Autumn 4th Quarter Journal 2015 October-December

 

OCTOBER

1 October 2015 Thursday

Happy October ...Bring in the harvest... before you know it there will be frost on the pumpkins. I love October... Its Gay History Month, Its National Coming Out Day and its Halloween. It will time to start putting away the shorts and bringing out the sweaters, watch fall season television, stop mowing the grass so much and watering, putting the flower beds to rest, pulling up the vegetable garden, making more soups less salads, baking breads and enjoying cooler nights and colorful days. Went to the a session of the Utah State History Conference this morning at 9:00 a.m. Now that is dedication. It was held at the Rio Grande and was on how to submit articles for the Utah History Quarterly Magazine... There was about 15 people there... all women and me and most of them were little old Mormon women researching pioneer Mormon women diaries but none fainted when I said I am researching and preserving information for the Utah Stonewall Historical Society for Gay and Lesbian Studies... I baked two loaves of banana bread yesterday and today I am baking two loaves of sugar free banana bread for Monday's Gay Men Aloud meeting. My motto is when Gay men meet they should eat... I am done with this Pope and Kim Davis. Both he and Davis believe that God has a different standard for Gay people than he does with straights. He basically said to her it’s okay to treat people unequally and ignore the US Constitution's 14th Amendment if you do it for your religion... I am okay with that as long as you are willing to face the consequences of breaking the law and willing to stay in jail for your prejudices... I didn't hear Pope Frankie say to her Do unto others as you would have done to you. He basically said Do unto others unless they are Gay as you would have done unto you. If Davis does believe same sex marriage is a sin then why doesn't she believe that God can forgive that "sin" as well as her own adultery? Paul taught all sin is sin with none being more egregious than another. I guess the passage for the disciples of Christ to judge not less ye be judged doesn't apply to the political self-righteous. America's killing fields this time in Roseburg, Oregon...We have come complacent to horror because of White Men fear of minorities and losing privilege status in America... One of the main argument for the 2nd Amendment was from the Southern Representatives who wanted militias to keep slaves from revolting in a time there was no standing army or navy as today. Only a rifle or gun should be as regulated as owning a car...that does not make it illegal just regulated...No one needs an arsenal or assault weapons for hunting or even home security... Look up the definition of "Assault". White American families should be worried more about their own sons' obsession with violence than with African Americans, Mexican immigration, Muslims, Women's reproduction rights, and Gay people. We aren't the ones terrorizing other Americans. The mass murder of people is primarily the work of white young men who have easy access to weapons of mass destruction...  I got a letter from Kyle today dated the 28 September. That is pretty fast. He sent me a copy of the survey he filled out for UPAN about his matrix and how much time he has actually served. And a letter he sent to the Legislative Audit Committee. He asked if I could send him money for his birthday and Christmas early so I will.

·         Craig Hunter The city I was born in and 2 hours North of where I live.

·         Edgar Ben Williams I am sorry to hear your hometown has this awful crime.

·         Charline Wachs Another sad day

·         Craig Hunter Ben, Roseburg is mainly a low income community where a lot of people cannot find jobs. The people tend to be really nice but with a lack of jobs the crime rate has been high for many years.

·         Ann Clark I might have to get your recipe. My daughter has to make some at home for cooking class.

·         Edgar Ben Williams I don't have a recipe per se... but a basic one loaf is two really ripe bananas... Must have brown sugar spots on the peel. Black peels are too ripe. mash them with about 3/4 to 1 cup of sugar. The sugar starts breaking the bananas down...Add 1/2 cup oil, 1 or two eggs depending on how rich you want it... tsp of vanilla [optional] combine all of that by hand mixing well ...don’t use beaters. Add 2 cups flour, 1 tsp of Baking powder, 1 /2 tsp baking soda, 1/2 tsp of Salt... [use can add cinnamon or nutmeg or all spice also and throw in a half cup of chopped walnuts is you want] Stir it all together until well mixed ... pour into an oiled or sprayed bread pan and bake 375 degrees for about 1 hr. and 10 minutes... check after 55 minutes... may be brown on stop and doughy in middle so check with toothpick which should come out clean.. Cool slightly then empty on to a wire rack to cool completely... If you leave in pan the bottom can get a little soggy...

·         Ann Clark Nice, thank you so much!

·         Courtney Moser Petunia Pap Smear - I'm planning on coming to the meeting on Monday. Are we supposed to bring snacks?

·         Edgar Ben Williams Nope the refreshment committee provides the snacks... smile emoticon but you can always be part of the refreshment ladies auxiliary ( that's not what it's called...Charles thinks I am channeling relief society as it is) ... Lol is a craft night too much? Hahaha

·         Courtney Moser Glass grapes! Please, please, please.......

·         Erick Myers ...and DRINK! smile emoticon

·         Edgar Ben Williams Have glue gun will travel

·         Bill Poore So a new vet at the pool who had a stroke in Feb was a guard at the Dagget County jail where Kyle 1  briefly until his peanuts got him moved back to the big house in Gunnison.

·         Me-What was his name and I will ask Kyle if he remembers him...It was a very small facility

·         Bill, Not sure what his name is, it is like Charles or something.  I will ask him tomorrow or before you go to visit Kyle 1 again.  He is a classic small town guy, three boats, hunter, fisherman, He really has worked hard to recover from a very bad stroke....It is very difficult for him to be in SLC, no car, living at the housing at the VA.....no real family.  He is a nice guy, totally opposite of most of my views but we get along, small town values.

·         Me- I am sure he wants to be home

·         Bill He does, he has a small house, trucks boats close to Flaming Gorge. He seems really lost.

·         Me-Who wouldn't be... no family to take care or visit him I suppose

·         Benedgar I looked up this Prince Kin Mi fellow and he does not live in Utah but says he's a dean at Harvard...I say no because the FB page should only be for those who are actually planning on attending meetings

·         Kent I looked at it too and that he was a troll.

·         Charles Lynn A rich Harvard Troll? Will you (Ben) be tabulating the FB voting and prioritizing them for the meeting Monday? I wonder if we should print a few of the entire list off, for those who don't have Facebook? Just a suggestion. Also, based upon the Graham Norton article I posted, i think a lot in the group would like to have that be a topic of general discussion some night. Could you please add it to the list? Thank you.

·         Benedgar Do you have a list of email addresses to remind people of Monday's meeting?

·         Kent I have a few e-mail addresses I will forward to you Ben. My laptop is officially dead or I would send the e-mail. Here they are: jam28619@hotmail.com, cmorgan55@hotmail.com, I just got back from Dr. Christensen's office and my eyes are dilated but I'm sure these are correct.

·         Benedgar Okay ... Just rest your eyes. I just got off the phone with Walt Larabee and he's excited about attending...he does not have a computer at all so a phone call will be necessary for him... Charles I said either you or I could pick him up... I am taking Chuck Whyte and perhaps Tom Shuemake if he can't find a ride... I will have to put the back seat up anyway but let me know if you are taking Walt or I... I said I or you would call him 1 801 LDS STAR... I think Walt will be a great addition

·         Charles Lynn I AGREE. I will call Walt on Monday.

·         Maggie Snyder Ahhh the historian for the historians...that's you my dear.  Thank you for attending last evening. It was good to see you and Chuck. Thank you for the video and your kind words on fb. Love and Hugs to you!!!

·         Benedgar You are most welcome... If I am not at the symposium tomorrow its only because the Utah State History Conference is also tomorrow and they have elected to honor me with an award for preserving our history. The most important part for me is not the award but that the state of Utah finally recognizes that Gays and Lesbians have a history in Utah... I will try to be up there at the U...  Love you both a bunch...PS I am dragging Chuck off to it also so he can have a free lunch LOL

·         Maggie Congratulations. I agree. It's time LGBT history is recognized in Utah. You are the History Man!

 

2 October 2015 Friday

Okay I am going to give this Pope a benefit of a doubt and do a couple of Mea Culpas but he just better watch his step if he wants the Ben Williams stamp of approval.... Someone better clue him in that no one is against heterosexuals marrying and raising babies ... But there are plenty against homosexuals marrying and raising babies... Loving Gay homes are a 100 percent better than Catholic orphanages with babies being raised by nuns... How is that natural? It’s going to be a busy fall day... Had some rain over night and leaves are coming down...I had an early morning doctor check up on my blood sugars and my doctor was really pleased and I was surprised. My last visit at the end of July my A1c level was 9.7 and today it was 6.7... It’s never supposed to be higher than 7.0. I never had it down below 7 before. I guess testing twice a day and giving me injections twice a day and working hard in the yard paid off. All my other labs showed that I was as healthy as a horse... but my weight went up 5lbs... go figure... At noon I will be at a luncheon for the Utah State History Conference where I will be presented a recognition for recording and preserving Gay history in Utah... What I am most excited about is not the personal recognition but that Utah finally acknowledges that we Gay Folks are a minority with a history. Thirty years ago Utah refused to even accept that we had a community let alone that we had a culture and history. I think it's ironic that Utah is finally accepting us as a community while many in the LGBT movement is trying to dismantle our history or that we were ever a community...I took Chuck Whyte with me to the State History Conference where I received an award for preserving 30 years of Gay history... I was a fairly young man back then lol... I was humbled by the lengthy acknowledgement of my good deeds at the presentation and made me think is this me they are talking about 😊I told the director afterwards that I felt honored that a Utah finally recognizes that we are a people with a history...Back in 1993 when I was the archivist at the old Utah Stonewall Center I was contacted by the law firm of Wyoming lawyer Jerry Spense famous for winning the Karen Silkwood case. The were representing the family of a Utah County woman who had died of AIDS contracted from a blood transfusion in 1984... The family claimed the state did not do enough to inform the Gay community about donating blood. The state responded saying they were not liable because there were no Gay communities in Utah to contact. The firm asked if the archives had any records documenting any existence of a Gay community in Utah...I mailed off to the law firm extra copies of all the various Gay newspapers and organization newsletter from the 1970s to show we had a vibrant community back then... I heard the state settled out of court... Over 30 years ago state officials didn't even recognized we existed but today I was given an award for preserving the history of the community that supposedly did not exist. Oh Pioneers! “State History honored Ben Williams with its Outstanding Contribution in History Award today. Ben Williams has single-handedly documented and preserved the history of Utah’s LGBT communities for over 30 years. As State History celebrates the many voices in Utah’s multicultural past, acknowledging the past of Utah’s gay community is important. Williams had the foresight to keep primary sources such as photographs, newspapers, letters, minutes from meetings, and oral histories pertaining to the gay and lesbian community in Salt Lake City. Without Williams’ efforts, most of the LGBT community’s written, photographic and oral histories would not exist.

·         Greg Allen I love you and our gay elder pioneers! Surely the state wished there to be no gay community, but you wouldn't be silenced.”

·         Douglas Cartier Congrats!

·         Tracy L Johnson-Faulkner Congratulations Edgar Ben Williams!

·         Stephen Bolinder So awesome dear friend.

·         Todd Markham Congrats, Ben!!!

·         J Seth Anderson You didn't stay for my presentation! And I even mentioned you smile emoticon

·         Edgar Ben Williams Sorry had to get Chuck home... Saw Connell there for moral support

·         Connell O'Donovan I'm so proud of you!!!!

·          Andy Dalrymple Awesome Sauce ! Greg Tracie Aviary Hardin A well-deserved honor, congratulations Edgar Ben Williams. Hugs! The history you share is very dear to me.

·         Jimmy Hamamoto Whoo whoo!

·         Denise Wachs You're awesome Uncle Ben

·         Ruadhan O'Sheridan Connell O'Donovan told me about your award tonight and I was so pleased for you. Congratulations for the work you have done and I hope you continue to do some amazing new, and even pioneering, work in your mundane retirement. As you have been since I stumbled my way into this community, you are an elder and source of history and wisdom. I am so proud that you are my friend.

·         Bill Poore Hat and sport coat, you are such a fashion trendsetter

·         Frances Griess Way to go Ben

·         James Dabakis Couldn't be more proud. Ben is a quiet hero for the LGBT community--gathering and keeping the fragments that will tell our story for 500 years. And a special salute to the Utah History Conference for their fair and equitable treatment for all Utah history! .

·         Richard P. Butler Ben you amaze me sometimes. Congrats and relish your glory you deserve it!

 

3 October 2015 Saturday

Feeling rather peckish I woke up at 4 am and tested my blood sugars...it was down to 64 so I drank some milk and oatmeal cookies and went back to bed. I don't think I ever had it that low since I've been testing... I felt okay just a gnawing... The morning was fun and in the afternoon Mike came over to help me move the garage shelf out back but it was too big to fit so took a buzz saw to chop it down in size and I have all my fingers and limbs...then we went and down to Midvale to pick up my new hot tub cover... Palomino tan...looks so nice... My Roku box was so out of date ...nearly 10 years. So Mike went with me to buy a new set up and got it going for me...so it was a busy day this damp but pretty fall day... After Mike left I hauled the shelf out the back by myself and then blew all the leaves off the deck and out of the garage...

 

4 October 2015 Sunday

I held a planning at 1 pm with Alan Anderson, and Kent Scadlock to go over the Maturity notes for tomorrows GMA... Charles sent some instructions that he wanted us to talk about. Afterwards I had Sunday dinner for them Meatloaf, cheesy potatoes, squash, apple pie...

·         Joni Weiss -Hi Ben, I have been researching... trying to find information about a childhood best friend. I just realized that you knew him. Scott Spinks was my very best friend in the 7th & 8th grade, and I regret losing track of him when I went on to go to Judge Memorial HS for the 9th grade while he continued at Lincoln Jr High School and went on to South HS. Anyway I learned of his passing from a woman who helped care for him at the end (can't remember her name now but she was the younger sister of one of the girls Scott and I hung out with back then). She found me from an article in the trib about a panel I was on about being Trans and contacted me through the Pride Center... now I've lost track of her as well.  Now I'm missing him and wanting to learn as much as I can about him. Can you help? Would you be willing to help me find people who  were important to him? I would appreciate any help I can get. Thanks! Joni Weiss 801-884-7450 lotusheartgirl@gmail.com

·         Me-Scott joined the Sacred Faeries and was known as Jasper Nightshade... We were intimate and was a sweet man.  He died of AIDS in the early 1990s ... I will send you want I have in my journals and archives ... I think the Sacred Faeries helped in on his spiritual journey...I only knew him about a year before he died...

·         Joni-Thank you Ben. I am so grateful. I'm so sorry he is gone. I knew him as sweet, playful, and funny. We were intimate - he was my first lover/friend. And thank you for your service to the community with your blogs. Your writings of him are the only accounts of him I have ever been able to find. Thank you thank you. If I can ever buy you a beer or a cup of coffee, I would love to do so smile emoticon

·         Me- We were a smaller community back then and if people were involved with the things I was I usually have a record of them... I also kept a record of all the people who died of AIDS back then.. It's my moral responsibility to keep a record of them since for whatever reason I was spared when friends and lovers were not

·         Joni-I have a much better appreciation for what you just said after having been in this community for my short 8 years. I am deeply indebted to you and everyone else who made things happen while I was too afraid to come out. Anyway. thank you Ben. I would love sometime to share some stories of some happy times I had with Scott back in the late 60's into 1970.

·         Me-11 December 1990 Anyway this guy named Scott Spinks called me about 8:00 on the date line and wanted to come over and I said sure.  He was a nice enough guy and we hit it off so we went into the bedroom. Later as he was leaving, he noticed a book on magic that I had left out and he asked me about it. I told him about the Faerie Circle and he wanted to know more about it so I gave him some information about the Yule celebration. He gave me his phone number so I could call him about having his medicine cards read. 18 December 1990 Tuesday Scott Spinks came over about 5 for his Medicine Card reading. He had many of the same cards as I do, weasel, ant, badger, and Bear. His others were Swan, Hawk, lizard, Linx and Bat.  Scott is a nice man. His Faerie name is Jasper Night Shade. I wonder if anything can develop between us? We went to bed after the reading and fooled around and then just laid in bed together, cuddling and visiting.  If he can make me laugh, if he can challenge my head, if he can get a hold of my heart; if. For the moment, I will enjoy where I am at. Bianca called yesterday and said that she'll be at the Yule Celebration David Sharpton called me tonight and we visited a while. He's turning ACT UP over to others.  He's home from the hospital but very weak. He’s got retinitis in his eyes and he's still losing weight.  He said that he's tired of fighting against the bureaucracy and its killing him as much as the disease.  I'm afraid that we are losing David this time.  I told him that I loved him and that the circle will turn again someday for us. 22 December 1990 Saturday About 6:30 in the evening Scott Spinks arrived followed by Fuku and Mark Angus. Bianca called and said she couldn't make it because she had to do a Court show up in Ogden tonight. Anyway I was inspired to give Mark Angus a Faerie name.  He calls his cock Gus Buddy so the Faerie name Asparagus popped into my head.  He loved the name.  I'm also calling John Merrill Dixie-Pixie, because Dixie is his drag name. Scott gave everyone a ride over to Gillian's who was hosting the Yule Celebration.  We were the first to arrive there along with Brynwyn and while we were waiting for the others we decorated the place with paper bells and paper poinsettia’s that my students had made at school. Applestar came without Spirit Dancer because she wasn't feeling well and since Luna never showed, Applestar and Brynwyn were the only women at the gathering.  The men in attendance were Gillian, Fuku, Asparagus, Dixie Pixie. Doug, Griffin (John Crapo), Mark Hanson, Sky Bear, Ron, Jasper Nightshade (Scott Spinks) and myself.  We had about 13 people for the circle. Sky Bear brought Ron Priddis who had never attended a Faerie circle before and Dixie-Pixie brought Doug who also was new. It was a glorious Yule Celebration. We sang Yule Carols, invoked a circle, called upon the Goddess to resurrect the Sun.  I walked the Faeries through a Spiral Meditation and prayed for Peace. I also gave the bread and wine blessing.  We all just had a glorious time. After closing the circle, Jasper Nightshade came in for a little bit after he took me home to warm up a little.  He's a sweet man. 18 December 1991 Wednesday- Trent came over to have his medicine cards read. His main totem was Moose. I don’t know him very well. He’s someone who attends Affirmation and the Youth Group who heard about the Sacred Faeries from a presentation given by Thunder Beam and Homo Erectus a while ago. We went out and delivered Salt and Sages to Randy Wangreen,  Randy Holladay, Tom Henacy, and Jasper Night Shade. Sky Bear was in the newspaper today about his being a part of Queer Nation and being excommunicated from the LDS Church.

·         Me-1996- C. Scott Spinks  born February 19, 1956, to Donna May Spinks Slaugh and Clinton Carl Spinks, left this world peacefully, August 17, 1996, surrounded by loving friends.  Scott will be remembered as a truly caring person with an intense love for life. He will be greatly missed. Thanks to Dr. Kristen Ries and Maggie   Snyder for their continuous support. A Celebration of Life, in honor of Scott, will be held Saturday, August 24, at 1313 South 1300 East, S.L.C. Friends may call between 4-7 p.m. In lieu of flowers donations may be made, in Scott's memory, to the AIDS Foundation. [My comment-He was a member of the Sacred Faeries known as Jasper Nightshade]

·         Me-Social Security death records list him as Clinton S Spinks born 19 Feb 1956 in SLC with last residence SLC. Find a grave lists him as Scott P Spinks born Valentine Day 14 Feb 1956 and died 17 August 1996. He is buried in Miner Basin Cemetery in Moab Utah. There are only 8 graves in that cemetery. 3 of them are his stepbrothers named Buckingham His only seems to marked with a cross Miner Basin is a Ghost Town. His father died just last May in Moab but his obituary doesn’t mention scott just his stepsons “Clinton Carl Spinks 1927 ~ 2015 - One of Moab’s finest old honky tonk musicians passed into  picker heaven on Thursday, May 21, at his home. Born May 9, 1927, in Haskell, Texas, Clint later moved to California. He lived for a time in the Salt Lake City area where he worked at Hill Air Force Base before relocating to Moab.  Clinton Spinks 1927 ~ 2015 - I was asked to write something on behalf of Clinton Spinks’... I was asked to write something on behalf of Clinton Spinks’ biological children, and I proudly accepted this honor, with the same pride I had when I graduated from Boot Camp. I married his oldest child, Tamara Spinks Madland, in 1965, and Clint was married to the second of five wives.

·         Joni Your journal entries are beautiful. Thank you for sharing this with me. Brings back some of my own memories of Scott. I never met his siblings but one day we hung out in his older brother's bedroom, listened to the Moody blues and tried smoking pot(the brothers) for the first time. Neither of us liked out at the time. His mom was an alcoholic as was mine.

 

5 October 2015 Monday

This afternoon while I was running around doing errands, I went up to 1st Baptist and gave Dennis McCracken a donation of $100. It was the $100 bill that Devon’s mom gave me a year ago. Had our first official Gay Men Allowed meeting and we had 41 men show up! Charles let the meeting on Maturity and broke us up into three groups but I think it would have better with four. Charles spent the last half of the meeting tying into his laptop what people had said in each group. I thought that was rather weird. A couple of things.

·         Kent Scadlock Ben, thanks again for Sunday Dinner yesterday. As always, it was lovely! I really appreciate all your hard work. Thanks both you and Alan for tonight. I thought it was a successful discussion; even though we could have used more time. You all are da best!! Well, Sirs. I thought that went well. To go from 35 to 41 is impressive. I did get some feedback, positive and some constructive, so I think it might be a good idea to have a debrief this week. Thoughts?

·         Me- Like I said the discussions are just an excuse to get together... we aren't a conference LOL kiki emoticon

·         Benedgar Set the time and place with Charles and I will be there

·         Kent Sounds good. Mornings or evenings work best for me any day. Charles, how about you?

·         Charles Lynn I also thought it went well, and I got feedback as well. I can meet evenings, preferably earlier evening, since I work evenings this week, and have very little time with Doug before I leave for work at 9pm and he goes to bed at the same time. A later afternoon gathering is best for me, say 4:30 or 5:00 and I can stay for 1 hour. I have to juggle work, sleep, Cash, Doug,--but am more than willing to meet. I had to address the Homo Evening--because (Charles) was so adamant about Homo Teachers. It wasn't the Homo word that bothered him but the Teachers part, which gives him all sorts of triggers about bad past Mormonism. Oh well, work it out buddy!! : ) Some can use Triad others told me "fuck it, I love Homo Teachers, and am going to use it, and will encourage those in my triad to use it." Soooo...whomever we put Charles and his partner with, will have to comply to his request and not use Homo Teachers EVER. He was quite firm with me, that's why I addressed it tonight rather than on FB, or next meeting. Thurs. or Fri. work best for me this week. I start nights tonight, so Tuesdays are a drag ass day (hard to get back into the routine shit, because I am OLD and MATURE! LOL. Wednesday I already have a meeting late afternoon with DOH. Let me know which one works for both of you. Time was the biggest comment I got, confusion with the event posting, and having to end the discussion in 1 hour. We need to clarify that better. Some said why not 90 minutes, others said they were very glad that we started with 1 hour, because it doesn't take up their whole evening. Tom Gosse, Lyle Larsen, and Michael Sanders all have much praise to offer, so they were newcomers. David Andreason called "it a bit rusty, but we'll get it figured out." I thought fuck you, go to a Big gay gala and take your photographs. That pissed me off. Thanks to you two for facilitating the small groups. Ben will you reach out and thank Alan on behalf of the three of us please? I thought it went well, and we will get it down to a system, but like we've all said, we need to be open to letting it morph how it NEEDS to evolve. Goodnight gentlemen, a pleasure working with both of you. Thanks Kent for setting up, so kind of you. CLF

·         Benedgar Done

·         Kent I got the same feedback from Mr. Andreason.  I told him to relax and that we're just getting our sea legs. Should we say 4:30 Thursday at the SL Roasting Company?

·         Benedgar yep works for me

·         Kent Great!

·         Charles Lynn Great

·         Kent Perfect! See you then. Thanks again to you two!!!

·         Benedgar As of tonight we have $70 in the cigar box... Kent and thought we take some of that money and buy small bottles of water for the 19th since we won't have access to the cultural hall that night ... I can chill them in my frig in the garage

·         Charles Lynn Don't we have a big picnic/camping type cooler with a spout we could use? Fill with Ice and water and bring that? Could save money? I'd vote we spend some of the money to send you to a Facebook Rehab Facility, with an emphasis on "over-posting!"

·         Kent Love it!! I'll buy the water as my donation that week!

·         Benedgar I don't have one... And I would be happy to turn the posts over to you

·         Kent I think water bottles work better if we are near the chapel. Just my thought. Rehab is another topic.

·         Charles Lynn Little Bitch! You decide what you want to do Kent. We'll support whatever that is. We do have to talk about "BRAND" again on Thursday.

·         Kent Hey! Keep the name calling to a minimum!

·         Charles Lynn Was meant for Ben, not you.

·         Kent LOL

·         Benedgar I think bottles are better too and cleaner for just that day

·         Kent Agreed! Thank you both for letting me be a part of this movement.

·         Charles Lynn You balance us all out. Thanks for wanting to be part of it.

·         Doug Murri-Ben, is Great Basin Bad Boys page gone? I just tried to find it, and it won't come up.

·         Me-Its history ... Charles and I moved on to create a Gay men's support group called Gay Men Aloud and no one was willing to take over the administration of it...  Sorry

·         Doug No problem. I totally understand. I just hadn't heard anything about it. Thanks for all you both did.

·         Dear Kyle, Happy October ...Bring in the harvest... before you know it there will be frost on the pumpkins. I love October... Its Gay History Month, Its National Coming Out Day, its Halloween and it was the month that you came into this world. Soon it will time to start putting away the shorts and bringing out the sweaters, watch fall season television, stop mowing the grass so much and watering, putting the flower beds to rest, pulling up the vegetable garden, making more soups less salads, baking breads and enjoying cooler nights and colorful days. Well I received your later dated the 28th  on October 2nd  which seemed rather fast for the most of the posts I get from you. I swear someone could walk the distance and hand deliver it to me faster  than the 8 days it usually takes.   But I will put it with the rest of your letters. I would have written sooner but it’s been busy here this past weekend but  I did send you $200 which should be on your accounts by the time you read this letter.  Your birthday is on a Saturday this time so not foreseeing anything that would prevent me coming down I should see you on your birthday unlike last year. The weather  here has finally gone from Summer to Fall.  The last of September it was in the high 80’s and low 90’s but it’s now in the mid 70’s and high 60’s. The leaves are starting to drop so it’s a daily chore now to blow the leaves off the deck. Why is it that this morning I can whip up two banana bread loaves in 15 minutes and then bake them in 1 hour while it takes me two days to put in a doggy door?  My dad and you would have had it in within a half an hour. The one you put in had the flap all torn to hell so I bought one similar but aluminum so it will last as long as the house now but the frame was slightly larger so I had to cut the base board. I jig sawed and drilled even though the hole was cut by Randy Gile 10 years ago.  DNA says I am my father’s son but you couldn't prove it otherwise. I bought a new cover for the hot tub. Had it made and its much lighter and sturdier than the old one. It’s a tangerine tan kind of color they called Palomino… It looks really nice and complements the cedar fencing I had put around the back half of the deck.  It will support 200 lbs.  so if all the hounds lay on it they can’t  damage it. I am still getting yellow squash and tomatoes from the garden. The big beef steak ones are finally ripening. I have been giving tomatoes and squash away since  the end of July.  But when we have the first frost that will be the end of them. Next year I want to plant cantaloupe, corn, and pumpkins in the backyard. Well that’s all for next year… time to put yard work away for a while. I have a squirrel in my back yard now that lives in the trees and I get to watch jump from limb to limb.  I bought a bag of unsalted shelled peanuts that I throw up onto the Hot Tub Roof and he gathers them up. I need to  get him fat for winter. I’ve been doing some changes in the garage too. I took down the shelf  that  was on the north west  wall … took the buzz saw and cut off the legs and moved in to the back yard against the house under the deck to store gardening tools and such. I mainly moved it out so that Mike can park his truck in the garage for the winter.  His is too big for his garage at his townhouse so when winter gets here and he’ll take the little Sonoma to work during the week which fits easily within his space.  No one wants to be scrapping off ice or snow especially as early as he has to go to work and bring Coco over.  He bought the bigger truck to haul his camper around but that season is over too.    Well  LDS Conference is over and a fourth of the Mormon Apostles were replaced.  It was the first time since 1906 that three new apostles joined the Quorum with Raslund being the 100th Apostle since Joseph Smith’s started the Governing Board.  Surprise surprise all white Utah men. Well God loves white people the most  to entrust  building up the riches of the kingdom don’t you know. I know you like me do not follow football but I saw a meme posted that said, “an Aggies  and two Utes  chosen as new Mormon Apostles BYU left out of the Big Twelve Again!”  I didn’t get it at first but all my football fag friends thought it hilarious.  I guess none of the new GA’s are alumni of BYU and the 12 is also a football conference. Who knew?  Certainly Not me. The Wall Street Journal wrote just prior to the announcement  “The church now has more members outside the U.S. than in, and like the Roman Catholic Church, it is seeing major growth among Hispanics. Of the world’s 15 million Mormons, 8 million live outside the U.S., and nearly 4 million live in South America, according to church statistics. “If all three of them [the new apostles] are white Americans there will be a pretty significant chunk of the church that will be disappointed in that, frankly, and will see this as a missed opportunity,” Mr. Mason said.”  Well Mormons outside of Utah are used to living with disappointment LOL. The same article said, “Mormons only make up 1.6% of the U.S. population, according to the latest figures from Pew Research Center.”   It appears to me that Utah Mormons have really inflated sense of importance and entitlement. The three guys are- Ronald Rasbund was born in Salt Lake City, Utah February 6, 1951 and is just two months older than me. His is a “successful businessman” and was a former CEO of Huntsman Chemical Corporation.  Gary E. Stevenson  is 60-year-old  [1955] and is presiding bishop of the LDS church. Another businessman he co-founded and served as president  Weslo, Inc., He sold the business in 1988 and in 1994 was bought vulture capitalist Mitt Romney's Bain renamed the business Icon Health and Fitness, Inc. and at the end of this month this year will lay off 400 people or more in Logan and move jobs overseas.  Dr. Dale Renlund  is a 62 year old cardiologist specializing in heart failure and heart transplantation. I suppose the octogenarian in the Quorum are happy with his appointment.  He was born in Salt Lake City also. I did some snooping out of curiosity and found out that  six of the 4 the Apostles and 2 of the 1st Presidency live in Davis County four out of the six live within the boundaries of my old elementary school Orchard. LOL No wonder I wanted to move to Washington Elem a title one school in Bountiful.  Dallin H. Oaks and Dieter Uchtdorf  live across the street from each other  at Aerie Circle in North Salt Lake across from  the Eaglewood Golf Course. Robert Hale and David Bednar live next door to each other at Eagle Way in NSL .  Henry Erying lives on Chokecherry Drive in Bountiful off of Mueller Park. Neil L. Andersen  lives at Fairway Circle in Bountiful just south of Bountiful Boulevard.   I guess South Davis is more Holy than Utah County LOL Well enough of that nonsense.  I received my early retirement stipend from Davis School District finally on Saturday and I am going to deposit it today and as soon as it clears I will pay off the Cruiser and the two visa cards that I still have that I used to finance the Orgy.Com debt  and then I will be completely out of debt except for my mortgage payment.  That will be such a gigantic relief being out of any debt now that I am on a fixed income knowing that I will be able to afford to provide for myself and the pups without worry for what is left of our lives.  It’s taken four year but now that burden is lifted.  The truck, the car, the credit card debt all eliminated and I have a beautiful deck and hot tub and fire pit to enjoy in my final years.  I had some friends over for dinner yesterday to discuss Gay Men Aloud that is tonight and we were talking about our retirements and I said that traveling and expensive dinners don’t mean a thing to me but  having people over to visit and discuss ideas and friendships mean more to me than any place I could roam. I fixed a meatloaf, cheesy potatoes, summer squash from the garden and green beans with bacon for Sunday dinner. I even made a big homemade apple pie which if I do say so myself was delicious. Last  Wednesday September 30th took Chuck with me up to the dedication of an HIV special archive Collection named for Dr. Kristin Reis and Maggie Snyder up in the Marriott Library at the University of Utah.  I wanted to see them get honored because the big Law School AIDS Symposium that was being held in their honor on October 2 I wasn’t able to attend because of my own award being presented the same day and time by the Office of Utah State History… I thought they would call off our names and then give us a certificate but instead they called me up and Gregory Thompson  Chair of the Utah Division of State History read off this litany of good deed and accomplishments that I thought is he talking about me? I must be important LOL.  He went on to say I preserved 30 years of LGBTQ history [I hate that acronym] “often at  great risk and peril to himself.”  I was touch at that point that someone finally acknowledged all that we went through back then of coming out and being Gay activists.   This a portion of what they posted about me on their State History Page- “State History honored Ben Williams with its Outstanding Contribution in History Award today. Ben Williams has single-handedly documented and preserved the history of Utah’s LGBT communities for over 30 years. As State History celebrates the many voices in Utah’s multicultural past, acknowledging the past of Utah’s gay community is important. Williams had the foresight to keep primary sources such as photographs, newspapers, letters, minutes from meetings, and oral histories pertaining to the gay and lesbian community in Salt Lake City. Without Williams’ efforts, most of the LGBT community’s written, photographic and oral histories would not exist.” After receiving the recognition I spoke with Thompson and thanked him but said the award is more about the Gay community than myself. I told him that back in 1993 when I was the archivist at the old Utah Stonewall Center I was contacted by the law firm of Wyoming lawyer Jerry Spense [famous for winning the Karen Silkwood case]. They were representing the family of a Utah County woman who had died of AIDS contracted from a blood transfusion in 1984... The family claimed the state did not do enough to inform the Gay community about donating blood. The state responded saying they were not liable because there were no Gay communities in Utah to contact. The firm asked if the archives had any records documenting any existence of a Gay community in Utah...I mailed off to the law firm extra copies of all the various Gay newspapers and organization newsletter from the 1970s to show we had a vibrant community back then... I heard the state settled out of court... Over 30 years ago state officials didn't even recognized we existed but today I was given an award for preserving the history of the community that supposedly did not exist.  To me that is the significance of the award.  That you and I and all the other Gay people in Utah have a history and that we are recognized as a community whose history is important to Utah.  Perhaps that is why as a 21 year old stranger I came and made Utah my home…May be that is what providence wanted me to do with my life… Not to achieve greatness and riches but be among those special souls who dedicate their lives to preserving histories that would be lost with the death of each generation. Well so much of that that… I went to the doctor’s on October 2 early in the morning for a check up on my diabetes. My doctor was thrilled that I got my A1c blood sugar levels down from 9.8 to 6.7.  They should never be above 7.0 without it damaging something.  So I have been good at watching my blood sugars but I still have to lose 20 lbs. he said ugh.  However last Saturday I was feeling rather peckish and I woke up at 4 am. When I tested my blood sugars...it was down to 64 which is like hypoglycemic so I drank some milk, ate a couple of oatmeal cookies and went back to bed. I don't think I ever had my blood sugars that low since I've been testing... My Roku box I had hooked up to the television was so out of date ...nearly 10 years-so Mike went with me to Best Buys where I bought a new set up and now I am hooked on Amazon Prime Time and Netflix as well as Hulu catching up on old series like Downton Abby that I got to get back in the habit of writing. I have two major projects unfinished and the Utah Historical Quarterly wants me to write an article so need to get discipline again. Okay  so I am going to give this Pope Francis a benefit of a doubt over bat shit crazy Kim Davis and do a couple of Mea Culpas but he just better watch his step if he wants the Ben Williams stamp of approval.... Someone better clue him in that no one is against heterosexuals marrying and raising babies ... But there are plenty against homosexuals marrying and raising babies... Loving Gay homes are a 100 percent better than Catholic orphanages with babies being raised by nuns... How is that natural? You are too young to remember the Catholic Orphanage called St. Anne’s on 21st South and 5th East.  I guess he was blindsided by the conservative Archbishop of Washington DC who set up the meeting.  I guess also he met with an ex-student of his who is Gay and his husband… So who knows what is going on. Michael Ferguson and Seth Anderson are coming back to Utah from November for a little bit to create a “Inclusive Family Conference 2015” in conjunction with the anti-Gay Conference on Families. Well I guess you heard all about the latest massacre this time in Oregon.  We have become so complacent to horror of White young Men’s rampage because they fear of minorities and losing their privilege status in America... One of the main arguments for the 2nd Amendment in 1787 was from the Southern Representatives who wanted militias to keep slaves from revolting in a time there was no standing army or navy as today. We have a standing army today and a national guard for a well-regulated militia. For civilians a rifle or gun should be as regulated as owning a car...that does not make it illegal to own them just regulated... And the father of this killer even exclaimed how did his mentally disturb son come to own 13 weapons? Why does anyone except the extremely paranoid [a mental illness in of itself] needs an arsenal or assault weapons. Does one need automatic weapons for hunting or even home security?  This commentator said “In retrospect Sandy Hook marked the end to the gun control debate. Once America decided that killing children was bearable, it was over.”  That is so true… the cold blood shooting of kindergartners was not horrific enough for America to shake off the death grip of the NRA.  I wish legislators would regulate guns as much as they do  uteruses. Well I guess I will close. I do miss you. But it’s hard to be depressed when dogs snuggle up to you and adore you with their eyes... Last night I was missing someone long time dead now and Lucky came up and laid in my arms and gave me doggy kisses and brought me back to the now and how grateful I am to still be able do some good in this temporary world. As I was and ever shall ever be Your friend Ben

