JANUARY 1979 Last Year of the Seventies
As the new year began I was living in Grantsville, Utah so that Fran could be near her best friend Linda Erickson Suazo. It was a big mistake moving from Salt Lake as there was no real economic opportunities in Tooele County and Grantsville was an insulated Mormon farming community. I was trying to make the best of living an unauthentic life viewing my homosexual desires as flaws and anathema to God and being a Mormon. I was living in a marriage with woman I cared about but never was in love with, and I had no friends of my own. It was a very lonely time and often my black lab dog named Sam was my only source of companionship. I was not a very good husband, provider, or Mormon as I was living for other people's expectations and not my own. Grantsville was a mean town where people did not treat their farm animals well. Packs of dogs roamed wild and the Grantsville Pound would shoot dogs rather than humanly euthanize them. Once I saw a woman walking with a child in her arms and pushing a stroller when she was being charged by a ram that had gotten out. I ran outside with a shovel to distract the ram, and as he charged at me I hit him several times on the forehead. He charged me about four times before giving up and trotting away. One of the worse thing I saw was that the neighbor next to us had horses and a donkey whose hooves had grown so large they were curving back into its shins. One day we went outside and saw that the donkey had died and was draped across the wire fence separating our properties. It was left there for about a week until we complained to the bishop and to the sheriff and they just acted like we were the trouble makers. These and other experience left a very sour opinion of Grantsville and the Mormon clique that resided there who viewed us as "outsiders" and not similar Latter Day Saints. Grantsville and Tooele both did not have any places where homosexuals cruised. If men had sex with each other it was very discreet and just among those in the know. However at Lake Point before entering Salt Lake County there was two gas station rest stops. I discovered that at one of these places, the men's room had peek holes from which one could view men. I never had any sexual encounters there nor did I actively seek them out but it was alluring to me as a place where my true feelings could express themselves. It was a very closeted time in my life and I was totally disconnected from my true nature. I was as hungry for male companionship as I was for male sex.
1 January 1979 Monday
We spent a lot of time over at Linda Suazo's house. We had dinner there and took Linda's mom to the Salt Lake Airport to catch a flight back to Minesota. I had a good day today until Fran said some hateful things to me while over at the Suazo's so I got mad, left and came home. As far as I know she is spending the night over there.
Jesse from the District called
me into work today at Central Elementary
for Mrs. Lewis Third Grade. Fran spent the night over at Lionel and Linda
Suazo's. When I came home from work at 3:30, Fran was back home and said she
was sorry for making me mad yesterday so we made up. She took Sam to the vet
and he said that Sam was doing fine recovering from his accident. We also
received our phone bill and it's taken care of. Fran went to Relief Society
tonight and my distant cousin Lark Fenter called me. He's Grandma Johnson's
first cousin which would make him mine 3 times removed. He bore his testimony
about temple garments telling me how his shirt caught on fire but his garments weren't even scorched. We
watched Taxi tonight and I worked on my
quilt I am making some.
I was called to teach Boy's
P.E. at Grantsville High School. Fran
spent the day cleaning up the house really well. When I came home at 2:30, Fran
and I went into Salt Lake. I went to the genealogical library while Fran went to the IRS and they said we
should get $285 back from last year's taxes since we made so little money. Liel Suazo got a job in California and will
be gone for a month not that I think
Linda cares. Today is his 42nd birthday. At the genealogical library I copied some Danforth History .
I went back to Grantsville
High School to sub for Mr. Harrison's P.E. Class. I wrestled Neil Bell during my 6th grade period class and although
I penned him I am as I can be so who really won. Lionel Suazo left today for
California and will be gone for a month He will be working at a construction
site near San Luis Obispo.. Fran
worked over at Tooele High School today and she brought home a copy
of the Salt Lake Tribune to go through all the sales. In the evening we went
over to see Linda because she said she was lonesome. We stayed for a couple of hours. i was really tired and
could hardly keep my eyes open to watch The Caine Mutiny with Humphrey Bogart
in it.
 |
| Neil Bell |
Additional Material
Neil Bell was 16 years old at the time he wanted to wrestle me when I taught Boys P.E. in Grantsville. I only wrote about how I was sore after wrestling me. I am not sure why he wanted to wrestle me but while pinning me at times he had an erection which really excited me but scared me also. I then pinned him quickly so I could get up. I knew from that moment that I should probably not teach high school as even though I was pretty sure I would never act upon engaging in sex with a student I never wanted to put myself in a position where some student might be attracted to me. That is such a confusing age and even a rejection might be enough to make false accusations. From this one encounter that was harmless I knew that teaching high school age kids where their sexuality is emerging would potential be dangerous as I was deeply closeted. I never did teach anything but elementary children to avoid any post pubescent issues of teenagers.
5 January
1979 Friday.
Two years ago on a Friday
night in Salt Lake City, Fran and I were married . On Sunday the 7th will be
our second anniversary. Fran and I were
both called into work. She took a reading class in Tooele while I took Mr.
Jarvan's band and English classes. I was home by 12:30 but was paid for a full
day I'm starting to like the kids at Grantsville a lot between
even if they are hicks. Tonight we went over to Linda's House and stayed
until 1 just talking. Mom had called this morning and said that Dad is
back in the hospital for heart problems. She said she didn't think it was quite
as bad as it was before. We were paid today. Fran only made $90 while I made
$160 over the Christmas holidays. I am glad we are working more steady now. The
weather seems a little warmer than at the beginning of the week. It was minus 8
below zero at night. I know our heating
bill is going to be high, An apartment building up in the Avenues in Sat Lake
burned down the other day not too far
from where we used to live in an old firetrap. Two people died in the Valley
Apartment Fire at 401 1st Avenue
Today is our 2nd anniversary.
I attended Priesthood this morning where Ken Killian gave a lesson on marriage.
After the meeting as over he asked me to also be a teacher in the Elder's
Quorum. For Sunday School me picked up Brett and Tony for church. Kitty didn't go and the rest of the kids were sick
so Linda stayed home with them I don't get as much out of Sunday School as I
should. Linda and Joanie Johnson came over for some cheesecake after Sunday
School let out. None of us observed the fast today. Something we need to
improve on. In Fast and Testimony
Meeting Fran bore her testimony. We had a Matador Salad for dinner.
I was called into work today
while Fran wasn't . Taught at Tooele High School for Mr. Leavitt's PE Class. It
wasn't too bad as I even played
volleyball with one of my classes. I didn't do much tonight but did get a letter in the mail from a cousin of mine on the McLeod side of the
family, Fran and I held Family Home Evening the two of us even though both of us are trying to get over
a cold.
I went into work for Mrs. McFarland ay Toole
High. Fran wasn't called in again and it was just as well since she was sick
again. I came home at 4 and took Sam for a long walk and then fixed some
dinner. I was so tired from staying up
until 11:30 last night watching a show
about these waitresses. It was pretty good One of the quips was this girl who says "I have a John F Kennedy
Memorial headache! Feels like the back of my head 's been blown off." Another one is after
some girl was swearing and the other
girl says You kiss your mother with that mouth" Didn't do much for the rest of the evening.
Fran working on her Afghan some while I wrote up some of the descendants of Rod
McLeod, my great grandfather. I need to
get that Danforth History off to Grandma Williams but I need a large
manila envelope to mail it in. I haven't
been over to the Suazo’s because all the kids are sick with either the flu or
strep throat. That is all we need to is to catch something from them/ In the
news Vietnam invaded Cambodia and people are worried that China and Russia will
get involved in the conflict.
Mom called me early this
morning saying that Grandma Williams had died. She died in a hospital in
Redlands having a new pace maker place
on her heart. I am glad we stooped to visit with Grandma on our way home from
Christmas in California. I haven’t much time to think about it yet. I was
called into work this morning before mom called and I decided to go into work
anyways and leave out this afternoon. I called Jr and Mary Peacock but only
talked to their son Dennis. Grandma was 77 years old, born 31 March 1902 at
Swenson in Stonewall County, Texas and died 10 January 1979 just 10 days before
the first anniversary of Grandpa’s death.
