Journal 2006
1 January Sunday
New Year's Day-Its a new
beginning! Yeah! Now I have to go clean the house...
I have been sitting at this
computer all morning setting up this journal and a new blog for so long that my
butt has gone to sleep. I am 54 years old, and a middle-aged Baby Boomer. I was
born in West Texas, reared in
I live here
because of the weather, the scenery, and the quirkiness of Salt Lake City,
which by the way is not dominated by Mormons anymore. However they do throw
their weight around. Don't confuse SLC with
I am home alone
while my life partner is visiting relatives in
While their
experience was not mine I know so many who could relate and also my Partner is
from
I need to go
clean my house...take care of Saffy and Smokey, the schnauzers and Priscilla,
our dachshund mix.
I deleted my
Historical Society Yahoo Group Site yesterday after running it for 4 years.
Time to move on.
The weather
after a rainy New Years Eve is gorgeous. Blue skies, 50 degrees and no snow in
the valley! Yahoo!
2 January Monday
Circles Amazing weather we are
having isn't it!? Last day of Winter Recess then back to school. This site
helped me reconnect with a long lost friend. The internet is a miracle worker. About
7 pm yesterday I get an instant message from Marc LaMar an old friend I hadn't
heard from in nearly 15 years! I spent much of New Years setting up a 360 Yahoo
site and that evening he decided to look for me once again and found my new
site. It was so good to hear from him. Marc was one of my closest friends until
he moved away in 1988 to
3 January Tuesday
It rained for much of the morning
and then the sun came out and it is a gorgeous day along the Wasatch Front. And
with KFC's chicken fried steak Tuesdays for $2.99 I am in heaven! Now if my
schnauzer will quit peeing in the house! Geesh! Back To Work Picked up Mike
from the AMTRACK Station on 6th West at 10:30. Train was right on time. Took
Smokey with me to meet his master. No one loves Mike as much as old Smokey
does. It was drizzling out but later that night it poured. Went right to bed
because morning would come early. And it did. Fixed some hot cereal for
breakfast and gulped down some coffee. Wanted to show Mike my new 360 site and
show off what I just discovered but as usual he wasn't interested. Oh well.
What else is new. Hurried off to work
and tried to get back in the old routine. Greeted every one after a long
holiday. I was in such a hurry this morning I rushed off without my lunch. Well
I found out I will have two new students tomorrow. I will be up to 35 students.
I moved the desks around 3 times to finally find a way to make the room feel
less crowded. But anyway you cut it, the class looks huge. Dorothy Pratt got 3
new students so between the two of us we have 70 students! And they will keep
coming. I was upset today, after setting all my SEP conference times up for 35
spots, the system dumped it and screwed it up so much that I couldn't fix it. I
was mad and went to the office and said I was not happy. Ugh! The kids were
noisy but happy to be back at school. One little girl actually forgot and came
yesterday. I have really- really sweet kids, not the nasty spoiled ones I had
in
4 January Wednesday
Another Gorgeous Day Left the
house in the dark this morning to get gas and buy birthday treats for my
students. Gas is at $1.89 down the street compared to last September when it
was $2.89. I got my new students today.
35 kids packed into a classroom. At this point I am not teaching I am
warehousing. I got a list of state legislators that my kids are suppose to make
welcome cards for. One of the jokers was Chris Buttars. I emailed my principal
and said no way am I going to have my class welcome that jackass. He wants to
bring Intelligent Design in the classroom as a "legitimate"
counterpoint to the theory of evolution. And of course he wants to make the GSA
issue a divisive issue again. Anyway I do have nice students. Chad keller had a
letter to the editor in the Deseret News saying that the Days of 47 Parade
should be abolished! LOL
5 January Thursday
Post Holiday Blues-Dorothy got a
new student today. She is at 36. Her class has gone past the breaking point
now. Utah's state motto We Stack 'em Deep and Teach them Cheap.” Went to Del
taco for dinner tonight. Didn't feel like fixing anything. The pups were full
of energy. The meat diet must be working. Mike took me down to get my
medicines. Middle Age stuff...Lipitor, Lisinopril, glyburide-metformin-diabetes
stuff. It was a beautiful night out so we took the hounds for a ride. They love
their rides.
6 January Friday
Made Invitations for 35 Utah
State Representatives who will descend on my school for the governor's state of
the state address. Made sure that the ones for Jackie Biskupski, Ross Romero,
Duane Bourdeaux and David Litvak as well as other Democrats were cute. We went to the Golden Pearl for Chinese
takeout. Didn't feel like cooking. It was good. I watched a campy cult film
"
- Singer Lou Rawls died , Jan. 6 Additional
material Lou Rawls, the velvet-voiced singer who started as a church
choir boy and went on to sell more than 40 million albums and win three
Grammys in a career that spanned nearly five decades and a range of
genres, died on Jan. 6. He was 72. Rawls had been hospitalized for
treatment of lung and brain cancer. His wife, Nina, was at his bedside
when he died, Shefrin said. The family said Rawls was 72, although other
records indicate he was 70.
7 January Saturday
I was married on this day in 1977
to a woman I worked with at the
8 January 2006 Sunday
No entry
9 January 2006 Monday
Back to work. Don't you just hate
those words? The district is giving my school one and half additional teachers
because of our growth. Dorothy and I will get one because we have the largest
classes at 35 each. Fixed baked chicken and corn bread stuffin' for dinner.
