Fall Fourth Quater Journal 1991 October - December

 OCTOBER

1 October 1991 Tuesday

At school today Dave Reed dropped by with some insurance forms and I thought my heart would break when I saw him. He’s lost so much weight, thinner than Billy Bikowski ever was and hobbling around with the help of his two young daughters. I couldn’t speak about his condition with my students here, but I wanted to cry. He was energetic and robust the last time I saw him in April and now the HIV virus is totally sapping his vitality and strength. I’ve tried to put a wall around my heart when it comes to AIDS. If I didn’t my heart would burst from being overwhelmed by the amount of loss, and by the smug hatred directed at towards us because of this disease as if we all deserved to die. After coming home from work, I ended up talking to John Bennett, a former chair of the community council , for about 45 minutes about the mess at the center. He was very supportive of me which was gratifying. That was like fresh water to my soul to hear someone saying I support you who is outside of the controversy, agreeing with my stance; to preserve the center as part of the council. He was ill with this awful crap that going around but he said he’d write a letter of support for my position and drop it off at the center for tonight’s meeting. I went to the center at 5:30 and typed up some more of the USC chronology from council minutes until Chuck Whyte called and needed a ride down to tonight’s meeting. I think Craig Miller was really surprised by the turn out for this meeting, with probably about twenty attending. Those there I can recall were Chuck Whyte, Garth Chamberlain, Bobbie Smith, Debbie Rosenberg, Todd Bertagnolli, Jimmy Hamamoto, Frank Lohmeyer, Michelle Davies, Melissa Sillitoe, Ola Robinson, Alice Drake, Marlin Criddle, Jeff Dykes, Cynthia Davis, Lisa Romano, Craig Miller, and some Social Worker woman. I’m sure there were others that I can’t recall right now. Conspicuously absent were Debra Burrington, Charlene Orchard, Brenda Voisard and Robert Austin.  Well the air got cleared somewhat today at the Stonewall Center and Craig and his cohorts are now aware of where the battle lines are drawn. People crowded into the center wanting to know what was going on there and  why I was fired. I know Craig was stunned to see so many upset people and thought it was an idle threat when I said that he would have to answer for the arbitrarily dismissing of me. I don’t know what will happen now but at least Craig knows that I was not just speaking for myself when wanting some kind of accountability for decisions made at “our” community center. I am sure he and the other members of the Advisory Panel felt overwhelmed by how many people showed up tonight. Speaking of battle lines, Gay and Lesbian people have declared war on Governor Pete Wilson’s administration for caving in to the radical rigorous fringe right of the Republican Party. Queer Nation is rioting in the streets in California and Gay professional organizations are threatening to “out” all the closet cases in Wilson’s administration. 

Additional Material

·         The Gay and Lesbian Student Association of Salt Lake Community College organized. The campus group initially began in 1991 as a weekly social organization to help people in transition.

 

2 October 1991 Wednesday

I took the van into work today because of my computer in-service class I’m taking at 4 and doesn’t get over until six. I am getting really worn down from all this fussing about the center. I stayed home this evening and paid bills, almost $750 worth. Todd Bennett came over to visit a little.  He was blue over is break up with Kevin Warren. I went to bed by 9:30.

 

3 October 1991 Thursday

I took the bus back to work and had a note in my faculty box from Stanger to come see him about a Judy Blume book I’m reading to my class. The only book of hers I am reading is "Blubber", so I couldn’t figure out what the hell he wanted until  saw the book that Unger had given him. It’s one specifically meant for Junior High students about masturbation. Unger the dumb shit was reading it to his class and then stumbled on to the “good parts”. I guess he is on an anti-Judy Blume kick now, and I told Stanger that I had read that book in a Children’s Literature Class at Weber State and I never thought it was particularly suitable for elementary students and said I couldn’t understand why Unger would have read it to his class. On the other hand Blubber is about peer pressure bullying in Elementary school. Anyway, except for it being a tiresome day it wasn’t too eventful. I talked to Alice Drake from the Bridge Magazine when I got home about Craig Miller’s assertions that it was never the Utah Stonewall Center’s intentions to form a separate organization. Yeah right. What a liar. Alice said she is really confused about the whole matter. Join the crowd. I went down to the center at six o’clock. There Bobbie Smith said there was a note on the door from Craig saying that the center would not be opened until 6:30. That I suppose, is his way of dealing with volunteers not showing, simply shut the doors. If he had the time to come down and write a not why didn’t he stay? Far be it for him to stay and staff it. I didn’t go to Unconditional Support tonight, although it sounded like people had fun there. I guess they are planning a Halloween Party, I came home at nine and visited with Garth Chamberlain, Brett Marshall, and John Bennett who came over to talk about troubles at the center. We crowded on Frank Lohmeyer’s balcony. I’m really disgusted with Michael Aaron. He wants to male a motion tomorrow not to discuss the Utah Stonewall Center’s issues at council but rather save it until a Board of Trustee’s meeting on Sunday.  Anything to get a lick in at me.

 

4 October 1991 Friday

It was a disconcerting day because a payroll foul up and a day of reckoning at community council tonight. After coming home from work, I went to Professional Bank to open up a checking account under my name rather than the Delta Institute since I won’t be doing Beyond Stonewall anymore. There I got a big surprise when I found out that my payroll check had not been deposited! I tried calling payroll but they wouldn’t answer the phone being so late in the day. So I am going to have to wait the entire weekend to find out where my money is.  In the evening I took Chuck Whyte up to the Gay and Lesbian Community Council where we had one of our largest turn outs ever. There were over sixty people there crowded in the center. I am sure it was because of the flak surrounding my forced resignation. When Craig Miller gave his Stonewall Committee report, after saying how much was accomplished in the past year, he then began to vilify me, making me sound like I was some sort of anarchist and a trouble making jerk who can’t get along with anyone. He accused me of a list of offenses and it caused quite a flap. I was really upset with Mark Lawrence for not allowing me an opportunity to defend myself.  Michael Aaron, Dale Sorenson and Mark Lawrence, all who have had no involvement with the center, were the most adamant supporters of Craig Miller and opponents to me. Michael Aaron, the cheap shot son of a bitch, even cryptically brought up in the council that he had gotten a call on the AVP hotline from two individuals, which we all knew were Debra Burrington and Charlene Orchard who felt that their professional lives had been damaged by my attacks on them and he said that the community should be outraged at me. What the community should be outraged over is Michael Aaron using AVP to score points against me politically. Evidently Charlene Orchard and Debra Burrington acting like the victim claimed that I had left threatening messages on their answer machine. What a vicious lie and anyone who knows my character knows it’s a lie. If Charlene and Deb feel attacked than so do I. My character had just been maligned by Michael’s insinuations as he said theirs had been but they are liars. Michael Aaron, who is obviously partisan, has no credibility in my book at all. He’s just trying to get his jabs in at me from our old history when back in 1987 he and David Nelson were run out of town for their shenanigans at trying to manipulate the council in its infancy. I had a hand in stopping them. People who actually volunteer at the center like Melissa Sillitoe and Frank Lohmeyer and have known me for a long time were upset with Craig’s obvious lies and attempt at character assassination. I used to think Craig was not a liar but I know differently now. If they were so innocent why would they feel the need to lie? Craig called for a vote of confidence in his leadership or he’d quit. The most he got was a vote of authority to continue in his office until the next community council. A Board of Trustee meeting on October 14^th will try to wrestle with how much control does GLCCU has over its committees and what procedures for grievances should exist for those, who like me are arbitrarily forced out of a position. The bottom line is who is accountable to who? Craig Miller was devastated that he didn’t get the vote of confidence he was expecting but agreed to stay on as director for another month. However the council also voted that all of Craig’s decisions should stand until the Board of Trustees meeting, so I agreed to abide by that decision, even though Kevin Warren made a motion that I be reinstated on the Advisory Panel. That was a moot motion as I  agreed to step aside for the good of the center. As I always said I only wanted the decision to be a Gay and Lesbian Community Council matter and not an Advisory Board’s decision whether the center was to be a separate entity. Noticeably absent from this meeting were Charlene Orchard and Debra Burrington. It was a pretty intense meeting tonight I must say, and I feel like I was vindicated by the people who know my character but was slandered by people who didn’t and felt sorry for Charlene Orchard and Debra Burrington who were playing the poor little Lesbian victims attacked by a mean Gay man. When do Gay men get to play the victim card of mean Lesbians attacking them? After the council ended, nearly ten of us went to Village Inn for coffee. I had my Gay family supporting me and that’s all that really matters. I took a major hit to my reputation as a community activist tonight but it doesn’t matter if I saved the Stonewall Center for what it was untended to be. I was true to my charge.  Well I guess my time at the center is over but thank the Goddess so is Charlene Orchards.

 

5 October 1991 Saturday

I slept in today exhausted from yesterday’s bitch fight. I threw myself into cleaning my house to keep my mind occupied with other things than community politics and intrigue. I iron clothes for school, scrubbed the bathroom,, mopped floors, and went grocery shopping with Jimmy Hamamoto and Bobbie Smith using my van. I also called many of the faeries to tell them about what is going on tomorrow a nd just visit with faeries in general to see how everyone is doing. I called Randy Wangreen and made a date with him for tonight but he stood me up. I was really bummed, disappointed, and hurt as I really like him. I think it is however totally irresponsible and bastardly thing to do making people wait instead of calling and saying you can’t make it. Anyway, I’ll close the door on this fantasy. I do have a date with John Cook for Monday. I’m fixing him dinner. So I spent the evening alone, anticipating Randy coming over, but he never materialized without a word. Todd Bennett and Willy Marshall went out to The Sun for Conference Weekend because of all the closeted Mormons who come into town for General Conference. The LDS Church is bashing intellectuals this time instead of Gays for a change. Erick Meyers agreed to do the Candlemas Sabbat this year. So far Jimmy has agreed to do Samhain, Homo Erectus said he’d do Easter, Troy Lunt would be the Pillar for Beltane, and Harold Jones said he’s do Lammas. Yule, Midsummer Eve, and Mabon are still up for grabs. 

Additional Material

·         The Royal Court of The Golden Spike Empire held their Superstar Challenge  Awards Show at Club 108.

·         Diane L. Clark from to the SLTribune I have worked as a volunteer at the Utah  AIDS Foundation for the past two years. I am disheartened by the Senate's rejection ofthe amendment to move defense money into the Labor, Health and Human Services appropriations bill, but more than that, angered by the state's neglect to spend any money on  AIDS. This state still refuses to believe AIDS is a problem. I have witnessed a growth in clientele tenfold. I have seen Utah's sons and daughters come home to die and experienced the grief and embarrassment of their parents. Yet the state seems to believe that AIDS is preventable and, hence, victims should die without compassion, without medical care, without love. Utah is one of the only states that does not contribute to AIDS funding. Until we educate people, this disease will not be preventable. The largest growing percentage of AIDS patients is in adolescent heterosexual teen-agers and women.

 

6 October 1991 Sunday

Today was thrilling, tiring, strnge and exciting. This morning at eleven a bunch of us faeries drove up to Rockport Reservoir to harvest sage and cedar to make some smudge sticks. John “Dark Feather” Bundy, John “Griffin” Crapo, David “Thunderbeam” Ball, Todd “Homo Erectus” Bennett, Jimmy “Fuku” Hamamoto, Bobbie “Gillian” Smith, Debbie “Applestar” Rosenberg, Carla “Spirit Dancer” Gourdin, and Becky “Buffalo Spear Lance” Moss all went together. We were only there a couple of hours but the fall colors were spectacular. Dark Feather and Homo Erectus have already gotten together to set up a page maker program for the Faerie ‘Zine we are calling it Salt and Sage so I really think it really is going to happen. I watched Star Trek with Todd and Jimmy until six then I had to go get ready to go do a radio program for Concerning Gays and Lesbians, However, before leaving, I saw that Jeff Workman was over at Frank Lohmeyer’s and he asked me if I was serious about what I said to him last Friday at Village Inn whether he liked the direct approach or did he liked to be seduced. There he responded, the direct approach as he was so new. So I had said, “Do you want to fuck with me?” and he had said “sure”. I didn’t think he was serious because I was being light hearted until now. He said that yesterday he drove around block where I live, five times, because he wanted to see me but lost his nerve to come by. So while Frank Lohmeyer left his place to go make a phone call in my apartment, I went up to Jeff and we started kissing each other. So now what? We made a date for Wednesday since school will be out for the UEA break on Thursday.  I had to leave him to get down to KRCL by seven. Debbie brought the news from the Gay and Lesbian Community Councilas I was too involved in the proceedings to take very good notes. At eight we interviewed Becky Moorman and Alice Drake owners of the Bridge Magazine aboyt all their expansion plans. They are wanting to publish another bi monthly magazine called Bridging Out that would contain more news from the community. They are also going to open up a combination Gay and Lesbian Video, Bookstore, and coffee shop. That’s so cool. I saw Gary Boren down at KRCL but I was too tired and had a fierce headache for us to visit much. When I got home at nine, Frank and Jeff  said that Frank’s car had been stolen this evening. Gawd I hate that. I remember what a sick feeling it was when my car was stolen in 1988 while parked in front of the In-Between.

Additional Material

·         The Salt Lake Goodtime Bowling League started its 1991-1992 season.  Games held at Olphin Student Union Lanes at the U of U 

 

7 October 1991 Monday

The Honey Moon cycle began tonight. I took my van into work today to take care of some business in Farmington after school. So I left school early having to take a half day professional leave and drove up to the credit union where I found that payroll had deposited my check there. I pulled out $1,539 and closed my account so I could deposit the money in to Professional. They were so mean spirited about it.  I then went the District’s Payroll and had them change my direct deposit over to First Professional Bank. So at least that is taken care of.  At home I straightened up the place and fixed dinner for my date with John Cook. I made baked potatoes with sautéed mushrooms, onions, and sour cream, a lettuce and tomato salad, buttered biscuits, and an apple cobbler. John came over at seven and we watched some TV while I gave him a massage. While watching Murphy Brown and Designing Women, I went down on him and began sucking his cock and eating his taint. We became passionate and retired to the bedroom where we fucked and kissed and fucked and massaged and wrapped ourselves around each other. John is an artist who I could really fall for as I love creative people. I met him last spring at the Slip-Up’s Wizard of Oz show and have wanted to be with him ever since. I want to spend the entire night with him sometime.

 

8 October 1991 Tuesday

I am so glad it’s a short week. After work while getting off at my bus stop in downtown, I ran into Anthony, an old fuck buddy from this past summer. He wanted to come home with me. I thought why not? So we ended up fucking. This has been a nice way to begin the Honey Moon cycle having made love each day so far.  Anyway after Anthony left, Jimmy Hamamoto called and wanted to know if I had voted yet in the Mayoral primary race. I hadn’t so we went out to vote in our old districts because we hadn’t undated our voter registration yet  but we are still residents of the city. I had to go to the YMCA to vote. I voted for DeeDee Corendini.  I need to get my registration changed to my new address so I don’t have to drive clear across town to vote. After voting, Jimmy and I decided to go too the movies and went to the Crossroads Mall and saw “the Fisher King” with Jeff Bridges and Robin Williams in it.  What a powerful moving film. It pushed and touched me in a lot of ways I cant even begin to describe. Jeff Bridges was like Billy Bikowski and I was like his character’s lover, played by Mercedes Ruehl. It was painful to see their relationship parallel mine except that they ended up together in the end. Frank Lohmeyer got his van back today.  

