Winter First Quarter Journal 2025 January-March Trump 2nd Regime

 

Journal for the Year 2025

January

1 January 2025 Wednesday

Well here it is another go around the sun. I am 73 years old, will be 74 in April if I make it. I am still residing at 1633 Fernleaf Street in Salt Lake City in the northwest quadrant by the Jordan River.  I am living with only Kyle “Villalobos” as Kyle legally changed his name from Foote, having once been married to Adrian Villalobos, and only two chihuahua pups TJ and Taco. TJ is very old and I wonder how long I will have him. Although it will devastate me when he passes but I can’t bare the thought of him being without me as he’s so devoted to me that I am afraid he will just pine away. I know Taco will adapt whatever his situation is.

                Last year was really tough emotionally and financially and I am no prophet so I don’t know nature’s ways. I am at the point that whatever is, will be que sera, sera.

My sister Donna is all I have left of my immediate family with only 3 cousins left out of 9 I had on the Williams and Johnsons sides. The World War II generation before me are all gone and many of my contemporaries from the Vietnam War era are passing on.

                I am no longer relevant in the what is left of the Gay and Lesbian Community we built in the 70s, 80s, and 90s nor do I feel connected in the least with the so called LGBTQIA+ paradigm. So I have retreated in to my histories and genealogies wondering whether they will even matter to anyone.

                Kyle and I turned the old movie room into two bedrooms and we finished painting the last day of the year and just need to do some minor touches. We did that for Adrian and his mother and invalid brother but that dream was fairy dust fading away.  Adrian will eventually be just someone I used to know but in my heart there will always be a special locked room for  him to stay with me to the end of my days.

                My hope of a renewed America vanished last November when it was clear that a slim majority of Americans had chosen a dark path that will drag the rest of us along. It’s a bitter pill to know that we are now in the middle of the Twenties and people are so apathetic about preserving democracy. Oh well.

                Kyle needed me to follow him over to Lowes after picking up a U-Haul at Papi’s. At Lowes Kyle bought 2X4s and 8 sheet rock boards for the remodel at Bewilder. Well actually I ended up buying them $180 worth of material. I figured that is why he wanted me with him at Lowes.

                I was able to go home after that and get psyched up to scrub and use a sealant on the grout. First I swept and vacuumed and cleaned everything out of the rooms. Then I finally picked away any little paint droplets with a wooden tooth pick. I am good at detail work like that. So when I was satisfied, in the afternoon I began the task of scrubbing the tile grit and applying the sealant on my hands and knees like a char woman.

                I was finished around 4:00, took the pups for their second walk before lying down for a nap. I baked me a sweet potato for my supper and was surprised when Kyle came home as I was expecting I would have to go get him but Luis Negron had taken him home.

                Kyle was happy with the job I did and he went to work putting the handles back on the doors, installing the closet rods, and also installing the mirror closet doors.

                Once all that was done we moved all of the bedroom furniture out of the front room back into what was once Adrian’s bedroom. No time to be nostalgic but it was depressing seeing all the furniture he had painted white and the bed frame he bought  from a happier time. Also we did all this expense and work for him and his mother that he isn’t going to use. Faded dreams. Kyle said that he stayed longer at Milagros last night than he intended and everyone one was there except Luisana Negron, Jesus and Johana  Pereira who may have had to work.  Kyle said Adrian was crying and not sure whether it was over his deceased sister or what he had lost with us. This morning Kyle called a few Catholic Churches to see when a Spanish speaking mass was being held that the Villalobos could attend for their sister.

                Well here it’s the first of the year and the rooms are finished basically and that closes another chapter behind  us.

2 January 2025 Thursday

Kyle had the car all day so I just stayed home and cleaned putting away tools and moving furniture back into place. I should know better than climbing to reach something as the bench flipped flinging me to floor hitting my head but after laying there and figuring out nothing was broken or had a concussion, got up slightly bruised and sore but Taco came and said get your ass off  the floor as it stopped raining and he wanted his morning constitutional so I did what we baby boomers were told to do ...walk it off...so I did. Still a tough old bird I suppose.

                I made some chili verde today and Kyle had a burrito when he came home. This evening I started reading the latest David Rosenfelt book but only a few pages before I fell asleep.

3 January 2025 Friday

I went with Kyle this morning at 7 to buy cooking oil and stop at Lowes so I could have the FIT but I really didn’t need it after all because Mike canceled my haircut because he was up all night with Coco because her large tumor was draining.  So after dropping him off I stopped at Lucky’s to buy Kyle some Life cereal and a few things for me, then I came back home walked the pups and fixed some breakfast. It turned out to be a real mild day in the high 40’s as they say a storm is  coming in tomorrow.

                I brought my card table I bought years ago for game night that I never use any more and one of the ottomans over to Johana’s apartment at the Grove and Gabriel Perchas helped me haul it up the steps. They have no front room furniture or anywhere to sit so I thought this might help out.

                Anyway I then went to D.I. to donate a few things and I went inside to look around. I really didn’t need anything but I did buy a pair of house slippers for 3 bucks as mine are wearing out.

                Kyle was gone all day working at Bewilder with the construction and they were done enough to actually be serving food. Around 1 Kyle called and asked if I would go get Gabriel and bring him down to Papis because Jose needed help with detailing some vehicles down there.  So I did that and on the way back stopped at the library to get some audio books to listen to as I cleaned my bedroom.

                I dragged the snow blower out beneath the deck also because I want to be ready for the storm. When I walked the dogs in the afternoon, I encountered my 80 year old neighbor Jim Benton out walking  and we visited a bit about that I had lowered my flag for Jimmy Carter and he also asked how long I was going to keep my Harris Walz sign up. He was just curious and I said probably until the inauguration. I said I wanted people to know that when things so south don’t blame me. LOL

                Anyway Kyle came home around 6 and needed the FIT to go get groceries for Bewilder and as I was bringing down the large canvas sheet we had spread out when we painted the baseboards and walking down the steps in the dark I misjudged the last step and tumbled and fell again twisting my right ankle. Ouch.  I was able to get up on my own steam to hobble around but my foot throbbed all night. 2nd time I have fallen in 2 days . So if you hear I passed away this year just think the dummy probably fell off something again. .  The new year is turning out as I expected.

                Anyway I went with Kyle to the Chef Store and to Harmons but stayed in the car as he ran inside the stores.  At Bewilder I went inside and saw how the kitchen was reconfigured. Yolanda Perez was doing dishes while Daniel and Catalina were working the line. We didn’t stay long as Kyle was tired from a long day. He asked me if I would work tomorrow evening doing dishes as that Milagros and Yolanda will be at a Spanish Mass for the sister that passed away.  I said I would so it will be Daniel, Catalina and me. Seems strange not to have any of the Villalobos there.

                At home I stayed up until after 11 reading David Rosenfelt’s latest book Dog Days Afternoon. It was a page turner and couldn’t put it down so I read it all start to finish in one day.

4 January 2025 Saturday

It snowed all morning so until it stopped I couldn’t walk Taco and TJ. Its been so warm that by the afternoon most of the sidewalks and streets were clear. I noticed that Victor’s parking lot tree broke and fell on the sidewalk. Good. I was always hitting my head on the low hanging branches that needed trimming when I was walking the pups and not paying attention.

                Kyle took the FIT so I was home all day so didn’t do much at all except look at old New Mexico newspapers on line from the 1890s. Went down  a rabbit hole about one of Mike’s collateral relative name Agapito Abeytia Jr. who was a sheriff of Mora County who was arrested for complicity in the murder of a former  sheriff named John Doherty. It was quite the sensational scandal of the time.

                Kyle came home around 5 to take me to Bewilder to work with Catalina and Daniel. However it was really slow and I didn’t have to do much at all. Both are extremely good workers and it still seems odd to me not to have any of the Villalobos crew there.   Kyle came and retrieved me around 8:30 after the Mass for Adrian’s sister at the Guadalupe Church on 3^rd North.  He said the priest was very charismatic and all but wished he wouldn’t have gone as he ignored Adrian altogether and it was a family thing, except Kyle said that Luisana didn’t attend. I guess she stayed with her new boyfriend.

5 January 2025 Sunday

I took Kyle to work early this morning so he could do his new Sunday brunch. I stayed with him at Bewilder while he showed Milagros and Daniel how he wanted the scrambled eggs done. Luis Negron was down also. Kyle left to go print up the new menu and I stayed and did  dishes until he returned after 11.

                I left him then with the car to go over to Mike Romeros where he buzzed and cut my hair as it was really annoying me. He buzzed me down almost to the scalp but I don’t care just glad not to pay $30 for a haircut. After leaving him I went home and walked the pups and then worked on some of the Romero’s . I was able to find the death dates of his grandmother Mary Moncallo Romero’s father and grandfather through old New Mexico newspapers on line. Mike was tickled about that when I shared it with him.

                I had to go pick up Kyle from Bewilder at 2 and after bringing him home, I only went out again to drop off the book I finished to the library and to Common Cents to get a drink. I was tired from researching on the computer so for the evening I stayed in and watched some shows but nothing memorable.

6 January 2025 Monday

Kyle was home most of the day sick probably with the flu so after he had me go buy some goof off for Papis I had the FIT for most of the day so I did some grocery shopping to make some homemade chicken and noodle soup for him. It was a damp gloomy day and sprinkled some this morning. I heard that starting February 3^rd our trash pickup days are being moved from Fridays to Wednesday for some reason. As long as I have lived here its always been on a Friday.

                Its been 4 years now since the Felon conspired to attack the nation’s capital. January 6 a day of infamy inspired by a Criminal soon to be commander in chief again... we have lost the country I grew up in.

7 January 2025 Tuesday

I slept in until almost 7:30 before getting up to fix some Malt O Meal and coffee for breakfast. Kyle was up around 8 and said he felt worse than yesterday but needed to go get groceries for Bewilder. He was gone until around 10 and then came home and went to bed until the afternoon when he went to the Urgency Care. He was gone about 3 hours and when he came home he came in to my room and I could tell he was really upset. Evidently he had a mild heart attacked. I could tell he was really upset  and probably scared hearing that news. He is going to have to go to a heart specialist up at the U. I think the idea of his mortality has really shaken him up.

                I went to Smiths to get  a prescription for Prilosec for Kyle to use and while there I bought him some Beet Powder gummies that are supposed to be good for his heart. I used my Medicare card. While I was using My Chart I also rescheduled my doctor’s appointment for January 31 at 8:20. I also cancelled Lulubelle’s grooming appointment for the 12^th.

                I am not ready to process this news about Kyle’s heart attack or ready to let it affect me. I am not prepared to lose Kyle but que Sera, Sera. This evening Milagros Negron and Yolanda Perez came to the house I think to retrieve some eye glasses that had come in the mail. Kyle got up to visit with them but I could see on his face he was really tired. He showed them what we had done finishing the two rooms but It also made me sad that they will never be used for the purpose for which they were intended.

                He was kind of weepy so I don’t know whether he let them know why he is “infima”. all I heard was the word Corizon a few times. I never asked what they all talked about.

After they left Kyle asked if I would go with him in the morning to get items for Bewilder.  I went to bed before 9 o’clock and TJ woke me at 11:30.

I once was married on this date in 1977 as a way to regain my full membership in the Mormon Church and an attempt to repent from having "homosexual tendencies" which was the reason I had joined the Mormons 5 years earlier in the first place believing the church could fix me.

I only knew my wife less than a month working at the U of U. I learned to love her but never was in love with her and guilt kept me married for 9 years. The 1970s was a very hard time to try to find a path to fit into what  society expected.

I sometimes look back and feel incredibly sad for that lost boy from back then.

8 January 2025 Wednesday

I am not sure what is wrong with TJ as he was so animated last night and clingy to me, pawing at me and climbing all over me like he couldn’t get comfortable. I know Taco and he didn’t eat their supper last night but Taco slept soundly all night while TJ was up and down.  On top of that my jaw was hurting pretty bad . I think from an infection from my cracked tooth. I called Town Dentistry that I went to last time and have an appointment for tomorrow at 8 in the morning. I also made an appointment to see Dr. Stoneburner for January 31^st as the one scheduled in February was cancelled.

                Kyle was home for much of the day recovering from being so weak.

Elvis Presley would have been 90 today

9 January 2025 Thursday

Today is John Cunningham’s 74^th birthday and President Jimmy Carter’s Presidential funeral. I went to the Town Dental in Bountiful next to Parson’s Bakery this morning for an 8 a.m. appointment.  The pain from the broken tooth finally was sore enough I had to have it removed. Dr. Drake said that the tooth was so infected that the Novocain didn’t numb it, just all around it, so he had to inject directly into the tooth. The pain was so intense i almost cried out but the cracked tooth came out easily. He gave me a prescription for antibiotics and pain pills  that I went to Rose Park Smith to fill at 9. However they were so busy I had to wait a half hour to get them and bloody saliva was dripping from my mouth and I was hurting.

Back at the house I took my pain pill and antibiotic and just went back to bed in misery waiting for the drugs to kick in. I slept for hours and the throbbing went down. My dentist was great. I just had a badly infected tooth but Medicare paid for it all so I guess I can’t kick.

Kyle took the car later to do some major shopping for Bewilder and wasn’t home until the afternoon. I was still a bit groggy when he checked in on me and I told him that I miss Adrian and we talked a bit about him and his mother. Evidently Kyle quite coincidently had been corresponding with this Mexican kid who let it be known he was coming to Utah in a few weeks. Talk about coincidences it was the same kid who Jim Dabakis had asked if we had a space to put him and his cousin up. Jim had been corresponding with me not Kyle so this boy did not know who Kyle was. The gist of it however is that this boy and cousin found an apartment and won’t be needing the bedrooms any more.

That led us to the conversation of perhaps Yolanda and Chuito moving back here as she is not happy where she is being in the same  room with Brayan and Gabriel. I know if Adrian ever came back it would be under different circumstances but I do miss him.

I was also surprised that Kyle made an appointment this Saturday to go to PetSmart in Sandy to look at a pug-chihuahua mix that was taking from a hoarder situation. That shocked me as I had no clue he was considering getting another pup. We will just go down with TJ and Taco to see whether it would be a good fit.

Then later around 5 Kyle asked how I felt and I said a little dizzy but he needed my help going to Lowes to get some plywood sheets and lumber. He took the work truck and I followed in the FIT with TJ along for the ride.  At Lowes we also bought a new shower head for my bathroom as the old one had a hole in the handle that was spraying out water and needed to be replace.

From there we went to Floor and Décor where we bought eight 40 lb bags of mortar that and brought everything back to Bewilder where I helped him unload it all. I didn’t want him carrying it all by himself as he had that mild heart attack last Sunday and was just now getting some of his strength back.  I think that is one of the reason I want Adrian and Yolanda back here so that if I died Kyle wouldn’t be alone or if he did I wouldn’t be. Who knows what the future will be? Que Sera, Sera.

We went back to Papi’s dropped off the work truck and I drove us back home by 7, so it turned out to be an event full day.  Besides the news covering Jimmy Carter’s funeral, I guess Los Angeles is engulfed in a holocaust of flames from hurricane Santa Ana winds burning down whole neighborhoods of 1000s of homes. It’s devastating to see. Thank God Biden is still president because the Felon hates California’s governor.

Also I guess Anita Bryant died. I didn’t know the old homophobe was still alive. I guess she toned down her rhetoric after her husband Greene cheated on her and was just using her.

10 January 2025 Friday

Well Kyle came in the afternoon, stressed that he hadn’t paid rent at Papi’s or his restitution or salaries at Bewilder. He’s been spending all his money on trying to get the Bewilder kitchen up to health code or he would be shut down there.  So we went to America First and I withdrew $1200 so to help pay salaries for Catalina, Daniel, and Maria as I didn’t want them to quit for not getting paid with all these events coming up for Bewilder. He also finally said he’s going to sell the work truck. There’s no use getting stressed about it as we have always gotten by before somehow. If Kyle gets in trouble with the courts, he just does. If he loses Papi’s it is what it is. If everyone loses their employment they will find others.  I am at the end of my days so when it’s time to go it will be okay. I just want to outlive TJ at least.  My petty problems seem insignificant compared to the thousands who have been displaced in Los Angeles.  The year 2025 is living up to expectations.

11 January 2025 Saturday

It snowed lightly for most of the day and as Kyle took the Fit this morning  I just had waffles and bacon for breakfast, walked the pups and typed. I also took a shower with the new shower head I bought. It was so nice,’

Around noon Kyle came back to the house to take his medicine and had me go back with him to Bewilder to help him with remodeling. Milagros and Daniel were working in the kitchen and at one point Luisana came to hang out with her mom. I hadn’t seen her for months but she looked happy. I spent much of my time in the basement clearing racks and sorting the mess down there before Kyle needed me while he cut some plywood to make an alcove to place a rack by the sinks so they could be stacked to dry. 

I wasn’t all that dressed for the weather only wearing sweats but it wasn’t too bad until it was snowing on me outside while I helped assemble the rack.  I was down there for about 5 hours and I saw Yolanda who came to wash dishes before we left to go back to the house where I fed the pups and called it a day.

I finished listening to The Cat who Saw Stars before starting in on The Cat Who Ate Danish. Lillian Jackson Braun wrote so many of the cat series that I will have plenty of reading or listening.

