Fall 4th Quarter Journal 1972 October -December

 OCTOBER

1 October 1972 Sunday

I didn’t do anything today but go into work at Nunez Convenient Store at 6 and worked until midnight. I didn’t attend any of my meetings.

2 October 1972 Monday

I we up at 1o this morning but feeling pretty raunchy.  I drove to Fullerton to attend my Pearl of Great Price class because we already had a quiz in it. I ten went to my Hebrew Language class but learned that the text books haven’t come in yet. Afterwards I left and rove over to Cypress College  for a short while to visit with the gang there  and see if I could audit Charlene Felos ceramic class.

            When I came back to Dale Street, I tried to clean up the pace some  but the more I tried to clean it seemed the messier it got. I decided I wanted to paint the front bedroom and make it into kind of a den as I am the only one living at home now.

I went to Standard Brand Paint store and found some paint I liked, and painting  took all night to do it. I didn’t want to go to my film class because I wanted to finish painting the room having moved the beds that were in that room into the back bedrooms.

            I watched the movie “Beguile” which featured Geraldine age and Clint Eastwood, off and on as I painted the den.  then I tried to get some of my writings organized especially the church ones

My sinuses are draining down into my throat.

3 October 1972 Tuesday

Oh, I felt really miserable today. I sneezed and blew my nose so much that its raw and sore. I finally got some of the house in a reasonably looking state. But my eyes watered so much, and I ached so that I couldn’t even get the strength to go to Fullerton University.

Later in the afternoon, I called my sister Donna and she said she gave D.K. Donuts her notice  ad she’ll be quitting soon. I guess she is counting on me getting my loan soon.

 I guess I will be counting on my loan too, since I received a phone call from Ed Jordan about 6 this evening who told me that Raul Nunez had sold the store. Nice of them to let me know. But he said I still have my job, but I will have to get new Hours. I don’t even know who my new boss is yet. I told Ed that I wouldn’t be able to come in tonight because as I looked in the mirror, I saw that I had come down with a rash and I think I might have strep throat.

4 October 1972 Wednesday

I got up today feeling somewhat better but not well enough to go to my classes today. I still break out in a cold sweat though I don’t know whether I still have or even if I did have strep throat.

I returned the paint and stuff I didn’t use back to Standard Brands Paint and got my money back.

Then I went up to Fullerton  and bought my Pearl of Great Price  Text book  and went over to campus to buy my Hebrew Class text book, but they still haven’t come in. I’m afraid I’m going to have to drop that class  because it’s just absurd that there’s no book for a language class.

            I then left and went to Cypress College and saw the Bernstein kids, I went to the library  to do some studying and more of the teachings of Peter were revealed to me. I felt still pretty tired, so I went to the Orange City Theater and saw “Cabaret” and “the Sterile Cuckoo: again. Both were with Liza Minelli who is fantastic. I went to bed  about midnight. I’m thinking seriously about going to Brigham Young University.

5 October 1972 Thursday

This man named John Puente is the new owner of the convenience store that Raul Nunez sold. He renamed the store “Juanito’s Market” but kept almost everything else the same. He had me come in to meet him and see what hours I could work. I asked to have Sunday off, and he was cool about that. I will work mostly Saturday nights and rotate different days. I am making $1.75 an hour now.

6 October 1972 Friday

Today was a pretty nice day. I spent most of the morning fixing things when John Puente called me into work at Juanito’s’ for a while. I only worked form 11 this morning  and till 4 in the afternoon while he had to go to the bank.

When I came home from work, I finished getting everything ready for my dinner party. I made burritos, tacos, enchiladas, and corn strips but not as many people came as I supposed there would be, but it was nice anyway. Kent Larsen, Wendy Weaver, Terry,  and Tom and Jean Johnson were all that could make it of all the kids that  I invited.

‘           We watched some TV, especially “Ghost Story”. They left after a little bit, and I went to bed. I’m feeling a little bit better though not much.     Tom Johnson seems like he’s coming down with something too.

7 October 1972 Saturday

I went into work at Juanito’s Market at 6 and worked until 1 in the morning. Juan Puente the owner goes home when I come in and I work by myself, mostly waiting on customers and stocking the cooler. We close up at 12 on the weekends but I have to stay until 1 to cash out the register, clean up and mop. The rest of the week we close at 10 but I still have to stay an extra hour. It was steady but really not so busy that I couldn’t get my work done.

8 October 1972 Sunday

I got up with  a really bad sore throat. I thought I might have even caught strep since my sister Charline and James had  it last week.

            In the afternoon my sisters Charline and Donna along with the kids came by the house and Dennis worked on my Ford Pinto some. It was just the battery.

            I listened to the last session of Church Conference  and was most impressed by Harold B. Lee’s genealogy.

            In the late afternoon, Wendy Weaver and Terry came over and asked if I wanted to go with them on a picnic. I thought getting out of the house would be a good idea, so I consented to go but we all went to Carol Butner’s house in Silverado Canyon,  and it rained on us. I caught even more of a c

hill by the time I got home. It was a beautiful day. The Silverado Canyon is so pretty. Kent Larsen is kind of tiffed at me because I was feeling so bad, I made a fuss  to go home instead of staying at his house to listen to records.

9 October 1972 Monday

There was no classes today because of it being Columbus Day. Instead, I went to the show by myself and saw “Billy Jack” and “Bless the Beats and Children at the Grove theater. I heard that actress Marian Hopkins died yesterday at age of 72. She was in a lot of movies in the 1930s and 40’s and was in the Children Hour.  Also, Kissinger is in the news holding talks the North Vietnamese.  

10 October 1972 Tuesday

Chuck Berry’s My Ding-A-Ling, Rick Nelson’s Garden Party, Nights in White Satin, Everybody Plays the Fool, Doobie Brother’s Listen to the Music, Bill Wither’s Use Me, Black and White, Popcorn, Michael Jackson’s ben, The Spinners I’ll be Around

Songs I like are the raspberries’ Go All the Way  and Curtis Mayfield’s Freddie’s Dead.

11-12 October

No Entries

13 October 1972 Friday

I woke up about noon and worked most of the afternoon straightening up the house and working on the Gospel of St. Peter. My sister Donna came over this  morning for a while I guess she and her boyfriend Dennis are going up to Tom and Jean Horan’s cabin for the weekend. I’d  like to go up to the mountains  again.

            I got a letter from Dave Gubser today. I was surprised because  I never thought he liked me all that much one way or another to write me. I guess Phyllis Lewis and him are fine and are planning maybe to have a Halloween Party. Sounds like it might be fun.

I went into work at Juanito’s Market and Convenience Store at 8 and about 12:30 after midnight all of a sudden, I see my parking lot filled with Chicano kids and when I looked again, I realized they were beating up a white kid and before I knew it someone through a rock through the front plate glass window shattering it. the kid was pushed against it and the widow cracked completely. The poor kid manages to drag himself into the store and I helped him up to the counter where I laid his head  for, he was bleeding . I immediately called the Garden Grove police and they took what seemed like forever to get there. In the meantime, the Chicano kids had split ad I took the boy into the bathroom and poured peroxide on his head to clean the wound and dress his other cuts. The animals even took a tire chain to him. Even his clothes were ripped out. Finally, the police arrived, and I called John Puente. He came up and stayed until almost 2 cleaning up the glass and blood.

Letter dated 9 October 1972 Hi, Edgar Well what’s going on down there? Haven’t seen you for quite some time! Everyone is back in school now. Summer really went fast. What are you taking this semester? I’m only taking 2 classes, 8 units, a class in general biology and Human Anatomy. Phyllis is taking a biology class at night, so we kind of coach each other.

Say where were you at Disneyland? We waited for you and even left a message for you at the Tragic Kingdom City hall! I can’t say you missed very much. It was fun but 18 hours of “D” is enough to drive anyone bananas!

Phyllis and I were down at Richard’s a few weeks ago for the “party” Too bad you couldn’t be there. It was very, very strange. I passed out, Laura got mad and went home and Phyllis got stoned. Sounds pretty typical doesn’t it!! Called Janet  to talk to her and see how her summer was but after about 2 minutes found there wasn’t all that much to talk about after all. Well Paul was there, maybe that’s the reason.

Phyllis may be having a Halloween Party this year but nothing for sure yet. We thought everyone could meet at her house then go to Bitter End or something!! We’ll let you know for sure later! I’m sending this letter to Dale Street. If you are someplace else now send me your address phone number etc. and all the vital statistics.

 Well not too much more to tell. Glendale is really pretty dull. The only exciting thing that happened was my cousin Jeff joined the Navy; so, Phyllis, he and I celebrated all last week! Hangover Blues!! Well Edgar write soon and let me know what’s going’ on! Be good to yourself!! Dave [Addressed to Edgar H Williams 11562 Dale St. Garden Grove, Calif, 92641 Returned Address Dave 1627 Arbor Dr. Glendale California 91202.]

14 October 1972  Saturday.

When I went into work at Juanito’s Market at 6 this evening. I worked until 1 at night. I just couldn’t help but feel strange and wonder how these Chicano kids I had grown to know could behave in such an animalistic way. What makes man want to spill the blood of another man/ What could have caused such rage in a man to be party f 30 to one. There was no faire=ness at all . thirty kids beating and kicking and cursing one lone person because he was an Anglo.

15 October 1972 Sunday

Well Mom and dad got back today from Texas. They came in about 4:30 this afternoon. My sister Donna came over earlier and I was surprised because I thought she’d still be up in the mountains with her boyfriend Dennis, but they came home early.

It was a beautiful warm day, and I cleaned the house and studied  for my History of Motion Pictures Class. I have a report due there tomorrow. I really have to catch up on my studies because I’ve fallen way behind that with being sick and translating the Gospel of St. Peter during a time called the Festival of Tabernacles. I won’t be able to work on it again until the Festival of Dedication.

I guess Mom and Dad had a real good time in Texas and Grandma and Grandpa Johnson are still going to come out  for the Winter holidays. I guess Grandma Williams had a gall bladder attack  but is fine now. My cousin John Johnson is living with some woman though Grandma Johnson thinks he is married to her. I guess my cousin Kay and her husband Guy Ballard are happy living in Washington DC. I would like to visit some time.

16 October 1972 Monday

I was up at 10 to get ready for school. At noon I had my Pearl of Great Price Class taught by Bro. Barrett. What a fire of a testimony he must have for I truly feel inspired by his teachings. I wonder how he would react if I told him all that I knew about the Gospel of St. Peter?  After class I went over to Cypress College to see the gang since it’s been some time since Ive seen them all, Ironic that I’m drawn back to the Bernstein House Crowd  away from the Othry Hall Dormitory kids.