Also had yams, peas and carrots and I fixed some mashed potatoes for Mike. Mike
bought a Ray Harryhausen DVD collection today. All the greats. Mom called to
asked if I was still paying for her Medical Alert One Monitor. I checked my
statement and they had already taken $240 out. Mom wants to send it back
because she can get the same service for free with her health plan in
10 January 2006 Tuesday
Mike bought tickets for Love! Valour! and Compassion!
for January 21st at the Rose Wagner Theater. Full Frontal Nudity! Ooh la la!
11 January 2006 Wednesday’
no entry
12 January 2006 Thursday
The Governor is coming! the
Governor is coming! A lot of hype today with no pay off. Jon Huntsman and his
entourage showed up at school for his photo op and to visiting with the 4th
Grade classes. Then he was suppose to come down to the 5th grade at 2:15. I had
my students practicing the preamble of the Constitution ready to recite,
several showed their questions to me that they were going to ask, and we moved
our chairs and desks around so Dorothy's class could bring their chairs in. So
at 2 I let them out for recess to burn off some energy when- who comes down the
hall at 2:10? You guess it. I said that the children were just getting ready to
return form recess but Huntsman said, just tell them that we will see them
another time. Yeah right. He shook my hand then his posse went off looking for
another photo op. I then had to explain to my students that they had just
missed the governor and of course after the big build up they were
disappointed. However to put things in perspective, later when I told my students
that we are having a Read-A-thon tomorrow, this one boy beams and excitedly
says "This makes up for missing the governor." Hmmmm Read-a-thon vs.
meeting the governor. You lose Guv. Stayed late for our quality teaching hours
to get ready for the upcoming SEP conferences with parents. I started writing
out conferencing notes on my students and by the 27th I was burned out. But I
have eight more to go. It becomes a blur. I have 35 conferences and I have to
spend 20 minutes with each parent so do the math on how many hours I have to
spend just talking to parents about their children's performance in class. Oh
by the way I now have 36 students. A new boy was placed in my class. He will
start Wednesday after this weekend holiday break for MLK and the Guv's State of
the State Address, and I honestly do not have a desk, or chair, or books for
him. I guess he can sit on someone's lap. Well in about two weeks my class size
will drop to 28 when the 4th/5th grade split in finalize. It's hard to give up
students that you have grow attached to but it will have to be done. I know
there is going to be some very unhappy parents. Jennifer Lewis came by to visit
from Orchard. She had never seen my classroom before. She loved the fact that I
have two windows. Orchard only has one in the old section. Jennifer said one
her obnoxious students the grandson of Ken Garf and some Mormon General
Authority Russ Ballard squirted her with invisible ink. I am so glad I am away
from those pompous arrogant assholes of Eaglewood. Governor Jon Huntsman came
to school today for a photo op. My kids were at recess when he came down to my
room with his entourage...Shook hands with the governor of Utah...first time
since shaking hands with Governor Matheson but in 1979 and Rampton in 1973.
I liked shaking hands with the democrats better.
13 January 2006 Friday
My letter to the editor printed
1/13/2006 in the SL Tribune; Bigotry trumped integrity - Salt Lake Tribune No one disputes Larry Miller's rights, as a
business owner, to show whatever movie he likes at his theaters. The issue I
have is that he broke several contractual agreements with other businesses and
violated the public's trust by pulling a movie at the last minute. My
mother taught me as a child that a man is only as good as his word. I guess
Miller's bigotry trumped his integrity. My question now is, can I trust him
with any of my business? Isn't integrity a moral issue? Ben
Williams Salt Lake City
14 January 2006
Saturday
Additional material Actress Shelley Winters, a blond bombshell of
the 1940s who evolved into a character actress best remembered for her roles as
victims, shrews and matrons, died of heart failure on Jan. 14. She was 85.
Winters was the first to win two Oscars in the best supporting category for her
roles as Mrs. Van Daan in Stevens' "The Diary of Anne Frank" (1959)
and Rose-Ann D'Arcy, the abusive mother who tries to turn her blind daughter
into a prostitute in "A Patch of Blue" (1965). Among her 130 films
was "The Poseidon Adventure" (1972), which earned her another
best-supporting actress nomination.
15 January 2006 Sunday
Mike and I went and saw
16 January 2006- 18 January 2006
No entries
19 January 2006 Thursday
Today my father would have been
81 years old. He was born 1925 and died the day after Christmas '03. He was a
good father considering his limitations. Mike and I are worried about our sick pup,
Saffy. She's not puppy but she's always been delicate. She was born August of
1997 so she is not all that old but when we took her in to have her teeth
cleaned before Christmas her blood work showed an infection in her liver. After
giving her anti-biotics we went back and the vet said her lipids were even
higher. I asked the vet if she does have cancer of the liver is there really
any treatment to cure it. Of course he said no, so I searched on the internet
about a new diet for her. I cut out all grain products because it seems that
dogs have a hard time digesting wheat. I also found a site that said a diet of
raw meat supplemented with ground up vegetables was a better diet for dogs
because that is what their nature intended them to be digesting. For the last
month she was very perky and energetic and had a very wet nose but yesterday
she seemed to just be lethargic not moving. Smokey is just beside himself which
makes me think something is more serious because Schnauzers can smell cancer.
