Winter First Quarter Journal 1990 January-March

 MARCH 1990

1 March 1990 Thursday

The kids were so hyper today , I think because the weather is so nice, at least for this week and spring is in the air. I was paid $875.90 today and received a $59 career ladder day stipend. I deposited them both in my checking account when I got off work. Mike Pipkin was home early again. Anyway, in the evening I went to the Gay and Lesbian Community Council for the first time since December. I couldn’t vote on any proposals  as I wasn’t a paid member anymore but I made my opinions known. I suggested that for Lagoon Day we go under the banner The Stonewall Center which is a subcommittee of the council. They were fussing whether to even attend Lagoon this year because they wouldn’t let us use the words Gay and Lesbian. Since I wasn’t a voting member I couldn’t  make a motion  so Steve Andrus, who is a member, did, and it passed. Also, the council voted to adopt the Gay Information Line that Unconditional Support has paid for, for the last two years. I’m glad that was taken over and not just dropped. Greg Garcia of the Wasatch Leather Men Club said it was a function that the council  should have been supporting all along. It was good to see the Gay Information line I created  finally being taken care of properly . I heard some awful news that Mark Lamar had called Robert Austin at the Utah AIDS Foundation to ask hm to announce at the meeting that Mark had tested HIV positive. I hope this is just another one of Mark’s paranoid schizophrenic attacks but I am afraid it might be true. I haven’t had time to process this information yet  but at the meeting, when I wasn’t actively engaged in the discussions, I could feel melancholy sweep over me from the news.  It was a good meeting. Robert Austin, Chuck Whyte, and Bobbie Smith are doing a hell of a better job than we did, but we were good care takers. Tonight, we also voted to move council meetings from Thursdays to Fridays starting in May. They will be the first Friday in each month from now on. I think it’s a better night with less conflicts and will not be competing with MCC’s spaghetti dinner nights. The Stonewall Town Metting became an official member tonight with Debbie Rosenberg, Bob Waldrop, and David Nelson as its voting representatives. Robert Austin asked me if I would consider joining the council at a prorated cost of $4 so I could vote and participate  until I leave the state. I probably will. I helped Bobbie Smith move the councils computer from the church basement over to his place and it was a heavy mother fucker. I didn’t get home until about 10:15  and was so keyed up that it was after 10:30 that I was finally able to drop off to sleep. Well March is certainly coming in like a lamb and not a lion. My liver is a little sore again. I wonder if my hepatitis is acting up again. I’ve decided  to stop drinking alcohol altogether. I don’t drink that much anyways; once in a Blue Moon but I can’t afford the damage it can do to me. Should I give up sex for a while too?  In the news Donald Trump complained that heterosexual politicians are afraid to admit to being straight for fear of losing the Gay vote. Also, Lance Wood’s trial for participating in the murder of Gorden Church starts this week.

·         Addendum-WOOD DENIED KILLING STUDENT, FIANCE TESTIFIES By Lane Williams, Staff Writer Deseret News  Lance Conway Wood's fiancé testified Wednesday that the defendant told her Michael Anthony Archuleta had killed Gordon Ray Church, but he did not participate. Under questioning from prosecutor Carvel Harward, Brenda Stapley said Wood, 21, called her late on Nov. 22, 1988, the same day Church was murdered. According to testimony in 4th District Court before Judge Boyd L. Park, Wood had just talked to his friend Anthony Siech and was about to go with a parole officer to the authorities to discuss the murder. "You could tell something was wrong," Stapley said of Wood's tone of voice when she first picked up the phone. "I thought he was on drugs or something." Wood asked Stapley to think of the worst thing that could have possibly happened, Stapley said. Then Stapley said she asked if he had killed anyone. Wood then told her "no," but said Archuleta had, Stapley testified. On Nov. 23, Wood led authorities to the crime scene in remote Dog Valley near I-15 in Millard County, where Church's body was found covered with leaves and branches. Defense attorney Marcus Taylor said he intends to show that Wood did not participate in the killing and only helped Archuleta, 27, hide the body. Wood told Siech he was in the car during the torture-slaying, Siech told the 10-woman, two-man jury Tuesday. Prosecutors Harward and Warren Peterson said they intend to show inconsistencies in Wood's early testimony to investigators and that the two men were responsible for the killing. Archuleta was arrested early Nov. 23, 1988. Wood was arrested on Nov. 25 after further investigation. Archuleta was convicted of murder in the case in December and sentenced to death. Archuleta, who blamed the murder on Wood, will likely testify for prosecutors. Millard County Sheriff's Deputy Robert Dekker said Wood's clothes had blood on them. Dekker chillingly testified of finding Church's body. It was nude from the waist down and draped in chains. Dekker had met Church before the killing and had his driver's license but could not identify the body because of extensive head injuries, blood, and dirt.

·         WOOD `WATCHED' MURDER A close friend of Lance Conway Wood said the defendant told him shortly after the murder of Gordon Ray Church that Wood watched as Michael Anthony Archuleta killed the 28-year-old Southern Utah State College student. Under questioning from prosecutor Carvel Harward, Anthony Siech testified that Wood came to his apartment late Nov. 22, 1988. Siech said Wood looked exhausted and was shaking. He quoted Wood as saying, "Mike (Archuleta) killed a guy." Wood led investigators to Church's beaten, half-nude body, which was covered with leaves and branches, on Nov. 23, 1988. Church was murdered early in the morning of Nov. 22. Defense attorneys intend to show that Wood watched while Archuleta committed the crime - a similar defense to Archuleta's. Prosecutors intend to show that both men participated in the torture slaying. Archuleta was found guilty in December in the slaying and was sentenced to death. (Deseret News)

2 March 1990 Friday

It was a gloomy overcast day when yesterday was so nice. I am so glad it’s Friday. I paid rent today $378 so it did go up some, and I wrote a check to Marjean Allen for $320 for the Vanna Lesbiana. I also went grocery shopping and pulled out $10 in cash for the weekend. I bought $30 worth of groceries to go on a diet. The only things I bought were Slim Fast, Skim milk, seven frozen diet vegetarian dinners mainly. I am going on a 7 day Slim Fast  diet to see if it really works.  I went up to the U of U to sit in the sauna this evening. I also went to Liberty Park where I saw Mike Pipkins’ old boyfriend Brandon Burt cruising in his car. We visited until the park closed  at 11  then I went home to bed as I was really tired. Mike  said he didn’t get paid today but would pay me his rent on Monday. I think something is fishy.

·         Addendum ARCHULETA DECIDES NOT TO TESTIFY AT WOOD'S TRIAL By Michael Morris, Staff Writer Michael Anthony Archuleta, convicted three months ago of first-degree murder and sentenced to die, decided Thursday not to testify against co-defendant Lance Conway Wood.  Archuleta had been scheduled to testify in the trial of Wood, also charged in the torture slaying Nov. 22, 1988, of Gordon Ray Church, 28. Archuleta was brought to the Utah County Courthouse from the Utah State Prison Thursday morning, but following advice from his attorney, Brent Bullock, he backed down at the last minute. Asked whether any kind of a deal had been struck with Archuleta for his testimony against Wood, prosecutor Carvel Harward said, "Absolutely none. Won't. Can't. He hasn't asked for any (deal) either." Because Archuleta's conviction and death sentence is on appeal to the Utah Supreme Court, Bullock persuaded his client that taking the witness stand against Wood wouldn't be in his best interest. Archuleta took the stand in his own defense during his trial in December, downplaying his role in Church's murder. He said Wood was the real perpetrator. But witnesses this week testified that Wood, who notified authorities of the killing and led investigators to Church's body, told them Archuleta killed the victim by himself. Prosecutors hope to convince the jury that Wood played an active part in the killing. Fourth District Judge Boyd L. Park told jurors not to draw any conclusion "one way or the other" over Archuleta's decision not to testify. (Deseret News)

3 March 1990 Saturday

I woke up at 7:30 this morning and for some reason I wanted to go to the Wasatch Springs so I did. I met these two Gay men there who were really interesting and for some reason, also they need to talk to someone like me. So, chalk it up to the Gay Spirit’s prompting. It was lightly sprinkling this morning but very pleasant soaking in the warm waters . I stayed  at the springs until nearly noon, then came  home to get cleaned up. I asked Mike Pipkin if he wanted to go up to the sauna with me and he did. There  we saw Stuart, Jim Hunsaker’s old boyfriend. He’s a sweet man and it was fun getting to know him better. He’s a lawyer or at least in law school to become a lawyer.  Mike and I didn’t stay real long because I had  to get home to get ready for the Stonewall Town Meeting. I really want to resign as record keeper because I keep lousy minutes but we’ll see. It was a small turn out with only Doug Wortham, Rocky O’Donovan, Bobbie Smith, Curtis Jensen, Val Mansfield, David Nelson, Andy Dalrymple, Jeff Wood, and Debbie Rosenberg who showed up late. She apologized for spacing it off so I ended up facilitating most of the meeting.  We voted to accept David Nelson’s statement of purpose and to finance David’s political process pamphlets and do a subscription type of fundraiser. We envisioned  forming a committee of 50 or 500 people who would donate X amount of dollars every month for political purposes. Anyway, after the meeting, Jeff Wood and I made plans to go see “Safe Sex”, a three act play by Harvey Fierstein up at the U of U Theater Lab.  We almost didn’t get in because Jeff made us late, but he pulled it off and got us some tickets. I was really disappointed at first because I really wanted to see it and was upset that we might have missed out. The play as really good, especially “Untidy Endings” and “Safe Sex”.  The actor Chris Borg is really good I mean really good. I started my slim fast  diet today. It ain’t easy. Jeff wanted to go out for some ice cream. I just wanted to come back home. Mike was out with some trick. I guess he and Richard broke up.  Sitting with Jeff on the couch I fell asleep and not sure when Jeff left  

·         Addendum-VIDEO INTERVIEW IS SHOWN IN MURDER TRIAL  WOOD TOLD DEPUTIES HE WATCHED KILLING FROM CAR, BUT SOME EVIDENCE CONFLICTS By Lane Williams, Staff Writer Lance Conway Wood told investigators that he watched from a car while Michael Anthony Archuleta first sodomized and later murdered a Southern Utah State College student. But the information conflicts with some evidence presented at the trial and with testimony from Archuleta's trial in December. In a videotaped interview with Millard County deputy sheriffs, Wood, 21, said he, Archuleta and Gordon Ray Church were driving to Salt Lake City when, apparently without warning, Archuleta took a knife and slashed Church's throat. The videotape was shown during the fifth day of testimony in Wood's trial for Church's murder. It was made along I-15 and at the murder scene on Nov. 24, 1988, two days after the murder and one day after Wood went to investigators and led them to Church's body. In the videotape, deputies and Wood are driving just north of the I-70 interchange. There, Wood said Archuleta slashed Church's neck and Church said something like, "ow" or "ouch," the defendant claimed. Wood said he did not remember any words that preceded the sudden slashing. Wood said Church stopped the car and got out with Archuleta. Archuleta then sodomized Church in the emergency lane of the freeway, late at night, on the hood of the car. Wood said that Church remained still while Archuleta got chains and jumper cables from the trunk and tied Church up. Archuleta then forced Church into the trunk, Wood said. But prosecutors hope to show that Church's neck was slashed and he was tied up in Cedar Canyon near Cedar City. During his own trial, Archuleta said it was Wood who slashed Church's neck in Cedar Canyon. Friday, prosecutors presented botanical evidence to link the defendant to Cedar Canyon. Archuleta was supposed to appear as a prosecution witness Thursday. Officials brought him to 4th District Court from the state prison, but under the advice of his attorney, he decided not to testify. Archuleta was found guilty of capital homicide in December and sentenced to die. His case is on appeal to the state Supreme Court. In Wood's videotape, the defendant said Archuleta took the next exit, Dog Valley, drove about a half mile from the freeway and stopped. Church, he said, was pulled from the trunk and beaten to death by Archuleta while Wood stayed in the car. Wood said Archuleta then asked him to help bury Church under branches, dirt and leaves, which Wood said he did. As he has throughout the trial, Wood sat quietly as he watched his description of events. He was wearing a conservative blue suit with his ponytail tucked into his shirt. The defendant is expected to testify in his own defense. (Deseret News)