 

6 October 2015 Tuesday

Kind of a Red Letter day for me today. I just came home from paying off all my debts except for my mortgage which is less than most people pay in rent about  $750. My PT Cruiser and Sonoma Truck are all free and clear and remaining balance on my two credit cards are at zero balance. It’s taken a long time to get out of the tax debt by former wife who left me 30 years ago and then the $20,000 credit card fraud that Kyle saddled me with but by living frugally, never miserly, and working hard for the past 28 years I have managed to maintain a modest lifestyle and pay off my creditors. I’ve tried to maintain a Quaker attitude towards the material things of this world and tried to help people along the way. Slow and steady has always been my style because I've only had me all my life to look after me after leaving home. The mother of the man who killed those people in Oregon was an Obama hating wacko Mom ... kindred spirits with that awful woman who mothered the Sandy Hook Terrorist monster... Nutty kids with semi-automatic and assault weapons come from nutty parents with semi-automatic and assault weapons... When are we going to recognize the NRA as the terrorist organization it has become... I fear unhinged deranged paranoid gun stockpilers than I do ISIS and ISIS scares the shit out of me..

·         Alan Anderson I have some bills you can take over.

·         Connell O'Donovan Mazel Tov, sweet man!

·         Greg Tracie Aviary Hardin Travel time!

·         Andy Dalrymple That deserves a Wahoo!

·         Edgar Ben Williams Traveling is the best way I know to rack up debt...

·         Richard P. Butler I have to disagree Ben. Brenda and I travel on great trips every year and I'm still debt free on my credit cards and like you own less on my mortgage payment they must pay for rent. Like you I live a basic, simple life and still use coupons at the store.

·         Edgar Ben Williams My one extravagance I don’t use coupons

·         Richard P. Butler I get them free from Grandpa's Sunday paper.

·         Craig Hunter Stay away from people who have the ability to alter your future for personal financial reasons that can hurt you.

·         Kathy Riser That is a great accomplishment. I hope you celebrate.

·         Kay Campbell They don't make 'em like you anymore. I admire your integrity!

·         Erick Myers Bravo Ben! I know from past experience how difficult it is to have the discipline to get to debt-free status. So, it is INDEED a great accomplishment. Congrats!

·         Teinamarrie Scuderi You can adopt me wink emoticon

·         Richard P. Butler Ben you and I truly think alike. I always try to keep my credit cards paid off and my vehicles free and clear. The mortgage is cheaper then rent and I can cover emergency cost easily. I guess that's why I can retire and live without worry like you. Congrats!!!

·         James Clark I love uncle Jr u r a good man

·         Roland Ron Holmgren You will do well in retirement, Ben. You have and had your priorities straight. But don't forget that unplanned things happen. If we continue to do as you have, you should weather any storms. . And you are a kind, and very giving soul, but use caution. Very happy for you.

·         Edgar Ben Williams Plus I have money in the bank for emergencies... I guess babysitting all those years for the state paid off LOL

·         Roland Ron Holmgren If you not me..

·         Andrea Dahl Congratulations!

·         Jamie Turnbow That's awesome!

·         Dan Fahndrich Awesome.....

·         Steve Woodall It's a very good feeling. Congrats!

·         Deb Rosenberg Mazel Tov! That calls for a toast!

·         Leland Burns Thanks for leading another great and enjoyable Gay Men Aloud meeting tonight. I hope the group can be changed on Facebook to being a secret group.

·         Me-The only people who can see that you belong to this group on your FB page are other members of the group unless they actually go to the GMA FB page and then look to see who are members... I hope that relieves you some if it stays a closed group... It's not that easy to find who belongs to what... If I wanted to know whether someone is a pagan I would either have to belong to the same group or look through  memberships of many pagan groups... If it's an employment issue I know some people create a FB page using a pseudonym .... I am glad you enjoy it...I've looked at your FB page and nowhere that I can see that would indicate you are a member of GM A

·         Thank you for your kind e-mail. You are very nice. It is good to hear that it isn't readily accessible as to what groups I belong to. I am a doctor and value my privacy in the public sector. I like your teddy bear and look forward to seeing you at the next meeting. -Lee.

·         You are quite welcome...I was an elementary school teacher for 28 years until I just retired so I am sensitive to the need to keep one's professional life from a private one...However Gay Men Aloud will only be involved in activities that  are affirming... What people do outside of the group is none of my business smile emoticon Thank you for adding to the group... we are family

 

7 October 2015 Wednesday

Time to call it a day... A busy day... My snap dragons, petunias, and I love this cooler fall weather. Dropped off laminated posters of Utah's Gay history that I had made in 2003 for Pride Day to Michael Aaron this morning. He wanted them for the Pride Center’s Coming Out Day Reopening this Sunday. We chatted for a while then in the afternoon I took Chuck Whyte out to lunch at Chuck-A-Rama. We had eaten out in a while. He told me that a kid named Robert Fisher was the guy who committed suicide and had worked at the center. At home I worked on getting out Halloween decorations and getting into the holiday mood. Since we are already a week into October getting Halloween decor out... For years I did so much Halloween at school never felt like getting into the spirit at home... But now I have the time to sit and enjoy...I got my ballot in the mail today for mayor... Will mail it off tomorrow. There will be chicken on the menu tonight if Henrietta Hen doesn't stay on her side of the fence... Daisy's daddy was a notorious chicken killer in Star Valley Wyoming... He got into a neighbors hen house and killed 34 chickens... The money I paid for Buddy went right to restitution... Daisy already killed a rooster that jumped the fence about 4 years ago and she doesn't mind fighting magpies if they get too close... The Squirrel watches the drama safe in his tree top... The great Billy Joe Royal has died RIP... So many great songs from the sixties ... Thanks for making my teenage years memorable

·         Greg Allen I'm proud to be a part of your new secret group, whatever it may be!

·         Me-Lol it's just a movie night group that when I get it up and running I will post when I am having people over and what I will be showing...usually classics and Gay theme

·         Greg Allen Sounds fun! I'm glad retirement is to your liking. Thank you for all you do.

·         Me-You are most welcome to bring guests to movie night

 

8 October 2015 Thursday

I bought a rainbow flag at Colonial Flags today for the backyard. I needed to fly the colors again. On the way home I stopped at Iceberg and had lunch. I hadn’t eaten there in years. I ordered a yummy pumpkin shake, onion rings, and a double cheese burger. I think they have the best onion rings in Salt Lake City. Anyway, I rested at home some before getting ready to go to a GMA wrap up meeting.  There,  Charles Frost and I had a major blow up at the Roasting Company over Gay Men Aloud. Perhaps that is why I was dragging my feet going tonight because I knew it could get ugly. Charles has been obsessed with “the branding” of the group as if we were marketing the group. I           was really late because they had the meeting at 4:30 while I had to take Coco home about that time and because of traffic I did not get there until 5:10. Charles already was in a mood and I could tell he had a burr under his saddle. We began discussing that the time was not sufficient for the topic and maybe we should have refreshments at the beginning and just get into it. I said the whole idea of the refreshments were for people to socialize after the discussion. We clashed over the purpose of GMA. He believed that the focus of the group should be informational and I believed the focus of the group should be social and community building. Well the gist of it was that Charles was upset that I wouldn’t lockstep with his vision and when he started changing things we agreed on and I was more than willing to be flexible I had enough. We agreed that we would only send emails to people who did not have access to FB but he wanted to send his “nuggets” of what we discussed Monday to these people so they could be more informed to discuss in greater detail what Maturity means. I actually thought we covered the topic enough and that if Charles would have followed my suggested time outline for the meeting we would have had plenty of time. So I said if he wanted them to have the information then he should email it to them himself and at that he blew up and started really being hateful… accusing me of posting too much, that I was trying to run the group like 20 years ago out of my living room, and then got nasty and personal calling me a hypocrite about going down to see Kyle in Gunnison, and that Levon said that I made fun of his Kristin Ries Award…and lots of other ugly things … well  I didn’t let him call me unauthentic and that no one was willing to tell me the truth…and other vitriolic crap and I gave it right back saying that he didn’t even want to be involved with this group more than once a month and I had to cajole him into even doing it twice a month. It was me who did all the leg work to start the group and compromise and I was not about to let him say things to me without slinging it right back.  He then realized that I was not going to back down and he left saying that he refused to bandy and fight in a public place that it was immature…LOL  After he stormed off Kent and I visited and Kent is such a sweet man and tried to be as neutral as possible. We visited about Connell O’Donovan and how he sent Kent a message wanting to be friends again… Kent is not amused. After giving Kent some tomatoes I went up to Jim Dabakis mansion on B Street and put Kyle’s letter to him in his mail box.  So that is that. I have had blown ups with Charles before but never this bad. He’s an alcoholic I know that and he may not be feeling well but lashing out at me means that this has been building for a while. I know that at the meeting he made a couple of digs at me off handed remarks that he couched in humor as not to take offense but they were disparaging like calling me a granny.  I know that Charles talks behind my back and this confirms it.

·         Kent Good afternoon. I just want to confirm that we are on at 4:30 this afternoon at the Roasting Company.

·         Charles Lynn I have it down on my schedule, and plan on being there.

·         Kent Perfect!!

·         Benedgar I will be there as close as I can with dropping Coco off. Go ahead and nosh and begin... I am running late because of Michael was stuck in traffic... I will catch up when I get there

·         Charles Lynn Well hurry up Girl

 

9 October 2015 Friday

I sent in my ballot today for Mayor... I voted for Jackie Biskupski although I think whoever wins will be a fine mayor. I voted for Jackie for two reason that I know people will roll up their eyes up at. I voted first because Chuck Whyte cares so much and has volunteered hours to answer phone calls and support her as much as he is able. Chuck's support is good enough for me...I’ve known him for nearly 30 years and he has only had the best interest of our community at heart without any ego or compensation. Secondly I did vote for Jackie because she is a Gay Woman. I voted for her because although we come from different points of views and backgrounds we both have experienced homophobia and prejudice at a level that even our straight allies can never fathom. I think she will do a fine job and I will probably disagree with a lot of her views but fundamentally I want someone in as mayor who has known our struggle for equality. I want to see the capitol city and headquarters of the world wide Mormon church be led by a Lesbian. Had a small group of friends over to kick off October with a movie night...we watched It's the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown and the Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein... I fixed some Corn Chowder and made a Booberry Cobbler served with Vanilla Ice Cream.... I am doggie sitting Corky and Bhanni tonight so I will have five dogs to watch over me if I have nightmares... I love Halloween even at my age

 

10 October 2015 Saturday

 

11 October 2015 Sunday Coming Out Day

Today is National Coming Out Day.... The date was chosen to commemorate the 1987 March on Washington to protest the Supreme Court ruling on Bower Vs Hardwick that Gay people had no rights to privacy and which sustained state laws that made homosexuality illegal... I am proud to have been part of the less than 50 Utahns who attended the 500,000 person march... Even though we made up only .0001 of the marchers we were cheered all along the way...Good turnout at the reboot of the Utah Pride Center ... Coming out day

 

12 October 2015 Monday Columbus Day

Perhaps Columbus Day should be renamed to reflect the Age of Exploration more than this Italian mariner... He never believed he hadn't reached the East Indies, he was sent home in chains after his last voyage... He was never recognized as opening the Western Hemisphere to European exploration. There are no portraits of Christopher Columbus... None we made in his life time... What we see today are images of portraits modeled after his sons... When Cortez entered the Aztec Capital they found a city larger than any in Europe, with Temples, market places, a library, and a zoo. It rivaled the beauty of the canals of Venice but its lofty pyramids were stained by the blood of hundreds of thousands sacrificed to insure the gods favor. These corpses thrown down the steps after having their hearts cut out were then consumed by the populous... While the Spaniards were horrified back in Spain thousands were being tortured and burned alive by a people who believed they were consuming the literal body and blood of their God... A clash of culture where those with the superior technology in warfare became the victors Completely understandable that people want to change the name of a Holiday named for Christopher Columbus but no one suggests changing the name of our national Capital named for Columbus and a slave owner... The capitols of South Carolina and Ohio are both named for the Italian Mariner... Even a country in South America was named for him... I see memes that suggest that Columbus murdered millions of indigenous people... That is ridiculous... Columbus just happened to be one of many Europeans seeking a short passage to China, India, and the Spice Islands...in 1453 the Ottoman Empire captured Constantinople and a mass of Christian refugees fled to the west. The Muslims now controlled all over land routes to East Asia... Christopher Columbus was not a mass murderer... What was a result of his exploration was the mass exploitation of the people and resources of the Western Hemisphere much like the Muslims were doing to Africa... Or the Mongolians were doing to Central and Eastern Asia. All the powerful Emperors, Kings, and princes of Europe, the Middle East, Asia, and Africa before 1492 never tasted chocolate, vanilla ice cream, peanut butter, or popcorn... Perhaps instead of Columbus Day it should be renamed Columbian Exchange Day a term Historians use to describe the greatest Agricultural exchange in history ... Here's a few foods that Europeans never had until after 1492 allspice Avocado common beans (pinto, lima, kidney, etc.) black raspberry bell peppers blueberries, cashews, chili peppers, cocoa beans, maize (corn),manioc (cassava, tapioca, yuca), papaya, passionfruit peanuts, pecans, Potatoes, pumpkins,  squash, strawberry (commercial varieties), sunflowers, sweet potatoes, tobacco, tomatoes, vanilla beans, wild rice (Indian rice, not directly related to Asian rice) yucca and zucchini (courgette)

 

13 October 2015 Tuesday

What a lovely October day about 80 degrees in the city. My old friend Craig Hunter dropped by this morning to say goodbye as he headed back to Oregon after having foot surgery. I've known him for nearly 30 years since he was just a kid. Met him in some of the support groups I ran back then. Then Erick Myers took Kent Scadlock and I to lunch at the fairly new restaurant Currents on 3rd and 3rd. Even when though Erick was treating us to lunch I was surprised to see the menu had no prices on it and I though Oh  shit how much is this going to cost Erick? I ordered the cheapest thing a hamburger and a salad but the salad was inedible… just a pile of greens like Kale. I told Erick to let me get the tip and it alone was $16 so the lunch for the three of us must have been nearly $80! I felt bad but that is where Erick wanted to eat and treat us. Lunch turned into a lovely three hour visit though and Kent and Erick connected like long lost friends. Kent had his first love while on his mission in Brazil. It was his Brazilian mission companion. Erick is another I have a long history with from my community building days in the 1980's. Nice to connect with people who knew you back in the day...

 

14 October 2015 Wednesday

Kyle Daniels asked me to take him to the airport at 5 pm to fly back to Orlando Florida but about an hour later he called for me to pick him us. The airlines computer had totally screwed up so they are sending him out in the morning and computing his flight. I wrote Kyle Foote a long overdue letter that he will get after his birthday.

·         Dear Kyle, I thought I better write you so you know that I got your two letters last week. You dated them the 9th but I got them on the 7th. I gave Jim Dabakis his letter last Thursday. I put it in his mail box and he texted me that received them. So he does have the information you sent but what he will do with them he hasn’t told me. I also sent you the money you requested and am sure you got it by now. I’ve paid everything off now except for my mortgage and of course ongoing utility bills. I can’t tell you how much of a weight off of me it is to have all that debt gone. Knowing that I will have the means to provide for myself, my dogs, and the help people I love is a great blessing to me. I would have written sooner but I have been feeling poorly lately. About a week ago I was being careless and I slipped and fell back onto the rim of the hot tub. I landed pretty hard on my lower back but since I could still move about I was certain I didn’t break anything. There wasn’t any bruising so didn’t think much about it but for the past few days my back wakes me up at night so sore I can’t sleep.  I get up and take some Aleve but it doesn’t help much. I worry that I gave myself a kidney punch because that is where the ache is.  It seems to be worse at night.  I don’t believe I damaged my kidney because my urine is the same color so I think I just really bruised myself self internally. Since there also is no discoloration from a bruise I am fairly certain that I did not bleed internally. I think I just took a sucker punch to the kidney…maybe jarred it a little or hurt the back muscle some. It does not incapacitate me but just a nuisance.  So I wanted to write you in case my back gets even more inflamed and it keeps me from driving down to Gunnison for your birthday. If you don’t see me this is why and if you do see me my back with be tolerable enough to make the journey on your special day.   I also have to report that Charles Frost and I can no longer be friends. Even if he apologizes I don’t think I would ever trust him again. I’ve realized for some time that he is an alcoholic egotist unhappy unless in the limelight or holding court. I looked the other way for years while he trashed the reputations of others because I tried to be a loyal friend to him.  I knew for some time that Charles and I were not on the same page about the ultimate purpose for Gay Men Aloud but I just chalked it up to Creative differences but last Thursday at a planning meeting that included Kent Scadlock, who I am glad was there as a witness, he turned on me with such vitriolic fury I was stunned! He must have been harboring resentment, or jealousy, or anger at me for some time. I know he always liked to say something “clever” usually at my expense. At the last meeting he made a snide remark in front of the 41 guys who were there that I was like a “granny.” He’s has done that more than once in a public setting, given me a disparaging remarked that was couched in a playful tone so as that I would have been the ass to act offended.          I realized now that Charles was upset because I was rejecting his vision of Gay Men Aloud as an “Organization” that had to protect its “brand.” When I approached Charles last summer with the idea of creating a Gay men’s group I specifically discussed that I wanted to bring Gay men back together as a community. I had to talk Charles even into the idea of forming a group. Even then he only wanted to commit to attending once a month while I wanted a weekly meeting. Now I realize from the start he saw the group as an organization and I saw the group as a way of building community. We compromised that we would meet just twice a month so that we could move forward. That summer I did all the leg work in finding a place to meet bringing Kent Scadlock on board because, beyond name recognition, Charles wasn’t bringing anything to the table. Two years ago I created a Facebook group called Gay Men Aloud after Charles and I had a run in on another issue. I convinced Kent and Charles to name the group Gay Men Aloud as that is what we wanted… to bring a voice back to our community. Charles started taking credit for the name but when he realized that the Facebook page had been up two year before with members already in it that upset him. But the name was too good to just disregard and besides now we had three people not just Charles and I creating a purpose for the group. One of the big compromises was that one meeting would be an open discussion while the other would be a type of educational forum. Charles began to treat Kent and I like we were his assistants and he conveniently forgot anything we decided on that he did not originate. One aspect we wanted to implement was a service component where we form groups of a few people to check in on one another to see how people are doing. We came up with the word Triad because we decided on groups of 3 which Charles then changed the name to Homo-teachers… Kent and I thought it was funny so agreed but at the last meeting some members objected to the associative meaning the word had with Mormonism.  The group decided we would officially just use the word Triad. Charles, who was facilitating the group that night, distanced himself from having ever suggested Homo-teachers. In fact so disinterested Charles was in decisions we had all made at planning meetings that he asked to be reminded again was Triads even were.           Anyway October 5 was the first discussion meeting. Charles came up with a topic on “maturity” and had us break into three groups in which Kent, Alan Anderson, and I were to lead the discussion while Charles went around to monitor. He stayed mainly with my group and now I realize it was to monitor me rather than participate. I was a school teacher for 28 years. I think I know how to keep a discussion going even on an overly broad topic like maturity. He only allowed 15 minutes for the break out groups to discuss then wanted us to rejoin the larger circle. But instead of having people interact and share what they might have learned,  he just wanted one person from each group to summarize what was discussed while he typed in these responses on his laptop! So that was that. It was like a business meeting where the “nuggets” as he called them were more important than the people who were expressing themselves. Since our meetings are only an hour with a half an hour for refreshment and socializing some felt frustrated that they didn’t get to go into more depth, which we certainly could have in the half hour Charles wasted the time having 3 people regurgitate what was said in the previous 15 minutes. But all in all people acted like they enjoyed getting together during the socializing. I made two banana breads, one sugar free for Chuck Whyte and other diabetics and others brought homemade cookies. Mike even came and brought Coco on his lap. After the meeting Charles then took off leaving Kent and I to clean up and close up. Oh I forgot to tell you that at an early planning meeting Charles agreed to pick up Walt Larabee for a ride as I was taking Chuck. When I was gathering up Chuck I get a text from Walt wondering if someone was coming for him… Charles had forgotten to contact him so I had to run Chuck up to the church and then drive back into the city to get Walt so I wasn’t there to set up because Charles never is but thank goodness Alan Anderson and Kent was there to set up and get the chairs out.  So I was pretty peeved with Charles about not following through on what he said he would do. I could have had easily taken the futon out of the cruiser and picked up both if I would have known that Charles was going to blow Walter off. Well the next day I posted on GMA FB a little bit about how successful the meeting was and thanking people for attending. I also posted about the decision to call our service project Triads. As that several community events were coming up in the community like Coming Out Day at the Pride Center, the Spicy Dinner Group and about a health information event that SAGE was hosting I posted information about them also. We had always said that we would post events in the community in case folks wanted to attend but at our next planning meeting Charles was furious. He had texted Kent and I before the planning meeting that we had to talk about “branding” again and it rankled me that he thought he could just impose this concept. Branding is useful if you have a product you are marketing. It made me understand that Charles was more interested in marketing the group for his own ego than letting the group be dynamic and concentrate on the people. I had posted on the FB site but not directed at Charles that I didn’t care if people forget what was discussed 5 minutes after the meeting as long as they remember the camaraderie they felt while there. I know now he took exception to that.            We met last Thursday at the SL Roasting Company and Charles was already in a mood when I got there and I sense that he had a burr under his saddle. First Charles let it be known he was upset that there wasn’t enough time at the last meeting to cover the topic satisfactory. I suggested that maybe the topic was overly broad and that it was he who suggested that we keep strictly to the time. He even had his watch out timing us! I had always said that if people still wanted to discuss, that taking a few minutes into the socializing period was certainly okay but he had rejected that idea. So We began intensely discussing that the time was not sufficient for such a broad topic and he said we should have the refreshments at the beginning of the meeting and just get into it. I said the whole idea of the refreshments was for people to socialize after the discussion and get to know one another. We then clashed over the purpose of GMA. He believed that the focus of the group should be informational and I believed the focus of the group should be social and community building. He was pissed that I had challenged him and I told him that GMA is not my first time at the rodeo and that I had plenty of experience at how to make a group successful. Again we voiced our opinions about GMA being strictly educational and GMA being community building. He said the most valuable aspect of the group was what information people could take away. He was mad that I rejected that. He then wanted to change the topic of the next meeting from Tribes to continue discussing maturity. He wanted Kent to take up the subject of Tribes rather than letting Kent come up with his own topics for his month. We had also agreed at an earlier planning meeting that we would only send emails to people who did not have access to FB but he wanted to send his “nuggets” of to these people so they could be more informed to discuss in “greater detail” what Maturity means at the coming meeting. I actually thought we covered the topic quite enough and that if Charles would have followed my suggested time outline for the meeting we would have had plenty of time. So I said if he wanted them to have the information then he should email it to them himself. At that Charles exploded. Well the gist of our quarrel was that Charles was upset that I wouldn’t get in lockstep with his vision and when he started changing things we agreed on, when I was had already been more than willing to compromise, I had enough especially when he blew up and started really being hateful attacking me. He accused me of posting too much on GMA, and that I was trying to run the group like 20 years ago out of my living room. He then got really nasty and personal, calling me a hypocrite about going down to see you in Gunnison, and that the kid who stayed with me Levon had said to him that I made fun of his Kristin Ries Award because he got it so many years after I did …and lots of other ugly things … He called me “unauthentic” and that no one was willing to tell me the truth…and other vitriolic crap and I gave it right back at him. We were inches from each other’s faces and I am sure Kent was aghast at the all of a sudden tirade. I said first it was none of his fucking business what I do with Kyle and why would I have said that to Levon since I was the one who nominated you for the award…twice! I reminded him that he didn’t even want to be involved with this group more than once a month and I had to cajole him into even doing it twice a month. He accused me of not following through on picking up Tom Shoemack for the meeting and I told him he was full of shit and that Tom had told me he couldn’t make it that night. We were pretty much shouting at each other because I was not about to let him say such things to me without defending myself. Charles must have been harboring a lot of hostility towards me and he finally let loose. When he realized that I was not going to back down and I certainly don’t care about making a scene, he got up and left saying that he refused to bandy and fight in a public place and that it was so immature on my part.  After he stormed off Kent and I sat stunned and couldn’t believe what had happened and where did all that malevolence came from.  I have never been anything but a good friend to Charles and if was disturbing to know that he had been resentful of me for some time. I didn’t tell you half what he said to me in front of Kent, talking down to me like he was telling me the “truth” that only my dearest and best friend would. I really was not crushed however because I knew what he was saying was from the perspective of a fucking passive aggression alcoholic actor who can’t stand to share the stage with anyone. Kent is such a sweet man and tried to be as neutral as possible but I am sure it was extremely uncomfortable and awkward for him to listen to two old titans giving each other shit. So that is that. I have had blown ups with Charles before but never this bad. I know he is an alcoholic, I know that he hates his job, he hates losing his community prestige, and I know he may not be feeling well, but lashing out at me tells me that this animosity has been building for quite a while. I knew that Charles talks and tells vicious gossip about people behind their backs and that he thinks everyone wants to have sex with him. I know now that Charles’ “friendship” is toxic and even if he apologized I am moving on. October is his only month to be in charge of GMA. Kent will do November and I will be in Charge of December. Hopefully Charles will by January drop away once he knows that Kent and I aren’t going to be his little chorus line while the spot light shines on him.   There’s an old saying “I don’t care how much you know until I know how much you care.” That’s the difference between Charles and I. He is much more concerned that you care how much he knows. As I was and ever be Your friend Ben

 

15 October 2015 Thursday

Took Kyle G. Daniels to the airport this morning. The only way I knew it was UEA fall break was all my teacher friends flying the coop. This October break is so important for teachers and for the students. Perfect weather also. I should go work in the yard but the trees still haven't started to dump their leaves. Gathered up all the toys Daisy and Corky scattered throughout the yard to throw in the wash... She has her favorites...Corky just likes to run with them...none of the others seem to care that much about their dollies...Daisy will even try to bark with a toy in her mouth...Corky is just a big old sissy bad boy.  I love this time of year and this time of day when the sun light is filtered through the changing leaves... The dogs have finished chowing down of chicken giblets that I sautéed in sage and chicken fat from the chicken noodle soup I made for supper...I look at my yard and know I planted every tree, every bush, every flower, and every blade of grass and think back how it changed over the years... When I brought Priscilla and Oscar home 19 years ago I promised them a park in the back yard...

 

16 October 2015 Friday

I saw a road closure sign on 3rd North and 5th West as I was headed into the city that said ‘Road closed for Construction from October 18 "threw" October 19’... I guess being last in the United States in funding education is finally paying off LOL. My friend Richard P. Butler was having a retirement luncheon at Seigfried's downtown. I wanted to help him celebrate though I think I ended up talking to his wife Brenda the most ... It was Busy busy place at noon and I ordered a Reuben and coleslaw ...Brenda said she was surprised so many were drinking beer during their lunch break...after all this is SLC lol. At home I made Italian macaroni casserole and a peach cobbler for dinner.. Had a tomato and lettuce salad too...beautiful warm day... House Speaker John Boehner is having a hard time getting anyone to take his position so he can retire this month. Lol so true ...I hope to live long enough to see this mockery of the Republican Party become as relevant as the Whigs... The Republican Party was founded on the slogan of ending the "twin relics of Barbarism - slavery and polygamy" but now has become a relic for promoting unrestrained capitalism and being slaves to the National Rifle Association....it tells how low this party has sunk when the legions of its most ardent supporters are the descendants of polygamists and southern traitors...

·         Maddox Hinckley [Adam Wade] -My aunt Cynthia Stevens knew Charles for 20 something years. She knew he was in it for himself, not for others. He wrote her a letter a couple months before she died extending the olive branch but he didn't follow through

·         Me-I think you are right that he doesn't do much that doesn't self-promote... He's an actor after all...  He's always been interested in his image and being seen as an A list player ... But has been paid well for most of his work in the community... Not much one for altruistic volunteerism.  I think he'd like to be a better person and thinks of himself as a champion  of equality but if you cross him his Utah passive aggressiveness comes out.   We use to be close friends but recently had a falling out ourselves that is beyond repair...  I wish him well but not a part of my life...

·         Maddox Hinckley What an ass. You're better than him, Ben. You've actually done a great deal of good for our community in the last 40 years... As well as providing an education to straight people's children... You inspire me!

·         Me- That is so kind of you to say... I really do enjoy your posts although often there is a generation gap and I don't get it but then every generation has its struggles and uniqueness and I you educate me what is going on with young people

·         Maddox Hinckley Haha I enjoy your writing & Michael & Seth speak highly of you

·         Me Oh those imps LOL... I am Michael's Faerie Godmother...