After  leaving the Bernstein House, I came home and accidently sliced my finger deep in a piece of glass. It bled quite extensively, and mom wanted me to go have it stitched up, but I just put a Band-Aid on it. It’s hard for me to write in this journal and painful to type up my book report for my film class that I missed tonight.

I wonder at what’s ahead for me. Amazing that one can see the scope of eternal progression , present, future, and past  but can’t even know for certain what will happen in six months’ time. Oh, the wonder of free agency. I felt the presence of the L:ord’s spirit  strong again tonight.

17 October 1972 Tuesday

The month of October is sure going quickly. Next Sunday is my niece Denise Elizabeth Wachs first birthday. I remember how the angels did name her Elizabeth and Charline named her Denise after her father.

            I went to my two Institute of Religion classes today Then at 6 I went into work at Juanito’s Market.  I am reading “Joseph Smith and the Restoration” and I find it fascinating.

            I think my mind is deteriorating  as I can’t seem to write or spell as well as I used to could. Words don’t seem to flow right from my pen. I find my thoughts are confused ad I know my heart  does not dwell continually with my Lord because I feel the dark presence of the Prince of Darkness. Oh God save me from perdition. Jesus Help me as O I can’t do it alone. The scrolls, the brass plates that come to me in a vision I can’t hardly comprehend. I can’t be who God wants me to be by myself.

18 October 1972 Wednesday

I was up about 9:30 this morning and went to my Pearl of Great Price class at noon. I them came home and read for the entire afternoon  from “Joseph Smith and the Restoration.” 

            Today I received my rated for my ’71 Pintos car insurance and it will cost me $458 a year to be insured. Mom and Dad’s new car and Dad’s truck don’t hardy together cost half as much as what I am being charged. It’s almost a fourth of what I even paid for my car. Outrageous but what can you do? 

In the evening I went into Miss Felos’ Ceramic class and visited with Tom and Jean Johnson, Wendy Weaver, Terr, and Kent Larsen. I only saw Kent briefly  as he had to leave to go to a meeting over at Cal-State Fullerton . For some reason Terry is made at me and it must be because of Kent, somehow, but I wouldn’t know.

            After class I went over to Tom and Jean’s house on St. Marks where I helped silk screen some school tags for her class. She’s a school art teacher at Pacifica High School.  I stayed over at their house late at night visiting.

            Kent dropped by for a while after he came back from his meeting,  and he told me to stop coming over to his house to talk to his mother. I was kind of offended, but Tom talked to him and calmed him down.

19 October 1972 Thursday

My student loan finally came in today, but the bank has to send it on to the Financial Aid Department  at Cal State Fullerton before I can get it. So, it will be either tomorrow or next Tuesday when I can actually access the money.

            Mom went up to Yucaipa to see how Grandma Williams was feeling. When she returned, she said Grandma says she is all right, but mom said you can tell that she isn’t.

            In the afternoon my sister Dona came over and we visited  for quite a while. I guess she and some of her commune friends are going to move from Anaheim and try to find a place closer to Cypress College and Long Beach.

            In the evening I went to the show and saw “The Godfather” and “Where Does it Hurt?” The Godfather was well done but the violence was unbelievable. There isn’t any excuse for violence to be that profusive and graphic on the screen, artistic or not. We are numb to violence and pornography as it is  and where is it all leading to?

It rained and lightninged pretty hard tonight while I was out.

20 October 1972

I was up about 11 and later, Mom and I went grocery shopping. I guess she’s going to have the family over for a turkey dinner on Sunday for my niece’s first birthday and Grandpa Williams 70’s birthday.

            In the afternoon I called the Financial Aid department at Fullerton, and they said they had my loan, so I drove to campus and picked up my check for $1500 from them. By coincidence  saw Laura Edmonson there and we visited some about our lives and funny I ran into her again at the Southern California First National Bank where I went to open a checking account. I was finally able to pay Richard Ventura the remaining $45 I owned him.

I then went to Great Western Savings and Loan on Stanton near La Palma in Buena Park and deposited $1000 and the $35 refund on my deposit from the University Village since I am not going to live in the dorms.

I then paid off my Arco Gas card for $50, sent $34 to Time-Life Records, $80  to Grandma Williams that I had borrowed, and paid off some smaller bills. I also loaned my sister Donna $200 until her own student loan comes through.

            I went into Juanito’s Market at 6 and worked until 1 in the morning. Not wanting to go straight home afterwards I had an urge to go up to the old Taco Bell on State College to see if any of the friends I had were still working there. Joseph Knight was still working the graveyard shift I stayed  until 3 in the morning keeping him company and finding out the scoop on what all the kids had been up to since I left.

Patty Walls had her baby, a little boy. Cindy is working somewhere else and so is Peggy. Joe said he’ll be quitting soon too. I still can’t understand how I could have stood that job as long as I did. Ridiculous but you do what you have to do,  I finally left an rove back to Garden Grove and went to bed.

21 October 1972 Saturday’

I didn’t get up until 11 this morning . It was a nice warm day outside. My sister Donna sad she found a house  over near John carter’s Market off of Beach and Chapman for $170 a month so if she can , I guess he will be moving her commune there soon.

            I went into Juanito’s Market at 6 and worked gain until1 in the morning. I will get paid next Thursday. I asked John Puente if I could have next Saturday off  for Halloween. I hope I can swing it.

In the news the Supreme Court is ruling on whether adults have the right to view what some are saying are obscene material and on state obscenity laws.

22 October 1972 Sunday

Today was a really nice day. Mom cooked a big Turkey dinner with all the trimmings  and had a party at the house since it’s both my niece Denise and Grandpa Williams’ birthdays.

            Grandma and Grandpa  came down with Aunt Minnie. Aunt Marie brought Stephanie and Gregory, but Uncle Milton had to work. Charlie and Dennis of course were here with the kids. Aunt Bonnie and Uncle Bill Fagan  came but without Larry. Dennis‘s parents Janet and Walt Peevy  came with their son Bruce but not with Tom. Donna also showed up. I also invited Richard Ventura to come join us.

            We had two birthday cakes and dinner was delicious and bountiful . It was good to see Richard again and he was doing fine he said, He’s going to get a Volkswagen and is using his sister Michele’s right now. He said he’s going with Laura Edmunson to go see Roberta Flack in concert which should be great.

            After everyone left by the evening, I just watched some TV and studied.  I did watch “Tale of Two Cities with Ronald Coleman I it for my movie class.

I didn’t attend any of my meetings today because of helping mom cook for the party.  

23 October 1972 Monday

It was Veteran’s Day holiday so there was no school today. Instead, I went over to Tom and Jean Johnson to visit for a little while. I didn’t stay long having little to do.  Kent Larsen has really gone back  completely to his old snarky self and being queer.  If I am not careful, I’ll be drawn backs also. Where is that Kent I knew and loved from Camp Oakes. He’s gone back to his selfish ways.

24 October 1972 Tuesday

I went to Cal State Fullerton to officially drop my Hebrew Language Class and the History of Mexico Class. I had to wait until I had my student loan as that none of my Institute of Religion classes would count as being a full-time student.  I hadn’t actually attended any of those classes since the first week in October and now I am just taking the Tudor-Stuart History class and the History of Movies at Fullerton for a total of 6 units. I am taking 7 units at the institute of religion and my Ceramic Class at Cypress is also 3 units so for me I consider myself still a full-time student. But What a bitter disappointment this semester has turned out to be at Fullerton University. 

When I went over to the Institute, I found out from Sister Neville what was required to go to BYU, and I picked up an application form from her. I’m prayerfully hopeful that I will be accepted there.

            In the afternoon I went over to the Deseret Bookstore and bought a hard bound  “Book of Mormon”, “The Inspired Version of the Bible”, “Profiles of the Presidents” and a birthday book for little  Denise. I spent $25 in all.

            I had to go into work at Juanito’s at 6 and only worked until 11. I get paid this coming Thursday and I hope to get enough money to pay my building fund commitment  and tithing I owe from when I was low on funds.

            It was a hazy day today. In the news everyone keeps talking about a cease fire in Vietnam. I don’t know why people are surprised. Nixon could have done this 4 years ago if he wanted to, but it makes his reelection a sure thing.  

25 October 1972 Wednesday

I attended my Pearl of Great Price Class at noon, and we are discussing the Creation. How I love the Gospel. In the afternoon back in Garden Grove I dropped by Jerry Smith’s house for a while and there I borrowed his college catalog before heading over to Cypress to look in their library for the requirements to attend BYU.

            At home my sister Donna called me and said she could not get that house  near John Carters Market for $179 after all but is still looking around for a place.

            While over at Cypress I went to see Ralph and Brenda Ludders  who said they were just fine. Ralph is thinking about moving to Norco and transferring to U.C. Riverside. He’s almost done with college while I am still muddling through.

When I am done with this semester, I’ll have 98 units counting the LDS ones. I still have a long way  to go to get my bachelor’s  but someday it will all be over  and hopefully it will not have come to naught. They can never take away my education no matter what. I will always have an Associate of Arts degree.

            I went to my Ceramic class tonight and Terry finally seemed to be in a good mood again. I made  I think, a really nice cup in the shape of a banana.

26 October 1972 Thursday

My sister Donna  came over today about 8:30 this morning to get me up because she needed to borrow $125 from my savings account for a deposit on a house she found up at 915 South Nutwood on Nutwood and Ball. I went to my Savings and Loan bank when it opened but they said I wouldn’t be able to withdraw  any money out of my Savings Account  for 7 working days until the check clears so I guess I will have to wait  until at least Saturday.

            I went to Fullerton and attended  my LDS History class and the went over to the campus to the library to study some before heading back to Garden Grove.

            Before going to the house, I stopped by Juanito’s Market and picked up my check and cleared $64.95. I gave it to Donna and with the money the other kids who will be moving in with her at the commune,  she had enough to get the place.

 It started to rain again in the evening  and rather than sit at home I went to the City Cinemas in Orange and saw “Such Good Friends, “Oh Calcutta”,  “Mash” and “the French Connection. I didn’t get out until 12:30 and went straight home and to bed rather than go into Long Beach.

            What is making all the news right now is Henry Kissinger and the Vietnamese Peace Settlement . I don’t understand what we are gaining now that we couldn’t have had 4 years ago and wasting all the lives of our young men.

