1
April 1976 Thursday
I
felt so shattered and depressed today. I’m sick and tired of hurting so
much. I am just mentally fatigued. I need someone so badly to lean upon and
there’s no one. I went up to campus to
get some things accomplished but did very little. I really feel like I am
having a nervous breakdown.
At noon I located Larry Copenhagen
on campus so I went and talked to
him. We went to the Cougareat in the
Wilkinson Center for a bite to eat and I told him how President Thompson said
that there might be a court action. He seemed distant and was worried that we
were being watched. He told me that the only way security would let him stay in
school if he came clean and turned over a list of names of people he knew were
homosexuals. He said he had to do it but
he refused to give them my name.
I left him and went home but I hate
being there so by 3 in the afternoon I knew I needed to get away so I skipped
classes and drove up to Salt Lake City to see if I could spend the night with
Piper and Richard Holmes. I am so confused and mixed up. I even went and
visited Shauna Smith, my old family sister from last fall term, who kind of
liked me. I just didn’t want to be alone. We talked a little but whatever we
had was in the past and I only stayed about a half hour. I didn’t have anything
really to tell her about kids in the Branch.
Piper and Richard were really good
about putting me up. They could tell I was an emotional wreck but they didn’t pry. They watched
"Helter Skelter" about the Charles Manson Family murder cult. I kind
of watched it in a daze.
When I am alone I am so melancholy and I
hurt so badly that I’m almost suicidal.
Sometimes there feels like there is no hope and I get so tired of
suffering and carrying a burden that seems to be killing me. I just hurt all the time. Sometimes I feel like my heart is going to
break because it aches so bad.
Additional Material
· The Salt Lick Paper announced
“Recently there has been a series of arrests of Gay people in the Orem/ Provo
area.”
3
April 1976 Saturday
I
want to be with Larry Copenhagen but I don’t dare call him. Mike Allred and
Terry Haake was watching General Conference while I stayed in my room listening
to music. I am glad Stuart Smith is gone all the time. I prayed a lot today
asking for forgiveness.
I guess two additional scriptures were
added to the Standard Works for the first time in 70 years. One is a revelation
by Joseph F Smith who saw Jesus Christ go to the spirit prison and the other
was by Joseph Smith about salvation for people who died without knowledge of
the Gospel. President Kimball said there’s going to be a Temple built in Mexico
City. The weather was so nice today near 60 degrees.
9
April 1976 Friday
What
a dream like experience. One minute I am teaching high school in Randolph and
the next minute I am back at the Fairmount Apartments.
I was up rather early to pack up
everything to take down to Randolph High School because we will leave for Provo
from there.
I only had to teach two classes
today, 1st and 2nd periods. In both classes I gave the students a form that
they could fill out to evaluate my performance this week.
When it was time to leave,
fortunately I didn’t have to go back on the bus but rather a kid I was rooming
with had his own car and he agreed to take LaMar Sawyer, Kathy Nielsen, Susan
Gearheart and me home to Provo with him.
Randolph was a good experience and
it taught me that I really don’t think I want to teach in rural areas. I’ve
gotten use to such luxuries as supermarkets, shopping centers, and movie
theaters.
Sweetwater Resort was really something
else though with its loft bedrooms, wood paneling, color TVs, dishwashers, a
fire place, a heated pool and Jacuzzi and maid service. I sure do miss all
that.
We left Randolph at 1:30 and we
were home in wonderful Provo by 3:30 in the afternoon. The bus wasn’t even
supposed to get in until 5 with our things so I went to the apartment and
cleaned up by taking a long hot shower. When the bus arrived I had to meet with
the supervisors to be signed off and pick up my clothes and then my adventure
was over.
At 6 in the evening I drove down to
Springville to see Larry Copenhagen and his wife Ann. I wanted to tell them all
about my experiences teaching in Randolph but to my surprise they were in the
middle of moving to another house across the street. I stayed until midnight
helping them with their move.
10
April 1976 Saturday
This
morning I was up at 7:30 evening though I didn’t get in last night until late.
The room was so bright from the morning sun shining through the bedroom window.
I was still rather tired from all I did yesterday.
Mom called me this morning to wish
me happy birthday. I am 25 years old now, a quarter of a century. I was able to
speak to my niece and nephew, Denise and James Wachs. Denise sure is a talker.
Mom said she would pay my way down to California for Easter if I could make it.
I sure hope I can but it depends on if I find work. Mom said everyone out there
was just doing fine.
After talking to mom, I went down
to Springville to help Larry and Ann Copenhagen finish moving. They sure had a
lot to move. I stayed for lunch and finished helping them move until 4 this
afternoon.
When I came back to Provo, I saw
that I had birthday cards in the mail from Lee Russell, and Shauna Smith. Even
sweet Kathy Nielsen brought over a birthday card for me. That really touched my
heart.
Meg Madsen wanted me to come next
door to see her. She said she was really worried about me and could tell that I
have been a mess. We had a good long talk about Mike Allred and my other
roommates and she told me how things were with her and Steve.
Camie Springer called this evening
and wanted to know when I could come over for dinner tomorrow. I said I didn’t
know for sure because I couldn’t remember what time I was supposed to meet with
President Thompson.
So instead Camie came over at 9
this evening and we went up to McDonald’s to see her roommate Vickie Baum who
works there and to get a bite to eat. Camie is so sweet to me. We had a good
long talk about the Gospel and how much it means in our lives.
I didn’t get home until 11:30
tonight. So that’s how I spent my 25th birthday. The only song I like out right now is David
Bowie’s "Golden Years".
11
April 1976 Sunday
I
had my Bishop Court today with the 43rd Branch President Thompson, and his
counselors Lamar Perkins, and Mike Nieder.
They interviewed me about Larry Copenhagen and our affair. It was
extremely humiliating and devastating. I thought it was so odd when they asked
me whether I had my garments on or not when we had sex and all kinds on other
embarrassing questions.
I had admired Bro. Perkins so much and
it killed my soul for him to know how intimate I had been with Larry. They
wanted to know whether we had intercourse and I said we hadn’t, just kissing
and oral sex. It was extremely degrading.
The decision of the Bishop Court was
that I would be disfellowshipped for conduct unbecoming a Latter Day Saint and
for embarrassing the Church. President Thompson said that I wasn’t going to be
excommunicated because he shared with me that his father had just been
excommunicated from the church and he knew how painful and devastating it was
on his entire family.
I was also kicked out of my Branch and not allowed to
attend because the Church had made it a policy that those guilty of homosexual
behavior were not allowed to attend BYU branches. That was painful because I
won’t get to have President Thompson monitor my progress of repentance. He was kind enough to say he would not turn
in my court action into BYU’s standard’s office until the term ends in two
weeks.
I wonder why Larry Copenhagen got to
keep his membership in tact while I am disfellowshipped. I feel flattened.