I went to Tooele with Fran and I taught a remedial class at the Junior high while Fran taught a chemistry class for Mr. Gang. I
wanted to start to crying every time I thought of Grandma though out the day so
I had to stay busy. When we came home in the afternoon, Donna called to say
that the funeral will be next Monday so there was no need to hurry home. However later in the day Mom
called to say that the funeral was moved up to this Friday. By then it was too
late in the day to think about traveling because of the weather conditions so
instead we went to bed at 8 o’clock so we could leave out early in the morning.
i didn't get much sleep however just tossing and turning.
Fran and I spent the night at
R.L.s place where we tried to get some rest. We were up by 8 and I fixed us a
breakfast of pancakes but before RL could eat, Wallace and Mattie Lee called and
said that they wanted him to take them over to the funeral home to view Grandma
before the funeral. He went over to the coach to pick them up and we locked the
place up and went over to Grandma's coach ourselves.. Margie Fern, Bill Damron,
and Aunt Beulah were there with Bonne and Bill and Minnie. Bill Fagan was just
glaring at everyone. Milton and Marie arrived with Stephanie and Greg and Marie
went into the kitchen to stay away from Bonnie and Bill however Milton went over and hugged Bonnie's neck and they both
cried. Wallace and Mattie Lee came back
to the coach with RL and Mattie Lee was just blabbing away as I guess she
couldn't stop talking. Nerves I guess. Betty, Norm, Mom and Dad, Donna an
little Kenny came up around 9. RL's step
children Jackie and Theo and their daughters Terri and Marsha and their husbands were all there to show support for R.L. It was quite a house full and the little kids
really lightened the mood with their playing with each other. Little Ken and
Aaron and Theo and Jackie's grandkids
were all playing together so it wasn't too sad seeing how full of life
these little kids were. The funeral was at 11
held at the Yucaipa Church of Christ.
The funeral home sent a limousine for the children of Grandma. Fran and
I drove over in mom’s car with Donna and little Kenny. The church was almost filled,
which is a testimony on how much Grandma was loved. Grandma's casket was on
view as you filed into the church. I'll try to list all the people I personally
knew who were there However I'd say most of the people were Church members who
knew Grandma. These there were R.L
Williams, Theo Clark, his wife Jackie their daughter s Terri and Marsha and their
husbands and their two boys. Theo's brothers families were also there but I
don't know all of them as they were Aunt Jerry's kids and lived up north.
Willadeen Webb was there who sat with Fran and Me. Dad, Mom, Charline, Dennis, James, Denise,
and Michael were there along with Janet Peevy, Dennis's mother. Donna and Kenny
but her husband couldn't be bothered. Wallace and Mattie Lee, Francis Ann and
her children Alessa and Stephen, Marilyn and her husband Danny Stevens, and their
children Dena, Danny Jr, and Candice, Terrie was there but not my cousin Gary. Minnie Bonnie and Bill Fagan were with their ex
daughter in law Pam Fagen and Bonnie's grandson Aaron. Gene and Carol
Walker attended as Gene was Grandpa
Williams nephew. Milton and Marie and Stephanie
Gregory attended along with Marie's brother
AL Buehlman and Marie's father Mr. Buehlman. Norman and Betty Danforth, along with Beverley Watrous,
Barbara Danforth and Alan Danforth with his wife Sheryl were there.
Margue Fern and Bill Damron along with Grandma's sister in law Aunt
Beulah Danforth was there as was Grandma's sister in law Aunt Nell and her
husband Toy Dial. That was all the people who I knew that was the funeral
however there were twice that many or more of her friends from church. The Church of Christ minister
gave a short talk about death and reads some
scripture and even a little about Grandma. She was eulogized as a Christian
Woman and a perfect example of an elder’s wife. A small choir sang hymns between
the talks. The only song I knew was "When We Meet On that Beautiful Shore”.
Wallace was visibly sobbing throughout
the entire service. I wish that they all would have cried their guts out. It
would have been a healthy emotional outlet but the Williamses hardly show their
emotions in public. After the
service the Church of Christ ladies
prepared a dinner for everyone in the recreational hall. i didn’t eat much
because Donna wanted to leave for home and I had to go with her to retrieve our
car at Grandma's coach. After dinner we all left to drive to Rose Hill cemetery
in Whittier for the burial. Denise and James rode with Fran and Me and I got a
little lost but did manage to find my
way over there from Yucaipa. This morning was dreary and overcast and
drizzling. The smog was so bad in Whittier that it made my eyes sting however when
we arrived at Rose Hill the sun came out and the winds had blown all the smog
away. It turned out to be clear beautiful and sunny day. You could see clear across
the San Gabriel Valley. The only ones to
attend the internment that wasn’t at the funeral was Gary Willams and Francies
Ann's husband Eddy Griess. Larry Fagan was the only grandson that wasn't able
to come as he was in the Navy and stationed back in Norfolk, Virgina. Gary
Williams looked like a regular goat roping cowboy, with boots, huge belt buckle,
a cowboy hat and a long mustache. We couldn’t have been more different. The
funeral was finished at 4 and Fran and I
drove James and Denise home to Stanton. Denise bless her heart was
sobbing so much. She said she would
never forget Grandma and that she let her have all the vanilla ice cream she
wanted whenever she stayed with her. And James right out of the blue in all
seriousness said, "And I will never forget her peanut brittle”. That gave
Fran and I a chuckle. Grandma made Denise and Afghan for Christmas and probably
it was the last thing she ever made.
After the funeral we went to McDonalds for something to drink and then
took the kids home to Charline's. They live on Katella between Western and
Knotts in Stanton. Charline told us as soon as we arrived that Mom wanted us to
come to the house so we did. Milton and Marie , Aunt Buelah, Betty and Norman were all over ant Mom's but Norm wanted us to come over to their
house for some homemade chili. We all went just to get out of the house around
6 and stayed until 10. Buelah sure doesn't care too much for Fran as she must remind Buelah too
much of Betty. They get a long like cats and dogs. When Fran said to Aunt Buelah, "thank you for the
canned fruit" Buelah icily said "I gave those to June." All in all we had a good time over at the Danforths. Barbara
and Beverley were there but not Alan. Beverly
brought her new boyfriend Mike and her kids Regina and Paul. I love my Danforth
relatives. We left around 10 and came
home with Mom and dad and Minnie where we spent the night. Minnie is holding up
really well since now Grandma and Grandpa are both gone and she is on her own.
I slept in for a while. Charline was going to
take the kids to the L.A. Zoo for
Michael's birthday which is tomorrow but everyone was too tired. Fran even went
over there and fell asleep for 5 hours I
talked with mom somewhat this morning then the kids called me and wanted me to
take them to the park since they weren't going to the Zoo. Minnie went with me
with the kids and we went to The Bolsa Grande Park off of Westminster Blvd.
Afterwards we went to Frosty-Freeze to get chocolate dipped ice cream cones. In
the evening Charline and Dennis came over to watch some TV, work on dad’s jig
saw puzzle and also played cards with Aunt Minnie.
Mom and Dad were up early to
take Minnie and James and Denise out to breakfast before going to church. Fran and I slept in and rested and when they
came home we said we would take Minnie back to Yucaipa. R.L. called the house
and said that Aunt Jerry Smith and Cousin Doris Rose Butler had finally got in
and were over at Gene and Carol Walker's place in Fountain Valley with Aunt
Nell. Gene is Aunt Nell and Jerry’s nephew. About 11:30 after we had packed the car and was ready to
leave, we went first to Fountain Valley to see Grandpa Williams's sisters. There were besides Aunt Jerry and husband
Gail and Doris Rose Butler, Milton and Marie, Aunt Nell Dial, Minnie and
us. While there, it poured down cats and
dogs. Aunt Jerry came to California to see a specialist for her nerves and Aunt
Nell was down to see a foot doctor. It
was just a coincidence that we were all together on the anniversary of Granny Rose's death 6 years ago and the 83rd anniversary
of her wedding to great grandpa
Williams.. She died in Plainview, Texas on 14 Jan 1973. Fran and I really had a
nice time at Gene and Carol's and just as
we were preparing to leave mom called and said she and dad were coming over so
stayed and had dinner. Gene and Carol’s kids Randy, Andy, and Luxie all came
over also. I had not seen them in years
and like me all grown up. I visited with Aunt Jerry for most of the time as she
talked the most about family history. It down poured for most of the day, rain, rain, rain. We
left Fountain Valley about 6 and drove on up to Yucaipa with Sam in tow. We went to the store in Calimesa for some groceries for tomorrow. We stopped at
Aunt Bonnie and Bill's where we ate some soup with them and it was good to see
Bonnie again without all the family drama. i have no hard feelings towards her.