 

9 October 1991 Wednesday

I don’t know how to begin this journal except to say I’m in love with Jeffrey Don Workman, born March 9^th 1965. I took my van into  work today because of the computer class I am taking. Afterwards I went of to Debbie Rosenberg and Carla Gourdin’s house to bind Sage smudge sticks for ritualistic purposes. The people over there for the first New Moon craft night were Bobbie “Gillian” Smith, Jimmy “Fuku” Hamamoto, Harold “Silver Fox” Jones, John “Dark Feather” Bundy, Todd “Homo Erectus” Bennett, David “Thunderbeam Moonfire” Ball, Frank “Hooter”, and myself with my new boyfriend Jeff Workman as well as Spirit Dancer and Applestar who were the only womyn there. We stayed until nine and we also conducted some business about our next craft activity in November. We decided to make cloth herbal and spice sachets and clay goddess symbols in December. Dark Feather and Homo Erectus asked for ideals and content for the Faerie ‘Zine. It was an amazing our first craft night, although the Sage pollen is really doing a number on my sinuses.  After leaving Spirit Dancer’s place, we mehn all headed back to Hooter’s porch where we laughed and carried on until eleven thirty. When Jeff and I went back to my place he spent the night and made love all night long. He’s so sweet and incredible and has a “magic wand” enchants me and fills me with magick.

 

10 October 1991 Thursday

Jeff Workman and I made love all night long and we got little if any sleep. In the morning I woke up with someone I realized is a going to be a very important part of my life. It happened so fast that I don’t have much time to think about it. He had never fucked before and he was like an animal, raw and passionate and could not get enough of me. He must have fucked me four times during the night. When he wasn’t fucking me he just cuddled me and sheathed his cock inside me. Reluctantly he had to go meet this woman he had promised to go look at apartments with and he also had other obligations so I spent much of my time trying to clean house and cat napping. I was really worn out but happy.  Jeff went with me down to Unconditional Support at the center but afterwards went with Jimmy Hamamoto and I to see Mark C Jackman perform at the Hardware House on North Temple.  His music was bizarre and industrial but I liked it, as did Jeff. I founded out today that Jeff's a former Peace Corpsman who went to Belize in Central America. He teaches 2^nd Grade in Midvale so Jimmy, he and I are all elementary school teachers although Jimmy teaches Special Education rather than being a classroom teacher. Jeff and I went to bed at 10:30 and we screwed all night long again. I hunger for him and I can’t believe that he really, really loves me. I never thought someone would after Fran. Mark Lawrence called me tonight and interrogated me; asking me very insulting questions like if I had ever threatened Charlene Orchard and Debra Burrington. I was so offended by his non objective, bias attitude towards me like he had already decided to believe them over me that I finally just hung up on him. I was so angry I told him to not ever call me again.

 Additional Material

·         Skozey Fetisch is the sound art/experimental music project of Mark C. Jackman. Although Mark C. was born in Salt Lake City, Utah the project really began when he relocated to San Francisco in 1988. The first Skozey Fetisch recordings were executed in San Francisco's Haight/Ashbury district in 1989. Mark C. pre-skozey experimental work began while scoring the experimental independent films of Andrew Langton, which in turn led to the composition of scores for the Ririe-Woodbury Dance Company while studying Experimental/Electronic Music under Dr. Vladimir Ussachevsky and Tracy Peterson at the University of Utah. In 2014 Mark C. returned to live in the Salt Lake City, Utah area.

 

11 October 1991 Friday

It’s only getting better between Jeff Workman and me. He had to go to a Utah Education Association class on the “holistic” approach to teach reading so I didn’t see him for much of the day until 7:30. He works a part time job at Stratford, a group home for mildly retarded adults also. The Bridge Magazine came out today with quotes regarding Craig Miller's vision of the Utah Stonewall Center being a separate organization. So who’s the liar now? They also printed my letter to the editor about what was going on down there; so at least I feel vindicated even if I wasn’t allowed to defend myself at community council. I told Brenda Voisard, yesterday, after Mark Lawrence was being such a prick to me, that I am not going back to the center in any capacity now. It’s just not fun anymore. Todd Bennett said he asked the Goddess to send me someone and here comes along Jeff.  I’m so grateful for Jeff and I am going to call him “Morningstar” as he lights up all the dark places around me. I read Gary Boren’s medicine cards today. There are Elk, Turkey, Owl, Butterfly, Lynx, Porcupine, Bear, Dog, and Horse. His main totem is the Lynx, the keeper of secrets, guardian and guide.  His faerie name is Gary-Bo. He said that I am really missed at the center but understands why I am not going back. In the evening I had a house full of people returning from National Coming Out Day and a reception at the center. I was not in the least interested. Jeff spent the night again. How am I going to sleep alone again now?

Additional Material

·         The 4th National Coming Out Day was observed at the Utah Stonewall Center.  The Center hosted a reception. “It’s more of an excuse to get together and make people aware of our location and facilities and the programs we offer, “said Craig Miller, chairman of the Utah Stonewall Center. The four-month-old Center is a project of the Gay and Lesbian Community Council of Utah which coordinates information among 35-to-50 gay and lesbian groups in Salt Lake City, Mr. Miller said.   The symbolic name of Stonewall stems from a riot at a gay bar by the same name in New York in 1969. The riot is regarded as the first real expression of gay pride, explained Robert Austin of the Utah AIDS Foundation. “There was a long history of police going into bars and arresting everybody just because they were gay and lesbian,'' Mr. Austin said. ``But on June 29, 1969, at Stonewall, people said enough was enough.''   When police arrived, patrons held their ground, refusing to leave. The rebellion continued for several days, with gay people standing up and refusing to be discriminated against, Mr. Austin said.  Locally, Stonewall is a source of support, strength and information to the gay and lesbian community, Mr. Miller said. ``It is an important link in the gay community's network as well as a beacon to individuals just becoming aware of their sexual orientation,'' he explained. Services include a telephone line that refers callers to dentists and doctors who understand gay and lesbian issues; to businesses that are sensitive to the gay community, and advice on restaurants to people passing through town, Mr. Miller said. It also serves as a meeting place for approximately 35 organizations in the local gay community and has the largest collection of gay and lesbian books in the state, he added. Stonewall also has a grant from the Salt Lake City Arts Council to provide a four-part literary arts series that begins Nov. 2 at 7 p.m. with a poetry reading. (SLTribune pg C3 10/10/91) 

·         Nearly three dozen Gay rights advocates hoisting placards and a Rainbow Coalition flag, marched at the Federal Building in downtown Salt Lake City Friday evening to commemorate National Coming Out Day.  “We’re  here. We’re queer. We’re fabulous. Get used to us,” they chanted as home-bound commuters looked on.  Members of Queer Nation and other groups, organized by the GLCCU marched peacefully for 90 minutes around the fountain at the Wallace F. Bennett Federal Building.  Carrying a placard stating “I love Queer Girls”, Toni Palmer said she was marching to make Salt Lake residents aware that Gays and Lesbians live in their community. (SLTribune 10/12/91 B4)

 

12 October 1991 Saturday

I woke up with Jeff Workman’s body pressed next to mine. He is so sweet and yet passionate lover. He had to attend his class again at UEA so he left at eight after I had fixed him some breakfast. He was gone for the rest of the day because he had to go into work tonight. So I spent the day trying to clean the house but I am in a lover’s lethargy and not wanting to do anything but lie in bed with Morningstar. After Jimmy’s radio program, he along with Todd Bennett and I went grocery shopping. I think Bobbie Smith is still playing Dungeons and Dragons with his pagan friends. I bought tickets for Jeff and I for the Bob Marley Tribute concert sponsored by KRCL for the 25^th of the month.  In the late afternoon, Bobbie “Gillian” Smith, Jimmy “Fuku” Hamamoto, Todd “Homo Erectus” Bennett, David “Thunderbeam”, and me began actually working on the layout of our Faerie ‘Zine; the Salt and Sage. We came up with some concepts but decided to put off until tomorrow some final decisions until John “Dark Feather” Bundy  comes down from Ogden with his computer. We did agree to rename the Full Moon and Sabbat gatherings officially for our calendar. The Sabbats are Samhain, Yule, Candlemas, Easter, Beltane, Midsummer, Lammas, and Michaelmas. The moons are; for October the Honey Moon, for November the Dark Moon, For December The Wolf Moon, For January The Snowfrost Moon, for February The Horny Moon, for March The Faerie Moon, for April The Gay Moon, for May The Merry Moon, for June The Magick Moon, for July The Warm Moon, for August The Dragon Fire Moon, and for September The Harvest Moon. Know us they might all get changed again.  Morningstar came home at ten and we went to bed.

·         Page: B4 DOZENS OF GAYS COME OUT FOR DOWNTOWN MARCH    Nearly three dozen gay-rights advocates, hoisting placards and a Rainbow Coalition flag, marched at the Federal Building in downtown Salt Lake City Friday evening to commemorate National Coming Out Day.    ``We're here. We're queer. We're fabulous. Get used to us,'' they chanted as home-bound commuters looked on. Members of Queer Nation and other groups, organized by the Gay and Lesbian Community Council of Utah, marched peacefully for 90 minutes around the fountain at the Wallace F. Bennett Federal Building, 125 S. State.  Carrying a placard stating ``I Love Queer Girls,'' Toni Palmer said she was marching to make Salt Lake residents aware that gays and lesbians live in their community.  ``Most people are too sheltered. They think gays only live in San Francisco,'' she said.

 

13 October 1991 Sunday

Jeff Workman and I were able to sleep in this morning . We’ve made love everyday since Wednesday night. I love him so much and yet he's very different from Billy Bikowski. Perhaps that’s a really healthy thing. After Jeff left to care of some business, I read the Sunday paper. In the news the Clarence Thomas and Anita Hill  heterosexual struggle of "she said he said"  is still going on. Patriarchy gives men just about the right to do anything they choose. Anyway at noon, I went down the alley to Bobbie Smith’s place to work on the Salt and Sage with Jimmy “Fuku” Hamamoto, Todd “Homo Erectus” Bennett, David “Thunderbeam” Ball, Bobbie “Gillian” Smith, Frank “Hooter” Lohmeyer, and John “Dark Feather” Bundy. We worked imputing the pages into a MacIntosh Computer that Dark Feather brought down. He was incredibly helpful in fact we could not have accomplished all that we did without him. At six we took a break and went out to dinner at Café Trang. Homo Erectus is dating this guy Pat that I’ve known through Jim Hunsaker. I hope everyone is starting to find mates for the coming winter.  Anyway, dinner was good and afterwards we went back to editing the 'zine and we finished editing  at ten at night. Fuku, Dark Feather, and Thunderbeam then took the floppy disc to Kinko’s to make a laser disc copy as a master. I went home to be with Morningstar and while we were in bed, those three brought us a copy of the pages over. It looked great and now all we have to do is cut and paste images on the pages and we will be In-Business. It’s a lot of fun working on a project like this and to see it actually come together. I was surprised how quickly we put it together.  Becky Moorman and Alice Drake are moving their offices into the Architect Building that is next to Beauchaine’s Aardvark Cabaret on 4^th South and 2^nd West just west of the State Liquor Store. I want to help them since the Stonewall Center doesn’t want me. But more than anything I want to spend time with my lover Jeff. My lover, what a joyful word. He loves me. He tells me that he does. I’m willing to take the risk of being in love. I can't help it either because I’ve fallen hard.

Additional Material

·         The Trapp has its grand opening

 

14 October 1991 Monday

I was up at 5:45 to get ready for work and it was hard leaving Jeff Workman in bed. I was really tired. I need to get more sleep and fuck less. That isn’t going too happen. While at school during my breaks, I secretly worked on the Faerie ‘Zine by doing paste ups. I didn’t get home until 4:30 because my Centerville Bus came early and I missed it so I had to wait a half hour for the next bus. I fixed Jeff and I dinner of baked potatoes, mushrooms, onions ad zucchini although he didn’t get home until after seven. Tonight was the Board of Trustee’s meeting on the Utah Stonewall Center, I did not go. It’s other people’s fight now. I am just going to put my energies in Jeff and keep involved with the Faeries and Del Mar Court. At home, I sent my working copy of the ‘zine with David Ball to take to the Stonewall Center so that Bobbie Smith and  Frank Lohmeyer can start looking at it and make adjustments or changes. John Bundy wants to do a Faerie Calendar to sell as a fundraiser for the Sacred Faeries. Cool. Jeff worked on some of his schoolwork while I watched Murphy Brown and Designing Women. We went to bed at nine before anyone else got home from the Board of Trustees Meeting, so I'm not sure what all was resolved down there. Why care? I am so in love with Morningstar.

 

15 October 1991 Tuesday

I am not getting any sleep anymore. I fucked Jeff Workman for the first time. I don’t know why, but it felt so natural. I am so in love with Morningstar. I don’t know what to do about it. When I reached home at 4:15 I tried to take a nap. Clarence Thomas won confirmation by four Senate votes as a Supreme Court Justice. That should make smug face Orrin Hatch happy. Tonight was what was called a Stonewall Center Town Meeting. It certainly isn’t a community center for me any longer and for other people as well.  Beauchaine said we should just start our own Community Center over at the Aardvarks near the Bridge’s new location. I’m not sure that would be a community center either. I had Todd Bennett do an I-Ching reading for me today. I asked where is Jeff and relationship going. It said that there was synergy between us and that we are heading toward becoming a family but right now there's some excess baggage to deal with. I was surprised by the accuracy of the reading and pleased also. I made spaghetti and garlic bread for our dinner although Jeff didn’t get home until 7:30. He had to do a lesson plan for his evaluation tomorrow. We went to bed at 9:30. I haven’t heard a word about events at the center but I haven’t asked either.

 

16 October 1991 Wednesday

I hate leaving Jeff Workman in the morning; but today he left first as he has his evaluation today. I took my van into work because I had to stay late for my Word Perfect Class. It was the last class and while others were grousing that they didn’t get anything out of it, I did. And for only $10 I really can’t complain. I can see how a computer with a writing program will be better than a type writer. I was home  this evening at 6:30 and Jeff came in shortly after that. He had a  horrible day with some of his 2^nd Graders trying to drown a cat in the boy’s bathroom. Can you imagine that? Anyway, Mom called me tonight just to visit because she had heard from me in a while. She said Aunt Minnie is in Arizona staying with mom and dad for a visit. Milton and Marie have their house up for sale in Anaheim Hills ready to move to Arizona. Mom said she and dad are really happy about the move so I am happy for them  too.  After getting off the phone, Jeff and I went to bed at 8:30. We are so tired from all the fucking we have been doing and the lack of sleep because of it. Chuck Whyte called and asked if he can pay me back the $20 he owes me later this month and I said sure. Talking to Harold Jones today, he said that Larry the guy we called Gypsy moved out last week saying that he really wasn’t Gay and he moved in with a girlfriend. Well how do you like that? I guess he just needs someone who will support him and take care of him. That’s why I don’t trust bi-sexuals to support our movement because they aren’t as invested as we are. They always run home when the going gets tough. I was going to work on the Faerie ‘Zine tonight but David Ball still has my copy and Jeff anted to go to bed early. Today is the first anniversary of our being together.  I wish he would just move in here all together but he made a commitment to share rent with his boss Jackie for a while. If we both lived here our rent would only be $135 a month  each. It would help us both out. He spends all his time here anyway so in effect he’s already living with me. It seems like it happened so fast and perhaps it did but that’s how I fall in love. Jeffrey Don Workman born in Cottonwood Hospital Utah in 1965. Ugh! His mother is only seven years older tan I am, Fran’s age! I’m a cradle robber. Ugh! But I do love him and je says he loves me.