27 October 1972 Friday

I spent much of the day running around going to thrift stores in Santa Ana  looking for ideas for a costume. While in Santa Ana I came across Nancy Wilton of all people, and I went with her back to her place so we could visit.  I wanted to see how she and Sandy Burns were.  Sandy was sick and may have want I had  a few weeks back. I hope not because it was no fun. She said she hasn’t seen Bob Wimberley and Gary Bassin since they moved from Long Beach. She heard that Bob was directing plays now.

After I left them, I went back over to Garden Grove to the Veteran Thrift Store the and I came across Tom Johnson who was also looking for ideas for a costume. I finally found a flat hat and enough clothes to go as a 1920’s college kid. I still haven’ been able to get a hold of Phyllis Lewis to tell her I’m coming to her party.

            I had to go into work at Juanito’s Market at 8 tonight and worked until 1.

            In the news downtown Stanton at the Railroad tracks that crosses Beach Boulevard they tore down that old depot that was made of bricks that had been there as long as I ever remember.  I guess it was torn down yesterday . I was so mad because it was a landmark.

28 October 1972 Saturday

I spent much of the day waiting in anticipation for Phyllis Lewis’ party tonight. I couldn’t stand it any longer, so I got into my costume and went over to Tom and Jean Johnson’s place to show them. I went as a college kid from the 1920’s with baggy cuffed white trousers, a turn up hat, saddle oxford shoes and a knit sweater vest over my long sleeve shirt. I  did look pretty good. 

            Well, I drove up to Glendale around 6 and went right over to Phyllis’s house. She was glad to see me, and we visited for a while  before she had to get dressed herself. She went as a roller derby queen wearing tights and shorts and a tight top with elbow and knee pads. She really looked good.  Dave Gubser came over about that time dressed as a pimp with a big feather I, his hat.  It was just the three of us  until about 7:30 when Jeff came over. He’s Dave’s cousin  and really handsome.

            Rosie Medina, Gail Carfone, and Richard Ventura were late and didn’t get to Phyllis’s place until nearly 9. Laura Edmunson didn’t come until much later even.

Finally, we all decided to go to the Bitter End West club at  8409 Santa Monica Blvd to go dancing . When we got there however, we found out that no one else but us were wearing costumes. We really didn’t care  that much and went inside anyway.

I didn’t like the club at all. It was a small venue, and the music was so loud it was hurting my ears. Also, I felt like I was on display with my costume.

Rich’s cousins Monte and Tim Ventura met us at the Bitter End West, and it was good to see them again after such a long time since they moved to West Hollywood.

            I was getting more and more anxious and depressed at the club and finally I said to Dave “Let’s go to the car and take off some of this paraphernalia that we didn’t need  Gail walked with us to my Pinto but on the spur of the moment Dave suggested that we go to “Oil Can Harry’s” and see if they were having a  costume party there.

            Gail didn’t want to go and leave the rest,  so it was just Dave and me who went. Oil Can Harrys was just so fabulous,  and the costumes people were wearing were great. After dancing  a little, we felt guilty and went back to the Bitter End West  only to find that the rest of the kids had left. Monte probably found a better party to go to.

So, we drove back to Oil Can Harry’s where caught up with Phyllis Lewis and Laura Edmunson surprisingly although we never did get a hold of the rest of the gang.

            We all were ravenous, so we went to Bob’s Big Boy in Glendale to get a bite to eat before heading back to Oil Ca Harry’s.  We danced to “All Be Around”  “Witchy Woman” , “Fred Is Dead”  Ppa Was  A Rolling Stone” and “Ventura Highways” as well as many more I didn’t know. Dave was buying drinks,  but I just had Shirley Temples and because they knew I was a Mormon now I was the designated driver. We were there at Oil Can Harry’s until the club closed at 4:30 in the morning.

29 October 1972 Sunday

After taking Dave Gubser home after the Oil Can Harry’s closed, drove back down to Garden Grove ad went to bed by 6 in the morning.  I slept until 4 in the afternoon so needless to say I never made it to church.

I had to get up because I promised I’d go over to Frank and Barb Welte to help the kids carver their pumpkins. Barb fixed dinner of hamburgers and I had fun helping them carve their pumpkins, but I left by 7 to go back to Garden Grove because I was still really tired from boogie all night.

30 October 1972 Monday

I woke up by 6 this morning but didn’t get up until 7 to get ready to go to Cypress College where I wanted to be at 8. I had made an appointment to see Mr. Thomas V. Reeve, but I wanted to hang out in the Bernstein House common area to study. In the meanwhile, I sat and chatted with Wendy Weaver for most of the morning.

When Kent Larsen got out of class, he came up to us and started ridiculing the church again and to profane what I have come to hold very sacred. He made me so mad that as he left, I picked up a tomato wedge from my salad I was eating  and threw it smack right at him.

I then left Cypress and went to go see Ralph and Brenda Ludders on Holder Street before seeing Mr. Reeves at his office hours. They were fine and seemed happy to see me.

When I did get to see Bro. Reeve, I asked him if he would send a letter of recommendation to BYU for me and he said he would be glad to do so.  After that we talked  for about an hour about the church.

I know I am too sinful to be granted permission by the Lord to go to BYU, but I pray that He will be merciful.

I withdrew $10 from my Great Western Savings and Loan today for gas money and other items.

I went to my night film class at Fullerton, and we were shown the movie “M” which featured Peter Lorre as a child killer.  In class I am getting to be friends with this one kid I am attracted to, but Devil  take the hindmost for the Lord is my Shepard.

Sally Johnson wrote me a letter dated October 30^th. She wrote the following, “ Dear Edgar, It’s really getting to be winter here. This past week we have had daytime temps of -20 degrees & -6 degrees and that ‘s colder than hell. But today it’s probably in the 40’s and very pleasant . the snow is already starting to melt that fell all morning.

            Yes, I’m still planning to come home for Christmas; more than ever after talking  with Wendy  on the phone  yesterday. It was so good hearing her voice. I guess I miss you all very much even though I’ve made some great new friends here. I guess in this way we’re different. I’m still very much interested in the old gang because I love all  those nuts the way good close friends are loved.

I don’t know if I told you or not but I’m attending the Presbyterian Church in Bozeman. I really enjoy it; the minister is great. I’m even in the choir. How about that! And what more I’m attending a Bible history  course too. Don’t think I’m quite the heathen I thought I was.

I think Fullerton is on the quarter system isn’t it? Anyway MSU is and it’s beginning to get to me. What was nice about the semester system is that classes met every other day, so you had the whole day to do homework on the days class didn’t meet. But on this system classes meet 4 days a week  and I’m forever  getting behind in my homework. It’s really a struggle to keep up. Well so much for my bitching. See you at Xmas Love Sally.  

31 October 1972 Tuesday

I woke up at 9:30 to get ready to go to my LDS History class. There at the Institute we were shown a movie called “In Search of the Lost world” which was about the pre-Columbian inhabitants of the Western Hemisphere.

            Afterwards I went back to Garden Grove where I didn’t really do much but watch TV at home on Dale Street  and read some before having to go in to work at Juanito’s Market at 6 this evening.

Today I paid my building fund commitment to Bishop Larry K Juchau in the 6^th Ward  today.  Withdrew $25 from Great Western which leaves me a balance of a $1000. I also learned that the church has instructed us to vote on yes on Proposition 18 that would curtail pornography and no on Proposition 19 that would legalize marijuana. It’s hard to believe that the elections are so close. Nixon leads in the polls, but I’ll vote for George McGovern. I’m sure God’s will shall be done

            I worked until 11 and closed the place up. John Puente asked to borrow my car for a while, and I was glad it was gone  because of Halloween, and I didn’t want anybody egging it.  We had a few trick or treaters  come up but not that many. I went to bed as soon as I came home from work.           

Additional Memoirs-

In October 1972 I was dealing with loneliness, my emerging homosexuality, and using religious fanaticism to control these homosexual urges  which I believed was the source of all my happiness with myself rather than embracing it as who I am.

            Nunez Convenient store had a magazine rack and display that carried besides mainstream magazines and periodical all types of X-rated adult magazines. The regulation of hiding adult magazines had not occurred and even I was shocked how open they were for anyone to see and peruse. Almost all of them were explicitly heterosexual  and far more graphic then either Playboy or Penthouse.

            I often was looking at them late at night as I worked primarily by myself, not for the females in them but for the male bodies. Frequently when I closed the store late at night, after midnight or 1in the morning, I began to drive into Long Beach not far where I stayed in 1971 and would park and cruise the streets more as a voyeur than anything else; looking  for young navy enlisted men who were out carousing the bars and the adult video arcades.

            I never wrote in my journal about these encounters out walking the streets of Long Beach on Anaheim Street and Ocean Boulevard mainly, because I was too ashamed of myself to record them and also, I was fearful someone might read it and know I was seeking out sex with other men instead of being the best Mormon boy in the world.

            When I was not in Long Beach, I often went to the Cal State Fullerton Campus late in the evening where I discovered that on the second floor of the Fine Arts Building there was a secluded men’s room which was used as a location for college guys to have quick anonymous sex.

I frequented the hall way where the men’s room was down at the end pretending, I was studying, and when I spotted a guy at night going inside, I knew what he was looking for as the building was mainly deserted. 

I had many sexual encounters in the men’s room there mostly seeking to give oral sex to someone. This of course made me extremely guilty afterwards, and I would immediately fall back into a religious fervor to atone for having sex. It was my dark secret.

            In Long Beach I didn’t have the same encounters, as I was mostly seeking the thrill of the chase. I was young, cute, and wore a Navy Pea Coat often to stay warm near the Pacific Ocean but also wearing it also made men who were cruising me into thinking that I was in the service as I was of that age and had fairly short hair.

            Even though I was living at home, Mom and Dad knew I worked at the market often until 1 in the morning, so they were sound asleep and unaware of what time I was coming home, which usually was never after 2 in the morning as I still was trying to attend classes at Cal State Fullerton.

            Sometime in late October, the day I cannot remember  due to never writing about it, I was cruising down by the old Pike amusement park where I encountered this older man, probably in his late 30’s who picked me up off the street. He was slender, tall, masculine, and I was sure I was flattered that he pick me out for sex.

We walked back to his flat which was kind of a flop house and climbed these rickety wooden stairs behind his place to his room. I thought we were just going to have oral sex because that was mostly my experience. However, we strangely visited for a bit, and the only thing I remember him telling me was that he was from Lubbock, Texas of all places, which somehow seemed to make it all right that I was here in his room.