13
April 1976 Tuesday
I
want to go see Larry Copenhagen but that’s not a good idea. All anyone is
talking about on campus is this guy named Douglas A. Wallace who was
excommunicated from the Church last Sunday for ordaining a Negro into the
church's priesthood without any authorization. At least I wasn’t
excommunicated.
17
April 1976 Saturday
I
drove around a lot trying to figure out what is going on with me. I really
can’t afford the gas but if I stay home I will go nuts. I drove down to Springville to drive by Larry
Copenhagen’s house this evening. Of course I didn't dare stop by.
The only song I like is Queen’s Bohemian
Rhapsody. "I need to get right out of here". "Nothing really
matters to me". Wickedness was never happiness.
23
April 1976 Friday
Terry
Haake left out this morning to go back to New Mexico. I was glad to see him go.
He said he wants to go on a Mission if his parents will let him. Maybe that
will help him grow up. He’s so inconsiderate I hope so. Mike Allred and Terry
went out to lunch together. They didn’t ask me to go with them but just as well
because I don’t have any money and what more is there to say to them?
So the Winter Term is over and everybody
is making an exodus from Provo and I guess so is my time at BYU. I ended my
time here in disgraced mired in sin.
24
April 1976 Saturday
Mike
Allred packed up all his things and left for Wyoming this afternoon. I stayed
in my room so I wouldn’t have to watch him pack up and say goodbye. He didn’t
bother coming in to see me either. What more is there to say?
After he left I walked around the
empty apartment. I felt so lonely that I went back to my room and cried. All
seems so pointless since I have failed my Heavenly Father.
Additional Material
The
Imperial Court of the Wasatch Empire of Utah attended the 3rd Annual Coronation
of the Imperial Court of the Rocky Mountain Empire at Denver Colorado. Utah’s
court entrance was voted as the most elegant entrance at the Ball. Emperor
Pepper was the first female emperor in any of the Imperial Courts. Court
Members attending were Empress 1 Deanna, Emperor 1 Pepper, Princess Royale
Terry, Prince Royale Chad, Czarina Gordi, Czar Larry, Grand Duchess Jay, Grand
Duke Ron. It was announced there that the 2nd annual Utah Coronation was to be
held 20 Jan 1977.
26
April 1976 Monday
I
spent a good part of the morning and afternoon cleaning up after Camie
Springer’s birthday party yesterday. Afterwards I did go down to the
unemployment office and sign up for unemployment. I doubt if I will get any but
I guess it’s worth a try. I also interviewed for a job at Burger King here in
Provo for full time work. It pays $2.20 an hour. I sure hope I get it. The
manager said he’d let me know in a couple of days.
I was really feeling blue and lonely today. It does seem strange
and lonely without Mike Allred and Larry Copenhagen to share my thoughts with.
I went and bought some embroidering
thread to start making a quilted pillow in my spare time.
In the evening, all of a sudden,
these two guys started to move into the apartment. I was really surprised
because Meg Madsen hadn’t told me and I really thought I’d probably be alone here in Apartment 2 all summer like
I was last year.
Even though I was taken by surprise
I was delighted because they are really neat guys. Their names are Darryl and
Devon Neider and are cousins. Darryl is the younger brother of Mike Neider, the
former 2nd counselor to President Paul H Thompson. They told me that another
kid named Reed Nuttel will be moving in soon who I guess will share my bedroom.
30
April 1976 Friday
Today
was very strange. Reed Nuttel, my new roommate, drove me to Aamco to see how
much my car’s transmission was going to cost me to fix. They said the
transmission was burned up and it would cost me $220 to fix it. I don’t have
$220 to my name so I said unless they could work out some payment terms there
was no way I could afford to have it fixed. They said they would try to arrange
some credit and would let me know by noon.
Anyway I walked the four miles back
home, only stopping at the Deseret Industries to buy another muffin tin. From
there I walked down 5th west to Center Street then home to 9th East. I stopped
at a store on the way to buy some foam rubber to finish my pillow I am making.
At home Meg Madsen called me
because she was really upset with Steve again. So I spent all evening listening
to her letting her frustrations and feelings out. She doesn’t have any one else
to talk to, like me. We are all alone in Utah.
She wanted to get out of the apartment
so we took her kids to some show that was so dumb I can’t even remember the
name of it. But it gave Meg a chance to relax and take her mind off her
problems.
We didn’t get back home until 12:30
in the morning and Steve came in shortly after that. Steve and Meg have done so
much for me and been such good friends that this was the least I could do to show that I care.
Additional Material
The Gay Community Center Service Center closed its doors at 11 South 400 West due to financial difficulties. The 24 Hour crisis line was replaced with call forwarding. The phone line was kept going by Ray Hencke. The Gay Community Center closed because there was no support from bar owners other then Joe Redburn. They felt that the center was Joe Redburn’s and wouldn’t accept donation jars in their bars.
MAY 1976
1 May 1976 Saturday
After staying out so late last night with Meg Madsen, I didn’t get up until 10 this morning. Yesterday, Reed Nuttel and I said we would pull weeds around the apartments flower beds and clean up the yards for $2 an hour. Meg agreed so we started at 11 and finished at 3 in the afternoon.
Meg and Steve went into Salt Lake today for Steve’s grandmother’s birthday. I guess they have made up and have worked things out between them.
At 4 Linda Wright called and wanted me to take her up Provo Canyon. Even though I was pooped from pulling weeds, I agreed and said sure because I wanted to get away. The canyon has still not completely greened up from winter but is starting a little. It was still neat to be out in the canyon. We went out to Vivian Park and hiked around some
I was home to the apartment by 6 this evening and I watched some TV until 8:30 when Meg wanted to go out and get some dinner since Steve was working. I gave her a check for May’s rent. I only have $125 left to live on until I can find work.
I drove her car down to Der Weinersnitcel where we bought some hot dogs for supper. Meg has come down with laryngitis and can hardly talk after having fought with Steve yesterday. I spent the evening over at the Madsen’s talking to Meg about Steve Madsen, Mike Allred, and Larry Copenhagen until after midnight when Steve came home. I finally made it to bed at 1:00 in the morning and tried not to wake Reed.
The number 1 song right now is :Let Your Love Flow" by the Bellemy Brothers. Other songs in the top ten I like right now are Maxine Nightingale’s "Right Back Where We Started From", John Sebastian’s "Welcome Back", Peter Frampton’s "Show Me the Way", and "Fooled Around and Fell in Love" by Elvin Bishop.
2 May 1976 Sunday
Today was kind of special. I was feeling kind of depressed in the morning for some reason. Reed Nuttel let me borrow his ten speed to peddle up to the Law School for my appointment with President Thompson. We talked awhile about where my head is at, and of what I am going through. I felt good about our meeting. President Thompson invited me to attend the 43rd Branch’s opening social this Friday even though I am not actually a member of that Branch anymore. I want to go anyway.