 

17 October 1991 Thursday

After I came home from work, Alice Drake from the Bridge called me. She was upset about the Stonewall’s meeting last Tuesday. She saw first hand how Craig Miller is not interested at all in having any community input in running the center. Alice said that Craig responded to suggestions about having more furniture at the center by saying he didn’t want “ratty” furniture there. It occurred to her that he considers the bulk of the Gay community as “ratty furniture”. That we are not really good enough to be involved making decisions about the center. Only the elitist snobs are I suppose. Anyway. Bobby “Gillian” Smith and I went out to have the Salt and Sage printed. We went to Aztec Copier on 3^rd South and 2^nd East and it cost $2.50 for them to screen a copy and it is going to cost almost $36 to have one hundred copies made, stapled, and folded. So went instead to O.P.’s where it only cost $14 for one hundred copies although we will have to fold and staple them ourselves but we did it. I was really pleased with results. Fuku fronted the $20 for the printing cost. I think we are going to try and get the Faeries to cough up $8 for a yearly subscription to cover the costs. Anyway  we went to Unconditional Support  tonight and we decided it may be time to move from our present location if the center is to be a business and not homey. We are going to look into moving to the Horizon House where the Youth Group Meets or even back to the Crossroads Urban Center  for future meeting places because the center is feeling toxic. Jeff came to the meeting a little later than we did, the cutie. He makes my heart smile. The Royal Court was hosting their AIDS Awareness “Wine and Cheese” Reception at the center tonight although it was a very small turn out as the place isn’t very welcoming. In fact Craig Miller was the only one there  representing the center. I talked to Becky Moorman and Alice Drake mostly while at the center. They asked me to be a volunteer coordinator for their new coffee shop and bookstore and I said I would.  Emperor Jeff Smith and Empress Stephanie Thomas from the Royal Court were very friendly to me tonight as was Bruce Harmon. He said something to the affect about how far back we go with our history in the community. I know it was meant for Craig Miller’s ears as Craig has no history with the community until Charlene Orchard hand picked him out. I am not vindictive  so if Craig would just submit to the community instead of being doggedly defensive, he could redeem himself in my estimation. It truly isn’t personal like it was directed at me. We just don’t want an assimulationist center to show the world what good little queers we are. Melissa Sillitoe has my old job and is the Volunteer liaison now. Good Luck. She will be great if they let her.   Today is Helen of Troy’s 29^th birthday. Fuku read Mark C. Jackman’s medicine cards yesterday and Tom Hennacy’s today. Jackman hosts a show on KRCL and his faerie name is Marksy. I am glad Fuku has taken it upon himself to do the readings however I miss recording people’s totems.  Jeff had to be at a business meeting  at nine and didn’t get home until eleven. We fucked until midnight.

 

 

18 October 1991 Friday

This week went really fast. I’m ready for the weekend. I came home  and straightened up  but not much. I spent all my energy on Morningstar. We had originally planned on going to Club Karraras  to see and hear Kathryn Warner sing tonight but Todd Bennett and Pat didn’t want to go so we ended up going to a movie. John Bundy came down from Ogden, so the six of us, Jimmy Hamamoto, Todd, Pat, John, Jeff Workman and I  went to the Tower Theater and saw “Slackers", an independent film comedy. It was a great and true road movie. What an amazing journey.

 

19 October 1991 Saturday

Jeff Workman and I slept in until about nine and then we cleaned house while listening to Jimmy Hamamoto’s All Weather Radio show on KRCL. We fucked a little while listening to it. Anyway at one we drove up Parley’s Canyon to look at the trees turning colors and we ended driving up to Kamas and then Camp Rogers in the Soapstone Basin. The camp was deserted and it seemed really melancholy with the grassy area where we played volleyball gone to seed. Cow patties were everywhere. It looked like a ghost town especially with most of the aspen tree's leaves gone. But Jeff and I walked over to the Beaver Pond area where I saw that the sweat lodge was caved in. Everything looked so deserted and abandoned. It made me feel sad. The deer hunters were out in full force too. Gawd it was awful. If Gays wear pink triangles then heterosexuals should have to wear florescent orange squares. Still, it was fun just being out with Jeff. He makes me feel as if I’m not middle aged Gawd I am middle aged! 40 years old!  We came home at 5:30 and Jeff had some errands to fun so I finished cleaning the house. When he returned he brought a David Lynch movie from Block Busters Video called "Wild at Heart". What a strange movie and Nicholas Cage was wild in it. Jimmy Hamamoto and Todd Bennett came over to watch it with us. Bobbie Smith was still moping over Jim Hunsaker who he ran into at the store. Bobbie said Jim has stopped his monthly payment to the center. He left them a note saying “No Ben No Ten” ha! Today is Becky Moorman and Alice Drake’s anniversary. I had to call a lot of faeries  to remind them of the Full Moon gathering tomorrow.

·         Page: B2 U. WILL SELL CONDOMS TO COMBAT AIDS Byline: By John J. Jordan    Condoms will be easier to find at the University of Utah as AIDS education becomes an increasingly important topic on the campus.   ``We are making AIDS education a top priority for the 1990s,'' said Dr. Vicky Prager, medical director, Student Health Services. ``We at the university want to send a message to the community that we care about the health and welfare of our students.''    The university's new health-care program is designed to educate students, staff and faculty about the dangers of HIV and AIDS.   Condoms will be sold at the bookstore and Trading Post, a small store that serves on-campus residence halls. Next spring, condom-dispensing vending machines that display educational information will be installed at several campus locations, including women's and men's restrooms.   ``We expect there will be people who disagree with the decision to sell condoms on campus, but this is a public-health issue, not a moral issue, said Dr. Tom Evans, director of the HIV clinic at University Hospital.   Condoms are a small part of the education process for people who need protection from sexually transmitted diseases, he said.      The university is stepping up its health-care program because Utah has a higher- than-expected AIDS rate and university-aged people are particularly at risk, said Dr. Prager.  The Utah Department of Health estimates 2,000 to 5,000 people in the state may carry the virus. In Utah, 5.5 people per 100,000 develop AIDS each year, said Dr. Prager.   Nationwide, one in 500 college students is infected with the AIDS virus.  Dr. Prager says education is the best way to approach the AIDS epidemic on college campuses because students feel a new sense of independence and have many choices to make.  The new program will operate in conjunction with the AIDS Education Project operated by the Lowell Bennion Community Service Center on campus.

20 October 1991 Sunday

Jeff Workman and I slept in and read the Sunday paper before getting up to fix biscuits and scrambled eggs for breakfast. Then I read Morningstar’s medicine cards today and his main total was the Fox representing cunning, agility, and being quick-witted. At 12:30 he had to go into work so I did up some laundry for most of the afternoon while he was gone. It was cool and cloudy out today. The weather is definitely getting colder. I took Jimmy Hamamoto shopping and we were barely back in time for the Church of Star Trek. Todd Bennett was back together with Pat. Todd found out yesterday that Pat had a relationship that was not completely over and Todd was feeling hurt. But evidently things are working out now. So I read also the medicine cards for Pat who we named Peppermint Patty. His main totem was the Raven which is the symbol for magic. Our Honeymoon gathering began at seven with five new people attending, Morningstar, Peppermint Patty, Mark C “Marksy” Jackman, Mat, and Peanut Butter. The last three are people who Fuku brought into the circle. The gathering was held in my place. Other Faeries present were Harold “Silver Fox” Jones, Bobbie “Gillian” Smith, Robert “Popcorn” Olson, John “Dark Feather” Bunday, Todd :Homo Erectus”, Jimmy “Fuku” Hamamoto and myself. Gypsy dropped out of the faeries after he decided he wasn’t Gay after all. Rocky “Kyle Skybear” O’Donovan has also quit his association with us and is totally involved with Queer Nation. Mike “Wecca” King hasn’t attended since last spring and Robert “Orion” Erichssen has moved to California. I am surprised by the number of folks who did not attend tonight; Frank “Hooter” Lohmeyer, David “Thunderbeam” Ball, Randy “Niassa” Wangreen, Ron “Storm” Richardson, Woodie, Gary Bo, Erick “Buffalo Song”  Meyers, Scott “Jasper Nightshade” Spinks, Randy Holladay, Kevin “Ceojamma” Warren, Firefly, Dark Thunder, and Troy “Helen of Troy” Lunt. We birthed the five new faeries tonight, sang and chanted, and did a spiral visualization meditation. We also passed around bread and wine. Most of the faeries tonight were sky clad while others wore skirts and sweat pants. We raised some good energy. Mat and Marksy were so cute together. Peanut Butter came into the group from a referral at Gypsy Moon Emporium. He got his name because he sticks to the roof of your mouth. The circle lasted until nine thirty and then we released the elements from whence they came.  I think it was a very up beat circle. Jeff went with me to return my van obver to behind Beauchaine’s place and then walked me back home. We were in bed by 10:30. I love his physical attributes and his sweet soul. I cant believe that he’s in love with me. If I was 22  and cute again maybe but at 40 and ornery? It’s a divine miracle. When mom called last week I told her about Jeff that he makes me incredibly happy.

Additional Material

·         Thirty people have been approved for the Home Health Care Program launched by the Utah Department of Health last year. The program aims to ensure a good quality of life for people with AIDS or testing HIV-positive by providing patients with homemaker services, health-aide services, personal-care services, routine tests and medical equipment.The number of participants is relatively low because it is not an early intervention program. Rather it helps people who have AIDS or who have tested positive for the HIV and who are medically or chronically dependent, said Edie Sidle, HIV/AIDS treatment and care coordinator for the Bureau of Chronic Disease Control, Utah Department of Health. As of September 1991, a contract was awarded through the Utah HIV Care Consortium to provide a variety of health and support services. The Utah HIV Care Consortium is a partnership between the Salt Lake City-County Health Department, the Utah AIDS  Foundation and service providers in the Utah HIV Coordination of Care Council The allocation, known as the Ryan White Comprehensive AIDS Resources Emergency Act, or Title II program, enables people who are HIV-positive and their families to receive services, through the providers, Ms. Sidle said. The fund was made available from the U.S.Health Resources and Services Administration, which allocated the money to the Utah Department of Health, she said..( 10/20/91 Pg: A4 SLTribune)

·         Page: A1  Peggy Tingey and her son, Chance, are fighting the effects of the AIDS virus. Ms. Tingey discovered she was HIV-positive after giving birth. WHEN YOUR LITTLE ONE HAS AIDS . . . Byline: By Vic Garcia  Odds are that Peggy Tingey will outlive her 19-month-old son, Chance. Chance has AIDS. And Ms. Tingey struggles with the knowledge she is HIV-positive -- carrying the AIDS virus but not exhibiting the symptoms. ``I put an emphasis on the baby's health first, but I realized I have to take care of myself to outlive him,'' said Ms. Tingey. ``Then after he dies, I have a decision to make -- whether to live or die.  ``When we have to face [the end of Chance's life], I'm not sure if I can deal with that,'' the Bountiful woman said. ``But then again, I didn't think I could deal with the tests either.'' She doesn't see life getting better without Chance in it. Her husband, Bill Tingey, understands her fatalism, she said, but he doesn't condone it.    She was diagnosed as being HIV-positive on May 25, 1990. She believes she was infected in November 1985 by a former fiancé, a man with whom she lived in Chicago.   She returned to Utah in 1986 with Amanda, her 5-year-old daughter from a previous relationship, to live with her mother in Farmington where she met Bill Tingey, in October 1986. Neither Amanda nor Bill have the HIV virus. For five years, Ms. Tingey came down with numerous immune deficiency health problems. She wasn't sure if it was AIDS, but the thought remained in the back of her mind. ``I had herpes in my nose, I had cervical cancer, I had diarrhea. I had it all,'' she said. After marrying Mr. Tingey in July 1989 she became pregnant. Problems began after Chance was born in March 1990. At three weeks, Chance came down with thrush, an oral yeast infection. By nine weeks, he was checked into the hospital for vomiting, diarrhea, dehydration and weight loss. His thrush infection was resistant to medication.  She and Chance were tested for AIDS: Chance had AIDS, Ms. Tingey carried the HIV virus. Chance was put on AZT, which, so far, has been working.  Now at 19 months, Chance tolerates the Broviac catheter that moves all of his intravenous medication through his heart, and the nasal gastric tube through which his diet is supplemented.  She finds solace by educating others, talking to people at churches, schools, hospitals. `` We'll talk to anyone who'll listen to us``Our main message is be afraid of AIDS, but don't be afraid of people with AIDS.'' The joys and the pains of raising an AIDS-infected child came crashing down on Carolyn Spriggs, a friend and co-worker of Ms.  Tingey, when Ms. Spriggs assumed guardianship of her half-sister's 14-month-old son, Tyler, in December 1986. Two months later, Tyler's mother, a former prostitute and drug user, was diagnosed as HIV-positive. Tyler was tested immediately. He was infected.  Tyler has called Ms. Spriggs ``Mom'' since he can remember. That suits her just fine. Ms.Spriggs, Sandy, co-director of the People With AIDS Coalition of Utah, and husband, Mick, have raised him as one of their own, alongside daughter Stephanie, 17, and sons Eric, 14, and Alan, 12. ``He can be a typical kid,'' she said. ``He can get into trouble. He can get into stuff. He can get into fights with the kids down the street. And that's the way it's supposed to be.'' ``When he goes to school, he says, `Hi. I'm Tyler. I have AIDS and I can't hurt you.' All was well for Tyler and his family until the Christmas season last year. Struck with AIDS-related encephalitis, a virus that attacks the brain, Tyler's fever rose to 106.5 on Christmas day. He was mentally alert but the virus made him too weak to hold himself up, Ms. Spriggs said. AZT, the drug that fights AIDS symptoms, was losing its effectiveness. Tyler's life, it seemed, was slowly ending. He was so sick ``he forgot how to eat'' and spent six weeks in a wheelchair. Approved to receive treatment with a then-experimental drug called DDI, Tyler almost miraculously became coherent and regained strength. ``Tyler has a certain fight to him,'' Ms. Spriggs said. ``Ten days after he was on DDI, he was okay. Three weeks after he began taking it, he was riding his bike, even riding up the small hill in our neighborhood. He has such a spirit.'' Raising Tyler has taught the Spriggs family fairness to all people, she said. It taught her children to speak openly about AIDS issues including sexual behavior.  ``It's fear of the unknown that scares people,'' she said. Ms. Spriggs does not know how long Tyler will live. For now, Tyler's life is proceeding normally. Tyler is the only one who knows for sure whether he's ready to move on.    ``When I get really tired, then I'll go live with Jesus,'' he told his mother. ``But I'm not tired yet.''[ Peggy Tingey is Becky Moss; younger sister]

21 October 1991 Monday

It’s so hard to get up at 5:45 and leave Jeff Workman while he's still in bed at 6:45. I snapped at Jimmy Hamamoto this morning but apologized over the phone later. I am not a morning person and cannot be held accountable for my actions. At work, I showed a movie "The Bear" to both Mrs. Day’s and my class to go along with our animal unit and because Mrs. Day had to have the time to make lesson plans for a substitute she needs for the rest of the week. A nephew of hers died and she’s taking the rest of the week off. At the apartment, I stayed home the rest of the evening except when Jeff and I went out to return a video and to pick up some tortillas. I ran into Julie Pollack while taking the bus home today. She is furious about the direction that the Gay and Lesbian Community Council is going and about the Gay and Lesbian Utah Democrats. She doesn’t want GLCCU to become a Political Action Committee and she resents her treatment as co-chair of GLUD by Dale Sorenson who is dismissive of her opinions. Anyway, Jeff and I invited his friend Jackie over for dinner this coming Sunday. I’m not sure whether they are still moving in together. I’m selfish. I want Jeff here with me. A huge fire in the Berkeley area of California destroyed 1,800 homes and killed 16 people. How horrendous. Bobbie Smith said he’s approaching Fertile Ground about advertising in the Salt and Sage/

