Winter 1st Quarter Journal 1976 January-March

 

JOURNAL 1976

January 1976

1 January 1976 Thursday

This morning I was woken by a phone call from Carol Clendenin, a girl I home teach. She was sick and asked if I would come over to give her a Priesthood Blessing. I said I would. It was the first time I’ve used my Melchizedek Priesthood since I was made an Elder last month. The experience made me realize how important it is for me to remain worthy at all times so that I might be able to bless someone with the Priesthood.

            For most of this New Year’s Day I finished cleaning the apartment before all my roommates return from the Christmas break.  It’s been a mess over the holidays since I’d been working full time. Yesterday was my last day of work as a custodian in the Ernest L Wilkinson Center at BYU. I heard that minimum wage for 1976 is going up to $2.30 an hour now that I’m not working.

            I finished typing up Dad’s life story also so I almost have all the family’s histories complete.

            In the evening Keith Valentine, who stayed with me over last Thanksgiving, flew into Salt Lake City to be with Meg and Steve Madsen before he enters the Mission Home this Saturday. He’s staying with me until he does.

            It snowed lightly today with a lot of snow still on the ground. It was only 23 degrees today so besides going over to Carol's I stayed home today.

ADDITIONAL MATERIAL

I was living at 45 South (00 East in apartment 2 in Provo, Utah enrolled at BYU my roommates with who I shared the apartment were Michael John Allred and Terry Haack  who was a freshman and I really didn't know or like very much as he was  self centered. I was still in love with Mike but didn't dare anything more than be good friends as we had lived together off and on since 1973. Mike   was still semi-attached to Mardene Francis  but I could tell he was trying to break it off with her as I had Linda Prindle. 

 

2 January 1976 Friday

I went up on campus today and copied the Williams-Danforth family histories for my sisters Charline Wachs and Donna Jones. It cost me about $6 all together.  I also opened a checking account at Commercial Security Bank. I deposited $20 in it.

            In the evening I went to the University Mall to see Walt Disney’s Snow White. It was really good. Disney sure had a way with making fantasy films.

            I was expecting some of my roommates to come in today but none did. I called the Provo Temple to see what they would do about the names I sent them. They said if I wanted to hold up my great grandparents’ names, so I could do them, I’d have to withdraw all the names until April. I don’t want to do that but also I would like to do the temple work for my great grandparents. I guess I am being selfish but no matter. I’ll still process the work whether I can do the endowments or not.

            It was very cold today; only 20 degrees. 

3 January 1976 Saturday

This morning Keith Valentine left to enter the Mission Home up in Salt Lake. In the afternoon I went up on Campus to run in the Smithfield House. I only ran a half a mile. I hate running. But I am so out of shape. Other than that I didn’t accomplish much today.

Mike Allred came in from Wyoming today after 3:30 in the afternoon. It was good to have Mike back home and to have someone to talk to again. My other roommates haven’t showed up yet.  More and more kids are returning back to the Y from Christmas Vacation. The town was almost deserted over the break. It doesn’t feel like I had any vacation at all since I worked over the holidays instead of going home.

It snowed a little today but not very much. There’s still plenty of snow of the ground. I don’t like the number one song for the week "Saturday Night" by the Bay City Rollers. The only songs in the top ten I do like is K.C. and the Sunshine Band’s "That’s the way I Like It" and "Fly Robin Fly" by the Silver Convention.  

4 January 1976 Sunday

Mike Allred and I went to Priesthood together at 10 this morning. They announced the changes for the meeting schedule for the winter semester. Priesthood will be at 9. Sunday school will be at 10:15 and Sacrament will now be at 4 in the afternoon.

            During Priesthood, President Paul H. Thompson called Mike Allred, three other guys, and me out of the meeting to discuss home teaching this semester. He wanted our advice and opinions on how to achieve more effective Home Teaching this term.

            After Priesthood, I went to Sunday school where I taught my Genealogy Class or Family Exaltation as its called now. I just had the class have a discussion on developing a better format for the class.

            Today was Fast and Testimony Meeting but I had to leave to go to the J Reuben Clark Law Building to be interviewed so I could do baptism work for the dead. I also talked to President Thompson about what the folks at the temple said about holding up the endowment ordinances for my great grandparents. He said that I might be able to have my own endowments taken out so I could do the work for them.

            My two other roommates still haven’t come in yet so Mike and I are still waiting. School starts up again tomorrow.

            Mike is reading the Hobbit now. I read it 2 years ago.  

5 January 1976 Monday

Today is the first day of the Winter Term at BYU. My student loan still has not come in but I paid my January rent this morning out of the money I made working over the Christmas Break.

            I also got a new job on campus working special events with the admission staff. It won’t be a lot of hours but it will be some money coming in while I do my student teaching this term. 

            I had to register late and I figure it will cost me $410 to attend school this semester with my late fees and graduate fees.  I had to attend two meetings for my student teaching class but I think I have everything taken care of. I hope.

            It snowed pretty heavily all day.  

6 January 1976 Tuesday

Terry Haake’s folks called our apartment manager Meg Madsen today and told her that he was in an accident while at home in New Mexico over the holidays. He totaled out his Porsche and was put in the hospital for a while. I don’t know whether he’s coming back to the Y or not.

            Stuart Smith came in today. He was late because he didn’t think that school started back up until today.

            It was my first day at Lakeridge Junior High in Orem. We were supposed to have met with Mr. Baugh the Principal. I was up at 6 this morning so I could be early but as I was on my way at 7:45 I ran out of gas! I had to run back to the apartment and pull Mike Allred out of bed to help me get some gas. I was only about 5 minutes late but still I didn’t like making a bad impression on my first day.

            It had snowed last night and there was a lot of snow on the roads so I had to be extremely careful driving out there in the Pinto.

            After meeting with Mr. Baugh I met with Mr. Max Prestwich the Social Studies teacher I will be working with. I think he is kind of glad to have me working with him as I was the only one in the program that was requested by a teacher.

Additional Material

Max Kay Prestwich was 40 years old when I began my student teaching under his mentoring. He was born in Orem, Utah, on January 16, 1935, to Merlin Eugene and Frances Grace Jacobsen Prestwich.  He graduated from Lincoln High School, in Orem and from Brigham Young University. He taught history and geography for 27 years at Lincoln and Lakeridge Junior High, in Orem. He died December 2, 2017 

7 January 1976 Wednesday

My loan still hasn’t come in yet and I am really getting scared. The 16^th of this month is the last day to pay late fees so I went to the financial Aids department and tried to get a short term loan. They said I qualified but needed a co-signer, so I sent a letter special delivery to Mom and Dad in California for them to co-sign for the loan.

            In Education 476 the instructors tried to explain some what about what is going on with the new program they are piloting. I doubt seriously that they even know and are making it up as they go. So far it seems like we have a list of objectives that we have to complete before we can actually start our classroom student teaching which wouldn’t be until February.

            I guess Mr. Prestwich is concerned about this new program because he doesn’t feel that I can be of any use to him until the school gives him a definite schedule. But the way this program is set up, there is no way I could tell him exactly when I’ll begin my student teaching.  The class has a service trip out to Grantsville in January where we will take over running the school.

            I really like my Classroom management class taught by Bro. Holder. It should be a good experience.

            It was really cold today only about 30 degrees. 

8 January 1976 Thursday

I met with my Education 476 class again for our inductive lesson. It lasted until noon.  The instructor for my Self Concept and Adolescent Growth Class never showed tonight so I went to my Health Class early instead. I met this girl named Bonnie Stone who is also in my Classroom management class. She is so nice and easy to talk to that I really enjoy being with her. In my health class I am not sure that I’m going to get in because it’s really crowded. Bro. Coon said he’d let us know next week whether we could get in or not.

            It’s been three years ago today that I first came to BYU and moved into Helaman Hall. It just doesn’t seem that long ago that I made that commitment to the Lord to go to Utah.  How infinite His wisdom. I have some real problems that I am struggling with right now. If I don’t overcome them I don’t feel like I’d be of any personal worth t the Lord.

Additional Material

Salt Lake Tribune’s Executive Editor held an opinion that “Two women who had applied for a marriage license in Salt Lake County probably should have been issued one, according to Utah law.  Utah statute does not specifically prohibit marriage between members of the same sex, a spokesman in the Salt Lake County Attorney office said Wednesday. The women were referred to the county attorney Tuesday when they attempted to obtain a license. However they didn’t go to that office. 

9 January 1976 Friday

My student loan still hasn’t come today. I’m getting low on funds. I haven’t bought groceries in 2 weeks because of no money and have about eaten up everything up.

            This morning in my Education 476 class for a seminar team building activity we went outside to the Quad area in front of the McKay Building where we had a snow sculpture contest. Our side built a Snoopy on his dog house while the other side built a giant toilet. I thought it was great. We also had a tug of war contest which we won. I had the dubious distinction of being the anchor man.

            After playing in the snow, I was soaked to the bone. We came back inside for donuts and hot chocolate. I still couldn’t get warm so I went to the Richards P.E. building where I sat in the sauna for an hour. Boy that did the trick and I finally felt warm and toasty.

            This evening I took Kris Arnold to the Varsity Theater where we saw “My Fair Lady”. I really like that movie but being with Kris I realized that while we had a good time, we could be nothing but friends.  

            I wonder where John Cunningham is on his 25^th birthday?

 

10 January 1976 Saturday

Terry Haake came back to Provo today. His folks brought him up from New Mexico. He’s still the same obnoxious kid but who am I to judge anyone’s character?

I am really struggling to keep the Gift of the Holy Ghost with me.  To be more truthful I’m trying to get the Holy Ghost back. I’ve lost His spirit and I feel empty, confused, hallow, bitter and unworthy.  I’m not really willing to commit myself totally to the Lord. I won’t have His sweet spirit and Grace to be with me until I do.

I know the Gospel is true. There is no doubt in my heart but where do I draw from the well of integrity and conviction to make me want to serve no one but the Master and not my own carnal desires.

I need to make prayer more meaningful and be more grateful for the tender mercies and bounteous goodness of the most gracious and high God. But this is such a trying time. Will I be trampled under, like Salt which has lost its savor? Shall I be a foolish virgin with no oil in my lamp to light the way for the Bride Groom when He comes? When will these feelings go away? What more can I do? 

11 January 1976 Sunday

I went to Priesthood at our new time at 9 this morning. LaMar Parkin gave a family exaltation lesson to the Priesthood quorum. He also called me to be the chairman of the Genealogical Committee of the Branch. I now hold 4 church positions. I guess the Lord thinks the way to keep me out of trouble is by keeping me busy.

            In Sunday School, I taught a lesson on how to do research in Scotland. I think it went well.  Sacrament Meeting was devoted to the Solemn Assembly called by the Lord last month. The last Solemn Assembly was way back when George Albert Smith was Church President. President Kimball, the Prophet, said that filthiness is coming like a flood upon the earth and if we don’t prepare for its coming we shall be swept away.

            This evening I was called upon to conduct our Fireside. It was the first time I had ever been called upon to conduct anything and I’ve been a member for nearly 3 and half years. Bro. Flick from the BYU Genealogy Branch Library spoke to us about keeping our Books of Remembrance sacred.  

12 January 1976 Monday

This morning we had a lesson on how to use “Recall Questions”, Cognitive Questions and Evaluative Questions in my Education 476 class. We were told to prepare to play a simulation game this Friday about being on a School Board. Everyone is having a cow over it.

Family Home evening was at the Seville Apartments this evening where Kathy Bird gave the lesson. She played a cassette tape of a talk given by Paul H. Dunn. It seems like ages ago I went to Salt Lake to meet with him over those writings.

            My loan finally came in today. It was for $989 which is barely enough to get by on after paying $410 in tuition and setting aside another $180 for Spring tuition. I also have to pay $220 of that for rent until May. I figured that if I spend $40 a month on food I will have $6 a month left over for gas for the Pinto and anything else. I am just going to have to find work in April, there’s no two ways about it. KSL reported that the yearly Inflation Rate in the United States is at 75%. Ugh. It’s hard to find a gallon of Gas cheaper than 60 cents. 

            In the news Agatha Christie the mystery writer died at the age of 85. I haven’t read any of her books but seen a few movies adapted from her stories.  

13 January 1976 Tuesday

This morning I drove out to Lakeridge Junior High in Orem to observe and assist Mr. Prestwich in his classroom. I didn’t really do a whole lot during his first and second periods when he taught Geography.  However during his 3^rd, 5th periods, and 6^th periods when he teaches United States History I helped him administer a test.  I had to monitor his classes for silence during the test and I think I handled the discipline problems pretty well. If a student would slip and begin to talk, I’d walk down his aisle. If he continued taking, I’d tell him in a whisper that talking was not appropriate at this time. It worked every time I felt good and confident in being in the classroom situation today.

            Mr. Prestwich is a traditional teacher and I like him very much. He scared Kathy Nielsen, the girl from my class that came with me, pretty badly today during our lunch period by his gruffness. I think he likes me because I see through all that because he’s really a very sensitive and gentle man.  I am really looking forward to teaching in his class. 

14 January 1976 Wednesday

I received a letter in the mail from mom saying Grandma Williams was in the hospital after having a mild heart attack. Grandma has had heart trouble for some time. I am really upset by the news. I forget how time is fleeting and that Grandma and Grandpa Williams and Johnsons are both getting older each passing year. Grandma Williams will be 74 in March, Grandma Johnson will be 77 in June, Grandpa Johnson 75 in September, and Grandpa Williams 74 in October. I am so fortunate to have all my grandparents alive and to have known them so well. It is going to be a terrible strain when they start passing on. But since I am LDS it won’t be as traumatic as for the rest of the family. At least I can understand their passing in the perspective of the Plan of Salvation.

            Today is my nephew Michael Louis Wach’s 1^st birthday. 

It was a bit warmer today about 36 degrees with only 2 inches of snow of the ground.

Additional Material

The Imperial Court of  Utah held their first Coronation at Mac Hunt’s Rusty Bell located on Redwood Road in Salt Lake City. Deanna was crowned Empress and Pepper Presentte was chosen Emperor I. Other members of the first court were Princess Royal Terry, Prince Royale Chad, Czarina Gordi [Gordon Winklekotter], Czar Larry, Grande Duchess, Jay, Grande Duke, Ron.  The 1^st Reign was called The Salt and Pepper Court. Pepper Emperor 1 had the title of The Spice of the Spike, The Genesis Emperor. Deanna had the title The Origin of the Spike Deanna.  

15 January 1976 Thursday

I completed objective G-250 by learning how to make a thermal fax copy, make a transparency, and use the ditto machine for my Education 476 class.

            It was quite cold out this morning but it soon warmed up to about 40 degrees. I bought a get well card for Grandma Williams and mailed it to her to let her know I am thinking of her. I finally did my washing up today. I hadn’t had the money to do my laundry but I had exactly nothing to wear to school so even though I didn’t have any time in which to do it, I made time.