He just lays next to his sister muzzle to muzzle. It’s really touching and even
heart wrenching to see Smokey so concerned about sister. We've been giving
liquid baby motrin and squirt water and broth into her mouth but she doesn't
seem very responsive. She doesn't act like she is in any pain, just very mopey.
Mike went to buy some Ensure formula for her hoping that the vitamins will help
her. I know in the scheme of things, Saffy may not seem that important, but she
is a little creature whom we have poured our love into. Because she was so
delicate she needed a lot of special care over the years. Mike always said that
only faggots would wash her little butt and take care of her little needs the
way we did. I am so hoping that she just has a virus or some type of dog flu
but I think we are both resigned for the worse. Speaking of the worse Kathy
Worthington's life partner is succumbing to her cancer so it’s not compared to
that at all but its still a life crisis for us. It's important value the people
and creatures in our lives while they are with us in this moment in time
20 January 2006 Friday
No entry
21 January 2006 Saturday
My little female Schnauzer Saffy
is so much better now. She was sick for two days not eating, drinking water or
moving from her spot. Her brother Smokey was beside himself, he just laid by
her side muzzle to muzzle. We kept giving her baby Motrin, and squirting water
into her but what really seemed to do the trick was giving her baby formula
Similac. That seemed to give her the nutrition she needed to perk back
up.
22 January 2006-25 January 2006
No entries
26 January 2006 Thursday
Long Days at work with Parent
Teacher Conferences all week. 36 students, 20 minutes per student equals how
many extra hours? Yikes. On Monday I will be getting another new student.
Fortunately the state finally ponied up the money they should have last fall
when I had 35 students and is giving our school a new teacher for a 4th/5th
grade split. If I would not have had students move away last term I would have
had over 40 5th graders! I will drop to
27 come Monday after the tribulation of deciding which students stay and which
students go and dealing with frustrated parents. Still even with a lower number I have not
one extra desk or chair, no more math books (short already) and forty more
students have registered at my school just this week! How many I will get my
principal doesn't know yet. They keep
sending students but no desks, chairs, or supplies along with them. Our school supply budget was emptied months
ago. I am at a Title One school which means I don't have the sharpest tools in
the shed anyway, and who really need more individualized attention. This is Republican Public Education. Keep the
schools packed, produce inferior education and blame the system so the elite
can have their private schools paid with public money in the name of Parent's
Choice. But Hey let's keep handing that tax money back to the rich and build
more roads for the exploding population! Keep the population stupid and you can
stay in power forever.
27 January 2006 Friday
No entry
28 January 2006 Saturday
Wintry day. Been cold and
overcast bleak and dreary but no snow so far.
This morning was a beautiful rosy sunrise. What is the saying? Red Sky
in the morning Sailor take warning, Red Sky at night sailor delight? Been a lot
of strep and flu at school last week and for the past few days have been
feeling run down with a scratchy throat. Occupational hazard of teaching school. Met a man over the
internet, living here in Salt Lake City now but who was from New York City who
remembers the Stonewall Inn in 1969. I want to interview him. Did my Federal
and Utah taxes already. Should get my returns in about ten days, Yeah! Today is
the 20th anniversary of the Challenger Space Shuttle disaster!
29 January 2006 Sunday
I encountered a long lost friend
at the Rosepark Smith's. Mike Howard! Amazing! I had just been writing about
him in my memoirs from 1986 and boom, he appeared out of no where! Interesting
Karma going on.
30 January 2006
No entry
31 January 2006 Tuesday
Coretta Scott King, the widow of
Martin Luther King Jr. died today. In January 1986 I went up to the
FEBRUARY
1 February 2006 Wednesday
Haven't written in this journal
in a while. My poor female schnauzer was so sick for a while I was afraid we
were going to lose her. Mike bought some Similac Baby formula and that was the
trick for getting her well. I had parent teachers conferences from Jan 23rd
through the 27th and caught a head cold almost immediately from it. That laid
me low for about the rest of the month. Did get my classroom size reduced from
36 to 27 and that is a great thing. We were finally allowed to have a 5th grade
split.
Got my taxes
done early for both the state and federal. Will get back around 2500 dollars.
My cousin
Stephanie and I have planned for a family reunion in Las Vegas over Memorial
Day. Will be sending out invites soon. Mom said that Dennis' job is transferring
him to Vegas so he will have a job when he and Charline get there.
The weather has
been really mild. Rain in the valley and snow in the mountains. On the 21st of
January Mike and I went and saw Love Valor and Compassion at the Rose Wagner
Theater. Eric Tierney, one of the actors, and a writer for the Metro died the
following Monday on the 23rd from Hepatitis. That was sad to hear.
On the 29th of January I encountered Mike
Howard at the Rose Park Smith's Food Store. That was shocking and surprising. I
had just been writing about him on my Blog about memoirs from 1986! I had
bought VIP passes for Mike and I for the SL Metro Film Festival for the week of
January but I was too sick to go out. On Wednesday the 1st I finally go to go
to one of the showings. Mike was too tired so I went by myself. I saw Tim
Keller and Courtney Moser as well as Mark Swonson, Tom, and Jim Hunsaker! The
film I stayed for was a series of shorts. The one on Faeries was my absolute
favorite.