 

17 October 2015 Saturday

Bill Poore and I drove down to Gunnison today for Kyle’s 36th birthday.  I just wanted to be with him on his day and let him know someone loves him. It was a gorgeous autumn day and the drive was marvelous splashes of orange and red on the mountains and in the valleys golden grass as far as one could see. Bill went genealogy hunting in the cemetery while Kyle and I visited. He can’t figure out what we would have to talk about for two hours but when you love someone just being with them is enough although we never lack things to talk about. He said he’s making burritos for his fellow inmates in his pod. Anyway we were back by 5:00 pm and Bill was exhausted and just went home even though I do all the driving. My iPhone has decided it doesn’t want to work...Its fully charged but won’t slide so I can enter my password......Smart phones can be so dumb... ever since I did the last update its been running hot and not keeping a charge... time to get a new piece of crap... Maybe I will just get a land line and a CB

 

18 October 2015 Sunday

Terry Gillman told me to do this which worked if anyone else has phone issues... Hold down [Home] and [Power] until it power cycles. This should fix it. I've known Terry since he was a pup and head of the Utah Gay and Lesbian Youth in the early 90's. The group had the unfortunate acronym of UGLY lol... His sister Lynn worked tirelessly as a volunteer Librarian in the Old Utah Stonewall Center... Shining examples of service to the community... unsung heroes...

 

20 October 2015 Tuesday

Lovely day along the Wasatch... Bill Poore and I went to China Star in Bountiful for lunch. He wanted to pay and hey I am a Democrat so I am obliged to take free lunches whenever I can. Afterwards showed him all the soccer fields that opened just north of me... State of the art fields... Next summer Bill and I are getting lawn chairs big floppy hats and sunglasses to watch the boys on the playing fields...then went to DI with Bill where I bought a pair of lamps for the night stands in the guest room... So it was a fun run around day

 

21 October 2015 Wednesday

 

22 October 2014 Thursday

·         My beautiful niece my only niece ... My niece Denise... Today is her birthday and I was 20 years old when she was born... She got all the my Williams masculine genes because I didn't... Did I tell you she's an airplane mechanic too? You can take the teacher out of elementary school but you can't take the elementary school out of the teacher... I made a pumpkin spice cake with cream cheese icing decorated with candy corn and candy pumpkins for Halloween because I felt the change in the air.... And well it's October and skeleton, goblins and witches and ghosts Are soon to be doing the dance Macabre ... Kent Scadlock and I did a DI run this afternoon and I bought this whorehouse candle stick holder that had beads dangling  for a buck and other sundry items... Then we went to Siegfried for lunch to look at the downtown boys. I was going to have another Reuben but the special was cabbage rolls so that is what we had... yum...sat cafe style on the sidewalk what a perfect autumn day.. Took a leisurely 2 hour lunch watching the boys in suits scamper back to their offices... So excited that Bill Poore is treating me to opening night of Rocky Horror tonight at the U! Let's do the time warp again! Had a blast tonight seeing Rocky Horror on stage at the Pioneer Memorial Theater as Bill Poore's guest.. Was surprised to see that J Seth Anderson and Michael Adam Ferguson were in town and they sat in the row in front of us so that was fun... James Dabakis was lively, entertaining, and did a great job as the Narrator and taking a few good humor jabs at the Governor...it looked like a full house and very intergenerational from Seniors who saw it on the screen 40 years ago to young people seeing it for the first time... You can gage how the world has changed since I was a young man when a straight married Mormon pulls off playing a sweet transvestite from Transylvania with aplomb... don't dream it be it

·         Alejandro Roark Great to see you!!

·         Doug Murri How was Will as Frankenfurter?

·         J Seth Anderson He was amazing!

·         Alan Anderson Seeing it tonight

·         Edgar Ben Williams He was right on the mark, sexy, campy, homoerotic, great interaction with the audience...and lots and lots of charisma... His entrance had the audience cheering... Felt like not a knock off of Tim Curry but an embodiment of Frank N Furter... All the casting was great... And Rocky was beautiful sexy and shook his ass like a power bottom...I sang under my breath every song and every shout out ...Rocky Horror is the closest thing to the old Medieval morality play where the audience gets to participate and not just be passive observers... It's a cult film and play in the truest spiritual sense...PS the costumes were designed by Gay actor Aaron Swenson who starred in Hedwig and the Angry Itch here a while back... He must have loved designing for Will as everything was stunning

·         Jacqueline Michelle Clawson · Awesome!

·         Doug Murri Hey, Mr. Edgar Ben Brantley. Your review is fantastic! PTC should be using quotes from your review in their advertising. If this was Broadway, the producers would be pulling your quote "Rocky shook his ass like a power bottom” and plastering it on its ads on taxi's and buses all over the city. grin emoticon

·         Alan Anderson An amazing response from a power bottom!!

·         Doug Murri Alan. I just bought a ticket for tomorrow night. Trust me..... I'll be taking notes on Rocky's power bottom techniques. One's never too old to learn. wink emoticon grin emoticon

·         Alan Anderson Saturday night? We are going tonight!!

·         Doug Murri Yes. Saturday night. Darn! I'm not in SLC tonight. frown emoticon

·         Edgar Ben Williams I have to attribute quote that to Michael Adam Ferguson who made that comment when we were gushing about the show afterwards 💕

 

23 October 2015 Friday

So what do you do to apples that are old but too good to throw away? Make apple butter of course from Grandma Williams recipe... When I cook the things grandma and grandpa did I still feel connected to them. Company have all left and time to snuggle with the pups...had a fun evening with about eight Gay guys over for dinner and a movie... I made smothered chili verde burritos, frijoles, Spanish rice for dinner with chips and salsa... I think everyone had a good time eating and visiting and we put a dent in the pumpkin cake for sure...we piled into the movie room to watch Frank Capra's Arsenic and Old Lace...we hooted every time Cary Grant’s butt went up in the air... A nice way to spend an evening... after most left a couple stayed to hot tub... I love October

 

24 October 2015 Saturday

I must think I am still working because I cooked up a lot today to have for next week... Old habits die hard...I made a crock pot of taco soup and a big pan of lasagna and baked 10 chicken thighs but those are for the hounds supper

·         Me to John Bonner- Hey John how are you doing? Charles Frost highly recommended you for a presenter in our November presentation on Tribes for Gay Men Aloud. I don't know if you know Kent Scadlock...He's a great guy and he along with Charles and I are the ones that form GMA. Anyway, Kent is the facilitator for the two meetings in November and he is hopeful that you might have the 16th off to come do a presentation. The 16th is a Monday. Kent asked if I would contact you first to break the ice as he didn't think you knew him all that well and Charles is going to be gone for a week in California. If this is something you are free to do and would like to this is Kent's number 1 801 493 5779 or if you want you can message him on FB... So any who hope you are having a great morning

·         John Hi Ben. I'm well. How are you? Tell me more about the Tribes presentation. I'd be happy to help out if I can. And Kent is welcome to contact me as well.

·         Benedgar We are using the term tribe simply in terms of a community of likeminded men with a common vision and sense of unity and purpose ... There are many tribes in the Gay Men's world and connecting to one on a deeper transcendental level is kind of what we want to address... Kent can tell you a lot more... Thanks John.

 

25 October 2015 Sunday

Delivering soup and lasagna to the sick and home bound ...

 

26 October 2015 Monday

I am painting my front door... See what happens when you retire? You do all the things you kept putting off while working. It was kind of a blah beige before but now I want it to stand out. I wanted a warm summery Autumn color and so I started looking and at Lowes I saw a color swatch called "Welcoming Orange". So that is what I am doing this lovely autumn day. It's kind of a soft cantaloupe melon color but in high gloss paint. I never paint with white... bones are white ...color is for the living...Well Well Well… Marian Edmonds resigned as executive director of the Pride Center. She was just hired July 16th and officially began her job on August 1st. It’s a surprise and shock to some sine she just hosted on October 11th a new beginning relaunch of the center.

·         Kent Good Morning Gentlemen. I reached out to John Bonner about our November meetings and helping us with the topic of Tribe and Community. I proposed he attend our meeting on the 2nd as an observer and in the 16th as our moderator/presenter. I'll let you know as soon as I hear back from him.  Also, I'll create the event today. Charles, I hope you are enjoying your ocean front views!!!

·         Benedgar Thanks for the update

·         Kent I tried to add the artwork and can't figure it out. What do I do? Can either of you add the picture? I'm without a computer.

·         Benedgar Unfortunately the person who creates the event has to add the picture... You tap on the space where the picture would go and it should say upload a picture...but you have to have that picture in your files... If you can't get it come over here this evening and you can use my computer and I will feed you lasagna for dinner... I am painting my front door this afternoon

·         Kent I tried that Ben. I can come out this afternoon. Jaron is coming over at 7 tonight.

·         Benedgar My door should be dry by 4:00 how about that?

·         Charles Lynn Kent, If you need me to create the next event, let me know. I can do them with my eyes closed. Seriously, easy for me to do.

·         Kent Well, I think I got the picture updated. I dusted off my ancient laptop and a half hour later the event is updated with artwork. FYI, you can't create an event with your phone and add artwork. Now I know. How does the event look?

·         Charles Lynn Looks great.

·         Benedgar yep

·         Charles Lynn Did we hear back from John Bonner--Kent?

·         Kent Ben made John aware that I'd be contacting him. I messaged him but haven't heard back from him directly. I explained our goal and asked him to attend on the 2nd as an observer and I asked him to facilitate the meeting on the 16th as a guest facilitator/moderator.

·         Charles Lynn I look forward to hearing his decision.

 

27 October 2015 Tuesday

Today is Chuck Whyte’s birthday born in 1956. It was a busy and productive day... I finished painting my front door and garage trim the "welcoming orange" color I picked out this morning. Then I had Bill come over and took care of his BLT craving. In the late afternoon Kent Scadlock  came over and we did some GMA business since it will be his month in November. After taking the pups home, we came back and  soaked in the hot tub... After he left I spent the rest of the evening curled up with the pups in bed watching my shows... Brooklyn 9/11 Modern Family, Bob's Burgers, Simpsons-Easy Cheese Cake Make favorite kind of Crust: 1-1lb of Pillsbury Sugar Cookie Dough, I used the mini cookie dough pieces. Press the cookie dough or graham cracker crust into the bottom of an 8 inch springform pan and bake at 350 about 15 minutes until almost done. Let cool. beat 4 8 oz softened cream cheese and 1 cup white sugar. Add 1 tbsp vanilla and 4 eggs at a time, beating well. Pour into crust graham cracker or sugar cookie crust.       Lower oven to 325 and bake 75-90 minutes until cooked through and browned. Chill overnight in fridge and top with canned cherry or blueberry pie filling.

 

28 October 2015 Wednesday

It's been one of the coolest days since last Spring...people who are out and about are wearing hoodies now and I noticed the camping out by the homeless shelter on 5th West has diminished. They are probably heading out to warmer climes. I took Chuck Whyte out for a belated birthday lunch to Su Casa, his choice not mine.  Not my favorite Mexican place and the chili verde was weird and it’s not cheap either. He had some birthday money so I ran him up to Walmart in Centerville for him to spend some of it on clothes...I bought some string rope lights for the coming holidays before they are gone. I waited too long last year and couldn't locate any at all... Anywhere. However when I put a strand up on the porch for lighting the steps into the house a section of one strand was burned out! Oh well cheap Chinese crap. It’s so cool out that this weekend I am putting away my shorts for the winter. The hound dogs love clean out the refrigerator day...They had left over lasagna with their chicken thighs and kibbles for their supper. It's gonna be a 3 dog night... Well actually every night is a three dog night ... Buts gonna get cold. Country Baked Apple Fritter Bread·        Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Use a 9x5-inch loaf pan and spray with non-stick spray or line with foil and spray with non-stick spray to get out easily for slicing.·        Mix brown 1/3 brown sugar and 1 tsp cinnamon together in a bowl. Set aside. In another medium-sized bowl, beat 2/3 cup white sugar and ½ cup softened butter together using an electric mixer until smooth and creamy·        Beat in 2 eggs, 1 at a time, until blended in; add in 1 ½ tsp vanilla extract.·        Combine & whisk 1 ¾  cup flour and 1 ¾ tsp baking powder together in another bowl and add into creamed butter mixture and stir until blended. Mix 1 ½ cup of milk into batter until smooth·        2 apples, peeled and chopped (any kind), mixed with 2 tablespoons granulated sugar and 1 teaspoon cinnamon. ·        Pour half the batter into the prepared loaf pan; add half the apple mixture, then half the brown sugar/cinnamon mixture. Lightly pat apple mixture into batter. Pour the remaining batter over apple layer and top with remaining apple mixture, then the remaining brown sugar/cinnamon mixture. Lightly pat apples into batter; swirl brown sugar mixture through apples using knife or spoon.

·        Bake in the preheated oven until a toothpick inserted in the center of the loaf comes out clean, approximately 50-60 minutes. ·        Old-Fashioned Creme Glaze- To make glaze, mix ½ cup powdered sugar and 1-3 tbsp milk or cream together until well mixed. Let cool for about 15 minutes before drizzling with glaze.

 

29 October 2015 Thursday

I spent all morning switching all my bills over to America First credit union from Horizon. I've been with America First about 15 years and they have been good to me... Horizon other credit union has only 2 branches in Bountiful and Farmington that is why i am consolidating to America 1st. I tried getting Rocky Mountain Power switched but can’t get on line so I will have to call or go down town. I decided to shut down my Horizon Credit Union account that was my school districts credit union that I've had for 27 years... So that was a pain and an all-day thing.  I need to change my auto insurance too now that both the vehicles are paid off... I absolutely hate financial matters...it's so draining... So after that I headed into the kitchen to relax and made a crock pot of corn chowder, some stuffed bell peppers and baked more thighs for the hounds... Made sweet potato bread too for Gay Men Aloud. It was a rainy kind of fall weather day which makes me lethargic

 

30 October 2015 Friday

I didn’t get as much done today as I had liked. Still working most of the morning typing on my Williams Families of Virginia and North Carolina. Cleaned the house a little and blew the leaves off the deck. That’s gonna be a constant because the Poplars have still not dropped the majority of its leaves. Michael Romero winterized his trailer and now its parked for the winter. When he brought it over had him stay for dinner because I had made some stuffed green bell peppers.  He stayed until almost eight just visiting. Before going to bed I finished the last of Season 5 of Downton Abby.

·         Kent Good morning! I heard from John last night and he will be attending both of our meetings this month. I think this is great news. He will attend Monday as an observer but he is asking for direction/expectations for the meeting on the 16th. What would your top two expectations be for him as we discuss Tribe and Community? Let me know what you think and I'll pass our thoughts on to him in a group message.

·         Benedgar I contacted Alan Anderson and he printed off 50 more GMA fliers for Monday meeting.

·         Charles Lynn I would hope John could explore and do a deeper dive on the most salient and relevant aspects of tribe and community that emerge from the first meeting. I would like him to offer tips, tools, methods, and ways to fully UNITE the mature gay community--that will endure and create strong bonds.

 

31 October 2015 Saturday Halloween

Today is Samhain the beginning over a new year. Samhain is a time of darkness, introspection, of taking inventory, and remembering the dead... ...It’s a time to honor your ancestors and the spiral of life that they bequeathed to you... I carry within me all my mother’s mothers and my  father’s fathers back to the beginning of time when we were all star dust. It's also the Pagan New Year as the Sun deity has died waiting to be reborn at Yule... It's a time to remember our mortality and to dance and do good while we may...Tonight the veil between the old and new is thin and spirits and goblins will come again... You never know who will show up at your door .... Best to give out sweets to all you should greet whether it be friend or foe I was thinking of going down to see Kyle Foote in Gunnison today but Rich Butler called and wanted to come over to get away from what is going on in his house with his stepchildren. We had a nice catch up visit this afternoon and I treated him to lunch at Chubby’s this Mexican place by my house. It's famous in this neck of the woods but Salt Lake east siders can't get past Red Iguana... We made plans for this Wednesday to do the toilet downstairs because the bolts have rusted out and its wobbly. Rich said its some minor plumbing. He's the husband handy man I never had. Rich came over at 9:30 and stayed until 3:30. I think he just needed to talk to someone who knew him from long ago. Then I decided to mow my front lawn one last time for the year because it was such a beautiful Halloween autumn. After mowing the south parking strip I decided to trim back the Virginia Creeper and Trumpeter vine that grows on the fence. I should have done it sooner but out of sight out on mind. But it turned out to be a bigger job than anticipated and I needed to get the sidewalk cleared before the Trick or Treaters came out. I was racing the shadows to get it done and when I saw a zombie down the street, I quickly finished what I could, locked up the house, pulled the shades to darken the house. It’s not that I hate giving out Candy but because of the split level I’d have to sit on the steps by the entry way and listen to Daisy, Buddy, and Lucky bark the entire time… So we huddled in the bed and let the witches, skeletons, spooks, and goblins pass us by. I got zero Coke, corn chowder,  and Netflix so I was set for the evening. Did end up watch PBS old 2002 show Manor House...The witches are out and magick is afoot. PEACH COBBLER

1 stick butter melted 1 1/2 cups sugar 1 cup flour 1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder

3/4 cup milk 1 can (30 ounces) sliced peaches in syrup 1 teaspoon cinnamon 1/3 teaspoon nutmeg Reserve ½ cup sugar with cinnamon and nutmeg Blend flour and baking powder… stir in milk with syrup from peaches. Place peaches and melted butter in dish and then pour batter over both. Bake 350 min to 1 hour

NOVEMBER

1 November 2015 Sunday

First day of Day Light Standard time and it was Perfect weather this first day of November; 72degrees in SLC. I decided to head down to see Kyle Foote when my other Kyle asked if he could come over at noon to see me. I had to put him off because I said I was going to Gunnison. I told him that Gunnison only allows visits Fridays through Monday and on Friday and Monday he is in class so I don’t want to pull him out of class. I was going to go yesterday but Richard Butler called and wanted to come over and visit so I couldn’t get away. I want to go down while the weather is still decent because I won’t go whether its snowy or stormy. Kyle then said, “I will come over tonight if you want me to? I already have the permission lol.” I replied, “You must have been a good boy or Alan is excited about the Utes winning yesterday” “Lol I've been a good boy. Have you been a good boy?” “At my age I have no choice in the matter. Besides I am saving it for you.”  I asked Bill Poore if he wanted to go but I was just as glad when he said he wasn’t up to it after his fall that broke two fingers and bruised his ribs. I needed some mediation time so I was on the road by 10:30 and took the truck because of the cruise control. I didn’t stop and get quarters which was okay because the Prison vending machines were all out of everything except soda pop. I usually get Kyle his Dr. Pepper but he had to settle for Pepsi. Traffic was light go down and back. All the holiday travelers were gone. The autumn sunlight was gorgeous on the farm lands and golden grass lands.  Kyle was surprised to see me because I didn’t let him know I was coming. Nothing new how can it be? But we talked about hopeful things and about what kind of work he might find when he is released, which won’t be for at least another year.  I noticed that his left eye was sort of red and slightly droopy and told him to go get checked for conjunctivitis. I said pink eye can spread so easily in an institution.   Well the two hours flew as it always does and I was home by 5 pm and it was already getting dark. I noticed in the garage that I have a flat tire in the cruiser...Grrr I hate changing a tire but at least I have the Sonoma to take it down tomorrow and get it fixed... I was wondering why the title to the cruiser hadn't come yet until I looked through a pile of what I thought was junk mail and there it was. 

·         Bill Poore So an older nurse 're did the splint with better instructions, she told me to go home and go to bed. She told me RICE (rest ice compress and elevate)

·         Me-Glad you got someone who knows what they are doing... It was a beautiful drive down

·         Bill- Good came home and rested, so what did Kyle dress up as a prison guard? Told the nurse had a gay friend who competed with on who got the cutest young doctors, she loved it when I told her you had all your teeth pulled because you had a Cute dentist

·         Me-Telling secrets out of school.  I only had two kiki emoticon

·         Charles Lynn Brent Marrott is inquiring, did either of you delete his Mommie Dearest post for Halloween. I didn't. He'll need an explanation, because I guarantee he won't let it drop.

·         Kent I have no idea what he's talking about. I saw it but didn't I  delete it. I didn't think it was inappropriate.

·         Charles Lynn Neither did I. Ben did you delete it?

·         Benedgar Nope last I saw it was still there as of yesterday. He must be off his meds because it's still there...

·         Charles Lynn Dare you to say that! Double dare. He needs to see it

·         Benedgar It has 8 likes and seen by 26 people I even clicked like... I added a comment. Just now saying funny... So it should go to the top so have no idea what he talking about... Although I didn't get it at all why he posted that image

·         Kent I just liked it too

 

2 November 2015 Monday

First thing this morning I went out into the garage and struggled with changing the tire. The lugnuts were torqued on so tight that I didn’t have the upper body strength to loosen them so I had to use my leg strength to push down on the crowbar but I managed to get them off. The spare tire was another matter entirely. PT Cruisers have their spare tires in a basket beneath the rear of the car. I finally figured out how to lower the basket but just did not have the strength to lift it off its hook out of the basket. So I threw the tire into the truck and headed towards Discount Tires in Woods Cross. The puncture was by a screw on the side so the tire could not be fixed buy because it was under warranty it was replaced essentially for free except my time waiting.  Even though I was just picking up a tire it took an hour to get to me because they were really busy. I was home by 11 am so that took my entire morning. I then went to Rocky Mountain Power to try and get my bill changed to America First. The office is just down the street on North Temple but once there I was told they don’t have a customer service anymore and I’d have to call a toll free number. I did early but after being on hold for 15 minutes I thought I could just do it here. Wrong so I guess that is what my morning will be like tomorrow on hold. Well it’s been pretty breezy today with wind whipping leaves off the trees so I decided to pull up all my tomato plants before it freezes or snows. In November you can never tell. It took me much of the afternoon and I filled an entire trash can. I did save as many ripen and green tomatoes as I could. This morning Kyle Daniels called and wanted to come over right after school about 3:45 and I agreed but it put the pressure on to get everything ready for Gay Men Aloud tonight. I still had to glaze the Sweet Potato Bread and feed the dogs but fortunately Michael Romero took a vacation day and didn’t bring Coco over so I didn’t have to take her home. When Kyle arrived it was too windy to hot tub so we went straight to bed. I first gave him a back massage because he was sore but as soon as he got hard he wanted to fuck me. He has a really big cock and believe it or not I am still relatively tight so it takes some getting used to him being in me and its rather discomfortable but the intimacy is worth it. When I get use to him inside me I lay on myside which is the most comfortable position and we kiss while he is thrusting. What I love about Kyle is that when he ejaculates you know it. His whole body shudders and goes taunt. Then he just lays besides me in the afterglow and I stroke him until he falls asleep for a nap. I kept petting him and lightly massaging and after a while he said he wanted to cum again but was only going to jack off but I rolled over for him to penetrate me again and he fucked me until he exploded again. It’s not unusual for Kyle to fuck me twice but he stayed hard after his second ejaculate and then to both our surprise  he fucked me again and came a third time.  I have never had anyone come that many times with me. But we were so passionate and he is so handsome especially with his new beard. I guess I really excited him or it’s been a while. We were through by 5:00 when he had to leave and I had to get ready for GMA. I bet I was the only one there that had such a pleasant secret that just an hour before I had on no clothes and was being made love to by a 29 year old man. Anyway off to First Baptist I rushed because I had told Kent that I would look at the Sunday School classes and see if they were suitable for us to break up into smaller groups. They were and we did. I still am not speaking to Charles Frost and my rose color glasses about him are broken. I facilitated one of the groups where I had people discuss Tribes and Community.  It was a good turn out about 37 people. I was home by 8:30 and tired from a very long day.

·         Richard P. Butler If it wasn't for bad luck you've have no luck at all. LOL I hate flats!!!!

·         Stephen Bolinder Do you need me to come change the tire?  I will help you know that

·         Edgar Ben Williams Thanks Stephen that is kind of you but I grunted and groaned and used my legs to get the bolts off lol couldn't get the spare off however so threw the tire into the truck... Picked up a screw

·         Robert Edward Cross I always carry a star wrench in my trunk, makes it very easy if ever you need help.

·         Me to Bill Poore- How are you feeling? I had a flat tire in the cruiser that took all morning then I must have been out in the yard when you called...cleared out all my tomato plants... It filled an entire trash can... Getting ready to head off to GMA to help Kent get set up... Topic tonight is tribes ... I should be out of there and home by 830... Let me treat you to lunch tomorrow

·         Bill- I am doing ok   been resting this afternoon on pain meds rib has really whipped me out just hard to move around so decided just to kill the pain today,  let’s talk tomorrow about lunch TRIBE is the current play at SALT LAKE ACTING COMPANY have fun. wiped out dreaming of being whipped

·         Me-I guess resting is the best one can do

·         Bill- how did meeting go

·         Me-Good turn out about 37 people... we broke up into smaller groups and went into classes too,  the sound was better

·         Bill-did u and Charles talk

·         Me-nope

3 November 2015 Tuesday

Benedgar regarding GMA There's 127 dollars in the cigar box after deducting the 4 dollar seed money and reimbursing Kent $10 out of the $16 spent on refreshments and sundry items... As that November 30th is two weeks after Kents Nov 16 presentation I propose that I take November 30th meeting on talk about holidays and depression   and the first Monday in December is the  7 and the following December 21 let’s just have a holiday social pot luck party... Some people will be away for Christmas but for those still around the 21st is just a few days away... Something simple like some crock pot soups and people bring breads and desserts... Be a nice way to bond and do something for the holidays outside a formal meeting... Thoughts? I am certainly willing to organize the logistics of a holiday get together... That would get us through to the end of the year until Charles's January month

·         Kent After giving it some thought, do we want to pick up the months that have the extra Monday? It was established in the beginning that the meetings are on the first and third Monday of every month. For consistency, wouldn't the fifth Monday throw things off a bit. Looking at next year, there are three months that have the extra Monday (February, May and August. If I'm seeing things correctly at this hour ). That being said, I think the idea of a potluck on December 21st works for those who may be around that close to the holiday. Anyway, just some thoughts I thought I'd throw out.

·         Charles Lynn I agree with sticking with the 1st and 3rd Monday's, consistency with this older group is vital. I agree with the social/potluck but feel we should stress ONLY IF INTERESTED. Our group is very diverse, and some may really want and need a social outlet, whereas others may find it another obligation at a very busy time of year. If we choose to do the social I like Ben's idea of briefly discussing tips for holiday happiness and survival, then eat and mingle. I also feel this is a great opportunity for we three to step aside and let GMA members help with the social, having Ben coordinate rather than run it. My thoughts.

·         Benedgar That is fine ... We will skip the 30th and just do  the first and 3rd Monday's in December to be consistent ... And I will stick with the format of discussion and forum for that month...

·         Kent to John Bonner , I wanted to give you a big thanks for attending our GMA meeting tonight.  And I know Charles and Ben feel the same. I'm so looking forward to our next meeting. Again, thank you.

·         Charles Lynn Yes indeed thank you John. I'll have you the condensed lists by Tues or Wed. Sorry to hear about your finger. Mercy!!

 

4 November 2015 Wednesday

 

5 November 2015 Thursday

 Dear Kyle,   It was so good to see you on November 1, but our visits seem all too brief. Bill Poore once asked me  what do we find to talk about for two hours and I replied we never seem to lack things to talk about. Besides when you love someone just the time spent in their company is often enough.         I have been worried about your eye. Did it clear up or did you have it checked for Pink Eye Conjunctivitis.  Its contagious up to two weeks after infection so if someone in your pod had it you may have caught it.  I am sending you another letter containing Octobers UPAN newsletter.  It will explain more than what my letter did of the meeting I attended.  I also put $50 in your account that should show up by the time you receive this letter. The trip home was uneventful and it was a beautiful day and so glad I went when I did… because the weather has really changed up here. Monday and Tuesday the winds blew so badly there was high winds weather alert. My back yard is littered with small limbs and tons of leaves are all over the deck and the back yard and today it is snowing.  Glad that on Monday I tore out the remaining Tomato plants in preparation for the weather change and I am glad I painted at the end of October too because I knew  November would bring snow and here it is.  It rained last night but the lake effect has turned it to snow. It won’t stick but its suppose to get even colder. When I came home last Sunday in the truck I noticed that the PT Cruiser’s right rear tire was flat in the garage. I had a devil of a time trying to get the lug nuts off because the tire guys torque them so tight. I didn’t have the upper body strength so I had to use my legs LOL but I got the tire off only to not be able to get the spare tire off. Only on Cruisers are the tire in a basket beneath the car and after lowering it you are supposed to lift it off this hook. There was no way I could do that so just threw the tire in the back of the truck. It had a screw in the side that couldn’t be repaired but since it was under warranty I got a free tire.  So glad I didn’t take the Cruiser down to Gunnison or I would have been stuck on the side of the road. I had let Triple A road service lapse but I am going to get it again for sure.  So that was my Monday adventure.  The tires you had put on the truck are still in really good shape. I doubt it Ive put 1500 miles on it since you used to drive it. On Wednesday my old friend Rich Butler came over to help me repair the downstairs toilet. The bolts that secured the toilet to the floor had rusted out because twenty years ago the jerks who installed it only used regular metal bolts and not brass or stainless steel bolts. No one likes a wobbly commode but its firmly rewaxed and bolted down now. Have no fear now. You know you have a friend when someone comes over and helps you with a toilet. However while putting a new air filter in the furnace I saw water all over and we also discovered that my 10 year old water heater is leaking out the bottom. So this weekend Mike is going to help me pick one up at Lowes and unload it into the garage. Rich said he’d come over later and install it for me. Another big project for another day. I suppose you heard that Jackie Biskupski won the mayor race in Salt Lake City by now.  I voted for her primarily because Chuck Whyte worked so hard on her campaign despite his physical limitations.   I Liked Becker too so really didn’t care who won both are progressive Democrats. This is why I love Salt Lake City. I permanently moved to Salt Lake City 30 years ago although I've lived off and on here since 1976 after moving to Utah in 1973. SLC elected democrat Pete Wilson in 1976 and the city has remained in the hands of Democrats ever since. When I bought this house, living in Salt Lake City was my highest priority. I wanted a Salt Lake City Address. Now we have a Gay mayor. I hope people will realize that the election of Jackie Biskupski did not happen in a vacuum. At least 30 years of Gay activism prepared the way... First we had to build a community and rid Gay people of the sense of shame and low self-esteem...then we had to work within the body politic... Chuck Whyte's Unity Shows led to the creation of The Gay and Lesbian Community Council of Utah which paved the way for changing the way SLC police viewed us, gave stability to our annual Pride Days, and created the Utah Stonewall Center.  Michael Aaron created the Anti-violence Project and David Nelson formed the powerhouse Gay and Lesbian Utah Democrats. At the end of the 20th century Jackie Biskupski was elected to the state legislature to represent a district in SLC. In the 21st century James Dabakis formed Equality Utah. Bruce Bastian used his influence to champion The Human Rights Campaign in Utah and lots of good progressive people became allies and advocates for the civil rights of Gays and Trans folks leading to the election of Jackie. Even though the election results won’t be official until the 17th of this month she has a 3 point lead over Becker and that will be hard to overcome. Derek Kitchen also won his city council race. If you recall he and his partner were plaintiffs in over throwing a ban on Gay marriage in Utah. Stan Penfold is still on the council and director of Utah AIDS Foundation.  So if everything holds the SLC will have a Gay Woman as mayor and two Gay Men on the city council.  That means 2/5 of the council is Gay and I suspect the rest of the state is horrified by the turn of events regarding Utah’s capital!  Sodom Lake City. Who's the Gayest city in America now? As a side note Biskupski is not the first Gay mayor in the state of Utah. That distinction goes to my old Libertarian friend Willy Marshall who was elected the mayor of the polygamist town of Big Water.  Now that was a story in and of itself when a polygamist community elected an openly Gay man as its mayor… I love quirky Utah. Speaking of quirky several people in the community are bemoaning that Biskupski is being called Gay Mayor instead of just mayor. “Does the term "Gay Mayor" bother anyone but me? Being Gay does not define Jackie as a person. I prefer "Mayor who happens to be Gay". There is so much more to Jackie than her sexuality. ”As one of many that volunteered, supported, and endorsed Jackie Biskupski for Mayor, I cannot understand why the words GAY, LESBIAN, HOMOSEXUAL is the first words to describe her, I urge everyone to get to really know a Mother, Sister, Daughter, Politician, Homeowner, Volunteer, Leader, Follower, MAYOR........She is so much more than her choice of who she LOVES, Thank You for letting me personally voice some of my thoughts about JACKIE.” My response to them and others was- “ I don't know where all this being upset that Jackie Biskupski is being referenced as a "Gay" mayor of SLC is coming from. Gay is not a disparaging word... Of course people are multifaceted but to say well Gay is only a part of who I am is like saying being a woman or man is only part of who I am... Every person I knew that was Gay but refused to acknowledge that ... had internalize homophobia and rode on the coat tails of those who were proud that they are Gay... When a magazine once called Troy Williams the Gay Mayor of SLC I never heard anyone complain about that and now that we have one for real... some are upset that the media has called Jackie the Gay Mayor. I am proud that she is called that. I voted for her because she knows my struggle. When Scott McCoy was in the Utah Senate and Chris Butters was using Gay as a slur ...Butters called Scott "The Gay". But rather than shrink from that title he had it put on his license plate. Senator James Dabakis doesn't shrink from the word Gay either because he doesn't let it define him ...he defines Gay... But he knows he is one of us. Of course Jackie is going to be known as a Gay Mayor at first by the sheer novelty of it as was the governor of Oregon who is Gay and known as the first Gay Governor... Would people be happier if she stayed in the closet? Obama was first known as the first African American President but is no longer referenced that because it's no longer a novelty but it was exciting for African Americans to have a person in the White House who understands their struggle. Assimilationists would strip us of our culture, history, and uniqueness as a people. Heterosexuals people are not us and homosexuals are not heterosexuals... We are not all the same... Equality does not erase diversity... When I see the words Gay Mayor I swell with pride to know how far we have come as a people... Because I know our struggle to get here.” Oh well I will be a diehard Gay Liberationist until my last breath even if everyone else has forgotten the value and gift of being born a Gay man. That is why I organized Gay Men Aloud for us to reconnect with our roots and not be swallowed up by assimilationists or by the faux politically correct LGBTQIA. When I hear people being referred to as an LGBT person I cringe. I am not a Lesbian, nor am I Bisexual, nor a Trans. The use of the term LGBT is just another way to make me invisible. In our last GMA meeting we discussed what ‘tribe’ or community means to us and the majority of my group felt Gay Men were a tribe.  There is another new group here called Men Who Move who can’t even use the word Gay…  who curiously started after we advertised GMA and they have patterned their activities after us. The difference is that Men Who Move is for 18+ year old gay, bisexual and transgender men.  I hope that works out for them. I am not sure how much a transman has in common with a homosexual. Maybe a bisexual could make it work since they say they have no preference for a penis or vagina LOL.  Well I guess I will end my rabble rousing and end this letter. As I have been  and ever will be Your friend Ben

 

6 November 2015 Friday

Me to Bill Poore Are you okay? You are awfully quiet today

·         Bill- Yeah fine been to store heading home  no energy

·         Me-Not to be kidding but maybe some Geritol or vitamin boosters might help

·         Charles Lynn Here are the large group captured notes from Monday night. Sorry it has taken me all week to get them typed up. Busy week, much going on. Good luck John [Bonner], if you have any questions don't hesitate reaching out. CLF

·         GMA Tribe and Community Monday Nov. 2, 2015 Group 1 Family Not being of the Mormon tribe, and those that are not/never mormon Religious and military strong. Common purpose and a goal, we may not have a common purpose any longer. Overall sense of purpose. Disconnect between young and older. Disconnect between lesbians and gay men. Group 2 Tribes is a connection. Earlier the gay bars is where tribes, then  organizations/groups, clubs. A feeling of belonging. Gay men themselves are a tribe, more so than any other group. Are we a “folk” as we were in history. Loss of a sense of community, lack of binding purpose.  Family—We used to call one another family as we came out, implies a tribe. Smaller groups can be tribes. We have a unique part of our group, people coming out later, there wasn’t a tribe to go toward. Group 3 Similar to other group’s comments.  Like the idea of tribe, basically depending on one another to survive. Roles that work together. Relationships are all very different. A tribe is something gay men come in and out of depending on their growth or phase of life. Tribe is safe, it exists, you can gain. It matters knowing that it is there. Group 4 My people, my tribe is not found at the Pride Festival. Utah’s LGBT community is fragmented, segregated, non-cooperative. GMA is a Tribe of the greater Queer community. The idea of there being an umbrella organization for all things queer—is not working. The Queer community needs to continue striving for greater recognition for the community to be stronger. Perhaps there needs to be a new model for creating community.  Queer Utah (largely it’s organizations) permeates an attitude of ego, self-aggrandizing, lack of humility, and a need to control all things queer, or very siloed and territorial.  The community needs a central place for information to be shared for all. Utah is unique in the fact that is has a strong LDS influence the promotes shame and hinders a healthy community.  Utah is also unique that is has many experiential paths that can cause a feeling of fracture in the queer community.  The internet and Google have helped many find their “tribe.” However generationally the queer community see the world very differently, based on growing up experiences.  Tribe still needs to exist for many reasons. Tremendous difference of opinion as to what a tribe should provide gay men. Tribe and organizations are not synonyms.  Tribes are most effective for the like-minded.  Our different queer interests often define tribe.