 Pictures of Malibu are just heart wrenching. I don't watch the news any more but just follow what my friends on Face Book posts regarding  what is concerning to them. What they post about the fires devastating Southern California is traumatic enough but I haven't seen any news about the Republican response  to the disaster. I never expected to hear anything but  vindictiveness from the paunchy craven villainous felon.

12 January 2025 Sunday

It snowed last night  so the ground was lightly covered with snow but by the afternoon it had melted from the sidewalk and driveway so I didn’t have to shovel any. Although the pups had to walk on snowy sidewalk this morning. Kyle took the FIT to Bewilder to do the 50 percent off Brunch while I stayed home typed and read until he came back with the car. Then I went out and bought some chicken thighs for the pups and some treats for me before coming back to the house. The short time I was out a small blizzard came in but was gone when Kyle asked me to go with him to MOD’s pizza. I just had a bowl of split pea soup and cornbread for my supper.

                When I went with Kyle I noticed the back of my left leg was really hurting and I was  hobbling. I don’t know what brough that on unless I over did it yesterday going up and down the stairs at Bewilder. The thing about aging, I am finding out, is one day you are perfectly fine and the next your legs go out on you and you can't hobble around without a cane for support. You over do something on the day you feel good and pay for it on the next.

                Earlier in the afternoon, Jesus and Gabriel came over to help carry the couches back up to the living room and of course the sleeper couch was the biggest pain. I decided to just keep it instead of getting lazy boy chairs as it’s not practical now and also if Chuito does return to  the house he can lay on it as well.  Kyle helped haul the sleeper up and I really worried about him over exerting himself as last Sunday he had a mild heart attack.

                I am at the point I really don’t care about this old house. Still there’s so many in California who have lost everything that I am truly most fortunate to have a warm house and a bed to share with my pups. I am grateful to still have a home in which i can deal with my aches and pains of old age.

                I read Lillian Jackson Braun’s the Cat Who Ate Danish Modern completely before going to sleep. It was the second of the series from 1967. I placed on hold the first one that was from 1966.

                About the time I was trying to sleep my right thigh started to cramp up on me like a charley horse. I got up with my walking stick made it to the kitchen to wrap some ice in a cloth to place on my leg to help the muscle relaxed and it helped so I was able to finally go to sleep.

13 January 2025 Monday

Well today took a surprising turn. While I was typing and having breakfast, Kyle came up dressed in his jammies to get a can of soup as he said he had a sick boy downstairs who decided to spend the night. I didn’t think much more of it as Kyle had a nice clean apartment downstairs now that the couches had been brought upstairs. However when I went to walk the pups this morning, I saw Adrian’s car out front and then I knew who had spent the night. I was not sure how to process my feelings after all we had been through. But if it meant he was coming back home with his mom and brother I was hopeful.

                Kyle, before going into Bewilders, came up and confirmed that Adrian was downstairs and not feeling well.     I made some potato soup and typed a lot as I didn’t have the FIT to go anywhere and when I laid down to take a nap, about 3 this afternoon, little Brayan came into my room to give me a hug. I was so surprised so I got up. Milagros and Yolanda had picked up Brayan from school and came to the house to check on Adrian.

                Adrian went to the doctors taking his mom and when they returned they came up to the kitchen and Adrian ate some food his mother made for him and I served her a bowl of potato soup. I gave Adrian a long hug but didn’t bring anything up. The past is the past and Adrian is Adrian. Brayan was with them but wasn’t hungry but he went with me to walk the pups. I think he’s enjoying the snow we had like most little kids do.

                When Kyle came home he finished putting the legs on the sleeper couch and put the mattress back on.  Brayan gave Kyle a big, long hug and I know Kyle is happy having the family back again but I don’t even want to get my hopes up about Adrian and Kyle getting along but for today it’s all good. Supposedly Yolanda will be moving back here tomorrow.

                My legs which had given me such fits yesterday were better today but in the evening I had several bouts of diarrhea so not sure what is going on there. I feel fine just surprised by the sudden attack on my system.

More than physical aches and pains of old age is the feeling of being alone in the world as all those who knew you as a young person are gone and you feel left behind almost abandoned  in an unfamiliar world from the one you once knew. People now see you just as elderly or a relic of a long gone time, and not as the vibrant person you once were. It's  just the way it is I suppose.

14 January 2025 Tuesday

I was home for most of the day while Kyle took the FIT to Bewilder. It was just as well as my stomach had issues.  Brayan was at the house after school and he went with  me to walk the pups. It was a fairly nice day out. Around 6 Adrian came to the house with Yolanda loaded with groceries, nearly $300 worth from Winco so I helped Yolanda put them away while she made some soup for Adrian and Brayan. She left with Brayan around 7:30 and Adrian went down stairs to sleep. Kyle looked beat and went down stairs even earlier. So I guess it is a certainty that Yolanda, Chuito, and Adrian are moving back in. I wonder what is going on in Kyle’s head? Both he and Adrian are so unstable at times.

                Roy Zang announced that he is leaving Facebook to Blue Sky so may be this is the wave of the future.

                The Fires in Southern California are still raging.  This is the last week of President Biden’s presidency. It was good while it lasted.

I was listening to Jefferson Airplane’s “White Rabbit”  and you are definitely a Boomer if this song doesn't flood you with nostalgia for the 1960s.  I was in high school and the 1967’s Summer of Love was in full swing. That June my sister Donna drove her girlfriend Cindy Stevens and my friend Jerry Smith to a "Love-In" up in Irvine Park in Orange County. It was a "Happening" and so groovy. Psychedelic music like Incense and Peppermint, Journey to the Center of Your Mind, and Inagaddadavida will always bring me back to being a 16 year old Southern California boy. It explains a lot about the hippy wannabe I am ... love, peace, and happiness

15 January 2025 Wednesday

Well another expensive day. Kyle hadn’t paid rent on Papi’s again and got a notice that if it was not paid tomorrow he would have to vacate and we would lose everything we have put into the place which is nearly $100,000  or I should say I have put into it so again to the credit union again we went and I had to draw out $3200 which was rent and late fees.  So we are safe for another two weeks but I really think we are close to the end  on that venture if business doesn’t pick up. I have no idea how I am going to pay the taxes on the money he took from my 401 K which will be nearly $12,000.

                I finished reading the Cat Who Can Read Backwards today.

16 January 2025 Thursday

Kyle had me go down to Bewilder to help out Catalina and Johana because of a special group that came in during Lunch and he had to take Yolanda to some immigration class. It was super busy and we made $500 in an hour. I did dishes and helped on the fryer while I was there. At home spent much of the say posting pictures on Andy Dalrymple’s Queer History Site.

Mike Romero came over because he hadn’t been able to get a hold of me on the phone and was checking if I was okay. We figured out that evidently I accidently blocked him while I was blocking spam calls. Oh well. We figured it out.

Had a fright after I went to bed around 11. I heard Chuito moaning in Adrians room and thought maybe he was just missing his mom who was still at work but when he kept it up I went into the room and he had fallen off the bed and into the closet knocking the mirror closet doors on him. I got the doors off of him but I couldn’t lift him so I was yelling for Adrian. He didn’t answer so I went down to Kyles room and yelled for him and I came back up and Adrian came up and shocked to see Chuito down on the floor.   He was able to get him back up in the bed and fortunately he wasn’t really hurt and soon afterwards Yolanda came home from work.

17 January 2025 Friday

At my age I am surprised I can still spend a morning downloading scores of pictures of Utah Gay Activists, stand on my feet for 6 hours slicing up 50 lbs. of onions, helping make 60 homemade pretzels, moving building supplies, and come home to walk  the pups in the dark to keep Taco happy, and of course TJ wanted to be carried. I am grateful I still can be productive  because one day I won't be able too.

The only casualty was my left hand had cramped up so my fingers wouldn't budge. Good thing I still had my right hand to pet the pups before calling it a day.

In 2017 on this day,  I had to take a psych evaluation at the U for my bariatric surgery. It took 3 hours because it was a 500 question test, and 4 sets of evaluation questions...

Then I spent 2 hours with the Psych Doctor. He showed me the results of my testing and everything, believe it or not, was fairly normal except for empathy as he said it was an outlier.... Way extreme ...

Later he said it would indicate that I was a proud Gay man... Ha! Who knew?

I told the doctor when asked  why I put everywhere that I was fearful for the future, it was because of a Donald Trump presidency... and here we go again.

Anyone, with a bit of empathy, is fearful, worried, and anxious over the felons second term and for us empathetic  extremist we are in pain also.

Anyway I was recommended for surgery which my home doctor I have had for 30 years said without it I would probably been dead by now.

                Makes me kind of sad that at my age probably will croak during the felons  second term but may be a relief.

18 January 2025 Saturday

Today was Bewilders 5^th Anniversary and was expected to be super busy. Kyle came home around 2 and said he was staying home for a while so I took the FIT to go grocery shopping at Smith’s. I wanted to get some treats for TJ and some more treats for me.  I also went to the Library where there were three books waiting for me to pick up.

                Back home the upstairs was quiet as I suppose Kyle had Yolanda go in early to help at Bewilder so Chuito was taken over to the apartment to be watched. It felt strange again to have the house so quiet.

                It was damp and breezy while walking the pups today but just a skiff of snow this morning. I mainly relaxed today, typing up the Romeros and posting to Andy Dalrymple’s LGBTQ History Site. I read from The Cat Who Went Under Ground some before going to bed.

                The Felon is having his inauguration held indoors  as he said it will be too cold when in reality he was probably ashamed of how small the crowd size would be.

19 January 2025 Sunday

Kyle had the car all day and Yolanda and Chuito must have spent the night away from the house for I was alone for most of the day. I stayed either in bed reading or typing up the Romeros. I am feeling out of sorts and before going to bed my jaw was throbbing again from another infected tooth. Taco was so affectionate tonight before going to bed more than he ever had been. He flopped into my arms and laid on his back and just wanted to be held and petted.

So ends the term of one of the greatest president's in my life time...Thank you Joe Biden. I dread tomorrow...I have never been so ashamed to be an American.

Today is my dad's 100th birthday born in Portales, New Mexico. He was 26 when I was born which makes me realize how old I really am to have a parent born 100 years ago. He passed away December 26, 2003 in Palmdale, California.

All my kinfolk of his generation have passed away leaving all us baby boomer kids as orphans and now being the elderly generation and quickly becoming memories ourselves

Happy birthday from Junior

Reeling in the years.

20 January 2025 Monday

Martin Luther King Holiday and temperatures really dropped. It was only 17 degrees today. My jaw ached incessantly last night as well as a bit of a sore throat and slight heart palpitations. I felt dizzy for much of the day. Kyle took the FIT all day but I didn’t mind as I either typed or read from another of the cat series.

                Even as cold as it was Taco insisted on his walks but I waited until 1 and carried TJ most of the way snuggled in my jacket. He likes to go on walks with me walking and him being carried.

                Kyle called me this morning saying before leaving for the day he changed the flag out front as the felon and oligarchy said to fly the flag at full mast today so we did ... upside  down ha!...tomorrow we will lower it back down to honor a true American, Jimmy Carter.

                Kyle brought Yolanda’s bed to the house and put it together for her in her room. It’s a full size and just barely fits with a little walking space but it does and now Chuito and Yoland officially have their own space.

                Kyle was down at Bewilder constructing, I guess with Luis, and he’s taking Gabe to Papi’s to help Jose down there. I don’t inquire about anything anymore.

21 January 2025 Tuesday.

I waited for Kyle too come home with the FIT so I could go to Utah First Credit Union and pay $500 on the HELOC. That and going to the grocery story to buy chicken thighs for the pups was the only time I went out besides walking the pups. I am feeling a bit better and my jaw is not so infected. I finished reading the Cat Who played Post Office this evening and I fixed a chicken pot pie for lunch and supper. 

                The Felon in Chief pardoned all the insurrectionists from January 6 and rolled back Biden’s reduction on prescriptions. So his retribution is taking shape on schedule I suppose. Oh well. America is waiting for the price of eggs to come down while the three richest men in America who own more than half of Americans combined smiled behind the Felon in Chief and [F]Elon Musk gave a Nazi salute.

22 January 2025 Wednesday

One day is like the next now. I fix breakfast, write up my journal, work on the Romero research and walk the pups twice. Kyle came up around 10 and asked if I wanted to go with him to get flour and potatoes for Bewilder. I needed to get out of the house, so we took the pups with us and were gone a couple of hours. In the afternoon Kyle took Chuito over to Milagros while Yolanda went into work.

                Kyle was telling me all he was planning on doing remodeling Bewilder. I just listened without comment. I am too tired mentally to care anymore.  On Facebook I even scroll past all the comments about the Felon in Chief and Asperger Elon. What difference does it make anymore?

                I unfollowed Roy Zang for a while, as that he has gone a bit nutty I think due to his illness and Project 2025. He takes offense at everything. Both Mike West and he were posting how they were blocking people from their friends lists who were either the Felon’s supporters or homophobes. I looked at their friends lists and Mike had over 600 people on his list and Roy had over 3,000. Sheesh. I am surprised when I read about how some people are shocked and disgusted that some of the 100s of people in their feeds have right wing  sympathies... I've always kept my friend feeds down to people I actually know or interact regularly like pen pals -- always under 100 usually much smaller. I have just 75 now as I  just preach to the choir lol. I could not care less hearing what Ignorant people have to say...and I don't debate anymore.

23 January 2025 Thursday

I went to the Library and checked out 4 books all from Lillian Jack Braun’s Cat series. Now that I am home a lot without the FIT I need something to do as I don’t want to just watch television.

                The news is too depressing to watch. My only joy right now are TJ and Taco.

24 January 2025 Friday

Kyle had the FIT all day leaving the house at 6:30 this morning and not getting home until after 8 at night. Yolanda and Chuito didn’t come back to the house so must have spent the night at either Milagros or Johanna’s place getting off work late last night.  I was alone all day and it felt kind of weird. How quickly you can get used to other people?  I finished reading David Rosenfelt’s The More the Terrier tonight. The Andy Carpenter series is one of my favorites as well as Stephanie Plum and Agatha Raisin.

                I am trying to avoid the news but so many of my Facebook friends post the worst of the worst that the Felon has enacted

25 January 2025 Saturday

Kyle asked me to go with him this morning while running errands to buy supplies for Bewilder, and to do payroll while at Papis.  Tutu, Gabe, and Luis Jr were down there helping wash the U of U fleet and it was pretty chilly out this morning.  Kyle said that Maria has a new Job at Little America and may be quitting Bewilder due to scheduling. I will miss her put you can’t stop progress as I was once told by a wise boss. Lots of changes going on there anyway.  I am rarely involved with the kitchen operations anymore.

                We were back home by 1 and stayed home for the rest of the day, Kyle going downstairs to rest and I upstairs to make beef stew  which I hadn’t in a very long time. Yolanda had been spending the night after she gets off work at Johana’s as its easier on Chuito not to be carried up and down the stairs as he stays at Johana’s while Yolanda is at work.

                When Adrian comes home he spends much of the time down stairs in Kyle’s room. I don’t pry however Kyle told me about a week ago he doesn’t feel the same way about Adrian he once did.  I don’t wish to know anything about it anymore.

                People are posting on Facebook about where to find cheaper eggs. Most places have gone to between $5 and $7 for a dozen!

                I walked the pups twice in the cold but at least no snow to walk through. I carry TJ most of the way anyhow.

                Somewhere Valdimir is smiling because half the Senate and J D put the most vile and incompetent man in charge  of America's defenses. Republicans are determined to turn America into a fascist nation.

First cases of Covid announced in United States five years ago today. 1.1 million Americans died, with 900,000 on Trumps watch who said it would pass by Easter 2020.  Now he wants RFK Jr to head up our national health institutes. Yeah keep watching Fox News ya idiots and electing Republicans who don’t give a fuck about you.

26 January 2025 Sunday

In the morning when the house is quiet, I get up in my nightshirt, shuffle down the hall in my house slippers to make coffee. TJ always follows me as he has to be with me. This morning I thought some day I may be a ghost shuffling down the hallway when everyone is a sleep while my ashes are in the back yard with my pups.

 

I  took Kyle to work so I could have the FIT to go to the store to get some groceries and chicken for the pups. Eggs were $5.50 a dozen. I better buy more coffee while I can as I heard Dementia Donald is putting a 25 percent tariff on Columbian exports because Columbia refused to take the Hispanics that ICE is rounding up. He's a petulant petty despot but too late  for MAGA morons to have buyer’s remorse.

                I saw that Club Verse is now a Latin club called Eleven. I wonder how much of the construction we did still exists.

Nine years ago I had to say goodbye to a sweet little soul whose only desire was to be loved by me and he loved me back. No amount of time can erase the memory of a good dog.

 I always said that I was the Lucky one when that pooch came into my life. He was a lover and always wanted to be near me. I still  recall the joy we shared. I use to sing to him You are my Lucky Star....he used to give me little kisses.

 If you have ever loved a dog you know how I felt losing him and a few weeks later I was devastated with Daisy having a stroke and dying.  But then came Harleigh, Maxx, TJ, Farley, Lulubelle, Buster, and Taco to heal my heart and then break it again to mend again with sweet memories.

The only explanation I  can reason for what Demented Tramp is doing since seizing the oligarchy is his hatred of America and Americans, not just Progressives but all Americans even the MAGA morons.  He hates progressives because he sees them as the enemy and he hates the MAGA morons because they were weak and  weren't able to overthrow President Biden in 2021.