 

22 October 1991 Tuesday

I had a restless sleep last night because I had a past life regression. I was a Celtic man in a type of stone fortress house being attacked by barbarians, Vikings or Saxons, not sure, and they were massacring everyone on this farm and since I knew I was doomed, I took a sharp shard and slashed my wrists rather than be hacked to death with a battle ax. I remember the horror of slicing my veins and seeing the blood gush out. What prompted this regression I wonder? I also experienced a glimpse of being aboard a sinking ocean liner? The Titanic? I wonder if the sinking of the Titanic is a group shared memory seared into the subconscious of people’s collective memory? I could not have been on the Titanic if I am the reincarnation of my great-grandfather Mabry Danforth. Have I been killed too many times by warriors to ever think that war is ever anything but pure evil? I wonder what triggered this regression. Why this window to the past right now? Maybe because Samhain is coming. Birth death rebirth. Am I to dance the dance again and again?. I hope so if I can be reborn again with John Cunningham, Billy Bikowski, Fran and Jeff Workman. Anyway I was really tied at work because of a lack of sleep  with Jeff Workman being my bed partner. It’s been a mixed blessing. Its been two weeks now and his ardor has not cooled at all for me. Jeff had an in-service class until seven. There was nothing playing at an early show so Jimmy Hamamoto and I decided not to take in a movie. Instead I stayed home and made a batch of cheese enchiladas for Jeff’s dinner. Jim Hunsaker dropped by at six to return a porn tape. We visited a little bit and  caught up on news within the community. John Reeves called yesterday from Boston and said he got the Queer Nation Utah Tee-shirt I sent him. When Jeff came home I helped him correct some papers. Then I got a phone call from Chuck Whyte and Debbie Rosenberg. They both realized that Craig Miller is not interested at all in working the Community Council people and that he really is a liar; saying one thing to one group then another thing to another. Debbie Rosenberg wants me to accept the directorship of the Utah Stonewall Center. I only said I would if she was co chair but that's not going to happen. Jeff and I tried going to bed early but we kept getting interrupted. He’s so cute and darling. I got a Ziggy Marley and Bob Marley CD in the mail today. Jeff was so cute up and dancing to it. He sure makes my heart smile.  Today is my only niece’s 20^th birthday. It is also my Grandpa Williams birthday. He would have been 89 if he had not died in 1978.

 

23 October 1991 Wednesday

I am worn down by my students at school. They are so hyper with Halloween just a week away. It rained and stormed this morning. It even thundered and lightened. It cleared up in the afternoon however. I’m sure that is another reason why the kids are all going nuts. I didn’t do anything in the evening. I was depressed too hear that Jeff Workman will have to move in with Jackie because the house they wanted to rent became available. I made dinner for Jimmy Hamamoto and Bobbie Smith as Jeff didn’t get home until seven. We went to bed at eight because we were so tired. I love Jeff so very much. I do believe he loves me too, warts and all. Just kidding about the warts.

 

24 October 1991 Thursday

 Jeff Workman and I finally got some good sleep last night so I’m not the basket case  I have been lately, but the kids are sure wired. A kind of Mormon bizarre twist is in the news as that the LDS Church admitted that there’s a Satanic cult within the church, estimated at about 800 people along the Wasatch Front who have been sexually and physically abusing children as well as allegations of human sacrifice. An internal memo from Glen Pace of the Presiding Bishoprick was leaked to the Gerald and Sandra Tanner’s Mesenger. The memo said Patriarchs, Bishops, Young Men and Women leaders and members of the Tabernacle Choir are involved. I wonder how this news of a Satanic Cult will effect the Pagan communities who don’t even believe  in such an entity as Satan or that he even exists let alone worship him. Satan and Jehovah are flip sides of patriarchy. Who needs it? Jeff came home at 6:30 and Todd Bennett, Jeff and I went to Unconditional Support together  where we had a good time being campy. Michael Bryner and Frank Lohmeyer stated that they would consider being co-chairs for Unconditional Support  so that Bobbie Smith could step down as he’s over whelmed with the library. Bobbie is working so hard to keep the library afloat with no help from Craig Miller. Back at Del Mar Court, Sharon Philpot told me that Bobbie has to do something about rent as he’s $700 in arears. That means he hasn’t paid rent in three months! Todd Bennett moving in with him should help out some but poor Bobbie. He needs to pull his life together. Jeff and I went to bed at 10:30. This guy named Jim DuBois keeps calling me on the sex line and I keep telling him I am not interested. Ugh!

 

25 October 1991 Friday

It seemed like a longer day at work than it really was but as they say "That God’s It’s Friday". I came home and tried straightening up the house. I thought  Jeff Workman was going to be home early but it was closer to seven before he did. He said he went out drinking after work with some of the other teachers. I had Jimmy Hamamoto and Todd Bennett over for dinner to finish off the enchiladas I had made earlier. When Morningstar came home he was so cute and frisky. He kept attacking me trying to have sex with me. I love him so much. Anyway we took a taxi to the fairgrounds for the Bob Marley Tribute Concert because none of us seemed to be in any shape to drive as we had been drinking. The Gallery at the Fairgrounds was already crowded when we got there at 8:15 and they really did start the show on time which was a amazing. Marcia Griffin, The Wailers, and Rita Marley were the performers who stood out for me. Rita Marley was incredible and dressed in an African Crown that made her appear as an African Goddess. There were tons of hippies, granola heads, South Pacific Islanders all dancing to the reggae beat. There were lots of tied dye, colorful carves, and marijuana smoke. I saw Maury Modine  and he came up to me and gave me a big hung. He’s so charismatic. Jeff was having so much fun. He really like reggae music from having been a Peace Corp volunteer in Belize. Jimmy, Todd, Jeff and I must have been sending out queer energy as we kissed, held each other, and danced provocatively. I think some of the Granola boys had trouble dealing with it but let them get over it. We kept pushing Jimmy into tight spots in the crowd of young sweaty granola boys. He was in heaven. It really was a memorable night. I only wished Bobbie Smith could have been with us but he was down at the Stonewall Center’s volunteer pot luck. It was a fun magical night. I also only wished  also I wasn’t so tired from getting up so early. The concert lasted until 11:30 and then we left. We decided to just walk home from Fairgrounds as it wasn’t very cold out and we were still grooving.. It was just slightly nippy out but we were warm from all the dancing we did. I am so lucky to have Jeff. Everybody knows it too. When we got back to the Greek Compound it was midnight ad Jeff and I went to bed as we were exhausted from being up since 5:30 this morning. It was a fun day to kick off a fun weekend.

 

26 October 1991 Saturday

Jeff Workman had to go to his old apartment to help clean it and move things out of it. While he was gone I cleaned the apartment for the party tonight. I went grocery shopping with Bobbie Smith and got enough things to make pumpkin pies and other treats for tonight. Jeff said he loves pumpkin pie. Jimmy Hamamoto did a great Halloween program for his show on KRCL. Anyway I had to clean my house and get ready for the Unconditional Support Halloween Slumber Party. I called a lot of people but the only ones who showed were the usual faeries and Unconditional Support members. We watched "Abbott and Costello Meets Frankenstein", "The Rocky Horror Picture Show", "Elvira Mistress of the Dark" and "the Hunger." I faded away during  the Hunger. So Jeff and I went to bed at four in the morning after a long day. The others stayed up to watch even more videos. It started to snow tonight. Ugh! It was a fun party I think. No drinking or getting high, just having fun enjoying each other;s company. It was a nice Halloween Party. I’m so in love with Jeff. It must be getting sickening to the others. I guess Todd isn’t seeing Pat anymore

 

27 October 1991 Sunday

Jeff Workman and I slept in until 10:30 and we saw that Bobbie Smith and Willy Marshall were curled up together and David Ball and Jimmy Hamamoto had sept together. This  street kid named Ed went home with Frank Lohmeyer who lives across the way. I roused the sleepy heads and fixed a breakfast of scrambled eggs, fried potatoes and biscuits  for those who stayed the night. It was fun being with Jeff Workman the rest of the day being lazy and reading the Sunday Paper. We stayed in this cold wintry like day. Snow has dusted everything with powder sugar so our short one month of Autumn is over. Jeff had to go into work at one and so I was going to take Jimmy shopping when I noticed that someone had broken into my van and ripped out the radio and all the speakers. They broke open the dash board and I was afraid the van wouldn’t start but it did. It was acting up so much that I just drove it over to Beauchaine’s and decided to abandon it  there. It would cost more to fix it than it was worth. So as far as I am concerned, I am car less again. Oh Well. David Ball took Jimmy and I to Grunts and Postures where I bought a long coat for winter. We also went grocery shopping . In the evening when Jeff came home, I fixed chili and corn bread for his friend Jackie who came over to meet me. We visited but Jeff never told her that he and I are pretty serious and wanting to form a union. So guess Jeff will rent from her until January 1^st. We went to bed early about 8:30.

 

28 October 1991 Monday

I was up at 5:45this morning  to get to work. I made arrangements last week with Mrs. Mahi to work for me tomorrow  so I spent much of the day making lesson plans. I am getting really stressed out about my court appearance. I wonder how much is it going to cost me. I know I wont go to jail because they don’t put you in jail anymore  but still its very stressful. In the evening I went to the Utah Stonewall Center with Jeff Workman to return some library books and I saw Debbie Rosenberg and Carla Gourdin there who were volunteering. They are having their Samhain this Thursday. I want to tell Jeff about my court appearance tomorrow but I am afraid that he may feel differently towards me if he knows I've been arrested. I love him so much.  We went to bed early.

 

29 October 1991 Tuesday

I was almost sentenced to jail today by that awful homophobe Eleanor Van Scriven. I still might because she put off sentencing until December 3^rd so I have another five weeks to have this hanging over my head. This morning I talked to Jeff Workman about what was going on with me and he was so supportive. I was afraid it might change how he felt about me but it didn’t. He just wanted to know what was happening. In the morning I went and  got a hair cut for my court appearance and then went down to the court house at two in the afternoon to meet with my lawyer. I was nervous and scared and thinking they won’t send me to jail. Yet when the prosecutor met with my attorney he said that Van Scriver was giving jail time for my offense and that he in good conscience could not recommend that I not serve jail time. Even my lawyer was aghast at what a hard ass the prosecutor was. Anyway my lawyer Randall Cox was real pensive because his grandfather’s funeral was yesterday and he was in a weird mood that made him think that none of this was very important in the scheme of things and he’s right except I don’t want  to go to jail and lose my job. I am pretty accepting but I don’t want my students to suffer because of this judge's homophobia. It was funny in a strange way, because I ended up comforting my lawyer. At 3:30 my case was up and the people before me who were arrested for the same offense were sentenced to jail, so I was certain I was going to serve some time. I just turned my will over to Providence and let the Gay Spirt  direct my fate. My Faerie friends must have been sending me powerfully good energy  because at the last minute, the prosecutor came before the bench and said that he would recommend no jail time. But Van Scriver said to me that she didn’t see any reason for not sending me to jail. Cox explained to her that I was now in a monogamous relationship  and that I would stop attending Lesbian and Gay Student Union at the University but she shot back that she didn’t see why attending or not attending LGSU would make any difference in curtailing my actions. However at the last minute she finally asked if I had ever been to a counselor for low self esteem.  I said no and at that point she said that she would do my sentencing after reading a therapist report. I felt an emotional wreck. I was so close to going to jail and at the last minute received a stay until December. I was sentenced to see Dr. Robert Card who has been involved in anti-Gay conversion therapy at BYU; but I am not going to see him to change my sexual orientation. They could put me in jail first, but rather, I am going to see him for low self esteem issues. What Gay person doesn’t have low self esteem issues growing up Gay under the crushing weight of heterosexualism?  Randall Cox said I could get a good report from Card and  I should have him call Cox about my case. At home I called Card and made an appointment to see him next Tuesday at nine in the morning so I am going to have to take more time off from work but at least I am not in jail. It’s going to cost me $100 an hour to see him. What a racket and my FHP Insurance won't cover it so it’s right out of my pocket. Well one step at a time. The main objective is to stay out of jail and then get this expunged from my record as soon as possible. At home I was mentally exhausted but Todd Bennett, Jimmy Hamamoto, and Bobbie Smith all came over to lend their support and sympathy. Jeff and I went to bed early. I love him so much. 

 

30 October 1991 Wednesday

I am emotionally exhausted as I went back to work but it’s the real world and not the nightmare of being in court where someone else controls your fate. The kids are hyper with Halloween around the corner. I am still drained from yesterdays chamber of horrors. I’m going to be raked over for five more weeks. Death by a thousand cuts.  The weather has turned so cold. It’s only been in the mid thirties all this week. I don’t have much energy for anything. When Jeff Workman came home I went grocery shopping with him. He had to get some treats for his kids. Jeff wanted to go to a show but we couldn’t find anything that was close by that we wanted to see so we ended up staying home and watching “Home Alone”. What a cute show. I especially love lying in Jeff’s arm feeling protected from the demons in this old world.

 

31 October 1991 Thursday

It’s All Hallow’s Eve. It  was so cold tonight that it took a lot of the fun out of the holiday. At school I had the kids sing Halloween songs  and we had a party in the afternoon. The kids got to wear costumes for the Halloween Parade. I didn’t feel like dressing up although most of the teachers did. Maybe next year I will. When Jeff came home he brought over his color TV and then he took me to the store to get a bus pass and some stamps. I fixed him nachos for dinner and we watch “Witches”  Bobbie Smith finally found a part time job at Shenanigans in the Perry Hotel. That's good. The womyn are having their Sabbat tonight. We are waiting until next Saturday too hold our gathering. Jeff had to leave at 8:30  to go to some meeting at the Stratford so I was in bed by the time he came home. Well this Halloween has come and gone without much fanfare. I am still reeling from the events last Tuesday. I truly thought I’d only have to pay a fine and do community service but Eleanor Van Scriver has always been know to severely punish Gay people.  Well what does the New Turn of the Wheel portend? What will the medicine cards hold for me? I am so grateful for Jeff during this dark time. He is my only light.