            Little Hillarie Madsen’s birthday was today. She turned three years old so Steve and Meg invited me over for cake and ice-cream

            I went back up to school at 4 in the afternoon for my 376 R class on Self Concept. I think I’m really going to enjoy this class and put some of its principles into practice.

            I asked Bonnie Stone out on a date for tomorrow but she said she already had a date. Too bad. I’m really attracted to her and hope to get to know her better this semester.

            Right after class I ran to my secondary education Health Class. I was able to get in after all and I really like Bro. Coon’s style of teaching. In the evening I went Home Teaching with Lee Russell, the 2^nd Counselor in the Elder Quorums Presidency. We visited and visited with Carol Clendenin, Shirley Olsen, and Lou Anne Eaton.

In the news Sara Jane Moore, who tried to assassinate President Ford last September was sentenced to life in prison.

 

16 January 1976 Friday

I dreaded this morning so bad because of the Simulation Game is due today but surprisingly it went off well. I think on Monday I will actually start student teaching at Lakeridge.

            I talked with this girl named Jan Morgan from my Education 476 class. She is from South Carolina and seems like a very intelligent girl with a sweet personality

            I was in class from 8:30 until 11:30 this morning before I was able to go back to the apartment. I finally was able to clean the front room and kitchen up. I mopped the kitchen floor and boy did it need it. Mike Allred is working now as a custodian at the Morris Center in Deseret Towers. He works from 5 until 8 in the evening. We hardly speak to each other anymore. I’m trying my Positive Self Concept techniques I am learning on him. I am saying nothing but uplifting positive things to him even when he’s being negative to me.

           I didn’t have a date for tonight. I wanted to see a free showing of “The African Queen” on campus that had Katherine Hepburn and Humphrey Bogart in it as I have never seen it. Instead I stayed home.  I am doing a lot of things by myself. It’s even more lonely living with Mike Allred knowing how we used to be and he doesn’t hard talk to me anymore.

            I haven’t heard anymore about Grandma Williams’ condition from her heart attack so I guess she must be getting better or I would have heard something.

Additional Material

Utah’s Blue Laws Are Enforced”. Salt Lake City prosecutor Ted Cannon, who is responsible for overall handling of Salt Lake’s pornography cases told Utah Daily Chronicle Friday that Judge Stewart Hanson’s conviction of Lee Harper, projectionist at the Palace Theater did not use the city’s anti-pornography statutes.  Cannon said that “The (Supreme) court gave us the power to control depiction of the ultimate sexual act,” in Utah. Cannon stated that he “himself sees  film (on trial for pornography) twice before trial” as part of his civic duty. “But they are also degrading to a basic part of the human experience. I agree with Victor Cline in that I think hard core stuff is harmfully degrading.” (1/19/76 Utah Daily Chronicle pg. 2) 

17 January 1976 Saturday

I was up at 7 this morning to take the Pinto down to enterprise Auto Repairs to have a tune-up done on it. It just can’t be put off any longer.

            Mike Allred picked me up from there so I didn’t have to walk home but I did have to walk back down to pick the Pinto up when it was ready. It cost me about $20 for the tune-up. I suppose that is better than a car payment.

            This evening Mike and I drove down to Spanish Fork to see the show “Brigham Young” that had Dean Jagger playing Brigham Young and Vincent Price playing Joseph Smith. It was pretty good and made me appreciate the pioneers more.

I really don’t like listening to the radio right now. There’s no songs out I like and Barry Manilow’s I Write the Songs is number one that I can’t stand. Provo plays Convoy by C.W. McCall constantly.  

18 January 1976 Sunday

It was a hectic but rewarding day. Mike Allred had to go to Salt Lake to see his dad who is down from Wyoming having surgery. So In Priesthood, I had to take over his Home Teachers Supervisor District. I had to take on his role and take notes for him. Then in Sunday School the opening exercise took so long that I didn’t have much time to help the kids in class with their genealogy.

            After class I went home teaching with Lee Russell before attending Sacrament Meeting which was really good. A High Counselor from the Stake gave a talk on being worthy to enter the Temple.  After Sacrament I had to go up to the J Reuben Clark Law Building for a Stake Genealogy Meeting.

            It’s going to be a busy week ahead for me with Student Teaching beginning tomorrow. I’m really anticipating it will be a good experience. I am psyched up for it and am not scared at all like some of the other kids. Apprehensive maybe but not scared at all.

            Mike said his father is doing okay after his surgery.

            I put all of my sister Donna Jones’ genealogy, I copied for her, together today to send it off. Now when I can afford to mail and send it, the information will be ready.

 19 January 1976 Monday

Today is Dad’s 51^st birthday. I received a letter from Mom in which she said that Grandma Williams was doing better after her heart attack but is still doing poorly but Aunt Minnie is up there to look after her.

            The big news is that Mom said my sister Donna Jones is pregnant!! She is expecting in September. I am so happy for her after all this time. Mom has always been afraid that Donna might not be able to get pregnant from some illness she had as a girl.

            Today was my first day student teaching at Lakeridge Junior High School in Orem. It wasn’t anything like I expected. I came prepared mentally to take over Mr. Prestwich's classes and set up some class norms and expectations but I didn’t hardy do anything but observe.

            Today was also the beginning of this term for the students so I have all new 9^th graders in my Geography Classes. I really like Mr. Prestwich. There is something special and unique about that man. Too bad his gruffness sometimes keeps others from seeing how special he is.  We have the same philosophy on many matters and that helps in developing a good working relationship.

            The kids sure are eyeing me up and down but so far being in class hasn’t been too bad. Mr. Prestwich keeps a firm hand on them and that will help me.

            This evening we had Family Home evening here at the apartment. Lynette Malmstrom gave a lesson on Eternal Marriage.

Additional Material

Lynette Malmstrom is the sister of David Malmstrom who was the director of the Wasatch Affirmation in 1988. Lynette Malmstrom was partner of LaDonna Moore with who became Executor Director of the Utah AIDS Foundation after Ben Barr resigned.

·         “Homosexuals Discuss Gayness and Society” by Robert Waller of Daily Utah Chronicle They have been  called queers, fags, femmes, homos, fairies, butches, dykes, and a threat to natural society. They  call themselves Gay. During the Spanish Inquisition, they were burned at the stake. If two men were to kiss in public within sight of a police man they would be arrested. Many members of straight society wish, more and more to themselves that the Spanish solution, could be re invoked.  And yet Ken Storer , director of Salt Lake City’s Gay Community Center estimates there to be as many as 70,000 homosexuals living in the area from Ogden to Provo.  As our society slowly begins to take a long and deeper  look at itself, the problems of those once hidden, silent in its dark corners, those once called social or sexual deviants, are emerging to where the light of public notice can toss them around, 1^st as a novel spectacle, then as guilt producing victims of an insecure world and finally as an accepted alternative within the mainstream of a saner society.  The Gay community has existed as long as sex has, probably longer since organisms lived sexless for millions of years before such a distinction evolved.  It is well known that ancient Greek society supported homosexuality almost as a preference.  Then for the past, 2,000 years, due to a large extent of a general religious denial of sexual activity, homosexuals were stricken every time they surfaced in the public eye. They were stricken into the early 20^th Century, into the liberal decade of the 1960’s, and are stricken now.  But the public blinders are slowly melting away. Gays are beginning to draw the attention of those who pay attention: Like the medical profession, who have officially removed homosexuality from the status of disease; Politicians who, at least in centers of sophistication like San Francisco, attend Gay political rallies; Civil Libertarians Lawyers who are working to erase some of the prejudicial laws against singles and homosexuals.: The general gawking public, who visit Gay bars like they would a zoo, to stare, laugh, imitate, feel threatened, and live, and curious reporters who confronted with 2 males and 1 female Gay, 2 of whom cannot gives names for fear of losing employment, interview, listen and discover an oppressed minority, one of the few remaining victims of religious persecution, and a group of people who, like oxygen, are everywhere but for their own protection, are very difficult to see. Ken Storer used this analogy. “Look at Gays as living in a pasture with everyone else. It is hoped they have as much chance to experience the rest of the pasture as other people. But there is this big and sometimes mean bull in the pasture. So the Gay has four options. He can leave the pasture by community suicide but of course that way doesn’t give him much of the pasture either.  He can hide in the bushes. And he still doesn’t see the rest of the pasture. The 3^rd option is to be militant and challenge the bull. But he spends so much time challenging the bull that he doesn’t have time to experience the pasture.  Or he can say I am Okay I’m not challenging God, mother, or apple pie and try to live with the bull.” Although the three homosexuals who consented to the interview said living with the bull was beginning to be easier, the problems of being Gay a have not diminished very much. And the problems of being Gay in Salt Lake City is even more frustrating they said. “Most cities reactions to Gays, pornography, etc. is so what?  They don’t think they can legislate morals. Here it is different.”  The man who preferred not to be named and described his profession as “Clerical” said, he will be called A.  Storer explained that he can usually tell who would be able to handle being a homosexual and that’s compared to other cities he has lived in, there are a lot more people in Salt Lake who couldn’t handle it.  “Well the biggest problem is the predominate church,” he said. “The LDS Church has a very high percentage of Gays per capita,” A said.  “Many amount of the church and never confess their situation.” My bishop knows, but he won’t come out and ask me. He has said I shouldn’t be involved with the center.”  All three have decided to live here however and said that the problems with being Gay at more universal then unique to Salt Lake.  The correctional attitude or the feeling of society that a homosexual has a free ability to choose which life he wants, or that a homosexual can change through psychiatric help, has been one of the dominating influences in the suppression of an open Gay Community. Combined with the feeling of a threat the insistence that homosexuals are sexual perverts, bent on destroying families, and the idea that a Gay man wants to be a woman or is overly feminine, or that a Gay woman wants to be a man or is overly masculine, has created an atmosphere of hostility, harassment, and perhaps most painful of all, isolation, for a vast number of our society.  The female homosexual involved in the interview, who also described her profession as clerical, said even people who had known her for a long time were hostile when they found out. Her name is J. “They tried to say, I’m not J anymore, like I was suddenly somebody else. Gays live with a lot of real paranoia.” Storer said, “My brother-in-law threatened to blow my head off and knocked my brother down when he mentioned my name at dinner.”  They said that what for a straight person would be a public display of affection, like holding hands or kissing, would be lewd and lascivious conduct for a homosexual. J claimed that two girls had been thrown out of the Hilton Hotel last December, for dancing together. The misconception involving Gays paralleled the public fear they stimulate. “To think of Gayness as purely sexual response is absurd,” Storer said. “the reason I left the straights is because I could never develop an emotional attachment to men,” J added. “And then there’s the first question everyone asks,” she continued, “How do you do it sexually?” “It's not that much different sexually,” A said. “You share like you would in a heterosexually relationship.”  They explained  there’s as much sexual perversion exists among Gays and straights. Homosexuals have sex for sex’s sake as much as straights. Probably the most wide spread image of Gays is the effeminacy of men and the masculinity of women.  The popular use of the term Pink Power as a symbol of Gay Liberation certainly contributes to that image at least in reference to men. The classical picture of a homosexual dressed in bright colors, bouncing gaily down the street eyeing each “fella” who passes and sometimes even wearing women’s clothing was termed a blatant fallacy by the three Gays who have each been homosexual for over 9 years. “there are some who do those things,” A said, ”But nothing makes me sicker than an overly feminine man.”  J agreed saying extremely masculine women bother her as well.  But fallacies or not the misconception held by society have kept homosexuals hiding in dark corner and forced them into isolation often leading to a crisis which sometimes results in suicide.  And with the Gay community stretching through all strata of society, truck drivers, plumbers, lumberjacks, policemen, ministers.. and ages. Storer knows 49, 63 and 71 year old homosexuals- this isolation is very ironic. Storer’s center is trying to help. By serving as a 24 hour emergency crisis center, a counseling group, an information source, and a social alternative organization, the Gay Community Center at 11 South 400 West is cutting through some of the fear associated with being homosexual. Storer called  the center’s activities’ Life Style Counseling. He divided their work into three areas, the educational services, which sponsors speakers, a newspaper, and the beginning of a resource center.   Housing, jobs, VD, relationships, and crisis counseling are part of their social services. Their 3^rd objective is to broaden the Gay’s range of social activities by organizing parties, dances, and the like, for which strict rules, including no liquor and no sexual solicitation are enforced. “the number of places where a homosexual can go is very limited,” Storer said. “There are five Gay bars in Salt Lake and only two churches which will accept Gays. Public facilities are not open to Gay functions.  But communication to the Gay community is not open either and so the center suffers from a  certain amount of social strangulation. “We tried to put a classified ad in the Tribune and Deseret News, “ Storer claimed. “It was to read Gay? Crisis? Need to Talk? Gay Community Center 533-0927. The ad taker said We can’t accept ads of that nature. So I asked for the manager who said, What kind of center are you?  We’re similar to the rape crisis center. Are you a rehabilitation or reorientation group? We are a counseling center. We don’t print that kind of obscenity. Can you tell me what  is obscene in that ad? I don’t have to talk to you! And that was it.” Storer said the center wasn’t trying to convince anyone to become Gay, if they are unsure. “We try to get them to explore their own feelings, to come to grips with themselves.  We are not a dating service.”  If someone came to me who wasn’t sure,” A said,” I would tell them to try as hard as they can to conform and if it’s impossible then become Gay.”  But the center is not interested in making a heterosexual out of a homosexual. If a person is sure of his Gayness they will serve to help him or her to it not fight it.”  Storer believes quite strongly that Gays can adjust to it and that because of what they have to go though, they become very self reliant. “We have to live two lives. And by trying too hard to conform we have more crisis.”  A said when he first realized his homosexuality nine years ago, he was definitely suicide. “I was brought up to feel one way and begin to feel another.  Now I couldn’t possibly feel any other way>” Straight society is now beginning to realize its homosexuality as well. That is although number of homosexual who are willing to publicly advocate their cause has increase tremendously and they are forcing society to see that Gay life is legitimate part of its function. San Francisco is developing a solid Gay political block to which its politicians have to pay heed. According to A they Gays of Salt Lake are very slow to get together politically, Storer said. That all but two of the city candidates in the last election visited the center but said it was politically impossible for them to give public support for the Gay cause.  A doesn’t want homosexuals to parade around with a purple banner.  He wants to see Gays just proclaim I am me.  “If I could stand up in front of every single Gay I would not say to stand up for your rights. I would say just stand up.” It is a long lonely road between the present altitude of fear and blindness and some distant culture in which homosexuals will be granted marriages licenses, open housing, and , and the opportunity to file joint tax returns. The best Gays can hope for from today  world is to be left alone, to be able to come out from the bushes of the pasture where the insecure bull has pushed them to be free of the “guilt by association”, quarantine which keeps normally tolerant “straights” from treating them as something other than a threat but like any group of people, Communist, homosexual, or the Christian persecution ignorance, and denial will only make them strong and they will eventually prevail. As Ken Storer put it, “If Gays can service all the things they have to survive, than that’s the strongest wrist of all.”  