                He seized power again only by the schemes of the nefarious billionaire oligarchy and sycophants who did his bidding but you know he hates them too as this sociopathic monster believes he is above everyone as he is answerable to no one, even a God.  And sadly he has the power, by spineless Republicans, to destroy our 250 year old American experiment.

The LA Times reported" "The United States is ground zero for the H5N1 bird flu. Since March 2024, when the virus was first reported in a Texas dairy herd, the virus has killed one person, sickened scores more, contaminated the nation’s food supply, felled dozens of house pets, infected more than 900 dairy herds across 16 states, and caused the deaths of millions of wild animals and commercially raised chickens, ducks and turkeys.

So how President Trump and his administration will deal with this widespread, potentially deadly virus, which scientists say is just a mutation or two away from becoming a full-blown human pandemic, is a question many health officials and infectious disease experts are now asking.

And so far — say the few who will go on the record about their concerns — things are not looking promising.

On Monday, Trump issued an executive order that will remove the U.S. from the World Health Organization — a 76-year old international agency created, in part, to share data and information about global pandemics."

Covid 19 will seem like a walk in the park when the Bird Flu becomes epidemic. By the way that is why eggs are $7 a dozen here. I hope being upset over the price of eggs under President Biden was worth it.

27 January 2025 Monday

I don't knowingly allow Republicans in my Facebook friend’s list so I don't know how to get a straight answer to How has the election of that con man  benefited your life? I wonder if they can even answer that question without lying. All he’s done so far is have the federal government declare they will only recognize two sexes, nominate the most unfit sycophants to his cabinet, declare that the Gulf of Mexico should be renamed Gulf of America and has ordered ICE agents to go after undocumented immigrants.

So that I am clear on this,  MAGA magot Republicans wants to demonize  even kill the Latinos crossing  into lands that were once theirs until white Americans went to war to steal it in order to further expand Slavery because Mexico had outlawed slavery? 

MAGA Mormons should reconsider their own refugee history when they fled illegally into Mexican Territory which they occupied only after killing  off the original inhabitants.

 No wonder Republicans are so against teaching anything but MAGA revisionist history.

Republicans thrive on fear of the poorly educated and on those they themselves have economically repressed.

The supposedly wealthiest country in the world and its Billionaires could easily accommodate those seeking a new life for their families and  themselves. 

What low paying and strenuous jobs are these folks taking from real "Americans"? farm work, domestics, kitchen workers, hospitality, meat packing and slaughter houses. 

Give me a break...white supremacy is behind anti-immigration rhetoric and is the driving force of the Republican party.

Oh and how much are you paying for eggs now MAGA lovers?

28 January 2025 Tuesday

I went to the Genealogical library for the first time in years. I found out that Mike Romero’s great grandmother Libradita Romero was born in Penasco and baptized at the mission San Lorenzo de Pecuris but I need to go to the library because on line they didn’t have the actually records. So I had Kyle drop me off at 9:30 when he went off to Bewilder and stayed until 2  when he came to get me to take me back home. I found her actually birth date as well as her baptismal date none of which her family knew. So I felt like I accomplished something.

                The library was changing again since I last was there with them moving the microfilm stacks down to the basement and the main flow just seemed to be computers and people to help.  I just minded my on business and looked up mostly information on the Pecuris Pueblo valley where Libradita’s people were from for generations.

                I was too tired to do much else. I feed the pups from the roasted chicken I baked yesterday for their supper.

                Trump ordered a freeze on all federal spending halting payments for critical programs for the poor. Not only is the price of eggs $7  a dozen  now, I won't be able to sign up for meals on wheels... hope those sociopathic Republicans are happy now

Utah State legislators says they are  shocked as 25 percent of the Utah’s budget comes from the feds. ... what a Republican dumb asses...

Utah, always against working folks like killing Joe Hill was not enough,  they now want to keep public employees from collective bargaining.

H.B. 267, a.k.a Public Sector Labor Union Amendments, "prohibits a public employer from recognizing a labor organization as a bargaining agent for public employees," among other provisions, including prohibiting public employers from entering into collective bargaining contracts, forbids public money from being used in any sort of union organizing or deterring, and excludes labor organization employees from receiving state retirement benefits.

29 January 2025 Wednesday

I cancelled my appoint this Friday with Dr. Stoneburner as I feel okay and Kyle scheduled a meeting with all the gang at Bewilder to go over changes he is making there. When I get bored I bake... banana apple sauce spice bundt cake... if I had to follow a recipe I  wouldn't bake... I would think by 55 years I should have it down by now... nothing fancy just larapin good as my Aunt Pauline used to say.

                Well it’s the Year of the Snake which certainly explains why snakes are in control of the government.

This evening a plane crashed into the Potomac in Washington carrying mainly young people  attending a skating competition.  It collided with an army helicopter killing everyone. What a tragedy.

30 January 2025 Thursday

Kyle had the FIT all day so just stayed home. I was here by myself for much of the day. You can take the boy out of Texas but you can't take the Texas out of the boy. Biscuits and gravy sounded good for supper this wintry eve so I made them.

Honoring Marianne Faithful by listening to the sounds of the mid Sixties; no psychedelic stuff just soft Simon and Garfunkel, Kinks, Lulu, mamas & papas, Peter & Gordon, Dusty Springfield, Chad & Jeremy and of course Herman Hermits’ There’s a Kind of a Hush. I am glad I lived on the same time line as Marianne Faithful

Commenting on the tragedy of the plane crash in Washington DC,   Transportation Secretary Sean Duffy said, "“I would just say that everyone who flies in American skies expects that we fly safely . That when you depart an airport, you get to your destination. That didn’t happen last night and I know that President Trump, his administration, the FAA, the DOT, we will not rest until we have answers for the families and for the flying public. You should be assured that when you fly, you’re safe.”

Yeah right as the President Psychopath plays golf and allows his sociopathic sycophants to slash and cut budgets and privatized public safety. Elon Musk pushed out the head of the FAA just days before the crash and blamed the Biden Administration and  Trump is blaming Biden and DEI for the crash.

I miss a President who would try to console America in a time of tragedy instead of deflecting blame from himself... President Biden only saw Americans while this sociopath only sees people he can use and everyone else as the enemy. He never has or ever will see Americans

31 January 2025 Friday

It was a busy morning as I went with Kyle so I could have the car for a bit. We left the house at 7:15, rushed to Smith’s to get donuts, then to Starbucks to get coffee and then to Bewilder. Kyle is having the crew come in to go over new procedures and the new dress code for the kitchen. After dropping him off, I went to Deli Donuts down on 27^th to get the guys at Papi’s some donuts. I bought a half dozen for $8 and boy was it busy there. The parking lot was packed and people were waiting outside in the cold because the counter entry was packed. Lots of folks buying donuts for their offices, I suppose.

                After dropping coffee and donuts off for Jose and Luis, I went grocery shopping at Lucky’s for groceries, then to Smith’s which had a bargain on meats  so I bought more and some of my 2 liter generic Soda Pop and also my griller treats for TJ.  I then returned my books to the Library and picked up one I had reserved so that was basically my day.

                After taking them for a walk I was basically done until I had to go back to Bewilder to pick up Kyle and Yolanda then off to North Star to pick up Brayan as on Friday school is out by 12:30.  After taking them to Johana’s Kyle took me home and off he went again.  I didn’t see him until after 7 at night.

                At the house I finally changed and washed my flannel bed sheets  as well as mopped the bedroom floor. Nice to have a cleaner room. 

                I made some Asian fried rice for my lunch and had some more for my supper. It was pretty tasty. I saw Adrian for a bit as today is his day off.  I feel like Adrian and me are not as close as we once were. Its just a feeling I get but I am still happy he is home here.

                I tried reading some but mostly worked on the computer and reflected on how the country is going down the crapper.  Trump’s cabinet nominees are being grilled by Senate Democrats especially the heroin addict Robert Kennedy Jr  who Caroline Kennedy posted a scathing comment on her cousin being deranged.

                There’s more news about the Airplane collision in DC and another plane crashed in Philadelphia tonight.

                Well it’s the end of another January, one of my least favorite months. The big change is that Adrian moved back home with his mother Yolanda and his brother Chuito into the two room Kyle and I created for them.

                The second Fascist regime took power again with Elon Musk behind the throne trying to remake America a feudal state for billionaires.  Oh well.

                Tomorrow is the first of the month which I always dread due to all of the rents Kyle has to pay besides his $1800 a month restitution. He has to pay $2300 in rent for Papis and has a weekly payroll of $3200 as well as around $600 he pays weekly for Bewilder.  He’s been spending so much money remodeling the kitchen at Bewilder that I wonder how it all will work out.  I guess it will one way or another. I know he is coming home exhausted and dread the thought of him having a heart attack leaving me behind.

FEBRUARY

1 February 2025 Saturday

Merry Imbolc, St. Brigid Day, Candlemas for my Pagan friends. The days of the 1st and 2nd are the cross quarter days between Winter and Spring which has been mostly identified as Ground Hogs Day celebrated on the 2nd. It's a time to light candles, clean the hearth, and acknowledge the coming of Spring.  Merry Meet and Merry Part until we Merry Meet again

It was a wet misty day but no snow. I put on some lima beans and baked some corn bread but never got around to eating any of the beans just some cornbread.

Around 10:30 Kyle came up and asked if I wanted to go with him while he ran errands. He had been up super early around 6:30 to meet the electrician down at Bewilder and had bought supplies for the kitchen before coming home. I said I would go with him to get out of the house

I went with him to Wells Fargo down on 19^th South and 3^rd  so he could do payroll. At Papi’s he paid the crew there before heading to Bewilder. There were 4 people working this morning, Daniel, Catalina, Johanna, and Milagros. The crew was mainly doing prep work making pretzels, red cabbage, and chicken schnitzel.  Kyle was there working on rearranging where the fries, jalapeno bites, and pickle fries go as he is getting rid of two of the three refrigerated units. He had me take all the metal pans and lids down to the basement because he said they weren’t using them anymore.  Lots of changes there.

I could see they were all busy so I swept, took out the garbage and did up the dishes but it was difficult knowing where the plates go now since everything has been shuffled around.

                We were there until around 2 before heading home. Kyle was not feeling well. Stayed home for the rest of the day but did talk to Mike Romero some to see how he is doing. He likes his knew medical plan better and especially his new urologist and he doesn’t have to have a catheter bag any more strapped to his leg. I said I would go with him to Wendover this week so he could get his marijuana gummies.                 Other than that it was a quiet evening and I read mostly from the Cat Who Knew a Cardinal.

The news is dark and dismal. The Mobster at Mar a Lago imposed 25 percent tariffs on Canada and Mexico because he’s a petty ass and Felon Muskrat has access now to all our social security data. Canada’s NDP MP Charlie Angus attacked U.S. President Trump, calling him a “convicted felon and known predator” and accused him of using tariffs to “break us as a people.” He also labels Elon Musk an “oligarch” whose “hate algorithms” threaten Canada.

You know damn well that all those undecided voters interviewed last Fall who said they were leaning towards Trump because of inflation, the economy, the price of eggs and illegal immigration were too embarrassed to admit they were actually racists and homo-trans phobic... DEI is nothing more than the right wing code words for blacks, sexual minorities, and the disabled and immigration was just a diversion because how was it actually affecting them? You can see that it was never about the economy

2 February 2025 Sunday

Another stay home day as Kyle had the FIT all day after bring Yolanda and Chuito back home. I putz around the house some, walked the pups, typed and did some research on the Romeros and before going to bed I think I did a break through on Mike Romero’s great grandmother’s line of  Romero’s whose line seemed to be stopped at a man name Juan Domingo Romero. All the researchers I have seen couldn’t get pass him born circa 1748. However by circumventing him and going after the known children of Mike’s Patrilineal line I was able to find them in the same tiny village of Trampas, New Mexico at the same time of Juan Domingo which convinces me that he was the son of Felipe Romero and Casilda Maestas.

                I have no life except it does keep my brain working. Dad loved his jigsaw puzzles and I love my genealogy jigsaw puzzles.

                Yolanda slept for much of the day so she must have been tired and I finished reading the Cat Who Knew a Cardinal. I have the Cat Who knew Shakespeare to read next. I was a little tired so I watched about 3 episodes of Abbott Elementary tonight to unwind.

                Kyle came home around 6 and Adrian was in and out a lot after his work shift. Kyle said he was there doing the drain plumbing for the dishwasher he bought for Bewilder.

                I asked him to take me to the genealogy library tomorrow so I can look up church records on the Romeros.

                TJ wanted to go for a ride badly today but as Kyle didn’t get home until it was getting dark I had to disappoint him. It was supposed to have been almost 50 today but because of the wind and dampness it didn’t feel warm at all.

                The Con admitted that the Tariffs were going to hurt the middle class  but said they were worth it in the long run. He fired all the FBI agents who were part of the investigation of the January 6 insurrection. Felon Muskrat to many is becoming known as the unofficial and unelected co-president.

 me3 February 2025 Monday

I had Kyle take down me to the genealogy library this morning from 9 to noon. Three hours are plenty when I used to think nothing of spending 8 or more hours. Unusually warm today at 67 degrees. Sounds like the ground hog was wrong for Northern Utah at least.

                While Kyle was home resting I went to the library and picked up 3 books I had ordered and took the pups for a ride. TJ really wanted to go. I went to Lucky’s to get some groceries and that was about my main excursion for the day.

                I retreated from the weary world to 18^th Century New Mexico as a form of escape I suppose.  Later started reading The Cat Who knew Shakespeare.

Did Felon Muskrat have to take the Citizenship test when he became a citizen as he certainly doesn't understand the Constitution and has violated his oath to support it..   This African has no loyalty to the United States and do any Billionaire?

4 February 2025 Tuesday

Another day the same as the last one. Only time I ventured out was after Kyle came home and I went to take the pups for a ride, returned some library books and get some gas for the FIT. I woke from a nap at 3 to see that Brayan was over for a bit and he came and gave me a hug.  Adrian took his brother over to Johana’s  and took Yolanda to work so I guess I won’t be seeing them around the house for a few days.

                Kyle said he’s looking for someone to work a graveyard shift at Bewilder doing all the prep work of making pretzels, cutting French fries, breading chicken and making pickle fries and jalapeno bites. Well I guess we will see how that goes.

                I finished The Cat That Knew Shakespeare and started a new one.  I think I am getting cabin fever as my days since so routine and uneventful.

This is the 39^th anniversary of my coming out.  I officially came out of the closet on February 4th 1986.  My long life has been divided into two parts, being ashamed and unashamed, shackled and liberated.   Sometimes I forget that I have now lived longer as a Gay man then a closeted one living in fear of losing the love of family, the respect of friends, and accruing the wrath of God.  However once I realized that whatever God might be didn't care if I was Gay only that I was a good person  then everything thing fell into place after unpacking the baggage I had carried for so long. 

Hopefully I have done some good in my long life that some will think of me fondly after I am gone and my essence returns to the universe from whence it came.

5 February 2025 Wednesday

Michael Romero didn’t want to go to Wendover today so we will probably go Friday at 10. Kyle had the FIT all day working at Bewilder as Johana called in sick and Kyle had to remain down there until after 5 making pretzels and such.

                I decided to check my America First Account finally as it was after the first of the month and I was shocked to find that I had $100 withdrawn at an ATM machine on 5^th South and 600 East on my statement and I never even left the house today! I was 45 minutes on the phone reporting it and I am having to cancel my debit card and make a new pin number that I used Kyle’s birth year... I have no idea how they could have  accessed my account without my card or pin.

                I think I have cabin fever or am mildly depressed. I need to do some serious unfollowing from some of political posts for my mental health. I am nearly 74 years old. I am not going to be attending rallies, marches or protests at my age. I have spent a life time as a progressive, as having been a history and political science major and minor. but unless I hear that Trump has had a heart attack, Musk has been arrested, and the high tech cabal  has been destroyed, my puny views won't matter much.

I am not getting off Facebook entirely so I can keep in touch  with friends  as no one writes or calls anymore;  for good or bad it's how we know how we are doing in this 2025 survival mode.  I hear there was a protest rally of hundreds at the state capitol as well as in other states. Then some asshole Republican from Salem is introducing a bill to end voting by mail, to curb fraud. He is just stoking fear as in a state where 80 percent are Republicans there is no fraud except within the state legislature itself.

While scrolling Facebook today came across a woman here in Rose Park who needed to rehome a small dog.

“ I know this is a long shot, but I need to rehome my dog due to my baby being highly allergic. This is really hard for me but it's for my baby's health. She is a dachshund Yorkie mix, she's 7 years old female unspayed, potty trained. Good with small kids, older kids, adults, she is good with other dogs but during heat she isn't. Her personality is loving, clingy, energetic, at time shy, funny and of course cute because of her short legs.  She enjoys walks, vanilla ice cream, pup cups, lots of petting, she loves stuffs animals but will tear them apart. Enjoys chicken hearts and chicken gizzards. She dislikes fireworks and loud bangs.”

I forwarded the message to Kyle and he contacted the lady saying we are interested. I am slightly torn about getting another dog at my age and who knows the future but I guess I should live in the present and this cute pup needs a home.  We are meeting the lady tomorrow.

Nine years ago on this day in 2016, I adopted Harleigh after Lucky had passed. I had the old boy from 2016 until 2023 who passed 2 months after Buddy did in 2023.