 

7 November 2015 Saturday

 

8 November 2015 Sunday

Matt Landis wrote “At this year's Pride we want to create  nostalgia and honor the history of the festival. What year did it begin? This article online claims 1977. Can you guys verify that? Thoughts?

·         Benedgar The first official Gay Freedom Day which is what Pride Day was originally called was in 1975 sponsored by the Gay Community Service Center although in 1974 Joe Redburn’s The Sun sponsored a Gay Freedom Day at Bare Ass Beach... I can verify this compared to all these guesses that other people put out there...1977 was the Gay Pride Weekend Conference held at the old Dunes... 1984 the Royal Court formed a Social Picnic ... In 1987 Gay Pride Day became a subcommittee of the Gay and Lesbian Community Council  and stayed there until it got its own nonprofit status... In 2003 the Gay and Lesbian Community Center absorbed Pride Day as a fund raising project for the center where it has remained...

·         Matthew Yes!  I knew you would know.  Thank you for sharing.  I would love to grab coffee with you some time along with our new festival director, Valerie, [Walker] and just chat if you're up for it.

·         Michael Aaron Hey Ben.  I just noticed you have your own hashtag on the Utah Pride Festival page.  Wasn't me.

·         Benedgar It wasn't me... I am not twitterpated on Twitter... I am too old to learn new fangle thingamajigs

·         Matthew lol. . . I think Valerie probably did it.  I was talking about you yesterday.  One of our goals this year is to bring back the core community that helped build Pride while trying to bring new people out.

·         Benedgar As ya'll build the future I will stay in the past where it's sweet and familiar. PS I gave Michael Aaron all my time line chronologies on histories that we mounted at Pride Day 2003 on large 6 foot displays ... They only go to 2003 because that's when they were made and the Center was never interested in displaying them or updating them ...

·         Matthew I think we still have them. I would love to update them. We've discussed doing some of partnership with The Leonardo and hosting an LGBT exhibit. I'll let you know what comes of it.

 

9 November 2015 Monday

I took Andy Dalrymple to lunch today because it was his 49th birthday and he had a hard year this year with the death of his best friend Jon Schild this summer. We went to Chubby’s over here in Rose Park for Mexican food. I bet we visited for two hours but it was not very crowded when we went after the lunch crowd. I think people need to know the real world consequences of this new LDS policy change and how it effects real people. It is needlessly hurtful and rather vindictive. I heard Jim Dabakis, someone I trust, say he believes that when the LDS Church needed to update their Bishop manual they simply used the same language they used for polygamist to deal with Gays. Polygamists are Apostates and now Married Gay people are Apostates. Children of Polygamists cannot join the LDS Church until 18 and now children of Gay Couples cannot join the church until 18. However what I feel they did not think through is that very few LDS people have polygamist family members while nearly every LDS family has Gay members. This new policy pits non Gay LDS family members against their Gay LDS family members. Too bad the General Authorities who approved this nefarious change were not as smart as Pogo who said We have met the enemy and it is us. Daisy, Buddy, Coco, and Lucky haven't moved all day...they are exhausted...Corky is like the Tasmanian Devil and wore them out...Bhanni is sweet and mellow the whole time here... But Corky is "who do you have fuck around here to get a drink? "

·         Kent Scadlock to me -Ben, I'm still planning on stopping by tomorrow to use your computer to create Monday's event on the GMA page. I've asked John for a bio to add to the event.

·         Me-Not going anywhere... Should be home all day... There was a guy wanting to join GMA who looked like he wasn't from here... Did you see that?

·         Kent-I'll come by around 11-ish. I did see that when I was at the hospital today. I thought the same.

·         Bill Poore-how are you doing? I heard Corky and Bhanni asked the courts that you get custody.

·         Me- LOL They do have fun with Auntie Ben... Life is a banquet... feeling any better?

·         Bill Rib still hurts a lot.

·         Me-What do the doctors recommend you do? Tape it?

·         Bill Have not been back just takes a lot of time

·         Me-Well stay in today and don't let the wind blow you down...it's gusty over here

 

10 November 2015 Tuesday

Kent Scadlock came over this afternoon to create an Event on Gay Men Aloud. He doesn’t have a computer and his phone doesn’t allow him to post a picture.  We had lunch and visited some. He also brought a coffee pot to use on movie nights. My gratitude for today is that I am grateful I am not having parent teachers conference this week or ever again. My financial advisor Tyler Ferguson called me today and wanted me to get into my Utah State Retirement Account and he mentioned to me that it was Parent Teachers Conference at Washington. You need to learn to leave the table when love is no longer being served-Nina Simone. The new Mormon idea of "family purity" is just as evil as "racial purity" in my opinion. “A folkish state must therefore begin by raising marriage from the level of a continuous defilement of the race and give it the consecration of an institution which is called upon to produce images of the Lord and not monstrosities halfway between man and ape" (Adolf Hitler Mein Kampf, Vol. 2, Chap. 2).Lets just put pink triangles on children of Gay Couples and be done with it. Then we will know who to ostracize for coming from an inferior family unit.

 

11 November 2015 Wednesday

Today is Veterans Day and I drove up to Bountiful to close my account but forgot it would be closed for the holiday. Tyler Ferguson wanted me to get into my Utah State Retirement account but I had to create a new account. My account number is W45824456 and user name edgarwilliams. Tyler wanted me to transfer funds into my core account. Other than working on John Williams my ancestor who lived in Isle of Wight Virginia I didn’t do much. In the evening Alan Anderson asked if  I want to go with him to see Tribe at the Salt Lake Acting Company. At first I said no but then reconsidered because I didn’t want Alan to go alone. Kyle said he wasn’t feeling feel and wanted to stay home. The play began at 7:30 and I did see Dan Fahndrich there. I really didn’t care for the play. I don’t think it was well written and the characters consisted of a dysfunctional Jewish family that yelled at each other a lot. Then there was the fact I was tired and my leg hurt so at intermission I came home just to be with my dogs.

·         Me to Bill-Thank you for your service on Veteran Day...did you go to the doctors to see about your spleen.? I think I am going in to urgency care tomorrow to see why my leg is so sore? I must have some infection because while I have been taking my insulin when I test my blood it's in the 200s when it used to be around 130... Also I have been waking up drenched in sweat and feeling clammy for the past 3 or 4 days... Btw Alan took me to see Tribes at SLAC tonight...I left during intermission...your Sarah Shippenbottom was in it.

·         Bill-get thee to the doctors, that all sounds bad. now I did not go to VA.  You should ask me before you go to play. Pioneer Theatre is safe, SLAC is to RA SHA SHA for you.  I did something for me on Veterans Day, I went to Wendover. I will call you tomorrow, go to the doctors, infection killed my mother and cousin Bobby, you can’t fuck with it. remind me to tell you the story of the guy in the photo with me, that shot was in SAN DIEGO but I also knew him in NYC

 

12 November 2015 Thursday

What a busy day. It started off this morning with Miss Daisy needing her undercarriage cleaned in the bathtub with the hose. She had a really dirty butt. Then around 9:30 I went off to Urgency Care see a doctor about my leg that was really sore and was not getting better during the past 10 days. Last week there was a bump right below my knee cap that was extremely sore. I thought it would go away but it's radiating down my shin... There's no redness or lesion so I have no idea what it could be but it hurts! I had x-rays taken but the doctor said I had a ligament sprain below my knee that I probably got from kicking the lug nuts loose last week when I had a flat. I was given a shot for the inflammation and a prescription for some pain pills. The cute doctor said for me to stay off my knees and I wanted to ask why? What have you heard? Ha! After dropping the prescription off I drove up to Bountiful to close my Horizon Credit Union that I've belonged to for 27 years. It originally was the Davis School District Credit Union. The gal who waited on me had never closed an account before so it took a while. Well that is done. When I came home I pulled up the summer squash that the frost had killed and cleaned out the flower beds of leaves. Cleaning up the garage I noticed my left wheel tire in the cruiser was real low.  I checked the air pressure and it had only 20 pounds air pressure. I drove around to try and find a place where I could get air but all the places I went to now charge a buck or more for air. Paranoid that I had picked up a nail that I couldn't see I drove back up to Woods Cross to Discount Tires to have them check the tire and air pressure of my other tires. who gave me a shot for the inflammation... They were super busy and said it would be two hours before they could get to it. Well what else do I have to do so I waited. While there I noticed that the Kmart across the street had been razed to rubble. That was amazing to see and later I learned that developers are planning to put in there a Smith’s Marketplace with eight surrounding retail and eating establishments. Any way when they finally got to me they said the tire could not be repaired because it had a nail next to an old patch but  because it's under warranty I got another free tire. So I have two new rear tires on the Cruiser and it only cost me $20 for the pair. Robert Edward Cross texted me that he had some lasagna he wanted me to have and since he lives in Bountiful I met him at Smiths and we visited for about an hour before I had to get home to take Coco over to Mikes. So I was pretty wiped out today and went to bed by 7 pm to watch some television although nothing seemed to interest me. I am very grateful today for friends who care about me. I got a letter from Kyle Foote today giving me his take on the news about the changes to the Bishop Handbook.

 

13 November 2015 Friday

I wrote my Lambda Lore column quickly this morning that was due yesterday and sent it in to the Q. It was about homophobia within the Mormon church. When I was done I saw a dead mouse on the floor. I suspected that I had a mouse or mice in the house now for a while, and now its confirmed.  Not sure who got it but probably Lucky did because he’s been sniffing around like he was on the trail of something. I think it or others are beneath the dishwasher because I am starting to see shreds of fiber glass insulation being scattered. Hmmm now how to get mice out of my house. Bill Poore wanted to go out for Chinese Food so we went off to Charlie Chow Chinese next to the Pride Center this afternoon and we gabbed for nearly two hours but it was the afternoon and not very crowded. It was his treat because he went to Wendover yesterday and came back with a couple of  hundred dollars. Yesterday Robert Cross gave me some delicious lasagna he had made so my friends are keeping me in good eatings. Coming back to the house I let Bill have the remaining Pain Pills I had because his rib is still hurting him pretty bad and he hasn’t gone back up to the VA to get a prescription.  It was a nice day, about 45 degrees so I cleaned the leaves off the veranda and deck in the backyard and then took a dip in the hot tub to sooth my lower back. Make hay while the sun shines as they say. My leg seems to be getting better from the shot I had for the inflammation although my lower back was sore from working in the back yard. So today I am grateful for Bill and Robert and modern medicine. I hear that there’s been a series of terrorist attacks in Paris although I haven’t heard the extent of it. The Mormon Church tried to clarify their change in the Bishop handbook after the shit storm they created. Still did the Old Dudes on North Temple think it through how the change in the rule book is going to affect missionary work? Are missionaries required now to inquire of whom they are proselytizing whether they might have a parent in a Gay Marriage or a spouse in a Gay Marriage? "Sorry your folks are Gay married so you can't be a member until you are 18 and dishonor your parents by saying their marriage sucks." What about a divorce woman whose ex is Gay married? Are the missionaries going to say to the mom "You can join but your kids... not so much. Sorry." I think Brent Marrott is deliberately being an ass... And trying to provoke me... Is he a lunatic? No one deleted his posts and no one set up "rules"... I think he's toxic... I notice his friend Doug Cartier left the group no big loss as he never came and probably never would...

·         Bill -are you aware of what happened in France today

·         Me-  No what happened?

·         Bill- major terrorist attacks,

·         Me-I guess I better listen to the news

 

14 November 2015 Saturday

It seems that if you are in solidarity with the French innocents who were murdered by Islamist Extremists there are people on FB who are offended that there seems to be no out pouring of support for other nations attacked by ISIS jihadists. Thousands have been murdered in Iraq, over 220 Russian Men women and children were murdered by being blown out of the sky... Now they are even threatening to attack Russia and "make concubines of your wives and slaves of your children." They murdered 43 innocent people in Beirut, and have attacked the countries of Egypt, Algeria, Yemen, Saudi Arabia, Turkey, Tunisa, Afghanistan, Canada, Denmark and even Texas. Still France is close to the hearts of Americans like no other nation because we owe our very existence to the French. Even the Statue of Liberty was a gift from the people of France.

The older I get the more I realized it's an honor to be disliked by certain toxic people. More and more news is coming out of Paris over the series terrorist bombings in France. Here in Salt Lake City there was a mass resignation from the Mormon Church at City Creek Park just kitty corner from the church office building. Andrea Dahl wrote this We attended the mass resignation today. We are close to the bottom in this photo. I was at the event to support my wife's decision to resign from the LDS church. Emotional messages were well delivered by the speakers. Our biggest concern is a high rate of suicide among the Utah youth, many of whom struggle with being disowned from their families for being gay. Now children of LBGT parents have to break ties with their parents to be baptized at 18 years old, instead of 8 years old. I seldom talk about religious issues on FB out of respect for the views of friends and extended family but this whole turn of events is taking discrimination to the bottom rung of the ladder, a new way to cleanse their church of people like me. WOW. I was brought up to believe God is unconditionally loving. That may be the words but not the actions of the predominant religion in Utah. There are many religions and communities here that are accepting of LGBTQ parents and Their children. Time for a healthy switch.

 

15 November 2015 Sunday

I am thankful for dreams... I had the most vivid dream last night of driving down the little two lane road, loaded with my pups even old Oscar, that led from Spade to Hart Camp, Texas to be greeted by my dear Grandma Johnson. We hugged and cried and told how we missed each other. Her face was as clear to me as ever I saw her and tears were rolling down her cheeks as we held each other again. I am thankful for these reunions that only come in my dreams  Very productive Sunday...I got all my baking done while working on my 95 page research project on my immigrant ancestor John Williams died 1692 in Isle of Wight County, Virginia. I made three loaves of chocolate chip pumpkin bread, which still needs to be glazed, and a loaf of sugar free banana bread. I then planted 75 tulip bulbs in the front yard flower beds. If I don't live to see them bloom in the spring someone else will enjoy them... Fixed the dogs their supper of chicken gizzards and mashed sweet potatoes. I am having some too with my supper only I sauté some squash and made polish sausage and cabbage... Well it's quitting time at Tara so everyone have a lovely evening and send good thoughts to all who are displaced and far from home this day. I know people have good intentions but sorry I don't think praying will make ISIS go away. In fact ISIS is also praying that you will go away with the help of bombs, automatic weapons, swords, and throwing people off buildings... ISIS is an ideology posing as a religion as was Hitlers National Socialism and Japan's militarized Emperor worship. In WWII our parents and grandparents prayed but also sang Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition... I think WWIII will be completely different than what we think...

 

16 November 2015 Monday

Well I was still in bed at 9:30 when I hear the doorbell ring. I thought that was weird but then I heard the garage door opening so I knew it was someone I knew so I hurried and got dressed and surprised to see Richard P. Butler. I thought he was coming over Tuesday but he said his father in law had been having some health problems and this was the best day to work on installing my new water heater. Never question a good deed he worked on it and we only had to replace one copper tubing. No it works like a charm. Rich said the person who installed the old one had broken a seal which had caused it to wear out way before its time. Yay hot water again. It took until about 1:30 and I took him to lunch at Chubby’s and I paid him $150 because I was grateful for him doing it for me. It was a very cold and damp day. When the wind was blowing it was fierce. I was up at the church to help set up for Gay Men Aloud. We didn’t have as many attend which I figured with the nasty weather. Gay Men Aloud's meeting is tonight at 6:30. Excited to hear John Bonner speak regarding tribes and to see everyone...Bundle up for tonight it’s gonna be chilly but the warmth of friendships made at GMA will keep us warm. There will be chocolate chip pumpkin bread and cookies tonight too.

·         Kent Scadlock -Are you good to go for tonight? I think I have everything I need.

·         Me-I think so... It’s gonna be a cold one

·         Kent- I just got John's bio so now I'm ready. Whew! See you at six!

·         Me-I made chocolate chip pumpkin bread and we still have cookies for refreshments. I wonder how many will come out on this cold windy night?

·         Kent- It'll be interesting to see who the diehards are.

·         Me-Dan Fahndrich sent me this message yesterday "On another note, I have only made one meeting (1st) and have been reading off and on (manly off), but what I do read is drama.  Am I missing something?  Value ?

·         One subject I would like to approach is men who want to date.  Do you feel it would be of interest to have a dating game or speed dating game ?  I am very interested in finding a man but very hard in the land of Zion and this group may not be the group for a non-Mormon in the dating mind set ?  thoughts ?”

·         Me to Dan -There are a few people who are not happy unless they are stirring up shit... They do it everywhere they go...it's tiring... You would think if they have issues with the group they would just leave... I think a dating game could be a fun idea not sure how it would work in the group as that not everyone one there is single... I view the group a place where people meet one another to feel comfortable enough to meet outside of the group...I have met some really nice guys who I've had over for dinner...I think the group is in its beginning stages and it will evolve

·         Kent-Hmm.. Interesting. Let's talk about this after the meeting. As far as the drama, it's too bad that two people (Brent and friend) are leaving that impression.

·         Kip Swann-John Bonner did an excellent job tonight! John is an excellent facilitator. It was obvious by how engaged the group was and the greatest thing at the end was when one of our brothers, who is fairly new to our world, said he felt very safe in the group. This is obviously the work of our wonderful leaders, Charles, Kent & Ben and then John was like the bonding agent that solidified how safe and sacred our space and group really is. Working from the Velvet Rage was brilliant! I remember reading this several years back in a Gay Men’s Book Club. OMG we got stuck on chapter 12 and I didn’t think we would ever pull through. Well we did and as a result, I to this day believe that was one of many books that bonded our group into a very trusting and strong group of men. Like tonight, these are the moments to hold on to…when we find ourselves surrounded by craziness in the world. Regardless of Hetero or Homo BS, the feeling of safety, security, trust and friendship we savored tonight is such a treasured and sacred gift. All you have to do is dismiss yourself from the crazy situation and find a quiet space and close your eyes and reflect on how safe and special our space was with our brothers tonight. Thank you Charles, Kent, Ben and John for creating such a wonderful space for our tribe.

·         Me- Thank you Kip. It's mainly the caliber of men who attend that makes Gay Men Aloud a safe place where while we may have various views, all are valued. Gay Men Aloud hopefully will always be an oasis where we as Gay Men can refresh our kindred spirits.

 

17 November 2015 Tuesday

It has been a historical day with Jackie Biskupski officially our Mayor Elect and will be taking the oath of office on January 4th 2016.  Mayor Biskupski's reception was held this evening at the Pride Center. Jim Dabakis wrote  “ History! A lesbian is Salt Lake City Mayor-elect! Yea, yea I know--it's just another Mayor. Please, just one day for generations of LGBT to celebrate how far our beloved city has come.” The Texas idiot Governor Abbott is refusing Syrian refugees... Utah's idiot Governor Herbert will allow them. If I am going to be governed by idiots I will live in Utah. America was founded by refugees and people seeking better opportunities. Few people know the fact that while Steve Jobs was born in California he was actually adopted, and his biological father was a political migrant from the Syrian city of Homs, now devastated by the civil war in Syria. The idiot Governors who are pandering by refusing these refugees will one day be seen as the countries that refused to take the Jews 75 years ago. The way some people talk about how we should turn away refugee children, you'd think our National Symbol was a Chicken -not an Eagle. America was founded by refugees, Utah was founded by refugees... The American Dream is not a country it's an ideology that all people have worth and should be treated with Justice and allowed the opportunities to achieve a good life. People who want to reject the Syrian refugees maybe should be careful for they might be rejecting another Steve Job. while Steve Jobs was born in California he was actually adopted, and his biological father was a political migrant from the Syrian city of Homs, now devastated by the civil war in Syria.

·         Leland Burns Ben, thank you very much for all of the effort that you have put into Gay Men Aloud. Your effort is most appreciated and hasn't gone unnoticed. BTW you looked great in your hat and scarf tonight. Thanks again, Lee.

·         Benedgar You are too kind... It's not much effort considering the pleasure I receive by associating with such great men. It keeps me connected to my core... I think that hat is fun...I found it at DI for a buck and keeps my bald head warm lol ...we should visit more

·         Leland Ben, it would be nice to visit more. I am great with people one-on-one but in a group setting I am overall reserved and quiet.

·         Benedgar Sometimes it's just fun and sit and people watch

 

18 November 2015 Wednesday

My columns are supposed to be about 800 words. I usually end up around 1200. I went overboard with 1700 so Michael split it into part 1 and 2. Which is great for me because I don't have to write a column again until Feb issue! Yay for me...for nearly 6 or 7 years I wrote a column twice a month when the Metro and Q were bi-monthly... You could teach a class just from all my columns I written over the years lol... Once a teacher always a teacher. I loved Uncle Scrooge comics as a kid and still do. I have a stack on them I collected for 20 years from 1974 until 1994 when they went from 20 cents to $1.50. I bought two that were double editions at $1.95 but after that I couldn't justify buying them anymore. I mainly just collected the ones that had stories and artwork by Carl Banks...my favorites were Land of the Pygmy Indians, Isle of the Golden Geese, Donald Duck in Ancient Persia, Donald Duck and the Golden Helmet, Donald Duck in Old California, and anything with the evil sorceress Magica deSpell

·         Me to Kent Scadlock-Hope you are good...I got a phone call from Michael Sanders about doing an event for Dec 1 AIDS day since no one else is doing one. I said I'd help and put it out to GMA to see who would like to be involved or attend...after all it's our generation that was most affected ... He's checking if the Pride center is available that Tues.. We are thinking have health depart and UAF involved, have a long butcher paper mural where people can write the names of people they lost and maybe a candle light memorial at the city county building ... What do you think

·         Kent-Ben, I like it and I'd be happy to help, too. I think it's a great way for GMA to provide service as well. Let me know what I can do. Also, if it's ok with you, I'm going to send a message to Charles and you to setup a meeting to plan our next quarter of meetings. Mostly to get ideas moving forward through March.

·         Me-Sounds good... February 29 is a 5th Monday also in fact I think all your months have an extra Monday

·         Kent-How lucky am I? Does Monday at 2 work for you? I'll keep it to an hour.

·         Me-Don’t have any plans

·         Kent-Perfect. I'll send a message and see what the response is. I just feel the need to move forward.

 

19 November 2015 Thursday

Busy day and I am pooped out... Filled three trash cans with yard waste mostly twigs and branches and leaves from the wind we had earlier in the week. This evening I made the crust for my lemon meringue pie I am making but only got the lemon juice squeezed before ran out of steam...did make an apple tart with left over pie dough. May need a new battery for the Cruiser. When I took Coco home, the car acted dead when I restarted the engine. Mike had a battery charger and it started right back up...my biggest fear is getting stranded with a car full of dogs... Got to get AAA back again... No kidding. Two years ago today I brought home one very sweet dog that I sprung from jail...he was picked up in West Valley on a vagrancy charge... He was in the pokey Until I paid his bail and brought him home to join Daisy and Buddy... Bill Poore named him Lucky but I am the Lucky one...he will not go to bed until I do... He has to be by my side always. Politician Randy Horiuchi died today at the age of 61. He was a good friend to our community passing an anti-discrimination ordinance for SL county.

·         Kent Scadlock Good morning! I have an idea. Can you all meet Monday afternoon around 2:00 at Cucina Deli in the Avenues? I thought we could move forward with GMA and do some planning for the next quarter (through March 2016). Anyway, let me know if that works for you. Thanks Kent.

·         Benedgar I can be there

·         Kent PS. I chose Cucina Deli because they have killer coffee cake, which I've been craving since I moved from the Aves.

·         Charles Lynn I can be there.

·         Kent Great! I'll see you both Monday. Thanks!!! I'll see you both at 2:00. Cucina Deli 1026 2nd Ave. Thanks!!!

·         Benedgar See you then

·         Bill-how is your leg doing

·         Me-Just waking up and having coffee.. you

·         Bill-ok just wished the fucking rib would heal.

·         Me-better still sore but not as much... didn't keep me from doing yard work and blowing leaves out from under the deck.

·         Bill- well good you are getting it done weather will not allow it much longer

·         and most of the leaves have dropped.  Are you going to your old neighbors for Thanksgiving like last year?

·         Me-No I am doing dinner at the house... For the usual suspects including you.

·         Bill-hey, I promise I was not looking for invite just checking to see if you and Mike was going to their place.  I had three invites but begged off.  Who you got coming over

·         Me-I put an event out just today... So just Mike but invited the usuals

·         Bill-I will come only if I can bring something.  I could  go buy fresh Marie Calendar pies the night before, fresh not frozen

·         Me-Sounds good

·         Bill how about banana cream. why are you making the pies lemon

·         Me- Tomorrow is movie night ... Meat loaf and lemon meringue pie

·         Bill - lemon pie is my favorite pie to bad I can’t hear, hearing aids are useless

·         Me-The VA has to do something... I will save you a piece

·         Bill- they will I just have to take them in and have my hearing tested again.  I just hate going through the process

·         Me -I know ... No fun...but not hearing is worse don't you think...

20 November 2015 Friday

I got my letter writing to Kyle Foote done this morning and then finished the lemon meringue pie. I then went to the Post Office and bought some more stamps. The Charlie Brown Christmas stamps are cute so I bought those. From there I went to Smiths when I bought four bags of water softener salt and filled the softener back up. Fun evening with a great gaggle of Gay guys over for dinner and a movie. Mike Romero, Alan Anderson, Andy Dalrymple, Kent Scadlock, Jay Vallar and Greg Allen came about 6:30 and we had a nice old fashion meal of meat loaf, mashed potatoes, cauliflower in cheese sauce, yellow squash and lemon meringue pie...going for a yellow theme lol...only exotic thing was sauté Portobello mushrooms in butter. I think the crust on the lemon meringue was a little tough and that disappointed me but everything else was great. Jay brought over stuffed bell peppers he made also and Andy brought a cinnamon pound cake. When we finished dinner and gabbing we poured into the movie room and watched Sunset Boulevard.  Alan, Jay and Greg had never seen it. It's not always the movie that makes for an entertaining evening but rather it’s a fun excuse to get together and laugh at them and hear classic lines in the context of the film... Besides William Holden is hot and in a bathing suit.. Most everyone left about 10:30 but Greg and Jay wanted to hot tub so I said go ahead while I cleaned up and filled the dish washer and hand washed the rest. Then they stayed until almost midnight with us just visiting. They are in their early 30’s so midnight is nothing for them but Now it's time for bed. Because tomorrow I am going to help the first Baptist prep for their Turkey dinner Sunday. Mike Romero is charging my battery. I hope that is all it needs.

 With all this outrage, well deserved, against the LDS Church's new policy of not allow children raised in married Gay households to become members no one blinks at the doctrine that women cannot go to heaven without a man taking her there be it her husband or unmarried her father no matter how righteous or spiritual she may be. And once there (if she gets there) she will spend eternity as any anonymous entity popping out spirit babies worlds without end.

·         Me to Bill Come over for dinner even if you don’t want to stay for the movie. Meatloaf, mashed potatoes, sauté' portabella mushrooms, cauliflower in cheese sauce and lemon meringue pie... there will be plenty for sure.

