain
needed air in its tires. I never told Kyle that I was just here last night
before coming home at midnight, nor did he ever mentioned that he knew I was
gone but had to have known because he was home before me last night.
Then we went to China
Delight to order some Chinese takeout. Kyle said that the Nissan Rogue goes out
at 11 tonight at the airport so I had to take a nap if I was going to stay up
late again, which I did.
I baked a chicken and
made rice with carrots and peas for the pups supper before taking them out for
a walk again in the late afternoon. . I love the change of
seasons living in Utah. In July and August, it was so hot I had to walk the
pups at 630 in the morning and 730 at night because of the heat radiating off
the sidewalks. Now I can walk them at 10 and 5 as its still 70 out and yet we
are crunching leaves under our feet now. I love that sound of fall even though
it means winter will be around the corner.
Kyle worked in the
garage this evening putting up racks and shelves to hang his power tools but
since there was nothing I could do to
help, I just came back into the house and watched season 2 of the Derry Girls. Kyle
did come up around 8 and asked if I wanted to go get an ice cream with him and
I just did to be with him. We went to Dairy Queen, but I didn’t finish my cone
because my stomach was a little upset.
A little after 11 Kyle
called and said it was time, so I went with him in the Honda FIT down to
Sutherland’s to retrieve the Rogue and then followed Kyle out to the airport.
Kind of ironic that yesterday I was out late driving around missing Kyle and tonight
I am out late with him even though he didn’t say two words to me.
I was finally able to
climb into bed at midnight, the same as I did yesterday. However around 1 in
the morning, I had an involuntary accident where I soiled my sheets. I must
have had some type of diarrhea, so I cleaned myself off, stripped the bedding,
through the sheets and bed mattress cover into washer and remade my bed. It was
nearly 1:30 before I was able to sleep in a clean bed. The mess was kind of
surprising because I had no indication, I was that sick.
One of the videos from
the Thursday January 6 Committee hear showed members of Congress frantically
trying to get help as the insurrectionists were storming the capitol. Nancy
Pelosi, the Speaker of the House is shown helping to save Mike Pence, the Vice
President of the United States from being killed by a mob inspired by Donald
Trump, the President of the United States. That is one for the history books.
Perhaps it’s just me
because I turn off when a Republican speaks but has anyone actually heard the
GOP's plan to solve inflation other than bitch about President Biden?
16 October 2022 Sunday
I got up around 7 but went back to bed after
writing in my journal. I must have been tired as I slept until 11 this morning
before getting up and making another apple cobbler. Then I took the pups for a
stroll as it was so pleasant out. At Carlos Bahena’s yard however, I saw that a
deer hide had been dropped on their front yard. It was disgusting and not sure
if it was thrown there or as Kyle Foote said perhaps a dog dragged it there
after the deer had been skinned somewhere else. I had Kyle help me dispose of
it in the trash bin so it wouldn’t attract critters or flies.
He
was already up working in the garage putting up his power tools on the wall
when we then went to get a drink at Common Cents. I needed to go to Wal-Mart to
buy some more treats and Caesar dog food and Kyle went with me to buy some
groceries for himself.
Upon returning we
started in cleaning out the space beneath the staircase. All the old movie projectors,
speakers, and other equipment from the old movie room we decided to just give
to Deseret Industries rather than post them on KSL for free. I also went
through my Christmas and Halloween stuff and got rid of a lot of it that I just
am not going to put up anymore. I don’t think Kyle had a clue what it meant to
be letting go of all these things and the memories that went with them. It was
kind of like part of my life was ending. I imagine it is somewhat like when old
people have to leave their homes for a room in a retirement room in a home. It
was another sign that I am winding down.
The
Honda Fit was packed with stuff both his and mine that is going to Deseret
Industries tomorrow. By 2 in the afternoon Kyle asked if I was hungry which I
wasn’t but went with him anyway to Costa Vida out at the airport where I had a
taco child meal.
I
didn’t see Kyle much after that and rested a bit in the afternoon before
deciding to drain and clean the hot tub. It wasn’t all that dirty, but it’s
been a while since I last emptied and cleaned it. It takes several hours to
empty it with the garden hose syphon, and it was nearly 6 in the evening before
I could finishing bailing out the remaining water and wiping it all down with
bleach. It took nearly two hours more for it to refill it. When it was topped off,
I put in a new filter and turned the power back on. By tomorrow it should be
all heated back up.
I
watched the 3rd Season of Derry Girls and finished it while the Hot
Tub was being refilled. I really liked the series, but the main character “Erin
Quinn” was a bit too much for me. My favorite character actually was the headmistress
of the Catholic School Sister George Michael. I watched a little of another
Netflix movie Catholic School which was about an all-boys Catholic School in
Rome. It was based on a true crime story where some elite students raped and
murdered some girls in 1975 which horrific details changed Italian rape laws.
17 October 2022 Monday
Today Kyle Foote turned 43 years old, and I
have known and loved him since he was 30 going on 31. I sent him a funny
birthday song by Arrogant Worms this morning and then while waiting for him to
stir, I had some breakfast and walked the pups.
Around
10 he asked if I wanted to go run some errands with him, which I did but he was
agitated over things I had no control over. He kind of was snappish at me which
ruined any pleasure I had being with him. First when I started to tell him
about cleaning the hot tub, he cut me off saying that he needed to concentrate on
the phone. He was calling several of Curry Connects vendors to see whether they
had been paid as he is worried that Naveen Pavuturi might be late or not pay
him at all for the work he’s done down there.
We then went to the post
office as that Kyle had sold three Carhartt coats and had to mail them off. He
kind of snapped at me again there which made me wonder why I bothered coming
along if I am such a pain.
We were going to take the Sierra Truck to get
it washed however the guy canceled after Kyle said the truck could not be taken
off road. So, we went on down to Deseret Industries and unloaded the Honda Fit
of all the electronics and household goods.
There he bitched that I
had donated all the scrap material left over from Kray Casper’s art project
saying it was all trash and I said it was not. He never goes to DI so how would
he know what is usable? I know some Mormon will use the bits of fabric and lace
in scrapbooking or some other project.
Anyway,
I didn’t bother talking to him the rest of the time home, not wishing to get
into a quarrel on his birthday, but we did stop and get drinks at Common Cents
before heading home for the rest of the afternoon.
I
decided to use my frustration with Kyle in something useful, so I decided to
clean up the old Movie Room which I had torn apart when I thought that Juan was
coming for it a while back. I thought he had his chance and never responded
back about it, so I’ve decided to keep it.
So, I put the mattress
pad back on along with the sheets and blankets and reorganized the room as a
guess room even though all of Kyle’s Carhartt jackets are on the poster bed. Who
knows I might someday use that room for guests or even a roomer.
After
that I took a nap until 4 in the afternoon when Kyle called up and said if I
was ready to go to the Texas Roadhouse. He was in a much better mood and the
last half of his birthday was much better than the first. I didn’t realize that
the Steakhouse didn’t even open until 4 and didn’t serve lunch at all.
We
were there in Bountiful at the Texas Roadhouse, and we got right in as Kyle
must have put us on the list and it was also kind of early although the place
looked crowded. I had no idea what I wanted to eat as they don’t have a Senior
meal, only a kids meal which they only serve to those under 12.
Anyway, Kyle had a
steak, buttered corn, and a loaded baked potato along with a Long Island Iced
Tea. I ordered just the Appetizer plate that had potato skins, jalapeno peppers, and
chicken wings. However, I filled up on their dinner rolls with honey butter and
hardly ate a thing and had to take it home. Kyle said that I always fill up on
the bread because I was raised to eat everything placed in front of me. I had
to laugh and said that he knew me too well. We had a nice birthday dinner the
two of us and with a $10 tip the bill was around $68.
I
said I wanted to buy him a birthday dessert, so we went into Salt Lake to the
Gourmandie Bakery on 3rd East. I didn’t want anything as I was
feeling really full and also, I knew I had apple cobbler at home that needed
eating. I remember them having a tasty treat called a Porcupine that I used to
buy for my team colleagues at Orchard elementary and for Pam Parks, but I didn’t
see any this time, but they had cannoli’s.
I would have bought one, but I was full from eating buns and butter.
We
were home by 6 where I gave Kyle a hug and then went to walk the pups. The
weather has been perfect in the 70’s still. Coming back towards the house I saw
two young women posing in front of the stone wall by our curb. They had a
bouquet and must have thought the wall was photogenic,
In the house I fed the
pups and just read from Jeremy Scott’s thriller “When the Corn Is Waist High”
about a serial killer in a small town in Indiana. I read it all the rest of the
evening and it had a surprise twist in the second half of the book. I put it
down around 10 when I couldn’t keep my eyes open any longer and the pups had
surrounded me wanting to go to sleep.
Happy
Birthday Kyle you old bugger.
18 October 2022 Tuesday
Today was not nearly as busy as yesterday and
about the only time Kyle Foote and I were together was to deliver 3 Carhartt
Jackets to the Post Office and to get a drink. Before that I went down to
Deseret Industries and dropped off a lot of Christmas items that didn’t fit
into the vehicle yesterday. While I was there, I bought some more string lights
for the front porch as they were only a dollar each. I also bought a Halloween
table cloth and a gardening hat. I don’t know why. Perhaps I am just conditioned
to celebrate Halloween and gardening.
I
finished reading “When the Corn Is Waist High” which had a twist at the end. It
was an enjoyable book but more of a thriller than a mystery as the author
revealed who the real serial killer was and not by any characters within the
book.
Another
beautiful fall day although the news said back east the Midwest and South is
being hammered by snow and freezing temperatures. The only downside is that
gnats are awful this year with thousands buzzing around the yards of the
neighborhood. They are more pesky then harmful, but they even get into the car
when you get in.
I took the pups out twice, fed them and after
6 I went out. I went to Quick Quack in North Salt Lake first and there I was
told that Kyle had let the membership lapse again but they let me go through
anyway. I wonder if he forgot or if he’s out of funds. He’s not been paid for
work he’s done on Curry Connect and won’t until the end of the month and I know
he’s not been ubering either.
I then went to the Rose
Park Library to drop off the book I finished and picked up another mystery.
From there I went to the Northwest Rec Center to do a little work out. I walked
a mile on the treadmill and a half a mile on the stationary bike. They only
equipment I used was one for strengthening my back. The place was rather
crowded tonight, and I stayed for just over an hour. I thought it was just as
important that I come down, as much as how much I do.
I was home by 8:00 this
evening and watched some TV mainly “The Simpsons” and “Bob’s Burgers.” The
Simpsons was lampooning the Ellen DeGeneres daytime show cancellation and the
accusations of a toxic work environment there. After that I watched a Time-Life
Program on the Rise of Fascism in Germany before calling it a night.
Kyle said Lisandro was
coming over to watch Hocus Pocus 2 downstairs and I am sure also to fuck. Earlier
in the evening Kimball Edwards texted me and asked if I wanted to come over
tomorrow night when he gets off work. How can I say no? Kyle has his fuck
buddies and I have a cuddle buddy.
19 October 2022
Wednesday
I was in the shower when Kyle Foote came up and
said that the Nissan Rogue was back at the Airport, and he needed me to take
him to there. He said he had forgotten that I told him I had my dental
appointment this morning at 10. So, I quickly got dressed and went with him to
the airport and went back to Sutherlands to wait for him to bring the Rogue
there so I could take him back to the house.
I
then rushed down to 106th South but made good time and made my
appointment on time. Again, I had different people working on me. The gal
numbed me up and started drilling on the cavity but after a half an hour she
had the dental school instructor come take a look. The consensus was that the
tooth had so much decay that even if they continued filling it, the tooth would
last only about a year and the best
course they suggested was to have the molar pulled.
I
wasn’t expecting that this morning but agreed so at 11 they sent me downstairs
to the first floor where oral surgery takes place. However, it sounded like the
team from upstairs didn’t communicate very well with those downstairs as they
didn’t even know my name just that they sent someone downstairs to have a tooth
extracted.
Fortunately, someone was
available to do the procedure as I was already numbed and partially drilled. However
I still had to have some numbing shots into the roof of my mouth. Midway
through the extraction the guy had to leave for a meeting and another person a
woman took over. I am not complaining because they both did a decent job, and
the tooth came out fairly easy compared to the last two teeth extracted. I was told
I didn’t need stitches but just to keep a gauze on the location of the missing
tooth. The extraction cost $95 but since I still had credit, I didn’t have to
pay anything. I wasn’t charged for the failed cavity drilling.
I
was out of there by 11:45 with a sore jaw and exhausted. However, I was mainly
concerned that the tooth extraction wouldn’t be healed in time for my date with
Kimball Edwards tonight.
When
I finally arrived back at the house, I saw that Kyle was gone. I took the pups
for a stroll around the block since I wasn’t able to do so this morning.
Afterwards I decided to try and plant the tulip bulbs I dug up last spring in
the front yard. I don’t know why I bothered really as I think most of them won’t
germinate but if I don’t know, I won’t know come spring.
After
that I started reading Anthony Horowitz’ mystery called The Magpie Murders
which setting is in 1955 in a village in England. It’s probably one of the
longer books I had checked out in a while. While it’s only 236 pages it’s in
smaller print font so more like 350 pages.
My
left jaw was so sore and tender that I
finally took some Tylenol for the pain, and I swapped out the gauze several
times all day and each time they were rather bloody. I then tried to take a nap
as that Kyle was still gone and my mouth was too raw to eat anything. I tried
some Malt O Meal but even that was painful, so I just had a bit of Power Ade to
drink.
I
woke up around 4 and saw that Kimball
had texted me saying he would be late getting home tonight, and he would text
me then. So, I wrote back to him that even though I really wanted to see him,
my filling turned into a tooth extraction which is still bleeding so it’s
better if we meet on another night. I don’t think he was probably as
disappointed as I was.
Anyway,
getting up I took the pups for another late afternoon walk because I didn’t
want to go out later as I was still feeling low. However again it was a
beautiful day in the mid 70’s with some of the trees losing their leaves but
not many. The weatherman Sterling Poulsen says there’s a change coming this
weekend with a chance of rain.
I
cooked some rice for the pups and used up the rest of the chicken so will have
to get some more tomorrow. While watching some TV Kyle came home and came
upstairs to visit a bit. He said he sold 7 Carhartt jackets today and
participated in the “heredigene population study” by donating blood for the
study. The study is done by folks in Utah and Idaho and is the largest in the United
States. While he hates needles, Kyle said “hopefully a few tablespoons of my
B-poz will help future generations.” If
I remember correctly that is the same blood type as was John Cunningham. I am O
negative.
After
Kyle left to unwind downstairs, I just watched some more TV to take my mind off
the pain which helped but little. I just watched a bit of this and that; not
too interested in anything. Because it’s October I watched a show called
Paranormal Cops similar to Ghost Adventures and I also watched a bit of Universal’s
Classics Dracula and The Mummy before calling it a night.
20 October 2022
Thursday
This morning Kyle Foote asked me to go to the
post office because he sold 4 more jackets. As I went out the front, I saw a
notice on the door from the Water Department that must have come this morning.
I gave it to Kyle, and he called on it and evidently, we have a major leak that
we did not know about, thousands of gallons. A water meter man was coming out,
so we went ahead to the post office and also got our drinks from Common Cents.
Kyle
shut off the outside water sprinkler system value and when the meterman came, he
looked at the meter on Dale Ridge and said nothing was wrong there and Kyle
shutting off the sprinkler valve seem to solve the problem, but it also means
he will have to dig the whole thing up again to see where it is leaking but not
until next Spring. Kyle was so mad at himself that he didn’t want me to talk to
him for a bit until he calmed down. However, I know next month’s water bill
will be in the hundreds of dollars but for how much I don’t know because there
was so much water lost.
I
took the pups for a walk and while passing this old man named Jim, he stopped
me to visit. Mike Romero and I used to call him the bishop although he wasn’t.
He’s lived here almost as long as I have, and we are the longest residence as
well as probably the oldest in this Reliance Home tract area of Westpointe. He
invited me to a party on 19 November as that his 80th birthday is
being celebrated at the nearby Mormon Ward. I said I would go. When he moved in,
he was married, and his wife was nearly blind, but she had passed away years
ago so he’s a widower.
When
I checked the mailbox, my ballot came in the mail today and I filled it out with
Kyle. We will send it in tomorrow. If there was no Democrat listed for an office,
then I left it blank. It’s better to be safe than sorry. The only exception was
for Evan McMullin, not that I liked him as much as I despise Mike Lee.
I absolutely hate the TV
ad of a Mormon mom yelling “no” at her bratty kids and then saying Mike Lee is
right to vote “no” on bills that actually helped families like hers.
I hear pundits say how Republicans
are going to take back the House and Senate because of the economy. If they do,
I am done with caring about politics if Americans are that stupid. However, if
Republicans are back in charge, they still won't have enough votes to override
President Bidens vetoes of their worse bills but still it will be 2 more years
of gridlock.
If there’s not enough
women and minorities and decent men willing to vote to keep fascism at bay,
then America deserves its fate.
Kyle took off this
evening to be with one of his boys I suppose. I read a bit more from the “Magpie
Murders” and tried to watch some TV this evening on the Curiosity Channel about
ancient Megapolises like Alexandria in Egypt and Tika in Guatemala.
I thought my jaw was
healing where the tooth was extracted but before going to bed it started
bleeding again and I had to stick a gauze in it. It’s also sore again. I think
the blood clot may have fallen out.
21 October 2022 Friday
The first month of Fall is over and it’s been
dry so far with hardly any rain and lots of warm temperatures but that is
supposed to change this weekend.
I
had a restless sleep and was up and down, some because of my sore mouth where
the tooth was pulled and some because Kyle Foote spent the night somewhere
else. I remember mom saying that she couldn’t go to sleep until she knew all us
kids were home at night. I guess I am a little like Mom. I worry.
Anyway,
he was home sometime in the morning with the Nissan Rogue instead of the GMC Terrain,
but he never told me where he was nor did I ask, figuring it really is none of
my business.
Mike Romero came over
around 11 to bring me a large television set he doesn’t use anymore while he
was on his way to the Bish RV place to “winterize” his trailer which is still up
there being repaired. He said he might just trade it in. He didn’t stay long,
and Kyle wanted to drop off another Carhartt jacket at the Post Office and mail
in our ballots there. Afterwards we went and bought our Dr. Peppers and came
back to the house.
I
didn’t interact with Kyle or anyone else for the matter for the rest of the day
until after feeding the pups he came up and wanted to borrow my phone so he
could change the password for Netflix because he didn’t want Danny Montoya to
have access to the account anymore.
I
took the pups out twice and took a nap and that was about the high lights of my
day except I did make some homemade cheese and macaroni casserole which I gave
more than half to Michael, and I also made a quart of onion soup since the
weather is about to change.
My
toothless jaw is slowly healing and has stopped bleeding so much, but I still
feel rather listless. I miss being with Kimball Edwards but when I am feeling
down like this, I just rather be alone with my pups.
22 October 2022 Saturday
My sore jaw kept me awake. I couldn’t sleep past
2:30 so I got up and started typing up my journal from 1972 and then got distracted
and started compiling my memories from the 1950’s and 1960’s.
I was so sexually
active in 1972 while trying to be a good Mormon boy that I left many days blank,
or I wrote instead memories of my youth. I finally quit typing around 4 and
tried to get some more sleep.
This morning it was
super windy here at Westpointe near the airport, so the weekend storm was
heading our way. I am pretty sure the 70s are gone now for the rest of the
year. I was surprised that it was raining some today even, because it wasn’t supposed
to until Sunday.
When it was clear enough out, I walked the
pups and later in the day went with Kyle Foote to mail off a jacket at the Post
Office and to get our drinks. It was kind of a very cool day and finally felt like
fall. It finally feels like October.
I had some onion soup
for my supper and made some scallop potatoes for Kyle. I also microwave some precooked
Hormel roast beef that I had bought the other day for him, but I didn’t have
anything but the soup. Homemade French onion soup hit the spot on a cold rainy
night.
My jaw is still aching but not bleeding. The
pain is manageable but concerning that the space hasn’t healed by now. The pain
seems to be radiating up into my face.
I
spent most of the day reading from “Magpie Murders” and on the computer typing
up memoirs from the 1960’s and early 70’s. Kyle was gone again this evening so
around 7 I thought it was time to make
some hot chocolate and curl up in bed to read my mystery with all my pups in
bed with me. Sounds like a plan this wet gloomy evening
Today
is my niece’s 51st birthday and would have been my Grandpa William’s
120th birthday.
23 October 2022 Sunday
It rained for most of the night and had puddled
up in the back yard when I let the pups out. I fixed myself some oatmeal and
toast for breakfast because my jaw still ached, and it was too sore to eat
anything where I had to bite down. Kyle Foote didn’t stay out all night last
night like he had before as I saw that
the Terrain was parked on the curb.
I
had a hankering for Corn Chowder, so I went to Lucky’s to buy some ingredients
that I didn’t have at the house. I made such a big kettle of it that even after
eating some I bottled 4 pints to put in the refrigerator for later. I still
have a pint of onion soup left even.
Kyle
sold another jacket, so we went to the post office, then to Common Cents for
our drinks, and then we went up to Lowe’s in Bountiful. Kyle had earlier
insulated the hoses to the air conditioners that are below the deck and was
short a few feet. They didn’t have what he wanted, but he said what he had
insulated was probably good enough.
Coming
back, I could see that the snow line was on the bench area of the mountains. The
homes above the refinery in North Salt Lake had snow on their roofs. We didn’t
have any snow down by the Jordan River but just a bit of sprinkles off and on
after the good rain we had last night.
I
typed for much of the day my recollections and was in my sweats trying to stay
warm until Kyle changed the thermostat from cool to heat. I spent much of the afternoon
and evening weekend cleaning out a bedroom closet of stuff that I know will be
tossed when dead.
The pack rat archivist, genealogist, historian
in me saved too many things that I doubt anyone cares about. I have several
college newspapers from 1969 when i was a freshman that I am sending off to Cypress College for their
collection. It was a brand-new school
back then.
I have 60 years of old
letters that I’ve saved that need cleaning out. We didn’t have email back then,
so we wrote to one another.
I sat in the lazy boy in
the evening and went through two shoe boxes filled with old letters sorting
them by decades. I now need to type them up if I want to save them. Most of them
are letters from Grandma Johnson.
I also have journals
from 1968 that I am going through and trying to figure out what to do with them. I have been typing them up on the
computer so far to try and save them.
Most of my clutter is
not material things worth anything to anyone but memories of long-gone people
and places. It’s a collection of a lifetime of memorabilia of an unremarkable
life of person; coming to terms with being a homosexual in a homophobic world. However,
history is made from what is left behind.
It was 35 years ago
today that I was speaking in front of a crowd of Gays and Lesbians at the old Backstreet Club in 1987. I had
barely come out of the closet in 1986 but hit the ground running trying to
build community in the middle of the AIDS crisis. I have no idea where I got
the nerve. I just knew we had to do it because no one else would. Back then we
had no people with deep pockets or allies as we were still thought of as
deviants and plague spreaders. If we didn’t love ourselves who was going to?
24 October 2022 Monday
The water bill came today from the leaking
pipe. We used 20,000 gallons before we were notified and were aware there was a
problem. I was billed $994 dollars; more than I spent all last year. I told
Kyle Foote he had to help with the bill, and he said he’d call tomorrow to see
if we can pay in installments.
I thought my jaw would
stop hurting by now, but it hasn’t let up. I am sure there’s an infection as
the pain radiates out into the left side of my face.
Actor and comedian
Leslie Jordan died from a car crash in Los Angeles. He was only 67. They aren’t
sure if he died from the crash or whether he had a medical emergency. In either
case Face Book is lit of with people mourning his death. I think we Gay men had
a special affinity for the actor from his roles on Will and Grace as a nemesis
to Karen walker and of course and Brother Boy in Sordid Lives. When I saw first
saw the news, I was shocked and then sadden but we all have to go some time.
25 October 2022 Tuesday
I finally broke down this morning and called
the Roseman Clinic at 8 to make an appointment to see why I still had so much
pain from last Wednesday tooth extraction. I haven't been able to sleep well
for 5 days but thought I could tough it out. Last night I had enough of being a
stoic.
They have an urgency
care facility that opened at 8:30 so I drove down in a light mist of rain and
snow. I was able to see someone almost immediately and they said the blood clot
had fallen out and I had a dry pocket. They irrigated it with some antiseptics and
injected this foul-tasting paste into the hole. They also gave me some of the stuff to inject into the
socket myself. I was told if I was not better by Friday, I will have to have
some antibiotics.
The treatment was free
as it was a follow up and I made another dental appointment for November 15th
at 10. I was already feeling better when I left, and I stopped at the Deli
Donut shop on 27th South and State Street as I hadn’t had any
breakfast or my coffee. I bought 2 glaze donuts, 2 buttermilk donuts, and two
old fashions for about $7.50.
I then came back home and worked on some of my
memoirs from 1969 before Kyle Foote came up around 11:30 to see how I was and
asked me to go get our drinks. He said he had been on the phone with the water department,
and we may be able to pay in installments but only if we show we have fixed the
repair. Kyle said he would go to Lowes and buy what will be needed to show them
receipts but will not actually fix the pipe until spring. The valve is shut off
now, so we aren’t losing any more water.
He also said to me that
Uber had changed some of its fee structure and it might not be financially
worth it to continue to Uber and he is also wondering about keeping Turo going
as car rentals are way down. I think also he might be way behind on his car
payments as he hasn’t had much income and Naveen Pavuturi still owes him
$10,000. I can’t worry about that.
I went back to bed
around 1:30 in the afternoon after walking the pups and slept until nearly 4:30
when I walked the pups again. It was chilly out today only in the mid-forties, definitely
sweats and hoodie weather.
I fed the pups, ate
some corn chowder and garlic bread for my supper. My jaw was feeling much
better but still kind of raw. I watched some horror stories on TV before
calling it a day and went to bed. I applied some more goop into my jaw, and it
was really hard to see if I am doing it right.
26 October 2022
Wednesday
Today is Chuck Whyte’s birthday. My jaw ached a
bit today but not nearly like before so not sure if its healing on its own or
the paste, I try to put in there, is working.
I
finished typing up the letters I had saved from the 1960s and then tossed them.
No one will want them after I am gone but at least I have copied them. Besides
no one would have been able to read Grandma Johnson’s chicken scratching and
improvised spelling except them who read her letters over the years.
I think I must have
gotten my sentimental streak from my Grandma Johnson who spent most of her life
out in the country on a farm in Texas. She wrote letters almost weekly to us
living in Southern California.
Phones were expensive
and there was no emails back then. I don't recall my parents or my Williams
Grandparents being that particularly sentimental, but Grandma Johnson would
save poems, write about mockingbirds
singing in a concert, how her yellow roses were blooming, and make little
comments about everything. I've been accused of being sentimental by Kyle
Foote, perhaps that why I love history so much.
I went to Trolley
Square with Kyle and while he was getting a haircut, I walked around the place.
There were phantoms everywhere; of fun times and places long gone like the
movie theaters, Banana Republic, the ice cream parlor and so much more. Trolley
Square used to be the "go to mall" in the 70's and 80's just to hang
out but now it seems like just a shell of its former glory. The Spaghetti
Factory, Desert Edge Pub, Williams Sonoma, Tabula Rasa, and Cabin Fever seems
to be the only places that have survived over the years. I noticed that even
though it was noon there was probably no more than 10 people walking around
including me.
Kyle paid $35 for a
haircut at the barbers. I saw that almost all their prices for haircuts, beard
trims and the like was around $35. I would never pay for a haircut. My
Vietnamese barber is just fine. I can get a haircut, beard trim, and leave a
tip for under $20.
When I told Kyle how it
felt walking around the place, he said that I look at places and think of what
used to be there while he thinks of what is there or will be. I didn’t tell him
it’s because of all the phantoms I see. It comes from getting old. He wouldn’t
know that yet.
As the Grand Duchess
said in the movie Anastasia "I am the past. I like it. It's sweet and
familiar. And the present is cold and foreign. And the future? Fortunately, I
don't need to concern myself with that."
While in the car as we came
home from Trolley Square, Kyle said something peculiar to me; that he thought
he’d like to have been a small dairy farmer. That took me by surprise because
he had never expressed that desire to me ever. Another fantasy I suppose.
