Spring 2nd Quarter Journal 1994 April- June

 APRIL

1 April 1994 Friday

Michael Romero and I were up at 7:30 this morning . Mom and dad were already gone to the V.  A. Hospital in Prescott  as Dad’s knee was very swollen from twisting it yesterday  while out fishing with  Milton and Marie.  So we left pretty early to head north to go see the Grand Canyon. Michael had never seen it before so we drove back through Flagstaff then out  State Road 180  on into the National Park.  We were there a little after noontime  and the park was already crowded but not to the point of feeling trampled. We drove out to Hermit’s End and stopped to see the different views of the panorama. It was all quite spectacular. We spent about three hours in the park  looking at different sights. We would have probably stayed longer if it hadn’t been so windy. It was awful out, really gusty. We brought our bikes but we didn’t ride any as it was a little too chilly out. We left the park by the east entrance and drove down into Navajo country out through the town of Cameron. Coming back to Flagstaff we stopped at a Carl Jr. hamburger  joint which I don’t think I have eaten at in 20 years. We then headed back down to Cottonwood where we arrived around 7:30 in the evening. We ate dinner with mom and dad. Mom made a bean and rice casserole. We stayed up to about 10 visiting and seeing how dad’s leg was which was wrapped.  Mom said my oldest cousin Francis Ann and her husband Eddie Griess sold their home in Huntington Beach California and are moving to Grant’s Pass in Oregon to live. Afterward visiting and catching up we went to bed. I think Mom and Dad like Michael a lot.

2 April 1994 Saturday

My hay fever acted up last night and I ended up taking eye drops  and some medicine. I could tell mom and dad wanted to spend some time with us so we all took a car trip to Wickenburg  over the Prescott National Forest Mountains.   But before taking off, Michael Romero and I went to Montezuma  Castle at Camp Verde  while mom went and had her hair done. Castle Montezuma  was an old Anasazi  cliff pueblo that was really well preserved. You weren’t allowed to climb up into it but around it was pretty accessible and impressive.  When we went back to be with mom and dad  for the day trip to Wickenburg, the trip to and back took about 5 hours  We first drove  up to Jerome over the mountain into Prescott then out through Skull Valley  down Highway 89 into Wickenburg. I really wasn’t all that impressed with Wickenburg but Michael and I are checking  out all kinds of places  that we could move to in Arizona. Michael wants to move south and I think I do also . We ate in Wickenburg  and had some homemade ice cream while we were there. It was nice that dad and mom were treating us no different than they treat my sister Charline and her husband Dennis. We finally were back in Cottonwood  at 6 and we just ate left over for our supper. The weather here is just about right. We went bicycling  in the early evening around the town. Daylight Savings time begins tonight but we are spared for a couple of days as Daylight Savings isn’t enforced in Arizona.

3 April 1994 Sunday

Mom and Dad didn’t attend morning services at the Church of Christ s we could go to Easter Dinner together.  Michael Romero and I went to the Walmart and Smiths to get snacks for the road and we were surprised that Wal-Mart was closed. It was another beautiful day  and I have been wearing shorts for that past 4 days and have loved it. We met mom and dad at Sizzler’s Steak house at 11:30 and had Easter dinner there. Michael and I treated  them. There were lots of little old ladies decked out in their Easter finery, pastel dresses to go with pastel hair. Michael and I saw a Streamliner camper  listed for $3000. I think he would really like to get one.  After dinner we went back home, visited some more, then packed  and loaded up the Balzer.  It was a nice short visit  but we had to get back on the road as I had to be back at work on Tuesday and Michael starts at Big A this week.  We said our goodbyes and were on the road by 1:30 . We drove back up to Flagstaff on Interstate 17 and then took I-40 west.  We did make some detours as we stopped in Williams, Arizona so Michael could look at the train museum  there and inquire about the Grand Canyon  train that goes back and forth between Williams and the Grand Canyon.  We also took a detour to travel the historic Roue 66 into Kingmen, Arizona instead of the interstate.  It was a pretty route but all the little towns on Route 66 are pretty much all ghost towns now. We cut crossed to Bull head City and Laughlin  and headed up to Las Vegas  that way. It was nearly 8  at night when we finally reached Vegas and checked in to Motel 6. Once settled in the motel we drove to Caesar’s Place, parked and the walked around to look at all the shops. It was pretty windy and chilly in Vegas but we did see the exploding volcano  at the Mirage. Vegas sure has turned into an adult Disneyland.

Additional Material Broadway designer John Lee Beatty recalls vividly the last time he saw his former teacher, Ariel Ballif: twenty-two years ago in New Haven, Conn.    ``He was standing in front of our class at Yale, speaking in that wonderful voice,'' Beatty says from his Manhattan apartment. ``He was a colorful and dramatic teacher, with a great sense of humor and an inordinate amount of patience. When we designed something terrible, he had a charming way of letting us know it was terrible. He let us down gently with that certain look of his.''    Ballif remembers Beatty as an incredible painter. ``Everything he did came out just wonderfully.''    The Utah teacher bid adieu to the Ivy League halls of Yale in the early '70s, returning home to share his love of theater with Salt Lakers.    On April 24, the 1994 Madeleine Award for Distinguished Service to the Arts and Humanities will be given to Ariel Ballif --    On April 24, the 1994 Madeleine Award for Distinguished Service to the Arts and Humanities will be given to Ariel Ballif -- designer, director, teacher, producer – in recognition of his contributions in Utah.  The award is offered in conjunction with the Madeleine Festival, a month of arts activities beginning April 10 at the Cathedral of the Madeleine.    Beatty, a Californian, graduated from Yale in 1973 and stayed in the East. His 20-year career in costume and scenic design netted him a Tony Award for ``Talley's Folly.''  His designs are now on Broadway in  ``The Sisters Rosensweig.''    Another Ballif student, Broadway designer Santo Loquasto, also went to New York from Yale. He received a Tony for his costumes in ``The Cherry Orchard.''    The 1994 Madeleine committee's selection has been greeted with effusive expressions of joy.  ``A perfect choice,'' says Pack, who appeared in more than 50 productions directed by Ballif.    ``A marvelous choice,'' responds actor Margaret Crowell.   ``Ariel has contributed enormously to theater in this community,'' says Pioneer Theatre Company artistic director Charles Morey. ``It is a very meaningful choice, and, I might add, about time.''   Makes it work. Peter Willardson, PTC lighting designer, describes his mentor as one of the few remaining scenographers in an age of specializations. Ballif, he says, has the ability to take an entire production, costumes, lights, sets and direction, put them all together and make it work. ``As one of PTC's major designers, Ariel has been a leader in our visual work,'' Morey says. ``If we have developed a company style over the years, it is Ariel's stamp that is on it.''    Morey adds that Ballif's contributions to PTC and the U. of U. do not overshadow what he has done for Utah theater. He remembers years ago, at the beginning of his career in New York, hearing about Ariel Ballif and the work he was doing at the Yale School of Drama, headed at the time by Robert Brustein. ``In some measure,'' Morey says, ``Ariel walked away from a national career to establish a theater in Utah. By creating Theatre 138 in Salt Lake, he paved the way for every theater in this city to grow. Without him, there would be no Salt Lake Acting Company, and all of us in theater out here would be 20 years behind where we are today.''    Ariel Ballif sits in a longhorn-steer chair, circa 1880. It is a collector's item that Ballif and his Theatre 138 partners, Tom Carlin and Stewart Falconer, acquired from an estate in the Midwest before moving to Utah in 1962. ``Our Sitting Bull sat in it when we produced `Annie Get Your Gun,' '' Ballif quips, recallling the early days at 138, Salt Lake City's first alternative theater, which opened in 1966 and remained for 20 years.    The theater brought several firsts to Salt Lake audiences. It produced new plays by Utah authors. It offered works by Tennessee Williams and Edward Albee that the universities would not touch, and it ventured into such daring territory as ``Equus,'' a play with nudity; ``Sticks and Bones,'' a play with profanity; ``Chicago,'' a bawdy musical. The intimate theater on 200 East also staged ``Carnival'' with an interracial cast. No one complained. Ballif, Falconer and Carlin met in Richmond, Va., in the early '50s and opened a small theater, The Renaissance. They stayed several years until the owners ``started telling us what to do and that never went over well,'' Ballif says.    In 1962, Ballet West founder Willam Christensen contacted Ballif about returning home and taking a teaching position at the U. Falconer and Carlin accepted jobs at Pioneer Memorial Theatre, and the three partners moved to Salt Lake.    Born in Idaho. Ballif was born May 29, 1926, in Rexburg, Idaho, and named after his father, Ariel S., the former chairman of the sociology department at Brigham Young University. Family lore reveals several versions about the name Ariel, but the one the designer prefers goes like this: An expectant Grandmother Ballif was ordered to bed in anticipation of a hefty baby. While resting, she read Shakespeare's ``The Tempest'' and decided if the child was a son, he would be named in honor of Ariel in the play.   ``I have since discovered that I had a great-uncle named Ariel,'' Ballif says, ``but I prefer to think that my father and I were named after the Shakespeare character.'' The senior Ballif, now 93, lives in Provo, the city he once served as councilman and mayor.    Ballif's mother, the late Artamisia Romney Ballif, was a BYU graduate, a teacher of elocution, an actress and an accomplished painter whose works are displayed prominently in her son's Salt Lake City home.  His mother's love of the arts had a lasting effect, as did two ``wonderful teachers of art and drama at Provo High.'' His first acting role in high school was as an insane George III, opposite a young girl who was ``the most gorgeous creature I had ever seen.'' His second role he starred as a football hero -- ``not typecasting,'' he says wryly. He blames a ``terrible junior-high coach'' for destroying any interest in sports, but today admits to getting a kick out of watching golf and tennis on television.     After graduation from BYU, he entered graduate school at Yale, receiving a master's degree in 1952. A one-year teaching stint at Brandeis University in Boston was followed by the move to Richmond.    There are no regrets about coming home. After five years at Yale, he was ready to leave.    He does, however, remember his teaching days at Yale with longing. The students were bright and challenging, and he was able to take the time with them to really learn, ``unlike today, when everyone is in such a hurry to get through and there is such a mercenary attitude toward everything. I don't care how many centuries we cover in a quarter. We're shoving too much too fast at the students and not allowing them to understand. Unfortunately, today's students -- and professors -- are less interested in learning and more concerned about making money.''    His decision to retire in June from teaching is anguishing, but necessary.   ``I love drawing. I love designing and I adore teaching, but I can no longer draw and I am unable to paint,'' he says, lifting a right hand that refuses to quit shaking. ``Physically my body won't permit it.''    The Madeleine Award is embarrassing to this modest man, who accepts the honor by saying he is ``delighted, grateful and happy that people like what I have done.''   His association with Charles Morey and Pioneer Theatre has been ``one of the great pleasures of my life.'' In characteristic Ballif tone, he dismisses the recent controversy about PTC productions as utter nonsense.  ``There are a lot of bigots who are out to close down anything that does not do what they think it ought to do. Who cares what they think? I tell Chuck to continue doing his bit, do what he believes is right. If you do something honestly, the audiences will be with you.''    Willam Christensen concurs. The two artists have a long association, dating back to the '50s, when Ballif first designed for the Utah Civic Ballet. ``If you wait for everybody to agree with you, nothing ever happens,'' says Mr. C. ``You must go forward with what you think is right. That is how I was. That is how [Maurice] Abravanel was. And that is how Ariel has always been.'' Ballif says if he has contributed anything to Utah, it is getting people interested in alternative theater. He is aware that Salt Lake's smaller houses would not exist were it not for the intimate theater founded by Ballif, Falconer and    Carlin, but he has no concern for what or how they are doing today. This is a time of reflection for Ballif, an emotional period that has been painfully colored by the death in October of his business partner and companion of 40 years, Stu Falconer.  ``It is most difficult right now,'' Ballif says. ``But I returned to Utah because of the mountains and the people, and I have stayed for the same reasons. I have been through my blue period. Now I am into an orange phase. Andspring has arrived. What could possibly be more beautiful than spring?''

4 April 1994 Monday

My hay fever  acted up some last night so I was groggy this morning from taking medicine. We walked around the Luxor Pyramid casino  for most of the morning . We were really impressed by it as it was fantastic. I would like to actually  spend some time at the Luxor but we left Vegas at 11:30.   We had good weather all the way until Cedar City.  We spent some time driving around St. George and were amazed at how much the town has grown. Michael and I even thought about moving down there especially after we  hit snow all the way from Cedar City  to Nephi.  After being in shorts, it sure was a disappointed to see so much snow.  We finally made it into Salt Lake City  at 7:30. I mailed off my pickup truck payment  and mailed the rent check before  going grocery shopping. At the apartment Benjamin Anderson  was just leaving to go volunteer  at the Stonewall Center. He said he actually started work at U.S. West today. That is good.

5 April 1994 Tuesday

Well it was back to work with Benjamin Anderson, Michael Romero, and I all having to be at work at 8 his morning. Benjamin was driving me nuts with all his jabbering  this morning as I didn’t sleep  very well last night  because of my hay fever. I took  some hay fever pills and they wiped me out for much of the day.  Michael Romero came home from Big A at 4:30 as he was off early to take a drug test. This evening we went out and bought  a frame for our Settle Men’s Choir Poster. And then to the post office to check my box for mail.  We bought a pizza for dinner because we were too tired to cook. I am  really mad at Benjamin as he only paid $150 in rent this time  although he put over 400 miles on the truck while I was gone as well a smashing the bumper and the tail turn light. He didn’t even tell me until I saw it. I paid all my bills today as I had my paycheck of $1,354 in the credit union.  I felt kind of out of it and groggy all day.  Michael and I were going to ask Benjamin to move tonight but he didn’t come home until after we already went to bed.’

6 April 1994-Wednesday-

I met  our new principal  for next year. Her name is Pamela Park and she is about my age I suppose. She is very “upper”  east side LDS, trim, a go getter, and looked very Relief Society like. Instead of a power suit she was wearing a very tailored long dress.  She’s from Salt Lake City  instead of Davis County which is a plus. We were introduced to her during an in-service  “Site base Decision” making  class.   We are supposed to get two credit for it. At home Michael Romero and I went grocery shopping  and bought some Chinese food at Smiths  for our supper.  We also went to the “Sir Plus”  Ice Cream Social. It was kind of dumb and Rick “Blanche” was there. He said he thought I had gained weight since I saw him last. I thought  what a hateful sow.  Todd Bennett  was there with his ex-lover Eric , along with Kevin Warren, and Harold Jones  among others. Michael made arrangements to go bike riding  this Sunday with Jim Dunker and Glenn if the weather is decent, I still haven’t had a chance to talk to Benjamin Anderson about moving out. Maye this weekend.

Additional Material Dwindling donations and a shortfall in federal funds have prompted the Utah AIDS Foundation to cut hours and staffing, even though demand for its services is rising. ``The support has gone down and the people we're trying to serve has increased tremendously,'' said LaDonna Moore, director of the non-profit Salt Lake City organization To cope with what Moore called a ``financial crisis,'' the agency will be closed Fridays. One staff member was laid off, another’s hours were reduced and the remaining 17 employees have taken a 20 percent pay cut. ``It's bound to impact how many folks we can serve,'' Moore said. A recently completed state survey showed why the demand for the program's services has increased. It found the AIDS virus may infect as many as 6,400 Utahns, an increase from previous estimates. But Utah's rate is still low compared to other urban areas. The Utah Department of Health survey included 30,193 patients hospitalized in Salt Lake City and Ogden between 1988 and 1993.Of those, 92 tested positive for human immunodeficiency virus (HIV), which is widely believed to cause AIDS. Based on Utah's 1992 population, that means between 3,600 and 6,400 people may be infected with HIV. Previous informed estimates ranged from 2,400 to 4,500, said George Usher, HIV/AIDS surveillance manager in the Utah Department of Health.  The survey included all hospitalized Utahns who had blood drawn. Once the patients' diagnostic tests were completed, the leftover blood was tested for HIV. Since 1983, 506 Utahns with AIDS have died. That does not include another 194 people whose AIDS was diagnosed elsewhere but who died in Utah. Staffers at the AIDS Foundation do not need health department figures to quantify the toll of AIDS. The agency offers crisis counseling, grief therapy and a statewide hot line. It provides companions for those who have no family to be with them when they die. Last year, its food bank fed 100 people with AIDS and their families. And volunteers deliver 20 hot meals every week to people unable to leave their homes. That program, supported by Holy Cross and LDS hospitals, will not be disrupted by the reduced hours, Moore said.  The foundation also provides community education and prevention, including outreach in the state's parks and bars and among its population of prostitutes. ``We do everything from clothing to food to psychotherapy,'' said Moore, who said she is most worried how the Friday closing will affect clients in need of crisis counseling. ``Anyone who is suicidal or just diagnosed, any of our walk-in population, you'd have to be concerned about anyone who would find us closed.'' She said the funding shortfall was caused by an increased demand for services at the same time as donations fell. The decline in donations has numerous causes, Moore said. ``Apathy. Grief weariness. There are a lot of people who don't believe that being gay is OK,'' she said. ``Anyone who sees AIDS as an issue of morality and not a public health issue is going to impact us.'' Moore said she is counting on a June 18 ``Walk for Life'' fund-raiser to help pull the agency out of its financial hole.( 04/06/94  Page: SLTribune)

7 April 1994 Thursday

I woke up really grumpy and had a headache for much of the day. It rained a lot today so had to keep the kids in for their recesses.  On the way to work my windshield wiper  on the driver side flew off as it was down pouring. Because we had  a faculty meeting this morning , I couldn’t be late so I had to drive into work not seeing very well.  That’s about how my day went.  I even had to get after Nate today for acting up and he started to bawl. It seemed like I wasn’t doing anything right. I came straight home and went back to bed for about an hour until Michael Romero came home. I felt so stressed out.  Michael wanted to go see a movie so we went to see “Grumpy Old Men” with Walter Matthau and Jack Lemmons. They were wonderful together  as always. They make such a great team. Michael then bought me some new windshield wipers and put them on for me. The day ended  a hell of a lot better than it began.  I don’t see Bejamin Anderson  much anymore and it’s so much more peaceful in the Apartment. I need to find a time to sit down with him and ask him find a new place live. I have to do it this weekend.

