Autumn 4th Quarter Journal 2005 October- December

 

October

1 October 2005 Saturday

I spent much of this morning corresponding with Kathy Welte whom I knew since she was a little girl when her parents Frank and Barb lived down the street from my folks back in the 1950s before they moved to Fullerton. Frank and my dad were friends for a long time, drinking buddies as much as anything and as Frank was 10 years younger than my dad I think he kind of kept my dad feeling young

            Frank however was a pedophile who started molesting me when I was in 7^th grade and continued for about five years until I was old enough and aware enough to know that what he was doing to me was not right.

            I believe he molested neighborhood children in Fullerton and his own children but in the 1960’s you just didn’t talk about such thing. Kathy to rebel against her father’s white supremacist views, he was a German-phile, ran off with a black man married him had mixed race children.

            When I was in college at Cal State Fullerton I would often drop by the Weltes as I cared for Barb and to visit with the kids who were all teenagers by then. After moving off to Utah I never saw the Welte’s again until last year when I visited Barb to let her know that Dad had passed away. Mom hadn’t kept in touch with them for years after Mom and Dad moved from Garden Grove in 1989.

            So I was surprised to be contacted by Kathy who now lives in Alaska I suppose to be as far away from her family as possible. Frank and Barb had Frankie, Kathy, Barbara Ann, Brett, and  Lisa. In 1990 Frankie was sent to prison for molesting his own 14 year old daughter.

Kathy Welte: Hi Ben, it's me Kathy welte, Lisa is here with me too

I wrote-How’s Alaska

Kathy Welte: it is great...winter is on it's way

I wrote-Leaves are all changing here in Utah also

Kathy Welte: I just move up here in July

I wrote- I moved Mom to Las Vegas this summer

Kathy Welte: Our parents drove up for a couple weeks

I wrote-So you got almost the whole Gang up in Alaska

Kathy Welte: yep....I am staying with Lisa and her hubby

I wrote-Brett probably is not happy. Here, he moves to get away and ya’ll all follow him. I hope he's good. He was a cutie

Kathy Welte: lol lol lol...don't see Bret much Bret and his wife live out in the valley about 50 miles from anchorage.

I wrote-Of course I haven't seen any of ya’ll in 30 years Are your folks going to sell and retire in Alaska

Kathy Welte: I don’t think so...they seem happy in so calif

I wrote-Kathy I saw your daughter when visiting your Mom.” She's a cutie

Kathy Welte: did you see April or Cinese?

I wrote-I believe April. She was dropping off laundry. I often think of you..we got kind of close when I was in college at Fullerton. I Hardly recognized the old place with the Willow tree gone

Kathy Welte: I know..I went home a couple years ago and was like what the heck

I wrote-It was good to see your mom and I am sure she hardly recognized me now that I am an old man.

Kathy Welte: how does your mom like Vegas?

I wrote-: She's adjusting. She was house rich and cash poor in California after dad died. I have some old black and white snap shots of your family taken on Dale Street I need to scan and send to you. One is your mom holding you as a baby

Lisa Welte: that’s SOOO cool...but that was before my time

I wrote-I have a picture of Frankie holding a little Collie puppy

Kathy Welte: would love to see it

I wrote-I'll see if I can find them this weekend and send them. I'm sure your folks have pictures of us as kids too

Kathy Welte: yep

I wrote-You know your dad and my dad worked for a while together for Murray Manor

Kathy Welte: yep I remember my dad taken me there

I wrote-What time is it in Alaska?

Kathy Welte: 8:49pm here

I wrote-You’re two hours earlier then here Kathy.” come to stay for good or visiting

Kathy Welte: staying for good

I wrote-Sometimes it’s good to get away from where one grows up. I like Utah but the Mormons are a drag sometimes. Okay well most of the time LOL I've lived here for nearly 33 years longer than I ever did in Cal Been in this house my partner and I bought now for almost 10 years

Kathy Welte: I agree..was the best thing I ever did. we are looking at buying a house here

I wrote-: It helps with taxes and nice to have a place to call your own

Kathy Welte: we have a mobile home we own and will rent when we buy

I wrote-When I sell this house and retire I plan on moving into a mobile home.” Mom's in a senior mobile home park in Vegas. So who's still in California

Kathy Welte: Frank is...state pen

I wrote-I heard he was in prison. I hope he will be coming up for release. My nephew James was in and out of jail for drugs probation for a long time but has finally cleaned up his act.

Kathy Welte: not sure when he will be released he got 30 years no chance of parole

I wrote-: I didn't know... Sorry to hear that... Jean Horan's grandchild I use to baby sit murdered some people while on drugs so bad things happen in all families.

Kathy Welte: I did not know that

I wrote-: Well he will always be little obnoxious Frankie to me that I had to chase around your house LOL The booger. You were bratty too LOL. You should be hitting the big 5-0 in a couple of years. Wasn't you born in 58?

Kathy Welte: I will be 48 Oct 11th

I wrote-: I am about 6 or 7 years older then you and about 9 years older then Frankie when I met your folks. One of the things I miss the most from your Mom was the great blueberry cheesecake she use to make..I've never tasted any like it ever since. I think the last time I talked to you ... you were running away from home for the umpteenth time LOL. I was living in some apartment in Placentia while going to college

Kathy Welte: I have heard snips and bits but tell me about you. I remember the tacos we all used to eat. Running away from home for sure LOL

I wrote-Ben Williams: I worked at a taco bell on State College so I am sure I was always feeding somebody! LOL

Kathy Welte: Last time I knew about you were Mormon and had 9 kids. Always thought I would grow up to marry you LOL

I wrote-Ben Williams: Well where to start. Became a Mormon, got married became un Mormon and unmarried, came out of the closet and became a radical fag in SLC and a school teacher. I write for a gay paper, have a companion of ten years and two schnauzers and 1 daschund mix. Never had kids. I teach 5th grade now but have taught for 18 years 4th, 5th, and 6th.

Kathy Welte: Do you remember when I was 3 and took your money and hid

I wrote-Ben Williams: Yes I told you were Bratty! LOL

Kathy Welte: Bratty that was me!! I was so in love with you LOL

I wrote-Ben Williams: Baby sat you a few times on Dale Street and we stayed up and watch Dracula. Its scared the be jeesus out of me. I was about 11. Well I was more interested in Boys even then though I never would have admitted it LOL. I was having a nervous break down over some heartbreak when I left California thinking Mormons would "cure" me LOL. More queers in Utah then you can shake a stick at LOL

Kathy Welte: The main thing is to be happy and you seem to be that. I am so happy for you!! It is special to find that in a person. If you can have that you got it all. I am still looking.

I wrote-Ben Williams: Be ever hopeful! Once when I was down because I just divorced never thought I ever find any one I was sitting waiting to catch a bus when this bag lady started to come over. I was already depressed and I kept praying PLEEEZE don't some sit next to me but she did. However she said something so profound I never for got it. She said I LIVE ALONE BUT ITS GREAT COMPANY! That is how I try to live my life whether its with some one or not. Always thought of you as a little sister since I never had one

Kathy Welte: you were always there for me. Thanks. I was not really a problem child it was the environment I grew up in. Incest, Shocked??

I wrote-: Of course not...don't you think I knew what was going on? You father had his way with me several times and I felt extremely guilty because I liked it. Shocked? I loved your mother so much and was so ashamed to look her in the eyes at times. Dirty little secrets all families have them and we all grow fat and repress our feelings if we don't find a way to let it go. I did although my self esteem was pretty low at times.

Kathy Welte: I thought that maybe since my parents were close to your parents that my dad could have been with your sisters. I knew he was with my brothers. Which is why Frank was is in prison. I am so happy we could talk about this!!!

I wrote- I think he might have tried something with Donna because she would never come over without mom and dad. I was in 7th grade coming home from a fish fry our families had at the beach. Your dad took me home because mine was drunk LOL  Frank wanted to tell me about the facts of life and since my own father never took much interest in me I was happy to receive some from your dad. I don't harbor any ill will to your father. I really don't. I feel sorry for him and wonder when the cycle began with him.

Kathy Welte: Yeah I am over weight and don't really feel worthy of being happy...almost 48 years how ridiculous am I? I went to my grandparents in my late teens and his abused started with his dad. What a cycle.

I wrote- Your mom was also a victim in many ways by marrying so young and being totally dependent on your dad for everything and getting pregnant so often she didn't have much choice but to stay. But I suspect she knew what was  going on

Kathy Welte: Well my Dad started with me at 3 or at least that is as far back as I remember

I wrote-I stopped spending the night at your folks when I was about 17 when I finally realized that even if it felt good it also made me feel bad. I never talked to my folks about it...you know how when you are young you want to protect your parents. I had gay feelings long before I was molested by your dad. As a little kid I was always attracted to males and I think that is why I always felt that I was a participant in my own seduction. As an adult I know that is Bull Shit because Adults can make choices while children cannot. Adults should know what is appropriate and that children cannot make those decisions.

Kathy Welte: I figured things out about 8 yrs and told my Mom she told me that daughters and their fathers have secrets. So basically I was screwed. I knew he was also with Barbara so I told her to tell him NO. He came to me and told me if I caused anymore trouble he would kill me. My life felt like hell!

I wrote-: Kathy I am so sorry you had to grow up in that hostile where the man who should be your protector was your victimizer.

Kathy Welte: Thank you for that. Do you know of course you don't...but I have been with hundreds of men. It is by the grace of God I don't have AIDS.

I wrote- Only a hundred? Slacker LOL

Kathy Welte: I gotta love you!!!

I wrote-: Same here....I don't know why I am still alive when so many of friends are dead

Kathy Welte: Are we the lucky??

I wrote- I figure I just still have things here to do... I am kind of the unofficial historian of the Gay community of Salt Lake City

Kathy Welte: I always thought that Charlene's oldest son might have been my Dad’s.

I wrote-I have never talked to Charline about it. I am sure James is her boyfriend Gary's son who was in the navy. She wanted to get married so she got pregnant. Donna had just ran off when a guy and got married before she did.

I stopped having anything to do with your dad when I was 17 because he suggested that I sleep with Charline. I was so repulsed that it made me question what I was doing with him.

But I really don't blame your dad for my being so sexually active. We were so repressed and when I fell into the candy store, boy did I eat... My mom was sexually molested by her grandfather. I am just so glad that pubes are a requirement for my sexual interest and I love especially men over 30 LOL

Kathy Welte: Well I did not know the difference-sex equated love to me. MY BAD

I wrote-: Well you get a lot of attention when your between some guy legs LOL....well at least for 5 minutes. A lot of pedophiles blame being molested for their actions and yet I never was interested in anyone under 19 LOL

Kathy Welte: Well maybe you were born to be Gay. Definitely not a crime.

I wrote-: Men are built differently and are hard wired differently to be able to have recreational sex and also loving sex. Me and little Stevie Campbell who lived between your house and mine were being naughty when he was 5 and I was 4! See I always liked older men.

Kathy Welte: Sex is over rated the older I get. Many times in my mind I have considered a female partner.

I wrote-: I have been in situations that were dangerous however because of low esteem and thinking I was unlovable...but that was not from your dad as much as hiding my true feelings of love. I married a woman who was six years older then me and I know she married me because of the Gay female energy part of me. I am not a cross dressers LOL  Just that Gays have both male and female energy.

Kathy Welte: I think my dad was a gentle pedophile which is why he was never caught.

I wrote-: Kathy you are a survivor... You dad never physically abused me or made me feel inferior, if anything he reverted back to being a boy himself. It was like there was a part of him that was sexually stunted. While as I was maturing I was wanting teenage stuff like necking and kissing not just groin grabbing but your dad didn't have that capacity in him...

Kathy Welte: Can you call me some time ..I wish we had six hours to have coffee together. My cell # is 714-606-2249 home 909-337-7634   or give me your # to call sometime.. You are a survivor too! oops home area code is 907....sorry

I wrote-Ben Williams: I really felt sorry for Brett....I was worried that he might be being abused and not liking it. Its one thing to be having sex with a neighbor as opposed to one’s own father. Although your dad was a father figure to me growing up....So it was a form of incest also...at least a violation of trust. I think Barbra Ann was the most messed up because she was never as strong as you.

Kathy Welte: I am sure he abused both Frank and Bret. Bret turned to drugs big drugs young. But he has survived in his own way also.

I wrote-Ben Williams: By the way what is your last name now?

Kathy Welte: My last name is Stuart and my email is kathy.stuart@sbcglobal.net

I wrote-: Well so much for memory lane Good times LOL its midnight here in Utah and I am about to crash......instant message any time my cell phone is Verizon 801 631-8243...Need to get some shut eye.....I am OLD! I bet Lisa thinks we are looney toons if she is reading this LOL Any way too old too fat and too Gay to worry what others think LOL.

 

2 October 2005-4 October 2005

No entry

5 Oct 2005 Wednesday

David J. Moss a son of School Superintendent James Moss wrote a scathing rebuke of me for the article I wrote about the Anne Frank Exhibition protest.

“Mr. Williams: I was recently forwarded your column entitled 'Homosexuals, The Holocaust and Utah'  and was disappointed to see your unfair take on the Anne Frank Holocaust Exhibit controversy of 1990.

 I believe both sides (although stating that there were only 2 sides that oversimplifies things) of that particular situation had reason to be frustrated as well as uncomfortable (that is not to say both sides were right, but that is beside the point).

Certainly, you, as a 5th-grade school teacher, can understand the need to exercise sensitive discretion when determining how much information to pass along to your students regarding various historical events...when to draw the line. I think that every educator would have a different line, but few, if any, draw their line with the intention of hurting the kids they are responsible to teach.

Without getting into a discussion of the relative importance of the sexual orientation of some of the holocaust victims, my complaint with your column is more about the tone and personal nature of your accusations. To make your point that sexual orientation did play a role in whether or not someone was persecuted and to what extent that persecution continued, is it really necessary to indirectly describe Mr. Moss as a bigot? Is it really important to sarcastically mention his death from a heart attack at age 48 as if to claim some moral vindication over someone that cannot defend himself from your re-hashed accusations?

 He is my father and I was 17 when he died suddenly on December 14, 1990. And yes, stress had much to do with it. He was not a bigot. To the contrary, the fact that he 'stressed' about that very event (something I remember very clearly) indicates that he recognized that both sides had an argument and deserved to at least be heard, but that both sides would not be equally pleased with a final position on the matter.

In determining his position, it simply came down to which would have the greatest positive impact on the school kids and which would have less negative impact on the school kids.

There is much truth about the holocaust that would not be appropriate to showcase to elementary school-age kids, that is not to say it is not true and never happened. It is simply the exercise of filtering some truth that may be difficult to explain to someone of that sensitive age while still trying to convey the relevance and impact of what occurred.

Decent, well-meaning people can disagree over these issues. To refer to him and the others who tended to agree with him on this issue as bigots devalues your own perspective and credibility as it shows your eagerness to oversimply the viewpoints of the "other side" by attaching universally repugnant labels - a safe argument tactic when preaching to those who value style over substance...especially when considering that your target is deceased...very weak.

Had my father not considered both sides of this issue and taken the time to discuss it with the respective groups, perhaps he would have experienced less stress and still been alive. If only he had attached less value to the opinions of the two sides of the argument and simply made a knee-jerk reaction based on his "gut instinct", perhaps education would have been less stressful.

Please understand that as you continue to fight for your cause, not everyone who disagrees with you is a bigot. If only life and cultural issues were so simple! Dismissing a person with a differing opinion than yours with manufactured shock, cheap sarcasm, and smug labels places you all too neatly in the oversimplified, blissfully ignorant  world of 5th-grade minds. Regards David Moss.”

Michael Aaron  said he sent this to the Salt Lake Metro as well. It is a letter to the editor about your article from issue 9 - back in April/May. You mention that you are a teacher of the 5th grade in the article. His brother also sent a letter. I may let you respond with a single paragraph in the same issue. I'll send the other one as well. Can you hold on putting these onto the Yahoo group until we publish? Thanks!

“Since you printed Ben William's article about supposed censorship with the Anne Frank exhibit, in 1990 I hope you will be glad to print this response. I am one of the sons of James Rex Moss, who he refers to in his  article. Defamation of character is always annoying when it is misguided. But it is even more so when the person being defamed is deceased.

At the time of the Anne Frank Holocaust exhibit in 1990, my father was serving as the Utah State Superintendent of Education. Those who knew him over the years in government, civic, church and business circles, knew he was a man of principle, integrity, character, and as Rod Decker said so well at his viewing "Utah school teachers have lost a leader. Utah school children have lost a friend."

What kind of a person digs up something that happened 15 yrs. ago as a  means of trying to promote one's own agenda? The kind of person who 'snuggles in his cozy basement apartment' (two words, by the way that a man should never use!) while my father was working with his heart and soul for the education of children in this state.

At the end of his article, Mr. Williams smugly declares that my father died of a heart attack and that "Education is stressful."  It is indeed stressful Mr. Williams when you are doing all you can for the betterment of education in Utah, and at the same time having to deal with people like yourself on the sidelines.

Throughout his life, my father did what he believed in and acted with character and integrity (though in your book none of that matters because he didn't push the gay agenda!).

Though he may have offended some, like yourself, at times, he did what he thought was right and had many friends on both sides of issues.

 In the end, my father will continue to be remembered for his goodness, decency, integrity, character and all the good that he did in so many  areas of his short 48 yr. life. You, on the other hand, will, more than  likely, simply be remembered by a few gay friends as a man who tried to push  his own little pet agenda. You may even get a few pink triangles on your  coffin. John Moss European Sales

 

6 October 2005 Thursday

 Michael Aaron  responded to criticism to the Lambda Lore column on the Anne Frank Exhibition protest I had written saying, “I re-read the article yesterday as well and thought it balanced, even with the caveat at the beginning about you being a rabble-rouser. David Nelson and a friend were in my office and they agreed.”

 

7 September 2005  Friday

No entry

 

8 October 2005 Saturday

Laurie Mecham a columnist for the Salt Lake Metro asked, “Hi guys N grrlz, I would love to hear your stories about "the gayest thing I've ever done."  I'm stealing the idea from another guy's blog. One of the responses he received was from this guy whose friend was opening a gay bar. The respondent said one of his jobs was sanding the glory holes. NOW THAT'S GAY! Xoxo Laurie 

I responded that mine was “Blessing the gay hustlers working Broadway with my faerie wand. They wanted their crotches rubbed with the wand for potency and protection. Then we went behind the old Broadway Shoe Store and had a power raising ritual under the full moon and in downtown Salt Lake City. That was pretty Gay...”

Laurie said, “Wow... that's pretty gay all right...thanks for sharing.”

 

 

9 October 2005-17 October 2005

No entry

18 October 2005 Tuesday.

I left Salt Lake at 6:30 this evening and flew to Las Vegas over Utah Education Association break  to be with Mom. I flew on Southwest Airlines and a round trip ticket was only $158. I arrived at 6:45, Vegas time, but 7:45 Salt Lake Time.

 Bonnie Owens  LGSU co-president wrote me, “Ben, I am writing just to confirm that you are still planning on coming to our meeting on Oct 24th and to ensure that you still have all the details. Again thanks for your intended participation. Oct 24th, 7:30pm. Union room 161.

 

19 October -20 October 2005

No Entries

22 October 2005 Saturday

I arrive back in Salt Lake at 8:40 and Michael Romero came with the pups to pick me up.

 

23 October 2005 Sunday

I was asked to be a presenter at the AIDS Foundation Gay Men’s health conference. They asked me to speak on Gay History and I doubt whether I had 4 people at my presentation. A lot of work and hustle for nothing.

 

24 October 2005 Monday

 After school let out, I came home and prepared my remarks for tonight. I hadn’t been on campus it seems like ages and not to the Lesbian and Gay Student Union since it used to meet in Orson Spencer Hall.

            There were more Lesbians then Gay men at the meeting and those there identified I think more as Genderqueer than as Gay. I didn’t not feel particular welcomed like what I had to say was not relevant. Perhaps it’s not. I am 54 years old and most of these kids are between 18 and 24 if that.

 

 

25 October 2005-26 October 2005

No Entries

27 Oct 2005 Thursday

Mr. Williams, On behalf of the Lesbian & Gay Student Union and its members, thank you for presenting at our meeting this Monday. It was unique and informative and we certainly appreciate it very much. Your continued support and dedication to awareness makes our jobs much easier. We hope  to work with you again in the future. Sincerely, Bonnie Owens and Thomas Nelson, LGSU Co-Presidents

 28 October 2005-31 October 2005

No Entries

November

 

1 November 2005 Tuesday

No Entry

2 November 2005 Wednesday

SLC begins signup for domestic partner benefits - Heather May Salt Lake Tribune

Salt Lake City employees with domestic partners can start to sign up for the city's health benefits programs - even though it's unclear if the city legally can offer health insurance to those gay and heterosexual partners. The city's Human Resources Department sent an e-mail to employees Tuesday telling them they must enroll their domestic partners and their children by Nov. 30.

Mayor Rocky Anderson signed an executive order in September providing domestic-partner benefits.

The city's insurance provider refuses to offer medical and health benefits to domestic partners until a judge rules on whether it's legal. The court case is pending. Even so, the city wanted to be prepared. "It's a contingent enrollment," said Jodi Langford of the Human Resources Department. "We'll hold the paperwork contingent on the court judgment."

The city can move ahead and provide employees' domestic partners with legal and psychological services. And they can qualify for discounted home and auto insurance offered through the city. Providers of those services didn't question the executive order.

 

7 November 2005 Monday

Message from UVSU On Provo High's GSA  Hello Everyone, As we have discussed over the last couple of meetings, the Provo High School has recently approved the formation of a Gay-Straight Alliance. As could be expected the school district is emphatically against this club. And equally as expected the grand majority of the reasoning and protests against the club are unfounded poppycock, a joke really.

But unfortunately, they do have the power to affect change in some things against the kids in this club. The district has proposed changes in the policies for high school club attendance and membership. Some of these changes include mandatory parental written permission to attend ANY club, as well as more involvement by faculty advisors, AND the fact that they are pushing for prohibition of any discussion of sex or sexuality in a school sponsored activity or on school grounds that does not fall under the category of hetero-married sex.

In any event it is completely obvious that these changes in policy are of course directed EXCLUSIVILY at the GSA club, as an effort to either rein in the club and the students who would want to attend it, or if possible to halt its formation totally. According to federal law, the school cannot stop any club from forming. However, I guess there are some things that they CAN do like this to hinder it. Therefore basically, we have decided that we need to support this fledgling GSA in any way we can, especially since it is likely that they will have VERY few people willing to support them.