It was misty out for
much of the day but cleared up enough for me to walk the pups twice and to go
to the Post Office to mail off the package of old Hoofbeat Newspapers from 1969
to Cypress. I also went to Smith’s to get some food for Taco Bell and treats
for TJ. I also filled the Honda Fit up. Gas is at $4.09 most everywhere but I
got 3 cents off at Smiths. I spent $35.
I cooked a lot today.
Don’t know exactly why but I made some Chili Verde, some Pinto beans, and
Spanish Rice. I had a smothered burrito and rice for my supper.
Kyle came up while I
was feeding the pups and he said he got the job to design the Loco Burger place
in Kearns. He was very excited about that as he will just be doing the design
and be a consultant rather than do all the physical work that he did at Curry
Connect which he said was a learning experience for him.
I watched some
television tonight switching channels but did watch a few episodes of Guillermo
del Toro's Cabinet of Curiosities on Netflix. I had to fast forward through
much of them as they were pretty gruesome. I did watch some of the first season
of Amy Schumer. She’s funny but sometimes even too gross for me and I fast
forward through her show too.
I absolutely despise Mike
Lee’s attack ads on Evan McMillan and President Biden. The fact that they appeal
to so many Utahns scares the hell out of me. What is wrong with these people? It’s
not just a difference of opinion over policies but a trump driven cult. I never
liked the policies of the republican party before but now they seem to be
totally broken and taken over by lunatics. I posted my opinion on Facebook, but
I am preaching to the choir because some of my friends posted the same sentiments.
Roy Zhang wrote, “They
are mindless cult followers who think they are "Christians" I am
fairly certain my gay liberal self is much more Christlike then these idiots.
WWJD trumpublicans.”
Roland Ron Holmgren
added, “I am reading a book that somewhat explains Republicans thought process.
Ignorant, uninformed and believers because they don't want to think. Pa voted
for Republican candidates and that is good enough for them.
Russell Pack said, “I'm
on your exact same page,” and Dan Fahndrich replied , “Wow, great comments (and
I believe TRUE). Yes, Utah has a Cult nature but many other people, in other
states, have also been drinking the water.”
27 October 2022
Thursday
Frost on the pumpkins this morning if I had any
pumpkins this year. There's a sprinkling of white on neighbors’ roof tops here
in Westpointe near the Jordan River. I
paid $177 this morning on line to register the Honda Fit for another year. Only
time I ventured out of the house was to take the pups for their walks and to go
to Common Cents with Kyle Foote otherwise I was home all day. My jaw is getting
less painful so that is good but still sore. However, I felt well enough to
clean the front room and mop the pups pee spots that I had let go when I was
not feeling well.
Kyle
was gone this evening and I read some from the Magpie Murders and watched some Amy
Schumer episodes. Halloween is fast approaching but it doesn’t feel like it
much to me as I haven’t decorated very much, just outside with my pumpkins over
the porch and garage light fixtures and a Halloween flag of a black cat.
28 October 2022 Friday
This morning Kyle Foote called me and asked if
I wanted to do some community service and I said sure. I guess he took some
twink he knows Halloween costume shopping and when they were at Decades on
State Street he talked to Micheal Repp and his bar manager Lynn L Katoa who are
opening Club Verge next door. They were
in a quandary on how or hang the Verge banner over the entrance of the club so
Kyle volunteered saying he would do it for them. That is when he called me, as
he was coming back to the house to get some power tools.
So, he took me downtown
to Club Verse after getting our drinks at Common Cents. We were there around 11
and there was a hive of activity going on trying to get the place ready for a
Grand Opening tonight. I helped where I could, wiping down tables and legs that
were covered with dust, bringing out trash and taking pictures of Kyle putting up
their banner on a “lift” equipment. Lynn
Katoa was really grateful because he said no one there knew how to do it
correctly.
I also helped with Kyle
and the lighting technician who was putting up the strobe lights on the rafters
and connecting wires to the sound equipment.
The beer distributors
started arriving with their product to put in the walk-in cooler around 12:30.
I imagine the club just has a beer license for now as I didn’t see any hard
liquor come in.
I finally met Michael
Repp one of the owners for the first time to whom Kyle introduced me as the Gay
historian. Since I am an activist as well as a historian, Repp and I both said
we will be doing things for the community until we drop. I said we probably
will be doing community work even when we drop.
The coolers behind the
long south end bars needed to be filled with product and Kyle volunteered to
fill the cases by stocking them. I helped him by carrying out cases of beer from
the walk-in cooler as Kyle organized the cabinets. It reminded me of my first
job after high school working as a beer delivery swamper for H & L Distributors. I hated it
then and I hate it now, but life is full of cycles.
There was this one character
helping the cute cub-like lighting technician. He came in wearing cut off
shorts barely concealing his crotch and just about the public line. He also
wore a cut off tank top just below his nipples and was wearing flip flop sandals. His hair on one side of his
head was shaved to the scalp but on the other side his hair was long to his
shoulder. He had a 40-ish looking truck driver face, wearing no discernible
makeup but was well known to the lighting guy and very helpful to him. Later I told Kyle that he
reminded me of a character that used to hang around the old In-Between Bar back in the 80’s named Wheezy. That was when
Kyle informed me that he was a “she” and transgendered. Well shut my mouth. Welcome
to the 21st Century Queer world I suppose.
Mike Repp is going to
have a nice community bar. I hope it is well supported. We have so few bars
left in Salt Lake that give us our own space. I asked Kyle if he was going to
go to the Grand Opening tonight and he said no that what he likes do at the
bars is the construction aspect only.
We left about 3:30 having
spent more than 4 hours doing our “community service” at the bar. I told Kyle
when the club opens tonight, and the party begins no one will know how much
volunteer work we did behind the bar stocking those three coolers and me
walking backing and forth for hours.
I was certainly tired
when we left, and Kyle was hungry, so we stopped at Rio Café on 4th
South In front of Smith’s Market place where he got himself a Tostado, but I
didn’t want anything. I just wasn’t that hungry, and I really don’t care for
Rio Café’s food.
Anyway, we were back
home by 4 and I took the pups for a walk since I hadn’t this morning. Then I
sent to Kyle all the photos I took of him putting up the Verge banner. I would
have taken more but the battery in my phone died.
Kyle went downstairs, I
fed the pups and finally ate a bite myself. Kyle said earlier when I asked him
what his plans were for the evening, said that he was staying home and resting but
I noticed that by 7 he was gone. Well, when I was his age, my dick led me out also.
I watched a bit of
television and read some from the Magpie Murders before finally going to bed
around 10 after a tiresome day. Kyle said that going to Club Verge with him
gave me something to journal about. So true.
Looks like Club Verse
had a successful night. Club Verse posted some pictures of their grand opening
and I saw what a nice job Kyle and I did stocking the three coolers with
product this afternoon. While the party was hopping down there, I was hopping
into bed with the pups and a good book. Old queens don't dance we just fade
away into comfy beds.
In
the news some Right Wing Nutcase attacked Nancy Pelosi’s husband with a hammer in their San Francisco home demanding
to know where she is. Certainly, another MAGA follower.
29 October 2022
Saturday
Kyle
Foote came up around 10 this morning and said that Juan said he was coming over
between 11 and 12 to get the foam mattress bed finally. Kyle said he wasn’t
going to be home. I was a little put out but then thought it doesn’t matter. So,
I stripped the bed again and made it ready for it to be removed. Juan showed up
around 11:30 with his son to help him carry the frame and mattress downstairs
to their truck. I was glad just to watch because it was a bear to drag it
upstairs last Spring.
I went to the barbers
and grocery store after Juan and his son left. The hair cut place was empty
when I got there around noon so I was able to get in right away but there was
this young Vietnamese kid there I hadn’t seen
before and the old man who usually cuts my hair and does a beard trim
wasn’t around. The guy started cutting my hair and then I saw the older man
come out who I have been seeing for years. The young guy did an okay job and
much quicker but when I went to pay, I was charged $22 for the haircut and trim
which was nearly $7 more than I used to pay. He added on a 30 percent tip which
was $6.50 so I almost ended up paying the same amount that Kyle did at Trolley
Square. I don’t know if prices changed, or it was this new kid. Oh well I only
get a haircut these days every one or two months.
I needed to buy some groceries for me and the
pups. A dozen eggs is now $3.98. However, the Price of eggs is not a reason to
vote for Fascists. Just saying. I went and got a drink by myself because I had
no idea where Kyle was.
He called me around
3:00 and asked if there was any Chili Verde left and I said certainly and when
he finally came home, he fixed himself a bowl. He said while visiting with me that
he had a meeting with Micheal Repp this morning because he had gone to the Grand
Opening last night as kind of a helper and observer. I saw him in some of the
pictures that Verse had posted on line. Micheal wanted his views on how to make
the club more stream line and accessible and asked if he’d come back tonight at
10 to observe the space once again to offer suggestions how to make the space work
the best.
I told Kyle that I am
considering not having any more work done at Roseman, with dental partials or
fixing my tooth gap. Ever since I have been down there for the broken tooth,
they have been filling cavities and pulling teeth and really making my mouth
sore when I didn’t really even had a tooth ache. The shot they gave me on the
roof of my mouth when they extracted the broken tooth still is sore as well as
the tooth next to it and the tooth, they pulled over a week ago is only now
starting to heal but also still kind of aches. I wonder why am I subjecting
myself to all this pain which seems so unnecessary as I eat so little now that
I don’t know if the quality of my life would improve especially since my
insurance won’t pay for the partials.
I walked the dogs a
couple of times this morning and afternoon, as the weather was pleasant but in
the 50’s. This morning while out, I notice that the Bahena family was back from
Baja California in Mexico, so I brought back over to them all their mail. Carlos
later brough me a few souvenirs from their trip.
I tried watching
Netflix's Cabinet of Curiosity the other day because, well it is Halloween
almost but even with great actors like F Murry Abraham and Tim Blake Nelson it
was too gory and dark even for me. So, I will stick with It's the Great Pumpkin
Charlie Brown and Abbot and Costello Meets Frankenstein from now on and may be
even the Nightmare Before Christmas.
I went through my DVD’s to plan out my Halloween
movie watching weekend. No more gory cable TV
crap for me. I have lots of snacks, lots of cozy comforters, and piles
of puppies. So, I am set.
The days of going to
the Gay bars to dance the night away are long gone for me. Although it was a
blast at Backstreet, the in Between and the Sun back in the day. We old time
Stonewall Gays were so creative and campy at Halloween but there is a season for all things and now it’s
the season of staying home for me and letting the LGBTQ+ folks do their thing.
I can tell most of my
friends are older also because they made the same comments about the Cabinet of
Curiosity and gore in general. My cousin Steph Williams wrote, “I like the old
Horror films not these ones they have now that are just too scary and gory.” Erick
Myers agreed, “I’m with you on that one, Ben. Life is already gory and
terrifying enough. I don’t find dark and creepy entertaining at all.” Russell Packs said, “We watched the first two
episodes and then said, NO MORE. And we generally like horror movies.” Baron Cureton who is only about a third of my
age even wrote, “Yah it got a little spooky and dark when watching this occult
episode.”
30 October 2022 Sunday
I spent the day alone with the pups and didn’t
see Kyle Foote at all. I made a Samhain pot roast for Sunday dinner but not
sure why I bothered as no one is here to eat it and I'm not really hungry. I
think I still cook out of habit when really,
I think I'd be just as happy with a bowl of Post Toasties for supper. I cook
chicken and rice, sometimes barley, for the pups' supper so at least I get to
cook for them.
I used to have dinner
parties to indulge my need to cook but when Covid19 shut everything down those
days went away. It’s just me and the pups for the most parts because Kyle, when
he does eat here, he takes his plate downstairs rather than sit with me. Everything
in its season I suppose. Back in the 80s I also cooked and supervised huge
community Thanksgiving dinners for 50 to 70 people. Those were fun times
So, this morning I put
a pot roast in the oven with chopped potatoes and carrots thinking Kyle and I might
have a nice Sunday dinner together but when I called him at 1 this afternoon to see if he wanted to go get a
drink, he said he was at Club Verse already. He never said a thing to me about
going back to the club and I didn’t hear from him for the rest of the day. So,
I went and got a drink without him.
I
walked the pups twice and finished reading The Magpie Murders which was really
like a novel within a novel. It was interesting but kind of deceiving because
you didn’t know it was two stories until you were already invested in the
characters in the first part.
I
didn’t watch any television like I was going to do as I just kind of felt
lonely since Kyle took off without saying a word to me. Not that I cared that
he has a life beyond me, but I suppose it’s the lack of consideration of
letting me know he’s going to be gone.
Around
7 I was so bored I needed to get out of the house. I was kind of wanting a
treat but actually I was feeling kind of bloated, so I think the idea of
eating was just an excuse to get out.
I
haven’t heard anything about picking up vehicles for Turo is a while and so I
drove down to Sutherland’s and saw that only the Sierra Pickup was there, so I
imagine the GMC Traxx and the Nissan Rogue are rented out.
It
was completely dark out at 7 now so I drove into the city to see the lights. I
even drove by Club Verge which has large garage type windows so you can see
into the place. I just drove by, but it wasn’t too busy, which is typical for a
Sunday night. I saw the Terrain parked on 6th South so Kyle had to
have still been in the bar either schmoozing the owners or perhaps some boy.
Good for him. I left then and drove back through 200 South and was astounded by
how the street between 5th and 6th West has been completely
transformed with 4 and 5 story apartments on both sides of 200 South. Not much
of a trace is left of the old there anymore.
I
wanted to see some Halloween houses, so I drove through Rose Park which usually
goes all out but only saw a few houses with decorations more than just colored
lights. I was home by 8 to stay in for the rest of the night.
It
know that it’s Samhain and the season of change for I feel that there is
something shifting with Kyle, and I am not sure what. He doesn’t uber anymore
and the Turo gig seems to be winding down. He’s finished with Curry Connect and
I hope he gets the money he is owed. I have no idea what his expenses are any
more and I know he started a new business he called Vibe Factory but spelled slightly different to be a
consultant in designing spaces. Perhaps he’s making connections with Micheal
Repp he can use later.
As
for me I am winding down and just going through my old journals especially the
one from 50 years ago, 1972. I was so messed up then with “not direction home,”
trying to make sense of the world by joining the Mormon Church with their
delusion of knowing the meaning of life.
31 October 2022 Monday
Happy Halloween. I worked this morning trying
to reconstruct some of 1972 that I didn’t include in my journal because I was
cruising Long Beach for sex when at the same time, I was trying to be a good
Mormon Boy. Organizing my journals i realized the best things about the
"good old days" was that I wasn't good, and I wasn't old. Sometimes
you will never know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory.
I said Merry Samhain to
my pagan friends this morning as another turn of the wheel is completed and we
enter the dark times. I said, “have a safe and happy Halloween and remember
your ancestors and those who came before.”
Samhain marks the end
of the lighter half of the year and the beginning of the darker half. It is the
time of year when ancestors and other departed souls are especially honored. Samhain
is one of the eight annual festivals and is held on October 31 to November 1.
I was going to take off
this morning and disappear without telling Kyle Foote, like he did me yesterday,
but after taking the pups for a stroll, later I saw that he had taken off again,
so I didn’t bother.
Michael Romero called
this morning wanting to know if I knew a groomer for Coco because the Dog
School told him they no longer take dogs over 10 years old. That’s a change. He
also said he signed up for a study for the Respiratory Virus that is going
around in which he would get paid $1300. He said I should sign up, but the dead
line is tomorrow, so I know I won’t.
I went and got myself a
drink from Common Cents and went to Smith’s to buy some candy to hand out
tonight which will be the first time I have in ages. I usually turn the lights
off and stay with my pups to keep them quiet as they go berserk whenever
someone is at the door. Not sure why I decided this year except that the
weather is so pleasant.
Back at the house I
even grabbed a ladder and strung more holiday lights on the front of the house
to keep myself busy and not worry about Kyle.
Kyle came home around
1, didn’t tell me where he’s been or whether he got his money from Curry
Connection yet. However, he asked me to go get a drink and I went even though I
had already gotten one just to be with him. He said that Club Verse has hired
him as a consultant, and he had an appointment at 2 with the Loco Burger people
in Kearns so I didn’t see him again for the rest of the day.
I had bought two large
bags of Tootsie Roll treats that Smith had on sale for $6 that would normally
had been $10. I figured what doesn’t get taken I would eat eventually. I found
some of my old pirate costume and around 5 began sitting outside getting ready
for the ghouls, hobgoblins, witches, and Princesses. As it then really turned chilly,
I thought the heck with that and went back in the house and put on my
California poncho to stay warm.
I had put out this hard
plastic skull that I have had at least 20 years with my pirate hat on it but
when I went pack outside, I thought that someone must have stolen it but left
the hat. Oh well I guess they thought they needed it more than I did and
perhaps they did.
I put on the Criterion
Channels Universal Classic Monster movies like Frankenstein, Dracula, and the
Mummy just to have something as background noise as I sat on the entry steps to
be able to answer the door. My house is a split level, so I spent much of the
night sitting on my stair steps but better that than running up and down them.
Kyle came in around
8:30 when the trick or Treaters were winding down. I gave him all the “Dot”
candy from the Tootsie Roll back because they are about the only kind of candy
he likes.
I had a lot more kids
then I thought I would have just a few elementary kids mostly teenagers, some
in costumes but mostly not. Didn’t see any of the usual hobos, clowns, or
vampires. Little girls were princesses and little boys were dinosaurs. Most of
my visitors were Polynesian or Mexican so definitely different traditions. One
girl even asked if I had a plastic bag, so I got her one lol. Kids .
I didn't care whether
they were in costume or young or old. I just doled out the candy and said happy
Halloween. At first, I let the kids take candy from the bowl and most took one
or two pieces. Later at night when teens came out and I said help yourself they
grabbed fists full. Lol. So, after that I doled it out myself so it would last
through the night. My last trick or treater came about 9:45 and at 10:15 I turned off the lights and went
to bed. It being a school night I figured most kids had gone home except for
the hooligans.
October was an unusually warm month often in the mid-70s and with very little rain. Many of the trees are still green and only a few have changed their colors. I am not sure why, but I felt lonely this month. Perhaps it has something to do with the holidays and the fun times I once had with friends. I had two teeth pulled this month and the last one hurt like hell and is still sore, so I am considering just stop going to Roseman for a while.
November
1 November 2022 Tuesday
Well, another Halloween has come and gone,
and Halloween is exhausting at my age. I
just realized as I am sore this morning going up and down the stairs. Putting
up holiday lights earlier in the day, climbing up and down a ladder probably
didn’t help any either.
Welcome the last full
day of Autumn and the darkest month so light candles and burn favorite incense.
Such a beautiful dawn this All-Saints Day in Salt Lake City. The eastern skies
over the mountains were ablaze with yellow and pinks, and oranges and blue. It
was very spectacular. It was extremely windy for much of the day ahead of a
coming storm this week, so the weather meteorologists
say.
When walking the pups
this morning I found the plastic skull after all
in front of the garage.
It renewed my faith in trick or treaters.
I heard from Bill
Poore's brother Ross that Bill is not well. He sent me this on my other Face
Book account, with a picture of Bill
with an ugly wound in his forehead. He wrote "This is Bill. Had surgery
for cancer next week at Huntsman. Will keep you posted if interested. He has no
phone and wrecks two cars recently. Not doing well." I also learned that Bill
has not had internet for at least a year also. I need to go see him if he has
visitors. I called up to the Huntsman Center in the afternoon however they had
no record of his being admitted. Perhaps he’s at the Veterans. I never heard
any more from Ross either.
Kyle Foote needed me to
print off some legal documents so he can sue Naveen Pavuturi in small claims
court for the $10,000 owed him. We went to America First Credit Union inside
Lee’s Market in North Salt Lake to have the documents notarized and while there
we bought some more Lactaid Milk for Kyle. From there we went and bought drinks
at Common Cents then came home to work cleaning the garage so I can park the Honda
Fit back inside for the winter.
While we were out
driving around Kyle said what I kind of figured out that he’s probably going to
get out of the Turo Business and sell the Chevy Traxx for sure as it needs the
most work. He has to decide whether to keep the GMC Terrain or the Nissan
Rogue. He prefers driving the Terrain, but the Rogue is newer and has less
issues. I think he will keep the Sierra Pickup and we will probably sell the
Sonoma when we get it repaired. I suppose Kyle will concentrate now on his new
endeavors. Turo and Ubering helped him keep going after the failed Build Team
business.
We worked in the
garage putting things away and I helped
until around 2:30 when my sister Donna Jones called just to visit. It’s been a
while but nothing new. She still never goes anywhere and still tries to diet.
Today is Kevin Jones’ 43rd birthday and Donna said he started a new
job he likes better. I am glad she has Kevin with her but actually I could care
less about him.
I walked the dogs twice
and after feeding them I got ready to go to the Men’s Support group at the
Pride Center that Bill Blevins runs with Doug Taylor. I first went to Walmart
on 13th South and bought some Caesar dog food and treats before heading
to the Pride Center
I sat next to Paul
Milne and Dwight Wood which made us the old farts corner. LOL. There were a few
younger newer men who mainly were just coming out of the closet. Doug Taylor
did a bio-spot light on himself and what a rough upbringing he had with his
awful Mormon dad belittling him and dragging him all over Alaska. His
upbringing made me appreciate all the more what a stable home life my parents
gave me even if we didn’t have much.
After the meeting I
drove by Club Verse and then before going home, stopped at Smith’s and bought some
treats for myself to have in the house so I wouldn’t load up on candy.
I
was suspended form Face Book for 19 hours for posting lyrics from an old Sea
Shanty on this Vintage Male group that had pictures of two sailors. I posted
“Blow the Man Down” which is the second verse to Come All Ye Young Sailors Who
Follow the Sea.” I was told by their algorithm artificial intelligence that I
had violated their Community Standards. They must be on a tirade because Andy
Dalrymple said he was warned for posting a side nude on my Bad Boy Site. Oh
Well. I need a break from it any way.
At 10 this morning I received a call
from Mike Romero asking if he could bring Coco over because his catheter is
acting up again and need to go see about it. I told him that I would drive him
as that he shouldn’t be driving to South Jordan when he’s so sick and also it
was raining here .
So, after coming over and dropping off Coco we took the
Mountain View Corridor down and the further south we went the more the rain had
turned to snow. At the South Jordan Clinic, it was really coming down. After
dropping Mike off at the emergency entrance, I went to try and find a parking
space. I had never seen the parking lot so filled but
after driving around several times I managed to find one not too far
from the building.
I went inside to find him, and he
was already being seen by a urologist when I get there so I just waited and
read some from a new mystery. I was set to wait as long as it took but actually
Mike was done in little more than a half an hour. They had to put a larger tube
in him and said that he should be changing it monthly now.
Coming back into Salt Lake we
basically was driving in a blizzard but
not white out condition and we were back to Fernleaf by 12:20. I retrieved Coco
for Mike and then he went home. I called Kyle Foote and asked if he wanted to
go get our drinks, which he did. He also needed to mail off another Carhartt
jacket package and buy ink cartridges for his printer downstairs.
We were done running around by
almost 2, so he fixed himself some tomato soup and I ate some of my corn
chowder. It was definitely soup weather.
I took a nap as I had been up since
4:30 and slept until near 4 in the afternoon. The rain and snow had stopped so
I took the pups for their only walk today during the interval.
Kyle left this evening to present
his proposal to Club Verge and I watched episodes of the Simpsons and Bob’s
Burger. I also watched “O Brother Where Art Thou” on Hulu. It is one of my
favorite Coen Brothers films. I especially love the country music and all of
the characters. Later I watched some films on Netflix and HBO but nothing
serious before calling it a day.
3 November 2022 Thursday
Working
of compiling my journals and memoirs from the early 70’s when I was 19 to 24.
It was a very messy time, coming to terms with being a homosexual and being a
spiritual person. I thought they were incompatible.
When I took the pups for a stroll at
10 this morning, I noticed that Kyle Foote was gone already, and I didn’t see
nor hear from him for the rest of the day. The only time I left the house today
was to walk the dogs twice and go to Lucky’s to buy some Chicken Thighs for the
pups supper.
Later I saw Maxx with something his mouth which at first, I
thought was a chewy he found until he jumped on my bed, and he dropped a dead
mouse on my pillow. For gross. It was the first time any of my dogs ever caught
a mouse. I have heard mice behind my dresser and when I took some clothes out
for Halloween, I saw they had been nesting in the bottom drawers chewing up
material. So, I couldn’t be mad, but I was not happy either having to dispose of
it and then changing my pillow case. But good boy Maxx.
I called Jim McMullin back this afternoon after seeing that
he had called. We visited some and he told me a little about their trip to the
Islands of Greece and how exhausting it was for them because the tour guide
just kept them on the go. The main reason he called was to ask us over for
Thanksgiving. I said I would ask Kyle and Mike.
Then I noticed that Jim Dabakis had messaged me, so I
called him back this afternoon. It was 10:30 at night
his time as he was having a Gay time in Istanbul. He’s planning on staying at a
B & B there for a month so Taco will be spending Thanksgiving with his
pals. Istanbul is one of the few places I'd like to see in this old world but
maybe in my next incarnation.
Jim said that the mansion on B Street sold quickly so Taco
doesn’t have a home now except for here on Fernleaf. I told Jim that if he ever
needed a mailing address here in Salt Lake to use my address and I’d save his
mail for him. He said that Steven Justesen has already bought another condo
here in Salt Lake which I think kind of bummed Jim out since he feels so
untethered now. He said he may bum round Europe for a year while he tries to
figure out where he wants to land. He said he does have a small studio
apartment in the Avenues that is rented out and Steve and he still split fees
from renters of their home in Cottonwood.
Jim had to put everything that was in the B Street house in
storage as he was not here to go through his stuff. But the kid named Steve
Peterson who was kind of their house care taker who lived in the basement cleared it out for him. Jim said Petersen
took the two cats that were left so they still have a home. I told Jim that I
have a spare bedroom whenever he needs a place when in Salt Lake.
In the evening I fed the pups and watched some television mainly
“Inside Amy Schumer” and “Pvt. Benjamin”;
a Goldie Hawn movie from 1980, just as a
diversion.
The weather was cooler today and only in the mid 40’s but
clear skies and no snow or rain.
4 November 2022 Friday
When
I took the garbage cans to the curb this morning at 7, I noticed that the GMC Terrain
was not here, so I thought that Kyle had spent the night some place. However,
about 11:30 he showed up while I was on, he computer. He said that he had
gotten home late and then had a 6:30 meeting with management of Club Verse and
a 10 o’clock meeting with the Square Kitchen folks.
Anyway, he wanted us to get a drink before
he had a 1:30 meeting with the Loco Burger people which we then went to Common
Cents. At the house he fixed himself the left-over pot roast and potatoes and
carrots I had fixed last Sunday.
When he left the house, I didn’t see
him the rest of the day although he was home in the evening before heading back
out the Verse.
When Kyle and I were out getting our
drinks, he told me that he was seeing Tabe from Logan again. I was surprised as
that Kyle rarely tells me who he is seeing. Tabe was the kid who gave me my
first gummy marijuana last Spring, but Kyle broke off with him as he thought Tabe had a drinking problem. But
he lives in Logan and Kyle likes having a boyfriend at a distance. He said he
hadn’t heard from Lisandro since he left for Guatemala on some trip back home,
but it sounds like Lisandro broke it off with Kyle because he wouldn’t commit
to a relationship. Oh well.
In the evening just watched the news same as it ever was, war,
destruction, bad weather, politics. Living during the decline of the American
Republic has been interesting to say the least.
Chuck Whyte called this evening and
we chitchatted for about a half an hour. Nothing of real news from him. He’s
all jazzed because he’s having a massage tomorrow. Some masseuse is coming over tomorrow for an hour and a half
massage for $100. At our age we generally have to pay to have someone touch us.
After I was in bed and checking my email,
I saw that I had 3 contacts from Silver Daddies right in a row. People must
have been horny. I wouldn’t mind meeting someone like Kimball Edwards who perhaps
would rather see me more frequently than he does. But it is what it is.