When we returned to Grandma's trailer, minnie and I went through a lot of old
pictures and stuff. Fran and I slept in Grandma's bed, so tired.
We were planning on leaving
really early but Aunt Bonnie called Minnie and made her so upset that she cried.
Fran had asked Minnie if she could have the wallet back she gave Grandma last
June when she came to visit us as a keep sake. Fran actually bought it for herself
but thought Grandma might enjoy it and she did. You didn't have to ask grandma twice before she emptied her old one and took
Frans'. Well Minnie had asked for Grandma's purse back in which was the wallet
and Bonnie wouldn't do it and we decided not to leave until R.L or someone came over to look after Minnie
besides just Bonnie. Bonnie did come
over around 10:30 and we were really cordial
to her. I heard that all of the children were getting together to read
Grandma's will. I've already read it and Grandma left absolutely everything too Aunt Minnie as she
was the only one unmarried. As well as Grandma should have, as everyone else has someone to look after them
except poor Minnie who for years took the brunt of Grandma and Grandpa's
fussing and grumbling over the years. RL arrived shortly after Bonnie and I
took down an old metal box that had some old family history in it. An old letter
written in 1886 by Grandma Lucretia Danforth
to her grandson Mabry Danforth
was in this stuff. Also an obituary from Grandma Minerva Danforth's
death in Gordon, Texas. There was a lot
of other old things in there too and I am I suppose the only Grandchild who
cared about these things. Mom and Dad
came up with Wallace and Mattie Lee then Fran and I left to head back to Utah.
We left about 11:30 and it rained on us almost the entire trip into St. George
where we spent the night at the Oasis Motel. We were both really exhausted from
this trip to go any further. Glad we didn't stick around for the fireworks in Yucaipa by Aunt Bonnie when the will was
read.
We left St. George around 9 this morning and drove home to Grantsville.
we didn't make any detours this time. Fran drove a lot of the way because I was
sick to my stomach for most of the trip back. we had good weather in Utah. We
did stop in to see Linda Suazo after reaching Grantsville. Everything was fine
at their house I suppose. It sure was good to be home in our little house. we
have been thinking about moving down to California to be closer to mom and
dad but returning to Utah changed my
mind real fast. There's too much drama in California. Fran and I spent the evening over at Linda's doing our laundry. i
did call mom to let he r know we arrived back safely and to find out what happened after we left. Well I guess Bonnie really cooked her goose
as far as mom is concerned. When Mom and Minnie were sitting on the couch
talking, Minnie said there were some flatware that never had been opened. Mom
said to her you might as well sell it and get the money out of it but Bonnie
over hearing them, said "Yes go ahead and sell off everything Mama
owned." And to mom she said, "She wasn't your mother." Well that
just hurt Mom to the quick as Granda was just as much a mother to her as
Grandma Johnson was as mom married into the family when she was 16. Mom said to
me that Bonnie will never set foot in her house again. Then in front of Minnie,
Bonnie said, "Well she isn’t going to come live with me!" Mom was so
mad she wanted to say, "I wouldn't let Minnie live with you or that
pervert you live with!" Minnie
wanted to give Bonnie Grandma's silverware and China set but Dad and Milton who
were the executor of the estate aren’t going to let her do that. The silverware
set is worth around $1000. i guess it will be sold and the money given to Minnie
as it should be, Dad has the old worn out Peacock Bible in his custody and RL said if he had his way all
the old pictures would go to me. Mom had Grandma's photo album. I guess Minnie
is going to spend some time in Texas to get away from it all. the coach is
going to be sold and dad and Milton will buy something much smaller for Minnie.
She doesn’t need all that space and also doesn't want it. I called Minnie later tonight to tell her we
arrive home all right. I guess she is
going back to stay with Aunt Buelah and Wallace and Mattie. Bill and Margie
Fern Damron had to go back to Texas in a hurry as their cotton gin caught on
fire and lost 400 bales of cotton. I also called J R Peacock to let him know
how the funeral went.
After all the hurry and
anxiety of missing more work, the district didn't even call us in today, Fran
and I fought for most of the day, I
guess we've been together too long with
too much tension going on. Fran wanted to go out and buy more things when we
can't even make our car and rent payment plus all the other mickey-mouse bills
we have . She is so irresponsible. I left the house in the afternoon and drove
into Salt Lake to go to the genealogy library to get out of the house and away
from her. I have no friend of my own to visit. Fran has Linda to go to but I
have no one.
Fran and I were both called
into work to sub today. Fran went to Oquirrh Hills while I went to West Elementary
to sub Mr. Tonoli's 6th grade class. i had
a horrible day as the students were so rotten and smart alecky. It
snowed for much of the day. In the news John Singer, that polygamist who
wouldn't send his kids to school was
shot in the back resisting arrest. In
the evening Fran called Linda Suazo and was telling her some real hateful
things about me that made me angry. It makes me start to not like Linda when Fran
thinks she can call me names in from of her and Linda doesn't try to defend me.
I don't think Linda is a good influence on Fran because neither of them respect
Lionel and they compare me to him. Fran left in a huff and went over to
Linda's all evening. Good. I'm glad for some alone time without her criticism an
blaming me for her own behavior. I know I've got to get my act together and not worry what Fran does or doesn't do. I
must try again to have a constant relationship
with the Lord an don't be concerned with Fran's attitude. I've put off
growing closer to the lord because I couldn't have an ideal relationship with
him and I suppose with Fran also. I must
just do what I can and if Fran choses to follow, fine, if not there's nothing I
can do anyways. For dinner I ate two peanut
and jelly sandwiches and made some avocado dip to eat with corn chips. No
wonder i am sick to my stomach. I straighten
up the front room some and typed up some
old letters today. In the mail came our utility bill and
It was not any cheaper even though we were gone for a week. Aunt Essie, Grandma
Johnson's oldest sister sent me a letter
yesterday. It was really nice.
Today is Dad's 54th birthday.
Fran and I were both called into work but Fran said she didn't feel well and
didn't go in. More money lost but she doesn't care. I went back to Mr.
Tonioli class again over at West Elementary.
He didn't even leave a lesson plan so I had to improvise all day. The kids were
really rowdy in that class as I don't think the teacher has any discipline
plans. I do think the class atmosphere is set by Mr. Tonioli. Fran stayed home
and cleaned the house only because she was having the MIA Road Show kids over. Otherwise it would have been still
a mess. When Fran did the washing last Tuesday she poured bleach all over our
garments and now they have holes in them with us having no money to replace
them. She had the kids over all night so I just stayed din the den and typed up
letters an watched TV. There was nothing interesting really interesting.
The Donny and Marie Show is really boring now. It’s not cute at all. i took Sam
for a long walk this evening. My throat is really sore now. i hope I'm not
catching anything as I can’t afford to be sick. Reading over the old
letters sure made me realize how time manages
to change most things.
Grandpa Williams died a year
ago today while we were in Texas. Within a year I lost both Grandma and Grandpa Williams. Fran has been really hateful about
having gone to California for the funeral . She acts like we went just for a
vacation and she's trying to justify not working or doing anything because of
it. In fact while in California we spent $17 on yard for an Afghan she wanted to make for Norma
Tripp saying something to effect "well look at all the money you spent
going to California I’ll have a hard time forgetting how unsupportive Fan was
to me during Grandma's funeral. I think because Linda doesn't work that she
thinks that she doesn't have to. Kay Wiker came out to visit today. He said Mr.
Church had quit as director of the U of U foodservice because of the pressure.
He's in California now working for his son. I don't care about what others
thought of him as he was always good to me.