Knowing how sad I was over losing Lucky, Levon,  the Gay Armenian refugee I had taken in as Charles Frost had requested, told me he had gone on line and found an old Schnauzer up for adoption. Coincidently  Garth Chamberlain called me about friends of his who were fostering a terrier that needed a home who lived out by me.

So I agreed to go look at the dog at Jon Michael’s house and it turned out they were fostering the very same schnauzer I had seen on line! I couldn't believe it. They were friends of the woman who runs the adoption agency.

 I talked to the woman but she said a lot of people were inquiring about the old dog but as it turned out all the inquiries were from people who knew me and were inquiring for me.

I wanted to take care of a dog that needed a good home and who could love me since Lucky was no longer here to give me kisses so I agreed to adopt him.

So this is how I  honored the memory of Lucky, by giving another old dog a home. Within a few days, Daisy had a stroke and died so Buddy after losing his sister was not left alone.

Sometimes I believe I have a guardian angel just knocking himself out looking after me and trying to make me happy. Perhaps this new  old girl will be a way to honor the pups I lost last November. 

I have to pick out a knew name however if we take her as her name is Emma. I am thinking of Heidi, Annie, Sadie, or Biscuit as new names for a new life. Bill Poore isn’t around to name her like he did with Lucky, Harleigh, and TJ.

6 February 2025 Thursday

We adopted a new pup today or rather gave her a new home as the owner needed to rehome her.  This woman Marlen Sanchez had posted on Facebook that she need to rehome her pup as her baby was allergic to her.   Kyle made an appointment to meet her at the park on Miami around the corner, so we walked over there with Taco and TJ to see how  they would get along. They seemed to be okay although the girl pup was a bit aggressive with the new comers but not much and I could tell Kyle fell in love with her right of way and we were able to bring her home immediately. The little girl however rightfully so was anxious about what was going on.

                I had to leave right away to go to America First to get a new debit card and while there I saw that my credit card was not in my wallet! I wonder if I lost it somewhere but I really don’t remember the last time I used it so  I had a new credit card issued also which means eventually I will have to change all my on line accounts. Ugh!

                Back at the house I wanted to change the pups name from Emma and I asked Kyle what he thought about some of the names I came up with and he suggested Lucy for Lucille Ball due to the pups reddish coat So Lucy will be her new name.

                Adrian was a pill in the kitchen today. He didn’t turn the burner off completely on the stove and when I began to smell gas I discovered what he did and turned the stove  off and ventilated the house. Later when he went off to the gym he left a pan of boiling water in which he was cooking a can of condensed milk which I had to see about after all the water had boiled out. Sheesh. It’s a good think I am home these days.

                I stayed in the front room with the pups and tried to calm the new one down who was very anxious jumping up and down a lot. I think she has already really attached herself to Kyle and kept looking for him when he went off to work.

                So today I have a new pup on the day I brought Harleigh home to live with me. Lucy will probably out live me but hopefully Kyle and Adrian and Yolanda will be able to care for her when I am gone. We need to get her spaded. She already had a litter the lady said and I can tell her tits are still rather protrusive. We also need to get her chipped and probably all her shots caught up but since we didn’t pay for her it will be about the same as if we paid $200 as an adoption fee somewhere.

                So that was the news of the day. I am back to three pups, TJ, Taco, and Lucy also known as Lucia.

                Unseasonally temperatures in the 50’s. Adrian and Kyle went out to dinner at Lone Star this evening because Adrian felt like having a sweet potato. Three months ago they were at each other’s throats and now they are back to sleeping together and taking care of each other. Kyle was helping Adrian on the phone trying to refinance his car even.

                I had a hard time getting to sleep as Lucy was up and down and anxious going from the front room to the bedroom and could not settle down.   Then I started worrying about finances again, Taxes coming up on the money taken from the IRA and how to pay for all that and owing still on the HELOC.  I keep saying just live in the present but that has never been my style not to worry about the future. I’ve always had financial issues but somehow I am still here.

                Persephone down stairs is certainly queen of her domain. I had Billie the Cat for 17 years from 1987 to 2004 . He crawled through my basement apartment window as a hungry kitten and he claimed me when I needed someone to love me and share my life, he went with me from the Juel Apartment to the Buckingham, to LaFrance, to the Riviera, to finally Fernleaf Street where he spent his last days. Old Billie Cat was a good companion in my activist days. 

7 February 2025 Friday

I had a restless night with the wind blowing all night and Lucy up and down going back and forth between rooms, I finally gave up and got up around 5:30 and started my day. I went and boarded up the only way Lucy could leave the back yard if she went out and took them for a early morning walk before leaving this morning.

At 10 Mike Romero came over to  pick me up so I could go with him to Wendover. We first went to Lee‘s market because Mike wanted some apple fritters and then we were off.  It was very windy with 55 miles an hour wind warnings and we hit rain around the point of the mountain but it was just windy for much of the rest of the way there and back. In Wendover however it was sunny, cloudless and the wind had ceased.

                I didn’t go in with Mike this time but stayed in the truck with Coco while he went inside to get his gummies. The parking lot was much more  filled then the last time I was there and Mike said they were super busy inside but the place was fully staffed so he was in and out in no time. We just chit-chatted while traveling. I was really tired and it’s about a 3 and half hour drive round trip. I didn’t say anything about Kyle’s Volvo being repossessed and we are down to just my Honda FIT or anything else really. Why burden him with my worries when there’s nothing he could do about it?

                Anyway when I came home around 2 no one was home but Lucy and the other pups were good. It had rained and it was dark and gloomy here in Salt Lake so I am sure they mainly slept.  I took them for another walk around 3 after the kids from Northwest Middle School were gone.  She’s a good walker

                I laid down in the front room cuddled with all the pups until Kyle came home. Adrian was in and out all day shopping so I didn’t see him much. We don’t have the long intimate visits we used to have. Maybe we will again someday. It was quiet in the house again with just me home most of the afternoon.

                Kyle came home only to shower and change after he said he got the dish washing area which used to be the old office completed.  He later then left to go back down there.  It seems that Bewilder has all his focus these days and not Papi’s . I don’t ask.

                I finished reading the Cat Who Went Bananas and it was a completely different story this time  that no one was actually murdered but the deaths in the story were mainly natural but only a suggestion of perhaps some unsolved crimes. It was really good but more of a character study and if you hadn’t read all the previous books it would not have been as interesting as the murder mysteries. I liked it, however.  

                I needed some mindless entertainment so I watched episodes of Abbott Elementary, Georgie and Mandy, a spin off of Young Sheldon, and movie called HERE with Tom Hanks in it about the families that lived in a house through several generations.   I thought it pretty entertaining but other critics said it was wasteful as it had no real plot. They used de-aging technology to make Tom Hanks and Robin Wright appear as young people, even teenagers.

8 February 2025 Saturday

I had Kyle drop me off at the Genealogy library this morning after I first went and bought treats for the pups. It snowed in the afternoon. Bill Romero died 10 years ago today and I doubt whether Mike even remembered.

9 February 2025 Sunday

I am so tired of life right now that looked up which pills would be the most effective at overdosing.  I am so sick of Kyle and Adrian’s drama. I woke up this morning hearing Adran scraping ice off his car  which was weird to hear so I got up and saw that he left the front door wide open and Lucy open the gate and ran outside. I yelled at Adrian to go get her as she was heading down the side walk and I was in my night shirt and slippers. He hesitated, which made me really more upset that she would run away but he finally went and brought her back. Kyle got up at that time to see what was going on and I said I wanted the garage cleared so he can park inside and he was pissed and said if he did he would move out! I said I am so sick up you two being so unreasonable. It’s still my house fuck it.  I have been so worried about taxes I owe and now this.

                I don’t know what to do. I want to die but not messy and will little fuss and muss. Or sell the house and move far away.

My atoms were formed in stars and have existed for billions of years and eventually they will become building blocks for something new....Life is but a dream

10 February 2025 Monday

Well I didn’t kill myself but Had been depressed all day. Only thing that kept me around was taking care of the pups. When Kyle came home from working all day at Bewilder as that Milagros had called in sick, he came up to sit and visit. I was already in bed. He told me he met the cousins who were going to come and stay here because of Jim Dabakis. I didn’t care. I just didn’t care anymore.

I took the FIT this morning to Utah First and paid $400 towards the HELOC that was overdue. My account number is 848120.

                After Kyle took the FIT I stayed home the rest of the day

As soon as I was able to register to vote in 1970 (the age to vote was just lowered from 21 to 18) I registered as a Democrat. It was the party of FDR, JFK, and LBJ. It was the party that supported unions, the middle class, and civil rights.

I never had to apologize but once for my vote because I voted Republican.  I was a Mormon at the time and was heavily influenced to vote for Robert Hansen for Attorney General against Democrat Gil Athay as Athay supported the ERA amendment and opposed the death penalty.

 I had just returned to Utah in Oct 1976 and elections were in Nov. I was trying to be a good Mormon as I had recently been expelled from BYU and disfellowshipped on a "morals rap".

So Hanson was elected and he pushed through the execution of Gary Gilmore which brought back the death penalty in Jan. 1977which had been suspended since 1974 by the Supreme Court. Voting has consequences.

If that wasn't bad enough Hansen was later  tried by the " Utah State Bar Association on charges of professional misconduct for tampering with a witness and mingling a client's funds with his personal and professional accounts. While the Bar recommended Hansen's license to practice law be suspended for one year, the Utah Supreme Court ruled in 1977 in favor of censure, a lesser penalty." Hansen had stolen funds from a widow. He was a crook.

Lesson learned, Republicans are deceitful, especially religious ones...

So my one and only vote for a Republican was when I was only 25 and I was a member of a cult who even when I was at BYU was counseled by church leaders to support Richard Nixon and not criticize him during Watergate.

For the next 50 years I never ever again voted Republican the party of crooks and liars.

I did vote for Jimmy Carter and Scott Mathesen a Democrat for governor in 1976 so I wasn't completely insane although in Jan 1977 I married a woman to regain my Mormon membership... but that's another story.

Yesterday, 9 February 1964 I saw the Beatles for the first time. My folks rarely watched the Ed Sullivan Show but Barry Wendell a friend of mine called me and said to watch because of all the screaming girls .. it was my introduction and America to the Beatles music immediately changed with the British Invasion

11 February 2025 Tuesday

Kyle had the FIT all day from 8 this morning until 8 at night so it was another stay at home day.  It was cold today in the 20s with some light snow flurries but  not enough to keep the pups home. Yolanda left with  Chito this afternoon after Gabe came and got them. I guess she is working 5 days a week now at Bewilder.

                When Kyle came home I was already in bed however he came up to visit some and let me know what is going on with him. I guess he’s going to be renting the tire machine we bought last summer for $1000 a month starting in March. That should help with relieving the pressure of the $2300 a month rent at Papi’s.  He also said that he hired Jose’s roommate to work at Bewilder during a graveyard shift to do all the prep work at night to relieve the kitchen congestion during the day. I guess Maria Hernandez only works 10 hours a week now in the mornings as she found a job at Little America.   Kyle said all the material is in for doing the ceiling that the Health Department wants done but he and Luis will have to go in and do it after 10 at night this week.

12 February 2025 Wednesday

Today is Fran’s 80^th birthday where ever she is. In Provo still I imagine. Kyle was gone until noon so I roasted pork in the crock pot and just typed. My cavity started to really hurt so I called Town Dental  in Bountiful and was told that my United Health only covered cleanings and nothing else. A tooth extraction would cost around $350 now. So I went on line and added Dental to my plan which will be another $55 a month but won’t be effective until March. Ugh. So I finally used my blood pressure monitor and it registered 195 so I know going to Roseman is no longer an option but I started back taking my blood pressure medicine again.

                When Kyle came home to nap because he will be going into Bewilder tonight to start the installation of a drop ceiling,  I took the car and went to Deseret Industries just to buy Lucy some stuff toys. I only buy ones with cloth eyes and not buttons so she doesn’t choak if she tears them up. Her and TJ seem to be playing together now but onery Taco just doesn’t want to be bothered.

                I didn’t see Adrian until after 8 when he came home from being out with his friends. The lid to the crock pot fell on to the floor when I picked up the handle and a screw fell out. Adrian and Kyle came up hearing the crash to see if I was okay. Ha!

                People are amazed that Google Map has started labeling the Gulf of Mexico the Gulf of America to please the Felon in the White House. Its just a distraction by the White House to take the focus off his making a deal with Russia to end the war in Ukraine by having Putin keep the land he has stolen.  Oh Well.

This morning my blood pressure was at 167, still high but coming down at least. It felt really cold today and we did have light snow showers all day. I walked the pups early at 8 and then when Kyle was getting ready to leave I had him take me down to the Genealogy library where I researched Baptism records of New Mexico until 1 when I came home.  All that research made me really weary so I gave typing a rest.

                I don’t follow the news much and won’t until there is a revolt against Elon Musk trying to take over the United States. I didn’t even follow Robert F. Kennedy Jr. being confirmed as Secretary of Health and Human Services. I guess the Republicans will survive on thoughts and prayers. I am really surprised that my Facebook pages haven't blown up with the news that RFK Jr was confirmed. I guess the Gulf of America was too much of a distraction. Another  reason why I am justified in my disdain for all Republicans especially Utah's two Utah County assholes.

14 February 2025 Friday

I was woke up near midnight with Adrian slamming doors as I guess we was going with Kyle to work at Bewilder on the drop ceiling. So it was after 1 in the morning that I fell back to sleep and had strange dreams about some Venezuelan young people coming to the house and later even going to  the Restaurant Depot to shop. Strange. I was finally woken again around 6 when Lucy and TJ got into a tussle and I had to separate them and I think TJ had a mild stroke so I held him and stroked him to get him to  calm down.

                I made a meat loaf this afternoon and went to the store for a few groceries after Kyle had come home to rest. He went out again at 10:30 to work on putting up the false ceiling at Bewilder.

15 February 2025 Saturday

I had a phone call from Rich Butler this evening which was a surprise. He had read a post on Facebook where I had said that no one ever calls any more or writes letters.   We talked for a good two hours just visiting about his feelings of loss over Miley’s death and chit chat about his family. Only thing that surprised me was that he said his blood work came back that he has Leukemia that he probably got from using weed killer.

I had a poster in my dorm room at Cal State Fullerton once upon a time in the fall of 1971of Richard Nixon and Spiro Agnew as bikers like from Easy Rider...i was political even back then and anti-Republican ... we had been radicalized by the  Kent State Massacre, the invasion of Cambodia, and Reagan being Governor of California... I even had a minor in political science but  by 1972 however  I did a 180 degree turn and became a Mormon... as I had a broken heart. it was either that or become a Jesus Freak...which eventually brought me to Utah in 1973.  I was a liberal Mormon at BYU even a Young Democrat though i was yelled at setting at my table,  while not popular, you could still be a Democrat without being considered an apostate...

Calvin Rampton and Scott Mathesons were Democratic  Governors when I first moved to Utah even and we still even had old time Mormons around who voted for FDR's New Deal.

When Reagan Republicanism co-opted Mormonism in the 1980s, i knew I was better off being an Apostate Queer  then a Mormon right wing stooge.

Dan Fahndrich took a picture of me at Pride Day 1988. It is one of my very favorite pictures of me in my heyday when I was so involved creating organizations like Unconditional Support, Beyond Stonewall, Gay and Lesbian Community Council of Utah, Utah AIDS Quilt, as well as being involved with cohosting Concerning Gays and Lesbians, and helping with Pride Day.

 I did all this without having a car and living in a small 1 bedroom apartment cooking for all my friends and worrying about catching AIDS like so many of my friends ended up dying from.  Back then I didn't think I would live to see 40 let alone 74.

 I was anxiously involved in good causes back then and building a Gay  life in Salt Lake City.  I was too busy to have a boyfriend just my Billy Cat.

 I love this picture because it shows my old Japanese parasol, my U.S. sign I made and my Circle K Big Gulp that I never left home without one. 

At night I would record in my journal all the events and gossip of the day.

Forty Years can go by fast.  I never made any money but I think I made my corner of the world a bit better by freeing the captives and binding the broken hearted which was my spiritual purpose after abandoning Mormonism.

16 February 2025 Sunday

Kind of a quiet and rainy day. I went with Kyle at 10:30 to go get some flour for Bewilder and I saw the drop ceiling he had done all this week after hours. He didn’t get home until 5:30 this morning from working all night.

                We are two months behind on payments for the work truck over $700. Kyle still hasn’t listed it for sell and I wonder if it will be repossessed before being sold.

                I am kind of getting used to not having access to my car when Kyle takes it for running around for Bewilder and Papis. Sometimes I feel cooped up when actually I probably wouldn’t go anywhere any way. When I don’t have a car after Fran and I separated in 1986 at least I lived downtown and across the street from my work. I had a ten speed bike to get around and I walked everywhere but way out here in north Salt Lake on 17^th North and Redwood Road there is no easy public transportation to use instead of a car.

                Once upon a time I had only three pooches, Daisy, Lucky, and Buddy.  Lucky and Daisy died in February 2016 within weeks of each other... I was devastated.

9 years ago my Daisy passed away. She was such a funny girl ... when I couldn't find her she'd usually be in the bath tub...I think she like the cool porcelain on her belly... She also liked a good scrubbing of her under carriage... One of a kind...