Face Book has let me post again but
said my account was restricted because of my violations. Still pissed that they
docked me for saying “Blow the Man Down.” I guess Elon Musk is firing half the
Twitter work force. I have never use twitter and never will because it was the
platform used by Donald Trump.
5 November 2022 Saturday
It
was rainy and misty almost all day but at least no snow down here in the
valley. I wasn’t able to take the pups for a walk until around 2 in the
afternoon when there was a break in the weather. This morning I made some Green
Chile which I now thicken with maize flour as Kyle is Gluten intolerant.
I saw that on Facebook he changed
his profile name from Kyle Foote to Kyle Warren, so I wonder what is up with
that. His full name is Warren Kyle Foote. I saw this morning a vehicle parked
in front of the house, so I know he was entertaining this morning.
Around noon he came up and we went
to get our drinks and back at the house he had some Chili Verde while I, for my
lunch, just finished the French dip, that I didn’t eat for my supper last night.
I let TJ Otaka know that both Mike
Romero and Kyle said they would be happy to have Thanksgiving at their place so
that’s settled. In the mail my registration tags for the Honda Fit came so at
least the vehicle is legal for another year.
In the afternoon Kyle wanted to go
back to Club Verse to do some maintenance there I suspect to get in those
people’s good graces. I went with him just to get out of the house, and we took
the Honda Fit. I mainly sat on the couch facing the large windows towards State
Street and played on my phone and watched people walk by on this rainy day. The
Club was virtually empty except for people who worked there. It was rather
interesting listening to what is considered club music these days, but I couldn’t
tell you the name of any of the artists or titles. They all seemed to have the
same pulsating beat.
At 5 I told Kyle I needed to go back
to the house to feed the pups which I did. It was still raining, and the wet
streets reflected the glare of lights which made it a little difficult to see
the lines in the street.
Then around 7 Kyle called and said
that he needed some tools that were left in the back of the Fit and asked if I
would bring them back down to the club which I did. I didn’t park and go in,
but he just came outside the club and retrieved them.
I was home for the rest of the
evening watching the Curiosity Channel before typing up a little more of my
1972 journal before going to bed around 10. The clocks change back tonight.
6 November 2022 Sunday
I
guess it’s just part of old age but around 1:30 this morning, it could have
been 2:20 since the clocks went back to standard time, I woke up with a sharp
pain in my lower right side back above my kidney. I knew it was in the muscle
and I had done nothing I know of to have
aggravated it. I could hardly turn over. Every great while, I sometimes get
these muscle spasms that come out of the blue.
I got up and hobbled to the kitchen to take some Tylenol
and dug out my heating pad to try and get some sleep as it was way too early to
be getting up. I fell back to sleep although still sore and had weird dreams
even one telling a Republican why I was a democrat.
My back gradually became less sore
and stiff although at several times I laid down again with the heating pad. I
managed to walk the pups twice as it isn’t their fault, I got old.
I didn’t go anywhere or leave the
house other than walking the dogs for most of the day. I didn’t even go to
Common Cents for a drink.
I didn’t see Kyle Foote as he was gone by the time I was up
and moving about. I babied my back for most of the day and still can’t figure
out what cause the misery.
I wasn’t too hungry and mainly ate whatever
left over was in the house for lunch and my supper. I fried up some sliced potatoes
and breaded okra for dinner.
I’ve had a lot of messages from the Silver
Daddy site recently but only responded to two by email. One is this 40-something
man named Michael Johnston who lives in West Jordan I believe and surprising another
from this Asian guy named Jon Hsu pronounced “sue” who used to be a fuck buddy
of mine way back in the early 2000’s. I hadn’t heard nor seen him since then.
He is the one who introduced me to “Little World” the Chinese joint on State
Street that used to be really good but kind of went downhill. I messaged Jon back that I was agreeable to meet with him
again as he was fun to play with. His English was difficult back then but
hopefully it has improved. I really like Kimball Edwards but he’s kind of
flakey about getting together and while I enjoy the cuddles that is all we ever
do.
Anyway, I was watching television
around 7:30 when surprising I had a phone call from Kyle whom I hadn’t heard
from all day. He was out drinking at a bar called Manny’s on 17th
and Main Street and asked if I would come and get him as he was too inebriated
to drive. I of course said I would as
when have I ever said no to him.
It was really dark out because even
though it was only after 7:30 we are back on Standard Time, and it was actually
getting dark at 6 now. I found the bar and Kyle was amazed that I found it so
easily and he asked me to join him and his drinking friends inside which I did.
He was there with Lynn Katoa, the bar manager for Club Verse. I guess Manny
became the go to bar after the issues at the Sun Trapp for those aligned with
Mike Repp’s faction.
Lynn had been buying Kyle shots
since 4 this afternoon so he was in no condition to drive but actually we
stayed at the bar until 9:30 and by that time Kyle had stopped drinking and was
sobering up.
There was this one guy named “Larry” who sat at the table
with us who said he was straight but wanted to talk to me about Gay history and
being Gay. I guess I needed to be social, so I conversed with him while Kyle
mainly talked to Lynn, who was wasted, about Club Verse business. Actually, I
had a pretty good time being out and actually conversing with someone who was
interested in my views even if he was kind of drunk and probably will forget
everything we said by tomorrow.
Kyle was finally ready to leave, and
we gave Lynn a ride to his place off of Edith Street and State. On the way home
Kyle told me where he had been all day and for some of it, he was with the
owners of Club Verse, and also, he went with Mike Repp up to Park City because
Mike wanted to do some shopping there. Kyle said there was plenty of snow in
the Mountains.
I finally managed to climb into bed
around 10 and all the pups were anxious for me to be home so they could climb
in bed with me. Fortunately, my back is less sore and hopefully going away. Tomorrow
we will retrieve the Terrain that we left on Main Street.
7 November 2022 Monday
I was in a car accident today. It was my fault as
the other truck was in my blind spot but that is not the worst.
At noon Kyle Foote asked
me to take him down to where he left the Terrain last night which I did. On
coming back on 21st South just past 3rd West as I was
approaching the Freeway entrance, I felt a hard bump and realized I had been
side swiped.
We pulled over in front
of Home Depot and at first, I was sure he had pulled into my lane, but his dash
recorder showed that I was pulling into his. I was in a state of confusion, and
I called Kyle right away saying I was in an accident, and he came to see if I
was all right and he took charge of it all for me as I was just dazed not from
being hurt but just from having an accident after all these years.
Then
the really bad news came that when Kyle called to get my insurance information,
I was shocked that Horace Mann said I was not insured. Kyle placated the other
man by giving him his insurance and when the police arrived, I wasn’t given a
ticket nor was the accident reported due to Kyle’s telling the man that it was
my fault after seeing the dash camera.
Both
vehicles were drivable with my rear passenger dented and scrapped with ugly
black paint from the truck, so I was able to come home and then I called Mike
Romero who was in the neighborhood who came over to calm my nerves down. He
happened to be out and about and down on Redwood and 7th North. Mike
said he’s had flu like symptoms and actually today was the first day he felt
like getting out.
He looked at the car
and said I’d have to decide whether it’s worth fixing or trading it off. When
Kyle came home from a meeting, he showed pictures of the truck I hit, and the
damage was minimal compared to mine but still will cost thousands to fix.
After
both Kyle and Mike left, I was on the phone figuring out what to do. First of all,
I had to get my FIT insured again. Horace Mann never notified me that my
insurance had lapsed, nor did Utah First Credit Union that held the lien ever
notify me that i didn’t have insurance. I have had home owner and auto
insurance with Horace Mann for 25 years and I didn’t even think to check that I
wasn’t covered because usually I received a notice in the mail of being
delinquent on my payments. So, I am screwed.
After calling my local agent who wasn’t sure I could even be reinstated
as it had been over six months since my policy was canceled. But they reinstated
me but after I paid nearly $500 for a half year.
I
will have to pay for the damages to the guy’s truck which was minimal compared
to the FIT but still it will be thousands of dollars I will have to pay out my
own pocket. i imagine it will be between $6,000 and $10,000 with body repairs
for both vehicles and I am just sick about it.
On
top of that I called Utah First Credit Union to see whether they had ever
notified me that the FIT didn’t have insurance and was told their records never
show it had any when I refinanced it from America First. But worse of all I finally
asked what were the three payments that I have been having taken out from
America First to pay them.
I knew that two of them
were for the FIT and Solar panels but did not know what I was pay $374 a month
for. As it turned out it was a payment for an Excel Dump Truck that Kyle once
owned but sold so why was I still paying on it? I asked Kyle who said he had
sold that truck when his business collapsed but needed me to get the vin number
so he could track it down. So, I have been paying nearly $400 a month for
something I don’t own. I was so frustrated and actually depressed to the point
that all this seemed too heavy to bear. I
paid
insurance for 25 years and the one time i needed it, I don’t have it.
Fortunately,
both vehicles had just body damage with no engine or frame damage and thank God
neither of us were hurt. If he would had been or I, without any insurance, I could have lost the house.
I know accidents happen, but I am feeling really discouraged but trying to find
something positive for at least I reinstated my insurance that i didn’t know
was gone before a more serious accident could have happened. If there have been
injuries the expense would probably been much worse. Still, it’s just one of those bumps in the road of life but
i guess i will just find a way to pay for it depending how much it will cost me.
Oh well you can’t take it with you.
I need to find some
gratitude today after the awful afternoon. It's always something but this too
shall pass as trials have always done before. I have my health, a roof over my
head, food in the refrigerator, heat and lights, sweet pups, and a good friend
that helps me when I need it. I need to keep things in perspective and in
another year, it will be a distant memory, or I will be dead.
8 November 2022 Tuesday
It rained all day except for a slight break
around 10 when I took the pups out for a quick walk around the block. It was
their only walk as it rained for much of the rest of the day. Last night it
rained really heavily, and the wind kept blowing.
This morning at 10:30 I
called Tyler Ferguson my financial advisor to have $10,000 withdrawn from my
retirement account of which after paying the taxes on it will be $8,500, I was
hoping that would pay for damage done to
both vehicles.
Kyle
Foot came up about 11:30 and we took his Terrain to Common Cents to get our
drinks and also to the Division of Motor Vehicles as we needed the Title to the
dump truck. Kyle found out that the truck has been sitting in an impound lot
since last July and had the catalytic converter on it stolen so how it ended up
there from Kyle saying it was sold I haven’t a clue. All I know is that it’s
still registered to me, and we need to retrieve it to figure out what to do get
it out of my name and off my Utah First Account.
We
were able to get a copy of the title easily and I noticed that a woman whose
son I used to teach still was working there but she didn’t remember me as it
was probably more than 20 years ago, and it was at Orchard.
Anyway,
Kyle had a meeting and after dropping me off I called Michael Romero to see if
he would go with me to get a couple of estimates for the Honda Fit. He went to
a placed called JJH Body and Paint on Redwood Road where Kyle had some repair
work done on the Rogue after one of his renters damaged the rear end and then
to a GMC dealer over on 40th West and 35th South where Mike had his
truck repaired.
The
bad news is that both places estimated that it would be between $5,000 and
$6,000 to get the damage repaired and depending on the payoff still owing on
the FIT it may not be feasible. In the inspection at JJH I was told if the cost
comes in at more than 70 percent the car could be considered totaled.
It
rained hard all the way home from West Valley and Mike left to go home leaving
me to make my way back home. The car still drives well as the damage was mainly
cosmetic. I stopped at Lucky’s and bought some chicken to have in the house for
the pups.
Well
now I know what to expect and whether it’s worth getting the FIT repaired. When
I pulled into the garage, I took some “Goof-Off” and started to see if it would
clean off the black smudge that Kyle said was left from the other vehicles
tires hitting the side of my car. I was relieved that it was taking most of the
black off and except for the back door being dented and where the rear
taillight panel was pushed in it had kind of cleaned up. All the doors on the
passenger side open fine as does the hatch back and none of the plastic rear
tail lights were broken.
The only real thing
that upset me was that the rear passenger hub cab is missing and must have
popped off in the accident. I am going to have to decide after getting the payoff
whether I can live with the damage.
The
vehicle is only for transportation and if it can still do that should I worry
in my old age about how it looks? I’ve seen people driving around with worse
looking damage. It’s not like Kyle doesn’t have vehicles we can use if needed.
Well
today is election day. I voted 3 weeks ago. There’s nothing more I can do so I
am not going to watch any of the elections news tonight. I will wait until we
have either a Democratic America or a Republican Amerika tomorrow. I can’t
handle the anxiety anymore since Trump won over Hillary in 2016 when it was all
predicted that Mrs. Clinton would win. Locally I am sure it will be anyone with
an R behind their name winning. I just worry about Sim Gill the County District
Attorney.
I thanked my friends on
Facebook for showing care and concern yesterday for me when I was so frazzled.
I mentioned that I was in a car accident yesterday for first time in 30 years. I
let them know that “No one was hurt but some body damage to my Honda Fit on the
back passenger side, but car is still drivable with no real damage to the
engine or frame...it’s just all the hassles and hoops and the fact that it was my fault for not seeing a car in my
blind spot...Kyle came to my rescue while I sat dazed and discombobulated ... I
am too old to deal with accidents, but things are just things, and all things
will some day pass away. We are all dust in the wind, but I appreciate all the
caring for an old man who felt so foolish.”
9 November 2022
Wednesday
It rained and snowed this morning, but nothing stuck
to the ground. I dreaded looking at the Election results but when I did for
Utah, they were pretty predictable but the “Red Wave” that was predicted nationally
never materialized.
Well gerrymandering
worked again in Utah with Mike Lee winning his Senate Race and all the GOP
incumbent legislators retaining their seats in Congress. When Jon Huntsman
endorsed Mike Lee, I knew it was all over for McMullin. No surprise that anyone
with an R behind their name won national seats in Utah. The majority of Utahns
still love Trump's dystopian nightmare. Oh well little changes in Mormon land
because it's all about the Priesthood.
Utah County deserves
carpet bagger Burgess Owens, just saying. The place in my opinion is filled
with conspiratorial believing, dysfunctional and delusional prescription
drugged out Stepford-like folks. Just saying.
It’s called Happy Valley for a reason
Thank the stars that
Sim Gill won his race for Salt Lake County District Attorney and the county
council picked up a Democrat and Goud looks like he lost bid to be county
clerk; small victories but still wins for Salt Lake.
I didn’t hear or see
Kyle Foote until after 7 this evening when he came home so we could retrieve
the dump truck from the tow yard that
was on 7th West and about 1500 south. Kyle drove the FIT down and I
drove it back with Kyle driving the Excel. It started to rain again slightly
coming back to the house. Kyle parked the truck on the concrete pad, and he
paid $500 to get it from the impound lot.
My $1000 water bill was
due today also but fortunately my Social Security was deposited today so I had
enough in my account to cover it. The $8500 from my retirement account should
come in sometime next week.
After bringing that
truck back home, Kyle hugged me and I fed him supper of roasted pork, Au gratin potatoes, and green beans, I had
prepared earlier. I also cooked a pot of pinto beans and corn bread for me.
Kyle said he got a
consulting contract with Club Verge for 6 months and he also has his gig with
Loco Burger in Kearns. This SL Tribune reporter named Palak Jayswal texted me
to meet me next Tuesday because Micheal Repp told her about me, and she wanted to
know more about “queer history” in SLC.
Also, Jon Hsu the
Chinese man who used to come over to fuck years ago has shown interest in me
again. Must be time of year when everyone is trying to find someone to nest
with for the fall and winter.
10 November 2022
Thursday
Kye Foote worked down stairs on spread sheets for
Club Verse for much of the day before
leaving at 2 to go meet with Loco Burger folks so we never went out
to get
drink and I actually never saw him for the entire day.
It
snowed overnight and the ground and roof
tops were frosted over but because it had been so warm that the snow didn’t
stick around, I was able to walk the pups twice. The guy named Mike who works
for Titanium Funds, who truck I ran into called with the estimate for the
damage. It was $3,662. We soke for a while without any animosity. What did they
use to say, “Shit happens.” I never liked that expression but sometimes it
does. I said I’d get him a cashier check tomorrow. I have a $5000 advance on my
line of credit at America First which I can pay off when the $8500 comes in
next week.
I
called Mike Romero and he looked at the estimate and said that it seemed reasonable.
He said that he thought it was wise just to clean up the FIT and not have it
repaired. He also suggested that we sell the Sonoma as is rather than getting
it fixed and that instead of replacing the catalytic converter for thousands of
dollars have the exhaust system replaced, which would be cheaper in the long
run. I guess something to think about.
I
worked on typing up June 1972 from my journal for most of the day having
forgotten I took a summer class called Marriage and Family at Cypress College.
Things you forget from 50 years ago.
I only felt like beans
and corn bread and split pea soup today
although there’s pork roast and au-gratin potatoes to eat up.
I cooked a whole
chicken in the crocked pot and later deboned it which will be a meal for a couple
of days for the pups. I made white and brown rice yesterday to supplement their
chicken thighs for their supper tonight.
Before going to bed, I
watched Funny Girl on Amazon prime which Barbra Streisand won her first Oscar.
While the musical purports to take place after World War I and into the 1920’s
all the makeup and hairdos are so late Sixties. Streisand even wore the Egyptian
like mascara eyeliner and most of her hair styles were done up in bouffant instead
of bobs that were popular back then.
11 November 2022 Friday
The weather was cold; down below freezing for
much of the morning but took the pups on the morning constitutional before
deciding to take down all the autumn leaves decorations and put up more strings of Christmas lights. I
was going to go to the credit union to get a cashier check to pay for the accident
when I realized that the banks were probably closed due to its being Veterans
Day and it was. I called the man I hit and explained why I couldn’t make it to
the bank, and he said Monday would be fine to get a check to him.
Since I was working in
front of the basement door hanging lights beneath the Bay window Kyle Foot’s
doorbell camera caught my image and he called me to let Persephone out and that
he would be home around 1 to go get a drink and a meal coupon from Texas Steak
Roadhouse they were giving out to veterans as it’s veteran’s day which we did.
After he went off to
work again, I decided that I needed another light switch timer for the outside
plus and a hanger for the Wreath I wanted to put over the front door. I also
needed new colored light bulbs for the porch and garage lights as two of my old
ones have worn out.
I thought the best
place to go was to Wal-Mart on 13th South but that was a big mistake
as road construction on 13th towards 3rd West had traffic
stalled blocking intersections. I finally was able to crawl my way into the
side street leading to Wal-Mart’s parking and just hoped no one hit me in the
meanwhile.
At Walmart I found a
door hanger and a light switch controller but no light bulbs. I bought the pups
some chicken jerky treats however before taking a chance crossing 3rd
West over to Lowes. I shouldn’t have bothered as they didn’t have any colored
bulbs either. I took Second West to avoid the mess and took the freeway to
Sutherlands. There I did find what I wanted. Years ago, when I first put bulbs
for Christmas in the porch lights the insides were just painted, then after replacing
them with coil LED the inside glass was colored but now the LED bulbs are clear
with a colored filament that makes the color glow, so times are changing with
even bulb technology.
I finished decorating
the outside all that I am going to so and will wait until after Thanksgiving to
put up any tree in the house.
I took the pups for
another walk and later Kyle came home to have some supper of left overs but I
just fed the pups and didn’t eat much at all.
Working outside must
have tired me out because I fell asleep in the lazy boy and figured I’D just might
as well go to bed which I did.
The news says the
Democrats may lose the house but gain the Senate but a lot of it is still up in
the air. The consensus is however that there was no “red wave” of Republican victories,
and some are finally wanting to rid the part of Trump’s influence.
12 November 2022
Saturday
It was a cool but not frigid day so after
typing up my 1972 journal for a week in May I took the pups for a walk that
they enjoy so much. It brings them such pleasure I suppose. With no grass yet
planted in the backyard I have to deal with dirt and mud being tracked into the
house especially from the wet and or snowy weather we had this week. I guess it’s
what I will have to deal with until the ground totally freezes over or is snow
covered.
So, I decided to
finally clean the front room, dining room and kitchen as well as mopping all
the mud and dirt the rascals tracked in over the past week. .There were a lot
of pee spots that I had let go but it’s all clean and done now. I used to clean
the house more often when I had company
coming over but now it’s just discipline that makes me not want to live in
squalor.
Still, when I was kid,
a song that was super popular on the radio was “This Old House” and now I am
old myself I sing it all the time when I see anything that needs fixing. “ Ain’t
gonna need this house no longer Ain't gonna need this house no more Ain't got
time to fix the shingles Ain’t got time to fix the floor; Ain't got time to oil
the hinges Nor to mend the windowpane Ain't gonna need this house no longer I'm
gettin' ready to meet the saints.” I think I am starting to lose interest in keeping
up my home.
I went out to check on
the hot tub and it was down about ¾ of a foot of water, not sure from a small
leak or evaporation. So, I hooked the hose back up and started filling it up
when Kyle Foote came home to work on some project. He said that motor for the
jet pumps for the hot tub had gone out, so that is another thing I need to fix
I suppose.
That was about the only
time I saw Kyle today because Club Verse was hosting a national Gay Volleyball
event. Between his two gigs at Club Verse and Loco Burger I wonder what is
going on with his Turo business. The Traxx and Rogue have been gone so long
from Sutherlands that I am concerned there’s something Kyle is not telling me
that perhaps they had been repossessed or turned in because he’s never had them
out for this long. Also, the Sierra is just sitting down there and if he
doesn’t want it to go out why isn’t it brought here?
Sometimes I get so
weary of not knowing what he is up to and then me having to pick up the pieces.
Jon Hsu and I texted
back and forth this evening and I wonder if we will get together or if I even
care to do something with him. Perhaps I’m just getting tired of life or maybes
it’s lack of sun light depression.
13 November 2022 Sunday
I spent much of the day typing up the month of
May from my 1972 journal, the month I was baptized a Mormon which I thought
would give my life direction without John Cunningham in it and would help me overcome
my homosexuality. It never helped me get over John nor cured my homosexuality
but just began nearly a decade, or more, of self-loathing and having a dysfunctional
personality by being the perfect Mormon while also disassociating myself from
reality while having secret sex with other males.
Kyle
Foote came home in the afternoon to cook some bacon for some specialty drinks that
Club Verse was experimenting with. He also took the spare TV that Michael
Romero gave me down to the club so they could use it as a monitor for their Karaoke
afternoon.
I made an enchilada pie
casserole using the Las Palma brand enchilada sauce but as it turned out it was
way too spicy, so it was kind of a wasted effort. Yesterday I made some Onion
soup.
When
I went with Kyle to Smith’s so he could buy some cookie sheets, I asked him
what was going on with his Turo business as I hadn’t been asked to help and the
Rogue and Traxx seemed to have been gone a long time. He said that they had
both come in and gone out several times down at Sutherlands, so he hadn’t
needed my help going to the airport, but he still intends to end the business.
He
asked me to take him to Club Verse as he would be drinking the cocktails they
were making and didn’t want to chance driving and I said I would and would pick
him up when he was ready to come home. It was around 9:30 when I went to pick
him up and I went inside to get him.
14 November 2022 Monday
The pups were going crazy this morning and I
noticed that a whole construction crew was reroofing Victor’s house, which is behind
me. Well, it’s probably 25 years old and needs it but it was a cold day to be
doing it.
Well, I went to America First Credit Union this
morning and had a cashier Check made out for $3,662 for the accident I caused a
week ago. I dreaded it, not because of the money but just the whole worry about
whether there would be an issue or not. I called Mike the guy who I hit, and he
said he’d come over around 1 which he did. I had him sign a receipt just to be safe,
which he did also.
Kyle
Foote came back to the house around 12:30 from Club Verse where he’s building a
stage for them. He needed the Sierra Truck, but the battery was dead, so we had
to try and find some jumper cables.
While here, Darrin
Solomon of all people pulled into the driveway. He really looked shot with an
oxygen tube in his nose and looking like he’s 80 not in his 60’s. The real
reason he came over was to ask if I would rent him a room. I immediately said
no and felt so guilty saying that, as I have a really hard time saying no to
anyone. But I also knew that I would have to be a care taker for him as he can
hardly get around and he’d be on me the whole time. It was becoming
increasingly difficult for me to take care of Bill Poore but at least he was
interesting and good company until his mind and health started to fail.
Darrin said he’s living at a place that he doesn’t
like so I am sure he’s causing issues there. It was easier to say no knowing that
he wasn’t living on the street. He’s never had a real job that I know of just
kind of a handy man. I think Merrill supported him mostly and he’s dead.
Kyle rescued me by
saying he needed me to go with him. I really felt guilty saying no to Darrin
but at almost 72, why am I taking care of those younger than I am. Darrin only
liked me because he was sexually attracted to me, and I had always tried to be
kind to him, but we have never been close.
I
tried calling Mike Romero for some jumper cables, but he never answered his
phone so now I am worried about him. I lied to Darrin and said that Mike’s
health was so poor that he may be moving into the spare bedroom. I am afraid that
may not be a lie. I still haven’t heard back from Ross Poore regarding Bill
either.
I
tried calling Roseman Dental to cancel my appointment for tomorrow, but they
had me on hold so long I just left a message. I hope they got it. Kyle took me
back to the house because I needed to be there to meet the man to whom I needed
to give the check.
While
checking my phone message I was really surprised and pleased that Kimball
Edwards reached out to me and asked if I wanted to get together with him and of
course I said certainly. So, we made a date for this Wednesday which is always
around 9 in the evening when he gets off work.
I
called to see about having Richard Gordon my Soaker Hot Tub guy come out to
repair the hot top only to find out that he’s down with Covid19 and when he
comes back, he will be so backed up until December. The lady in the office gave
me some other numbers, one which said he could come out possible tomorrow or
Wednesday and asked if I would take a picture of the pump. So, I had to crawl
beneath the deck and unscrew the panel that Kyle had put in place.
Kyle
came back home shortly after that with the Sierra Truck which he had to call
Triple A to start up. I helped him load some heavy equipment into it and he
said that I should bring some artifacts to the meeting with that Tribune reporter
who wants to interview me. I said I really don’t have anything anymore as I
tried to get them into other hands and that what I mostly have is just my
writings. I said I would look for some stuff.
So,
I started going through the boxes in my closet only to find that mice had
infested where I had stored card board boxes with collections of family letters
and photographs. They had chewed up a lot to make nests so I spent the evening
pulling out everything and see what I could save. I have hundreds of family
letters I had saved over the years most only slightly damaged, so I started
organizing them into plastic folders to type up later. I did find a few things
to bring with me tomorrow.
15 November 2022 Tuesday
At 11:30 I went down to Club Verse to meet Palak
Jayswal the Cultural reporter for the
Tribune. She wanted to interview me about what I knew about the formation of
the Gay community. Because it’s something I can talk on forever I was there
until 2 in the afternoon. She was a fun person and actually I enjoyed her
company. Kyle Foote was down at the club also building a stage for drag shows.
I met Riley Richter the partner of Mike Repp and co-owner of the bar. He’s a
tall handsome man and seemed really pleasant.
After
coming home, Mike Romero came over to drop Coco off while he had a dental
appointment at this other dentist he wanted to try out. I guess his phone doesn’t
always ring and that is why he didn’t answer the other day, but he said he’s
fine.
In
the evening I went to the Men’s support group that ran out of the Pride Center
but not by the center. One of the men there brought in a huge pizza and I had a
slice which was my only supper.
I
didn’t get home until near 8:30 and saw that Kyle had company over.
There
was no “red wave” from last week’s elections, but trump announced his
intentions of running for President again in 2024, God Forbid.
16 November 2022
Wednesday
Another expensive day as it cost $633 to have a
new pump put in the hot tub. The guy from Spa Emporium was out this morning to
fix the hot tub and he put in a dose of fix a leak also, so he said not to use the hot tub for a
couple of days, and I also had to refill it up some which was kind of a chore
because the garden hose had frozen. I laid it out in the sun and when it unthawed,
I was able to fill the tub.
I
checked on America First and the money from my
pension fund still had not been deposited. I had to write a check for
the repair of the hot tub because he didn’t take a credit card and that was the
first check I had written in years and years.
I
worked on sending Palak Jayswal a copy of what I had written on Fanny Payne and
other “notorious” women from the 19th century for much of the rest
of the day.
Kyle
Foote had this Latin boy named Adrian Villalobos staying downstairs for much of
the day also. Kyle called me and said not to be concerned if I heard someone
down in his room. I asked him where he met him and he said at Club Verse, in
person, the old fashion way.