8 April 1994 Friday

I am feeling so much better today. Thank goodness that it’s Friday. I went to community council at 6:30. Hank Hannah ragged on me me a little for missing a Board of Trustee’s meeting but I said  I wasn’t about to kill myself on the  road just to make  it back in time for a council meeting. It was a low turn out  tonight and there’s nothing  major to report. I took the minutes.  The Doug Kohler murder  trial came up with the prosecuting attorney  wanting to meet  with members of he Gay community  before cutting a deal  with David Thacker’s defense team. LaDonna Moore made a pitch  for the Uah AIDS Foundation  which is struggling financially.  It rained tonight

Additional Material -Gay & Lesbian Community Council of Utah" Minutes Chair-Hank Hannah, Vice Chair- Kim Russo, Secretary-Ben Williams In Attendance Marlin Criddle, Bob McIntier, Shane Jones, John Bennett, Val Mansfield, Melissa Sillitoe, Ben Williams, Antonia De La Guerra,  Edward Kubicek, Alexius M. Gallegos,  Richard Cottino, Kim Russo, Carrie Gayler,  Mark Swonson, Harold Jones, Kevin Hillman, Alan Price, Cal Noyce, Renee Rinaldi, LaDonna Moore, Hank Hannah  Old Business- The subject of  whether chairs of committees of GLCCU have to be members was tabled until next meeting to study whether the By-laws state that all officers of GLCCU must be members of council. Officers Report. Chair report: A fundraiser for Community Council and Pride Day will be held May 22nd on a Sunday. Nelson Ramsey, the Saliva Sisters, and the Lesbian and Gay Chorus will perform. The first volunteer meeting  for the fundraiser will be held April 17th at 1:30 at the JoBurn Building. Please donate to the Tyler Spriggs project of the UAF and the Pillar. BYU really making the lives of Gays and Lesbians of Utah County miserable again. The Utah Valley Non-heterosexual Men's Group, a pioneering Provo support group was especially under attack by BYU's standards office and although the men's group sent a letter to standards requesting a copy of the new policy on attending Gay support groups, they refused to give them one. However unbeknown by the school officials, the group acquired a copy from a Gay office worker any ways. Therapy", a somewhat milder ps have been mailed out.  Anyone who wants a packet can call Antonia de la Guerra.  Nominations are open for the Kristen Ries Community Service Award. For information or to volunteer call Antonia at 466-8843, or Juli at 485-9133 or leave a message at the USC.  Don't forget Pride Day will be held June 12th at the North West Community Center.  The Gay and Lesbian Art Show in conjunction with Pride Day will be extended to a full month and held at the USC.  Art In Your Mouth will also be held again this year. For entries and Art In Your Mouth information call Angela Nutt.!   OUTREACH-  No Report ANTI-VIOLENCE PROJECT-   AVP is writing two grant proposals. Charges in the murder of Douglas Kohler are up in the air.  AVP needs to talk to Park City Attorney Atkinson to get more details. Our survey results will be out the middle of May.  Lots of stuff going on.  If you are interested in volunteering with AVP contact AVP at 534-8989 or call Carrie at 363-5602. Police Liaison Report: Officer Shane Jones  stated that the prosecuting attorneys in the case of Douglas Kohler is seeking input from the Gay Community on how to proceed with the prosecution of the case. Defense Atty. Ron Yengrich is willing to plead his client to a manslaughter charge.  Prosecutors feel because of the involvement of cocaine and sex in the case that the defendant may even walk if it goes to trial.  Several GLCCU members agreed to meet with Atkinson Saturday the 9th of April.  Officer Jones also stated that Gay and Lesbian bashers come out of the "wood works" in the Spring and to exercise good judgment and caution. He recommended a buddy system while attending the bars.  A neighborhood watch was suggested. UTAH STONEWALL CENTER- The USC thanked UAF for its support of the center. A fax machine was donated. The USC has two staff openings available. The Center's volunteers coordinator position is available with 12 hours at $5.50 an hour  and an office manager position of 15 hours at $5.00 an hour is also available.  A telephone fundraising campaign will begin May 2nd.  USC needs volunteers to staff booths for upcoming conferences. A Library Book sale was a great success raising $111 for the library and a fundraiser for the Center on March 27 raised $300. The human service committee will be meeting again in May to be doing some outreach to community groups. A licensed electrician to help with the remodeling of the center was located. STUDY GROUP TASK FORCE- The direction of the study group is to get more people involved with the council from the community. Topics discussed were educating the community on the history of the council, and  having a booth at pride day to introduce the community to GLCCU.  The Study Group Task Force will be meeting the 27th of April ( the last Wednesday of April) at the Stonewall Center at 7:30 p.m. We encourage everyone who has any recommendations or opinions concerning the possible absorption of GLCCU by the Stonewall Center to please come down to the Study Group meeting and let us know your feelings. The Task Force is seeking community involvement for imput on the future direction of the Community Council to meet the changing needs of  Utah.  Call Ben Williams, Greg Garcia or Ed Kubicek at 539-8800 for more information. Organizational Reports U.S. West Eagles. Eagles would like to thank everyone who supported our recent show at the Sun Tavern. We were able to raise $456. $200 will go to the Human  Rights Campaign Fund, $56 will be returned to then Emperor's AIDS Fund and the remaining $200 will help support the Eagle Regional Scholarship Fund.  As in the past Clariss and Vanity put together an outstanding program.  Among those performances was a number by Marci Malone who brought the house down, literal, with a ballistic pump.  Our thanks would not be complete without mentioning the support of Marshall and the Sun.  Their efforts over the years have been pivotal to our success.   Although not directly affiliated with Eagle; two US West groups have been instrumental in providing Funding for the Tyler Spriggs Fund.  The Walk-A-Thon team at our Operator Service office held a fund raiser which brought in $300.  Richard Cottino presented Tyler's story to the Telephone Pioneers of America, a charitable organization of retired and active US West Employees.  As a result the Pioneers have agreed to underwrite a substantial portion of the expense for the trip.  Utah AIDS Foundation The Oscar Night Benefit  held March 21st at the BAY was not successful.  UAF will be closing their doors on Friday until further notice. Support projects for community listed.  The UAF is a concrete Service Agency which also gives prevention classes and  serves a clientele that is 90 % Gay and Lesbian. The state of Utah gives no funding support to the UAF. Your support is crucial and is appreciated. The Foundation needs personal care items such as toilet paper. Begin to plan on participating in Walk For Life in June.  Teams and individuals can be sponsored. The Restoration Church of Jesus Christ-  The Restoration Church of Jesus Christ provides worship services and support to the Gay and Lesbian and Bisexual  Community. Sunday School is at 11:00 a.m. at the Stonewall Center.  Family Home Evening is held each Sunday at 7:30 p.m. Locations vary.  Call 359-1151 for details Gay Lesbian Business & Professional Alliance- A meeting will be held April 27th a Wednesday at 7:00 p.m.  Anyone interested in joining the alliance or would like to learn more about us is welcomed to join us. Wasatch Leathermen Motorcycle Club-  Saturday April 16th there will be a huge -giant- humongous yard sale at the club house. Lavender Moon is a tenant of the building.  Falcon Flight will be at Payson Lakes this year.  The space can accommodate 100 people. Lesbian and Gay Chorus of Salt Lake City- John Bennett reported that the Roberta Achtenberg exposure was a positive experience for the chorus.  There will be a fundraiser in May at the Redwood Road Swap Meet. Asking for donations of old items to sell at the swap meet.  The money raised will help members attend the 1996 Gay and Lesbian Choruses of America convention in Tampa Florida. The Chorus is sponsoring a $50 prize for an original SATB composition for the Chorus through the Gay and Lesbian Pride Day Art Show.  A $25 prize is for an SATB arrangement of an existing song is also available.  For more information call John Bennett at 328-8027 Uranian Publishing  All organizations will need to have all press releases and organizational reports  into the Pillar Office by the 15th of each month.  Any material turned in after that date will not be considered for publication.  Please check your boxes located in the Stonewall Center to update your organization's records and status.  All members of GLCCU are encouraged to support Tyler Spriggs' wish to go to Disneyland and the Utah AIDS Foundation. The Pillar encourages all persons to nominate others for the Kristen Ries Award. The Gay and Lesbian Law Alliance-  No report Gay and Lesbian Youth of Utah-No report-Utah Coalition of Gay, Lesbian, & Bi Union Activists &Supporters- Next meeting Tuesday April 19th at 5:30.  Planning on having a booth at Pride Day in June.   UCGLBUA &S have taken on the incidental expenses for Tyler Spriggs trip to Disneyland. They have among other things provided 2 day passes for four people Video One-No report Delta Institute No Report Women's Community Newsletter No Report Concerning Gays and Lesbian's No Report Utah Gay Rodeo Association-The Rodeo Association will be meeting to decide the future of the organization New Business No new business Next Board of Trustees Meeting 9  May 1994 Monday at U.S.C. 7:00 p.m. Next GLCCU 13 May 1994 Friday at U.S.C. 7:00 p.m.

9 April 1994 Saturday

Well I travel around the sun  another 365 days for the 42^nd time. I’m still alive and kicking.  It rained for much of the day. Michael Romero dropped me off at the genealogical  library where I worked for a couple of hours. I found out some information on Felipe de Jesus Romero’s mother, Manuela  Garcia dela Mora and her family and where they came form in Spain. On the Martin Serrano side of the family I have traced them back into the 1500’s. After leaving the library, Michael and I went to the Deerhunter bar. It was pretty busy  down there and I saw Ken Bruck who I haven’t see in years . He confirmed to me that sweet Ken Francis “Sugar Tush” died of AIDS last November 21^st in San Francisco. It sadden me to actually hear it confirmed  but I have worked through the grief last  November when James Conrad  told me that Ken was dying. Ken Bruck said that Sugar Tush had a really tough  time with it and was on disability for almost two years. I also saw Michael Howard from my Restoration Church days. He seemed really drifty and I think he may have done too many acid trips. It was fun getting out in the community but it made me realize how much I have in Michael.

10 April 1994 Sunday

Today is my 43^rd birthday and I spent it by not doing much of anything on this wet drizzling , gloomy, Sunday. Michael Romero and I slept in until nearly 9:30 probably drugged  from the antihistamines  we took for our hay fever.  Benjamin Anderson was up and I finally talked to him about moving out. He said he  was planning on moving anyway and in with Mark Angus. I said I would like for him to be out by June 1^st so Michael and I could have our own space together. I basically said  that it’s not  just him but that Michael and I need time alone as a couple. That is mostly true I think. I am still upset with him denting my pick up and him not reimbursing me to get it fixed. Oh well. I’ll just be relieved to have him his kinetic energy gone. Michael’s mother Faye called  this morning. I guess we opened a can of worms doing her mother’s genealogy.  Evidently Faye always thought her father’s name was  Grover  when on her birth certificate it said William Trolson of Logan, Utah.  He was a married Mormon who ran off with Nora when she was 14 years old to California where Faye was born. His wife pressed charges as well as Nora’s father and he was sent to prison  where he died of a brain tumor. Michael’s mother really never knew who her real father was  until now  and she is furious with Nora for never telling her. Mom called me to wish me a happy birthday as did Mark Lamar who I hadn’t heard from in years.  Mom  said Milton is home  from the hospital and that dad may have to have surgery on his knee he twisted. I watched some PBS tonight about Oskar Schindler the man who Schindler List was all about. It was very interesting. I didn’t see much of Bejamin Anderson today. I bet he will leave sooner than June,

11 April 1994 Monday

Michael Romeo, Benjamin Anderson and I all went back to work and I was glad it was a short day with the kids. I spent much of my planning time in committee meetings. I thought the lunch schedule meeting was pretty productive, coming up  with different models from different schools.  After work I went to the genealogy  library  and worked until they closed at 6.  The only Trolsons in all of Utah’s 1920 census was an Andrew Trolson  and his son Alpha Trolson  in Cache  Valley, Millville, to be exact. Alpha Trolson has a son born in 1912  named Alpha W. Trolson . It is very likely  that Alpha W is William Trolson, Michael’s grandpa.  I need to get a birth record for absolute proof. If so, then the pedigrees of William Trolson’s parents have all been  researched. His mother Kate Maud Cunnings is a descendant of early Mormon Pioneers  from Nauvoo, Illinois. Anyway at home I fixed some supper for Michael and me and then watched  the first episode of Armistead Maupin's Tales of the City”  which was excellent.

12 April 1994 Tuesday,

I am so disgusted with Ben Anderson. Last night he brought home a trick and that’s not all bad except with him being so looney who knows  what he dragged  in. Then at 1 in the morning  the phone rang and woke me out of a sound sleep . I could not get back to sleep  for anything. It was nearly 4 in the morning before out of exhaustion I finally conked out. I was wasted for most of the day at school.  I really want him out of the apartment. His trick spent the night and left in the morning as Michael Romero and I were just getting up. At 6:45, Benjamin rapped on the closed door and asked, “Michael are you up?” I snapped “What is it Ben?”  I know I sounded pretty surly but I was tired, and, and just about at the end of my patience with him. I was exhausted  at work but came  home and was able to take a quick nap  until Michael came home from work at 5. I then was up and to fix chicken fajitas  for dinner. When Benjamin came home, I got after him about tricks calling at 1 in the morning  and all that crap. He just retreated into his  bedroom so who knows what personality he was in.  Michael and I went clothes shopping  tonight.  I had to get some tops and Michael needed some blue jeans as he had put in a little weight also. I bought some Teva type sandals  and two knit shirts  at Penny’s.  Then we went to Mervyns at the Crossroads Mall  where Michael bought two pair of blue jeans and I bought two sweater vests and another pair of pants. Oh yes at Pennys we bought matching slip on earrings. At home there was a note on the refrigerator from Benjamin saying he would move out  by the end of the month if not sooner. I think what finally prompted this is because I took my stereo and CD player  out of his room and brought them to my classroom. I needed to make copies of songs for the kids so I wasn’t being vindictive  but I am done trying to accommodate his whims.

Additional Material. A Nevada man accused of a hate-crime killing pleaded guilty Tuesday to a reduced charge of manslaughter. The murder trial for David Nelson Thacker, 27, was scheduled to begin Tuesday, but Summit County prosecutors instead agreed to allow him to plead to the second-degree felony. Thacker, Unionville, Nev., was charged with murder, a first-degree felony, in the death of Douglas C. Koehler, 31, who was shot in a parking lot near ParkWest ski resort Aug. 22. Clint Crane testified in October that his former roommate shot Koehler because he was angry that Koehler had tried to kiss him an hour before. Deputy Summit County Attorney Terry Christiansen said he approved the plea bargain after learning the defense would have expert witnesses to say that the two suspects and the victim were so intoxicated on alcohol and cocaine that their mental state may have been affected. Prosecutors worried that a jury may have found Thacker guilty of negligent homicide, a misdemeanor. "I don't think as heavily intoxicated as these three people were that anybody knew what they were doing," said defense attorney Ron Yengich. The victim's friends and family told prosecutors they understood the reasoning behind the plea bargain but were still uneasy. “I think they offered this deal so they could avoid a showdown with Ron Yengich. This was an easier way out," Jim Cornwall, Koehler's former business partner and spokesman for the family, said Tuesday. Crane said he and Thacker met Koehler at a ParkWest bar that night and they spent the evening drinking, playing pool and sniffing cocaine. The trio drove to Thacker and Crane's Park City condominium after the bar closed. There, Thacker and Koehler went into a bedroom, presumably to consume more cocaine. After a while, Crane said he heard Thacker yell, "Just get out!" Thacker then threw Koehler out of the apartment and announced that Koehler had tried to kiss him. Thacker drank a beer, then took a shower. "He came out and wanted to go get the guy," Crane testified. Thacker grabbed a .22 revolver and explained to Crane, "Just in case, 'cause he's a big guy." Crane drove Thacker to ParkWest. Koehler had walked about four miles in the rain and was about 50 feet from the condominium he was renting when Thacker spotted him and ordered Crane to pullup next to him. Thacker ordered the victim over to the passenger side of the truck. "He (Thacker) leaned over and bang, pulled the pistol out and shot him," Crane said. "I just heard (Koehler) hit a vehicle" as he fell. “Dave just said, "Let's go.' "When Koehler's body was discovered hours later, both his hands were in his pockets. As Crane drove back to Park City, he said Thacker didn't talk much but did say he hoped Koehler was dead. When asked why Thacker had said that, Crane said, "So he couldn't tell who shot him, probably." Three family members testified that Thacker called them in the hours after the shooting and repeatedly said he had accidentally shot a man who had made sexual advances on him. “He said he wanted to scare the guy, wave the gun at him, and it went off," said Laurie Capurro, Thacker’s sister. Yengich said there was evidence that the gun accidentally fired, making the manslaughter charge appropriate. "I don't believe it was a hate crime. I believe it was just stupidity. “Christiansen, however, said there is a "strong possibility" the murder was a hate crime. He said he believes the shooting was intentional but that some evidence could show it was accidental. Crane, however, said Thacker never told him the shooting was an accident and Gene Brasher testified that Thacker bragged about the shooting three days later to fellow jail inmates. Brasher said Thacker described aiming a gun between Koehler's eyes and pulling the trigger after Koehler grabbed him and kissed him on the cheek. "You should have seen that queer drop," he quoted Thacker as saying. He said he also heard Thacker tell another inmate he'd "come over and talk to you about killing faggots." Crane, 21, Albion, Idaho, is charged with obstructing justice, a second-degree felony, but will likely receive a favorable plea bargain because he agreed to testify against Thacker. Third District Judge David Young set sentencing for May 24. Thacker remains free on a $50,000bond. Deseret News Publishing Co.