20 January 1976 Tuesday

I went out to Lakeridge at 8 this morning. I still don’t quite understand what is expected of me but I did get to do more than observe today. Mr. Prestwich let me take over his 5^th Period United States History Class. I used Bro. Squires’ Citizenship evaluation on them and it worked really well. A few students rated themselves rather low on their citizenship so I had to raise them up. That was alright as I made friends out of them. Mr. Prestwich is letting me do an individualized unit on the Westward Movement.

            After school, I came home and worked in the unit all night in addition to making a poster to record the oral quizzes I intend on giving.

            Other student teachers at Lakeridge are Kathy Neilson, Susan Gearheart, and LaMar Sawyer. They all seem to be working closely with one another and have already started teaching kind of mini-classes on the Constitution. I don’t think Mr. Prestwich is going to stress the Constitution as much as Mr. Bowen and Mr. Dinsdale the other history teachers are.

I am so tired. It’s sign off time. Goodnight.

 

21 January 1976 Wednesday

It was such a busy day. I am just beaten into the ground but still it’s been a good productive and worthwhile day. This morning I was up at 6 to get ready for a Lakeridge Faculty Meeting that was held at 7:30. It takes me 20 minutes to drive to school in Orem from the Fairmont Apartments in Provo.  I hate the biting cold air that slaps and stings your face while scraping the frost and ice off the Pinto in the morning.

            I thought the faculty Meeting was a waste of time. The Principal Mr. Baugh surely could not win at a speech tournament. He is so dry and tedious. I kind of stay clear of him after he rebuked me once after sending some misbehaving students down to his office. He basically said I needed to learn to deal with them myself.

            I showed Mr. Prestwich what I came up with for a Unit Plan for the Westward Unit and he really liked it. I still have some more to do before it’s finished

            During the 5^th and 6^th periods. Bro Garn and Dave’s’ education 276 students came out to Lakeridge to demonstrate how to put on a Creative History Fair. It was pretty successful although I was just worn out by the noise level from the open classroom setting. I had a good opportunity to see Garn and Dave in a different light almost like we were peers.

            The Education 276 people sure looked like “greenies”. I wonder if we were that green.

            At 3:30 I dashed to BYU where I attended my 376 R Class on Classroom management. Then at 6 in the evening I dashed over to President Thompson’s office where I was interviewed for a Temple Recommend so I could have my Endowments taken out.

            Finally at 7:30 I gave Kamie Springer’s daughter Cindy a blessing and a name. I then went over to Kamie’s house for cake to celebrate.  

22 January 1976 Thursday

This morning at Lakeridge, I worked some more on my Westward Movement Individualized Unit plan. During 3^rd period I played a simulation game on the Constitution. It went extremely well except for the first group to which Mr. Dinsdale came over and bawled them out for being so noisy. I took the criticism worse than the kids but with this open classroom situation, the whole pod area is noisy with three classes going on.  The last group also gave me a rough time staying on task and I had to get tough with them to avoid Mr. Dinsdale coming over to discipline them.  After they had tested me how far they could push, the lesson went well. The kids were used to seat work instead of getting up and moving around.

            Mr. Prestwich had me take over his 5^th Period History class while he looked in on the other student teacher Kathy Nielson. I showed a film strip presentation plus had the students answer questions from a book about the Constitution.

            Mr. Prestwich and Mr. Bradley liked my individualized unit so well that they are going to get together on the next unit.  After 6^th period, I dashed off to BYU to attend my Self Concept class but I was just too exhausted to go to my Health Class. I am so mentally wound up when I leave Mr. Prestwich’s classes. I need to relax but who has time?

Additional Material

Letter to Editor Daily Utah Chronicle page 5  Editor-“I am a woman, church goer, faculty-member, sports enthusiasts, caring individual. I can share these facets of myself with many people.  I am also a Lesbian. This I share at my peril. Thank you for your openness and conscience raising.  It may help people to be less afraid of their own feelings and more able to understand mine- Anonymous.

·         Letter to Editor Daily Utah Chronicle page 5  Editor “ I was pleased to see your front page article on the Gay Community Services Center.  The tone of the article was commendable, attempting to empathetically  deal with a controversial topic with insightful and fair reporting. I also personally commend Ken Storer for being willing to “come out” and be visible. I realize full well the risks such courageous openness can still bear in this conservative community. One support that is necessary for anyone’s well being either Gay or Straight is the availability of positive public models to identify with. From such, a community of people can be built who can share from the strengths of their own experiences. Hopefully Gay people in Salt Lake can begin to use the center to create such community support.  Of interest to Gay Chronicle readers are some of the activities of the Campus Christian Center, 232 University Street.  As one part of implementing the center’s goal of fostering dialogue with unsupported elements of the higher education community and the building of community as a socially healing experience, we are offering an ongoing Gay Consciousness Raising Group and a two part presentation on Gay History and Literature, Sunday evenings March 7 and 14 at 8 p.m. For further information on these activities please contact me through the Campus Christian Center. I hope that our contribution will add to the continuing dealing between churches, mental health professionals, and the Gay Community. It is only through our continuing availability of public dialogue that we can be accountable and of true service to the individual men and women in Utah’s communities- Paul Larson

 

23 January 1976 Friday

Today was a special and sacred day because I went to the House of the Lord for the first time to do baptisms and confirmation ordinances for my kindred dead. Mr. Prestwich let me go home after 2^nd period because of this movie the school had scheduled to show all the students.

            When I came home, I called the Provo Temple to see if I needed an appointment before coming down to do the ordinances. I didn’t need one, so I decided that today was as good a day as any to do the work.

            It is hard to describe the feeling of sweet calm and peace within the Temple. I was able to go in the water of the baptismal font for 23 of my relatives and ancestors plus 5 additional names I was asked to do. I was baptized and confirmed for my Uncle Ed Danforth, Great-Grandpa Edd Williams, Great-Grandpa Mabry Danforth, Great-Grandpa Luke Johnson, and Great-Grandpa Rod McLeod.

            The baptismal font rests on the back of 12 carved oxen that represent the 12 Tribes of Israel and I know this one thing, no other of my obligations are as sacred and holy as helping in the salvation and exaltation of my dead.  I might not be worthy to enter into the kingdom but I feel good doing this. The temple has opened a new dimension in my faith and has helped me realize that the Gospel is true and necessary for life eternal.

Mike Allred and I watched "Donny & Marie" on TV tonight since it premiered on ABC. Kind of corny but I wanted to see what all the fuss was about.

Additional Material

Daily Utah Chronicle Reporter Mary Dickson wrote “Graduate Student Studies Lesbian Lifestyle”.  Only since the 1960’s has an attempt been made to study the socially sensitive area of homosexuality. While much has been written on homosexual men scientific studies on homosexual women have not. Mary Jo Olsen, a 23 year old graduate study studying in sociology recently lived with Lesbians for 5 weeks to research her master’s thesis “Lesbians: A Minority Group”.  Her study is unique in that she is the first female to undertake a study on Lesbians.  In the past when studies on Lesbianism were made, they were made by men. Her study is also unique because it looks at Lesbians as a minority group and not as a deviant subculture. “This is the 1^st study I’ve seen do this,” she said.  “I don’t believe they are sick or deviant in the sense they’re bad. Deviant is only a differing from the norm-I’m deviant because I’m a graduate student. They shouldn’t be considered subculture deviants but minorities fitting minority characteristics.” Concerning Lesbianism Olsen said “It was not a choice they made but something in them.” Olsen obtained an objective view of Lesbian life style and their status as a minority group by living with Lesbians in a Mid West city, 24 hours a day and viewing all aspects of their life style. The study was funded by a University Bi-Centennial Awards Grant.(1/23/1976 Daily Utah Chronicle page 1-2) (My note-Actually the first known study of Lesbianism in Utah was done by Mildred Berryman while a student at Westminster College in the late 1910’s and early 1920’s)

·         Letters to Editor Daily Utah Chronicle The Monday Chrony really takes the cake. Another fine example of uncut, uncensored, and unadulterated garbage.  You had better get your act together and stop trying to prove how liberated you can be with your “freedom of the press”. Your freedom stops when it infringes on my rights as a student to read anything but junk in the University paper. Most of us students don’t appreciate the trash you print and the ”mouthy majority” is the reason we have to put up with it. About Monday’s Chrony; It is a mark of sheer perversion and depredation when society accepts homosexuality as “normal” and “natural”.  It is about as normal and natural as trying to pet a rattlesnake or making friends with a  pack of wolves or anything else equally “normal”. Remember when sex was for making babies?  What if your father had been a fag?  If you have that problem, snap out of it.  You need help. Lorin Twede.

 

24 January 1976 Saturday

I was up early this morning to take my Pinto back down to Enterprise Repair Shop to have them change the oil and transmission fluid. It cost me another $20. I had to walk home about one and half miles in the snow at 8:30.

            Back at the Fairmont I cleaned up the kitchen and mopped the floor because no one else will.  Afterwards I wrote a letter back to my Grandma Johnson. She had sent a letter saying that the cherry preserves I made last fall back to Texas and Mom sent with my uncle and aunt Wallace and Mattie Lee Williams to give to Grandma was never broughtout to the farm in Hart Camp. I always thought that side of the family was odd except for my cousins Frances Ann Griess and Marilyn Stevens, maybe. I meant to write Mom also today but didn’t get around to it.

            I worked some on my Westward Movement Individualized Unit until later Mike Allred and I went grocery shopping. I asked if I could go with him because my car was still at Enterprise.  That was another $10 spent.

            I then went up to the Richards’ P.E. Building to suit up and run but found that the track was closed. I saw Bro. Coombs there and he didn’t get to run either so we were both frustrated. I went back to the men’s locker room and weighed myself. I weighed 187 pounds. Boy am I fat!  I’ve got to get my weight down. I don’t know where it’s coming from because I don’t eat anything. I can’t afford it. Since I was already in the locker room I sat in the sauna and it felt so good to be warm since it had snowed all last night.

            In the evening, I really accomplished very little as I spent most of the time relaxing and watching TV. BYU lost its basketball game against the University of Utah 74 to 76.      

On the radio, Diana Ross’ song “Do You Know Where You’re Going To” is the number 1 song for the week.  I prefer Donna Summer’s “Love to Love You Baby.”  Mike says he hates that song because he thinks it’s obscene. Ha!

25 January 1976 Sunday

I was up at 7:30 this morning to get ready to go to the J Reuben Clark Law Building to see a member of the Stake’s Presidency to interview for a temple recommend so I can have my Endowments taken out. I rode with Kathy Ryan and Judy Goodrich because they needed recommend also for doing baptisms this Wednesday.

            I missed attending Priesthood because of the meeting but I did go to Sunday School. In my genealogy class I gave a short introduction lesson of British Research. I am starting to be redundant. Right after Sunday School I came home and ate Sunday dinner with the girls, Lee Russell and I Home Teach who live in Apartment 6.

            Stake Conference was held at 1:30 and there we sustained the General Authorities in their sacred callings and heard the Stake leaders talk about December’s Solemn Assembly. There have been only two Solemn Assemblies in this century so it is a big deal. The last one was in 1947. The Lord has told President Kimball to warn the people about the flood of filthiness that is sweeping the world.

            After conference Lee Russell and I went and had personal interviews with each of the girls in Apartment 6. I had a poor attitude because I think Lee is spending too much time Home Teaching when school should come first.  

26 January 1976 Monday

I was up this morning at 5:30 to shower and shave then work on my individualize Unit. It’s about completed. It was 12 degrees outside this morning and the roads were as slick as can be.

            I was late getting to Lakeridge because I stopped at the post office at 8:15 to pick up a certified package that contained some genealogy sent from Mattie Fenter from Arizona and pictures of my nephews and niece, James, Denise and Michael that mom sent to me.  I don’t know who Michael looks like yet.

            At school Mr. Prestwich turned the 5^th and 6^th periods over to me where I gave a test on the Constitution and the three branches of government. The 6^th Period kids drove me right up the wall misbehaving. They all come in going “Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep!”  After finally getting them to knock it off, I was run ragged trying to answer their questions. Before I started student teaching no one could have convinced me how tiring it is.  Ugh. Mr. Prestwich wants me to decide what classes I want to take over and I said I’d take 6^th Period. If I can live through that class, I will be able to face anything thrown at me.

            I didn’t go to Family Home Evening tonight. I was too exhausted. I just stayed home and worked on compiling a list of the descendants of Christian Fenter.

            LaMar Parkin called to say we have another Baptismal Assignment for Saturday Night.

My favorite TV show now is "Laverne & Shirley" that spun off from "Happy Days".  Penny Marshall and Cindy Williams are hilarious.

 

27 January 1976 Tuesday

That 6^th Period of mine at Lakeridge Junior High is going to drive me insane.  I told Mr. Prestwich I would take that class because if I can handle them I’ll be able handle most any other class. There are five mean girls in that class led by Kori Cotant and Karen Davis who have no intention of being co-operative. The three other girls, Renee Frandro, Susan Rickenbach and Lisa Greenhalgh aren’t as bad as Kori and Karen but they all are as thick as thieves. They are supportive of each other’s negative behavior. There’s no way I can just ignore it not allow it to disrupt the class.

Bro Holder says in his classroom management class says for me to ignore them because they get reinforcement enough from the other students that they don’t need any from me. They are bright and attractive girls from LDS families but I think they are afraid of being seen as goody two shoes.

Additional Material

Letters to Editor Daily Utah Chronicle “God Hates Gays” I read with some interest your article about the “gay movement”.  I simply cannot believe anyone could commend an individual who engages in homosexuality. The letter which Mr. Larson wrote Jan. 22 brings up a few points to question. If he really thinks that the Christian attitude toward Gays should be one of tolerance he is grossly mistaken. Maybe he should read his Bible again especially I and II Corinthians. The Apostle Paul denounced homosexuality and the Lord said now as then that He abhors it.  The plight of “gays” is brought on by their own acts: they who knowingly partake of this sinful relationship do so at the risk of blotching up their lives.  True, there are some who can’t cope with life and this is their way of expressing that feeling.  They should seek help not sympathy. To permit or tolerate homosexuality in the least degree is to blind yourself to what it does to all involved.  It is a sign of a decaying society. Sodom and Gomorra should suffice as an example.  They were totally destroyed because their inhabitants were guilty of this awful perversion of nature. We are the children of God and He loves us.  If we will only follow His counsel we can eliminate a lot of our present problems. I therefore must raise my voice against the “gay” movement and any others like it. These people need spiritual help. Seek God, Not Satan. Be children of light-not animals wandering in darkness- Richard Hollingshaus

·         Letters to Editor Daily Utah Chronicle Neither my habit nor my life style, I must never the less respond to Lorin Twede letter. My first reaction was one of caustic amusement. I immediately envisioned a smug self righteous, smooth cheeked youth standing on a soap box somewhere between the Union Building and the Marriott Library defending with zeal a cold, closed, and cruel view of sex and of persons who vary from his sense of “normal”. A view handed down to him, no doubt, by prejudiced adults and through Christian dogma. My second reaction was of disillusionment and frustration and came later in the afternoon. I am 30 years old and have believed that although this attitude of intolerance common to people of my parents’ generation, it had soften in people my age, and had died in the NEW awareness of my younger contemporaries. Now mellowed somewhat, I feel sad and uneasy. I had thought sex was kind of personal communication which two individuals shared in an atmosphere of freedom. I had believed that the how and with whom of this sharing was something left to the desires and needs of the persons involved. Does Twede believe that an ideal sex act involves four? A man, a woman, a fertilized egg and an umpire? Thank God this is not and must not be the case. I shall hope Person Twede find himself in a larger world someday. One that includes all others, that those others are kind in understanding his perversity. Annette Caine.