            We then undressed and he had a nice wiry body but instead of having simple fellatio he turned me over and proceeded to penetrate me. He was the first person to ever fuck me since I was an adolescent with Phil Casas probably 9 years before and that was just almost by accident when he was simply laying on me.

            This man used some type of cream and while it was at first rather painful, the connection of his being inside me, and his body weight on me, compensated for any discomfort until eventually I relaxed, and he fucked me until he came inside. I never felt anything so intimate and fulfilling before and yet I believed this act was forbidden, and even criminal. I got dressed and left this man who actually took away by virginity and drove back home to Garden Grove so confused, angry at myself, and yet feeling a part of me justified that I needed that connection which I had with that stranger in the night.  .

 

NOVEMBER

Long Beach in 1972 had hardcore pornographic magazines, books, and movies  for sale in a dozen bookstores and adult arcades where for a quarter you could view pornography for 10 minutes in a private booth, or with just behind a curtain. Often you would see men jacking off and they would wave you in if they saw you looking. I was rather addicted to prowling them because I knew it would be quick and anonymous.

            I often drove around Long Beach late at night after getting off work looking for secluded places where I knew men were seeking sex. I would park my Pinto or side streets and stroll around the Long Beach streets of Anaheim and Ocean where only horny people like me were out after hours.  The bars and cafes were filled with Navy guys often on the street have drunk. When I would pass one, I would often say “looking for action” which was my pick-up line. It’s a wonder I never had the crap beat out of me. More often or not we would find a side alley where  could have oral sex with him.

            Once I don’t remember the date but in November, I noticed these young guys like me on or near the corner of Broadway and Alamitos street standing against a brick store front while these men in cars were cruising up and down the street, slowing when passing by these kids. I though this must be a place to get some “action”, so I went and stood alongside this long-haired youth who was probably around 18 years old wearing hip hugger jeans and love beads. He looked me over and asked how much did I charge these old guys.  I was shocked as I had no idea that these guys were hustling. I thought they were just looking for a sexual encounter. I bewildered replied, “nothing” kind of indignantly while this kid said he charged 20 bucks because he was worth it. I left right after that actually disgusted because I thought at least I wasn’t a whore when in reality I could have been making a lot of money instead of giving it away for free. However, in my disassociated state of mind homosexuality was simply a sin that I was tempted with and did not truly wanted to be associated with. This encounter even more cemented in my young mind that homosexuality was depraved.

1 November 1972 Wednesday

I was  up this morning at 9:30 and read the newspaper some before going to my Pearl of Great Price class at noon with Bro. Bennett teaching the class.  Afterwards I came home, and my checks finally came in the mail. 

In the afternoon I made a mincemeat pie and later went over to my sister Donna’s new house on Nutwood, and it was pretty big like a commune.  I went to my ceramics class up at Cypress early and made three cups that I really liked.

            John Voight  the actor was speaking in the Bernstein House  lounge for George McGovern for President, and I watched and listened for a while. Wendy Warner sure is slimming down. Now If I make up my mind  to do so maybe I could lose some weight too.

While at Cypress I ran across Gary Manshardt  who I hadn’t seen in such a long time. He seemed so happy to see me that I feel so light and wonderful. Could I really be in love again.

When I came back home to garden Grove I watched Hal Holbrook, Martin Sheen, and Hope Lange in “That Certain Summer” which sympathetic towards homosexuals and was pretty good.

            I sure love the song “Clare” by Gilbert O’Sullivan, and it reminds me of my baby niece.

2 November 1972 Thursday

I  woke up at 9:30 and got ready for my classes in Fullerton. I went to my LDS Church history class at the Institute where I gave my book, “Profiles of the Presidents”  to Kerry Herbst for him to give to Bro. Bennett. Then I went over to the Fullerton University campus for my Tudor-Stuart English history class. Well, we have a test in there on November 14. Ugh! I better start studying for it.

            I withdrew $10 from Great Western Savings for some funds until I get paid.            In the evening I went to the City Cinemas and saw “Ryan’s Daughter, “Me Natalie”, “blue Bear”, Cowboys” and “Necromancy.”  I didn’t get home until about 12:30  and I went straight to be. It was a warm pretty day out today.

3 November 1972 Friday

 I went up to Cypress College for most of the day to work on my journal for my History of the Motion Pictures class.  I just wasn’t much in the mood, I guess, as all my writing came out as gibberish and mainly incoherent.

            I saw Wendy Warner and Kent Larsen  for a while and had a bite to eat with them in the student lounge. Wendy sure is slimming down. I guess Kent and his neighbors Tom and Jean Johnson  are going down to their House in Ensenada, Mexico. I sure would like to go also sometime.

            I’m looking at the prospect of finding another job because the one I have now is so boring that I’m just not happy there. I don’t like working by myself. I want to work with people even if the work is much harder and pays less.

            I went into work at Juanito’s Market at 8 and worked until 1 in the morning. While at work when it was slow, I wrote three letters, one to Pamela Husky, one to Dave Gubser, and one to Grandma Johnson.

Oh Lord keep watching over me for I need your strength  and counsel to keep me safe from temptation and perdition.

4 November 1972 Saturday

I went to the Institute of Religion at 8 this morning and stayed until 11:30 just before noon helping in the making of Pizzas to raise money for Institute programs. It was fun . Well, anything is fun if it is in the knowledge of building up the kingdom of God, even if in a small way.

5-6 November 1972

No Entries

7 November 1972 Tuesday

I withdrew $10 from Great Western Savings so I could have some gas money and go grocery shopping.

8 November 1972 Wednesday

I was woken this morning at 8 by the phone ringing. It was Jean Horan who was calling as she thought I had borrowed something  from her, but I didn’t.  I stayed up afterwards and got ready  for class in Fullerton. Before leaving Dale Street, I went across the street to Jean’s house  to visit for a while. She wanted to show me her doll collection and something she bought in Jamaica when they were on a Caribbean cruise.

On the way to school, I was caught in one of those highway patrol cars safety  checks. I have to get the Pinto’s headlights adjusted. Rats! More money and I just spent $5.60 on points and plugs.

            At the Institute of Religion, I went to Bro. Bennett’s class, and we are on the 5^th Chapter to Moses in the Pearl of Great Price.  Bro. Bennett just radiates righteousness so much. I feel unworthy to be in his presence.

            After class I went over to Hartford Street to see Frank and Barb Welte where Frank put in the spark plugs and plugs. I then proceeded to go over to Cypress where I stopped at Taco Bell on Lincoln street  and saw that Jim Gramsted who was still working there. I went inside and visited with him for a while.  He acted so glad to see me. Jim sure is a nice kid  and has grown up since I worked with him last year.  I then went over to Cypress College and glazed some more pots in Charlene Felos Ceramic class. When the rest of the gang came , I made another cup. That’s four I have now. After class I went over to Tom Johnson’s place on St. Marks, and we worked on some Christmas Stuff.

9 November 1972 Thursday

I was paid back $200 from my sister Donna which I deposited into the Great Western Savings and Loans. I now have $1,180  in my account there.  I only went to my Tudor Stuart English History Class  and not to my LDS History class. Br. Thompson bless his heart  and I dearly love him but he’s just not a very good lecturer.

After leaving campus I went to the City Cinema in Orange  and went to the movies. I saw Dr. Zhivago, Skin Game, The Candidate, Everything You wanted to Know About Sex” and Money Talks. The City Cinema is the easier to switch theaters if you go during the day time.

All of the shows were comedies except Dr. Zhivago which I didn’t watch all the way through. Skin Game was a comedy with James Garner in which he plays an owner of a slave. Robert Redford played a politician in The Candidate. Mooney Talks was like Allan Funt’s Candid Camera. Woody Allen adapted from David Reuben's book that I read in 1969. It was the best of all the films I watched.

10 November 1972 Friday

It rained today

11 November 1972 Saturday

I had the transmission fluid in the Ford Pinto changed today. It cost me $13.60. It was terribly windy today and news said about 40 miles per hour

12 November 1972 Sunday

I didn’t wake up until 10 and then still didn’t feel very well. In the afternoon Mom and Dad went over to my Aunt and Uncle, Bonnie, and Bill Fagan to see Grandma Williams. She was down from Yucaipa as she is going into the hospital  tomorrow a gall bladder operation. 

I made some more dough bread figures of vegetables  that I will put on plaques for Grandma Williams . Donna and her boyfriend Dennis came over to borrow Mom’s vacuum cleaner  and I taught them how to make those bread figures and bake them. Donna is living with Dennis over on Nutwood in Anaheim.

I the late afternoon at 4:30  I watched  for my film class “The Hunchback of Notre Dame” on Channel 11.  I wept with Charles Laughton said “Why wast I not made of stone like thee?” It was a very good movie  even if a bit melodramatics. I also watched True Grit that came on Channel 7 with Mom at 9. I first saw that movie in the summer of 1969 with John Cunningham so long ago.

13 November 1972 Monday

I woke up with sinus congestion today. I sneezed and blew my nose almost all day. I went to Cypress College to study some for my Tudor-Stuart mid-term that is tomorrow but didn’t get  much else accomplished. I saw Kent Larsen, Terry, and Wendy Warner in the Bernstein House  today. I glazed  all my cups  this afternoon in Carlene Felos class so I wouldn’t have to do it this Wednesday.

I came back home  about 1 and took a nap  because I am still not feeling  so hot. I got up at 5:30 to get ready for my film class tonight. The movies we watched were two of Alfred Hitchcock’s  early films “The Lodger” and “Sabotage”.

Michael Pells came in during the latter half on the class and afterwards we visited for  a little bit before I went home. I was in bed b 10:30

14 November 1972 Tuesday

I was up at  7 this morning because John Puente wanted me to come open up the store at 8. It was raining when I was up, and it rained steadily until 2 in the afternoon. The rain flooded all the streets and traffic was a mess with cars stalled in intersections.

            I only had to work at Juanito’s Market until 11  and it was really slow, so I studied for my history midterm  for most of the morning. When John and Becky relieved me, I went to Buena Park and took out $5 from Great Western so I could buy some blue books  essay for my tests then  drove on up to Fullerton University where I studied some more. It was cold and rainy  and windy, so my Navy Pea-coat jacket  sure came in handy.

            My midterm was at 1 and lasted until 2. I have no idea how I did on it because the questions were so vague.