13 April 1994-Wednesday-

My hay fever is acting up because of all the pollen and moisture in the air.  I’m all clogged up at night but it clears up during the day. It was a very long day  and right after school was out, Brenda Tau’a  and I drove up to South Webber  Elementary  for an In-service class on the new science core. It will last 4 weeks but we will get 1 hour of credit  plus they are paying for us to take the class. I thought the in-service class was rather pointless tonight as they could have just handed us the hand-outs  and let us out early. Because of construction on Highway 89, we decided to go home via I-80 to catch I-15 which was a big mistake. It took us almost a half an hour longer getting home as the freeway took you into Ogden and not south into Salt Lake.  So I didn’t get home  until after 7 o’clock  and then I had to hurry and meet Michael Romero and Jimmy Hamamoto  at the State Noodle House at 755 South State Street.  I had called Jimmy last week about getting together but had forgotten about the Wednesday nights in-service classes.  I just didn’t think it would take so long to get home. At dinner we visited and Jimmy said he is doing okay with his resource teaching job in West Valley, but  he was robbed  the day after St. Patrick’s when someone broke into his apartment on Delmar Court  while he was sleeping.  He woke up to hear some one rifling through his things in the bathroom and was so scared. The only thing the thief took was his VCR player. I would never  live over in that area by the Greek cathedral  for anything after I was broken into twice but thankfully when I wasn’t home.  We visited about our planned trip to New York this summer for the 25^th Anniversary of the Stonewall Riots  and hopefully get to Boston also.  I guess he still wants  to do it with us. It was nice to come back to the apartment without Benjamin Anderson needing to be entertained.  We watched another episode of Tales of the City. In the news David Thacker who killed Doug Kohler was sentenced to 1-15 years for manslaughter instead of for murder even though he killed him in cold blood.

Additional Material Steven Nathanael Gray age 41 died in Salt Lake City, Utah of AIDS. He grew up in Magna and graduated from Cyprus High School, 1971; received his B.A.(1976) and Master of Divinity (1980) from Mount Angel Seminary, St. Benedict, Oregon. He was ordained a priest April 23, 1983. He studied at Gregorian University, Rome, Italy, and Notre Dame University. Graduated from the University of Utah (1990) with a Masters in Social Work. He was employed at the Western Institute (1987-1990) and since 1990, the Community Counseling Center as a social worker. He was a member of the Salt Lake Men's Choir for several years and was a volunteer for the Utah AIDS Foundation.

14 April 1994 Thursday

My ass is still dragging because of my restless sleeping habits from my hay fever.  Elayne Day said Wayne Stanger was favorable towards my idea  that the 4^th grade be  moved outside to the portable classrooms and Chapter One, the Talent Pool, and Resource classrooms be moved  into the east side rooms inside the school that have no windows because they have so fewer kids to have to spend time there. Stanger  said he was concerned  about kids  being out in the portables  having to come inside to use the bathrooms and disturbing the other lowers grades.  Those teachers however said they wouldn’t have any problem disciplining 4^th graders and would rather have them than 6^th graders. I think it makes more sense  but Stanger always does what he wants without any input from us. I came home from school and tried to sleep but Michael Romero, when he came home from work,  wanted to go lay out in the park to get some sun, so I did just to be with him. I thought it was still a little bit too cool but it was great fun watching the boys play volleyball at the sand lot volleyball nets, near the men’s toilets. Anyway one of Benjamin Anderson’s personalities was on the phone, being obnoxious, so Michael and I decided to go out rather than deal with him. We went to Thrifty’s hamburgers and were going to go to the Sugarhouse dollar movies  but they had already started  so we went over to Sugar House Park  to drive around then up to Red Butte Gardens behind the University.  We came back to the apartment around 8:45 as I was getting weary, and there Benjamin was in the front room blasting Madam Butterfly on the CD player. Gawd his mood swings are hard to keep up with and to put up with. He has just worn Michael and me out completely.

15 April 1994-Friday-

My allergies are really acting up big time. I my eyes are nearly swollen shut and I an a mess. I came hoe from work and took a nap because I ws so wasted from the antihistamines that don’t seem to be working for me. This evening Michael Romero  want to go out to the bars  but I was so out of it I told him that I wouldn’t be any fun so instead we met Jim Dunker and Glenn  at the La Frontera Mexican Restaurant for dinner. I’ve been so out of it I can’t remember all that I did today.

Additional Material Jeffrey Gordon Barnes age 35, of Salt Lake City, Utah. A Native of Nevada Graduated with honors from Cyprus High School. His love for nature and the mountains helped him to bear and endure the hopelessness of the disease.

16 April 1994 Saturday

Michael Romero fixed my signal  turn light on the Toyota pickup that Benjamin Anderson broke when he dented  the bumper of my truck.  It cost $41 to replace it but Michael can get it almost at cost from Big A Auto Parts.  In the afternoon we went over to Jim Dunker’s trailer park off of Redwood Road where he was hosting a Sir Plus Barbeque. It was a enjoyable warm day for it and about a dozen guys were there.  However, I decided this is my last Sir Plus event as I can’t stand Blanche any longer. He is so negative and critical of me. Kenji, the chubby chasing hairdresser, was there and he’s the only person worth while in the whole bunch. In the evening  Michael and I attended a free performance at the University of Utah’s Theater Lab of Kiss of the Spider Woman. The performances by actors Anthony Rish and Jason Bowcutt  were excellent especially Bowcutt’s.  Michael said he had a really enjoyable day today which made me happy.

17 April 1994 Sunday-

Michael Romero and I drove out to Bare Ass beach  today to sunbath and get away from the Elm Trees pollinating all over the city.  I took a nap out there and felt so much better. It was busy out at the beach with lots of naked cruising. Michael was enjoying the scenery but I was enjoying not having hay fever. This evening, we watched another episode of Tales of the City. I had a call from Becky Moss today saying that Jim Reiger, a former cohost of Concerning Gays and Lesbians and my roommate at the Buckingham Apartments died of heart failure in California. I guess his immune system was destroyed  by the cancer he had that crippled his arm. Jim and I stopped being friends, if really we ever were, over our philosophical differences of what it means to be a Gay activist.

18 April 1994-Monday-

I had an extremely  bad attack of hay fever last night. I could hardly breathe as I was so congested making it impossible to sleep. So I was a basket case  at school. I put on a movie for the kids to watch, Where the Red Fern Grows, to kill time in the morning and the kids were gone at 1:20 for early out. I turned off the lights even during my lunch break, locked my classroom door, and slept on the floor beneath my desk as I was so fatigued. I had to attend the lunch schedule committee meeting where we decided  to have the different  proposals ready  by Thursday’s faculty meeting. I was so tired I could barely drive home  before falling on my bed to crash and try to sleep a bit more. Actually, I slept until 6:30. When I was up, Michael Romero wanted to get out f the house for the evening because it was so pleasant out.  We drove around and went down to The Iceberg hamburger joint on 39^th South and shared a raspberry ice cream shake.  While out I stopped at Rite-Aid and bought a pollen filter mask  to sleep with tonight. I hope that will help.

Additional Material  Recent contributions and offers of volunteer help may allow the Utah AIDS Foundation to resume normal office hours by May 1.The nonprofit organization announced last week that dwindling donations and a shortfall in federal funding would force shortened hours and staff cuts. The public responded to news reports of the cuts by offering money and time, said LaDonna Moore, foundation executive director. The foundation has received many offers of volunteer support in general for such tasks as office work and event organizing, Moore said. ``We have had many people call wanting to participate in our major fund-raiser, `The Walk For Life,' a 10K pledge walk June 18. Some have never done it and some are wanting to get involved again,'' Moore said. Monetary donations also have been coming in, but the exact amount is difficult to calculate, she said. `We just don't break it down that way where we can tell what came in as a result of people hearing about the cutbacks and what would have come in normally,'' she said.

19 April 1994 Tuesday

I can’t wait for Benjamin Anderson to leave. Michael Romero and I have been calling him “Madam Butterfly” because without fail when we come home it is playing on the CD player.  I am so drugged out with antihistamines I can barely make it through the day.

20 April 1994 Wednesday

This In-Service Science Class  up at South Weber is a waste of time. Well at least it’s worth 1 credit towards a lane change in pay.

21 April 1994 Thursday

The tension in the apartment between Benjamin Anderson and me is really bad. Michael Romero and I just try to ignore Benjamin. What else can we do? Former President Richard Nixon  had a stroke and is not expected to live they say. This month is flying by.

Additional Material - Ariel Ballif, an influential force on the Utah theater scene for more than three decades, died Thursday at his Salt Lake City home. The 67-year-old artist had been in failing health for several months. Ballif was to have accepted the 1994 Madeleine Award for Distinguished Service at a banquet Sunday for his contributions as a designer, director, teacher and producer. Ruth Draper, who heads the sponsoring Madeleine Arts and Humanities Council, said the event will be held as scheduled at the New Yorker Club, 60 W. Market St. (340 South), Salt Lake City. ``The family feels that Ariel would want `the show to go on.' '' Draper added that the banquet is ``a fitting tribute.''   ``We were talking about the award just yesterday,'' said his longtime friend Tom   Carlin. ``Ariel was so thrilled and pleased -- and looking forward to Sunday.''    In one of his last interviews, the University of Utah educator, set designer and founder of Theatre 138, said he returned to Utah in 1962 ``because of the mountains and the people, and I have stayed for the same reasons.''     Sets designed by Ballif were marked by their simplicity and his desire to complement – not overshadow -- the performers.     Colleagues cited his astounding versatility in crafting all staging elements of a production -- from sets to costumes; from lighting to special effects. Robert S. Olpin, dean of the U. College of Fine Arts, said Thursday that ``as a visual artist, Ariel Ballif had no peer.'' Untold numbers of fine-arts students ``were influenced by the sheer excellence of his magnificent productions and sets.'' Anne Stewart Mark, a regular in Pioneer Theatre Company productions, said Ballif ``went out on a limb to cast me as an ingenue [in a Theatre 138 production], which had a profound influence on my career.'' The professional actress also recalled Ballif's ``terrific sense of humor, plus an amazing amount of energy . . . his silver hair flying as he oversaw all aspects of each production.'' Charles Morey, artistic director of Pioneer Theatre Company, said Ballif enjoyed ``a true national reputation, and chose to return from the East because he believed in the future of theater in Salt Lake City.''  Ballif's ``style and aesthetics very much influenced'' the U.'s entire theater program, Morey added.  A native Idahoan who spent his youth in Utah, Ballif began his professional career on the East Coast. But he was lured back West after Willam Christensen, founder of Ballet West, told him of an opening on the U. faculty.  He was accompanied to Utah by his business partners, Stewart Falconer and Carlin.    In 1966, the trio founded Theatre 138, Utah's first alternative theater which staged hundreds of productions before it closed in the mid-1980s.    Ballif had intended to retire from the U. theater department in June. A 1948 graduate of Brigham Young University, he earned a master's degree in 1952 from Yale University in New Haven, Conn. After a brief stint on the faculty of Brandeis University in Waltham, Mass., he moved to Virginia to become a designer at the Virginia Museum Theatre in Richmond. After meeting Falconer and Carlin, the trio opened a small dinner theater – The Renaissance -- at Bon Air, Va., in 1958. Between 1962-67, Ballif was an assistant professor in the U. theater department. Shortly after co-founding Theatre 138, he returned to New Haven and joined the Yale Drama School faculty. He left the Ivy League school in 1972 to resume collaborations at the small Salt Lake City theater.  After the closing of Theatre 138, which in its halcyon days staged up to 18 shows a year, Ballif rejoined the U. theater department faculty in 1987. His design career encompassed such diverse productions as ``Chicago'' and ``The Desert Song'' at Theatre 138; ``The Nutcracker'' at Ballet West; and most recently ``O Pioneers'' for Pioneer Theatre Company. As a director, he considered Theatre 138's staging of ``Equus'' one of his finest achievements. Ballif also directed and designed for the Utah Opera Company, Ririe-Woodbury Dance Company, Weber State University and the Babcock Theatre at the U.   His one Broadway experience was in the mid-1950s with an English production called, ``A Pin to See the Peep Show.'' Recalling the New York show, Ballif quipped: ``We had a glorious run -- of three previews.''  Ballif was born May 29, 1926, in Rexburg, Idaho, a son of Ariel S. and Artamesia Romney Ballif. Ballif is survived by his father, Provo; two sisters and a brother: Maralyn Lavenstein of Chicago; Bonnie Stanvill of Provo; Jae Ballif, also of Provo, and 19 nieces and nephews.  He was preceded in death by his mother and a sister, Moana Bennett.  Falconer, his companion of four decades, died in 1993.  Graveside services at East Lawn Memorial Hills in Provo are pending

·         A former Weber State University student who fled a sexually motivated kidnapping walked on campus and spotted his alleged attacker -- the school's director of academic advisement.   Phillip O. Austin, 42, Ogden, who has been a director at the school for seven months, was charged Wednesday with aggravated kidnapping, a first-degree felony.  Colby Clifford, 20, West Point, did not know his alleged attacker until he saw Austin on the campus April 14, said Roy police Det. Mike Donehoo.   Clifford says he was kidnapped March 12 while waiting at a bus stop in Clearfield. Police say Austin offered him a ride into Ogden and then began making sexual advances.   When Clifford refused, Austin allegedly pointed a handgun at him. Clifford then jumped from the moving car and called Roy police. Officers had few leads because Clifford did not know the suspect's vehicle license number, nor could he identify the assailant.  A month after the kidnapping, Clifford visited the campus to retrieve his school records to enroll in the  Navy. He spotted Austin in the administration building, found out his name and called police, Donehoo said.  Authorities arrested Austin Tuesday. The suspect acknowledged he gave Clifford the ride, but denied he threatened him with a gun for sexual favors. Austin has been put on administrative leave with pay while school officials review the case, said university President Paul Thompson.  ``We're just quite surprised, and we're trying to learn more information to be fair to the institution and the individual,'' he said.  Messages left Wednesday for Austin and his attorney were not returned.  Marie Kotter, vice president of student services, said Austin supervises five full-time counselors and three part-time student counselors. Austin and his staff advise new students on career choices, class schedules and other registration issues. University officials hired Austin Sept. 1, 1993. He has a doctorate in counseling and guidance from the University of Denver.  It is unknown if Austin has a prior criminal history. Utah school officials said they do not check a job applicant's criminal history, even if a prospective employee may work closely with students. Officials rely on the applicant's word that he or she has not been convicted of a felony.  ``If they lie to you, you can't verify that,'' Kotter said. Austin appeared in 2nd Circuit Court Wednesday and will have a preliminary hearing April 27.  He was booked into the Weber County Jail and released on $20,000 bail.

22 April 1994 Friday

I took the day off from work but I didn’t get much rest as I was up with Michael Romero this morning. After he went off to work at his Big A job, I went down to the genealogical library  and worked all day on the Romero Family lines. I had a terrific headache from  trying to read all the old faded Spanish christening, marriages, and deaths records from the church of San Juan Los Caballeros. It was tedious like sifting for nuggets in the dirt.  I think I may have found the elusive Moncallo family line of Michael’s paternal grandmother, residing in Guadalupe County just south of San Miguel Couty, New Mexico.  Anyway, I only stayed until Michael came home and we then went for a long bike ride. Later he put an alternator in for the pickup. That part cost $76 but he was able to get it from Big A with a  discount. While we were driving around Liberty Park to make sure everything else was working on the pickup, we saw Billy Bikowski roller blading. We had to laugh when he almost went out of control and fell on his butt. When he saw us he came over and I introduced Billy to Michael. Strange the only thing I felt for Billy was nostalgia as I really love Michael deeper and with more maturity than I did with Billy. Back at the apartment we rented movies, Men In Tights, a spoof on Robin Hood and we stayed up until midnight before going to bed.  Ben Anderson sulks in and out like a phantom. In the news President Nixon died of a stroke at the age of 81 almost 20 years after he resigned because of Watergate.

23 April 1994  Saturday

Michael Romero was up early cleaning the house  and then informed me that we were going down to Moab to go camping. That took me by surprise. We left at 10 and reached Moab without incident by 3:30. The weather was fantastic in Moab and we found some neat camping spots south of Moab. We located a spot to pitch our tent and then we rode our bikes around  Spanish Valley. We didn’t bother looking up Mike Pipkin this time as we didn’t want to deal with his compulsive energy. There were a lot of people in Moab and it was very crowded with an “old car” show  going on in town at Swanny City Park.  We went to it and it was really fun to see the cars and the guys.  Back at our campsite we cooked hot dogs and Pork N Beans  around the campfire. We went to bed in our sleeping bags at 9. It was a long day but kind of an unexpected  fun.