Sometime this week I’ve got to make an appointment to see Bro. Payne, the church psychologist that President Thompson wants me to see.
It was a bright beautiful sunny day and I felt kind of guilty about feeling so good about enjoying riding the bike today on the Sabbath.
When I arrived home, the Elders Quorum President and his first counselor from the 22nd Provo Ward came over to invite me to church there. That was really special to me. Their Sunday School starts at 1:30 in the afternoon; and Sacrament was at 2:15 because it was Fast and Testimony Sunday. LaMar Sawyer and his fiancée Joan was there.
In the evening I worked on a quilt I am making for my sister Donna’s baby she’s having this summer.
Mom called to find out what was happening with the Pinto. I told her I really didn’t know until tomorrow.
I am getting to know my roommate Reed Nuttel better. I like him. He’s a really nice guy and considerate.
3 May 1976 Monday
I went up on campus this morning to get a copy of my grades. I got a C+ in health, a pass in my student teaching but Bro. Kay gave me an E which is failing and I had an incomplete in Bro. Holder’s class.
I called Bro. Holder up to find out why he gave me an incomplete and he said evidently he never got my end of term paper that I turned into his office. He said he would change my grade as so as he saw the paper. I left it with his assistant so who knows what he did with it. Bro. Holder also wants me to do another Reality Therapy Session with him, the jerk. How can I when I am not allowed to attend BYU anymore. I didn’t want to tell him that.
Aamco said that my Pinto would be ready by this evening when I called them. Devon Neider said he’s take me there so we went there at 6 but the car was still not ready. I was so upset because I had a job interview with Michael Call’s Genealogy Salt Lake organization headquarters in Salt Lake. I was supposed to see him tonight in Orem so I called LaMar Sawyer up, since he’s my home teacher, and asked him if he would take me to Orem for my interview. LaMar was such a neat guy and said he would.
I was really excited about the prospect of getting a job doing genealogical research but Bro. Call said he wanted to interview several more people before making a decision so I am left hanging. He said it would be a week before I hear anything.
4 May 1976 Tuesday
Devon Neider gave me a ride out to Aamco to pick up the Pinto. I paid them $50 and the rest on credit due by the end of the month. I called Mom up and she and dad said they would co-sign for a loan to pay for the transmission repair. So later I went to the Savings and Loans people and picked up papers to send down to Mom and Dad so I can get a loan to pay off the car.
I went down to the Unemployment office in the afternoon to look at the board for jobs but there wasn’t any that paid what I needed. I was bored being home so I decided to go sit in a park. Actually I was feeling really lonely with everyone gone. There’s a park called Exchange Park by the Provo River that is quiet and isolated that I like to go and sit in the Pavilion to read the news. There’s no one in the park except for a few guys using the men’s room there. I know what they are there for but so far I’m being good.
5 May 1976 Wednesday
I called Mike Call today to see if he had made a decision on the Genealogy position and he had given it to someone else. I was so discouraged. What is the point? I love Provo but I don’t think Provo loves me. I think people won’t hire me because I am seen as a BYU student who isn’t serious about living here.
This evening I had an appointment with Bishop Porter of the 22nd Ward to explain why I am not attending a BYU Branch anymore. I had to tell him that I was disfellowshipped for having a sexual relationship with a boy. I hated having to tell him that and felt ashamed all over again. He said that he would speak with President Thompson who has jurisdiction over my case and to the Ward Clerk about having my records transferred. .
In the News the church is trying to figure out how a supposedly written will of Howard Hughes ended up in the Church office building just doors down from President Kimball’s office.
6 May 1976 Thursday
It was gloomy and rainy so just stayed in and worked on my jean quilt. I watched Mary Hartman Mary Hartman this morning and the Dinah Shore Show in the afternoon. I am watching way too much TV. The only thing I watched in the evening was "Welcome Back Kotter". I wonder if I will ever get to be a teacher? It feels like I will never achieve anything I want I life. I need to start praying more to my Heavenly Father.
7 May 1976 Friday
It rained off and on again today so I didn’t go to the park. I have no one to talk to anymore and as much as I love Meg Madsen all she wants to do is rag on Steve and that get’s old because I don’t want to take sides. There’s been a huge Earthquake in Northern Italy. It’s a sign of the times I suppose.
8 May 1976 Saturday
I went over to President Thompson’s home to work in his yard pulling weeds because the weather cleared up and it was quite nice outside for a change. He had me work from 10 in the morning until I finished about 3 in the afternoon. His little girls were so cute bugging me. Sister Thompson fed me some lunch. I was paid $2 an hour so I made $10 which will help with gas money while looking for work.
I don’t know whether I will ever see President Thompson again as he is being released from being Branch President of the 43rd Branch. He is such a good man and has been very kind to me.
I stayed home this evening tired from working and watched The Jeffersons, Doc, The Mary Tyler Moore Show, the Bob Newhart Show and then The Carol Burnett Show before listening to music and working on my Jean Quilt.
9 May 1976 Sunday
I stayed up way too late until 3 in the morning working on the quilt I am making from old jeans I had cut up, stitching it all by hand. Just one section takes forever.
I went to Sunday School in the Provo 22nd Ward. It was a Mother’s Day program. I didn’t go to Priesthood nor to Sacrament. Instead I wrote Laura Edmondson a long letter to answer the letter she sent me and then made a cheesecake for Larry Copenhagen’s birthday. I also called Mom and wished her a Happy Mother’s Day and let her know that Pinto seems to be okay.
I drove down to Springville to see Larry at 3 this afternoon and to bring him a birthday cake. I made the cheesecake with a blueberry topping. I was kind of reluctant to give him it as it’s been a month since I last saw him and Ann.
It’s really hard to describe what I felt seeing him again. It was like I was going to see a stranger. It all was really different. He looked so wretched. I almost felt pity for him. I could tell he was curious to see me but not really interested in visiting. Nor could I tell whether he was glad or not to see me. He didn’t invite me into the house so I gave him the cheesecake, wished him happy birthday, then I left.
I knew then that whatever he felt for me was over and dead but I wanted to make sure myself and I did. I’m glad now that I went out to see him because I might have built up what we once had way out of proportion more than it was and somehow remember it as something it never was. The illusion of his love is gone although the memory lingers.
It was such a pretty day that I just didn’t want to go home so I went up Spanish Fork Canyon where I found the ruins of the old Castilla Hot Springs. I sat and watched for a while as other cars drove up and people got out to go into this old cement type bunker. Larry once told me about this place where a hot springs came out of the side of the mountain and it once was a popular resort but had burned down a long time ago.