I should have stayed at the U of U instead of listening to Fran. Fran again made a cutting remark about
spending so much money going to California and it made me so mad I wouldn't
speak to her. when Kay left she left also and went over to Linda Suazo's. I
just went to bed, not feeling well at all and rather feverish. Later in the evening
around 7:30 Fran, Tony and Brett came
over to and wanted me to come over for Pizza. I didn't want to go but did for
Tony and Brett. however when I arrived
the pizza wasn’t even assembled yet and Fran and Linda took two hours
making it while I just sat around doing nothing. I should have stayed home with
Sam. We didn't even eat until 10:30.
What really made me mad , even though we have a $200 electric bill which is
more than our entire rent, a $115 car payment besides all the other bills, Fran
went and spent $15 at the grocery store
to make Pizza. We can't afford to feed Linda and all those kids. if we
could fine, but Lionel is making $2000 a month and I am barely making $500, and
not even that. Fran is so wasteful. If Linda ever had to do without or budget
her money, I'd say fine, let’s help but
she doesn't and Fran is not interested in working subbing anymore. She puts
this big guilt trip on me that I'm supposed to be the bread winner and she the
homemaker. Well I work and so my best but right now I can't ,make enough money
to match what a man in his forties at the prime of his profession can make. i
really feel that she deep down doesn't feel like she has to contribute financially
to this marriage and that all she has to
do is stay home and take care of the house. I will say this about Fran, she can
clean a house thoroughly when she wants to but often times she makes the house
so sloppy, i can't stand it so I clean up instead. I know I don't help much
myself by picking up after myself but when we both work, it’s me that 9 times
out of 10 times who does the cooking. She's 34 years old and really doesn't
know how to cook. And I'm not going to eat a lot of her slop while she learns.
If she was really devoted to homemaking she would have learned the necessary
skills long before now. If we had children, it would be a different story. I'd
want her to stay home and be with them, housework or no housework. But while we
don't and are trying to get established, you'd think she would be willing to
help. She wants another Murray Van Waggoner. Someone who gives her everything
and asks nothing from her. She wants to have a sheer lack of responsibility. Linda
tells Fran that the church says women should not work outside the home. Since I
have been so upset over Grandma’s death and
worried about our financial problems, Fran's constant nagging and unreasonable demands have really demoralized me. I've been real cross myself. I get a strong impression that all of Fran's actions stem from the
thought "what am I getting out of this marriage? Even if I chew gum she screams at me that it
annoys her. If I eat something crunchy, she criticizes. No matter whether the
ice box shuts or not she tells me to shut the door. She turns up the
heat rather than putting on more clothes and eats junk food rather than take
the time to cook something nutritional. She doesn't fix herself up for me but
only when she goes to church or out somewhere and doesn’t care what she looks
like for simple company coming over. It makes me not care either. She criticizes
my family for not being very good listeners when all of her family are card
carrying assholes and don't care about anyone unless they think it will give
them more status with their mother who doesn't care much for anyone unless they meet an undefined and stupid criterium that
she has set to ensure out her love. That
whole Fuchs family is mildly psychotic , so We spent a lot of time over at
Linda Suazo's house. We had dinner there and took Linda's mom to the Salt Lake
Airport to catch a flight back to Minesota. I had a good day today until Fran
said some hateful things to me while over at the Suazo's so I got mad, left and
came home. As far as I know she is spending the night over there.
I spent the day and night
alone as Fran took the car all day and I had no way to get to Church even if I
had felt like it. I slept most of the day between blowing my nose and coughing.
I watched the movie "Centennial: tonight. It made me feel upset over
Grandma's death again. She was a link to my west Texas Roots. Fran never called
to see how I was or if I needed anything. About 9:30 I called her at Linda Suazo to tell her to
bring the car home because i will need it for work tomorrow. I know she won't go
to work. She just left the car and
didn't come in just went back to Linda's where I imagine she is spending the
night. Linda is just using Fran for company as Lionel is away working. She should have sent Fran packing instead of
providing her refuge like I am the
villain. I guess She’s kicked Lionel out so many times she thinks it’s natural
for husbands and wives to be separated. Linda
thinks We spent a lot of time over at Linda Suazo's house. We had dinner there
and took Linda's mom to the Salt Lake Airport to catch a flight back to
Minesota. I had a good day today until Fran said some hateful things to me
while over at the Suazo's so I got mad, left and came home. As far as I know
she is spending the night over there.
Fran didn't come home last
night and when Jesse from the district called I was the only one who went into
work. i went back to West elementary and taught half day for Miller and half
day for Tonioli. I am going to have to get a part time job to make ends
meet as I can't depend on Fran any
longer I can work days as a substitute and in Salt Lake in the evening. Only
thing I know to do to pay our bills. Fran stayed over at Linda Suazo’s all day
and didn't come home. It makes me really sad and angry at Linda. It's going to
take me a long time to get over this. If
Linda wouldn’t be giving Fran refuge
maybe she would come home and we could work things out. As it is there's no
communication , and no understanding. A wall is being placed between us, which
is the first steps towards a separation. I read the Bible tonight mainly the
gospels of St. John and St. Luke and am trying to grow closer to my heavenly father.
I wasn't called into work today so I cleaned up the house and did up the
dishes. I was planning on going into Salt Lake and then perhaps down too Provo
but I feel really run down and just went to bed instead. I slept for most of
the day and night. My cold is in my chest and it really bothers me. I cough all
the time and I hope I don't catch walking pneumonia as the house is so cold. To
make matters worse, the rent check from Brighton bank bounced because Fran must
be writing checks I don't know about. So I've got to come up with so much
money. I wish Fran would come home so we could talk It's lonesome here by
myself and I miss her something terrible but if she doesn’t want to be home
with me nothing I can do about it.
I worked a half day at West
again for Mr. Berry's 5th grade. By co-incidence, Fran also taught at West
today also but she left with Linda before we had a chance to talk. We will only
have 7 days on the is pay period. Ugh. That's only $168. After school was out
at 12:30 I drove into Slat Lake to look for a second job. I went to K-Mart to
apply as a grill cook but they wanted a woman. Then I called about
some more jobs but they were filled. I even went up to the University but they didn't have anything available and
besides Lois hates my guts so I might as well forget that. I drove over to
Paulette Gasparac's place to ask if I could use her address and phone
number for a contact on applications. It
is so discouraging looking for work. I saw Richard Namenworth of all people
while In Salt Lake and gave him a ride to where he needed to be. Kent and
Paulette Gasparac invited me to stay for dinner and we had spaghetti, which was
good. It's all I had to eat all day. Kent has been out of work for two weeks
now and won't be able to get unemployment for 5 weeks so things are tight at
the Gasparac’s. However it was really nice to be over there and see someone
besides Linda. I had someone to talk to and tell my troubles to . I stayed
until about 9 and it snowed on me all the way home. Still no Fran when I
arrived. Sam goes from room to room looking for her. he slept head to head with
me last night. I guess we both are lonesome. I had a really bad coughing fir
last night and I just hope I don't come
down with walking pneumonia. I need to keep typing to keep my spirituality up.
Our landlady Mrs. Higley called and said that
she hasn't gotten the rent for January
because the check bounced so I have to come up with rent plus the
electric bill so it doesn’t get cut off. I am so desperate. I finally called Dad up before going into work to see if we could borrow
$150 until next payday from them. I
hated to ask but I am desperate. Fran
finally called this morning to ask me to take her into work in Tooele. i taught
at West again for Mr. Tonioli. After work
I went over to Harris to pick Fran up and we talked over our problems some and she came home
tonight. I mainly think she was tired of being at Linda’s.
I was called into work at Harris for the teacher Fran had yesterday, Mrs.
Lampson. Fran went to Grantsville High School to teach Home Ec. She will teach
it all next week. This evening right after work, Fran and I went into Salt Lake
and went to the Tower Theater to see
"Grease". We both enjoyed it We also stopped to see Paulette a little
before she had to go into work We were also going to see Tomie who owns La
Paloma to see about a part time job
working for her on the weekends but we got out of the show to late so we just drove
home.
We didn't get home last night unto 12:30 so we
were up late this morning. I had good
intentions about doing some house cleaning but Kay Wiker came over at 10 and
stayed visiting until 7 this evening. So we mainly watched TV. Linda Suazo's
kids all have strep throat, so Linda thinks, so Fran is staying away from
there. I'm still mad at Linda but I suppose I will get over it.