24 April 1994 Sunday

I started stirring shortly after the sun came up this morning. I started a camp fire and when Michael Romero came out of the tent , we sat around eating some muffins for breakfast. Then we broke camp and went into town to get cleaned up a little bit using a gas station rest room.  We then went to Canyonlands National Park through the back way via Potash Road Canyon. The scenery was spectacular as everywhere you looked, there was simply a magnificent panoramic landscape. We drove up a narrow road that wound back and forth up this sheer precipice  that brought us to the Island in the Sky visitor center. Michael was having a lot of fun four wheeling in the Blazer but I was kind of white knuckling it all along the way. He was used to going off road but I wasn’t so I just had to trust his judgement that he didn’t get us killed. Our bike rack was acting up again but Michael was able to jerry-rig it so it would hold our bikes for our trip home. We left Moab about 3:30 and it started to snow when we reached Soldier’s Summit. That was bizarre. I was driving when it began to snow just like when we were coming back from Vegas earlier this month. We were home by  8 and we discovered that Benjamin Anderson had moved out and all his clothes and personal items were gone.

25 April 1994 Monday

It was hard having the energy to go back to work but it was an early out day without the kids after 1:30. I had another lunch committee meeting where we came up with three choices that we will present to the faculty. We will have the final decision today which will make only some happy. As soon as I was home, I moved our computer and the desk into Benjamin Anderson’s old room from the front room. I am so relieved that he is out of here. He left behind most of his kitchen stuff and some other things in the bedroom but since he threw the keys  back through the mail slot, I am assuming  that he’s gone for good. When Michael Romero came  home, we rearranged the front room the best we could.

26 April 1994 Tuesday

 I had to be at work by 7:45 this morning for a faculty meeting to discuss the Centennial School grant application. I’m not all that keen on the whole Centennial School  idea due to it being  made up of a community council  on which only 4 teachers are included while we will have to do all the work.  I handed out the voting sheets for the lunch schedule for next year to all the grade level representatives for them to discuss. The kids are really getting hyper as this cold and misty indoor weather doesn’t help much. The weather  has turned so much colder  than last week. Last week it was in the 80s and this week its barely been in the 50s. It rained for much of the evening. I fixed some navy beans and ham for dinner as we are kind of broke until the end of the week.

27 April 1994 Wednesday

It seemed like a long day today. After school let out, I picked up Brenda Tau’a and we were off to South Weber Elementary School for the in-service on the Science Core.  This is such a waste of time. I wanted to learn what the core entails not learn hands on science experiments. It rained cats and dogs after I returned to Salt Lake City and I was really too tired to attend the Community Council Study meeting . Anyway I heard that only Mark Swanson showed up for the meeting so it was canceled anyway. I also head from Melissa Sillitoe that Greg Garcia is leaving Utah and moving to San Francisco.

28 April 1994 Thursday

My students are really going nutsy on me. Part of the reason for it is the awful weather  keeps them inside for recesses, and part of it is because  they know school in winding down. My hay fever is finally over. It ended a couple of days ago. Michael Romero and I stayed home and puttered around cleaning and we watched the 100^th episode of the Simpsons. Some momentous  events taking place in this old changing world that is in  the news are  that South Africa has ended apartheid and is letting  back South Africans  vote for the first time. Nelson Mandela is expected to be elected President of South Affrica.  There is genocide going on in the African country of Rwanda north of South Africa. President Nixon’s funeral was at Yorba Linda not far from where I lived when I went to Cal State Fullerton. Four former Presidents, Ford, Carter, Reagan, Bush and President Clinton attended.

29 April 1994 Friday

The weather has been cool, cloudy and a bit rainy for most of the week. I am so glad it’s finally over. Two of my students received blue slips on my citizenship chart for taking a jacket from another student without permission. It’s been such a wild week with the kids. I’ve decided to take points away from students for misbehaving and those with out so many points  will not be going bowling with us at the end of the year. I didn’t get my pay stub today  but I did get my pay deposited in my credit union. So I wrote out the bills, while waiting for Michael Romero  to come home from work.  Rather than fixing supper we went to Cedars of Lebanon on 2^nd South and Edison Street  for dinner. It was a little pricy but delicious. We had tried to find a restaurant where Michael’s co-workers  were having a party but we couldn’t so we went to Cedars and then back home. We went to bed around 10.

30 April 1994 Saturday

I spent much f the day fixing up the apartment and going to go get flowers for our front porch although we will be the only ones to see them as our apartment is at the very rear of the Riviera in apartment 306.  We bought $20 worth of flowers to as they really sparkle up the place and makes me happy. We also went for a drive up to Huntsville in Weber County to look at places  to go camping closer to home. It was a pretty day out, just rather cool. Back at the apartment we barbecued on the outside on the porch with our new hibachi  and it was just  relaxing and pleasant having chicken and a glass of wine. I wanted to go bike riding but my tire  went flat again. I am not real sure why it keeps going flat. Earlier when I went to Smith’s Market  I encountered Jeff Workman. He said he’ll start graduate school  in the fall and he’s changing schools finally. I guess he’s  fed up with Midvale elementary and all the problems there. He said he’s going to the Sacred Faeies Beltane Ritual  tonight. The Sacred Faeries seems like it so long ago now. I planted flowers  and herbs in a garden on my front porch for my Beltane ritual. Well it was a long day but a pleasant one.

MAY

1 May 1994 Sunday-

It was rainy and cool this morning  but it cleared up later in the day.  Michael Romero and I really did some spring cleaning and  went through and cleaned out boxes we had stored things that we aren’t using. We went grocer shopping  which we really hadn’t for a while and spent $82 . Later in the day Michael Howard who I was close to in the Restoration Church so many years ago came up from Orem to see me. He wanted me to sign up for this crazy thing about suing the Federal Reserve Board or some sort of nonsense they are peddling down in Utah County the nut capital of Utah. I  think poor Michael Howard has done one too many drugs and is part of a pyramid scheme.  Anyway, after signing politely, he took off. Michael Romero and I went to K-Mart in Bountiful  to buy some padded folding camping chairs to replace the old ones that he hated. We also bought a new shower curtain and other odds and ends we needed for the apartment after having cleaned it really well. We ate lunch at the Iceberg  on 39^th South and Michael had a Peach Shake while I had a boysenberry shake which reminded me of Knott’s Berry Farm of my youth. The Iceberg  makes the best shake in town I think. I really love being with Michael now that Benjamin Anderson is gone as I feel really married to him just like I was with Fran  only even more  because I trust  his judgement while I didn’t always trust  Fran’s.  It seemed like a very long day because of all the work  we did to the place but I am truly happy in my life right now.  It’s a very sweet time for me. The last time I talked to John Reeves in Boston, things were going well for him also. He said he’s traveling to London the first part of June to be a tourist. He said he’d be back  just in time for Jimmy and I to come back. I talk a bit with James Connally also who said he’s going back to New York City for the Gay Games this summer.  He’s flying and his roundtrip ticket  is for $385. I hope we can get Michael on that same deal.

Additional Material Brad, 33, a Salt Lake City real-estate agent, ran a newspaper personal ad several years ago seeking another man for a possible relationship. But of the four responses he received, three were from men he already knew. `It's frustrating out there,'' he says. ``I have a lot of people crying on my shoulder at how difficult it is to meet someone decent outside of the bars.'' Such is the plight of Salt Lake's single gays and lesbians, many of whom complain they can't find someone new because the number of openly homosexual men and women here is relatively small.` `The gay and lesbian community in Salt Lake is very tight knit. Everyone knows everyone. It's incredibly limiting,'' says Jared Brown, 21, a part-time student at the University of Utah. There are six gay bars in Salt Lake and two in Ogden, but, as with heterosexuals, most gays here say they go to nightclubs to drink, dance and hang out with friends -- not to find a partner. ``You have to get a little creative to meet someone,'' says Brad, who declined to give his last name. ``You throw a party and have friends bring friends you don't know.''  The perception that gay dating mostly consists of anonymous sexual trysts in parks or secluded wooded areas is unfair, gay men say. In Salt Lake City, most gays and lesbians meet through friends or support groups and activities sponsored by the Utah Stonewall Center, the city's gay community center. Others meet through gay dating phone lines, gay and lesbian volleyball leagues or by volunteering at the Utah AIDS Foundation. Salt Lake's lesbians gather at concerts by lesbian musicians and comedians. Several local gay computer bulletin boards have sprouted in recent years. And the annual Gay Pride Day in June is always popular among single gays. ``The opportunities to meet people are very much alive,'' says Kim Russo, editor of the Pillar, a newspaper for the state's gay and lesbian community. Somehow, she says, ``You survive in your own little world.'' The city's lesbians say they are more likely than men to be in long-term relationships. A popular joke among Salt Lake's gay community goes: What does a lesbian in Utah bring on a second date? A U-Haul. `It's true,'' laughs Jane, 32, a classical musician who shares a house with her lover of seven years. ``We do tend to move in a little prematurely. We tend to work a little harder at our relationships.''  To help Utah's gays meet in a relaxed social setting, Boris Kurz, 27, of Salt Lake, has founded a gay-dating service called Family Dining, which brings groups of eight gay men and women together for dinners in restaurants. Kurz hopes to hold his first dinner later this month.

2 May 1994-Monday

It was much cooler today  as it rained off and on. There’s only 23 more school days left and you certainly can tell it from the kids are acting up now. I can’t really  blame them but shoot, its necessary to toe the line.  After school, I fixed spaghetti for Michael Romer and my dinner. For some dumb reason I thought I had a Board of Trustees meeting tonight so I went down to the Stonewall Center. However there wasn’t a meeting at all. While there I dropped off all my old dining room chairs  that I had bought from Leavitt’s Furniture store way back in 1986. I had already gotten rid of the glass topped dining table. I guess it won’t be long before I get rid of my beige Camel-back couches also.  Anyway I picked up a copy of the Pillar and the Womyn’s Community Newsletter.  Both were actually pretty well written. The Pillar has new editors now, Kim Russo and Christopher Riese. Everyone except Todd Dayley, with whom I started the paper with last year, has moved on and Todd is just the publisher and does not write any content. Well at least  the paper has some direction  now instead of just floundering. I am sure Todd has never told Kim and Christopher my involvement with creating the paper in the first place, until it was stolen from me. I heard from Melissa Sillitoe that Greg Garcia  is definitely leaving Utah and moving to San Francisco. Most people will never know what all he’s done for this community. I will miss him.  I heard that Kathy Worthington may be moving from Salt Lake  City eventually  as her lover Sarah Hamlin has to move to a larger city to find work. Change is all around it seems. I called on my car insurance today and to make a plane reservation for Michael for New York  

3 May 1994- Tuesday

Twenty-Two more school days but who is counting? Ha! I am running out of steam at school. After school Michael and I walked over to MacFrugals that used to be Pic N Save. My legs needed the exercise.   We bought a picture for the bathroom but we are still looking for a frame for the Canyonland poster we bought in Moab.

4 May 1994 Wednesday

  It was a gorgeous day out. I went to my last Science Core In-service class tonight  which I didn’t get a lot out of except for the credit and some money. However it was fun going with Brenda Tau’a and getting to know her better. This evening Michael wanted to buy another planter for the herbs at Wal-Mart.  We stopped at  Home Base first and ended up buying $30 worth of  pottery and cacti. Ha!  They are really nice looking.  We were just out shopping and looking around this evening to be out of the apartment.  We were going to the Iceberg  to get a shake but the place was so packed that we didn’t want to wait as it was getting late.  Instead, we returned home. It was just a pleasant evening to be out with Michael. Next week, I guess we are going to Antelope Island with Craig Hunter for a camp out. This weekend we are going back up to Rawlins for Mother’s Day. We bought Faye a cactus plant.

Additional Material  A Weber State University administrator was bound over Tuesday to District Court to face charges in the kidnapping of a 20-year-old man at gunpoint for the purpose of committing a sex act. Phillip O. Austin, 42, WSU director of academic advisement, was ordered Tuesday by 2nd Circuit Judge Pamela Heffernan to stand trial on a first-degree felony charge of aggravated kidnapping following his preliminary hearing. Colby Clifford, West Point, was the only witness to testify. He said he was picked up at a bus stop in Clearfield on March 12 by a man he identified as Austin.    According to Clifford, Austin asked him directions to McKay-Dee Hospital and then offered him a ride to Roy. Clifford said Austin asked for oral sex. When Clifford refused, Austin used the automatic door-lock button to lock all the doors, pulled a gun, and said he was driving Clifford to Austin's Ogden apartment where the sex act would take place.    On April 14, Clifford was at WSU's Office of Academic Guidance getting a transcript of grades when he recognized  Austin. Clifford called police and Austin was arrested.

5 May 1994 Thursday

At faculty Meeting this morning  it was mentioned about moving the 4^th Grade out to the portables. Stanger was not happy about the discussion but as it turned out  he was breaking the law by having  Resource detached from the main building. That bastard has broken the law for 5 years and sure made every  “t” was crossed and every “I” dotted by the rest of us. Jeannie Wheelwright  sure isn’t happy but tough; it’s federal law. Jeannie loved being off on her own and not supervised. The gossip I heard was that Stanger allowed Jeannie her own space because he felt guilty for making her come back to work on the day her husband committed suicide some years ago before I came to Orchard.  The real issue here is for the most effective use of the facilities  for the health and welfare of the students. So I may have a portable  “condo” next year. At home Mom called and said she’s  going to have go to California for surgery on her eye.  Her retina had come detached and her eye has become damaged.  She may even lose sight in one eye so she’s really scared. I wish I could do something for her.

6 May 1994-Friday

The kids were so wired that I took them outside and had them run three laps around the playground to exercise them until they dropped in order to burn some of that energy off so  to settle them down in class. When Michael  was home from work, we left for Rawlins at 6. I had our neighbor feed Billy Cat while we are gone. Michael said he didn’t have that great of a day at work so he was moody and I mainly left him alone. Anyway we drove straight into Rawlins where we arrived at 10:30 . We stayed up until midnight visiting with his folks.

7 May 1994-Saturday

I had a really nice day with Michael Romero’s family. At one point I did have Michael take me to the Rawlin’s Library  where I found  Michae’s grandmother’s obituary. It gave a birth and death date but no clue to who her parents were. Faye Romero fixed a nice barbecue  for a pre-mother’s Day  dinner. The weather could not have been better. Michael’s sister Michelle Taylor and his niece Christine, who live next door to Michaels parents  came over for the barbeque as did Vickie Schmuch.  In the evening  Michael, Vickie, Michelle mad I went to a free  pay put on by the Rawlins High School drama department called Three Murders and Its Only Monday. It was cute and it was interesting being in Michael’s old high school.

8 May 1994-Sunday

Michael’s mother fixed homemade tamales for our lunch and I was able to get more information on Michael’s maternal grandmother side. Nora gave us her parents wedding date and other information.  We left Rawlins after saying our goodbyes  at 4. We had a very pleasant visit and we were home in Salt Lake City by 8:30. We brought with us all of Michaels record album and his turn table back to Salt Lake with us.  

9 May 1994- Monday

 Only 17 more days of school and I am having my students running laps  and exercising , trying to keep them calm and on task. After school let out for the kids we had a “volunteer Luncheon” and an open house  goodbye for Faye Booth and Hal Olsen  who are both retiring this year. I  left as fast as I could and went to the genealogy library  where I looked up information on the Martinez  family of Taos New Mexico in the 1920 census  but without much success. Then I came home  at 6 and there Michael Romero was being fussy. I think he had a really tough day. I had to go to the Gay and Lesbian Community Council of Utah Board of Trustee’s meeting at 7 pm. I was sitting through the meeting taking minutes, listening to Hank Hannah say, “Kim and I thought this…” “Kim and I planned this” and “Kim and I agreed on this” and I started to silently fume.  How come I was never included in any of these discussions and  plans? So, when it was my turn to speak,  I said I was resigning from GLCCU effective June. I said I have too many projects that will take up most of my time this summer and I wouldn’t be very effective. Kim and Hank seemed shocked. I didn’t care. I don’t have the will to be a Gay community activist any longer.  I am burnt out. I want to sit on my porch, BBQ with my spouse and let someone else do the battling. I am poured out. I fought the good fight now let someone else take up the standard.

10 May 1994-Tuesday

 I had good news from Dad tonight as the surgery on Mom’s eye went extremely well. The doctors believe her vision will be saved. In fact, Dad said the surgery went so well  that Mom and dad may  even return home to Arizona earlier than they thought. Thank the Lord. I know mom was very anxious about the surgery. Mike Howard showed up this evening  to have me sign off that he will get half of the million dollars he filed a claim for in my behalf  by suing the Federal Reserves. I love Michael Howard enough to humor him. Today was even bizarre with the kids at school. Terrace Critchley forged my name on class work certificates and Scott Albertson’s nose was bloodied  from an afternoon  confrontation with Adam Mills  this student  I had from last year now in 6^th Grade. So, it was a very strange day at work. Perhaps the annular eclipse  was making people nuts today. I finalized Michael Romero’s plane reservation  for New York City. In the evening after supper we went shopping and bought some soil, rocks, and sand for the Cactus terrarium that we are making. It looks great.  Michael also helped a neighbor here at the Riviera  work on his car. He looks after Billy Cat when we are away. I worked on the flower garden of the front porch. All in all, it was a good day.