·         My Letter to Kyle Foote ·        Dear Kyle, I got your letter yesterday from the 15th so that was pretty amazing. I just now am sitting down to get a letter off to you this evening.  I am making a lemon meringue pie for tomorrow’s movie night. I have some guys over twice a month to watch movies that should be in all Gay men’s repartee if they want to banter with flair.  We are watching Sunset Blvd. “ I am big it’s the pictures that got smaller.”  I suppose you heard in the news by now that Biskupski won SLC’s mayor race officially and that Randy Horiuchi died today. He was only 61 years older. Younger than me by 3 years. He was a great ally and when he was county commissioner back in 1993 he passed the first Gay anti-discrimination act in Utah outside of the U of U’s policy. And now some 20 years later we have a Gay mayor in the largest city in Utah.  The LDS Church came out with a vague clarification on their anti-children stance. They mainly said that only children being raised by parents in a Gay relationship can’t become members. So if you are being raised by a Gay parent who is single or if you have a Gay parent in a Gay marriage but you aren’t being raised by them, then you can be a member.  It’s still not sitting well with many Mormons. Last Saturday there was a mass resignation of around 1500 people from the LDS Church at City Creek Park across from LDS headquarters. This issue is bound to become more divisive as time goes on.  Hardcore Eagle Forum type Mormons are jubilant but I think more rank and file Mormons are troubled but not enough to do anything about it.  When your whole core identity is welded to Mormonism it’s almost impossible to conceive of any other reality.  Many Mormons who have abandoned the LDS Church still call themselves Mormons because they identify with the culture they were raised in but not the theology.             I am conflicted myself because I left any belief in Joseph Smith as a prophet 30 years ago and I was not raised a Mormon although from 1972  until 1985 I was an ardent true believer, graduating from BYU and marrying in the SLC Temple. I am a real Apostate although as far as I know I am still on their membership list. I have thanked God that being Gay was the crack in the monolith of Mormonism from which I could crawl through to escape the cult-like hold it had over me. Even then I don’t hate Mormons only Mormonism’s ruthless behavior towards Gay people that is akin to persecution. When Mormons attack I attack back but otherwise I see much good in Mormon people despite the institutionalize homophobia that the leaders perpetuate.  My column I wrote for the Q for December has this theme of entrenched homophobia among the Octogenarians who were young men in the 1950’s and were highly influenced by Ezra Taft’s John Birch Society’s extreme anti-communist views and Spencer Kimball and Mark Petersen’s extreme anti-homosexual rhetoric.  Thank God they are dying off like Boyd Packer but until the Oaks, Neilsens and Ballards are gone I see no real change in policy. The Bishop Handbook does not reflect the mind of God but rather the collective consciousness of old men trying to hold onto a world that no longer exists.  For a Church that professes to believe in Eternal Progress they seem to despise change. This what I sent in to the Q but it was too long so Michael Aaron split it into Part 1 and 2 but here it is in its entirety. Homophobia is a word that is consistently misused by people to mean hatred of Gay people. This was not the original intent of the word as it was created as a clinical diagnosis for someone who has an irrational fear of homosexuals often acting out in aggression towards Gay people. If you simply hate Gay people you are not homophobic you are a bigot. The General Authorities of the Mormon Church, I do not believe are, on the most part, bigots or haters, but they suffer from a mental illness called homophobia. This irrational fear is akin to the old Gay Panic defense that some straight men used to justify violence against homosexuals male and female. For over seven decades the LDS Church has been at war with homosexuals stemming from the Mormon fear of Gay people not hatred. They couch this epic battle in terms of good versus evil, fearing that homosexuality will destroy the cornerstones of Mormonism:, Priesthood Authority and the heterosexual family unit. Many of the oldest leaders of the LDS Church grew up in the anti-communist and homosexual era of the 1950's and 60's and still have many of those prejudices that were enshrined in public discourse. An example of the hysteria of the era is a comment by the national chairman of the Republican Party that the New York Times reported in 1950.  He warned that the “sexual perverts who have infiltrated our Government in recent years” were “perhaps as dangerous as the actual Communists.”  From attitudes like this one, the association of homosexuals with subversion became linked in the public mind.  Until the 1950’s homosexuality among Mormons was treated benignly and was not considered the heinous sin it is made out to be today. In the 1940’s then Church President George Albert Smith even counseled two Gay men to “live their lives as decent and best” they could.  When his cousin Joseph Fielding Smith, the church’s patriarch, was found to be involved in a homosexual liaison with a young Mormon sailor, the Patriarch was simply released from his position and quietly exiled to Hawaii. Towards the end of President Smith’s life, in 1950, a music teacher at Ricks College, in Rexburg, Idaho was fired for having sexual relations with several male students.  J. Ruben Clark, counselor to George Albert Smith, simply advised local church leaders not to hold a Church court for the music teacher because “thus far we had done no more than drop them [homosexuals] from positions they held.” After the death of George Albert Smith in 1951, the new church president David O McKay set a decidedly different course on what he considered sexual immorality. At April Conference 1951, the headlines of the Deseret News proclaimed, “David O. McKay  “Sounds Battle Cry Against Vice.”  McKay warned at general conference of “the corruption of cities as growing from the actions of a handful of individuals.”  Still, within the church membership, those found to have participated in homosexual activity were mainly counseled and not punished. About this same time, the editor of the Brigham Young University’s student newspaper, the president of the LDS married branch, and a star basketball player were outed as members of “a small group of homosexuals.”  Rather than being expelled, Dr. Ray R. Canning of the Sociology Department, the counseling center, and the Dean of Women Students were asked to work with these students. Even Stephen L Richards, counselor to David O McKay instructed a mission president in October 1951 not to excommunicate a missionary elder for the “superficial charge” of fondling the genitals of three young men, ages twelve to thirteen. Richards said the missionary was only “guilty of a great indiscretion.” The church’s position on homosexuality radically changed by the 1952 October General Conference the following year,  J. Reuben Clark, counselor to David O McKay publicly warned of  the “ great influence” nationally of Gay men and was the first General Authority to publicly discuss the subject of homosexuality since 1897. Clark even was the first General Authority to publicly acknowledge the existence of Lesbianism. In an address entitled “Home and Building Home Life”, Clark stated “the person who teaches or condones the crimes for which Sodom and Gomorra were destroyed- we have coined a softer name for them than came from old; we now speak of homosexuality, which is tragic to say, is found among both sexes… Not without foundation is the contention of some that the homosexuals are today exercising great influence in shaping our art, literature, music, and drama”.  The Mormon Church was no doubt reflecting the public’s general fear of the spread of Communism. One of the greatest segment of the population to act as scapegoats for this mass hysteria were homosexuals. In 1953 The Deseret News headlined “107 Fired in State Department” a story regarding the U.S. State department initial firing of homosexuals as security risks. Eventually President Eisenhower signed an executive order banning all homosexuals from government employment. Homosexuals were by now demonized as subversive perverts and a danger to National Security and the American Way of Life.  This shift in perception of homosexuals as being harmless unfortunates, to be pitied not loathed, was a product of Senator Joe McCarthy, Roy Cohen, and J Edgar Hoover's machinations, all of whom were closeted homosexuals.  The year 1953 also saw Utah reduce consensual sodomy from a felony to a Class B Misdemeanor in 1953. Sodomy or the “Crime against Nature”, defined as heterosexual and homosexual anal intercourse, became a felony in Utah Territory in 1876. As a felony it was punishable by imprisonment for not more than 5 years. Later in 1907 the punishment was changed to three to twenty years imprisonment. In 1923 heterosexual and homosexual oral sex were added to the sodomy statute, thus criminalizing most sex acts outside of penis and vaginal sex regardless of sexual orientation or gender of the persons involved. The Utah State Legislature, rather than being enlightened regarding human sexuality, changed Sodomy from a felony to a Misdemeanor only to increase convictions of homosexuals. Utah judges were unwilling to sentence people to prison for up to 20 years for consensual sex, therefore the punishment for Sodomy was changed to allow for more incarcerations in jail. One of the most damaging events to cement the idea in the minds of the public that homosexuals were a danger to society was the 1955 Boise Idaho sex scandal. “Three Boise Men Admit Sex Charges” was the headline of the Idaho Daily Statesman which began a series of investigations of sexual relationship between men and boys and male prostitutes which also included some Mormons. This salacious public disclosure created a witch hunt atmosphere within the homosexual communities of the intermountain west, including Utah.  The atmosphere in Salt Lake City became absolutely toxic for homosexuals when arch-conservative and anti-Communist Cleon Skousen became Chief of Police in 1956. He immediately instigated a sweeping pogrom targeting homosexual gathering places and instilled in the public mind the perception that homosexuals were pedophiles. Perhaps the most insidious action on the part of Skousen was having men arrested for homosexuality then committed to Utah’s State Hospital to be examined for mental illnesses. “In an effort to stem the increasing reports of molestation in Salt Lake City, Police Chief W. Cleon Skousen, Friday, issued orders to charge suspects under state law rather than with violation of city ordinances. In this way Chief Skousen said a conviction would enable authorities to commit offenders to the Utah State Hospital for life if medical examinations showed then mentally ill.”  Until 1974 homosexuality was classified as a mental illness. In an attempt to eradicate homosexual activity in the city in 1957 the Salt Lake Tribune also reported “In an effort to stem an “alarming increase” in cases involving homosexuals, Salt Lake City Judge Marcellus K. Snow plans “more use of the jail sentence to curb such offenses.”  The judge explained that certain places in the city are widely known as “Mecca’s for sexually maladjusted persons.” By the end of the decade the Mormon Church had radically changed how it perceived homosexuality. It alarmed church leaders how many prominent married members were being arrested in Skousen’s “Moral Drive” to crush homosexuality.  Thus for the first time the Mormon Church began to address the issue of homosexuality within its ranks. In 1959 LDS President David O. McKay assigned the Mormon Apostles Spencer Kimball and Mark E. Peterson to specifically counsel Gay men to overcome their “homosexual problems “. McKay said to Kimball, “homosexuality was worse than heterosexual immorality; that it is a filthy and unnatural habit.” At the same time church leaders were alarmed at “the growing problem … of homosexuality” at Brigham Young University and met with the Church Board of Education, and the school’s president.   Shortly after the meeting the church owned university began a dubious practice called “aversion therapy” to cure the same sex desires of Mormon males. BYU’s mental health counselors, Mormon bishops, stake presidents, and BYU’s Honor Code standard’s office referred or remanded young men with “homosexual tendencies” to this program. Aversion therapy entailed punishing Gay men for getting an erection at the sight of a male body with a 1,600-volt impulse to the arm for eight seconds.  This torture went on for years enhanced in the 1960’s by school president Ernest L Wilkinson who viewed homosexuals as contaminating the university. It is claimed that Mormons have an ingrained persecution complex that stems from the earliest days and is sustained by the church to maintain a sense of specialness among the Mormon people. It also causes Mormons to fear outsiders. While Mormons have made peace with Gentiles and People of Color, homosexuals are seen as the ultimate outsiders. The majority of Mormon people are good people trying to do what their leaders tell them. Sustaining Priesthood authority is part and parcel of oaths and covenants Mormons take in Temple ceremonies so that the family unit can be everlasting.  Within this context, I truly believe that most Mormons do not hate Gay people but have been conditioned by decades of endless defamation of homosexuals over the Conference Pulpit to instill a fear of us as enemies. Boyd K Packer solidified that view by lumping homosexuality  with feminists and intellectuals as enemies of the church. The reality is that Mormon leaders have fossilized the idea that dissent equals apostasy. I fear that Mormon leaders are so entrenched in their seven decade misguided homophobic crusade against homosexuals that they are immune to the pain and suffering inflicted on Mormon families. Perhaps they see the suicides, rejections, and loss of faith of its members as collateral damage to insure ecclesiastical purity from the contamination of homosexuality. This is truly homophobia. So there you have my column for December and January.  As I said before I am conflicted because while it disappoints and angers me that LDS General Authorities would single out children of Gay parents to use as leverage to keep LDS Gays from marrying, I know this is not the general feeling of Mormon people who see this as wrong and yet are taught to sustain the “Brethren” and speaking ill of them is a sign of apostasy.  I “excommunicated” the LDS Church in 1986 when I took my garments, priesthood lineage, patriarchal blessing, and membership certificates and threw them in the dumpster behind my old apartment on 4th South and 6th East.  I have never regretted it.  My initial dissatisfaction with the LDS Church came in 1985 when they excommunicated a 26 year old Gay kid who was dying of AIDS. He went to the church to seek comfort and solace as he was dying and he received excommunication, the ultimate rejection.  They knew that he would die in the state of excommunication.  This story made the national news back then and it broke my heart that my church was so mean spirited.  It was also in 1985 that Salamander Letter scandal broke wide open with the Hoffman bombings in SLC. He managed to scam these “prophets and seers and revelators” who God supposedly talked to. Ultimately there were nothing more than corporate businessmen trying to protect the image of their product. A religion based on a scam is still a scam no matter how hard one wishes to believe the scam to be true.  Well enough of that.  Dry your tears and move forward.  What is the saying,? “When love stops being served its time to leave the table.” No one can keep you from connecting with your place in the universe and the goodness that flows through it but yourself.  As the Quakers understand so completely, the light of God is in all people and its only up to us to turn it on or off. Chinese food ehh? That is the one thing I have never been able to cook. I’ve tried but it’s easier just to go out and enjoy it elsewhere. I love stuffed green peppers and made some myself a few weeks ago. What I really like are cabbage rolls. Yum. I hope you get to be the tutor in March. You would be so good at it. You are going to be missing all that good food after this semester ends. Enjoy it while it lasts. I am going to the first Baptist tomorrow to help them prep for their thanksgiving meal they are having Sunday. I will also help them serve too so the Baptists can eat with their families. They have been good to Gay Men Aloud, letting us use their cultural hall for free for our meetings although I gave Dennis McCracken $100 out of my own pocket to show my appreciation. The month of December is my turn to run the group. Our December 7th group discussion will be on how not to have a Blue Blue Christmas or if you prefer "the horrendous holidays".  This is what I wrote in the description of the event, “It's supposed to be the most wonderful time of the year--but the holidays can be packed with stress for Gay Men. Managing difficult family relationships or even being left alone at the "most wonderful time of the year" can provoke depression and anxiety. Let's figure it out together.” "Some of the secret joys of living are not found by rushing from point A to point B, but by inventing some imaginary letters along the way."- Douglas Pagels I also planned a pot luck for November 30th  for Gay Men Aloud to get people together to socialize. Just a soup and dessert kind of event. Easy Peasy to put together.  Charles and I are still not communicating but it has not affected the group at all because no one knows except for Kent Scadlock our third facilitator, who was there when Charles unloaded on me.  He is never there to help set up the meeting so Kent and I come early to set up chairs and I bake homemade treats for the refreshments. Ive made Banana Bread, Sweet Potato Bread, and Pumpkin Chocolate Chip bread at different times. Charles comes right before the meeting is to begin and gathers his entourage around him and after the meeting never mingles and welcomes people but waits for them to come to him… He and I have diametrically opposed views on how to grow a group and build a community. He does it for the accolades.  No accolades no service. Kent is more like me and wants to be of service. We have about 40 men coming on a regular basis. Speaking of service, Michael Sanders asked if I would help with World AIDS Day, December 1st.  No one in the community, the Pride Center nor the Utah AIDS Foundation, is doing anything to commemorate the Day so we are taking it upon ourselves to do it.  We got the Pride Center to let us have their basement space and Sanders is bringing in the Health Department and I am putting up a bulletin board of butcher paper so people can sign the names of loved ones lost to AIDS.  Although AIDS is a chronic disease and not a fatal disease anymore it impacted my generation completely  but not so much this younger generation which is why I think no one is doing anything about it and that it’s not a “genderqueer” issue. I plan on cooking thanksgiving dinner at the house for the usual strays who have no place to go. Just a small bunch, however, about 8 people. I don’t remember if I wrote you that the water heater went out, actually it was installed wrong and that caused it to corrode out faster than it should have. But Rich Butler came over and installed the new one for me. He’s installed many over the years.  He’s good to me and this time I insisted that he take $150 from me for fixing it. Works like a charm but after he left I noticed that my door to the garage won’t close completely. I couldn’t see anything that would block it but when I had Mike look at it we saw that the bottom was catching on the threshold on the floor.  We must have moved it slightly or something when hauling in and out the water heaters. Ugh so another thing to fix. It closes just won’t shut completely.  Also I don’t know if I wrote you that a week after replacing the right rear tire for free I noticed my left tire was low. I took it in to Discount Tires and it too had a nail in it and since it was near an old patch they couldn’t fix it and I got another free tire. So my Cruiser has two new tires on it that only cost about $10 each to mount them.   I will do my best to come see you this winter. Only being able to come down Friday through Monday limits the windows of opportunity. I come down for me as much as for you. It makes my old heart glad to see you. Well I will write more later but want to go to bed and get this letter in the mail. As I ever was and ever shall be Your friend Ben

 

21 November 2015 Saturday

Went up to the First Baptist Church because I committed to help with some of the prep work for tomorrow’s Thanksgiving Dinner. Jay Vallar, who is Greg Allen’s friend, Robert Cross, Kent Scadlock and I all helped from about 10 a.m. to 1 pm.  Actually it was kind of fun putzing around in the kitchen with Ken Burnett who is a chef or was one directing us. Didn’t do  much else today but some wash. I read this somewhere back in college days and don't know who said it but I believe it and always thought it odd that Mormons use the term morals as a synonym for sexual behavior rather than being ethical. But then Mormons have always had an obsession with sex. "To equate morals with sex is the product of a prurient mind." I saw in the news that  Carol Gnade is the new acting director of the Pride Center. New Director of the Pride Center... She use to be director of Utah's ACLU, president of the Board of Directors of the Pride Center and founding member of the women's music festival in Southern Utah. Buttermilk Biscuit Recipe 2 cups all-purpose flour 21/2 teaspoons baking powder 1/2 teaspoon baking soda 1 teaspoon salt 2 tablespoons vegetable shortening or lard 1 cup buttermilk How to make it :Preheat the oven to 450°F. Lightly grease a cast iron biscuit baker or baking pan and set aside. Place the flour, baking powder, baking soda, and salt in a mixing bowl. Cut in the shortening with a pastry blender or 2 forks until the mixture resembles coarse meal. Add the buttermilk and stir until a soft dough is formed, about 25 strokes. Transfer the dough to a lightly floured surface and knead until smooth, about 10 times. Roll to 1/2-inch thickness. Cut with a 2-inch cutter and transfer to the prepared pan. Bake 13 to 15 minutes or until golden brown. Serve hot.

 

22 November 2015 Sunday

I was at the First Baptist to help with their Thanksgiving Dinner by 9:00 am. I donated two cutting boards that I never use and some extra peelers. Kent Scadlock didn’t make it today probably had a lot of family issues to deal with but we had Jay, Greg Allen, and Robert and so Gay Men Aloud were well represented. They place was swarming with help so it didn’t matter that Kent couldn’t make it. I was put on apple peeling and dicing duty for the dressing. I did 4 dozen apples and I have a bruise on my right index finger to prove it. Actually it felt pretty good being of service and working in a big kitchen again. Ken Barnett was in charge of it all and he was a great coordinator. People started coming in to eat about 12:30 and we stayed in the kitchen to keep the food hot and coming so the Baptist could eat with their families. Greg went and brought Chuck Whyte to the dinner and others from GMA I saw there were John Cooper, Courtney Moser, Kelly Byrnes, and Dennis McCracken which I asked if it would be a problem having a pot luck the 30th at the church. I guess I should have asked earlier but there wasn’t a conflict. I nibbled on a little turkey and dressing but didn’t sit down to eat. I was all over by around 1:30. I think we fed around 200 people. Between Saturday and Sunday GMA put in about 32 hours of service and at just $10 an hour that is over $300 worth of donated labor ... We let the Baptists know how grateful we are that they allow us to meet in their facility. Tired from being on my feet in the kitchen doing prep work and a lot of chopping. The 1st Baptists are a Gay affirming church and lets us use their cultural hall for our meetings... So it was nice that Greg Allen, Joel Jay Vallar, Robert Edward Cross, Kent Scadlock, and I went down to help out and show our appreciation... Service to others is a good thing... I was too tired to fix supper so made me some buttermilk biscuits with pumpkin butter...going to call it a day ... Hope everyone had a fun productive day... We are never getting this one back.

·         Bill to me -was today that dinner at the church, that you chopped for

·         Me-Yep ...

·         Bill-4 dozen apples? THAT is a lot of apples, went over ordered and paid for banana pie pick up wed

·         Me-Yep peeled them cored them a chopped them up, and celery and carrots, and then helped serve...

·         Bill-were there any cute hungry boys

·         Me-A few

·         From my friend Erick Myers update from Belgium...Message to All My Facebook Friends from Brussels, Belgium: By now, you have heard on all the news channels (even Faux News), that Brussels is in a state of lockdown, and some of you have asked me if I'm OK. Apparently, Brussels security forces are still looking for terrorist suspects in the city. They believe there is an imminent possibility of a terrorist attack of the magnitude that happened in Paris--here in Brussels. As a practical matter, this means that the underground metro system is not operating, nor are any of the tramlines that run underground. Busses are still operating normally in most cases. Yesterday, the shopping malls and many shops and restaurants were closed, even here in my neighborhood, which is about 3-4 miles from the center. The closings and lack of public transportation continue today. Most people are simply staying home or are using their cars. But there is very little traffic. Places that are normally popping with people are quiet and only inhabited by tourists who had the bad luck to choose this weekend as for their visit to Brussels.  The only impact the closings have had on me is that I didn't go grocery shopping yesterday, so I am digging into my pantry and for dinner tonight, I will have homemade chili with pinto beans and lots of cumin and oregano. News programs here have the usual mix of public officials and representatives of local ethnic groups (in this case, leaders of the Muslim community), arguing with each other about what should be done--all in French, of course. So, I have had a good immersion in trying to understand the conversations. BBC news, among others, is following the developments every half hour, updating their reports. And so, I can also receive some information in English, which is helpful. Bottom line: I am ok and looking forward to getting back to work tomorrow. Which I will do, whether public transportation is running or not. smile emoticon All the best from Erick in Brussels.

 

23 November 2015 Monday

 I had a Gay Men Aloud Meeting with Kent and Charles today. I think Americans should go back to smoking. Seems like people have gotten cranky and ornery since people stopped smoking. Nothing says Thanksgiving like Pabst Blue Ribbon.

 

24 November 2015 Tuesday

Gay Men Aloud agreed to host a remembrance wall at the December 1 World AIDS Day event at the Pride Center.

·         Chris Johnson I think America is much more at risk from radicalized Americans than radicalized Muslims. People indoctrinated right under our noses, not in mosques. You know you've been radicalized when you believe children should be punished for the acts of people you've never met, when you believe that 1/5th of the earth's population is inherently evil, when you believe that all members of a certain ethnicity, religion, creed or nationality are evil, when you increasingly view complex issues in overly simplistic, black-and-white terms, when you generalize the acts of a few to represent the minds and hearts of many, when you believe the best way to change a person's mind is to kill them, when you believe innocent victims are dangerous and that people trying to escape death may be infected with evil, when you are willing to trade away your own liberties to protect you from your fears, when you fear children, widows and the elderly, when you think you can bomb your way to peace, when you cannot imagine your enemy being a son or daughter or having children of their own, when a hundred eyes for an eye seems like justice, when compassion, forgiveness and empathy become unpatriotic, when you believe the only solution to violence is more violence, when you have strong opinions about people you have never met and whom you know virtually nothing about, when you believe the proper punishment for any crime is death.

·         My Foreign Correspondent in Brussels Erick Myers Halfway through our 4th day of shutdown in Brussels. Except for the trams and metros not running, and there being no school children on playgrounds, people seem to be carrying on as normal. My company is closed again today, and may be tomorrow, too. So, all of us have been working from home (more or less) for these two days. I don't feel in any particular danger, but it is a bit boring with restaurants and stores in the center of town shut down. Security authorities have announced they have now arrested 22 people suspected of terrorist activities. And they say they have credible evidence that a Paris-style attack was on schedule for Brussels. Several similar attempts have been dismantled before they happened here in Belgium, so I'm glad the security people are hard at work. Stay tuned to see what happens next... Erick in Brussels.

 

25 November 2015 Wednesday

I took Chuck Whyte to the airport at noon because he is spending Thanksgiving in Las Vegas with his brother’s family. Then Fought a losing battle against the wind and the leaves...got my drive way cleared and most of the front yard but then the wind came up and my driveway is filled with globe willow leaves again...just got my veranda and deck cleared before the rain started...the temperature is dropping fast so probably get snow out of the storm...I hate wet leaves under the snow but you can't fight Mother Nature. Homemade cranberry sauce done; Corn bread dressing done waiting to be baked; Pumpkin pie made; Sugar free banana bread done. Tomorrow ... Season turkey from herbs from the garden and roast Make cheesy biscuits Buttered corn, Candied baked sweet potatoes and yam, Fried okra, Make gravy, Celery with cream cheese, Black and green olives, Others are bringing the mashed potatoes and another pie....Thanksgiving Bring it on!

 

26 November 2015 Thursday Thanksgiving

I am thankful for the abundance I have and the health to share Thanksgiving with some friends today... It’s a joy to be cooking in the kitchen this morning. It reminded me of my grandma and aunts busy preparing a feast for their families long ago. They are all gone now but the memories live on. In my house you won’t find fine China or crystal or fancy linen napkins... hell you will be lucky to find plates and glasses that match... but there will be plenty of old fashioned country cooking to eat and friends to share it with. So many are spending Thanksgiving far away from loved ones or are refugees from their homelands. It is a time to be grateful. If any of my SLC Facebook friends need a place to go for a home cook meal... message me and I will send you my address to the House of the Barking Dogs. Eating around 2 pm. There's always an extra plate. Well Turkey is roasting, did all my prep work, celery and cream cheese, black and green olives, black cherry jello fruit salad, all done this morning. Cheese biscuits, corn bread dressing, and butterscotch sweet potato and Yam medley...just waiting to be popped in the oven closer to 1. Buttered corn, candied carrots, and green beans with crispy bacon just waiting to be reheated in the microwave. I will fry the breaded okra and yellow squash right before company comes and then make the gravy. Made the pumpkin pie yesterday. I have 7 Up and Cranberry juice to drink plus I have white zinfandel wine and Wild Turkey Whiskey and of course coffee...Now to clean up the kitchen a bit and straighten the house up. You can have dogs or you can have a clean house but you can't have both.... mom said children but I say dogs... Robert Cross, Michael Romero, Andy Dalrymple, and Bill Poore came over for dinner. Everyone else had places to go. Company all gone, left overs packed away Thanksgiving 2015 now a memory except for the flowers Bill Poore brought over that I can enjoy for some time. I sent Bill home with some Banana Bread from a new recipe.

·         Me to Bill- Andy just left so going to bed ... Everyone loved your pie, no one ate the pumpkin... I had a good time I am glad you did too...

·         Bill -I wished I taken pumpkin instead of banana

·         Me-I wrapped it and put it in the refrigerator downstairs...

·         Bill-did Andy drive there

·         Me-Yes but he just needed to rest and visit...I think he's lonely

·         Bill- what does he do

·         Me-Disability was a computer technician

·         Bill-banana bread is great,

·         Me-Good... It was a sugar free recipe

 

27 November 2015 Friday

Drama and trauma at the House of the Barking Dogs. It was groomer day and Stephen Bolinder came about 12:30. He has been grooming them for years but they act like they have never seen him before and that he's the grim reaper. He's really good with them but doing 4 dogs makes for a long day for him. Then poor Buddy's anal glands burst and there was blood everywhere. It was not painful for him but I wrapped him in a towel and just held him for about a half an hour until the blood stopped flowing. Poor Bill Poore came over to eat Thanksgiving left overs and had to suffer through my triage with Buddy. Could not been too appetizing because he decided to take his food to go LOL. When Mike Romero came over to pick up Coco after she was groomed I sent home a ton of food with him too. I hate having a frig full of left overs so glad to send it all packing. PS Buddy is find now but was a bloody mess. Sweet old dog. Like me all my old dogs are starting to have issues. It’s a short life but a sweet one.  It was a $160 dollar day and I gave a $10 tip too. The next haircut is in February.  Read an article that Scientists trace all blue eyes people back to a single mutation 10,000 years ago. Another Christian terrorist attacked a Planned Parent Office in Colorado Springs killing several persons. Well if over 50 percent of Utahns think Ben Carson is mentally stable to be President then this would explain a lot...is living in an alternate reality considered a mental illness?

 

28 November 2015 Saturday

Just a Skiff of snow out here in the River District of Westpointe as Babs DeLay would say. All the pups huddled and cuddled with me all night and we slept in until 8:30! Buddy is fine now but I hugged him all night and petted him. I made potato pancakes out of the last bit of the delicious, mashed potatoes that Robert Cross brought over for Thanksgiving and other than that all the left overs are gone sent home with various friends. The pumpkin pie I made still hasn't been eaten so will just bring it to a pot luck I am going to on Monday. Anymore Christian Terrorist shootings over night that I should know about? My Armenian Ward Levon came over this afternoon bearing a pizza and we spent the rest of the day catching up with his life. It's been nearly three years and he still hasn't been granted asylum but at least he has his work authorization which has to be renewed each year for nearly $400. He needed to borrow  $380 to pay for the renewal, But he’s happy to be in America and has grown so much. We watched a funny movie with Melissa McCarthy in it called SPY... before he came over I put up my Xmas lights and took down Thanksgiving decorations. Fall is over bring on the twinkling lights. Picking up Chuck Whyte this cold night at the airport... It's 21 degrees out. Olene Walker, the first female governor of Utah, has passed away at the age of 85. It was a crime how the GOP bosses swept her aside. There are 8 recognized families of fairies- Elves, Dwarves, Pixies, Gnomes, Gremlins, Goblins, Sprites and Daemons. So let’s examine the hard cold facts. Santa lives in isolation with all these other elves who play at the North Pole making peppermint sticks. Having no kids of his own Santa spends his entire time making gifts to make kids happy. He understands bullying and turns a reindeer's defect into something to celebrate. He wears black boots and carries a whip but never hurts anyone with it. He doesn't mind being a big old bear and wearing red flannel. He has a twinkle in his eye because he knows who's been naughty. And IF there is a dubious MRS Claus she's either his hag or beard so that "Christians" can retain the myth of heterosexuality and not have to worry about a strange man sneaking into their houses in the middle of the night down the chimney to spy on their kids to see if they are fast asleep and dreaming of sugar plum faeries. Still all Santa wants to do is leave presents in exchange for some cookies and milk because he is such a sweet guy. I put it to you...If Santa Claus is a jolly old elf and an elf is a type of faerie ergo Santa is Gay!

 

29 November 2015 Sunday

Busy day went shopping for stuff for a pot luck tomorrow and stuff for World AIDS Day that is Tuesday...then came home and got all my Xmas lights and outside decorations and boy was it chilly. Only about 25 degrees here. I notice that the dogs have all been wanting up on the bed at night even Daisy due to the cold. They have been sleeping in too.

·         Me to Kent-Haven't heard from you for a while... Hope you have a restful Thanksgiving but knowing your big heart probably not...lol I have to go to Walmart ugh to get some blood sugar measurers and I thought I'd pick up some plastic bowls, plates, napkins and utensils for tomorrow's pot luck... I am bring taco soup, Kip is bring turkey chili, I have a couple of pies and I guess we will see who shows up .... Call me later just to chat... Want to see how you are doing. Ive asked Alan Anderson, and Lon Breedan who have agreed and I asked Kip Swann, and your friend Michael Berry to facilitate for December 7. I sent an email to Kip and I will see him tomorrow but Michael and I are not FB friends so he might not see my message since it will go to the "other" message box.

·         Kent to me -Hi ya! I just tried calling and your voice mail is full. Sounds good for facilitators. Ill mention it to Michael. I can plan on bringing bread and some kind of dessert tomorrow. Anything else you need let me know.

·         To Lon Breeden Lon would you consider being a facilitator at the December 7th GMA meeting? If you do I will send some info so all the different groups are kind of on the same page. I know it kind of depends on the weather if you can make it. The topic is on Holiday Blues and depression.

·         Lon I will be glad to be there and to help out. I will work up some questions and subtopics.

·         Benedgar Cool...kind of want people to discuss feelings about the holidays, what to look for in friends that might be lonely at this time and explore activities. Clinical depression is an entirely different critter... kind of want to dwell on seasonal depression or light deprivation  but whatever way the discussion goes is fine. I believe in being organic... And Thanks

·         Lon I have a degree in psychology and started a master's in clinical psychology, so I have some training about it.  And suffer from depression and ADHD. I will be glad to follow your wishes.

·         Benedgar Well I guess my intuition was good...you are the man... You are far more adept at this so just follow your good heart

·         Lon I will Ben.

 

30 November 2015 Monday

I was cooking soup all day and made a Chicken Gumbo Soup and a Taco Soup. I also brought the pumpkin pie that no one ate at Thanksgiving. I picked up Chuck at 5:30 because I wanted to get there in plenty of time to set up. Alan Anderson and Michael Romero was there early too so they helped set up tables.  Terrific turn out for Gay Men Aloud’s first pot luck. We had 25 people who ventured out including four new men. Even our Las Vegas correspondent Doug Murri was in town & joined us. There were Plenty of good homemade soups, breads, and desserts. TJ made a delicious Japanese cheesecake. We started at 6:30 with an icebreaker where I had everyone pair up and each person had to find out 3 things about each other and then introduce themselves. I learned so much about the men in the group like who were retired school teachers, who liked genealogy and that someone was actually born in Paris! France! not Idaho!  There is a great bunch of men for sure. It was telling to me though of who didn’t show up but rather went to the Utah AIDS Foundation’s 30 Anniversary soiree that honored Babs DeLay of all people… It seemed that some would rather be a List event and be seen than meet and socialize with down home folks. Even Kip Swann who said he was bringing soup was a no show and went to the UAF event instead that cost $30 a head. Of course I knew Charles Frost would be there. Well we had fun at GMA and ate and visited and ate some more before winding down about 8:30.  Tom Folks said that this is what he was hoping GMA would do because at regular meetings there’s not a lot of time to socialize and some men actually leave as soon as the meeting is over. Thanks to all who put away chairs and tables and helped close down... Hope to see those we missed at next Monday's meeting...