4 March 1990 Sunday

I went to bed tonight crying  although the day didn’t start out that way. In fact, I spent  the majority of the day at the warm springs. I went to the movies today and saw Driving Miss Daisy. It was quite good. I talked to John Reeves and Mark Lamar today also. Mark said he’s has a good healthy attitude about testing HIV positive. John said he wants me to go to Europe with him this summer. I said I doubt whether I could afford it this year with my move to Albuquerque. When  I did see Mike Pipkin, he said last night was disastrous. The guy was nothing like he said on the trick line so after coming home about 9, his boyfriend Richard called and was upset because he didn’t know where Mike was. They went out to Detours then back home  they got into a fight. I am sure it was over Mike’s weirdness now that I know what is coming down with him. I left in the evening to do a radio program  with Becky Moss and we did four interviews with Dr. Patty Reagan who founded the Salt Lake AIDS Foundation back in 1985. She is so cool! Anyway, after taping the shows, John Schellinger, who volunteers at KRCL and works at Nature’s Way with Mike, asked me where was Mike. I said home why? “Because he hadn’t shown up for work  for three days and is fired.” I immediately got this really sinking feeling in my gut. I went home very angry. Mike was watching TV and I just went over and shut it off and said We have to talk. I asked him why did he lie to me? Why the deception?  I told him that I depended on him for his share of the rent and it is really disappointing. I told him that he can’t blame the stars, God, or anyone else for his flakiness and he should seek therapy to find out why he is trashing  his life. I said “you better have a job and money by next Friday or you will have to move out. I can’t carry you. I’ve been more than a friend to you and I am really hurt.”  I’m so sick of people abusing my friendship. Ken Francis stuck me with a $70 phone bill, Mike Anderson robbed me of $120, Terry Johnson owes me about $600. Somehow I sensed that this was going to happen with Mike and I’d also be stuck with a phone bill as well as a lease until June 1^st. I don’t know how I‘ll find anyone who will want to just have a place for two and half months. I’ll probably have to find some type of night job to get by. Mike says  he has a job working at Detours but doesn’t know how much he’ll make or when he will start. I doubt it. I need to get rid of baggage in my life and that includes Mike. He’s never been a true friend to me and I’m tired of supporting him, being an enabler so he can be a sexaholic, an overeater, and alcoholic pothead. I want to live alone, within my means and look out for me for a change. Put more emphasis on my career and be less concerned about people who are a drain on my resources. Changes. Time for change in my life. I have to remember this is not something I am doing to Mike but something he’s done to himself. He’s trashed his body, he’s sabotaging his relationship with Richard, and he’s made himself unemployed again. This is a very sick man.

5 March 1990 Monday

My time at school went by fast. I spent most of my prep time preparing for tomorrow’s evaluation with Wayne Stanger my principal. I’m doing  my lesson on art  hoping he won’t know a lot about it as not to be so critical.  I’m still on my Slim Fast diet and it’s been a pain. I ate one of my frozen dinners and a salad at home. I stayed out tonight so as to not sit home  and eat my feelings. Mike Pipkin didn’t come home tonight.

6 March 1990 Tuesday

I had my evaluation today but I won’t get my results back until tomorrow. I think it went well except for the noise level of the kids but it’s art and they do get to talk. I went straight home afterwards so tired. I have been sugar free since Saturday and still on my Slim Fast diet. I wanted to get a Tryangle Magazine tonight so I went out after the Rosanne Show but they still weren’t out. So, I went to the warm springs for about an hour to relax and gab with some people there who were very hetero. I just  soaked mainly. I was home by  10 o’clock and in bed. Mike Pipkin and I talked today finally. He said that he got his old job back at Nature’s Way  so that’s good. He is still blaming  all his problems on the stars. Fate may direct us but does not control us. We are the final arbitrators of how we respond to any situation given by fate. I will be getting money from him this Friday or else.  I received the phone bill  today. Ugh.

·         Addendum WOOD ADMITS LYING BUT DENIES KILLING ANYONE  By Lane Williams, Staff Writer Two days after he made a videotaped description of the murder of a Southern Utah State College student, Lance Conway Wood changed parts of his story and acknowledged to investigators that he had misled them. But he continued to insist that he did not participate in the killing. That's according to testimony in 4th District Court Monday before Judge Boyd L. Park in Wood's trial for capital homicide. Gordon Ray Church, 28, was murdered early on Nov. 22, 1988, in a remote part of southern Millard County called Dog Valley. On Nov. 23, Wood, 21, went to officials and told them Michael Anthony Archuleta had killed Church. Wood then led them to the body. On Nov. 24, Wood and Millard County sheriff's deputies made a videotape in which Wood described the killing. In it, he said that Archuleta, 27, had suddenly slashed Church's neck while the trio were driving north on I-15. Wood said Archuleta then sodomized and otherwise sexually assaulted Church, who was tied up and taken to Dog Valley where Archuleta beat Church to death and stabbed him with a tire iron. The video was shown to the 10-woman, two-man jury Friday. But after subsequent investigation that included allegedly finding blood on Wood's clothes and statements from Archuleta, who was arrested on Nov. 23, Wood was arrested on Nov. 25. Archuleta's statements indicated that part of the crime took place in Cedar Canyon near Cedar City. On Nov. 26, Wood met with Millard County Sheriff's deputy Sgt. Charles Stewart and said Archuleta slashed Church's neck and sexually assaulted him in Cedar Canyon, Stewart testified Monday. Stewart testified that Wood said Archuleta wanted to rob Church because the victim was a homosexual. (Deseret News)

7 March 1990 Wednesday

The first week of the month is over and it’s been cool and breezy today. It’s not chilly out  anymore but it’s still cold  when that wind blows.  After school, Wayne Stanger came into my classroom  to review my evaluation.  This time I received all 5’s,  which is the highest  scores, without having to put up a fight. Sometimes I think why not stay another year here at Orchard so I can financially get ahead.  But it will all depend on Albuquerque and what doors open down there for me.  I’ve been on my Slim Fast diet for five days now, and I know I’ve been a bitch being on it. I finally managed to pick up a copy of the Tryangle Magazine and read  articles of the closing of Unconditional Support  and the formation of the Stonewall Town Meeting. Plus, there was an article on  this year’s Beyond Stonewall  retreat.  I went to the Warm Springs  again.  Some real strange people were hanging around, transient biker types, who weren’t even going into the water.  So, I left and went to Liberty Park to sit and read the Tryangle in my van. While there I met a guy who wanted to suck me off, so we climbed into the back of the van and laid on the fold down bed. It’s been a long time since I’ve let someone do me.  I must admit it felt pretty good just to be done for a change. I was home just in time to see the end of “Andre’s Mother a play by Terrance McNally. Sada Thompson and “John Boy” Richard Thomas were great but I’m glad I didn’t see any more of it because I bawled as it was, with Richard Thomas’ performance. I hoped someone taped it.

·         Addendum “The play Andre’s Mother is set at the Manhattan memorial service for Andre Gerard, who died of AIDS and was buried in Dallas several weeks earlier. Andre's mother Katharine cannot come to terms with his death or share her grief with Cal, Andre's lover. Her rage is directed not only at Cal and her own mother, who was less judgmental of her grandson's life, but at Andre himself as well.”

·         Lance Wood’s  Murder trial: Witness says blood spatters indicate the defendant was close at hand during killing of SUSC student.  WOOD WAS 3 FEET FROM VICTIM, EXPERT SAYS  By Lane Williams, Staff Writer  Lance Conway Wood was standing within three feet of a Southern Utah State College student when the student was murdered. That's according to blood-spatter analysis and testimony in 4th District Court on Tuesday, the seventh day of testimony in Wood's capital homicide trial.  Wood, 21, is accused in the brutal bludgeoning death of Gordon Ray Church on Nov. 22, 1988. Testimony Tuesday before Judge Boyd L. Park contradicts much of what Wood told investigators on Nov. 23, the day he led them to Church's body, and thereafter. In repeated questioning after the murder, Wood told investigators that he stayed in the car while Michael Anthony Archuleta killed Church in remote Dog Valley in southern Millard County. Wood said he only exited the car when Archuleta asked him to help bury the body. But according to Robert M. Bell, a blood-spatter expert and homicide investigator for the Sacramento County, Calif., Sheriff's Department, the blood on Wood's jacket and pants indicates that he was within three feet of Gordon Church  the victim when Church received multiple blows.  "The wearer of this jacket had to be in close proximity to this assault," Bell said. Bell explained that powerful, violent blows produce smaller drops of flying blood. Those drops _ 1 millimeter in diameter or less _ fly a maximum of three feet. Wood's clothes had drops that small on them. Furthermore, a splash of blood drops, like shotgun pellets, spreads out over distance. Some groups of blood spots on Wood's clothes are close together, and, therefore, flew only a short distance, Bell told prosecutor Carvel Harward and the 12-member jury. Bell said, however, that the blood spatter does not conclusively indicate participation in the crime. Defense attorney Marcus Taylor, on cross-examination, referred to a line of blood drops on Wood's jacket. Drops fly off weapons covered in blood and form a dotted line when they strike something. Bell said those drops came from a different person who was swinging a weapon. But investigators believe more than one weapon was used to kill Church. They found what they believe to be the victim's blood on several independent parts of a tire jack. Archuleta, 27, was found guilty in December for his part in the slaying and was sentenced to die. He had attempted to downplay his role in the murder and put the blame on Wood. The prosecution expects to finish its case Wednesday, and Taylor said his defense may take as little as half a day, but probably more. Wood is expected to take the stand in his own defense. If things go quickly, a verdict may be reached before the weekend. (Deseret News)

8 March 1990 Thursday

I am still on my Slim Fast diet. I don’t feel much different yet and I don’t feel like I’ve lost any weight. I had one more shake this morning, no lunch, and a frozen vegetarian entrée  of less than 100 calories along with a salad and vegetables. I’m still sugar free. After eating my dinner, I left the apartment and went to the springs to hang out until 9 o’clock. This drunk girl and two  guys got into the pot nude, and they were drunk as a skunk.  It was kind of  amusing to watch the guys grope each other. The guys were Gay so the girl must have been their groupie or what we use to call “.fag hags”. Also, two teenage boys were hanging around sitting above us, I suppose hoping to see some tits.