 

28 January 1976 Wednesday

I only went to my 1^st and 2^nd periods at Lakeridge because Mr. Prestwich let me leave early so I could go to the Provo Temple to do more baptisms for the dead. I went with Calvin Fudge from the 43^rd Branch. He is a really nice guy and I’d like to know him better. I said I would him do some genealogy research on his family. Fudge is such a funny name but then Cal is a fun guy.

            I think both Cal and I were water logged by the time we were done but it was so sacred and worth it to do this holy ordinance for those who have accepted the Gospel in the Spirit Prison or will accept it at  some point.

            After we changed back into our regular clothes in the men’s changing room, Cal and I went down to the Cougareat and had a quickie burger. Cal is so fun to be with and makes me laugh.

Additional Material

Letter to the Daily Utah Chronicle “A Jack Ass” As a student of psychology I must complain. Some of your recent articles have defined what could become a major problem in my chosen field of work. I was not aware of just what  the problem was until being enlightened by your journalism. With the reclassification of behavior previously thought to us as “abnormal” (e.g. Homosexuality, lesbianism, sexual deviations), I have found to my astonishment that my text books are becoming thinner and thinner! Presently we are down to one mimeographical sheet. I think something should be done before we all graduate and find ourselves with nothing to 

do.  Perhaps one solution would be to begin adding behaviors to the texts as they progressively become more deviant ( such as honesty, heterosexuality, virginity, parenthood, family membership, and integrity). Only one problem stands in our way: There are very few studies, if at all of any kind, on those behaviors plus no notion as to their etiology or  prognosis for behavior modification. BRIAM LEON ARNESER

·         All the recent philosophical and religious controversy concerning sexual preference is becoming a bit absurd.  It isn’t so much a matter of what  people should be allowed to do sexually…rather it’s a matter of what people do, and enjoy doing, moral and legal consideration aside. Be advised that too much philosophical  posturing in the bed is not a good thing.  When James Dean was questioned about his sexual preference, he replied by saying, “I can’t see going through life with one arm tied behind me.” That strikes me as a fairly reasonable attitude. Let the good times roll. (Name Withheld) Daily Utah Chronicle

·         Is Lorin Twede for real or just a pseudonym being used by an idiot?  Many of us enjoy the frank approach the Chrony took to a much too little discussed subject (i.e. homosexuality) Inherent in freedom of the press is the knowledge that someone somewhere will be offended by what someone else prints.  Suppose Lorin Twede that the Chrony thought your letter was “junk” and infringed on their right to print only logical and well written letters to the editor. The point is your letter was as offensive to some as the Chrony’s homosexual issue was to others. The Chrony may be biased but unlike you, it is willing to represent both sides of an issue.  In reference to the persuasive nature of Mr. Twede’s letter, let me quote one of his better sentences, “Most of us students don’t appreciate the trash you print and the mouthy majority is the reason we have to put up with it.” If most implies majority than your two juxtaposed statements contradict each other. REX BIERLEY   

29 January 1976 Thursday

Today school went really well and Mr. Prestwich let me teach the 5^th and 6^th period history classes while he worked on a Priesthood Lesson he has to give in his Ward. He said he never had a student teacher he had such confidence in to take over a class so soon.  Maybe it’s because I am older than most of the other student teachers. His praise really boosted my ego. He wants me to start this Monday officially taking over 3 class periods.

            As soon as school let out I dashed to BYU to attend my Health Class for Secondary Teachers that lasted until 7:30 this evening. I was so tired but I went over to Jan Morgan’s apartment to figure out these blasted objectives we have to do. There is no way I can successfully complete an individualize unit, and daily lesson plans all night and then have to worry about these education objectives. They are so vague. I don’t know which ones I’ve taken care of and which ones I haven’t. The education faculty don’t really seem to know what is going on and aren’t very helpful at all.

            Jan and I just became more and more upset each time we looked at the mess they want us to do without any assistance from them. I was so frustrated over it.  I took a solid week of 3 hours a night to make up the individualized unit plan for the Westward Movement and now this.

Additional Material

Daily Utah Chronicle “Not Sinful” Dear Mr. Hollingshaus, loosen your tie and unbutton your shirt, I think you’ll find that your neck is bright red.  I think Mr. Hollingshau, it is not the gays or the supporters of the gay movement that are decaying our society but instead it is people like you.  It is not sinful or perverted to be attracted to the same sex.  Relationships are not based solely on the performance in the bed room, there are emotions involved you know. I myself do not engage in homosexual activities, but I do have many close friends who do.  Why are you afraid of condoning homosexuality. Are you afraid you might be converted? I really don’t think it’s something you realized  over night.  If you are gay you are gay.  God created you that way.  ELLEN WRIGHT  

30 January 1976 Friday

Today was a sacred, holy and special day for me because I went to the Temple of the Most High God to have my endowments taken out. Steve and Meg Madsen went with me Salt Lake City for the evening session at Temple Square. I had to be there by 4 in the afternoon so as soon as my 6^th period at Lakeridge was over, I just dashed out of the parking lot and was in Salt Lake City by 4. I was so nervous over what to expect by going through the Temple.

            About 4:30 I was taken to a changing room to prepare for the initiatory  work of the washing and anointing of my body. At this point I was given a new name that will be used in the resurrection and I had sacred garments placed on me that I am always to wear to remember my covenants.

            Then at 5 I went with Steve through the various steps of the Endowment Session to learn the signs and tokens to pass through the veil. It was mystifying but the most glorious experience. The Celestial room was absolutely the most beautiful chamber I have even seen. Pictures do not do it justice.

            The session ended at 9 at night. Meg and Steve showed me where they were sealed for time and all eternity. It was so lovely and sacred.  The holiness of the Temple experience is indescribable. It is so clean and pure and love seems to pour out into my soul in a tranquil, peaceful, manner of expression. O How I love the Lord. What love he has which surpasses all understanding. Why would anyone chose to leave the light of his Grace?

 

31 January 1976 Saturday

I woke up in a dream like wonder. Did I dream it all last night of being in the House of the Lord? Now it seems like it was so distant yet sacred like it was too beautiful to be real. But I look down and see the Garments of the Holy Priesthood of God on me and it still doesn’t seem like it’s really happened. I’ve waited so long for this happy time that I’m afraid I might wake up and it’s all a dream.

            My friend Tuck returned my Pinto that I had let him borrow last night for his date. He was really excited for me that I finally had my endowments.

            I was the only one to do anything around the place today. I cleaned the kitchen and mopped the floor but for most of the afternoon I typed up some family histories on my ancestors Hans Michael Finter and his son Bastian Fenter.  Then I went and ran a half mile today until my leg cramped up on me.  So I went to one of the Education Mid-Conferences that Bro. Coombs was moderating because I said I would give a ride to one of the students who was on the panel.

            In the evening I babysat little Steven and Hillary for Meg and Steve Madsen while they went to the Basketball game tonight. Mike Allred went with them. Mike said we lost to El Paso by 1 point. I heard it was a close exciting game if you are into basketball.

The only songs out right now that I even like are "Fly Away" by John Denver and "Love Hurts" by Nazareth. I sometimes wish I could just fly away. So it’s the last day of January. I hope it gets warmer in February.

 

FEBRUARY 1976 

1 February 1976 Sunday

I was up early this morning to get ready to drive to Salt Lake City to be with Richard and Piper Holmes and attend their Fast and Testimony meeting in the Colonial Hills 2^nd Ward. Piper wanted me to stand in with Richard and his relations as he blessed their little baby girl they named Sarah Jarvis Holmes. Elder Gordon B Hinckley’s sister sat in the pew right in front of us. Piper’s baby is so cute. Maybe I’ll be worthy enough someday that the Lord will so bless me

            After church, we went to Piper’s home where we had a Spaghetti Dinner which was the first good meal I’ve had in weeks.  I was back in Provo by 5:30 this evening . I called Jan Morgan to see if she’d like to go to the 12 Stake Fireside tonight where Elder Boyd K Packer is speaking.  She already had a date so I then called Cathy Ryan but she was sick and not feeling well and wanted just to stay home and rest.

            I then decided to stay home myself since I was tired from all the driving I did today although I know I should have gone. When Mike Allred came home from attending the Fireside he said that President Kimball was quite ill and we were admonished to pray for him. The world will have lost a great man if anything should happen to him.

            I had called Mom earlier today and she said everybody’s just fine out there. She said that it’s just hot and dry in California because they are having a drought. What a difference a year makes when we almost drowned last year from all the rain.  

2 February 1976 Monday

Today was a really rough day student teaching at Lakeridge because my 6^th period U.S. History Class was so out of control.

            I was up at 5:30 this morning to finish typing up the Westward Movement Individualize Unit. Mr. Prestwich is turning 2^nd, 3^rd, and 6^th periods over to me entirely so I had to have the units ready to give out.  In the workroom at Lakeridge, while running off copies from the ditto masters, I had no idea that between Mr. Prestwich and Mr. Bradley’s classes there would be so much paper work involved.

            My 3^rd Period US History class went smooth as silk. The lessons couldn’t have been better. However in the 6^th period after Mr. Prestwich left to watch a ball game, I lost complete control over the class because of a couple of mean girls. Karen Davis and her cohorts gave me such a rough time so much so that I had to spend the majority of the class period trying to just get them to settle down.

            It’s a shame that just because of a few rowdy students, the excited kids who really want to learn the unit have to suffer. I tried everything I was taught in my education classes to handle the situation. I give a self evaluation on behavior at the end of the period each day, however the girls who act up the most always give themselves a 7 which is the highest score.

            Mr. Prestwich and I decided the best course of action for this class is to remove the ring leader, Karen Davis. I left school with tons of homework to review and grade so I didn’t bother going to Family Home Evening. 

3 February 1976 Tuesday

We are experiencing a Spring Thaw with the temperature being above 50 degrees. It has taken the chill off everything. At Lakeridge during my 2^nd Period US History class the power went off for nearly 20 minutes. Since there was very little natural light filtering into the pod I was teaching in, it was kind of difficult to keep and maintain the classroom’s attention. I am glad it didn’t happen during 6^th period or who knows what the gang of girls would have done.

            Because the weather was so nice I was antsy not to go back to the apartment. I took a drive up to Pleasant Grove just to be doing something. I shouldn’t have.

Additional Material

Daily Utah Chronicle carried an article on homosexuality called “Psychological Help Falls Short “.

·         Chronicle Rep. Stephen Holbrook D-Salt Lake has consistently worked for students to see that the eventual tuition would not occur. On Thursday with tuition increase seemed inevitable Holbrook made a motion to hold tuition to a minimum. Credit must go to Holbrook who has always been the student’s protagonist. (my note. Stephen Holbrook is a Gay man who founded KRCL Radio in 1979)

 

4 February 1976 Wednesday

The weather was so nice today that the kids were kind of antsy for Spring. It was about 50 degrees today. I can’t blame theme because I feel the same way. Right after 6^th period I dashed off to BYU to attend my Classroom management class.  So far it’s working on students who are general good kids but it’s useless for kids who deliberately want to disrupt.

            I called Calvin Fudge this evening and asked if he wanted to go to the movies or something this weekend but he said he had a date. Oh Well.

In the news there was a 7.9 earthquake in Central America that killed nearly 23,000 Guatemalans, mostly Mayan Lamanites.

Additional Material

Diary of Donald Attridge: February 4, 1976, " Through aversion shock therapy I am trying to retrain my mind to adhere to the heterosexual principles that I am suppose to espouse." He annotated this passage writing “In the processes of aversion shock therapy I would be watching pornographic movies receive a shock to my forearm and leave the offices of Dr. [Robert] Card in extreme sexual distress. I believe it was at this juncture I began to feel trapped in my marriage. The marriage lost any sense of eternalness. I think it became a sorrow for both of us. Not only did we have all the disputes that all normal marriages contain. There was a fully functioning homosexual married to a fully functioning heterosexual. What was President Kimball thinking to counsel homosexuals to marry heterosexuals. Did he truly have grasp of the situation. Did he present this before the God of Heaven and receive this answer?”

 

5 February 1976 Thursday

Today was a long tiring day at Lakeridge but kind of fun. The  1^st period is my prep time and I used the time to prepare a problem solving lesson to teach in my 3^rd and 6^th Periods.  In 2^nd period, Mr./ Prestwich and I are toying with the idea of having a group of the top students prepare individualize instruction for the others on the class as a form of peer teaching.

            In 3^rd period I tried out my problem solving lesson of Immigrants trying to cross the Oregon Trail. First of all I had the students try to identify the problem I gave them on a printed sheet. Then they were to make a hypothesis whether their wagons were able to get through the Desert or not. After gathering the data from the library on the desert, they were supposed to determine whether their hypothesis they formed was correct of whether because of a wrong hypotheses their wagon train perished in the desert. Actually the lesson went over better in 6^th period  than 3^rd because there are brighter kids in that class.

            It snowed about an inch today so my Pinto was covered when school let out. 

6 February 1976 Friday

In my U.S. History classes we showed a movie called the Real West with Gary Cooper narrating it. The film was made in 1961 with Gary Cooper discussing the wagon trains, gold rush and cowboys of the American West from 1849 to 1900. I remember see this film when I was in Junior High School back in the 1960’s. We showed it in the 3^rd, 5^th, and 6^th periods.

            Mr. Prestwich had to leave after lunch so I had to run the projector myself which was frustrating. That media instruction class I took at BYU last fall didn’t do me a bit of good because this projector was a completely different kind and a double-reeler.

            The temperature really dropped from the beginning of the week with it only 5 degrees this morning and didn’t get above 28 degrees.   I think I am coming down with a cold. 

7 February 1976 Saturday

It was extremely cold today. This morning it was only 7 degrees and I think it barely made it up to 30 in the afternoon. There’s still 4 inches of snow on the ground.  School is so exhausting that I slept in until 10 this morning before Terry Haake was making a racket watching Saturday Morning cartoons in the front room. Stuart Smith was already up and gone over to his girlfriend’s when I finally was up.

            I made me some oatmeal for breakfast because it was chilly even in the apartment. I spent most of the morning grading my kids’ papers until I was nearly burned out. I wanted to go to the Varsity Theater but had no one to go with so instead I drove into Salt Lake City to do some research on Grandma Johnson’s side of the family.

            I left when they closed this evening and driving back down I stopped at the Rest Stop at Pleasant Grove. I sat in the parking lot there listening to the radio and watching lots of cars come and go. I didn’t come back to Fairmont until 11 and everyone else was already in bed. I tried not to wake Stuart. I am guilty enough. 