2 February 2006 Thursday
Ground Hog Day After work Mike
and I went to Brewvies for the Gay and Lesbian Film Festival and saw Spring
Storm, and FAQS. Spring Storm was German and my favorite of the two. We got a
copy of Gay Sex in the 70's from Tim Keller to see since we missed it last
Tuesday. He said he just needed it back by Friday. Chuck Whyte was at the
screening tonight along with Tom Folk. Wasn't as many people tonight as there
were yesterday but then a lot of the Bears came yesterday for some of the
shorts that was sponsored by the Bear Club.
3 February 2006
Friday
Al Lewis, a longtime political
activist best known for his television role as Grandpa Munster on "The
Munsters" sitcom, died on Feb. 3 after years of failing health. He was 95.
4 February 2006 Saturday
My computer crashed this morning
so after fixing Mike and I some French toast he worked on my computer while I
cleaned house and went grocery shopping. At Food Savers this Mexican called me
fag because I said excuse me when he was hanging all over my grocery cart that
I had left unattended. First time I have been called that in years and it made
me want to hit him but what can you do? After coming back home and unloading
the groceries, Randy and Kimberley came over to visit and help work on my
computer. I was fixing tacos when there was a knock on the door and it was
Darren Solomon! I hadn't seen Darren in probably three years! It was so good to
see him- he still turns me on to no end but just introduced him to Randy and
Kim and fixed everyone a plate. Darren didn't want to eat. I knew he wanted to
be alone with me but it wasn't as if we could just slip away and make out. That
would be too rude. Anyway my heart went pitter patter with Darren and after he
left Mike, Randy, and Kim went to the wine store to buy some more vino. I had a date at 6 o'clock to meet with Joe
Stonewall. I have no idea what his last name is so I call him Stonewall because
he was at the Stonewall Riots in 1969. We met at Village Inn on 47th South and
Redwood and had coffee. He was really fascinating and we kind of poured out our
lives to each other- we were connecting in so many ways. He studied for the
Catholic Priesthood, became a Druid High Priest, was into Gardian Wicca, and
became a Mormon Bishop. Before I knew it we had talked until 7:30! I had to
leave because I thought Mike and I were going to the 8:00 show but a huge snow
blizzard blew in. Joe thought I was really cute and was making me blush. I
kissed him the parking lot then headed home. Mike was to drunk to go out and Randy
and Kim were still over at the house relaxing and feeling mellow. I white
knuckled it home in the snow and thank Providence I made it without crashing. Speaking
of crashing Randy was too drunk to go home and went to sleep on the futon.
Kimberly said she thinks Mike was jealous of Darren Coming over to see me. I
said I don't think so. It was a really special 20th anniversary of my coming
out of the closet, and Candlemas Sabot. Kim wanted to show Kayla my Faerie Book
of Shadows because she is all into charms and magick. I came out of the closet
20 years ago today! And its seems as Karma is bringing to me people I have not
seen in a very long time. The universe keeps on turning. What does that
mean? Too esoteric even for me. I was called a fag to day. First time in years.
It still wounds.
5 February 2006 Sunday
No entry
6 February 2006 Monday
Cousin John died today. I was in
the shower this morning when my mom called and said that my cousin John died at
his parent’s home in Lubbock. Mom said that J.W. called her but didn't have
time to talk because the medical people were on their way. He told her that he
was sitting in a chair and complaining of not feeling well and then said that
he couldn't swallow and then he passed away. As sad as this is what a blessing
to die at home surrounded by his loved ones rather out on the road. He was a
truck driver for the past ten years or more. Mom had just talked to John last
week so she's doubly upset. John called mom on a regular basis when ever he was
on the road and traveling through. Poor John was a heart attack waiting to
happen. He had smoked for years and weighed I know well over 300 pounds
probably for much of his adult life. Being a truck driver I imagine he didn't
eat the best either or get much exercise. I really never got to know John as
well as my cousin Kay. He was six years older then me and had already married
and left home by the time I was going back to
7 February 2006-12 February 2006
No entries
13 February 2006 Monday
Been whiling away the time
looking up songs from the early 1960's. I am in a 1960's girl group mood. Other then that time is jut slipping by.
14 February 2006-16 February 2006
No entries
17 February 2006 Friday
Hell of a snow storm Wednesday
and Thursday. Finally got to use my snowblower. Reminds me of an old joke- What
do you call a Gay eskimo? A snow blower! What do you call a Lesbian eskimo? a
18 February 2006 Saturday
I am so excited! I bought a full
size mattress after sleeping on a twin for two years! What was I thinking? Well
actually I was thinking a twin would give me more room but with two schnauzers
and a dachshund mix, all who like to pile on my bed when Mike is away, it
didn't make sense. I often ended up on the floor so the pups could have the
bed. Anyway now I feel so luxurious spreading out. Doesn't take much to
make a middle aged man happy.
19 February 2006 Sunday
Mike and I went out on this cold,
cold wintry day to go to the movies. We finally saw "Capote". Phillip Seymour Hoffman was fantastic and it
really brought back the feel of the early sixties for me. I read "In Cold
Blood" in High School. Everyone did. I only read it once and it was really
disturbing and riveting. I never read it again. Okay for the obvious comparison between Capote
and Brokeback Mountain. While I think Hoffman's performance was incredible I
still say Ledger's performance is more memorable. Both performances are phenomenal,
however. The movie Capote is excellent
but it did not move me as did
20 February 2006 Monday
President's Day-Both Mike and I
had the day off from work. Yay for all the dead presidents except for Ronald
Reagan, and Richard Nixon. They can rot in hell. Mike Aaron called me today to
say that he had resigned from the Salt Lake Metro for personal and financial
reasons and is going to start a new paper called QSalt Lake. He asked if I
would still write a column. I said sure.