11 May 1994- Wednesday

Things are calm at school today. We are just counting down the days until Summer vacation.  Elayne Day’s substitute and a substitute ha!  Fter school , I came home and fixed hamburgers on the hibachi grill  for our dinner.  Afterward Michael Romero and I went for a very long walk taking almost two hours as we were just strolling and in no hurry. We walked up 9^th East  to South Temple then down 6^th East  looking at al the neat old houses in this part of the city. It was a beautiful day to be outside and most yards have flowers blooming and all the old trees have leafed out.

12 May 1994 Thursday

Orchard had a faculty meeting  this morning  and the most important thing discussed  and on our minds was how the outside portables will be used. Wayne Stanger  tabled any discussion saying that the district may even take one of the portables away.  It really is distressing  not having this issue resolved . Why he is stalling  only he can answer but everyone who will be affected  by whatever is decided is pretty disgusted. The lunch schedule is still being bitched about by the 6^th grade as it was decided that they will go first to lunch followed by 5^th, 4^th and the lower grades. Oh well.  After work I went and picked up Michael Romero’s plane ticket  for New York City. Spartan Travel had  changed addresses again and are now located on South temple and 8^th East. Lynn Nilson has always been good to work with. Melissa Sillitoe  left a message on my answering machine saying that Community Council officers should attend the opening of the Conference  tomorrow night and meet Tori Osborn and the other mucky mucks  of the Gay Rights movement. I am not sure  I will go as I am resigning. I‘m hanging up my Gay Activist hat. I’ve fought the good fight. Now it’s someone’s else’s turn. Michael Romero and I had cross word  today. Probably  the first time since we have been together. I was telling him about an offer the district is promoting about getting a cellular phone and I felt like he was treating  me like I was an idiot. I know he was just looking out for me but I felt like Iw as being put down.

13 May 1994 Friday

I was woken this morning by lightning followed by a loud thunder clap. However, it didn’t rain much. The month is now half over and it’s all downhill into  Summer. I wanted to meet with Wayne Stanger  about where our classrooms will be for next year  so I can plan on moving into them over the summer but he left early so I didn’t get a chance. I guess Brenda Tau’a and I will meet with him this coming Monday. I signed up for Horace Mann car insurance today. It’s only for teachers and is supposed to be cheaper. In the evening  I  went to Community Council tonight probably for my last time. The Stonewall Center was hosting a wine and cheese reception for “Turning of the Century” Conference. So the council met in the back room with only about 20 people in attendant.  Nobody set up chairs again as usual so Melissa Sillitoe and I set them up. Renee Rinaldi was elected Secretary of Community Council as my replacement. Lynn Gillman resigned as Stonewall Librarian so it’s just Russell Kracke running it now.  I am glad I resigned. Perhaps I am a quitter  but I just have no heart for GLCCU anymore as that all my friends and enemies are gone. All that is left are just faces. After the community council was over I left and didn’t mingle with the mucky mucks at the Wine and Cheese  crowd.  Charlene Orchard who was the Conference organizer and is now the chair if the ACLU Lesbian and Gay Rihts Project was there. The conference will start tomorrow at the University of Utah  with three speakers, including Tori Osborn, Tom Stoddard  of NYU  School of Law and Phil Wilson this activist from Los Angeles.  Charline was acting  as the receptionist for people attending and I just side stepped her.  The vision of the Utah Stonewall center was kept a live as a community center but not by her and her social working cronies.  Richard Cottino approached me before I left and asked if I would speak at a US West luncheon about Stonewall on Jue 9^th and I agreed.

14 May 1994 Saturday

Michael Romero and I went driving around  looking for camping equipment. He bought a hat at REI on State Street the we went to Allied Sports but didn’t buy anything there. Finally we went to Walmart and  we bought a large sleeping bad that would fit both of us comfortably. We left at 3 this up to Syracuse afternoon  to drive over to Antelope Island; crossing the causeway. We met up with Craig Hunter and Rob who we call Ditz  and met two new guys, Kevis Gros and Stuart.  That’s all who showed up from those who said they wanted to go camping. We found a spot in a very dreary wind swept spot where the mosquitoes bit me alive. At one point it was funny  to see Kevin almost jump out of his skin and coming running towards the camp after almost stepping on a grass snake.  All in all we had a pretty  pleasant time sitting around  a campfire while visiting and getting acquainted and reacquainted. The smoke from the fire helped with keeping the mosquitoes at bay. Craig and Ditz have been dating for a while I suppose and slept together in a tent as did Kevin and Stuart.  We all retired to our tents  about 11:30.

15 May 1994 Sunday

The wind gushed all night long  blowing against the tent making it nearly impossible  to sleep along with the rolling thunder in the distance. I finally gave  up and was up at 6:30. I tried to light a campfire  to get a coffee  brewing but it was  impossible as the wind kept blowing all the matches out before I could ignite kindling.  Kevin joined me  as he had a pretty miserable  night also.  When everyone was finally up about 7 we just pulled up camp and left for home as it was going to be depression on the island with the wind blowing.  Kevin, who works at the University Plaza Hotel invited us to have brunch there. Only Stuart couldn’t make it but the rest of us did and the brunch was excellent. Afterwards we drove up East Canyon  to look for camping spots at Affleck Park. I am eaten up by mosquitoes  and oven baked from being out in the sun  yesterday. Even in the city the wind blew like crazy so all in all it was a rotten camping experience.   Finally, back home  we finished watching Stephen Kings “The Stand”  tonight and just rested for work tomorrow.  I didn’t get any of the Council’s minutes typed up. Oh well.

Additional Material -Gay and lesbian victims of domestic violence find themselves in double jeopardy.  Not only are they afraid of angering abusive partners by seeking help, they also risk revealing their sexual preferences. They dread calling police, taking refuge in a shelter or navigating the courthouse maze for a protection order. The choice means a loss of privacy -- and a potential for discrimination. ``Can you imagine walking into an emergency room and just telling them that?'' asks Don Austin, a Salt Lake City counselor who works with gay men. ``Instead, they'll make up the excuses: I fell down; I fell off my bike.''  Fewer than 20 of the 5,600 protective orders issued in Utah in 1992 and 1993 were sought by victims who acknowledged being gay or lesbian. There is good reason to keep quiet. ``A victim may be afraid an abusive partner is going to call their boss at work and `out' them,'' Austin notes. ``They may be really sorry afterward, but once it's done, it can ruin people's careers.''  While no national or Utah statistics are available, San Francisco psychologist and author David Island estimates that 500,000 gay men --and up to 100,000 lesbians -- are battered annually by their companions. Domestic violence in same-sex relationships is essentially the same as heterosexual domestic violence, says Greg Merrill of the Gay Men's Domestic Violence Project in San Francisco. ``What is different is that people don't see it for what it is.'' Police and emergency-room physicians usually assume gay or lesbian violence is a fight between roommates or friends, so the victim rarely gets referred to community services. In Salt Lake City's police department, Det. Shane Jones is a liaison to the city's gay and lesbian community. A new program will offer advocates to accompany gay or lesbian victims to court.  ``We take a lot of pride in being sensitive to those relationships, but it's something we'll always have a problem with,'' Jones says. ``There's still a mistrust of the police department or any government entity.'' When a gay or lesbian victim is identified, police have few crisis resources to offer, he adds. There are no shelters in Utah tailored to the gay and lesbian community. Lesbians are welcome at traditional battered-women's shelters, but there is only one shelter -- in Logan -- that accepts men. None of the traditional shelters has specialized counseling or support groups, and neither does the Gay and Lesbian Anti-Violence Project or the Utah Stonewall Center, a community facility.  ``Our staff tries to be open and supportive,'' says Debra Daniels, director of the Salt Lake City YWCA's Women in Jeopardy program. ``But lesbian women may feel alienated or uncomfortable with other residents. ``They may feel reluctant to come and wonder, `Should I maintain anonymity about my abuser? Do I refer to her as a he?' ''

16 May 1994-Monday

At work I met with Wayne Stanger  about class room reassignments for next year. Tonya Harding, Reva George, Brenda Tau’a, Mrs. Knecht  and I just want to know  where our class rooms will be for next year.  Jeannie Wheelwright said she felt like Resource was being attacked and she is taking it so personal.  That’s because I think she feels her job is being threated.  Anyway, Stanger finally said it would be decided before  school is out. He is such a weasel to the bitter end. This afternoon was his retirement open house which I had to stay for and which made me late getting home. Michael Romero called me from his work and said  he’d go straight over to Jim Dunker’s  from work for Glenn’s birthday  party. I didn’t bother going as I wanted to get the council minutes done and over with.  I finished them around 8:30 and then Michael came home about that time. He said he had a nice time at the party but I was glad I didn’t go. The weather was cool and windy again.  

17 May 1994-Tuesday

Michael really hurt my feelings tonight saying that he was not satisfied sexually by me anymore. Jim Dunker once told me that Michael was known as the biggest bottom in Denver’s Four Wheeler Club. I don’t know how to respond to this yet. I am not naive I know we have sexually needs that aren’t always fulfilled by one person. Michael and I hardly make love anymore which doesn’t mean that I don’t still love him. I know that Michael in many ways is still hung up on his old lover Howard  Langley  who left him after 10 years to become woman transexual. Howard was the top in their relationship so Michael was devastated when they broke up as Howard was Michael’s John Cunningham having gotten together in college.  Where is the Gay Rules Book for couples?

18 May 1994-Wednesday

I am so weary and loving and losing. School is hard right now as we have to give the kids their End of Levels  examinations and nothing else seems to matter.  Today is John Reeves birthday and I called him back in Boston. He is excited for Jimmy Hamamoto and I to come back this summer. He could tell that I was troubled but I just said that Michael Romero and I were trying to  figure out our relationship.

19 May 1994-Thursday

When Michael Romero came home we sat down and had a serious talk. He held my hand and said that he loved me and our home but he had physical needs that I wasn’t meeting or couldn’t meet. He said he appreciated all that I have done for him and if I wanted him to move out, he would. I said I didn’t want him to move out. I said I know he’s 37 and I’m 43 so he still had needs and desires that I don’t so much anymore. I said all I want is to be your number one and I won’t care with who you sleep as long as we share a bed at night.  I said we are responsible at this age for our own orgasms.

20 May 1994-Friday

I have not had the energy to keep up with this journal as we have been doing End of Level Testing all week. It’s too hard to really start any new units now that the kids know that not much is counted anymore. I have been taking them out on the field for much of the afternoon after testing in the mornings. We have finished the reading and math portions and next week we will finish science and the rest.

21 May 1994-Saturday,

Michael Romero went off camping by himself somewhere to get away. I said I was too tired and needed to stay home this weekend. I really don’t like camping all that much and only go to be with him but it seems like he has to being getting away all the time. Chuck Whyte called me to say that the old Resurrection Metropolitan Community church that kicked Bruce Barton to the curb has a knew woman pastor.  I have never been back since Bruce and Bruce Harmon left to start a congregation in Ogden. I guess the church even changed the name of the church to the Sacred Light of Christ MCC or SLCMCC so there is little left there of the church I once knew. Last I talked to Bruce Barton he mocked the name change because The Light of Christ is a Mormon doctrine.

Additional Material The Rev. Cindy Solomon has been named pastor of Sacred Light of Christ Metropolitan Community Church, 823 S. 600 East. The church has been without a pastor for the past 18 months and following the Rev. Solomon's guest appearance at the church during Holy Week, members overwhelmingly voted to call her to the post. She has been serving on the pastoral staff at Family of Faith Metropolitan Community Church in Tulsa, Okla. and will assume her duties locally on Sunday, May 22. She will be formally installed on Sunday, June 5.

22 May 1994 Sunday,

I slept on the futon rather than in the bed without Mike. I tried cleaning the house and watering the flowers with only Billy Cat for company. It was pretty outside so I rode my bike for a bit and visited with some of people who live behind me facing the courtyard. So many people have come and gone and I heard Michelle Davies and Melissa Sillitoe have broken up. The gossip is that Melissa had been seen at Planned Parenthood whose offices are just down the street on 9^th East. Well, well, well. Michael Romero came home around 6 from going camping and said a lot of campgrounds were still closed from snow. He said he ate on the road so I didn’t fix any supper for us.

Additional Material  There's not much to like about Utah's hate-crimes law: It just doesn't work, prosecutors say. But bumping up against a proposed change in the law are feelings left over from the 1992 fight that saw a "weak, compromise" law passed: the feelings of some conservative legislators that homosexuals and other minorities shouldn't get special treatment. House Minority Leader Frank Pignanelli, D-Salt Lake, is introducing a new hate-crimes bill at the Legislature this year. Last week, he presented the bill to the Legislature's Judiciary Interim Study Committee. He sponsored the original bill in 1992 but saw much of the strength of that measure removed after conservative legislators balked at treating homosexuals differently. This time Pignanelli and supporters are armed with a unanimous U.S. Supreme Court decision that upholds a Wisconsin hate-crimes law. That law was a model for Pignanelli's new draft. It doesn't setup hate crimes as a separate category of crime but allows longer sentences if existing crimes – like trespass or assault - are committed against a person for a variety of bias-related reasons. The key, Pignanelli says, is that the victim is "selected" because the perpetrator perceives that he is a member of a certain group, defined by race, religion, color, disability, sexual orientation, national origin or ancestry. Simply put, if a person is beaten up because he is black, and that can be persuasively established, then the perpetrator can get a longer sentence. Paul Boyden, executive director of the Statewide Association of Public Attorneys, said no one has ever been prosecuted under Utah's current hate-crimes law. That law says it's a hate crime to terrorize someone during a crime. But, says Boyden, no one knows what that means. With the Wisconsin "penalty enhancement" law - upheld by the high court - judges can hear testimony about what the criminal said or did during the attack, what groups he belongs to, etc. Perpetrators of hate crimes "often don't keep their reasons or identities secret," said Boyden. Racists who beat blacks call them names during the attack; anti-Semites even leave anti-Jewish material at the homes or synagogues they burglarize and gay-bashers taunt homosexuals as they beat them. Last year, Utah police identified 76 crimes (out of 76,000 crimes in the state) as "hate crimes." None of those 76 crimes was prosecuted under the hate-crimes law. David Nelson, founder of the Gay and Lesbian Utah Democrats, said national statistics show that homosexuals are hatemongers' most-often targeted group. A number of gay men have been beaten in Utah since passage of the 1992 hate-crimes law, but never have their attackers been prosecuted under the law.  Ruzicka of Utah Eagle Forum spoke out against special treatment for homosexuals in 1992. "I had a lot of concerns in 1992 and they remain today," she told committee members. "Many legislators wanted everyone protected under our hate-crimes law. Why now are some special people included," others left out? she asked. Ruzicka, who is prominent in the state on behalf of conservative family values, says she's received threatening midnight telephone calls because of her political views. Yet she wouldn't be protected under the proposed law. Some conservative legislators don't want to do anything that they believe advances the so-called "homosexual agenda." They believe that laws which set homosexuals apart or treat people differently because of their sexual orientation is part of that so-called agenda. But Pignanelli hopes that the uselessness of the current hate-crimes law, combined with the constitutionality of the Wisconsin law, will help his cause. © 1998 Deseret News Publishing Co.

23 May 1994 Monday

Michael Romero and I both went back to work this morning.  This is the last full week of school as next week we have Memorial Day and just four days left. The kids had early out and I spent most of the time adding up grades for report cards as basically everything is done that I am counting. This week will be lots of reviewing, finish testing, art projects, and going outside. Dan Unger’s 6^th graders will do their egg drop and rocket launches this week which te whole school will be outside to watch. Elayne Day is not happy I am leaving 5^th grade. I think she won’t be able to boss Mrs. Knecht around like she does Reva George and me. When Michael Romero came home he said he wasn’t hungry and just watched TV this evening. He’s in one of his moods so I just work on typing up genealogy on the computer. Saw that Val Mansfield had a good letter to the editor printed in the Tribune today.

Additional Material- Joyce K. Miller (Forum, May 6) writes with concern that she reads too much Tribune coverage and too many Forum letters supporting homosexual rights, and not enough of the ``Christian ethic: Homosexuality is a sin.'' She asserts that society would be better served by newspapers promoting the ``Christian way of life.'' Which ``Christian way of life'' is she referring to? The assertion that there is one ``Christian'' lifestyle is almost as absurd as the continual references to the ``gay lifestyle.'' Many Christian denominations treat gays and lesbians with dignity and respect, it being their reading of the teachings of Christ that they are to love their neighbors and not pass judgment. Contrary to current opinion, same-sex marriage is not even an agenda item for most gays and lesbians. Gays and lesbians will continue to form their marriage-like relationships, no matter what they are called, and no matter whether Richard Young (Forum, May 2) and Miller approve of them. Tax exemptions should be given to those raising children, but preferential treatment on the mere basis of marital status discriminates against all single people. The unexpected emphasis on the issue of same-sex marriage is a partial retreat by opponents of gay rights to a position they feel has more public support. What gays and lesbians seek in the way of civil rights are rights which a majority of Americans and even Utahns agree they should have or mistakenly believe they already do have: the right not to lose your job, home or life on the basis of your sexual orientation. These are the rights the ``religious'' right disingenuously calls ``special rights'' and seeks to abolish through ballot initiatives.  VAL MANSFIELD   Salt Lake City

24 May 1994 Tuesday

At school the kids took the first half of the end of level Science test and we will finish tomorrow which is the last day to be finished with all the testing. In the afternoon I had the kids work on the construction paper flowers we are putting on a bulletin board across from the office for a spring time mural. It gives the kids something to do that doesn’t tax their brains ha! I am letting the kids pick the songs we learned all year also. I am not sure what is going on with Michael Romero lately but I am getting tired of his picking on me about nothing. Sometimes he gets into a dark place but then gets over it. I guess we all do time to time but thank God not like Benjamin Anderson. I haven’t heard hide nor hair from him since he left. I am relieved but also kind of worried. Oh well.