8 February 1976 Sunday

It got up to freezing today and I am not feeling well but the snow is starting to go down I noticed so Mike Allred and I walked to Priesthood. I was so tired but Mike made me get up and go. James Roundy our Elders Quorum President talked about keeping up on our Home Teaching Assignments. Lee Russell grabbed me afterwards to go do some visiting in the afternoon. I didn’t want too but I know I should.

            I didn’t have to teach my Family Exaltation Sunday School today so I cut out after the opening exercises and walked home and went back to bed. Everybody else had a place to go to for Sunday Dinner so I stayed home and rested until Lee came over to go visit some of the sisters.

            Later Mike drove us to Sacrament because it was too cold to walk. He noticed that I didn’t take the Sacrament but didn’t say anything about it.  He knows something is up with me.

9 February 1976 Monday

At Lakeridge Junior High I tried giving an Inquiry Lesson in 2^nd Period on the Industrial Revolution in Western Civilization. The students guessed the answer in nine guesses which meant they were either good guessers or my lesson was too easy.  I had given them a pre-assessment so I knew that they didn’t know about the Industrial Revolution beforehand. I gave all my students more time to work on their assignments that are due tomorrow.

            I didn’t make it to Family Home Evening because the family wasn’t where they said they would be at 8:00. I was mad at Mike Allred for not telling me that they had switched where they were going to meet away from Fairmont. Besides it was too cold to try to hunt them down.

I am still carrying that cold as my head just throbs at times.  

10 February 1976 Tuesday

It finally is warming up above freezing again. I had a horrible day with two students in my 6^th period history class. Loren Johnson and Kori Cotant hate me. It just oozes out of Kori. She defiantly dares me to take any discipline action against her. I finally just had it with her attitude and went after school to talk with Mr. Relf, the school special education counselor. He said to pull her from the class until her attitude and behavior improves. Even Karen Davis’ behavior was slipping some and I think she is forgetting that she is on probationary status.

            All my other classes are doing fine. They seem to be coming along and progressing on their individualized units.

            When I came home from Lakeridge, I ate some supper and corrected some of the student’s homework before going out to go home teach with Lee Russell. We went and visited with Kami Springer and her roommate Vicky Gearheart. Vicky was feeling rather depressed and troubled so Lee and I gave her a Priesthood Blessing. We talked about the Gospel’s Plan of Salvation with her before visiting with Kamie. We were over there from 8 to 10 tonight so I didn’t get anything accomplished at all this evening.

            Last night I had a dream where Grandma Danforth came to me with a letter that had a list of names on it. On the list was the name of a man named Usshursen or Anderson, it wasn’t clear, who had the information on Grandma Danforth’s Grandma Peacock. I need to follow up on this. It was so clear and vague. 

11 February 1976 Wednesday

Mr. Prestwich didn’t come to school today because of an illness and rather than get a substitute he just had me take all his classes.  I was still feeling pretty miserable myself but what can you do? I’ve had the most wicked headache with me all day. The constant murmur pitch and noise level in the open classrooms does not help a bit with my headache.

            All my periods went well except of course 6^th period. I asked Kori Cotant to leave because she was so disruptive and belligerent. She said she didn’t have to leave if she didn’t want to go. I said that she did. I should not have confronted her in front of her classmates because I really wounded her pride. However if that is what it takes to get her to change her nasty attitude, so be it.  I talked to Mr. Relf, the special education teacher again about the confrontation and he said that I handled it well.

I was having a migraine headache and the last thing I wanted to do was attend my evening Classroom Management and sit for 2 hours but I did. I’m glad I did too, because Bro. Holder was able to change my negative attitude to a positive one dealing with difficult kids.

I have so much to do. I don’t know where to begin. I need to focus but I mainly just want to get rid of this terrible headache. At least it was nearly 40 degrees today and the snow is almost all gone except in patches.

In the mail I received a Valentines’ Day Card from Mom and Dad today. In the evening Meg Madsen came over to visit a while I think just to get away from Steve and the kids. She brought over some cupcakes she had made.

In the news Actor Lee J. Cobb died today in California. He was 64 years old. I really liked him in “Captain From Castile” and “The Three Faces of Eve”. 

12 February 1976 Thursday

We started our Geography Modules today in 2^nd Period where our top students learned the material well enough first, to teach the other students. I was really impressed with Jill Worley’s and Tamara Smith’s groups. Jim Erickson brought in a resource person to talk about Switzerland where the guy went on his mission.

            In my 3^rd and 6^th U.S. History classes we had a workshop again so they would have time to work on the second project of their individualized unit which is due on Tuesday.

            There are several students in my classes who are not motivated and just will not perform. We have had 5 assignments so far and these students have turned in nothing. I am going to write a note to their parents that they must take home so their parents will be informed what work their kids need to make up.

            After school I hurried off to my Self Concept class taught by Bro Kay and right after wards to my Health Class taught by Bro. Coon.

            At 8 this evening I had a date with Susan Miller and we went to the Planetarium in the Science Center. We heard a presentation on life in the Cosmos. I really enjoyed it but I was kind of tired by the time it was over. Susan pulled a stunt tonight that makes me wonder whether she really likes me or not. She saw some of her roommates at the Planetarium and she went home with them rather than having me take her home. I suppose I was supposed to think she was doing me a favor.

            That made me kind of depressed and so I spent some time at Pleasant Grove but it was so cold out that no one was there but some old truck drivers.

            In the news the actor Sal Mineo was stabbed to death in Los Angeles while coming home from a play rehearsal. He was great with James Dean in Rebel Without a Cause. He was only 37 years old. 

13 February 1976 Friday

I still have that lingering cold and it seems to have settled in my chest. I hope I don’t get walking pneumonia. I am so worn down and on the go constantly.

            The Geography Modules are going well with the students who are sharp and prepared in class but I have to monitor the groups that have a tendency to turn their groups into gab sessions rather than work sessions.

            In 3^rd Period it was a total disaster. Bro. Coombs’ maxim that if anything can go wrong, it will. I decided to show a film strip on Daniel Boone. I inadvertently put the wrong side up of the cassette on so it didn’t match the pictures on the screen. Then after fixing that, the film strip kept jumping to the next frame even when I tried to stop it manual. It took me a while to figure out what was going on. 

    From all the giggling I discover this girl had hid the automatic remote in her lap and she kept messing with the slides. I was so mad at her. After fixing that problem finally the film actually began to overlap and shred in the film strip projector.

            During the prep period I previewed another film and made sure nothing would go wrong with this one and kept the remote with me at all times.

            In my 6^th Period class, Karen Davis was so obnoxious that Mr. Prestwich removed her and sent her to Mr. Relf’s Special Education class. I couldn’t handle her rudeness to me any longer and Mr. Prestwich said I shouldn’t have to.  After talking to her, Mr. Relf said that Karen is willing to shape up if she can come back into class but Kori Cotant still has poison towards me spilling out of her eyes at me.

            Mr. Prestwich asked me to give him a ride home after school and visiting I got to know him a little better. He told me a story however that I thought was kind of odd. He said that he had taught some Boy Scouts once and when he was taking this one teen home, the boy had put his hand on Mr. Maxwell’s thigh. Taken by surprise, Mr. Prestwich asked the kid if he was one of those “funny boys” and the kid started to cry. It was a weird story and I wonder why he was telling me this unless he suspects I might be one of those “funny boys.” 

14 February 1976 Saturday

It snowed a skiff this morning but warmed up into the mid-40’s by the afternoon. Mike and I went to Reams market to buy some groceries. I am almost out of money again. Eating a lot of anything I can by stretching a pound of hamburger out for the entire week. Terry Haake’s folks sends him food packages that he never shares and he takes up a lot of space in the icebox with stuff that goes bad before he eats them. He doesn’t even cook but sponges off the girls he dates.  Stuart Smith is never home so we don’t have any problems being roommates but I don’t know him much either. He went to spend Valentine’s Day over at his girlfriend’s apartment. Mike Allred avoids me a lot of the time but then we are both super swamped with school.

I should have stayed in this evening and watched TV with Mike but I can’t stand being around Terry much. He’s so immature and brags about his girlfriends constantly like he’s such the catch. Instead I had to get away and went to the Harold B Lee Library until they closed. 

I didn’t feel like going back to the apartment so I got on the freeway to go for a drive and listened to music on the  radio. I didn’t have much gas to waste do I stopped at the Rest Stop in Pleasant Grove to sit in the dark and listen to the top 40. There is a lot of temptations at the Rest Stop and I should not be going there.

Additional Material

The first Gay Awards Banquet called the Salt Lick Seagull Awards was held  at the Sunset Room in Salt Lake City by the Imperial Court of Utah. Approximately 30 awards were given out including “Best Baths Attendants”, “Judy Garland Comeback of the Year” and “Best Advise Bitch of the Year”.

 

15 February 1976 Sunday

I woke up so sick that it was impossible to get up and attend Priesthood despite all of Mike Allred’s attempts. I felt so weak and listless. I didn’t look sick but I felt sick like all my joints were watery. I finally asked Mike to tell Lee Russell to ask Phil Dunn to teach my Sunday School class and I went back to bed. I did not get up for the rest of the day or felt like eating.

            Terry Haake is so inconsiderate. Here I am trying to sleep and he slams around the place, talking as loud as he can with that dumb German laugh of his. I was sick of laying in bed so finally after all my roommates left for Sacrament, I got up because I knew they’d make fun of me for not going to church if I didn't, but I just collapsed on the couch.

            When Mike came home, I had taken my temperature which read 103 degrees which convinced him I was really sick and not faking. Kami Springer, who I home teach was concerned I wasn’t at church and she came over to bring me some cookies and sing me a song. She took my temperature for me and I then had a 104 degree temperature.

            So I decided I better call my  home teachers but only Mark came right away.  Mike Allred anointed me with consecrated oil to be healed. I was admonished to get well so I could do more genealogy. Mark sealed the blessing. After the blessing my fever dropped to about 100 degrees.  

16 February 1976 Monday

There was no school today because of the holiday so it should have been a great vacation day to catch up on my BYU assignments. I thought I’d get caught up on my education objectives and get a head on some lesson plans for Lakeridge but here I am flat on my back, miserable. My ears ache. My eyes ache. I am so sick of just laying here in the apartment too sick to get up and go out.  My cough is really getting worse.

            The Health Clinic is closed today and there’s no way I am go to the emergency room at the hospital and pay all that extra money just to sit around to see a doctor.

            I called Mr. Prestwich at his house and told him how sick I was and that I’m sorry I couldn’t make it to his Family Home Evening tonight. He was really nice about it and said not to worry about school but just concentrate on getting well.

            This is just the wrong time to get sick with my Education Block Classes ending soon and there’s so much to do. In truth I haven’t gotten much of anything useful out of them. I’d much rather have gone for two weeks straight with these classes than 1 class a week for 8 weeks. Too much time passes between the classes for me to put them to use.

            It snowed a little today. 

17 February 1976 Tuesday

I had called Mr. Prestwich yesterday to let him know I wasn’t coming in today. My fever has dropped but I still feel so miserable and achy. My sinuses are plugged up with mucus and phlegm is going into my lungs which has me coughing a lot.

            I called BYU’s health clinic at 8 this morning and got a 11 o’clock appointment. It was snowing and I was so achy I could hardly make it there. The nurse checked me for a strep throat and for bronchitis. She gave me a prescription for some cough syrup and Ampicillin anti-biotics which cost me $4 all together.  The health center sent me home without telling me what was wrong with me but on the news tonight, they announced that a B Strain of the Flu has broken out in Utah and the symptoms describes are exactly what I have so I must have the flu.

            It’s ridiculous that I had to hear what is wrong with me on the TV news instead at the clinic. I must admit how good Mike Allred, and the Madsens have been looking after me during this illness. Meg has been bringing me soup. Where would I have been without them since I am so far from home.

            My problem is now is falling behind with school work. I’ve had the time off to study but haven’t felt up to it.

 

18 February 1976 Wednesday

This flu bug has kept me from going back to Lakeridge still. I’m starting to feel better but my chest hurts from coughing so much. Mucus is still causing my sinuses to go crazy and blowing my nose constantly.

            I’ve spent most of the time lying on the front room couch watching TV. I should be using the time to study but my eyes ache and it’s so hard to concentrate on anything that takes the least bit of effort. I just didn’t want to do any school work.

            In the afternoon, I called Bro. Holder and told him that I couldn’t make to the Classroom Management class tonight because I had the flu. He didn’t like it much. Oh Well. I made an appointment with him for this coming Monday to pass off my Reality Therapy Role Playing with him.

            I can hardly believe the Education Block Sessions will be over next week. I haven’t gotten much out of them. I think mostly they were busy work. If I would have taken the Block Classes before student teaching and not during it, I think maybe they would have been better. Bro Kay’s Self Concept class really seems to be going nowhere but it’s finally over next Thursday.

            It was finally up to 40 degrees again.

 

19 February 1976 Thursday

I went back to Lakeridge finally today. I still felt rotten but I thought I better get back into the swing of things before it’s too late. I sat around blowing my nose most of the time while Mr. Prestwich taught. I am just all around feeling bad. I now have a horrible fever blister on my upper lip over which I am growing a mustache because I can’t shave above it. The pills and cough syrup the clinic gave me don’t seem to be doing much for me but I guess they are good to show that I’ve been sick and not faking it.

            Loren Johnson started acting up in 6^th Period but I told him to pick on me some other day when I feel better.

            I didn’t stay long after school was out but went straight home to Fairmont and back to bed. I didn’t even make it to my 376 Self Concept Class or my Secondary educational health class. The idea of sitting in a classroom for 3 ½ hours was nauseating to me. I did  kind of feel bad not going to the Self Concept Class though because this is next to the last one and I still don’t have the slightest idea what Bro. Kay’s objectives are for that class.

            It’s been in the mid 40’s and most of the snow is all gone.

 

20 February 1976 Friday

I felt a lot better today, almost human again. I think my students noticed it too. It snowed some today with some sticking to the ground. I hate scraping frost off the Pinto in the morning when it’s so cold out.

In my 2^nd period, I think Pat Mellor has a crush on me since I showed her some attention at the beginning of the term. That is really funny. Still I don’t have nearly as many crushes on me as LaMar Sawyer has as he is tall and so good looking.

            Mr. Prestwich is trying to line me up with his niece. I’m not adverse to blind dates like some people are. I always think the other person is getting the worse of the deal anyway.

            My 6^th Grade Period sure has gotten worse since I’ve been sick, especially now that I allowed Karen Davis and Kori Cotent back into class. I think it was a mistake to do so. They have this really immature attitude that it’s being "goody good shoes" to behave in class. They think it’s too restrictive to remain in their seats or refrain from talking all through the period.

            I worked tonight for the first time this semester during the Preference Dance held in the Wilkinson Center’s Ball Room as a ticket taker. I sure can use the money. It was kind of fun seeing the couples all dressed up and the guys trying to look cool. Bagels with Cream Cheese was served as refreshments with fruit punch. 