·         Addendum WOOD SAYS FEAR KEPT HIM FROM INTERVENING TO SAVE MURDER VICTIM  By Lane Williams, Staff Writer Lance Conway Wood, testifying in his own defense Wednesday, said he was frightened of Michael Anthony Archuleta, so he did nothing to stop what he thought would be only a robbery. Wood, 21, is on trial for capital homicide in the bludgeoning death of Southern Utah State College student Gordon Ray Church on Nov. 22, 1988. Wood's testimony will continue Thursday. He took the stand at about 4 p.m. Wednesday and did not have time to explain his version of events at the murder site in remote Dog Valley in southern Millard County. Wood led authorities to Church's body there on Nov. 23. Under questioning from defense attorney Marcus Taylor, Wood did discuss some events that occurred in Cedar Canyon near Cedar City. He said he and Archuleta, 27, met Church late on Nov. 21. The trio began their evening by dragging Main Street in Cedar City. After several intervening episodes, the trio ended up in Cedar Canyon, Wood testified. While Church was still in the car, Wood and Archuleta had exited, Wood testified. Archuleta then told Wood that he intended to rob Church, Wood said. Wood said he made no reply to Archuleta's remark. After Church got out of the car, the trio walked and made small talk, Wood said, but on the way back to the car, Archuleta put a knife to Church's throat. Wood said he grabbed Archuleta's arm, enabling Church to flee. As he escaped, Archuleta cut his neck, and then, after Archuleta tackled him, Church's neck was cut again. Wood said Archuleta threatened Church, and then sodomized him on the hood of Church's car. Wood said he was afraid of Archuleta at the time and didn't flee himself because "I didn't have no place to go." Taylor asked Wood about his involvement in a group called HEAT. The group was, ostensibly, a gang that killed drug dealers and took their money. Officials believe the group is non-existent and was merely a way for inmates in the Iron County Correctional Facility to kill time. Wood testified that he was recruited into the group by Archuleta and another inmate and told to keep the group secret. In mid-November 1988, Wood overheard a telephone conversation of Archuleta's girlfriend, Paula Jones, where she listened to details of an alleged murder of a drug dealer in Arizona. Archuleta was in Arizona at the time. Jones and Wood testified that she called another person to ask if Archuleta might have any involvement, and the man seemed "anxious," she said. Investigators found, however, that no murders took place while Archuleta was in Arizona. Wood said that at the time he believed it was real and was frightened. Wood and his fiancé, Brenda Stapley, called Wood's parole officers and asked for some protection. Wood feared because he had told Stapley about HEAT, witnesses have testified. Archuleta has been found guilty of his part in the crime and sentenced to die. (Deseret News)

·         USU TO HONOR 7 UTAHNS ON ITS FOUNDERS DAY Utah State University will honor seven Utahns during its Founders Day observance March 8, Thursday, the 102nd birthday of the university. Distinguished Service Awards will go to five people "whose attainments have brought distinction to themselves, credit to the university and a real benefit to their fellow citizens," said Jay Haws, director of the USU Alumni Association. A faculty/alumni committee selects those to be honored and the Institutional Council approves selections. Distinguished Service Awards will go to Calvin Black, Blanding, southeastern Utah business and political leader; Vera Christensen, Logan, a USU graduate, a teacher, historian, and preservationist; Christine Durham, Salt Lake City, associate justice of the Utah Supreme Court; S. George Ellsworth, Logan, retired head of the USU history department and founding editor of The Western Historical Quarterly; and Dr. Kristen Ries, Salt Lake City, a physician known for her work with AIDS patients. Oral Ballam, dean of the College of Education at USU, will receive the Distinguished Alumnus Award, which is the highest award presented solely by the Alumni Association, Haws said. Ballam served as a teacher and administrator in public schools. As dean at USU his achievements have included educational innovations and planning the new Emma Eccles Jones Education Building just dedicated on campus. Clark P. Giles, Salt Lake City, will be named an Honorary Alumnus. This award goes occasionally to a person who is not a USU alumnus but has been of special service to the school. Giles has been a speaker at legal education seminars presented by USU Extension and other groups. He is attorney for several charitable organizations and foundations and has been instrumental in transmission of several major charitable gifts to USU programs. The seven will be honored at a reception March 8 at 5 p.m. in the Sunburst Lounge, Taggart Student Center. The public is invited. They will also be guests at a Founders Day Dinner at 6:30 p.m. that day in the Student Center Ballroom. (Deseret News)

9 March 1990 Friday

It was a nice, spring like day out and it’s supposed to get even warmer tomorrow. I had the kids go outside to play a lot today because they were antsy from being cooped up. Elaine Day  left today for a weeklong vacation in Hawaii so her class will have a substitute all next week. I would love to have a week off but time will pass soon enough and it will be Easter Break in April. I’m finishing my seven day Slim Fast diet this week. I will weigh myself tomorrow. I don’t feel like I’ve lost anything but seven days and am pretty discouraged. Mike paid me $40 today. That’s $25 less than what he owes me. To get out, I went up to the U of U sauna this evening but came home about 8 o’clock as it was quiet there and no action.  John Schellinger of Nature’s Way was over talking to Mike Pipkin probably about his work there as a cook. I heard some sad news that the Blue Mouse on First South, the avant-garde movie house, closed its doors  last night for good. It had been around making conservatives mad for at least fifteen years. I heard KRCL was originally located in the building. I wonder if Cosmic Aeroplane  next door will fold next. Times they are a changing. I went to bed around 9 o’clock.

·         Addendum-WOOD ADMITS STANDING NEAR ARCHULETA WHEN SUSC STUDENT WAS BLUDGEONED By Michael Morris and Lane Williams, Staff Writers Defendant Lance Conway Wood admitted for the first time Thursday that he stood near convicted murderer Michael Anthony Archuleta when a Southern Utah State College student was bludgeoned. Jury deliberations were expected to begin Friday in Wood's trial for capital homicide in 4th District Court. Under questioning from defense attorney Marcus Taylor, Wood said he was in the car while Archuleta first tried to break Church's neck, and then beat the victim with separate parts of a tire jack. Wood said Archuleta came to the car and asked him to help move Gordon Ray Church's body. After he got out, Wood said, Archuleta "picked up the jack and was hitting him a few more times." Wood, whom Taylor has tried to portray as frightened of Archuleta, was "more than shocked," when Archuleta told Wood that he was planning on killing Church, the defendant said. He said Archuleta was very angry. "I never seen him like that before." Under cross-examination by prosecutor Carvel Harward, Wood admitted having lied several times to investigators immediately following the murder. Because he wanted to avoid self-incrimination, he denied having gotten out of the car during Church's murder at Dog Valley or earlier in Cedar Canyon, where he claimed Archuleta robbed Church.  On Thursday, he recanted those earlier statements and admitted standing behind Church's car, which witnessed have testified was blood-splattered, when the victim was killed. He also admitted that he was outside the car during the robbery. His initial testimony, including one videotaped explanation, indicated that Archuleta had sodomized Church on the emergency lane of the freeway, not in Cedar Canyon. "I got out of the car when Mike told me to get out of the car," Wood said. But, he added, "I didn't have no involvement in the crime. I gave them (investigators) what was logical. I thought (admitting) being outside with him (Archuleta) would involve me in the crime." Testimony Tuesday indicated that Wood's clothes had blood and brain matter on them. A blood-spatter expert from California told the 10-woman, two-man jury that Wood had to have been standing within three feet of Church when he was being bludgeoned.  The blood-spatter expert said Church had been struck at least once while he was standing, at least once while his head was at bumper level and at least once while he was on the ground. Wood's testimony, however, indicated that Church was always near the ground when Archuleta beat him. Wood led investigators to the victim's half-nude body on Nov. 23, 1988, the day after the killing. Wood said he was drunk the night of the murder, and he had difficulty Thursday remembering previous statements he made to investigators. Wood admitted that he lied to investigators when he told them he didn't know where the knife was that was used to cut Church's throat. He later told them they could find the knife in Cedar Canyon, which investigators did. The defendant was on the witness stand for several hours Wednesday and Thursday. During testimony, he was soft-spoken, showing little emotion.  Archuleta, who tried to blame Wood during his trial in December, is sentenced to die. [Deseret News]

10 March 1990 Saturday

I woke up at 5:30 this morning from going to bed so early and decided to go over to the Hot Springs as there was a beautiful luminescent full moon in the dark sky. I stood in wonder and awe  witnessing the majesty of it.  The sunrise was also gorgeous beyond my poor means of expressing myself. I’m not poetic enough to capture the pearls and pinks against a soft milky blue sky as the morning was breaking. I had an introspective visit with this 84 year old man who came to the springs to soak. We talked of our spiritual journey of discovery, within ourselves. He was most interesting to converse with. Then this belligerent Muslim guy entered the waters and was so negative that he destroyed our serenity. The old man and I got out of the pool and I drove him home. I then went home myself and back to bed and slept until about 11 o’clock.  After getting up, I decided to go to the U of U’s men’s locker room and weigh myself and use the sauna there. I weighed 200 pounds after dropping 4 pounds through the Slim Fast diet so I think I will continue with it for a while. But I also think that I would have lost the weigh anyways from eating so little and reducing my caloric intake. But I guess Slim Fast acts like a motivating factor. At 7 o’clock I went to a Desert and Mountain States Conference planning meeting at Curtis Jensen’s house on 800 East. We are having a brunch fundraiser on the 18^th at Detours.  I wanted to get laid tonight. I don’t know if it’s the full moon, my raging hormones, or insecurities, but I directed  a lot of my energies this evening in getting laid. Finally, around 2:30 in the morning after cruising Liberty Park, Memory Grove, the In-between Bar, Backstreet Club, and Main and Broadway I finally connected up with someone who  wanted to fuck around as much as I did. We went inside my van and he fucked me and I fucked him. It was great. He had good energy but not sparking as much as the sex I had with that one skier, I had taken home. I doubt I ever will but I had it at least once. There was no one out at either the In-Between or Backstreet. I wonder if Detours  has taken away their business.

·         Addendum JURY SET TO DELIBERATE WOOD'S FATE By Lane Williams, Staff Writer Deseret News The jury will begin deliberating the fate of Lance Conway Wood today at 9 a.m. After attorneys finished making closing arguments Friday evening, 4th District Judge Boyd L. Park sent jurors home before they begin deliberations. Wood is accused of capital homicide in the torture-slaying of Southern Utah State College student Gordon Ray Church on Nov. 22, 1988. A claustrophobic Church was sexually assaulted in Cedar Canyon east of Cedar City. He suffered a broken arm there, was tied in chains, placed tightly in the trunk of his own car, and driven more than 60 miles to remote Dog Valley in southern Millard County. There, he was bludgeoned with a jack and stabbed with a tire iron until he died. In closing arguments, Prosecutor Carvel Harward said Wood participated in the brutal killing. "He is charged as a party. He is guilty as a party." Co-defendant Michael Anthony Archuleta was sentenced in December to die for his part in the grisly murder. Harward supported his claim by saying that Wood asked his friend Tony Siech for some gloves and told Siech he and Archuleta were going to the mountains. Harward said testimony showed that Wood filled the car with gasoline while Church was being held in the trunk. He said one of Wood's statements to officers indicated that he had driven the car part of the way to Dog Valley. He said Church's jaw was broken, and that wound was consistent with being kicked. Wood's shoelaces had strands of what is apparently Church's hair in them. He also said that blood on Wood's clothes indicated that he was within three feet of the victim while he was bludgeoned. "He has lied here in court when he claimed that he was a mere observer," Harward said. Harward said Wood made up a phantom crime scene, tried to blame Archuleta for the crime and repeatedly changed his story to make it fit the evidence. "The evidence proves that he is a liar as well as a killer." Defense Attorney Marcus Taylor responded, "Telling a lie doesn't make a person a killer. It just makes him a liar." Taylor said Wood deliberately changed his story because he was just out of jail and felt that police would try to implicate him, even if he had nothing to do with the crime. He said Wood made the unreasonable decision, but understandable one, that he needed to be completely away from Archuleta before he reported the crime. Wood went to authorities and told of the murder late on Nov. 22. After splitting with Archuleta, he went to Siech's apartment immediately after returning to Cedar City from trip that included stops in Dog Valley, Spanish Fork, West Valley City, Draper, Salem and Santaquin. Siech and Wood next went to authorities. Wood led investigators to Church's body the next day. Wood maintained in testimony reiterated by Taylor that the defendant stayed in the car while Archuleta murdered Church. Wood said he got out of the car only at Archuleta's request to help bury the body, and, after exiting, Archuleta bludgeoned the victim again, causing blood to spatter onto the defendant's clothes. Taylor also pointed out that a fingerprint on the knife that slashed Wood's throat had an unrecognizable fingerprint on it. Because Wood had Siech's gloves on, the print must have been Archuleta's, however, Taylor said.