Additional Material Phillip O. Austin, 42, director of Academic Advisement at Weber State University, pleaded innocent Monday in 2nd District Court in Ogden to a first-degree felony charge of aggravated kidnapping.  Austin is accused of demanding sexual favors at gunpoint from Colby Clifford, 20, on March 12 while Clifford was a passenger in Austin's car. Clifford jumped from the car but was unable to identify the suspect. A month later,  Clifford was in an office at WSU and saw Austin, who was later arrested.  A trial date will be set later.    (D5)

25 May 1994 Wednesday,

Only exciting thing at school was in the afternoon we all gathered on the blacktop to watch Dan Unger toss eggs off the roof of the school. His class was suppose to design protection for the eggs so they wouldn’t break when hitting the ground. Most did.

Additional Material David Nelson Thacker, who shot and killed a South Salt Lake man while the man's hands were in his pockets, was sent to the Utah State Prison Tuesday. Third District Judge David Young ordered a 90-day diagnostic evaluation to help him better determine how much additional time Thacker should spend behind bars. Thacker pleaded guilty to a reduced charge of manslaughter in the shooting death of Douglas Koehler in a Park West parking lot last summer. "I will tell you Mr. Thacker, I believe that one who takes the life of another, should not serve less than one year," the judge said. Thacker was ordered to return Aug. 15 for final sentencing. Manslaughter carries a maximum penalty of one to 15 years in prison. Summit County Attorney Robert Adkins asked the judge to impose the maximum sentence, with a five year fire arms enhancement. He described the shooting as a possible hate crime and said he didn't believe the diagnostic evaluation would do any good. Thacker and co-defendant Clint Crane met Koehler at a Park West bar and the three drank alcohol and used cocaine that evening. Thacker told a bartender that Koehler was "as queer as a three dollar bill" and asked if he let people like that in the bar, Adkins said. Yet Thacker invited Koehler back to his Park City condominium. Adkins said Thacker claims he fell asleep and woke up to find Koehler performing a sex act. But the prosecutor said that is highly unlikely considering Thacker's previous statements. Crane testified that Thacker told him Koehler tried to kiss him, then kicked him out of their condominium. Thacker showered and after several minutes grabbed a gun and decided to go  . Thacker and Crane drove about four miles to Park West, where they found Koehler.  called the victim over to his truck and then shot him once in the head. "Both hands were in his pockets, certainly not in a threatening posture to the defendant," Adkins said. " should make no difference, this person was killed because Mr. Thacker doesn't happen to like that lifestyle, or is attracted to that lifestyle." "He (Koehler) was stalked . . . they had to pursue him several miles and then shot him in the head." Adkins said Thacker told police Crane brought Koehler and said it was Crane's idea to go after Koehler. Thacker also said the gun went off accidentally. "He's not taking responsibility for this killing," he said. "He simply wants to blame others." But defense attorney Ron Yengich strongly disputed Adkins' statement. "Mr. Thacker didn't and doesn't blame anybody but himself for what happened," Yengich said. He added that his client is fully prepared to serve time for the shooting. "It was the stupidest thing I've ever done," Thacker told the judge. "It wasn't because he was gay or anything like that." Thacker said he would never have been able to find Koehler himself that night because he was so drunk."The next thing I knew, I pulled the trigger," he said. Young said in his eight years as a judge he doesn't remember receiving such a strong outpouring of support for a defendant, as he has in this case. He said he received 49 letters in support of Thacker. The judge said he received 16 letters in opposition to Thacker and told those in the courtroom many of the letters were critical of the plea agreement and accused prosecutors of being afraid to try the case. But Young said he believes the plea bargain was beneficial to both sides." Candidly, there are problems with the facts in this case on each side," Young said.

26 May 1994 Thursday

This week has been really hard keeping the kids on task and entertained. We finished all the End of Level testing and I turned everything into the office which had to account for all the test booklets and bubble sheets like they were top state secrets. This afternoon the whole school went outside and sat on the playground’s knoll to watch the 6^th graders launch their rockets. I think Karen Fisher’s class had the most successful launches. Dan Unger lit all the fuses to the rockets. Only excitement was when one of the rockets tipped over and zoomed across to the Kindergarteners who scattered but fizzled out before any harm was done.  At home Michael Romero wanted to get away for the three day weekend and I asked if he had ever been to Mesa Verde where the cliff dwellings are in Southern Colorado. He hadn’t so I told him about them and he thought it was a good idea to go south as the northern campgrounds might still be too cold for a tent. So we packed for a trip so we could leave right after work. Billy Cat will be looked after by our apartment neighbor.

27 May 1994-Friday

We left Salt Lake right after Michael Romero came home from work for our trip to Mesa Verde in Southern Colorado.  I closed up the place and gave our neighbor Billy Cat’s his food. This guy who Michael works with said we could  use his apartment in Moab and that is where we spent the night. We decided against looking up Mike Pipkin for the same reasons as last time.

28 May 1994-Saturday

We left out from Moab and drove the 50 miles to Monticello then another 60 miles southeast into Cortez, Colorado. The landscape changed dramatically after leaving Utah as southern Colorado was mainly flat farm land. We ate a McDonalds Big Breakfast  with Hot Cakes . I realized that I had forgotten to pack towels for our trip so  we stopped at a K-Mart in Cortez and bought some white ones. It was only 20 miles further from Cortez but it took nearly an hour once you started southeast into the Mesa Verde National forest. We found a good camp site at the Morefield Campground just inside  the park and while it was crowded it was not too crazy as much as I thought it would be on Memorial Day weekend.  We set up out tent and then drove around to get a sense of the scope of the park.  I hadn’t been to Mesa Verde since I was a young boy with Mom, Dad, and my sisters along with Grandma and grandpa Johnson some 30 years ago. It had left a lasting impression on me. We stopped at the main museum to look around which is just below the Spruce Tree House cliff dwelling. After looking at the museum artifacts we hiked the trail to the Spruce Tree House which is the third largest Cliff dwelling in the park.  I think Michael was really impressed that I suggested we go to Mesa Verde.  We were fatigued from the drive and the hike so we returned to our camp site and set up our campsite a bit better and cooked some hot dogs over the campfire. It was colder than we expected so we went to bed early as soon as it began getting dark.

29 May 1994-Sunday

We were up when the sun rose and built a campfire. It was chilly in the canyon but the area was spectacular. As we weren’t going to spend another night here, we packed away our camping equipment and tent and headed back to do some more sightseeing. We went to the Cliff Palace which was kind of arduous as there was a very steep path way to a rope ladder that you had to climb to get to the ledge where the cliff palace was located which was extremely interesting as way more impressive than I remembered as a kid. Visiting the ruin took a lot of time and energy and while we planned on going to the Balcony House Cliff dwelling we just weren’t up to doing another rope ladder climb so were finished. We took some more time looking through the museum before leaving the park. We drove back out of Mesa Verde to Durango, Colorado because Michael wanted to check out what it would take to take the train to Silverton. We hadn’t planned on doing it because I told Michael that I remember it taking most of a day to go up and back. Durango was a fun tourist town and we ate lunch there before heading back to Cortez then back into Utah and up to Moab where we spent the night again at Michael’s friends place. We went to supper at Honest Ozzie’s and then Michael wanted to go to Woody’s Tavern for a beer. I was super tired but went along. I think Michael was hoping to hook up with some one but it was early when we were there and left before 9 to get some rest for tomorrow’s trip back to Salt Lake.

Additional Material Coronation XIX of the Royal Court of Golden Spike Empire was held at the Salt Palace. The new Emperor was a Lesbian , “Wop Pantelone” and Empress was Marci Malloy.

30 May 1994 Monday

Today is Memorial Day and we left Moab early to beat some of the holiday traffic. Moab was super crowded with “gear-heads” and off road vehicles everywhere so I am glad we didn’t spend any time there this time. We just got a cup of coffee for the road and stopped in Green River for breakfast at McDonalds. It was another 3 hours into Salt Lake and I drove from Green River to Price but let Michael drive through Spanish Fork Canyon but fortunately there wasn’t any accidents as there often are with people trying to pass slower vehicles. We were home by 2 and I was exhausted from the long road trip but it was good to have visited Mesa Verde again as it was kid of nostalgic for. Billy Cat was happy to see me I think as he sprayed my leg the little shit. The weather was decent for the trip but glad to be back home so I can rest for “hell week” the last 4 days of school where all we do is try to entertain the kids before cutting them loose.

31 May 1994-Tuesday

All that is in the news is that Ezra Taft Benson died yesterday at the age of 94. For most of his tenure he was a vegetable the LDs church mucky-muck kept hidden away. His grandson Steven Benson made quite a stink about his grandfather being incapacitated and not fit to be church president. Like his predecessor, old Ezra was a big time homophobe so good riddance. It was an early out today for the kids and I had them start taking all the bulletin boards down as I won’t be in this class room next year. During my prep time I just filled out the permanent record cards to pass on to the six grade team and I sat with Elayne Day and Reva George to place our students into Dan Unger, Karen Fisher, and Susan McAdam’s the grade classes evenly. I was exhausted when I came home and took a nap until Michael Romero came home. We didn’t do anything for the rest of the evening.  So ends the merry month of May and it hasn’t always been merry between Michael and me. It may well be that with Benjamin Anderson gone we have to actually deal with our relationship.

Additional Material Ezra Taft Benson, 13th president of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and former U.S. agriculture secretary, died Monday of congestive heart failure at 2:35 p.m. in his Salt Lake residence. He was 94. The church leader had been in failing health for years. In 1990, Benson had two blood clots removed from his skull. After that, his condition steadily declined, until he barely could speak, had to be fed by a nasal tube and could not leave his apartment. No LDS president since Joseph Smith so thoroughly combined his politics and religion. During the 1950s and '60s, Benson was one of the nation's most vociferous critics of communism, calling it a tool of Satan. Yet he presided over the church when it was recognized by the Soviet government in 1991 and when the Soviet and Eastern European communist systems collapsed a few months later. During his administration, the First Presidency issued statements opposing gambling, particularly lotteries and pari-mutuel betting. In 1988, it made a statement on AIDS, expressing compassion for those afflicted with the disease, but re-emphasizing chastity before marriage, fidelity in marriage and abstinence from all homosexual behavior. While a church leader, Benson continued to espouse the ultra-right-wing tenets of the John Birch Society. Benson's son, Reed, once was a regional coordinator for the group, and his wife, Flora, was a member. But Benson never joined. In February 1980, Benson gave a speech at Brigham Young University called ``Fourteen Fundamentals of Following the Prophet.'' In it, he proclaimed the right of the LDS prophet to speak and act politically. ``Most people saw that as a warning of his own future intentions,'' said historian D. Michael Quinn. Perhaps Benson's most controversial address was to the women of the church in 1987. He urged them to marry at an early age, stay home and rear large families rather than pursue careers outside the home. (05/31/94  Page: A1 SLTribune)

JUNE

1 June 1994 Wednesday

Today was field day for the entire school. Each grade level had time to use the playing field and 4^th, 5^th, and 6^th had the afternoon. We had relays and basketball shoots and just generally let the kids mill around. This morning I had my students turn in all their text books and we stacked them away for the next year 5^th grade class. All the wall posters have been taken down and the room looks pretty bare but tomorrow we will clean and stack the desks. There’s going to be a lot of changes next year not only with new classes, new teachers, but also a new principal. It’s about time.

2 June 1994 Thursday

The last full day of school. I had the kids clear out their desks, put what they wanted to keep into their backpacks, and washed the tops before having them bring the desks and chairs out into the hall way. Arnold our custodians always have us take everything out so over the summer they can scrub the carpets and clean walls. So in the after noon I had the kids watch “Tiny Toon Adventures: How I Spent My Vacation.”  That killed about 90 minutes in the afternoon before having them go play Kickball with the other 5^th Grade Classes. Michael Romero is being moody again. I think he’s envious that school is ending for me and soon I will have my summer off.

3 June 1994 Friday

Today is my mom’s 65^th birthday. I sent her a card last Tuesday but called her this evening to wish her happy birthday. She said dad and she went to Sizzlers for dinner in Cottonwood and she is feeling pretty good especially since her eyesight went back to normal and even better she said. At school Stanger had a school wide assembly this last day to hand out some awards for Presidential Fitness and Attendance. Ribbons for field day races were also given out. It was mostly a time filler. The kids ate sack lunches in the room as the cafeteria had closed and we went out side for them to play. It was an early out for the kids, so after passing out their reports cards and hugging the few who wanted hugs, off they fled excited for summer.  I was exhausted and sat at my desk looking at my empty room. This year was much better than the kids I had last year. Elayne Day and Reva George went in on plant to give me and thanked me for being so easy to work with. I went over to Hal Olsen’s room where he hadn’t even cleaned out. As I was changing grades with a new curriculum I told Hal just leave every thing and I will come in this summer and go through what I want to save and what I will discard. So old Hal actually got off scott free from having to close his room down and clear out all he had accumulated over his time at Orchard.   When Michael Romero came home we went to La Frontera for Chili Verde burritos to celebrate my having survived another school year. When we went to bed he actually screwed me which we haven’t made love in weeks.

4 June 1994- Saturday

I feel like I can finally breathe again now that the last week of school is over. I worked on doing laundry and cleaning all the stuff I neglected this last week. In the evening Michael and I went to early showing at 5:15 of Sex Is playing at the Tower. There were lots of people there from the community.

Additional  Material Sex Is...”More like Sex Was…, this extremely frank document of the sex lives of gay men shows, with both compassion and incisiveness, how AIDS changed an entire lifestyle for a subculture. Sex Is… is also very much about what being gay now means. The interviewees range from porn star to minister, young to old, articulate to inexpressive. Funny, sweet, sad, and often more than a little scary, this picture will someday serve as a time capsule, to which a future generation might respond with both fascination and disbelief.

·         There's a new star in Heaven tonight, because on June 4, 1994, Mark Joseph Pehrson walked into the light. He took with him only that which he had in his head, and left behind a whole lot of people who loved him...plus many wonderful memories. In this life he was born on April 7, 1952. He attended school in Magna and graduated from Cyprus in 1970. Worked at Safeway for 18 years, and as a landscape gardener. Survived by a good friend and caretaker, Frank Wright; plus his faithful little black dog, Weavel, who never left his side right up to the end. Since 1990, Mark has literally left his mark in the community as an AIDS activist, serving as assistant director and board member of the People with Aids Coalition. His compassion for other people prompted him to not only care for their physical needs but their emotional needs as well, and he was much loved and respected. He never considered himself a victim, he accepted the hand that life had dealt him with grace and courage, and thought of this part of his life as being a "learning experience"...often pointing out that "we are all in the race for the roses." We are terribly proud of the way Mark handled this disease and dying, and although he is gone from this physical plane, he will always be part of our consciousness.   All things bright and beautiful, all creatures great and small, all things warm and wonderful,  Mark Pehrson loved them all. He had the eye of an artist, the soul of a poet, an open mind and an understanding heart. Now he is with You, God. Love him as we did. At Mark's request, his remains were cremated, and since he always believed that flowers should be for the living...not for the dead ...please buy flowers for someone you love, or make a donation in his name to Holy Cross Continuity of Care

5 June 1994 Sunday

I called Chuck Whyte and asked him if he was going to the Metropolitan Community Church to see the new pastor installed. He was not amused. Oh well. Nothing is as certain as change. Michael Romero rode our bikes down to Liberty Park and rode around the circle several times. The Park was packed with people as it was a nice day out. I saw a lot of guys going I and out of the men’s toilet on the east side of the park next to where guys were playing Volleyball with their shirts off.

Additional Material: The Rev. Cindy Solomon has been called as pastor of Salt Lake City's Sacred Light of Christ Metropolitan Community Church, 823 S. 600 East.

6 June 1994 Monday

So begins my actually first day of Summer Vacation. The weekend just feels like a normal weekend but not having to get up and  so I can sleep in really starts my vacation. In the afternoon I went to the genealogical library to try and find more Martinez family of Questa, in Taos County, New Mexico

7 June 1994 Tuesday

Michael Romero didn’t come home tonight. I know he’s probably out with someone he met on the BBS site.

8 June 1994 Wednesday

I called Jimy Hamamoto this morning  to ask he wanted to go to the movies. He did so we went to the Sugar House 10’s $1 movies and saw “Threesome”. The critics didn’t like it but I did. It was  about three college dorm mates, two guys and a girl. The girl was accidentally assigned to the boys dormitory. One guy was straight and in love with the girl. The girl was in love with the other guy who is Gay but who was in love with the straight guy. It was an interesting coming of age film. After the movie was out, we went to pick up our plane tickets for our trip to Boston to see John Reeves, who is going to drive us down to New York City for the Parade to celebrate the 25^th Anniversary of Stonewall.  I wrote Jimmy a check for $336 to cover my portion as he had put the whole amount on his credit card. After taking care of that   we just did some running around doing errands. I picked up some books from the Utah Stonewall library  to read. Jimmy said he’s doing the Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwich booth  again for KRCL’s Day In the Park which happens to be on the same day as Gay Pride Day so I won’t be able to help him man his booth.