It was really, really cold
last night and the low this morning was below zero. I went to Priesthood where
Ken Killian asked me to teach a lesson, two Sundays from today. After
priesthood I came home to pick up Fran for Sunday School. She teaches a Junior
Sunday School class so I sit by myself during Sunday School . Bishop Burgess
was out of town so we just saw a film in his Sunday school
class about the growth of the church in 1973. It's hard to believe that was 6 years
ago, that I first came to Utah. For
Sunday dinner I made chicken Cacciatore over spaghetti noodles. In the Sunday
paper I saw a want ad for cooks in drill camps in Wyoming for $80 a day. Fran and I are thinking about applying.
We wet too Sacrament and sat near Glenn Brown and his wife. They sure are nice
people. After Sacrament we came back to the house and didn't do much but rest.
What a week last week was . I finally did get January's rent paid last Friday
from money mom sent me. Fran said that the doctor called Linda and said all her
kids did have strep so staying away from the Suazo’s. I typed up some letter's
from Grandma Johnson's niece and mom's cousin Audie Smith this evening as that was about all I did . Fran is crocheting
an Afghan for R.L.
I wasn't called into work but Fran worked at
Grantsville High School subbing a Home economics class. I drove into the city
to get a haircut before applying for the drill camp job, They gave me an
application to bring to Fran also. the
man said we had a good chance at getting
hired. From there I went to the Genealogy Library and spent time looking up the Cliffs for Audie Smith. I found some things but not sure whether they are her people or
not.
Jessie from the district called
me this morning to work subbing for the next three days. I will teach
kindergarten today in Grantsville, tomorrow
Science and Health at Tooele
Junior High and Thursday I will back at Grantsville. Kindergarten was a unique experience
as I had never taught it before, Now I have taught all grades except first
grade. When I was off at 2:30, came home to fix dinner, I made beef soganoff
, zucchini and a salad with French bread. Yesterday we had steaks
and Baked potatoes with sour cream. also with a salad and French bread.
I also straightened up the house and watered all my house plants at least the
ones that survived us going to California. i had turned the heat down to 40
degrees and a lot of them bit the dust.
I also baked a pumpkin pie for tomorrow and some pinto beans on to cook over
night. Fran has been working on the MIA
road show for about a month now.
She's gone tonight also. I watched Taxi tonight on TV. It was really good. Thay
and WKRP in Cincinnati are my favorite
new programs. Two years ago or three, it must be three years ago, I took out my
endowments. A year ago we were visiting with Br. and Sister Gurley in Ft.
Worth. It was the last time we saw him alive as he died shortly afterwards.
Sister Gurley wrote us that she is supposed to be up here somewhere if she is
still living alone and not with family. Two years ago we were living in the
Avenues in Salt Lake. I was working as the manager of the Huddle and Fran was
going to school. Three years ago I was living in Provo next door to Steve and
Meg Madsen. I was just beginning my student teaching program. Four years ago I
was unemployed living at home in California during that awful recession. Five
years ago I was living in Provo and not
in school working as a short order cook at the Bus Stop.
I am sure glad January is
over. It's such a long miserable month in the dead of winter and it’s been such
a long cold winter this year. It hasn't gotten above freezing in two weeks . I subbed at Tooele High today and it was a real easy day ass all the
science department ws gone so all the
classes were taken by substitutes who took the class to the auditorium to watch films for each period. I came home by 2:30. Fran continued to work at
Grantsville High in home economics. We left Texas a year ago in Fran s Dodge
she named "old Gus" that pulled
a trailer and everything we had back to Utah. Of course we never went
much over 35 miles an hour. We sure are
getting cabin fever this winter out here in Grantsville> i guess we are getting
itchy to be on the move again.
February
It’s Ground Hog’s day and it looks like it still will be a long winter to me. I went back to Mr. Brunson's class and I know the real problem in that class is the seating arrangement and the complete lack of consideration on the part of the students to their fellow students. For a craft I had them make butter flies which took most of the day but we still didn't get finished because of having to attend a music class I wasn't aware of that had been scheduled. Fran taught Home Economics at Grantsville High School again. She said she is getting tired of the same class. She expends too much energy too fast and then gets bored instead of pacing herself. We got paid today and hardly cleared $110. How are going to pay rent and our bills is beyond me? We went into the city tonight. We just needed to get away from Grantsville. Fran wanted to see some of her old coworkers at Auerbach’s as they lock their doors tomorrow. they are closing down Auerbach's which had been in Salt Lake since the 1800's but they say now they ran out of business to stay open. Fran's friend Verlene went with us to the downtown Dee's hamburger joint on Second South and State to get a bite to eat. We ended staying all evening there visiting until they closed at 11 just visiting and talking. It felt good to be back in the city again and have someone to visit with about other things than money troubles all the time. that gets so depressing and Linda and Lionel Suazo and Paulette and Kent Gasparac all are having money troubles too and are up against the wall like we are. we took Verlene home and then reached home ourselves about 12:30 I had a really nice evening even if we didn’t go to the show.
We went over to Linda's to take Tony to the Grantsville Stake Priesthood meeting where it was announced that they were going to tear down the old Clark Ward House Building and the Grantsville First Ward. Tony wanted to spend the day with us because he needed to be away from the mess at the Suazo's but Linda didn't want him to but after Sacrament she relented. So Tony came home with us and had some Clam chowder. Also he and I took Sam for a long walk and we talked about some of the things that are bothering him at Linda's and at school. In the evening we watched the last episode of Centennial that we started watching last October.
Neither one of us were called
into work today which made me mad. It's like they give you enough job referrals
to keep you interested but not enough to
actually live on Anyway we went into the city see a lawyer named Rulon
Price about filing bankruptcy on Fran's
Student Loans. There is no way Fran and I can pay off the combined bills with
the her student loan. we owe about $185 a month to meet our obligations. We
both had some debt we incurred
separately before we got married with Fran owing $1000's of dollars in
student loans Anyway the lawyer said it was $300 to file and pay his fees. he
said the government is cracking down and if we are going to file we better do
it soon. I went the genealogical library also for something to do. I found that
they have the 1900 census now except that it’s not completely sound indexed
yet. I found Grandma Johnson’s McLeod
family in Roger Mills County Oklahoma
Territory. Grandma was 11 months old. I also found some Confederate records for the Williamses, Persers, and
Peacocks. I didn't het copy all that I wanted as we had to meet with that
Lawyer. In the evening we watched All In the Family, Alice, Mash, and WKRP in Cincinnati
which is my favorite new show. Sometimes I miss the old favorites like Maud and
Bob Newhart. I received a letter from Mom today and a letter rom Kathy
Helton who sent a birthday card to Fran.
Mom sounded down in the dumps in her letter
Fran and I both we called into
work. Fran taught kindergarten at Grantsville elementary and I taught Mrs. Milburn’s
4th grade class at Central Elementary in Tooele. We had an assembly at Central
with a BYU Mime Troup performing After
they were finished they came to my classroom and the kids were able to ask them
specific questions . In the afternoon I had the kids make construction paper blue
birds in class to pass the time. I had a pretty good day and Fran said she was
really excited about her kindergarten class.. I think she liked that grade the
best of all. After school let out Fran had to go to a church road show meeting
. At 4 the phone rang and the phone
company said that if they didn’t get their payment by tomorrow they would come and rip our phone
out. So I called the Bishop and left a message saying we needed to see him
tonight. when Fran came home I told her what had happened so we went to see the bishop over at the
chapel and told him of our problem and how we needed to borrow $42 or they
would disconnect our phone and we wouldn't be able to work. Bishop Burgess was
really kind and wrote a check out to the phone company and also let us have
some money for the electric bill so as not to have that shut off. He also let us use the Bishop Storehouse for
a while for groceries so could get caught up with our bills. This was the first
time we ever had to rely on the church
welfare to help us out. It made us feel grateful that we belonged to a church
that cares about our physical as well as spiritual well being
I wasn't called into work
again which made me angry while Fran was called
to work back in Kindergarten in Grantsville. However about 8:30 this
morning I received a call from that catering outfit that I had applied at about a week ago wanting cooks to go up to
Wyoming for an oil drilling outfit that would pay us $80 a day! So I went into
the city to see this man Glen Johnson who was the boss who hired us and then I went over to see
Paulette Gasparac and Kent to tell them about our good luck. we will start this
Saturday so we have to drive up to
Wamsutter then head north from there to the oil fields. I will be cooking for a
crew of 17 men for 7 to 10 days. Fran went to a road show rehearsal again and Tony Fillman came over to stay with us a bit to get away
from Linda's crew. I called Mom to tell her we would be gone for a couple of
days and not to worry if she doesn't hear from us. She said that Aunt Bonnie
took Grandma’s silverware set after all.