I
never saw him when he left in the afternoon but in the evening, Kyle brought
him back to the house to spend the night while in the meantime Kyle went back
to work.
Chuck
Whyte called me to ask to take him out to lunch tomorrow and I agreed as long
as it wasn’t to the Other Place. He said for us to go to Village Inn, and I am
okay with that. I heard that Denny’s on 5th South has closed
permanently. Wow that was the go-to place for years for the Gay community
especially after hours as it was one of the few places in Salt Lake that operated
for 24 hours.
The
rest of the evening was spent in anticipation and preparation in going out to
be with Kimball Edwards at 9. Funny how for young people that is just the
beginning of the evening and for old dudes like me it’s almost the end of the
day.
I
could tell Kimball was glad that I came over and we immediately got naked and
into bed. I am getting less uptight about my body image because for some reason
this tall athletic man gets pleasure from being with me. I massaged him as usual
and except for once sucking him we mainly just kissed, caressed, and canoodled.
I think that is what he loves the most, being held and petted. At my age so do
I.
He said I could sleep over if I wanted to, but
I was reluctant even as tired I was from getting up at 4:30 this morning.
Mainly because of my own insecurities. Old men have pee needs that younger men
don’t, as well as other bodily issues. I don’t think he would have minded, but
I would have. So, I held him in my arms, and we did sleep for a bit but near 11
I said that I needed to leave so he could get some real sleep as he works, and
I don’t. It is so very hard to leave the sweet man but maybe these rendezvous
are sweeter because I do leave.
When
I came home it was after 11 and I could see that Kyle was home, I imagine
sleeping with Adrian.
17 November 2022
Thursday
I still haven’t received my funds to put into
my credit union but so far, I am okay. Many people are worse off than I am. I
went over to retrieve Chuck Whyte to take him to Village Inn for lunch.
Although it was noon, it was only about a fourth occupied, so I wonder how they
survive. The prices for any meal was around $10 or more and since I really
wasn’t hungry at all I just had Chuck buy me a Dr. Pepper while he had this
huge tower high double cheese burger and fries. He had to eat it in sections
because it was so huge. It would have taken me days to have eaten it, but he
finished every bit of it.
We
visited a while and really nothing was new since we last went out. Just chit-chatted.
I was mostly there to keep him company while he had lunch. Even then with just
his meal and our two drinks it was over $20.
Afterwards
he asked if I’d take him to Smith’s on 5th east so he could do some
grocery shopping for the upcoming Thanksgiving as that his brother Robert and
his wife were coming to Utah for it. Of course, I said yes and although I knew
it would take forever as he is so slow with his cane and all, I was just
grateful that I am in better health than all my contemporary friends.
I went inside and
grabbed some griller dog treats for TJ and a few discounted snacks for me and then
sat out in the FIT. I really don’t like that store as it is laid out weird and is
so crowded being about the only grocery store for Central City anymore.
It
was after 2 in the afternoon when I dropped him off at his place on 4th
East and then just went home to relax and walk the pups for their afternoon
constitutional
It
was a cool day but warmer than yesterday but still in the 40’s but I guess east
of us they are being hit by a deep cold front.
I
stayed home for much of the rest of the day until I noticed that I was out of
coffee so I went to Lucky’s and bought some, and chicken for the pups, and a
few things for a small Thanksgiving meal of stuffing and a yam. I know I am
being invited over to TJ Otaka’s but it’s nice to have some cornbread dressing
and cranberry here for the holidays. If I hadn’t been invited for Thanksgiving
dinner by TJ and Jim McMullin otherwise, I wouldn’t have fixed anything because I am done cooking big meals these days.
I cooked and
coordinated big community Thanksgiving meals for 70 or more people back in the 1980s
for MCC, Affirmation, and Unconditional Support, and many, many more dinners for friends over the years.
They were fun and I loved feeding people. I even helped the 1st Baptist church
with their Thanksgiving meals but there comes a time when it all is too much,
although I miss it. Now it’s just good memories.
I
didn’t watch anything but the news. I suppose Nancy Pelosi stepping down as
Speaker of the House was the main news and the missile strike in Poland was an
accident from Ukraine shooting down Russian missiles.
I
worked a bit on my 1972 journal before going to bed rather early at 9. I woke
up around midnight with the pups barking and looking out the window I saw that
Kyle’s new boy toy Adrian Villalobos was outside. What we do for love.
18 November 2022 Friday
I left the house around noon to go downtown. Kyle
Foote is building a dance stage and dressing room down at Club Verse, so I
wanted to see how it was coming along. I visited a bit with owners Riley Richter
and Mike Repp while there. I think they are more aware of me now as a person of
consequence in our community since Salt Lake Reporter Palak Jayswal interviewed
me at the club. I think it also raised Kyle’s credence and also being
associated with me.
Kyle also finally told
me more about the latest boy he’s been fucking, and I think is smitten with.
His name is Adrian Villalobos and he’s
an undocumented Latino from Columbia who lives in Murray with several others, paying
$450 a month just for a bed. He’s working two jobs one at a donut shop where
Granato deli used to be near Lowes and at Subway another place that is closed
by.
I know Kyle is
intrigued with this boy as he showed me pictures of him on his phone and when I
checked on Persephone in Kyle’s room, there were a lot of plastic bags filled
with clothes and other paraphernalia that I am sure belongs to Adrian so I
wonder how long it will be until he’s sleeping permanently with Kyle. He also
doesn’t speak any English. Donde esta banos.
Back
at the house I sent Palak some pictures of the Radio City, The Sun Club, the
Utah Stonewall Center, and Joe Redburn. I also wrote a tribute to Joe Redburn
which I posted in different groups on Face Book since yesterday was his
birthday and he’s someone who should not be forgotten, warts and all.
The
money from my savings finally arrived when I checked America First. It was only
$8000 not $8500 so $2000 must have been taken out in Taxes. I paid only $3000
towards the line of credit instead of the full amount of $3662 because I also
wanted to pay down some of my Visa bill but wanted a cushion for my other
bills. I have to pay $250 soon for my part of the endoscopy.
So far this month I had
the extra expenditures of a $1000 water bill, $450 to renew my car insurance,
and $3662 to pay for damages so I want to keep some money in case of further
emergencies since it’s only the middle of the month.
Before
going to bed Kyle came up and said he was going to be out late and asked me to
keep the pups in my room in the morning so he could sleep in without them
barking in the morning.
19 November 2022
Saturday
Well, it took 26 years but i finally made it
into my neighborhood Ward House and the sky never cracked open nor did i hear
trumpets of doom. A long-time neighbor Jim Benton who lives on Dale Ridge celebrated
his 80th birthday and his daughters threw him a party in the Ward cultural
hall. We have been neighbors for 25 years now and we are the last of the
original home owners in our subdivision.
Jim invited me a while
ago while I was out walking the pups and it seemed like he genuinely wanted me
to come so I bought a bottle of Martinelli’s sparkling cider,
got dressed in my Sunday best and went for 15 minutes before skedaddling.
It was really a family and friends party and the only person I knew was Jim,
but I know he was touched that I came, even if I am an old Mormon apostate rapscallion.
I am typing up my 1972
journal which is falling apart. I had my sins washed away 50 years ago in 1972
when I was baptized a Mormon and as far as I know I still am according to their
records. I don’t think the baptism took and I've gathered a few more sins since
I was 21 as an unrepentant sodomite.
I never saw Kyle Foote
all day however around 9 he called and said that Adrian Villalobos was staying
downstairs which I knew from the booming music emitting from there. He must be
young. Anyway, he said to watch Channel 4 News because they were going to do a
story on Club Verse but when I watched they never mentioned the club. I guess
it was about some Salt Lake City bathroom code against unisex bathrooms.
Anyway, Kyle asked me
if I wanted to go to Manny’s, the bar I
had picked him up before my accident, tomorrow. They are having a
pre-Thanksgiving spread. I said sure but was mostly I was touched that Kyle
thought to visit with me before I went to bed.
20 November 2022 Sunday
It was a very melancholic day for me, and I was
rather depressed all day thinking my
usefulness has come to an end. I suppose mainly because last night this Adrian Villalobos
kid was downstairs blasting the Back Street Boys’ music, so loudly it filtered upstairs. I almost felt like a
stranger in my own home since I have never met this kid who Kyle has taken a
shine to. He spent another night with Kyle as both were down stairs all morning
neither bothering to see me or say good morning. I felt so neglected like
Kyle’s life was moving on while mine is fading away.
Finally, I had to get away, so I went
into Centerville to buy some Caesar dog food and some Griller treats for TJ at
Walmart. I just didn’t want to be home where I felt excluded.
I even went up to the Veteran Administration
Hospital to see if I could locate Bill Poore as trying to contact anyone there
over the phone is useless. However much of the campus was closed because of it
being Sunday and the few places that were opened said Bill wasn’t there. I felt
kind of even more discouraged and finally around 2 after being gone for two
hours came back to the house. There I saw that Kyle and Adrian were gone.
Yesterday
Kyle had asked if I wanted to go to a Pot Luck at Manny’s this bar that Club
Verse employees like to go to and relax, I said I would before feeling so broody
today from feeling disregarded. I waited around all afternoon expecting to hear
from Kyle which made me even more sullen and when he finally did call around 5,
he could tell I was in a despondent mood. I reluctantly agreed to go with him,
which he said he would pick me up at 6 because I was not going to go there
alone.
However, it was nearly
7:30 when he came by. I wonder if he would have even asked me if Adrian had not
gone to work.
At
Manny’s the same Verse crowd was sitting at a table and except for Lynn Katoa,
I knew no one and when Kyle went off to talk to some others, I felt like such a
fool and out of place. I was no one to these people, and why should I be? They
were all probably in their 30s and 40s.
I saw that Kyle was in
his Gay environment rather than when he was at the Indian Restaurant. Once Lynn
referred to me as Kyle’s wife and I corrected him and said he’s my son although
no wife probably could not have loved him as much as I have and do.
The
Pot Luck had been over since 3 so there was nothing for me to eat and I hadn’t
eaten since I thought there would be food at the Bar. Kyle, I think tried to
make me feel not so out of place saying how that whenever he shows up somewhere
people asks, “where’s Ben.” However, I don’t know if I believe that.
Riley Richter the
co-owner of Club Verse was there and was really inebriated. He told me how
highly he thought of Kyle and then he felt like he had to tell me how painful it
was losing the Sun Trapp for him. He was on a crying jag, so I just held him
and let it all spill out. I know what it’s like to have something your built
and loved taken away from you as was the Utah Stonewall Center’s archives so
many years ago.
I
did meet Don Taylor who was bartending. He’s Tom Taylor’s son and had worked at
most of the Salt Lake clubs and bars from the 1990’s onward. He would be
interesting to talk to about what bars there were and who owned them after I
really stopped going to them.
I
never got out of my blue funk and Kyle was ready to leave about 8:30 also. He
had been discussing with the owners of Club Verse today about security after 5
people were murdered at Club Q last night in Colorado Springs. Another
senseless murder of young people just wanting to enjoy life and earlier 4
college students were murdered in their sleep in Moscow, Utah. Hate seems to
never end.
Kyle
told me a little more about this Adrian kid who is his latest infatuation. He
will turn 25 this coming Tuesday and he’s from Columbia having crossed the Rio
Grande from Mexico into the country illegally. He first went to New York City
but found its way to expensive and a friend suggested Salt Lake City. He lives
in a two-bedroom apartment with 10 other men, so I suppose he is happy to have
found Kyle not only for a fuck but for a place to be away from the mess where
he is living.
So
nearly 10 years after taking in a young Gay Armenian refugee I now have a
undocumented Columbian downstairs, for how long I wonder and do I even care
since he’s a part of Kyle’s life not mine. He doesn’t speak any English, and
Levon spoke just a little while he lived with me.
Sometimes
I just want to fade away, as I am no longer contemporary or useful to anyone. Even
my yard and home has changed so much that I sometimes don’t feel like I belong
here anymore like I am just in residence.
I
keep telling myself to snap out of it because I have a roof over my head, food,
and water in abundance, four pups who depend on me and gives me love and
affection and I should be happy that Kyle has someone to share his bed with. It
is not good to be young and alone.
21 November 2022 Monday
My world is topsy turvy again. This afternoon about
1 Kyle Foote called and asked me to bring him some Chinese food from China
Delight down to Club Verse and if I would help him with a project. However,
when I arrived, he had just left so I
had to sit around visiting a bit with Lynn Katoa until he came back.
Then a reporter showed
up to interview Micheal Repp about the added security to the bar after the
Colorado Springs killings. I never got around to helping Kyle because he was in
a meeting with Michael and Lynn, and I didn’t want to intrude so at 3:30 I just
left to go back to the house.
It was nearly 4 before
I was able to walk the dogs again and as we were coming back up the steps to
return, two black cars pulled up and a
Sheriff got out to have me sign some papers to give to Kyle.
I
read them and my heart sunk because it was a court order to appear in Tooele
County to show cause why he shouldn’t be sent back to prison for violating his
probation. Evidently, he hadn’t paid his $1800 monthly restitution for October
and November which was due on the first which was a condition for him not being
sent back to prison for Wire Fraud a 3rd degree felony. He owes
$79,000. I have no idea whether this was a new offense or carried over from his
previous offense. All I know I was bewildered and devastated that I was just
finding out about it now.
I
shut down and couldn’t eat but just thought what would I do if Kyle was sent
back to prison for 1 to 5 years? I know I could not deal with that, and it
would be over even if I do love him. I know the house is not in jeopardy, but I
wonder what other things he has included my name on without my knowledge. I
just couldn’t deal with it and retired to bed my mind in a frenzy of what if’s.
I knew I could rent out the downstairs but the thought of not having Kyle here
was breaking my heart.
Finally,
when he came back home, he came upstairs, and I got out of bed, and we went to
the front room and the first thing I asked was how much money did he have as
the papers said he was $3600 in arrears. I could tell his hackles went up and
he didn’t want to discuss it, but he knew he couldn’t avoid it. I said my main
concern was him, that I didn’t want to lose him again and if he doesn’t tell me
what is going on how can I help him. He said he just doesn’t want me stressed
and I said I am stressed when I am left in the dark.
We
had a long visit and I hope what he told me is true that he paid for October
and will only owe November and December because his court date is December 20th,
and it was not for his arrest but to show cause why he hasn’t paid. He said
he’s working hard at Club Verse and for Loco Burger and has filed a claim
against Curry Connection for back wages and that he has other deals in the work
and now that he’s just working for himself and not running a company like Build
Team, he can put everything into paying his restitution. He will be on
probation for 3 years with this hanging over his head.
I
told him I just need to know what is happening without surprises that it
doesn’t spare me anything to find out on my own. I told him I love him, have
always loved him even at times we fight, but I have to be a part of his life.
Kyle
after a while began to relax after we had this discussion, and I did too that
he was not going to be going to prison in December and then he began talking
about Adrian Villalobos who I think he has fallen in love with although he will
not admit it. I have to get over my jealousy of sharing Kyle with the young men
he is physically attracted to.
So,
my funk kind of went away and I wonder if my moodiness was part of a premonition.
I do get them occasionally although I am not as in tune with them as when I was
younger.
22 November 2022 Tuesday
I couldn’t sleep past 5:30 so I got up and made
two Pumpkin spice Bundt cakes with cream cheese icing, Chocolate chips, and
orange colored sugar sprinkles for my neighbors. I am sure they will have
pumpkin pie, so this is different.
I have had this heavy-duty Bundt cake
pan for over 30 years that I know of; may be longer. Just because I don't want
to eat anymore doesn't mean I don't itch to bake for the holidays, so I am glad
for neighbors who have kids at home. I gave one to Carlos Bahena’s and one to Peter
and Brittainy Nash.
I finally met Kyle
Foote’s newest love on his 25th birthday. Kyle came up stairs and asked
me to meet them down at Club Verse to help paint the stage and wall Kyle built.
First, I stop at Family Dollar and bought a Spanish Birthday card, well at
least I hoped it was a birthday card since I don’t speak Spanish.
Well
Adrian Villalobos is so much Kyle’s dream. He’s tall, thin, and good looking as
he used to model in Columbia. He seems genuinely nice, but I am sure it’s over
whelming not being able to speak English. So, I spent much of the morning helping
paint the stage walls black while Adrian painted the dance stage.
Adrian
and I conversed a little through a phone app translator that you could speak into,
and it translates what you say. I am sure it’s been around for a long time, but
I thought it was extremely clever and useful.
He
said his father was Venezuelan, but his mother was Columbian, and he came to the United States through
Mexico into Texas then New York City and then here to Utah. Kyle said he lost
his donut job yesterday, but I still think he has another one at Subway.
Afterwards
I went home to finish icing the Bundt cakes and delivering them before walking
the dogs again and the taking a nap.
Around
3:30 Kyle and Adrian came back to the house and Kyle showed him around
upstairs, since I had told him he didn’t need to feel like he has to stay in
the basement. If he’s going to be Kyle’s main squeeze, he will probably move in
here kind of like what Danny Montoya did when he was in town.
I
don’t care. If he’s important to Kyle Adrian will be important to me. Besides,
it wouldn’t be the first refugee I’ve taken in and Scriptures say to be hospitable
to strangers in a strange land.
Kyle
took Adrian out to dinner for his birthday at Current Fish and Oyster Restaurant
on 3rd South and I went to the Gay Men’s Support Group at 6:30 where
I stayed until 8. There were about 10 people there and I sat next to Paul Milne
who I was able to be snarky with. Actually, it was a good meeting because it
was random with people discussing the Club Q
Shooting, the Mormon Church’s position on the Marriage Equality bill and
just about being a Gay man in general. I think the younger one’s need the
affirmations I give about being a Gay man and our place in this old world. I
mentioned again my views that Gays are God’s tithing to the world and that we
are a bridge between the sexes.
We discussed whether we
are safe meeting at The Pride Center, and I said 35 years ago we all went to
the Gay bars in groups and many who didn’t were often attack.
Even in a group, my
friends and I were attacked in downtown SLC and when the police arrived all
they did was say we shouldn’t have been out so late. Even more outrageous was
that they knew that this kid was out throwing bricks at people who he thought
was Gay; in our case he was right as there was no doubt because we were
laughing and being silly walking home from the bars.
Times change as young
people now have guns now rather than bricks and rocks. We do need to always be
vigilant but live our lives not in fear.
When I came home Kyle
and Adrian came in around 8:30 and brough In 3 little chocolate cakes from
Gourmandie’s Bakery. We sat at the kitchen counter and visited as best as we
could. The cake was actually more like fudge and was too rich even for me.
Kyle then said that he
bought a bottle of champagne and he and Adrian were going to go use the hot tub
and sip Champagne. It should be a 25th birthday Adrian will long
remember even after I am forgotten.
I went to bed around
9:30 surrounded by my pups and “glad lonesome” that Kyle has found someone to
love.
Maggie
Snyder wrote that Sister Linda Bellemore of the Continuity of Care Program at
Holy Cross Hospital back in the 1980’s died on November 17. That was back when
no one would take care of AIDS patients except Catholic Nuns and Dr. Kristen
Ries.
23 November 2022
Wednesday
There was a skiff of snow on the ground this
morning, very dry and powdery but still there when I walked the dogs at 10. I
did not see Adrian Villalobos all day and Kyle Foote only briefly around 2 when
he came up to package up another jacket he sold, and then not at all after that.
I only went out, besides walking the pups, to get some gas that is $3.75 at Exxon and a drink there. I bought on Amazon some more
Chlorine Bromine tablets for the hot tub if Kyle is going to fuck Adrian in it.
I
made several loaves of zucchini bread this morning to take over to TJ Otaka and
Jim McMullin tomorrow. On snowy mornings I like to get my baking out of the way
because it warms the house and makes it smell like home. The loaves of zucchini
bread were made Mormon style with chocolate chips in them. I fixed a breakfast
burrito for me.
I
typed up more of my 1972 journal that is falling apart. I wondered why I even bother
until I watched a documentary on the Curiosity channel called “Berlin” which
used diaries and letters to describe conditions in the city in 1945 and it’s
fall into the hands of the Soviets. Seeing everything in black and white
newsreels and photographs I sometimes forget that the war in Europe ended just
5 years and 11 months before I was born and all of my parents’ generation were
contemporaries with those events. In context it would be like 2016 and children
being born now.
I
have this strange feeling of lonesomeness with Kyle and Adrian holed up all day
downstairs and never interacting with me. It’s normal I know for two lovers in
the early stages of romance when their brains are flooded with the intense
pleasure dopamine hormone, to cut themselves off from everyone else, so I guess
until the honeymoon period is over, I’ll be alone with the pups.
I
know I am infatuated with Kyle and always have been and that is my issue I have
to deal with. I think about him all the time, I am jealous of his sexual
encounters, and I have severe mood swings from euphoria to depression depending
on how I feel I am being treated by him.
Rationally
I know he thinks of me more as a loving friend and I want to be just that, and
I do try to think of him as a son, but he also conjures up something in me
reminiscent of John Cunningham. Mostly I am just an old fool whose time has
passed by and perhaps Kyle is simply a reminder of my youth and the loves I
lost or never had.
Yesterday at the men’s
support group meeting naturally the discussions centered around the ClubQ
murders and how one should protect oneself to be safe. I reminded people that
we have always been a target of hate and violence, but it should not stop us
from gathering together and change who we are.
I reminded them yes, we
were attacked again but the same radical
right hatred attacks black people, schools, churches, synagogues, parades, and outdoor
concerts because we have a sick gun culture perpetrated by extremists within
the Republican party. I said today it was us but tomorrow it will be someone
else.
Sadly, I am right when
holiday shoppers were gunned down in a Virginia Walmart none of whom I suspect
were Gay. There’s been nearly 600 mass shootings alone this year but hey that’s
more opportunities for Republicans and the NRA to send thoughts and prayers.
24 November 2022
Thursday
I had a very nice Thanksgiving dinner over at
T.J. Otaka and Jim McMullin in Daybreak. Kyle Foote drove Adrian, Michael Romero,
and me along with Coco to South Jordan. Thanksgiving dinner was at 1 and we
stayed until 5 in the afternoon.
It was a clear day, and
the mountains were beautiful as we drove along the Mountain Corridor highway.
It was so good to sit and share a meal with
friends and TJ and Jim are such great
cooks and hosts. There were six of us all together.
The meal consisted of
all the tradition items except no yams. Mike brought some wine, and I brought a
Marie Callendar Coconut Cream Pie and homemade Zucchini bread. The pie was for
all of us because I know Jim like Coconut cream, but I actually made the bread for just Jim and TJ.
We
all did our best to speak a little Spanish to include Adrian Villalobos who actually
fitted in better than when Kyle brought Danny Montoya for Christmas in 2019.
Afterwards we went to
Club Verse for a little while where I visited with the fabulous Teinamarrie
Scuderi who I haven’t seen since BC [before covid] and that was a treat. She
was there with her husband Christopher. We solved all the world’s problems and
remembered Chad Keller and Joe Redburn. We also lamented the loss of the sense
of community we once had.
Club verse catered a free buffet for Thanksgiving,
so it was a special day to be grateful for good company, good food, and good
times. However, as we were still full from Thanksgiving dinner we didn’t eat
but sampled a few things. We had come later after the main service at 2 when Teina
said there was 30 or more people having dinner but when we there I bet there
were no more than 15 people there including us, Mike Repp, Riley Richter, Lynn Katoa,
and other staff.
It
was the first time Mike Romero had been to Club Verse and probably out to a bar
here in SLC, in years. Coco was a good girl, and I carried her in my lap
mostly.
I
told Kyle when it was near 7 that we should leave because I needed to be home to feed my pups, so we
did. I gave Mike Romero some corn bread dressing and a mini loaf of Zucchini
bread to take home with him.
Kyle
and Adrian disappeared downstairs, and I fed the pups and was alone for the
rest of the evening before going to bed a little after 9,
I
think Kyle has fallen in love with Adrian who seems like a genuinely sweet person,
and I imagine because of Kyle, he will be a part of my life for at least some
time. I know Kyle is having him sleep with him now every night as Adrian pays
$450 to sleep on a couch in a 2-bedroom apartment with 10 others.
Yesterday
there was a candlelight vigil at the city county building with Club Verse as one
of the sponsors. Kyle attended as did Teina who said she was disappointed at
the turn out for it as in our day 100’s would show up for events like this and
she said there was hardly 30 people. Kyle said that mainly Trans people spoke
and often off topic about the treatment of people of color and Indigenous
Americans rather than the shooting at Club Q in Colorado Springs.
25 November 2022 Friday
I only left the house to walk the pups twice
and I did go to Smith’s to but some Dr. Pepper as we were about out down stairs.
I never saw hide nor hair of anyone today. I guess everyone is busy. I did
finish my 1972 journal finally and added some memoirs to it of things I did in
Long Beach like prowling for sex late at night that I dare not mentioned in my
journal; let alone to myself.
This
morning I dug out the fiber optic Christmas Tree and a few others decorations.
I down-scaled Christmas like crazy and since it will probably be just me who
will enjoy my nativity creche and my tree I kept it all to a minimum.
Since
I was alone again tonight, I just cleaned the front room and kitchen. I enjoy washing the
dishes and cleaning the kitchen listening to Disco from my youth. “I like to Boogie
Oogie Oogie until I just can’t boogie no more.”
26 November 2022
Saturday
I only saw Kyle Foote once when he came home to
package up his Carhartt jackets. He only has one left now. I guess he was too
busy to stop and visit even for a few seconds. Adrian Villalobos came back to
the house around 4:30 and remained downstairs. Then Kyle called and asked where
he could find an Aloe Vera plant because Adrian wanted one. I suggested Lowe’s
house plant section and that is the last I heard from him.
I
kept myself really busy however by
cleaning out the hall pantry closet that was infested with mice. People who
know me know how much I hate to waste food. However, since mice have nested in
my hall pantry and chewed up paper goods and labels off of cans, I went through
everything and cleaned thoroughly but saw that a lot of my canned goods had expired
over 2 years ago when I bought food items with which to entertain; but those
days are long gone.
So, I went through the whole kitchen and
pantry tossing anything that expired over 6 months ago. Goes to show how I just
don't eat like I used too. I hate mice but have an aversion to killing them
also. They sure scattered into my
bedroom when I evicted them from my pantry.
Then I then decided to
clean up all the items scattered on my chest of drawers I had pulled out of the
closet last week. I started putting old letters in plastic folders and in chronological
order. While sitting on the bed I noticed that Kyle and Adrian were using the
hot tub again in the dark. I guess the $660 I spent fixing it will get a good
use as their little love hide away.
Actually, I was kind of
melancholy if not hurt that neither of them can bother with coming up to see me
when they come home, even for a few minutes just to acknowledge that I exist or
that I might be lonesome for some company besides the pups.
They both are living
under my roof not paying me a cent but can’t even come up to see how I am. I
understand they are at that infatuation stage, and I don’t expect to them to spend
the evening with me but an acknowledgement that someone else lives in this
house would be appreciated. Oh well can’t expect a fish to climb a tree. I am
the one who needs to have no expectations. Who knows Kyle may be back in prison
in December after his December 20th court appearance.
My California
Quasi-hippie days and the Brotherhood of Eternal Love.
I knew
Carol Horan all my life as she was the youngest daughter of my neighbors Tom
and Jean Horan who lived across the street from my parents. Carol was their
youngest daughter but was nearly a teenager when I was a youngster. She married
this kid named John Griggs in 1961 and during their Beach Surfing stage I often
babysat their two kids when I was in Junior High school.
The roots of the
Brotherhood of Eternal Love began with John Griggs and his friends from high
schools in Anaheim. In 1966 John and Carol switch from being identified with
the surfer era to being hippies and John and his friends incorporated the
Brotherhood of Eternal Love as a church that year when I was 15. LSD was its
sacrament.
John dealt in pot and
hashish to fund his providing LSD at giveaway prices. Griggs eventually met
Timothy Leary, the LSD Guru in the Summer of 1966 who helped him hook up with
LSD manufactures. Leary originated the phrase "Turned In, Turned On, and
Drop Out."
I was a teenager at the
time and had no idea how heavily Carol and John were involved in distributing
of LSD all over California out of their Mystic Art Word Gallery in Laguna Beach.