 She loved to touch my face ever since she was a puppy. She did it for the last time when we were snuggling in bed saying our goodbyes and letting her know what a good dog she was... And she was...

She got me through a lot of difficult times over the 10 years I had her when I thought the only thing keeping me going was that my pups needed me...

You never forget a good dog

 I thought I'd foster some pups to help out Buddy cope losing his sister and I ended up adopting, Harleigh, Maxx, TJ, Farley, Lulubelle, Buster... I was such a foster failure... Taco came to me courtesy of Jim Dabakis' wander lust and Lucy needed a new home so we rescued her after Maxx and Lulubelle passed.

Poor Farley died within a few months after I adopted him but he knew he was loved at the end.  Buddy passed 3 years ago and a month later so did Harleigh   Both Harleigh and Buddy had to be helped up and down the back steps into the yard  they got so feeble.

Before Daisy and Buddy who were litter mates, I had first  Oscar and  Priscilla in 1996, Saffy in 1997, and her brother  Smokey in 1998 here at the House of the Barking Dogs.

There's only one day that pups don’t bring joy and that's their last.

17 February 2025 Monday

It’s President Day and it’s a insult to all past Presidents to have that loathsome creature in the White House again.

On this President's Day, hundreds of Utahns gathered for the second time in two weeks outside the state capitol building as part of a nationwide movement. Americans across the country took part in so-called "No Kings Day" demonstrations. A man pepper sprayed protesters at the rally in Salt Lake the police said.

18 February 2025 Tuesday

I had Kyle take me to the genealogy library where I stayed from 10:00 until about 2 looking up information on the Romeros of the Trampas area of New Mexico. I need to wrap this up and move on. I saw that a person named Madison Thomas Washington posted on Andy Dalrymple’s history site “Mostly a lurker here but I have been collecting the Metadata for The Connell O'Donovan LGBT Utah History Collection the first batch with over 2,000 documents/ images is live and available for the public to view.  I have tried my best to figure out who's who, and where. If you see anything I missed you can message me and I can make updates.

collections.lib.utah.edu.   I scanned through a lot of it and saw that he posted a paper where he listed his issues with me. Ha! “1. Sending Michael Aaron a notice for the April Oratory without telling me. 2. Deciding that Craig Miller is not to give an Oratory. 3. Ben created a FB post saying that I was signing up Pride Parade marchers, when we decided to create an event instead so that people could sign up that way. 4. Paying Rich Kane for March and getting money for April without telling me.”  Such a petty ego fragile man. Always has been always will be I suppose.

                A Delta plane flipped over unto its back in Canada and miraculously everyone survived. The Musk/Twump Presidency is still firing FCC rather than sharing their wealth... yeah they give a fuck about America. Bird Flu, TB, and Measles popping up everywhere.

19 February 2025 Wednesday

I don’t write much in my journal any more as I am at the point of my life I have very little to write about Not having the use of a car has hindered me more than I realize and has taken away the illusion of freedom to come and go as I please. The only time I went anywhere was to follow Kyle to Papi to return the work truck that if Kyle doesn’t sell it soon will be repossessed as he hasn’t made a payment on it for 2 months and I am not going to. That was a Colossal waste of my money over the years

                I heard from him that Maria Hernandez isn’t really working full time for Kyle anymore but has a more secure job doing housekeeping service on a graveyard shift at Little America. She still comes in to do the French fries but that is all. He’s hired Jose’s girl roommate to work a graveyard shift doing all the other prep work. The kitchen has changed so much that I wouldn’t know where anything is anymore.

                Yolanda left this afternoon to spend the rest of the week at Johana’s so Chuito can be looked after while she is at work.

                I finished reading the Cat Who Had 60 whiskers and felt like it was incomplete but it was Lilian Jackson Braun’s last book in the series. She was working on another when she died and was never published. I think it would have tied up some of the issues she didn’t resolve in this book. Her last books in the series all seemed to be running out of steam without any real conclusions. They were more about exploring the characters she created for her imaginary town of Pick Axe.  Still I enjoyed them, all that I read.

20 February 2025 Thursday

It snowed lightly all day and the pups and I had to walk while it snowed as it never let up. It wasn’t a heavy snow just constant. Kyle took the FIT early this morning and didn’t come home until after dark so I was home all day. I wanted to go to the library and the store but it was too late and still snowing  this evening.

Well the Musk/Twumpf presidency has been in charge for a month now with 5 plane crashes, the Gulf of Mexico rebranded, the Social Security admin invaded by teenagers, Measles on the rise,  TB and Bird Flu also without any words from CDC, Ukraine blamed for starting the war, they want to turn the Gaza Strip into a Riviera, pissed off Canada and Mexico, took over the Kennedy Center and closed the JFK library, fired 1000's of government employees including those who deal with our nuclear arsenal, our national parks, the FCC, and the FBI.  Banned Trans from the military and any support of Gay issues. And Still the price of eggs is around $8 a dozen.

Oh and remember the Supreme Court gave Twumpf immunity to be a criminal while in office.

Welcome to neo Christianist-Amerika, since a vast number of MAGA creatures couldn't stand to have a black woman be President of the Billionaire's playground. 

I hope they enjoy living through the collapse of America and seeing the dream of a Democratic Republic of "government of the people by the people for the people" perish from the earth by the billionaire party which co-opted Lincoln.

Oh well. It was nice while it lasted.

Hmm There's a set of DVDs Capitalizing on our doom. It’s the Capitalist way. I wonder if I can get Netflix to stream it? or Alexis to  play it for me. Oh wait. I have canceled Netflix.

21 February 2025 Friday

Kyle called me this afternoon to say he would be at Bewilder all day as that Johana quit this morning and then later he asked for me to come work this evening because Milagros quit also both mad at Kyle. I didn’t even ask why but Kyle said that Johana got mad when she asked for more hours and Kyle told her she wasn’t always dependable and Milagros wrote me on Facebook Messager that Kyle had yelled at her and didn’t like the way he was treating her. Fortunately Yolanda didn’t quit but wanted to come in to work to do dishes but Kyle had to go get her. Kyle said Daniel and Jose were working tonight with him so at least the shift was covered.  Well that’s that. I truly think the gals didn’t like all the changes in the kitchen and the shifting hours. I really don’t know what goes on down there anymore.  I think Johana and Milagros were good workers when they worked but they didn’t hesitate to not come in or come in late. I think relying on it being a family thing.  I remember when in 2023 when Milagros got mad at Kyle and she and Luisana refused to go in to work even though we just spent thousands of dollars to bring the entire family up from El Paso and I gave them shelter in the large bedroom. Kyle and I alone had to go in and work a really busy shift even when I had begged them to come in to help us.  That is one of the reasons I always like Maria the best as she was more loyal and grateful for all we did for her. Now she’s gone also but didn’t leave Kyle in the lurch. So who knows how this will affect Papi’s as well, as that Saturday is when Milagros family basically all goes in to clean the University fleet.

                I just can’t worry about it anymore. It is out of my hands. I wonder how this will affect Adrian and Yolanda living here. It’s always something and I am so tired of dealing with any of it.

22 February 2025 Saturday

Kyle had the FIT all day but early in the morning before walking the pups I took my books back and dropped them off at the Library bin and then to Lucky’s to get some chicken for the pups and some coffee filters as I knew I would be stuck at home the rest of the day. It was a nice warm day for February and I walked pups for a rare treat of three times.

                I worked on the Romero line and about finished with old Juan Domingo Romero  research and am ready to move on.  I did spend a few hours in the evening going through my photos posted on Facebook in order to save those relevant to post on the history sites.

                I went to bed at 10 and was a sleep when Kyle came home and came into my room, turned the light on to visit. I had actually fallen completely to sleep. He wanted to tell me about what is going on at Bewilder. He hired two new girls to replace Milagros and Johana and he stayed all day to train them. Yolanda showed up for work with Milagros taking her. I guess Milagros apologized for quitting but I don’t think Kyle has any intention of hiring her back. It is probably just as well although it seems like an era is over.  I guess everyone showed up at Papi’s to wash the fleet so that is a good thing.

                Well time will tell, and Adrian’s family is in a much better spot because of what Kyle and I did for them. I know I will never get paid back for the thousands spent to bring Yolanda, Chuito, and the boys from Columbia last September.

My world seems to have shrunk a great deal.

23 February 2025 Sunday

I walked the pups early because I anticipated going with Kyle so I could have the car today but as he was going to have to do a lot of shopping this morning and I would have had to be with him perhaps until noon, I decided just to stay home and let him have the FIT.  Rich Butler’s birthday is today. I think he officially turned 70. We had a long, long visit on the phone over an hour and a half about a week ago.

                I was home again all day, fixing malt O meal for breakfast, walking the pups, typing, cleaning the kitchen. I was surprised that Yolanda and Chuito never came home today so not sure what is up with that.

                Kyle came home around 7 so I took the car to go get doggie treats as I am almost out and it seemed weird going out at night but that is my life now.

                When I came home and back to bed Kyle came up to visit and the biggest news is that on Wednesday he is flying to Atlanta Wednesday morning and won’t be back until Friday night to meet with these Chinese guys who want him to be a distributor of restaurant equipment. I don’t understand any of it and I guess I don’t have to but I guess it will be mostly on line and out of Papi’s. We talked about how different things are now at Bewilder, more professional and less of the family operation it once was. None of Adrian’s family except Yolanda still works there and not sure how much longer she will as unless the family is willing to take her and pick her up at night she has no way to get to work.

                However I think Kyle feels kind of what I do that they are all established now and should be able to stand on their own. I spent around $10,000 over the past two years getting Adrian’s family here so I guess it’s time for them to stand on their own. If I dropped dead tomorrow they would have to anyway. 

                The antics of Adrian last November and December really changed the dynamics of us being a family. Which is kind of sad. Oh well. Life goes on with you or without you.  Kyle went in at 11 to greet the new gal who will be working a graveyard shift doing prep work at Bewilder. He’s going in at 6 tomorrow with Luis Negron to do some remodeling in the dish washing area.

24 February 2025 Monday

It was a pleasant day the little I was outside. Again I spent much of the day alone and I am not even quarantine. Yolanda was not here again and Adrian said she went to the doctors for a checkup but Kyle said she is depressed.  Milagro I think is trying to get Kyle to rehire her but I know he won’t as she brought so much drama to the work place and besides he has hired all new people to replace Johana and Milagros who both had quit and were not fired so there’s that.  Kyle was down at Bewilder all morning doing some construction making the food pass through larger and a pass through for dirty dishes.  The whole kitchen operation has been remodeled and changed since he took it over in September 2023.

                He came home around 4:30 and asked me to go with him to Chubby’s although I wasn’t hungry as I had just fixed myself a hamburger around 3 but I needed to get out of the house. We both ordered a cheese enchilada plate but I mainly took my home.

I am getting bombarded with unsolicited pro Elon Muskrat content on Facebook but am  deleting and blocking as fast as I can. Musk must be buying up trolls to post to counter the negative messages about him.

How much clearer can it be to Republicans and MAGODYTES that Twumpf is a Russian operative and assets? His administration has  refused to back UN resolution condemning Russia's invasion of Ukraine. Only Russian and the U.S. voted against the resolution.

                The singer Roberta Flack died at the age of 88. She was the sound of my days in college, especially The First Time I ever saw your Face and Where is the Love. Reminds me of sunny days at Cal State Fullerton.

                It will be March by this weekend. The times they are a changing.

25 February 2025 Tuesday

Kyle asked me to go with him to Restaurant Depot and the Chef Store just to look where supplies are in case I have to get things for bewilder while he’s gone. Then we went to the kitchen to organize stuff for the banquet this Thursday while he’s gone. I stayed until about 1:30 then took the Fit home to rest and take a nap.  I noticed I am a lot more tired the little I do down there anymore. The Mexican kid Sal who was at one time thinking about renting a room was at Bewilder doing some menu planning work for Kyle, not sure what. Kyle asked if I knew a Doug “Foreman” didn’t have a clue until he said he’s a French teacher and I said you mean Doug Wortham. I guess Doug has been helping Sal with perhaps with a teaching job in Spanish.

                At home Yolanda was here cooking up a storm I guess for Adrian’s lunches and dinner for the week. She didn’t bring Chuito was she went into work this evening at Bewilder.  Kyle asked for me to take Adrian down to Roseman tomorrow to have a molar pulled that’s infected.

                I went back to Bewilder at 4 to let him have the car and he took me home and he went back there to work until around 7.  It seems really kind of strange like being a fish out of water there with all the remodeling and menu changes down there and new employees. I feel more and more like a ghost simply observing the living.

                Trumpf called the President of Ukraine a dictator and refused to call Putin one when asked. Musk fired 800 national park rangers and a near miss plane crash in Chicago. President Biden spent four years getting his idiot predecessor's unemployment figures down and in 1 month Faux President Musk and his orange con-artist rapist lacky have been increasing it by thousands, to dismantle oversight regulatory agencies to benefit Musk and keep Twumpf out of jail.  Make America Gross Again.

The 1 percenters Uber rich’s great lie about the trickledown theory is to keep their obscene wealth and to create America as a feudal state of aristocrats and peasants.

26 February 2025 Wednesday

I took Kyle to the airport this morning before 5 and had been up since 4 so it was a long day. I had the car to do some running around this morning going to DI to look for a small dresser but there was nothing there suitable although I bough a small table lamp for Adrian’s room. I went to Smith to get some eggplants for Bewilder  and I saw Maria there doing fries so I gave her a big hug. Kyle needed me to bring some keys down to Papi’s for Jose before I was able to come back home. There I saw a message that The Ford Truck was going to be repossessed  and that the HELOc was passed due. So I will have to figure out a way to pay that up.  I also saw in the mail a notice from the Third District Court for Kyle, which I just can’t worry about as well as a notice that my water was going to be turned off if not paid. When I had to change my credit and debit cards my automatic payments hadn’t gone through so I had to deal with that. When Adrian came home from work, I took him down to Roseman at 3 so he could have a molar extracted. He was really nervous about it and I waited for him until almost 4:30. It was after 5 with the heavy traffic and after getting Adrian home, I had to go to Restaurant Depot to buy two logs of hamburger meat and 20 lbs. of Jalapenos to bring down to Bewilder.  I barely made it to the store before they closed.

                After delivering them it was close to 7 before I finally was home as I also had to stop and get some more gauze for Adrian and some Listerine mouth wash he wanted.

                I made this enchilada cornbread dish and baked it before going to bed but I was too tired to try any of it. Adrian was already a sleep when I came home.

27 February 2025 Thursday

Well I had a busy morning as Kyle sent me a list of items that Bewilder needed today for the event tonight.  I decided to go early to get it out of the way. I first went to Restaurant Depot  to get hamburger, romaine lettuce, spring salad mix, and lemons. Then off to Chef Store to get rolls and hamburger buns.  I brought it all back to Bewilder and put it away before heading off to Harmons as Kyle wanted 100 original bratwurst. I thought I might have to go to several stores but luckily the store downtown had plenty as they were running a 5 for $25 special on their meats. Each package contained about 5 sausages so I bought up all they had out on display.

                When I brought them back to Bewilder, the morning crew was coming in so then I went to Main Street Meats and picked up the Chicken that Kyle ordered yesterday and brought that back. Surprisingly and gratefully Kyle had enough money in his accounts to pay for it all, which I think was under $300 anyway with all the meats I bought.

                From there I came home and got my check book out to pay $675 to the Heloc and $744 for the Ford Truck. That was $1400, which was probably all my Social Security check.

                Finally I was able to go to the library to get some reading material and at the house Yolanda was here taking care of Adrian. When she was done I took her back to Johana’s and then finally laid down for a while.

                Adrian must have been feeling much better because he had two of his girl friends over and they were blasting Latin music from his room.  I walked the pups this morning and afternoon and I was really surprised that all three ate some of my enchilada pie I made yesterday. I knew Lucy would because she eats anything but was surprised when TJ and Maxx did who are generally fussy.

                Nearly 4:30 Adrian asked me to take Yolanda into work as she didn’t have a ride so I went and picked her up and took her down to Bewilder. While there I checked on how the preparation for the 110 people tonight was going without Kyle there to supervise and none of them having done an event before. Kyle left Daniel basically in charge and while a good worker was hardly experienced with setting up for an event. So I stayed and communicated with Amanda the bar manager to get the tables and serving trays arranged. I think she was glad I was there because I spoke English.  So after I was satisfied that they would be alright I left. They had a crew of 4 working tonight and the buffet dinner was simple with just sausages, fries and a salad to deal with.

                It was nearly 6;30-7 before coming back home and I fixed myself a BLT sandwich for my supper after feeding the pups. I knew they weren’t starving because of the treats they had while I was home.  I went to bed around 9 after looking at Facebook posts regarding the dire straights that foreigner is doing to my country.

In the news actor Gene Hackman was found dead in his Santa Fe home along with his wife and a dog with no immediate known cause. He was like 95 years old.

28 February 2025 Friday

Well this short month has ended with Kyle coming home from Atlanta and Adrian recovering from his molar extraction. After picking up Kyle from the airport at 11:30 I was without a vehicle again so stayed home, walked the pups, typed up my research, and in the early evening read from Then You Were Gone by PJ Jacobs. At  first I wasn’t sure if I would like it but I kept reading 10 chapters of it before time for bed.  It is more of a “thriller” mystery than a cozy genre that I prefer for light reading but I will finish it.