9 June 1994 Thursday

Today is my oldest sister’s 47^th birthday. I spent much f the morning typing up my lecture on the Riots at Stonewall for my talk  at U.S. West for their Eagle group. Richard Cottino had asked me at last community council meeting to come speak to them.  He said the Eagle Club is sponsoring a month long Gay Pride forum. I had to have a security pass to enter the building and I had to laugh when coincidently my visitor pass number was 69 . ha! Richard and I both thought it was funny  and how appropriate and purely co-incidental. Anyhow about 15 Gay and Lesbian employees  showed up for my lecture and I think it went well.  I did my “Ben Williams Thing”  as John Reeves likes to call it. After leaving  U.S. West at 1 in the afternoon, I went to Body Works on 3^rd South  to meet with John “Dixie” Merrill. He wanted me to give him some information about the Parade in New York City as he is thinking about going.  While I was there, a  member of the Pride Day Committee came to the salon  and he talked to me about what kind of mic I wanted for Pride Day for my speech. He then  proceeded to tell me all about the trouble the Pride Day Committee was having with Antonia Dela Guerra. It sounds like Cathy Matthews, Antonia’s co-chair  is the only one keeping Antonia from turning the day in a Lesbian Pride Day. He also told me who was chosen to be the Kristen Ries Award recipient for this year and it is Kim Russo. I was hoping it would be either Luci Malin or David Nelson but since I had no say in it this year, I guess it doesn’t really matter. After leaving John Merrill I went grocery shopping and bought enough food to make some lasagna and chocolate chip cookies for Michael Romero who bee kind of snippy at me because I haven’t had to go to work even though he was off work for three months when he first moved in with me.  Anyway, at home I was shocked to see Bobbie Smith  walking up the steps to the apartment. He came over around 3, he said to make amends with me as he said he was leaving Salt Lake City and moving on June 20^th. I really am not sure how I feel about the news of him moving away or even seeing him in my front room after all this time and harboring such bitter resentment towards him over dirty way I was treated with the Pillar.  I think from our conversation  he has finally realized that he did me wrong. He said that he cashed out yesterday his interest in the Pillar. Basically Brandan Creer said take what Todd Dayley and he offered or get nothing! Brandan had quit his other job and is working full time for the Pillar soliciting ads. So he finally got what he wanted.  Dave Ball, Bobbie, and I the original faeries are out of the picture completely. Perhaps now Bobbie knows Todd Dayley and Brandan Creer as the vipers they are. I know they will  eventually get their comeuppance. Karma is a true law of the universe,  Anyway Bobbie said he’s giving up his apartment on Del Mar Court and moving, first back to the Pacific northwest to see his folks and then later to perhaps Wisconsin. He also said he went to the Utah Stonewall Center yesterday, right after Jimmy Hamamoto and I had left to make amends with Melissa Sillitoe and to apologize for how he treated her when he was the head librarian. He also gave me a letter to read in which he said we have been “soul friends”. I hugged him as he left but somehow I know we can never go back to the way we were when we were Faeries but I certainly wish him well in all his new adventures and future endeavors. So the door that was Bobbie and me has closed. Perhaps new ones will open.

10 June 1994 Friday

Michael has been dreading this day with a passion because he has to go into work tonight to inventory some store that Big A has bought out. I went out to Bare Ass Beach alone for the first time in over 3 years.  The horseflies were awful and I was eaten alive.  I tried to read the book Bobbie Smith gave me on the history of England.  It wasn't too cruisy out there. I did have sex with this one really cute and guy and once with this charity case.  Michael told me to go to bare ass beach so he knew what I was doing there and I told him about it when I got home.  The whole time I was with Jeff Workman I never had sex with anyone but him but Michael knows and I know that we aren't sexually satisfying to each other because we are bottoms.  It doesn't mean that I love Michael any less and would like to spend a life time with him but not when he is in one of his foul negative moods and makes me feel worthless.  After Michael went out to do the inventory tonight I went down to the genealogy library for a bit and when I came home at 9 Michael was already home. He said that it went faster than he thought it would.  He asked me then if I wanted to go met Jim Dunker and Glenn at The Deerhunter.  I knew Michael needed to get out so I said yes.  Big mistake.  Michael put on his leathers to cruise the bar. I was so bored. When he left me and disappeared at one point, I was ready to walk home. It was it was after 1 a.m. when he showed up again so we went home.

11 June 1994 Saturday

Michael and I were up at 7 a.m. this morning.  He had to work this Saturday inventorying some warehouse. He was really dreading it. I wrote my Speech for Pride Day finally this morning and finished it up about noon when Michael came home from work.  I'm really disappointed that he isn't going to Pride Day to support me and that he thinks being up in the mountains is more important than being with me.  But it is his choice and I can't beg him to be with me.  But still it made me sad when he packed his Blazer and drove off. I know it is just a matter of time before he packs for good.  After he left I didn't want to stay home so I went to the Genealogy library and did some research until about 7 then came back home to type up the notes.

12 June 1994 Sunday

Today is Gay Pride Day. I was up at 8 a.m. finishing working on my speech and also typing up notes on the Romero family.  I finally left the house at 11 a.m. to ride my bike over to the Northwest Multipurpose Center west of the State Fairgrounds by the Jordan River where they were having Gay Pride Day.  It already looked rather festive by the time I got there. It was really hot out in the sun too.  They were late getting started. What else is new right? And after the Youth Group did the flag presentation and Marci Malloy lipped synced the Star Spangled Banner, it was my turn to speak.  Earlier this kid in charge of the performers asked me who I was and how I wanted to be introduced.  I said just Ben Williams will do.  He didn't have a clue who I was.  Sign of the times. Finally I said just introduce me as the director of the Stonewall Historical Society for Gay and Lesbian Studies but I don't know why I bothered because Joe Redburn who was Emceeing flubbed it all up.. He introduced me by saying that I'd be singing!  I went on the stage and said, "You really don't want to hear me sing!"  Then proceeded to do my speech on Stonewall and the  heroes of the Utah Gay Community.  Afterwards people said my speech went well.  I considered myself the keynote speaker since I found out I was the only speaker on the program! Saw a lot of people who I hadn't seen in a long, long time. Gay Pride really is like a family reunion.  Becky Moss is running for Board of Directors for KRCL and Ray Nelson wants to start a new support group now that Unconditional Support has died.  Just writing that seems kind of odd.  I walked around seeing all these people and really just wanting to be with Michael Romero who chose not to be here with me.  After listening to the Lesbian and Gay Chorus of Utah I rode my bike on home.  It was a hot day.  At home Michael was on the couch sleeping.  I wanted to kiss him but I didn't want to wake him up so I just laid down beside him.  I tried to be friendly and loving to him during the evening but he seemed stand offish and distant.  So ended Gay Pride Day. So is ending my relationship with sweet Michael. Michael got out of bed and went and slept in the front room.

Additional Material The Dr. Kristen Ries Community Service Award was given to Kim Russo.

·         GAY PRIDE DAY SPEECH -25 Years ago Judy Garland died on 22 June 1969.  On June 27th, 20,000 people waited up to 4 hours in the blistering NEW YORK CITY heat to view her body.  Flags flew at half mast on the posh Gay resort of Fire Island.  Old and young alike wept for Little Dorothy Gale of Kansas.  It was an end of an era. That night in Greenwich Village police officers did a not so unusual raid on a popular Gay Drag Queen bar owned by the Mafia. The bar had been operating without a liquor license and using bottles without federal tax stamps on them.  Along with the raid a new era was to begin.  A paradigm shift in the collective consciousness of Gay and Lesbian people  would take place because of the actions taken at this small sleazy, illegally operated bar called the Stonewall Inn. For the first time ever in modern times, Gays and Lesbians fought back against their oppressors. AS the poet Ginsberg said, "The wounded Fag look was gone forever". Three days of rioting in the Village along 7th Avenue and Christopher Street became the catalyst for a new social movement.  Gay LIBERATION was born.  No longer would the Establishment go unchallenged in their prosecution and persecution of Gay and Lesbian People. Antiquated laws based on bigotry and false scientific conclusions gave way as the American Psychiatry Association, due to militant disruption of their conventions, removed homosexuality off their list of mental disorders and States began to abolish unconstitutional Sodomy Laws. Gay and Lesbian people became willing to take control of their own destiny by collectively buying into the idea of Gay and Lesbian Unity and Solidarity.  New leaders understood that only united could a people so long despised and oppressed ever begin to hope for or even demand the same basic human rights as granted  to every other American citizen who happened to have been born heterosexual and those who pretend. The Stonewall Movement immediately spread to San Francisco, Los Angeles, Boston, Seattle, Atlanta and other large urban population centers.  And within a few short months in October 1969 it even came to Utah. In 1971  a congregation of the Metropolitan Community Church was established Utah. And shortly thereafter an unofficial Gay Student Union was formed at the University of Utah.   Joe Redburn opened in 1973 a Gay Bar called The Sun on where the Delta Center now sits. It became not only a social gathering place but a political gathering place for young Gay people who were the disciples of the Gay Liberation Movement. The first Gay and Lesbian Liberation Newsletters were printed in this bar which for a while served also as a community center. By 1975 the Royal Court of the Golden Spike Empire was a going concern and a Gay Community Center opened however in 1976 it closed!  But The GAY HELP line was established in 1976 from funds from the Royal Court and volunteers. In 1978 Leonard Matlovich and David Kopay came to Utah for Utah's 1st Annual GAY PRIDE DAY and spoke at the HOTEL UTAH! In 1979 KRCL a local public radio station came on the air with Gay and Lesbians issues and programs. And with the beginning of the 1980's the tide of Gay and Lesbian Pride was unstoppable even with the onslaught of a deadly plague.  What other people could perform so notably under these dreadful and painful conditions and yet continue to grow and build for the future? But why did this all happen in 1969 and not some other year? Could it be that  69 has a  very dear and special meaning to the hearts of homosexual? I don't think that is it.  The end of the sixties witnessed the young people of this country actively engaged in trying to change society; to end oppression of Blacks, Women, and all minorities.  There was a collective consciousness that told us that we must all surely hang together or the "establishment" would hang us separately.  But back to the present.  Not all the heroes were in New York City or San Francisco.  Utah, the center and soul of Gay Oppression in the west has a litany of outstanding true heroes. People who were willing to put their jobs, reputations, even lives on the line to make Utah a better place for Gay and Lesbian people in which to live.  I wish I had an hour to truly list my heroes.  These True and Faithful are HARD ROCK STONES in OUR STONEWALL. I'll omit so many I know. Please Forgive me but I cannot stand up here and not recognize the people who built a Stonewall around you so that we can enjoy this Fabulous Day! STEVE HOLBROOK-co-founder of KRCL public Radio VAL MANSFIELD-Mountain & Desert States Coordinator & Community helper, Abby MAESTAS- a founding member of the a woman's cooperative bookstore in 1982, BECKY MOSS-host & producer of Concerning Gays and Lesbians on KRCL since 1983, STAN ERICKSON the first voice on KRCL's Gay Radio, DEAN-(AUNTI De) WALTON-Community Center visionary and humanitarian BOB MCINTYRE- Spiritual leader for the Gay and Lesbian restoration churches MELISSA SIILITOE-tireless director of the Stonewall Center, GARTH CHAMBERLAIN-one of the founders of the Youth Group, RUSS LANE-founder of the Wasatch Affirmation, DAVID NELSON- Founder of  Gay and Lesbian Utah Democrats and Political Activist, MICHAEL AARON- Founder of the Anti Violence Project in 1985 and organized LGSU in 1981, KATHY WORTHINGTON- Founder of WCN and tireless supporter of the Stonewall Center, BOBBY SMITH- Founder of the Utah Stonewall Library, Rev. BRUCE BARTON- Spiritual leader for the Gay Christian Community since 1978., BEAU CHAINE- Founder of the Community Service Center, Cabaret Corporation, and voice of the Gay Help Line since 1984, CHUCK WHYTE- creator of the Unity Show, NIKKI BOYER- Constant champion of Gay People and co-incorporator of Gay Pride in 1985,  JOE REDBURN- started The Sun Tavern, The Trapp and The Bricks, BEN BARR-Driving force behind The Utah AIDS Project and Foundation, PATTI REAGAN- Founder of the Salt Lake AIDS Foundation, LUCI MALIN-leader of the Lesbian contingency of  NOW, BABS DELAY- Voice for women's issues on KRCL for 15 years, ROCKY O'DONAVAN- Founder of GAY Historical Society & creator of the 1st Gay Pride March in Utah, MARSHALL BRUNNER-tireless supporter of Gay causes and co-incorporator of Pride Day in 1985, SATU - Publisher of the Triangle Magazine, DAVID SHARPTON- AIDS awareness advocate and founder of Utah's PWAC, GREG GARCIA-founding member of Wasatch Motorcycle Club & GLCCU and Hell Raiser, STEVE BAXTER owner of the ever changing & improving Deer Hunter, BOB WALDROP- Gay Libertarian and leader of one of the first Gay Protest in Utah, editor of the Open Door from the 1976., MARCI MALLOY- Humanitarian whose shows have brought in thousands of dollars to the community, GORDON JODIE KOTTERWINKLE, KRAZY PETE, MOTHER BOB, 's unselfish commitment to the Gay Community. CARRIE GAYLOR- Tireless promoter of the Anti-violence Projects and Rape Crisis Centers Dr. KRISTEN RIES- a truly Humanitarian doctor the first to treat AIDS patients in Utah LaDONNA MOORE- Current direct of the Utah AIDS Foundation, CURTIS JENSEN  co-instigator of QUEER NATION,  Everyone and anyone who helped keep The Royal COURT of the Golden Spike Empire,  The Lesbian and Gay Student Union of the U. The Metropolitan Community Churches of Utah, The Gay and Lesbian Community Council of Utah, Unconditional Support for Gays and Lesbians, The 1st Thursdays Women's Group, Women AWARE , OWLS, WASATCH AFFIRMATION, and The Utah Stonewall Center up and running! I THANK YOU ALL FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY SOUL. AND YOU OUT THERE! 25 YEARS FROM NOW! WILL YOU BE THE STONEWALLS FOR THE NEXT GENERATION!  BE A HERO! BE GAY AND PROUD!

13 June 1994 Monday-

All sweet things surely must come to an end. I think my sweet Michael doesn't love me any more and will soon be leaving me.  He told me this morning that he wouldn't be home this evening. Said something about seeing his friend Rob.  I later figured that out.  He was going to pick up a hitch for his truck.  That way he'll be able to pull a trailer. Is he thinking of moving?  The last time we talked he said he had no intentions about moving out.  I worked most of the day on writing his family tree up and it took almost all day. I do want to finish it.  Its my gift to his sweet family and his legacy to them.  It was a hot, hot day! 97 degrees.  The  news said it hadn't been this hot since August of 1992! Anyways about 6 I decided to go for a bike ride. I went down to the Stonewall Center.  Alex Gallegos was volunteering tonight.  Luci Malin was moderating a fund raising group.  I left the center about 7 and rode over to see Jimmy Hamamoto but he wasn't home.  Bobbie Smith came out of his apartment and we sat down like old times and visited. Still won't talk about the Pillar. Its simply taboo for me.  Still too much pain and resentment.  He's still planning on leaving June 20th.  I'm going to buy a futon from him to put in the back of my truck.  The wind kicked up out of the south because of a cool front coming in and I didn't get home until 9 p.m.  Michael was home sitting on the couch.  Again he  didn't say more then ten words to me. And I to him.  My heart is really sad.

Additional Material GAYS, LESBIANS OBSERVE 14TH UTAH `PRIDE DAY' By Joe Costanzo, Staff Writer Utah's gay and lesbian community celebrated "Pride Day" with song, dance, art, exhibits, networking and support Sunday at Salt Lake City's Northwest Community Center. "Pride Day" is observed annually throughout the nation in commemoration of New York's "Stone-wall riots" of 1969, which organizers say provided a catalyst for the modern gay and lesbian civil-rights movement. Sunday's celebration was the 14th "Pride Day" in Utah, attracting more than 3,000 gays and lesbians along with family members, friends and supporters. "This event gives us a sense of place and an opportunity to celebrate and recreate," said John Bennett, president of the Lesbian and Gay Chorus of Salt Lake City. Though he believes the social and political climate has improved for gays and lesbians in Utah, Bennett notes that openness, including the name of his own organization, still raises some eyebrows. "People are just astounded that we call ourselves the "Lesbian and Gay Chorus.' The reaction we get is either overwhelming support or as-ton-ishment," he said. Antonia M. De La Guerra, "Pride Day" chairperson, said the annual celebration drew less than 300 participants just a few years ago. "Today there are thousands of people here. That's the way it is all over the country." Don R. Austin said the large turnout gives the gay and lesbian community more clout. Political and legislative leaders have sometimes overlooked gays and lesbians because they believe their numbers are insignificant, Austin said. "This shows them we can't be overlooked." However, Austin said the most important aspect of the celebration is that it brings the community together and provides an environment of mutual support and self-esteem. According to Austin, Utah's gays and lesbians have as many "fractions and factions" as their counterparts in other cities but have avoided conflict. "The thing that's different is we work together on most issues and activities." "We share the underlying desire for freedom of being," added J. Nelson Ramsey. "That's the common thread." Gail Scott, who was celebrating her first "Pride Day," said the event provides individuals with "support, harmony and peace." She also said it provides a forum for gay and lesbian business networking, music and arts. The festival included about 50 booths featuring informational materials, exhibits and artistic wares, with proceeds going toward next year's celebration. _© 1999 Deseret News Publishing Co.