Mike's been a rock solid long time activist in this community. I fixed a
pot roast, carrots, and mashed potatoes for dinner. It was one of those cold
eat a hot meal wintry day. It’s been
snowing off and on since last Wednesday. Mean People Suck ergo Utah Republicans
Suck.
21 February 2006 Tuesday
No entry
22 February 2006 Wednesday
The Golden Mosque was blown up in
23 February 2006
No entry
24 February 2006 Friday
Read sad news in the Salt Lake
Tribune. Sara Hamblin passed away Tuesday the 21st of February 2006. She was a remarkable woman and life partner
of Kathy Worthington. Together they were
Gay activists who are real heroes to me. Yesterday the husband of one of the
teachers at my school committed suicide by shooting himself. I wonder what stresses led him to leave five
children behind? My little Saffy has
been so sick and has lost so much weight. Bought her some baby food today to
help keep her strength up. She may only
be a dog to some but she holds a very special place on my heart. I just keep
her in my lap and let her feel my hand on her.
Her little eyes looking up at me tells me she is comforted by my simply
petting her. Life is so fragile. I wonder why we are so mean to each at times?
Scott McCoy and Jackie Biskupski have been lone prophets crying in the
wilderness up on Capitol Hill. Let the
Bigots have their little victories, because the tide of Gay Love will
eventually wash them away. I may never live
to see it but this I do believe that no power can stop love. It cannot be
vanquished by hate only temporarily diminished. Love is stronger than hate.
Love can break a heart. Hate never can. Sara
Hamblin life partner of Kathy Worthington finally succumbed to her battle with
cancer on February 21. She was a native of Kanab and I wonder if she did not
get cancer from being exposed to radiation in the 1950's from
- Email:
from Kathy Worthington-Thank you, Ben, and thanks for the lovely card that
you sent while Sara was ill. It
meant a lot to Sara to see all the cards she had gotten. Somehow she'd always thought that she hadn't
made an impact on anyone's lives and that hardly anyone would even notice
she was gone. Be sure to check out the obituary page again today. I wish Sara could see what they
did. And, by the way, I didn't pay
for them to run the obit today, that was the Tribune's decision. I paid for yesterday and for Sunday.
Thanks again for being so thoughtful.
I miss my Sara SO much. Kathy
Don Knotts, the
saucer-eyed, scarecrow-thin comic actor best known for his roles as the
high-strung, small-town deputy Barney Fife on the 1960s CBS series "The
Andy Griffith Show" and the leisure-suit-clad landlord Ralph Furley on
ABC's '70s sitcom "Three's Company," died on Feb. 24. He was 81.
Actor Dennis
Weaver, Feb. 24 Actor Dennis Weaver, the slow-witted deputy Chester Goode in
the TV classic western "Gunsmoke" and the New Mexico deputy solving
New York crime in "McCloud," died on Feb. 24. He was 81
25 February 2006 Saturday
Actor Darren McGavin, the husky,
tough-talking actor who starred in the TV series "Mike Hammer,"
played a grouchy dad in the holiday classic "A Christmas Story" and
had other strong roles in such films as "The Man with the Golden Arm"
and "The Natural," died on Feb. 25. He was 83.
26 February 2006 Sunday
Miss Saffy is slowly wasting
away. You can see her ribs where you couldn't before. She is still eating and
will move about but I can see that it is tiring her out.
Yesterday I bought different
kinds of baby foods with meat in them and I am still giving her Similac. She
has a little sore on her head and thigh that smokey has been keeping clean
although I have put some peroxide and Bactine on it. I know if she doesn't perk
up we will have to put her down. She doesn't seem to be suffering or in pain
but just wasting away. I bottle feed her water and Similac. The thought of
putting her down makes me so teary eyed. I saw Sara Hamblin's obituary in the paper
this morning and a woman from work called about the viewing tonight of the
teacher's who husband shot himself. I won't be going. It’s a warm day today
over 50 degrees. Yesterday I went grocery shopping and made cabbage rolls by
grinding my own meat. Mike and I had planned on going to see Tab Hunter at his
book signing at the Murray's Borders Bookstore but Randy and Kimberly wanted to
come over for the evening. Randy was hard at work trimming the Globe Willow
that's between our property and Kimberly wanted to get away from the girl's
slumber party. We had cabbage rolls, a salad, Baci bread and a strawberry
Yogurt Pie for dinner. I fixed myself a Fuzzy Navel while the rest had wine
with their dinner. It was a relaxing evening just visiting about what's going
on in our lives. Both Kimberly and Randy were shocked how much weight Saffy had
lost. Mike is having a devil of a time figuring out his taxes this year. I did
mine with Turbo Tax back in January but Mike didn't want to have to pay to have
it done because he doesn't get that much back. I have some sores inside my
mouth. Been gargling and flossing better.
27 February 2006-28
February 2006
No entries
MARCH
1 March 2006 Wednesday
Beautiful 1st of March. Yesterday
was blustery and rainy but today the glorious sun is out. Saffy has rallied some today but I think we
will see a series of rallies with a series of declines. I bought Saffy a roasted chicken breast and
she seemed to get that down okay. I fixed cheeseburgers for Mike and I for
supper. Yum. Yesterday Mike bought Lady
and the Tramp on DVD. It's his favorite Walt Disney animation. He was released
the year he was born. The digital remastering is excellent on it. The Giles bought
us a wine cooler that is suppose to keep wine properly chilled at 55 degrees.