21 February 1976 Saturday

It’s warming up but still cold only about 38 degrees but the breeze makes it seem even chillier. I am finally feeling pretty good. I was really lonely tonight as that all my roommates were gone out on dates. I didn’t want to sit home alone watch the boob tube so I went for a drive to get out.

I drove around then up to Pleasant Grove where I sat in the Pinto in a parking space and listened to songs on the radio. I don’t like any that are in the top ten except for Eric Carmen’s “All By Myself.” I really don’t like Paul Simon’s “50 Ways to Leave Your Lover” which is played like every half hour.

I stayed out until nearly Midnight  just watching people come and go and thinking why am I here instead of in bed at home? I really have no friends here at BYU anymore including Mike Allred. We are not close anymore and rarely talk about what is bugging us. It’s discouraging. 

22 February 1976 Sunday

Mike Allred was mad at me that I didn’t get up to go to Priesthood this morning. I only went to Sunday School so I could teach my genealogy class but I didn’t make it to opening exercises.

I also skipped going to Sacrament because I didn’t feel worthy to take the Sacrament. The adversary has got a hold of me again and I am starting to slip. I don’t know what is wrong with me. Maybe I am just worn out.

            I heard some sad news that Flo Ballard from the Supremes died today. She was only 32 when she died of a heart attack.

Additional Material

In Salt Lake City the Century 21 Theater presented the second of a series of  Gay oriented films sponsored by the Gay Community Center at 1 in the morning. The “Gay Deceivers” and “A Very Natural Thing” was shown.  “The all niters” were joined by a very special guest, Rev. Troy Perry, founder of the Metropolitan Church who was introduced by Ken Storer director of the Gay Community Services Center.

 

23 February 1976 Monday

My Westward Individualize Unit is beginning to be my biggest headache. All I do is correct papers and check off assignments completed for about 100 kids. I take stacks of papers home each night to grade. I’m trying to do my best to make sure they all get properly recorded in the grade book.

            There is this one student, Rennie,  who has not turned in even one assignment since the beginning of the unit. I know she’s going to say that I lost them. Rennie pulled that on me with her first assignment. I’m sure she didn’t do it but since she claimed she did and that I must have lost it, I was willing to give her the benefit of a doubt. So I gave her credit for the first one, but now 8 assignments later she still hasn’t turned in any work. Even Loren Johnson who is as lazy as can be has turned in a time line assignment. I was so excited when he did. It was an indication that he was at least willing to put a little effort into the class so I gave him the full 25 points for the assignment but since then I’ve seen no work from him what so ever. Loren has a emotional problems that I don’t think I’m qualified to deal with.

            This is the last week to turn in any assignments for the Westward Movement Unit. Thank goodness. Creating the unit has been a rally valuable lesson, I think, but it’s sure been hard on me.

 

24 February 1976 Tuesday

It is a beautiful clear winter day. Snow is all over the ground but there is no smog or haze so the sky is blue and crystal clear.

            In my 2^nd Period at Lakeridge, I am having the students finishing up the instructional unit on Germany, the Low Countries, and France. The kids did a really good job on the unit and I am proud of them.

            Debbie Barber, Pat Mellon, and Lisa Olsen are so funny. They have nicknamed me “Yogi”. I guess because I look like  Yogi the Bear. They are determined to set me up, each with one of their older sisters. Pat still has a crush on me and flirts with me all the time though she tries to act aloof and sophisticated; as sophisticated as a 14 year old girls can act. 

When I tease her about some assignment she gets so puffed up and says, “Mr. Williams. You make me so mad.” It’s really cute the way she says it. Mr. Prestwich thinks it’s a hoot that one of the girls has a crush on me. He says it’s time to learn how to deal with it.

In the news President Ford won the New Hampshire primary over Governor Ronald Reagan. Good. I never liked Reagan. Governor Jimmie Carter of Georgia won over Mo Udall who’s a Jack Mormon from Arizona.  

25 February 1976 Wednesday

The weather is changing and turning cloudy although it’s in the mid-50’s. How I wish summer was here. I am so tired of winter.

            All my classes at Lakeridge went all right today except of course 6^th Period. The kids were rebelling and upset because I was pressing them to finish up their Individualize Units that are due this Friday.

            I sometimes get so tired of fighting with Kori Cotant and Karen Davis. Their nasty attitudes towards me upsets the demeanor of the rest of the classroom so badly .

            In 3^rd Period a boy sluffed class while we were showing a film. Boy, is he going to be in trouble.

            I ate my lunch down in the faculty lounge for a change. It was enlightening  to sit and observe the nonsense and pure idiosyncrasy of some of the talk that goes on in the faculty lounge.

26 February 1976 Thursday

What a day it was. My stomach is just in knots and I am just sick over how I lost complete control over my 6^th Period.  I was trying to go over some questions on the Alamo so we could have a discussion on events leading up to the Mexican American War. Over and over I had to stop the lesson because Loren Johnson was being completely disruptive. Karen Davis and her groupies Susan and Ranae were all huddled in the back of the classroom chatting among themselves not caring what was being discussed.

            To top it off, a wad of paper was being tossed around from one side of the room to the other completely disrespecting what I was trying to teach. Finally I asked Loren to leave the class and go sit in the study area. He refused to go. He said he hadn’t done anything and I was just picking on him. Frustrated I said "fine do what you like but you’re in big trouble". He then used the occasion for a tirade against me. Loren is an unstable individual and is extremely hard to work with.

            Then Karen and Ranae start applauding and pandemonium broke out. Karen was the worse, and she knew she was on probation in class anyway, so I asked her to leave and go back to Mr. Relf’s class. She also refused to go and tore up the admittance slip  gave her.

            At this time I forgot everything I learned in my Classroom Management Class and in my Self Concept class. I started to get really angry at the class and they knew I was mad and had pushed me too far. I kept Karen after class to talk to her about her attitude and why I was kicking her out of class. Six of her friends hung around to support her and they all told me how much they hated me and what a stupid teacher I was. They all just ran me through the grinder. I tried not to let it show  but I was really hurt after all the effort I had put into that class.

            Mr. Prestwich and I talked about what went on when he returned and he helped me so much to understand that I wasn’t a bad teacher but this little gang was really nasty.

In the news there have been a lot of underground nuclear testing in Nevada this month including one today. I wonder if they could have somehow been affecting these kids? 

27 February 1976 Friday

I really didn’t want to go back to Lakeridge today after yesterday’s fiasco but I knew things couldn’t get any worse and had to get better.  My 1^st and 2^nd Geography periods went well. I spent very little time interacting with them as they are peer teaching from the unit Mr. Prestwich and I developed on Western Europe. In my 3^rd, 5^th, and 6^th Period U.S. History classes, we gave them most of the classroom time to finish up their individualized units.

            Mr. Prestwich excused me for most of the 6^th Period because he wanted to talk to the class about yesterday’s behavior towards me. When I came back in and he took Karen Davis, Kori Cotant, Loren Johnson, Susan, Ranae and Lisa out of class to talk to them individually about their unacceptable behavior. He kept them out until school was over.

            With the gang of six gone, my 6^th period went so smooth and even wonderful. I finally had the chance to be open with my students and not be on the defense all the time.

            When Mr. Prestwich came back in, after the kids were gone, he actually looked shaken himself and said that even he couldn’t control them either. He said they all ought to be suspended from school.

            After we talked, I had to dash to the bank and withdraw $10 for gas and for my date tonight with Mr. Prestwich’s niece Peggy before meeting with Bro. Holder. At 4 in the afternoon I had to do a Reality Therapy Situation with him. I did not like the way he put me down during the session. I get enough of that from the students.

            I went with Peggy to see Airport ’75. She was nice but no sparks.            

28 February 1976 Saturday

All my roommates took off as usual this morning. So I used the time to clean the joint up without them messing it up faster than I can clean it up. Mike Allred is the only one who is not a slob. I did up all the dishes that have been left in the sink since Wednesday. That took about an hour. Then I cleaned the kitchen and mopped the floor. After that I cleaned my bedroom, changed the sheets and threw Stuart Smith’s clothes and garments left on the floor into his closet. Finally I scrubbed the bathroom and vacuumed the front room and bedroom. I wanted to get so much school work accomplished but after cleaning the apartment, I procrastinated the whole day away.

            In the afternoon when Mike came back we went to Reams to go grocery shopping. After that I have only $19 left to my name besides the Spring Tuition money that I’ve put aside. If my transmission in the Pinto clunks out like I think it is trying to do, I’ll be up a creek.

            I really have to go back to work now that the evening Education Block Classes are over. I’ll be able to handle it and finish student teaching I think. I don’t have much choice.

            Tonight was our Stake’s Liberty Ball. I didn’t ask anyone to go because I am broke. So I stayed home and watched the Grammy’s tonight with Mike. "Love Will Keep Us Together" by Captain and Tennille was the Record of the Year.

            It’s been so warm and beautiful out lately, almost like Spring is just around the corner. I wish. It was nearly 60 degrees today.

 

29 February 1976 Sunday

It seems so peculiar that it should be the end of February already and it being Leap Day. The girls get to ask boys to marry them on Leap Day. Ha! Probably the only way I’ll get married. The month has gone by so fast when this time last year in Garden Grove I was so miserable and the time just dragged on and on.

            I went to Priesthood Meeting at 9 this morning because Mike Allred nagged us. Neither Terry Haake or I wanted to go but instead wanted to sleep in. Priesthood we met with the Relief Society where we were given a Cultural Refinement lesson on South Africa by the Sisters. Mike Allred said in many ways the Gospel is easier to preach in South Africa than South America because there’s no race mixing in South Africa compared to Brazil.

            I was upset when I learned that Ed Ham the Sunday School President canceled classes again without telling me. My students were all prepared for a workshop I wanted to give on how to submit names for ordinances. Instead we watched a pretty good film on the importance of Home Teaching.

            After Sunday School, I walked home and started dinner. I cooked Southern Fried Chicken, acorn squash, baked potatoes served with a cheese sauce, and made a beets and cucumber salad.

            We didn’t eat until 3 in the afternoon because I had to go Home Teaching with Floyd Eckel from noon until 1:30. Floyd is a good man but kind of negative about the church. I think he lets the failings of church members bother him too much. We are all sinners to some degree.

            Only Mike Allred stayed for Sunday dinner after all the work I went through because Terry Haake found some girl to sponge off and Stuart Smith at the last minute went to see his girlfriend.

            All of the speakers at Sacrament talked about the sacredness of taking the Sacrament and being worthy of the covenants we make when we do. Mike was watching to see if I’d take the Sacrament so I did because who is he to judge me? I take the Sacrament in remembrance of Jesus Christ’s sacrifice for my sins and for me to remember him even if I don’t always have his Spirit with me.

            After the meeting was over, I came home and served Strawberry Shortcake with whipped cream. Terry sure stuck around for that. We broke our rule of not watching TV on the Sabbath because ABC premiered the "The Sound of Music" and some of the sisters wanted to watch it on my color TV set.

            It’s been in the mid 50’s for most of this past week so all the snow is gone. It’s been wonderful. I hope we have an early spring.

Additional Material

It was the grand opening of The Name of the Game Jr.  Bar located at 535 South State in Salt Lake City. It began a transition from a straight bar to a Gay Bar last December. Owned by Harold and David and managed by Max. Max stated, “Our initial motive was for purely business reasons. We would rather have an open crowd so that Gay did not feel alienated. Gays get down a lot more and are less trashy than some of the straight street people we get in here.”  The bar offered free drinks on Mondays and Tuesdays from 8-10 PM for ladies, and men in drag, a first for any Gay Bar.

MARCH 1976

1 March 1976 Monday

Mr. Prestwich called me this morning to say he had the flu and wouldn’t  be in today. I told him everything will be fine and not to worry but just rest and get better. The weather looked clear this morning but all through the day it began to look stormy and by the time school let out, a huge snow storm had blown in.

            My 1^st and 2^nd Geography classes went well except that 2^nd period is way behind because of all the assemblies Lakeridge has which are always scheduled during that period. In 3^rd Period, I removed the partition between Mr. Bowen’s class and mine so that both classes could see the first part of the film “Gone West”.

            During my 4^th Period prep time and lunch, Mr. Relf wanted me to phone the parents of the six students who were kicked out of 6^th Period. That was a real harrowing experience even though most were really co-operative. Also during the break from the kids, Kathy Nielson went over with me some of the objectives on citizenship evaluation that Bro. Squire had modified. I realized I’ve gotten a lot of the objectives done from talking with Kathy. I just need to write them up and submit them to Bro. Squire.

            The 5^th period went well and we spent half the time reviewing for the test on Chapter 12. We did the same thing in 6^th Period. I can’t believe the behavior difference in that class since that gang of six students was removed. I am not on the defense anymore and can actually teach a lesson.

            It was bad driving home to Fairmont in the snow storm.  Checking the mail I had a note from the Elders in the Garden Grove Ward saying they went to visit with Mom and Dad. They said Dad is struggling with a testimony of Joseph Smith being a prophet.

Additional Material

Utah State University’s student literary magazine, “The Crucible”, published the first male-male love poem by an anonymous Utah student. It was called  “Love song for David”.

·         A Venereal Disease outbreak in the Gay Community of Salt Lake City had Tom Neiderman of Utah Health Department asking to meet with the Gay Community Center’s Board of Directors. First official recognition of  a Gay and Lesbian Community by the health department.

 

2 March 1976 Tuesday

The big snow storm that came in yesterday and overnight dumped snow everywhere again. I wish spring would hurry up and get here. It can’t come soon enough. Mr. Prestwich called me again this  morning and said he wouldn’t be in. He sounded bad over the phone and I know how he is feeling.

            In 1^st Period I had the students finish up their unit on Western Europe. My 2^nd Period is way behind because of the special assemblies the school schedules during that time. Today’s assembly was a BYU dance troop called “Motion”. They performed a discotheque type dance and were really good except they couldn’t get their music together so had a late start.

            In 3^rd, 5^th, and 6^th Periods we spent the time watching the second half of “Gone West.” We also spent some time reviewing for the test. I let the Lakeridge Six back into my 6^th Period so they could watch the film. However I could feel the change in the class’ atmosphere from their bad spirits and it was not good. In 6^th Period I also gave the students a values questionnaire that was for one of my objectives for my student teaching assignments. I haven’t had time to look at it yet and evaluate it.

            Back home in Provo, I spent much of the evening correcting and grading papers, plus typing up the test on the War of 1812 for the test tomorrow.

Additional Material

George Sullivan, mayor of Anchorage Alaska, vetoed a Gay rights bill, explaining the people of Anchorage should not be forced to associate with sexual deviants.

 

3 March 1976 Wednesday

Today went well despite the fact that I was almost late  for school at Lakeridge  because I slept in until 8 this morning. For some strange reason I was dreaming that it was Saturday and I wanted to just sleep in. When I realized I was dreaming, I jumped up at 8:05 hurried and just shaved, threw some water on my face , pulled on the same clothes  I wore yesterday and dashed outside to start my Pinto in the frigid morning air. I barely  made it to Lakeridge by 8:30 right before school started.