I guess it doesn’t matter as it’s all just earthly possessions that she will
have to leave behind someday also. In
the news China's Premier just opened the doors to the missionaries . Iran is
really a mess with revolutions going on over there. who really cares? It’s such
a Podunk country. Send all the Iranians back to Iran and be done with it. Who
needs them? I guess it sounds like old
Nelson Rockefeller died with his pants down. the female aide he was with waited
an hour after he had his heart attack to call for emergency services. Sounds
like hanky-panky too me. I wish people would quit writing letters to the editor
about the killing of John Singer trying to make a martyr out of him. Now it also sounds like the
government knew all along about the spread of radiation fallout in Southern
Utah after the atomic bomb tests in the 1950's
8 February 1979 Thursday
I went to Grantsville elementary
for a half day for Mrs. Jones’ 3rd grade class, Fran taught PE for
Grantsville High school and had a hard day because the principal Pete Gallego
didn’t support her against a student who was swearing at her. My day was all right. In the afternoon and
evening, Fran went over to Linda Suazo's to do our wash while I cleaned the front
room and fixed dinner. I started in on the
kitchen and changed the furniture around
in the front room. The temperature sure warmed up today with a high of 45
degrees which melted most of the snow,
In the evening we met these two non LDS missionaries who were over at Linda’s.
We said they could stay at our place while we’re gone if they wanted. The kids
all looked scabby from the chicken pox. I received a letter from Grand Williams’
cousin Velma Neville, Grandma Johnson’s cousin Grace Shue, mad from Don Garrity who I was friends with at the Huddle. Grace sent me some pictures and a portrait picture
of Grandma’s grandpa Andy Fenter. That was so neat. Velma sent me a photo of
the children of Alice Danforth Nicholson who was Grandpa Theophilus sister.
We both got called into
work today and I went to Mr. Dart’s science
class at Tooele High School and Fran went to Mrs. Moss Business class also at
Tooele. When we were off from work at 3:30 we went to the store and we returned
somethings to exchange for dog food for Sam. Then we came home, took the $25
bond that Kay Wiker gave us last year
and cashed it in for $19.50. We put $8 in the bank and kept out the rest for expenses
. By the time we came home it was 5:30 and the man from the Grantsville Stake
came by and called me to be the elders quorum Secretary. I told him I would accept
but I would be gone a couple of Sundays
because of the job we got as camp cooks in Wyoming. He said that would be fine.
About the time he came over, Steve Madsen
called and wanted us to come to Provo tonight for a visit, We thought
twice about it but decided to go anyway. We haven’t seen them in ages so we quickly straightened up the house
the best we could, packed up, and headed down to Provo where we will spend the
night before leaving in the morning. We
first went down to their house in Provo and then over to this lawyer named
Stanger’s $200,000 home in Orem. The people who
live there are gone for a while and Steve
and Meg are house sitting there. It was
really fun to see them again.
I miss them or maybe just people that know me and not through Fran. We stayed
up until 1 in the morning then went to bed on a water bed. It was the first
time I ever slept on one.
We were up at 5:00 at Meg and Steve Madsen’s friend’s place
after just sleeping 4 hours. We were just exhausted but we left by 5:30 so we could get a good
start on our I-8 up echo Canyon to
Evanston. Wyoming. We drove through Provo Canyon to Heber then out to Evanston.
It was about 170 miles from there to Wamsutter where we reach the town by 11 in
the morning. We were to meet a guy named Max Roundy at the Texaco gas station
at Wamsutter to guide us the way to the camp. Wamsutter sets in the middle of
Wyoming’s nothingness but the camp, we were to find out, was 40 miles from nowhere.
We traveled over a dirt road north from Wamsutter , seeing nothing and passing no body but an occasional oil
truck. We journeyed through land that looked like Antarctica and on a road that looked like a mud hole as
the weather was warming and melting the snow that turned the road to shear mud.
By the time we reached the camp the car was completely covered with mud in the front
and beneath with nothing to clean the car
with. So we finally at last arrived in the middle of nowhere. In a big mud
hole, in the Red Hills or Desert of
Wyoming just north of the Great Divide. Home, Home on the range where the deer
and the antelope play. A huge oil rig was our first sight with a huge gas fire
burning off fumes which was not far from the camp trailer in which we will
live. Well our car is a complete disaster with mud inside and out. It’s really
a mess. We met the cook B.J. Berry and
his wife who we were relieving . They showed up around a little bit, about what we will be doing but not
nearly enough because when they left, Fran and I were like chickens with our heads cut off trying
to figure out where everything thing was that we needed. I made Polish sausages
and baked beans for dinner something quick and easy and the rough necks said
they enjoyed it. Also I had to fix a carry out tray for the five guys who work
the midnight shift. After cleaning and getting settled in we didn’t get to bed
ourselves until about 10 o’clock. We
were just exhausted. The guys out here are really rough but seem to be real friendly and its really nice
to have people appreciate something you do for them. They also warned us to not
let Sam wander off because of coyotes.
We were up at 4:30 to get breakfast on as breakfast runs from 6
o’clock to 8 o’clock. Fran is the clean
up and cook helper. I’d hate to have her job and I feel guilty every time I mess up a pan. We were
really mad last night as John the attendant who cleans the rooms and showers woke us up at 1 thinking it was
morning and that we had over slept. Boy were we mad because we couldn’t get back
to sleep and were dead tired on our feet all day. I fixed a ham dinner for
lunch and T-Bone steaks for dinner. There is no lack of food out here for the crew
as they eat well. Sam was in such bad
shape from sleeping in the car last night that we sneaked him into our room in the trailer and had him sleep with us. We were
afraid that he might bark and wake sleeping guys down the hall. We were willing, however, to lose our jobs
rather than let Sam getting sick. We don’t drink like the last cooks did and
are honest and reliable and if they won’t
let us have that much leniency to keep Sam we will go home. So far we like it out here except the work is
really hard, cooking three meals a day. I get up at 4:30, take a shower, then
get breakfast started which gets served at 6 and lasts until 8 . Then I turn
around and have to get lunch started.. we also fix 7 to 8 hot trays to be
carried out to the rigs while we serve 6 to 8 people inside. Lunch lasts
between 11:30 and 11 and dinner starts at 6. In the between time we make
pastries and do prep work. We serve dinner between 6 and 8. I also fix another
carry out box fr five guys on the midnight shift. After 8 it takes an hour to
clean and wash up so the earliest we can get to bed is at 9. It’s a hectic busy
schedule. As long as we don’t get sick we will be okay. Fran is in the kitchen
all day washing dishes and cleaning up. Before going to bed we took the
Sacrament that I blessed.