They said it was an early birthday present for the both of us but guess who
drinks all the wine? I will give you a hint. It's not me. Thank Providence that
the Utah State Legislative Loonies are about finished up on Capital Hill. If
they are actually representatives of Utahns then most Utahns are really mean
spirited narrow minded cheap bastards. Saw
a woman with a smudge on her forehead and then Mike pointed out that its Ash
Wednesday. Jesus must be laughing his ass off over what people do in his name.
2 March 2006 Thursday
A long ago friend named Steve Brackenbury
contacted me by email today. He moved away from
·
I wrote my cousin Kay Johnson: “I am so sorry about John's
passing. I know it must have been a terrible shock but in many ways what a
blessing to be home with your mom and dad and not out on the road. I am
grateful that Dad passed away the way he did, quickly without suffering and
without long bouts in the hospital or nursing home. Mom wants to talk to you if she hasn't yet.
Send me your telephone number and I will send it to her. She doesn't have
email. On the Johnson-Fenter yahoo site I have posted family histories and am
posting pictures I have on the Johnsons. Just click on Photos and I have a John
Johnson file. I have that picture of all of us. My how we have changed. I am
nearly bald with a gray beard! love and keep in touch. Jr. PS should I just add
you to the family site? Kay responded: Hi Jr., Mom said you did not have my
current e-mail address. This is a
picture Chris sent us, it was in Big John's collection. Kay
3 March 2006 Friday
No entry
4 March 2006 Saturday
Woke up to snow on the ground but
it dissipated quickly and turned into a rather nice day. Saffy was listless this morning but after we
gave her a bath she perked right up. See what a makeover will do? Had a weird
thing happen when Mike and I went to Sutherlands to replace a shower faucet.
When I used my credit union's credit card the teller said that my card was on a
list of cards that had been compromise or something like that and she kept it.
I had her cut it up in front of me but I can't get a hold of my credit union
until Monday. If indeed my card is one
of those that had a security breach it would have been nice to be noticed
before having it confiscated. Tom Folks came over to see Mike's home theater
and to watch a movie called Regarding Billy. It had all the making of a Gay
Hallmark Movie or a Gay Lifetime Movie. It had a cast of only three men and a
story line including dead parents, a mentally challenged brother, an unspoken
love for a best friend who after being discharged from the army is going
blind. It almost seemed like a Mormon
after school special, no cussing, nudity, just cockle warming.
5 March 2006 Sunday
And yet another disappointing Oscar Night. Crash instead of
7 March 2006 Tuesday
Tim Keller wrote: Hi Ben, If you
recall, last year I contacted you on behalf of the Utah State University Pride!
8 March 2006-9 March 2006
No entries
10 March 2006 Friday
Blizzard of 2006 was yesterday.
Like most of the men in my life it blew in and blew out. Today Davis County was
backed up for miles because people in this state can't drive without a cell
phone attached to their ear. Been watching movies lately. Finally saw Harry
Potter and the Goblet of Fire. Why did they have to film it so dark? It was
stripped of all the color that added to the feel of magick in the earlier
movies. And the cast was so out of character. Dumbledore shouts and barks at
Harry, Weesley acts all pissy for no real reason, and students are almost
drowned for no other reason then to be rescued.
Fire the director. No wonder the film didn't so as well as the others. I
saw Jarhead featuring Jake Gyllenhaal. It was not as intense as Full Mental
Jacket but did have its visual moments like when the sky was a blazed with oil
wells on fire and an Arabian horse covered in the oil muck seeks out the Gyllenhaal
character for help. I doubt whether the
butt shot of Gyllenhaal screwing his girl is his. Probably a body double since
no face shot is shown. A reporter from the Salt Lake City Weekly called me last
night seeking information on Gay newspapers in Utah. We talked over the phone
for nearly two hours. He's doing an article on Michael Aaron and the
SLMetro/QSL controversy. He was amazed when I told him that there has been an
on going publication in the community for over 30 years with only a lapse of a
few months.
11 March 2006 Saturday
No entry
12 March 2006 Sunday
My sweet little schnauzer Saffy
passed away this evening with Mike and I holding her. She had such a good day.
Snuggled in her pink blanket against a snowy day. She ate heartily even dog biscuits which she
had not been able to tolerate. Mike took her for a ride with the others pups
and she barked at the cows and horses. She had a good supper, ate half a can of
dog food and some roast beef. About 6:30 pm Mike called for me to come quick.
There Saffy was having a stroke as she flopped out of her doggy bed. We placed
her back in it and we just stroked her petted her and loved her until she had a
last convulsion. We will take her down tomorrow and have her cremated. Her
brother Smokey just lies by her with his head resting on her little belly. She may have been just a dog but she was full
of love and kisses and our hearts our full of sorrow right now.
13 March 2006 Monday
Wept much of the night. We had to put Saffy in the garage because her
brother Smokey kept trying to wake her. He would nuzzle her; pull her pink
blanket off, scratch at her doggy bed. He would cry and make the most pitiful
sounds. When we placed her in the car,
Smokey was so distraught searching through out the house for his sister. It was
breaking our heart to see him so beside himself. He had been so attentive of
her, rarely leaving her side all through her decline. This morning we took
Saffy wrapped in her baby blanket and her warm blanket and carried her into the
vet in her doggy bed. We picked out a wooden box to put her cremains in and we
will be able to bring her home in about a week.