11 March 1990 Sunday

 When I finally got out of bed at 7:30 this morning, it was raining out. I let Billy cat back inside and I went back to sleep and didn’t wake up again until 10:30. By then a major snow storm blew into the valley. Everything was dumped on and it continued to snow all day well into the evening. Jeff Wood called me about 11 o’clock and wanted to do something with me today. I told him to look out his window and see if he still wanted to go out. He said he would call me back. Ha! I then began to read the Sunday newspaper and came across an article that made me blow my stack.  The Anne Frank Holocaust Exhibit is coming to Salt Lake but the sponsors of the exhibit were told by the State Office of Education that they cannot mention that homosexuals were among the murdered millions! James Moss, head of the state board of education, said, "Homosexuality is not a major feature of the holocaust.” And said, “I think the major focus, that certainly needs to be focused on continuously, was the religious and cultural prejudice." Moss said that it is possible to teach children they should not be bigoted without having to include all groups that were targets of the Nazi's."  What a blatant statement of pure homophobia and hypocrisy!! How will children learn not to be bigots when they are taught by bigots?  I called Bobbie Smith immediately and said get on the phone to Chuck Whyte and Robert Austin.  This needs an immediate response from the community council.  Later John Martin, a Gay activist I know, called me enraged over the article also. He was ready for action.  Anyway about 1 o’clock I went out to start the van and the battery had died probably from the cold. So, I called Jeff Wood up who only lived up the street on 1^st Avenue to ask him to come over and help me jump start the van.  After it started running we went to the Wasatch Springs and stayed there from about 3 to 5 o’clock, soaking in the hot springs while snow kept falling all around us. It was kind of a cool experience. I felt like one of the Japanese snow monkeys. I was surprised to see Beau Chaine and his lover Jeff Erdmann showing up at the springs and we had a nice time visiting  with them.  It was fun  but wet and cold at the springs so we went back to my place where Jeff Wood and I took a hot shower together, and I fixed us a bowl of pinto beans and corn bread. Later  at 7:30  we went to Affirmation, which I only went to in order to spread the news, and walking in I ran  face to face into Billy Bikowski. I was taken back but quickly recovered my senses. I said “hi” then helped with setting up the chairs since it hadn’t been done yet. We watched a film called “The Life of Harvey Milk”. I had seen it already several times before but it was good to see it again especially considering how Utah is trying to exclude Gays from being mentioned as a specific target of the Nazis. Anyway, at various times I was riveted to Billy’s profile, wondering when will it be the last time, I’ll be able to look upon his face  and not melt inside?  After the meeting, of which they had dropped the group hug because someone complained it violated their space, I visited with a few people. But before Billy left, I went up to him, shook his hand, hugged him, and wished him happiness. At Affirmation, Neil Hoyt informed me that a press conference is being held tomorrow  by Robert Austin at 2 o’clock at the City and County Building at Washington Square and he said a special community council

meeting  will be held Thursday at 6:30 at the Metropolitan Community Church.  Becky Moss and I will addressed this on Concerning Gays and Lesbians soon.  I didn’t get to bed until nearly 10:30 and while thoughts of Billy kept appearing and disappearing like phantoms in my mind, I didn’t cry over him. In the news Lance Wood was found guilty in the murder of Gordon Church. I had always thought he wasn’t as guilty as Mike Archuleta  but evidence  purports that he had kicked Gordon in the head several times so forcefully that blood and hair was intertwined in Wood’s shoe laces.  I wonder what is happening with the case of Darrell Webber’s murder trial.  In April it will be a year since he was murdered . I think it is ironic that the story of Gays being excluded  as victims of the Nazi Holocaust  and news of Lance Woods trial  were on the same  page juxtaposed one to each other. Bigots trying to teach  children about bigotry in Utah. Amazing.

·         Addendum The three-page section "The Fate of Homosexuals under Nazi Rule," in the Anne Frank Exhibit was deleted by the corporate sponsor, Geneva Steel, at what the firm thought was the request of state education officials.

·         After 11 hours, jury returns guilty verdict on 3 counts.  WOOD IS CONVICTED IN TORTURE SLAYING By Lane Williams and Michael Morris, Staff Writers Deseret News  A 4th District Court jury took nearly 11 hours Saturday to find Lance Conway Wood, 21, guilty of capital homicide in the Nov. 22, 1988, torture slaying of Gordon Ray Church. A tearful, 10-woman, two-man jury returned its verdict at 9 p.m. after beginning deliberations Saturday morning. The jury also found Wood guilty of aggravated sexual assault and aggravated kidnapping in the murder of Church, a Southern Utah State College student. Judge Boyd L. Park ordered jurors to return Wednesday for the sentencing phase of Wood's trial. Wood either will be sentenced to die or will be given life in prison. "The verdict was fair. Two people committed the murder. Both of them should have been convicted and both of them are now convicted," said Millard County Attorney Warren Peterson. In December, Wood's co-defendant, Michael Anthony Archuleta, was condemned to die after being found guilty of capital homicide. Defense attorney Marcus Taylor, who wept briefly after the verdict was read, said he was disappointed but not surprised. "The evidence was there for the jury to believe," he said, "but there was room for the jury to view the evidence in a light that could have resulted in a lesser offense. They had to pick and choose who to believe." Wood sat stoically as the verdict was read but turned toward his fiancée, Brenda Stapley, and mouthed the words "I love you" before he left the courtroom. “I’m blown away," Stapley said after the verdict was read. She said she still believes Wood is not guilty. "I didn't think they (jurors) would go that hard (on him). I thought him going to the police would help." The day after the murder, Wood led investigators to Church's badly beaten, chain-draped body, which was buried under dirt and branches in an isolated area known as Dog Valley near Cove Fort, Millard County. Members of the victim's family hugged Peterson and co-counsel Carvel Harward as the courtroom cleared. "I think the Millard County attorney's office and the Millard County Sheriff's Department have done an outstanding job in reference to professionalism, integrity and pursuit of justice. I would like to thank them for their efforts," said the victim's father, David G. Church. "I am still heartbroken that Gordon is gone and that he had to suffer so much at the hands of these criminals," he said. "We miss him, and society will not be able to benefit from the good that he had to contribute." Peterson called Wood's case more difficult than Archuleta's. "There was not as much statement testimony, and there is the pressure of doing it the second time and feeling that the same result had to be obtained for justice to be served. And that created a lot of pressure on the team." Peterson praised Harward and Millard County investigators. "This case was the best-investigated case I'm aware of," he said. "The investigators didn't miss anything. They did it just right."

12 March 1990 Monday

I need to take some time off from school. I’m really burning out and running on empty. After school, I typed up three letters to send off about the Holocaust flap; one to Joseph Cannon thanking him for sponsoring the exhibit, one to the Salt Lake Tribune criticizing the state school board’s comments and actions, and finally one to James Moss himself rebuking him because of his ignorance. I had some veggie burgers for dinner and then Bobbie Smith came by to visit. We went up to the U of U sauna first to sweat before attending the Lesbian and Gay Student Union meeting in room 215 Orson Spencer Hall.  Stuart was in the sauna again and we all discussed the Holocaust issue until we left.  At 7:30 Bobbie and I went to the student meeting and the topic was going to be on “drag” but was changed to discuss the Holocaust exhibit. Angela Nutt who is the co-director of the meeting complained about how she thought last week’s meeting was anti-women. She objected to Justin Webber showing John Waters’ film “Female Troubles” at the meeting for an activity, hence the proposed topic of drag in the community being anti-feminism.  There was a pretty good turnout at LGSU. David Nelson and his lover Andy Dalrymple were there as well as Chris Borg the actor. Garth Chamberlain has the cutest boyfriend now. Really darling. He goes by the name of “Bob” but I think his real name is Butch. As I said the meeting was good and I am glad I went. I was home by 10 o’clock after taking Bobbie home and John Schellinger was still over visiting with Mike Pipkin.  I heard that Newsweek magazine ran a  cover story on “The Future of Gay America” and there was a  flurry of letters with 60 percent of them being homophobic.

13 March 1990 Tuesday

It was not an easy day at school for me or my students. They were so hyper and I am at a loss to know what to do about it. I cannot switch the student desks around again and the discipline  procedures don’t seem to have any affect any more. I blew up several times today from the incessant badgering from little Nathan Valdez and the constant chattering  of Kaye Thompson. I have 35 hyper students crammed into a small classroom and I can’t take them out side to run off their energy because of the snow on the playground and field. Oh well, seven more days it will be Spring. I haven’t had hay fever yet from elm tree pollen thank God.  After work, Jeff Wood dropped by my place and wanted to do something, so we went to the West Valley Mall dollar theaters.  We went to the early show at six o’clock and saw “Second Sight”;  a completely forgettable black comedy movie except that it was filmed in Boston. John Larroquette from Night Court was in it. After coming home, Jeff came inside and we sat and talked about our lives. Jeff said he went to get tested for HIV last week and was frightened, waiting to hear the results. For some reason I felt impressed to share with him my spiritual journey from accepting Christ as my savior when I was 12 years old and was baptized into the Church of Christ, to the angelic epiphany in 1971, becoming a Mormon in 1972 with the Automatic writing that had me write the Book of Peter and, imagine I knew some of  the lost portions of the Book of Mormon.  The loss of my own faith made me reliant on others for theirs, for twelve years, until a spiritual reawakening in 1983 made me realized that being Gay was a gift and not a curse. My involvement with the Restoration Church in 1986 lead me to leaving organized religion  behind to build up the Gay Community as an outward sign of my true spirituality, by attempting to bind up the broken hearted and free the captive.   

·         Addendum-[Deseret News Misunderstanding: Sponsor of 'Anne Frank' display says it thought education officials wanted information kept out. EXHIBIT PACKET WON'T EXCLUDE  MATERIAL ON NAZIS' GAY VICTIMS Material on the Nazi persecution of homosexuals will not be withheld from education packets distributed about an international exhibit that debuts in Utah later this month. Utah schoolchildren and others attending "The World of Anne Frank," an exhibit exploring the tragedy of the Holocaust, will be able to learn about the hundreds of thousands of homosexuals who died in the Nazi death camps. The corporate sponsor, Geneva Steel, originally deleted the information on homosexuals at what the firm thought was the request of state education officials. But late Monday afternoon, after a day of statements and press conferences where education officials, gay-rights advocates and others tried to sort out who said what to whom and when, the final word from Geneva was that information on homosexuals and the Holocaust would be sent to teachers. Geneva officials and State Superintendent of Public Instruction James E. Moss said there had been a gigantic "misunderstanding" and that the three-page section in question, "The Fate of Homosexuals under Nazi Rule," will be mailed out to the 70 schoolteachers who requested the supplementary materials in preparation for taking their students on tours of the exhibit. The exhibit opens at noon March 25 at the City-County Building and runs until April 22. Geneva is spending between $40,000 and $50,000 to sponsor the exhibit, which is being hosted by Salt Lake City. Geneva Steel director of media relations Mary Kay Lazarus said her firm "was saddened" by the flap surrounding the exhibit and hopes that the controversy doesn't mar the exhibit's opening. "We feel very bad about the pain and that some groups feel they were being disenfranchised (from the exhibit). Our hope was to make the exhibit as universal as possible," she said. She said a volunteer committee asked the State Office of Education to review the supplementary materials sent to teachers. The committee felt such a request was appropriate because the state office oversees classroom instruction. The committee believed that state education officials wanted the material on homosexuals pulled because of a State Board of Education guideline that says "the acceptance of or advocacy of homosexuality as a desirable or acceptable sexual adjustment or lifestyle" may not be taught in the public schools and should be excluded from textbooks. When the information packets were mailed to teachers, the three pages on homosexuals out of a total 38 pages describing the exhibit were deleted. The other 35 pages deal with Nazi treatment of Jews, blacks, gypsies and the disabled. The state school superintendent said the misunderstanding arose when his staff alerted Geneva officials to one page that deals "with current homosexual activities" and warned that it "might cause concern on the part of individuals or groups in the public." That page depicts a symbol, a triangle with words "Gays Against Fascism," that was developed by the Gay Liberation Movement as a tribute to the gay victims of Nazi persecution. Nazis forced homosexuals to wear pink triangles as a form of identification. "While the State Office of Education has no concern about teaching the historical facts about the terrible persecutions which affected homosexuals, there was concern about sending teachers information about a symbol which, while retaining some historical roots, has nothing to do with Anne Frank's era, but is a symbol for a potentially controversial contemporary social-political movement. Our staff merely advised Geneva Steel of this concern," Moss told a press briefing. Following a meeting with the press, Moss spoke in private to a coalition of community groups, including gay-rights groups, about the controversy. Coalition spokesman Robert Austin said while Moss didn't apologize to the group, he spoke frankly about what he called "misunderstandings." Austin said the coalition will not protest the exhibit, as was announced earlier Monday, but will "witness" to the suffering of homosexuals at the hands of the Nazis. He said "witnessing" will include wearing pink triangles and perhaps carrying candles and distributing information. Victims of the Holocaust included "not just Jews and gypsies but gay people too, " Austin said.