When the people there drove off I climbed the side of the hill and went inside the bunker where there was a type of platform over a concrete cistern where a pipe from the mountain fed hot mineral water into a small pool. There were a lot of empty beer bottles and cans so I know kids come here to drink. I felt the water but didn’t go in. Some teenage boys came into the bunker then, so I left and drove back to Provo.
Additional Material
In December 1981 the Castilla Hot Springs was considered a “public nuisance” and Utah County Sheriff Mack Holley had a county work crew blow the place up and plow it under. In 1972 a young man was murdered there and in early in 1981 a man had drowned in the springs. However the real reason it was destroyed was the drinking, drugs and “pornographic activities” that occurred there.
10 May 1976 Monday
Today is Larry Copenhagen’s 33rd birthday. I did some genealogy for the first time in a long time. I felt the Spirit of Elijah was prompting me because I found some names that I never thought I’d find on the Peacock side of the family. I was up looking through the stacks in the Genealogy Section of the Harold B Lee Library when something prompted me to look in a book about Johnson County, Texas. It was almost like Grandma Danforth telling me to take the book down. I was amazed that there was a small passage on Grandma Danforth’s grandpa John Ervin Peacock and his in-laws! Grandma Martha Peacock was the daughter of John Anderson and Malinda Bryan originally from Mississippi. My heart was full of joy at this discovery. John and Malinda only had daughters so I might have never found the Anderson side of the Peacock Family.
I was on campus to meet with Bro. Payne the Church Psychologist for the first time. He is working with me on my problem with an unhealthy relationship to other guys. I’m glad I’m getting help from an LDS professional.
I got my loan papers that was co-signed by Mom and Dad in the mail today so I can pay off what I owe on fixing the Pinto’s transmission. I feel good about that and not being in debt.
I’ve been thinking a lot about Laura Edmondson lately. She had written in her letter last week that she was investigating the Church and reading the Book of Mormon. I hope she will join the church. She would feel so at home in it.
I had a real lonely dream about Mike Allred last night. I’d give anything to make things right between us again.
11 May 1976 Tuesday
I spent a lot of time in the Harold B. Lee library doing more genealogy. I looked up the Anderson family and found them in the 1860 and 1870 censuses. In 1860 they were in Arkansas but after the Civil War they were in Johnson County, Texas.
I also found a book of the History of Dickens County, Texas that had information on uncle Elihu Luce’s family. He was my Grandma Williams’ half great uncle.
I took the loan check to the bank today to deposit it so I finally was able to pay off the money I owed on fixing the Pinto’s transmission.
Other than that I didn’t do much today. I talked to Meg Madsen about how much I miss Mike Allred and how I’d like to write him but didn’t dare. Meg said I should go ahead and try and repair our friendship.
I don’t know why I am doing the things I do. I have been hanging out at Exchange Park sitting and reading while watching a lot of activity going in and out of the men’s room there.
It’s such a pretty spring day with everything so green and beautiful. The Wymount is sure turning green again. I don’t see as many tulips and daffodils as I did last year maybe because its late in the season. The irises are in full bloom. The weather is warm and nice.
I really wish I knew where I am going and what I am doing with my life. I am just floating around doing nothing while everyone else is either in school or working. I am just existing hanging out as long as my money continues to last.
12 May 1976 Wednesday
I went out to the Exchange Park to be with someone and I should have listened to myself because I knew I shouldn’t have. There were some young local guys hanging around not far from the men’s room and at first I thought they were okay as they were very friendly to me.
Then they went off and sat around on the ground and started rapping about things. I joined them as I thought I could meet some new friends. But then they started talking about queers hanging around the park and it seemed that they were getting worked up and was directing some of their comments at me. So I said that I had to leave to go to class when I didn’t really. It was just an excuse.
The five guys followed me back to my car yelling at me and I was getting scared as they were calling me names. I was able to get in the Pinto and lock the doors but one of the gang kicked at my door and left a big dent in the side.
I drove home, scared and frightened by their taunts and threats. I had never experienced that before. I had never felt so unsafe since I was robbed at gunpoint at Taco Bell three years ago. I know I brought it on myself for being wicked but I am so lonely for company. Why does everything have to be so hard?
I read this passage by C Raymond Beran called What is a Friend?
What is a friend?
I will tell you.
It is a person with whom you dare to be yourself.
Your soul can go naked with him.
He seems to ask of you to put on nothing, only to be what you are.
He does not want you to be better or worse.
When you are with him you feel as a prisoner feels who has been declared innocent.
You do not have to be on your guard.
You can say what you think, express what you feel.
He is shocked at nothing, offended at nothing, so long as it is genuinely you.
He understands those contradictions in your nature that lead others to misjudge you.
With him you breathe freely.
You can take off your coat and loosen your collar.
You can avow your little vanities and envies and hates and vicious sparks, your meanness and absurdities, and in opening them up to him they are lost, dissolved in the white ocean of his loyalty.
He understands.
You can weep with him, laugh with him, sin with him, pray with him.
You do not have to be careful.
You can abuse him, neglect him, berate him.
Best of all, you can keep still with him.
It makes no matter.
He likes you.
He is like fire, that purifies all you do.
He is like water, that cleanses all you say.
He is like wine, that warms you to the bone.
He understands.
Through it all and underneath- he sees, knows, and loves you.
A friend, I repeat, is one with whom you dare to be yourself.
Additional Material
DEFINITION OF A FRIEND By Dr. Frank Crane. Crane seems to be most often cited as the original author of this passage modified over time by others. It was printed in the Shoe Workers’ Journal Volume 17 from January 1916 and is the earliest source I can find with either the poem or the Crane byline.
13 May 1976 Thursday
It is a beautiful day in the 80’s but hard to enjoy it as I don’t have any money to do anything. My BYU student activity card is no good anymore. I went down to the unemployment office this morning and there still wasn’t anything on the board. It’s so discouraging to finally have a college degree and the only jobs available are fast food joints or cooks in sleazy low paying cafes. I am getting desperate.
I feel like I am in limbo in my life. I can’t finish my teaching credential. I can’t find work, and I have no real friends. The 22nd Ward is okay but there’s no single young people my age as most of them are married. I don’t think Bishop Porter knows what to do with me.
I quilted for most of the day and watched some TV, mostly just welcome “Back Kotter” and “Barney Miller.”
Additional Material
First Meeting of Young Gay Association (YGA) at the Unitarian Church 569 South 1300 West SLC . GYA was an organization for males and females of all ages as a social alternative to the bars and parks
14 May 1976 Friday
My horoscope said “Take time to talk things out with someone in a situation that affects both of you. You’ll achieve a meeting of the minds.” Should I call Mike Allred or does it mean talking to my Bishop? I really miss Mike Allred and our long talks at night. I miss having him as almost a companion.
The wind sure came up tonight before going to bed.