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·         Utah non-profit organizations working to raise awareness about AIDS and funds for its treatment are wondering aloud why a local businessman Cole Bang,  is seeking Salt Lake support for an out-of-state cause. The fund-raising producer, said he's building grass-roots support to bring a chapter of the national Pediatric AIDS  Foundation here, but stands to lose his shirt with little support from other AIDS causes. The event -- Bang '91, scheduled Nov. 9 at Kingsbury Hall -- is billed as a fashion show, with 80 percent of the sales of $10, $15 and $20 tickets going to the PAF, based in Santa Monica, Calif. The remaining 20 percent covers costs. Mr. Bang started making plans for his fund-raiser last April, when he purchased a Salt Lake modeling agency and moved here from Los Angeles. He was surprised and disappointed to find no one knew anything about PAF, he said. After a year of educating the public, he hopes to raise enough money to start a chapter here -- to operate a food bank, provide medicine, offer used clothing for children and other services.   PAF was notified that Mr. Bang was planning a fund-raiser in its name. But according to PAF spokesman Cyd Wilson, the foundation is strictly research-oriented. PAF literature says the organization is ``unique'' in its focus on the future, providing funds for medical research. It differs from programs ``helping children survive on a day-to-day basis'' and does not raise money for food, medicine and lodging.   The small number of Utah children diagnosed with AIDS -- 13 as of last week, some of whom have died -- is too small a population to warrant research here, said Dr. John Christenson, Division of Pediatric Infectious Disease at the University of Utah. Carolyn Spriggs, co-director of People With   AIDS Coalition and adoptive parent of a child with AIDS, said members of that Utah group are frustrated by Mr. Bang's evasive answers about the fund-raiser and his unwillingness to meet with local people about financial needs here. ``We have no problem with the Pediatric  AIDS Foundation. We do have a problem with money raised in Utah and taken to California, especially when people are given the impression the money's going to help children here.'' Mr. Bang uses a nursery-story analogy to describe criticism directed at Bang '91. `For six months, I've been trying to plan this event and get local support. I've been banging my head against the wall. `It's just like the story of the Little Red Hen. They didn't help me plant the seeds and organize it. I'm certainly not going to help them now that the bread is made.'' B6  AIDS ACTIVISTS SQUARE OFF OVERPLANNED FUND-RAISER Byline: By Nancy Hobbs

DECEMBER

1 December 1991 Sunday

My nephew James was born 23 years ago on a Sunday. I wonder if he’s still in jail? I wonder if I will be joining him after Tuesday.     

    Jeff Workman had to go into work but it’s last day at the Stratford as he’s quitting. I worked on the Sacred Faeries’ Salt and Sage stuff mostly today.  I was not well enough to trek over to The Bridge until later in the day. I have a polyp or something at the back of my throat that kept gagging me. My energy is zero. 

    At the Bridge I heard from Becky Moorman that Allen Ofeldt, the Gospel singer who lived on Wayne Court, died yesterday of AIDS.  He was so beautiful and talented.  It’s like we Gays are being swept away into a black hole.  Who will be next? Bob Christensen’s obituary was in the Salt Lake Tribune I think last Tuesday. He attended the first Beyond Stonewall. 

    When Todd Bennett came home we had Church of Star Trek. Todd said that he and Mike Pipkin are engaged. Huh? Strange.

    Tonight is the Salt Lake Men’s Choir’s Christmas performance. The director of the choir put his foot in his mouth about the Gay Civil Rights Movement in an article into today’s Tribune.  Alexander said he’d never support the Gay Civil Rights Movement as long as he was in charge! Piss elegant Fairy. 

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·         HE SALT LAKE MEN'S CHOIR welcomes the Christmas season with two concerts, this evening and Monday, Dec. 1 and 2, at 7 p.m. in Kingsbury Hall. Admission is $6 at the door. Amanda Dickson will be emcee, and performances will be interpreted for the deaf and hearing impaired

·          HATE CRIME BILL- SHOULD HATE-CRIMES BILL COVER GAYS? UTAHNS SPLIT  Utah is the only state in the nation that doesn't have some kind of hate crime law, but efforts to pass such legislation are hung up on the question of whether homosexuals should be protected along with racial, ethnic and religious groups. The latest Deseret News/KSL-TV poll shows that Utahns are split over whether gays should be protected under a bill proposed by House Minority Leader Frank Pignanelli, D-Salt Lake. Pollster Dan Jones of Dan Jones & Associates found that 42 percent of Utahns believe gays should be included in the new law, while 42 percent say they should not. For Utah gays and lesbians, the issue is a critical one. They've packed recent meetings of the Legislature's Interim Judiciary Committee, which is considering Pignanelli's bill. Final action on the bill is expected during Wednesday's committee meeting. But opposition to including homosexuals in the bill has come from both Republicans and Democrats, says Pignanelli, who represents the lower Avenues and Capitol Hill area of Salt Lake City. Committee member Merrill Nelson, R-Grantsville, believes homosexuals should not be given special status under the new bill, considering that sodomy is against the law in Utah. He argues, in essence, that the Legislature would be giving special legal protection to a group of criminals. Pignanelli counters that he's not changing the statutes on sodomy, and doesn't want to. "Many homosexuals don't practice sodomy, they don't act on their sexuality. Yet they are still victims of hate crimes."In fact, most of the hate crimes committed across the United States and in Utah are not against a racial minority or religious group - they're against homosexuals. To get at this problem, and it is a problem, gays have to be included." Pignanelli says that some people's idea of a good time is getting drunk, going to a bar or place frequented by gay men and women and intimidating them verbally or beating them physically. Under Pignanelli's proposed bill, anyone who attacks another for reasons of race, ethnicity, religion or sexual preference would be guilty of a crime one degree higher in severity than the normal assault. For example, if a person beats a black person, calling him racial names, then the attacker could be charged with a more serious crime because the beating was a "hate crime." Prosecutors and police would prove the act was a hate crime and ask for the stiffer penalty. "This is a hate crime bill, not a minorities bill," says Pignanelli. "If five black guys beat up a white guy, and did it for racial reasons, then the blacks could be charged for higher offenses under this bill as well." Some who oppose Pignanelli's bill worry that simply including gays in the new law could lead some to believe that homosexuality is given special status in Utah anti-discrimination law. Pignanelli, an attorney himself, says that won't be the case. To calm those fears, Pignanelli has taken language from a federal hate crime law sponsored by Sen. Orrin Hatch, R-Utah, and included it in his bill. The language says no cause of action for sexual discrimination can be inferred from the hate crime law. "Hatch defended this language on the floor of the U.S. Senate against attacks by Sen. Jesse Helms. I say, what is good enough for Hatch is good enough for Utah, too," Pignanelli said, ripping his Republican legislative colleagues. "I find it ironic that some who oppose this bill are members of a religious group (the LDS Church) whose ancestors were victims of one of the worst hate crimes in this nation's history - the burning of Nauvoo and the beatings that took place there," Pignanelli said. "Utah was settled because of hate crimes, yet we're the only state that doesn't have a law against this." **** (Poll) A proposed law makes a crime against a person a more serious offense if the crime is committed because of the victim's race or religion. Would you favor or oppose also giving this protection to victims having alternative sexual preferences? Favor 42% Oppose 42% Don't know 15% © 1998 Deseret News Publishing Co.

·      -Works donated by Utah artists will be auctioned Sunday in Tivoli Gallery, 225 S. State, as part of a major fund-raiser for the Utah AIDS Foundation. Abstract painter Randi Wagner is honorary chair of "Art For Life."   A silent auction of paintings will alternate with entertainment from 1:30 to 4:30 p.m., when alive auction will conclude the afternoon.   Works by some 50 artists, including Randall Lake, the late Dan Baxter, Ken Baxter, Nancy Crookston, Gary Collins, Randi Wagner, Benjamin Cabey, Marilyn Miller, Lanny Barnard, Cheri Piefke, Ursula Brodauf and Thomas Leek will be on exhibit throughout the day. Pianist Gregory Saint Thomas, accompanied by a harpist, will present a program of Debussy and Chopin as well as several of his own compositions at 2 p.m. "Completely Gershwin," a musical revue, will be performed by local artists Mark Chambers, Joe Pitti, Calvin Johnson, Terri Cowan, Jay Ceen Craven and Brent Fotheringham at 3:15 p.m. A light buffet and beverages will be served.   Tax-deductible tickets for "Art for Life" are $35 per person and will be available at the door.   Ben Barr, executive director of the Utah  AIDS Foundation, said he is impressed by the response from the art community. "I think it's hard enough for artists to make a living in this town, and their willingness to commit work to this effort is fantastic."   The Utah AIDS Foundation is the only agency in the state of Utah that deals with the entire spectrum of services for HIV diseases.   Programs include a food bank, open to anyone who is HIV positive; a hot meals home-delivery program which is carried out in conjunction with LDS Hospital and the Salvation Army; a community education project used by the Junior League, Rotary Club, public schools and churches as well as health-care professionals; an AIDS hot line; a counseling service for both individuals and groups; an advocacy and referral service encompassing medical, social and legal services. The Foundation also acts as coordinator and leader for those agencies and groups in Utah which are providing services for individuals who are HIV positive. (Page: E10 SL Tribune)

 

2 December 1991-Monday

It snowed almost all day and trudging through the slush was no fun with this cold I have. I missed the Centerville bus again but managed to catch the Ogden bus that was running late; but I had to walk further in the snow because of it. I am so glad it was planning day because I was really feeling so down, especially about tomorrow. 

    Since Jeff Workman wouldn’t be home until later, I stayed at school until six, making lesson plans for the rest of the week just in case the worse happens and I am sentenced to jail. 

    When I came home, I cleaned up a little but mostly moped around. I watched a little of Murphy Brown and Designing Women until Jimmy Hamamoto and Todd Bennett came over to give me some moral support.

Additional Material

·         Salt Lake City Mayor Palmer DePaulis challenged government leaders to join as partners with groups fighting the AIDS disease that has killed at least 230 Utahns.  His comments coincided with the U.S. Public Health Service's observance of National AIDS Awareness Day ``Utahns may under estimate the importance of efforts'' by AIDS awareness advocates, the mayor said. He said that government should lead education, treatment and prevention of AIDS and HIV, the virus that leads to AIDS, if the illness is to be controlled and eventually eradicated. ``AIDS affects everyone,'' said the mayor, as he urged broader government support during a news conference at the Utah AIDS  Foundation offices in Salt Lake City. ``This disease needs to have heightened visibility'' that government leaders can provide, he added.   The conference was held to announce distribution of more than $45,000 raised at the1991 Walk for Life in September. Foundation director Ben Barr said the foundation will keep $32,833 for its own programs. The rest will be distributed thusly: Cache Valley AIDS Council, $1,000. Northern Wasatch AIDS Coalition, Ogden, $1,000. Planned Parenthood Association of  Utah, $1,000. YWCA of Salt Lake City, $1,000. Utah Stonewall Center, $1,000. Mountain States Regional Hemophilia Center, $2,000. Continuity of Care Program at Holy Cross Hospital, $3,000. People with AIDS Coalition of Utah, $3,000. Mr. Barr also presented a plaque in recognition of service in fighting AIDS to the Salvation Army for its help in development of a Home Meal Delivery program for people with  AIDS.  Also honored was the Sun Club for helping the  foundation reach some 14,000 people with its AIDS education program. (12/03/91 page B3 SLTribune)

·         SALT LAKE MEN'S CHOIR, Ninth Annual Christmas Concert, T. Brent Carter conducting.Kingsbury Hall, Dec. 1 and 2 at 7 p.m. S.L. MEN'S CHOIR DELIVERS A REAL CROWD-PLEASING GIFT FOR THE CHRISTMAS SEASON By Dorothy Stowe, Music Critic For nine years they have been doing it - giving a Christmas concert that draws bigger crowds every year. So it was time to look in on the Salt Lake Men's Choir and see what was going on.  These men are indeed legitimate crowd pleasers, who sing a program that's familiar and accessible - without intellectual strain, to be sure, but varied, classy and appealing to all grades of music lovers. Their musicmaking is unassuming and without pretense. There seem to be few highly trained voices, but many good natural instruments, and they sing out clearly, simply and without affectation, producing some of the finest diction in town. Every word is projected cleanly and distinctly. The balance and blend among parts is exceptional, with plenty of tenor voices, and the ensemble sound is mellow and unforced. In short, this choir is made for easy listening, the kind that encourages you to ease back in your chair and just go with the flow. Brief commentary by Amanda Dickson is perfectly attuned to enhance the evening, and Steve Zakharias' lyric and fluid signing for the deaf seems to carry a musical message all its own.  Songs of mainstream feeling dominate the program, which opens with "Rejoice and Sing Noel!" a bright little canonic invitation to enjoyment. The Pachelbel Canon in D also appears in a smooth arrangement, and three early Christmas carols include "Masters in This Hall" and the beloved Coventry Carol. Mendelssohn's "Song of the Three Wisemen" is a welcome unfamiliar work, and arrangements of "Lo How a Rose E'er Blooming" and "I Saw Three Ships" do not gild the lily, but pretty much revel in their own sweet simplicity. "The Innkeeper's Carol" with oboe and synthesizer has the plaintive aura of a mountain ballad, and "The Virgin Mary had a Baby Boy," a calypso carol, gives the singers their cue to cut loose with typical Latin exuberance. Post intermission pleasures include the rollicking "A Caroling We Go," with flutist Janet Peaden, Jules Stein's "Let It Snow," and "It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas." Popping on Santa hats and baseball caps, they do a lot for the funny "Nuttin' for Christmas," a la Lawrence Welk. And "Jingle All the Way" is a parody that lists the many headaches of preparing Christmas, though it turns out they wouldn't have it any other way. Several good soloists enhance this program, beginning with Allen Ofeldt in "Sweet Little Jesus Boy," and Lee Smith, giving a wild, sweet resonance to the modal "Carol from an Irish Cabin." You'll also likely enjoy "Merry Christmas Darling" sung by Chris Frogner with Ken Sargeant playing saxophone, and "I'll be Home for Christmas," in Craig Roberts' high, nostalgic tenor.Kingsbury Hall looks very gala for this concert, with a massive display of poinsettias and miniature Christmas trees that overflow the stage. [This review was evidently written prior to the performance as that Allen Ofledt died the night before the concert]

 

3 December 1991 Tuesday

I hate straights. There is no other way to express my anger I feel at what is suppose to be justice. My lawyer never called to let me know what’s going on so I called his office at 8:15 and he’s not in. I then called the court to find out when I was to appear because I thought it was scheduled for ten but I was shocked to learn that I had to be there at nine! Fuck! If I hadn't have call on my own, I’d been screwed. 

    This Randall Cox is worthless as far as I am concerned. $500 may seem like nothing to him but it’s a hell of a lot of money to me, He’s never contacted me once since my last court date. I’ve had to do all the initial calling. 

    Anyway I race down to the court house, and he’s late. When my case comes up he’s out of the court room. He never delivered the copies of my report from Robert Card until right before I appeared before Van Scriver. 

    The report said I attended only twice when I had three times and it said two sessions were not enough to make a professional judgment. So the bitch puts off my sentencing again until January 29^th at nine in the morning! It will have been five months since I was arrested to have this hanging over my head. 

    I am really pissed now. They are just jacking me around now. She is making me go to Card for more therapy sessions so that is more money in his pocket. Cox got his $500  and who knows what Van Scriver is going to exact for her pound of flesh? 

    When I expressed my frustration to Cox, about having this hang over my head for another two months, he snapped at me like I should be grateful that I’m not in jail instead of acting like this is an inconvenience. 

    I told him that it’s not the inconvenience I mind; it’s the fucking mental anguish of it still being held over my head. 

    Well fuck him. I know he’s pissed that he’s not getting anymore money out of me. 

    I walked back home and then called Card the shark to make another appointment for December 13^th at five in the evening. He said at the last session, that a couple of more visits should be enough to satisfy Van Scriver. Let’s see how much he will soak me for.

     I’m sick of these heterosexuals treating me like a sex offender. I had a mutual consensual contact with someone in a semi- private public place, an empty basement men’s room at the University at 9:30 at night where the only person offended was the fucking vice cop who was planted there. I didn’t rape anyone nor sexually coerced anyone. The Bastards. Vice cops are the sleaziest, slimiest, and lowest form of ooze on earth. 

    Anyway I was so stressed out that when I came home, I slept for much of the day before deciding to put it all behind me and go on with my life. I am not going to let them destroy me. Card, Buckmiller, Cox, and Van Scriver are all pimples on my ass, irritating but hardly significant. They can rob me of my money but they can not steal my dignity. 