15 June 1994  Wednesday

No Entry

Additional Material A Weber State University administrator accused of abducting a man at gunpoint after being refused a sexual favor faces an Aug. 30 trial date.  Phillip O. Austin, 43, entered a plea of not guilty last month to a first-degree felony aggravated kidnapping charge. The trial date was set Tuesday morning by Judge Stanton Taylor, 2nd District. Austin, director of academic advisement, is accused of kidnapping Colby Clifford, 20, in Roy on March 12. During a preliminary hearing last month, Clifford said Austin gave him a ride and told him he was a homosexual.  Clifford was driven to his own home after he said he refused a sexual advance by Austin. A few weeks later, the former Weber State student was on campus when he recognized Austin as his alleged abductor and called police. Austin has been director of academic advisement since September 1993. He was suspended with pay pending the trial's outcome. -- The Associated Press

16 June 1994 Thursday

Today is my grandma Johnsons birthday. She died two years ago at the age of 93.

17 June 1994 Friday

No Entry

18 June 1994 Saturday-

I am so fed up with Michael Romero. I am just tired  of his moodiness. Today we drove 200 miles to Vernal then another 70 miles to meet his folks at Dinosaur National Monument on the Colorado border. I had never been there and was excited to go but the entire way there Michael would speak to me like he didn’t want to be with me or his parents.  The only time we talked at all to each other was around his folks. Rawlins Wyoming was closer to the monument than we were from Salt Lake. His sister Michelle and niece Christine came down from Wyoming with his parents also. His grandma Nora  said she was not feeling  up to the journey I almost want to cry when they were taking pictures of fossils and dinosaur footprints  and I said let me take a picture of the entire family, and Faye Romero said to me “Well you are family too.”  That melted my heart. We drove around off road  after looking at the quarry to look at scenery but I was just miserable and Michael didn’t speak to me all the way back to Salt Lake. Once home, I took off and went to Memory rove just to read the History of England so as to get away from Michael and let him have his space.

Additional Material- The Utah AIDS Foundation 6th Annual Walk for Life was held at Salt Lake City's Liberty Park. Proceeds from the walk benefit the Utah AIDS Foundation and other Utah   AIDS service organizations. Currently, the foundation is serving 500 people living with HIV/AIDS, the leading cause of death among young men in Salt Lake City. According to Moore, the foundation last year distributed 65,000 pounds of food from the food bank, delivered 3,900 hot meals to the home-bound, took hotline calls and directly educated more than 27,000 people about HIV. The foundation also offers support groups, a buddy program, peer support for the terminally ill, family therapy and a therapeutic massage program for pain control and healing. Other groups that will benefit from the walk are the People With AIDS Coalition of Utah, the Cache Valley AIDS Council and the Northern Utah AIDS Society. The 10K pledge walk, wound through downtown and conclude at Liberty Park,. Participants sign a banner after completing the Utah AIDS Foundation Walk for Life Saturday in Liberty Park. About 2,000 people took part in the annual event, more than twice last year's number. The walk raised more than $140,000 for the foundation. At the 6th Annual Walk For Life  Saturday, there were scores of tales of hope and spirit in the face of a deadly disease.  Four years ago, Barb Barnhart took the HIV test four times before she accepted she had   AIDS. She calls it her period of denial. ``My first reaction was total disbelief,'' said the retired University of Utah nurse. ``Then for the first six months, I focused really heavily that I was going to die, and there was nothing I could do about it.''  Saturday in Liberty Park, the Salt Lake City woman was beaming because she has turned 30. And for the past three years, that gloomy depression has evolved into a positive approach to life -- even after about 20 routine visits to the hospital. ``I've learned to appreciate the little things,'' she said before the walk. ``Every time there is a sunset, I notice it. Every day, I wake up and do something fun whether it's going on a vacation or just going to the park to feed the ducks.'' It is the fifth year she has participated in the walk, which benefits HIV/AIDS programs and education for Utahns. At her side is Shamus, a gigantic golden retriever sporting a Walk For Life shirt. ``Hope is a big part of it,'' Barnhart said. ``Part of dealing with AIDS is the hope and the learning to live.'' About 2,000 people participated in Saturday's event, more than twice the number than last year, said John Johnson, development coordinator for Utah AIDS Foundation . Walkers were required to solicit at least $15 in donations to participate. The organization raised more than $140,000 from Saturday's event, he said. Participants traveled from the park to South Temple, Main Street and back to the park  ``The event will get much bigger every year. We want to make the Walk For Life the biggest walk in the state,'' Johnson said.  ``You look around you and you see families, you see all kinds of people. They know that  AIDS is no longer a gay disease,''  he added. Ten years ago, there were 17 confirmed Utah cases of AIDS, or Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome. Today, there are more than 1,700, and possibly an equal number that have not yet been confirmed,  Johnson said. Becky Young has gotten total support from her family since she learned in 1988 she had contracted HIV, the virus that leads to AIDS. Saturday, Young and six family members joined the walk. ``It [HIV virus] has slowed me down a lot, but I keep going,'' said the 45-year-old Duchesne woman. ``I've gotten a lot of support and a lot of love.''

19 June 1994 Sunday

I avoided Michael for much of the day hanging out at Liberty Park and reading the Sunday Paper and my book. When I came home to get something to eat there was a message on the machine that he was over at Jim Dunker’s. Jim had broken up with Glenn a couple of weeks ago and some guy from Michigan had come to live with him but Jim had asked him to leave. Michael was there to intervene. I sat on the front porch water my flowers and reading when he came home. He could tell I was upset so he had me to lay down with him in our bed. Eventually we undressed and went to sleep.

20 June 1994 Monday

I am so confused over our relationship probably because Michael Romero is as confused as I am. After he went off to work I taped some of his record albums, went to the bank to finally close out the Delta Institute Account. I transferred the remaining $300 into my personal  account. Then I went over to Jim Dunker’s trailer to see his “pen pal” from Michigan who came to Utah to be with him. He was truly singing the blues and is so hung up on Jim. It’s pretty shitty what Jim did having him come all the way out here just to reject him. I left to be home when Michael was off work and fixed burritos  for diner  tonight. We rode our bikes over to Trolley Square to the go see “Speed” at the Trolly Corner theaters. The film was really suspenseful and gripping.  After the show  let out we rode our  bikes downtown and went to Del Mar Court to see Bobbie Smith and Jimmy Hamamoto. I guess Bobbie is leaving tomorrow  for Washington State for certain.  Well I’ve already made my emotional break with Bobbie over a year ago. What is going on with Michael? I’m not sure since we downgraded our relationship from exclusive lovers to simply boyfriends,  and now we are like “sisters” and he’s more affectionate than ever. I wake up with him hugging me and I fall asleep with him hugging me. On a very sad note I heard that Scott Wolfer, the young drama friend of Matt Uhl  died on the 16^th. I just saw his obituary in the newspaper today. He was only 22 years old and died of heart disease.  Last year we read the play “Angels in America” together. .

21 June 1994 Tuesday

Today is Michael Romero’s 38^th birthday. His grandma Nora Trejo sent him a birthday card with $20 in it. When he came home from work at Big A he was tired but we went out to eat at  Ruby River Steakhouse at 400 South and 700 East. It was kind of pricey but good. Even though it was a steak house Michael ordered the Grilled Salmon but I had a petite sirloin. Dinner was nearly $25 with the tip. Jimmy Hamamoto and I are flying out tomorrow for Boston so Michael will be on his own until Friday when he flies into New York for the weekend.

22 June 1994 Wednesday

I packed his morning but didn’t have to take much as I am only going away for about a week all though Jimmy Hamamoto plans on staying much longer in Boston for some public supported radio station conference as a representative of KRCL. We had a really early flight so Michael Romero was able to take us to the airport before he went to off. We waited just about a half hour to board at 9:30. It was a long flight but it sure beats taking a bus or the train which I have before. We arrived at the Logan Airport and John Reeves was there at 4 to greet us. He was so excited for us to be in Boston but he had to go right back to Bunker Hill Community College for his late afternoon sociology class he teaches so we went with him and just went to the student center and hung out until around 6. We weren’t starving as we had a light lunch served on the plane and some peanuts and it was only 4 o’clock Salt Lake Time.  When John collected us he took us through Cambridge so Jimmy cold have a quick look at Harvard before crossing back over the Charles River to his apartment in part of a house in Jamaica Plains. He had dinner planned out for us and after we ate we just hung out and visited about our itinerary

23 June 1994 Thursday

While John Reeves went into Bunker Hill for a meeting with the Dean of his department I took Jimmy Hamamoto downtown to the Commons and Faneuil Hall. I showed him where the Boston Massacre took place. Unlike me, Jimmy was more interested in finding record stores and books stores so we did that by going back to Boylston and downtown. When John Reeves came home we were already back his place and we just walked to a neighborhood bistro and had dinner. We sat outside and people watched in the Jamaica Plains neighborhood.  We didn’t stay up late  as John wanted an early start for the drive into New York which can be a mess. Its only a little over 200 miles to New York but depending on traffic it can be from 4 to 5 hours. Just 5 days ago Michael Romero and I drove further than that and stayed within Utah.

24 June 1994 Friday

John Reeves, Jimmy Hamamoto, and were on the road out of Boston by 8 with most traffic coming into the city not out. Jimmy said that he had never seen so many trees and green landscape before. The East Coast seems lush for what we are used to out west and even in California.  The trees block any view along the highways.  We took the interstate 90 and traveled  west before catching 84 and turned south into Connecticut. We stopped in Hartford and found an IHOP to stop for breakfast as it was nearly 10.  John was like a tour guide telling is all kinds of information of how Massachusetts and Connecticut are so different mainly due to immigrants. The freeway through Hartford was all mixed up to me but somehow we were on Interstate 91 still heading south but after that I couldn’t keep up as from Hartford to New York it was town after town. We finally arrived in Manhattan around 1 o’clock and John was a pro maneuvering in all the city traffic.  We went to the Portland Hotel at 132 West 47th Street where John had booked two rooms one for Jimmy and him to share and one for Michael Romero and me. After finding a garage to park the Mazda we went back the hotel, checked in and took a nap. Michael is flying into LaGuardia tonight around 10 or 11.

Additional Material  Sign of the Times. Members of Sacred Light of Christ Metropolitan Community  Church in Salt Lake City paid more than $300 to have a 4-by-8-foot wooden sign hand painted and installed on wooden stakes. It was up one week before thieves took it.

·         Two educators have had their teaching certificates yanked for what has become the most common reason for losing the right to teach in Utah: sexual misconduct.   Loran Elmo Swensen of the Salt Lake City School District and Michelle J. Martineau of the San Juan School District had their licenses revoked by the State School Board earlier this month.   Third District Judge Michael Murphy sent Swensen to prison for up to 15 years for two counts of second-degree felony sexual abuse of a child.   Swensen allegedly molested more than 20 girls at four Salt Lake City School District elementary schools. He pleaded guilty to touching the genitals and buttocks of two girls, ages 8 and 10.   Seventh District Judge Lyle Anderson sentenced Martineau to 5 years in prison after she pleaded guilty to forcible  sexual abuse of a child. Her sentence was suspended and she was placed on three years probation. Of the 37 educators who have had their licenses revoked, suspended or reinstated in the past two years, 24 have involved allegations of sexual improprieties.   ``A lot of that is homosexual activity in parks or solicitations for prostitutes,'' said Roger Mouritsen, director of certification for the state Office of Education.   Their names, social security numbers, dates of birth and license revocation date are forwarded to the National Association of State Directors of Teacher Education Certification (NASDTEC) clearinghouse in Seattle. It was established in 1987 to prevent them from getting a teaching job anyplace in the United States.   ``We are trying to avoid having such a person sexually abusing a child in Utah and then going across the border toColorado and abusing children over there,'' said Donald Hair, NASDTEC's executive director.   Mouritsen cautions that of nearly 21,000 certified educators in Utah, the number reprimanded by the state board is minuscule.   Still, ``one is too many,'' he said. boards opened investigations, but that state has not taken any formal actions.

25 June 1994  Saturday

We met Michael Romero at LaGuardia and his flight was on time last night but it was after midnight before we checked back in at the Portland for a busy day. Michael’s Aunt Alice Romero and her partner Judith Prince had flown in earlier from Seattle and Michael and I went out to meet them for breakfast. I know Michael was freaking out being in New York life I did back in 1987 when I first came to the city. We met up with them at a deli near Times Square and then took the subway down to Christopher Street where we said we would meet up with Jimmy Hamamoto and John Reeves at Sheridan Square. Alice and Judith went off to go to some Lesbian exhibit in the village. Michael and I waited for John and Jimmy but it was so crowded that we gave up and went sight seeing a bit and Michael was interested in looking at harnesses in this leatherman shop. Then we returned to our room to rest. Jimmy and John came back around 5 and said they were held up by the crowds so after they rested some we went and found a corner pizzeria and ate some dinner. We then back down to Sheridan Square and waited in line to get into the Stonewall Inn which had been turned back into a bar. When I was here in 1989 it was a boutique. The place had been gutted so it was all new inside. We only stayed long enough to say we were there and then went to the Oscar Wilde Bookstore.  It was way to crowded to do much and Michael was freaking out by the sheer number of people so we went back to the Portland. We never hooked back up with Alice and Judith. I almost wished Michael wouldn’t have come as he was happy being in New York.

26 June 1994 Sunday

Jimmy Hamamoto said last night that he had hooked up with some Radical Faeries here in New York who said there was to be a counter march besides the main one. Jimmy wanted to support the faeries and talked John into attended that parade while Michael and I were committee to meet Judieth Prince and Alice Romero  near Columbus Circle. The actually march I suppose started with a walked from the United Nations up First Avenue and then over to Central Park.  The city estimated 100,000 people marched in the parade with both side of the street packed with spectators. The parade organizers however said a million people attended the parade. We were right behind a barrier so we had a great view of the thousands of people waving rainbow-colored banners or flags and signs demanding more money for AIDS. . I heard later it was the largest Pride Parade up to now. I saw Liza Minnelli, RuPaul Charles, and Kathy Najimy in the parade as well as Mayor Giuliani. Only trouble we saw was the parade marshals, trying to keep out the North American Man/Boy Love Association contingent that forced their way uninvited. arrived uninvited.  When the parade was winding sown we went to Central Park and looked at all the Gay Pride memorabilia you could buy. We just bought a couple of buttons. There were hundreds of thousands who like us came from all over the country. There were lots  of drag queens or "dykes from hell" but most Gays wore baseball caps, sneakers and running outfits so different from the east coast preppy clothes from 1987.  We were exhausted from standing for hours in the sun and made our way back to the hotel as Michael’s flight home was at 6.  John Reeves and Jimmy Hamamoto were back by 4:30 so we could get Michael to LaGuardia on time. He’d be back in Salt Lake City by 8 Utah time so he will have plenty of time to rest before going back to work. He really is a small town  boy and hated being here.  We found a corner Pizzeria and had a huge slice of Pizza for a dollar before going back to the Portland to unwind. We have to get up early tomorrow to drive back to Boston so Jimmy can attend his public radio conference that begins tomorrow evening. While we were relating our adventures, Jimmy said he joined with John the smaller parade that was made up of mostly faeries, drag queens, and transsexuals, and other AIDS activists. They called themselves the Stonewall Veteran Association  promoting the true Spirit of Stonewall, and the police let them march up 5^th Avenue without a city permit. That parade was led by a drag queen Sylvia Rivera and had about 5,000 people in the parade. Jimmy said and when they passe St. Patrick’s Cathedral  some of the marchers laid down in the street blowing whistles  and shouting shame, shame, shame. Back at Central Park they ended their march with a moment of Silence  followed by a  scream of rage loud enough to echo through the park.

27 June 1994 Monday

We left early checking out by 7 this morning. John Reeves drove us out of the city but once in Connecticut I drove most of the way into Massachusetts. Jimmy Hamamoto doesn’t drive so he slept for much of the way as did John as I know Jimmy tired him out. Once back in Boston we made it home to John’s apartment and after unpacking our bags we finally was able to relax except in the evening John drove Jimmy to the public radio reception that began the whole week convention.  I watched a little Boston television but was in bed when they returned as I was beat.

28 June 1994 Tuesday

Jimmy went to his convention that last all day and John Reeves showed me around how Boston had changed since I was last back here. The old Combat Zone is completely gone except for the Art Theater and the Pilgrim Theater. John was still worn out from the whirlwind excursion to New York City so I explored downtown by myself after I had him drop me off. I new which line to take to come back to his place. I tried to find the Italian bakery that had such great Italian bread in the North End but couldn’t.

29 June 1994 Wednesday

John Reeves and Jimmy Hamamoto took me to the Logan Airport for my flight home to Salt Lake. Jimmy is staying for another week with John as they are hitting it off rather well. Michael Romero was suppose to meet me at the airport but he wasn’t there so I called home to let him know I was back, At was after 6:30 when I finally was homeand saw that the place was a mess with noneof the dishes in the sink washed. At least Billy Cat acted like he was happy to see me.

30  June 1994 Thursday

Well June is over and a third of my summer vacation. Michael Romero acts like he is punishing me because he didn’t enjoy New York at all. Oh well. I guess I should go into Orchard and start cleaning out Hal Olsen’s mess he left me to go through.