                The biggest change in my life this month was adopting Lucy this Yorky-Dachshund mi. She’s a very affection pup rust colored but kind of dominant with TJ and Taco. She is a chow hound for sure and will eat anything.  New dogs never replace the love for former dogs but they help with healing and enlarging the heart.

I am used to being alone now. Before Covid 19 shut down everything and people were told not to gather I used to have people over for dinner parties a lot. Sharing good food and company was what made my life rich.

After everyone was ready to leave I would say leave the dishes I will get to them tomorrow. Doing the dishes was not a chore  but  a reminder of the joy of having friends over for dinner and a movie... I'd rather have had a sink of dishes and the memories, and know that I have friends, more than a clean house. That's why I always said leave the dishes I will get to them tomorrow....

Covid 19 changed how older people socialized...we just got used to staying home and isolating. With all the new diseases and old ones emerging I wonder what the new pandemics will do.

I do think we will look back on President Bidens term as the Golden Years before we threw it all away for a Billionaire kleptocracy.

                The traitor in chief gave the president of Ukraine a dressing down which was disgraceful and shows his loyalty is to Putin rather than to the American people.  So many people are okay with the felon setting himself up as a dictator, which in his psychopathic way he sees himself as king.

The greatest threat to our country is not from Canada or Latin America it’s from that white supremacist foreigner from South Africa. Who is really taking away American jobs and helping spread diseases around the world?

You know something is terribly wrong when Steve Bannon, a former top adviser to President Donald Trump, called  the billionaire a "parasitic illegal immigrant" and accusing him of using his influence to push an agenda that disregards American traditions.

Evil has taken the reins because Christianazis want to hasten Armageddon

               

 

March

1 March 2025 Saturday

I am so old that my dreams are even old. I dreamed I was watching something on a video tape and when I went to rewind it, some of the tape was jammed and I had to pull out the tape and rewind with a pencil.  I lived in a time that  a land line never quit working or was lost and you could work on your own cars.

                Kyle took the car  so I was home all day. After walking the pups this morning it was such a nice day out that I decided it was time to do some winter yard clean up and I pulled up the sunflowers and tomato plants left from last fall and general yard clean up. It felt good to be working in the yard but I was tired afterwards. I filled two trash cans so that was a start.

                Adrian stayed home again but stuck to himself so we didn’t interact at all much but I did make him a green salad for his supper. I was making one for my supper also.

                I finished reading Then You were Gone, speed reading and skipping pages that was just filler and didn’t really move the story along. The main character was this bipolar psychologist who discovered a crime while trying to find how her boyfriend disappeared. I really didn’t care for the main character so it was hard for me to really get into the book although I think it was well written and I did want to read how it ended.

                At one point Kyle called me and wanted my opinion as he was frustrated that Milagros and Johana apologized and wanted to come back to work. One of the issues is that Bewilder has really taken off and the kitchen was running out of prepared foods like pretzels and chicken schnitzels. There’s plenty of food but just not enough prepared even with the nightshift gal. I guess they did a $1000 day lunch and ran out of stuff for the evening. They went through 600 pretzels even for this week. Kyle doesn’t want to hire them back but he kind of needs people that he wouldn’t have to train to do prep work. If he did hire them back it would be to work the Graveyard Shift which I don’t think they would want. He was frustrated also with discussing it with me as I thought they should be given a second chance if they agreed to work the graveyard shift.  I personally think it would be safer to have two people on that shift than just one considering the neighborhood. Oh well.

2 March 2025 Sunday

Another stay at home day although it was quite nice out. Well at least staying home I am not spending any money.  Yolanda and Chuito returned to the house today  and Kyle came home around 2 from working the Brunch at Bewilder. He said he wasn’t feeling well so he went downstairs and I didn’t interact with him for the rest of the day. When Adrian came home from work he  seemed to be in a good mood and was playing loud Latin music and singing.

                I sent off some of my Romero research by email to a man named Damian Aragon in New Mexico as he was researching the same Juan Domingo Romero of Trampas

                Other than that, I started to read one of my books from the series the Vinyl Detective but after a couple of chapters I lost interest as the author seemed more interested in showing off his music knowledge of old 75 rpm records than character development and moving the plot along.  It was a series and perhaps you had to read the first ones to care anything about the characters. It was like coming in the middle of a movie.

So I started another one that at first I didn’t know if I would like because it was written mostly in dialog as it was written as kind of a documentary. But once I accepted the format I thought it became interesting. I am dropping a lot of my TV subscriptions like Hulu and Max to save some money and the fact I don’t watch them much anyway.

I am no longer using the term Republican for the former party of Lincoln but Republicanazi for the new fascist party of the sociopath felon who is gaslighting America about Ukraine lying through each syllable that comes out of his mouth

3 March 2025 Monday

All that is on Facebook is the disgraceful attack trump and butt boy Vance did at the meeting with Zelensky in support of Russia. MAGADYTES have become American's 5th column, the enemy within. For ya’ll not familiar with the term, "A fifth column is a group of people who undermine a larger group or nation from within, usually in favor of an enemy group or another nation." So the Siberian Candidate in the White House claims Ukraine started the war, is calling Zelensky a dictator, said Western Europe is full of criminals and now the alcoholic Secretary of Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth has issued a directive to U.S. Cyber Command to pause planning against Russia, including offensive digital actions.

Dolly Parton’s husband Dean Parker died at the age of 82. They had been married 60 years.

4 March 2025 Tuesday

Kyle had the FIT all day so I spent my time reading and finished Murder In the Family  by Cara  Hunter. She wrote it in the form of a movie script with mainly dialog which actually was quite good. I ended up enjoying all 466 pages of it. After that I started in on The Game Is A Foot  part of Vicki Delany’s Sherlock Holmes Bookshop mysteries.  I read 10 chapters so far I guess I will continue.

                Kyle fired Catalina this morning as he didn’t like her attitude and claimed she was making too many mistakes. I wouldn’t know as I am never much down there anymore. At noon while I was on the couch reading, Gabe came over to get Yolanda and Chuito and at first I thought he had driven but instead he rode a scooter and put Chuito in his wheelchair that Yolanda pushed down to Johana’s place at the Grove apartments. At first I was concerned but the weather was nice if a bit cool and when Adrian came home he said that in Columbia people walk everywhere and his mother was used to it and probably wanted the exercise.  I doubt whether it’s a half a mile from the house to the apartment.

                When I wasn’t reading I was correcting some grammar and spelling errors to send a copy of my research on Captain Diego Romero to send off to Damian Aragon not that he requested it but thought it might be useful for others.

5 March 2025 Wednesday

 I paid $112 on my water bill that was overdue, My account number is W924672 and password Kyles birth.  I still owe $115 due on the 16^th.  I also spent some time posting to the Romero Blog what I had researched so far on Captain Bartolome Romero, Mike’s first American ancestor who preceded any of mine by at least 30 years.

                When I walked the pups this morning it was quite nice out but later it clouded up and was sprinkling lightly when I walked them at 4:30 and then it rained for most of the rest of the evening.

                I was edgy being home alone so I texted Kyle that I wanted to go to the Senior’s Out and Proud first Wednesday Coffee clutch that TJ and Jim attend as last year I said I would. Kyle was working at Bewilder as Milagros wouldn’t work a day shift until tomorrow so and the new woman Ruth were the only ones working in the day but he said he’d come and get me.

 I thought he wouldn’t come until before 3 but he needed to come at 1:30  as there was a break in customers. So I hurriedly got changed and went with him down to Bewilder where I hung out a bit. Sal, Jim Dabakis’s Mexican friend was there taking pictures for the new menus, I so visited just a bit before I left to going to the Coffee Break on 400 South and Denver Street.

I was there way to early so I found a spot to park and waited in the FIT until a few minutes before 3. When I went in I was taken by surprise to see Connell O’Donovan at the front counter as he must have come in off of 4^th South and I was in the parking lot behind so hadn’t seen him. He glanced in my direction but if he recognized me he gave no sign of it so I hurried out the back. 

Damn I forgot that he might be there and I sure wasn’t in the mood to endure his verbosity and pompousness as well as his feigned pleasantries.  Besides this evidently, was his social outlet and not mine. I did see Angie Salot and it would have been nice to talk to her about all the postings I have done of the history page regarding the Kristin Ries Recipient Wall that had been removed but Chad Call, the new director, commented it was his goal to restore it at the new center. However it wasn’t worth being phony around Rocky after reading what he said about me in his collection he sent to the Marriott Library Archives.

                So I decided to go to Harmons and finally try their Chinese buffet and picked up some sesame  pork, a spring egg roll and teriyaki chicken. I just had small portions of each about a 8 ounces worth and I bought a half a loaf of their bakery sourdough loaf.

                It was about 3:30 when I went back to Bewilder and Kyle asked me to wait until Daniel came in at 4 with the evening shift before taking me home.

                So that is why I was late taking the pups for their walk and it was sprinkling by then. I had cooked them some chicken thighs earlier so they didn’t miss their supper and they really seemed hungry.  With Lucy in the house, TJ and Taco seem to have better appetites and Taco isn’t so hesitant to eat anymore. I think he knows that Lucy will gobble his bowl if given half a chance.

                I was reading a bit when Kyle and Adrian came in around 6:30. They had gone out to dinner together at Zupa’s.  Years and years ago Kyle said that his and my relationship is no one’s business and I can say the same about his and Adrian’s.  I don’t have to understand it. I am just happy when they are getting along well if not for their sake but for everyone one else’s also.

                The Siberian Candidate put tariffs on goods from Canada and Mexico which made the stock market drop so that Billionaires could buy up stocks at fire sale prices. Ontario, Canada has banned buying any products from the United States. Oh well I am resigned that I am living through the Last Days of the former United States of America unless Congress and the courts step in to fight the Putin/Musk/Trump Triade.

6 March 2025 Thursday

Overcast and gloomy day  but I was home all day without a car. Adrian’s days off now our Thursday and Fridays I guess and he was gone driving for Lyft  much of the day.  I added some information on the Romero blog before mostly watching documentaries on YouTube as I was mostly bored.

                I saw that Chad Call of the Pride Center called for a rally tomorrow as that Utah’s Senate passed a bill to outlaw the display of Rainbow flags on government property.

7 March 2025 Friday

Another day at home. I woke up to snow on the ground but not a heavy storm less than an inch I think. With both Adrian and Kyle gone and no transportation I am starting to feel isolated and trapped. Kyle said he’d be home around 5 but wasn’t until after 7:30. I was pissed because I had wanted to go grocery shopping and take books back to the library. He knows I don’t like going out at night anymore.

                I think he felt contrite but I am the one going  without any contacts anymore. He offered to take me to the store but I just went by myself as just wanted to browse and not be hurried along with him waiting in the car.

                So I went to Smiths around 8 and mainly bought snacks for me and the pups so if I am going to be stranded at home alone at least I will have some treats.

                There was a rally at the State Capitol with the Pride Day Parade’s massive flag to protest the Mormonazis passing a bill to ban the Pride Flag on government property.

MAGA's  Friday America update... Trump's Tariffs Send Prices Soaring at Target and Best Buy… Trump changes course and delays some tariffs on Mexico and Canada…Kentucky's bourbon makers are up in arms about Canada yanking their bottles off shelves…3 days in, Trump is backtracking on his tariffs on Mexico and Canada…Layoffs spiked in February, led by DOGE cuts…Trump puts new limits on Elon Musk's authority amid backlash to DOGE cuts…FAA Halts Flights After Musk’s Starship Rocket Explodes and Rains Down Debris…Enola Gay was scrubbed from Military sites due to DEI ban on the word Gay.

Are we winning yet?

 So sad the news about Gene Hackman and his wife's cause of death  and those poor dogs living without food or water for a week. I guess his wife died of the hantavirus nearly a week before he died and since he had dementia there was no one there to care for them or the pups. They were all dead for two weeks before anyone bothered to check on them . I can't understand with their millions and his health so poor they didn't have a housekeeper

8  March 2025 Saturday’

Kyle wanted me to go with his today to Bewilders to unwrap all his new serving plates as he is doing away with all the metal trays we have used since we took over the kitchen 18 months ago. There are so many changes down there that it doesn’t seem like the same place at all.

While there Andy Dalrymple called me as I had posted to him that I saw that Rocky O’Donovan wasn’t in the photo of those who attended the SOAP coffee last Wednesday although  I saw Roy Zang and Andy there.  He said that when Roy showed up Rocky took off as they have had issues. Rocky can only be around people who don’t know him as well as we old timers who  can’t stand his pomposity.

I told Andy that I had left as soon as I saw him at the coffee shop as this town isn’t big enough for the two of us. Ha! Andy also told me what he heard about Greg Hardin, who is in jail. When I told Kyle he did a search and Greg is actually in the new prison out by the Great Salt Lake.

After working down at Bewilder, Kyle and I went to Charlie Chow’s where I bought our lunches. I just had sweet and sour pork and lo mein and took a lot of it home. Kyle had the Mongolian BBQ grill and had two plates so he must have been hungry.

                Went home after that and was by myself for much of the rest of the evening. Kyle and Adrian went out for dinner at some rice place Adrian likes down in Sandy while I watched a lot of documentaries of sorts on YouTube, especially food shows and paranormal before going to bed.  I didn’t work any on the Romeros by giving that a rest.

                I guess there was good coverage on the protest at the state capitol yesterday with the Pride Parade’s huge flag displayed leading up to the steps. Andy and Roy were there and Andy said that he wished there had been a larger crowd there, only about 100 people were there,  but then it was rather last minute.  Andy said he heard that the ACLU and Equality Utah are quietly working behind the scene to squash the SB 77  banning the display of Pride Flags at schools and on public property.

9 March 2025 Sunday

 I dreamed last night I was down at Bewilder and there were all new people there and thought I might as well go home.

Well no one on my Facebook pages posted anything about the start of Day Light Savings starting today! Usually there are lots of reminders and bitchy comments but nada. So when I looked at my clock hearing Adrian scurrying out at 4:45 I thought it was odd that he was leaving so early until I later was looking at the time on my computer and it was an hour later than all my wall analog clocks!  I thought we didn’t change until next week so this seems really early to me.

                Anyway I changed all the clocks in the house, did some laundry, and decided it was time to really clean my bedroom, sweeping, and mopping, and switching things around. I took about two hours doing it and as we are now an hour a head it was nearly 11 when I was through.

                Kyle also brought Yolanda and Chuito home around noon and she must have been tired because they stayed in their room for most of the time resting.  Even when Adrian came home he went to his room and slept.

                Roy Zang called me to visit and to catch up on things. Nothing new about his health, just worried that his cancer might spread. He gave me more dirt about his encounter with Rocky, that how after he sat down next to him, Rocky jumped up and said he wasn’t staying making a scene and left. This guy named Larry who runs the group and another guy even left to go after him to see if he was alright. He’s such a drama queen and big baby. Roy said he’s going to make it his mission to go to events where Rocky might attend to bug him. Ha!

                I finished reading the Sherlock Bookstore mystery and it turned out a bit better than I thought it would but still mainly fluff. I also started listening to an audio book A River in the Sky “a Amelia Peabody Mystery” about an English Egyptology mystery before World War I.

                So I didn’t go anywhere today and Kyle came home around 7 and said it was a slow day at Bewilder.

10 March 2025 Monday

It was a really nice day out, like Spring is finally here, not that I was able to go anywhere. I watched YouTube a lot and Yolanda and Chuito left when Adrian came home from work to stay at Johana’s.

I am an old poop after just an hour and half of yard work, raking leaves, pulling weeds and trimming back flower beds...I used to spend 4 hours without much sweat but at 74 I can still cut the mustard but without the relish I once had... still grateful for a patch of land to grub in. When Kyle came home early he asked if I wanted to go get some ice cream at Baskin Robbins in Bountiful. I didn’t want any ice cream but went along for the ride and to give the pups a ride also.

Then I went to the Library to return the two books I finished and three others I knew I wouldn’t read. I checked out 5 more books.

11 March 2025 Tuesday

I made oatmeal pecan cookies today. That was my big adventure today. I started watching a Netflix series called the Leopard about a family during the Italian Unification during the 1860s and also after going to bed I watched The Day After, the 1983 ABC Nuclear War movie. It’s rather dated as there is no Soviet Union any more but Putin is every bit as much of a threat. The scenes when the Minute Men Missiles are launched still is riveting.

The Stock market lost  $4 trillion in value amid recession and tariff fears were headlines as well as “Trump reverses course, won't double tariffs on some Canada imports: Trade war live updates.” It’s almost like the country is being led by someone old with Dementia or is he just a plain idiot who thinks he's the smartest person on the planet.

The insane Right Wing [insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result] has turned the American economy over to a six time bankrupt and corrupt businessman with no understanding or loyalty to the Constitution who has turned the destruction of governance over to an unelected white supremacist with only contempt for democracy who says the greatest weakness of the liberal Western Democracy is empathy.

This Russian asset has aligned the United States with our totalitarian enemy and made enemies out of our friends and allies

He placed the most incompetent people in power to destroy the agencies on which the vast majority of Americans benefit in order to increase the obscene wealth of the Billionaire Aristocracy.

I think MAGA and Christianazis never watched the 1983 ABC movie The Day After which 100 million Americans did collectively in the time there was only 3 networks and the population of American was only 225 million.