            After class I just went home to Garden Grove. Mom and Dad went up to Yucaipa to see Grandma after her gall bladder operation . I guess she didn’t have any trouble  with it .  I did go to Zody’s today and bought some old records that of songs I like, and I looked at their stereos as I need a new one.

            Then I rested before having to go into work at Juanito’s Market again at 6. I worked until 11 tonight.

15 November 1972 Wednesday

I was up this morning at 9 and my sister Donna was over doing her wash. In the afternoon, I took my ten-speed bicycle over to Frank and Barb Welte in Fullerton as I sold it to them for $50 because I need the money and they wanted to buy it for their daughter Barbara Ann’s birthday.

            Afterwards Mom and I went to Knott’s Berry farm to the Virginia Gift Shop because there were some things there, she  wanted me to see.

In the later afternoon I went to the show at the City Cinema in Orange and saw movies for the rest of the evening to get out of the house. I saw “The Other” “Conquest of the Planet of the Apes,” The Unholy Rollers, “the Dirt Gang, “Reefer’s Madness add some Betty Boop cartoons. I also watched some of a Captain Marvel’s film serial. Reefer Madness was a 1936 anti-marijuana film.  The Other was a thriller based on Tom Tryon’s book I read a while ago. None of the Ape sequels are as good as the original but still fun to watch. The Unholy Roller was funny about a girl’s roller derby team. The dumbest one was The Dirt Gang about an outlaw gang on dirt bikes terrorizing a film crew.

It rained some while I was the show and it’s supposed to rain pretty hard tomorrow.

16 November 1972 Thursday

It rained for the better part of the afternoon and even thundered and lightening. I didn’t attend classes today but rather  went shopping  for a good part of the day. I went looking for wooden planks I could use for plaques to attach my bread flour sculptures on, but I couldn’t  find any I liked.  I went to Pick-N-Save  at the Orange County Plaza and bought some things for gifts and also went to Akron where I bought three shirts and two sweaters and also a pair of pants all for just $30. I then went over to Zody’s across the street  and bought a stereo record player for $104. When I was through shopping it started to rain  pretty hard.

            I went home to Dale Street  where Mom helped me assemble by stereo  and I listened to my records for the rest of the day.

            In the evening I went over to Kent Larsen’s on St. Marks  where I visited with Kent and his mother Mrs. Wanda Larsen. He said he was expecting a visit from Bobbie Kemphauser from Camp Oakes, but she called later and said she was too tired to come over, so Kent and I went next door to Tom and Jean Johnsons  for a while.

I left later and came home by 8:30 and read from the Book of Mormon.

17 November 1972

I with drew $350 from Great Western Savings and loan to make a car payment and pay for the Pinto’s insurance.  I only have $825 left.

18 November 1972

No Entry

19 November 1972 Sunday

            I didn’t get up this Sabbath day until noon, so I missed Priesthood and Sunday School. My sister Charline and her kids  were over today while Dennis worked on their car. I’m glad that Dennis Wachs likes to work on cars because Dad is getting to old to do so and I could not care less.

            At 2:30 this afternoon  instead of going to Sacrament, I drove up to Santa Monica Boulevard to see the Los Angeles Temple. I went through the visitor center and stayed to watch  the sun set over the temple which was beautiful. I sat in my Ford Pinto for a while and worked on some Psalms to God.

            When it was dark, I went and parked in front of the Temple and cried to the Lord for forgiveness and understanding. I prayed and cried  in front of the temple  because I’m forbidden to enter holy places  until I’ve been a member for at least a year.

            When I came home about 6:30, Elder Wilkinson came over to the house and asked if I wanted to attend an adult seminar. I jumped at the chance. I was starting to think that the Garden Grove 6^th Ward’s Bishopric had forgotten me but not so.

20 November 1972 Monday

Today is Grandma and Grandpa Johnson’s anniversary which we celebrated their 50^th just a year ago. Seems so much longer than that now.

            I stayed home from school this afternoon so I could work on a book report that is due in Movie and Film Class tonight. After typing it up, I went up the Fullerton to see Richard Ventura . We visited for a while  before he had to leave to go into work at Juanito’s Market.  I stayed and talked to his roommate Doug until it was time for me to go my class on campus. However before going to the university, I first went to the Stationary Store and bought items  to make a book to keep my Psalms in.

            The movie we saw tonight in class was Alexander Nevsky by director Sergei Eisenstein. I couldn’t sit through it all,  so I left cane back to Garden Grove where I watched Robert Redford and Jane Fonda in “Barefoot In the Park.:

I worked on my psalms before going to bed around 1 in the morning.  

21 November 1972 Tuesday

I slept in and missed my LDS History class although I made it to my LDS Contemporary Issues class at the Institute. I also made it to my Tudor-Stuart  Class where we are now discussing the reign of Queen Elizabeth I.

 I saw Rosie Medina briefly while on campus  and I also visited with Janet Walton some to catch up on news of the old dormitory gang.

After class I drove over to my Aunt Marie Williams’ place because Mom wants me to pick up some eggs for her but when I reached there Aunt Marie said not to bother because Mom was coming over anyway. So, I left and came home to Dale Steet and worked some more on some poems I call the “Psalms of Zion”.

I had to go into work at Juanito’s Market at 6 and I worked until closing at 11. It was a pretty busy night because John Puente rearranged the walk-in cooler and I had to help him stack bottles, and cases.

I weigh 183 pounds now having lost 3 on the grapefruit diet  I am on. I hope to lose more, like 200 pounds .

It was a beautiful day out as it was super clear, and you could see snow on all the mountains around us.

On KHJ’s Top Ten songs Johnny Nash’s I can See Clearly Now is number one followed by Helen Ready’s “I Am Woman”, “I’ll Be Around”, Seals and Crofts’ “Summer Breeze”, the Temptations’ “Papa Was a Rolling Stone”, Billy Paul’s “Me and Mrs. Jones”, Harold Melvin and the Blue Notes’ “If You Don’t Know Me by Now”, America’s “Ventura Highway”, and Jim Croce’s “Operator”.   The song I really like is Gilbert O’Sullivan’s “Clair” as it reminds me of my baby niece.

22 November 1972 Wednesday

I had to work at Juanito’s Market tonight at Puente Market from 6 to 11.

23 November 1972 Thursday

It sure didn’t seem like Thanksgiving this year. Mom and Dad went out to a restaurant to eat, and I went over to Donna’s, on Nutwood where she just had a few hippie friends over for dinner. I only stayed until around 5 then decided to drive up to Glendale to see Phyllis Lewis and Dave Gubser.

Phyllis wasn’t home but Dave was at his home at 1627 Arbor Drive. We visited for a long time about some struggles we have. Dave wanted to go to Oil Can Harry’s  at 11502 on Ventura Boulevard in Studio City where we danced from 10 until 1 in the morning. There were mostly guys on the dance floor some without shirts on. It was so much fun being with Dave dancing, but it brings up a lot of feelings I don’t want to feel anymore but it was a very fun night.  Dave was drinking some type of cocktail, but I only had a Shirley Temple. Since it was a long drive home for me and him, we didn’t stay any longer than 1.  I took Dave home and I didn’t get to bed myself until 2 but it was such a fun night.

Dave said that Oil Can Harry's used protected its homosexual patrons during police raids by using a spy hole in the door. Now it isn’t an issue.

Additional Memoirs-

Dave Gubser was living in the dorm at Cal- State Fullerton in the Fall of 1971. He was part of a crowd of kids I became involved with. He and his best friend Phyllis Lewis were from Glendale, California. He left the dorm after he tried to commit suicide which I know now must have been because he was Gay. Phyllis was vivacious and was, what at one time used to be called, a “Fag Hag”. I went with a group of kids with them to Oil Can Harry’s dance club which was a Gay Bar in Studio City. There I danced for the first time with a boy. Dave, I think had a mild crush on me when I came out probably because I was the only openly Gay boy he knew at Fullerton.

24 November 1972 Friday

There was no school after Thanksgiving. I went shopping and mainly ended up buying albums and 45 records for most of the afternoon. Joh Puente called me to come into work at Juanito’s Market early so I worked from 6:30 until 1 in the morning.

25 November 1972 Saturday

I slept in until about 11:30 this morning then got up. Mom and Dad had already left to go Christmas shopping  today. They bought some toys for Janes’ 4^th birthday  this next Friday also. In the afternoon I worked with dad in the garage making a shadow box for Grandma Johnson for her holiday present. It turned out real nice using the old coke bottle crates.  Dad made the box add I filled and arranged the mementos in them . It was one of the few ties we ever worked on a project I wanted to do.

I went into work at Juanito’s Market at 6 and worked until 1 in the morning.

26 November 1972 Sunday

 I was up at 6 this morning to get ready for priesthood meeting in the 6^th Ward at 12160 Valley View Street off of Chapman in Garden Grove. It starts at 7 and last until 8. Afterwards I came back home  for breakfast and then went back to church for Sunday School at 9 until 10:30.  At 10 I had an interview with Bishop Lawrence K Juchau for my application to attend Brigham Young University.  When he asked me what Priesthood I held, I said none and he acted so surprised, and he said almost to himself. “How did we forget about you?’  I think he was kind of chagrined that I had been attending this ward since last June and no one bothered to check on me. At Priesthood when roll call is done and all the priesthood quorums are called, they ask for all other male members, and I always stood.

Bishop Juchau said that I probably should have been given the Aaronic Priesthood after I was baptized last Spring. So, he interviewed  me for the Aaronic Priesthood and answered him so he would find me worthy for the calling of being a  Deacon. I have no idea why it took so long probably because I wasn’t ready although Mormon boys are made Deacons at the age of 12 and I’m 21.

After Sunday school  I came back home to Dale Street  and took a nap until going to Sacrament meeting and after the service I was called to the Bishopric’s office where I was ordained a Deacon by Bro. Olson, I now have the Priesthood of God  to help fight temptation.

            Dad worked on making a shadow box for Grandma Williams which I will fill with photos and mementos.

27 November 1972 Monday

I deposited $20 from my paycheck in to my Great Western account to start saving againI drove to Fullerton University and Cypress College today to order my transcripts to be sent to Brigham Young University. While I was out, I stopped by Ralph Ludder’s place, and we visited for a while.

            In my Pearl of Great Price Class, we talked about the City of Enoch, and I told Bro. Thompson  about my being made a Deacon finally. I also gave the Institute a cannon ball which Kent Larsen had given me who said he found it in the desert  last September  for the Mormon Display . He said he thought it might have been left by the Mormon Battalion.