We have started to write some letters of support and have determined that one thing we CAN do is go to the Provo School District policy meeting where they are going to be discussing the changes in policy for the student clubs. We are not wanting to make a commotion, nor do anything untoward, but a supportive presence in the room for the GSA club may be at least something that we could do.

Therefore, we are planning on getting together the day after tomorrow, Tuesday the 8th of Nov, at the administrative building at 6:45 to attend the meeting together. We am not sure about the format of the meeting, other than the fact that there WILL be some open discussion towards the beginning of the meeting.

It is therefore important that we are there as close to on time as possible and that we bring as many people as we can from our group. Once again the meeting is:6:45 pm Tuesday Nov 8th Professional Development Center 280 West 940 north Provo UT We will meet in the parking lot at 6:45 and go into the building together.

We are not recommending any sort of dress code or whatever, please just wear what you feel is appropriate. And please come and invite friends or interested parties. Thanks so much and contact Mike (787-8352) or Cammie (636-3639) if you have any questions or concerns. Thanks! Mike, Cammie, Kent, and Lisa

Provo schools OK gay/straight club policy By Elisabeth Nardi The Salt Lake Tribune

PROVO - The Provo Board of Education on Tuesday night approved a policy that, despite some parents' objections, allows a gay/straight alliance to continue to meet at Provo High School. Modeled after Granite School District's student club policy, Provo's new mandate requires students to get their parents' permission to join clubs. Each organization also must have a faculty adviser and follow federal and state laws and guidelines.

Board member Sue Curtis said she was unsure whether a gay/straight alliance will help students, but she wanted a policy adopted because the club already is operating. "We need to get our policy in place tonight and have [the club] have some kind of guidelines," she said.

Provo High Principal Sam Ray earlier this fall approved the alliance, which students started to create awareness and support for gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender students, as well as heterosexual students with gay loved ones.

In response, the school board in October began working to draft rules to make sure all student clubs comply with a state law that prohibits students from discussing or promoting sexual activities except within marriage.

Many at Tuesday night's meeting didn't believe a club dealing with sexual identity can comply with that requirement. But Provo district officials also wanted to make sure they comply with a federal law stating that students' speech cannot be limited.

A number of parents called for the dissolution of the alliance, which has 15 members. "Those who wish to discuss homosexuality or advocate it can do so outside of school," Provo parent Dan Barrus said. "It's a very small minority that wants this club."

The only way the district could deny a club's charter would be to shut down all extracurricular clubs, a move Ray said would hurt students. "I believe clubs provide students an opportunity to feel a part of the school, " he said. "They would lose that."

Salt Lake City School District in the late 1990s closed all non-curriculum clubs after a student tried to start a similar club at East High School but later bowed to public pressure to allow a gay/straight alliance at that school.

The alliance at Provo High has had two meetings, and those involved have been told what the laws are and have gotten parent permission, Ray said.

Gary Watts has six children who are Provo High graduates, and two of them are gay. He thinks the club will create a more respectful atmosphere at school. "In this community we have got to learn to respect gay people," he said. "Please include gay people in school life."

 

3 November 2005-8 November 2005

No Entries

 

9 November 2005 Wednesday

Travel book to highlight Salt Lake as 'gay-friendly place to live' Author includes Utah's capital as 'bonus' entry By Erin Stewart Deseret Morning News

Salt Lake City will be highlighted as a "gay-friendly place to live" in an upcoming travel book, an unexpected inclusion in the volume that will be released this month.

"It's not what people expect. Many of us have this preconceived notion of what it's like to live in Salt Lake because of the church," said Gregory A. Kompes, author of "50 Fabulous Gay-friendly Places to Live." "But when you start meeting people and talking to people it's just this big umbrella that isn't reality."

Kompes was so impressed by Salt Lake City's gay community that he fought to keep the city on the list, finally compromising with his publisher to include Utah's capital city as a bonus 51st entry. His publisher simply could not reconcile the idea of Salt Lake City as a gay-friendly community because of the predominant Latter-day Saint religion and Utah's reputation as a Republican state, he said.

"This may be a shock to many, but when big city cosmopolitan meets rugged adventure in this clean, safe and beautiful city, Salt Lake City has become home to a large, organized and politically supported gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered community," Kompes writes in the book, published by Career Press.

Kompes based his criteria for the 51 cities on factors including nightlife, employment opportunities, local politics, and gay-owned business. Salt Lake City, he said, impressed him with its support of the gay community with an active Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgendered Community Center, and an annual Utah Pride parade in downtown Salt Lake City.

Efforts by Salt Lake Mayor Rocky Anderson to extend health insurance benefits to city employees were also a major factor in listing Salt Lake City in the book, Kompes said. "Just the fact that there was someone in such a high position

fighting for equality for gay people made me take a second look at the community," he said. "Those things stuck out and drew me in to learning more about Utah."

Anderson signed an executive order in September providing benefits to domestic partners of city employees, including gay and lesbian partners. Measures like that have brought attention to Salt Lake City and changed the perception of the city as wholly conservative, Anderson said.

"I think there is a misconception about Salt Lake. A lot of it is just long-term perceptions people have had about this place," he said. "But Salt Lake City is changing dramatically; we're far more diverse than anybody outside of Utah would ever dream. We're a lot more diverse than people in our own city realize."

Support for the gay and lesbian community does face an uphill battle in Salt Lake City, Anderson added, with residents voting for a state constitutional amendment banning gay marriage last year.

But Anderson said incremental changes — and recognition in Kompes' book — will slowly alter the way America views gay acceptance in Salt Lake City.

"I just think that there is a lot of progress. That growing acceptance of everybody regardless of sexual orientation is now recognized in this wonderful book, even if we are No. 51," Anderson said.

State Sen. Scott McCoy, D-Salt Lake, said that the city's "vibrant gay community" is one reason he and his partner decided to make their home here.

McCoy led the "Don't Amend Alliance" against the marriage amendment last year. McCoy said people outside of the state of Utah often have a preconceived notion about Salt Lake City until they come and see what the city has to offer.

            "I'm proud that Salt Lake is considered in this category, we have a lot to be proud of in our community," McCoy said. "It's a nod that even in the reddest state in the union, there is a progressive community."

Other cities that made Kompes' list include New York, Chicago, Minneapolis, and Tucson. The book is more of a travel guide to gay-friendly destinations than prose, Kompes said, pointing out the highlights of each city including weather, taxes, culture, and nightlife.

Contributing: Deborah Bulkeley

 

10 November 2005 Thursday

No Entry

 

11 November 2005 Friday

Partner benefits wins ACLU boost Heather May Salt Lake Tribune

The American Civil Liberties Union wants a judge to allow Salt Lake City to offer domestic-partner benefits to its employees, saying it's good for employees and for the community. The ACLU filed a friend-of-the-court brief Thursday asking 3^rd District Judge Stephen Roth to rule that Utah's traditional marriage laws don't stop cities from offering health benefits to the gay and unmarried partners of city employees.

The ACLU found a city employee who wants to sign up her lesbian partner for health and dental benefits. Dianna Goodliffe, a victim advocate in the police department, has been in a committed relationship with her partner, Lisa, for more than five years. While Lisa has health insurance through her job, she may opt to stay home to take care of the couple's daughter, who has diabetes.

"Dianna would like Salt Lake City to allow her to give the same protections to her family that married heterosexual employees are able to provide for their families," says the brief.

The ACLU is interested in the case, saying it presents implications on the civil rights of employees: the right to be free from discrimination based on their relationships and the right to equal compensation for equal work.

The city's employee union also joined the ACLU, saying the benefits are necessary to recruit and retain employees.

Mayor Rocky Anderson signed an executive order in September providing the domestic-partner benefits. But the city's insurance administrator asked Judge Roth to rule on whether those benefits are legal because of Utah's traditional marriage law and constitutional amendment - which the city and ACLU contend don't bar the benefits. So far, about 20 employees have expressed interest in applying for the benefits. -

 

12 November  2005 Saturday

Coyote Gulch Art Village  In Kayenta (Ivans, Utah) Registration 8 a.m. Walk 9 a.m. FREE HIV testing 10 a.m. Results given same day Poetry Reading 6:00 p.m. Coyote Gulch Art Village  Community Room For more information call (435)986-2589

HIV/AIDS TASK FORCE OF WASHINGTON COUNTY ANNOUNCES ELEVENTH ANNUAL AIDS AWARENESS WALK

Walkers, Volunteers and Sponsors Needed for the Saturday, November 12 Event Sponsored by The Independent ST. GEORGE, Utah – The HIV/AIDS Task Force of Washington County, announces the Eleventh Annual AIDS Awareness Walk on Saturday, Nov. 12, 2002. The walk will start at the Coyote Gulch Art Village parking lot in Kayenta.

Registration begins at 8:00 a.m., hot beverages and a muffin will be provided by Xetava Gardens. At 8:40 a.m. there will be brief announcements from walk organizers. Walkers will start at 9:00 a.m. and wind their way through a one mile long route through the neighborhood.

Free HIV testing will be offered at 10 a.m. This testing will be done using the new rapid testing method approved by the Utah Department of Health. Test results can be read in a short a time as twenty minutes.

The 1.-mile fun-walk will go through the beautiful residential area in Kayenta and back to the parking lot where there will be fruit and water from local supporters and the display of the Southern Utah AIDS Quilt.

The registration fee for walkers is $5. The first 50 walkers to register at the event will receive a 2005 AIDS Awareness Walk T-shirt and a coupon for the hot drink and muffin at Xetava Gardens. Walkers are encouraged to ask friends, family members and co-workers to walk with them or to support their walk with a donation the HIV/AIDS Task Force of Washington County.

The Task Force is also seeking volunteers to help at the walk and donations from local businesses for participant prize drawings. For more information on walk participation, volunteer opportunities or donations please call Ruthann Adams at the Southwest Utah Public Health Department, 435-986-2589.

The HIV/AIDS Task Force of Washington County is a group dedicated to educating the community about HIV and how to prevent it. HIV infections are rising steadily, especially in the group of young people ages 15 to 24, and anyone who engages in high-risk sexual practices and/or drug related behavior. Over 40 percent of the new HIV infections in Utah are drug related. Washington County has the second highest infection rate in the State of Utah.

 

13 November 2005-17 November 2005

No Entries

 

18 November 2005 Friday

Boy Scout leader charged with crimes against troop member by Justin Hill Salt Lake Tribune

A former Boy Scout leader has been charged with sodomizing one of the members of his Tooele County troop. Tooele County prosecutors on Nov. 4 charged Nicolas Kurtis Barnard, 22, with two-first degree felony counts of sodomy on a child. The counts stem from two occasions at Barnard's home when he was a Boy Scout leader, said Tooele County sheriff's Detective Jim Dekanich.

Barnard, of Tooele, had befriended the 13-year-old Boy Scout and started to give him gifts. The boy's mother became suspicious of what was going on and called the Sheriff's Office on Nov. 2, Dekanich said. Barnard was arrested Nov. 3.

He also worked at Hollywood Connection in West Valley City, where he was involved with a hockey team and ran an overnight camp. Dekanich asked people who believe their child may be a victim to call him at 435-843-3336.

Hedwig succeeds on local, transformative talent Review By Ellen Fagg The Salt Lake Tribune

Long story short: Hedwig, that vainglorious East German transsexual rocker, has tottered back into town on her 7-inch heels, and she's mesmerizing to watch. The character of Hedwig, as fully inhabited by the big pipes and transformative talent of local actor Aaron Swenson, is a force of entertainment who wills you to not look away as she strips herself before your eyes.

Swenson is well matched by the gritty, loud energy of the Angry Inch band as well as Jeanette Puhich as Hedwig's surly partner, Yitzak, who pulls off his own transformation story as a born-again drag queen.

But the story and the spotlight belongs to Hedwig, a pouty, raunchy, mincing drama queen. It's her over-the-top vanity that makes the particularity of her story - boy becomes scarred girl after a botched sex-change operation who is then betrayed by her born-again rock star boyfriend - seem universal.

By now, the musical of "Hedwig and the Angry Inch" has launched a mini-industry for regional actors whose voices can handle the rock score of songs like "Angry Inch" and "Wicked Little Town," and who have the oversized talent to make themselves over into queens of ambiguous sexuality.

John Cameron Mitchell's "Hedwig and the Angry Inch" was born in 1998 as a buzz-worthy, New York art-house musical, and then the 2002 hit movie. Swenson won critical acclaim when he created the character for Salt Lake audiences in Plan-B Theatre Company's smash-hit 2003 production.

The plot's basically a monologue, told by Hedwig through stories and songs, about herself. She's a repulsively attractive narcissistic rock singer who, while on a tour stopover at the Rose Wagner Theater in Salt Lake City, recounts the complicated story of her transformation from an East German boy to a transgendered divorcee stuck in a Midwestern trailer park. Along the way, she has fallen in love with another changeling, Tommy Gnosis, who steals Hedwig's songs on his way to becoming a Delta Center-sized rock star.

On opening night, more than a handful of audience members seemed pleased with their own punked-out attire, while everyone appeared well-primed for a raucous party, helped by the company's temporary license to serve beer.

Yet too many audience members were prompted to take bathroom breaks during the performance, which proved distracting.

There also were a few technical glitches to be worked out: hissing feedback of the sound system, as well as Swenson's lyrics and lines occasionally being swallowed by the band's loud accompaniment.

But those are small distractions, in this spectacle of a play whose performers successfully - even subversively - use the energy of a rock score to expose the human drive to find one's other half.

"Hedwig and the Angry Inch" WHERE: Rose Wagner Performing Arts Center, 138 W. 300 South, Salt Lake City. WHEN: Nov. 17; continues Thursdays through Sundays through Nov. 27. Curtain is 8 p.m. on weekdays; 3 and 8 p.m. on Saturdays; and 3 and 7 p.m. on Sundays. No performance on Thanksgiving. RUNNING TIME: 90-plus minutes, no intermission. TICKETS: $25, $20 for matinees, with discounts for students; 801- 355-ARTS or visit http://www. planbtheatrecompany.org. BOTTOM LINE: Drag queen energy employs raunch to sell a universal story.

 

19 November 2005 Saturday,

Beginnings A beginning is a dangerous thing. Perils lurk in all directions. A false step, a misplaced confidence, could lead one head long into madness, a vortex of darkness instead of transcendence. Where does one begin to tell a tale? Straight narrative? Whimsical essays? Solid but stogy chronology? To what purpose do I venture into the cyber world knowing that I shall ever be able to retrieve what I disclose. Once naked I can never be clothed again. A beginning is a dangerous thing.

 

20 November 2005 Sunday

Petition puts gay benefits on USU plate Issue on Faculty Forum agenda By Arrin Newton Brunson Special to The Tribune

LOGAN - After a nine-month hiatus, a proposal to offer domestic partners the same benefits enjoyed by married employees is back on at the Utah State University campus.

A professor - Barry Franklin of the College of Education and Human Services - has circulated a petition and won the right to raise the issue Monday before the USU Faculty Forum. And the Faculty Senate, on Dec. 5, could vote on whether it wants to further discuss the controversial issue.

The "Domestic Partners Benefit" proposal was dropped at the northern Utah university in March after USU legal counsel Craig Simper informed employees that Utah's Amendment 3, approved by popular vote in November 2004, defines marriage as a legal union between a man and a woman.

"No other domestic union may be recognized as a marriage or given the same or substantially equal legal effect," Simper said earlier this year, adding that the university wasn't interested in fighting this particular battle. "Utah State University does not want to be the test case and does not intend to be the test case," Simper said in March.

The University of Utah in Salt Lake City offers health insurance to employees' domestic partners, but the employee is required to bear the full cost of that insurance for the partner. "I'm not sure everyone who signed the petition is in favor of domestic-partner benefits," Franklin said Friday, "but apparently they agree that the discussion should take place." But not everyone is ready to talk about the issue.

On Friday afternoon Derek Mason, chairman of the USU Faculty Senate, said he had no comment, and Stan Albrecht, who became USU's president in January, would only respond through spokesman John DeVilbiss, who said: "It's possible that [the Senate] won't even vote to discuss it.

The president respects the process and wants to make sure the Faculty Senate has a chance to weigh in before he does." While the policy may have its critics, Franklin said the time has come for the university to provide the same benefits for all couples - especially gay and lesbian employees. "It's good business in terms of recruiting. We want to have the best faculty we can have," Franklin said. "We should discuss it and talk about it as matter of justice and good business."

 

21 November 2005 Monday

I was surprised to hear that Terry O’Brien was speaking to a Gay Mormon group in Provo, Utah. When I attended Cypress College I took an Introduction to Art Appreciation from him as part of my general education requirements. I don’t remember much about the class except that he was young, blond, and cute. He was one of the few Mormons teachers I had at Cypress. The other was Thomas V. Reeve.

            My Gay Mormon friend Kent Larson from Garden Grove always suspected Mr. O’Brien was Gay but I wasn’t sure until one time in 1984, I saw him in the pool and hot tub area of a gym in Orange, naked and surrounded by cute guys.

            Now 20 years later is at least addressing Gay issues, however in a very Mormon context.

An announcement from the Family Home Evening Yahoo Group posted an event today down in Provo.

“Below is this week’s FHE announcement: Hey all . . .Believe it or not, we've been going at this for a year now. And it's all due to great people like you. Thank you so much for your amazing contributions.

            This next week, we're excited to have Terry O'Brien, who was our very first speaker, speak to us again. His article "Deep Dark Sin, But Whose?" will be the launching point for his presentation. We've included the article in the body of this e-mail. So we'll see you all Monday, November 21, at Daniel's at 7. (1334 E

100 S, Salt Lake; no parking on University because they'll slap with you with a big fat ticket.)

And, as a reminder, we want new members to join the FHE family Online Forum. I mean, everyone is doing it. You should too. There are some great discussions going right now about arts & entertainment (such as anticipation for the upcoming release of Brokeback Mountain) and politics (including Gov. Schwarzenegger's response to Daniel's letter). There are also some great posts from different forum members about their coming out experiences with their families. You really ought to check it out. In order to join, you go to www.fhefamily.com and sign up.

Within a day or two, you will receive a confirmation that you are now a member and a request to send information to Daniel to identify yourself. That way we don't have any ill-willed lurkers on our board. At that point, feel free to post questions that you want to discuss. In fact, this would be a great forum to continue the discussion initiated during Terry's presentation. See you all soon. FHE family”

“DEEP DARK SIN, BUT WHOSE? By Terry O'Brien In light of several newspaper and magazine articles that have lately decried the increasing suicides of young people, I was discussing homosexuality with a friend. Although only an estimated 5% to 10% of young people are gay, they represent 30% of attempted suicides---Utah being one of the top ten states, with 66 deaths in the year 2000 alone, and one of the top three states for suicides by males between fifteen and nineteen.

There are many reasons for these tragedies (drugs, broken relationships, school, and family pressures, etc.), but why so high among homosexuals?* [I use the word "homosexual" to represent gays and lesbians in spite of insistence by some that such words are adjectives and not nouns. (Ensign, Oct. '95, p.9).

As one lesbian put it, "I am a noun, not an adjective." Would one say that a heterosexual is only an adjective?]

One gay LDS youth in California ended his life on the steps of the Stake Center [this year]. The discussion was going well, and my friend asked intelligent

questions, appeared non-judgmental and seemed to be grasping the complexities and stresses of the gay situation. Then, suddenly she grew uneasy. Her understanding had apparently reached its limit, and she felt she had conceded too much.

 "President Kimball," she reminded me, "was a prophet who wrote about homosexuality in Miracle of Forgiveness. He called it a "deep, dark sin." (p79). She preferred not to think about it or discuss it further. I have observed similar scenes and witnessed how easy it is for many people to let others do their thinking - or worse, to not think at all.

Brigham Young expressed concern for members who rely too heavily upon those who lead us, and neglect to enjoy the spirit for ourselves (Doct. Of Diety, 111). The First Presidency spokesman says ". . . it is not true that the LDS President's word is law on all issues." And President Kimball himself expressed concern over ". . . unthinking follow the leader mentality." (Quinn, The Mormon Hierarchy, Vol II, 832, 873).

President Hugh B. Brown, acting President for David O. McKay, said: "The church is not much concerned with whether the thoughts of its members are orthodox or heterodox as it is that they shall have thoughts. . . . Revealed insights should leave us stricken with the knowledge of how little we really know." He further added, "While I believe all that God has revealed, I am not quite sure I understand what he has revealed, and the fact that God has promised further revelation is to me a challenge to keep an open mind and be prepared to follow wherever my search for truth may lead." (Memoirs of Hugh B. Brown, Signature Books, 1988, 135-140)

We are told that even the elect can be deceived (or mistaken), and someone who knows President Kimball's daughter, says that upon his deathbed he told her his one regret in life was "that chapter on homosexuality." I have not been able to authenticate her statement, and President Kimball, if he did say it, is not here to explain what he meant specifically, but his son, Edward Kimball, told me that although he didn't know about that statement, his father did tell him that in writing the book he had, perhaps, been too hard. (Personal conversation 8/11/01).

After much reflection upon President Kimball's statement of "Deep, dark sin," I am now willing to concede that the practices involving the homosexual condition are indeed deep, dark sin. But let me explain.

No doubt there are homosexuals who use their sexuality impersonally to manipulate and control others, or as a game, mere entertainment, or release with no regard for the well-being or feelings of their partners. For some, nightly conquests are salve to soothe their psychological wounds, egos, and feelings of inadequacy. But these practices are not unique to the homosexual for many heterosexuals use similar ploys.

Mature homosexuals would decry such behavior on either side as irresponsible, but, at the same time, would likely agree with Paul Ferrini in his Silence of the Heart, p. 51, that "the only sexual ______________expression that is reprehensible is sex without love."

Many homosexuals, unwilling to face their future alone and emotionally unfulfilled, do practice loving and caring relationships with only one partner over a long period of time - and even for life - without the societal traditions and role models that support heterosexual marriages.

How ironic that while homosexuals are seeking to give permanence and stability to their relationships, heterosexuals are increasing their promiscuity, live-ins, no-fault divorce, and a 50% divorce rate. Yet same-sex unions are considered a threat to the "sanctity" of marriage.

Again, how ironic that the LDS Church which once considered polygamy a sin, and later embraced it whole-heartedly against strong societal pressure, now considers any marriage outside the norm of one man and one woman demeaning to the marriage covenant.

Elder Dallin Oaks, when questioned about homosexuality on a CBS news show, stated that it was not sex that was objectionable, but sex without marriage. But, he added that the church does not offer - and rejects -same-sex marriages, (as society once rejected polygamy to the LDS). How soon the rejected become the rejectors.