I went on to work hoping I wouldn't be bawling there. We spent so much
of our energy on keeping Saffy comfortable and seeing that she ate that I
almost feel lost or neglectful now. I
miss her sweet self so much and it breaks my heart to see Smokey moping and
sad. We got rid of all the baby food and
bottles that we had bought for Saffy. It
may seem idiotic to carry on over such a sweet creature but for Mike and me,
she was our little baby companion for nine years. The house seems emptier.
Actress Maureen
Stapleton, , the Oscar-winning character actress whose subtle vulnerability and
down-to-earth toughness earned her dramatic and comedic roles on stage, screen,
and television, died on March 13. She was 80.
14 March 2006 Tuesday
No entry
15 March 2006 Wednesday
What a morning. Mike had to be at
work earlier then usual and since it was beginning to snow pretty hard I left
the house at 7:30. I don't have to be at work until 8:10 and since my school is
only about 5 miles away I thought I was being extra cautious. However by the
time I got just to
·
Email from Tim Keller- Hi Ben, Sorry we haven’t
connected this week. You're as hard to reach as I am. Anyway, here is the retreat schedule. You are
welcome to attend all or just the part you're presenting. Which will be
Saturday from 5PM to 730 P. Gay Identity and Getting Involved: What being gay
means to us, helping hands, where we came from and where we're going and why it
matters. Friday March 31 4 PM till 6 PM Check In 6 PM till 7:30 PM Dinner and
Icebreaker 7:30 PM till 9:30 PM Sexuality and Safe Sex with Courtney and Tim 9:30
PM On Free Time Saturday April 1 9 AM till 10:30 AM Yoga with John 10:30 AM till 11:30 Breakfast and Physical Fitness Talk 11:30 AM
till 1 PM Self Defense with Tim 1 PM till 2 PM Lunch 2 PM till 3 PM Safety
Discussion 5 PM till 7:30 PM Getting
involved (Political and the Gay Identity) with Ben Williams 7:30 PM till 8:30
PM Dinner 8:30 PM on Free Time Sunday April 2 9 AM till 10 AM Breakfast 10 AM
till 11:30 AM Relationships 11:30 AM till 1 PM Closing Wrap up with Tom Prices: $20 Students $25 Non-Students $5 Discount if RSVP'd by Monday
16 March 2006 Thursday
Email- To Tim Keller: will try
and call you tonight. It’s been a rough
week. One of my schnauzers Mike and I have had for nine years died last Sunday
and we are having to deal with that and her brother who is mourning terribly
for her and yesterday I was stuck on the freeway for an hour in a blizzard
because two semi's had slid off the road.-Ben
Reply from Tim-Hi Ben, I was
sorry to hear about your difficulties. The news said you guys got hit much
harder than us by the storm. Also about the loss of your pet. I love dogs and
know how hard it is to lose one. It's
probably best if I try you tonight as I will be out and about preparing retreat
things and for a weekend road trip South.
I wrote "Joe Stonewall"
Joe I hope you don't think I have forgotten you. We have had a sick Schnauzer for the past
couple of months. She finally died last
Sunday with Mike and I holding her so all my attention for sometime was in
keeping her comfortable and eating. We had her for 9 years and she left a
brother behind who is very distraught. I
hope you understand and when things settle down we can go out for coffee again
or come over for dinner or a movie. Hope all is well with you. Ben
17 March 2006-18 March 2006
No Entry
19 March 2006 Sunday
It’s been a week since our Saffy
died. A long hard week. Hopefully her cremains will be ready to come home
tomorrow. Rain, sleet, and snow all day.
Kind of like last week. A woman I work
with, Sharla Haney, called me Friday and said that her niece said that her Schnauzers
just had puppies. While Michael is not
sure if he is ready to have more then two dogs again, after pondering it, I
know that I am. I want another female
for company for Smokey. He's so
lonesome. Our Priscilla really is not any company for him. The pups won’t be ready for eight weeks and
by then I am sure I will be ready to take on the responsibility of raising
another schnauzer. Fixed Corned Beef and Cabbage for supper and watched The
Great Raid, a true story of the liberation of an American POW camp in
Manila. It was really good but made you
want to bomb
20 March 2006 Monday
First day of Spring and its been
snowing and raining all day. Mike took the day off so he got to stay home with
Smokey. It was Quality Teaching Day at
school so no kids, just meetings. Didn't get a whole lot accomplished. The
puppies are about a week old and are being sold for $300. That's a good price
for a Schnauzer. Mike goes back and
forth on whether he wants a boy for himself. I told him I am getting a little
girl no matter what. Talked about painting the family room for the projector
screen. It’s been ten years ago since
the house was excavated to build its foundation. Today is my parents' 60th Anniversary and
Mike's brother's birthday. I fixed hash out of the left over corned beef and
had eggs and biscuits for supper. Cooked Smokey some chicken. Spent the rest of the evening cleaning out
files on my hard drive.
21 March 2006 Tuesday
Rainy day but when it stopped the
valley was gorgeous. The big oil boys
are all in town staying at the Grand America courtesy of Earl Holding of
Sinclair. There were some protestors
there. Took the hounds for a ride downtown. Lots of dark suits and shiny
shoes. Spring is really in the air.