In the evening I went over to Tom Johnson home on St. Marks, and we made plans for a trip to Tom and Jean Horan’s cabin  for next month. It sounds like it’s going to be so much fun.

            Well tomorrow I’ll send my application off to Brigham Young University  and the Lord will direct whether I am to go to His university or not.

It was very smoggy and hazy out today.

28 November 1972 Tuesday

I went to  school in Fullerton today and it was hazy out. In my LDS History class, we talked about the Jerusalem Fair and how the mayor of Jerusalem addressed his remarks to the Mormon Elders in the audience, saying to them, from old Jerusalem to the ‘New Jerusalem.”

            I then went to my Contemporary Issues class and afterwards over to the University campus for my Tudor-Stuart History class. I received a C on my first exam which I didn’t study much for.  Pretty good  considering I only went to that class a couple of times before taking the exam. I was still disappointed about not getting a better grade.

            I can’t understand why I can’t seem to get as good of grades as I used to unless my study habits  have deteriorated beyond  my comprehension.

            I mailed off my application  to attend Brigham Young University  today.

            Mom went with Jean Horan to their ceramic class today and when I came home from school, I cleaned my bedroom and listed to records before going into work at Juanito’s Market at 6. I worked until 11:00 by myself and then closed up. It was really foggy out when I got off work and driving home you could hardly see the intersections.

            I’m reading some more from Mario Puzo’s The Godfather

29 November 1972 Wednesday

After getting up at 10:30 I read the morning newspaper some. Mom spent most of the morning trying to get rid of the cockroaches that have invaded the kitchen. I don’t know where they came from as they never were found here before this year.

            Since I didn’t have to work today, I went to the show  several times at the City Centre Cinema complex in Orange. I first saw “Straw Dogs”, “Candy” and “The Killing of Sister George” in Cinema 4 and then snuck into Cinema 2 and watched “Bad Company” and “Four Flies on Gray Velvet.”

 I first saw the film Candy with John Cunningham when we were Seniors in High school back in May 1969 and the same with The Killing of Sister George. Candy is pure satire, and The Killing of Sister George is about Lesbians. 

I didn’t really care for Straw Dogs,  but Bad Company was good and about two boys avoiding the draft in the Civil War who fled to the west.  Straw Dogs had Dustin Hoffman in it but was way too violent.  Four Flies on Velvet was an Italian movie that was good.

Last night I had the strangest dream. There was several of us Mormon young people and the space was so small we were in that we all had to sleep  in the same bed and later I am walking to Zion.

The day before I had a nightmare where I was being chased by someone  fearful, and even walls could not keep him out. I interpreted it as Satan pursuing me.

30 November 1972 Thursday

Jerry  Smith  came over this morning about 9:30. He just wanted to visit and see how I was since we had spoken in a while. After he left, I got ready for school and at the Institute I took my midterm  on LDS History. It was rougher than I thought it would be. I didn’t feel like going to my Tudor-Stuart History class, so I went home to Garden Grove instead.

Before leaving Fullerton, I bought my nephew James his birthday present for tomorrow. It was a sturdy plastic palomino horse with its own saddle. It looks just like the one I had when I was a baby in Texas which I gave to Grandma Johnson when we left, and she kept it for me ever since.

At home I listened to some of my records and cleaned up my bedroom and the front room. Dad is painting the middle bedroom so when Grandma and Grandpa Johnson come out for Christmas Vacation it will look nice. I don’t’ know how they will take it with me  joining the Latter-Day Saints Church.

 In the evening  I started to feel really achy like I was coming down with something. Now I’m feverous and have a sore throat. I sure hope it passes because I have no intention of getting sick. I went to bed early.

Additional Memoirs

Long Beach in 1972 had hardcore pornographic magazines, books, and movies  for sale in a dozen bookstores and adult arcades where for a quarter you could view pornography for 10 minutes in a private booth, or with just behind a curtain. Often you would see men jacking off and they would wave you in if they saw you looking. I was rather addicted to prowling them because I knew it would be quick and anonymous.

            I often drove around Long Beach late at night after getting off work looking for secluded places where I knew men were seeking sex. I would park my Pinto or side streets and stroll around the Long Beach streets of Anaheim and Ocean where only horny people like me were out after hours.  The bars and cafes were filled with Navy guys often on the street have drunk. When I would pass one, I would often say “looking for action” which was my pick-up line. It’s a wonder I never had the crap beat out of me. More often or not we would find a side alley where  could have oral sex with him.

Once I don’t remember the date but in November, I noticed these young guys like me on or near the corner of Long Beach Boulevard and 7^th Street Alamitos street standing against a brick store front while these men in cars were cruising up and down the street, slowing when passing by these kids. I though this must be a place to get some “action”, so I went and stood alongside this long-haired youth who was probably around 18 years old wearing hip hugger jeans and love beads. He looked me over and asked how much did I charge these old guys.  I was shocked as I had no idea that these guys were hustling. I thought they were just looking for a sexual encounter. I bewildered replied, “nothing” kind of indignantly while this kid said he charged 20 bucks because he was worth it. I left right after that actually disgusted because I thought at least I wasn’t a whore when in reality I could have been making a lot of money instead of giving it away for free. However, in my disassociated state of mind homosexuality was simply a sin that I was tempted with and did not truly wanted to be associated with. This encounter even more cemented in my young mind that homosexuality was depraved.

Either in Late November or early December a horrible event happened that convinced me that I had to leave California where there was too much temptation for me to sin.  I became even more determined to get into Brigham Young University which I in my naivety believed would keep on the straight and narrow if I was surrounded by the righteous.

One night after getting off work, I drove into Long Beach again prompted by my young urges for sex and not to be alone. I knew of certain men’s rooms in Long Beach parks where late at night sexual liaisons took place. I had gone to several before like Queens Park, Bixby Park, and Lincoln Park so I cannot remember for certain where this occasion to place but I think it was at Bixby Park off of Ocean Boulevard and Juniper street.

It was after 1 in the morning I know that I warily enter the park to the restrooms located somewhat within the park. I found the men’s room all lit up and inside there was this young kid leaning up against the wall near the urinals. He motioned to me, and he was cute, and I almost was tempted to have an encounter when all of a sudden, I got a horrible black feeling that something wasn’t right. That something was wrong, and I noticed a pair of men’s shoes beneath the toilet stall. I couldn’t shake the feeling that I needed to leave now, and I did. I drove back home to Garden Grove forgetting about any escapades for the night.

In the morning while reading the newspaper, I was horrified of the murder of a young guy in Bixby Park found in the men’s room there who’s body had been set on fire. I was so shocked and of course could tell no one that I had been there and probably saw the boy who was murdered and if I hadn’t been prompted to leave immediately, I wonder if I could have been the one murdered that morning.

It frightened me so much that I stopped going into Long Beach at night and when ever I had an uncontrollable urge to have sex with someone, I always went to the Fine Arts Building on the Cal State Fullerton Campus.

As that I was mainly working nights, it was infrequent that I could get away in the evening to be on campus and during the day when I was attending classes, the men’s room was way too busy to have any covert sexual encounters there.

Besides I felt that I have been spared by divine intervention for a greater purpose with the writings that were coming to me. 

 

DECEMBER

1 December 1972 Friday

 I stayed in bed all ay really feeling achy and sore. I slept and read until Mom got off work at 4:30. About 5:30 I made the effort to get up and get dressed so I could go over to Dennis and Charline’s to be there for my nephew James’4^th birthday. I was over there about 7 in the evening and my sister Charline  had some of James’ little friends over for a birthday party.

James had to have a Cowboy birthday cake. Mom and Dad bought him a pair of toy pistols with caps that he was really proud of. He wasn’t overly excited about my gift  because of his other toys but  maybe when he’s older he will realize what it meant to me to give him something I held precious when I was a child.

            My niece Denise was having the time of her little life. She would chew on the balloons to watch them pop. Dennis folks, Janet and Walt Peavy  came over with their sons Bruce and Tom who came with his girlfriend.

Mom and Dad stayed but a shot time as I did because I had to be at work at Juanito’s Market by 8 and I worked until 1 in the morning.

2 December 1972 Saturday

I slept in until 11:30 feeling somewhat better but not a whole lot. I got up anyway because Dad was painting my old middle bedroom and I couldn’t handle the smell. Mom and Dad are re-doing that bedroom completely  now by putting up new curtains and buying a green carpet for the room  Mom is turning it into her sewing room.

            I went over to Tom and Jean Johnson for most of the afternoon to visit and make Christmas cars. But we just didn’t get around to it ‘s tomorrow I will come over there again. Kent was over too  and being a bit obnoxious.

            I sent invitations  out to Phyllis Lewis and Dave Gubser to come to the cabin over Christmas Vacation.  I sure hope they’ll be able to come.

            I went into work at Juanito’s Market at 6 and worked until closing at 1 and I was very feverish by the time I got off work. I’m not feeling very well even right now.  My only strength is in my God and Savior.

3 December 1972 Sunday

I was really sick today. I developed mucus in my chest  and I’m coughing now besides just blowing my nose. I should go to the doctors but am too cheap so have no sympathy. Oh, how I ache.

4 December 1972 Monday

I didn’t go to school today although my chest cold seems to be breaking up some. It has been so cold outside lately at 57 degrees. I took $25 out of my Great Western Savings

5 December 1972 Tuesday

I got up and even though it was a very sharp cold crystal-clear day, I went to my LDS History class and had the results of my mid-term handed back. I received the second highest grade at 103 percent. I was disappointed that I didn’t get the highest. I then went to my Contemporary Church Issues Class, and we discussed the role of blacks and the Priesthood. We came to the conclusion that skin color has nothing to do with not being able to hold the Priesthood but only lineage.

            I didn’t go to my Tudor-Stuart English History class but rather went home to rest before going into work since it was so biting cold out and I wasn’t feeling all that well still, either. I went into work at Juanito’s Market at 6 and worked until 11:00

6 December 1972 Wednesday

I didn’t go to class or anything  but stayed in bed all morning and afternoon, trying to get over this lingering cold. In the evening I did go out and up to Cypress College to my Ceramic Class. Tom Johnson wasn’t there as he was sick as was Wendy Warner. I guess I wasn’t the only one  to catch whatever is going around.

I made a ceramic banana for Phyllis Lewis for Christmas but don’t know it will be fired in the kiln before then. I had two of my cups back that were all right but one of the three had cracked at the base, but I think I can glue that back together.