The issue about marriage, according to Andrew Sullivan in a recent TIME essay (June 30, 2003, p. 76), is not religious, but civil – an attempt to reverse an "illicit discrimination against a minority." "Religious groups," he says, "can well decide this matter on their own time." But he insists, it is also about respect, and adds: ". . . if the love of two people, committing themselves to each other exclusively for the rest of their lives, is not worthy of respect, then what is?"

Since many homosexuals will pair up anyway, perhaps the recent Canadian acceptance of Gay marriages will resolve the contradiction and encourage a binding tradition of civil unions, if not marriage, that will add further dignity, responsibility, and permanence to committed same-sex relationships.

No, the practice I refer to as "deep, dark sin" is not that of the committed homosexuals who choose to be loving, caring and responsible, but, ironically, of the people who censure them without question or attempt at understanding.

            Homosexuality is "deep" because it is complex and requires more than superficial examination and treatment. Homosexual feelings are often profound and far from the surface where uninformed judgment and easy "cures" deceptively promise removal. Like those of the heterosexual, these feelings are an integral part of one's being, extending deeply below the conscious level. They are difficult to comprehend (for the possessor as well as for the counselor), complicated to analyze, and basically, in many cases, unresponsive to permanent change. For whatever effect it may eventually prove to have, our DNA is determined long before we are born.

Homosexuality is "dark" because so many people are in the dark about it. President Kimball says it is "repugnant to those who find no temptation in it." Conversely, many homosexuals feel the same about heterosexuality--it is unnatural and therefore repugnant to them. And why stress the "temptation" part? Although neither Jesus nor Joseph Smith, nor the Book of Mormon or Doctrines and Covenants ever comment upon it, and the word, "homosexual" nowhere appears in the Bible, many people reject it based upon a few inconclusive statements which may be more about temple prostitution than about the love and long- term commitment of same-sex partners.

Why stress a few obscure passages about same-sex love then totally ignore other more direct statements in the O.T. about killing those who work on the Sabbath or curse their parents, and for women not to wear men's clothing – walk through the BYU campus and notice how many girls today prefer jeans over dresses.

How would our young Priesthood holders respond if we stressed Paul's admonition for men to not touch a woman nor seek a wife, or our sisters if we adhered to Paul's forbidding women to wear costly pearls or to speak in church or to teach? Is it not possible that ancient scriptures may have various personal, limited, outdated, or other interpretations?

True and committed love is encompassing and beautiful. Like heterosexuality, sex is only a small part of homosexual feelings, and for many has not even yet materialized. Homosexuals do not ask for license to sin or for heterosexuals to find temptation in it; they only ask for others to try to understand their feelings. Without understanding comes fear and prejudice--the ugly companions of rejection and persecution. Truth is light, and those who have come to accept the truth about themselves have learned to walk in its comforting warmth. Those who turn their backs on truth and light will see only the darkness of the shadows they cast.

Finally, many practices directed by heterosexuals at homosexuality are "sin." The practice of admonishing homosexuals to repent of that which they only discovered within themselves but did not choose. Teaching them to lie to themselves and others about who they are. The practice of making them feel unworthy for something that is natural to them. Misunderstanding, scorning, and rejection so that they learn to distrust or deny their deepest feelings and to hate themselves even to self-destruction.

And in extreme cases, the practice of gay bashing and even murder, as in the heart-rending case of Matthew Shepard, beat up and hung on a fence to die in freezing weather by homophobic youth [one of whom was LDS].

In place of Christian love and support, these demeaning practices heaped upon God's homosexual children by judgmental heterosexuals are in effect, sin, for sin blocks the natural progress and growth people of both sexual orientations were meant to experience from their special God-given challenges.

Sin is often defined as estrangement from God, who is defined by Mormons as a perfect male whom we are told to love with all our hearts, minds, might and strength--above all else. Yet homosexual males who have a deep understanding of what it is to love another male in a complete spiritual, social and emotional context (apart from the sexual), are told to repent of such "repugnant" feelings. If they were able to manipulate their natural feelings to become emotionally estranged from other men, would that not also negatively affect their psychological feelings toward Heavenly Father and Jesus? Would that rejection not then, for them, become sin—deep and dark? The same applies to Lesbians who are discouraged from loving a partner of their choice.

President Kimball, in the same chapter, p.82, also said, "How can you say the door cannot be opened until your knuckles are bloody, till your head is bruised, till your muscles are sore?"

After years of therapy, of prayer, of fasting, and of agonizing, many of our gay and lesbian brothers and sisters can honestly say "our knuckles are bloody, our heads are bruised, and our muscles are sore." And as a result, like the seed that must first pass through the dark earth while casting off its confining coat, the way for many has opened and they have emerged into the light of who and what they are with full acceptance of their same-sex feelings and unlimited potential for continued spiritual growth.

Years ago, the Church youth recited weekly, "Dare To Be Different," and it is hoped that with increased understanding, love and acceptance, today's gay youth will no longer loathe their being different, no longer betray themselves in others' expectations, or feel trapped in the bonds of "deep, dark sin" heaped upon them by the well-meaning but uninformed.

Trusting the voice within, they will refuse to accept shame for who they are, beat themselves up, or attempt suicide as the only solution. With the help of caring family and friends, and with spiritual strength from an unconditionally- loving Father in Heaven, they can joyfully recognize, honor, and own their unique experience with life – including the trials – as personal gifts from God for growth.

As they let go of the past, gently dismiss the critics, open themselves to new discoveries, and choose whatever path works for them, they will finally say, "We have found the light of truth within ourselves, and, as promised, it has made us free."

[2011-: Terry O’Brien has spent thirty years as a professor of art history at Cypress College, focusing on the art of ancient America. His avocation has been the study of Book of Mormon geography and archeological evidence supporting various theories. He has taken 25 trips to Mexico, Central America, and South America and for many years has guided tours to various ruins. He has lectured for BYU “Know Your Religion” and participated in conferences and seminars concerning ancient America. Terry is the author of the book Fair Gods and Feathered Serpents: A Search for Ancient America’s Bearded White God.]

 

22 November 2005  Tuesday

Looking at the Family Home Evening Gay Mormon site I saw this posting that made me wonder if this kid was related to C. Terry Warner my old Branch President at BYU back in 1974. I heard from Brent Pace that he had a Gay son.

“Subject: New Family Home Evening Group for active LDS Gays -Hey Everyone, My name is Terence Warner and I'm 19 years old, and I'm Mormon. I participate in a group called FHE family. This is the discussion group for Seagull Forums which is not something very many of you will be familiar with.

However, you may have heard about these FHE meetings on Monday night. Many people think that these are just regular Mormon religious meetings in the spirit of LDS FHE. However, it is much different than that. FHE is not misapplied in that we are "family," and we meet in a home as a group. However, we are a queer-theory-meets-Mormon-studies-theology-group.

It's wonderful for me to be able to say I'm going to FHE to my parents. And the fact is, I'm not lying. The group is good for all of the people who go. Those looking to remain celibate and have faith promoting experiences, as well as those people who want to expand their understanding of the world around them and discuss philosophical implications of our experiences.

Our Monday night meetings have helped me come to terms with being Mormon and homosexual. The group has provided me with useful information about a wide range of topics, from human sexuality to religious theology. We spend a lot of time talking about dealing with family, the church, getting into politics and wide range of other issues that people deal with including emotional and physical responses to their homosexuality.

Anyhow, this is my invitation to all of you to join our group. This week is our one year anniversary. We are inviting back our speaker from the very first FHE. Terry O'Brien. An active member of the church… It will be a great meeting and would be so much fun if you were all to come and join us, there are so many interesting people here, you're sure to meet new friends and gain new understandings. Hope to see you there. Sincerely, Terence Warner.

            I sent a message to the group. Subject: Addendum-New Family Home Evening Group for active LDS Gays - Regarding the posting about a FHE group for active LDS Gays, while no longer of the Mormon persuasion myself, I feel anything that can relieve some of the incredible stifling oppression placed on Gay

people in Utah County is a good thing.

Terry O'Brien was once an art appreciation instructor at Cypress College in Orange County California. I took a class from him in 1971 when I was 20 and he could not have been much older. He was a heart throb but Mormon.

Last I saw of him was in 1983 sitting in a hot tub surrounded by a bevy of beautiful men at an all men's health club in OC.

I knew no Mormons until I attended Junior College and my greatest teacher was Thomas V. Reeve who taught history there and was as it turned out also Mormon.

I became close friends with a Gay Mormon boy named Kent Larsen, an art major who introduced me into not only the world of Mormonism but Gay Mormons. I thought the LDS Church was cool because of all these Gay people. (Boy was I wrong).

 While I have no fondness for the LDS Church any more I do miss the Gay Mormons of my youth even if most of them were pompous little shits. They couldn't help having been brainwashed that they were 'born under the covenant' and there for better than those who weren't.

At BYU, my first Branch President that I confessed "sins" to was C. Terry Warner. I've heard that he has Gay children. I wonder if this Terence Warner is one of them?”

Paul Mero of the Sutherland Institute is going around trying to get cities to adopt a resolution that families are only made up of a father and a stay at home mother.

            Mike Thompson of Equality Utah sent this out regarding North Salt Lake’s council meeting where Mero’s resolution is supposed to be voted on and adopted.

“Subject: NORTH SALT LAKE RESOLUTION DEFINING "FAMILIES" ACTION

The North Salt Lake City Council is considering adopting the following proposed

Resolution at tonight's Council meeting:

RESOLUTION NO. 05-9R THE NATURAL FAMILY: A VISION FOR THE CITY OF NORTH SALT LAKE

WHEREAS the natural family is the fundamental unit of society and is

entitled to protection in Utah by local and state governments; and

WHEREAS the natural family is the locus of the true common good and

that citizens of the City of North Salt Lake  help ourselves when we  help our families; and

WHEREAS the natural family results in healthier, happier, more productive, and more civically-engaged adults as well as healthier, happier, safer, and better educated children; and

            WHEREAS, the most serious public pathologies-including crime, delinquency, illegal drug use, domestic violence, long-term poverty, and low educational achievement-are closely associated with family breakdown and disorder; then,

BE IT RESOLVED that the City of North Salt Lake, Utah, adopts the  following vision as a guide to policy formation and public action:

We envision a local culture that upholds the marriage of a woman to a man, and a man to a woman, as ordained of God. This culture affirms marriage as the best path to health, security, fulfillment, and joy. It casts the home built on marriage as the source of true political sovereignty and ordered liberty. It also holds the household framed by marriage to be the primary economic treasures private property in family hands as the rampart of independence and liberty. It celebrates the marital sexual union as the unique source of new human life. We see our homes as open to a full quiver of children, the source of family continuity and social growth. We envision young women growing into wives, homemakers, and mothers; and we see young men growing into husbands, homebuilders, and fathers.

            We see true happiness as the product of persona enmeshed in vital bonds with spouses, children, parents, and extended family.

We look to a landscape of family homes, lawns, and gardens busy with useful tasks and ringing with the laughter of many children.

We envision parents as the first educators of their children.

We see homes that also embrace extended family members who need special care due to age or infirmity.

We view local neighborhoods and communities as the second focus of political sovereignty.

We envision a freedom of commerce that respects and serves family integrity.

And we look to local government that holds the protection of the natural family to be their first responsibility.

Equality Utah's response to this Resolution is as follows: Although we appreciate value that the City of North Salt Lake's proposed Resolution places on families, we believe this Resolution is short-sighted and fails to acknowledge other valid family units. Mike Thompson wrote The  Resolution, which only recognizes natural families with both a husband and wife present in the home, fails to recognize single-parent families, families with foster and adopted children and well as families of same-sex partners. It saddens me that these families, and other non-traditional families, are neither recognized as valid nor accepted as contributing members the North Salt Lake community.

            Mike Thompson then asked, “Please call or email the City of North Salt Lake City and ask them  not pass this Resolution tonight. Phone number:  801.936.3877 press 0 for the operator

Mayor Kay Briggs; City Council Chairman Dale Lambert, Councilman Lynn Ballard, Councilman CJ Jacobson, Councilman Gene Madsen, Councilman Conrad Nelson, Councilman Bryan Morley, and Councilman B Muir                      

If are able to attend the Council meeting, the meeting will be held at the North Salt Lake City Hall at 7pm. The resolution is on the Agenda for 9:30.  The address of North Salt Lake City Hall is 20 South Hwy 89 in North Salt Lake. Mike Thompson Executive Director Equality Utah 175 West 200 South, Ste. 2010 Salt Lake City, UT  84101 phone 801.355.3479

Equality Utah is the state's lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender political advocacy group and works to empower our community and allies to become actively involved in all levels of the political process.

            I taught all of Lynn Ballard’s kids when I taught at Orchard Elementary over the years. Bryan Morley’s son Christopher was a spoiled obnoxious kid  who because his dad was Bishop thought he could get by with anything. Bryan Morley was very patronizing to me when I would let him know what Chris was doing in class to be mean and disruptive.

Donald Steward also sent out thus message, “Dear Leadership Folks, Apparently this resolution was crafted by the Sutherland Institute (whose attorney lives in North Salt Lake) and sent to NSL, but it has also been forwarded to other City Councils across the state (I know Mapleton is also up for a vote). It looks like Paul Mero and the gang at Sutherland have starting gay baiting early this year, trying to frame the pro-family, anti-gay debate well before the legislative  session.

Don.”

 

23 November 2005 Wednesday

The Salt Lake Tribune covered the shenanigan at the North Salt Lake city council last night.

“Institute urges cities to map out family roles By Lori Buttars The Salt Lake Tribune -NORTH SALT LAKE - A Utah-based conservative group is asking cities and counties across the state to put a "family filter" on their policymaking. In a letter mailed last month, Paul T. Mero, president of the Sutherland Institute, urges mayors and council members to pass a nonbinding resolution sanctioning the "natural family as the fundamental unit of society." Mero even provides a sample resolution for elected officials to use in their official proclamations.

The document calls for cities to "envision a local culture" that:  "Upholds the marriage of a woman to a man, and a man to a woman, as ordained of God."  "Celebrates the marital sexual union as the unique source of new human life."  "See[s] our homes as open to a full quiver of children."  "Envisions young women growing into wives, homemakers and mothers; and . . . young men growing into husbands, home builders and fathers."

Nearly a dozen opponents attended Tuesday's North Salt Lake City Council meeting, where the resolution died for a lack of a motion. "I don't care if the neighbors have no children or 10," said 70-year-old North Salt Lake resident Dale Elton. "The City Council should stick to what it does best, plenty of water and good sewage."

Councilman Conrad Nelson said he had received several "not very nice" e-mails regarding the resolution. "Please don't assume that just because we receive something in the mail that it has been accepted," he said.

Salt Lake City and other several other cities say they haven't seen the letter. South Jordan received it but decided against putting it on the council agenda. In conservative Utah County, Mapleton's City Council discussed the measure last week but shot it down. Mapleton Councilman Jim Brady said Tuesday that his city had "several reservations" about the definition of the natural family and the roles spelled out for women and men. "We were also concerned that it specified we make protecting the natural family our first priority," Brady said. "We have lots of concerns as a city but decided defining this was not our highest priority."

Contacted on Tuesday afternoon, Mero said he had not checked with any cities to see if they were adopting his proposal, but he was pleased that some considered it. "They [the cities] are sending a message throughout Utah and the world that there are places where family values are safe and in place," he said. "Utah, where 68 percent of the mothers with children under age 6 work outside the home, is often dishonest in saying this is a family place because when you look at the statistics, we look a lot like the rest of the country."

Mero calls the resolution a "vision statement" for local government to use, and not a list of do's and don'ts. "By using family as a filter, things begin to look different to people considering a tax policy, an environmental policy or whatever," he said.

The resolution troubles, among others, advocates of rights for women and gays. "It violates so many of the rights guaranteed by the Constitution and the Bill of Rights, I don't know where to begin," said Amber Moore-Emmett, president of the Utah chapter of the National Organization for Women. "This definition of the natural family is unrealistic and disrespectful to the many people who are raising

thriving families as single or adoptive parents and in same-sex relationships."

Moore-Emmett also emphasizes that the reference to marriage between a man and a woman as "ordained of God" crosses the line separating church and state - if a city were to officially adopt it.

Sen. Scott McCoy, D-Salt Lake City, and an openly gay member of the Utah Legislature, wrote North Salt Lake officials Tuesday and urged them not to embrace the resolution, saying it was nothing short of strapping "on the blinders and see[ing] only a particular segment of the population."

North Salt Lake Mayor Kay Briggs says he sees "some benefit" to the city making a statement on families, but he concedes Sutherland's proposal might rankle residents. ''People might read that [resolution] and say, 'Kay Briggs thinks all women should stay home and make strawberry jam' or that I'm totally against people raising a family in whatever situation gives them the most comfort and solace,'' he said. ''I didn't read that into it, and I'm not opposed to discussing it.''

North Salt Lake City Council Chairman Dale Lambert doubts the resolution would gain any traction in the capital, where officials are trying to extend health benefits to domestic partners. Such resolutions, Lambert said, "tend to be divisive and distract us from our fundamental work."

Tribune reporters Heather May and Jacob Santini contributed to

this story.

 

24 November 2005 Thursday Thanksgiving

Mike Romero left out early this morning to head to Rawlins, Wyoming for Thanksgiving. His Mom and Dad wanted us to come up and since he and I have tomorrow off we said we would. I had yesterday off but Mike didn’t.

            We took Priscilla, Saffy, and Smokey with us and only stopped at Little America to let the pups out and to stretch.

            The roads were okay and we made it in about five hours at around 2. Michael’s sister Michelle and her boyfriend ate with us and Faye made a big turkey and all the trimmings as she usually does. It was nice and afterwards sat in the enclosed porch over looking the train station and visited.

            We spent the night but will head home tomorrow.

 

25 November 2005 Friday

Mike Thompson posted a thank you for the community’s response to yesterday's Action Alert. He wrote, “The North Salt Lake City Council received your calls and emails  opposing the proposed "Natural Family" Resolution and voted it down at last night's Council meeting. The full story can be found in today's Deseret  Morning News:North S.L. shrugs at family resolution-

According to today's Salt Lake Tribune, the Sutherland Institute is "asking cities and counties across the state to put a 'family filter' on  their policymaking." This same Resolution has been sent to city councils across the state. More information can be found in today's Tribune  article: Institute urges cities to map out family roles.

A copy of the Resolution will be available later this morning on the "Current Issues" page of the Equality Utah website.

I encourage you to take the time to send an email to your city council  representative to express your thoughts on this Resolution. I wish we could provide you with a complete list of all council members' email addresses for each municipality statewide; however, we do not have such a list. Please visit your city's website to obtain that information.

If you choose to write your councilperson, please remember that a positive, respectful tone adds to the credibility of your message. Happy Thanksgiving - we appreciate your efforts & support. Regards, Mike Thompson Executive Director Equality Utah

Chuck Whyte and Kim Russo are hosting a benefit tonight for the People’s Concern Fund at the Lesbian bar Paper Moon.

“Prince Royale 23, Kim Russo and Chuck Whyte, Grand Duke XXX Along With the Royal Court of the Golden Spike Empire Present "GRATITUDE". A benefit for the People’s Concern Fund. Door Proceeds and proceeds from the raffle and “Bail a Friend out of Jail” to help out a community friend, Brook Heartsong, We are trying to get her a portable oxygen machine.

            So let’s help out a friend of the community who has given so much of her time and caring to all of us. $5.00 at the door for members and $6 for non-members.

 

26 November 2005 Saturday

No Entries

 

27 November 2005  Sunday

I just stayed home this evening still tired from the fast turn around trip to Rawlins even though Mike Romero drove most of the way home. It was a little dicey at Three Sisters on I-80.

            The Utah AIDS Foundation is holding a Special event to go see the musical Rent at the Gateway. I wouldn’t go even if I was feeling okay because I didn’t really care for the movie.

“ Wear RED and join the Utah AIDS Foundation and all of our friends to watch…Rent A film based on the fabulous Broadway hit by Jonathan Larson, Rent tells the story of a group of young East Villagers in New York City striving for success and acceptance while enduring the obstacles of poverty, illness, and the AIDS epidemic. Sunday, November 27, 2005 4 p.m. @ The Gateway $5.25/per person.

Help The Utah AIDS Foundation kick off a week of events celebrating World AIDS Day December 1, 2005. World AIDS Day is dedicated to increasing awareness, education and fighting prejudice for HIV/AIDS. Please WEAR RED to show your support. We hope to see you there!!!

            Surprisingly, I received an email from Ben Barr who was the first director of the Utah AIDS Foundation after the Salt Lake AIDS Foundation and AIDS Project Utah merged in 1989.

Hi Ben and Utah History Buffs. Greetings from California. I saw that UAF is celebrating their 20 year anniversary. It made me think of an article about AIDS in Utah that the NY Times published in 1986. It was quite a big deal at the time -- the Salt Lake Tribune even wrote an article about the NY Times covering AIDS in Utah. I found the article on the times archive. All the best Ben Barr

“October 30, 1986 UTAH NOW FACING PROBLEM OF AIDS By ROBERT LINDSEY, Special to the New York Times-For years, many residents of this predominantly Mormon state believed there was no AIDS problem, in line with the church's conservative sexual teaching.

            Now, at the suggestion of the state's small community of homosexuals, Gov. Norman H. Bangerter has proclaimed this ''AIDS Awareness Week,'' and Mayor Palmer DePaulis of Salt Lake City has taken a lead in warning residents about the spread of acquired immune deficiency syndrome. The fatal disease is transmitted by a virus through sexual contacts or exchanges of blood that, in the United States, has principally affected homosexual males and intravenous drug abusers.

More than 65 percent of Utah's 1.6 million residents are Mormons, members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, a fast-growing religious organization whose doctrines rank homosexuality, adultery, and fornication next to murder in grievousness among major sins.

Warnings Since 1981-Some physicians here have been warning since 1981 that Utah, like any other state, was susceptible to the spread of AIDS. But because the conservative Mormon influence is so strong here, many Utahans predicted that their state would be little affected by the disease. Some church leaders had said it emergence proved that God shared the Mormons' condemnation of homosexuality.

Now some residents say that it is time to acknowledge how difficult it can be to suppress human sexual conduct and that Utah has been affected by many of the same currents of change that have affected American society elsewhere.