15 May 1976 Saturday
I was too antsy to be at home. It was still cloudy but still nice out after the wind and rains we had last night so I went for a drive. I ended up going to the hot spring not far from the mouth of Spanish Fork Canyon about 2 in the afternoon. I didn’t see any cars around so I parked on the side of the road and climbed up to this small cement house that contained a pool of hot water about six feet wide and 20 feet long. There was a little wooden deck but in the water was some cement benches to sit on.
I took my shoes off and stuck my feet into the water. It felt so good. There was a slight sulfur smell but not really strong. While there this kid poked his head in and asked if he could join me and I said sure. He wanted to soak in the hot tub and he took his clothes off and left them on the dock. He said for me to join him so I went out and changed in some bushes and carried my clothes back inside and got in the hot springs. There was a pipe running out of the side that carried a steady stream of water that flowed out of the cistern into some marshes outside.
He said his name was Jason and was from Spanish Fork and said he came up here a lot to relax and meet people. He was a little older than me and was really interesting to talk to. He said that this was all once part of a big resort called Castilla at one time that had burned down. He said that only locals know about it much anymore. I told him that a friend who lived in Springville kind of told me about the place.
We sat and talked for about an hour before he said he had to leave but before he did before I knew it we played around some. I felt really guilty so after he got dressed and left, so did I. I don’t know why I am doing what I am doing. Am I that lonely or just sinful?
Back at the apartment I just had a supper of toast and scrambled eggs because that’s about all I have left until I go grocery shopping. I should have done it today, Now I will have to wait until Monday.
Barry Manilow’s Trying to Get the Feeling Again makes me think of Larry Copenhagen and how complete I felt when I was with him but wickedness is never happiness.
16 May 1976 Sunday
All my roommates went off to the 43rd Branch together and I had every intention of going to my Ward but I don’t feel like I belong there. It’s like being back in Garden Grove where nobody knew me in the Ward or cared about me.
When everyone was out of the house I drove down to the hot springs in Spanish Fork Canyon. This time I brought a towel. It about 17 miles down there. There were a couple of cars parked there so I sat and waited until only one left then climbed up.
There was just one kid sitting in the pool and I asked if I could come inside and he said okay. He was about 20 and said that the couple that had just left had spent the morning there drinking and having sex so this kid was horny I could tell because he kept touching himself and looking at me.
I got up the nerve to sit next to him in the water and he put my hand on his cock. He wanted to have sex with me so he sat on the edge of the dock while I did him. After he had enough, he came back into the water and we sat and talked awhile. He had come up from Helper and was going up to Salt Lake. He said whenever he goes through the canyon he tried to stop by here. He asked if I had any beer but I said I don’t drink.
I really liked just being in the water with this kid and we stayed for a couple of hours before some more people came up and were waiting to see if we would leave. So we did. On the way back through the canyon I heard this song on the radio "Afternoon Delight" by the The Starland Vocal Band. How appropriate I thought to myself.
I drove home through Mapleton and Springville because I wanted to drive by Larry Copenhagen’s house. His Vega was there so he must have been home. I was so melancholy coming back to Fairmount. Is this all there is to love?
In the news Samuel Elliott Morrison died yesterday. He was 88 years old. I had to read "Growth of the American Republic" when I was in college at Cypress to get my A.A. history degree. There was an earthquake near Seattle but didn’t cause any damage to speak of.
17 May 1976 Monday
I went and met with Bro. Payne on campus today. I didn’t tell him anything about going down to Spanish Fork or out to the parks. He’s a nice man but I don’t think he can help me with my issues just the Lord can. He thinks I am progressing because I tell him what he wants to hear so he can report back to President Thompson in order to reinstate me.
18 May 1976 Tuesday
What a horrible, horrible day. I was arrested at Exchange Park for hanging out there. This morning I went to the Unemployment Office and then knowing that I should not have, I went to park to see if I could meet someone. I went into the Men’s Room and there was this guy there who was looking me over and then asked me what I like to do. I said "I don’t know. What do you like to do?" I had a really bad feeling about being in there and I asked the guy "Are you a cop?" And he said he was and that I was part of a problem the police was having with men in the park. He said I was under arrest for lewd behavior. I was shocked because I hadn’t done anything but asked if he was a cop. He called for backup and I was handcuffed and taken to the Provo jail where I was fingerprinted, had a mug shot, and put in jail.
I was so scared. I had no idea what to do? Finally I was allowed to call someone and I called Bro. Payne. He came down right away and got me released with the promise I would appear in court for sentencing.
Bro. Payne took me to go get my car that was still down at the park and I drove home and fell into bed crying. Am I going to jail now? I am so humiliated and ashamed. I just want to die.
19 May 1976 Wednesday
Bro. Payne called me to see how I was doing. He said that he found out my court date and he would be there for it. I can’t even think anymore. I feel paralyzed. I don’t want to do anything but stay in bed. I feel like I have been beaten to a pulp.
20 May 1976 Thursday
I want to leave Provo. I can’t take the pain of being here anymore.
Additional Material
Young Gay Association in Salt Lake City held a skating party. It was a private party and they had the whole rink to themselves. Afterwards they met a member’s home and had refreshments, “rapped” and played games. Youth Group met every Thursday through the summer of 1976 but disbanded in the fall.
21 May 1976 Friday
I told Meg Madsen that I was moving back to California and wouldn’t be here for the summer. I said that to her in case I am sent to jail. She was sad about missing me but understood because she knew I can’t find a job and prospects are few here. She said she’d get the owners to let me out of my contract. They still have the Neider Boys and Reed Nuttel.
I called Piper and Richard Holmes tonight and asked if I could store some stuff with them again because I was leaving Utah. Piper asked why and I just said I had run out of money. I am too ashamed to tell the real reason.
My mind is in a daze. I can’t think straight. All I worry about is being sent to prison for my wickedness. I have let everyone I love down.
22 May 1976 Saturday
At 5 this afternoon Piper and Richard Holmes came down from Salt Lake to the apartment to take all my things to store that I can’t fit into the Pinto to take home. The place seems so barren and empty without my things everywhere. The Neiders and Reed Nuttal really didn’t bring anything to make the place home like.
After Piper and Richard left, I really felt lonely being in the place by myself. Darryl Neider went home to Idaho for the weekend. Devon Neider is doing his National Guard training, and Reed Nuttel was out with his girlfriend Karen.
I laid in the dark and listen to the top music for the week. Paul McCarthy’s Wings had the number 1 song called Silly Love Songs.
In the news 28 high school students were killed in a bus crash in Northern California. Eleven of them were Mormon kids.
23 May 1976 Sunday
I didn’t go to church today. I am leaving the 22nd Ward before I really got to know anyone. LaMar Sawyer was about the only one that talked to me. I called Mom today to say I might be coming home. I didn’t tell her I might be going to jail. Mom said gas is high in California nearly 70 cents a gallon.