            I didn’t stay the full time of class because I wanted to watch a special on Television, but it was pre-empted because of the delay of the take-off of Apollo 17, the last of the Pioneer Moon shots. How people have already gotten used to us going to the moon like it’s no big deal is unbelievable. It took us 3000 years to get to the moon and only 3 years to become bored with it.

7 December 1972 Thursday

I slept in today until about noon and the congestion in my lungs is about broken up. My sister Donna came over about 2:30 and returned my notes so I could do my report on the Ecumenical Councils of the 5^th Century and the great falling away for my LDS class.

            About 4 I went over to Richard Ventura’s to use his class schedule so I could register at 5 for the Spring Semester just in case something happens about getting into Brigham Young University.

            In the evening I went over to this LDS family where Elder Wilkerson was giving a fellowship lesson. Afterwards I stayed and talked with the family  until 9 tonight. When I came home, I worked on my report and listened to records some. I’m trying to bring myself up to righteousness to dedicate myself to the Lord. It rained all night long while I was out.

8 December 1972 Friday

I had the strangest dream  last night about John Cunningham . I dreamt that we got together and were asking each other how we were. However, the main thing about the dream was the central theme of going to John and trying to travel up to John ‘s place but because of delays and poor transportation I was always too late. It was a strange  and sad dream. I went into work at Juanito’s Market at 8 tonight and worked until closing at 1:00

9 December 1972 Saturday

I went over to Tom and Jean Johnson’s house on St. Marks for most of the day and worked on making silk screen Christmas cards. They turned out real nice, I think. We made up about 50 of them and Tom and Jean kept half, and I kept the other half.  That took most of the afternoon and afterwards I had to go into work at Juanito’s Market which I did from 6 to 1  in the morning.

I’m going to quit this job after the first of the year . I am so totally bored with it and I’m just stagnating there because I’m not benefiting personally from it one way or another. It’s not like Taco Bell where at least there was a growth process from, working with friends or like up at Camp Oakes where I had personal experience working with children.  Besides there is a lot of temptation at the store working by myself.

10 December 1972 Sunday

I was up at 6 this morning to go to Priesthood but afterwards I just went back home  and slept until it was time to go to Sacrament. I don’t go to Sunday School as I figure I get that at the Fullerton Institute.  After Sacrament I went to the Bishop’s office and  received my Deacon Priesthood Certificate.

In the evening I went over to Tom and Jean Johnson  where Kent Larson was. We talked and fashioned Christmas tree ornaments. Jean’s son Donald was home because Jean’s foster mother had passed away yesterday. She was quite elderly, so Jean said they were expecting it. I didn’t stay long after Kent Left.

11 December 1972 Monday

No Entry

12 December 1972 Tuesday

Me and Mrs. Jones, The Stylistics’ I’m Stone in Love with You, Clair, I Can See Clearly Now, Summer Breeze, Papa Was  a Rolling Stone, Albert Hammond’s It Never Rains in Southern California, I am Woman, Al Green You Ought To be With Me, Curtis Mayfield’s Super Fly

13 December 1972 Wednesday

 I was up at 10 to get ready for school. I went to my Pearl of Great Price Class and afterwards I met with Jerry Smith on campus. He asked me if I would make him a Shadow box to give to his girlfriend Linda Cotter for Christmas. I said I would.

Afterwards I went to Great western and withdrew $15 so I now have $895 in that account. I then drove home  to Garden Grove and cleaned up the front room and kitchen for mom.  I also read some my English History text book  for my test tomorrow,

            In the evening I got dressed in my church clothes to go out with Bro. Ned to do some home teaching. We only went to two homes because we couldn’t catch  the others at home. Br. Ned and I talked for a while, and I really believe he is my brother.

After home teaching, I went over to Tom and Jean Johnson house and Kent was also over there. We worked more on making Christmas balls and we talked some about what is going on in our lives. I don’t discuss anything Mormon with Kent anymore as all we do is argue about it.

14 December 1972 Thursday

I was up at 10 this morning to get ready for school because I had a Tudor-Stuart History exam today. My sister Charline and the kids were over for most of the morning gift wrapping  presents.

As I was going to the University’s bookstore to buy a Blue Book for my exam, I came across Jim Dalton of all people. He stopped me to talk  to him. He asked me how I was and everything. He told me how he was living at the Montclair Apartments and had broken up with Kathy O’Conner yesterday . I really didn’t have much time to visit because I had to get to class to take a test and I really didn’t feel like talking to him anyway. Things have changed and I am trying to put the feelings I had for him in the past.

            In the evening I went over to Br. Lavelle Johnson for a service project for the Elder’s Quorum where we bagged up nuts. I was there from 6:30 until about 9:30 then went over to Kent Larsen’s house for a while. He wasn’t too sociable, so I went on home.

.           It was slightly warm out today about 65 degrees and it was a beautiful day. 

15 December 1972 Friday

Today was the last day of classes at Fullerton University  for the Winter Vacation.

16 December 1972 Saturday

I was up at 99 this morning to help dad build those Shadow boxes for  Jerry Smith and Tom Johnson. It took most of the day sanding and staining  and cutting but I got Tom’s together  and I’’ get  Jerry’s finished soon.  Before going into work at Juanito’s Market at 6.

 I bought some black construction paper  and brought it to at Juanito’s Market to work on when it is slow.  I am making a paper stain glass window  picture like I’ve done before.  It took most of the night  and it wasn’t very eventful.

            I closed the store at 1 and came home and continued working on it until 4:30 en I finally finished it. I am making it as a gift for Jean Johnson

17 December 1972 Sunday

I had hoped to have stayed up all night and gone to Priesthood  in the morning, but I fell asleep. I was so tired that I didn’t make it to church  at all today. I bought some clear adhesive shelving paper to place over the picture, so I finished Jeans picture completely

In the late afternoon I went over to the Larsen’s on St. Marks in Eastgate  where I visited with Mrs. Wanda Larsen until Kent came home with Tom and Jean Johnson.  Then I went next door and watched some TV with them and Kent’s friend Leslie. We watched “Dinner at Eight with both Lionel and John Barrymore, Jean Harlow, and Wallace Berry in it. The at 7 we watch the dancer Rudolf Nureyev in Sleeping Beauty. It was superb.  Kent and Leslie left at 9 but I stayed longer until 11.  At 9 we then watched Portrait”: The Woman I love  about Edward VIII and Mrs. Simpson played by Richard Chamberlain and Fay Dunaway. After the movie I left because I knew that Tom and Jean were pooped.

18 December 1972 Monday

 Today the first day of Winter Recess. I was up at 11 this morning to get some running around done. I went over to Ralph and Brenda Ludders to give them their Christmas gifts and then I went to Great Western in Buena Park and withdrew  $15. Then I had to go to Fullerton to put some money into my checking account there. While at the bank I ran into Richard Ventura and Rosie Medina who were out doing last minute Christmas shopping. We visited and I found out from Richard that Dave Gubser wanted me to come up to Hollywood to go  out dancing  with Phyllis Lewis and him. He said that his cousin Monte, Tim, and he were also going to go and dance at the Bitter End. Since I was go up and see Dave today anyway  to check if he was coming to the mountain party I was planning, which later he said he couldn’t make it, I wasn’t changing my plans any.

            I left Garden Grove  about 4:30 and went up the Golden State Freeway  to Tujunga so I could see John Cunningham, but I didn’t get there because of traffic until after 6:15 and we only visited briefly as that he had to go into work at Juanito’s Market at 6:30. But oh how good it was to see him even for such a brief moment. He wasn’t surprised to see me and acted like he knew I was coming  which I imagine maybe he did as we have some sort of connection. He asked if I was doing well, and I asked the same of him. I could tell he’s not happy with college  for which I don’t blame him as it’s such a long drive from Tujunga to San Fernando Valley State College. He said he might quit after this semester.

I couldn’t find out anymore from him before he had to leave for work, and it still pains me when he leaves me. I stayed for about another half hour  visiting with his brother Andy and his mom Mrs. Cunningham. As that John had told them that I became a Mormon our conversation turned into a debate  about Mormonism, so I broke it off and said my goodbyes. I guess if it’s meant to be, I will see John  again and visit with him longer.

            After leaving Tujunga I drove down to Glendale to meet with Phyllis and Dave . Phyllis wasn’t home so I drove over to Dave’s house  where I drove him and Sheila into Hollywood to go to the dance club Bitter End West at 8409 Santa Monica Boulevard. It cost us each $3 to get in. We stayed there until 1 in the morning dancing and them drinking. It was a strange evening but lots of fun. After taking them home I made good time heading back to Garden Grove and I was in bed by 2:30.

19 December 1972 Tuesday

I slept in until noon them I got dressed to finish wrapping Tom and Jean Johnson’s gifts before bringing them over to them. I stayed at their house on St. Marks Street  until I had to leave to go into work at Juanito’s Market at 6. While there I glazed my banana shaped drinking nugs and I hope Kent Larsen will be able to fire them soon.

At the at Juanito’s Market and Convenient store, I gave John Puente my two week notice  that I will be quitting after the 1st of January as that I hope to go to Brigham Young University, but I haven’t heard a word from them, so I am doubtful about getting in now. I worked until closing up at 1 in the morning.

20 December 1972 Wednesday

I didn’t go to bed this morning until 3 but I got up at 7:30  with the expectation of Grandma and Grandpa Johnson flying in today. I was too tired to go with Mom, my sister Charline and brother-in-law Dennis Wachs with the kids to meet them at the Los Angeles Airport. About 8:30 Jerry Smith  came over to the house to see how I was coming along with making him a shadow box that he wants to give as a gift. I am all finished with it except for nailing in the glass.

            Grandma and Grandpa arrived at the house  at 9:30 and they said they had a good flight out. I only got to visit for a little bit as I had to go into work at Juanito’s Market at noon and worked for John Puente until 5. I guess Grandma and Grandpa went shopping for Christmas gifts for most of the day  and because of the flight were pretty tuckered out and went to bed early.

            After work I went over to Eastgate to visit with Tom and Jean Johnson, but they were having company over so as not to intrude I went next door to Kent Larsen’s house and visited some with Mrs. Larsen. When Kent came home, he gave me his Christmas gift . It was a beautiful pot he had made with a white fern  in it.

            However, I must have been in a foul mood as that I needled Kent  for most of the evening for not attending Church. I knew Kent was getting aggravated with me, so I left to go back over to see Tom and Jean after their company left just to say hi and goodbye.