We have a man in charge of the Nuclear codes, a known enemy of NATO, with no guard rails, and no fealty to our Constitutional Republic.

12 March 2025 Wednesday

I didn’t get to bed until around 1 in the morning having stayed up to watch the entirety of The Day After. It was nearly 10 when I fixed a late breakfast of pancakes and Mocha coffee and walked the pups. It was exceedingly windy as a storm is coming in tomorrow they say. Trash cans were being blown over and I brought mine in and then since it was warm but windy I decided to do some yard work. I guess seeing some purple crocuses blooming and my forsythia bush starting to bud inspired me to do some clean up. I cutted back some roses and then went to town on the flower bed in front of the downstairs window by the walk way. I cut back all the marjoram that had taken over, and actually dug it all up, moved some planters, rocks, and paving stones before calling it a day. I was out there from 11 to 1 so that was plenty of grubbing for the day. In another week it will be Spring. On a grammar site I watch it said that seasons are never capitalized just days and months! Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter! Ha!

                Kyle came home around 8 and showed me the new menu he’s designed for Bewilder that he’s been working on all week. He also asked me to go with him tomorrow to buy groceries for the week for Bewilder.

                I went to bed around 10 and Adrian was blasting Latin music from his room as I tried to fall a sleep which I managed until I woke at midnight to hear Adrian in the bathroom throwing up

13 March 2025 Thursday

It was nice out when I walked the pups at 8:30  but after I left to go with Kyle to go grocery shopping for Bewilder it started to drizzle and also rained pretty hard in the afternoon and by dark it had turned to snow.

We started out at Restaurant Depot to get the heaviest items before going to Bewilder. Kyle had bought a label making machine to label and date everything so I was putting stuff away as they were being label.

Milagros was in working this morning with Ruth and I gave Milagros a hug. I think Ruth is a good worker but I don’t have the history with her to actually do anymore than say hello.

We made several trips today, to Chef Store. Back to Restaurant Depot, and then to Harmons to get sausages. While there I bought a bag of white beans and a Baggett. I wanted to make some baked beans so I also brought home from Bewilder a jug of Molasses that was down in the basement that isn’t used by anyone anymore.

Kyle said that Adrian wasn’t throwing up last night from being ill but from being drunk on Margaritas. Kids.

After Kyle took me home I discovered I didn’t have my pair of glasses with me. I had them at Bewilder so I don’t know whether I left them there or in the car but at the house I couldn’t find any of my other pairs at all!  So I couldn’t type or read my books so ended up just making baked beans and watching YouTube on Cooking in History and Who Do You think You Are, genealogy programs.

As Kyle never came home in the evening at 7:30 I asked Adrian to take me down to the Dollar Tree where I bought two pairs but they were not my usual strength as they were out of most of them. Oh well.

I was in bed by 10 and really tired from all the running around and lifting I was doing. Kyle wants me to come in tomorrow to help in the morning with prepping for this weekend’s St. Patrick Day events.

Canadians will have to register if they stay longer than 30 days in the United States... WTF Trumps threatens to Annex Canada is basically right out of Putin’s play book with the Ukrainians...it amounts to an act of war...why aren't the Republican Congress calling this out...because they are complicit

Comrade Tramp wants to appease Putin by giving away parts of Ukraine just as Neville Chamberlain wanted to appease Hitler by giving away parts of Czechoslovakia   for "Peace in our Times". We all know you cannot appease asocial dictators.

Just what the hell has this criminal regime done to make America great again by provoking our allies and crashing the stock market and gutting essential government agencies?

The EU has responded in kind to Trumps Tariffs to the tune of 25 percent... the idiot who has never read a book in life and knows nothing of history is leading us into an economic collapse if no one has the spine to stop him... it's not like we don't know what Tariffs do

                The Smoot-Hawley Tariff Act, signed into law in June 1930, raised import duties on thousands of goods, aiming to protect American businesses and farmers, but ultimately led to a global trade collapse and is often cited as a factor in the Great Depression.

BTW Reed Smoot was a Mormon Apostle at the same time he was a Senator

14 March 2025 Friday

Today is pi day 3.14 I had some strange dreams, nothing to write about as they weren’t disturbing but just coming up from my subconscious. I made biscuits and gravy with a slice of bacon and one egg for my breakfast. Lucy is enjoying licking the plate.

                I walked the pups this morning around 8:30 and Kyle took me down to Bewilder to help out with prepping for this weekend St. Patrick events. Kyle had me put on kitchen coat and apron which was a first for me down there. Two Latinas were working there Ruth and another woman I think her name is Rosario but not sure. That really seemed strange to me and as the kitchen has been totally rearrange it was like working in a new environment.

                I was down there for about 4 hours until about 4:30 just kind of helping but didn’t do much really.

                I found my lost pair of glasses in the FIT so that was good. At home Adrian was cleaning and doing laundry for himself. My baked beans didn’t turn out at all so threw them out but I did take home some meat scraps from Bewilder to cook up for the pup’s supper.

                I was rather worn out and laid down around 8 to rest and fell asleep.

Trump supporters are as delusional as people who think  the 1st Class passengers on the Titanic gave a rats ass about the 2nd class  and Steerage families.

This is a hard time for all the empathetic people in America while the apathetic don't care until it affects them personally and the psychopathic are cheering the harm being done to others.

I learned a long time ago that only fools mistake kindness for weakness. Good people overthrew the British Empire. Good people abolished slavery and kept the Union.  Good people gave women and people of Color the rights to participate in  Democracy, Good People over threw the Japanese Empire and the Third Reich.

I do believe Good People will overthrow the Billionaire Trump/Musk/Putin tyranny eventually.

However every one of these events was not without blood, sweat, tears, sacrifice and courage.  Is a government of the people by the people, for the people worth keeping from perishing from the Earth?

Or is the price of eggs worth living under despotic Peter Thiel's Billionaire dystopic vision of a New World Order?

Are we still home of the brave?

15 March 2025 Saturday

                Today is the Ides of March. Adrian was up early around 4:30 banging around the kitchen that kind of woke me up. He was getting ready for work. I couldn’t sleep any longer so got up and fixed some coffee and cinnamon toast before walking the pups at 8. There was snow on the ground but not the sidewalks. Kyle wanted me to go to Bewilder with him to help with prepping for the St. Patrick specials of Corned Beef and Cabbage and Beef Stew. We also made about 32 loafs of Soda Bread.

                Kyle’s new crew came in at 10 and they all seemed to be good workers and got right to it getting the kitchen ready for a busy day.  Kyle took me home around 1:30 and I laid down to rest. I can really tell I don’t have the stamina I used to have. I tire easily.

About 3:30 Maria Hermandez and her little boy came to the house to give Adrian and me a little thank you gift as she had quit Bewilder today. It didn’t come as a surprise as that she was only working a few hours coming in to cut potatoes in French Fries as she had a good job at Little America cleaning rooms. She said she will never forget me and nor I her. She was the best worker down there, dependable and really a little bit of family to me. She was my favorite down at the Kitchen along with Luisana who quit last fall. I am so glad her life is good now and she has come a long way since she found her way into Bewilder and into my heart.  I will miss her but I know everything has changed down there which was evident from all the people who was working today, Daniel, Ruth, and a new hire Josef all Latino who have no history with me but all are good workers and that is what counts. After Maria left I got a little weepy knowing that chapter in my life has closed.

16 March 2025 Sunday

I am a ridiculously empathetic person but when I see reels that show people bemoaning their vote for the tyrant in the White House because they feel betrayed and lied to, I want to punch them and say fuck you.

                They had 4 years of his lying and they didn't care about him lying about people eating cats and dogs as long as he was attacking people other than themselves.

Now that his Demented policies are impacting them, all of a sudden they have buyer’s remorse, well fuck them and the horse they rode in on. 

A lot of good people will be harmed for their stupidity and downright evilness voting for Putin’s stooge because they thought the sociopath in the White House would only harm the people they don't like or don't care about.

Perhaps God did send Trump...to punish Americans for allowing the ignorant and hateful to harm others rather than love one another.

I adopted a rescue named Maxx in 2016 on this day when he was 5  years old, given up because he wasn't good with kids. He's the only dog who I never renamed as I wanted to be like Norma Desmond and yell "MAX" ... he was Coco's playmate and a sweet boy. I lost him Iast November when he was around 13 years old. I miss him. When you get to a certain age there are more endings than beginnings but grateful for all the in betweens

In 2023 a young woman rode the front runner down from a shelter in Ogden looking for work. She was an immigrant from Columbia. She showed up at Bewilder after coming across Adrian. We hired her first as a dish washer and almost immediately as a line cook and prep worker as she was such a hard worker. She rode the front runner every day and once she missed the train and stayed out all night in SLC in winter. We were aghast and made sure that would never happen again. She had a little boy to take care of which her husband shared days and nights taking care of him.

Finally we helped her find an apartment and I gave her my old wooden post bed and mattress, some other chairs and a rocking chair for her son. Mike Romero also had furniture including a bed for her son.

Maria was college educated, father was a school teacher and made the arduous journey to America like millions of others for a better life.  She and her husband painted and sheet rocked  my movie room into two bedrooms.

  She came by yesterday with gift to say that her new job made it too hard to continue at Bewilder and to say she will never forget me for all we did for her. With attending university and working full time, I know she will have a great life.

                 After we  hugged and she left, I became weepy after another chapter closed but so happy that she was a part of my life if ever so briefly. Life is full of comings and goings and when it's over the only thing we leave behind are memories. Make them good ones.

María Hernández wrote “Really discovering and meeting people like you, Ben, Kyle and Adrian, gave me an opportunity to see life differently. I will always be grateful to God, with the destiny of having met you, you and Kyle have a different culture, but a culture that made me love.  I got to see people who love family, that family is the priority, you will always be my bosses and my friends, we always have the cycles in the places and in the lives of people, you are a cycle that passed but that will remain under good memories and a family union because, more than work, you welcomed me, in the best way I love you.

17 March 2025 Monday

A windy day ahead of a winter warning. I stayed home all day this Saint Patrick Day and just watched You Tube  TV after managing to set it up on the bedroom TV.  It would have been a nice day to fly a kite except that it was still not warm out.

                Adrian looked really beat coming home from work. He said it has been really busy the past couple of days. Kyle didn’t come home until after 7 having left out early. He brought home some food, stew and corned beef left over from today. He said that it was a busy day down at Bewilder and he even had to go get more cabbage for the corned beef he was serving. So hopefully he  did well this past weekend.  While he was home we tried trimming TJ’s nails but he shrieked so much I am going to take him down to have someone else do it.

                Yolanda was cooking meals for Adrian to have this week and they seem to be fine. I visited a little with them but still seem to be a phantom in the house just observing and not participating.

                I watched the British Nuclear War film Threads before going to bed. I think the lucky ones in any nuclear exchange will be the ones who die quickly.

18 March 2025 Tuesday

It’s a winter wonderland and just two days before the first day of spring in Utah. I heard it raining when I went to bed last night but woke up to about 2 inches of snow on the ground. I fixed myself some Malt O Meal and coffee, checked my Facebook news, and at 9 took the pups for a walk. Some kind soul had cleared the sidewalk around the entire block although my front steps were rather treacherous. Lucy its seems loves the snow, prancing around in and even rolling around in it. I was going to take Taco and TJ to Pet Smart to have nails trimmed this morning but decided not to leave the house and drive in the snow.

Looking out my bedroom door at my deck railing. I saw a hawk eating something. At first I thought maybe bread but more likely it was a field rodent. It was amazing to see such a beautiful bird and when I grabbed my phone to take a picture, it flew away.  

Although Salt Lake is building up all around me, being so close to the Jordan River, the Rose Park golf course, and open country around me I still get to see nature up close.  I am grateful.

                I was alone all day as that Yolanda and Chuito must have left last night a head of the storm.  A blizzard hit around 3:30  but passed pretty quickly so I was able to walk the pups around 4 but later in the evening it began to snow again.  At least we aren’t having the tornadoes and high winds the rest of the Midwest is having.

                Adrian came home around 3:30 and took a nap before seeing him later. He was super tired from it being so  busy at his work. Kyle didn’t come in until after 6 and he said it was another busy day at Bewilder. I never hear him talk about Papi’s anymore  so not sure what is happening there.

Five years ago we were rocked by an earthquake out by Magna ... first quake I ever experienced in SLC although we do live near the Wasatch fault.

                Texas Republicanazis are trying to make being Transgender a felony. I hate to see Ann Richardson's  Lone Star Texas turning into Greg Abbot's  death star Texaswastika.  It's shameful and disgusting.

A Bayer executives home was set on fire by an arsonist... hmm… not surprising "In recent years, the company has come under heightened scrutiny after it acquired agrochemical giant Monsanto in 2018. Monsanto is the maker of Roundup, a popular herbicide used by homeowners and farmers alike. Thousands of cancer patients or their estates have sued, saying Roundup gave them non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma."  Richard  Butler has cancer the doctors attributed to his long use of Roundup.

Elon Musk’s Tesla stock is plummeting and countries are cancelling their Star Link contracts. Good.

The uber rich have convinced many Americans that somehow their wealth equates to their being super intelligent when most never invented or created anything but rather inherited fortunes. People that obscenely wealthy are no smarter than common grifters and other criminals who bribe and control power.

They are failed human beings incapable of intimate personal relationships and see others as enemies or people to use. One thing Trump, Musk, and Putin have in common beyond being autocratic is they are all deeply flawed divorced men unable to sustain a loving relationship with a partner.

19 March 2025 Wednesday

The last day of a winter which truly hasn’t been all that bad weather wise, not having to do much snow shoveling or using the snow blower but once or twice if that. Just  a repeat of a day without a car and no one here to visit with except the pups.

                Only thing on Facebook is the authoritarian take over of the government by Trump as he refuses to obey the Judicial branch’s lawful orders.

20 March 2025 Thursday

My leg is really hurting and I think it might be sciatica. I walked the pups early before 8 on this gloomy first day of spring before going off with Kyle to do some shopping for Bewilder at the Restaurant Depot. I was not feeling well at all and had him take me home.  He informed me that he is going to Mexico City on April 3^rd and won’t be back until the 9^th as he is meeting with the same folks that flew him to Atlanta. He expected me to be excited for him but all it means is that I will have to do all the shopping for Bewilder while he’s gone.

                I called Mike Romero this afternoon as I hadn’t heard from him in weeks and he came over this afternoon to visit. He sounded really well while I feel like I am declining. He’s got his diabetes under control due to his taking Monjaro. He’s also got his marijuana card from Dr. Stoneburner. Mike gave a gummy hoping it would work on my leg but I didn’t feel any benefit from it. While he was here he finally gave me a buzz haircut but I didn’t have him touch my beard which is really getting long. Before he went home we went to Del Taco in North Salt Lake and got a couple of bean burritos and tostadas.  I finally told him how Kyle lost his car and is just using the FIT now which kind of makes me feel like I lost some of my independence.

                This evening I was watch this Nick on YouTube that played song suggestion sent to him. He was born 1993, and didn’t know Linda Ronstadt, the Carpenters, The Righteous Brothers or k d lang but when he played their songs he became very emotional and teared up so it was sweet that the music from my youth is still appreciated. In fact I even started sobbing hearing Linda Ronstadt sing A Long, Long Time as memories of John Cunningham came back to hurt my heart. I think I’m gonna miss you for a long, long time.

                Before finally going to bed my right thumb down through my palm to my wrist started to throb really bad and I had no strength in my thumb to hold anything. So by the end of the day my leg required me to walk with a cane for support and my right thumb became useless as I felt like I was dizzy and falling apart.

21 March 2025 Friday

I had a fitful sleep waking up often to pain in my leg and hand without getting comfortable with the pups up and down also. I woke up before 4 feeling like my time was short and I would perhaps pass away or become incapacitated.  I just looked at Facebook until almost 6 before falling back to sleep with strange realistic dreams like being at Bewilder and walking down into the basement and it had all been cleared out of everything and was empty. I wonder what that was about.

                I also realized that I need to make having a Living Trust a priority before I  pass to keep Kyle and Adrian from losing everything in probate.

22 March 2025 Saturday

I was not feeling well all day and never left the house. I slept poorly with my leg and hand still achy but no matter what walked the pups twice and fed them their supper. I looked up some information on creating a living trust for the house and when Kyle came home after 6:30 we sat down and talked about finances. He also had a new Wheel Chair for Chuito as the previous one didn’t have any support for his feet.

                I told Kyle I was not well and not sure how much longer I will stick around but want to make sure the house is safe for him, Adrian and Yolanda and Chuito. Its about the only asset I have left of any value.

                He said he went to Dr. Stoneburner today and got an A+ on his report as well as did Mike Romero when he went a while back. Kyle had lost 6 pounds probably from stop drinking Dr. Peppers. He said he also called a bankruptcy lawyer which he will initiate when he returns from Mexico by my birthday and after that we should file bankruptcy for me.

                I can tell that I am just wearing down although I was still able to change my bed sheets, remake the bed and do some laundry. Just kind of doing everything stiff and slow.