24 May 1976 Monday
I went to see Bro. Payne today and he could tell I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown. I told him that I was wanting to leave Provo if I am not sent to jail.
Additional Material
The San Francisco Chronicle published the 1st installment of "Tales of the City" by Armistead Maupin. The series continued in the Chronicle until 1983 and then was serialized in the Examiner in 1986.
25 May 1976 Tuesday
I am so scared that I might be sent to jail tomorrow and how did I hurt anyone but myself? Meg Madsen came over today and said she was worried about me because I did not look well. I said I had been fasting which is true. I’ve been fasting since Sunday that Heavenly Father would forgive my sins and I not be punished more than I can bear.
26 May 1976 Wednesday
I had to appear in Provo Court on charges of solicitation and lewd conduct. I was so petrified that I was going to be sent to jail but Bro. Payne was there to support me and talk to the judge. I was told if I pled guilty and left Provo, the judge said he wouldn’t put me in jail or fine me but that I would have a criminal record. What choice did I have? So I pled guilty and I felt guilty for betraying everyone and everything I believed in.
27 May 1976 Thursday
It feels like a miracle that I wasn’t in jail last night. I feel like a tremendous weight had been lifted off of me and I am so grateful that Heavenly Father gave me a reprieve to prove myself worthy of the covenants I had made.
I spent the day cleaning the apartment and doing some last minute errands. I went to the Deseret Savings and Loans and closed my account there what little I had left there and paid some bills.
So I am leaving Provo again. This time for good I think. I loved this place but I don’t think it ever loved me. It’s been a hard place to be.
Additional Material
In Salt Lake City the Imperial Court held their first fundraiser outside of the bars. They held a car wash.
28 May 1976 Friday
I packed up the Pinto last night and I was up at 8 this morning to do some last minute things. I changed the phone over into Devon Neider’s name with some help by Darryl. Then I went over to Meg Madsen’s next door to have her checked me out so I can get my deposit back. Steve and Meg loaned me $20 for gas money to get home on because they knew how broke I am. I told them I would pay them back when I get my cleaning deposit back. They were in a hurry to get to class so we didn’t really say goodbye.
I then drove up to BYU and ate breakfast in the Cougareat for the last time and walked over to the bookstore to buy a BYU decal to put on the Pinto.
I finally left Provo at 11 this morning and it was such a beautiful spring day. I don’t know why everything seems so intense and the colors are so much more vibrant whenever I leave this valley.
It was not such a sad departure this time as it had been two years ago. This time I feel like it’s what the Lord wants me to do because there’s too many temptations here and sad memories. In some ways I am glad to be leaving this place like I am shaking the dust of my sandals off at them for how this place has hurt me and never welcomed me. “And whosoever shall not receive you, nor hear your words, when ye depart out of that house or city, shake off the dust of your feet.”
Still I left somewhat in a state of non comprehension, zoning out, like I was not present in the car even though I drove home to California all by myself. I did not push myself driving home but took a leisurely 45 to 55 miles an hour which was the speed limit.
I reached St. George at 4 in the afternoon and it was really hot there already. My engine light kept flashing on the whole time driving home across the desert which concerned me but I made it into Garden Grove by midnight without any car problems.
I came into the house very quietly as not to wake mom.
29 May 1976 Saturday
Mom and Dad was not surprised to see the Pinto in the driveway although I didn’t let them know I was coming home. They let me sleep in until 10 this morning. They had left the house to go shopping.
It seems like it’s all been a dream this past year in Utah.
30 May 1976 Sunday
Mom fixed spaghetti and garlic bread for Sunday dinner. It was the best meal I’ve had in ages. My sister Charline and the kids came over while Dad and Dennis Wachs worked on Dennis car. I told dad about my engine light and he said he’d look into it.
I went across the street to visit with Jean and Tom Horan. They are like 2nd parents and I hadn’t seen them in so long. They still have their Boxer, Rocky who is a big goof. They only ever get Boxers for their dogs.
Tomorrow is Memorial Day so Dad and Mom will have it off. On Tuesday I will go down to the Unemployment Office to see what is out there. Mom said there’s plenty of work so I shouldn’t have any trouble finding a job. I hope so.
I have such mixed emotions about being home again. I am 25 years old, no job, and living in my old childhood bedroom. Everyone I know is somewhere else.
Additional Material
Second Annual Gay Freedom Day Kegger held at Site #10, in City Creek Canyon. All the beer you can drink for $2.00. Hosted by the board of the Gay Community Service Center
31 May 1976 Monday
Today is Memorial Day and Dad and I worked on the Pinto. We changed the oil and filter and did a tune up. It’s running fine now. I tried calling Ralph Ludders and Jerry Smith but couldn’t get a hold of them. Either their numbers have changed or they were gone I suppose.
After working on the car I laid out in the backyard to get some sun. Over 200,000 people are expected to be at the beaches today. I am glad I decided not to go. It was really nice out around 75 degrees.
Mom made a upside down pineapple cake for dessert. It’s been years since I have had it.
In the news big mouth Martha Mitchell, the wife of Attorney General John Mitchell under Nixon died in New York. She was awful.
June to December 1976
JUNE 1976
1 June 1976 Tuesday
Additional Material
The
Imperial Court of the Wasatch Empire of Utah would like to inform the Gay
Community of Utah of the birth of the court. In October 1975 5 people were
chosen to represent Salt Lake City and Utah to the rest of the Gay World. The
judges picked Deanna (Henry) as Empress I. Upon accepting the responsibility,
Deanna picked the rest of her court to work with her. She picked Pepper to be her Emperor, Terry j.
As Princess Royale, Gordie as Czarina, Jay as Grand Duchess, Marty as Queen of
the Realm and Bruce as Prime Minister. Pepper Emperor I picked Chad as Prince
Royale, Larry as Czar, and Ron as Grand Duke.
After the court was chosen they wrote the Articles of Incorporation, so
they could be registered with the state as a nonprofit corporation, this is
necessary to be recognized by other states and courts. In December Empress I visited Denver for
their court Snow Ball and made arrangements to have the Imperial Court of the
Rocky Mountain Empire of Colorado to officiate over the coronation in Utah.
Deanna also made visits to the Lilac Court in Spokane, while she was still
registered in the state of Washington she entered Miss Gay Washington Contest
and received Miss Congeniality and best performance awards. The court was busy in January preparing for
their coronation. On January 14, 1976 1st coronation was held and Empress
I Deanna
and Emperor I Pepper took the honors. Since January, Utah was represented
by our Empress I in Seattle, Spokane, Denver, and in Nevada during various
sessions with their courts. The entire
court visited Denver 24th, The court is now preparing for the coronation of
Empress II and Emperor II in January of 1977.
Several money making projects are planned during the year.