·         Me to Kent Scadlock -Wil Mejia that cute new kid posted this after the pot luck... I thought it was hilarious...He’s a good kid..   "(Warning some people may find this offensive if you get offended easily stop reading now.) I just got home from a gay friendly pot luck. When I first saw all the people there I thought " My gush is this really a gay friendly pot luck!, almost everyone here looks like they are almost going to die soon from old age LOL!" Okay that was my first impression being the youngest person in that pot luck but the people where really nice. Got informed of a religion that you can believe or not believe in a God and its gay friendly and the main point is to get a sense of unity whatever your belief might be. Got reminded by 3 different people about the Mans choir for gay or gay friendly people. Now that I got a somewhat stable job I can make time for it and forgot that I wanted to try it out a couple of months ago. Was told that they have about 96 singers and only about 6 off the male singers are straight and that the rest are gay. So if I join I would kill two stones with one throw. One is that I missed church singing and hearing my voice vibrate with other people’s voices and make some weir frequency that you know whether I'm singing in the group or not LOL! The other is that I will get to socialize more in the gay community. I need to go out and meet more people. Being trying different online sites for dating but nothing comes out of it. This year alone I have only meat one person that I talked to on line first and that's it and it ended up in nothing. So meeting people in person is best. But will keep the online dating also open since you never know where you will meet mister right! I would say a prince in shiny armor meeting would be nice, but I want a king!, I'm already the prince LOL"

·         Kent -I saw his request to join GMA and read his post and thought it was an interesting view point of our group. Ha! We're far from dying of old age. 😀

·         Me- If you are in your 20's anyone over 45 is dying of old age LOL

·         Danny Thomas Thanks for a fun night. Robert "Bobby" Macier died 1992 age 49, Ricky Thomas died 1993 age 41

·         Benedgar Thanks I will check my list to make sure they are included... Good visiting with you tonight

·         Danny It was a great time

·         Benedgar I had  Bobby Macier died 1 Nov 1992 but I didn't have Ricky Thomas ... So thanks

·         Danny thank you

 DECEMBER

1 December 2015 Tuesday

How in the world did it become December already? Well welcome and bring on the holiday madness. So sick of right wingers demonizing Socialism as communism...but then they are stupid ...We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defense, PROMOTE the GENERAL WELFARE, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America. Today is my nephew James Clark’s 47th birthday. Today would have been Matthew Shepherds 39th birthday and the Divine Miss M, Bette Midler, turned 70 years old today. Today is World AIDS Day and Michael Sanders pulled off an event at the Pride Center to recognize the day when no one else was doing anything. While the crisis may be over ... education still needs be done and we should never forget this was first called GRID Gay Related immune deficiency or Gay Cancer... He asked Gay Men Aloud to participate which we agreed to set up a memorial table. I went down at 5 pm to start setting up and others soon joined to help like Jim McMullen and his partner TJ for helping put up the display table and Chuck Whyte for providing twinkling candles...for Greg Allen, and Jay Vallar for moving tables and to Robert Cross for making red ribbons... I would say about 10 or more people from GMA attended. Besides the others aforesaid mention there was Kent Scadlock, Greg Allen, Jay Vallar, Mike Romero, Danny Thomas, David Andreassen, Peter Stoker, George Black, and others I can’t recall right now. George from our group was talking at the World AIDS Day event with me about Bob Christensen and wondered if it was the same man I had listed. And it was 27 November 1991-Wednesday- Robert “Bob” Karl Christensen, age 50, died Nov. 27, 1991 at his home in Salt Lake City of AIDS He was born in Richfield, Utah He graduated with a BS from BYU, and went on to the University of Utah for three years to study, research and teach. He was employed as at technician at the VA Hospital in Salt Lake City and was employed by LDS Hospital for 18 years as department head and director of grounds. He won many awards for his professional landscaping. He was an accomplished musician and was involved in opera. He also traveled extensively throughout the world. I wrote this my journal 24 years ago 1 December 1991 Sunday- I worked on the Sacred Faeries’ Salt and Sage stuff mostly today. I was not well enough to trek over to The Bridge. Heard from Becky Moorman that Allen Ofeldt, the Gospel singer who lived on Wayne Court died yesterday of AIDS. He was so beautiful and talented. It’s like we Gays are being swept away into a black hole. Who will be next? Bob Christensen's obituary was in the Salt Lake Tribune I think last Tuesday. He attended the 1st Beyond Stonewall. So glad those dark days are over.  Things that come out over time like the fact that Elizabeth Taylor ran an illegal Pharmaceutical ring from her Bel Air mansion to help Gay men. Kip Swann made this comment “Yes she did. Elizabeth Taylor God rest her soul tried to unravel the devastation and damage that Nancy Regan caused to AIDS research (that evil bitch Nancy Regan and her dumb husband). May Nancy and Ronald walk be greeted by each and every person and have to shake the hand for every person that died from this savage disease! Elizabeth Taylor began and did volumes for AIDS research she is a SAINT!” Glad to be home and good deeds done for the day. Gay Men Aloud made a memorial table for World AIDS Day at the Pride Center which was well attended. I was interviewed by the SLTribune and Greg Allen and Joel Jay Vallar were standing behind the reporter making faces trying to make me laugh...kids! Also was interviewed by KUTV news...well I said when I retired I'd go on TV again and I have twice now... Imagine what parents and colleagues will think see old Mr. Williams a flaming homo. The poster that says you can't get AIDS from touching things in the SL Tribune article I had up in my classroom for over 25 years as a teaching tool. Michael Sanders pulled off a free grass root event and GMA did a nice job with our memorial table. Greg Allen and Joel Jay Vallar the little snots were behind the camera trying to make me laugh... the imps... LOL Great job everyone for helping and getting GMA's image out there as men of service. Michael Sanders said that the Health Dept said 31 people were tested more than any other event they attended so that is fantastic... Our memorial received the most visit and pictures taken I think with the Tribune and a TV station taking pictures of it... Good More New Yorkers died of AIDS between 1981 and 1995 than Americans in the Viet Nam War.

·         Michael Sanders wrote: So many people to thank for making last night's World AIDS Day in Salt Lake City a wonderful success. It was a true community effort! Peter Stoker-Workman, Lynn Beltran, Veronika Fire and the Salt Lake County Health Department Crew. Edgar Ben Williams, Kent McKay Scadlock and the Gay Men Aloud Crew, Kelly Lake and Le Croissant Catering, Chord Martet and Men Who Move, Rachel Peterson and the Utah Pride Center, Benjamin Holdaway, Brian Rogers and the Utah Aids Foundation Crew, The MAC Cosmetics Crew, The Mr. Friendly: Team Friendly UTAH Crew; Ann Clark, Rodriguez, Stephen Bolinder, Morgan Jennings, By Olsen. We had about 100 guests come through the open house event, news coverage from Channel 2 and the Salt Lake Tribune. In addition, over 30 of the attendees took advantage of the free HIV testing making it the most successful outreach HIV testing event for the Salt Lake County Health Department this year. I also noticed an absence of people playing with their smart phones and an abundance of mingling, socializing and taking advantage of the terrific interactive programming provided by our community partners. It was a friendly village in Salt Lake City last night, a great big thank-you to all that made that happen! All interviewed on this are heroes of mine. Thank you all for showing up last night, and for your hard work in this community. Kristen Ries, Edgar Ben Williams, Peter Stoker-Workman, Michael Sanders, and Ro Driguez.

·         Richard P. Butler Why is it important to you? I lived it. That answer says it all. AIDS affects us all in one way or another. Great video.

·         Richard Howie Hello Ben!  Great work on your blog: Utah Stonewall Historical Society Archives!  Also, I like that you love Genealogy as much as I do. I was reading your Google + I am writing to request you correct the spelling of a name on the blog.  Under 1991, the night of 100 Stars, Allen's name is misspelled.  His name is spelled Allen E. Ofeldt.  I always say if we are going to get our names into history, hopefully they get spelled correctly.  Thank you!  Keep up the great work!  Allen died 26 years ago on Nov 30, 1991.  Not too much after the concert which I think we held in June. 

·         Benedgar Thank you I will... Much of my history of events are from my journals as there were no other coverage of things back then...I wrote down names the best as I could remember but I love corrections

·         Richard Thank you!

·         Benedgar What date did you find the error on because I posted for each day in June and would be easier to go to the exact date then look through 30 days...

·         Richard Here ya go: SATURDAY, AUGUST 17, 2013

·         Benedgar Fixed... I only met Allen once or twice at MCC but thought it was awful that when the Men's choir performed right after his death there was no mention of his death or a tribute. Sad... Well that is what I heard anyway. Appreciate an corrections because this has been a one man project

·         Richard Oh, man.  I did not hear that. After all those years he was at MCC. Horrible. Thank you!  Looks great!

·         Benedgar 1 dec 1991  I worked on the Sacred Faeries’ Zine Salt and Sage stuff mostly today.  I was not well enough to trek over to The Bridge for a staff meeting. Heard from Becky Moorman that Allen Ofeldt, the Gospel singer who lived on Wayne Court died yesterday of AIDS.  He was so beautiful and talented.  It’s like we Gays are being swept away into a black hole.  Who will be next? Bob Christensen's  obituary was in the Salt Lake Tribune I think last Tuesday. He attended the 1st Beyond Stonewall.

·         Benedgar 30 November 1991-Allen E. Ofeldt  age 27, died November 30, 1991 in Salt Lake City, Utah of AIDS. A native of Oklahoma to Della Ofeldt. A Member of Metropolitan Community Church, and a member Salt Lake Men's Choir, joined in community fund raisers for benefits.  December 2, 1991 DEATH: ALLEN E. OFELDT Allen E. Ofeldt, age 27, died November 30, 1991 in Salt Lake City, Utah. Born July 28, 1964 in Oklahoma to Della Ofeldt. Member of M.C.C., member Salt Lake Men's Choir, joined in community fund raisers for benefits. Survived by mother, Della Ofeldt; brother, George, Navy in Philippines; sister, Kelly Caudexes; a multitude of friends who were considered his family. Funeral services will be held Thursday, 2 p.m., McDougal Funeral Home, 4330 South Redwood., where friends may call Wednesday 6-8 p.m. and Thursday 1-1:40 p.m. Interment: Valley View Memorial Park. N 12/2 T 12/3

·         Benedgar Allen was even listed in the program to sing

·         Benedgar 4 December 1991 Todd Bennett wrote a scathing letter about the shabby treatment of Allen Ofeldt by the Salt Lake Men’s Choir. Ofeldt who lived in the neighboring court yard died last Saturday of AIDS and had been a lead singer for the choir and was supposed to have performed the next day at the Christmas Concert.  The choir seems very homophobic.

·         Richard I have seen his Obit.  Thank you!  That is horrible to hear about the treatment by the choir.

·         Benedgar  You don’t have a picture of him do you?

·         Richard Yes!  I created his FAG.  Find A Grave virtual burial.  Are you familiar? He was listed here: 1991 The Utah Health Department reported 454 confirmed cases of AIDS in Utah with 270 fatalities. 62 persons died of AIDS during the year. Notable fatalities: Bish. Michael Coburn age 46, Bobby Martinez age 30 Ballet West dancer, and Allen Ofeldt, age 27 member of SL Men’s Choir. http://www.findagrave.com/cgi-bin/fg.cgi?page=pv&GRid=79822871 I have two photos of him on the above.

·         Benedgar Thank you

·         Richard You have a bunch of great history on your blog.  Do you know if there is a photo of Bianca on here?

·         Benedgar Yes but I could never find an obituary or a death date I think her birth name was Alex Cueva or something like that

·         Richard Man, this was a mistake to start digging around on here.  I just learned that Val Mansfield died, and Bruce Barton.

·         Benedgar Bianca Not Bruce Barton his partner Bruce Harmon who was Bianca's Emperor Val's memorial was held at the Tryangle and I went since I'd known him since 1986

·         Richard Ops. You are correct.  There she is!

·         Benedgar I have a blog and a FB site for Utah Stonewall Historical Society that has a lot of pictures and posts... I really need to update again.. I looked in social security death index and still could not find anything. I heard that she made the transition but cannot confirm

·         Richard Yes, I can't find anything either.  I tried, Alex, Alexander.

·         Benedgar Well I am pooped and am headed for bed... Are you living in Texas? I was born on the Panhandle near Lubbock... a 5th generation Texas [Ann Richards Texan not a Cruz lol]

·         Richard Yes!  I'm down here now.  Miss SLC. Good Night I think you use to go hiking with me back in the day I just don't remember. I will have to ask Vince Larkin and see if he remembers you hiking with us.

·         Benedgar With Randy Burt? May have... I am an old dude now  catch me on FB if you care to

·         Richard Will do.

 

2 December 2015 Wednesday

Holy Moley I must have been tired. I slept in until 10 am without the hounds getting up, the latest Ive slept in since I've retired... I can still plan events at 64 but the recovery time takes longer than when I was 44. Still need to clean my house before company comes this Friday for supper... Oh well what else do I got to do...Very relaxing day pulling some Xmas decorations out while cleaning house... Kent McKay Scadlock came over in the late afternoon and we sat in the hot tub relaxing after a busy week and he treated me to dinner at Chubby’s...spent some time on line with a guy from Texas who use to live in Salt Lake visiting about my history blog... Allen Ofeldt and Bianca, people  we both knew who died so long ago. He thanked me for keeping records of these people so they don't just fade away from memory. President Obama guaranteed all military working dogs retirement on U.S. soil. The Tribune printed a recipe for Funeral Potatoes that replaces the can soup with a cream sauce… Sacrilege and If you don't use a corn flake topping you might as well throw in the trash because no body's gonna eat it. 3 tablespoons unsalted butter 2 onions, chopped fine ¼ cup all-purpose flour 1 ½ cups chicken broth 1 cup half-and-half 1 ¾ teaspoons salt ½ teaspoon dried thyme ¼ teaspoon pepper 8 ounces sharp cheddar cheese, shredded (2 cups) 8 cups frozen shredded hash brown potatoes ½ cup sour cream 4 ounces sour-cream-and-onion potato chips, crushed Adjust oven rack to middle position and heat oven to 350 degrees. Melt butter in Dutch oven over medium-high heat. Add onions and cook until softened, about 5 minutes. Add flour and cook, stirring constantly, until golden, about 1 minute. Slowly whisk in broth, half-and-half, salt, thyme, and pepper and bring to boil. Reduce heat to medium-low and simmer, stirring occasionally, until slightly thickened, 3 to 5 minutes. Off heat, whisk in cheddar until smooth. Stir potatoes into sauce, cover, and cook, stirring occasionally, over low heat until thawed, about 10 minutes. Off heat, stir in sour cream until combined. Transfer mixture to 13-by-9-inch baking dish and top with potato chips. Bake until golden brown, 45 to 50 minutes. Let cool for 10 minutes before serving. To make ahead » Potato mixture can be refrigerated in baking dish, covered with aluminum foil, for up to 2 days. To serve, bake potatoes, still covered with foil, for 20 minutes. Remove dish from oven and uncover. Top with potato chips and bake until golden brown, 45 to 50 minutes.

 

3 December 2015 Thursday

I worked most of the day decorating the house for Xmas. I got my two little Trees up one in the front room and one in the movie room and strung a string of lights outside and some glittery beads up and down the staircase railing. I also made a coconut lemon cake and later went to Dollar Tree and bought some silk poinsettias and made arrangements to be all festive. Real poinsettias are poisonous for the dogs. Just tried to make the house look Christmasy for movie night tomorrow... Now I am pooped... Ho Ho Ho. Another mass slaughter this time in San Bernardino at a company Christmas Party killed 14 people! Not having gun regulation in this country is as stupid as not having traffic signals and insurance for automobiles... This culture of death that the NRA and Republicans promote will never be reined in as long as morons can't be convinced that gun control does not mean confiscation...when Reagan was shot the Brady Bill was passed...when Kindergarteners are slaughtered the Republicans just give thoughts and prayers but no laws...The very people who think the government wants to take their hunting rifles and home protection guns from them are the mentally ill paranoids that should not be having weapons in the first place. I am all for the government control of assault weapons and any other weapons of mass destruction in private hands. Do these mental rejects believe they could fight the United States Armed Forces in an uprising? How about doing your civic duty and not voting for fascists in the first place. I wonder how many mass murders will occur today by home grown terrorists?.

·         Charles Lynn Kip Swan had lunch with Marian Edmonds-Allen today, and she indicated Jerry Buie asked her why she was advertising about GMA in her weekly newsletter. He told her not to support the group because it was unhealthy, didn't represent the gay community, and was led by people who didn't know what they were doing. Kip set Marian correct quickly, and she indicated she knew Jerry was throwing negativity for some reason about GMA. Kip plans on confronting Jerry at the next Sage Adv. Mtng. about this and correcting him about GMA. I guess our decision to not include has just proven correct. Just thought you should know. WE are doing great things, and the word is getting out.

 

4 December 2015 Friday

Did a lot of my prep work for movie night and then worked on my John Williams ancestry for much of the day before finishing cleaning the house especially mopping the floors. The dinner was at 6:30 but Kyle Daniels came over at 5 straight from school. We made out before others came over and I gave him a blow job. He just came before Kent Scadlock arrived and later Alan Anderson with their pups. He told me that Alan asked him to marry him and have a June wedding. Mike Romero and Andy Dalrymple were the only others who could make it tonight. I fixed spaghetti, buttered squash with red bell peppers, garlic bread, and a salad. I also had the lemon cake I made yesterday.  We had fun visiting but Kyle had to go back to school because of some stuff about entering midterm grades. For the movie we watched To Wong Foo Thanks For Everything which was fun and campy.

·         Me to Bill-Are you coming to dinner tonight? Should be a small affair. You don’t have to stay for the movie. If the weather holds I am heading down to Gunnison on Sunday if you feel like going

·         Bill -just got home been gone since 9 am, I had another Charles project that had to be in his hands tonight, he sent it to me last night....I hate people that wait till the last moment to get things done.  I was at the U for like 4 hours.  I am wiped out so am in for the night.  I would love to dive to Gunnison Sun, what time do you want me there....I saw they had a lockdown.

 

5 December 2015 Saturday

Corky and Bhani were over last night and wore Daisy and Buddy out. It's 10 a.m. And they still have their tired carcasses in bed...I went down to the Genealogy Library but didn’t stay very long because I forgot that Levon wanted to come over and bring Chinese Food for lunch and watch a movie. So I finished up what I could and then headed home by 1 pm and Levon came over by 1:30. He said he had a job now working in a lab at Research Park by the U of U for $12 an hour. He’s only temporary for 6 months but I guess that is how they do things these days so they don’t have to pay benefits. We didn’t really watch anything but just kind of got caught up with his life. I told him I was really happy that things are looking up for him.  I kind of went to bed early kind of tired from a busy week. I found this fun information at the library. This is the X rated history they don't teach in school. The fun things you learned digging into old county records of Isle of Wight Virginia my ancestral home. December Court 1694 Thomas Norworthy plaintive brings his action against Samuel Cahoon defendant for that ye defendant did falsely maliciously and scandalously publish and openly declare that the plaintive did ffucke Frances Meacom or commit carnal copulation with said Meacom and diverse other the like abuses offered to the plaintive.” Norsworth sued for “125 £ sterling” at a time 10 £ was equivalent to a year’s wages. Cahoon pled not guilty and a trial was held. 11 Dec 1694: Deposition of Jemima Drake, aged 43, [ a distant relative] “states that sometime last July I heard Samuel Cahoon say that Thomas Norsworthy fuckt Frances Meacom and your desponent told said Cahoon she did not believe it Cahoon replied as sure as ever his father fuckt his mother and as sure as ever my husband fuckt me and would take his oath of it and said Cohoon went over to William Johnson and when he came back again he asked this despondent if Thomas Norsworthy was rid out to Colonel himself now he had put himself in a heat with fuckin the Girl said the said Cohoon I thought to have had first bout with her myself but now he may keep her and further this deponent saith not.”  The jury found for the plaintiff and he awarded 400 pounds of tobacco and the cost of the suit. Who said genealogy was boring?

 

6 December 2015 Sunday

I went down to Gunnison today to see Kyle and took Bill Poore along with me. We made really good time but I wasn’t especially hurrying. He told me stories of Clyde Vinson a person who mentored him in New York who died of AIDS. The weather was good 40 degrees and the roads were clear and not too much traffic. It was about 12:30 when I got in to see Kyle. We had a good visit but was upset that he lost his television because I didn’t get money down to him on time and it will be six months before they will let him have it back again after you stop paying rent on time. That made me sad for him but I said he should have paid rent first before buying treats for his pod mates. Oh well. It’s not like he doesn’t have plenty to do with his culinary classes and I said maybe he could work on the biology class he needs to finish for SLCC. Anyway other than that we had a very good visit and he seemed to be in upbeat spirits although he is probably coming down with a cold. Hope I don’t get it but oh well. I  tried feeding the hounds mackerel and they turned their noses up at it.

 

7 December 2015 Monday

Our Topic tonight is Seasonal Depression or the Holiday Blues. If you have never experienced it count yourself among the lucky. We will be sharing how we can make the holidays for ourselves and others if not enjoyable at least tolerable LOL... Kent McKay Scadlock sent me this great article. Perhaps it will help with the discussion tonight... Hope to see you there. PS there will be Ginger Bread Loaf with a Bourbon glaze and a sugar free banana blueberry pecan bread for refreshments...Thanks to everyone who came out tonight on this rainy wintry evening. We had a rough start as that no one informed us that the Cultural Hall was booked for a banquet tonight and we had to scramble to find other accommodations within the church but all's well that ended well and while we were cozy we made it work. It was hard to count the exact numbers we had tonight but it was between 35 and 40 people. A big thank you to Alan Anderson, Michael Berry, Lon Breeden, and Kip Swan for moderating our four breakout discussion groups. It was good to hear all the comments shared about dealing with holiday blues and seasonal depression. Thanks to Charles Lynn Frost and Kent McKay Scadlock for guiding people through the maze of halls to our meeting space. I will post some activities that were discussed tonight later and see if there is any interest in going to some events together like seeing Star Wars as a group.

·         Bill Poore-Just talked to Doug Murri about David McCullough who died of AIDS in 1993 or 94.  Doug and I both knew him well.  He and I both went to Highland, of course he years after I.  Sad story, he died in Holly Cross, his family refused to help him out once he got AIDS, his dad was a very successful attorney and mom high in the church.  Doug saw him the night before he died. Long story of a kid I had a crush on for years .  He was really smart, cute but really troubled with his struggle with the church and his family.  Anyway not sure if he was on your list but wanted to make sure he is there with the others.

 

8 December 2015 Tuesday

I didn’t leave the house today except to take Coco home. I worked in the morning on John Williams the emigrant and then the rest of the day watch on Hulu a cute comedy Telenovela. I did send a message to Dennis McCracken about the mix up at the church last night. I created an event for Christmas Eve for some friends to come over for a ham dinner. Donald Trump wants to bar Muslims from coming to this country. What a demagogue.

·         Me to Kent Scadlock I hope you are feeling better and got some rest... I counted the money and we had $23 and altogether we now have 143 dollars... I sent an email to Dennis at the church and this is what I said " Hi Dennis, hope things are well with you. I know things are hectic this time of year but last night we came to the church to find a banquet scheduled in the cultural hall. We scrambled and found space in the meeting rooms behind the stage for the 40 men who came so it worked out but could you check the schedule and see if there are any more conflicts we should be aware of? We were careful not to disrupt them but it was slightly awkward...We are scheduled for the 1st and 3rd Monday's but if that is a problem please let us know so we can be flexible... PS there were two elderly ladies who were trying to get the gliding chair up to the second floor as they couldn't take the stairs...we tried to help but couldn't...is there people trained that could assist with that? Like night staff? I know you are busy with the upcoming choir but could you check that there is no conflict for December 21st ... Thanks Ben”

 

9 December 2015 Wednesday

Such a beautiful day today. I had to enjoy being outdoors so I did some yard work...the Globe Willows have finally dropped their leaves so I raked my backyard side yard 60 feet by 40 feet that was covered. It took me two hours and piled them all in my composting area along the south fence. The hounds love running up and down it barking at those who dare walk on the sidewalk. so in no time I expect the leaves to be all broken down unless we get snow right away. Thank goodness for a hot tub because I over extended myself... But a hot shower and a libation and all the pups in bed with me in bed and all will be well with the world.  In the evening I created a new group to post adult theme jokes and pictures that I wouldn’t post on my regular Facebook. I called it Ben’s Bantam Band of Brassy Bad Boy’s. It will be like the old Great Basin Bad Boy site I started with Charles Frost a few years ago but we closed down last summer because we lost interest in it and to be truthful so many of the  guys on the site were friends of Charles who I didn’t know nor know me. I am sure that Jon Jepson ratted me out several times to FB for posting some nudes. So I only want a few people that I trust completely. Donald Trump scares me as a front man for some fascists in this country. I hope young Gay people take seriously the anti-Gay rhetoric from most of the GOP Presidential contenders fueled by the Christian right. The gains we have made in the past 45 years could be swept away in an election. 100 years ago Germany was at the fore front of Gay Rights in the world. They were the most enlightened and progressive country in Europe. British homosexuals vacationed or even moved to Germany to live or work. This was due to the efforts of men like Magnus Hirschfeld, an outspoken advocate for sexual minorities, and founder of the Scientific Humanitarian Committee in 1897. This group was the first advocates for homosexual rights in the world. On 6 July 1919 Hirschfeld opened his Sexual Institute which housed an immense archives and library on sexuality and provided educational services and medical consultations. When the Nazi Party was elected in 1933, Gay organizations were banned, scholarly books about homosexuality, and sexuality in general, were burned. On 6 May 1933, the Nazi's burned the institutes books and archives. Between 1933 and 1945,More than one million gay Germans were targeted, of whom at least 100,000 were arrested and 50,000 were serving prison terms as "convicted homosexuals" sentenced to concentration camps where they were forced to wear a Pink Triangle.

 

10 December 2015 Thursday

Just chopped my friends list from 180 to 143... so if you are seeing this Merry Christmas...it means I actually know you or you make funny or poignant comments and oh yes the relatives got to keep the relatives so people will know where to send the ashes C.O.D. It was windy as hell today and wind blew constant from the south. I didn’t do much today except go grocery shopping. In the mood to make some fruit cakes so I want to make some candied fruit like orange peels and lemon peels.  I chopped my friends list down from 180 to 143... I actually just wanted people I know personally or people who make funny or poignant comments.  People are making such a big deal about saying Happy Holidays instead of Merry Christmas. If people actually stayed awake in history class maybe they'd had learned that the Pilgrims and Puritans who came to America for Religious freedom refused to celebrate Christmas as it was a Roman Catholic Mass to commemorate Christ's birth on a Pagan holiday... The Catholic-like Anglicans of Virginia who came for wealth loved Christmas and slavery... The Quakers would never have said Merry Christmas either and they were pacifists... So Seasons Greetings Y'all...

·         Bill Poore- So A lesbian and transgender movies are getting all the nominations for SAG AWARDS and Golden Globes....Carol is a Lesbian Love story, Danish Girl is about a Transgender... Eddie last year’s best actor is nominated for transgender role...except he is more beautiful than any transgenders I know.

 

11 December 2015 Friday

Richard P. Butler took me out to lunch at Charlie Chow today. He had never been there so it was about time. One of the better Chinese Food Places in the City. Afterwards we went DI shopping at Welfare Square. Rich knows his brand names and he likes Aloha Shirts of higher quality and he was telling me what labels to look for...I was just looking at patterns until with beginners luck found one of the brand names. I bought it for $6 and came home and looked up identical types of shirt by the same label and they were going for $92 so Rich was proud that I found a deal at first try. I actually looked at it because of the colors and it looked hippish LOL. I baked two chocolate chip pecan banana breads this morning and gave one to Rich. I also candied my fruit to make some Xmas Fruit cakes. I don't like the shiny candy fruit so made my own with dark cherries, pineapple wedges, dried apricot, slivered orange and lemon rinds. I will make them tomorrow may be so I can start soaking them in Brandy for the next week before giving them away. Easy Access to assault weapons is terrorism in of itself... Restore the ban that Bush lifted in 2005 Well not all recipes turn out... My fruit cake was a disaster... It looked fine going into the oven but not so much coming out... I sprayed the baking loaf pans really well but still stuck... Tastes good but looks horrible. I will salvage it by letting it completely dry out place it in a baking dish and later serve it with hot butter rum sauce and pretend I intended it all along

 

12 December 2015 Saturday

Well another Xmas tradition is a thing of the past...Bill Poore, Michael Romero and I went out to Valley Fair Mall to walk around and look at Xmas shoppers... As a kid in California a big part of Christmas was being at the giant malls...however West Valley looked dead and except for the discounts you'd wouldn't know it was Christmas... So left there and went to Scaddy's at 35th and Redwood next to Chris and Dicks... It was super good and had a real Reuben and fresh made onion rings... The owner who is Kent McKay Scadlock brother came out to greet us as customers and we told him we were friends of his brother so we gabbed awhile and even met the aunt from Herriman...highly recommend ...then off to the DI Tooele... If I was looking for hunting camouflage this would be the place...but for a flamer like me it is sorely lacking in accoutrements that this old queen would dain to purchase. Making vegetable soup the way dad did with lots of cabbage... One of the greatest gifts my folks gave to me is letting me cook and letting me watch in the kitchen. They never taught me how to cook...they were too busy for that but whenever I cook something that they did...the smells bring back the memories of days long gone... Dad always made this soup not mom and it had tomato juice as its base not water... Cabbage, potatoes, carrots, corn, green beans, onions, bay leaves, cut up beef. Dad always put celery in. I hate cooked celery so I use celery flakes...all the flavor and none of the yucky celery threads... Lol

My favorite version of A Christmas Carol is Albert Finney's musical version called Scrooge...it's one of my very favorite Christmas movies... Even if it was released to the theaters in the summer of 1970 lol.

·         Leland  Ben, that was a very nice post, re: 15 questions to ask oneself when having a bad day. I hope you are doing well this holiday season so far. I was unable to attend Gay Men Aloud last week but really wanted to be there--it sounded like a great discussion. If it is held again on December 21st, I should be able to attend. –Lee

·         Benedgar  to Leland Burns The topic that evening is Queer Spirit and Gay Energy. Kevin Scott is hosting a pot luck Xmas night at his place

 

13 December 2015 Sunday

In his Poor Richard's Almanac of 1739, Benjamin Franklin wrote of Christmas: "O blessed Season! Lov'd by Saints and Sinners / For long Devotions, or for longer Dinners."  Celebrate the beginning of Winter any way you choose... There is no war on Christmas, it's not a Biblical principle, it's a combination of intertwining centuries of traditions to acknowledge the winter solstice and the "birth of the sun" not the son.

It wasn't even a national holiday until 1870 to bring unity back to a divided nation devastated by Civil War.

·         Leland Burns regarding GMA Sounds like an interesting dual topic. I've heard numerous great reviews of the last topic on Holiday Blues/depression; I'd love to see the list of what people came up with.  I attended Salt Lake Men's Choir Christmas Concert tonight with Doug White and Kip Swan. Very nice concert. Hope you had a nice weekend. -Lee.