    I was wrong to go into the U of U bathroom knowing that vice cops could be there. It was wrong to knowingly set myself up to be in violation  of the law, no matter  how I might feel personally that sodomy laws are just there to harass Gay men and placate heterosexual's insecurities. 

    Anyway when Jeff  came home, he was relieved that I’m not in jail and so we went out shopping for new shoes for him. When in distress go shopping. He wants to buy some shoes for an aerobic class he wants to take at the Deseret Gym. 

    Bobbie Smith and Dave Ball, Todd Bennett and Jimmy Hammato all came by the make sure I was okay.

Additional Material

·         UTAH AIDS FOUNDATION GIVES $13,000 TO COMMUNITY GROUPS The Utah AIDS Foundation marked National AIDS Awareness Day Monday with a press conference to distribute $13,000 to agencies with prevention and service programs. Programs that received the money provide a variety of services, including summer camp for HIV-infected teens, a teen counseling program, and services to help patients make the transition from the hospital to the community. During the half-hour conference, Salt Lake Mayor Palmer DePaulis spoke of "the importance of government taking a lead position" in bringing people together on education and policy issues that surround the deadly illness.The money distributed by the Utah AIDS Foundation was raised during the 1991 Walk for Life, which raised $45,833 this year. The foundation will keep $32,833 for its education programs, client services, crisis counseling, case management, food bank, meal delivery and other programs. This is the first time that a portion of the walk's proceeds have been earmarked for prevention programs, according to Ben Barr, director of the Utah AIDS Foundation.  The People with AIDS Coalition of Utah and the Continuity of Care Program at Holy Cross Hospital were each presented $3,000 checks. The Mountain States Regional Hemophilia Center received $2,000. Five programs were given $1,000 each: Cache Valley AIDS Council, Northern Wasatch AIDS Coalition, Planned Parenthood Association of Utah, YWCA of Salt Lake City and the Utah Stonewall Center. Barr presented an award to the Salvation Army for providing home-delivered meals to AIDS patients, and to the Sun Club, which has allowed the foundation to distribute information on AIDS prevention and helped raise money.  ( Deseret News). [The Horizon House did not receive any of UAF's money]

 

4 December 1991 Wednesday

I went back to work today grateful I still had a job to go back to. We had Christmas Play rehearsals from hell but I think its coming together. Well at least the sets are, and that my main concern. Its an easy play this year because I made sure of that. 

    At home Jeff Workman went to the Deseret Gym to work out so he didn’t make it to the New Moon Craft Night. We made bread dough clay out of white glue and white bread to form little Goddess statues and other totems. It was a fun activity. 

    The faeries who participated were Peanut Butter, Fuku, Gillian, Thunderbeam, and I. Homo Erectus was around but I don’t think he made anything but just watched us. He’s still up in the air about Puck. He’s soooo in love.  He says they are engaged. Popcorn was very skeptical but I’m happy if they are happy. 

    Anyway I made some fat Neolithic Venuses, some roses, a sun symbol, and a toadstool before calling it a night. As part of a business meeting we tossed around ways we all could move to Moab as a commune and what we could do to support our selves there to make money. The idea of a faerie bed and breakfast was interesting. I guess we are going to celebrate Yule with Quick Beam on the 21^st. 

    Becky Moorman called me and wanted me to draw a singing penis for an article in the Bridge. Todd Bennett wrote a scathing letter for the Bridge about the shabby treatment of Allen Ofeldt by the Salt Lake Men’s Choir. Ofeldt who lived in the neighboring court yard died last Saturday of AIDS and had been a lead singer for the choir and was suppose to have performed the next day at the Christmas Concert.  The choir seems very homophobic. 

Additional Material

·         Anonymous tests are ``one of the most important weapons we have in stopping the spread of HIV'' and should get continued government support, a legislative committee was told. That comment was from Ben Barr, director of the Utah AIDS Foundation, who also said Wednesday he wished other AIDS programs worked as well as the anonymous-testing program. A man infected with HIV, addressing the committee, agreed. He found out he was afflicted through the test program, and said a lot of people will not be tested without anonymity. He said society needs the program to protect itself. Since diagnosis, he has followed through by naming his contacts for further health department follow-up.  Sen. Winn L. Richards, D-Morgan, pointed to the estimated 2,400 to 4,000 Utahns who have HIV. The physician said the state will see a 40 percent to 45 percent increase in HIV cases in1991 compared to 1990. ``We are seeing a very dramatic escalation,''  Dr. Richards said. He said that 2 percent of babies in New York City are born with HIV and health departments must be given every weapon available to ``fight the war'' against AIDS. Dr. Richards urged legislators to spend more to fight AIDS. The comments followed a report by Suzanne Dandoy, executive director of the Utah Department of Health, that more people are being tested anonymously. She said the tests are an important tool in the fight against the spread of the deadly disease. Anonymous tests by the Salt Lake City-County Health Department cost $20 and people are not required to give their names. They are, however, required to give personal data such as their age and why they feel they need the test. The department also offers $10 confidential tests in which the subjects are required to give their names and other personal data but the information is, by law, secret. But one lawmaker, Rep. Haynes R. Fuller, D-Eden, reminded legislators of his proposal that was defeated in 1987 that would have by law required everyone in the state be tested for HIV, the virus that causes AIDS.  ``Maybe we all ought to be . . . anonymously tested,'' Mr. Fuller told the Health and Environment Interim Committee. He said the number of cases would be known, under his plan, and every one would find out secretly ``if I'm at risk.'' Dr. Harry Gibbons, director of the Salt Lake City-County Department of Health, said Mr. Fuller's proposal was dangerous, impractical and would prove too costly. Dr. Gibbons said it is ``far more important to counsel'' the public so that individuals can decide if they fall into high-risk categories. ``That legislation increases the possibility of false positive [tests], and that can be devastating,'' Dr. Gibbons said. (SLTribune12/06/91 Page: B13 )

·         Dion Callan France, age 28, of Coalville died of AIDS. He graduated from North Summit High School and University of Utah College of Business. Worked for the Double Tree Corp. in San Diego, California. He loved art, music, genealogy, friends, family and the ocean. December 4 1991 COALVILLE--Our beloved son, brother, grandson and nephew, Dion Callan France 28, died Wednesday December 4, 1991 of AIDS.   He was born November 4, 1963 in Coalville, Utah to Byron Duane and Alice Carol Staples France. He graduated from North Summit High School and University of Utah College of Business. Worked for the Double Tree Corp. in San Diego, California. He loved art, music, genealogy, friends, family and the ocean. He was a friend to all who knew him, and he will be greatly missed. Surviving are his parents, Coalville; grandparents, Chancey and Elaine France, Wanship; Ralph and Violet Judd, Coalville; two sisters, Mrs. Randy (Melisa) Kehr, Layton;Nicole France, Coalville; and his special aunt J'Neil, Salt Lake City. Funeral services will be held Saturday, Dec. 7, 1 p.m. at the Walker Mortuary Chapel in Coalville. Friends may call before the service from 11 a.m. to 12:45 p.m. Interment, Coalville Cemetery. In lieu of flowers, contributions may be made to the Utah AIDS Foundation, 450 South 900 East, SLC UT 84102. T 12/5N 12/5

 

5 December 1991 Thursday

Another tiring day at school. The kids are just too hyper for words. 

    In the evening I went to Unconditional Support with Jeff Workman and Todd Bennett.  We returned the chairs and pillows that Bobbie Smith had borrowed from the Center.  The topic tonight was about The Salt Lake Men’s Choir and Gay Visibility. Michael Bryner led the meeting tonight and we all went out for coffee afterwards.  I really don’t feel comfortable at the Utah Stonewall Center anymore.  There was a guy named Bob at the meeting tonight, who looked a lot like Rocky O’Donovan only cuter, who was a mess; a defender of the Conservative Agenda. What an idiot.

Additional Material

·         Legislature: Interim panel fails to discuss issue. Pignanelli accused of misleading the public.  HATE-CRIME MEASURE ISN'T LIKELY TO PASS UTAH HOUSE By Bob Bernick Jr., Political Editor  Gay men and women will turn their hopes to the Utah House in January, asking that a hate-crime bill deliberately bypassed by an interim study committee be adopted. But the odds aren't good, as Republicans and Democrats alike are questioning the wisdom of Rep. Frank Pignanelli's attempt to give homosexuals a more protected status in criminal attacks. Wednesday, the interim Judiciary Committee adjourned without taking any action on two of Pignanelli's bills. It was last meeting of the year for the committee, so Pignanelli, D-Salt Lake, will take his proposals directly to the House of Representative without the blessing of committee action. Pignanelli wants those who commit crimes against people for racial, ethnic and religious reasons or because of the victim's sexual preference - be given longer sentences. He also wants local law-enforcement agencies to report "hate crimes" as a criminal statistic, which isn't being done now. It's likely the committee wouldn't have approved the bills - even if a vote had been taken - because members from both political parties are opposed to including "sexual preference" in the measures. Rep. Merrill Nelson, R-Grantsville, who said he's concerned Pignanelli's bills have been misunderstood by the public, Wednesday accused Pignanelli of purposely perpetrating a fraud on the public. "There are two great misconceptions (with the bills)," said Nelson. "The first is that homosexuals aren't protected now. They are, just like all of us are protected (against verbal or physical attacks)."  The second, Nelson said, is that Utah is the only state in the nation without a hate-crime law. Pignanelli repeated that claim at the hearing, to which Nelson quickly replied "the masquerade is over, there are only 10 states in the nation which give heightened protection to homosexuals, and only six other states in the contradictory position we'd be in (if Pignanelli's bills pass) of prohibiting sodomy (as Utah does) and protecting homosexuals." Nelson and others argue it makes little sense to outlaw sodomy and then give heightened protection to a group of people who likely practice the criminal act. Pignanelli said he never said all the states include homosexuals as a protected class. But all other states do have hate-crime laws - usually listing race, national origin and religion as deciding factors. Nelson interrupted to say that by not saying other states don't include homosexuals, Pignanelli was confusing the issue. Pignanelli said that statistics in other states show that homosexuals are the targets of most hate-crime attacks, so it doesn't make sense to adopt a hate-crime law without including them. But the Utah Legislature hasn't looked kindly on hate-crime bills before. Traditionally the bills die without even being voted upon. 

·        COMEDY GROUP SLIP UPS PERFORMS DEC. 5-7 The Slip Ups, winners of the Golden Spike Award for "best comedy group" of 1990 and 1991, will perform at 8 p.m. Thursday-Saturday, Dec. 5-7 at Salt Lake Acting Company, 168 W. 500 North, to raise funds for the Utah AIDS Foundation, the People With AIDS Coalition and the Royal Court of the Golden Spike Empire, a gay community organization. In Milli Vanilli lip-sync style, the nine-member ensemble will present "The Slip Ups in Oz," featuring the voices of such celebrities as Bette Davis, Lucille Ball, Tim Curry, Joan Crawford, Diana Ross and Judy Garland as characters from "The Wizard of Oz." The ensemble, an outrageous camp/drag comedy group, consists of Walter Larrabee, Christopher Strong, Mark Angus, Jon Merrill AKA Dixie, Donald Glenn, Garth Snyder, Neil Hoyt, Ron Hume and Debi "Star" Long. Admission is $15 each, with proceeds going to the three sponsoring organizations' Christmas fund, which helps pay rent, obtain food and medications and make utility payments for victims of AIDS. For further information or reservations, contact the Utah AIDS Foundation at 359-5555, the PWA Coalition at 359-9619, the RCGSE at 531-9470 , or the Salt Lake Acting Company box office, 363-0526 (evenings of performances only). 

 

6 December 1991 Friday-

I hope this Christmas Play comes together okay but I am having my doubts. We only have less than two weeks to rehearse. 

    Jeff Workman came home at 6:30 and he took Debbie Rosenberg and I to Gay and Lesbian Community Council of Utah tonight where  elections took place. He didn’t want to attend and went off to his aerobic class at the Deseret Gym. 

    We managed to keep Michael Aaron and David Nelson out of Office.  I had called a bunch of people this week encouraging them to attend GLCCU and to vote for Melissa Sillitoe and Ola Robinson and it paid off.  Michael Aarons was so hungry for the Chair that he even printed campaign flyers!  No one had ever done that before. He is so out of touch with the community we are trying to build based on friendship, loyalty, and trust-not just on politics and special interests.  Well it back fired on him and when Melissa spoke, she lightheartedly said she didn’t know she was suppose to bring a resume.  Her simple sincerity, over shadowed Michael’s ambitious agendas, won the day.  

    Melissa will represent the Gay and Lesbian organizations well while Michael would try to run the council as an independent entity superseding the wishes of the collective organizations which make up the council. So Michael did not achieve another notch on his Gay resume belt because he lost on the 2nd ballot.  The first ballot was 18 to 13.  

    I was really upset with Rocky O’Donovan and Devin Hanson for leaving the meeting before the election and thus didn’t vote.  Fortunately we did not need their votes but we could have.  

    Ola Robinson chose not to run for Vice-Chair after all and so I nominated Alice Drake Hart of the Bridge.  She was elected unopposed but that left David Nelson unopposed as secretary.  

    Earlier in the meeting before the elections, Dale Sorenson made a motion that nominees for GLCCU officers be allowed to stay in the room during the voting.  It had been customary that they leave so members could speak frankly without offending the nominees. I suppose Michael and David were so afraid of what would be said about them in their absence so that they put Dale up to this.  When the motion failed to pass David Nelson, very antagonistically countered with the question, “How are you going to make someone leave who doesn’t want to leave? Because I will not leave!”  His obvious contempt for members of the council was very clear.  

    Well when it became time to nominate people for Secretary I approached everyone I knew who I thought might accept the position to run against David.  I finally asked Curtis Jensen to nominate me as a last resort but fortunately David Ball’s sense of duty kicked in and he agreed to accept the nomination. Curtis Jensen unaware of my getting David Ball to run was about to nominate me but I hushed him in time. When David Ball name was placed in nomination, David Nelson withdrew his. David Ball as a representative of Unconditional Support was then elected Secretary, carrying on the US tradition of service to the council.  

    The election of Michael Aaron and David Nelson would have in my opinion totally transfigured the direction of GLCCU away from being a sounding board for the Gay and Lesbian organizations in the community to being a political organization of its own.  

   The Royal Court representatives even made a motion to scrap the one minute organizations report time limit because it wants the council to go back to its original purpose of sharing. Dale Sorenson, insensitive to the mood of the Royal Court, wanted to table the motion and move it to a Board of Trustee’s meeting. I was aghast! This was the Royal Court’s last attempt to remain within GLCCU and they surely would have pulled out if we would have just shelved the motion without considering its merits.

     Dale was superseded and the motion was voted on and it was passed. Now organizations would have the same amount of time as the GLCCU’s committees, which is three minutes.  

    Officer David Ward, our police liaison, announced that he is being replaced with officer Steve Cheber. Officer Ward was great and will be sorely missed. 

    Today was the 5th anniversary of GLCCU and the last meeting chaired by Brenda Voisard.  Robert Austin and Bobbie Smith were also stepping down after serving two years each.  Robert Austin as vice chair this year tried to make his position more like a co-chair one. 

    After the meeting, Jeff came back to pick me up and a bunch of us went to Bill and Nada’s to celebrate our victory.  We stayed out late celebrating with Becky Moorman, Alice Hart, Bobbie Smith, Robert Olson, David Ball, Jimmy Hamamoto, and Frank Lohmeyer who irritated me by puffing smoke in our faces. He was the only one who smoked and had no consideration for those of us who don’t. 