14 March 1990 Wednesday -

Today was a much better day at school because I vowed to speak more softly and deal with the difficult students with less shouting to get their attention in order to get them back on track. I’m  trying to reward positive behavior instead of just reacting to the negative behavior of a handful who constantly disrupt the class. I’m no Saint and it was not easy. I had to stop my teaching  occasionally to let the students calm down but it wasn’t as crazy as yesterday. It’s hump day and it’s a downhill slide into another weekend.  I listed to KRCL’s radiothon during my lunch break . Debbe Rosenberg, Antonia Dela Guerra, and Beck Moss did the show live today. They discussed the Holocaust controversy mostly. Becky is so intelligent and witty. She can usually cut right to the gist of someone’s illogical reasoning. She should have been a lawyer. She said James Moss was wrong when he said the main focus  of the holocaust exhibit should be religious and cultural prejudice. The main focus Becky said should be racism, the scapegoating minorities, and that homophobia was a form of racism.  Anyway, I don’t know how much money was raised during their half hour. Tonight, I stayed  home and made some wind socks to hang from my patio while John Schellinger came over to visit with Mike Pipkin. He does the Sunday night KRCL New Age Music  program. I made some bran muffins that were tasty as I was hungry for something sweet. I used honey instead of sugar.  Beau Chaine’s lover Jeff Erdmann called me this evening  to visit. Not sure why. I went to bed early  at 9 o’clock  worn out from work. I heard that Salt Lake’s undercover vice had joined Club 14 bathhouse to monitor Gay men’s behavior there. Technically it’s not a bath house anymore but a gym and juice bar.

15 March 1990 Thursday

 It snowed again last night, so I had to scrape off the van this morning but truly it’s been a fairly nice winter all in all. When does this warm weather we have been promised arrive?  I read in the paper  that Lance Wood got life in prison for his part in the death of Gordon Church. He probably didn’t get the death penalty because he’s white, LDS, was a boy scout, and he’s good looking. Mike Archuletta got the death penalty probably because he’s not Mormon and a Mexican. Both should be locked up and the key thrown away. Mike Pipkin said he’s involved with running a food operation out of Detours.  I guess he’s been going over to Beau Chaine’s Aardvark for advice.  I surely do like Jeff Erdmann, Beau’s  lover. Oh well. School was okay today. Still trying to use my Quaker principles and be more soft spoken. The month is now half over and soon Spring will be here.  Circles, endless circles. Jeff Wood is worried that he may test positive for HIV. He said a guy he had been with last summer in California died  from AIDS recently and we wasn’t absolutely safe with him. I need to get tested myself for who knows what Terry Johnson may have given me besides hepatitis. Perhaps when Mike Pipkin pays me this weekend although I got to get gasoline for the van as I am running on empty. After school let out I went to an emergency meeting of the Community Council. We met in the sanctuary of the Resurrection Metropolitan Church on 600 East with Robert Austin conducting the meeting. There were probably thirty or more people there. Some I knew were Rocky O’Donovan Robert Erichssen, Liza Smart, Brenda Voisard, Becky Moss, Becky Moorman, Alice Drake, Angela Nutt, Ann Lovato, Debbie Rosenberg, David Nelson, Andy Dalrymple, John Martin, Craig Miller and his partner Joseph, Val Mansfield, Chuck Whyte, Curtis Jensen,  Dale Sorenson, and several more folks that either I can’t remember now or I didn’t know. Anyway, the conclusion of the meeting that we came to  was that we  had a media  victory but will still need “witness” at the exhibit, instead of having a protest; from 11 to 5 o’clock when we will have  different groups hand out Pink Triangles.  At 5 o’clock, we will walk from Washington Square to St. Mark’s Episcopal Church for a memorial service.  We are going to make the event as much of an inter ecumenical and intercultural as possible. Talking with Val Mansfield I volunteered to help with the Brunch Desert and Mountain States fundraiser. On Sunday Val will pick me up at 9 a.m. to go dice potatoes at Detours. It was a good upbeat meeting and afterwards MCC held it’s spaghetti night’s dinner. I visited with Chuck Whyte at the dinner. He said he’s working at Burger King now but is trying to get back on at the U of U. I went around and said hi to a bunch of people at the dinner before taking off for home.  There Mike Pipkin wanted to go to Detours to talk to Kent the owner about the menu. So, I took him down to 32 East Exchange Place where I went in to look around the club. It’s very nice. I met Kent the owner also. He seems to be a regular fellow whatever that means these days. I then swung by the Post Office to check my PO Box and there was a letter there addressed to Terry Johnson from social services probably for child support. I went to bed at 9:30.

·         Addendum-CRIMINAL CODDLING': SYSTEM FOCUSES MORE ON LOOPHOLES, EXCUSES THAN ON JUSTICE, VICTIM'S FATHER SAYS.  Without a major overhaul of the U.S. judicial system, criminals will continue to be coddled while their victims suffer, said David G. Church, whose son Gordon was brutally murdered Nov. 22, 1988. Church had nothing but praise for Millard County prosecutors and law officers, whose investigation culminated in the conviction of Lance Conway Wood and Michael Anthony Archuleta. But, he says, the nation's judicial system has turned into an "injustice system." In prepared remarks given to the Deseret News, Church said victim rights are suffering because society is too concerned about criminals. "It is very sad that our society has allowed the justice system in this country to deteriorate so much in its endeavor to protect criminals," he said. "We spend so much time and money in an effort to bend over backwards for irresponsible, repeat offenders that there is not even a close balance for the protection of victims." Church, who sat through most of Archuleta's trial in December and much of Wood's trial the past three weeks, said the judicial system focuses more on loopholes, legal technicalities, and excuses than on justice, fairness, guilt, or truth. Archuleta was sentenced to death for his part in Gordon Church's murder. On Wednesday, a 4th District Court jury sentenced Wood to life in prison. Church said the courts would not be so overcrowded if automatic appeals of convictions were eliminated, while mistrials and other appeals were drastically reduced. If society spent less time trying to make prison life comfortable and more time reminding inmates that prison is a punishment, he said, recidivism would be reduced. "Archuleta didn't get reformed, Wood didn't get reformed," Church said of the defendants' prison records before the murder. "How many more people should be victimized before we decide that they (Archuleta and Wood) have elected not to act responsibly and do not deserve to be in this society?"

·         3 hours: Jury's decision called result of Wood's young age, Archuleta's dominating influence. WOOD IS SENTENCED TO LIFE IN PRISON By Michael Morris and Lane Williams, Staff Writers Convicted murderer Lance Conway Wood received a life sentence for his part in the torture slaying of Southern Utah State College student Gordon Ray Church. The jury deliberated only three hours and was unable to reach a unanimous decision that Wood should be sentenced to death, thereby resulting in a life sentence. Fourth District Judge Boyd L. Park read the decision a little after 9 p.m. Wednesday. In December, co-defendant Michael Anthony Archuleta received a death sentence for his part in the killing. "The system protected Lance Wood's rights a lot better than he protected Gordon Church's (rights)," said Millard County Attorney Warren Peterson, and Wood's crimes deserved the death penalty. After the decision was read, Wood and defense attorney Marcus Taylor put their arms around each other. Both Taylor and Peterson agreed that an important reason for the jury's decision and the difference between Archuleta's sentence and Wood's is the defendant's youth. Wood was 20 when Church was murdered. Archuleta was 26. Taylor said another reason is "Archuleta was the dominating partner."  Wood, described during the sentencing hearing Wednesday as a hyperactive high school dropout who suffered from a learning disability, wept as his father recounted stories from the defendant's childhood and participation in Boy Scout activities. He nearly completed the requirements for Eagle Scout. Under questioning from Taylor, Edward Wood told jurors that he believes his adopted son can be rehabilitated and "make something of his life." The defendant has matured since his arrest, Edward Wood said, and hopes to finish high school, marry, and become an asset to society. In light of Wood's life sentence, however, his contributions to society likely will have to be made from within prison walls. Taylor said he expects Wood to spend at least 10 years in prison for the conviction before he might be paroled. Peterson expressed the wish that legislators had provided jurors the option of life without parole. Wood also cried while his mother, Margie, tearfully recounted the joy of Wood's adoption and the family's patience in trying to deal with Wood's learning problems. Margie Wood said the family tried counseling, medication, and special education to help their only son. For example, she said, one counselor suggested that Wood had not crawled as an infant and needed to do so. The defendant's mother said she, Edward and Lance spent many hours crawling together around the house. But the treatments had little effect, she said. Some jurors cried when she shared an affectionate letter Wood wrote on Mother's Day as a teenager. Peterson's co-counsel, Carvel Harward, called only three witnesses during the sentencing hearing. He said prosecutors were relying chiefly on testimony from the trial's guilt phase to show that aggravating circumstances in Church's murder outweighed mitigating circumstances. Edward Wood said his son did "fairly well" in elementary school despite speech and learning disabilities that surfaced when he was 3. His son's academic performance dropped, however, in junior high school when he started associating with the wrong crowd. The defendant was easily influenced by others, Edward Wood said. Shortly after he turned 18, he was convicted of felony theft after he and others stole and wrecked a motorcycle in the Bountiful area. The defendant originally was placed on probation, but his probation was revoked in October 1987 after he failed to comply with probationary terms. June Hinckley, prison records and identification officer, said the defendant was paroled a year later on Oct. 25, 1988 - less than a month before the murder. Taylor told jurors the defendant was an unwanted child until being adopted by the Wood family when he was 6 months old.

16 March 1990 Friday

I am so glad it’s Friday. I’m so worn down. It’s starting to warm up again and the snow is melting. It will be gone  by this weekend. I took my kids out to P.E.  for the last half hour of the day just to get them run off their energy. Anyhow, after school, I walked to Memory Grove but nothing was going on there in the bushes. I then put $13 worth of gas in the van. Gas is about 94 cents again now. Mike Pipkin paid me $60 today but he owes me another $75 plus utilities which is about $20. Anyway, I went to Sears on State Street and bought some more sweats, a black bottom, and a red top.  After that I went up to Orson Spencer Hall, as my hormones were raging, and I needed some attention. I met a young college age fellow and we went to the back of my van where we fucked. I wasn’t entirely satisfied when he was through, so I left and went to Liberty Park where I picked up this guy and we fucked in my van. After  he was spent, I drove back into the park where this real strange young man gave me the creeps, so I took off and just went back home. It was late anyway about 11 o’clock. Mike Pipkin was home and we visited some before I went to bed. I guess I really needed to release a lot of my stress and tension from this week. I don’t know if its spring coming, or what, but I sure was horny today.