            When I came back home , everybody was in bed already, so I went to my room  and read some from the Book of Mormon.

21 December 1972 Thursday

I spent some time with Grandma and Grandpa Johnson before having to go into work at Juanito’s Market at noon. John Puente had me working just until 5 and I spent a lot of time in the cooler stocking beer and drinks.

            Mom and Dad took Grandma and Grandpa out for dinner and down to Huntington Beach to the pier. Grandma loves looking at the ocean.

I went with Jerry Smith to go see Man of La Mancha at the Orange Cinedome 20 off of Chapman at 8. It was pretty good with Peter O’Toole and Sophia Loren, but I liked the album and play much better.

22 December 1972 Friday

Today is James Dale Dalton’s birthday and he’s 26 years old now although I don’t think of him much anymore. It all seems so long ago when I thought I couldn’t live without his association. When I got up and dressed at 11, I saw that everyone had gone out. I guess they went shopping again.

            Jerry Smith came over to pick up his shadow box since dad finished cutting the little wooden strips to hold the glass in place last night while I was at the show. He said he really liked it, so I was glad.

My sister Charline and the kids were over for most of the day.

            I didn’t do much in the afternoon  except going over to see Tom and Jean Johnson, but they weren’t home, so I went over to see my sister Donna at her place on Nutwood, but she wasn’t home either.

            I’ve been so bored lately. This evening I told Grandpa that I wasn’t a Campbellite anymore  but had joined the Latter Days Saints. I think he understood my decision even if he did not agree with me. I don’t know if I will ever tell Grandma.

23 December 1972 Saturday

My sister Charline, my brother-in-law Dennis ad the kids were over for most of the late afternoon to visit with Grandma and Grandpa Johnson. We decided to open our Christmas packages from one another today instead of waiting. I got a shirt  from Mom and Dad and a pull-over sweater from my sister Donna. Grandma Johnson gave me $20 rather than try to buy me something and my uncle and aunt J.W. and Pauline Johnson gave me $5. Charline and Dennis  bought me an  Mormon Tabernacle Choir album.

            I had to go into work at Juanito’s Market at 6 and I worked until closing at 1. The Mexicans in the barrio across the street  were having a party  so I sold a lot of beer and stuff and was quite busy all night. Ralph Ludders and Brenda came by the store about 10 tonight and we exchanged Christmas gifts.

            I think I am coming down with something as I was not feeling well when I closed up.

In the news a disastrous earthquake hit the city of Managua in Nicaragua  killing at least 6,000 people, while totally destroying the city. It is now believed the city of 300,000 won’t be built on the same  site.

            President Harry S. Truman  is near death, and they say he won’t live much longer.

24 December 1972 Sunday

Today is my aunt Minnie Lee Williams 43rd birthday. I was up and dressed by 6 this morning to make it to my Priesthood Meeting but as I was getting dressed, I was so sick to my stomach that I vomited  4 times. I managed to attend  but when Priesthood was over at 8, I was still not feeling well. I had to take Grandma and Grandpa Johnson to the Church of Christ in Brea at 10:30 and when it was over at noon Grandma Johnson said she was sick too and even Grandpa said he was feeling poorly.

            Rich Ventura called about 2:30 in the afternoon and asked me to take him to the Disneyland Hotel where he could catch a shuttle bus to the Los Angeles Airport so he could fly home to Fresno for Christmas.

            Back at the house I went to bed, but Mom and Dad went over to my cousin Francis Ann Griess’ house in Huntington Beach  where the Williams family was having Christmas Eve. Grandma and Grandpa Johnson and I were feeling too weak and sick to attend. I went to bed early only going out.

25 December 1972 Monday

It’s Christmas Day and I got up at 9 this morning feeling much better. Mom and Dad had gotten sick over the holiday and Grandma and Grandpa were both still weak  also.

            I went over to my sister Donna’s place on Nutwood to see how she liked what I got her for Christmas. In the afternoon since the rest of the family was sick, I made Christmas dinner for everyone, and Donna came over to eat with us as her boyfriend Dennis went to spend time with his folks. There wasn’t a whole lot eaten because of the stomach flu had voided us of an appetite. I kept expecting my boss John Puente to call me into work, at Juanito’s Market but he never did so maybe he closed the store today.

As Grandpa Johnson was feeling better than the others, I drove him down to the Huntington Beach pier so we could watched the big waves come to shore. It was quite windy, so the foam and spray was spectacular. When the wind would hit the breakers, rainbows were created and filled the air. It was just beautiful.

26 December 1972 Tuesday

            Today is Richard Ventura’s birthday so I hope he got the card I sent him in Fresno. I received my acceptance to Brigham Young University today, but I’ve run into a small problem because the Y is in a quarter system and starts on January 8th while Fullerton‘s semester doesn’t end until about the 20th. It will all work out, I guess.

            I went to the Alpha Beta store in the Stanton Plaza  and spent $16 on food items to take up with us to the mountains. We plan on being up there  days and 3 nights. I made up a huge batch of burritos fillings of hamburger, refired beans, green chiles, and onions  before having to go into work at 6 this evening. I worked at Juanito’s Market and  Convenience store until 11. Afterwards I went over to Tom and Jean Johnson house on St. Marks in East gate  and stayed until midnight. They gave me a replica of a Mayan figurine  for a Christmas present. I just love it.

            I came home then and went to bed by 12:30 with great expectations for the rest of the week.

            In the news former President Harry S. Truman  finally died today.

27 December 1972 Wednesday

Today is Michelle Ventura’s birthday. I was up at 7 this morning to pack the Ford Pinto and get as much as possible together before the gang arrived to the house. I called Laura Edmunson one more time to try and get a hold of her,  but I couldn’t. Tom and Jean Johnson didn’t get over to Dale Street  until 9:30 and Leslie Hall up with them and Mary Reed while Kent Larsen rode up with me.

            We arrived in Running Springs about noon and there was very little snow  there, not even enough to build a snow man.

            At the cabin, we unloaded the cars and fixed us some lunch from the burrito and chili fixings I brought.

            In the afternoon , Tom, Mary, and I went for a short hike  up to the general store at Deer Lick as it was warm out. As it was starting to cloud up, we went back to the cabin where for the rest of the evening we played cards and dictionary games.

            I went to bed about 9 as I was so tired  but when Kent and Leslie came upstairs , I got up and joined them in talking way into the night. It had turned cold before going back to bed probably freezing.

            It was a pretty fun day all in all. President Truman’s death Is all that is in the news.

28 December 1972 Thursday

I woke up at  about 9:30 and heard Tom and Jean Johnson stirring down stairs  talking with Mary Reed and Leslie Hall. So, I got dressed and came down stairs shortly afterwards to join them. Kent Larsen got up about the same time I did.

            It was a cold crisp  morning  here in Running Springs and everything was covered completely with snow that must have fallen over night. Four inches or more must have accumulated and it looked so beautiful.

            As we staked visiting, we wondered if the roads out were opened  because we came up without tire chains. So, we walked to  the gas station and saw that the roads  were opened just icy. Another storm was coming in fast, and we felt that rather be caught up here without tire chains it would be wisest to pack up and head back down the mountain home. So that is what we did. We packed up everything we brought and left around 12:30 in the afternoon. As we drove down  the hill, nearly 2 inches or more of snow began to fall  but we had no trouble getting down City Creek Road into the valley.

Kent and Leslie rode in the Pinto  and we stopped in Redlands  to get a bite to eat then drove on into Riverside where we stopped to look around the historic Mission Inn there. We didn’t get back to Tom and Jean’s house until 4:30 where I let out Kent and Leslie. So, all our plans for a vacation in  the cabin at  Arrowbear sure went down the drain fast.

            Since I was going to home now instead of up in the mountains, I called John Puente and said I was available to work for the next couple of days.

29 December 1972 Friday

 I was up at 8 this morning because my boss John Puente called and asked me to come into work at Juanito’s Market at 9 which I did. I only worked until 1:45 . After getting off work I came right home but Grandma and Grandpa were gone out with Mom and Dad  to the Lion Safari  down in San Diego.

Since I was kind of tired, I took a nap back in my bed and slept there until 6:30  when I got dressed to drive up to Glendale to see Phyllis Lewis and Dave Gubser but neither one of them was home. So rather than have it be a wasted trip  I drove up to Tujunga to see if John Cunningham was home. His mom said he was at work,  but he’d be home  by 11:00, so I went to a show to wait for him, and I saw Steven McQueen movie called Bullitt until then.

When it was after 11, I drove back over to his house and John invited me in. I couldn’t tell whether he was happy to see me or not as he was tired from work. John and I visited until 2 in the morning. He said he’s quitting college for sure now and may drop out all together as he is contemplating about going into the armed service. Maybe it is the best solution for him as he seems so lost and directionless. I cannot say.

When it was time to say goodbye for me to drive home to Garden Grove, I knew in my heart that I’d truly never see John’s face again until we meet in the other side of the veil. He shook my hand although all I really wanted to do was hold him, but I knew that was impossible.

            Oh, praise the God of ages. John F. Cunningham  the only one I truly loved.

30 December 1972 Saturday

I was up at 8 this morning to see Grandma and Grandpa Johnson off. They had to be at the airport  at 10 and they would get home to Texas at 1:00. They didn’t stay  very long but then they never do.

            I went back to bed after they left and slept until the afternoon before getting up again. I didn’t do much today except  listen to the radio  as the played all the hits from 1971. I had to go into work at Juanito’s Market and convenient store on Chapman at 6 and I worked alone until closing at 1 in the morning.

31 December 1972 Sunday

I slept in until 12:30 then I got dressed to get ready to go to tithing settlement with Bishop Lawrence K Juchau at 1:30. I paid $95 to the church. The rest of the afternoon I visited with Mom and Dad about going off to Brigham Young University. It is fast becoming a reality

            I had to go into work at Juanito’s Market at 6 this evening so it seemed so much more like a Saturday. It was a very busy  night since it was New Year’s Eve. I’m constantly amazed  how the Gentiles celebrate their New Year. I worked until 2 in the morning and my boss John Puente said  he would have my paycheck  for me in by tomorrow, 

            I think I was visited by a Nephite Apostle  tonight and I was not found wanting.

How to sum up the thoughts in this book  about this past year. I feel like there’s a break coming between the old me and the new me. God will keep me safe in the coming days.

My only regret  is that I still am without love. How empty is that feeling