I even had some of my own high school art work displayed in their gallery.
1967 was the Summer of
Love and I would often see John and Carol’s hippie clan gathered across the
street dressed in white cotton muslin clothing colorfully embroidered and with
wreaths of flowers crowning their long hair. I wanted to be dressed like them.
I once even met Timothy
Leary in Laguna Beach but at the time I had no idea who he really was.
Jean Horan had a home
sewing business making sails for sail boats but about this time she switch over
to sewing huge canvas teepees that the hippies were living in up Laguna Canyon.
She employed me simply to help her pull the canvas through the power sewing
machine because the weight of the canvas was so heavy. I loved being with Jean,
any way as she was my “second mom.”
These teepees were at
least 16 feet tall and 40 feet in circumference and the hippies paid like $500
for each of them. Little did I know it was mostly from selling LDS that they
had the money to buy these teepees.
In the summer of 1969
John Griggs died of an overdose while living up Laguna Canyon. It was at the
end of July and right before the Charles Manson killings in August which
forever changed the perception of freaky hippies.
However, John Grigg’s
death made him almost a mystical figure in the Brotherhood of Eternal Love and
he was known as “Farmer John Griggs.”
In 1970 LSD Guru
Timothy Leary received a 10-year sentence for his 1968 LSD offenses.
John Griggs along with
his partner Mike Randall had distributed 3.6 million tablets of LSD in the hay
days between 1967 and 1973. Their product was known up and down California as
"Orange Sunshine."
Eventually Carol
married Mike Randall and raised John’s three kids including “Full Buck Moon”
who was born just days before John’s death in 1969.
After Carol and Mike
went on the run, Jean Horan had my Mom, sister, and me clear out the Tee Pees
left in the canyon which was filled with eastern philosophy books, hippie
clothes, towels, and lots of cooking paraphernalia. I furnished my apartments
with mostly items Jean said we could have for clearing out the tee pees.
Eventually Carol and
Mike were arrested. The DEA was established in 1973 partly in response to the
convictions of several members of the Brotherhood of Eternal Love and Nixon’s
War on Drugs.
In April 1973 while I
at BYU, Mike, and Carol along with Jean Horan’s three grandkids fled and went
into hiding after Tom and Jeans mortgaged their home for $30,000 to bail out
Carol and Mike . I think at first, they fled the country and all of them
changed their names and identities, even the kids.
Whenever Mom and Jean
talked on the phone, they never discussed Carol’s where abouts because Jean’s
phone was wiretapped. Mom said she wouldn’t have been surprised if ours was
too.
Jean and Tom were
eventually repaid the money they lost from refinancing their house when Mike
skipped bail. An ad was placed in the Los Angeles Free Press soliciting funds
to pay for a defense fund for the "Brotherhood", however that was
just a ruse to funnel money directly to Tom and Jean. I heard Mom say that the
money was actually being sent from Mike and Carol, but it couldn’t be traced.
I also heard much later that Mike and
Carol hid out in New Mexico for years
and years still dealing drugs and into Eastern Meditation Religions.
Mike and Carol as far as I know are still
prominent members of The Brotherhood of Eternal Love living the last, I heard
up in the Bay Area of California. Carol is revered as the widow of Farmer John
the mystic prophet. And no, I never tried LDS willingly until I accidently
ingested some in 2003 that were hidden in brownies at the Lazy Bear Retreat in
Guerneville, California.
I became LDS in 1972
instead of taking LSD.
27 November 2022 Sunday
I was up by 5:30 even though I stayed up after
midnight typing up old family letters. I’ve decided that as this is my house
and if I am going to live alone, I will play music loudly and make enough noise
cleaning as I want. It might seems inconsiderate but no more so than just
ignoring me. And after all its my name on the mortgage.
I
mopped and cleaned the stairs and started sweeping the leaves from the garage,
just to stay busy. At one point I texted Kyle Foote and said he ought to pay me
the $360 that was taken out for the dump truck as I have been paying on it for
nearly a year and I don’t own it.
Well
that finally got his attention and brought him out of his lair and said he
intended to pay me, but I didn’t have to be such a dick about it in my message.
I said I wasn’t, and we went upstairs, and he followed me in to my room and
proceeded to lose his temper with me again yelling at me. I said why don’t you
just hit me, and he said he would never
hot me but proceeded to rant about my passive aggressive behavior and that I
needed to express myself to him when I needed to be with him. He said he always
tries to make time for me and when we both had tears in our eyes, I said perhaps
I am projecting on to you the feeling of being old and useless anymore. I said
that when you or Adrian Villalobos neglect to even come up to visit when you
come home, even briefly I feel I just don’t matter. I said don’t want ya’ll to
be up here for a half an hour but just to see that I am here and that you care
enough to check in on me.
Kyle
said I have to ask when I need him to spend some time with me and I said you
should know by now it’s not in my nature to ask anyone for anything. I said I
have spent my entire life taking care of others without ever asking anyone for
anything except in dire emergencies.
So,
our two natures are at odds. He needs for people to tell him their needs and I
only want to be shown without having to ask. Actually, it was therapeutic to
clear the air and express how neglected I’ve been feeling, probably from live
changes since Covid changed the world for me and other old Gay people. Gone are
the days of social parties and dinners and other get togethers. It’s hard
enough with a partner but destabilizing
sometimes for us without one.
He
wanted my account number to transfer funds $500 into my America First account to
cover the dump truck and some of the $900 water bill. I said this month has
been really hard financially with $3600 for the accident, a $900 water bill,
$450 to renew my auto insurance later, and my $250 endoscopy bill all on top of
my regular monthly expenses.
After
getting our feelings out, his screaming at me doesn’t affect me anymore, I just
wait until he’s calm knowing it will pass, we
made up and told each other that we love one another. I said we are both
messes, but we are our messes.
Later
Kyle must have taken to heart my feelings because he asked if I wanted to go
with him and Adrian to Woods Cross as he wanted to show Adrian how to go to the
EOS gym there. I just need to know and be reassured that I am part of the family.
I
can’t help wonder that typing up my old journals and letters from the early
1970’s has not contributed to my feelings of morose when all these people are
gone who I once loved when I was young.
Harvey
Milk was assassinated on this day 44 years ago and the Beatles Magical Mystery
Tour Album came out 55 years ago when I was just 16.
28 November 2022 Monday
I had an appointment to see Dr. Stoneburner
this morning at 8 for a follow up. I mainly went hoping he would give me
renewed handicap sticker for the Honda Fit but he said I was too healthy. That was disappointing. I weighed in
at 188 fully decked out in sweats and
blood pressure 139 over 67. Pulse was 60 oxygen 97 percent. I had a vitamin B
shot but otherwise everything is current. I have a wellness check up on
February 2 next year at 8:40. Will have to have blood drawn for that.
Kyle
Foote must be trying better to include me as he came up to see me before
leaving for work and he said the money
he posted to my account would be in today and it was. More surprising was when
Adrian Villalobos came upstairs to see me.
He
finally feels comfortable enough to come up and he wanted to use the kitchen to
cook some lunch. Actually, it was a very pleasant time even with the language
barrier. I showed him where he could find everything in the kitchen he could
use. He made a pot of chicken legs cooked in a tomato and onion sauce. We
visited some while it cooked, and he was fascinated with the snow that began to
fall around noon and kept up for much of the rest of the day. It is fun to see
someone who had not experienced snow be so excited about it. Adrian took lots
of pictures but wait until January he will be over it lol.
We
used his translation app to share a little. He asked if I was married, and I
said no esposa but was many years ago. He is much more curious about sex than
prudish Kyle and asked if I was a top when married and said yes but it was a
mistake. He said he was versatile which many Gays are still are at his age.
I
learned to really grow fond of this boy and played Backstreet Boys on You Tube
as he is fascinated by that boy band.
He
wanted me to eat with him and in Spanish we had “Arroz y pollo y ensalada y
pina jugo con Adrian muey bueno.” I am
having to dust off my very rusty kitchen Spanish I used 40 years ago as a
dormitory cook when I worked a lot with Mexicans.
I
think the ice is finally broken and all I really wanted from Kyle and Adrian is
to feel like I matter and that we are family and it felt like that today.
Kyle
came home to take Adrian to work at Subway because he didn’t want him on slick
snowy roads. Kyle said the Tribune photography wants to meet me tomorrow for
pictures for the article. He also said that Adrian found a new job this morning
at a food service operation called Newrest near the airport to replace the
donut shop one where he was laid off.
It’s been snowing since
noon here in Westpointe near the Jordan River and I thought the pups would have
to do without their afternoon walk. They were all asleep until 4:30 when I had to
walk the pups in the snow because they threatened to pee in the house if I
didn’t. They were shocked by the snow at first, but I made them walk anyway. They
were not happy; tough. Family isn’t always the same species.
I called and made an
appointment for Lulubelle to be groomed as she was getting rather fuzzy. It’s
at 8:30 on December 15th.
I watched some
television in the evening but didn’t work on typing up any letters as in some
ways they are painful reminders of those I love who are gone.
Kyle and Adrian came in
around 10:30 came up to say goodnight and I went to bed. I am at this moment
happy that I feel I have a family again.
Strange that Kathy
Worthington’s nephew Alma Worthington
was shot and killed by police last Sunday the 20th. Kathy's brother
Richard killed a nurse at Alta Hospital in 1991 and committed suicide in 1993
in prison. Kathy committed suicide in 2007 on the anniversary of her wife Sarah
Hamlin. News said Alma was suicidal when he shot at police. So sad
29 November 2022
Tuesday
It snowed overnight and much of the morning.
Adrian Villalobos stared his new job and Kyle went off to his jobs. Around 10 I
took the pups for a walk around the block then returned to shovel the steps,
driveway, and sidewalks. It wasn’t difficult.
Then
I dressed to go meet this photographer for photo shoot for the Tribune. I
thought they just wanted me to point out some sites, but it was like a modeling
session. He was checking the lighting and saying stand here, look there, hold this. It definitely
was not like school picture day lol. While I hate having my picture taken, I
had to keep thinking it was for posterity not vanity.
While we stood in front
of Ruby Snaps the old Utah Stonewall Center, the husband of the owner walked by
and was super friendly and mocked having his picture taken with me. He knew his
wife’s place was once a Gay community center and after us a wan mower repair
shop. He was nice and friendly.
Then we drove to the
old location of the Sun Club which nothing remains but a vacant lot. The photographer
remembered the tornado that took out the sun and I told him briefly about the
old Rio Grande area being the red-light district for years and that is why Gay
clubs flourished here in this part of the city.
We went inside Club
Verse to take more pictures as Club Verse is the newest Gay club now. I saw the
metal detector at the entrance that Mike Repp had installed after the ClubQ shootings,
and he said they are going to install ballistic proof fil over the windows that
face State Street. Kyle wasn’t there and I was hoping to see him but then we
finally went over to the Pride Center.
We stood out on the
Sidewalk while he took pictures of me in front of the Pride Center Sign. At one
point this person, named Rosa came out and after seeing us taking pictures and said
we could come inside. Francisco the Tribune
photography told her, [I am guessing] who I was and why the Tribune was
doing a story on me. I actually thought they were simply doing a story about
the early community not about me. Anyway, he told her about my history sites that
are on line like the Utah Stonewall Historical Society and the person was so
excited as only having only been hired a couple of weeks before. Earlier
Francisco said that the people inside probably knew me well and I said I
imagine not as they whole center has changed directors and staff in the past year.
This person proved my point as I told Francisco that 3 years ago, I was given a
lifetime achievement award and now no one down there knows who the hell I am
lol. Gay history like Gay relationships should be measured in dog years.
The shoot was from noon
until around 2:30 and it was tiresome standing outside in the cold as there was
still a lot of snow although it was quickly melting.
At home I took the pups
for another walk before trying to take a nap. Kyle called and said he was
transferring $1800 into my America First Credit Union so I could have a cashier
check made to pay his restitution. I suppose I will have to be the one to drive
out there to Tooele.
When Adrian came home,
I went downstairs to say Hola before he took off to go to the gym in Woods
Cross. I have a fantasy that if Adrian get deported and Kyle is still in love
with him, I would go to Mexico and marry him so he could be a legalized American
citizen. It’s always good to have a fantasy.
I went off to the
Tuesday night men’s group and there was a larger crowd there then I think Bill Blevins
was expecting about 17 men of various ages. I sat next to Paul Milne so we
could make snarky comments to each other. The topic tonight was Marriage
Equality which had just passed the U.S. Senate to be sent back down to the
House of Representative and hopefully to President Biden’s desk.
It was a lively discussion,
and I thoroughly enjoyed the exchange and I think it’s healthy when men can
exchange their thoughts without someone bemoaning that something said might
trigger someone. I am not sensitive towards coddling dysfunctionality as how
can anyone grow if they only stay within their comfort level?
Anyway, there was a new
guy there tonight I forgot his name, who came up to me after the meeting and
said he knew Kyle through Dan Fahndrich. I assured him I was aware of Kyle’s
past, that he has served him time, and he is trying to live a more ethical
life. At least I hope so, although I wouldn’t stop loving him if I found out
otherwise, just heart broken, but I have had my heart broken before by many
others. “Hearts do not break They sting and ache for old love sake but do not
die.”
I came back home just
as Kyle and Adrian were pulling into the driveway after going out to get
something to eat. As I was watching some TV Kyle came up briefly to talk and
say good night and hug me. That Is all I ever wanted. Then I fell asleep in the
lazy boy and thought I better just go to bed.
Today is my cousin
Stephanie Williams’ birthday and my 1st cousin 1st
removed Chris Johnson’s birthday.
30 November 2022
Wednesday
Looking at the December Calendar for next month
it looks like both Christmas Eve and New Year Eve with be on Saturdays this
year.
This
morning I went into Bountiful and got a cashier’s check for $1800 to take out
to Tooele to pay this month’s restitution for Kyle Foote. He deposited the
money into my account as he doesn’t have a regular account set up yet. I don’t
understand it but at least his money made it into account so the trust level is
maintained.
I
was listening to the Mikado on the way out and I missed the Lakepoint exit so I had to drive all the way to the Midvalley
Highway which took me about 20 miles out of my way, but it was a
beautiful day and just used as a scenic route.
I
made it to the Court house in Tooele by noon paid his restitution and was done.
While there I found out that Kyle can pay what he owes monthly on line rather
than show up in person.
Anyway,
it was around 1 when I was back at the house, and I suppose all the drive wore
me out so I took a nap and missed Kyle’s text that he would have liked me to
come down to Club Verse to help him with some construction.
In
the late afternoon, I went grocery shopping for items to make a meat loaf for dinner
tonight. That sound kind of good so after coming back that is what I did and
some scalloped potatoes.
I
was alone for all day and never saw Kyle of Adrian Villalobos all day. I
watched some television and another
episode of Wednesday a Tim Burton series based on Wednesday Addams.
So
ends another November. Not one of my favorite months as the colors of fall have
by now faded and it starts to get dark so early with the fading sun.
Financially it’s been a rough month and I think a lot of my melancholy has been
due to light depredation syndrome.
DECEMBER
1 December 2022
Thursday
Today is my nephew
James Clark’s 54th birthday as we all grow older. Kyle Foote came up
while I was still typing this morning and asked if I would go to Club Verse
today to help out with some construction. I agreed but first walked the pups before
heading down.
At the club, Kyle was working on the Drag Queen’s
changing room and the DJ’s booth. This older Lesbian friend of the owners named
Rae came down to help also. She was an old school butch dyke which I always liked,
and we worked as helpers to Kyle.
While there Mike Romero
called and said that he was bringing Coco over as he need to go to South Jordan
to have his catheter switch out at 2. I told him I would drive him.
I was surprised to see
Kevin Hillman who had come down to the
bar. I hadn’t seen him in ages. He said he finally retired from the post office
last September. He looked pretty old, but I guess we all do. He was still
riding in rodeos at his age but was thrown at the last one. He’s not in the
best of health as we has diabetes, prostate cancer and he’s has been HIV since
the early 90s. I was one of the first people he told back at the old Utah
Stonewall Center right before Pride Day which he was co-director at the time with
Debbie Rosenberg.
It was good to see him
and when I introduced him to Kyle, Kyle was rather rude to him and refused to
tell Kevin his last name. I have no idea what that is all about and didn’t have
time to find out as that then Kyle showed me a picture that Adrian sent, of his
cutting his finger at work that looked pretty bad.
So, I left and rushed
home to meet Adrian and bandage it and see if he needed stitches. It wasn’t as
bad as it looked in the photo, so I put Neosporin on it and wrapped it with gauze.
He said he mainly need to go downstairs to sleep.
When Mike came over, we
hit a head wind the entire way down to the clinic on the Mountain Corridor and
it was windy all day really, in front of a snow storm coming in tomorrow. We
were only there a short time and Mike’s nurse this time was an older lady who
knew what she was doing without much pain, so he’s requested her from now.
Back home Kyle said
that he wouldn’t need me, so I stayed home and made some spit pea soup which I
had for my supper.
When
Kyle came home around 7, he asked if I would go with him in the morning to help
paint what was constructed. I said I would. He also said that Loco Burger is
going to open a location in the unused kitchen next to Manny’s Bar and he was
the one instigating that, so he was excited about that.
As today is World AIDS
Day I posted a tribute to Patty Reagan on my Utah Stonewall History Face Book
Page and some information on my own page.
In 1988 I created the
Utah AIDS Memorial Quilt Project and solicited many community leaders to join me. I had come back from the 1987 March
on Washington and knew how powerful the AIDS Quilt was and wanted to bring that
experience back to Utah.
While we had several
successful fund raisers no one was making panels, so I made the first one in
Utah as a model. John Bennett suggested Princess Royale Tracey Ross who had
recently died. I did not know her at all, but hand stitched the panel and Bruce
Barton hemmed it for me. Only later did I hear that people thought the panel
matched her personality perfectly.
Between 1986 when I
came out, until I stopped keeping track in 1997, I lost 22 Friends, lovers, and community
activist acquaintances to AIDS. It was like living in a war zone. I recorded
hundreds more, over the years, who I didn't know personally but were active in
most of Salt Lake's Gay and Lesbian Community in one way or another.
Many more people than I
lost their friends and lovers and even life partners. We read the obituaries
daily to see who else we might have known who died. Obituaries were almost
written in code by families ashamed that their sons died of AIDS. Funerals and
memorials were apart of Gay life and along with tears there was laughter
because after all we were Gay.
I posted just a few of the men who I knew who
were a part of my journey who died too young. Some were lovers, some dear
friends, and most were people who had touched my life in one way or another. The
least I can do is remember them on this day.
Old age was a privilege
denied to them, but I will always remember them all and how fun, gay, and full
of life they all were. Thank you for helping me navigate being a Gay man in a
hard time.
Mark Bluto age 35, Stephen Baustrand ca 30, John
R. Sassaman age 41, Michael Elliott age 35, John Lorenzini age 43, Bobby Dubray
age 42, Wayne Elliott age 26, Bobby Martinez age 30, Bob Christensen age 50, Dave
Reed age 40, David Sharpton age 32, Gene Gudaitis age 39, Ralph Place age 42 Lon Wright ca.40, Ragnar McCall age 35,Ken
Francis age 33, John Gatzemeier age 43, Bill Sims age 33, Scott Spinks age 40, Mason
Rankin age 56, Barb Barnhart age 34, and Mark Bryner age 47
I was up early this morning and saw that Kyle
Foote was clearing the sidewalk with the snowblower. We had about 4 inches over
night, but it had ended snowing before getting up and we never had the horrible
snow storm for commuter that that was predicted.
Kyle wanted me to go
with him to Club Verse to help him paint the DJ booth he built yesterday so we
headed down there where Lynn Katoa let
us in at 8.
I
helped Kyle were I could and painted the corners which he couldn’t get with the
roller brush. He also installed some mirrors in where the drag queen dressing
room will be behind the DJ stage.
Around
noon Adrian Villalobos came down to the Club for Kyle to help him with his
social media accounts that were hacked by Adrian’s psychotic former boyfriend.
I think Kyle fixed them, so Adrian is safe now.
Adrian
took me home around 1:30 and I was tired and hungry as I hadn’t had anything to
eat, not even breakfast. It was an adventure riding with someone who doesn’t
know much English, but he needed to cash his payroll check, so we went to
Rancho Market on 9th West. I guided him to it the best I could and there
the place had an instore check cashing place for mainly Latinos. Adrian looks
so Anglo American that the girl cashing his check could hardly believe he was
Columbian. Well, he was born in Venezuela.
It
was nearly 3 when we returned to the house, and I walked the pups and tried to
nap but couldn’t. Kyle came home shortly after we did to drive Adrian to
work because he didn’t want him driving in
this weather, him not being used to it.
I
didn’t do much else but feed the pups, watch some news on Television and an
episode of Abbott Elementary and Netflix’s Wednesday.
Kyle
came home around 9 to shower, change, and go pick up Adrian before heading back
to Club Verse. He told me a little bit about how controlling Adrian’s ex-boyfriend
is and possibly dangerous. Adrian earlier showed me pictures when he was a
model and his ex, even kept him from
going to the gym which is why he’s obsessed with going back now. Kyle also made
a point that he works as a “consultant” for Club Verse and not hired as a
contractor. I guess that is important to him as he is trying to get clients. Oh
well.
3 December 2022
Saturday
I went down to Club Verse at noon because Kyle
Foote called and asked if there was any meat loaf and scalloped potatoes at
home. He didn’t want Pho that the others down there were eating. So, I opened a
can of creamed corn and heated up the rest in the microwave and brought a plate
down to him. While there I saw the improvements, he made to the drag queens’
dressing room by hanging the doors. I said hi to Micheal Repp, Lynn Katoa, and
Riley Richter all who were eating lunch before I left to go back home.
I
downloaded an app called “Say Hi” that translates English to Spanish and back so
I can communicate more effectively with Adrian Villalobos who was at work and
at the gym for much of the day. When he came home, he heated up his pollo y
arroz and ate upstairs while we visited and then Kyle came home. It was the
first time we actually were together and while Kyle and Adrian mostly spoke in Spanish,
I understood a bit but mostly glad to be part of like we are a family.
Adrian
was very tired from working so much and said he missed his mother. I am sure he
is homesick some being only 25 years old and so far away from everything he
knew growing up.
When
they left to go down stairs, I watched some television but actually was tired
and went to bed by 9.
It was rather chilly
out while walking the pups and I figured out that its about .225 miles to walk
around the block so by doing it twice a day that’s about a half a mile. That’s
not bad to get some exercise I suppose.
4 December 2022 Sunday
Both Kyle Foote and Adrian Villalobos left
early this morning and I never saw either one of them today except when I did
communicate through the “Say Hi” app with Adrian. The weather was chilly walking the pups and when I went
out later, I bought gas at Exxon because it was down to $3.53 which is quite a
drop from $3.65 it was last week.
Last
week I received a message from Ross Poore saying that Bill was going into
surgery at the Huntsman Cancer Center December 1st in the morning
and would “recovery at 7 pm”. He said Bill will be there for about a week with
two teams of surgeons then he will go “to rehab or assisted living.” Jim Marcus,
his brother-in-law was assisting him through the treatment.
So,
since I was home alone, I felt like I should go visit Bill and try and track him down at the Huntsman
Cancer Hospital. I had never been there before and hope I never have to be
there for myself although the edifice is magnificent. He was in room 5505 up
there. Finally, I was able to track him down. I know he was surprised to see me,
and he almost
started to cry.
It was rather shocking
to see him all wired up with intravenous tubes and his right side of his
forehead all stitched up. He had cancer removed about the size of a small
orange and his right eye looked swollen. He had this sore spot on his forehead from
way back years ago that he ignored, and I guess turned cancerous.
However, he was semi-lucid,
and we visited for about an hour. He said that he had been thinking of me and
was even going to just show up at the house and not let his feelings about Kyle
interfere with us being friends. He said he really missed me, and I said I
thought about him a lot also.
I really don’t know what
his prognosis is as I didn’t talk to a doctor. Bill is so optimistic, but I
think has a touch of dementia. He was 74 at his last birthday last February and
said that his sister Janice Marcus definitely has dementia now.
Bill is as deaf as ever,
so I spent much of the time shouting. He said except for having diabetes and
this cancer he was felt well but realizes he cannot really live alone in his
studio apartment over on 4th East and 8th South, that he
only pays $500 a month for. He knows he will have to be in an assisted living home,
and he suggested that he move in with me since I have that spare bedroom. I let
him know that was an option if his health permits, but I don’t think it will. After
he is released, he will probably go into a care facility.
He knows he shouldn’t
drive anymore having wrecked to vehicles, one he wrecked running through a red
light. but said also said he bought another one that is just sitting in front
of his lodgings. I doubt he will ever be able to live alone or drive again. We
all get old don’t we, or at least some of us?
We caught up a little on
his family from when we were last together, a year and a half ago. His brother
Ross is down with a bad back and needs an operation, his sisters Janice has
dementia, and Jeanie had a leg amputated.
A nurse came in about 1
in the afternoon, so I left not to tire him out. He also told the nurse he was
having a little pain.
I needed to see Bill
and let him know I care about him as he has always been good to me, if onery at
times. I guess Ross heard I had been up to visit as he wrote me and said, “Thank
you very much for your visit, I know it meant a lot. Bill has not been the same
after not seeing you. I know he can be difficult, but you made a difference. I
think he is more humbled and frankly afraid now. I cannot make it to the hospital,
but I am working closely with Jim and will do anything he needs financially. My
best.”
Back at the house I
just baked a Marie Callendar Razzleberry pie, but I didn’t end up eating any of
it.
In the news moronic
trump said he thought the Constitution should be abolished. Can he get anymore
stupid? That should not be taken as a challenge.
5 December 2022 Monday
Bill Poore called me this morning on his new
phone to reconnect and give me an update. He said he might be discharged from
Huntsman tomorrow if they can find an accommodation for him in a care facility
which they haven’t found yet. He also said the doctors believe they might not
have found all the cancer so he will have some radiation treatment. He is still
optimistic that he will be able to eventually come over to see me and the dogs.
The
morning started off bright and sunny, but clouds rolled in and soon it was overcast,
and the news said during the late afternoon rush hour it was snowing heavily in
Utah County but not here in Salt Lake.
Adrian
Villalobos came home around 4 this afternoon and he looked really tired so left
him alone to rest until he came up later on his own. I’ve grown quite fond of
him in a very short time. He said he had so much to do like his laundry,
shopping, and cooking for the weeks. He asked me if I would cook his rice up
for the week which I did while he cleaned down stairs.
When Kyle Foote came home,
we visited slightly about work. He said he and the hard-working dyke Rae got
the stairs finished for the stage and he said I could come in tomorrow around 1
to help him at the club. He said he only got about 4 hours of slept last night
and that was interrupted as the alarm went off at Club Verse and Mike Repp
asked him to meet him there in the middle of the night. Then Adrian’s alarm
goes off at 6:30 so he can leave the house and then Kyle stays awake to make
sure he doesn’t fall back to sleep.
They
left to go shopping at Walmart this evening and I suppose out to dinner as
Adrian brought me home some garlic bread. I didn’t stay up much longer after
Adrian bagged up his rice and went back down stairs
I kept the pups in my room for most of the
morning after Mike Romero dropped off Coco at 7 so he could go to his dentist
appointment. Kyle Foote asked me last night if I would because he needed his
sleep.
It was rather foggy out this morning and 1700
North has all these barriers up and down the street so must be getting ready to
do something to it.
Mike
was back by 10 and I let the pups out and while we were visiting Bill Poore
called but I didn’t pick up because of Mike, so Bill left a message saying he
had been moved out of the Huntsman Cancer Center to a care facility called Woodland
Rehab on about 3800 South and 700 East.
I tried calling him
back several times throughout the day, but he never picked up. Around 5 he
called again, and I picked up immediately, but he said he couldn’t hear me, so
he let me go.
I
cooked up two of Adrian Villalobos’ steaks and marinaded the three others so
they wouldn’t go bad and around noon,
Kyle called and asked me to bring some lunch down to Club Verse, which I did. I
brought some of the steak I cooked and some of the left-over scalloped potatoes.
Kyle said that the Tribune article on me will come out this Sunday.