Church members who become identified as homosexuals are directed by the church to marry, and they face excommunication if they do not cease homosexual contacts. In a state so dominated by one religion, this can lead to social ostracism and difficulty in obtaining or keeping a job, former members of the church say.

As a result, these former members say there is great pressure not to acknowledge a homosexual orientation.

Despite the vigorous moral climate, however, Utah has not been spared a problem with AIDS. #47 Cases Since '83 Since August 1983, according to Craig Nichols, the state epidemiologist, 47 Utahans have been diagnosed as having AIDS, and 24 of the victims have died. Although the rate of infection is a tiny fraction of that in coastal cities such as New York or San Francisco, state health officials expect the number of cases to grow, especially among bisexual males.

Health officials say the strong religious and social pressure on Utahans to marry and the strong taboo against homosexuality have led an unknown number of Mormon men to lead double lives; after yielding to pressure to enter a heterosexual marriage they continue to have sexual relations with men, and if they become infected with AIDS there is a high risk that they will transmit the disease to their wives and unborn children.

''Because of the cultural differences here,'' said Jessalyn Pittman, director of the AIDS Control Program in the Utah Department of Health, ''we're very concerned about the problem of bisexual men.'' 'You Can't Believe the Guilt'

''A lot of men are forced to marry, and then they play around on the side,'' said Davyd Daniels, a former Mormon who said that when he was 12 years old he tried to commit suicide because he could not deal with the conflicts between his homosexual urges and the guilt he said the church imposed on him because of its renunciation of homosexuality. ''You can't believe the guilt,'' he said.

''We have people committing suicide all the time because they can't handle it,'' said Ben Barr, assistant director of a group largely composed of homosexuals that organized ''AIDS Awareness Week.''

Mr. Barr, who is 26 years old and Jewish, said that although he was not a Mormon he still felt pressure as a fourth-generation Utahan to marry young and did so when he was 16, even though he realized he was a homosexual. Now divorced, Mr. Barr has a 10-year-son.

William Blevins, 40, a former librarian at the Mormon Church's genealogical center, said the church put pressure on him to marry at 24 in the belief ''it would cure me'' of homosexual leanings.

Homosexual Organizations-It did not, he said, adding that ''I still had my feelings'' and that after he fathered four children the church discharged him, then

excommunicated him and forced him to disclose the identities of several other employees at the church's headquarters with whom he had had sexual relations. He said his wife left him and remarried and he no longer has custody of the children.

Despite the strong taboos against homosexuality, a half-dozen bars cater to homosexuals here and homosexuals have their own monthly magazine, several social organizations and their own church, Affirmation, that follows many Mormon teachings.

Mr. Nichols, the state epidemiologist, estimates there are 30,000 homosexual men in the state. Homosexual leaders assert the number is much larger because many Mormon husbands, in Mr. Daniels's words, ''are afraid to come out of the closet.''

 

28 November 2005 Monday

29 November 2005 Tuesday

Actress Wendie Jo Sperber died of breast cancer at the age of 47. She is best remember as pining for Marty McFly in the "Back to the Future" trilogy but my favorite role of hers was TV’s Bosom Buddies where Tom Hanks and Peter Scolari dressed in drag

 

30 November 2005

No Entry .

December

 

1 December 2005 Thursday

Today is my nephew James Clark’s 37^th birthday and it’s World AIDS Awareness Day.

            Stuart Merrill, who is an AIDS activist, was on KCPW 88.3 this morning.

This kid on BS Survivor is all in the news for being a Gay Mormon although I haven’t watched any of this season’s show. “Gay Mormon gets real on 'Survivor' Talk of the Morning: Utah's Prime-Time Connection By Vince Horiuchi The Salt Lake Tribune    In a television reality show based on deception and trickery, a self-described "gay, Mormon, Ivy League grad, wilderness guide" who was born in Salt Lake City is leading this season's "Survivor." Rafe Judkins, a Brown University graduate who now lives in Providence, R.I., is one of six remaining players to "outwit, outplay and outlast" in the jungles of Guatemala on the hit CBS series, which airs tonight at 7 p.m. on KUTV Channel 2. And in the face of the show's typically backstabbing, conniving gameplay, Judkins is "surviving" with honesty, sincerity and a positive outlook, traits he has in part attributed to his faith.

But his announcement in last week's episode about his sexuality and faith has led many fans of the top-10 show to wonder: Can someone be gay and Mormon?

"Is Rafe setting himself up for discipline from his local temple when he describes himself as a gay Mormon?" asked one fan on message forums for Television- WithoutPity.com, a TV fan site.

In Judkins' case, the answer is no because he was never baptized in the church, although he was raised in a large family of active Mormons in Utah, including more than 50 cousins and some 20 aunts and uncles who still live in the state.

Nevertheless, the 22-year-old considers himself a member of the Mormon faith. "I would call myself a gay Mormon. They [the church] would not call me a Mormon. But it's a part of who I am. I grew up with my family, we eat scalloped potatoes at funerals, we have Jell-O all the time like we're Mormon," he joked in an interview with CBS.com (contestants are not allowed to talk to news media during the show's run.)

"Mormons are so focused on family and caring for other people, and there are so many things about the Mormon religion that I want to bring to my life," he added. "When I have a husband and kids, I want us to have Family Home Evening on Monday nights, and I'll get together and play board games or do whatever. I think the Mormon church has so much good that you can take from it."

Judkins has been one of the few contestants in the show's 11 seasons to play the game with little or no deceit, instead choosing to be genuine and loyal to alliances with tribe mates. In one episode, he was near tears over the way one of his teammates taunted a rival contestant during a challenge.

"[His personality] is a combination of who he is and his religious views," said his mother, Lani Lee, a former artist who helps run Judkins' father's invention business in Pittsburgh. "He went to seminary in high school. He's a Mormon in heritage."

Judkins and his family moved from Salt Lake City to Pittsburgh when he was about 5. He has degrees in anthropology and biology but wants to be a Hollywood screenwriter.

Though his sexuality has been known to his immediate family for some time, his extended relatives in Utah were not aware of it until this last summer. "It wasn't a shock to me, but I'm sure it was to other people," Lee said of her son's homosexuality. "[The relatives] said, 'This is a shock, but we're drawing the wagons around you.' "

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, like Catholics and Baptists, believes engaging in homosexuality is a sin. In the LDS Church, such behavior leads to excommunication.

"We cannot stand idle if they indulge in immoral activity, if they try to uphold and defend and live in a so-called same-sex marriage situation," wrote LDS President Gordon B. Hinkley in 1998. "To permit such would be to make light of the very serious and sacred foundation of God-sanctioned marriage and its very purpose, the rearing of families."

Rafe's rising popularity on "Survivor" has made him "an icon of sorts" in the gay and lesbian community, said Michael Aaron, executive editor of Salt Lake Metro, a Utah gay and lesbian biweekly newspaper that featured Judkins on the cover in September. "The stereotype of the gay man is that he always goes to the bars and does alcohol and drugs and sex," Aaron said. "And it turns out we have a person who is the flagship gay boy who doesn't smoke or drink and has had a partner of so many years. To show that side of the community is new and unusual.

"They [other gays] can see that there's somebody more like them that doesn't speak with a lisp or the stereotype that they internalize themselves," he added. "They can relate better to him than to Jack on "Will & Grace" or what goes on in the "Queer as Folk" shows."

Russ Gorringe, president of Reconciliation, a Utah-based gay and lesbian group that still embraces the Mormon faith, agrees Judkins is good for the image of gays who do not want to shed their Mormonism. "They come out of the closet to be a whole person, to be who they are. But often, by coming out of the closet, they put their faith in the closet and bolt the doors," Gorringe said. "And that is sad because there is a place for us at the table of Christ."

I saw that Melanie Bailey was in the news again this time up at the U of U campus. “Police respond to harassment By: Andrew Kirk Four University of Utah Police Department cars drove down sidewalks toward the Union on Thursday afternoon in response to a sexual harassment complaint.

Representatives from the Lesbian Gay Student Union were tabling in the Union building to promote World AIDS Day when a young man began crumpling their handouts and refused to leave them alone.

"He kept walking past saying, 'F*** queers,' flipping us off and trying to tear down our sign," said Thomas Nelson, sophomore in communication and co-president of the LGSU. Nelson was joined by John Spillman, a senior in political science and sociology, and Mell Bailey from Salt Lake Metro, a newspaper for the homosexual community.

"I've been to every campus around, and I've never seen that before," said Bailey, who made the call. Nelson said he was grateful for the quick response from campus security. "We appreciate that this is the first and only incident like this so far this year," he said of the harassment.

Bailey said she only wanted the young man to leave them alone. "I didn't want it to be such a big deal," she said of the five security personnel who detained the young man. Spillman, Bailey and Nelson decided not to press charges after the young man apologized for his actions. UUPD Public Information Officer Lynn Rohland has not returned phone calls to provide more information about the young man.

 

2 December 2005 Friday

No Entry

 

3 December 2005 Saturday

I decided to start a new group on Yahoo Groups for all the Gay rabble rousers and people who have something to say. I called it “the Hyde Park Gay Forum Utah.

Background: Speaker's Corner, located in Hyde Park, London is the spiritual home of the British democratic tradition of soapbox oratory. In 1866 Edmund Beales' Reform League marched on Hyde Park where great scuffles broke out between the League and the police. Eventually the Prime Minister of Great Britain allowed the meetings to continue unchallenged and since 1872, people have been allowed to speak at Speaker's Corner on any subject they want to. Ever since people from all walks of life have gathered to listen to speeches about anything and everything... and to heckle. The coherence of the speakers varied greatly as does the topics of discussion, but as a whole it makes for great theatre.

I want the Hyde Park Gay Forum Utah to also be a free speech zone so that all Soap box orators and speech makers welcome. I am letting people sound off about any issue within the Lambda Queer Community of Utah. Hopefully, people will address personal concerns or tell community leaders what they think in a respectful many but knowing this community who knows.

America is all about the free exchange of ideas whether they are politically correct, popular, or just plain stupid. So, if someone has a burning desire to share an opinion with Queer Utah, I hope they will start pontificating. The groups address is “gay_forum_utah@yahoogroups.com”

“Welcome to the Hyde Park Gay Forum Utah- I am eager to read the great discussions that will eventually be posted on this site. As moderator I am only working in that capacity only to screen unsolicited porno sites. It seems that whenever the word Gay appears Porno purveyors are quick to follow. I have absolutely no problem with the enjoyment of porno by consenting adults but it should be a personal choice. Also if I feel that if a posting would be considered threatening to anyone, I will resend it back to the poster to recompose. Free Speech should not be a license to defame, slander, liable, or threaten others. Let's put away the venom and have civil discourse and intercourse. However being civil is not that same as being passive. And while I also believe in civil disobedience I also believe one should be willing to accept consequences on one's actions. Being popular is not the same as being right. However being right maybe the only satisfaction one can have at times. Take being a democrat in Utah for example. LOL Occasionally a timely topic will be posted on this site to generate and stimulate your biggest sex organ.... Your Brain.

 

4 December 2005- 5 December 2005

 

6 December 2005 Tuesday

I heard that Carla Gordain is one of them who applied for benefits for her and Debbie Rosenberg since Carla works for the city.

16 SLC workers apply on partners' behalf By Lori Buttars The Salt Lake Tribune- Sixteen Salt Lake City employees are ready to take out health insurance for their domestic partners - as soon as a 3rd District judge rules on whether the city's new benefits program is legal. The deadline for the partner-benefits program passed last week.

Sixteen of the 28 employees who requested packets completed the applications. They won't be processed until at least Jan. 5. That's when Judge Stephen Roth will hear arguments from attorneys representing three citizens who sued the city, charging that Mayor Rocky Anderson's plan to extend benefits to domestic partners violates Utah's Defense of Marriage Act.

"If the judge says it's OK, we'll process the paperwork," said Jodi Langford, Salt Lake City employee-benefits administrator. "Otherwise, we'll just hold on to them until it is resolved one way or another."

According to the application forms, city employees had to agree to certain criteria to qualify. The main requirement is that the couple declare they have been together for at least six months and have a "long-term committed relationship and intend to remain together indefinitely." Other requirements include documentation for joint mortgages or leases, joint ownership of a vehicle or power of attorney.

"We won't know how much it will cost the city - assuming the judge allows it - until a full year passes and all the claims have been processed," Langford added.

The Salt Lake City Council also is waiting for the ruling before proceeding with its plan to extend benefits on a household basis - allowing employees to include siblings or aging parents - as well as domestic partners. "It won't preclude us from proceeding forward," said Councilwoman Jill Remington Love. "But it could help us prepare in case our benefits plan ends up in court."

            The Logan campus the Utah State University is also wringing their hands over whether they provide domestic partner benefits in lieu of last years Amendment 3 ban on Gay Marriage.

USU Senate plans an open discussion on partner benefits By Arrin Newton Brunson Special to The Tribune-LOGAN - It's an issue that won't go away, and the Utah State University Faculty Senate said Monday it is ready and willing to talk about domestic partner benefits for gay and lesbian employees.

A majority of the 50-plus group of professors, who represent all of the land-grant institution's colleges and extension programs, said they want to bring the controversial issue out from behind closed doors.

More than two-thirds of the group approved a motion to make all previously gathered information and opinion about domestic partner benefits, as well as all new data presented by faculty members, available online to university employees in anticipation of making a recommendation to USU President Stan Albrecht in the future. Same-sex-partner benefits have been quietly debated on the campus for more than three years, but the Faculty Senate was denied the opportunity to discuss two specific domestic partner benefit proposals when the Faculty Senate Executive Committee killed them this spring, amid budget negotiations with state legislators.

In March, USU legal counsel Craig Simper said, "Utah State University does not want to be the test case and does not intend to be the test case."

The University of Utah in Salt Lake City has since begun to offer insurance to same-sex partners, a benefit that is paid in full by the employee partner.

USU Faculty Senate Chairman Derek Mason told the group Monday that a petition recently initiated by Barry Franklin of the College of Education and Human Services was valid and that all 28 signatures had been verified for proper employment rank and authenticity. Arguments for and against providing health benefits for same-sex partners began immediately Monday.

Computer science professor Gregory Jones said some of the definitions of domestic partnership "clearly run afoul of the amendment passed in Utah last November," which defines marriage as a legal union between a man and a woman. Another faculty senator said marriage has nothing to do with the partner benefits issue, a case that is being made by the ACLU.

"Given what goes on in the rest of the U.S., the number, I think, of same-sex domestic partners, would be under 10 for this university - more like 2 to 4," said Stephen Bialkowski, a chemistry professor. "It came down to less than $1 per member per year to support that."

The committee will add new developments to its previous findings and post them online. Although some USU senators were skeptical of the online public dialogue, Professor Dallas Holmes denounced censorship of the issue. "I would like to see that, as an institution of higher education, we accept the opportunity to receive knowledge as it continues to grow in this area."

Tom Schroeder said Salt Lake City's new policy has come under fire because the domestic partner benefits information was not available to the committee before the decision was made.

 

7 December 2005-8 December 2005

No entries

9 December 2005 Friday

One part of The Royal Court’s “Snow Ball,” a fund raiser for their "People with AIDS Fund" was held tonight at The Trapp Door and the second part will be held tomorrow at Rose Wagner Theater. The Trapp door show’s cover is $5.00 and Saturday night cover is $20 which includes a dinner and a, show. Chuck Whyte always bids on the silent auction. The theme this year is a “campy candy Christmas.” 

 

10 December 2005 Saturday

Comedian Richard Pryor, died today at the age of 65. I thought he was funny and surprised in lived this long from all the drugs in did in the seventies and I guess he almost did when he caught fire freebasing. I heard he was bi-sexual as he once said, “I’ve sucked a dick.”

 

11 December 2005-15 December 2005

No Entries

 

16 December 2005 Friday

Chris Butter is like a perpetual Grinch with a heart two sizes too small. He’s determined to make the lives of Gay high school kids desperate.

“Gay-straight clubs under fire Lawmaker pushes ban on school alliances, vows: 'I will prevail' By Glen Warchol The Salt Lake Tribune

Sara Hardcastle, the president of Hillcrest High School's Gay Straight Alliance club, says people like Utah Sen. Chris Buttars scare her. Buttars, a West Jordan Republican, is vowing to push a bill through the upcoming Legislature to outlaw gay-straight clubs in Utah high schools. "I will prevail," he says.

"We are being targeted again," says Hardcastle, a senior who has been in the Midvale high school club - known as GSA - for more than two years. "We are always having a finger pointed at us for doing something wrong - and it's just the opposite. We're doing something right." By the way, the "we" to which Hardcastle refers is GSA's majority of straight members that includes her.

After five years of controversy and lawsuits over gay-straight clubs at East High School, the Salt Lake School Board settled further legal entanglements in 2000 by allowing students to form extracurricular clubs focused on homosexual issues. But Buttars says the clubs, which exist in 40 Utah high schools, violate state law, and promote a sexuality that most Utahns find "perverted." The schools are in effect sponsoring the clubs to avoid costly lawsuits.

State statute allows a school board to deny access to organizations that encourage criminal or delinquent conduct, promote bigotry or "involve human sexuality." "What do you think they're talking about at their meetings?" Buttars says of the gay-straight clubs. "If you've got a chess club what are you talking about? If you're in a gay-lesbian club, you're talking about sexuality."

            Stan Burnett, director of youth programs at the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender Community Center of Utah says club members and advisers meticulously avoid discussing sexuality to avoid running afoul of the law, much as biology and health teachers carefully navigate Utah's laws on sex education.

"We're careful. We don't want to cross the line," Hardcastle says. Members talk about intolerance, teen alienation, and destructive stereotypes. "I don't think we've ever had [sexual orientation] come up in discussion." But Buttars says: "That's another lie of the gay groups."

Utah American Civil Liberties Union director Dani Eyer would not speculate on the constitutionality of Buttars' bill because he has yet to draft it. But any law attempting to ban discussion of human sexuality might inadvertently outlaw a spectrum of school activities and clubs that deal with heterosexuality.

"Do we investigate all those other classes - family preparation courses, for instance - that deal with aspects of sexuality? How can you have a Bible study club without potentially discussing sexuality?" she asks.

This is the second time in recent months that Buttars has suggested legislating education change. In June, he proposed a bill to mandate public schools include a "divine design" theory that life was created by a deity, not simply evolution.

Gov. Jon Huntsman Jr. said the appropriateness of gay-straight clubs is best decided between parents, students, and their school boards, not by state officials. "I wouldn't want to dictate for parents," Huntsman said, adding he wasn't familiar with Buttars' proposal. "If parents do not like the idea of such clubs they should take it up with their school board."

Two Huntsman children are students at East High School, which offers a gay-straight alliance club. "I've not gone in to talk to the school board about it," Huntsman said.

Hardcastle says members of the gay-straight clubs likely will have plenty to say to their school boards and representatives if Buttars' bill gains momentum. As far as sitting down with the senator himself to explain GSA's importance to teens, straight and gay, she says, "I'd be afraid to talk to him."

Chad Keller has found his voice on the Hyde Park Gay Forum. He’s been commenting on the sins of community leaders.

Posted by Chad Keller Re: Sodomy Friends  For three years, state legislators just didn't get around to repealing it. Salt Lake City Democratic Sen. Scott McCoy plans to draft a bill to remedy that during the 2006 Legislature. I would not say that we are feeding on Jackie [Biskupski] or Scott’s carcass yet. David [Nelson] brings up a valid point. Why has it taken three years to get this law off of the books? I would have hoped, as many I am sure do, that it would have been done the following session.’

He then directed his ire at Mike Picardi chair of the Stonewall Democrats who took umbrage with Chad’s tone. Chad kind of began rambling, “Mike, Mike, Mike....any leader worth his weight can take the bashing....;) Seems that maybe the music you are listening too is missing some key elements, and a key person who at one time was your friend, and someone you could work with.

Did you not spin my comments back on me which started with this group? Why do you discount David [Nelson], his history with our groups? Sure he can be a pain in the butt, we all can, but we also can learn from each other if we all are able to participate without getting this crap of the same music and eating our own....just cause it doesn’t seem like it is something that would benefit any group or any of us, doesn’t mean we should be angry forever.

I forgave Sherri Booth and Darren Hobbs long ago for the crap they say about me. I brushed off the crap you said. Now could you listen and participate with David. It would do you both good! May be it is easier to not listen and work things out, I don’t know....Chad Keller

Chad may have been drunk or on drugs when he continued to rant. Regarding  CENTER CHRISTMAS (HOLIDAY!!) PARTY! Can we have Mark’s [Swanson] Calendar post this...... and I am sure others get this from a million other people. Besides if I showed up I would probably be told I was not welcome there again.....”

“I know you mean well Mike [Picardi], but I got this a million times. How about some postings from the Stonewall Demos on their last meeting, what we can do for the legislative session, what political things you guys are working on.

Seems I get a lot from you about everything else, but never a lot that specifically pertains to what I hope is the growing Utah Stonewall Democrats. This is what I am talking about when I speak of organization.

Mark [Swanson] does a great job, how he does it I don’t know. I tried and wasted money on developing an functional on line community calendar then was slaughtered by the Center and they were exalted for doing it. Bless you Mark, I meant you no harm or ill will in my frustration.

PS will the Center turn the heat on in this room for this event, or will it be like the court meetings held in the cold with a tiny space heater, just need to know what to wear over the Teflon vest. Chad Keller

He then about “Chris Buttars Attacks again! Knowing Buttars, he took a play from our community play book and is drafting it in secret with his Intell. Design legislation, then will spring it on us. ;) Chad Keller.”

Then Jere Keys made the mistake of engaging Chad when Chad is on a trade. Jere Keys responding to comments made about “The Gay Agenda” he addressed Chad, saying, “I feel like you keep making accusations about the Center board having sinister intent and, quite frankly, it make me hostile and combative to everything you have to say.

The fact of the matter is, I have personally tried to reach out and listen to as many community opinions as I can in my past role as editor of Metro, my role as a board member for The Center, and my role as a Pride committee member.

 Listening to opinions, though, and mindlessly following every piece of advice I get are two different things. Your own experience as a community leader should tell you that sometimes you must make decisions which may not be popular or may be ignoring the advice of a few vocal people. But I have never been in a situation where one of those decisions was made without a lot of careful thought, deliberation and (sometimes) tears.

The Center, the staff and the board have made numerous attempts to get feedback from the community--Town Hall meetings, coalition building initiatives, private relationships, one-on-one meetings with various organizational representatives, etc. Maybe we're not perfect about it, maybe we don't spend as much time as we could researching public opinion, but a very sincere effort is made. We are only human, and volunteers with too much on our collective plates.