·         Benedgar I did and you sound like you had a nice evening too

 

14 December 2015 Monday

Heavy lake affect snow here by the airport at Westpointe... Left a message at 5:30 for Mike to let Coco in downstairs rather than the backyard...she would have been lost in the snow...so had strange dreams until finally getting up late...I don't have to go anywhere and when the snow stops I will plug in the snow blower...and no I was not dreaming of a "white" Christmas because that's racists. I won't listen to Xmas music until the first real snow fall so guess what I am listening to today? The snow has not abated...at least 9 inches since this morning ... I may dig out tomorrow or may be not

Perfect day to stay in bed and watch movies...just finished watching Sixteen Candles... 30 years old and still cracks me up...Made a baked potato with butter, sour cream, cheddar cheese, green onions and sauté portobello mushrooms to eat while watching Christmas Story... fra- jill- le it must be Italian ... You'll shoot your eye out kid

 

15 December 2015 Tuesday

Off to do battle with the Snow Queen ...wish me luck (I meant wish damn auto correct lol) Two hours of shoveling and snow blowing. Before and after pictures of the steps...The snow is wet and heavy. Two large branches from my globe willows are down but they will keep... The snow is actually perfect for snowmen so I expect to see a lot of them spring up after kids get home... I shoveled the snow in the street in front of my driveway... That was the hardest but once it freezes the bowling ball clumps of snow are nearly impossible to break up... As it I built an iceberg by the side gutter big enough to sink the Titanic... cleared a path for the dogs in the back yard but too tired to chip through the packed snow... But at least they won't get buried...measured nearly 8 inches of snow on the railings on the deck. Fed the pups fried chicken and I then made a batch of beef stew and biscuits for this cold wintry evening... I finished off the vegetable beef soup yesterday so needed something simple and warm for supper

 

16 December 2015 Wednesday

First time out of the house since the Monday storm hit...it's like a battle zone of broken tree limbs on 13th West... All those tall, beautiful shade trees have some type of damage from the heavy wet snow...I have limbs down in the back yard and a branch broken from my south side parking strip... No structural damage... Gonna be a lot of wood chippers out for sure...took a couple of pictures of the worse on 13th. Taking Chuck Whyte grocery shopping... No one can work a coupon like that girl... I bet he's got 100 dollars of groceries for $50 Chuck Whyte wrote ·        Special Thanks to Edgar Ben Williams for picking me up, waiting while I shopped , and then sticking around while I hauled 2 baskets full upstairs in the elevator, I am so blessed to have many unconditional friends that continue to step in and make my life easier.” Happy Holiday One and All. I bought some replacement bulbs for the Xmas lights and some sunflower seeds for the squirrel in the tree. I also bought Chuck some Clementine tangerines for his Christmas gift. This evening I made two loaves of banana nut bread because I thought Levon was coming over but since it’s snowing again he’s coming over tomorrow instead. Made some cheesy biscuits for dinner to have with left over stew. This is how I replied to the survey "Since when did Straights participate in the Stonewall Riots? Why is Gay mentioned after Tran, Lesbian, and Straight? The word "Gay" was an inclusive term in 1969 for homosexual men and women... as well as for those who labeled themselves 'transsexuals'.  It was The Gay Liberation Front that came out of the rebellion on Christopher Street. Sorry if the truth is not PC"

·         To GMA Hope everyone came through Monday's storm unscathed. It may be a good time for those in Triads to check on one another. The Monday storm raises the possibility of a Monday meeting being canceled due to in-climate weather...1st Baptist is on a steep and busy street during snow storms. Next Monday the 21st the forecast is for rain mixed with snow. If we feel that driving conditions are unsafe we will cancel the meeting at least by 5:00 pm so please check this page. If by some chance we cancel we will try to hold the meeting on the following Monday...Kent McKay Scadlock, and Charles Lynn Frost will let you know what they will do for January and February...be safe and fingers crossed will see you on the 21st

 

17 December 2015 Thursday

I finished writing Kyle the letter I started yesterday

·         Dear Kyle, I want to get this into the mail so you will have it before the 25th so I can wish you a Merry Christmas. I know you must be bummed that your semester for Culinary School has ended not just for the good eating, but for having something to look forward to that you enjoyed so much. I just feel so badly about you losing your TV at this time of the year and now that winter is here there’s not much else to do until your class starts up again.  I feel like I’ve let you down and it feels so punitive to make you wait 6 months before they will let you have that privilege again.  Especially, when you had been so good about paying your rent each month. Well I guess you will have to read more and study for your degrees until you are able to have your own again.  I can’t think of a lot of news up this way. Monday the 14th we had a heavy wet snow storm that was breaking limbs and branches on trees throughout the city.  A huge limb came off the Globe Willow but fell into the yard so there wasn’t any structure damage. A small branch fell off the parking street tree on the south side but didn’t block the sidewalk. We had about 10 inches of snow and the trees were bending towards the ground until I went out with a long handled stick and beat the snow off of them.  I cleared off my driveway and sidewalks as well as the steps but a new storm blew in last night and left a half an inch but hopefully when the sun comes out it will melt since I had already cleared the walks. Today is Jim Dabakis’ birthday. He’s down in Mexico with his husband. Wasn’t all that long ago that I was at his birthday party at the McLune Mansion and met Debbie Reynolds who had come to perform at his party.  She is one my favorite actresses and I was so lucky to meet her. I don’t know where the time has gone. It seems like I had just visited you but it’s been ten days already. Time is so relative. For you it must seem so slow and for me it’s going so fast. Time accelerates as you get older at a dizzying speed and then Poof suddenly you aren’t there anymore. Then it’s too late to worry about any legacy to mark that you were even here. So do as much good as you can while you can.  I am not a nihilist who believe that life is baseless or that nothing can be known or communicated to others. A true nihilist believes in nothing, has no loyalty to anyone or thing and that there is no purpose for anything. While I don’t believe in a divine plan I do believe that everyone and everything is connected in a beautiful tapestry of matter and energy. And that what we do and think have far reaching consequences beyond that which we can comprehend. We are sentient beings who get to rise up out of the mud, look around, and flow back into mother earth from which spring even more forms of creation. I am grateful to come into existence for whatever reason for whatever short time I am here. Gratitude for me is simply loving one another. Well let’s see what I have done since we last spoke. Our Gay Men Aloud topic on the 7th was Seasonal Depression or the Holiday Blues. If you have never experienced it count yourself among the lucky. We had a rough start though as that no one informed me that the Cultural Hall had been booked for a banquet so I had to scramble to find other accommodations within the church. It was hectic, for as usual, it fell upon me to make it work but all's well that ended well and while we were cozy fitting 35 to 40 men in a room that accommodated at the most 15, we made it work. We then shared how we could make the holidays if not enjoyable at least tolerable. I made a Ginger Bread Loaf, with a Bourbon glaze, and a sugar-free banana blueberry pecan bread for Chuck Whyte and others who are diabetic but he didn’t show. I was surprised by how many who did come out since it was a rainy wintry evening.  I was so tired from having been on the go for nearly 2 weeks, from making Thanksgiving dinner, putting on a pot luck dinner for Gay Men Aloud, making a display for Worlds AIDS Day, to making sure Monday’s meeting came off that the next day I crashed and stayed in bed except to take Coco home. Sometimes I have to remember I am 65 not 45. But I did create an event for Christmas Eve for some friends to come over for a ham and funeral potato dinner. Always busy in a good cause is my motto with my Grandpa Johnson singing in my ear “Each day I’ll do a Golden Deed to help someone who is in need.”    Wednesday the 9th the weather was so beautiful that I had to get outside and enjoy being outdoors so I did some yard work. The Globe Willows had finally dropped their remaining leaves littering the backyard. The grass is pretty shot as it is, but I didn’t want the layer of leaves to smother what was left, so I raked my entire backyard.  I piled them all in my composting area along the south fence. The hounds love running up and down the fence barking at those who dare walk on the sidewalk. So in no time I suspect the leaves to be all broken down unless we get snow right away which we did. It took me over two hours of raking. Thank goodness for the hot tub because I over extended myself. But after a hot shower and a libation with all the pups in bed with me at bedtime, all was well with the world. It’s the simple things honestly.  In the evening I did create a new Facebook group to post adult theme jokes and pictures that I wouldn’t dare post on my regular page. I have 16 of my close friends on it and none of Charles Frost’s sycophants who were on Great Basin Bad Boys.  I called it Ben’s Bantam Band of Brassy Bad Boy’s. The old Great Basin Bad Boy site I started with Charles Frost a few years ago we had closed down last summer because we had lost interest in it and to be truthful so many of the  guys on the site were just friends of Charles who didn’t even know me or even had animus towards me. I am sure that it was Jon Jepson who ratted me out several times to FB for posting some slight nudes [not sexual]. Others who posted much raunchier photos never were turned in so someone in that group was deliberately getting me put on FB’s violator’s list and put on probation for weeks so that I couldn’t use FB at all. I now only want a few people that I trust completely. Speaking of Facebook about a week ago I chopped my friends’ list from 180 to 143 people... I decided I only wanted people who were funny or poignant. I kept the relatives… got to keep the relatives so people will know where to send the ashes C.O.D. Being cremated, as they say, is my last chance at a smokin’ hot body. The day after I did my raking it was windy as hell, blowing constantly from the south, so that it scattered the remaining leaves from the poplars everywhere. Oh Well. We are meant to toil and labour in this ever challenging world. It was meaningless to try and do any yardwork with the wind that was breaking off dead branches from the Globe Willows and scattering them all over the yard.  I left picking them up for another day.  I’d been in the mood to bake and specifically some fruit cakes. I didn’t want to use the florescent artificially colored fruit you buy in the store so decided to make some candied fruit myself like candied orange peels, lemon peels, pineapple wedges, dried apricots, and dark cherries to go in the Xmas Fruit cakes. After simmering them in sugar water until the sugar water was reduced, I drained the syrup off and soaked the fruit in brandy.  It took two days to prepare the fruit and then fold them into a batter to bake. Well not all recipes turn out... My fruit cake was a disaster... It looked fine going into the oven but not so much coming out... I sprayed the baking loaf pans really well but they still stuck and came out broken up. It tasted good but looked horrible. Someone later said I should have used parchment paper or a spring form pan. I salvaged it, however, by letting it completely dry out and placed it in a baking dish which I put in freezer. I will later thaw it, reheat it and serve it with hot butter rum sauce to serve as a type of bread budding at Christmas. I will pretend I intended it that way all along. It should be delicious and I spent nearly ten dollars on fruit to just throw it out. I am not cheap. I am frugal. Mormons are cheap. Gays are frugal. My old friend Rich Butler who installed my water heater and fixed your toilet downstairs took me out to lunch at Charlie Chow last Friday. He had never been there so it was about time. It’s one of the better Chinese Food Places in the City. Afterwards we went DI shopping at Welfare Square. Rich knows his brand names of things because he’s kind of an eclectic collector. He had just gone to Hawaii with his wife last summer and he likes Aloha Shirts [not Hawaiian] of higher quality. So we were browsing through the shirts and he was telling me what labels to look for when with beginners luck I found one of the brand names. I actually was just looking at patterns I thought were stylish but colorful. He insisted I buy the shirt which was exactly my size which was only $6 which I balked at buying it for that price. However he told me when I get home to look up identical types of shirt by the same label and I was shocked that they were going for $92. In Hawaii Rich had bought that label for $95 because he wanted an authentic Aloha shirt. Rich was so proud that I found a deal at first try. LOL Actually as I said I only looked at it because of the colors and it looked hippy-like. I will wear it down next spring or summer.  I told him how you loved that show Pickers and finding deals like that. Only you would have turned around and sold it while I will wear it… LOL… I had baked two chocolate chip pecan banana breads that morning and I gave one to Rich for his help and the fact that he loves banana bread.  I had to redeem my baking skills after the fruit cake fiasco. Well another Xmas tradition is a thing of the past. Last Saturday, Bill Poore, Mike Romero and I went out to Valley Fair Mall to walk around and look at all Xmas shoppers and decorations. As a kid in California, a big part of Christmas was being at the giant malls like Westminster Mall, or South Coast Plaza or even Buena Park Plaza near Knott’s Berry Farm. Those places were crowded with busy shoppers and filled with the smell of caramel popcorn waffling in the air, Christmas music playing, and everything covered with shiny bulbs, red ribbons, and artificial pine wreaths. That was the Christmas of my youth...however West Valley Mall looked dead and tired. Except for the discounts posted every were you wouldn't know even know it was Christmas. And of course the sad looking Santa in the middle of the mall was posing for parents to have their kid immortalized with the Jolly Old Elf. I left the mall as depressed as the mall looked. After that Bill Poore and I went off to find the DI in Tooele. Bill assured me there would be treasure to be found in an off the beaten path second hand store. Well if I was looking for a camouflage au courant haute couture collection this would be the boutique for it… your basic tan, brown, black and green with an occasional orange for the bold and sassy hunter. But for a run of the mill flamer like me, it was sorely lacking in any accoutrements that this old queen would fain to purchase.  The trip was a bust. Even the boys weren’t cute but looked like extras from the cast of Deliverance.  “Ya shore have a purty mouth, boy.” As a disclaimer I have to admit that I lived in Grantsville from 1978-1979 and detest the place, mainly from how cruelly they treated their animals back then. A poor donkey with its hooves grown so long that they curled back into his shins dropped dead and hung from the wire fencing between our yards for days. I called everyone even the Bishop to complain but being a small town and I being an outside while the neighbor was a local, no one cared. Another time I looked out the window and saw a loose ram getting ready to charge a pregnant woman pushing a stroller while holding another little one by the hand. I ran outside, grabbed a flat shovel and stood between the woman and the ram. As the ram charged I batted it in the head with the shovel. He charged several times before walking away. It’s the only time I had ever had to hit an animal. At the time Grantsville had packs of dogs and would shoot them after being placed in the town’s pound rather than humanely euthanizing them. People did not even try to neuter their dogs or control the packs. Another time I saw a pack of dogs chasing my black lab, Sam, down the lane. When I went to intervene they attacked Sam when he turned to protect me but I managed to get in the fray without being bitten and pulled Sam away. Back in the house I saw that he was bleeding and when I took him to the vet, he had over 50 puncture wounds. He had turned on the dogs when I went out to rescue him and he saved me when he was so badly wounded himself. I had to apply antibiotics in all his wounds under his skin and stay up all night with him comforting him. It was while subbing PE at Grantsville that this high school kid started humping me while practice wrestling. I knew right then and there that I would never be a high school teacher. That it would be far safer just to teach elementary school where kids are far far far away from puberty… and smelled of sour milk and captain crunch. LOL.   I feared that some high school boy might get a crush on me [yes I once was young and cute] and I did not want that temptation in front of me neither did I want to be the object of some Gay boy’s crush and his first rejection. I never wanted to be the Gay version of the Police Song Don’t Stand So Close to Me…“Young teacher, the subject Of schoolboy fantasy He wants him so badly Knows what he wants to be…Inside him there's longing This boy's an open page…Book marking, he's so close now This boy is half his age…Don't stand, don't stand so Don't stand so close to me…Don't stand, don't stand so Don't stand so close to me...His friends are so jealous You know how bad boys get…Sometimes it's not so easy To be the teacher's pet …Temptation, frustration So bad it makes him cry…Wet bus stop, He's waiting His car is warm and dry…Loose talk in the classroom To hurt they try and try…Strong words in the staffroom The accusations fly” I was a substitute teacher in both Grantsville and Tooele high school and those kids were mean. I only lived in Grantsville because my ex-wife had friends there whom she begged me to let her live close to. They took in foster kids simply for the money and treated the foster kids like shit compared to their own kids. It really opened my eyes and I couldn’t wait to move back to Salt Lake City, which I did the summer of 1979 when I went to work at the Special Event Center and lived on Bryan Street and 13th East. The College Boys at the U of U had a better appreciation of me. LOL  So to avoid any heartbreak situation, I went back to college and got an elementary certificate and never taught high school which was my dream to be a history teacher. A choice I believe that kept me out of prison LOL.  Grantsville and Tooele, while having incredibly good looking farm boys, were hard mean spirited places all the while pretending to be good Mormon towns. No matter how bad at times Salt Lake City was back then it was nothing like Grantsville. It really turned me off from living in rural towns. That was 35 years ago and I know things have changed Thank God. But it still has left me with a sour taste in my mouth for any place outside of Salt Lake’s city limits. The line from Priscilla Queen of the Desert has always been poignant to me…“I don't know if that ugly wall of suburbia's been put there to stop them getting in, or us getting out.”  It’s sure been soup weather up here. I made a big pots of cheesy cauliflower and ham, vegetable beef soup, and beef stew in the past ten days. This weekend for movie night I am making Texas Chili. I also bought some Portobello Mushrooms on sale the other day so I will be making cream of mushroom soup soon. I make my beef vegetable soup the way my dad did with lots of cabbage... One of the greatest gifts my folks gave to me is letting me cook and letting me watch in the kitchen. They never taught me how to cook...they were too busy for that but now whenever I cook something that they did...the smells bring back the memories of days long gone... Dad always made this soup never my mom and it had a can of tomato juice as its base not water... Cabbage, potatoes, carrots, corn, green beans, onions, bay leaves, cut up beef. Dad always used to put celery in but I hate cooked celery like you do onions so I use celery flakes instead...all the flavor but none of the yucky celery threads... Lol People are still making such a big deal about saying Happy Holidays instead of Merry Christmas. I tell people Happy Festivus! And then complain a lot. LOL The so called War on Christmas is just false propaganda perpetrated by false claims by false men who make a living trying to divide this nation. Celebrate the beginning of Winter any way you choose I say. There is no war on Christmas, it's not even a Biblical principle, it's a combination of intertwining centuries of different cultural traditions to acknowledge the winter solstice and the "birth of the sun" not the son. It wasn't even a national holiday until 1870 when President Grant established to bring unity back to a deeply divided nation devastated by Civil War. If people had actually stayed awake in their history class maybe they'd had learned that the Pilgrims and Puritans who came to America for Religious freedom refused to celebrate Christmas at all! They believed it was, as it is, a Roman Catholic “Mass” to commemorate Christ's birth on a Pagan holiday... The Catholic-like Anglicans of Virginia, mostly my people, who came for wealth loved Christmas and slavery... The Quakers would never have said Merry Christmas either, no one day was holier than another so no holidays and they were pacifists to boot!  In his Poor Richard's Almanac of 1739, Benjamin Franklin wrote of Christmas: "O blessed Season! Lov'd by Saints and Sinners / For long Devotions, or for longer Dinners."  I am always surprised how much the Mormons love celebrating December 25th when Joseph Smith specifically said the baby Jesus was born April 6th.  The Christmas sales would be so much better in April. LOL So I say Seasons Greetings because it is so much easier than saying “Christmahanakwanza to Yule”.    So I guess lesbian and transgender movies, “Carol” and “Danish Girl” are getting all the nominations for the SAG AWARDS and Golden Globes. Carol is a Lesbian Love story and Danish Girl is about a Transgender. It’s all about the Trans now. Even the Pride Center, when talking about the events at Stonewall, in a list of people who started the movement placed Trans people first followed by Lesbians and Straights! Straights! I simply had to reply or explode. "Since when did Straights participate in the Stonewall Riots? Why is Gay only mentioned after Tran, Lesbian, and Straight people? The word "Gay" was an inclusive term in 1969 for homosexual men and women... as well as for those who labeled themselves 'transsexuals'.  It was “The Gay Liberation Front” that came out of the rebellion on Christopher Street not “LGBTI Liberation”. Sorry if the truth is not PC enough for you." I guess Donald Trump also has a “final solution” for Muslims on his rise to the top of GOP doofism. He scares me though as a front man for some powerful fascists in this country. I hope young Gay people take seriously the anti-Gay rhetoric spewing from most of the GOP Presidential contenders that is fueled by the Christian right. The most vile anti-Gay rhetoric is the world is now coming from Muslim jihadists, especially ISIS, and Christian American Fundamentalists.  Let that sink in.  The gains we have made in the past 45 years could be swept away in an election like it did in Germany in 1933. 100 years ago Germany was at the fore front of Gay Rights in the world. They were the most enlightened and progressive country in Europe. British homosexuals vacationed or even moved to Germany to live or work, like Christopher Isherwood did. This was due to the efforts of men like Magnus Hirschfeld, an outspoken advocate for sexual minorities, and founder of the Scientific Humanitarian Committee in 1897. This group was the first to advocate for homosexual rights in the world. Members included notable like Albert Einstein while not Gay was a liberal. In 1919 Hirschfeld opened his “Sexual Institute” which once housed an immense archives and library on sexuality and provided educational services and medical consultations. When the Nazi Party was elected, Gay organizations were immediately banned, and scholarly books about homosexuality, and sexuality were burned. The famous film of the Nazi’s burning books was that of the Hirschfeld collection being destroyed. Between 1933 and 1945, more than one million Gay Germans were targeted by police, of whom at least 100,000 were arrested and 50,000 were sent to concentration camps as "convicted homosexuals" where they were forced to wear a Pink Triangle. It was easy to round up the Gay men because they had to register with the police of every German city, and each time they changed address. Fascism needs a target to hate, a crisis to the nation, a made up sense of national moral decay to flourish. “When and if fascism comes to America it will not be labeled ‘made in Germany’; it will not be marked with a swastika; it will not even be called fascism; it will be called, of course, ‘Americanism'” –New York Times September 12, 1938. Something similar has been attributed to Author Lewis Sinclair. “When fascism comes to America, it will come wrapped in the flag and waving a cross.”  The fact that the main GOP presidential hopefuls especial Donald Trump are wrapped in the Stars and Stripes and supporting the Bible over the Constitution should scare people to death.  I took Chuck Whyte grocery shopping because his food stamps come on the 15th and the snow storm makes it nearly impossible to walk with his crutch but no one can work a coupon like that girl... I bought some sunflower seeds for the squirrel in the tree. Yes I have a furry friend that scampers up the poplars. I love watching him. This evening I made a loaf of banana nut bread for Levon because he came to pay me back the $380 I loaned him. He’s found a job for $12 an hour and has a car now. Not bad for my Armenian Ward who landed on my door step penniless but now is a true believer in the American dream. Well I better end now because I am sure I have talked your ear off.  I just want you to know that whatever the new year brings you will always be in my heart along with the many men of my life that I hold dear. I wish you a very Merry Christmas hoping that this is the last one where you are separated from the ones you love and the Ghosts of Christmases Past, Present, and Future will also help you realize what a fool you had been and now you have the opportunity to be a better man. The man you were intended to be.  As I have been and always will be Your Friend Ben

 

18 December 2015 Friday

Adopted this little squirrel ... Hung a bird feeder filled with sunflower seeds to get him through winter I thought I had one squirrel but I've counted three... Having a few friends over for a movie and dinner so I made a pot of Grandpa Williams Chili that's simmering on the stove and Grandma Williams chocolate pie...grandma when they ran their cafe in Earth made pies daily with Aunt Beulah. Grandma would make her chocolate pie without milk because no refrigeration in the 1930s and pies were left on the counter...they always sold out of pies so there were no left overs. I make my chocolate pie without milk too...later when it cools I will top it with a meringue. I was thinking that the Danforth Williams reunion in Heaven must be filled with good food because what kind of reunion would it be without country cooking... If that's not in the Bible it should be...Shoveled my front side of the street to the gutters...it was five feet out into the street but since it was thawing thought I better get it off before it freezes to ice... Finished putting the meringue on the chocolate pie and made the corn bread to pop in the oven later, now to rest a bit before final touch up. It was a small but fun turnout for movie night. Just Michael Romero, Andy Dalrymple, Jay Vallar and Kent Scadlock. Love spending Xmas with the Griswald to make me appreciate a nice peaceful holiday without the craziness. Kent McKay Scadlock and Joel Jay Vallar brought extra treats so we were inundated with goodies. Yes Jay took his nap lol...Tradition! Hope Alan Anderson and Greg Allen gets to feeling better. We missed Robert Edward Cross to so I've decided to make a change

I've decided to change our days when I host movie nights as not to compete with 3rd Friday Bingo. Starting in January I will switch to the 2nd and 4th Saturday's so people who are still working won't be so tired and should not compete as much with Bingo. I am also changing the time for dinner to 6 o'clock so people can get home earlier or hit the bars to go clubbing (who am I kidding?) the hot tub will still be available ... If you have others who might fit in with our little band please invite ... We will make do ...Thanks again for being good movie friends...

·         Joel Jay Vallar You got it right Ben, it is a tradition. And a compliment to you as well. Your nice, warm, and homey entertainment room!

·         Greg Allen I missed you all and appreciated the cornbread and fruits. Hopefully I'll be better soon. And I think Saturday nights will be better too. Hugs and love to you all!

·         Joel Jay Vallar We should definitely do the hot tub next time!

·         Robert Edward Cross Oh that will be great, I hate to miss out and it sounds like Saturday might be good for others as well. Ben, I really appreciate being included in this exceptional group of men.

·         Charline Wachs Mom liked Grandma chocolate pie     

·         Maddox Hinckley Such a housewife. Gotta get you married off after all these years. Treat yourself!

·         Edgar Ben Williams Last of the red hot mamas...

·         Richard P. Butler Damn you Ben. I need to take a cold shower. Thanks a lot!!!

·         Andy Dalrymple Can't wait to get my mouth around that!

·         Frances Griess Care to share those recipes with the cousins that don't have them?

·         Edgar Ben Williams I will have to dig the exact recipe from one of my journals but I make it so much I kind of can give you the ingredients off the top of my head... Grandpa never used onions but I do. I grind them in with the meat. Grandpa used whole cumin seeds tied in a stewing cloth while I use powdered cumin. Grandpa used fresh garlic and I use powder. Grandpa always cooked his beans and chili separate. I do too but then I add the beans in so its chili beans... Grandpa always used Gephardt Eagle ground chili... I do when I can find it otherwise any good red not dark red chili powder is fine. grandpa always used New Mexico dried chilies and I do too...makes a difference... and always use Spanish Red paprika...not the dark. The portions vary by how much you are making... Frances you are a good cook so you know that... If you use hamburger it will cook grainy best to use chili meat and better to grind your own... I love my meat grinder from Sears... Do not trim fat...in fact make sure it has plenty or buy extra suet... It's the fat that brought out all the flavor... For about 3 pounds of meat mix in two tablespoons of cumin powder, two tbsp garlic powder, two table spoons of crushed chili pods, (take seeds out if you like a more mild chili), two tablespoons of chili powder (more if you like hotter), about a 1/3 cup of paprika ( that gives color as well as flavor) and about a 2 tsp of salt. I mix everything in to the meat although if you use cumin seeds add to water not the meat. I like to add an onion while grinding the meat that juices it as well. Put all in a big stock pot and add approximately 4 cups of water and boil...don't fry the meat... After it comes to a good boil simmer for several hours...it can be transferred to a crock pot after meat had been thoroughly cooked... It will seem soupy and thin compared to most chili... That is why I cook up a batch of pinto beans and add later...it thickens it up...well that's about all there is to it...play around with the amounts... Grandpa s chili was not tomato based or had corn meal in it as thickener as most do... It's just chili seasoned meat...I like mine thicker so I add the beans

·         Frances Griess Okay now unexpected chocolate pie. And thanks you filled in the part I was missing. The paprika and boiling vs browning

·         Edgar Ben Williams Even easier... 2/3 flour, 2/3 cup sugar, 1/2 cup powdered cocoa pinch of salt about 13/4 cup water stir until boils and thickens, add 3 tbsp butter, and separate 3 eggs. Reserve whites for meringue... scramble the eggs in separate bowl and drop in a little of the chocolate pudding into eggs slowly and stir to temper them so they don’t cook into scrambled eggs... Slowly pour eggs into the pudding mixture and stir thoroughly. Should be thick and pourable. Pour into a prebaked pie shell and let cool. It thickens more and doesn’t need refrigeration... I use dark chocolate powder but regular is what grandma used. cool for about an hour and whip up meringue from egg whites or if prefer whip cream. Grandma used meringue.

·         Richard P. Butler Even easier have Ben make it.

·         Edgar Ben Williams Lol. My cousin Frances lives in Oregon

·         Frances Griess Thanks for sharing. Merry Christmas

·         Edgar Ben Williams You too cuz...

 

19 December 2015 Saturday

I've got a kink in my neck that even hot tubbing hasn't relieved so going to bed with a slice of chocolate pie and hot coffee... Are the genetical wired stupid prone to being Republicans? The Democrats don't have all the answers but the alternative is to cave in to racist, fear mongering, gun loving, life hating, xenophobic homophobes, who will work you for slave wages without any health care so that 1 percent of the population can obscenely engorge themselves on the food from your children's mouths leaving your kids to struggle in a dystopic future of desert encroachment as cities become inundated and mass famine give rise to terrorist cells that promote eternal warfare by which the military industrial complex compete with the pharmaceutical megaplex for profits from killing and sedating third world populations while Americans are forced fed Fox News placebos and are addicted to Theocrats that sell salvation after death. Hallelujah!BYU lost to the Utes in the Las Vegas Bowl so I wrote on Facebook ‘Oh, somewhere in this favored land the sun is shining bright, The band is playing somewhere, and somewhere hearts are light; And somewhere men are laughing, and somewhere children shout, But there is no joy in Provo—mighty BYU has struck out.”

·         Kevin Scott Regarding the John Plowman addition: a work friend of mine was raised by two dads. Last night she brought her dad to our company Christmas party (the partner of decades left three years ago) and we sat together. I was telling them about the group and she begged me several times throughout the evening to get him involved, as he doesn't get out at all and is fairly isolated. And he will only go if I bring him (at least at first). He lives in Bountiful. You men made a good thing, thank you.

·         Benedgar Robert Cross also lives in Bountiful

 

20 December 2015 Sunday

Well I went and saw Star Wars at the Gateway Megaplex as part of an activity for Gay Men Aloud. Several people said they would like to go as a group so I spent several days planning it and finding the right time and theater and for all that effort only one person showed up. John Cooper the person who ran Affirmation in 1986 when I came out of the closet. So this is the second time I have tried to do a group movie event and both flopped so I am done with that. I am glad I went though. I can see how this new Star Wars is rebooting the franchise to a new generation while being a bridge to the first fans of my generation. I first saw the original with my wife Fran at the old Centre Theater back in May 1977 at the very first showing. I didn’t know anything about it but I liked science fiction so I went. When I left the theater there was a long line clear down the street on Broadway…Word had gotten out. For at least 3 weeks or more there was always a long line. Back then you had single screen theaters and the Centre Theater was the only theater in SLC playing it. Today every theater in the county was playing multi-screenings in the same theater of Star Wars and still on the 1st and 2nd Day many were sold out. I love Star Wars but not a fanatic and don’t have to be the first to see it. Done that nearly 40 years ago by chance LOL. But God, it was such a long 3 year wait to see the next Star Wars.  This one ended too with a cliff hanger also to get people back in the theaters to see the next one. And yes I loved it even if much of the plot was like an updated original Star Wars… So smart to keep the John Williams score. It would not be Star Wars without it. There are some movies that makes America seem like a real community and Star Wars is definitely that. A true national cultural experience… Even Hilary Clinton at the last Democrat debate ended saying “May the Force Be With You.” LOL

·         Michael Aaron I loved it too and appreciated the nod back to the old stories. It was a good intro to a new audience while giving the old audience some fantastic storyline. Loved the 40-year reunion of Leia and Han, etc.

·         Charline Wachs Mom even went and saw the first Star Wars by herself. I think she was between jobs. She said that she like the first one. As far as I know she never went and saw any of the others at the theater

·         Me to FB friends I don't like having a large number of friends, in fact, I do not accept some requests at all. Others I've deleted over time, due to the way they do things or some of inappropriate comments they post. I am happy to have you because you are among my best of The Best.

·         Stephanie Williams We do have some similar thinking.

·         Kathryn Warner I feel the same way.

·         Chris Johnson Did you know that friendship and love are probably two of the most abused words in the entire English language? When I die, I would like my family and friends to lower me into my grave so they can let me down one last time.

·         Andrea Dahl We feel honored!

·         James Clark I do the same thing

·         Steve Brackenbury Same here Ben

·         Douglas Wortham Ben, I'm blushing.

·         Jamie Turnbow Awe, that's nice to hear smile emoticon

·         Appio Hunter Right there with you. heart emoticon

·         Maureen Aisling Duffy-Boose That's an honor, Ben. Thank you!