Today is Fran’s 34th
birthday and we are stuck here in this mud hole with no way to celebrate it. Mud! Mud! Mud! And more mud. I was up again at
4:30, showered and then got breakfast going. Tomorrow I am going to let Fran
sleep in until after breakfast as there is no reason why she has to get up any
earlier. As long as she is up to get the dishes done for lunch she really could
sleep in until 8:30 or 9 at least. We sure like this man named Jess Butler who
is the “tool Pusher” and who is the boss
of the crew and Dale the company man. They joke and kid around with us and
makes us feel appreciated. They also have no problem with Sam staying with us
in the trailer. Today we had two weird experiences. A bunch of guys came around
noon and said they were the relief crew
and went in to the back of the trailers waking up the sleeping guys and tracking in all this mud. The tool pusher
came over and kicked their butts out and asked us not to let guys like that in anymore. We were innocents not
knowing who to believe and who not so later in the day this guy came in with a girl friend and
wanted to go in the back where the showers and sleeping quarters are. We
thought they just wanted to go watch movies in the recreation room but instead
they went into this guy’s room and took him some booze. Well liquor and women
are strictly forbidden at a drill camp and they were told to get
their butts out of camp by Jess and the kid who had invited them quit. Jess
just smiled at us and said to us “now you get raunchy towards these fellows.” So
needless to say we were not so trusting and
more observant for Jess. John the camp attendant is really getting to be pain
in the rear. he’s a constant blabber mouth and I can’t trust a word he says. Primarily
however he’s just lazy and stupid. Other then that he’s a nice guy, I suppose Here’s today’s menu- This had to be ready by 6
, hash browns, fruit salad, French toast, pancakes, bacon, sausage, ham, eggs to order and coffee. For the 11:30 lunch
I prepared meatloaf, carrots, green beans, corn scalloped potatoes with ham,
fruit parfait with whipped cream macaroni salad, potato salad, banana muffins
and apple, strawberry and cherry pies and a peach cobbler. For dinner at 6 this
had too be ready- fried shrimp, homemade shrimp sauce and tartar sauce, French
fries, Cole slaw, clam chowder vegetable medley and a chocolate cake that I made for Fran’s birthday. For the midnight shift
I made meatloaf sandwiches. After dinner was over at 8, it took an hour to get
the kitchen cleaned and we were ready for bed. We sneaked Sam in again tonight
but it was a restless sleep, worried that Sam might hear a noise and bark. I ended up sleeping on th e
floor with Sam so Fran could sleep better. Also I let Fran sleep all through lunch
as she needed her rest fighting off a cold. I’m afraid I might catch it. If
either one of us gets really sick, we are done for being here. Fran met this
woman named Mary Lou who is the water hauler who lives with her husband in a separate
trailer at camp. I met their friend’s Chow when Sam and it got
into a fight and I sank to my waist in
mud keeping them separated until the owner could come to help.
Someone in camp who’s been in
town said that the Muslim Ayatollah Khomeini has taken over Iran and ousted the Shah. Fran
and I are just worn out. Our feet ache from not wearing proper shoes that give
our feet needed support. The weather here has been beautiful for the past few
days but it sure has turned everything
into a quagmire of Mud. Our car is mud inside and outside. I noticed today that
we are almost out of milk and eggs. John said the BJ the old cool never orders enough for the relief cooks. So
I called Glen Johnson to see what to do and he said to borrow from the other camps.
However the closest other camp was a bitch and said they had less than we do.
However the company man from Brinkerhoff said he was going into Rocks Springs
to pick up supplies himself and he’d pick us up a few things. John the
attendant has the shakes so much up here
that I wonder if he doesn’t have some booze hidden up here in camp. Jess the tool pusher calls me “cookie’ as I
guess that the standard term for a camp cook. That’s what Fran calls me also
only it’s “cookie face. For breakfast I fixed the same as yesterday only I
fixed biscuits and gravy too. For lunch I baked stuffed bell peppers and made potato au gratin and a blueberry
dessert from a recipe that Fran’s relative June Nelson in Zumbrota had given her.
For dinner I fixed a roast beef, baked potatoes, carrots pearl onions, brown
gravy, rolls, and a Waldorf jello salad and some chili. I fixed roast beef
sandwiches for the midnight shift. Fran really likes Mary Lou the water hauler
but they are the only women allowed in the camp.
All day I thought it was Tuesday
as you lose a concept of time out here
with out television or a radio station. When I found out that it was Wednesday
it was like someone released me from prison
a day early. I let Fran sleep in this morning until 8.
15 February 1979 Thursday
Jess Butler the Tool Pusher
left today for his days off and for Fran and I the fun went out of the job for us.
The new tool pusher was named George and
he could care not care less about the problems
we’re having with John the drunk. A lot of guys left today and there is a new
set of guys taking their place. The mud is finally drying up some today was the
weather is better today than it has been in a long time
16 February 1978 Friday
Another long hard day as I was up at 4:30 to
get breakfast on by 6 and to serve until 8. Then I started getting lunch prepared and I baked a few pies
I made. I serve lunch from 11:30 to 1:30 then it’s time to get the kitchen
ready for dinner. Lately Fran has been
letting me go take a nap between 6:30 and 7:00 while she serves the guys. When
I take Sam for a walk we have to walk along a narrow cat walk over the mud and one false move, off we go into
the cesspool. No wonder Sam shivers so much by the time he’s inside. We sneak him through a widow to our room as
we aren’t sure about George letting us have Sam in the trailer.
17 February 1979 Saturday.
Relief at last! To our great
surprise , when th e supply truck arrived at the camp, Max Roundy said that he’s
taking John over to the Brinkerhoff camp and their attendant is being
transfer over here as there were a lot
of complaints about John and not just from us not doing his job keeping the
sleeping quarters and showers clean. It’s like a weight has been lifted . This
morning John and I got into argument because he said it was my job to wake the crew
up and not his which it wasn’t. I said then what the hell do we need you for? I
was so mad. Anyhow, we had our work cut out for us putting away the supplies
that cam in today. I don’t hear anything in the news except what guys talk
about that crazy guy taking over Iran and China invading Vietnam now that we
are out of there.
18 February 1979 Sunday
Everyday seems just like
another. There’s nothing to break the monotony of the sameness. We never leave the camp,
never see anything new, just the camp, the people in the camp and the great Wyoming
prairie . Mud and dirt clods in everything we have. Since that jerk John broke the dryer we haven’t
even been able to have clean clothes and are garments are turning into shreds.
Our shoes are entombed in hard mud and the leggings of our pants are encrusted
also. Each night I have to soak Sam’s
paws in water an clean out the dried dirt clods that become like little
rocks between his toes. Also our bedding
is littered with little bits or dirt clumps we keep brushes off with little
results. What a way to make a living. If I didn’t have a calendar and keep a
journal I’d never know today is the Sabbath.
19 February 1979 Monday
Today is our last full day of
torturing and suffering . We are both so sore and stiff with tiny cuts and
abrasions on our hands and feet at it’s almost shear will power to keep us
moving. Last night while we were sleeping a helicopter flew into camp with some
specialists from Texas to see what the problem is with the gas well they are
drilling. The whole time we have been here, it hadn’t bene producing and it’s driving the company man
wild with exasperation. I talked to the new tool pusher some ad he’s still a
dud but his stories of working in the
Middle East on gas wells there are interesting. Yesterday two of the crew we liked quit. People come and go so quickly
here that is unreal. We worked extra hard today cleaning the kitchen good as we
could as we leave out tomorrow.
20 February 1979 Tuesday
We decided to leave out about 10:30 as we had been up since 4:30 we
made breakfast, clean the kitchen and
had lunch ready and waiting for BJ berry
and his party to arrive. We didn’t want to wait for the roads to thaw as
they were already starting to turn bad
and we said to ourselves what the heck. Nobody is going to pay us
anything if we break down going down these roads back to Wamsutter. The road was really bad and we passed BJ coming up just outside of Wamsutter and I
figured they would make it into camp around 2:30. If we would have waited for
them to get in we had really had a hard time leaving. As it was our car stopped
one time and really wouldn’t start back up for a while . That sure scared me .
Sam had a specially hard time , whimpering and whining all the way back to the highway and on the
way home. I don’t know how our poor nerves survived but you do what you have to
do and hope for the best. We stopped in Rocks Springs to see that wild and
wicked town of the wild and wooly west. What an arm pit that place is. We thought about stopping in Green River to see
Piper and Richard Holmes who had moved there for work but we were such a mess.
We just wanted to go straight home to
Grantsville. Then on Cokeville, Utah I got a speeding ticket for doing 65 miles
in a 55 mile zone. That really pissed me off as I was the only car on the road
and we were covered from head to toe in mud and the cop must have thought we
were bums. After that we drive on in and were home about 6;30. We didn’t
even unpack the car, just showered to get the mud out of our system , watched some
TV and the hit the sack in our own bed again. Oh the bliss of sleeping in as
late as I wanted. Those fellows who stayed here last week really kept the house
looking good. You couldn’t tell anyone was ever here.