·         Addendum- STIFF SENTENCE WILL GIVE MURDERER PLENTY OF TIME TO FINISH HIGH SCHOOL By Michael Morris, Staff Writer Lance Conway Wood will have ample opportunity to achieve his goal of earning a high school diploma. On Thursday, 4th District Judge Boyd L. Park guaranteed the convicted murderer plenty of study time when he sentenced him to three life terms, including two minimum mandatory terms of 10 years each. Wood escaped the death penalty Wednesday when a 12-member jury was unable to unanimously recommend that he die. On Saturday, the jury found the 22-year-old Bountiful native guilty of the murder, aggravated sexual assault and aggravated kidnapping of Gordon Ray Church on Nov. 22, 1988. Park ordered Wood to serve two consecutive terms of 10 years to life for aggravated sexual abuse and aggravated kidnapping, followed by a third life term for capital homicide. The defendant, who witnesses testified Wednesday hopes to earn his high school diploma, sat silently during sentencing while his attorney argued that the three sentences should be merged into one. Marcus Taylor argued that aggravated sexual abuse and aggravated kidnapping were merely supportive elements of the first-degree murder conviction. "I see no result other than merger," he said. "I think it's mandated by law." Not so, replied Park in rejecting Taylor's argument. He said separate aggravating circumstances, including object rape and the "exceptionally depraved" manner in which the murder was committed, elevated the killing to first-degree murder. Aggravated sexual assault and aggravated kidnapping, therefore, are separate and independent of the murder, Park said. Park had the option of ordering minimum mandatory terms of five, 10 or 15 years on the aggravated sexual assault and aggravated kidnapping charges. Taylor argued for five-year terms, while Millard County Attorney Warren Peterson, calling the torture and beating death of Church "a crime almost without description," argued for 15-year terms. Park granted Wood credit for time served since his arrest a few days after the murder, and he ordered the defendant to pay restitution for costs of Church's funeral.

·         JORDAN PRINCIPAL FACES TRIAL ON SEX CHARGE  A Jordan School District principal faces trial next month on a charge he fondled an undercover police officer at a Salt Lake park. Bernett L. Baldwin, 51, is charged with disorderly conduct, a Class B misdemeanor, and will stand trial April 11 before 3rd Circuit Judge Philip Palmer. Baldwin, principal of Southland Elementary School, was issued a misdemeanor citation on Feb. 9 after an incident at Jordan Park, 1000 S. 900 West. According to a police report, a man offered to give an undercover policeman his work phone number. The man told the officer they "could meet for a sexual encounter" and then reached over and groped the officer, according to the report. Two days later, another Jordan School District principal, Edwin C. DeBoard, was arrested after offering a female vice decoy $15 for a sex act. DeBoard has since pleaded no contest. He was fined $250 and ordered to take tests for sexually transmitted diseases. Both men remain on administrative leave without pay pending a review by the school board.

17 March 1990 Saturday

It’s St. Patrick’s Day and I was up at 7:30 a.m. and drove to the warm springs to soak awhile. I stayed until 10 o’clock discussing with this one individual about why I was against  the “harvesting” of wild game. I said who are we to determine which species lives and which one doesn’t. Mother natures for millions of years has taken care of the adaptation of animals without any help from man. Who is to say that the game we “harvest” aren’t carrying  certain genetic material that will be needed for the species to survive in the future a hundred thousand years from now? Anyway, after leaving the springs, I went up to Orson Spencer Hall to cruise and I met this red haired college kid named Bryan and we came back to my place to fuck. After he left, I just kind of had a lazy do nothing day until  we had a Stonewall Town Meeting  at my place.  Prior to that Jeff Wood came over and was just being silly. It was a small turn out with only David Nelson, Andy Dalrymple, Bobbie Smith, Debbie Rosenberg, Doug Wortham, Willie Marshall, and me. However, we accomplished a lot and raised $40 among ourselves to cover the printing costs for flyers for the “witnessing” at the opening of the Anne Frank Exhibit.  After the others left, Debbie Rosenberg stayed until 9 o’clock just to visit with me. I told her about taking calcium for her menstrual cramps. After she left to go dancing at Puss N Boots, I retired at midnight after watching Saturday Night Live which had the “Church Lady” spanking Rob Lowe.

18 March 1990 Sunday

I was up by 8 o’clock this morning so I could be ready when Val Mansfield came to take me down to Detours  to prepare the Brunch  Fund Raiser for the Desert and Mountain States Conference. We were the only ones there until 10 o’clock  when Curtis Jensen showed up with more supplies to cook. The only people helping out were Val, his boyfriend Dave, Curtis, another kid I didn’t know and Joe Dewey who was kind of worthless just standing around. I had to show him how to even do the pancakes.  I spent all morning  and most of the afternoon at Detours helping with the brunch. Kent, the owner, acted more like I was in charge than anyone else because I was the only one who knew his way around a commercial kitchen. The boys served the brunch while I cleaned the stove and grill and left at 3 o’clock. I was really tired from being on my feet the entire time  and had a headache. Val said they cleared about $100 after paying for the food. They could have made that much by holding a dance with half the work. Mike Pipkin and Steve Oldroyd were at the brunch and I walked  home with them  but first stopping at Radio City on the way. I saw Troy there, this kid  I met at Memory Grove a year ago. I’ve always been attracted to him. However, I was tired and greasy from working the grill and just wanted to go take a shower up at the U of U and sit in the sauna. I soaked and sweated there until 6 o’clock then came home to get ready to go to KRCL.  Becky Moss and I did two programs  tonight so I won’t have to come back into the recording studio until April 1^st. I stayed after taping our shows to make a pitch during Radio-thon for John Shellinger’s “Nexum” program. After that I went to Radio City again and Troy was still there. I’m too co-dependent to have a healthy relationship with him because he’ an alcoholic and I’d be trying to fix him all the time. I do like him a lot, however.

19 March 1990 Monday

It’s the last day of winter. Yay! It was kind of dragging at work today but that’s not unusual for a Monday. I spent my preparation time getting language and reading worksheets ran off the ditto machine. I also did an inventory of text book in my classroom. My language books are from 1972. My health book are from 1962. My math books are from 1976. The science books, of which I only have 15 for a class of 35 students, is from 1978 and there’s no teacher’s edition. My Social Studies books are from 1979 and also have no teacher’s edition.  Only one set of text books is from 1980 and those are my reading books.  So, most of my text books are from before most of these kids were born. Stack them deep and teach them cheap. It’s the Utah way. In the evening I went out to the warm springs  and stayed until 7:30 when it began to get dark. Then I went cruising through Liberty Park  where I went home with someone to his place but the chemistry wasn’t clicking  so I left and I was home by 9:30. Mike Pipkin went out with John Schellinger to celebrate at KRCL as they had reached a pledge drive goal of $50,000. I wanted to go but was just really tired to make the effort so I just went to bed at 10 o’clock.

20 March 1990 Tuesday

It’s the vernal equinox and the first day of Spring finally and my hay fever is trying to kick in.  It was a nice day out though  around 60 degrees. After leaving school, I came home and fixed some veggie burgers for dinner. After eating, Bob Waldrop dropped by with a letter he wanted me to endorse for his campaign so we visited  for a couple of hours catching up about the community and our lives. After he left about 6 o’clock I went to the warm springs and stayed until almost 9 o’clock. Transients are coming to the pool more and more, leaving litter all around and broken glass. I left when some teenagers came. Teenage boys in groups spell trouble anyway you look at it. I was home and in bed by 10 o’clock. It was a pretty first day this first day of Spring and it’s also Mom and Dad’s 44^th wedding anniversary. I haven’t seen one letter to the editor about the Anne Frank’s exhibit  uproar. I think the Tribune is stonewalling it.  I see a lot of hate letters about teachers, however. Well winter is gone. Hopefully my last one in Utah. I heard a sad song on KRCL during my lunch break. It was basically said, “I changed my lock, I‘ve changed my phone number, I changed the car I drive. I changed the clothes I wear. I’ve changed the city I live in so that you cannot find me.” I think how I’ve done basically all that with Billy Bikowski. I’ve changed my apartment, my phone number, my car, the way I dress and I’m moving to Albuquerque to get away and put some distance between him and me. It hurts too much to live in the same city and not be with him. It’s one of the reasons I moved away from California so as to not be surrounded by memories of John Cunningham.

21 March 1990  Wednesday

It’s the first full day of Spring. This week is really flying while last week seemed to just drag on and on. In fact, this whole long month is going by pretty darn fast. I have started running with my students in the mornings around the  soft ball backstops out on the playing field. It’s about a fourth of a mile. When I was home from School, I called the International Beauty College where John Merrill, also known as Dixie,  is going  to school. I made an appointment for him to cut my hair and trim my beard  this Saturday at 12:30. I haven’t had it cut in about three months and it’s driving me crazy.  After my dinner of coleslaw, veggie burgers, and a bowl of vanilla ice cream, I took  off to keep from staying home and eating. It’s one of the reasons I am out at the warm springs or cruising, to be out of the house. I don’t think Mike Pipkin is going to run Detour’s kitchen after all. Chuck Whyte called me and we visited  for a while. He will start his new job up at the U of U  Medical Center tomorrow from 7 a.m. to 3:30 p.m. with good benefits.  He wants to go into the Medical social work field. When I left the house, I went to the springs but the water there was real low like it had been completely drained and was only slowly being refilled. I stayed for  a couple of hours and it never did fill completely back up. The transients from the homeless shelter have told all the hobos about the springs so they have more or less taken it over.  It was a nice  spring-like day out and I drove down to Liberty Park to cruise. There was nothing going on there at all so I came back to the Buckingham  about 10:30. Billy cat was sitting outside on the patio so I fed him inside the apartment then put him back out. Since John Shellinger told me about feeding Billy cat mackerel and bread, that is what I feed him anymore. No more commercial cat food for Billy.

·         Addendum-GAY BASHING POLICE ACCUSED OF FAILING TO AID GAY CRIME VICTIMS [Deseret News] The Salt Lake City Police Department is failing to respond to hate crimes against gays and is telling homosexuals they bring the crimes upon themselves "because of who we are," a gay man told the City Council Tuesday. But Police Chief Michael Chabries said the incident was an isolated occurrence that the department was already investigating and to paint the entire department as anti-gay because of a single assault is unfair.  On March 9, six gay men were assaulted on Main Street by a 13 assailants, one of whom struck one gay man with a baseball bat, Dennis Morrow, 21, told the council. Morrow said the incident was reported to police, who responded. But a female officer who Morrow could not identify told the group of gays they could expect little police assistance.  "I was told by the police officer that we were not victims, we were bringing it on ourselves because of who we are," Morrow said. "That's basically like saying that if the blacks were willing to go back to Africa that the Klu Klux Klan would not burn crosses on their front lawns," Morrow said. Morrow, who said he was not representing an organized homosexual group, asked the council and Mayor Palmer DePaulis to pressure the police department into responding more appropriately to hate crimes. "We'd like to count on the Salt Lake Police Department's support . . but if we can't, we'll fight back anyway we can," he said. "Yes, it's a tough issue. It's an issue that's got a lot of taboos surrounding it. But we're asking you to put ethics and justice before that," he said. Chabries said he was aware of the incident and it was under investigation. However, no formal complaint has been lodged against the officer whom Morrow quoted, and therefore he was not aware of her comments.  "All we have to have is a complaint of misconduct (by an officer) and we'll look into it," Chabries said. While Morrow said he was aware of other hate crimes against gays, Chabries said "that's easy for him to say at a City Council meeting." No one has reported similar incidents to the department. "I've been chief now for almost two years, and this is the first time that complaint's been raised, and he didn't take it to me, he took it to the City Council," Chabries said. 