For example, the question of whether or not to charge admission to Pride was discussed for MONTHS. We sought public opinion in an open town hall meeting, we debated it internally at great length, and we looked at dozens of other options to keep Pride from running in the red yet again. In the end, we made a decision and we accepted the consequences of a few people being very upset.

Yes, yes, I often get poked at for my "short history" with Salt Lake gay politics. This might come as a shocker, but I'm not exactly unfamiliar with any of what has gone before. The long-standing feuds, hurt feelings, grudges and scandals of the past have been retold to me so many times that I "feel" as though I lived through them.

In a way I did, they are not so very different from the experiences I had in the Las Vegas gay community over the past 10 years. But I won't be dismissed as young, naive, or inexperienced. I have more hands-on gay activism experience under my belt than 90% of the gay community has at the age of 50.

As such, my opinions and ideas are shaped by experience, too. I also think that my youth and relative newness to Utah gives me the advantage of being able to present fresh ideas and perspective on some of the issues that have plagued the community for too long.         

I really feel you have unfairly saddled the current crop of organizational leadership with grudges that don't belong to them. Very few of the current staff or boards of either Equality Utah or The Center were even around during the things which seem to have angered you so. In fact, I don't think any of our current board members were involved in the decision to put control of Pride in The Center's hands. We're all simply trying to do the best we can with the situation.

I'm also bothered by your accusations that I wrote only "fluff pieces" about The Center during my time as editor at Metro. I'll have you know that there were a few stories I printed that made my fellow board members and the staff very uncomfortable. If I also tried to promote the positive when I could, well, maybe a fundamental difference between you and I is that I prefer to focus on the good, the positive and draw attention to what is actually working, while you seem to prefer drawing attention to the negative or the "problems" as you see them.      You seem to be acutely interested in the conditions under which I was made the coordinator for Pride. Simply put, it was an internal promotion. My experience with last year's event (plus 8 years’ experience planning Pride events in Vegas and Reno) put me in the position of being among the most qualified *returning* committee members.

Additionally, I was willing to work for free through February, agreeing to a relatively small stipend only during our busiest few months (which is why January is also my last month on the board).

FYI, my contract will account for less than 1% of the total budget, not that it's really anyone else's business. I know, you probably think that we should be revealing every penny spent on staff, but I think that the individual details of salary and benefits are and should be private and protected. Would you demand to know the salaries and hiring details of, say, everyone who works in the LDS Church offices? If so, do you honestly think you'd get those details?

You also said in a previous post that we had turned away six people who were interested in helping with Pride. That's (excuse my French) bullshit. I have not turned away a single person from getting involved, even people I'm not personally fond of. A few people have approached me online or in person and I've told them how they can get involved (i.e. set up a meeting time with me, come to a planning meeting), only to never hear from them again.

There is a very short list of people who I could not and would not personally work with, but if I could find a way to let these people be involved that would require minimal personal interaction, I would.

I am not in the habit of turning away good advice, offers of help, or well-intentioned inquiries. I do, however, have an unusual allergy to people who prefer to criticize without actually contributing anything at the moment.

Yes, yes, I know you have been very involved for years, but I have this theory that former activists make the bitterest of barstool critics. Jere 

p.s. I hope this post isn't a violation of the forum rules, I tried to answer some questions that have been brought up and stick (as much as I could) to "I feel" statements.

Then Jere addressed criticism of the Leadership Task Force as pale imitation of the old Gay and Lesbian Community Council of Utah. “The Utah GLBT Leadership Task Force is open to anyone. We already have members who are not officially affiliated with any particular group. Right or wrong, my instructions about the yahoo group remain the same, memberships are approved only after someone has made a commitment to the work of the Task Force by attending meetings. The yahoo group is meant to be a tool of the Task Force, not the task force itself. If this continues to be an issue, I may recommend deleting the whole darned thing and coming up with another option for easy e-mail list management.

 

17 December 2005 Saturday

The next day Chad Keller started up again about the Task Force asking, “So who is directly responsible for this little tea party?”

            Mike Picardi posted in response what the Utah Stonewall Democrats were doing said, “Letters already sent to Andrew Sullivan, Andrew Tobias, The Advocate and the National Office of the Stonewall Democrats,” regarding Butters attack on Gay student clubs again.

Chad Keller tried to explain his frustration by writing, directed at Jere Keys, “Please be clear that I do not have a problem with Equality Utah. What I have a problem with is a power house organization with a specific mission, and a flawed community center seeking more power being the leaders of an organization to unify the community.

In fairness to every organization existing now and in the future, we need a level playing field where all can feel that their projects will not be trampled in the quest for cash and power. So to the Caviar Club Sect, please put you voodoo dolls made of $1000.00 bills of me away, (they don’t work anyway) and stop the how dare you.

A couple of you are verging on me needling to turn it over to the police, and we all don’t want that. Beside, making those threats publicly makes it all the more fun....!

Now Jere: Perhaps it is my love of my daily read of the New York Times, Washington Post, and Los Angeles Times, But your pieces on the Center painted an overly rosy picture. Our community center has problems, which we all realize now just how many it does, for you to just scratch the surface, did you no justice as a writer, did your employers the Metro, and now of course the center a disservice.

Who, what when, where, and why are your first priorities. You were at the time the editor, the writer and on the board. While it is gets one by it is not a good reporting of the facts in my opinion. Did you go on a fact and opinion seeking mission? NO, just reported what was in the minutes and slapped in a quote or two, (all quotes that were in favor of the Center I might add......hmmm smells like propaganda to me!)

Regarding the age comment: I never brought age into the conversation. But the manner in which you flippantly dismissed all or the work of your elders leaves me to realize that you have A LOT to learn. You should apologize to everyone older that you who has been making an effort, and leading since you were suckling at the tit of Lady Stonewall.

This is a trait in our youth that is tiresome. It makes it clear to me that you have all the answers in this one statement. I would add that I have been receiving a not so flattering picture being painted by you from your other cities.

Unlike what you and your "Center Family" have done to me I have not allowed this to cloud my judgment of you. I have not doubted that you have many great ideas. Let’s not reinvent the wagon wheel or try to place a race car wheel on the old Chevy that is our community.

Much has been tried, and many are trying, but in my eyes I see a person, and a board who has too much on their plate because they have run off those who often gave so tirelessly and would add without compensation.

Regarding your Stipend. Next to the last year’s ad budget, WHICH WAS OUTRAGEOUS. Your salary is our business. We have a right to know exactly what you are and how you are compensated. Don’t like people asking--tuff.

The Center is a nonprofit as such, we have a right to ask, and they under the law have to disclose it. We also have a right to protest it. Regarding your statement on LDS Church executives. Again apples to potatoes. They are a privately owned corporation. They only have to disclose the salaries of the Quorum who sit on their shareholder boards. And BTW....runs around 80,000 per year plus a condo and expenses.         

I love fresh ideas and if that was the only thing we needed I would be the first to ask your take on it. Sad to say, it appears that who you, pride, and the center are asking for help and input from are from a very small select list. Perhaps if I had large amounts of cash to donate then all of my offers and suggestions would have been heard and answered. Perhaps your Board President and Vice President would have responded to my letter.

So if you’re feeling hostile, that’s good, it means I finally have someone’s attention. If you are uneasy and hostile, I am positive we are making progress to get this cloistered board to swing open the gates and finally bevy the skeletons!

In my opinion being a true leader is just not getting with a couple close friends or a self-appointed board to decide what best for large masses. It takes a lot of listening in a lot of ways.

My experience as a community leader was to take the heat or the love, listen to everything, get people involved, and make the decision that is right for the whole audience, not just my time, or my committee’s time. If that meant enrolling people then that are what had to be done.

I think we are sadly throwing money into the whirl pool of a sinking ship. Better yet our current leadership efforts resemble that of Bush Brownie & FEMA during Katrina....just my opinion.

 Also, Never once did I pull the whiny "eat our leadership" card. Can’t take it …don’t lead community specific things.

The meetings for input I feel are failed attempts at best. I showed up to three with three presentations for three different things that would be an ongoing source of revenue and save all the organizations money but was told I was not welcome. So it I am one, are there others.

Plus the logistics of the time frames in which notice was posted was really lacking for any active member of our community. The “Charge for Pride” was discussed for months, By a very small microcosm of our community. Personally, the need to charge for Pride shows me that those running the show are lazy or inept in their fundraising skills.

Everything you need for Pride can be scheduled through negotiation, fundraising, open bid processes, a tight budget, and a staff skilled in negotiating the shark filled waters of the Salt Lake community.

It is not the love child of the Days of 47 and Utah Arts Festival. It must be reined in and brought into focus for what it is supposed to be.

Then to top it off, charging for the event was set up to handle the problems it intentionally created. Not to mention the brilliant Idea to have in unsecured metal tower standing in the wind!

As for the running in the red, well we strayed from what Pride is to be. It got too large and too grand too fast, and then over a course of years we unfortunately had leaders who made really bad decision, mishandled money, inventory, and funds to make the sale (illegal sale) happen.

I will be the first person to stand up and say, "Give Jere a chance to prove himself." A similar courtesy that seems to never be extended by the groups you appear to represent.

I am concerned that we continue to recycle your same group of people, unfortunately getting the same results. Always in the red....

My greatest concern is that we did not post the positions to the community, then to find out that the only qualifications needed to do this were that you were on the committee the previous year.

As with this leadership task force my research indicates that this is very one sided, few know and are willing to participate as currently presented, and if more along the lines of another power grab.

The Center professes to be a community center. So I hope it would act like one. That would mean public comment in a variety of forms, and with notice and times that can suit the majority of the community. This would also mean proper notice to the community through several channels so that everyone will have time to participate if they chose to regarding any issue, including every issue surrounding Pride.

 Its brands as tainted as it may be repaired, but it will require your people to work with my people. I know you don’t like that you are saddled with what problems past boards and directors other have created for you to deal with, but it’s their legacy to you, to clean up.

Regarding your reaching out, who are you reaching too? As stated I have made offers to various people on the board of the center past and present, made calls, and tried in a positive manner, but it has fallen on deaf ears. From what I can gather from documentation being forwarded to me, that you Jere are having some rotten things to say about me, and we have were briefly introduced when you first moved here.

There is much to be learned from history Jere, from those who have gone before you, and those still working in the community. Your attitude spits on those of us who have been trying and seems to be condescending that we no absolutely nothing in your groups eyes

Obviously, you must not be too aware who I am and are unaware of what has been attempted and is still trying to be pulled together. The offer will soon expire, however.

Straight people in Utah County are more welcoming, and willing to learn, and work together on a gay project then perhaps our current Center leadership. So with that resignation from your board position Jere, are we to assume that it will be posted, and the David Nelson or myself would be considered, or in your youthful experience do people like he and I have nothing more to offer. CK

PS I can’t help commenting on what I see as your prissy closing paragraph. Seems that you might have an allergy to mixing with common folk. Much in our community has been accomplished over a glass of beer. Our first community center was in a bar! Perhaps it would do you good to see how the rest lives in our community before making such ill formed observations.

I miss my barstool, cause the best insight into our community's great divide can be seen from there by who is willing and who is not to sit down and talk! Obviously, the Center doesn’t want my insight or the insight of those not on a list of accepted people, places, or organizations.”

Chad’s comment about the “Caviar Club” really struck a nerve with many who are depended on big donors like Bruce Bastian, Jane Marquart, and Michelle Turpin’s as well as others.

 

18 December 2005 Sunday

The Salt Lake Tribune carried a follow up story on Paul Mero trying to get North Salt Lake to adopted it’s narrow concept of family published in the Davis Clipper.

“Marriage resolution is rejected Salt Lake Tribune The North Salt Lake City Council declined to adopt a proposal by the Sutherland Institute last month affirming the sanctity of marriage because it excluded adoptive families, single parents and same-sex couples. The institute's resolution read, in part: "We envision a local culture that upholds the marriage of woman to a man, and a man to a woman, as ordained of God. This culture affirms marriage as the best path to health security, fulfillment and joy."

Members of the City Council, however, believed the resolution did not reflect the reality of the city's makeup and wanted a version that would include all residents.

Paul T. Mero, president of the Sutherland Institute, has sent similar resolutions to every city and county council in the state as a vision statement. -

Then the Tribune editorial board came out against Chris Butter’s latest hateful antics.

“Gay-Straight Clubs: Legislature should reject Buttars' ill-conceived bill Salt Lake Tribune Editorial- It is disappointing that Sen. Chris Buttars wants to drag Utah high school students, educators, his fellow legislators, and the public back into a crusted-over quagmire from which many believed, or at least hoped, we had been safely extricated.

Buttars, a West Jordan Republican, is vowing to prevail in a battle he unreasonably wants to resume against gay-straight clubs in Utah public schools. That conflict was fought a decade ago and ended when the weary combatants wisely agreed to a truce. School policies have been adjusted to fit court rulings barring discrimination and districts have found ways to involve parents in decisions to permit and supervise gay-straight clubs.

Buttars' attempt to outlaw the clubs will only open old wounds inflicted by bigotry and bound up in recent years by more tolerant and compassionate attitudes, not to mention justified threats of court action.

The divisive battle over clubs formed by gay and straight high school students was first waged 10 years ago at East High School, with the State Office of Education and the Utah Attorney General's Office finally concluding that gay and lesbian students could, under federal law, use public-school campuses for their meetings.

The fight spilled over to the Legislature in 1996 and later to state and federal courts. Lawsuits over a district policy banning all noncurricular clubs were eventually dropped when the Salt Lake School District changed its policy to allow the gay-straight clubs. Since then, other school districts have approved such clubs for students whose parents agree to allow their participation.

The original battle was ugly, with some lawmakers claiming teachers were using obscene demonstrations to teach students about homosexuality, a claim that was immediately refuted. Buttars seems bent on promulgating similar homophobic nonsense, refusing to believe that club members do not spend all their time at meetings discussing sex and promoting "perverted" lifestyles. He has dubbed "liars" those who try to explain that the clubs promote tolerance and debunk stereotypes.

That kind of closed-minded - and dirty-minded - attitude contrasts sharply with Gov. Jon Huntsman Jr.'s reasoned response that the issue is best decided among parents, students and local school boards. Fear and ignorance are poor justifications for legislation. Buttars' more sensible colleagues should tell him so.

            Mike Picardi posted in the Hyde Park Forum his frustration with Chad Keller’s remarks; “JESUS!!!!! Chad...can you ever say anything positive!!!! How about writing a letter about Buttars with all the venom you show to your own so-called community.

            There were many letters to the editor published in the Tribune slamming Butter. Francisca Blanc of Salt Lake City wrote, “Buttars is immoral- Freedom of speech, expression and association are all-important rights to every citizen of this country and to all people who decided to make this country their home.

Sen. Chris Buttars, R-West Jordan, cannot choose which individuals or groups can exercise their right, because he is "concerned about gay clubs" and because he thinks "it's just wrong." It's immoral to exclude people based on that belief.

Sen. Buttars is known as an advocate for parental rights. He should understand then that he is overriding other parents' rights to raise their children based on their beliefs. It's immoral to think you are a better parent than somebody else who gave permission to his or her child to join a gay-straight alliance club.

It's immoral to use his senatorial position to push his personal beliefs on others and not to take into consideration the constitutionality of his actions.

Jerold Burbank of Salt Lake City wrote “Love one another-I am tired of Sen. Chris Butters, R-West Jordan, and Gayle Ruzicka of the Eagle Forum. They cannot continue to do what they are trying to do with regard to the proposal of banning gay/straight clubs in schools ("Gay-straight clubs under fire," Tribune, Dec. 16). Don't they have a soul or a heart? When will they realize that there are many different types of people?

The gay community is getting tired of their ongoing efforts to wipe out any reference to our lifestyle. They may not like it, but we are not going anywhere. So I suggest that they learn to accept that there are gay people in their state, city, neighborhood, and schools (or tolerate it, for goodness' sake). As the Good Book says, "Love one another as I have loved you."

            Jere Keys finally sent off a barrage to Chad Keller’s earlier post. “Wow, the assumptions you continue to make simply boggle the mind. Caviar and $1000 bills? While it's true that some of people involved in EU [Equality Utah] and The Center are well off financially, the very notion of caviar and thousand dollar bills would make many of us green with jealousy.

I can't afford $100-a-plate dinners any more than I can afford to buy a new car, which is why I've been riding the bus whenever I can't borrow my father's beaten-up old truck.

Ambiguous phrases are great, aren't they? "Overly rosy" - well, that amounts to one man's opinions of where the line is drawn. If I ever thought there was a possible conflict of interest, either I turned the story over to an impartial writer, or (if time was of the essence) vetted it heavily through Michael [Aaron].

 "Our community center has problems, which we all realize now just how many it does" Oh, and what would those be, exactly? No more vague comments about "power grabs" or "secretive board," I want specific examples from the past year. What are those problems and what would you do to solve them?

 Your big complaint seems to be not so much that we aren't listening to people, but that we aren't listening to YOU. I said before and I'll say it again, we make a genuine and sincere effort to listen to as many people as is humanly possible, reflect on all opinions and ideas, and make decisions that we feel are for the best.

Did it ever occur to you that the reason people didn't jump all over your ideas was because in the final analysis, no one thought the ideas themselves were all that good? It might have nothing to do with people's personal feelings about you, but rather a thought-out rejection of your proposals.

I've reviewed the Utah Revised Statues (Title 16, Corporations, Chapter 6a. Utah Revised Nonprofit Corporation Act, Part 16. Records, Information, and Reports) and find no law stating that financial records must be turned over to you.

The Center was not established as a membership organization (weren't you involved in the initial establishment of The Center?), so as far as I can tell, the demand to see financial records can only be invoked by directors, members (which we don't have according to our bylaws), or the courts.

Despite that fact, Valerie and the current BOD have been very forthcoming with requests for information about our finances, but the salary question tends to be lumped into one line item to protect the privacy of our individual employees.

 Last year's advertising budget for Pride was not outrageous. Aside from the billboards and bus boards, we spent very little on advertising (most of it was donated in exchange for sponsorship status).

The outdoor advertising was paid for entirely by private donors who approached US about funding that project. If that money had been donated without strings attached, I think it could and would have been put to a different purpose. What would you have had us do, reject an offer to pay for some advertising we couldn't afford on our own?

Oh, the comment about the ladder--nice. I suppose you've never made a mistake. Look, I've taken full responsibility for many of the mistakes that were made last year and have been making an effort to correct them for next year. I've never been too proud to admit my mistakes.

You know, when I first spoke with Evelyn [Garrington] about joining the Board in November of 2004, one of the topics we discussed was how to make the activities and the decisions of the board more transparent. In the year I've been involved, we've tried dozens of ways to overcome this perception that we're "cloistered" or "secretive."

But here's the bottom line - if you really want to know what goes on, come to one of our Board meetings (fourth Monday of every month, 6pm - note: December's meeting was rescheduled because of the holiday, we'll meet again in January)!

They're all open to the public with the rare and unusual exception of those times when we have to discuss sensitive personnel information (which is allowed by both our bylaws and Utah law). Otherwise, there's nothing we can do that isn't open to public witness, debate, and comment. I don't know how we could be less "cloistered" or "secretive" at this point.

We do our best to post notice of all our activities as early as possible. Save the date notices for our town hall meetings and other major community-input style events are often emailed and posted at least a month in advance. How much more time does a person need?

Yes, sometimes there are events or meetings which only get announced a few days before, but we're only human and cannot control every circumstance about when and how information becomes available.

For the record, I have great respect for "my elders," especially when they treat me with mutual respect. I have had a few much cherished, lengthy conversations with Ben Williams about the history of this community.

I deeply respect and count as friends individuals such as Luci Malin, Sherry Booth, Michael Aaron, and Marlin Criddle. I even admire (but too frequently disagree with) a few folks like David Nelson.

Finally, wow did you ever misinterpret my "prissy" final paragraph. I spent many years sitting in bars tossing them back with people while listening to them tell me why everything I did was wrong. That I choose not to spend my time nor money in bars since moving to Utah is a matter of personal comfort and respect for my parents (who, as I mentioned before, often loan me the use of their vehicles--a favor I'd hate to repay by drinking before driving).

On the occasions when I have enjoyed a frosty glass at Try-Angles, or whichever watering hole my friends and I decide to visit, I'm more than happy to hear and reflect on the opinions of my fellow patrons--sometimes with a focus and intensity that bores my friends who are more interested in having a good time than solving all the problems of the community over a pint.

But I've also learned that there's no pleasing some people, which is why I'm wondering why I'm even going to hit the send button on this e-mail. What's that saying... "the definition of insanity is doing something over and over again expecting different results."

 

19 December 2005 Monday

The People With AIDS Coalition held their Holiday Party tonight.

            David Nelson jumped into the fray between Chad Keller and Jere Keys by writing, “Jere Keys" wrote: “I've taken full responsibility for many of the [Pride] mistakes that were made last year and have been making an effort to correct them for next year. I've never been too proud to admit my  mistakes.”

 I look forward, then, to learn that the written Pride policies and rules won't include the unconstitutional, illegal, and misguided ban of legally concealed firearms. The resolution last year of this matter happened apparently too late to be reflected in the written policies and rules. Please tell me when this correction is finalized.”

Jere Keys responded to David saying, “David, You know that you and I disagree strongly on the issue of gun control and interpretation of the second amendment. That said, would you be satisfied if the wording were changed to say that ILLEGAL weapons of any kind are not permitted? It will also be several months before we finalize the policies and rules. Our insurance carrier has a great deal of impact on the official language of this document.”

Chad Keller must have still been fuming as he wrote to Jere Keys, “final response-  Getting a little bitchy there aren’t we there young one. First Jere, you need to stop referring to Equality Utah, They aren’t part of the discussion. I HAVE NO PROBLEM WITH THEM! The opening statement was directed to your little power broker cronies that seem to want to bankroll and control everything, in their effort to dispose of what parts of the community and people(s) that they don’t like.

Jere, If the Center was experiencing financial problems, or any problem it would have been a real article had you asked some questions as to the details and nature of the problem, what the plan was to get the community involved to yet again, save the Center.

However you continued to print recaps of meetings then never went back to address the issues in follow up stories. Exactly where did you get training as an editor? Or were you just a proof reader with a title at Metro and other publications. You fed us propaganda. You should NEVER as editor assigned yourself to anything pertaining to the Center as you were on the board at that time. THIS IS A BRIEF LESSON IN ETHICS YOUNG ONE!!! TAKE HEED! I question if you are an true editor. Education regarding this?