2
June 1976 Wednesday
3
June 1976 Thursday
4 June 1976 Friday
I
got a call this morning at 10 from Mr. Wight saying that I got the job as a
luncheon cook in the Tea Room at the Bullock's Department Store in the South
Coast Plaza in Costa Mesa. He asked me to come down to the South Coast Plaza to
fill out forms for payroll and social security. I feel very good about this job
but am also very full of anxieties as I always am whenever I start a new job. On the way home to Garden Grove, for the
first time in a long time, I started to think about Mike Allred, Utah, and the
all the joy I had living in the Rocky Mountains. Thinking about it all I began
to weep. I don’t know why. I do miss it
all so much although know I’m supposed to be down here. I’ve been doing a lot
of thinking about Laura Edmondson, probably too much. I am trying to learn and
understand what I feel. I realize that I don’t love Laura in a romantic way but
I like her really a lot. Maybe that is enough. Maybe I could grow to love
her. Marta Gillings was the only one
that really thrilled me but that is way over. I still think of Linda Prindle
from time to time but that relationship is gone too. Looking through my picture
album I saw an old photo of Linda and me sitting on a couch together. It made
me wish I could do it all over again but this time get it right.
5 June 1976 Saturday
In
the news the Teton Dam in Idaho burst catastrophically and water blasted
through a narrow canyon and onto Sugar City. It released nearly 300,000 acre
feet of water, then flooded farmland and towns downstream with the eventual
loss of 14 lives, directly or indirectly, and with a cost estimated to be
nearly $1 billion. The songs that I really like now are MORE, MORE, MORE, “AFTERNOON DELIGHT” and “MOONLIGHT FEELS RIGHT”
6 June 1976 Sunday
This
morning, I was up at 9. Mom and Dad took Grandma and Grandpa Williams out for
breakfast but I didn’t go because it was Fast and Testimony Sunday.
7
June 1976 Monday
8
June 1976 Tuesday
9 June 1976 Wednesday
I
went into work at Bullock’s at 7 this morning and worked until 3:30 in the
afternoon. However, at about 11, my lower back started to really hurt me. When
I tried to pee, I had blood in my urine like I did at the 1st of May in Utah. I
was reluctant to say anything to John the head cook or his girlfriend Terrie,
who was his assistant, since I had just started my job. Also, the other cook, Bob,
had just broken his arm yesterday and John had to give up his days off. I’m
supposed to work tomorrow myself instead of having my day off. By time my shift
was over my back was hurting really bad. When I drove home to Garden Grove from
Costa Mesa, I was in severe pain and thought I’d black out. But at home I asked
Dad if he would drive me to the hospital. He called Dr. McCoy, Mom and Dad’s
doctor and barely got me scheduled in. His office was way over in Fullerton and
I thought I was going to pass out from the pain. I also got really nauseous.
Finally, I was able to see Dr. McCoy and he after examining me said I would
have to come back tomorrow to have some X-rays taken of my kidneys. He thinks I have kidney stones. I’m so glad I
came home to California and this happened here. I don’t know what I would have
become of me if this would have happened in Utah with me having no insurance.
At least here, I am covered by Medi-Cal.
In the evening, I called Bishop McKay up to ask him to send someone over
to give me a blessing, He sent the President of the Elder Quorum and some other
Elders. I was given a blessing that whatever was afflicting me would cease.
10 June 1976 Thursday
Mom
took me over to St. Jude’s Hospital in Fullerton for me to have X-Rays taken.
My back was hurrying so badly I thought I would pass out. They shot some blue
dye into my vein so that my kidneys would show up on the X-rays. Mom had to go to the doctors herself today so
she had already taken the time off from her work. I found out that I might be
eligible for Medi-Cal to pay for my doctor bills since I don’t have any funds.
After they took my X-rays I went back home but had to go back at 3:30 to see
Dr. McCoy after he had a chance to examine the results of the X-rays. There he
told me that indeed I had a kidney stone and that I had to drink a lot of water
to try and pass it otherwise I would have to go into the hospitals for surgery
to remove it.
11
June 1976 Friday
12 June 1976 Saturday
Today
was Laura Edmondson’s baptism day into the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day
Saints. It was a really pretty day, what I saw of it as I stayed inside for
much of the day working on embroidering the baby quilt I am making for my
sister Donna’s baby. I feel better than I had for the past few days. In the
afternoon, my sister Charline, her husband Dennis Wachs, and the kids came down
to visit Mom and Dad and eat dinner with us. I
left the house at 4:30 to drive over to Fullerton to be with Laura for her
baptism. Her Mom, sister, and little brother were down from West Covina to be
there. I drove Laura over to the La Habra Chapel at 5:30 as the program was
scheduled for 6 in the evening. There were 5 people scheduled to be baptized so
there was a larger turn out than usual. It was so large that we had to move
into the chapel to accommodate everyone attending. Laura was last to be
baptized and was baptized by Elder Allred and confirmed by Elder Harris who is
a good man. I was really impressed by him and his Spirit. The hymns sang at the Baptism were “We Thank
Thee O God for a Prophet”, “I Stand All Amazed”, “A Mighty Fortress”, and “O My
Father”. It was a very Spiritual and uplifting occasion. I could tell that
Laura was moved by the Holy Ghost. I
couldn’t stay for the dinner provided because my kidneys began to hurt again
but it was so good to be able to attend Laura’s baptism. Who would have known 5
years ago when we were living in the dorms at Othry Hall that we would both
join the Gospel.
13 June 1976 Sunday
Today
was a Special day. I went to Sunday School in the Garden Grove 6th Ward where
we studied Chapters 1 through 10 of Hebrews. That Book has a lot to say about
Christ and the Melchizedek Priesthood. In the afternoon Dad adjusted the brakes
on the Pinto so it’s great to have brakes again. That is always nice to have. However,
for some strange reason, when I went to start the car to go to Sacrament, the
engine wouldn’t turn over and I wore the battery down trying to start it. Mom let me borrow her car so I could make it
to my appointment with Bishop McKay. I had to request my membership records
from Provo’s 22nd Ward and inform him that I was in a state of
disfellowshipment because of some immoral conduct involving homosexuality while
attending BYU. I hated having to bring this shame up once again. He said that
actually my records should still be in the 43rd BYU Branch since there I was
disfellowshipped and were responsible to working with me with my repentance
process. The Bishop said he would contact them about my progress.
14 June 1976 Monday
I
had to go back to the doctors this morning so Dr. McCoy could take another
blood test. My sister Donna had to take me because my car wouldn’t start. Mom
took off time from work to take me back to see Dr. McCoy at my 3 in the
afternoon appointment to give me the results. He said that my kidney stone was
gone and I must have passed it. In the news Utah’s 2nd District Congressman
Alan Howe was arrested in Salt Lake City for soliciting an undercover police
decoy for sex.