22 March 1990 Thursday

This month really seems to be speeding by. The weather has been holding up also. I really didn’t  do much today after leaving work.  In the evening I went back to the springs but the water level was real low again but I stayed until about 9 o’clock  when some teenagers came up so I left and drove to Liberty Park. I met this guy at the park and he climbed into the back of my van and we fucked lying on my fold down bed. I felt afterwards unsatisfied, uneasy. A type of gnawing at my inner self. I am not at peace with myself for some reason.  I’ve been searching for something all week  but not sure what. There’s an emptiness in me that can only be filled by searching inward and not outward. Unfortunately, I’ve spent most of the week searching outside of myself .-

23 March 1990 Friday

I had been dreading this week and actually it just flew by. At school I was so tired and worn down  and my hay fever is beginning to act up. So, when Mike Pipkin paid me $50, I went and bought some Actifed and some rubbers. As sexually active as I have been, I decided I better have a supply on hand. I was rather tired also this evening but did go up to the U of U men’s sauna to relax but did not stay long before coming home and going to bed at 10 o’clock. Mike Pipkin went out somewhere but I was too tired to go with him as I had been getting home rather late this week. I want to cut back my physical need and get them in balance with my spiritual needs.

24 March 1990 Saturday

I packed a lot of living into this Saturday. I was up at 8 o’clock and drove over to the springs. There I saw that someone had stolen the tongue and groove flood gates but they had been replaced  with some plastic and two by fours to hold back the water. The transients and teenagers are trashing the place leaving beer bottles and garbage around. I saw  this old hobo there who kept spitting into the sulfur water. It grossed me out so I left. I went to the downtown post office on 200  South to see why my Troll Book Orders had never come. They said I would have to contact the company as they couldn’t trace it. Oh Well.  At 12:30 I had a hair appointment with John Merrill. He's in training at the International Beauty College. Mike Pipkin wanted to go with me to visit with John as he cut my hair. I had him do a wedge cut and it’s okay. I really needed a haircut badly. It was such a pretty day to be out and about,  so Mike and I decided  to drive out to Bare-Ass Beach past 72^nd West near the shore of the Great Salt Lake. It was still kind of nippy out to get totally nude but there were a lot of guys cruising around, I think more interested in showing off then doing anything substantial.  We did meet this one dude who while cute, was kind of a different type for me. He was into S and M which I am not at all. However, Mike fucked him with a dildo. We stayed until 5 o’clock  and then went back to the city to the Valley Fair Mall  to go to a movie. We saw “Roger & Me” a very important film by Michael Moore and how corporate greed destroyed a community. General Motor was just not interested in sharing its wealth with the community it impacted. After the movie, Mike and I went out cruising around Liberty Park and Memory Grove. We parked and hit the trails at Memory Grove where Mike found some action in the bushes but I didn’t. I really didn’t know what I was searching for, until later going off to the Deerhunter, my favorite bar. There I ordered a beer and while waiting to be served, I foolishly laid $8 down on the bar counter and it was immediately ripped off by a drag hag named Roxie who took off.  I was pissed and sat down at a table thinking I would have a dismal night; until this young, handsome, blond, smiling  man sat down next to me. His name was Tom Stevens and he said he was from Denver. We started visiting as I was extremely attracted to him and to him and I found out that he was also attracted to Mike so I asked him if he wanted to spend the night with Mike and me. He readily agreed and about midnight, after several more beers, and my money being ripped off, we went back to the Buckingham. Tom had some marijuana so we smoked some pot, made out, made love, and I think made friends.  I was totally enamored with Tom. He said he was originally from New Hampshire, which sounded way too familiar as that was where Billy Bikowski is from. He came to Colorado  to become a veterinarian. He’s only 27 years old but his birthday is this coming April 1^st.  I really, really connected with Tom and I told him that Mike and I had been looking for him high and low all day. I truly believe that because we were on some sort of quest.  We all were having a “gay” time, enjoying the sweetness of our masculine love for much of the night. Tom called us his two mountain men. About 3 in the morning, out of passion from having fucked for hours, and exhausted we fell into a sort of puppy pile with Mike and Tom falling asleep while I basked in a warm afterglow.

25 March 1990 Easter Sunday

None of us got any restful sleep last night, even though Mike Pipkin went off to sleep by himself I his bed while I clung onto Tom Stevens until we woke up with kisses and erections. We slowly started to drift awake, stirring after an exhausting yet ecstatic night of passion. Even though I felt drugged out, I got up and showered because I knew it would be a busy day. When I was out of the shower, Mike was already up and smoking Tom’s pot. Jeff wood  called at 10 o’clock and wanted me to go with him to the swap meet at the State Fair grounds. I told him I would be busy this afternoon as I had to go to the Anne Frank Exhibit today but said I could go for a little while. We went to North Temple where I bought a great little book called “Someday You Will Marry. It was an LDS book written in the 1950’s and it is a hoot! It was really funny although I doubt it was meant to be, as it is so pathetic and sexist, detailing how to be submissive to a husband and become a “good” mother. Anyway, on the way back into the city, Jeff and I had a spat over his wanting to have kids by marrying a woman. I said he was crazy.  I then had Jeff drop me off at the City-County Building in Washington Square to meet up with the folks from the Stonewall Town Meeting who were already there.  We passed out “Silence=Death” stickers to anyone who would take one and Dale Sorenson had cut construction paper, that I had laminated at school, into Pink Triangles that people could wear. He made bout three hundred of them and we passed them out also. David Nelson, Andy Dalrymple, Mark Lawrence, and Dale Sorenson were the main ones outside the entrance to the exhibit handing out the triangles. I guess I was there for most of the day passing out flyers and triangles also. Some angry woman kicked the shoe box containing the pink triangles down the steps of the building but on the whole  there wasn’t any real trouble. About one hundred-fifty people attended the 5 o’clock rally  where Robert Austin  gave a rousing speech about winning victories and Michelle Parish-Pixler, director of the Utah American Civil Liberties Union  spoke about defending the Bill of Rights instead of letting it fray around the edges. Robert Austin at one point thanked everyone who helped with the “witness” today including the “radical activists.”  Randall Meyers looked at me and said, “That’s you Ben!”  A dubious honor to be sure but probably accurate if being pro-Gay is being radical. So many people from our community were there I couldn’t begin to enumerate all of them. The entire officers of the Gay and Lesbian Community Council of Utah was present throughout the day and I saw most if not all the organizations represented, except for the Royal Court, throughout the crowd. If they were there , they kept to themselves. I talked with Ben Barr director of the Utah AIDS Foundation about having him be a facilitator at Beyond Stonewall this summer. He said he is considering running for State School Board and said that Dr. Patty Reagan may run for some state office too. I work the crowd, greeting all my friends and people who are actively working to build up our community. Becky Moss was there  with Catherine Clark, as were Liza Smart, Rhonda Nielson, Angela Nutt, Kevin Warren, Garth Chamberlain and his boyfriend Butch, David Sharpton, Mitch Golden, John Martin, Craig Miller, Jimmy Hamamoto and so many more; just too many to mention. After the pep rally we walked as a group up Second East to  St. Mark’s Episcopal Church  where there was a memorial service for all the Holocaust victims. Hunter Davis, who is performing for the Utah National Organization for Women tonight, sang a song at the service. Afterwards  we lit candles and left the cathedral in a procession of light. It was a great day. I went home and stayed in for the rest of the evening and went to bed aby 9 o’clock.

·         Addendum-The Anne Frank Holocaust Exhibit opened at the City-County Building and on Easter Sunday and sparked widespread protest in the Gay and Lesbian communities of the time because homosexuals were not permitted to be mentioned as victims of the holocaust “Three pages were removed from the 38 guide page educational supplement supplied to teachers who intend to visit with their classrooms at the school board’s request.  The pages were entitled The Fate of the Homosexuals Under Nazi Rule.” The GLCCU’s spokesman Robert Austin said the coalition will not protest the exhibit, as was announced earlier but will “witness" to the suffering of homosexuals at the hands of the Nazis. He said "witnessing" will include wearing pink triangles and perhaps carrying candles and distributing information. Victims of the Holocaust included "not just Jews and gypsies but Gay people too, " Austin said. At the Anne Frank Holocaust Exhibit a woman outraged by the presence of Gay activists angrily kicked a box full of symbolic pink triangles down the steps of the Salt Lake City-County Building. The Gay activists were offering the pink triangles to everyone who entered the exhibit, explaining that they were used by the Nazis to identify homosexuals. About half of those visiting the exhibit Sunday afternoon accepted the emblem.

26 March1990 Monday

"The time has come to talk of many things: Of shoes—and ships—and sealing-wax— Of cabbages—and kings— And why the sea is boiling hot— And whether pigs have wings." I ran into Frank Fatah of all people  up at the University of Utah on my way to give Dr. Patty Reagan the book I bought  at the swap meet yesterday  “Someday You Will marry.”  Frank painted a pretty dismal picture of how Billy Bikowski was doing as he was three months behind on rent, had been sick, and he said he wasn’t working. For some reason I was seized with an incredible desire just to hold him again. I found out from Dan Fahndrich where Billy is living and drove up to see him but he wasn’t home. Consumed with a mania, I went back at 10 o’clock at night when Frank was home and we visited . He said that Bill was at work at some temporary agency. When I left, I wondered why was I there and whether I really wanted to open that door  again. Danie Traynor called me tonight and she’s a reporter for the Private Eye newspaper. She‘s doing a story on violence against Gay people and I told her I’d put her in contact with other folks who would be willing to talk to her about having been bashed. I can’t get Billy out of my head. But knowing he is working somehow helps me calm down, because at least he is doing something constructive. Tonight, is the Academy Aard’s Oscars and I could not care less. I heard that Steve Oldroyd is hosting an Oscar night party at his place around the corner on 1^st Avenue and Mike Pipkin went to it. I’m not interested in the least.

·         Addendum-Death-row inmate: Prison officials say wounds weren't serious, but they plan to keep a closer eye on Archuleta now. KILLER RECOVERING AT PRISON AFTER APPARENT SUICIDE TRY  Condemned killer Michael Anthony Archuleta remains under observation in the Utah State Prison infirmary after attempting suicide with a razor blade last week, Warden Eldon Barnes said. "Yes, he did attempt suicide last Tuesday," cutting his arms and neck with the blade from a disposable razor issued to prisoners for shaving, Barnes said Sunday. Archuleta, 26, was treated at the University of Utah Medical Center and released the same day to the prison. "It wasn't very serious or they would've kept him at (the medical center)," Barnes said. Archuleta will remain in the infirmary until prison medical personnel authorize his release back to regular housing in the Uinta II maximum security unit. Barnes said a deputy warden who spoke with Archuleta about the incident indicated the inmate was "depressed about the situation he was in." "Well, for some reason he was upset. I can't tell you it was a diagnosis of depression. He was just upset with being in prison," the warden said. Barnes said there is no way to predict suicide attempts at the prison, but Archuleta will be watched more closely. "For anybody that wants to try to attempt to kill themselves, there's not much we can do. Otherwise, we're now aware that he's inclined that way and we'll pay closer attention as we deal with him. We'll have doctors and if we need to, psychiatrists," he said. In December, Archuleta was convicted of first-degree murder and sentenced to die for the November 1988 torture murder of Gordon Ray Church of Delta. Co-defendant Lance Conway Wood, 21, earlier this month received a life sentence for his role in the slaying.