While
I was at the club, Kyle had me paint the door from the dressing room to the
stage and the steps up to the stage from the dance floor. Everything is being
painted black. I was down there for around three hours and will go back
tomorrow for a second coat.
I
was rather tired when I was back at the house having been up since 5:30 but I
couldn’t get much of a nap after walking the pups a second time and deboning a
chicken for the pups supper.
I
was almost too tired to go to Bill Blevin’s Gay men’s group, but I did mostly
out of community service. I need the company I suppose also, and they need what
John Reeves used call my “Ben thing.” I
have a way of getting people engaged and it was no different tonight when the
topic was on “shame.”
There was at least 20
people there the most I’ve seen and every chair in the circle was filled. I
always sit next to Paul Milne and near Dwight Wood, we three making up the old
timers. There were a lot this time in their 30’s and at least one or two in
their 20’s. I think people come because they are hungry for a sense of
community.
When
I came home around 8:30 I saw that Kyle was home but not Adrian who I didn’t
see all day as he leaves so early and then gets home so late. I went to bed
around 9 and when I woke up to go pee, I noticed that Adrian’s car was still
not here. I guess I worry about my chicks like Mom did.
7 December 2022
Wednesday
I woke up for some reason around 3:30 probably
from going to bed so early last night and I decided just to get up and type. I
wrote an article of Gay Liberation coming to Utah in 1969 and posted to my Face Book Utah Stonewall
History site. I then went back to bed to rest and was there when Kyle Foote
came up at 10 this morning saying he was going to be so busy today that I
didn’t need to go back in to Club Verse to help finishing painting. I was glad
because I was tired from getting up so early.
Around noon I went to
the Quick Quack Car Wash which I hadn’t been since the accident and then over
to the Wasatch Springs animal clinic where I was surprised that they had closed
at noon. I have an appointment to see the vet for TJ tomorrow morning and I had
forgotten to write the time down, so I wanted to check. I’m not sure whether it’s
for 8 or 10.
Anyway,
then went and got a Dr. Pepper at Common Cents and saw that gas prices had
dropped again and now it was $3.35. That was a big decline even since I last
filled up the other day.
Coming back to the
house I replaced the American flag that has been torn and tattered from the
wind with a flag I had in the garage. It is Pearl Harbor Day and Flags are supposed
to be at half-mast.
I
typed up old letters primarily for much of the afternoon. The ones I saved from
when I was a member of the Garden Grove Historical Society from 1970 and 1971, I
am saving and want to return to them since they are from Don Dobmeier who was
the president of the society 50 years ago. I am also saving a few of Grandma Johnson’s
letters that mention Chris Johnson, her great grandson, to send to him.
I
was waiting for my niece to call me, which Denise did around 2:30. It was a
brief conversation because her grandson was in the car with her and had thrown
up and she had to attend to that. However, she said she wasn’t on Face Book
anymore which is probably a good thing and where she got so much of her crazy
conservative thinking.
She also said that my
nephew James is going to be a Grandpa as his daughter Abagail is expecting. Denise said she works weird hours from 4 to 2 in
the afternoon for some airline as she is a mechanic and I guess still living
with her partner Heidi and Heidi’s mother and grandmother which she says is a
challenge. Well, we all have challenges in this life.
I
was not hungry at all today. I even cooked a frozen spinach and mushroom pizza
which after having a few bites I ended up throwing away. I knew I would not eat
it and no one else is here to eat it so why keep it?
I
think the corn chowder I made the other day with outdated milk is not settling
well with me. Yesterday it kind of upset my stomach and again today after
having a small bowl of it, it kind of didn’t set right with me either so I
guess I will throw it out too.
I
watched the news where it showed that people are concerned that domestic
terrorists will attack our vulnerable power substations like they did in North
Carolina and of course the Democrats, me included, are excited about the
election outcome in Georgia.
So grateful that
Warnock won which made Senator Manchin irrelevant and now cannot hold Biden's
agenda hostage any more. Democrats are 51 to 49 in the Senate now and are in
charge of approving Biden’s justices as well.
Time
Magazine chose Ukraine’s Zelensky as Peron of the Year which is well deserved.
I
went to bed around 9 and woke up around 10:30 when Kyle was rummaging in the
kitchen for some matches. So, I got up and found them for him. He asked me to
go with Adrian and him out to breakfast tomorrow and I said I would if it
didn’t interfere with TJ’s appointment. He gave me a hug and I went back to
bed.
8 December 2022
Thursday
It snowed overnight so this morning I took the
snow blower out and wasn’t too impressed with it as it seemed to push the snow
rather than blow it out.
I then took TJ to Wasatch
Springs vet this morning at 10 and the poor pooch has a leaky heart valve which
he will be on pills for the rest of his days. The condition made him often not
catch his breath so that is why I took him in. The little wart, the vet said,
was too old to do much else but for him to be on medicine but otherwise TJ is
rather spry. At least the vet didn’t say he is on his last leg as he did with old Buster. Most of TJ's
teeth are gone, kind of like me, and that what caused his condition. I guess it
is common in small breeds. He got his rabies and other shots current, and boy
did he scream. It was about $215 to have him looked at.
Around
11 Kyle Foote and Adrian Villalobos were ready to go out for breakfast. We went
to “Our Kitchen” in North Salt Lake. The food was good, and I paid for the
three of us which was around $40. I remember when Breakfast used to be the
cheapest meal you could eat.
Kyle
and Adrian then went off shopping because Kyle said he needed some new blue
jeans and Adrian wanted to buy some Christmas decorations for downstairs since
it was his first Christmas here. Kyle borrowed by Visa Card as his debit card
still hadn’t come in and he was worried some places wouldn’t accept his payments
over the phone.
I was tired today for
some reason and had some stomach issues, but I decided to go down to the
Woodland Park Care Center located near 3900 South and 700 East to see Bill
Poore. He was released from the Huntsman Cancer Center the other day.
The place is a maze,
but I found him in room 400 and just lying there in a hospital bed against the
wall. Its rather scary how quickly one can decline at a certain age.
Trying to visit with
him, I discovered even more that he is only semi lucid as he is irrational
about his condition. He thinks he can go home, wants to spend the night at my
house to see the pups, and thinks that all that is wrong with him is his
cancer. While I was there visiting, he
was incoherent, asked the same questions several times, and was generally
confused.
He said at one point
that his driver’s license has been suspended for some time now and he has a
major fine of $250 for driving without a
valid license. I told him if he needed to go somewhere to call an Uber, but he
has forgotten what they are. I know and I think he knows he can never live
outside of a care center or residence home now as he is mostly bedridden, but he insists that he’s going
home and then in the same breath says he needs to be out of his studio
apartment.
Walking through the
care center and seeing all the folks there in wheelchairs and bedridden, I
thank Providence that I can still live in my own home, take care of myself, and
my pups, can still drive, and mentally, I think, am still functional. I can
still go down to Club Verse and paint steps and doors and attend Gay men
support groups. I think I can still write coherent histories.
You never know what the
future will bring but I am truly grateful I can still take care of others
rather than me being taken care of. I certainly hope when it’s my time that I
just drop like my dad did, rather than
just linger. Or fall asleep in my bed like old Buster did. I am
especially glad I have my funeral taken
care of, so I won’t be a burden to anyone. Glad also I that don’t need it quite yet.
I came back to the
house to finally rest some and I didn’t feel well for much of the day with
stomach issues and just a general feeling of tiredness. May be it’s the weather
but I did take the pups around the block twice today.
Kyle called me in the
late afternoon and said that at the place he was at, my Visa Card was declined.
Probably because he was using it a lot today at various places. I know I have
lots of money in the bank to cover anything, so I just let him use my debit
card over the phone. Perhaps that was foolish but after I am gone what will it
matter?
Adrian and Kyle came
home around 5:30 with all their treasures and brought me two beautiful Poinsettias
because Kyle knows I like them for the holidays. They were busy downstairs cleaning
and decorating and I watched “It’s a Charlie Brown Christmas”, too tired to do much else after feeding the
pups. I retired to bed around 8:30 after I had posted some information about
Camp Kearns on my history site. It seemed like such a long day.
The basketball player who
was arrested and sent to prison in Russia was released in a prisoner swap. Why
any one goes to Russia without official governmental reasons is crazy.
9 December 2022 Friday
Kyle Foote wanted me to come help down at Club
Verse early this morning but first I had to go Lucky’s to buy some chicken for
the pups’ supper as I used the last of it yesterday. He had forgotten his
laptop also, so I had to go down stairs to have Adrian Villalobos hand it to
me. He was just getting out of the shower and he’s not nearly as prudish as
Kyle is about his body. Maybe because he was a model in Columbia.
I
was down at the club by 9 this morning and worked until after 11 painting the
steps to the stage and the door to the stage from the dressing room. When Kyle
had to leave to a meeting with Loco Burger, I left for home because I had
finished.
I was a little hungry, so I had a tostado and
then went into Bountiful to get my Visa Card unblocked and then up to
Centerville where I bought to bags of dog treats at Walmart. After getting a
drink at Common Cents I finally came home and stayed for the rest of the day.
Adrian was downstairs
listening to his Latino music, and it made me happy that there’s some youthful
energy back in the house. He had to go to work about when I was out walking the
pups but did say goodbye to me. Of all Kyle’s boyfriends and tricks, Adrian is
the most sweet to me.
Jim
Dabakis sent a quote to the Salt Lake Tribune for the article that is being
written about me that was wanted by Palak Jayswal’s editor. It was very
thoughtful and kind of him.
He
wrote, “ Ben Williams has carefully gathered primary source material on Utah queer
history for the last 50 years. After most of us are long forgotten, future
historians will honor Ben’s meticulous work in collecting the history of the LGBTQ
community in Utah during this astonishing period- from the initial movement,
through the AIDS pandemic, to marriage equality. Ben has been there every single
day, pen in hand.”
I’ve
been posting on my Stonewall History site a lot lately about individuals. I
posted one today about David Nelson and all that he has done for the Gay
Community in the past.
I
was watching the Grinch Who Stole Christmas when Kyle came home. I had him fix
the oven handle that had fallen off. I thought it needed an Allen wrench, but
it didn’t. He then took me downstairs to show me that he hung a stocking for me
as well as for himself and Adrian. Their Christmas tree was quite lovely that
Adrian decorated.
I
haven’t had much of an appetite lately, but I suppose that is natural at my
age. Nothing really seems to taste all that good as I remember.
Bill
Poore left a phone message saying that when he gets out of the care facility,
he wants to take Kyle, Adrian, and me to lunch so to make amends. It was a sad
message because he was totally delusional about how sick he is.
10 December 2022
Saturday
“T'wasn't the night before Christmas” but all through the house not a creature was
stirring not even a mouse because he was dead on my bathroom floor. I saw it
when I went to take a shower. What I hate more than seeing a live mouse is
finding a dead one! I am such a sissy.
Kyle Foote came home around
noon and said he wasn’t feeling well and not sure whether he’s getting sick or
that he’s exhausted from being over extended with his jobs. He asked me to keep
the pups quiet so he could rest so that’s what I did for much of the day, so I
didn’t go anywhere or do much. Only time I left the house was to the walk the
pups. There’s a lot of flu and Covid19 still around and I hope Kyle isn’t
getting sick.
For much of the evening
I watched my favorite Angela Lansbury movie “Something For Everyone” also
staring a young Michael York. I first saw this movie in 1969 and it was the
first film where I ever saw a boy kiss another boy in a film. The film, while
my favorite, is a mostly unknown Angela Lansbury film. Michael York was rather
unknown at the time. The director was Hal Prince and the scenes in Germany are
magnificent.
The plot is that
Michael York is a sociopath German schemers who wants to own a castle in post
war German owned by impoverished Angela Lansbury. York convinces Lansbury to
marry her son off to the daughter of a nouveau riche couple. York had been
sleeping with both to convince them to marry each other but neither knows he
had been seducing the other. It’s a deliciously wicked black humor film and
Lansbury is gorgeous as the Countess. Murder, intrigue, sex, and a surprise
ending twist
Most people think the great
shocking reveal in the film is where Anna Lisa sees Michael York kissing her
new husband, but the ending is the real surprise.
I think I instantly had
a crush on any boy who reminded me of Michael York for years, especially Billy
Bikowski. That kiss yowzah!!
Kyle came up around 7
to fix himself some Tomato Soup. While he was making it, we visited some
Shenanigans down at Club Verse with some transgenders who were totally drunk and
upset saying they were being picked on. Kyle never used the words Transgender because
he is more careful than I am to be sensitive in the brave new non binary world.
I didn’t say a word about how some of
them feel they are always being picked on when they are the ones who cause the
drama themselves. Oh well. I have my own issues but happy to be a Gay man with
a dick.
I
have been posting a lot of funny memes that I call the “War of Christmas”. I
realize Christmas is the remnant of ancient Paganism, which doesn't prevent me however
from putting up a Nativity Scene with Joseph, Mary, Baby Jesus, a shepherd, 3
Wise men, cows and donkeys and an angel as well putting up my Pagan Christmas
tree. Whatever the reason I want to enjoy the season. I’m not going to have a
blue Christmas. Not sure how many I have left.
11 December 2022 Sunday
Kyle Foote stayed down stairs for much of the
day resting while Adrian Villalobos had to go work his two jobs. Kyle came up
in the afternoon for us to go get our Dr. Peppers at Common Cents, the first
time we have done that in a while. We first stopped at Lucky’s as that Kyle
wanted some corn tortillas as he was in the mood for a grilled cheese quesadilla.
He also made another bowl of tomato soup of which I ate some. I should go and
buy some more tomorrow.
Anyway,
he said he was more achy than having stomach issues. I wonder if he caught the
flu that is going around. Andy Dalrymple said he tested positive for Covid
again.
I
typed up some more of Grandma Johnsons letters from the Sixties I had saved so
I can send the original to Chris Johnson the only great grandson to carry on
the Johnson name.
It
was extremely windy today ahead of a cold front but this morning when I walked
the pups it was warm and pleasant out for a December but by their afternoon
walk it had turned damp and chilly.
Lulubelle
was acting strange today and didn’t eat any supper which is so unusual for her
as she usually has to be kept away from eating everyone else’s. I didn’t force
her to eat as if her tummy is upset, she will eat again when feeling better.
Kyle
had to go out to Manny’s this evening and needed to borrow the Visa for some
reason.
I
have been using an app called “Say Hi” to communicate with Adrian. It
translates what I say into Spanish and his replies I can translate back into English.
Kyle had told me that Adrian had only been in the country about 4 months and
through this app Adrian and I communicate but some of his expressions translate
a bit differently in English, but I get the general meaning. He was concerned
about Kyle not being well.
He
wrote, “ Kyle is sick. Please take care of him for me while I get home.” I wrote back, “Not sure if sick or exhausted from
working so much but he has been resting all day. I hope you slept well and having
a good morning. I haven’t seen Kyle yet. Hope he is feeling better. He’s still
home so hope he is getting rest. I just walked the dogs, and it was nice out.
Take care.”
“It’s
okay I understand let’s hope he recovers. Yes, I’ve been working hard but it’s
my turn to fight every day, my friend. Thank you very much for the information.
Take care of yourself tomorrow afternoon break. Yes, I’ve been very tired with my two jobs but
here we go in the fight, friend Ben”
I
wrote back, “ At least you will always have a warm bed at my house when you are
tired from work. Eventually life gets better, take care.”
“Yes
Ben, most of us, because in order to come to the United states, I borrowed
money from the Bank of Columbia, my mother was the one who helped me and that’s
why I crossed the border through Mexico. Previously I applied for a visa, but
they denied it, now I’m here and I have to pay that money, not counting my car,
which is monthly insurance, among many other things , that’s why I have to work
as a double friend. The truth is I am very grateful to you, and I feel blessed
to have you as a family and to be in your house for me it is a great gift that
you give me a roof over my head and well, I have a good man by my side, Kyle.”
I
then wrote, “You can stay here as long as you need to and put your money into
your needs. I am happy to have you stay here. It is nice to have youthful
energy here. I enjoy your company even if we speak two different languages. Be
careful coming home. It is very windy out and a storm is coming in.”
12 December 2022 Monday
I was up early around 4:30 because I couldn’t
sleep any longer, so I just got on the computer and wrote up an article on
Chuck Whyte to post to my history site. Chuck is certainly an over looked hero
in building this community. Anyway, I did that until nearly 11 in the morning,
rewriting and editing before walking the pups.
Later
I went to Lucky’s to buy some more Progresso Tomato Basil Soup that Kyle Foote
enjoys that was on sale for $1.30 and normally over $2.00 a can. I also saw
some Holiday Rice Krispies on sale and thought how tasty marshmallow rice
Krispies would be to make so bought some of those also. At Exxon I noticed that Gas has dropped to $3.25 a gallon from a
high of over $5.00 last summer.
Chuck
Whyte returned my text about going out to lunch this week and we agreed to go
tomorrow. I have no idea whether he read my posting on the History site.
I
walked the pups in the afternoon and most of the skiff of snow we had this
morning had melted although other places in Utah, especially the mountains,
were pounded with snow.
Lulubelle
still does not have an appetite. Not sure if she’s just not feeling well or it’s
something else. She didn’t eat yesterday, and she was not hungry today although
she did eat a little of her Caesar dog food.
I
didn’t see Adrian Villalobos all day and when Kyle came home around 7:30 he
asked me to go to Club Verse tomorrow morning to help him out. I said I would
but had to leave after 11:00 because I
said I would meet Chuck at 11:30 for lunch.
I
didn’t get a nap in, so I went to bed by 9.
13 December 2022
Tuesday
It was snowing this morning when I got up early
and when it was time to leave to go help Kyle Foote at Club Verse, he had me go
with him as he didn’t want me driving in the snow.
The
weather was worse as we headed into the city at 9, almost a white out, and at
the club I mainly helped him construct this platform against the restrooms. Lynn
Katoa was the first one in around 10:30 and then Riley Richter came about the
time Kyle, and I needed to leave to go pick Chuck Whyte up for lunch. Kyle took
us to Charlie Chows and dropped us off.
I
ordered a cup of hot and sour soup and some spring rolls and an take-out order for
Kyle of a Combination Orange Chicken lunch special. I paid for my own dinner
and Kyle’s while Chuck paid for his Shrimp combination plate.
There’s
so little to talk about any more and I have to almost force a conversation. Sometimes
he stares off into space so not sure what is going on there. I don’t want to be
one of those old couples who just sit and eat and not converse. I get enough of
that whenever Kyle and I go out.
Chuck did not mention
much about the article I wrote about him for the Utah Stonewall Historical
Lecture Series site. Not even sure if he actually read any of it as he
commented that it was long. I did ask him how he got involved with the court
and it was at one of Joanie Lynn’s [Gordon Kotterwinkle] fundraisers right
after she was made Empress when she said the court can only exist with the help
of people.
Chuck
Whyte had an appointment to pick up some medical equipment at the LDS hospital afterwards
and Kyle drove us up, but we barely made it up the hill as the snow was coming
down really hard in the Avenues. Why all SLC hospitals are so inaccessible is ridiculous
and the U of U is just as bad.
We
made it safe however, and after taking Chuck home we went back to Club Verse so
Kyle could eat his lunch as he said he was hungry. We didn’t do any more work
there and Kyle just took me back home. He seemed rather stressed today.
As
there was a break in the storm, I decided to clear off the steps, the sidewalks
and driveway, all 100 feet of my corner lot, which I finished just in time as
the middle school got out at 2:30.
The battery for the
snow blower was out of juice so it was back to the old fashion way of man and
shovel versus the snow. We only had about 4 inches compared to other places some
which had a foot, and the snow wasn't too wet and heavy, so it wasn’t too bad besides,
I had my Elmer Fudd hat on and snow boots. I even cleaned off the snow piled on
Adrian Villalobos KIA parked in front of the house. I am such a responsible
home owner.
Taco must have been a
mail man in a previous incarnation as “neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom
of night” stays Taco from the swift completion of his appointed rounds. The
pups didn’t get a morning walk and I tried telling him it’s snowing out
and he called me a pussy, so I put on my
snow boots and hat and off we went. Taco, Maxx, and Lulubelle went fine
bounding through the snow, but I had to carry TJ snuggled up to me the whole
distance because where the sidewalks had not been cleaned the snow scraped his belly but at least he got
to go along. Damn dogs making miss my
nap time. Ha!
When I fixed the pups
their supper, Lulubelle must be feeling better because her appetite started to
come back and was eating again.
I had planned on going
to the Men’s Group tonight, but it snowed again after having cleared off
everything outside and all was covered again with at least 2 inches of snow. I
didn’t trust how the roads would be, so I just stayed home disappointed not to
have supported Paul Milne who gave his bio talk tonight. However, I kind of
know his story anyway. He left Utah about 18 years old, moved to Chicago, was
active there, moved to Florida, had a long-time lover who died a few years ago,
and he had moved back to Utah before the pandemic.
I never saw Kyle or
Adrian all evening and went to bed
around 9 after trying to watch some television.
In the news President
Biden brought us an early Christmas present by encoding into federal law
marriage equality. Nearly 9 years after a last-minute decision by United States District Court Judge Robert
Shelby for the District of Utah ruled in Derek Kitchen v. Gary Herbert on
December 20, 2013, that Utah's ban on marriage equality was
unconstitutional. The ruling caused a
mad dash to county clerk offices by hundreds of Gays and Lesbians quickly
legalizing their relationships before the decision probably being overturned.
It wasn't, and in 2014 the U.S. Supreme Court agreed that marriage equality was
a fundamental right. That is until Trump's religiously conservative court
hinted that marriage equality was not a
fundamental right after having overturned Roe Vs. Wade.
14 December 2022
Wednesday
Who needs a gym membership in Utah if you own a
home in the winter? It’s not even officially winter yet. After all that
shoveling yesterday the snow gods laughed and dumped 4 inches more overnight
erasing all my hard work. Screw you Snow gods, but we do need the water.
So, I was out this
morning at 8:30 while it was still lightly snowing and cleared the driveway
again, removed snow from the porch and steps, and shoveled all 100 feet of my
sidewalk and then thought what the hell so shoveled 50 feet of my west
neighbor, Victor’s sidewalk and then 100 feet of my next-door neighbor Carlos
Bahena’s corner lot. Thank goodness snow was mostly fluffy and dry so easy to push around.
I then took the pups
for their morning constitutional around the block and then cleaned off Kyle Foote
and Adrian Villalobos’s cars, so the snow doesn’t freeze on them. Maybe I don’t deserve a
handicap car sticker after all but still want one.
I was done at nearly 11,
so I finally came in to warm up and have a Rice Krispie marshmallow snack; yummy. I should not make Rice Krispie treats. I
already ate 7 yesterday. I have a dozen
more in the freezer as not to tempt me further.
Around noon I asked
Kyle if he needed any help at Club Verse and he did, so I went into the city
where a blizzard blew in. I was able to park right in front of the Club on
State Street, however, so didn’t have to walk in the storm. It snowed for the
rest of the afternoon.
I was there mainly to
help with constructing a platform in front of the bathrooms by assisting Kyle
with handing him things. We stopped at 3 to quicky go out to Newrest at 3555 W
Ninigret Dr, where Adrian works off of California and Gladiolas Streets to pick him up and take
him to his job at Subway on Third West
neat Lowes. I got into the back seat so Adrian could be with Kyle. It was sweet
to see Adrian so enamored with Kyle.
I only stayed about 2
more hours at Club Verse leaving at 5 as I was really getting tired and needed
to go home and feed the pups. I had been up since 5 this morning. At the house
snow had fallen off the roof onto the driveway so I had to shovel that also, or
I’d have trouble in the morning getting out.
I have to take Lulubelle
to the groomers at 8:30 and at 10:30 I have to go to Discount Tires to have new
tires put on Kyle’s Terrain as his are worn out and not safe in this weather.
I was so tired I fell
asleep watching a show on the Curiosity Channel that when I woke, I just went
to bed instead. It was only about 8 at night.
15 December 2022
Thursday
It was one of those busy day and on top of it all
it snowed again last night so I had to shovel again this morning. Kyle Foote
took Adrian Villalobos to some appointment at 8 and Lulabelle’s Grooming
appointment was at 8:30. The roads were ice packed so it was very slow going but we made it without
incident.
Back at the house I
scraped off more of the snow from the steps and shovel the sidewalks. Kyle had
changed on the batteries in the snow blower, but it still did not run so I had
to shovel by hand again.
I
was working on a posting for my history site on today, it being 49 years since
the American Psychiatric Association took homosexuality off as a mental
disorder, when Kyle and Adrian came home
with the Terrain. I had to drive it to Discount Tires to replace the worn-out
ones. The appointment was at 10:15 but wasn’t able to get there because of the weather until 10:30
because Kyle and Adrian didn’t even get back to the house until 10. Kyle wanted
me to take Adrian to the gym that is
right behind Discount Tires, so I did.
It
took about an hour to get the tires as the place was really busy, I suppose
with people also changing out their tires. It cost about $750 that I just put
on the VISA card.
I
picked Adrian up and we headed back to the house but he at first, he wanted to
go to the Dollar store and buy a Spanish Christmas card and as the Terrain was
on empty, I stopped at Exxon and put $50 in the tank. Gas prices had dropped to
$3.09.
After
taking Adrian home, I had to go down to Club Verse as that Kyle needed my help building
a raise platform and seating area. I was only there but a half an hour when the
groomers called and said Lulubelle was ready, so I went back to retrieve her
and take her home. Since the pups never got a walk this morning, I took them
for a quick jaunt around the block until heading back to Club Verse.
I
could tell Kyle was stressed out and tired. I helped as much as I could. At one
point we had to go to Lowes and since he was really hungry, we went to Taco
Time on 7th and State but because Kyle was on the phone, he drove up
to the window instead of ordering from the drive through menu which caused a snafu,
and the gal at the window was not happy
with us, and we held up cars behind us. I didn’t say a thing and they even
messed up what he wanted so he was pissed all the way back to the club. At that
point I knew just to keep my mouth shut not to give him a reason to bark at me.
I
stayed until 5:30 when Kyle said I could leave, and it was already quite dark
out, but fed the pups at home and rested some. I was really rather tired but
finished the essay I was writing for the Utah Stonewall site finally, posted it
and then decided to just go to bed. Kyle wants my help tomorrow at 7 in the
morning.
I
had a nice compliment on a post on Andy Dalrymple “Utah Gay Forum” site. Craig
Organ after he posted the latest Q Salt Lake on the site, wrote, “I wish Ben’s
history column still graced these pages. Here’s the latest edition.”
16 December 2022 Friday
The snow storm is over, just plenty of snow
everywhere and it was a clear day, what I saw of it, because I worked 9 hours
down at Club Verse. Kyle Foote wanted me down there to help him, so we were
there by 7:30 and I worked until 4:30. The only break I had was when Kyle sent
me to “Our Kitchen” in North Salt Lake to get him, Micheal Repp, and I some breakfast.
Kyle ordered it over the phone but when I got there his card didn’t go through,
so I ended up paying for it. I ordered Biscuits and Gravy for me which wasn’t
all that good when I finally got to eat something. Mike was dealing with
some work issues with two employees who are fighting, so he never got to eat the
Western Omelet that I ended up paying for. His husband Riley Richter is sick I guess
with the flu or something.
Anyway,
I spent most of the time helping Kyle
with finishing constructing the raised seating area as well as enclosing one of
the bathroom entrances passages. He left later to go do some Loco Burger
business around 3:00 leaving me to do the painting. I was tired but just went
back to work and had it all mostly and completely painted by 4:30 when Kyle
returned. He must have felt a little guilty as he said I could leave to go home
which I did so I could at least walk the pups while it was still daylight out. At
home, I also fed them.
Adrian Villalobos came
up to see me before leaving to go with Kyle to a Christmas Party that his
Subway job was having. We visited a little before Kyle came home to get ready.
I learned that his sister has breast cancer and that is why he works two jobs
so he can send money home to Columbia. He also said he’d like to quit one job
and just go to school to learn English. We communicate through the “Say Hi”
translation app which is pretty cool.
After
they left, I was so achy and tired that I went to bed at 7 but Kyle called me
at 9 and woke me up saying that he was going in to Club Verse at 6 tomorrow morning,
but that I didn’t have to come in that early. I won’t for sure and I doubt whether
he will.