15 June 1976 Tuesday
I
worked at Bullock’s from 9:45 this morning until 6:15 in the evening. When I
went to my car after work, I found that my battery was dead. So, I went back
into Bullock’s to call Mom and Dad to come give me a jump but they weren’t
home. So, I waited until 7 before calling again and they still weren’t home. I
didn’t have any idea at all where they might have been so in desperation I
called dad’s cousin Norman Danforth because he lives in Tustin. Norman and
Betty said they would come to South Coast Plaza to try and start my car. At
7:30 they came and I was surprised to see Aunt Beulah with them. It was really
good to see her again. They pushed the Pinto with their car until it started
and followed me home to Garden Grove so that Aunt Beulah could see Mom and Dad.
They had just been out shopping when I had called from work. I was able to make
$24 today at $3 an hour.
16 June 1976 Wednesday
I
worked 8 hours again from 9:45 to 6:15 in the evening. Before going into work,
I bought a new battery for the Pinto at Sears and had them put it in. I made
$24 again and $48 in total this week.
17 June 1976 Thursday
I
worked my shift at Bullock’s from 9:45 until 6:15. I made another $24 so I have
$72 so far on this coming paycheck. I was finally paid today for what I worked
and cleared $89. I paid Meg and Steve Madsen back their $20 they loaned me. I
had a bad check from the BYU Bookstore so I sent them $10 to cover that and
their charge for a bounced check. I paid
$10 in tithing.
18 June 1976 Friday
I
had to be up at 5:30 this morning to get ready to take Mom to work because her
own car was in the shop getting new brakes put on. I worked from 7 this morning
until 3 in the afternoon just 7 ½ hours. After work, I went down to the
Medi-Cal office in Santa Ana to turn in my forms to qualify for the state’s
help. The lady there said I’d probably get it in about 2 weeks. After that, I went down to the
Motor Vehicle place to get another driver’s license to replace the one I lost
in Utah. I have $96 dollars coming so
far.
19 June 1976
Saturday
I
worked 7 until 3:30, this time 8 hours. When I came home, Mom said they were
going to meet Norman and Betty Danforth and the rest of the clan to go out to a
Chinese Dinner House. She asked if I wanted to come along but I was awfully
tired from being on my feet all day and did not want go through all. So instead,
I went to the movies by myself and saw “W.C.
Fields and Me” playing with “Monty Python and the Search for the Holy
Grail.” The Monty Python film was an absolute riot. I loved it. I made
another $24 working today.
20 June 1976 Sunday
I
slept in too late this morning so I didn’t make it to Sunday School. In the
afternoon, I went over to Los Alamitos to found out where Ralph Ludders was
living now from his folks. I was surprised that Ralph was there. It was neat to
see him again and he lived very close to where Laura Edmondson lives in
Fullerton. After leaving Ralph, I drove over to Norman and Betty Danforth’s
place in Tustin to see Aunt Beulah Danforth before she leaves to return to
Earth, Texas. My second cousins,
Beverley Watrous, Barbara Danforth and Alan Danforth were over so I was able to
see them again also. It was a nice Sunday.
21 June 1976 Monday
I
worked from 9:45 until 6:15 and when I came home I mainly watched TV. I have
$144 now on this next check.
22 June 1976 Tuesday
I
worked from 9:45 until 6:15 and now have $168. I sent Steve Madsen a get well
card today and also typed up a resume to manage a Winchell’s Donut House which
would mean a lot more money.
23 June 1976 Wednesday
I
worked from 9:45 until 6:15 and it was an easier day with John back but after
3:30 when he and Dana left, it was pretty steady the rest of the afternoon. I
made $192 so far. In the evening, I went to the Garden Grove Stake Young Adult
social at the Stake Meeting House at 7:30. I didn’t get home until after 9 at
night. It was good to meet with LDS kids again. After praying this night, I had
the will and mid of the Lord reveal to me concerning what I should do with my
life. After I have made a sufficient amount of money, I am to go back to
Washington D.C. where I should stay until I accomplish what the Lord has for me
to do there. Then I may return either to
Utah or my ‘beloved” Texas but I should not tarry in California. I am not to
stay in Washington D.C. any longer than I need to be there.
24 June 1976 Thursday
I
went into work at 9:45 and stayed until 6:15. Right after work I went to the
movies at the Orange Mall on Tustin and saw Walt Disney’s Peter Pan and Life Guard. I have
$216 now.
25 June 1976 Friday
As
it was my day off, I went into Los Angeles to go the Genealogical section of
the downtown Public Library. It was so hot and smoggy that I could hardly
breathe. I didn’t enjoy it at all. Los Angeles just grossed me out with the
smog, congestion, the clutter, the dirt and filth. It was all so obscene. Give
me my beautiful mountains of the valleys of Zion. When I came home about 6 in the evening my sister
Donna Jones was over as well as Charline Wachs and the kids. Today was Donna’s
27th birthday. I played with James and Denise for most of the evening, Mon
canned some apricot jam while yesterday
she had canned the plums from our trees. I
received a letter from Piper Holmes today. She said that she and Richard have
moved back to Provo to go back to school so my stuff is back down there. I wish
I could hear from Mike Allred but I don’t think I ever will.
26 June 1976 Saturday
I worked from 9 this morning until 5:30 in the
afternoon today. I’ve made $40 so far. I guess I’ll get paid this Thursday. In the evening, I went and picked up
Laura Edmondson to go to the movies. We went to a late show of Murder by
Death at the Cinedome 21. However, when we arrived there, they had a power
failure and the performance was canceled. It was kind of a mess especially
since I had bought my tickets all ready.
27 June 1976 Sunday
It
was a scorcher of a day with the temperature being 105 degrees with the
humidity so thick you could cut it. It was so blame hot and sticky. I went to the Sunday School class where we
are studying the Book of James. In the afternoon my sister Donna Jones came
over for some cheesecake I had made. Then we went across the street to visit
with Tom and Jean Horan. Donna stayed
for dinner and we had a barbeque in the backyard rather than heat up the house. I didn’t make it to Sacrament but in the
evening, I went to the Young Adult Fireside in which Bro. Petersen Spoke on
Temple Marriage.
28 June 1976 Monday
I
worked an 8-hour day and made $264. After work I went to Family Home evening
over at Mary Scofield’s house. Kathy B gave a pretty good lesson on keeping
ourselves morally clean. I met some more young adults.
29 June 1976 Tuesday
I
worked from 9:45 until 6:15 at Bullock’s and made $288 do far.
30 June 1976 Wednesday
I
worked 8 hours today and made $312. Right after work I went to the Regional
Young Adult Activity in Huntington Beach. I didn’t enjoy it very much because
it wasn’t hardly organized at all, and I knew so few people.
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