What our community needs, and really demands if full detailed disclosure, and transparency. THE CENTER IN MY EYES DOES NOT HAVE THE CAPABILITY TO DO EITHER FOR ITS OWN SURVIVAL. IT NEEDS A SERIOUS CHANGE IN STRUCTURE AND ACCOUNTABLITLITY.

 Let alone a board where every seat MUST raise independently a set minimum of $30,000....I would start with creating trustees, and then a new board.

Your findings regarding your salaries are incorrect, I got my information direct from the Attorney General’s office about the ability to publicly ask. AFTER ALL, YOUR COMMUNITY IS YOUR SHAREHOLDER, and many of your shareholders are concerned.

Do not force me to prove a point and us waste money with lawyers. Cause I am not above getting one to make some things happen and prove some points.

 Seems to me and many, that there are again financial problems at the Center, or a lack of people wanting to do the work (Yes in my eyes that would mean taking a Barista Shift) to have the best tool to winning people in our favor and building long last partnerships.

The Coffee shop was a PR tool and could have been used as a write off. Pride Day has continued to lose Money, but oh no Jere, it would be a sin for you to discuss it with anyone outside of the Caviar Club.

We need to be having open meetings to recruit and enroll the community in creating a great community center. GOD forbid if one of us came to you with ways to bank roll it that was not part of your select group of people who approved to comment or help!

As for the power grab....HMMM community calendars in the process of being launched, the Center rushed right in derailing something truly useful, A Business Guild that they through a hissy fit over, the purchase of Pride day complete with the removal of real honest public comment, a Task Force that has limited membership, and numerous other items that seem to be suggested in the community then the Center swooping in and grabbing it, then screwing it up so no one can use the projects or tools available to our community.

Seems others were working on a Gay Ski weekend, now they dumped it in frustration, because the center couldn’t enroll the community in creating one collectively. Or was as like always the Center saw the bucks these guys would bring in and said, will show them, and took it.

I don’t think the best public relations effort could help the Center at this point, which I wonder why it does not have a committee for this. Maybe you like the half effort, I don’t know and am tired of trying to figure it out.

Couple all this with, "when it is convenient to tell the community we will," and "we account to no one," with paying everybody and their dog, from a limited selection of people who are our friends because we don’t want to post any position for fear of the real problems that are being so talentedly hid, and I am more than F*cking amazed that we even have a Center.

You scream for people to volunteer, but why should any of us, we seem to be paying what the Board of the Center are the most talented and brightest of our community.

While I have always been one to give people a chance I fear this time, I may need to take the offer from several in Las Vegas and Reno to provide to us insight into your, what I feel is now a very questionable background.

Jere, I am no longer interested in generously just solving problems by me providing to you any idea or solution. (it would seem though you have all the answers anyway by your attitudes expressed in this and other email in my possession.) I have done that with the center and this community enough, then as you and members of the caviar club so often do to me and others, slaughter us as quick as possible, take the solution, then screw us over.

Want help, send a letter from your board president, I will gladly participate on any committee, and in a manner.

You never answered the Question, just who will fill the empty board seat. Post it separately please. We are all dying to know! Will it be a community choice, a crony choice, or a member of the Caviar Club

In my eyes we do not have a community center, we have the bricks and mortar, and possibilities, but it lacks the community to make it one. Perhaps you should consider just dropping Community Center and come up with something that more accurately represents what it is. Perhaps Lesbian Group House, or GLBT SERVICE CENTER, and Banquet hall.

Change the name to something that reflects the limited perspective and ability to serve the community, and many will rejoice. AND when you do that speak only from a CENTER-WHATEVER-IT- IS Prospective, not the community as a whole.

As for ideas, My record stands for itself. And it is full of profit making, fun ideas. ALL OF WHICH HAVE BENEFITED NUMEROUS Organizations GAY and STRAIGHT people and organization. Except in the STRAIGHT WORLD I deal with fewer egos, and genuine requests for assistance and help. Which neither are present here.

I am sought out by organizations around Utah, around Salt Lake and around the Nation. Ask Michael [Aaron] who had the idea for a certain paper and some of the things surrounding it. The help I am asked to provided is put to use, and communities to benefit those who I have bestowed my time. AND YOU?

I have not made any suggestions recently to which you have a right to be so critical. Nor would any in the past warrant this. Nothing has been offered from me for quite a while, because of things just like this.

So to that I will politely tell you, that you are out of line, and if you want an idea please come ask. Again, I would give you every opportunity. Pretty sure you wouldn’t at this point. I could be wrong.

Seems that you left quite a mess in Las Vegas from what I am able to see in the positive and negative feedback I am getting from your past communities. So don’t ask me to go off your past record, I’m sure we will find many more "ladders". AS for the Ladder, obviously you are not thinking ideas and suggestions through, or it would have been secured and in not so public of area or attached to something else. Like the roof of a building. THE LADDER IS A SIMPLE  LESSON IN COMMON SENSE!

So....that said, do you have enough common sense to put Pride together? Seems we had no other qualifications but to be a returning committee member. Hope that you have other qualifications to make it all come together.

Youth isn’t the only answer, true experience is. Sad that all the people willing to help seem to be being run off one by one. Seems that we keep running in the red, and maybe it is because we are paying people, many people, and far too much money, and not listening to our community, and doing half assed fundraising.

Yes I have made mistakes, but never any that jeopardized people’s lives, or their health. I have never jeopardized the health of any organization which I have served. I am cautious to make sure that when I have participated that I deal honestly and fairly with everyone, even though they are less than that to me, keep an eye on the cash, and most of all take lots of vitamin B100 to keep a positive attitude as I listen and steer through the massed input.

BTW, THE VICTIM OF YOUR LADDER: how is she doing, seems you missed reporting that in the Pride Day review when you were at Metro!

Lastly and this is all I think we should say on this issue. Jere, obviously by the list of people you respect, and a ton you can’t stand. I can see where the disrespect to me comes from.

There is a blaring Alpha Lesbian on your list that I and many have tried to be workable with but she has made it her life’s mission to do me, and many, in. She is in my opinion where all of the problems with Pride and the Center originate, (she and her little buddy M) Wanna read the emails, schedule coffee and I’ll bring them, (and it’s not Luci Malin, love her!)

I have been and could be again the Center's greatest friend, supporter, and cheerleader, I was once and could be won back. There are problems, we all know it. Now let’s stop the who is right and who is wrong bantering and get to business in getting the community enrolled.

 But for now, I think I will take the advice of many, (200 emails this morning alone,) telling me what a piece of crap I am and just take my talent and energy elsewhere.

It is sad that as what I feel is a leader in training, you seem to have problems with a lot of people and cannot set them aside to work directly with them and possibly learn something from them. I was your greatest supporter when you arrived, because of what I had hoped you would be able to do for Metro, and the possibilities for people to help you learn, as well as us learn from you. But that would take you having direct contact with people that repulse and disgust you.

BTW---WHEN WERE YOU PLANNING TO TELL THE COMMUNITY THAT THE CITY IS FORCING PRIDE TO CHANGE THE DAY? WOULD BE NICE TO KNOW SINCE WE ALL HAVE TO PLAN OUR EVENTS??? OH THATS RIGHT THE ONLY COMMUNITY THAT EXISTS IS THE ONE IN YOUR LITTLE NARROW WORLD. AND I WOULDN’T STICK TO THE PLAN TO NOT WRISTBAND...We Don’t want underage drinking, and risk future opportunities to have a beer permit  CK.”

I am not sure what Chad was referring to when he mentioned the Ladder. I never asked. Evidently it was an organization perhaps a newspaper Jere was involved with in Nevada before moving to Utah.

The Chad Keller responded to Mike Picardi. Chad was never one to let a slight go unanswered. “Since you didn’t catch the sarcasm of the moment and upon further reflection.....In your book I guess I don’t and thank you for aptly slapping it all into prospective for me Mike.

For the record, I have said much positive and done much positive. Guess you and the others have been too busy to notice.”

Jere Keys wanting to get his last licks in wrote to Chad, “final response- Well, if that's your final response, let me just add (for the benefit of other people reading this) that many of the things Chad presents as facts or commonly held views are, at best, biased or inaccurate and, at worst, outright propaganda in its own form.

I stand by my record in Las Vegas and Reno, am proud of the work I have accomplished, and I can find ten grateful people for every malcontent that Chad may be able to dig up out of my past. And really, is this forum best served by debating me as a person? I have a thick skin and I can take it, but if that is the desire of this group, well, it's a sad day for the state of debate in this community.”

I finally got involved because the nastiness was turning off others from posting on the group site. I wrote, “Peace On Earth Goodwill Towards Men It’s my opinion that people should bury the hatchet and not in each other’s back either. Attacking people is not cool. Attacking ideas, concepts, operational procedures, all are fair game.”

“Since this is a time where we are supposed to be kinder to each other how about a cease fire on the personal attacks. They often reflect more on the character of the sender then on the recipient. Disagreement over any issue should be directed at the issue and not a person. There is no one in the community who is actively trying to serve this community, which deserves to be disparaged by anyone.”

“There were once two Lesbians wanting to control the Utah Stonewall Center and steer it away from the mandate set by the GLCCU. When I confronted them and called the community together to respond to my allegations, they accused me of having made threatening phone calls to them and that they were afraid of me. It was an absolute lie, as I didn't even know their phone numbers, and anyone who truly knew me and my dedication to community building knew it was a lie.”

“But to the uninformed, I was being asked if their statements were true. I couldn't even respond. I couldn't even dignify the accusation with a denial. But the mere accusation was wounding to my soul.”

“My integrity prevailed but it was a bitter blow to my desire to serve in any leadership capacity knowing that there are those out there who are mean and low and will stoop to telling lies.”       

“Of course they are gone now and I am still around. Because I have a love for the Gay community of Utah and do not have a need for fleeting power playing, I plug along and do my Ben Williams thing.”

“My advice to anyone in leadership position is, and always has been, have complete integrity, don't lie, renege, put others down, keep your word, and have everything above board. Then you can sleep easy and not care what others think.”

“My only complaint with the center is that past directors geared so much of the activities there towards obtaining grants for youth programs at the expense of other populations. Everything was so geared to the youth that everyone else seemed left out. This policy bit the center in the butt big time when its budget was tied to youth grants from the state's anti-smoking program and they then approved a slogan that was “in your face Utah.”

“The powers that be pulled its money, the center was left in crisis, and the E.D. got out of town. The youth programs are valuable, but why more so then programs for the aging populations.”

“If I don't support the center's activities perhaps it’s because I don't feel the center tries very hard to reach out to older Gay males. When was the last time a community dance was held by the center? I Could be wrong but that’s how I feel.”

 

20 December 2005 Tuesday

I was surprised when I read that the Deseret News even wrote that Butters needed to call off his crusade against Gay students.

Gay-straight clubs issue is already settled By Marjorie Cortez Deseret Morning News Marjorie Cortez editorial writer.

 Any discussion about reconsidering the appropriateness of gay- straight student alliances in Utah public schools is like picking a scab. Don't go there. Please. I say this as an observer of the previous GSA debates. They were painful and divisive discussions that literally divided communities. It's not something we should revisit. Here's why.

Most people's feelings about gays, lesbians, transgendered people, and issues are deeply entrenched. Their feelings are colored by their personal experiences, religious beliefs, and their study of issues. It's like debating abortion or the death penalty. There are few fence-sitters.

When I covered this issue in the Salt Lake City School District in the 1990s, the debate quickly degenerated from its initial point — whether students at East High School could form a gay-straight alliance — to a referendum on homosexuality.

People who opposed the club were labeled as bigots and gay-bashers. People who supported the club were demonized for attempting to "recruit" straight people into the gay agenda.

The school board debate became a national platform for gay rights organizations as well as arch-conservative groups —each plying their respective agendas.

This was a local debate, but Congress basically decided the issue in 1984 when it passed the federal Equal Access Act. It's intent was to halt discrimination against religious clubs. In essence, the Equal Access Act spells out that curriculum clubs are run by schools.

"But if kids want to get together and meet on other topics, if you open your door to any of those clubs, you open your door to all clubs," explains Martin Bates, assistant to the superintendent on legal issues and policy in Granite School District, in a recent Deseret Morning News report.

The proper venue for this fight, if it indeed needs to be fought, would be Congress, but no one seems anxious to move on the point. There's always the courts, you might say, but the courts have already answered this issue.

There's little point in spending more taxpayer resources to address an issue that the courts have already ruled upon. The real question is, why do we want to open an old wound?

This issue rightly belongs in the hands of parents and local school boards. If a school board permits a gay-straight alliance, it's up to individual families to decide whether their children can participate. If gay-straight alliances, as school principals represent, are doing service work and helping students to feel less isolated during their high school years, what's the harm of that?

Frankly, I'm more concerned about the prevalence of suicide among young gays and lesbians and that "gay" and "lesbian" are used as pejorative terms in our junior highs and high schools. Seemingly, there's a real need for support groups and greater compassion for our fellow travelers.

 As much as I'd like to slam the brakes on this discussion before it goes any further, the reality is gay-straight alliances will be debated again and with great intensity. I'm not afraid of the debate. My fear is dividing communities — yet again — over an issue that is settled law.

Somehow we have to reach a place in the discourse where the debate doesn't devolve into name-calling and cheap shots. Because when it's over, no one is going to remember the high-minded conversations. They'll remember, as they do from the East High debate nearly a decade ago, when it turned ugly.           

Jere Keys responded to my post, “Ben, Thanks for this valid and appreciated observation regarding The Center and aging communities. Would you mind if I invited board member Polly Stewart to get in touch with you? She has recently been tasked with coming up with some way to better serve the aging communities, both men and women, and I'm sure she'd welcome your comments and thoughts on developing programs for Pride and The Center.”

“Although it's probably not the perfect solution, our monthly bingo night was conceived as a program that could appeal to adult and aging members of our community.”

“Many aspects of our upcoming Winterfest are also meant to cater to our community elders. I honestly don't know when the last time a dance was held at The Center, but it may certainly be time to bring them back.

I was wary of anything coming out of the Center but I wrote Jere Keys back, “Jere I am happy to meet with Polly, however if a Gay man was in charge of creating services for Lesbians that would raise a lot of eyebrows. Lesbians are well represented at the center and it would be nice if Gay men had the same voice.           

Dave Turner, Marlin Criddle's partner, is an excellent source for aging concerns since he works for the state in Aging Services. But instead of having the center create organizations they think men want how about polling the men's community for what services they need and could support.

Men who have great support systems probably don't need more services but rather the single aging population are the ones looking for group activities. It’s been my impression, right or wrong, that in the past there has been a definite bias against Gay men, even in some of the center's announcements it’s been suggested that Gay men couldn't be trusted with the youth. I found that very offensive.

The youth have much to learn from senior Gays and separating them from us, I feel, is a big mistake and sends out the wrong message. We have enough of the Chicken and Troll stereotypes without center leadership buying in to it.

In the early 1990's members of GLCCU resigned in protest because fundraisers were held at bars where the youth group could not participate. It appears that it’s almost the opposite today.

Gay men's health, sexual and emotional issues are different from women as the center knows, by their promoting women only health fairs when I have never seen a Gay man's health fair ever promoted, sorry it just appears bias.

I have no problem with addressing women health issues but it’s easy to see why men feel slighted. Gay men have other health issues beside AIDS. A monthly Gay men's health and social forum where men could get information and interact with others would be helpful.

Aging is the worst crisis in Gay men's lives. The youth live in mortal fear of it. It would be nice if the center could address this in some way. Bingo just doesn't cut it even if it is fun! If Bingo is the best the center can do for aging Gay men I will stay home thank you very much.”

Chad Keller latched on to my hesitancy to meet with a Center dominated by female and youth issues and wrote, “Recently going over several old articles, I found a statement by a female pride chair, hijacked from Hillary Clinton's set of famous quotes,....it takes a village. I laughed as the person saying this in the press release, in my opinion, did more to alienate the village than to embrace it. It left me again wondering a lot about what is the new community mentality.

While I’m sure in this group, Mr. Nelson will do a lot to hold people to their political word, it would be my hope that I might remind us that while we are a very large community, it is manageable; if people are willing to set aside the 'personal greed/glory' factor and enroll in the “for the betterment of the masses” philosophy.

In the 1980’s and 1990's our elected, appointed, and paid leaders gathered at least once a month to help better address the greater over all issues of our community. It was called the Gay and Lesbian Community Council of Utah. From its "community agenda" came the first community centers, the oversight of pride day, and our own community action plan for helping with the first wave of the AIDS epidemic.

Yes, it was often too much for a volunteer leader to do, and often bothersome. So, because of, I feel, an unwillingness to maintain it, it fell into ruin and was dismantled, leaving its projects to fend for themselves.

Without the GLCCU, organizations were left on their own to carry on former projects with no real input from the community on the bigger issues. For example there was no community input in the closure and dismantling of the Utah Stonewall Community Center on 300 West, nor the midnight-under-darkness sale of Pride Inc. etc.

Petty agendas of power brokers began to compete against each other, and in my opinion left the entire community disenfranchised. That’s pretty bad, considering in Utah we as Gays are disenfranchised from the mainstream.

In 2000 I owned a struggling business, and in communicating with other business people, we saw the need to establish a Gay Chamber of Commerce, which could help with issues of Gay owed businesses, and the recruitment and promotion of our businesses. We got together and made it happen. With its success, many business leaders stated this was what we needed for the community as a whole. An independent place where we could coordinate, offer assistance, and discuss what our overall agenda was. We attempted to do this and were successful for several months.

The project was then taken over in what I see through a series of emails as a power grab for one organization. It would seem that despite of careful nurturing it is not bringing the community together.

Now, it is my opinion and belief that perhaps the Business Guild, co-opted by the GLBTCCU, has failed, due to it not being managed in the manner originally envisioned. (I am assuming, correct me if I am wrong, that it is still around.)

Many then felt and many now feel that the small boards in this community, who keep selecting from the same small set of elite and exclusive people, are jeopardizing our future, while whitewashing our past.

With all that said, would someone clearly state the agenda of the UTAH Gay Community to me in writing. Who is or who are the persons responsible to see that we meet our goals as a community.”

Then speaking directly to Jere Keys he wrote, “Never said your past was that horrible. But since you were so quick to berate anything that is my Utah Record, with only the knowledge and opinion that was fed to you, just thought you needed a little reminder that you are not the end all, in answers, and that you too have a problematic past.

I have talked to many wonderful people who had many great things to say about you. Is it wrong to wonder about a person when He refused my invitation for coffee? Suspicion is good, especially when people arrive on the scene cloaked in self-glory, and no references.....

 It is unfortunate Jere, that as you do not know me at all, that you have gone down roads in this conversation that contradict what you profess, and the person you state you are. I have been told that your judgment of me is based solely on a circumstance that arose between Michael Aaron and myself, which I would add is none of your f*cking business, period.

Michael and I have met and have/are addressing our own issues. It would benefit you to stay out of it. Should you choose to make any prissy remark or assumption regarding our problem publicly here or anywhere, and I get one grain of crap forwarded to me regarding any of it being passed between you, the Caviar Club, or cronies of your clique, be warned, my lawyer is standing by and would love to have a conversation with you.

If you can base an entire judgment off of one person, based solely on what you hear from others without meeting them or working with them, then you have real problems. And I fear Pride day and all you are to attempt in our community may be doomed.

You are doing exactly what you tell us you aren’t, and that fact can make such a flawed judgment of me, and as I am finding others in our community show that you have aligned yourself with people who are nastier than me every day, not just in our little discussion.

Perhaps your skin is not so thick as you are stating, we all care what people think of us. It will be interesting to see the list grow of people you won’t work with as the list you will work with dwindles.

From our conversation I have found you are not one to listen well and is quick to rush to judgment. So you know Jere, I only asked people in both Cities if they thought you were a great guy. I wanted to know the type of person we were putting in charge of some very important things.

While the ratio is pretty even, they were honest stating all they loved about you, things they thought you could improve on, and areas where they feel there is no changing you mind, areas that are your own downfalls.

 I listened and figured that it was not that important to worry too much about you till now, when you have proven your critics were more than accurate.

I have not shared these things with anyone. While many stood against you they still said you were a pretty okay person with your heart in the right place. You should be happy that your community would. Mine has never done this, and it is a cold reality. So thanks Salt Lake, you remain true to your reputation.

So don’t go off angry, they liked you for all the good and bad, and cared enough to make sure somebody (who at the time cared to make sure you were welcomed and was trying to fend off a herd of crap being sent to Utah about you....) knew.

At this point I don’t, and could care less, as you per many emails this morning show you intended personal harm to me to start with. Sad, the people you are aligned with will soon have no use for you, just like she had done time and time again. (Happy holidays Sherry Booth).

 So as you are being nasty to others and listening to the crap, remember that in Utah, no one really cares how great you are or were, and that in the end, they will leave you in the cold to fend for yourself, when the small few have used you up.

I am proof that Utah will not stand up for you, they will share in your victories, often stealing them, and then kick you when you’re down.

At that time, my door will be open to you, and I’ll have Band-Aids and Kleenex waiting. The door was always open, you just drew the wrong conclusions.

Jere we all want what is best for the community, sad you seem so unwilling to set rumor and innuendo aside to have discussions and looked past all that I was saying.

In closing Jere answer simply this one question without all the crap stating only the facts surrounding it. Did you bother as a board member, think how it would appear to post board positions, with such a limit time to prepare to apply or even give the community a chance to get people interested?

While I think the world of Fran [Pruyn], and I see the urgent need to make the changes, again, the Center and the community has come up short handed, in time to show interest or get people interested. With the printing schedule of community papers, and other factors, the standard would have been at least 60 days for the public to respond. But what the heck do I know.....Perhaps the degree on the wall wasn’t worth it. One thing for sure, no matter how well intended, it will someday be thorn in all of our sides.”

 

21 December 2005 Wednesday

Mike Picardi’s letter to the SL Tribune editor was published today. “Who is lying? I have an answer for Sen. Chris Buttars, R-West Jordan ("Gay-straight clubs under fire," Tribune, Dec. 16). The gay-straight alliances are most likely talking about people like him who have picked on and bullied anyone who does not fit his vision of "normal."

These groups, many of them with more straight than gay members, work with teacher - and sometimes with parental - supervision to help kids cope with the hatred they face every day of their lives.

And why does Sen. Buttars say it is the "gay groups" who lie? What lies have been told? When was the last time he spent any time with kids who were bullied and/or threatened every day they were alive?

I also find it curious that while our first lady, Mary Kay Huntsman, is working to bring help to all kids who are disenfranchised, the senator is out to slam the door shut on them. Most Utahns find the senator's anger and hatred perverted.”