            Mr. Prestwich came back and said he was feeling better but I took most of the work load. We administered  the War of 1812 test on Chapter 12  so it was not a lot of formal lecturing.  Even after having gone over the  test , word for word, most of the students would of flunked it if I hadn’t graded it on a curve instead of normally. The top students received the top grades  and the bottom students  got the bottom grades  no matter what I did to pull them along.

            There were 400 points  possible on the individualized unit and it only took 250 to 300 points to get an A. All the A students went way over 300 points no matter what and all the F students only got 100 points or less no matter what I did to coax and encourage them to work on and turn in their assignments.

            Gigi Loy is the only F student who turned herself around and decided to turn in some work and she received a B. I bet sending that note home to her parents had a lot to do with it, but with the others nothing.

            After school let out I went over to BYU and finally picked up my placement packet for Spring Term. It was really cold today but we didn’t have any snow.

 

4 March 1976 Thursday

I have the blues today. Maybe because I am so worn out. It’s kind of discouraging that no matter what I do for my students some want to succeed and others just want to slide by. Mr. Prestwich left before lunch because he wasn’t feeling well.

            I am feeling overwhelmed between working at Lakeridge, passing off my education objectives, and having no money for any social life. My activity in the MIA and Family Home Evenings has dwindled so much I hardly know people in the Branch. I just want to move on with my life. I feel stuck and I get so lonely.

The Madsen’s are my best friends but Meg is mad at Steve half the time and I end up listening to her complaints and Steve then kind of shuts down and I know he’s swamped with his Law School classes.

            Mike Allred and I rarely do anything anymore except attend church together but he knows something is up with me as I come home late sometimes after being out driving around and visiting the rest stops.

 I feel so isolated from my roommates. I miss the camaraderie I had with Darwin Ross, Ken Lewis, and especially Mike from just a few years ago. I miss praying with him. I miss my friends Wayne Tuck, Bill Hall, and Elbert Peck. I even miss John Cunningham. Perhaps most of all, if truthful. I miss caring about someone or having somebody care about me.           

5 March 1976 Friday

I am feeling so discouraged. My student teaching is almost over and I don’t know what is going on with me. It seems like I am all alone and no one is looking out for me, like I am so alone. I am really lonely.

Stuart Smith  is so involved with his girlfriend  and only comes home to sleep. We never have prayers together. Terry Haake  is really immature  and selfish. I’m so glad I don’t have to share a room with him.

I don’t even have much to do with Mike Allred anymore. He’s so involved in school and I am busy all the time with student teaching and taking all these useless block classes

I don’t know why I am doing the things I am. Wickedness has really taken over me and I lost my spirituality.  I have been going out to Pleasant Grove more and more after school and at night. I seem to be out of control.  All the old behavior I have tried so hard to suppress and repress keeps coming back. I don’t know what else to do.  I have no one I can talk to and I dare not say anything to my Branch President or he might do what President C Terry Warner did to me years ago and I could not go through that pain again.

Additional Material

In Peoria Illinois President Gerald Ford told an audience of university students that while he has no easy answers to the question of Gay rights, he tries to be understanding of people who are different from him.

6 March 1976 Saturday

I stayed in this evening and listened to the radio while everyone else was gone. This song “Lonely Night” by Captain and Tennille made me so melancholy but when I heard “All By Myself” by Eric Carmen while lying in the dark bedroom, I decided I needed to get out or go crazy.

I don’t know if I should be writing this but I met a really fascinating man tonight. His name is Larry Copenhagen.  I met him at the Pleasant Grove rest stop. He asked if I wanted to join him for a drive so we left there and we drove out on some deserted farm road to make out. 

I was so nervous but so hungry for his affection.  He cuddled me and held me for hours and all we did was kiss.  That all I wanted to do. When we were done making out he asked me if I would see him again. My heart was in control and so I said yes although my head was saying I was making a big mistake which would lead to me being hurt.

I came home afterwards feeling so guilty having been intimate with Larry but also feeling alive. How could I break all my covenants so quickly. The song “Love Hurts” by Nazareth keeps playing in my head over and over. 

Additional Material

Carlyle D. Marsden was outed 6 March 1976. This led him to take his own life on March 8, 1976. He was 54 years old. Carlyle Davenport Marsden was born on December 9, 1921, in Parowan, Utah. He was the son of William and Della Jane Marsden. He was survived by his widow, three sons and two daughters. He had been a music teacher at Eisenhower Junior High School in the Granite School District in Salt Lake, and also taught at Brigham Young University. He was a veteran of World War II, serving in the Army in the Pacific Theater. He attended the College of Southern Utah in Cedar City for two years, and received his bachelor degree from Brigham Young University and his Masters degree from the University of Utah. He also did graduate work at Claremont College, Occidental and Cal State in Los Angeles, California.  He had filled an LDS Mission in the New England States and had been a member of the bishopric and high council in Pomona, Calif. He had been music regional representative, stake and ward organist, and stake choir director. He had also been Sunday School superintendent in Salt Lake City. Carlyle is buried at the Kaysville City Cemetery in Utah.

Carlyle's grandson Douglas Stewart was a gay Mormon and sadly committed suicide on March 8, 2006, exactly 30 years to the day his grandfather committed suicide. The Tribute is by former student “I recently came across the information in your website (Affirmation) listing Carlyle D. Marsden as one of the LDS members that committed suicide back in 1976 after he was outed as a homosexual.  I am writing to tell you that in 1963-1964 he was my music teacher at Fremont Junior High school in Pomona California. I am now 56 years old and living in Salem, Oregon but I will never forget that man. He taught the best vocal music class I have ever attended. He had written an arrangement for a song called “Master, the Tempest is Raging” I have a recording of our choir singing it with him directing, somewhere deep in my garage.  Mr. Marsden was a great believer in the use of the diaphragm when singing and I have since taught this method, just as he did, to my students. I was horrified that this gentle, wonderful, talented, man ended his life feeling so alone and ashamed of himself. I have remembered him so well and so long because of his dedication and talent as a music teacher. He was caring, and nurturing. He gave us strength just by his presence. I can recount far too many wonderful things that he said and did for us as a class to even begin to put them here in this letter to you. I just though you should know that what you have done on your website is a wonderful memorial to these people. There is not a week that goes by that I have not thought of Mr. Marsden since my junior high school years. I always wanted to be just like him, calm, cool collected and kind to all.  I hope his family knows how many lives he touched in a good and gentle way, yet with the strength of a great leader. So very sad to hear his life ended this way. Thank you for your excellent work in making this horrible truth known.  Jeff

 

9 March 1976 Tuesday

Larry Copenhagen called me this evening and asked if I would meet him up at Pleasant Grove. I know I shouldn’t have gone but I did. I left my Pinto at the rest stop there and got into his Chevy Vega. We drove out into some farmer’s field west of I-15 and parked. He kissed me all over and I let him make love to me. It was so cold out that our breaths fogged up all the windows. I didn’t get home until after 11.  Only Terry Haake was up watching TV.  He asked where I had been and I just said studying with a friend but he looked at me suspiciously because I was kind of messed up and probably smelled of sex. I took a late shower which I never do. 

 

10 March 1976 Wednesday

I don’t know what is going on with me. Mr. Prestwich is slowly taking back his classes now that my time at Lakeridge is almost over. He said I was the best student teacher he ever had and that made me happy but I feel guilty over what I have been doing with Larry Copenhagen. It’s such a sin but I finally feel alive again when I am with him.

            In the afternoon, after school let out I went to my Classroom Management with Bro. Holder wrapping up our Reality Therapy Role Playing.  I don’t think he approves of how I am handling my 6^th grade class.

            Calvin Fudge called me before going to class about some genealogy questions. I really like Calvin but feel unworthy of his high opinion of me. If he only knew how I have fallen. 

 

11 March 1976 Thursday

After leaving Lakeridge, I went up on campus and looked up Larry Copenhagen’s schedule in the administration building. I found his early evening class in the Jesse Knight Building.  I wrote him a sexy love note telling him how wonderful he was the other night and wanted to give it to him. So  I sat on the floor waiting for his class to end. When he came out of class and saw me, he smiled and I was so thrilled to see him again.  I gave him the letter and said I had to run off for an appointment.  Larry turns me on just seeing him. He’s about 6’4” thinning strawberry blond hair and so sexy. 

 

12 March 1976 Friday

Larry Copenhagen called me today and wanted to meet me up on campus.  There we talked about what is going on between us. We had a serious talked and I found out then that he doesn’t have a roommate like he said but is married and has a son.  I don’t know yet how that makes me feel about where we are at in this secret romance. 

He said at first he was so worried about me being security and afraid that I had been sent to entrap him.  He had been pulled in once before by security and they had been monitoring him ever since.  He even thinks that his telephone is being tapped.  I don’t know what to think. I told him that I was pulled in by security last Christmas and had to see a church psychiatrist in order to stay in school.  I know it’s wrong what we are doing but my feelings for Larry are so strong. 

We left campus and drove down to Springville in his Vega, and found a secluded place behind the drive-in there, where we made out for hours.  He drives me crazy with hickies he gives me. I love the feel of his lips on my body. I really love Larry but how can I go before the Lord now? I am so miserable. 

 

13 March 1976 Saturday

Larry Copenhagen called me today and we went out on another date. Mike Allred was curious at whom I was going out with but I dashed before he could interrogate me. Larry picked me up in the parking lot at the Ward house by the Fairmount and we found some deserted country farm road south of Springville. There we made out, made love, and then just talked about us while I was in his arms.  It is like fireworks whenever I am with him.  Nothing seems to matter when I am with him.

            On the radio is the song Oh What a Night by the Four Seasons came on. Yes, Oh what a night. 

 

15 March 1976 Monday

I have had to start wearing turtle neck sweaters to cover the hickies on my neck from Larry Copenhagen's passion. Mike Allred is getting suspicious about why I am gone out at night all the time. I have stopped going to church or going to Family Home Evening.  All I want to do is be with Larry.

 

16 March 1976 Tuesday

School doesn’t seem as important to me as being with Larry Copenhagen. The weather has turned really spring like in the mid 50’s. Meg Madsen asked if everything was okay with me because she said they hardly see me anymore. I just said I am really busy with student teaching even though that is about over. She said she missed our long visits. I feel bad about that but I am rarely at the apartment. I am either at Lakeridge or seeing Larry up on campus.

            Today he said that he thinks he is being followed by security. I hope not. I don’t know what to think except we have to be so careful. It’s hard not to sit close near him and stare at him.

Additional Material

The Daily Herald (Provo Utah) Page 1 14  Nabbed at 1-15 Rest Stops Homosexual Suspects Arrested in Utah County by Larry Weist. Eight men were arraigned in the Pleasant Grove Precinct Justice Court Monday afternoon on charges of lewdness and sodomy stemming from alleged homosexual activity at the two rest stops on I-15 north of Orem.

Four defendants pleaded guilty to the charges three asked for trials in Orem City courts and one defendant asked for a trial in the Pleasant Grove Justice Court.

Four of the defendants are Orem residents and one each is from Provo, Springville, Logan and Cleveland in emery County. Most of the men are in their 30’s although the oldest is 50 and the youngest is 22 years old.

Two of the suspects were arrested and charged with an act of sodomy. One of them a 54 year old Salt Lake County man died of a self inflicted gunshot to the chest, two days after his arrest, according to Serge Moore, state medical examiner.

Judge Keith Anderson cleared his court of the press and public in Monday’s arraignment saying later he did so because he did not want to see the accused tried in the press.

Orem City Prosecutor Frank Butterfield indicated today that Section 78-7-3 and 4of the Utah State criminal Code says specifically that “sittings must be public” in the courts of justices of the peace with a few exceptions. None of which involve charges of homosexuality.

Mr. Anderson said he had asked Utah County Attorney Noell Wooten to research the matter for him and would allow the press and public to be present at next week’s arraignment if the law says he has to.

Investigation into homosexual activities at the rest stops was begun two months ago after the Highway Patrol office in Orem and the Sheriff’s office in Provo received complaints from tourists and other travelers about their not being able to use the toilet facilities.

It was decided at a meeting of local police chiefs to do what was necessary to clear up the situation and make the rest rooms again more available to travelers according to Sheriff Mack Holley.

Sheriff Holley said the rest stops have been plagued by people who have used them for unnatural sex acts. Property damage to the buildings has also been caused by those people, he added.

With the numerous complaints from citizens and the fact that the situation has been getting progressively worse in recent weeks, Sheriff Holley assigned several men two months ago to begin a preliminary investigation and conduct surveillance of anyone spending an inordinate amount of time at the rest stops.

One the first weekend of this month, a combined force of Sheriff officers and BYU security officers with back up assistance from Highway patrol officers made nine arrests at the two rest stops.

            Last weekend the officers arrested five additional suspects.

Sherriff Holley said the problem at the rest stops proved more extensive and widespread than at first thought. He said after a few weeks of surveillance the officers documented by name through license plates more than 100 men who frequent the rest stops and are believed to engage in homosexual activity.

            The combined force of sheriff officers and BYU officers only worked the rest stops for three nights to make a total of 14 arrests. “I’m sure there will be people who think that we must have something better for our deputies to do but the situation at the rest stops got to the point where there were so many citizen complaints that we had to do something, “ said Sheriff Holley.

The Sheriff added that law agencies always have trouble with outdoor rest stops in warm weather but are probably having trouble with the freeway rest stops because they are heated.

BYU security had reports of students being involved in homosexual activities at the rest stops and when they found out the sheriff’s office was taking action, they wanted to get involved according to the sheriff.

Highway Patrol facilities were used after the arrests for booking and photographing of the suspects.

Officers were used as decoys in the case because a recent law prohibits electronic bugging or photographing of public rest rooms. Such devices would be of little use anyway according to one detective because all signaling between the suspects was nonverbal.

The officers said they hadn’t had enough experience in this field to know all the signs and signals homosexuals use to contact each other but they were able to contact more than enough suspects by just “tapping their toes” reported to be a method of signaling.

One Sheriff officer said that for every one suspect they arrested they had to let three go, “There were so many of them out there Friday night, it was like fish packed in a barrel,” he said.

Sheriff Holley said the officers have plans to continue surveillance at the rest stops and officers will be patrolling the area with the idea of reducing homosexual activity at the stops

County law enforcement officers involved agreed that the result of driving homosexuals from the rest stops will drive them to other places such as city and state parks when the weather gets warmer. 

 

17 March 1976 Wednesday

Another beautiful day here. All the snow is completely gone and it feels good to be outside more. The kids at school are getting really antsy. It’s St. Patrick’s Day so there's lots of pinching and hitting. I forget sometimes what little kids these 9^th graders are. Little kids in big bodies. I am doing less and less teaching in the classroom which gives me more time to work on my objectives. LaMar Sawyer is a good guy. I wonder if he would like me as much as he does if he knew what I do after class.