·         1990 [Deseret News] ANTI GAY COALITION LASHES OUT AT EXHIBIT INCIDENT KICKING OF TRIANGLES AT HOLOCAUST DISPLAY ANGERS GAY ACTIVISTS At an exhibit Sunday recalling the hatred and bigotry that fed the Holocaust, a woman outraged by the presence of gay activists angrily kicked a box full of symbolic pink triangles down the steps of the Salt Lake City-County Building. Those who witnessed the incident said nothing could have illustrated the purpose of the exhibit - "The World of Anne Frank" - as vividly as that woman's intolerance. "Hopefully, the exhibit taught her something," said one member of a civil liberties coalition that held a vigil and rally outside the building. The gay activists were offering the pink triangles to everyone who entered the exhibit, explaining that they were used by the Nazis to identify homosexuals. About half of those visiting the exhibit  Sunday afternoon accepted the emblem. Spokesman Robert Austin said the coalition was formed in response to a short-lived plan to exclude mention of the Nazi persecution of homosexuals from instructional packets distributed to Utah teachers. The controversy that followed actually increased public awareness of the plight of homosexuals in the Holocaust, Austin said. Michele Parish-Pixler, executive director of the American Civil Liberties Union of Utah, agreed, saying, "Regardless of whether they support gay rights or not, a lot of people were outraged at the attempt to censor history." Two weeks ago, a spokeswoman for Geneva Steel, the corporate sponsor of the exhibit, said the firm had deleted a three-page section - "The Fate of Homosexuals under Nazi Rule" - from the instructional packets at what it thought was the request of state education officials. But school officials responded that there had been a "misunderstanding" and that the material would be distributed to the 70 teachers who had requested the packets in preparation for class tours of the exhibit. State Superintendent of Public Instruction James E. Moss later explained that his staff had alerted Geneva officials to one page on "current homosexual activities" and warned that it could cause some public concern. The page depicts a triangle with the words "Gays Against Fascism," a symbol that was developed by the Gay Liberation Movement as a tribute to homosexuals who were victims of the Nazi persecution. Moss said that while the symbol had some historical roots, it appeared to be associated to a potentially controversial contemporary movement. "Our staff merely advised Geneva Steel of this concern," Moss said. Geneva contributed about $50,000 to sponsor the program, which opened at noon Sunday at the City-County Building. Gay activists had threatened to protest the exhibit but decided on the vigil instead when the misunderstanding was resolved. "I think people know more about both the exhibit and the fact that homosexuals were one of the groups targeted for extermination. That in itself is important," Austin said. "Now all we can hope for is that teachers use the information provided and teach the entire history associated with the Holocaust." Parish-Pixler, who was visiting the exhibit with her children, said ignorance perpetuates discrimination, fear and hatred. "If you teach kids tolerance when they are young, they are less likely to be bigots when they grow up." After participating in a rally at the City-County Building east steps, about 100 people marched to St. Mark's Episcopal Cathedral for a memorial service honoring Holocaust victims. In addition to the pink triangles, coalition members distributed an informational flier relating some of the history of the persecution of homosexuals. It noted that between 250,000 and 500,000 homosexuals were killed in Nazi death camps. "After the war, Allied troops liberated the camps and helped many of the survivors go back to European life," the flier said. "But the troops sent the homosexual survivors to German jails for being "criminals.' Almost all died there."

·         1990-Rob Epstein won an Oscar for Common Threads: Stories from the Quilt. Common Threads: Stories from the Quilt is a 1989 documentary film that tells the story of the NAMES Project AIDS Memorial Quilt. Narrated by Dustin Hoffman with a musical score written and performed by Bobby McFerrin, the film focuses on several people who are represented by panels in the Quilt

·         1990-International Chrysis, a transgendered performer, died of lung cancer at age 38.  International Chrysis was a member of the Hot Peaches troupe and appeared briefly in the 1968 documentary The Queen. She toured drag supper clubs in the 1970s and moved her show to nightclubs in the 1980s, performing her revues Jesus Chrysis Superstar and the Last Temptation of Chrysis. She appeared in the 1990 film Q&A shortly before her death. Chrysis died of liver cancer, attributed to illegal breast enhancement injections and high levels of hormones. A documentary about her life was released posthumously. Dead or Alive briefly recorded under the name "International Chrysis" in her honor.

·         1990-Fashion designer Halston died of complications from AIDS, age 57. Roy Halston Frowick, known simply as Halston, was an American fashion designer, who rose to international fame in the 1970s. His designs were popular fashion wear in mid-1970s discotheques and redefined American fashion. An American designer, Halston was well known for creating a style for “American Women”. From his point of view, the “American Woman” was about having a relaxed urban lifestyle. He created a new phenomenon in the 1970s. Halston believed that women can wear the same clothing for the entire day on any occasion

27 March 1990 Tuesday

After leaving work, I went over to Bob Waldrop’s Apartment on Eight East to give him the letter of recommendation that he wanted me to write for him to the Human Rights Campaign. I met his young boyfriend named John, a real cutie. Bob said he’d be willing to talk to Ms. Traynor about  fag bashing. Good. Anyway, I left at 7 o’clock  to meet these guys who I met on this new telephone dating service Mike Pipkin told me about, called Telemale  You leave a message in your voice box and if people are interested they can call you. I wrote “My name is Ben. I’m 39 years old, blue eyes, brown hair, beard and mustache, teddy bearish, looking for someone to cuddle and frolic  with. Looking for mature men who are on top of things. Not looking for a longtime companion just the right person for a buddy. Call me at 531-6846, reasonable hours. Not into head games, serious men only. No phone sex, real action only. “ But I was stood up. Just as well. I wasn’t really in the mood so instead I went up I Street to 12^th Avenue to see if Billy Bikowski was home. I felt compelled to do so. When I arrived he had just finished eating and wanted to go for a little walk with me, which we did. I think he wanted to see me as much as I wanted to see him. It began to rain slightly on us by the time we had walked back to his place. There Billy showed me some of the wood carving projects he’s working on now. He’s carving beautiful designs into kitchen cabinets. We really didn’t talk much  about any thing meaningful. We spent much of the time just reconnecting. I held him, massaged him a little, and at one point sat him down and looked at him, eye to eye and said, “You will never have to live out on the streets as long as I am alive. You always have me as family. I am your family Billy. No one can go through  as much as we have and not become family.” As that we talked so long, he missed his bus to work because of me so I drove him to UPS where he’s working on 2100 South and Redwood Road. I have no idea how he’s getting home at 3:30 in the morning. I told Billy that I loved him and will always love him.

28 March 1990 Wednesday

Strangely I woke up at 3:15 this morning thinking of Billy and then realized that it’s the time he would be getting off work.  I heard the rain still coming down and prayed that he would be okay. My day at school went pretty fast but I’m been taking Actifed to keep my hay fever in control.  I bought Tom Stevens a birthday card at Cahoots on 9^th and 9^th in Sugarhouse. His birthday is this Sunday. I then drove to the warm springs to see if my hay fever would calm down sitting in the sulfur fumes but it didn’t so I only stayed  until 8 o’clock. The place is also getting a little bit scary I think. I thought of Billy Bikowski a lot today but I didn’t call him. I don’t want it to seem like I am pursuing  him again. Besides, he is still involved in a relationship with Rem and I can’t deal with that. I just wanted to hold him and I did. So that is that. He did tell me that Ed Firmage spoke at Affirmation last Sunday and suggested that homosexuality  is simply being  out of balance. Gawd! I’m so glad I wasn’t there. So very glad. As it was, I was just furious hearing about it second handedly through Bily.  How dare he say we are out of balance and especially to a bunch Gays who can’t seem to leave the Mormon crap behind.  The owner of the new date line called Telemale called me and said he was worried that my message I left was too explicit, so I said, fine delete it! Paranoid faggots . I did  call this guy named Roger who left a message on the site, for a date tomorrow. We’ll see.

29 March 1990 Thursday-

We  were paid today although I am not sure why we were early. I cleared $875 and deposited my check after leaving work. At home I didn’t do much this evening. I did get a call from a man named Lynn Packer  who is a free lance reporter, who wanted to interview me about the Charles Van Dam and Gordon B. Hinckley tapes. I said I’d meet him this Saturday at 1.  Roger from the trick line never showed so afterwards I went out cruising around a little bit but didn’t see anything or anyone interesting . In the news Urvashi Vaid of the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force  interrupted a speech by President Bush, accusing him of a lack of action on AIDS.

30 March 1990 Friday

It was Career Ladder Day so I had no kids as it’s the end of the term and I had to do report cards all morning. In the afternoon,  I watched some videos  on the District Heath Reading Program  for in-service credit. I was out of there by 3:30 and when Michael Pipkin came home he paid me the rest of the money  he owes me for March. So now we are square however Sunday is April 1^st and we will start all over again. I received the phone bill also and it was $45 of which about $35 of it was from  Mike making long distant phone calls and being on various date lines. I asked him if he wanted to go see a move with me and we went to an early show and saw “Lord of the Flies” which was good and had a whole cast of future young stars. After the show let out,  we wanted to go to the Spaghetti Factory at Trolley Square but it being Mormon General Conference weekend the place was packed and we didn’t want to wait. So, we drove down State Street  and went to the Noodle House instead. After eating, we then went to beer bust at the Deerhunter. It was kind of boring there tonight but we stayed anyway until 11 before heading over to Detours. I was only drinking 7Up at the Deerhunter with just a splash of vodka so I was feeling mellow but not impaired to drive. When we got into Detours at 11:30, the place was packed with wall to wall bodies and really jumping. I saw Chuck Whyte there with his friends and so many others I knew. I danced mainly with Kevin Warren co president of the Lesbian and Gay Student Union. Mike and I were only there a short time when the club closed so after we left Detours, Mike  tried to drag me off to an afterhours party at Little America. I saw some of the guys and they looked  like they were on drugs and I knew it would be a disaster. At Little America I had a bad vibe about going up so I wouldn’t let Mike drag me into the room. Instead, I sat in the van until  we finally left. Mike came out and admitted that the party was a bad idea probably because he couldn’t get laid or they ran out of pot. So, we went cruising around Broadway and Main Street. To make a long story short, we finally went to the sulfur springs where we met Brandon Burt there about 4:30 in the morning. He came home with us and we made love before falling asleep about 5:50 Saturday morning.

31 March 1990 Saturday

Today would have been my Grandma Williams 88^th birthday. She was born in Stonewall County, Texas. Anyway, Brandon and I slept in until 10 o’clock ad I had him penetrate me one more time before final getting up for the day. I wanted to straighten up the apartment and get cleaned up myself before this Lynn Packer came over at 1 in the afternoon. I may be wrong but I trust this guy and I gave him my story regarding my connection with the Van Dam case and about Christy Bradley. I also gave him a copy of my cassette tape recording of the Van Dam Death bed confession. I didn’t give him any one else’s connection with the story but told him I would contact  other folks to see if they were willing to talk to him. In the late afternoon, I went with Mike Pipkin and Brand Burt up to the sauna at the U of U where I sweated and detoxed and rested for about an hour. Brandon stayed at the sauna and got it on with this cute black dude while Mike and I  left to go grocery shopping. I bought items to make lasagna for dinner for the rest of the week. Also, I bought some canned mackerel  for Billy Cat. I’ve stopped feeding him commercial cat food. I just tear up some whole wheat bread and mash it up with the fish for him. It ls cheaper  than cat food and better for him. Billy got into a bad cat fight this week and his eye is all swollen up but he’s getting better. In the evening I just stayed home for a change and made lasagna for next week. I put spinach, squash, and lots of good things in it but no meat. It was a beautiful day, this last day of March. I called Fran today. She had left a  note on my door the other day saying she had broken up  with  Vince and was needing some help. I told her I would send her $15 a week for some pocket money. It’s about all I can afford. She said she is becoming a feminist. At her Utah Valley Community College philosophy class, she informed the instructor that there wasn’t any women on his reading list! He replied so what. Fran replied men and women think differently, that’s so what.