Jeff Geigle of Richfield wrote to the Salt Lake Tribune “A waste of time- Why would Sen. Chris Buttars, R-West Jordan, even spend one minute of valuable legislative time on trying to outlaw gay-straight alliance clubs in Utah high schools when there are so many more important things to worry about such as homelessness, affordable housing, eliminating the sales tax on food, etc. Get a life!”

Mark Swonson posted in the forum perhaps in response to me raising the issue of so few resources for aging Gay men. “Center Outreach to Seniors and Middle Age Men  Yeah! This is issue needs to be addressed. This issue was also raised at The National Gay Men's Health Summit. There needs to be more programs for Gay men 40+ and the issues that we will face as we get close to retirement. Plus, each age group men will have different issues so for a Gay man who is  43 than a man who is 62 or a Gay man who is 62 than a man who is in 80's. As Gay Men we really need to take charge of this issue either from the Gay Men's Health Summit as a Source or UAF that resources for us Gay men. But we need to do something since a lot the Gay Men Baby Boomers are reaching this vital age as we speak.”

David Nelson posted some links to recent financial disclosures of Utah Gay leaders probably in response to Chad and Jere’s disagreement over transparency of salaries of Rep. Jackie Biskupski (campaign), state Sen. Scott D. McCoy (campaign), Equality Utah (political-action committee), Equality Utah Foundation (educational), and Gay and Lesbian  Community Center of Utah Inc. (educational).

EQUALITY UTAH In 2004, "Salaries, compensation, and employee benefits" was "$67,034" and "Other salaries and wages" was "$129,995." Specifically, "Vice Chair Scott McCoy" "$42,000" ($16.80 an hour), "Treasurer Carol Gnade" $19,000" ($63.33 an hour) and "Executive Director" "Michael Mitchell" "$6,034" ($15.09 an hour).

EQUALITY UTAH FOUNDATION *In 2004, "Compensation of officers, directors, etc." was "$28,489" including "$15,086" "Executive Director" "Michael Mitchell" "$15,086" ($15.09 an hour).

GAY AND LESBIAN COMMUNITY CENTER OF UTAH INC. (2003)

*In 2003, "Compensation of officers, directors, etc." was "$39,993" and "Other salaries and wages" was "$180,339." In 2002, "Compensation of officers,  directors, etc." was "$73,000"  and "Other salaries and wages" was "$134,003."

Chad Keller then upset still how the Center appointed the newest board member wrote to Jere keys, “Jere answer simply this one question without all the crap stating only the facts surrounding it. Did you bother as a board member to look how it would appear to post board positions, with such a limit time to prepare to apply or even give the community a chance to get people interested? While I think the world of Fran (Pruyn), and I see the urgent need to make the changes, again, the Center and the community has come up short handed.

The schedule does not give proper time to show interest or get people interested. With the printing schedule of community newspapers, some with internet, and some without, word of mouth and etc..

From an industry standard from a marketing, public relations 60 days with and aggressive campaign to let people know there were positions open. Jere, do you support such a limited time, what was the discussion on this, and Ids this time enough to truly enroll the community in being members of the board.

Or is this just another way to alienate people and limit the pool of candidates to those who are part of what seems to be your own clique of people...let’s call ‘em Jere's Kids!

I will not need to provide much from the past, I can see that plenty will be provided to me in the days months and years to come. But what the heck do I know.....From what everyone running the Center says thanks to its board members and you, is that I am truly stupid, non-talented, and full of hot air.... Perhaps the degree on the wall wasn’t worth it. One things for sure, no matter how well intended, it will someday be thorn in all of our sides.   

Jere: It would seem that this is an exact copy of what was trying to be attempted under the name of Utah GLBT Community Leadership Forum. I guess I should be flattered that you found one of my ideas to be so wonderful that you would copy it. In reading your blog, since the statement and policy you wrote is so limiting to our community to participate, would this be a complete list of what you feel best represents the Utah Gay and Lesbian Community: Jere Keys—GLBTCCU & SLMetro, Charles Milne—U of U LGBTRC, Kellie Foreman—U of U SRHSS, Mike Thompson—Equality Utah, Mike Picardi—UT Stonewall Dems, Stuart Merrill—UT Stonewall Dems, Debra Daniels—U of U WRC, L'aura L. Bradford-- NUWROC, Robert Austin--GLBTCCU, Evelyn Garlington--GLBTCCU, Keri Jones, Troy Williams--KRCL, Alice Sikorski- -PFLAG, Valarie Larabee--GLBTCCU, Peter Savas—RCGSE

Seems that if this organization to accomplish anything for the community it must first follow the rules of what was established with the GLCCU (that’s the old community council) which the Leadership Forum based itself off of, which you are infringing upon what we were attempting to do: 1) Everyone is welcome to come to meetings, with appropriate times for no members to address the group. 2) Every organization is a member until such time there is sufficient interest to require membership 3) until such time there is a strong, broad, and diverse representation of the community, we remember that we serve at the will of the community for which we are attempting to represent.

Please tell us why these people were selected to be representative of our community, while others are not. It would seem other than one or two that this is more of a group to insure that the paychecks keep flowing, and that only people who have a paycheck, and those willing to support the paid gay process are welcome. Is this assumption correct?

I can honestly say Jere, that when I was doing the Forum, we were a true representation of the community. Not just those I liked and those I did not. Participation was to just come if you could. It takes people to build things like centers, festivals, and oh yeah communities. We all have a right to participate in something that is COMMUNITY RELATED. Something I understand you forgot in Vegas too.

From the looks of it the Center might be better off without all of the Salaries and benefits. Stream Line and reduce the labor overhead would make it stronger!

posted by Chad Keller Jere; Please provide to the community a complete list of all of the GAY/LESBIAN ORGANIZATIONS that are participating. While I believe in building coalitions, and partnerships I wonder exactly how many of the straight organizations that are present in this list need to be truly enlisted in the building a healthy gay community.

Would it not be better to start internally and invite all gay groups to have one representative present, rather than a collection of people who don’t necessarily have a mission to serve our community, and then multiple representation from others. Are the missions of the people participating consistent with the goals of the organization.

Do the PARTICIPATING organization hierarchy and bylaws allow for the participation in such a group? Is this organization properly incorporated under the laws of the state of Utah, or is it part of another group? If is part of another group, is it permitted in the bylaws that they have on file with the state?

Let’s look at and discuss the following from your last minutes that were posted in your blog. Remember, your group is conducting the business of our community, we have a right to ask, and I hope that other members of this "group" representing our community would also respond to my inquires.

I am and so are other listening Jere for you to launch another of what I see as your signature attacks on me. I’m ready! I would remind those listening that the Community Leadership Forum that was created and crushed by the Center was accomplishing much of the same.

The forum however had board participation and input from the entire community; Minutes from September 1 Meeting Minutes for September LGBT Task Force meeting: September 1st, 2005 The Following members were present at the meeting: Jere Keys—GLBTCCU & SLMetro, Charles Milne—U of U LGBTRC, Kellie Foreman—U of U SRHSS, Mike Thompson—Equality Utah, Mike Picardi—UT Stonewall Dems, Stuart Merrill—UT Stonewall Dems, Debra Daniels—U of U WRC, L'aura L. Bradford-- NUWROC, Robert Austin--GLBTCCU, Evelyn Garlington--GLBTCCU, Keri Jones, Troy Williams--KRCL, Alice Sikorski- -PFLAG, Valarie Larabee--GLBTCCU, Peter Savas—RCGSE

Are the above a complete representation of the actual GLBT Community. In the spirit of full disclosure who are the other "leaders” and why is there multiple representations from certain groups. Is this a redo of the Police Liaison Committee? The below mention mission is puzzling: It states GLBT Task force "is Community wide coalition working toward....." Is this not the mission to similar to that of the Alliance for Unity? Should we not be concerned with health of our own community first, then later create (I’m sure a paid position knowing our community) someone from this group to represent this group to something like that Alliance.

Also more puzzling, why is this then called gay when it is not specific in its structure and membership to our community. Mission as approved:

The Utah GLBT task force is a community wide coalition working toward a unified, proactive, and healthy community in Utah. Vision: A cohesive, empowered, and mobilized GLBT Community.

The above Vision is actually the basis for your Mission Statement. All of this should be present here. Regardless of it missing, this vision is limited to only the members. If we are to mobilize the Community would then the organization be open and willing to make a positive effort to enroll and seek their participation. Seems narrow and to quote a previous email from you "sinister"

 Remember Jere, I get paid to write Missions, bylaws, and incorporation papers....So as a professional what’s up with the added unnecessary verbiage? Your mission is overly broad. The people participating in the vote below. Is this a clerical error on the part of the of the person recording the vote or are there "mystery members?"

The numbers in attendance and the yays and nays don’t add up. A motion was made to approve the above vision statement given review of the vision statement in 6 month, by Stuart Merrill, and seconded by Evelyn Garlington, 13 yeas, 2 abstentions and 1 nay.

Jere, this is a big one. Your integrity dealing with me, as with the Center's dealings with me and others....miss the whole statement you have adopted. Again, larger, who is the focus here? The larger main stream, or our community? Or is this requirements for membership. Please explain this and narrow it down for us how exactly this partisans to our community  (GLBTWHATEVERELSETODY) (Yeah...I’m one that has a problem with our title GLBT, and us being a dumping ground for the masses of sexually repressed.)

Code of ethics: Membership in the Utah GLBT Leadership task Force requires personal integrity, belief in the dignity and worth of individuals, respect for individual differences and diversity, respect for individual privacy, a commitment to service, and dedication to the development of individuals and the larger community through education, communication, and service. Motion for approval by Evelyn Garlington, and Mike Thompson seconded, 15 yeas, 1 abstention, and 0 nays.

Strategy and Work What materialized with the Katrina Aid. I have spoken to many in the community who heard nothing. I fully support the aid to Katrina, and hope that we didn’t drop the ball. Was there specific connections to our community that need to be addressed? Katrina Support, what will the community response be to help the survivors of response specifically towards the GLBT community? Monetary contributions should be sent through the rainbow fund. Service projects were proposed. A call will be sent out for donations for the Youth Food Pantry. Use of existing tools for communication will be used to mobilize organizations and groups. Did this happen? Again the masses heard nothing.

Wouldn’t it be better to enroll all of us in planning this important event. Seems like the select few doing this always seem to complain how much work they have on their plate, then really great action on behalf of our community falls through the cracks.

National Coming Out day Full page Ad. Use of the shoe network. Evelyn to set up donation forms and electronic forms. Discussion about feasibility will happen online. All task force members agreed to raise 10 people to recruit 10 people. The Peace Rally listed is disturbing. Am I to assume that our community and its leaders don’t have enough clout to have a rally of their own?

Sadly, the New World order Protest Strategy doesn’t work. If our message was to Bush to stop a war on families why then would we allow our message to be lost with in the mix of all the others seeking the spotlight? If the point was to have gay people there as participating citizens, what would then make them stand out among the rest of the crowd. Isn’t our ultimate goal to finally be accepted and blend in? Peace Rally, September 24th, unified presence of LGBT Community. Pioneer Park Rally at Noon, meet up at 11:00 AM, Please bring a sign that says stop the war on gay families, or we support all troops. Idea is to show visibility at the protest and join as a community in the protest. Again, Big problem listed here below

‘regarding the Media, as leaders you have the right to speak on behalf of your individual groups only. NOT THE COMMUNITY AS A WHOLE! Not all of the community accepts the missions of those represented, and unless the whole community,(everyone wanting to participate Jere) can come and participate in the creation of the talking points, then we are just rehashing old statistics time and again. This is where we allow our enemies to gain strength.

Talking points are created to address specific issues surrounding a specific moment. (IE the participation of the GLBT Community in the Pioneer Park protest, and why the end of the war in Iraq had importance to us here in America, the statistics of the don’t ask don’t tell and it impact on the war, Gay families who lost sons or daughters in the war, and how the new Iraq government will benefit gay people in Muslim based Iraq.)

Basically you’re asking only those you allow to participate in how to talk to the media. I personally do not support at this time groups like Equality Utah, only because I don’t see any payoff at this point to the supposed allies we have in the state legislature. Truly where is the contract that a candidate would support our issues if they took our money and get elected? Or do we fund them and just hope in the end provided they answer their questions in a positive manner. Do you feel the same?

A proposed committee was formed to create talking points for working with the media. It was addressed that Equality Utah will draft some talking points and propose those to the task force. We also need to reframe the language that we use to restructure the information that is available to the community. The purpose of such documents will help community members in talking with others, including the media based upon current situation and personal experiences so we can reframe the language used to describe the GLBT community. Don’t know Jere, but I think you and this group are shortchanging yourselves and our entire community. It would appear that it is not going to work. Did I miss some minutes or something? CK

Melissa Larsen responded regarding financial-disclosure reports for non-profits- “ For anyone reading or participating in this group, the financial records for every non-profit organization in America are available at www.guidestar.org For every state run PAC organization, those records can be found at www.utah.gov  I believe that if you look at these websites you will find that the salaries of the major gay non-profit organizations in Utah are no better or worse than anywhere else in the state or country.

In fact, with a little investigation...the salaries of those who run other statewide organizations such as the Utah Foster Care Foundation and the United Way make a considerably larger amount of money than other Executive Directors.

When we sacrifice our hard earned dollars to donate to non-profits some of that money must go to salaries, it is the nature of the beast. Thank you for bringing this important topic up, however, no non-profit in Utah remains secretive about the amount of money they bring in and spend. They all have to report that information to the IRS and other financial institutions.

Of all the salaries in the world, those of the people who give their time and energy to the non-profit sector are the least kept secret. They are not hard to find at all.”

A person calling himself Barrytowns, I am assuming a Gay man wrote after reading the battle between Chad and Jere,  “WOW! This really is a free space for all of you bitter people to rip each other apart in a "public space." Well let me just tell you what this looks like to an outsider. To me this looks like a community that isn't getting anywhere because you all insist on being right. Some of you speak of a "level playing field" well unless you are willing to compromise as well there will be no "level playing field."

You say nasty things about the community leaders, WHY? are you trying to prove a point, because if you are make it already and let’s move on. I realize that people in this community can be really cruel to each other, but you all have a golden opportunity to be the bigger person.

Some of you have been around for a long time, which is great, maybe your knowledge could be of use instead of spending all your time ranting and raving about what a bad job everyone is doing on this group. My hope for you all is that you can get over all the wounds and crap and make some progress in this damn state. Good Night and Good Luck.”

 

22 December 2005 Tuesday

I responded to Barrytowns once I came home from school. “I set up this site that anyone, members of the group or not, may post, however only members receive email. I only have this group monitored for one reason and that is to keep the proliferation of porno advertisers from going unsolicited to subscribers to this group.

Some people live in Utah some don't. Who cares. I've lived in Utah off and on since 1973 and continuously since 1985 and I still don't consider myself a Utahn and neither do other Utahns. I am and always will be an outsider.

 However as resident of Salt Lake City, that’s another story. I feel very attached to my adopted city and love, LOVE Salt Lake. When I chose to finally buy a house I made sure I had a SLC address. Salt Lake City contains some the best people on the planet! West Jordan can go fuck itself along with all of Utah County! That's my opinion and I am sticking with it! Progressives Come move to SLC if the air don't kill you nothing will.

I agree that so much of our energy could be put to better use- however people posting on this site have every right to express opinions and feelings they may have. People have the right to respond back. Every one that has posted something on this site had a need to get something off their chest. Agree or disagree. That's okay.

Everyone that has posted on this site are people who are extremely strong willed personalities with strong opinions and emotions. That is why they are the movers and shakers. Everyone has worked passionately in some way or another to contribute to the building of this community. Perhaps an "outsider" will see these expressions differently than I do. I see them more as quarrels and squabbles within a "family". I am old fashion enough to still think of Gay people as family and not little straight wannabes. Besides those who are as old I am remember vividly the slogan "Silence = Death".

Utah is full of passive aggressive people who wouldn't say shit if their mouth was full of it. They smile at you while stabbing one in the back. I myself would rather know where someone stands then trying to sugar coat everything.

 We are humans we have differences of opinions. We all have egos. We get our feelings hurt.

David Nelson and I sparred ferociously when we were members of the Gay and Lesbian Community Council of Utah. We were in different camps and had different perceptions how GLCCU should operate. I've written some pretty nasty things in my private journal about him from heated council squabbling.

 Having said that there is probably few in the community that I admire more than David. He has followed his vision, been knocked down, verbally abused, disparaged, and yet he has the fortitude to continue working for the rights of Gay people from his perspective. Do I have to agree with everything David does. Hell no...but in my mind he's been robbed of recognition and accolades by short term visionaries with short term memories.

Chad Keller is a visionary, a passionate, free floating “ideas man.” Most of the groups in this community have at one point or another benefited from his vision of fabulousness. I have disagreed with Chad many a time and told him so, and yet I also know that I owe my re-involvement in a community to Chad, a community in which my archives was stolen and destroyed, a newspaper I created was usurped, and my name sullied by my insisting that our community center have oversight by the community. Duh! My love of the Gay community is greater than the animosity I feel for the people who did some wrongs to me.

I really don't dwell on it but just move on. But like the proverbial elephant "I never forget." Chad has had many of his ideas usurped and probably is feeling a little bitter. (okay a lot). I hope he can move on and use his incredible talents, which less imaginative people seen to always be "borrowing", to create new spaces suited for his artistic temperament.

Mike Picardi has the soul of Don Quixote to still be passionate in the Democratic Party in Utah. I so admire him for seeing how things should be and not as they currently are. What is more brutal than then the political arena? Ask David Nelson. It darn nearly killed him.

Jere Keys is an incredibly energetic young man who brings the fresh perspective of an "it can be done" attitude. He is doing great things. He's allowed to make mistakes. He's earned it.

Gay Heaven will not be Gay Heaven to me if both my Gay friends and my Gay enemies aren't there. They both shape who I am and who I will be. (I hope I have a few lovers there also). I guess a few straights will make it to heaven also. Not many with their attitudes I would imagine.

Anyone willing to jump into our collective Gay bed and scrap and scrabble with the rest of us is truly a remarkable person or plain crazy. We say we love diversity but sometimes I think not. That's my opinion and I am sticking with it! (or at least until I change my mind) Ben Williams the old and fat.” Posted by Barrytowns Re: Ripping each other apart Thank you for your assumption that I live somewhere else. Truth be told, I am a native of Utah and have just come back here after a long hiatus, your reaction and lack of acceptance is why I left. I appreciate your paranoia and the assertion that I am from another state, it reaffirms for me your true motivation in  participating in this "open dialogue".

It is interesting that when someone you don't know participates in this dialogue your delusions get the best of you and you feel that you must delve into someone’s private life in order to discredit them immediately. I used to go to the Sun before it was destroyed in the tornado, I go to the Trapp on a regular basis. You know me, you all know me...I am the one you never wanted to talk to because it would be beneath you. Thank you for reaffirming my opinions. I will no longer be participating in your "open dialogue". Good night and good luck. Barrytown

I responded to him “I don't go to the Trapp often anymore, but I am more than happy to talk to you. I will be the balding heavy bearded guy with glasses. Oh wait that describes most of us! LOL Seriously glad you are back and have fresh viewpoints Ben Williams

Ed Firmage Jr. the professor at the U wrote to the Salt Lake Tribune “Real family values- It's a measure of how far we've sunk as a nation that the pace of social progress is now set not by visionary lawmakers of the sort that gave us the Bill of Rights, but by corporations. America's best companies have learned that they cannot afford to marginalize workers. They therefore give gay employees the same benefits as their heterosexual colleagues.

If the Utah Legislature wants to follow Gov. Huntsman's lead in attracting America's best companies to Utah, it would do well to take a page out of corporate America's handbook. At the very least, it should stop portraying Utah as a backwater dominated by the self-righteous and the narrow-minded. If Sen. Chris Buttars, R-West Jordan, and his colleagues in the Legislature want to demonstrate their concern about our children's welfare, let them.

Instead of attacking gay-straight groups in the schools, issue a resolution demanding that Nevada clean up its act and force its mining companies to adopt zero-mercury emissions procedures. And let's see tough new legislation that forces coal-based power companies operating in Utah to adopt not only zero mercury emissions, but also overall pollution controls that keep Utah's air and water clean. When the Legislature, instead of wasting time denigrating homosexuals, directs its ire against companies such as Wal-Mart that don't give their employees a living wage and health insurance, then and only then will I believe that it is acting on behalf of family values.”

Marshall Brown wrote to the Salt Lake Tribune, “ Sara for Senate- Hillcrest High student Sara Hardcastle ("Gay-straight clubs under fire," Dec. 16) and Sen. Chris Buttars, R-West Jordan, each has an agenda. Sara seems interested in information and tolerance. Sen. Buttars seems fixated on bigotry and ignorance. Sara seems to appreciate diversity. Sen. Buttars seems scared of it. Sara comes across as a youth with a vision of a nation that refuses to place judgments upon people. Sen. Buttars apparently would like a nation of only citizens like him.

Sara probably is right to be scared of Sen. Buttars. She'd possibly want to describe her views to him and how accepting differing lifestyles is what is expected in our culture. Sen. Buttars possibly would attempt to bully Sara with his religion-based emotional rhetoric.

Sara possibly understands that we are living at a time when we are just about helpless against domestic tyrants. Sen. Buttars likely understands that he has the power. So we are left with school-age Sara, who most likely just wants to allow each of us to be able to live our lives as who we are. Or we are left with Sen. Buttars who clearly states that he will prevail in his quest for legislating bigotry.

For Christmas, I'd like to see Sara replace Sen. Buttars in the Utah Senate. Then, I'd like to see Sen. Buttars go back to school and write 100 times on the board, "Please don't treat me as I've tried to treat you."

 

23 December 2005 Friday

Kevin Warren aka Ruadhan Sheridan, wrote Chad Keller to make amends  for a comment that Chad took the wrong way. Quoting Chad Keller who wrote on the forum, “I’m not sure quite how to take this. If is because I spoke my mind then Oh well. We trust everything to the center and I think it is wrong. It does not represent the community as a whole, only a portion. And if it is to remind me what a piece of crap I am, well I have gotten the message loud and clear from the Caviar Club that I am 1) stupid, 2) not creative, 3) unoriginal, 4) an embarrassment to the community, and to quote three alpha social working lesbians ....5) "do the world a favor find a gun and kill myself. (I have the gun just can’t find the bullets, probably because I am so retarded. Merry Xmas I guess,” replied “Ineffective as email is to convey emotions and body language, please don’t take it as an attack on yourself. I have been teasing you about this or that for years, so don’t lose your sense of humor on me now.”