 

21 December 2015 Monday Yule

Woke up at 430 and couldn't go back to sleep so got up cleaned the kitchen, baked some banana bread, wrote a letter, put some chicken thighs in the oven to roast. Went to lay down with the hounds at 8 because they were not happy being up so early...maybe I should get up now and fix some breakfast...  I went and picked up Robert Cross to take to Gay Men Aloud tonight because  he can’t drive due to having knee surgery. It was my turn to facilitate again so I came early and decided to meet in the conference room in the south hall instead of the cultural hall. People like meeting in the small space. Although I had to hustle to get the room set up. Even though Charles was there about 15 minutes before the meeting he did nothing to help set up chairs. Not once has he lifted a finger to set the meetings up. It’s always been on Kent and my shoulders. Well come January he can set up the meeting himself. We had a good turn out tonight with it being so close to Christmas and it being such a blustery day. I gave a presentation on Gay Energy and The Queer Spirit while Ruadhan O'sheridan informed the group about the Pagan communities and their traditions. Kent counted 31 people there tonight. The meeting room to the south of the cultural hall seemed to be acceptable to the group except that we had technical difficulties stacking chairs [okay I had difficulties] the meeting went without a hitch. Jim and David Andreason and others were chair wranglers. I posted in the GMA Files of this group the paper I did of my presentation. I wrote Kyle a letter this morning to get it in the mail by 1 pm

·         Dear Kyle, I received your letter dated the 15th on Saturday and put in the mail to Jim that day with the following as a cover letter.  I also sent him a text message that he should be receiving a letter from me and he responded that he’ll be in Mexico until January 8th.  So I don’t know if that will give him enough time to respond and attend the January 11th meeting. I hope so. I sent you some Christmas money today so should be in your account by Christmas Day.  If not spend a little of the money that is in your account and put the money in to replace it.  Your commissary I am sure is closed on Christmas Day. Today is the Winter Solstice so fall is officially over. We have already had several snow storms but the one from a week ago has pretty much melted. Suppose to have a few storms this week so maybe we will have a white Christmas. Last Saturday was the Las Vegas Bowl between BYU and Utah and you would have thought it was a matter of life and death the way they were posting on FB blow by blow accounts. I had to get away from all the chatter so went to the genealogy library but actually I was in the lion’s den because of all the background noise I heard from missionary elders there and others who kept asking each other about the game. I swear the LDS officials send the homeliest boys and doofuses to work in the library extracting names. Not a cute one among them and you know I am not picky at all. They must send the boys, who want to serve a mission but don’t have the social skills or intellect to interact with the public, to serve baptizing dead people. “I see dead people.” Anyway after I came home the jubilation could not be contained by my “liberal” Ute Fans… but I felt sorry for the poor Mormons. I wrote on FB: Utah County Lamentations-By the fountains of Bellagio, there we sat down, yea, we wept, when we remembered BYU. Sunday I went and saw Star Wars the Force Awakes at the Gateway Megaplex. I had planned it for a GMA activity and all these people said they wanted to see it as a group. But when I got there only one other person showed up! So much for planning group activities in the day of Grindr and social media. There was a time you could get 10 to 15 people to attend a movie together.  Anyway I am done trying to be the social director for the group, many being stick in the mud friends of Charles Frost. I can see how this new Star Wars is rebooting the franchise to a new generation while being a bridge to the first fans of my generation. I first saw it at the old Centre Theater back in June 1977 at the very first showing. I didn’t know anything about it but I liked science fiction. What a change in what I expected from movies after that! When I left the theater there was a long line clear down the street on Broadway…Word had gotten out. For at least 3 weeks or more there was always a long line. Back then you had single screen theaters and the Centre Theater was the only theater playing it. Today every theater in the county was playing multi-screenings in the same theater of Star Wars and many on the 1st and 2nd Day were sold out.  I love Star Wars but not a fanatic and don’t have to be the first to see it.  Done that nearly 40 years ago by chance LOL. But God it was a long 3 year wait to see the next Star Wars.  This one ended too with a cliff hanger also to get people back in the theaters to see the next one. And yes I loved it even if much of the plot was like an updated original Star Wars… So smart to keep the John Williams score. It would not be Star Wars without it.  There are some movies that makes America seem like a real community and Star Wars is definitely that. A true national cultural experience… Even Hilary Clinton at the last Democrat debate ended saying “May the Force Be With You.” LOL A cousin of mine was asking for my Grandpa Williams chili recipe that I knew I hadn’t written down in my journals but couldn’t remember which one. I came across this passage I had written the day you were born. “17th October 1979 Wednesday- Worked from 7 am to 12 midnight. Worked Band Day where competing marching bands from high schools and universities marched in the Rice Stadium. It rained and rained this evening & everyone was soaking wet.” Monday's child is fair of face, Tuesday's child is full of grace, Wednesday's child is full of woe, Thursday's child has far to go, Friday's child works hard for a living, Saturday's child is loving and giving, But the child who is born on the Sabbath day Is bonnie and blithe and good and gay. In case you were wondering the number one song the week you were born was Michael Jackson’s "Don't Stop 'Til You Get Enough" LOL I was working in maintenance and set up for the Special Events Center at the University of Utah when you were born. My regular shift was from 7 to 4 but whenever there was a special event at the Center or Rice Stadium, a crew of us did set up. I even did set ups for concerts at the center including the Beach Boys, Ella Fitzgerald, Donna Summers, and Johnny Mathis. It made for some pretty long days. My main job was to use a buffer and wax and polish my section of the concourse and clean the bathrooms.  I made more money on the overtime then I did my 7-4 shift. Sometimes we stayed until 3 in the morning tearing down a concert stage to clear the court for the Coaches to do Basketball practice. On those late nights we all just slept in the break room there because we’d have to be back at work at 7 a.m. I was 28 years old and pretty buffed from all the physical work I was doing. And I was so in love with my 29 year old boss Gary Ratliff who loved me and had me spend a lot of time with him in his office playing Backgammon although we never did anything or admitted we had these feelings for each other. He was married with two kids and I was married also. He had a house way out here off of Redwood Road and about 3rd North…strange that I should be out this way too. Two other guys that worked on his crew were closeted Gay men too. One time we all had our hair permed because that was the style then and you had to comb it out with a pick. I had my beard then too so I was kind of hot. It was a crazy time and now we are old men.  Just thought it was fun for you to know where I was in my life as you were entering yours. As I was or ever shall be Your friend

                                                                                                        

22 December 2015 Tuesday

The first Day of Winter and it snowed and rained all day but nothing really stuck to ground. I was up early again by 6 pm but took it pretty easy all day. I laid around most of the day and watched a series called World War II in color. It’s interesting to see all these old B&W images in color. Buddy has aural hematomas in the right earflap. Its caused by a rupture of tiny blood vessels in the floppy part of the ear. One veterinarian site I looked at said to wait a few days to see if it drains back down before going in for surgery so I guess I will wait.  It doesn’t seem to bother him poor old guy. Daisy and he will be 11 years old in March. Then when I was on my way over to Mike’s to take Coco home a computer sign in my cruiser dashboard said Gascap. So I tightened it but it still reads gas cap. Michael said if it doesn’t go away to call him tomorrow. After feeding the dogs I decided to go to Walmart to buy some Hot Tub supplies but I guess that stuff is seasonal and they didn’t carry any but I did buy a new pillow to replace one that Buddy wet on when it fell on the floor. I also bought another brown sweatshirt for this winter and some clear Christmas lights that I will put on the front step railing replacing the colored ones.

 

24 December 2015 Thursday

I woke up with a horrific charley horse in my right thigh that I could not walk off so I ate a banana for the potassium and took a hot shower and that seemed to help. Then I cooked and cleaned house for Christmas Eve dinner with Chuck Whyte, Michael Romero, Kent Scadlock and Andy Dalrymple. We had a nice visit after dinner. Well Christmas Eve is done and Gone for 2015... My old neighbors the Giles and Bill Poore came bearing gifts this afternoon and this evening had friends over for a ham dinner. We had a good time visiting but now I am pooped and time to dream of sugar plum fairies... Merry Christmas all and hold the near and dear tight...Promising Young man gone way too soon 20 year old Zachary Lusk...only met him once on Jim Dabakis Utah Progressives show... Charming and bright... Terrible loss for his family and friends

 

25 December 2015 Friday Christmas

Merry Christmas one and all... the celebration of the birth of a good man 2015 years ago is a joyous reminder of how precious the gift of life is and how each baby is a miracle. The birth of Jesus Christ reminds us that babies are a renewal of life and hope and that we at this winter solstice when the world seems bleak, can renew a promise of having good will to all men which will bring about peace on Earth.  Alan and Kyle came by and picked up Corky and Bhanni about 1 pm and then I had a nice quiet day. I hope everyone enjoyed their Christmas get togethers or their Christmas solitudes. Did very little Christmas morning except read Facebook posts how family and friends were enjoying the day. In the evening went a Christmas pot luck hosted by Kevin Scott and his partner Jose Castillo. Many men from Gay Men Aloud and other friends I knew were there and I enjoyed myself immensely. I find that I love the company of fun witty and intelligent Gay men. The full moon was radiant peeking through winter shadowy clouds... Magical .... Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night...

·         To Jim Dabakis I am sorry about the death of Zachary Lusk... What a tragedy for such a talented soul...I know it must affect you pretty hard... I get heart sick thinking about his family and the mother being killed before... And how heart wrenching to put away his Christmas presents he never got to open... A tragedy all around especially when it was so senseless but young people think they are invincible

·         Jim -I am having a very hard time. Worst Christmas ever. He had become like a son to me. He was immensely talented. And, despite having endured so much--positive, happy, optimistic and uncynical....I will never see him get married, raise a family soar in his profession. Live. I am grief stricken. 2015, Year of Death. Dad, Trevor and Zachary.

·         Me-I looked through his FB posts at all the amazing things he accomplished in his short time here... He thought of you as his hero... What a great honor... It's a year of great loss for you... 2007 was hard for me when Kathy Worthington, Chad Keller, and my first love John Cunningham all committed suicide... However they got to live out their lives as did your Dad and Trevor but what legacy this young man would have left us we will never know... But I am convinced that there are other exception young men who will carry on Zachary's passions ... We are all connected ... I am sorry you are grieving but carrying on what you are doing is the greatest way to pay tribute to this young man,... This sweet boy

·         Jim-thanks ben sweet swords

·         Me-You are much loved by many people

·         Jim - Thanks Ben. Zachary and I have been working together for almost a year. He had become like a son to me. He had endured so much (one year of high school hell in a damn restorative therapy center out of state)--yet he had come out so good. So honorable. So decent, so vibrant and uncynical. Almost like he was from another planet. Honors at the Eccles. A magic personality. I wanted to see him grow up, have a great family and see what his contribution would be. He was so excited about the Session.

·         Me-At least he knew that his hero loved and cared for him... Seems like such a tragic waste when there seems at time so few good genuine people in the world. Hard to grasp the senselessness of it all. To see a light shine so bright only to be snuffed out makes no sense .... I know he knew how much you valued him and that is a blessing in itself. This is why children aren't meant to die before their parents. I know you feel the same sorrow and I hope you find a way to channel your grieve to preserve this boys memory

 

26 December 2015 Saturday

Bill Poore came over today for lunch and we finished off the left overs. My father passed away the day after Christmas in 2003. He had gotten up to go out to get the newspaper and came back into the house and before he could get to the kitchen he died instantly from a stroke, When my mother got up she found him lying on the floor. I am grateful he never suffered nor had any real illnesses or accidents in his life time. I am sure he saw enough trauma as a 19 year old sailor in WWII when his mine layer ship the USS Gamble was hit by a Japanese bomber the day before the invasion of Iwo Jima. The bomb killed 5 of his mates and crippled the ship. My dad worked hard all his life, and married his Texas 16 year old sweet heart as soon as he was mustered out of the Navy in 1946. He had a good life and a happy life raising a family in Garden Grove California. When my mom called to tell be of dad's death I was in the middle of shoveling out one of the worse snow storms to hit SLC. Most of the city was without power as we were for nearly 2 days. No way to get home with airport shut down and had to sit in a dark frigid house for a day and a half with no electricity going out on my mind just wanting to be home for my mother. He died the day of the great tsunami that killed hundreds of thousands in the Indian Ocean so I was not alone in my grief. Grateful that he called his brothers on Christmas Day and talked to his family before he departed this world. He was born 19 January 1925 and would have been 90 today if he had lived. We never really knew each other or connected with one another. It wasn't that I was Gay he just couldn't connect with me. When I would call home and he answered he would briefly ask how I was doing and then pass me off to my mom. I don't think he ever knew what to say to me. He was not demonstrative but showed his love by providing for us. As a kid he never said he loved me but the day I graduated from high school while in my robes he stooped down and polished my shoes. That is how I knew he was proud of me. His generation did not want to relate to their children they simply wanted to raise them.

·         Roland Ron Holmgren What a nice tribute to your father. I was never close to my father. I think it was a generational thing also.

·         Michael Christensen-Frame I lost my dad when I was 14. He was much like you describe yours . I think it was just the way they were back then.

·         Robert Edward Cross The generation who fought WW 2 all seemed unable to verbally express love. My Father showed me love in many ways but for most of his life did not speak it. He would have been 96 this past Oct.

·         Charline Wachs Dad was not one to say he loved us, he showed it by providing us with a home and food on our table. He loved our mother and his family. Now they are together again.

·         Jd David Burton You are so very generous in your understanding of your father. I could take a lesson from that. Your dad sounds so much like mine and I've carried a lot of unwarranted judgment because he never told me he loved me, never. That was the way they were raised. They were victims of their time. I'm grateful... It's easy for me to express love. A different time. ...

·         Kathy Riser That is beautiful, Ben. My father was in the Navy in the Pacific also. He saw some terrible things. What you say about connecting is very poignant.

·         James Clark Very good . U just made me tear.

·         Ron Johnson You are one of the greatest narrators of our generation. I hope you'll write a book someday and sign my copy.

·         Edgar Ben Williams You are too kind...I am just a rambler smile emoticon

 

27 December 2015 Sunday

Dr. Robert Spitzer died at the age of 83 you can thank him for helping remove homosexuality as a pathology... Gay people were considered to have a mental illness until challenged and this diagnosis justified the ban of Gay people from government jobs and private sector jobs. Gay activists began to confront the APA about its position on homosexuality. There were a series of dramatic encounters between activists and psychiatrists at the annual meetings of the APA between 1970 and 1972. While the opposition to the activists was vehement by some in the APA, there were increasing numbers of psychiatrists (e.g., Judd Marmor) who supported the activists' view. These were members who were familiar with the research findings showing that homosexuality occurred in large numbers of people, in persons who demonstrated normal psychological adjustment, and that it is present across a range of cultures’. Robert Spitzer and other members of the APA Task Force on Nomenclature and Statistics agreed to meet with a group of gay activists who presented the scientific evidence to its members and convinced the Task Force to study the issue further. The subsequent research review led the Nomenclature Committee of the APA to propose that homosexuality be eliminated from the DSM. This proposal was approved by the APA's Council on Research and Development, its Reference Committee, and by the Assembly of District Branches before being accepted by the APA's Board of Trustees in December 1973. Other major mental health professional organizations, including the American Psychological Association and the National Association of Social Workers, soon endorsed the APA action. The decision to declassify homosexuality was accompanied by the passage of an APA Position Statement, which supported the protection of the civil rights of homosexual persons. Some APA members, primarily psychoanalysts who continued to espouse pathologizing views of homosexuality, challenged the leadership of the APA by calling for a referendum of the entire APA membership. The decision to remove homosexuality was upheld by a 58% majority of voting members

·         Beauchaine wrote-Ben we have similar experiences of our fathers. I am writing this message to you personally because I know you will understand and it is not common information that I am sure not more than a handful know about me and my dad. ...When I was 2 1/2 I saw a photo of a fat man on my mother's vanity.   I asked her who it was as she was going by it into the bathroom....she said it was my father.  The next day the photo was gone and I never saw it again....They were married twice, the second time she and my grandfather were hanging kitchen cabinets in their new house when the bank came to foreclose on it...She married a drunk when I was five, that began my sexual abuse until I was fourteen, and with new asthma meds strengthening me when he took me down in the basement for the last time and came back up and started beating my mom, I bashed his head in with my brothers baseball bat...the police called it self-defense....he married a nurse who took care of  him after that, and was hit and killed by a car while he was crossing a street drunk....I found my real dad's phone number from my grandma, his whole name was Harry Leon Beau Chaine', but like always when he was married to hide from child support, the fifth time he changed it to Kirkpatrick.. So knowing his French name and thinking he was somewhat French, I learned french for 8 years in school, my first job at a French restaurant with Max Mercier, helping his wife Katie open Eiffel Tower Catering that led to my experience starting our catering to support the Gay Help Lines at Gingerbread and Aardvark's..  When I was 14 after my mom had divorced the now brain damaged step dad Keith Olson, my dad started writing to me from Vietnam where he was an electrical consultant for Bechtel Inc, installing power plants for the military.  He promised me a trip through Paris to meet him in Saigon, another of his ruses, and I asked him how the tickets and trip would be paid for....I didn't get another letter and finally wrote him and told him I was gay and had almost killed my step dad for sexually abusing me when he,  Harry, should have been p; protecting me.  My mom story braking down with her final honesty, about him running away from the reservation in Dillon Montana when he was 14 because he got tired of his father beating him with a 2x4 that had holes drilled in it for good welts.  When Harry got his balls at 14, he grabbed the 2x4 out of his own Indian father's hands, and beat him almost to death, walking 7 miles into town to the sheriff's office covered in blood, a drunk who lived in one of  the cells paying for his room and board by cleaning the place, took his overalls and washed them.  The sheriff said he would go find my dad's dad.  He came back in two days and said the man was not dead but wouldn't last long and told my dad to leave town or he would have to arrest him....he made his way to Coeur D'Alene Idaho and worked for a migrant farm owner, whose name was...Beau Chaine'.  This guy adopted my dad and got him into repatriation sending him finally to Coyne Electrical  College in Chicago, where he got a degree in Commercial Electrical Engineering. So when I heard this at 27 years old, at my father’s funeral in Coeur D'Alene after he called us from a job in Saudi Arabia, saying he had had a massive stroke and wanted to come through Salt Lake to see his three boys from here, I picked him up at the Airport, put them up at the Hotel Utah, and took a tape recorder, saving 7 tapes of what were probably lies form his mouth.  At our last dinner at the Spaghetti Factory, he had the balls to ask me for the 3 Coyne Electric College Books my mom had kept that I had memorized to learn electricity.  Long story later.   I told him that if he insisted on his last request from me being another selfish one, the Lord would make sure he wouldn't make it back home with his then wife Dot safely to San Francisco.  Later as they were  all driving through Idaho, he in the middle of the front seat, they stopped for gas and nudged him to wake up , but he had another stroke in his sleep in the front seat and had died, never making it back home to San Francisco with is books.  I thought I  would rather keep my last name which was the name of some one that loved my dad as his own son, more than the first two names he had given me of Mitchell Roy, two of his Indian Brothers.  So then I became Beau Chaine’ and have never used my first two names since then. A granddaughter of his fifth marriage arranged a first and last reunion of all the five families in Boseman Montana 6 years ago, and we all met for the first and last time on  a ranch there, sharing the many lies our dad h ad told us all and discovering sad truths about him even more.....Thusly I am Beau Chaine'....God Bless and thanks for the memories of your dad.

·         Ben-I am so sorry for your childhood pain...but look what a good man you became and how you take care of others and your love for animals.  You played a big part in my early days of coming out as a Gay man in the 1980's and will always loom large in the histories of that period.

 

28 December 2015 Monday

Made an appointment at the Vet tomorrow for Buddy. Poor guy must have broken some blood vessels in his ear that has filled up like a balloon. So I will have to have that drained and will have his lumps on his hump that are as size of hen eggs. They don’t hurt him so probably just fatty deposits...Schnauzers are prone to them. Still pretty chilly out below freezing

·         Jd David's Hello Garden Grove Boy. My home town too. What are we doing here?

·         Me- I am a retired school teacher and Garden Grove has become Little little Saigon lol. I went to Rancho on Dale Street.

·         I left Cali in Jr High. I went to Warner Intermediate, before middle schools were invented.

·         People are always saying negative things about GG, and I know it's deteriorated since my childhood but growing up there in the 50's and 60's was paradise. I know we can never go home,,, as they say, but my childhood memories are wonderful.

·         We came to Utah because it was home to my parents, but I've never really felt at home here. Coming out in a small Mormon town, while married was a lesson in survival. I know of the school were you taught. I was a Manger at Franklin Covey and many of my employees did service over there. What a lot of tragedy in those burgundies neighboring apartments. I was under obligation to put in service hours at the school too, but my schedule was grueling so I only made it once. Perhaps if I'd gotten over there more we'd have met.

·         Me Nice to make your acquaintance.  Be Well.

·         JD I'm sorry my message is a mess. I should have edited it. Smart phones are Stupid!

·         Me My folks bought their first house on Dale street in 1953 between Chapman and Orangewood off of Beach Blvd. Only home I knew. I loved the old Orange County but moved to Utah in 1973 and during the 1970's with the Vietnamese refugees the place was transformed so it doesn’t feel like home anymore. I don’t begrudge the change but It feels like China Town  not the Garden Grove I grew up in. And as real estate went sky high all my old schools friends moved away.  Garden Grove shaped me I know that and even though I have lived in Utah for 42 years the first 22 years created my character.  I see you are friends on FB with many people I know. I don’t care much for Utah but I love Salt Lake City...crossroads of the West LOL

·         Interesting.  I appreciate knowing more about you. We bought our house on GG just off Newland, and GG Blvd. on Lomay Ave in 1956. I was born in Santa Ana. As for Utah, it's a great place, Except for the climate and the positive. Both are pretty big issues. I'd have shipped out years ago, but I was  manipulated into a young marriage as a "cure" for being queer and, as a result, I have kids here.  That is the one and only reason I'm still  in UT and will likely die here. We were raised devout Mormon but my children have all left Mormonism after temple marriages.   That makes life much easier. I left SL exactly one year ago today. I had lived there for 25 years. I am in the process of building a house in Spring City. I get to SL regularly, for business, church and such but I don't miss the pollution. I'm coming up today for a break.  Probably not the best day, I guess  the inversion is back. I do love your beautiful silver beard. You have an amazingly  pleasant look.  Have a good day. JD

·         Me We have similar experiences that I was led to believe a marriage would cure my "same sex attraction". I hate that phrase. I am a homosexual Gay Man LOL I was married in 1977 and after I came out in 1986 we separated as friends and didn't divorce until 1988.  We never had children, which sometimes I regret and other times I am thankful. We were infertile together but if we had married other people we could have had children.  Her body acted like a spermicide to me... weird... I think she actually married me because I was Gay and we became best friends but I was never in love with her. I loved her but never was in love. I only fell in love with men. Only men could break my heart. I have fought long and hard and was quite active in helping create a viable community with support groups to help what I called the walking wounded and then on top of everything else when the AIDS epidemic hit hard we were dealing with the physically ill and dying. Ive kept the history of the SLC Gay community  and donated a collection to the U of U Marriott Library and actually I was humbled and honored when the State division of History gave me an award for Outstanding contribution for preserving Gay and Lesbian history in Utah. This was special to me only because Utah on a state level finally recognized that we are a people and have a history that contributed to the history of this state. So Ive always said I have lived here longer than Brigham Young did but will never be a Utahn. I am a California who lives in Salt Lake City. This quirky and queer place is like sweet and sour sauce to me and so while I miss the Garden Grove of my youth Salt Lake City is my home and I just deal with being  a Gentile in the City of the Saints. And thus I get to meet interesting people like you. I go to Gunnison like once or twice a month to visit someone in the prison there. In fact I am planning on going today if the weather holds. Thank you for your compliment. Maybe sometime we can meet for coffee either here or Spring City...

 

·         You're interesting and unselfish... Investing so much time for the benefit of others is a wonderful thing.

·         I have identified myself as walking wounded.

·         I am still reeling from the loss of a 17 year relationship. It's been 6 years in January and I'm still limping a bit but I have  found my own inner strength, otherwise I'd never have had the courage to strike out and move to the isolation of Sanpete County. I'd love to meet. I have a tiny place in Fountain Green, where I'm living, for the time being. We could meet in Spring City or here next time you come down, or possibly in Salt Lake.  I wish I wasn't going north today. It would be nice to meet. We both need to drive safely. Be Well.

·         You be careful too but I hear the roads are clear and the weather is frigid but no snow, I was in a 15 year relationship to that ended in 2009 but it was a good thing really and are better off as friends than living together. I still see him on nearly a daily basis as that I babysit his schnauzer so she doesn’t have to be alone all day. I have 3 of my own so I have furry kids.  I started up a group this last September after retiring from teaching called Gay Men Aloud. It’s for mature Gay men who feel disconnected from the way the community is emphasizing youth and Trans issues. We meet twice a month with panels and group discussions but for me it’s an excuse to get us older men to not isolate and be a community again. We have 155 members, which I call a tribe lol with about 40 people attending on a regular basis.  So it gives me a new connection and am meeting a lot of great men. i love and need the company of Gay men...always have and always will... we are so cool LOL... Well I better get off FB so I can get ready. I have to leave at 10:30 for its a 2 hour ride down and they just start letting in visitors after the inmates have had their lunch. We can only have a two visit and then its 2 hours back to SLC so it makes for a long day. The kid there is like a son to me and he has no one, even his family come see him. I am hoping my visits will make a difference and when he is released he can be a better person and not make the same mistakes. You sound like you are someone I should get to know... [I have a hot tub] hint hint

·         I'm on my way to the hot tub. I'm aware of your group. I have an old high school acquaintance, Grant Cheever, who attends. We've discovered that we are 5th cousins twice, thanks to good old polygamy. I'd appreciate you not mentioning me to him .For the past several months we've been in contact and have spent a little time together. He tells me the best way to get over a lost love is to find another.  I'm painfully aware that he has been trying  to step into that spot, but we are not a match, for many reasons. I think he's a bit unhappy with me at the moment, as my  response has not been what was hoped for. I wish him the best but, you see, I don't believe that a soul is healed by means of "replacement." I believe our strength must come from within.  Otherwise we are eternally dependent.  My intention is to be a contributor in a relationship, not a liability. Be Safe.

·         Ive known Grant for 30 years and when he was lovers with Craig Hunter. In fact Grant lives just around the corner from me in the west part of SLC by Redwood Road and 17th North. Small world. I worked in Bountiful and often picked him up when he was dropped off by his car pool to give him a ride to his house. Small world isn’t it

·         Are you still there?  I'd like to exchange numbers so we can text. 801,864,4007

·         801 505 3459

·         My plans have just changed. My friend in SL is sick and I'm not going up. Any chance you might stop in Fountain Green on your way home?  I'd stay here, if so. It is a small world. I think you might know my cousin, Kathryn Warner. Is that correct?

·         I’d love to but not today I have to be back in Salt lake by 5:30 to have dinner with a friend. I usually head down on Sunday because inmates can only receive visitors Friday through Monday and Sunday there is usually less traffic on the road. I am retired so I could come down really any time the roads are clear

·         Okay.

·         I love Kathryn... I love her voice. She was a part of my Sacred Faeries group back in the early 90's  Her faerie name was Luna... She attended my Summer retreats called Beyond Stonewall and she is my FB friend. I haven’t seen her since she moved to Colorado. I adored her.

·         Our mothers were sisters. Her mother was an angel. My favorite cousin, her older sister Pamela recently died. It was a huge loss. Pamela should have been a standup comic. Kath and her new lady were in Spanish Fork for the funeral. We spent a little time.

·         When you speak to her next tell her you know me and I say hi

·         For Sure!

·         We really need to meet since it’s like all are circle of friends are the same except us LOL

·         I'm looking forward to it. Grant has sent some of your writing to me on email and I Like the way you think, hence my reaching out in the first place.

·         OH no one can accuse me of being a wilting flower... I love Gay people and I am very opinionated about issues that I think are hurting them. I was born in Texas with Texan roots so between bloodlines and being raised in California I have never been passive aggressive which is part of Utah's culture.  Disagree with me I tell people that is fine...just don't be ingenuine LOL

·         It seems like I could talk with you all day so I better quit here. I will text you when I get home.  Have a great day. I think you're the genuine article. I'm liking that. Be Safe.

·          

29 December 2015 Tuesday

Took Buddy into the vet this morning at 9:30...had an ear infection and a swollen ear flag from a broken blood vessel, and an infection on his leg from a small tumor popping that Lucky kept licking. They took a sample of the egg size tumor on his rump to see what is going on there. He's got a Jan 18 appointment to clean his teeth and when he goes under for that I will probably have the bump removed. He may be retaining fluid around his internal organs causing his to pant so much... Poor old boy but I have drops for his ears so clearing up the infection is first priority ... When I went to Smiths to pick up some dog food I bought myself a Belgium Waffle maker for a Xmas present to myself. Yum. Just got home safe and sound. It could have been far worse. As I was taking Coco home, as I always do right, as I was turning down his street just about two house down my car died and wouldn’t start. I had all the pups in the car so I walked down to Mikes and he pushed me out of the middle of the street up to a curb in front of his place. We took the pups home in his truck and then went back over to his place. Still wouldn’t start although lights and ignition switch worked. We think the fuel pump went out in it. How lucky I wasn't on the freeway or in an intersection. Even more fortunate I had just renewed my AAA membership in November. My membership only paid for 5 miles of towing and thank goodness where Michael takes his gas fleet for repairs was only 5 miles away. Its 10 dollars a mile after that. So we had the cruiser towed down even though the place closes at 5:30 and we left the key there. Michael took me back home. I have my Sonoma Truck so I am okay vehicle wise and I am going to up my AAA to premium where they will pay 100 mile of towing. So all’s well that ended well but it was super cold and there is black ice everywhere. Glad to be home safe with by furry babies and in a warm house.

·         Jd David Burton I love the way you focus on, and live "in the good. “There was much to be thankful for in that scenario, but many people would only have seen all there was to bitch about. Good-on-you, Ben.

 

30 December 2015 Wednesday

My cruiser should be ready tomorrow ... They are half way through it and have put a timing belt on and it started right up...yay so I didn't ruin the valves... Having the water pump replaced while they have it because it looked bad and don't want to have it torn apart again in a couple of months...bad news it is a little over a 1000 dollars... Oh well it's paid for.

·         Dear Kyle, I hope you are not as despondent like you were before our visit. I am sorry you hadn’t been able to get a hold of me before then. But Wednesday at 6-6:30 pm every week I will be home for you to call if you need to. The weather home was good and glad I went when I did because Monday it began to turn cold and snow again. When I left the prison my temperature gage said it was 9 degrees! Remember me telling you that the dashboard kept saying Gas cap but it must have reset itself because when I left you and started the car up it went back to normal.  You remember me telling you that I had AAA but you said I should go premium because they will tow up to 100 miles instead of 5 miles? Yesterday as I was taking Coco home with all the pups in the Cruiser, as I rounded the corner on Mike’s street about 2 townhouses from his door, my car just stop! Right in the middle of the street so I hurried to Mike’s and he came and helped me push the cruiser to the curb. It was not the battery because lights and everything worked and it wasn’t the ignition switch because it was trying to turn over but it just wouldn’t start like it wasn’t getting any gas…Anyway Mike took the pups back to the house and I went with him back to the cruiser. Still wouldn’t start. Mike said it could have been the fuel pump went out on it. That it stopped almost in front of Mike’s door was fortuitous otherwise it could have stopped in the middle of traffic. Anyway I was able to sit in a warm house while calling AAA and waiting for a tow truck rather than by the side of the road. It was so cold outside around 15 degrees. Mike knew a good mechanic he trusts and deals with on 39th South and 3rd West just 6 miles away. Triple A only pays 5 miles with my membership and its $10 a mile after that. The tow guy was generous and said I didn’t have to pay for the extra mile. Mike took me there to the repair shop to drop off my keys…I just consider someone was watching over me because the car could have broken down anywhere along the 130 mile stretch between Salt Lake and Gunnison. That long 30 miles between Levan and Gunnison there is nothing and not much traffic and probably phone reception is spotty. If my car ever broke down in Gunnison it would be $250 just to tow to Levan and another $100 to Nephi! So yes I am upping my membership for sure. I always wondered what I’d do if my car wouldn’t start in Gunnison. Would the prison officers help me find a tow truck and a repair shop? Is there even motels in Gunnison. if I had to spend the night? I am so glad I didn’t take Bill down with me Sunday because he likes to drive around Gunnison while I am visiting with you. I can’t imagine him breaking down and me stranded at the Prison…. I shudder to think about it, but all in all if my car had to break down it landed me at a good spot.  And I do have my truck still so it’s not like I am stranded. I had just paid the Cruiser all off in October too. I have no idea how much it will cost. A friend of mine said he had his replace a while back and it was like $700 for parts and labor.   That morning I had taken Buddy to the vet to see about his swollen ear, his goose egg size bump on his hind quarters and a sore on his leg that Lucky keeps licking. They drained some of the blood out of his ear but said it will probably fill back up until it dries up on its own. He did have an ear infection so I have to put anti-biotic drops in both ears. They cleaned and dressed the leg wound too which I have to put antibiotics on too. The vet was worried that the bump may be more than fatty tissue so they took a blood sample from that to send to a lab. If its cancer, even if they remove it, there’s no guarantee that it hadn’t spread. So here’s just hoping for it to be a fatty tumor.  The vet also said that Buddy may have some fluid around his internal organs that causes him to be poofy and breathe heavy at times… So I made an appointment for Jan 18 a Monday to have his teeth clean and I will make a decision then to have the lump removed or not. He doesn’t seem to be declining or in pain so I will just hope for the best. The visit was $240 for what was done.  I am so glad the car didn’t break down then. I received a letter Monday dated the 21st from Jeff Kitchen that I have put in an envelope and mailed off to Jim. I don’t know whether he’s still in Mexico or not. In a separate note to me Jeff wrote: “Enclosed is a sample letter for Jim Dabakis. Also on a personal not I want to thank you for all the love and support you show Kyle. It is a huge thing. Compassionate people like you are an example to me.”  I hope Kyle that you will show some compassion and forgive Jeff and Todd for being human.  They have been companions to you for a while now. Don’t throw it away for some perceive slight no matter how much it grieves you for their choices. Everyone is doing the best they can with what they have and the situation they are in. I am sure the decision they made was not meant to hurt or offend you. Hang on to friends and people you love… before you know it suddenly they won’t be there and it all will just be like a lonesome dream. Well I doubt whether you will get this letter until after the New Year. So here’s wishing you a happier year. I wish I could just embrace you the entire 2 hours of our visit rather than the fleeting hugs. I wish you were relaxing in the lazy boy and I could walk by and grab your toe on the way to the kitchen.  I wish I could see you happy, excited, and smiling again. Maybe someday before whatever allotted time I have left I will. The grave’s a fine and private place, But none, I think, do there embrace.” Live an abundant life of love not of temporary things. The material world is an illusion. The only thing that is real is love. I sound like an old hippie. As I have been and always will be your friend  Ben

 

31 December 2015 Thursday

I got my Cruiser back today and seems to be running fine so far. Gave Coco a ride home and the dogs a ride so things are back to normal for the moment. The inversion was bad this morning but seemed to be lightening up some but it’s as cold as cold as an Eskimo's nose. For those going places to celebrate bundle up and be safe. I a staying in with the hounds and having some homemade split pea soup. Probably will finish up my journal for the year that I haven't written in it since Christmas Day. I have 374 pages so far this year or 236,700 words.  I bought a new vacuum today because the old one was making a terrible sound. Staying home this New Year Eve.