I miss being with Larry Copenhagen so much but he’s been busy, getting caught up with his school work and things at home. I called him tonight but he said he couldn’t talk but would meet me tomorrow.  

 

18 March 1976 Thursday

I feel kind of let down knowing that my actual student teaching is coming to an end. But I sure could use the time to catch up on school work. I looked forward to seeing Larry Copenhagen tonight but he called and said he couldn’t make it because his little boy was sick and his wife had to go to some Springville Ward meeting. I was really disappointed but understood. We both are living secret lives. It will be dangerous if we are caught. 

 

19 March 1976 Friday

Today was the last day of my student teaching assignment at Lakeridge Junior High School and I have really mixed feelings about it. I’ll be glad to have it over with and get it behind me but I’ll really miss being at Lakeridge and having something definitely going on every day. I’ll miss the routine I suppose when my life is so chaotic right now. I spent much of the day finalizing grades. I’ve had, on the most part, a positive experience student teaching because I had a tremendous co-operating teacher. I can’t say enough about Mr. Prestwich who really took me under his wing and built up my self esteem.

            It was almost depressing saying goodbye to my 6^th Period. Little Theresa Christensen looked like she as losing her best friend and that made me almost start to cry but I held it together. Kathy Nielsen and Susan Gearheart really played up the sentimentality of the occasion while I played it down, but still, it really go to me. When school was over Mr. Prestwich said that if I ever needed anything to come to him because he doesn’t forget his friends.

Afterwards, I hurried back to BYU to meet Larry Copenhagen so we could go to the movies on campus.  First he had to drop his car off for his wife so we used mine to go back to campus. Then we went to the weekend movie and watched “San Francisco” with Jeanette McDonald and Clark Gable. We held hands under the desks in the darken room so no one could see us. The movie was super and always one of my favorites. After that we spent some time in Springville making out and making love before I took him home at 9:00 tonight. I am so in love with Larry and I hate coming back to the atmosphere at the Fairmont.  

 

20 March 1976 Saturday

Today is Mom and Dad’s 30^th Anniversary. I called them this morning and talked to them for a while. They said everyone was fine out there in California.

About 8 this morning Kirk Rodney and I drove to the genealogy headquarters in Salt Lake City to show him how find things and work the microfilm machines. I had a miserable time because I’d rather had been in Provo  working on the English paper about Shakespeare’s Richard III that I said I’d do for Larry Copenhagen. But I had made this commitment to Kirk first, and what little honor I had left, I should keep my word.

After Kirk and I came back down, I finished the paper and went up to BYU to meet Larry Copenhagen. He had a humanity class commitment to watch Shakespeare’s King Lear. He was acting kind of distant and I was depressed and moody much of the time with him.  I have to get my head on straight.  Right now it is so screwed up. I’m destroying everything I’ve worked so hard to achieve in the Church being with Larry. 

After the show I took Larry home in the Pinto to Springville, without us going and making out. Then I went straight home to my apartment at the Fairmont. I get so mixed up over what  I feel and how I should feel.  I know I’m going to have to pay a terrible price for such folly but only God knows what’s in my heart.

My favorite song out right down on the radio is Bohemian Rhapsody by a group called Queen. In the news Patty Hearst was convicted of armed robbery in the bank holdup. I am sick of hearing about Patty Hearst.  

 

21 March 1976 Sunday

I told Mike Allred I wasn’t going to church today that I didn’t feel well. I didn’t. When the rest of my roommates came home from Sunday School I took off driving down through Spanish Fork Canyon. I didn’t want to be in the apartment and just wanted to be alone with my thoughts. The weather is too nice this first day of spring so I drove down to see if I could find this hot springs that Larry told me about on the side of the mountain. Driving south made me just want to be held in Larry’s arms.  

            In the news, the paper said that the Vatican said the shroud of Turin which they claim is the burial cloth of Jesus is authentic. Also Congress is expected, for the first time, to authorize a flu vaccine to prevent an epidemic like the Spanish flu during World War I. Plagues are a sign of the end times and I am so unprepared for Jesus Christ’s return. 

 

22 March 1976 Monday

I spent most of the day in a fit of lethargy. I am so tired and confused at the mess my life is in but I’m contented, at least for now, being with Larry Copenhagen. He dropped by today when the other guys were in classes but he didn’t stay long. Larry  just wanted to say hi and say that he misses me and that he’d see me tomorrow.

            I went out to Orem Junior High this afternoon to meet with the Principal Mr. Baum. There might be an opening there next fall. I did not like that school at all compared with Lakeridge.

            I also went out to Orem this evening because Mr. Prestwich had invited me to have dinner with his family and to spend Family Home Evening with them. I was treated very warmly and it was good to be out there but I felt like I was living a lie when they asked me to share my conversion story and bare my testimony. 

What a conflict there is in my heart; to love the Lord and yet be in the depth of sin, caught in the filth and mire of it.  My whole life now is a lie and a sham but I don’t know how to turn my heart around without paying a terrible price which I could not bear right now. My heart says that if pain is the price of love, so be it, but what an awful cost. 

 

23 March 1976 Tuesday

I met Larry Copenhagen in the Heber  J. Grant Building at BYU while he had to wait to take a test at the testing center.  I just sat on the floor by the stairs with him.  I must have been beaming at him because I noticed that this one guy walked by and gave us a dirty look; like he knew what we were up to.  I don’t care anymore.  I love Larry so much but I am so confused.  I am waiting for it all to catch up with us because sin always does.

 I do love the Lord but why do I feel like this?  I feel so happy, so whole and complete with Larry but when he’s gone I feel like I’ve betrayed everything I believe in. Mike Allred has been leaving a copy of President Kimball’s “The Miracle of Forgiveness” around the apartment so I guess he knows what I have been doing. 

Larry said that BYU security is definitely following him and tapping his phone so he only calls me from phone booths now. He said that we can’t meet on campus any more. It’s too risky.  He said that he heard that security is making a list of people on campus that are going to be turned in for expulsion.

Additional Material

The Daily Herald, Provo. Utah page 2

Lewdness Arrest Results Reported. Pleasant Grove- Three of the five men arrested over the weekend of March 13 on charges of lewdness stemming from alleged homosexual activity at the I-15 rest stops north of Orem, requested a transfer Monday from Pleasant Grove Precinct Court to Orem City Court.

The forth man, an Orem resident, appeared before Pleasant Grove Justice of the Peace Keith Anderson and was granted until Thursday to consult with an attorney.

A fifth man, a resident of American Fork, was scheduled to appear for arraignment before Judge Anderson today.

None of the five has entered a formal plea to the charges.

The three men that requested a transfer to Orem City Court are scheduled to appear at 10 a.m. for arraignment proceedings. Two of the three are Provo Residents  and a third is from Orem.

The five ranging from age 18 to 60 were among 14 arrested by area law officers over a three day period earlier this month. Of the nine other men arrested earlier, four pleaded guilty on March 15 to lewdness and were fined. Three requested trial in Orem City Court and one asked for a trial I Pleasant F\Grove  Justice Court.

            One died of a self-inflicted gunshot would two days after the arrest, according to Serge Moore, state medical examiner.

According to Utah County Sheriff’s Detective Dave Bateman, the investigation of alleged homosexual activities will continue but at a greatly reduced rate in terms of time and man power.

“It’s something we’re going to keep our finger on, “ he added.

 

25 March 1976 Thursday

I don’t know why but I bleached my hair blond today. It turned out more red than blond. I guess I wanted to be more like Larry Copenhagen. He had bleached out his hair the other day. Now my roommates really know something is up with me. I told everyone that it is for a play I am in. Now I’m lying too.  It was much colder today with a chill in the air.

I didn’t attend any classes tonight but instead stayed home and watched "Welcome Back Kotter" tonight. First time I stayed home to watch TV in a while.

Additional Material

Jimmy Carter's nephew William Carter Spann began a 10-year prison sentence for armed robbery of several Gay businesses in San Francisco "for chump change". One of his targets was the Mint Tavern, a San Francisco gay bar.  Spann was a bisexual heroin user in and out of prison for most of his life. At one point he was so broke in jail he had to borrow stamps from cellmate Charles Manson. President Carter once wrote to Spann to suggest that he not apologize for any negative publicity. ''You are part of our family and we are certainly not thinking of disowning you.  'We all just wish you well.'' The Jimmy Carter paid for his nephew's methadone treatments. Spann died in 1997 of AIDS and the family asked that donations be made to the San Francisco AIDS Foundation client services division.

 

26 March 1976 Friday

Some really bad news. Talking to Mr. Prestwich today he said that there was a major arrest out in Pleasant Grove of homosexuals at the rest stop. Mr. Prestwich was very indignant that homosexuals even exist in Utah County. He said some BYU professor was caught in the net and killed himself with a shot gun because he couldn’t face the shame.  On campus I read in the Daily Universe on the front page about the arrest of over 100 homosexuals at the rest stop in Pleasant Grove.  The paper said that many of them are BYU students.  I am just sick about wondering whether security will come and pick me up.  Larry is the only person who knows my name so maybe I’m safe.  But Larry said that security has made a list of known homosexuals on campus from their records and from Branch Presidents reports.  I hope my being caught in the Wilkinson Center last December won’t cause me more trouble.  I don’t want to get kicked out of school so close to getting my teaching degree.  I don’t dare call Larry if he’s phone is being tapped but I need to know if he’s okay.

 

27 March 1976 Saturday

About noon Larry came over looking super depressed. He said to me "Ben I ain’t going to make it".  I took him into my bedroom where we could talk in private. He said that he was picked up at the Pleasant Grove rest stop and was turned into security. In the bedroom Larry then told me that he swallowed a bottle of aspirin about 100 of them and had come over here to pass out and to be near me.  I was stunned.  My worst fears were realized.  My first reaction was not to believe it.  He wouldn’t actually commit suicide but I knew that he had tried.  I started to cry until I could get a hold of myself and start thinking what to do.  

He would not let me call Utah Valley and struggled to leave when he thought I was going to.  He’s 6’4” and we struggled some to keep him from leaving  until I convinced him that I would not do anything which might drive him away.  He finally said that I could call Dr. Jenkins, the school psychiatrist but that was no help because he wasn’t in the office. 

I called my Branch President Paul Thompson but he was at the temple.  My roommates Mike and Terry knew something desperate was up but avoided the situation and separated from it not wanting to get involved.  I was frantic.  It didn’t seem real like a fantasy but it was too deadly real.  

I convinced him to walk with me outside hoping to keep him awake and we walked about a mile in the blowing snow.  I was hoping the cold and the exercise might help.  I didn’t know what to do and I felt so helpless. 

Finally he agreed to go for a drive up the canyon where he was hoping to die there but I thought I could rush him to the hospital when he became too weak to resist me any longer which I did at 4 when he started to get violently sick.  His ears were ringing, stomach cramping, and eyes dilating.  I entered him through the emergency and told them that he had an overdose of medicine and they promptly gave his ipecac to throw up.  

From 4:30 to 6:30 he was heaving blood and everything while I paced outside, my mind in a daze.   After he had thrown so much up they said they’d have to admit him to the hospital and keep him over night because so much aspirin had been absorbed already.  There was nothing more I could do but go tell his wife Ann that he was in the hospital. 

Mike Allred drove Larry’s car down to Springville and I told Ann that Larry was in the hospital because of some reaction to some medicine.  I then went back to the hospital to be with Larry.  His wife came down about 7:30 and stayed until about 8 this evening.  I told her that if there’s anything I can do to help please let me. 

Larry’s nurse asked me to stay by Larry’s side since his wife had left so I did until 11:00 at night when they made me leave.  I wiped the sweat from his burning forehead as the aspirin burned through his system.  Nobody came to see Larry but his wife, BYU security, and a BYU psychiatrist. No friends, no Bishop, or Elder Quorum President.

            I went home a very tired boy. 

 

28 March 1976 Sunday

At 6 this morning I called the hospital to see what Larry Copenhagen’s condition was because they had told me last night there was a possibility he would slip away during the night. But praise God, they said his condition was satisfactory. 

Today is Fast and Testimony because next weekend is General Conference. I only went to Priesthood because I was too anxious not to be with Larry.

 I then went down to the hospital at 11 this morning and stayed until 4 in the afternoon during the entire visiting hours. Larry was looking better and had some color back though he was still hooked up to an I.V.

He wanted me to leave before his Bishop came back to see him but he asked me to come back at 7:30 this evening which I did. On the way back to the hospital I hit a dog who ran out of the dark in front of my car. I am sure I killed it and I just felt sick and awful. I had never hit a dog before but I was desperate to get back to Larry.

            I stayed with Larry at the hospital until 9:30 at night when he fell asleep.

I was in a severe state of depression myself when I came home. I went into the front room turned the lights off and sat in the dark.  I wanted to cry. I needed to cry but I wouldn’t let myself. I just stared off into the darkness trying to feel nothing.

When Mike Allred came out of his room, he asked about things and asked if he could do anything for me. I said it was a little too late now. He asked again and I said "What is there between you and me? You washed your hands of me like Kathy Ausderau did." I then said no more to Mike and that is how our friendship died in that darken room.  

 

29 March 1976 Monday

Larry was released from the hospital and his wife Ann came and took him home. About 3:30 in the afternoon I drove down to Springville to see how he was. I stayed until 10:30 at night.  I got to know his wife pretty well and as we talked, we took care of Larry.  I played with Jason their little boy and was general company for them which they needed.

 

30 March 1976 Tuesday

I am still mentally, emotionally, and physically exhausted.  I just couldn’t get up until 10:00 this morning. I went back down to Springville and spent the afternoon. Larry was looking so much better.

 

31 March 1976 Wednesday 1976

The consequences of my sinful actions will have an eternal effect on me. This morning I went back to Lakeridge to go with Mr. Prestwich’s 9^th grade class on a field trip. He acted like he was really glad to see me. And I was glad to be back at Lakeridge to take my mind off of my troubles. The 9^th grade girls made me this huge poster size car that had a chocolate Easter Bunny inside.  Unfortunately somehow the poster got thrown out which upset set me but still it was really neat. The kids said they really missed me.

            We went out through Provo Canyon and hiked to the top of this trail to see where Orem get’s its water supply.  We also went out to Utah Lake  to go through the Sewage Treatment plant. It was a good day. I really enjoyed being active again.

            After coming home, I went over to Larry Copenhagen’s about 6 this evening and stayed until almost 8. I had to leave because my appointment with President Thompson was at 8:30.  I was really scared to go and wanted some support from Larry so that is why I went to see him.  However I was really upset when he wouldn’t let me talk out some of my fears and anxieties out.  He didn’t want to hear anything more about our relationship.  

I left Springville depressed and drove up to President Thompson’s office scared to death but determined to do the right thing. I was surprised that President Thompson only wanted to see me because I had missed so much church and teaching my Sunday School class. However being in his office it was like the floodgates opened and everything came out. After telling President Thompson everything, I came away feeling so void and devastated.

In the news court allowed Karen Ann Quinlan respirator to be removed. She had been in a coma for a year. I feel like my respirator has been removed and I just want to die.