“All I was trying to say is that there is no consensus on what we as a Lambda community need to do as one group, and that getting the diverse elements that make us all up to work toward that end is like stacking marbles. Works like that for the Pagan community, as well. Ruadhan.”

 

24 December 2005 Saturday

No entry

 

25 December 2005 Sunday Christmas

It does not seem like Christmas to me as I didn’t go anywhere and Mike Romero is in Colorado. He went to Fort Collins. He took the 4 a.m. train from SLC to Denver while coming down with the flu. His niece Christine Taylor  had bought him tickets to see the play "Naked Men Singing" in Denver. At least I have Priscilla, Saffy, and Smokey to share some ham with.

            I called Mom down in Vegas and they were all fine with Charline’s kids spending Christmas with her.

Chad Keller had a letter to the editor printed in the Tribune. “Let Bagley do it -What's the hubbub over a quarter ("Drop the beehive," Tribune, Dec. 17)? Trains, beehives, or sego lilies just don't hit the spot for me. For everything we can come up with, someone's going to have a problem with whatever.

As Utah is  traditionally the laughing stock of America, let's give our public what it deserves. Let's just hand the project to [Tribune cartoonist] Pat Bagley. I'm sure he will come up with something that will leave America in stitches. Like his Olympic pins, America will snatch them up. With the burden of the selection process out of the way, we can get back to the staging of our annual comedy show, the Utah state legislative session. Chad Keller Salt Lake City.”

 

26 December 2005 Monday

Daryl Babcock of Bountiful wrote a letter to the Editor of the Salt Lake Tribune, “The blame for Buttars - Sen. Chris Buttars, R-West Jordan, is being unfairly singled out as a hate-filled, narrow-minded bigot. While his views on science in the classroom, gay existence and just about everything else clearly prove these charges right, we must acknowledge that he was probably raised to believe all of these things. He is about as likely to have a humane thought for anyone outside of his self-righteous existence as I am to win the lottery 10 times consecutively. Those really to blame for his views are the voters of West Jordan who have twice said that he represents their way of thinking. Just as much to blame are the non-voters of West Jordan who are obviously not offended by these views.”

Julie and Garth Samuels  of Taylorsville also wrote to the Salt Lake Tribune. “Buttars attacks children Thank you for your editorial in support of the gay-straight alliance clubs and your comments that Sen. Chris Buttars' peers should rein him in (Tribune, Dec. 19). Thanks to Gov. Jon Huntsman for his support of parental rights for these clubs. My husband and I have five children and six grandchildren.

We are not going to stand for the kind of bigotry and hatred that Sen. Buttars and those like him attempt to spread throughout this valley. Our son is not a "perversion." How dare Chris Buttars put this kind of label on our children.

It's time for parents to stand up for what is right. Our children may be different from what Mr. Buttars thinks they should be, but they were sent to us as they are to be loved as they are, not to be objects of hatred and ignorance, two qualities that Mr. Buttars has more than his share of. Shame on Chris Buttars for causing our 80-year-old mother to cry as he launches, once again, his attacks against her grandson, granddaughter and all other children like them.”

Stuart Merrill posted in the Hyde Park Forum, “In a world where success is measured by the size of someone's house, car, or check to a charity, it was wonderful to see the Salt Lake Tribune announce Pamela Atkinson as the Utahn of the year.

Pamela carries clothing and sleeping bags in her car to give to anyone in need. She arranges meetings with the Governor when she sees an injustice. She has truly devoted her life to caring for those in need. I salute the Tribune's choice for Utahn of the year. I pray we will all see her as an example to emulate.

As we approach our 2006 Utah Legislative Session we face many harsh realities for Utah's less privileged. Before leaving Washington to celebrate the birth of Christ, our national leaders voted to cut healthcare and housing for the needy.

We now must ask our local leaders to make up for these funds in our state budget. With tax cut fever gripping our state, the outlook is bleak; mothers with special needs infants, the homeless, and people living with HIV/AIDS are in fear of losing the assistance they need to stay or become taxpaying members of society.

If these needs are not met today the cost to Utah taxpayers will be many times higher in the future. We live in a democracy where one voice can make a difference. We live in a democracy where an army of voices can change reality. This is the year to make your voices heard.”

 

27 December 2005 Tuesday

James Hicks commenting on Chad Keller’s Letter to SL Tribune Editor wrote, “That is excellent! As much as we'd like to put the blame entirely on Buttars. I believe we need to also need to take a good hard look at all the other Legislators who vote along with Mr. Buttars and agree and approve his hateful, bigoted, ideas and thoughts. I'm not sure how many of you call your Legislators? I've actually had some great conversations with my legislator. I encourage everyone to give them a call and let them know that there are those of us who don't believe as Buttars. I realize it may not do a lot of good, but at least it makes you feel better to know you picked up the phone and tried to make a difference. James Hicks”

 

28 December 2005 Wednesday

Mark Swonson posted on the forum site some information on the film Broke Back Mountain. “To all our Film Society members and supporters, Happy New Year from all of us here at Salt Lake Film Society! May your film viewing for the 2006 season be amazing, challenging, and  entertaining. We'll certainly do our best to help make that possible. Holiday Hours!

We're OPEN regular hours except New Year's Eve when we're OPEN through  the 7 o'clock show times with no 9pm show times. Otherwise, we'll see  you at the theater!

Starting with...BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN Opens Friday. Early MIDNIGHT screening on Thursday night. Tickets on sale now. If you're interested in BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN, the author, the actor, or the director's body of work, please support Salt Lake Film Society by  choosing us to see this film the first week! We'll see you at the  theater! Mark Swonson”

 

29 December 2005 Thursday

Thomas Burr a reporter for The Salt Lake Tribune wrote in an article, “State senator has a lot more on his plate than most  Talk of the Morning: What's in a Nickname?

Sen. Scott McCoy is driving home a point about his nickname, "The Gay." He's putting it on his license plate. The Salt Lake City Democrat, who is Utah's only openly gay senator, ordered a personalized license plate with his sexual orientation emblazoned on it. McCoy says he's keeping the white Ski Utah plate as a souvenir but he's not going to put it on his car. "I think it's funny, but I don't want to reenforce that that's all I am," McCoy said Wednesday, noting he has standard plates on his vehicle now.

            The term came from a Salt Lake Tribune story quoting conservative Sen. Chris Buttars' reaction to hearing that McCoy had been elected by Democrats to fill a vacant seat. "The gay?" asked a surprised Buttars, who then declined to comment. McCoy was elected by his district's Democrat delegates after former Sen. Paula Julander resigned for health reasons.

            Elizabeth Solomon, who, along with the American Civil Liberties Union of Utah, fought the Utah Department of Motor Vehicles to allow the word gay on plates, said it was great that McCoy had ordered the plate. But, she added, "he should put it on his car."

            Solomon, who has a gay son and two adopted kids who are gay, has the personalized plate "GaysROK" on her car. She has offered to donate $50 to the Gay, Lesbian and Transgendered Community Center for every person who orders and displays on their vehicle a plate with the word gay. Solomon says McCoy doesn't qualify unless his car is wearing it. "He's cheating," she said.

            AIDS activist Stuart Merrill wrote, “I just spend the last two nights reading all the dialogue on this forum. (Yes I know that's a remarkably pathetic admission). As one of the group some of you call the "caviar club," my first reaction is to be defensive. But, what good would that do?

 I, for one, do all my community work for no pay. I have AIDS, my health is compromised as was my career. I presently make below the poverty line, some 90k a year less than when I was healthy. I work nights so I can lobby for HIV/AIDS funding during the day. I too am a native Utahn, who returned a couple years ago after many years abroad. I too have, even in my short 2 year tenure here, been a victim of some of the incomparable viciousness of past gay Utah leadership.

To give you an example; I get the shakes for several hours a day due to my meds. I tried to get more involved in the community, however, a person who had a personal stake in seeing that my voice wasn't heard started telling people that I was a meth addict. Just for to the record I have been clean for some time, and he knew it, and I work for a company that has random and mandatory drug tests.

This particular person was successful. There are still many doors closed to me as a result, and many people who unfairly took sides against me. These people are now so invested in being against me that, I fear, it could damage the work I do trying to help impoverished people living with HIV/AIDS.

I fear they will never see past the anger they were told to have for me. I fear they are just as many victims as I. I tell you this so you, Chad, and David, understand that I get, to some small degree, your anger.

Utah really amazes me. More than anything I am continually struck by the fact that the Christian Right of Utah doesn't need to defeat us. Look at the dialogue in this forum, we defeat ourselves. We defeat each other. We don't need their help.

I read this dialogue and I hear so many incredibly articulate, intelligent, well educated, well meaning, gay Utahns express their anger. I wonder to myself how to stop us from destroying ourselves by constantly attacking each other? How can we turn all this talent into a positive cohesive force?

Believe it or not Chad [Keller] and David [Nelson], this is one of the underlying motivations of the GLBT Leadership Task Force. They didn't try to exclude anyone. On the contrary, they went to great lengths to get as broad a sampling of the community as possible.

We just want to address this and other pressing problems. We want to figure out how to get people to play nice in the sandbox. We want to harness the talents of many people like you guys and many, many more out there. We want to move the community forward and stop the constant beating each other over the heads.

I think you would be amazed at how many of us on the task force agree with much of your sentiments. Your assumptions to the contrary are mistaken. Yes, it's a big task. But, if they can do it in South Africa, I think we can manage here in Utah.

That being said, I my opinion, it is important to keep a balance. As someone who lived, worked, and studied in the Soviet Union for several years, I am a firm believer that too big a "Soviet" will always destroy the best intention. A mob dialogue also isn't the answer.

This type of resolution can't be accomplished in an electronic forum. It can only be accomplished face to face. The electronic forum was merely a by-product, a tool to assist in the face to face dialogue. If mistakes were made I'm sure all are as eager as I to improve the process, most especially if it will make the process more inclusive. But I believe above all it must remain a face to face dialogue rather than shifting the focus to an electronic forum.

Lastly, I have to say a word about the people at the GLBTCCU, "the center". I have called people from the center on their cells literally in the middle of the night to asked for help for addicted homeless youth. The person I called got dressed and drove to help on the spot. They always offer sound systems for a candlelight vigil, or whatever event is coming up. They are there for conference calls at 8 am or 9 pm. Sometimes I think they are not allowed to say "no".

Often, I drop in, to their always open doors, just to vent. They are good people and, in my opinion, under paid. They work their asses off to put it, frankly. I understand that it was not always so, but you should not assume they are the same as the people you are vilifying. They are not. I must have said the serenity prayer dozens of times reading this dialogue. Peace to all and to the rich a hefty tax cut… Stuart Merrill

 

30 December 2005 Friday

This was an interesting article printed in the Salt Lake Tribune. Gay Utahns see selves in 'Brokeback Mountain' by Brandon Griggs.

“Like many gay Utahns, Ritchie Olsen has been bursting with anticipation over "Brokeback Mountain," the acclaimed new film about a secret love affair between two Wyoming cowboys. After all, the movie could almost be the story of his life.

            Olsen grew up in Neola, a conservative town of about 500 people on the southern edge of the Uintas. His family ran a small cattle ranch, where Olsen spent much of his youth on a horse. Although Olsen struggled with his attraction to men, like the characters in the film he kept quiet and married a local girl, his true nature stifled by community pressure and his own fear.

             "I didn't feel like I had any other choice," said the 32-year-old, who didn't come out of the closet until he divorced his wife 18 months later and moved away. "I was expected to fit a certain image, and I did. It created a lot of anxiety."

            That's why for Olsen and countless other Westerners, "Brokeback Mountain" is an event film and a hot-button topic. Besides being a rare Hollywood drama about gay romance, it may be the first high-profile movie to address homosexuality within a group rarely associated with it: the iconic cowboys of the American West. These onscreen lovers aren't San Francisco hairdressers, they're stoic Marlboro men.

             After opening Wednesday in Park City, the movie arrives in Salt Lake City today amid controversy and critical praise. "Brokeback Mountain" leads all 2005 films with seven Golden Globe nods - the Utah Film Critics Society named it the year's best movie - and will almost certainly be nominated for a Best Picture Oscar next month. It also has drawn fire from conservatives who dismiss it as "homosexual propaganda" and predict it'll be greeted by empty theaters. Some conservative groups have considered protesting the movie but say they don't want to give it free publicity.

             Based on a short story by Annie Proulx, the film tells the story of Ennis (Heath Ledger) and Jack (Jake Gyllenhaal), two young ranch hands hired to herd sheep on a lonely Wyoming mountaintop in the summer of 1963. Thrown together by circumstance, the pair forge an emotional bond that turns unexpectedly sexual and that neither man is equipped to define. "I ain't queer," Ennis says after their first drunken encounter. "Me neither," responds Jack.

            Separated by geography and shame, the two marry women and settle down in different parts of the West, meeting for trysts in motels and by remote campfires over the next 20 years. The forbidden affair exacts an emotional toll on their marriages and on themselves.

             "I found myself wondering what a gay person in such a masculine-oriented society did - whether they fled to Denver or toughed it out," Proulx told The Salt Lake Tribune in 1999 when asked about the origins of the story. "I began thinking about homophobia. In fact, the thing that destroyed the relationship between the two characters was their own homophobia."

            The movie's trailer has drawn titters from moviegoers uncomfortable with its frank sexuality. And the film may bomb with religiously conservative audiences in the heartland and others who don't want to watch male actors lock lips onscreen. But after three weeks of limited release, largely in big cities where moviegoers tend to be more liberal, "Brokeback Mountain" looks like a sleeper hit. Over the Christmas holiday weekend the film earned the highest per-screen average of any new movie in the nation.

            As of Thursday morning more than 155 people - an unprecedented number - had bought advance tickets for last night's midnight screening at the Broadway theater in downtown Salt Lake City. Many were members of the Utah Gay Rodeo Association, a group of part-time wranglers for whom "Brokeback Mountain" is almost a home movie.

             "On the gay-rodeo circuit this movie has been talked about for almost two years," said Clark Monk, a Salt Lake City registered nurse who competes in roping and barrel-racing events. Monk hopes that "Brokeback Mountain," which lacks swishy stereotypes or an overt political agenda, will change moviegoers' attitudes towards homosexuality. "But I don't know if mainstream straight America is ready for it."

            Monk, 48, grew up on a dairy farm in Spanish Fork and helped lead his family's cattle up and down Spanish Fork Canyon each spring and fall. But the religious and family pressure to conform was so great that he didn't explore his homosexuality until after he served an LDS Church mission and moved to Salt Lake City in his late 20s. Even then, he wasn't comfortable being out of the closet until he discovered the gay rodeo group.

              "That kind of opened the door," he said. "I could do all the things I enjoyed as a kid and still be a gay man."

              "Brokeback Mountain" is set mostly in the 1960s, when the gay-rights movement was in its infancy. But Utah's homosexual cowboys say the state's small-town attitudes toward gays aren't much more tolerant today. Milo Bardwell was raised on his grandfather's farm in Tremonton and, like most rural gay men, moved to a larger city to find acceptance. After coming out, some rural gays have been ostracized by their families.

             In Tremonton, as in ranching towns throughout the West, the rugged cowboy myth leaves no room for homosexuality. But Olsen says he wouldn't trade his Neola cowboy upbringing for anything. And Bardwell, 39, who now lives in Herriman, bristles at the suggestion that his sexual orientation makes him less of a wrangler.

             "It has nothing to do with how we can handle a horse or a rope. I can rope with the best of them," said Bardwell, who trains horses and competes on the gay-rodeo circuit. "We're not a bunch of sissies riding around."

              If gay Utahns are lining up for "Brokeback Mountain," Utah's mainstream rodeo cowboys are almost as united in their disdain for the film.

   "I wouldn't go see it for nothin'," said Lewis Field, a rodeo coach at Utah Valley State College. "I feel the gay lifestyle is wrong. And I can guarantee you that if you talk to many people in the ranching and rodeo community, they're going to be the same way."

              "Hell no, I'd never see anything like that," said Lan LaJeunesse of Morgan, the defending world bareback riding champion, who feels the movie's big-hatted romance is an affront to rodeo contestants. "That's not what cowboys are about."

   In Wyoming, where the state symbol is a bronco rider and gay rights have been a sensitive issue since Matthew Shepard was murdered in Laramie in 1998, opinion over "Brokeback Mountain" appears split along similar lines.

             Ben Clark, a fourth-generation rancher, saw "Brokeback Mountain" at its Dec. 10 premiere in Jackson, Wyo., where it earned a standing ovation. Clark grew up outside Jackson and felt so lonely as a gay youth that he considered suicide. He moved to Southern California in his 20s, came out as a gay man and eventually returned to Jackson, where he raises quarter horses.

              "I loved the film," said Clark, 42. "It's the kind of movie that everybody, especially straight people, need to see to understand the culture we grew up in and what we go through."

            On the other side of the fence is Rick Makris, a part-time rancher from Evanston, Wyo., who believes the movie will harm the state's image.

             "I ain't got nothing against gay people. But Wyoming is not the place to make a gay movie about cowboys. I think it's a slap in the face," he said this week outside an Evanston ranch-supply store. "It's almost like they're making Wyoming a gay state." 

             Not surprisingly, Makris doesn't plan to see the movie. "It's not for me," he said. "I'd rather go see 'King Kong.' ''

 

31 December 2005 Saturday

I went and saw Broke Back Mountain at the Broadway Theater at noon. It was packed for a 12:30 pm showing. The theater was filled with half straight people and half Gay folks, mostly male. I went by myself and afterwards was an emotional wreck and was doing my best to keep from bawling as I think others were.

While the experiences of those two cowboys was not mine I know so many here in Utah can relate and also Mike Romero is from Rawlins. When I met him 12 years ago  he was such an handsome cowboy living in Rock Springs.

Afterwards I came home to feed the dogs and went to bed early. So Happy New Years to me.

I wrote today, “The Utah Hyde Park Forum is now unmoderated for members, so watch what you say, because it will go out immediately to everyone. I changed the settings so that only new members who post will be monitored and then only to make sure unwanted porno isn't being sent out to the group.

Any one joining the group simply to solicit for commercial sexual products will be banned. So sick of some always equating Gayness with just sexuality... Happy New Years and may your days always be Gay. Ben Williams Class of 69.”

So another year has gone by when I am 54 years old and well into middle age. My life seems so bland right now and I know I spent more time recording events in the Gay community and that of my friends than on my own life. So many occasions I wrote nothing, including my birthday and leaving Orchard Elementary after 16 years. The only real journaling was when I helped Mom moved from Palmdale, California to Las Vegas and that was minimal.

This year has shown me how far apart Mike Romero and I have grown so much so that I hardly wrote a thing about us or any friends. The Giles next door  are probably our closest friends and Randy has not been well since he was attacked while working for Renta-Center.

I know Mike is looking for another boyfriend and I don’t really much care but it makes me sad that things are ending and I worry what will happen to the pups and the house if we break up.

This year has been a learning curve for me. After leaving Orchard Elementary last June, I knew there would be so many changes that I think I was over whelmed. them. Beyond learning a new a new school layout at Washington Elementary, the requirements of a new and strict principal, the quirks of a new faculty  and staff,  as well as learning a new curriculum for being at a Title one School which had its own challenges.

I was used to higher achievement among my students  at Orchard, even if they were entitled by their often obnoxious Mormon parents. I had to adjust my teaching style and material content to reflect the new reality of being here at Washington.

I was hired primarily by the insistence of Dorothy Pratt this eccentric 70 years or older 5^th grade teacher. I started school with having 35 students and at times even more. That was difficult because of the lack of books, supplies, and desks for everyone. I having  Shari Hanni as an aide was a boon and she soon figured out I was Gay because of her Gay cousin. She was really supportive and it helped having someone I could trust and rely on.

Juggling time slots to accommodate the Title One Tutors was a pain as that their morning schedules was extremely difficult for me since almost all of my prep time is in the morning.

My 5^th Grade team has been interesting. I feel besides coordinating  my own class schedule, I was also having to organize Dorothy Pratt’s. She was so old school and I think so over whelmed with the new reality that she just disregarded it all and taught the way she had since the 1960’s. All the new technologies, especially the computers was lost on her. I felt responsible to help by carrying her load since she has been totally supportive of me and made my transitioning to Washington easier.

Our principal requires weekly “Collaborative Team Meetings” which were sporadic primarily because we weren’t sure what we were supposed to be discussing  and documenting. But since it was required we document student progress, It felt as one more thing to take up our planning time on Fridays.

So being a Title One elementary school has added on to me the additional pressure of becoming a “highly qualified teacher” and additional requirement  for which I harbor resentment. I will have to pay to take an examination of my knowledge next year because of the No Child Left Behind legislation.

Mostly this year I was adapting, changing, discarding, and renewing my teaching strategies. I am trying to make sure that my students still have a well-rounded education in the arts, physical education as well as in the academics under the rigors of Bush’s No Child Left Behind. I created a song book of popular folk songs for the kids as well as still teaching my skits, The Animals First Thanksgiving and the Bell Who Couldn’t Ring. This coming spring we will do the two act play, The Ghost of Plymouth Castle.

One of the more valuable tools I bought into this school year is the ILS program and I wish I would have implemented it sooner. I need more training on creating math strands and how to evaluate the data, but the time I spent with students  in Success Maker is quality time. I was skeptical at first primarily when I heard that we had to implement it on just the computers we had in our classroom of which I had only three for 35 students. But with the extra computer lab, which was set up last November, the 20 minutes we are in there as a class is very manageable and effective. Carrie Harward in the lab assistant and her son is in my class.

I see the value of collecting data  on students to target  and address specific skills that are lacking. I need to find easier formats so I don’t obsess with collecting data at the expense of having time to prepare  lessons and teach.

I have also bought  totally into the Accelerated Reading  program where at Orchard it was only half-heartedly implanted at best. When I was first told that I had to schedule 30 minutes every morning for the DEAR program, “Drop Everything and Read”, I was hesitant thinking it was a waste but I was astounded that here it actually worked because the kids are trained since first grade that this is what is done.

I need to learn some more strategies on how to keep students on task reading however and not visit with each other during the reading time. If I am focused on one student,  then often some in the class uses it as an opportunity to visit.

I have had several consistent adult volunteers, like Kim Burningham and his wife,  who come and read with the students, which is so helpful.

So my new year resolution is to keep a better account of my life in 2006 of what ever the year brings, good or bad.