I managed to go back to
sleep then woke up at 11:30 when I got up to take some Tylenol and then went
back to bed. I guess I should not be complaining that at my age I can put in 9
hours of physical labor. I know that Kyle depends on me to be his helper but
all I am is a volunteer but if it helps Kyle financially, he has money to stay
out of jail, which is my main motivation. And that I love him even when he’s
being a shit.
I
had a message from Palak Jayswal that the Tribune will publish her article on
me in Sunday’s print issue.
In
the news everyone is making fun of Trump’s big news which turned out to his
selling trading card of himself in ridiculous images, There’s a sucker born
every minute and most of them wear MAGA hats.
17 December 2022
Saturday
I was up at 5:30 and Kyle Foote left the house
at 6 this morning but I didn’t leave
until 8 as I was so tired from yesterday and I also wanted to walk the pups
this morning before I left. It was really cold this morning and it stayed in
the low 30’s all day.
When
I arrived at Club Verse, Kyle had framed in one of the bathroom entrance but
was visiting with Riley Richter’s parents. So, I waited until he was ready to
use me to help lift and hold particle boards while he ran them through the buzz
saw. We had to do it outside and it was freezing cold.
Soon Mike Repp, Riley
Richter and Lynn Katoa showed up to start getting things ready for the Big
Grand Opening tonight. That is why Kyle was so adamant needing my help to
finish constructing and painting the “observation” stage.
In 1986 I donated $200
for Beauchaine’s Gingerbread House for it to become a community center. It
didn't quite make it. So, the Gay and Lesbian Community Council built the Utah
Stonewall Center, and I scrubbed the oil and grease off tile floors on my hands
and knees for the center’s library.
I’ve always tried to be
useful and now I am volunteering my time to help a community minded night club,
helping with some construction, but 9-hour days like yesterday are harder now than
they were 30 years ago. Nevertheless, I was raised to always be useful in a
good cause. And the folks at Club Verse are good people and you can never go
wrong helping good people.
Club Verse had their official
grand opening tonight, so we were all busy bees. I finished painting the last
bathroom entrance and some of the observation stage. The sound check people
were in around 2:30 and they were amazing but deafening. “Kristine W” and a DJ
named DJ Cox were the “Special guest” performers. Hearing Kristine W do her
sound checks and vocal warm ups reminded me when I did the concert setups in my
late 20s. I set up for concerts featuring Donna Summers, The Beach Boys, Johnny
Mathis and more at the U of U’s Special event Center.
When I was finished
painting, Kyle told me to go scrub the paint off my hands. I thought he wanted
me to help him construct the padded seating for the Observation Seating, but he
was actually surprising me because Palak Jayswal came into the club carrying a
stack of newspapers. They wanted to surprise me with early editions of the
Sunday Tribune so that was why Kyle insisted I clean my hands because pictures
were to be taken of me holding the paper which featured my picture on the Front
Cover in the center under the banner.
The Headline said, “A magnificent struggle”- Historian has lived the fight of
LGBT community. Story by Palak Jayswal Photo by Francisco Kjolseth.” I halfheartedly
said, “Is this my obituary” because I was kind of overwhelmed.
I truly was astonished
how prominent I was featured on the front page, above and below the fold. While
truly grateful for the recognition I was also somewhat embarrassed by the
recognition as I have always put my work ahead of me.
I was in my work
clothes from having worked painting and constructing down at Club Verse when
Palak surprised me with the Sunday Edition. Palak wanted to take some pictures
of me holding the paper and Micheal Repp had Kyle and I go outside where the
Club did a live shot of the three of us with Mike saying some kind things about
me and the exposure of the club probably did not hurt. I was so tired from
painting what Kyle had built and was feeling every 71 of my year when we went outside
for the live shot. So, I looked like I was ready to fall down and looked so
incredible old. Vanity never gets old, just people. But I was really humbled by
the recognition, truly, and I think Kyle was just as proud being associated
with me.
At home I wrote on
Facebook, “If you take the Sunday Salt Lake Tribune you might recognize someone
you know. It took me 50 years living in Utah before making the front cover.”
There was a two page insert which listed a long story of my life with only a
few detail errors, but they also printed an extensive timeline which Kyle said
would vindicate all the work I have done over the years.
However, the day wasn’t
over when I came home at 4. While I was out walking the dogs, I heard what
sounded like running water in the back yard. Coming back to house I discovered
that the outside garden faucet beneath the deck had snapped and was spewing
water. I went down into Kyle’s room and turned the water off to the house and
called Kyle. He said he would fix it when he came home. In the mean while I
used some of the water, I stored for emergency to wash the pup’s dog bowls so I
could feed them. It’s so easy to take water and electricity for granted until
you don’t have them.
When Kyle came home
around 7, we went to Sutherlands, but they were closed so we went to Lowes on
13th South but coming back home Kyle realized he bought the wrong
size cap, so we zoomed to Bountiful where he bought the correct one and in the
freezing cold, he fixed the problem. So, we had water again which Kyle needed
because he had to shower and change and go back to Club Verse where he was
going to be until 2 in the morning. He asked me to keep the pups in my room
until noon tomorrow so he could sleep.
I told him that I would
make the funeral potatoes he wanted to bring to the party at Manny’s tomorrow
as he ran out of time, but I had to go to Lucky’s to buy all the ingredients. I
use his mother’s recipe from the Taylorville Ward cookbook but without the
onions as a concession to Kyle.
It was around 9 before
I could started mixing all the ingredients together and after cleaning up and
putting the casserole dish in the refrigerator, I finally was able to go to bed
after 10 o’clock. I had been up since 5:30 so it was a very long day for this
old man.
Today is Jim Dabakis’
birthday and I sent him a message from me and Taco and the gang wishing him a
good day.
18 December 2022 Sunday
Kyle Foote wanted me to keep the dogs in the
bedroom with me until noon as to keep them from barking and waking him up. So,
I did but it also meant that I had to stay with them, or TJ would have barked to be with me.
At
noon I thought enough was enough, and I let them out and put leashes on them to
go for a walk. As I was going out the front door, I see this Latino kid leaving
Kyle’s front door.
I was pissed for two
reasons, first because I kept the pups in all morning while he was fucking
someone down stairs and secondly because the kid wasn’t Adrian Villalobos who
had gone off to work at 6 this morning.
I don’t know why it
bothered me that Kyle is still tricking when he has Adrian who is so in love
with him. It’s his business not mine but still, I could have not wasted my
morning thinking I was letting Kyle sleep in if I knew he was awake and
fucking. Just another bump in the road in our silly and sad saga.
Around
1 Kyle came up like nothing had happened and asked to go get a Dr. Pepper, but
he was kind of snippy with me so either he was feeling guilty which I doubt, or
he was tired from lack of sleep.
Anyway, he then tells
me that Adrian isn’t feeling well and was leaving early to come home and that
they might not go to the party at Manny’s which also pissed me off from staying
up late last night to make funeral potatoes.
I
decided that the floors in the house were neglected and really dirty from dirt
being tracked in and pee spots, so I got down on my knees to wipe down base
boards and scrub the hallway. I also swept and mopped the front room, dining
room, and kitchen really well. I never saw Adrian today and only Kyle when he
needed something from upstairs.
I
was irritated that he was not communicating with me whether Adrian and he were
going to Manny’s or not, so I could put the casserole in the oven to cook. I
spent enough money on it and Kyle never even thanked me for doing it. Can’t
expect a fish to climb a tree.
I baked the funeral
potatoes anyway because I didn’t care anymore whether they went out or not.
More so I was upset that they had left me out of any communication.
Well,
they did decide to go, and I got cleaned up and dressed to go but then decided
I wasn’t going. I really don’t know that many people there and I would be just
a third wheel to Kyle and Adrian anyway and it wouldn’t matter whether I went
or not. In fact, when I told Kyle I was too tired to go, he never even
pretended to prompt me to go so I know I was only invited in the first place to
be congenial. But I didn’t care and am glad I didn’t go because I am tired from
so much house work which if don’t do it who will?
I
contacted Kimball Edwards anyway and we are going to get together this
Wednesday at 9. May I will even spend the night.
When
Kyle and Adrian came home around 8 this evening, they brought the funeral
potato dish upstairs. Kyle said everyone enjoyed the casserole and I said well
it’s your mother’s recipe. He said there were a lot more people there then he
expected at Manny’s Christmas Party, but I am still glad I just stayed home.
Kyle and Adrian did look so handsome all dressed up.
Kyle also said that
Adrian gave his two weeks’ notice for Subway so he will only have the one job at
Newest that pays better and has more opportunity for over-time pay. I only
spoke briefly with them but gave them both hugs as they went down stairs not
quite wallowing in self-pity but perhaps just feeling a bit left out, but that
is life I suppose when you grow old.
I
had many, many people congratulating me for having made the front page of the
Tribune. That was special to me for sure but as I am an old white “cisgender” male,
I doubt whether the Pride Center will even acknowledge that a Gay person from
our community made the cover of the Salt Lake Tribune.
There’s only two more weeks of 2022
and Christmas is next Sunday. Adrian wants to do something Christmas Eve. Kyle
said that a Pork Loin was Adrian’s family tradition. Right now, I am not
feeling very jolly. I really have a hard time with this time of year.
On Tuesday Kyle has his
court arraignment to show why he should not have his probation revoked for
being delinquent on his restitution. 2023 will be interesting if he will be
still living downstairs. Oh well.
19 December 2022 Monday
Adrian Villalobos is not feeling well and
stayed home in bed all day. Probably really run down from all the rushing
around last week and weekend. Kyle Foote said that Adrian doesn’t have a fever
and tested negative for Covid, but he felt warm to me.
I
walked the pups this morning and then around 11:30 Bill Poore called me. I was
planning on going down to Woodland to see him anyway today. He sounded stronger
over the phone and surprised me by saying he wants to give me a thousand
dollars if I promise not to spend a cent on Kyle. I thanked him but I don’t
think he will remember what he said later, and it doesn’t matter to me.
Anyway, I went to visit
Bill Poore at the convalescent home down on 7th East and 3900 South at 12:30. I
brought him a bowl of Funeral Potatoes that he enjoys so much that was left over from Manny’s party. He was
having his lunch when I arrived, which he didn't like so he was very happy to
have a surprise treat.
I also gave him a copy of the Salt
Tribune which he proudly showed off to the staff. I wonder if he thinks they will
think he should be treated with more respect now...lol... When I told him that
no one from the so-called Pride Center made a comment about me being featured
in the Tribune he was really pissed off. I told him they don’t care because I
don’t fit the new narrative as that I am
just an old “white cisgender Gay man”.
Bill looked better and
we visited for about 2 hours reminiscing about past exploits before I left. Bill must be a little better because he
walked on his own to see me out, the
little bit it was to the exit. However, he is nowhere close to being released
Holidays have to be hard being away from home
and all that you know. I still believe in Christ admonition to visit the sick
and infirm and visit those in prison.
Who knows what the future will bring to any of us as we get old but like
I told Bill we have a lot of good memories to keep us company.
Coming back to Rose
Park I went grocery shopping as that Kyle said that Adrian wanted a Pork Loin
for Christmas eve as that was his family tradition. At Lucky’s surprisingly
they didn’t have a pork loin but had a ham on sale and I also bought a roasted
chicken. I also bought Adrian a pineapple because I know he likes to make juice
out of them. The roasted chicken used to cost around $5 now they are $8. I then
went to Smith’s where I bought a pork Loin for $13, and some cake mixes to make
some Bundt cakes for the neighbors.
I stopped at Common
Cents to get some gas as I was on empty after going to see Bill and I paid
$3.09 a gallon but filled up for under $30 which was the first in a very long
while. I went inside to get a Dr. Pepper and showed the Bryan the manager a
copy of me on the front of the Salt Lake Tribune and bought another copy to
replace the one I gave to Bill. The Sunday paper was $5 and perhaps a 3rd
as thick as in the old days.
I walked the pups when
I came back to the house and laid down for a nap when I got a frantic call from
Kyle saying that his $3600 restitution didn’t go through to the 3rd
District Court in Tooele. His court appearance is tomorrow which kind of pissed
me off that he could be so cavalier about checking that everything was good.
So, he asked me to go
have another cashier check drawn which I did at Lee’s Market’s America First CU
out of my Line of Credit. Kyle later transferred the $3600 from his account
into mine. When I asked when was his time for his appearance tomorrow, he said
he’d have to check. Again, either he’s blocking it out or just being foolish.
How can you not know the time? He asked me to go with him tomorrow, so I know
his anxiety level is super high. He’s caught up with his restitution payments,
so I doubt and hope they want the money more than sending him to jail or
prison.
I looked after Adrian
some and heated up some Chicken Soup and made him some tea for him. I had to
control myself from mothering him too much which is my first instinct.
Around 6 Kyle called
again and asked if I was coming to Club Verse for their employee Christmas
Party as he had forgotten his white elephant gifts and wanted me to bring a
Christmas sweater down. I also needed to go to the Dollar Tree and pick up gift
bags.
Kyle was sent to pick
up the food from Costa Vida as the club was serving a Taco Bar so he wasn’t there when I arrived before 7 so
I could find a decent parking spot on State Street.
Riley Richter was the
only owner there as Mike Repp was sick and so was Lynn Katoa. They probably
caught whatever Riley had. Knock on wood so far, I have escaped being ill with
anything.
I took a video of the
new raised stage that Kyle built, and I had been helping with painting it last
week to post on Facebook. While people started showing up, I felt so out of
place as I knew no one except Johnny Harris who goes by Johnny Disco. I knew
him mostly by reputation. “Why sit alone in your room when you can sit alone in
a cabaret”.
Johnny came over to
visit and was already snockered. We commiserated how all these youngster didn’t
have a clue who we were although Johnny had been bartending since 1989 at
the Radio City. He works 1 night a week
bartending at the Club as a favor to Riley although his new career is in real
estate. I think the last time I had any real interaction with Johnny was at the
May Day Faery gathering years ago in Memory Grove. He said he just turned 52 a
few weeks ago and was feeling really old among all these 30- and 20-year-old. I
said well I have 20 years on you.
Kyle finally showed up
with the Costa Vida Banquet and while he asked me to help Riley set it up there
were others helping who just saw me as an old man in the way, so I went and sat
back down.
One minute I am on the
cover of the Salt Lake Tribune and the next I am at Club Verse where I am a
nobody at an employee Christmas party where I am tagging along.
Kyle was busy acting as a bartender so the
others could visit and eat, and I fixed a dish and ate by myself. I really just
wanted to go home because this was not my scene so at 8:30 I thanked Riley and
told Kyle I was going home as I was tired which wasn’t a lie. I checked in on
Adrian before going to bed.
I had a message from
Palak Jayswal that a former student Westin Porter read the Tribune article and
wanted to reach out to me saying I was a good teacher to him. He is probably in
his 30s now lol. Being an educator, you affect lives for virtually no pay. Palak sent me this also, "He’ll get in
touch! He told me “Please, please just let him know how great of an educator he
was then and how inspiring he continues to be. He was one of the reasons I
decided to become an educator and am one now. Please tell him thank you for all
the work he’s done!”
Today is Roy Zang’s and
Maggie Snyder’s birthday
Looking at memories
posted on Face Book it’s hard to believe that it's been 6 years since a Christmas
pot luck was held by "Gay Men Aloud" a group for neglected older Gay
men that the late Charles Frost and I
started. The group no longer exists but
friendships made from that group have.
Gay Men Aloud was my last hurrah for creating community
organizations. Frost and I had creative
differences for the purpose of the group, but it was fun while it lasted.
Since I came out in 1986 I was either
instrumental in starting or a co-founder of Wasatch Affirmation, The
Restoration Church of Jesus Christ, Salt Lake Affirmation, Unconditional
Support, The Gay and Lesbian Community Council of Utah, Beyond Stonewall, The
Gay and Lesbian Historical Society, The Utah AIDS Quilt Memorial Project, The
Sacred Faeries, The Utah Stonewall Center, The Utah Stonewall Archives, The Pillar Newspaper, The Utah Stonewall
Historical Society for Gay and Lesbian Studies, the Lambda Lore Columns, This
Day In Gay Utah History, Gay Men Aloud, and finally The Utah Queer Historical
Society, mostly while holding down a full time job as an elementary school
teacher.
I kept a record of the start of all
these organizations and many more that I simply attended wanting to be
anxiously engaged in good works like cohosting Concerning Gays and Lesbians,
writing for various Gay publications, and being trotted out as a community
memory keeper whenever someone needed information.
No wonder I am exhausted but
satisfied with my life from all the sterling characters I met along the way;
all who have made Salt Lake City such a Gay place to live. It was a struggle, but we had each other even
if at times we fought like cats and dogs like any family does.
20 December 2022
Tuesday
I drove Kyle Foote out to Tooele so he could
pay his restitution and appear in court. However once there he was not shown to
be on the court docket which seemed weird, so we left. He was told he doesn’t
have a court date until February. But at least his $3600 made him caught up
until the first of the month.
However
back at the house, he was informed by his lawyer that he was scheduled to be in
court, but Kyle was able to do a zoom meeting with the judge and was mainly
just reprimanded for having to fallen behind on his restitution.
I
made a pot of bean soup with the ham broth I cooked up yesterday and I also
made some snickerdoodle cookies from a spice cake mixed. I brought the cookies
to the Gay men’s group at 6:30. The topic was on loneliness and depression, and
it actually was quite an engaging meeting. Bill Blevins said that he sent my
being featured in the Salt Lake Tribune out to all the group members.
I’d
say most of the men there are in various stages of coming out and I am
surprised by the number who said they see a therapist on a regular basis. The
only time I saw a therapist was 11 years ago when I was having a nervous
breakdown over Kyle Foote’s having fraudulently using my credit cards. I guess
I still am in denial because I still can’t use the words “stole from me.”
Adrian
Villalobos stayed home from work today but went into Subway this evening. I
could tell he was feeling much better.
Today is the last of
Fall 2022.
21 December 2022
Wednesday
Winter
officially begins today, and I posted a lot of memes on Facebook about celebrating
Yule.
Kyle was in the kitchen
this morning some ice cream concoction for Loco Burger, and he was stressed and
rather snippy, so I just left him alone and went to take the pups for a walk. I
posted two articles on my history site regarding Kathy Worthington and Cloy
Jenkins who mainly wrote the Payne Papers.
After
Kyle took off, I cleaned up his mess and baked some loaves of Zucchini bread to
give out as Christmas gifts. Bill Poore called and said he was still in the care
facility and probably would remain there during Christmas. I told him that I
would go see him on Christmas day. Adrian has to work that morning and Kyle
won’t be doing anything until Adrian comes home.
Then
I received a call from Jim Dabakis and was surprised that he was back in Salt
Lake and staying at Stephen Jutesen’s condo over the holidays. He wanted to see
how Taco was doing.
Jim said he wasn’t doing anything Christmas
Eve so I invited him over for the dinner that Adrian will prepare. We visited a
bit, and he said around January 6 he is taking off again with some friends to
tour the United States this time. He also admitted that the reason his marriage
failed was that Stephen was back taking drugs.
I heard from Charles Frost years ago that Stephen had a severe drug use
problem.
Today
must have been the day for people to call Jim McMullin called later in the
afternoon to talk about the SL Tribune article and how it came about. I told
him I really did not know the details except that Palak had been down at Club
Verse and must have heard about me through Mike Repp and Kyle.
Anyway,
I invited TJ and him over for Christmas Eve as that Kyle had a while ago asked
me to but held off on it because I didn’t know whether Kyle would be jail or
not. Amazingly Jim said that they might come over as they had no plans. Amazing
because they don’t often leave the house.
When
Adrian came home from his Newest job, he had me help him prepare the pork loin.
I diced up carrots and onions. The onions were our secret because even Adrian
knows about Kyle’s aversion, but they were chopped so small and when cooked he
wouldn’t actually taste them. Well, I know Kyle keeps secrets from Adrian who
made a marinade sauce and stuffed the pork loin with cloves, carrots, onions, and
green olives then poured the marinade over it. He had to run off to his second job,
so I cleaned the kitchen again.
Around
4:30 I was able to walk the pups again and around 5:30 Kyle came back home to
make a variety of fruit toppings, mango, peach, raspberry, blue berry,
pineapple and some more. Kyle had me help only by scraping the pots into his
containers. He also informed me that Adrian’s brother-in-law and his brother
were also coming for Christmas Eve dinner so there will be 9 of us here. So, I probably
have to get another pork loin.
I watched President Zelensky address the joint
session of Congress where there was so much applause, that I thought he’s never
get to speak. I thought also the Republicans were such hypocrites for they had
in their 2014 GOP plank not to support Ukraine and they refused to indict Trump
when he was impeached for interfering with Ukraine. Zelensky’s speech was profound and powerful.
After wards I just watched some episodes of
Archer on TV before retiring.
Kimball
Edwards had texted me that he might be late getting home and as I was already
quite tired, we made a date for tomorrow instead which I was really fine with
because I went to bed around 9 when I would have been just arriving at
Kimball’s apartment.
22 December 2022
Thursday
I went to Walmart early this morning to buy some treats and dog
food as well as another Pork Loin, Chinette platters, another poinsettia that
was on sale all in all with other items spent $100. Came back home and began baking Lemon Bundt
cakes to give to my neighbors when Kyle Foote called and asked me to pick him
up from Manny’s. I had no idea where his vehicles were as he wanted me to drop him back at the Terrain that was
at Sutherlands. I was rather stressed because I had just put one of the Bundt
cakes in the oven when he wanted me to come get him. Fortunately, when I
returned it was done and the timer was going off. Kyle then started to make his
frozen concoction for Manny while I baked the second Bundt cake.
After
he took off again, I finished the cakes and made some Ginger Bread cookies and
then iced the Bundt cakes. So, I did a lot of baking this week as I had made
zucchini bread yesterday and on Tuesday Snickerdoodles.
I
was able to walk the pups twice even though it was extremely cold out and never
even got into the thirties but at least no more than a skiff of snow.
When
I finally laid down to rest Adrian Villalobos came home from Newest and after
Kyle left, he asked me if I would take him down to Fashion Place Mall at about
56th South and State Street. He wanted to buy Kyle a jacket at
Macy’s for Christmas so how could I refuse? At least Adrian is affectionate to
me and appreciative.
Once
there, what a Christmas nightmare with the parking lots filled with last minute
shoppers. (Like us I suppose). Anyway, inching through the parking lot, I
dropped Adrian off at Macy’s and said I’d wait in the car, which I did for
about 15 minutes. I luckily found a parking space not far from the West
entrance. It was just too cold to stay in the car, so I went inside to look
around and wait there. Christmas shoppers filled the store, and most items were
on sale between 20 and 50 per cent off. This was the first time I had been out
to a mall at Christmas time in years, but I only walked around Macy.
Anyway,
Adrian text me his was ready but because of the language barrier he took a
while for him to come to where I was by the west entrance. I was stressed
because he kept say he was waiting and cold, but he was nowhere to be seen and
he said his phone was low on a charge. Well, it turned out he was at the wrong entrance,
and he felt bad but all well that ends well and he was so proud of the winter
jacket he bought Kyle.
It
was 5 by now and traffic was crazy with people getting off work but made it
home without incident and there I fed the pups while Adrian rested. He goes in
at 6 in the morning, so I know he was tired.
I
was too from not getting a nap and was in the lazy boy when Kyle came home, and
they came up stairs so that Adrian could prepare the pork loin in his Columbian
way. They were discussing the logistics of the party in Spanish, and I just was
only half listening while trying to nap. I know Kyle was a little peeved that I
wasn’t more engaged but it’s their party. They decided on using plates instead
of the Chinette I bought, and I thought I know who will end up having to do all
the dishes.
Kyle
was on the phone to Club Verse, and he volunteered me to make a green bean
casserole for their Christmas Party. I said that I was going out to see Bill
Poore sometime that day, but the party isn’t until 4:00 so that shouldn’t be a
problem. I don’t even like green bean casseroles myself.
Anyway,
as they knew I was trying to rest and not interested they went down stairs and
I continued to rest until 8 when I went
and took a shower and got dressed to go see Kimball Edwards at 9. I brought him
a mini loaf of Zucchini bread and a copy of my SL tribune article just to show
him who he is sleeping with.
We
immediately got naked and into bed. I massaged him, kissed him, Cuddled him,
blew him, and just mainly snuggled and petted each other. He loves that I think
more than anything else. Yes, I can miss the wild passion of my younger days,
but it is wonderful to have a youn man caress me and hold me.
We
half fell asleep and I thought about maybe spending the night but once I had to
get up to pee, I knew I should go home. I know Kimball probably wanted me to
spend the night, but I am too insecure to ruin the magic of what we have by my
old man bodily functions, so I left around 11. I honest thought it was much later,
and I was home by 11:30. I stayed up to midnight as I was kind of wired from
driving home.
Kyle
asked me to help him at Club Verse tomorrow at 8 but I might not as there is so
much, I need to do to get the house in shape for Saturday because I know I
won’t get any help with it.
23 December 2022 Friday
I woke up around 4 with mice scurrying through papers
and stuff on my chest of drawers so I got up and cleaned off the top and put
things away. I went back to bed and slept a few more hours.
Today was a very busy
morning since I didn’t get up until 8. Kyle Foote left around 8:30 and Adrian
had been gone since 6 so I was able to work in the house by myself. I first
when into the Guest room, the old Movie Room, and cleaned it up and got rid of
sheets and towels to donate to Deseret Industries.
So, after doing some
other chores I went off to D.I. and bought a slew of Pyrex baking dishes and
small bowls which later turned out to have been a wasted effort. I then went to
Smith’s and bought items to make the green bean casserole and the Zuppa Anglaise
I am making for dessert. I baked the sheet cake early this morning, so I just
need raspberry jam and vanilla pudding. I had whipped cream I had at home that
I had frozen but learned my lesson later in the evening that thawed whipped
cream does not whip so will have to get some tomorrow to finish the dessert.
I did go to the liquor
store where I found some butterscotch schnaps that I bought to sprinkle over
the cake.
Anyway, back at the
house Kyle came home around 1 and wanted me to go to the Loco Burger location in
Manny’s old kitchen on Main and 17th South. I did but I felt it
wasted my time as he and the Loco Burger husband and Wife team were mainly
there to sample the fruity drink concoctions that Kyle made up. I mainly stood
around so not sure why he needed me.
After that he wanted us
to stop at Walmart off of 13th South and I thought another waste of
my time. The place was packed with last minute shoppers. They were out of
shopping carts and the parking lot was mostly filled with impatient drivers.
Anyway, after about 45
minutes Kyle finally took me home and I saw what he bought which was all these dishes,
plates, bowls, glasses, and flatware for the dinner tomorrow because he didn’t
want to use my Hodge podge of dishes.
Adrian was home in
between jobs and wanted me to squeeze 10 oranges over the pork marinade for him,
which I did after they both left.
I spent the evening
baking sour cream potatoes and cooking summer squash up so the oven would be
free tomorrow. The most tiring thing was washing, actually mainly rinsing all
the plates, glasses, and flatware Kyle had bought and finding a place for them.
I was really tired by
the time he came home around 8 put it was all mostly done. We just restacked
everything in the cabinet over the breakfast bar. Kyle has this vision of
stacking some plywood from down stairs over the kitchen table and rearranging
things so we can all sit down together. I was too tired to think about it.
24 December 2022
Saturday
Of course, another busy day cleaning the house
and cooking for Kyle Foote and Adrian Villalobos’ Christmas Eve Party.
This
morning I noticed a car parked in front of the house and saw that Kyle had a
trick over while Adrian was at work at Newest. I guess he has his sexual needs.
Kyle
finally brought up to plywood sheets to place over the table to make it larger
so all 9 people who will be here will be able to sit together.
Of
course, he waited to the last minute to go to the store to get some things and
he called from Smith’s saying that my Visa Card was declined. So, I drove into Woods
Cross and used my debit card to pay for
al he bought. That was $189. He bought a bunch of serving bowls and platters as
well.
I
talked to Chuck Whyte and Mike Romero and told them about the Christmas Party
at Club Verse tomorrow and we are going
to go together.