                I have been watching on YouTube this woman named Kim Russo, just like the lesbian I knew, but she is a psychic medium and has been resolving issues for Paula Adbul, Kim Carnes, and Shirley Jones so far.  I am probably just gullible but after experiencing the haunting of Murray Van Waggoner’s house on 13^th East back in 1978 with  Fran and Sam my dog with unexplained footsteps and things going bang in the night and our renters hearing things and even Mom hearing the footsteps down the stairs, so I am not a total scoffer and I know I believed Grandma Danforth came to me in a dream to find her Anderson relatives who were all aunts which I never would have been able to find on my own so who knows if there is an afterlife or not but I certainly do not believe in a Patriarchal Heaven or Hell

23  March 2025 Sunday

I went in with Kyle this morning after walking the pups at 8 and he had me run to Harmons and get some Chicken and Garlic and Sweet Italian brats. I had to go the Brick House Store and well as the Taylorville stores. Kyle had a talk with Ruth and Josef this morning about how important to put out quality food and to not be afraid to call him about anything. I stayed until after 12 helping him install some security cameras but I was tired and hungry so I took the FIT home to rest and eat a bite. I was really sleepy but didn’t dare take a nap as I needed to be back at Bewilder at 2 to retrieve Kyle.

                Back at the house Adrian and Yolanda came in with a bunch of groceries that I helped put away for them while I was cooking some beef and cabbage soup. I also made a pineapple upside down cake while I was at it but I was about worn out.

                I watched some YouTube on Edie Falco’s genealogy while yesterday I watched Ian McKellen search for his family roots. I also watch the food channel on a Pompeii kind of pizza dish as well as the Kim Russo psychic show on the haunting of Sally Struthers.

                I was in bed by 10 all tuckered out.

                My sister Charline died 5 years ago today.

New password Ben for AFCU

24 March 2025 Monday

I took the car at 7:30 to go get some butter and some other items I was out of before Kyle needed it. Yolanda spent the day mopping floors and cooking up Adrians meals for the week.  The latest outrage in the Trump administration was the inclusion of Jeff Goldburg of the Atlantic Journal in the war plans against Yeman on an unsecured Chat forum called Signal.  It seems no one in Trumps cabinet knew he had been inadvertently added to the war plans and had access to all their conversations and documents.

25 March 2025 Tuesday

Another stay home day with no one here but me and the pups. I did work a little bit tilling some soil when Kyle drove off but didn’t do much because I can’t do what I used to do. When a package came for Kyle when I attempted to bring it into the house, Lucy used it as an excuse to high tail it out the door and started running down the sidewalk. There was no way I could chase her but I called sweetly to her and she turned back  so I could catch her and haul her butt back into the house. I was so upset with her and told her if she ever does that again I won’t come after her if she thinks life is better somewhere else.

                I didn’t see Adrian much today and Kyle didn’t come in until after 8

I wonder when Christian Nationalist Republicans will try to repeal the 13th amendment after all God's Holy Word  in  Leviticus 25:44  says, "As for your male and female slaves whom you may have: you may buy male and female slaves from among the nations that are around you."  If I  advocated enslaving Canadians and Mexicans based on Biblical law people would think me a lunatic but it's perfectly acceptable to promote hatred of homosexuals and wish them put to death... It's in the Bible.

26 March 2025 Wednesday

I have been watching old episodes of the Alfred Hitchcock Hour as being home without a car there’s not much else to do. The most scary episode I ever saw as a kid was The Unlocked Window which scared me to death. I just watched it  yesterday, and I always remembered how I felt when I first saw it sixty years ago on 15 February 1965. Alfred Hitchcock, like Perry Mason used real character actors and used believable plot lines from novelists and often had 30 episodes a season.

The Unlocked Window gave me a real horror fright with Dana Wynters and TC Jones playing home care nurses in a town terrorized by a serial killer who only kills nurses. John Kerr from South Pacific is the infirmed patient on a stormy night with the only man in the house sent into town to retrieve an oxygen tank and the housekeeping is an alcoholic who becomes hysterical when she hears a man laughing in the house. It turned out that the killer was the other nurse who was crossdressing and strangles Dana Wynters. The ending was so shocking and is considered a classic on television.  I was nearly 14 and had nightmares from it.

I have been watching mostly the show,  The Haunting Of where a psychic medium helps resolves different celebrities paranormal activities. The medium is named Kim Russo, not to be confused with our Kim Russo. LOL.

The show is entertaining and because of a paranormal experience I had in a house at 355 South 13th East just below the university, I don't discount what others say occurred to them.

Fran and I were house sitting for Murray Van Waggoner who we loved and had died. His sons lived in California and  asked if we would stay until they put the house up for sale.

I was the one who found Murray's body downstairs having passed away from a blood clot. He was 77 years old and grew up in the house that his father had built. Fran, while in college stayed with Murray and his granddaughters and after Fran and I married he wanted us to come live with him so he wouldn't be alone.

About 2 weeks after his funeral and everyone had left with just Fran and I alone in the house I woke up with Sam growling at the top of the stairs. I got up to make sure the house was locked up but Sam would not follow me down the stairs.

I couldn't see anything amiss but after getting back in bed we  heard footsteps on the stairs and walking in  the hall even hearing the floor board squeak. We just huddled together in bed with Sam.

After that night we moved downstairs and would not sleep upstairs or go up there at night. We would hear things fall off shelves at different times but once we realize that the noises wasn't going to hurt us but only spooked us.

We found out from the neighbor that 4 members of that family had died in that house of natural causes. Murray's sister died in 1916  age 17 from the Flu, his father died in 1919 of cancer, Murray's wife died in 1965 and Murray died in 1978. We figured that it may have been Murray's wife, as we really started hearing the noises, when we moved her things for our own space.

We had several college kids stay with us to help with the cost of heating the old house. Without ever telling them anything they moved out because of the strange things they heard when no one was home.

My folks came to Utah for a visit with my Grandma and my mom got up and went downstairs after seeing Grandma had a light on downstairs. Mom went down to sit with her when she heard someone coming down the stairs. Thinking it was my dad she called out his name several times hearing nothing. She was so frightened she put Grandma to bed and hurried back to bed herself. In the morning she said is there something you aren't telling about the house?” That when I told her the house made noises.

I remember once when I accidently woke Murray who then said he was glad there was something behind the noise. A neighbor said that Murray once asked her if her house made strange noises.

Anyway the house was finally put up for sale and we didn't want to deal with looky-loos so moved out. We told the young couple who was going to stay at the house that it made noises but they won’t harm you. They scoffed and said they didn't believe in ghosts. They only spent 2 nights in the house and were gone.

We figured it was someone from Murray's family so it wasn't quite as unnerving once we got used to it. Murray was a sweet old man and is buried at Mt Olivet . I should go visit him.

During all this Constitutional Crisis brought to  you by the GOP "Group of Predators" I find this is the only way to remain sane is to share my angst on Face Book although I know it’s controlled by a fascist Trump loving Billionaire. How much more clear can it be that the GOP is now absolutely the “Government of Putin” and not the Grand Old Party as Trump, Hepseth, and Gabbard are operatives of Russia. Why isn't there more coverage of Peter Thiel a billionaire immigrant from Germany, as well as Elon Musk a billionaire immigrant from South Africa who is using Trump only a second generation American himself, from dismantling the Constitution of the United States. These evil men want to destroy democracy to replace our constitution in order set up an elite government of Tech Billionaires controlled by themselves? We have had no King in America since 1783 but that may change just using another  term like Beloved Leader.

The cruel Christianites are happy to see democracy replaced by a Theocracy   as their God is Jehovah,  the angry vengeance and emotionally needy mountain God of ancient Ur whom Abraham brought with him to the Levantine. John Calvin’s Predestination  can only explain MAGA.

I mean look at the lunatic conservative GOP [Group of Perverts] and other right wing psychopaths. Their brains are hard wired to be non-empathetic and are convinced they are doing good when they actually are doing harm and don't care.

The MAGA crowd are so hard wired to believe every lie  and nonsense that Trump, FOX News  and Evangelical Christianite neo-fascists spew out. Trump didn't create them. They created a Trump cult and messiah  to justify  their paranoia and twisted world view where evil is good and empathy is bad.

Instead of acceptance of what they are doing as being evil they can just say I was just following my leader i.e.. The Wrathful Jehovah who has no qualms drowning the entire world or killing the first born Egyptian sons or the Golden idol Trump Messiah who has not an ounce of empathy.

It's not their fault as an all knowing God knew from the beginning which souls were going to hell and which were not and so MAGADYTES cannot change their nature because God predestined them to go to hell. They have no free agency because God knew from the beginning who were the bastards.

27 March 2025 Thursday

It's interesting that in your old age one minute you're just fine and then the next something hits you for a loop...getting out of the car a sharp pain behind the bend in my leg almost made me drop... Kyle helped me up the stairs and I took to my bed with a heating pad and some Tylenol. Adrian came in and rubbed vapor rub all over my leg. I think in South America Vicks is considered the cure all.

                I was fine all morning and I walked the pups before 8 so I could go with Kyle to go shopping for Bewilder. We went and got oil for the fryers yesterday. The poor Fit was packed to the gills from going to Restaurant Depot, The Chef Store, and to Smiths.

                Back at the kitchen Kyle had a lunch event going on and Ruth and Milagros was working was putting it together while Kyle set up the buffet. I didn’t have much to do but helped the little I was able.

                We then left at 12:30 to head north to Centerville to have the oil changed in the FIT. Along the way there was a bad accident where a truck rolled spilling its load. I don’t know if anyone was hurt but it sure backed up the traffic but we were in the 2 or more travel lane so we didn’t come to a stop like the other lanes.

                Kyle dropped me off at Chili’s while he took the FIT to Walmart and then came back to join me. I had the 10.99 hamburger lunch special which came with chips and salsa, fries, and a drink. Kyle just wanted a quesadilla. He paid for lunch. I was looking for an Onion Blossom but Kyle looked it up and the Awesome Blossom had been off the menu since 2008 LOL. I told him I didn’t even see Chili on the menu which was what the Restaurant was named after.  I then knew once more how old I am that everything I remember is in the past.

                After eating we walked back to Walmart as I wanted to buy some slip on shoes for walking the pups as the ones I had were getting worn out.  Kyle bought himself some shoes also.

                The FIT was ready about 1:30 and so we drove home. Kyle needed to go back out  so he was just going to drop me off and when I got out the car, my arms loaded with stuff, a sharp pain racked the back of my left leg and I thought I would fall. Kyle helped me up the stairs and I laid down with my leg aching but then the pups rushed me for their afternoon walk. I was afraid I might fall but I took my dad's cane and slowly hobbled around the block. First time I walked them using a cane and 3 leashes. I had my phone with me in case I fell, which was my main worry with the 3 pups but like a trooper I managed to get us all back safely to the house.

A storm is coming in so I wonder if my old body is more sensitive to the barometries... probably just wearing out...it frightens me to not be ambulatory in my old age as I have always been the care taker.  Oh well I am still semi-vertical just in some annoying pain but doesn't do any good to complain... old age is just what it is and it's a privilege denied to many.

Thinking about Bill Poore today. It's been two years since Bill Poore passed away at Mt. Olympus, Care Center at 7 in the morning. He died just up the street from where his parents are buried on 33rd South. He was 75 on his last birthday Feb 6. He was cremated and some of his Ashes scattered at Sheridan Square across from Stonewall

Bill Poore lived in Greenwich Village in the 1970's and 80s and worked for a while at the Helen Hayes Theater and knew Harvey Fierstein and other performers. Pictures are from his days on Broadway.

I cleaned and shopped for him when his last days were at his little studio apartment on 5th East. I think about him often

After graduating from Highland High School where he was class President, he  joined the Coast Guard after high school and actually was in New York City on the night of the Stonewall Riots in June 1969. 

After getting out of the coast guard he enrolled in the Theater Department at the U of U where he received his B.A.  Left Utah in 1977 with a boyfriend to make it big in New York City.  Eventually knew many of the Gay directors and producers and lived for a time on Fire Island before AIDS began to decimate the city.

He left New York after his friend Clyde Vinson died i 1989  who he took care of when he was dying of AIDS.  Clyde was on the faculty of University of Utah in Salt Lake City and Bill as a drama student who followed him to New York City. Clyde worked at the Circle Repertory Theatre in New York City and eventually opened his own Studio there. When Derek Jacobi won his Tony Award he thanked Clyde in his acceptance speech.

After Vinson's death, Bill left New York and moved to California where he became a director of the Diversionary Theater in San Diego.

He had an amazing life for being a coal miner's daughter.  He was cantankerous as he aged but was good to me. We were good friends and had a lot of Lucy and Ethel adventures here in Utah.

Fascism runs in Elon Musk’s family as his grandfather was a Canadian Nazi sympathizer

28 March 2025 Friday

I must have been full of rage last night as I dreamed twice of giving a tirade first to Rocky O’Donovan and secondly at a town meeting where a fascist woman was trying to reinstitute a draft registration. I went after Rocky for trying to influence a young person which would have only  benefited him and I wanted to berate the woman who must represent to me all the right wing harpies out there.

                I had a very restless night with my leg throbbing and hurting so I could not get comfortable and even woke up at 1 and didn’t get back to sleep until almost 3 in the morning.

                My leg has become manageable so I can get around without a cane but it still is difficult going up and down the stairs.

                Kyle came home around 5:30 which was early for him and he seemed worn out. Adrian was in and out all day so I was mostly alone.

                There was a major earthquake in Thailand and Myanmar of 7.7 and Facebook is filled with images of high rises swaying back and forth as well as some collapsing.

                The Trumpian fascists are stonewalling the Signal Chat scandal hoping Americans will have short memories and be distracted. The GOP’s mantra is “we all make mistakes”. The Vice President and his immigrant wife returned from going to Greenland on a pre-take over agenda. Utah is the first state to ban Pride Flags on government properties including schools and Cox was too much of a coward to veto the bill and just let it become law saying he disagreed but wouldn’t do anything.

Utah's moral coward Governor Cox allowed the homophobic hate driven bill to ban the display of the Rainbow Flag on public property and in public buildings to become law without his signature.  His milque toast lame excuse was that the legislature had the votes to override his veto so he simply said, how bad he feels about  it. Bull shit.

He could of stood up and used his podium to denounce the law, stood up for all Utahns,  but he is too much of a coward to stand up to the Trumpuppets.  I haven’t heard a word from anyone one in his administration condemning the law which will certainly be challenged in the courts.

Haven't heard a peep out of the Mormons condemning Trumps ICE gestapo attack on immigrants either.

You know damn well this bill came out of Utah County fascists and Mormon legislators trying to implement Trumps Project 2025.

29 March 2025 Saturday

I made a batch of molasses cookies yesterday and  ate about a dozen myself as they were soft and chewy... I stay home by myself mostly these days and I get bored lol at least the pain in my leg has subsided and I can walk again without a cane.

                I watched a lot of television today nothing else to do. I watched Nathan Lane’s new Gay sitcom Mid Century Modern and  High Potential an ABC crime drama featuring Kaitlin Olson.

                I walked the pups this morning and the weather was fine but in the afternoon as I was unaware it began to rain. In a break in the weather I walked them a second time.

                When Kyle came home he wanted to share some of the stuff he had been doing for Door dash orders on line and other things. We needed paper products for the house so we went to Costco on 3^rd West which I really don’t like because its so large but we bought stuff for us and Bewilder as well as I bought some dark chocolate caramels for me and doggie treats for the pups.

                It began to rain again but at Bewilder they needed original brats so  off to Harmons we went while I just stayed in the car.

                He took me home then

Elon Musk's takeover of America is official. The Citizen United Decision has allowed him to buy the 2024 election  and Donald Trump.

" Elon Musk is helping lead the investigation into the Signal chat leak involving top national security leaders and the editor-in-chief of The Atlantic."

 

30  March 2025 Sunday

I went down to Bewilder with Kyle as he needed some help with his wiring in the cameras but we came back home around 1 and stopped at Panda Express where we got some lunch to take home with us. I was surprised that Yolanda and Chuito never came over today

31 March 2025 Monday

The last day of the month and it’s Grandma Williams birthday born 1902 in Stonewall County, Texas. We left the house early today to pick up Gabe and go down to Papi’s. Jose took the day off because he was married on Saturday.  Kyle had me go to Restaurant Depot to get  fryer oil and some mushrooms after dropping them off.

                At Bewilder I took home a huge roast that was thawed out from St Patrick’s that wasn’t used and wanted to take care of it before it went bad as it was at least 20 pounds or more . So I spent the morning making stew meat, ham burger meat, fajita meat and a roast.  I was working on it when Yolanda came to  the house without Chuita, and Kyle called and said the kitchen needed bags of parsley and romaine lettuce. So off I went again to Restaurant Depot and brought the items back to the Kitchen. I then went to the Redwood Clinic to see if I needed any lab work done before seeing Dr. Stoneburner this Thursday. I didn’t so I went down to Papis to see if Kyle wanted any lunch so we went to Maverick and he then had me go get Brats. I had to go to Harmons in Taylorville and Brick House to get all that Kyle wanted and even then I was short on the chicken brats as they didn’t have all that Kyle wanted.

                I went back to Papi’s at 330 and it was sprinkling some so Kyle decided to close shop early so he and Gabe left early. Kyle took me home and Yolanda was gone so Adrian must have taken her back to Johana’s place.

                I stayed in the rest of the evening with my leg achy some and just watched some television.

I've noticed some people posting A I generated disaster scenes that have nothing to do with Southeast Asia's earthquake. What is wrong with people posting fake crap when there is a real tragedy