    The Wolf Moon Cycle begins tonight and we are ready to howl.  

Additional Material

·         The Rev. A. Stephen Pieters, a long-term survivor of AIDS, will be in Salt Lake City for three speaking engagements beginning today. Rev. Pieters, director of the Universal Fellowship of Metropolitan Community Churches in Los Angeles, was diagnosed with AIDS in April 1984. A doctor told him that attendant cases of Kaposi's Sarcoma and stage 4 lymphoma would make it likely that he would die before 1985. When 1985 rolled around, he was not only alive but he took part in an experimental anti-viral drug trial, taking suramin for 39 weeks. While taking the drug, both cancers went into remission. He will speak today at 7 p.m. at the Resurrection Metropolitan Community Church, 823 S. 600 East. He will address the church's congregation Sunday at 11 a.m. Saturday, he will conduct workshops from 10 a.m. until noon and from 1 p.m. to 3 p.m. at the Horizon House, 667 S. 1300 East.  Rev. Pieters has been field director of his church's AIDS ministry in Los Angeles since 1987 and speaks on his belief in God's healing and sustaining power while living with AIDS. He meditates daily, maintains a healthy diet, is a bodybuilder who works out regularly and does not take AZT or aerosolized pentamidine, a drug effective in preventing AIDS pneumonia. The public is invited to the free programs and people who are HIV positive are urged to attend. In the 1980s, the First Unitarian Church supported the Metropolitan Community Church, which serves the gay and lesbian community. (SLTribune 12/06/91  Page: B11)

 

7 December 1991 Saturday

It’s the fiftieth anniversary of the attack on Pearl Harbor and our entrance into World War II. It’s time to forget it an move forward. 

    Jeff Workman and I had stayed out too late  at Bill and Nadas. Anyway we went to PACE because Jeff needed to get bulk candy for his kids. I spent almost $75 on a pair black sweat pants, two movies "King Kong" and the "Name of the Rose" and some groceries. We also went shopping at sSith’s and bought enough groceries to make spinach lasagna and chips and salsa. 

    Jeff was gone most of the afternoon helping Bobbie Smith, Alice Hart-Drake and Becky Moorman at the Rhino Nest while I made Lasagna. 

     I also went over to Todd Bennett’s to type in faerie information into his word processor for the ‘zine. 

    Later in the evening  Jimmy Hamamoto, Robert Olson, Bobbie, Jeff, and  I went to see "Star Trek VI The Unknown Country". It was very good.  

    Jeff and I were in bed by 9:30

 

8 December 1991 Sunday

It was dark at five in the evening and the sun doesn’t even come up over the mountains until nearly eight in the morning. But it won’t be long until the goddess Mary give’s birth to the Sun Christus will be reborn again. 

    I let Jeff Workman sleep in until 9:30 since he seemed to have needed it while I fussed around, made some scrambled eggs, hash browns, ad biscuits and milk gravy. When he smelled breakfast cooking he began to stir. 

    I called Jimmy Hamamoto to come down to join us for breakfast. In the middle of eating, Frank Lohmeyer came by and said he needed a jump off of Jeff's truck as his own battery was dead. Jeff and I had intended to go to a Quaker Meeting but that was spoiled when Frank kept him out there for about forty minutes and it was too late to make it to meeting. 

    David Ball came over and said he was going to some Buddhist festival and while here I fed him the rest of the biscuits and gravy. I am really resentful of Frank’s cavalier use of Jeff’s time. It wasn’t an emergency just his last minute planning. Frank’s van never did start up. 

    Jeff then took me down to KRCL at noon to do two programs with Becky Moss for Concerning Gays and Lesbians. We did our programs mostly on what to do over the holidays. 

    After the show, we went to the Rhino Nest to do some business for The Bridging Out. Blair Lewis and Peter Crane are so hilarious and fun to work with. Anyway I guess office hours will be from 10 a.m. to 11 p.m. and I’m going to help coordinate some volunteers to staff the place. Bobbie Smith has found another project besides his library now; the Rhino Nest. 

    I didn’t get home until four and Jeff was out at the Deseret Gym exercising. The lasagna was in the oven baking which later I brought over to the Church of Star Trek.  There I worked typing in more information for the Faerie ‘Zine until it was time for me to go to KRCL’s Christmas Party at the Art Barn which was held for the volunteers. 

    Jimmy, Jeff and I went to the Christmas Party while Todd Bennett and David Ball went to Affirmation to lead a discussion about the Sacred Faeries. At the KRCL Christmas party, we arrived about 6:15 and we ate dinner there as well as got snockered on rum and eggnog. 

    I saw Maury Modine there. He’s running for the United States Senate on the Libertarian Party ticket. He said he’s announcing his candidacy next Sunday.  I also saw Mark C Jackman and his friend Matt. They said they’d write some wild stuff for the Salt and Sage Yule edition. 

    It was a enjoyable night and I am sure Jimmy had a lot of fun being with his KRCL people. I wonder if Maury was miffed when I teased him about his punctuation on his campaign flier? Oh Well. I think Jeff was having a nice time too was he was enjoying the cool vibe there. 

    We went to bed at 9:30 as we have school tomorrow. Ugh!

Additional Material

·         Sens. Jake Garn and Orrin Hatch have announced the appointment of Michael Murphy a Utah delegate to the 30th Anniversary United States Senate Youth Program in Washington. Murphy, a Salt Lake City resident, is student body president at Judge Memorial High School and a Utah AIDS Foundation volunteer. (12/08/91  Page: B13 SLTribune)

 

9 December 1991 Monday

I was almost comatose this morning from the drinking I did last night. It was a short day with the kids at school but I had to take Eric Dickey to the office because he refused to behave in class. He sat on the floor when I tried to get him to settle down and wouldn't go back to his seat. He is so messed up. I’m going to have to give him plenty of attention along with Dawn. 

    Anyway after school, I came home completely worn out. 

    When Todd Bennett came home from work at seven, I went down to his place and typed until ten at night content for the Faerie ‘Zine on his word processor. We have a lot for the Yule issue for sure. 

    I went to bed at ten but Jeff Workman wanted to fuck me so we made love until eleven.

 

10 December 1991 Tuesday

I’m worn out by hyper kids. I kept eight of my kids, a fourth of my students, after school to call their parents for their disruptive behavior in class. 

    In the evening I just stayed home and tried to watch "The Name of the Rose",  a murder mystery that takes place among monks in medieval times, but kept getting interrupted. Susan McCoy called wanting to visit. She said she is getting a divorce from Floyd finally. 

    Jeff Workman dropped my keys to the van off to Beauchaine as I gave it to him. It's no good for me and he said he had some who could fix it so he can use it for his catering business. 

    I was going to type on the ‘Zine but Todd Bennett was so late getting home that it didn’t pan out. 

    The Central Soviet government Is failing and Belorussia, the Ukraine, and Russia have formed a type of Commonwealth.

 

11 December 1991 Wednesday

We did rehearsals for the Christmas play all day. That’s all we do anymore, Mrs. Day’s pet project. 

    At home while walking to the post office, I slipped on some ice and fell. I sprained my wrist and hand a little. In the mail I got three videos, "The Great Race", "Auntie Mame", and "It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World". I also got a CD of the Chiffons' greatest hits. "Sweet Talking Guy" is like my theme for boyfriends. 

    Jeff Workman and I just stayed home and watched It’s a Mad World. 

    Todd Bennett went out to see Michael Bryner who’s in the hospital with pneumonia. 

    I hear North and South Korea have peace talks scheduled to end the Korean War that’s been going on for 40 years. 

 

12 December 1991 Thursday-

Jeff Workman, I think, is really sick with the flu. He went in for half a day but came home and he was in bed feeling miserable when I came home. He was burning up with fever so I sponged bathed him to cool him off. 

    I only left him to go to Unconditional Support tonight because Michael Bryner is still hospitalized and couldn’t run the meeting. Todd Bennett took me and there was only a small turn out tonight, Bob Manchertz from Wendover, Todd Bennett, Dave Ball, Frank Lohmeyer, myself, and a guy named Ron Trujillo, who I think is mildly retarded but easy going.  We talked about the Salt Lake’s Men Choir again and its non supportive attitude to the Gay community.  

    Todd and I are pissed that the Utah Stonewall Center won’t help fund the library. Bobbie Smith said that the Utah Stonewall Center won’t fund any of the library’s needs or projects or help him out ny putting him on a payroll even though Melissa Sillitoe and Lisa Romano are drawing a salary.

 

13 December 1991-Friday-

It was another long day because right after work I had to go see Dr. Card again at five. He said that two more visits should satisfy the court. So I made an appointment for December 31^st at 10 in the morning and I will have to wait until after the new year to schedule the next one in January. I’ll end up having paid Card $459 by the time I am through. I’ve already paid Cox $500. Who knows what Van Scriver will extort from me. 

    Jeff Workman picked me up after my session. He was feeling a tad bit better even though he took another day off to recoop. We stayed home this evening and watched “The Great Race”

Additional Material

·         The Utah AIDS Foundation will start the new year with a 400 percent increase in clients and a 10 to 20 percent budget cut. Some private grants have run out and the state isn't picking up the slack, says foundation director Ben Barr. Most of the 400 active clients make less than $700 a month.

·         If Queer Nation thinks it can make us accept homosexuality by rubbing our noses in its public displays, it has made a serious mistake. It's as if dog owners suddenly decided that the public would more readily accept dog mess all over the sidewalks if there were more of it and if it were more visible. In either case, more of it doesn't make it stink less! If I and my family are ``treated'' to any of these demonstrations, I will certainly take the opportunity to teach my children once again that God has condemned that ``lifestyle'' in easily understood terms. DONALD B. GUNDERSON Salt Lake City 12/13/91  Page: A41

 

14 December 1991 Saturday

Morningstar is still sick with the flu but he felt better long enough for us to drive to Layton to drop off the ‘Zine content disc for John “Dark Feather” Bundy however that was a wasted effort as John ended up having to come down to Salt Lake anyway. He brought his computer down to input the ‘zine into his Page Maker program on his Macintosh. 

    I made pizza for Fuku, Morningstar, Dark Feather and I as we worked on the ‘Zine all night using Page Maker. We didn’t finish up until one thirty in the morning. Morningstar and Fuku watched Auntie Mame while Dark Feather and I worked. It was thrilling seeing the pages come together. It’s a better issue than our first attempt, I think.

 

15 December 1991 Sunday

It was a busy, busy, busy day.  John Bundy spent the night at my place so we could work on the ‘zine today. 

    Yesterday was Curtis Jensen’s Christmas Party and we all missed it. He throws such great parties too. 

    After fixing breakfast, we continued working on the ‘zine while Jason Demmick came over for me to read his medicine cards. He chose as his faerie name Red Coyote. His cards were Grouse, Butterfly, Hawk, Raven, Coyote, Fox, Lizard, Otter, and Dolphin. Typical cards for those who are attracted to the Sacred Faeries. Red Coyote’s main totem is the Lizard which stands for conservation of energies. 

    Later today, Jimmy "Fuku" Hamamoto borrowed my cards to do a reading for this guy named Eric from Ogden. His main totem was the Whale. We never ever had anyone pull that card before. The Whale is a symbol for providing wisdom. 

    At two some of us took a break, and Jimmy, John, Jeff, and I went to Maurey Modine’s his candidacy announcement for United States Senate  at First Amendment Park. About fifty of us attended.

     When we were through there we went back to the apartment and made a master laser disc of our ‘Zine. 

    Then we went to Smokey’s Records where each of us won a record they were giving a way free. Cool!  

    Finally we attended the Church of Star Trek as that Todd Bennett and Mike Pipkin were home from Moab.  Bobbie Smith has been working the past couple of days doing catering work for Beauchaine.

   Well, Well, well, so Puck is back. I hope it will work out between the lovebirds. People do change. It felt like a short weekend with all we accomplished. One more week before school is out for Christmas Break.

 

16 December 1991 Monday

We practiced our Christmas Play all morning and at two Mrs. Cutler and her fiancée came in to talk about Eric Dickey’s behavior in class. He’s been so out of control. I had to separate him from others because he’s so disruptive. We started on the paper work to get him into a special behavior class where he can get more specialized treatment. 

    At home Jeff Workman didn’t have to go toh is in service class tonight so he was home early. He said he had a really bad day at work too because his principal attitude toward him, so we jut stayed home and went to bed early to forget this day. 

    The Soviet Union is totally dissolved and I guess it will become a commonwealth of independent states.

 

17 December 1991 Tuesday

I have a migraine from Eric Dickey today. The last twenty minutes of the day he sat on the floor, shredded paper, and barked like a dog. I was on the verge of a break down myself. His folks came in at three when we met with Mrs. Green, the district’s social worker and we talked about what we can do for Eric. Then Mr. Stanger laid into Eric which was not helpful at all. I am at my wits end. 

    At home  Jeff and I went to the O.P. Club to print the Yule Salt and Sage. Molly Mormon was the clerk who ran off our copies and she scowled the whole time but who cares? It cost us $34 this time to make 100 copes because this issue was so much bigger. I paid for it and Jeff  helped fold and staple.

 

18 December 1991 Wednesday

My headache is a bit better. At school Eric Dickey acted up so much uring the Woods Cross High School Madrigal assembly but I managed to calm him down for the performance of the Christmas Play which went pretty well. I came right home and straightened up the house for this 20 year old kid ,named Trent, who came over to have his medicine cards read. His main totem was the Moose representing being headstrong, having longevity, and steadfastness. I don’t know Trent very well. He’s someone who attends Affirmation and the Youth Group who heard about the Faeries from the presentation David Ball and Todd Bennett gave a while ago at Affirmation. 

    Jeff  and I went out and delivered issues of the Yule Salt and Sage to Randy “Niassa” Wangreen, Randy Holladay, Tom “Dyal Singh” Hennacy, and Scott “Jasper Nightshade” Spinks. 

    I love Jeff so much. I can’t believe how much. 

    The Soviet Union will cease to exist after the New Year md Gorbachev is going to resign. The new nation will be called the Commonwealth of Independent States. 

    Rocky O’Donovan was in the newspaper today about his being part of Queer Nation and being excommunicated from the LDS Church. 

    The Bridge's Rhino Nest’s Grand Opening is this weekend.

Additional Material

·         QUEER NATION UTAH leader Rocky O'Donovan partially got what he wanted from the LDS Church. Church officials granted his request to be excommunicated, but informed him of the action by letter in lieu of the traditional hearing before Mormon officials. So he didn't get to give a speech. O'Donovan, 30, served a mission to Brazil, was married in an LDS Temple and recently became a Quaker. Still, he was incensed that he was deprived of his soap box. Queer Nation is a gay-rights group. Members picketed the spring LDS Conference, protested gay bashing and marched in front of radio station KTKK because disc jockey Jim Kirkwood supposedly made anti-gay statements.  In a letter released by O'Donovan, Salt Lake City Stake President Paul A. Hanks announced his excommunication but implored O'Donovan to reconsider. - (12/18/91  Page: C1 )

 

19 December 1991 Thursday

This is the day I’ve been dreading. Our Christmas Play extravaganza. A cast of 1000, well at least 95, an all singing, all dancing musical revue. We put it on first at 1:15 for the upper grades. The sixth graders are a hard audience to play to as they were in a play last year and more critical and more bored. The lower grades were more appreciative. 