Anyway,
Adrian had to work until 2:30 and while I cooked and organized this morning and
afternoon for the party. Around 4 Kyle called me into the kitchen frustrated
because he said that neither Adrian or I had taken charge of making sure
everything was ready at the same time. I told him I thought this was Adrian’s
dinner and didn’t want to get in the way but was just there to assist but as usual
Kyle depended on me to make it all right.
So, I warmed up the two
types of Tamales, the cheesy potatoes, quash, and black beans I made yesterday,
as well as some candied Carrots I made this morning, and Kyle also wanted corn. I knew we had too much food with the
two pork loins also, but Kyle insisted on having it all.
I
finished the Zuppa Anglaise this morning by topping it off with Whipped Cream
for dessert, and I had Ginger Bread Cookies, and a Lemon Bundt.
I
was in the kitchen making sure everything was being heated while Adrian and Kyle
set out the plates and classes on the dinner table. Kyle picked up $5 Starbuck
gifts card for the 6 guests coming over and placed them near their sitting
arrangement
Kyle
said I needed to make room in the refrigerator for some beer that Adrian’s brother-in-law
and his brother Luis and Leonardo were bringing so I put all the desserts on
the counter. When Kyle went to cut up the pork loins, he snapped at me for
having put all the desserts out and I retorted back you said to clear the
refrigerated and I did. Then he said I didn’t have to be a “dick about it” and
I was done. He sucked the whole Christmas Spirit out of me with those words.
TJ Otaka and Jim
McMillan were the first to arrive and brought some Christmas Cupcakes, and then
Jim Dabakis came with wine and a Christmas pastry treat of some sort. Michael
Romero came next and then Adrian came bringing back his relatives.
I
was still wounded and did not do another thing to help out but visited a bit
with TJ and Jim. Jim Dabakis was so happy to see Taco as Taco was to see him.
They all “noshed” on a variety of foods I set
out, like celery sticks with cream cheese, green olives, a shrimp plate, and
other goodies but I had no appetite.
When
Kyle called us to go sit, I did but I didn’t eat a thing sitting at the far end
of the table. Only Michael noticed that I didn’t eat a thing and left my plates
empty. I could tell that everyone was having a good time and I didn’t want to
spoil anything, so I just let Kyle be the congenial host and never let on how
much he had hurt me by calling me a dick when I made all this possible for him
and Adrian.
The
Latin guys were from Venezuela and Jim Dabakis ate that up because he love
South America and of course Jim is a great conversationist and makes everyone
feel comfortable. Kyle helped translate the conversations as Adrian and the
other two spoke Spanish.
So,
I didn’t have a bite of the dinner that I made mostly while Kyle had Adrian
take all the credit when all that he actually made was the pork loin. I didn’t
care and I was glad people were fussing over him and his dinner.
I
was super tired and got up from the table to go sit in a chair with the pups
and just listened to the happy banter but did little to be engaging. I know
Kyle must have felt a bit guilty because he came over several times to pat me.
I should just accept the fact that Kyle will wound my heart. I tried later to
hug him, but the hurt was still there.
Everyone
moved into the front room and later I dished up some of the Zuppa Anglaise, but
I know people were full from dinner but I worked so hard on it and wanted people
to have a taste.
There
was lots of conversations and the Latino kind of grouped together which was
understandable not know us or understood English.
At one point I got up
and started doing up the dishes and clearing off the table. I knew that Adrian
and Kyle wouldn’t do it and that seems to be my lot in life to be a “Martha”. Jim D came in to the kitchen at one point to
help out but shooed him out and I went back to join the group, so no one felt
like they had to help clean up.
I
overheard some of the conversations and was glad that TJ and Jim McMillan came
as it was first time in over two years that they had been here. Jim and TJ said
they were going to Portugal next month and as it turned out Jim Dabakis knew
the person who was organizing the excursion.
This was the first
large party I had here in years. It was for Kyle, and he treats me so poorly at
times and criticizes too much over little things. I am not sure why I bother to
please him.
It was nearly 10 when
the dinner party broke up and people began to leave. The Venezuela boys took a
lot of the food home with them including the pastry cake that Jim Dabakis had
brought. I was glad for that. I sent the Lemon Bundt cake and Zucchini Bread
home with Jim and TJ. They like my Zucchini Bread and there are at least two of
them.
Kyle and Adrian took
the Venezuelan guys back to Murray and I finished cleaning up the kitchen and
doing all the dishes up. I knew if I didn’t, they would just sit until I did. I
was finishing up when they returned, and they just went downstairs without
saying good night. Oh Well.
25 December 2022 Sunday
“Every Who down in Who-ville, the tall and the
small, Was singing! Without any presents at all! He HADN'T stopped Christmas
from coming! IT CAME! Somehow or other, it came just the same!” "Christmas
Day Will Always Be Just As Long As We Have 'We.'"
I
was still nursing a wound from yesterday this Christmas morning, and I just
have to love Kyle Foote’s foibles and all. After all he’s the real dick not me.
Adrian
Villalobos had this work this Christmas morning. It kind of peeved me that all
this morning Kyle did come up to put the dishes I washed up into the cabinet nor start to carry he
plywood down from off the kitchen table so I could get my house back in order.
I made up a plate of
food left over from yesterday’s get together along with some Christmas cookies
and zucchini bread to take to Bill Poore so that he could have a nice dinner. I
got there around 11:30 and we visited
for about an hour. I wanted him to know he wasn’t forgotten on Christmas Day. Is
there anything sadder than visiting a convalescent home on Christmas day? As I
walked through the corridor the hallways smelled of urine and despair.
Bill had a check for a
$1000 written out when I got there, and I accepted it because it was a gift to
me. He made me a promise not to spend a
dime of it on Kyle and I said I wouldn’t besides right now I am still pissed at
him. I also took the money because I
think that it actually was a legacy be wanted me to have from his estate. He
said he was not feeling well, which concerned me.
We conversed about
times past, and he said the place had an ice cream social last week that he
went to but seeing all the old people just staring down at their bowls and not
interacting one with another, he thought what am I doing here, so he left. He had
to wheel himself back to his room through that maze of hallways and he said he
was pooped by the time he got back.
It was about 12:30 when
I decided to leave. He ate the Christmas dinner I brought and a couple of the
cookies. I hugged him and wished him Merry
Christmas but driving home I had to keep from being melancholy and just
concentrate on the positives in my life. No one had given me as much as Bill
has over our friendship.
Back at the house
nothing had changed in the kitchen, but I made the French Green Bean casserole
that Kyle told club verse I’d make for their Christmas banquet. I put it on to
bake at 2:15 about the time Roy Zang his husband Tyson Lovel, and Andy
Dalrymple dropped by. I had them come in and we visited and bitched about
everything. It was great.
They knew about the
changes in leadership at the Pride Center that Jim Dabakis mentioned yesterday
that I didn’t know about.
When Mike Romero came
over at 3 to go to Club Verse Roy, Tyson who goes by Tony, and Andy said they
would go to the Christmas banquet also. Adrian came home about the same time,
but we couldn’t visit because we had to rush to pick up Chuck Whyte and I
didn’t want my casserole to get cold. I took my FIT because I thought it would
be easier for Chuck to get in and out of.
So, at the Christmas
dinner at Club Verse there was Chuck Whyte, Mike Romero, Roy Zang, his husband Tony,
Andy Dalrymple, and me. Mike Repp came
over to say hi and he said he still has the remnant of the flue he had all last
week with 102 ever but he Lynn Katoa, and Riley Richter was all present this
time
There was lots of lots
of good food, baked ham mashed potatoes, corn and I brought a bean casserole
that must have been good because when we left it was all gone.
It was a nice time at
Club Verse with old friends and Channel 13 even filmed our table for their 9
o’clock News. Kyle and Adrian came down
around 5:00 and sat off by themselves, which I didn’t care because I was having
a good time with the ones I was sitting with. Mike had a beer and a couple of
shots and was having a good time and I think was getting a bit tipsy. Well
after the rough year he had he deserved to let his hair down and have fun. Chuck was awfully quiet, but I just think it’s
because his mentality is much slower, not that he wasn’t having fun. When I saw
that he had finished his plate I said if you are still hungry go back and get
another plate which he did. There was so much food and I doubt more than 40
people were at Club Verse.
They also had a dessert
table that was filled with goodies, but I hardly finished my plate although
everyone else tried some of the dishes.
Kyle and Adrian left
first having mainly just made an appearance and Roy’s group left shortly after
that because Roy doesn’t like to drive at night after having Lasik surgery a
while back. Once Karaoke started and we
listened to a few of the singer we decided to leave also because I was tired.
It was nearly 6 so we were there for two hours. Tena Marie Scuderi and her
husband showed up around the time we were leaving. She said she saw my posts
and said she had to go down to Verse because of it.
I know people got out
of the house and had a nice Christmas due to me prompting everyone to go to
club verse because I had to go since Kyle had volunteered me to make a
casserole.
It was dark out and the
Christmas lights in the city were lovely to see as I took Chuck home and then
drove back to the house where Mike retrieved Coco and drove home the back way.
Kyle and Adrian
returned shortly after I walked Mike to his truck, and they wanted me to open
the presents they bought me. Kyle got me a Gift Card to Longhorn Steakhouse that
was in a Christmas Card that he wrote “The only gift that matters is time with
the people you love. You have blessed me with an abundance of your time, love,
and support. All I can do is return your
gift in kind. Love Kyle”
After they went down
stairs it was only about 7 but I went to bed but woke up at 8 and decided to
get up watch some television and see if we made the Channel 13 News.
When you get to a
certain age one day, you’re fine and the next something happens to let you know
you’re not a kid anymore. This morning my right-hand fingers froze up on me so
I couldn’t move them like a charley horse in my hand and I had to keep massage
and bending them to get flexibility back and then this evening my left thigh
cramped up, so it was hard to sit without pain... oh well Merry Christmas
BTW if you blinked you
missed seeing me and my friends at Club Verse for their community Christmas
dinner on Channel 13 news.
26 December 2022 Monday
Kyle was so frazzled this morning because he
couldn’t find his wallet. He came up stairs and asked if I had seen it, which I
hadn’t. He also told me the bad news that Adrian Villalobos was let go from
Newest because of some reason that he’s
not a citizen. So, the kid doesn’t have any job because he had just quit Subway. Am sure he will find a new job, but he said
because he liked this one. I gave him $100 in cash to show him that I care
about him.
Kyle
wanted us to go to Smiths in Wood cross in the hopes that maybe his black coat
and wallet as left there. It wasn’t. We were going to go to America First
Credit Union but then realized it’s a federal holiday fs the banks are closed.
As
I was leaving to head out, Kyle came to the car and said his wallet was found
and that Adrian had hung his black coat up beneath another coat.
I
wanted to get a haircut, but the barber shop was closed so instead went to
Lucky’s to get some chicken for the pups and I went and got gas at Common Cents
where the price had dropped to $2.99 a gallon and I was able to fill my take up
for $27, first time since almost a year ago.
Well, I made mom proud by
de-christmasing the house the day after the 25th. Mom was always
over it all by the 26th. Actually, from November 26 to December 26 is plenty of
time to have the decorations up. I am my mother's son. We made make ever thing
happy and Gay then got rid of the shit the day after lol.
No
one came up to help move the plywood off the dining room table so I knew that I
would have to do it myself if I wanted my house back in shape. So, I found spots to put all the serving
dishes away that Kyle bought that I had washed after the party and then took
the plywood off by myself and dragged both sheets towards the end of the deck.
I won’t hold my breath about anyone helping get them downstairs either.
Kyle
at one point after coming home was perturbed that all the Christmas was gone
upstairs saying Christmas isn’t over until January 6th. I said well
just knock yourself out down stairs. I will keep my holiday lights on outside for a while because I like
the color during these dark days. They will probably come down in early January,
however.
I had a nice phone
visit with my older sister when surprisingly she called me. We are the last of
our family and she's a widow living in Arizona, and I am in Utah both far
away in time and distance from where we
were raised in Garden Grove 7 miles from Huntington Beach, 3 miles from
Disneyland and Knotts Berry Farm...
It seems like a dream now that I was an
Orange County youth. I still think of myself as a Californian and never as a
Utahn although in January it will be 50 years since I came to Zion.
Coincidentally too is that her son Kevin still lives with
her who is just 2 weeks younger than Kyle who lives with me. 1979 must have
been a good year for Donna and me.
My father passed away
the day after Christmas 2003. Salt Lake had just been dumped with a huge snow
storm that knocked out power throughout the city and I had nearly a foot of
snow at my house and the airport was shut down.
I heard the news while I was digging
out my driveway. For two days we were
without power, heat or lights and I couldn't get a flight out to California
because of the airport. I had to spend
two really hard cold days just painfully grieving and reflecting that I should be home
Finally, my neighbor
who worked for Jet Blue was able to book me a flight to California. I just
wanted to be home with mom who had lost
her husband of 57 years who she married
at 16.
My father had just gone
out that morning to retrieve the newspaper and when he came back in the house,
he had a stroke and just dropped in the foyer.
He was 78 years old. He died
after calling all his brothers wishing them a Merry Christmas. It was the last time I ever spoke to him.
He died in 2003 by was
buried in 2004 and it all seemed like a blur to me, and I often confused the
year in which he died.
We Williams boys generally like to pass away in
our 70's.
Miss you dad even though we never understood
each other. You did your best to provide
for us and know you loved mom and us the
best you could raise by an unaffectionate father.
27 December 2022
Tuesday
How Southern would I be
if I didn’t make homemade biscuits once in a while even just for me, no gravy
this time just butter and jam. I worked on the computer this morning and didn’t
realize the weather had changed.
It was not a great day
for dog walking. At 10 I started to take them out when it began to drizzle, and they wanted no
part of that. So later at 3 as it had stopped raining and Taco was going
berserk wanting to go out, so we went
in the blustery bone chilling
wind gusts. I had to carry TJ most of the way. The pups were so anxious to get back into a warm
house when we returned. What we do for our critters.
Adrian Villalobos went
on some job interviews, so I drug the two large plywood panels down the back
stairs and put them back beneath the veranda. That was a chore for an old man
but all my life I mostly had to do things on my own so that is why I always
been so grateful to anyone who offered to ever help me.
I drove by the Barber’s,
which I knew probably was closed and went to the post office to mail to envelopes
containing old letters from Grandma Johnson and a copy of my newspaper article
to my nephew James Clark as he wanted a copy.
With that out of the
way I went to Sutherland’s to look at recliners there and to see how to go
about buying one or two. They had some that would suit me fine but not quite
ready to buy until I can get rid of the old double recliner.
I then went to the
Pioneer Road Branch of America First Credit Union to deposit Bill Poore’s
check. I was concerned that he made it out to Ben Williams and not Edgar
Williams which did cause the teller pause but did deposit it for me anyway.
It was raining on me
the whole time while driving about.
I didn’t see Kyle Foote
and Adrian until around 6 when they came up stairs where Adrian ate his KFC
meal and Kyle had a bowl of Tomato Basil Soup. Kyle is trying to get a sponsor
for Adrian so he can work, and Kyle can’t because he’s a felon. So, we are
going to try and see if I can sponsor him, but I have to get some financial
records to prove I have the means to support him. So, I will have to go to
America First tomorrow to see about that and also get another cashier check to
pay restitution to the court.
Palak Jayswal called me
to tell me that she had a call from a lawyer friend of Jackie Biskupski who was
upset that the Tribune didn’t mention their work on Gays being able adopt. Palak
said she was having any of the lawyer’s shit saying the article was about Ben
Williams and not Jackie and asked if they even knew who Ben Williams was? She
basically told them what I usually say to people like that, “I’m not your
personal P.R. person.” Some people get so pissy when they think they aren’t
mentioned enough. I told Palak if they ever took the time to read my Day in Gay
Utah History, they would have seen that I preserved all that adoption stuff
from way back when. Palak went to her editor who agreed with Palak and said to
ignore the lawyer. Palak offhandedly said that its usually white women who
complain the most about what she writes. LOL
I completely forgot
about the Tuesday Men’s Group but earlier I was looking up the staff directory
for the Pride Center since Jim Dabakis and Roy Zang, both told me of a turnover
of the “co-directors” from even this year. Tanya Hawkins is the only remainder
of the original three. A guy named Jonathan Foulk replaced Ben Carr and a gal
named Amanda Darrow replaced the other woman, Jessica Dummar. Ben is still on
the staff just not an executive. Who
knows what happened with Jessica or cares. Her resume said she was at the Pride
Center for 1 year and 1 month and was Co-CEO,
for Legal & Operations from January 2022 to November, 11 months. Ben Carr
started in December 2021. It seems that the shake up came last November at that
is when Amanda Darrow replaced Dummar and Jonathan became an Interim
Co-Director replacing Car
Chris Jensen is Chairperson
of the Board of Directors and Michael Iwasaki is Board Secretary. Never heard
of either of them.
28 December 2022
Wednesday
I contacted Tyler Ferguson by email about
getting a statement of how much money I have in my 401k for Kyle Foote and
Adrian Villalobos, then I went into Bountiful to America First Credit Union to
get a cashier check for $1800 so Kyle could pay his restitution.
Back
at the house I like to cook when it's cold outside so made a kettle of cabbage
and beef soup as well as a dozen and a half homemade meat and cheese
enchiladas. I make my own sauce because the canned ones are too spicy. Adrian
came up to eat some lunch and I learned from Adrian that enchiladas are not a
Venezuela dish, but he ate two. He also had the soup plus Saltine crackers
which were new to him which he really, but he really liked. With his enchiladas
too so welcome to a hybrid of southern and Mexican cooking. Enchiladas are nice
to have around for a quick bite which I don’t want to cook.
Kyle had some left-over
bananas mixture from his Loco Burger concoction and since I am a child of
parents who grew up in the Great Depression, I hate to see food wasted. So, I
made banana bread mini loaves since the oven was already hot from baking the
enchiladas. If you hear I was found dead in the kitchen just know I was doing
what I enjoy.
My great grandparents
were Chuck wagon cooks, my grandparents operated a Cafe, dad worked when young
as a short order cook and I worked my way through college as a cook...genetics
will win out in the end.
I took the pups on a
walk this morning but in the late afternoon I began to feel weak and achy
walking them. I thought please let me get them home before I drop dead on the
sidewalk.
At the house I started
having the chills and aches and I went and got a quilt to put over me in the
lazy boy. I had no appetite except for a
few Saltine Crackers. I finally went to be around 6 and my throat became really
sore making it hard to swallow. I think I must have caught strep. The pups were
all fed before I went to bed feeling all achy and feverish.
29 December 2022
Thursday
I am not a well woman. I felt fine all day
yesterday until late afternoon while walking the pups. I started feeling achy
and thought please let me get home and not drop with all these pups.
I haven’t been sick all
year and been boosted, flu vaccinated but evidently there’s nothing for strep
which I know I have except for antibiotics. . I felt achy, chills, ran a fever
and went to bed at 6 when my throat started hurting making it painful to rest .
the pups stayed with me all night and I did break a small fever because my
night shirt was soaked. Kyle Foote came
up to get his restitution check and I could hardly speak.
The Redwood Urgency Care clinic didn’t open until 9 so I
had some peppermint tea for my throat and a bowl of Cream of Wheat. I needed to
go to the clinic to get antibiotics ...I need antibiotics, so I don’t spread
this crap around. Driving down the weather was good, and I wasn’t too groggy.
It was about 9:20 when
I was taken back, and I must not be dying because the Urgency Cre aide was super cute unless of
course he was an angel and I’m dead. I was swabbed for Strep and was really surprised
when the results came back negative. They decided then to test for covid and
the flu even though I've had all my shots.
Well, when the results
came in the good news was that I don't have strep or the flu. But the bad news was
I have Covid 19. Well, I had dodged that bullet for 3 years so I can't feel
sorry for myself, but I am kind of shocked.
I have to quarantine for
5 days and wear a mask after that for 5 more days. The practitioner said that anyone
I've been around since Christmas eve who have had all their boosters should be
fine. They gave me some experimental
drugs that may work or may not the same that was given to Mike Romero last
summer. I can’t take lisinopril with it. Oh well, nothing lasts forever.
Back at the house I
went back to bed and rested before cleaning up the kitchen and doing the
dishes. I felt like crap, but a dirty house just makes things worse. Also did
several loads of laundry.
For lunch I had a bowl
of the cabbage and beef soup and that was tasty. I talked at length to Mike
Romero who had this last summer, and he didn’t go in util he had trouble
breathing. I think I nipped it in the bud going in so early. I am not congested
and have no problem with my lungs just tired and achy like with a mild flu.
I also talked to Bill
Poore somewhen he called and said that I would not be able to come see him for
a while.
Well, I managed to feed
all the pups their chicken and rice as it’s not their fault that I am feeling
poorly but they didn’t get their walks and Taco is pouting but lying next to me
in bed... pups are good medicine for sure.
Well, this is how 2022
ends with e sick with Covid and quarantined until January 3rd.
30 December 2022 Friday
I had a restless night but not horribly so. I
had much worse nights with bronchitis and with severe strep, although most of
the time that I did wake up during the night was from a swallowing with sore
throat and getting up several times to pee. From all the get-well messages on
Face Book I am amazed at how many people I know had caught the virus making us
sick but at least no incubating any of us or killing us.
So, on my second day of
quarantine, I am actually feeling pretty good. My throat was not sore during
the day, and I have kind of a cough like a tickle more than a deep chest cough.
Last night I broke another fever, but I feel fine today, just a little tired
but not achy and my appetite is better. I had a bowl of oatmeal and Coffee for
breakfast.
I asked Kyle if he
would buy me some milk and cough drops and he did. Mike Romero called me in the
morning to say that his personal loan he applied for was approved and he
transferred the money left owing me into my checking account. Then Kyle called
me from Lowes saying that the Visa Card was declined and when I tried to get
into my account on line I couldn’t. Even paying over the phone using my debit
card was invalid. That worried the hell out of me but after calling America
First evidently the large sum that Michael transferred into my account caused them
to think it suspicious and had shut down my account which after answering a
bunch of questions, they reinstated it. So, it turned out all right just a bit
of a snafu for a while.
I spent most of the day
writing about my friend David Sharpton and when done I posted it in two parts
on my Utah Gay history page. If I can’t leave the house or be around people, I
might as well be productive. It’s been 30 years since he died and re-reading
his last days made me weepy all these years later.
I did leave the house around noon as
that Taco pleaded with me to go for a walk. So, I bundled up, cover my nose and
mouth, and took the pups for a jaunt around the block. Surprisingly, it did not
tire me out at all. I am glad I went when I did as it rained for much of the
rest of the afternoon.
My Flip N Slide Mouse
Trap came today, and I asked Kyle to buy me a 5-gallon bucket that I need to go
with it for it to work. The Mice climb up to get food and then fall in to the
bucket so they can be remove out of the house. I don’t want to kill my mice,
but I don’t want to live with them either. I hope it works.
Bill Poore called me
this afternoon and I explained to him that I wouldn’t be coming to see him for
probably a week or more because of being quarantined. Told him that I had Covid, but he didn’t
understand why I needed to be quarantined so I know he is losing it somewhat.
He thinks he is getting
ready to be released so he can returned home but I can’t imagine why they would
without a lot of health care providers in place for him. I just listen. He said
he already made his brother-in-law Jim Marcus upset with him.
Adrian Villalobos came
up this afternoon and was busy in the kitchen and he checked in on me before
leaving for work at Subway.
When Kyle came home, I
was in the front room watching some television having fed the pups. He stood at
least 15 feet from me, so we visited a bit about his visions for his future as
a consultant. He said he just signed another contract with a restaurant out in
Herriman from contacts he’s made through Club Verse and Loco Burger. He’s
hoping to be financially secure by being a “consultant” to lots of startup
businesses. I guess it’s good to dream.
He also said that once the Loco Burger next to Manny’s is operational then
Adrian will be hired on there to work.
Chuck Whyte called afterwards
and said some of his friends were concerned about him having caught Covid since
he was around me last week. He said he was going in to be tested tomorrow. I
assured him that if he had Covid he’s know it and the doctor said that anyone
who had been completely vaccinated with all their boosters had little chance of
catching it from me last Christmas. But I suppose for his and his friends peace
of mind he should go to his clinic.
I went to bed around 9
when Mike called me saying that he needed to go to the ER down in South Jordan
because his catheter was not working, and he needed to drop Coco off. I asked
if he needed me to drive him, but he said he thought he would be okay. I know I
am quarantined but I would have doubled masked up and stayed far away from
anyone if he needed me, but he said he didn’t.
So, Coco spent the night
with me, and Mike said he’d pick her up in the morning because he had no idea
how late he would be at the ER.
I heard that Barbara
Walters the media reporter and personality died today. She was a fixture on TV for
most of my adult life interviewing celebrities.
31 December 2022
Saturday
I was only up and down a few times last night
mainly getting after TJ who goes crazy whenever Coco comes over. I woke up around 6:30 and fixed some coffee to
start off this last day of 2022.
It’s my third day of
being quarantined and I am sleeping well, my sore throat is basically gone, I
am a little fatigued but have no aches or chills. I am eating back to normal
for me and have just a residue of a little tickle cough.
I have had way worse
bronchitis, influenzas, and strep throats. I’m not 100 percent but am at least
75 percent. I am grateful for my concerned friends, grateful I can still care
for my dogs, grateful for medicine, and grateful not to be so stupid to vote
Republican. I must be feeling better if I
can get my digs in.
I spent much of the day
editing my journal from January 1968 when I was still 16 years old and a junior
in high school. It rained a lot this morning but around 1 it cleared up enough
for me to take the pups for one walk which is better than none.
Jim Dabakis came over
in the late afternoon bearing a box food for me, a roasted chicken, a ham
dinner bowl, a bag of cutie oranges, and some chicken soup. Kyle Foote greeted him,
and I just spoke to him from the top of the stairs. Taco was excited to see him
but disappointed that Jim didn’t take him with him but got over it soon as
truly this is now his real home.
Kyle at one point had
some trouble using the Visa Card again as it was over its limit again so I
transferred $200 into it so he could use it at Club Verse tonight where he has
to be, but Adrian Villalobos will be with him. Adrian and Kyle came up to see
how I was at one point during the day and Adrian scolded me about going out in
the cold with the pups. LOL, I thought that was sweet that he was worried about
me. I think they think I am more frail than I am. Or maybe I am the one who is
delusional.
It must have been the
day for people to call and check in on me. Alan Anderson called, then Jim
McMullin, and then Chuck Whyte. Later in the early evening I called Mike Romero
to see how he was after last night. He had come by earlier around 9 this
morning to retrieve Coco. I guess he was at the ER until 1 in the morning and
the young guys who treated him were pretty rough dealing with the draining of
his catheter bag, so he said he was sore and was going to rest mostly today.
Alan said he and Kyle
Daniels were well but decided not to go to California to see the Utes play in
the Rose Bowl even though they are super fans. Tomorrow is Kyle’s birthday. Jim
said that he and TJ were doing well, and he said that he had caught Covid in
Greece but did not know it until testing positive back in the states. I did not
know that. He said his ailments were mild except for a severe chest cough which
I am so glad has not affected me. TJ has never caught the virus and I hope they
stay well for their trip to Portugal on January 12.
Chuck Whyte said he
went to the health clinic, and he tested negative which I was positive he would
be, but he had to assure his drama queen friends. Learned for the first time
that Chuck has had all, but 4 toes amputated. I always thought he only had a
couple of small toes cut off. But he still is getting around using a cane. I
guess I should not moan about a missing tooth.
I called Mike and he
said he was much better, especially after resting all day. I fixed a plate of enchiladas and black beans
for my supper and settled in after feeding the pups their supper, to watch
several episodes of Archer until finally going to bed at 10.
Some neighbors started
setting bomb like fireworks early like at 8 and continued off and on throughout
the night.
In bed I really
couldn’t sleep and didn’t have any intentions of staying up past midnight, but
I did anyway as bombs burst all around us.
News coming out of the
Vatican is that Pope Benedict who was the first pope in 600 years to resign
died at the age of 95. He was not a good man and was probably forced out.
Well, it’s time for me
to say goodbye to 2022 and say good night. When I wake up, I will say hello 2023 and hope for the
best and abide the worst. For 365 days we will have a little of both ... if we
continue to love and care for one another it will be a happy new year.
I will also have to put
this 2022 journal to bed also.
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