We went into the city to see
Glenn Johnson and doing some other chores. Glenn made me really mad and I won’t
work for him again. He called us perpetual bitchers because we complained about
John and wanting compensation for taking our car up. We will get paid next Tuesday then I am going
to tell him to kiss my you know what. We went to teh Relief Society Building on North Rtemple to buy $70 worth of new garments . Ours were about worn out. Most of tehm were on sale for $2. i bought six pairs for me and 23 for Fran. We spent the night with Paulette Gasparac
because it snowed all day really heavy and the roads back to Grantsville are
bad. The car is an absolute mess. Yuck.
26 February 1979 Monday
Fran and I both feel awful
about the poor donkey lying on the fence
by our back yard. Each time we go to the car or look outside we see it. Fran
went and picked Sam up from the vet today at 2. He was still groggy and spaced
out. We had him neutered and given his distemper shots. Because he was supposed
to remain quiet and still, we decided to leave the house so he can rest. Fran
went over to Linda's while I drove into the city. I haven't felt good all day
and fell flushed. I also have a bit of a rash. At the library I mainly looked
up census records.
MARCH
1 March 1979 Thursday
Fran and I were both anxious
to g back to work substituting but I was upset that we weren’t called in until
Fran discovered she left the phone off the hook. We spent the morning looking
through the want ads and I saw an
opening for a snack bar manager at Sears downtown. Afterwards I drove over to see Paulette Gasparac but her car wasn’t
there. I mailed off some letters for a kid from the camp we said we would. So I
drove into the city to apply for it. I didn’t return to Grantsville until 5. We still don’t have much money or the prospects
of much for a while. Fran had to attend
a Road Show practice at 5 and didn’t get
home until 9. She said that Tony told the kids at the Road Show that he was
illegitimate. That Kid! Why he did that I don’t know. Fran told him that he was
crazy. I watched Mork and Mindy and Angie. When Fran came home we watched a
movie called Beauty Contest. Fran had a letter come today from a second cousin
about the family’s history.
We were both called into work. Fran went to Grantsville
but I can’t recall who for. I worked for Mr. Sena at Central Elementary. Mr.
Sena sure has a wild class and it’s not him because he sure is organized. In
the evening Tony Fillman, Brett Ellis and I drove into Salt Lake To see “Animal
House” and “up In Smoke” at the Century theater. Fran
didn’t go because she just wanted to stay and visit with Linda. Both movies
were rated R and the kids being under 17 wouldn’t have able to go with me. Animal House was really funny. Up is Smoke was
dumb unless you were into the drug culture but the I can see where it might
have had its movies as Tony and Brett laughed all through it.
Today was Linda Suazo’s birthday
and I think she’s 38. I made her a cheese
cake while Tony made her a double layer chocolate cake. We went over to their place
at 8 and had bacon burgers which were really
good. Before that I had cleaned the house really well and Fran went off to a Road Show Practice. I will be really glad
when that is over so she can stay home and help around the house. The weather
is really warming up finally as it was 50 degrees . All the snow is gone and the
chill is out o the air but all the landscape looks dry and dead. Linda said that Lionel wants to put their
farm up for sale but some land in Arkansas
where he has some friends there. So I guess they are thinking of moving. I
really like Tony Fillman as he’s
intelligent and witty and on the ball for a teenager. Brett Ellison the other
hand seems slow and exasperating and dull. I guess he can’t help it being put
into the Foster system so who knows what his mother was like. Linda has pulled
Tony entirely out of school because he doesn’t want to go anymore. He’s only a sophomore
but he hates Grantsville High School but then so do I for that matter. The kids there for the most
part are cliquish and mean. Linda is
still dreaming of home schooling her children, which she is simply not up to the task.
I am really playing the apostate today as I
didn’t go to nay of my meetings. I’ve got to get the desire to go back but I
don’t enjoy Priesthood here in Grantsville. No one there ever seems to share
any real friendship. I resent having to attend the same Sunay School class even if taught by
Bishop Burgess who is really, good because all the other classes are
taught by the insipid. Fran went to a Fireside held in Stockton with
Tony, Brett and Kitty because Spence Kinard who works for KSL and is the host
for the Mormon Tabernacle Choir Sunday programs was speaking.
5 Match 1979 Monday
Fran and I were both called into
work. Fran taught Economics at Toole High School and I went to Tooele Jr High to teach History for Mr. Turner. I didn’t do
anything after school but just came home and straightened up the house and played with Sam. We watched TV in the
evening; shows like Billy, WKRP in Cincinnati and Mash.
Lina came over with Rebecca and Sam would catch the ball I tossed and
return with it Becka would laugh and
giggle. The bay is only about 6 months old. I think that was the only time
Linda really liked Sam only when making her baby laugh.
6 March 1979 Tuesday
We went into the city because
neither of us were called into work. I took the car into a car wash and really
scrubbed the car clean, trying to get out all the dirt and dried mud up from Wyoming.
That took two hours! Afterwards I went to the library to look up Fran’s mother’s Osborn side of the
family. I found a lot. Fran’s 2nd
cousin LaVonne Evans had done a lot of tracing the family back to New York
State. Fran’s grandfather Luther B
Osborn was born in Rensselaerville, Albany County, New York and his father was Nathaniel
Osborn who died in 1847 in Rensselaerville . he wasn’t too old only about 57
years old. The 1840 and 1830 censuses seem to indicate he was born about 1790
in Connecticut but not sure what county.
Seems that he might be the son of a Nathan Osborn who moved from Connecticut to
Dutchess County New York and who held property in Albany County in 1789. I found Luther B Osborn and Margaret
Ann Irving’s marriage date 13 January 1852
in Poughkeepsie Co. New York
We didn’t get called in again
and latter Paulette Gasparac called today saying she was having a hard day with her divorced and wanted to talk
with Fran in the afternoon so we drove into the city and I went back to the library
to do research. I mainly fished the work
I started yesterday. I saw Richard Namenworth
and Mike Anderson at the library. Yesterday I saw Larry Hyde a kid I
knew from Rancho Alamitos I couldn’t remember
his name at the time so I didn’t say anything to him. We left Salt Lake at 6 so
Fran could be back in Grantsville in
time for the Road Show Practice. There was nothing on TV so I listened to Albums while cleaning the front room. I received a
letter from mom saying she’s had a bladder infection< Aunt Minnie is still
staying with Mom and Dad. Mom said she will miss having her around once she
moves back up to Yucaipa. She said that Donna and Ken bought Grandma’s old car
as it was a more reliable car.
We weren’t called into work
again today. I started cleaning the
house but Fran was acting so weird that after a while I decided to loaf around
also. Lionel Suazo finally came home today after being gone for months working
in California, It was a nice spring like day. I really want to move back to
Slat Lake a lot. There’s nothing for us in Grantsville, not any real work and
just Linda’s crew. Fran left to go to
her Road Show Practice at 6 and later to a cosmetic party at Linda’s so she didn’t get home until
10. It’s getting to be a real drag out
here in Grantsville> Linda and Lionel
had their house appraised so I guess
they are serious about selling and moving from Grantsville also,
Both Fran and I were called
into work at Harris Elementary where I taught 3rd grade for Mrs.
Hook and Fran taught 2nd Grade for Mrs. Crinker. We are on a diet so
the menu for dinner was a half cup of corn 69 calories, a half cup of green
beans 21 calories, an 8 oz. steak 600 calories, bread 56 calories and cheese 111
calories and a 8 oz glass of milk at 159
calories for a total of 1016 calories. Didn’t eat any breakfast or lunch.
I am not sure why I stopped
writing in my journal for the rest of the month unless I was just too depressed
living in Grantsville, having little money to pay bills or getting ahead. Fran had
her life with Linda Suazo and church activities but I never did. I was just
merely existing in an unauthentic and unfulfilling life and marriage with no
options for a change. I know I hated my life in Grantsville and was determined
to leave as soon as I could find work back in Salt Lake City. Why I think I mainy shut down was that Linda and Lionel were fighting over his wanting to move to Arkansas. She picked up and left him for a week taking all the kids except the oldest ones and moved in with us which was nightmare.
No comments:
Post a Comment