    When I came home from work I was exhausted but Jeff Workman was a frisky puppy and wanted too fuck so we did until 5:30 when I had to head back up to school for the evening performance for the parents. It’s why Mrs. Day does these for the good P.R. Parents are so proud of their Jacks and Jills singing and dancing. 

    At the last minute Becky Moorman called and wanted to borrow Jeff’s truck so we went over to the Rhino Nest and we switched vehicles. They are going nuts with their Rhino Nest Grand Opening tomorrow. 

    Anyway we were up at Orchard by 6:15 and the kids were so hyper and bouncing off the wall with all their parents out front. I was behind the stage, doing the lights, and controlling the kids while they waited to go on stage. On the program, it printed the Fifth Grade’s teachers names as “Mrs. Day, Mrs. George, and Mrs. Williams”. Ha! 

   Well the kids are great as they usually are for their parents. The performance went well without a hitch and Mrs. Day was in all her glory. All I cared about was that it was over for one more year.  I really appreciated Jeff being out in the audience.

    We left school at eight and went over to the Utah Stonewall Center to see what was happening with Unconditional Support. Only Frank Lohmeyer was there of  all the officers

 

20 December 1991 Friday

I needed a whip and a chair to tame my class today. Anyway we had an assembly in the morning, a class Christmas party in the afternoon, and at the end of the day a school wide sing along  that lasted a half hour so the day was spent pretty much baby-sitting. Gawd I need this winter break.

J    eff Workman and I stayed up late last night making little candy packages to hand out to both our students for Christmas Treats. I received more gifts this year than I ever had before. I lugged so much Christmas junk home on the bus that I forgot to bring home papers to grade over the holiday. Oh well! Jeff made out like a bandid too. In fact a student of his even gave him a nice watch! 

    In the evening Jeff  and I went to the grand opening of The Rhino Nest which is now a Gay and Lesbian bookstore, art gallery, and home office for the Bridge Magazine. The art of Ben Altman was premiered. It’s amazing all the hard work that Bobbie Smith, Troy Lunt, and others did for Becky Moorman and Alice Drake, into making the Rhino Nest a reality. Becky wanted some of our Salt and Sage ‘Zines to sell for $2 a copy. 

    The Ben Altman’s art show was a cheese and wine affair but Jeff and I were so tired from such a hectic day in our classrooms that we just went home to bed by ten.

Additional Material

·         NO ROOM FOR ANTI-GAY PREJUDICE To the editor: KSL recently conducted a poll asking if homosexuals in Utah should be protected under the law from "hate crimes," which law already protects people of a different race, creed or religion. The results: 42 percent agreed they should be protected - 42 percent felt they should not. I'm LDS. The only reason I mention my religion is if this many people in Utah felt that homosexuals should not be protected from hate crimes, then quite a few of them are either LDS or of some other Christian faith. There is no room for this type of prejudice in our faith or any other. If any of us find ourselves condemning homosexuality, we should remember that this is not our job. We must pray for them and love them, placing them in God's divine hands instead of our own human ones, and never deny them protection from something as horrendous and anti-Christian as a "hate crime." Helen Selander Roy

 

21 December 1991 Saturday

It is the first day of our winter vacation and it was jammed packed.  There was no way I could get the apartment ready for a Full Moon Gathering tonight so Todd Bennett and Bobbie Smith agreed to host it at their place at the end Delmar Court. 

    Mike “Puck” Pipkin is staying with Todd now and has really festively decorated their place with pine bowers and poinsettias and glitz. 

    Anyway before the Gathering, I read Harold Jones’ friend, Carl, his medicine cards and did some other errands.  I dropped off some Salt and Sage ‘zines at Debbie “Applestar” Rosenberg and Carla “Spirit Dancer” Gourdin’s house for their womyn celebration tonight.

     I also made apple crisp with cinnamon red hots in it for the Quick Beam Gathering we are also going to attend. At five thirty, faeries started arriving at my apartment as that Puck wanted folks to change into their faerie gear here before walking down to Gillian’s place. 

    Faeries who attended the Wolf Moon Gathering were Morningstar acting as the Pillar, Gillian, Red Coyote, Popcorn, Silver Fox, Anzio, Puck, Homo Erectus, Fuku, Dolphin, Thunderbeam, Peanut Butter, Ceo Kjammi, and surprisingly Kyle Sky Bear. I was very surprised to see him at the circle as he had made his intentions known that he didn’t want to be associated with the Sacred Faeries anymore so it was a unique occasion to have the three founding faeries present at the Wolf Moon and Yule Gathering. 

    While Morningstar was the Pillar, Puck more or less led the full moon gathering. Morningstar however led us in some visualizations and indeed it was a magical circle. We closed the circle at seven thirty to prepare to attend the Quick Beam Circle, who were hosting their Winter Solstice Celebration in a warehouse next to Squatters across from Bandaloops on 3^rd South. 

    We all walked in full faerie drag down 3^rd South to the warehouse which was just over a block from Le France and Delmar Court. There, nearly 250 pagans were gathered in one spot from various covens, circles and many solitary practitioners. Most participants were in medieval drag. 

    The Quick Beam Yule celebration was orchestrated mainly by womyn and non Gay women. To tell the truth, the heterosexual men were kind of duds and I was not pleased that the heteroes symbolically kill the old Sun King to usher in the new Sun King. We faeries don’t hold to that tradition. We let the Sun die of simple old age and spiritually return to the Mother for a renewal as a natural process of the Reincarnation Cycle. Violence has no place in our tradition. But all in all the singing and dancing and feasting was enjoyable powerful, and compelling and I am glad we went.

 

22 December 1991 Sunday

Jeff Workman went shopping yesterday, the sweet thing, and bought me some Reebox gym shoes and some bear-claw house slippers which I now wear everywhere. 

    Much of today was spent recovering from yesterday's frantic celebrations. Well the days are now bound to get longer with the rebirth of the sun Christus from Mother Mary Isis. 

    I went over to the Rhino Next to hang out for a while. There I bought a Chris Williamson’s cassette tape “Changer and the Changed”. 

    Afterwards I went to the Church of Star Trek at five. Jeff felt obligated to go over to Jackie's to make arrangements to help her move out of her place and was gone most of the day. He had been paying half her rent even though he never stayed there because he felt guilty moving in with me rather than with her. 

    I guess some of the faeries will be going to the hot springs in Diamond Fork Canyon on Christmas Eve.  We of course won’t be around as Jeff and I are going down to Arizona to see my folks. 

    I think there is trouble in paradise with Homo Erectus and Puck as that Puck is saying he wants to “transcend sex” and be celibate. Get real. I wonder how long they were going to last.

 

23 December 1991 Monday

Jeff Workman and I were on the road by ten thirty this morning heading south towards Arizona, The weather was good and we had no trouble at all along the way. I pulled $400 out of the bank and gave Jeff $100 of it for pocket money since we didn’t have time to stop at his bank. I didn’t want him to think he had to depend on me for spending cash. 

    At Nephi we crossed over to Levan and down through  Gunnison where we took Highway 89 down to Kanab. The red rock country down there was spectacular. At Kanab we went south to Freedonia which took us up 8000 feet elevation near Jacob Lake but fortunately there was little or no snow and ice. We both had never traveled to Arizona this way before so it was all new to us. 

    The sun went down a little after we came down from the Kanab Mountains so we couldn't see any more of the scenery. We drove the rest of the way straight into Prescott where we located Mom’s new house about nine thirty at night. So it takes about eleven hours to get here from Salt Lake City. 

    My sister Charline and her husband Dennis were already at Mom’s. We stayed up and visited a little but by Ten thirty we all went to bed. 

    Mom and Dad were very cordial and nice to Jeff and I didn’t expect them to be any other way. We were put together in the same bedroom. Naturally.

 

24 December 1991 Tuesday Christmas Eve

Now that it was day light I saw that mom and dad have a beautiful house with a beautiful view of cedar and pine covered rolling hills. They have a wrap around balcony back deck that over looks an arroyo where they sit and see all kinds of wild critters. I am really happy for them and so much better than being out in the Victorville desert. What a beautiful place to retire. 

    Since Charline and Dennis have to leave out tomorrow, we had Christmas Dinner tonight and opened our presents up today. Jeff and I had gone to Wal-Mart and I bought Mom and Dad some winter gloves, scarves, a hat to keep them warm now they are in the high country where it snows. Forty years of living in Southern California hasn’t prepared them for the snowy weather.  

    Mom and Dad both got me and Jeff presents too. That was sweet and thoughtful. 

    My uncle and aunt, Milton and Marie Williams, also came over for Christmas dinner. They had just finished moving into Sedona about a week ago so I am sure they feel like they are both in a whirlwind. They expect my cousin Stephanie Williams to come in tomorrow from California.  It was nice sitting around with the folks.  

    In the evening, Mom and Dad took us into Prescott to see the lights and to look around. I guess Prescott was at one time a territorial capital of Arizona. 

    I think mom and dad are happen here in Prescott and that's al that counts. So far they have been nothing but gracious to Jeff. I wonder what they truly think though. It must seem strange and queer to see me with a man and not a wife.

 

25 December 1991 Wednesday Christmas Day

Charline and Dennis left for California this morning and Jeff and I drove to Sedona to see the area and visit more with Milton and Marie. 

    Sedona is strange and beautiful. It is a land of mystical enchantment with magnificently colored red rock formations that are breath taking. While I can see why Milton and Marie would want to live here, I can also understand why Mom and Dad would prefer the green hills of Prescott to the red rocks of Sedona. 

    The town was all closed up for Christmas Day but it did not seem to be the New Age enclave that I imagine it to be. Milton and Marie showed us the lot where they are going to build their home. It’s beautiful and yet poor old Marie has to find something wrong with it. 

    After leaving them, Jeff and I drove around the countryside on some back roads. It was a nice way to spend Christmas day tooling around beautiful Sedona. We headed back to Prescott in the late afternoon and spent the rest of the evening, resting and visiting with Mom and Dad as we are leaving out tomorrow.

     I spoke to my nephew James yesterday on the phone. He’s out of jail now and he says he’s learned his lesson about taking drugs. My sweet crazy family.

 

26 December 1991 Thursday

We said our goodbyes and left Mom and Dad’s place at eight this morning so we could get an early start. Jeff wanted to stop and see the Grand Canyon while we are down here. 

    We spent two hours in the National Park surrounded by Mother Nature’s incredible natural magnificence. And hundreds of Japanese tourists! Ha! We stopped at all the scenic turnouts with Jeff snapping away with his camera. I don’t take pictures. I am not sure why but Jeff is good at documenting everything. Deer kept crossing in front of the truck and they were so elegant. 

    We didn’t get out of the park until after 1:30 and we then drove through the Navajo Nation to Page, Arizona were we stopped for a late lunch or early dinner. I hadn’t been to Page since November 1973, when Marta, Piper, Richard and I climbed down the side of Gen Canyon to the river bottom. Anyway, we hit fog at Cedar City and drove home in fog most of the way into the city. It was so good to be back in Salt Lake no matter how small and humble. 

    It was a good road trip for Jeff and me and it showed that we travel well together.

 

27 December 1991 Friday

We lost another day because both Jeff Workman  and I were so exhausted and tired from traveling that we just stayed home and wallowed in our little love nest. The only time we ventured out was to go grocery shopping and that was about it.

     Jeff had several messages from the Stratford wanting him to work relief and I had a message form Fran wishing me a merry Christmas. Faeries kept dropping by at LeFrance all day to visit with Morningstar and me and to see how out trip was to Arizona so that Jeff could meet my folks. 

    We are toying with the idea of renting the Donovan House on 2^nd West and turning it into a Faerie House. It kind of catches the imagination. 

    It is so foggy and gloomy here in Salt Lake . It’s so depressing after the crystal blue clear skies of Arizona.

 

28 December 1991 Saturday

I talked to John reeves today and with Fran to see how their Christmases were. I hadn't spoken with Fran in months.  I told Fran about Jeff Workman and our relationship and how we went down to Arizona for Christmas so Mom and Dad could me him. I guess she finally had her back surgery this past autumn. I guess also she is back with Vince again and all is the same. 

    John Reeves invited his friends from his support group over for Christmas  dinner so he wasn’t alone either. I told him I would mail him a copy of the book “Peculiar People”. So I’ve got to do that soon. 

    I cleaned the place much of the day while Jeff spent most of his over at Jackie's helping her move items with his truck. He finally moved the rest of his things into  our apartment so he is at last completely moved in. I had to move things around to find a place for all his books and his personal stuff  but as he didn’t have any furniture it was all good. 

    Over at the Rhino Nest I bought three more cassette music tapes; this  time all of Tom Wilson stuff. 

    I’m not feeling well. Kind of sick to my stomach. 

Additional Material

·         Page: B4 OFFICIAL SAYS 10 OF CULT'S 30 YOUTHS WERE ABUSED   OGDEN -- Arvin Shreeve, the polygamist cult leader sentenced to 20 years in prison this week for sexually abusing young girls, supposedly founded the child abuse-Centered sect about 10 years ago. At its peak, there were about 70 members.   Of the followers, 30 or so were children when police raided the compound August 9 of this year.   According to Weber County Attorney Reed Richards, 10 of the children, all girls, are known to have been molested. Initially, Shreeve was charged with sexual abuse of boys, too, but those charges were amended to name only females when Shreeve showed himself more amenable to admitting to molesting girls rather than boys.

 

29 December 1991 Sunday

I had symptoms of a stomach flu for most of the day. Jeff Workman pampered me. He went to the store and checked out "Terminator I "and "Terminator II" so we stayed home this evening and watched them with Jimmy Hamamaoto. 

    Todd Bennett has been on a weekend date with Eric “Anzio” from Ogden and now Mike Pipkin is feeling left out in the cold but unfortunately it’s his own fault. Celibate? Really? He’s back to drinking too much and being his old compulsive self. Puck says he’s hurt and I tried to talk him into moving back to Moab where he’s better off if he wants to be transcendent and ephemeral.

 

30 December 1991 Monday

I am feeling much better today. Jeff Workman found out that his sister Diane is in town and he went out to see her. She was divorced but is back visiting her kids. 

    I guess Mike “Puck” Pipkin and Todd “Homo Erectus” Bennett  are through and no longer an item. The engagement is off,. It’s just a matter of how to get Puck out of Gillian’s apartment. 

    Bobbie Smith mention that when Craig Miller resigns in March, Ben Barr might take his place. 

    This vacation time is zooming by and we don’t seem to be accomplishing much except to get fatter/

 

31 December 1991 Tuesday New Year Eve

Jeff and I went shopping with Bobbie Smith for tonight's get together and to the Gypsy Moon Emporium on 9^th South to purchase some incense for tomorrow’s craft night. 

    Jeff had to work at the Stratford tonight because he agreed to cover someone’s shift. Since he wont be here tonight I just planned staying home by myself. 

    I did read Van Summerhill of Ogdeb, his medicine cards from seven until nine with Butterfly being his main totem.  It represents metamorphosis and transformation. A good card for a new year of change.

     Then some of the faeries came by to whisked me off to Debbie Rosenberg and Carla Gourdin for a little get together before the year ends. We stayed until eleven and then I went home and waited by the phone for Jeff to call me at midnight. When he did we told each other we loved each other and Happy New Years. 

    And so ends 1991 and the Soviet Union. "It was the best of times and the worse of times." 

Additional Material

·         University of Utah adds sexual orientation to its ant-discrimination policy. Rocky O'Donovan is instrumental in making sure sexual orientation was included in the policy.