Crocuses are up, and other early Spring flowers. My forsythia is getting ready to pop. Been
posting my psychedelic erotica for the fun of it. The Simpsons have been
renewed to the year 2008! Go Homer! Chad Keller wrote me: saw your note on the
schnauzer puppies. I have been searching
for a little dog. Would your friend
consider me to love one of her pups? I
love how protective they are of you and mike.
Let me know I would really love something to come home too, that would
love me unconditionally!! CK I wrote back: The woman lives in Afton
22 March 2006 Wednesday
Tim Keller wrote: Hey Ben, I just
got back from Vegas and wanted to touch base with you. I noticed in your email you mentioned that
the 2nd was a go. I believe the date we have your track scheduled is the 1st. Please advise if this is a problem so can get
is switched. Also would you like to come up for the weekend? Or spend one of
the nights? You are welcome to do so .. I just need to know as we're planning
food and space. Tim I wrote to Tim Keller “April 1st is a go! Probably have dinner up there but will come
back home unless weather is nasty. Anything in particular you want me to
address so I can prepare for it? How was Vegas?
23 March 2006 Thursday
No entry
24 March 2006 Friday
Had a huge quarrel with Mike last
night over getting a new puppy. He
basically said I was too irresponsible to take care of a puppy. I blew a gasket
over that one and let him have it with both barrels. We are not speaking. So I am in a blue funk. Not over him but just
things in general. But I am getting a puppy and if he can't accept the fact
that I can make decisions without his approval then he will have to get over it
or move on. My principal asked if I'd take a student teacher next year so I
guess she is happy with my performance there. Need to get out into the back yard and clean
up all the branches dropped during the winter from the globe willows and my
other trees. Tim Keller asked me to speak on April 1st in Logan as part of his
Gay and Lesbian Conference.
25 March 2006 Saturday
No entry
26 March 2006 Sunday
Mike and are still giving each
other the silent treatment. The weather
has been blustery. Winds blew like a bitch yesterday today there was snow on
the ground and now its blue skies and clouds.
All the globe willows have popped and the forsythias are popping their
butter yellowy blossoms. Went to the doctors Friday afternoon for a check up.
Nothing to worry about. Tom Folks came over that night to watch a movie with
Mike. I stayed in my room down stairs and watched TV in my bedroom. I watched
the last episodes of Queer as Folk from Season Four. I am not as excited about
the soap opera as I used to be. I watched the first 3 episodes of the fourth
season of OZ the prison HBO series. More
murders and less male sex. But still intense. I wrote an article for QSL hastily on
Blogging. Didn't have much time to
really think about it much. When you are
quarreling with someone you care about, everything else seems to take second
place. My friends Darrin and Merrill lost their great Dane Smokey about a week
ago. She was 9 so that is old for a Dane. I went over to see them today and
brought a big teddy bear. I was surprised that they had already gone and got
themselves a black lab puppy. He is so cute.
Makes me realize I will be ready to start raising another puppy in May.
Chuck Whyte is having his Chili cook off at the Try-Angles. I thought about
going to get out of the house but I am still in the blahs.
27 March 2006 Monday
Picked up Saffy's cremains today.
She's in a sweet little cedar box with her name on it and a place to put a
picture. I am happy that she's home
again where she belongs next to Oscar. Students at the Northwest Middle School
in our neighborhood protested the proposed immigration bill. Almost the entire
student body walked out.
28 March 2006 Tuesday
Email from Chad Keller-What is it
with KRCL--Do they hate the word Gay--The trib has another of there Neuvo-Gay
Boys who is removing labels through the word queer---which is a catch all for
everyone on the fringes of society--his definition not mine. We have failed I
fear by allowing the alpha lesbians to brain wash our young men...sad very
sad...Then of course the SLTRIB runs to Jane Marquardt for a response...yecko
Oh fucking well....My reply-Have you heard the program? I am at work and won't
be able to listen for a while. This
weekend Tim Keller has asked me to speak at their Gay Pride Alliance at
29 March 2006 Wednesday
No entry
30 March 2006 Thursday
Very long day yesterday at work
with more conferences. It rained for most of the day. Still not sure what to do about Michael. Mom wants me to come down to Vegas for Easter
Break. I probably will to get away from
the tension here. My sister Charline
should be there by then and I haven't seen for over a year. Went out and picked
up a copy of the SLMetro and the QSalt Lake papers at the Trapp. I was surprised to see that the Metro was
still publishing. Everything in it was about the "Most Fabulous" in
31 March 2006 Friday
Chuck Whyte called me from the
emergency room last night. He had not been feeling well and his friend Tom
Folks to him to a health clinic. After running a lot of blood work they found
that his blood sugars were sky high and so they gave him some insulin. He
probably going to be diagnose with diabetes.
I don't know whether they kept him over night or not. My mom called from
Vegas saying that my sister and her husband are supposedly on their way but she
hasn't heard from them and Charline has her cell phone turned off. I told her that I would be down in Vegas for
my birthday this year and I will take my dog Priscilla with me. Saw on the news
about 200 high school students walked from the West Valley to the state capitol
to protest immigration reform laws. I would have been more impressed if I saw
any American flags in the group but they were only waving Mexican flags. Do
they want to be Mexicans or Americans?
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