Summer 3rd Quarter Journal 2015 July-September

 

JULY

1 July 2015 Wednesday

The Long Hot Summer is in full swing. I saw a picture of the Matrons of Mayhem on the cover of something in all their campy glory. I have weird friends....I am so lucky. I started watching Big Brother today. It’s my summer guilty pleasure. I have watched it since it first came on.  In the news the Utah Pride Center announced that the Mormon Church has for the first time made a contribution to the Center. They said the $2500 contribution will be used by the Pride Center for its homeless and low-income youth program. Jesus must be returning and it’s the end of the world and Mormons want to get on his good side I suppose

2 July 2015 Thursday

Levon and I went to lunch at Café Rio and he told me all about what is going on with him. He’s got his temporary driver’s license now and he said his asylum case should be heard this August. He’s totally pissed with Dave Robinson who is running for Mayor although I can hardly believe that!  Levon had been his web page manager but just quit because as always Robinson was screwing with paying him for the work. Heard little side bits about Biskupski meeting with Robinson to talk him out of running fearing he’s split the Gay vote and she started shouting at him after he had riled her up. I guess Jim Dabakis and Dave had a talk to about him dropping out. While I am not a Jackie fan, I think it’s incredibly stupid for Dave to run since he has no political machine backing him. and Kyle Daniels wanted to come over this evening to fuck. So I cleaned house and changed the sheets on the bed. He came over about 7 and stayed until almost 9 because Alan wanted him home by nine. So we went straight to the bed. What else are there to do  on these hot 100 degree days? I can't believe that Ronnie Gilbert died on June 6 and I never saw it on any of my friends FB posts! One of the greatest folk singers ever, she sang with the Weavers as a contralto with Pete Seeger, Lee Hays, and Fred Hellerman and then had a career of her own. Holly Near said Ronnie Gilbert gave women permission to sing at the top of their lungs. In 2004, she married her partner of almost two decades and her manager, Donna Korones, when then-Mayor Gavin Newsom temporarily legalized gay marriage in San Francisco. So sad to learn of the passing of an American icon and I didn't even know it. She was 88 years old. I missed the Womyn Music of the 1970's and 1980's. Holly Near, Joan Armatrading, Meg Christensen, Chris Williamson, Tret Fure, Diedre McCalla, Margie Adams and all of the wonderful voices from Olivia Records. It always appealed to me more than the Gay Disco and club music. Struck a chord with me... well Luci Malin once said I was an honorary lesbian after being a guest speaker at the NOW conference held in SLC on why Gay men should be feminists. I cultivated my love of Womyn's music from Becky Moss when I was her co-host on KRCL's Concerning Gays and Lesbians from 1987-1994 a weekly local radio program. We always started the program with Gay affirming music that you would never hear on regular radio stations. We had most of these albums at the old Utah Stonewall Center to be checked out. When the place brusquely closed in 1997 most of our collection was lost as were so many precious books like 1st edition of Well of Loneliness and a complete bound set of the Ladder the first Lesbian publication from the 1950's. I tried to save what I could from the archives I had created but I was shut out and threatened to have the police called on me if I interfered with the trashing of the archives. That was one of the darkest periods of my life. Assimilationists do not care that we had a history. Today I was shocked to hear from Levon today that Dave Robinson is running for Mayor of SLC! So there are two Gay people running in the 2015 Mayor Race Dave Robinson and Jackie Biskupski... That has to be a first. This is the same Dave that has taken such advantage of Levon financially and has manipulated him so much for almost a year and a half! Someone wrote on his web page-.”Dave the jackass - Dave Robinson is a complete fake–from his predatory activities on homeless youth providing drugs for sexual favors, too his fraudulent consulting business which has never yielded results for those he fleeced while promising inside access to government solely because he wears his brand of queer on his sleeve. This man’s entire list of lifetime accomplishments could be written on the inside of a cheerio–that is if you discount how he drove his own father to a heart attack and tried to destroy his own family in Highland, Utah. He’s been escorted out of police stations, banned from his own family reunions and former roommates detail his predatory activity with homeless boys and youth. Everything about his man-life is alarmingly improper!”. Well I have no respect for him for sure.

·         Luci Malin Well, yes! I miss that era. It was a very special culture that empowered, gave shape to a vast hidden community of lesbians over the USA , Canada and indeed worldwide. We had our own language, mores, ways of recognizing each other, etc. This 40th Michigan Women's Music Festival (the mothership) is the last one. The other all lesbian music festivals are phasing out too. Such is the power of assimilation.

·         Edgar Ben Williams Something lost but nothing gained.

·         Roland Ron Holmgren I had a famous BYU coach as my junior high gym teacher. I am still scared at how he treated us if we were not one of the elite jocks. He might have been a great football coach, but he was a lousy gym teacher. And a lousy person.

·         Edgar Ben Williams Most of mine were awful but my 7th grade teacher was the first that I fantasized about LOL because I had female teachers in grade school. Something about his wearing tight shorts, hairy legs, and once in a while you could see his armpit hair LOL

·         Roland Ron Holmgren I didn't know you were a famous radio star. One of these days, we'll have to compare notes. I was a little white boy on an all-black station. The history of gay people in the country and Utah must be preserved at all cost. It is a shame that the people who destroyed records, etc. didn't have the foresight to do this. One of the old center was a favorite of mine was with the limited resources to get gay books, etc. they have a remarkable selection you could check out. I remember one time I was visiting, a mother and a her gay son were looking for resources to help her and him. I remember how the librarian spent time with them recommending books and just talking to them. Here was a mother and son trying to navigate the rocky road of coming out, acceptance and understanding. I think they did OK because the librarian really cared.

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3 July 2015 Friday

4 July 2015 Saturday

5 July 2015

 

6 July 2015 Monday

I sent off four letters today to Kyle. This is one I wrote today

·         Dear Kyle, I hope you are well and keeping cool. Last week it was in the hundreds and I could not keep my flowers from burning up. Oh well. My tomatoes are starting to ripen and some will be ready this weekend. I am going in Wednesday for a colonoscopy. Haven’t had one in about 5 years and last time the doctor said I should go in and have things checked up every 3 years because they found a couple of polyps back then. I would have gone in sooner but my co-pay is $500 and it’s hard to justify paying that much just to put something up my butt. This will be the last time I do it, I think, because at 64 who cares? I’ve survived measles, chicken pox, appendicitis, nearly being shot in a robbery, and blood poisoning. Somehow I made it through the worse of the AIDS epidemic unscathed only to live with survivor guilt, and now I have diabetes. Last I heard no one gets out alive but enjoying the journey, laughing, loving, crying, and trying to do some good whether its leaving children behind, or art, music, theater, a building, a philosophy or feeding the poor, is the most we can ever hope for.  Eat you roughage. I wanted to share this from Stephen Colbert that I thought was funny and poignant. "History moves fast. It’s hard to believe that gay Americans achieved full Constitutional personhood just five years after corporations did." Well the Southern States got a spanking from federal courts. those who were still resisting the law. Damn neo Confederates. Some county officials are resigning because their “Christian” beliefs won’t let them “do unto others as you would have done unto you.” What radical liberal said that anyway?  With marriage equality here I began to think about what it was like when I openly identified as a Gay man 30 years ago. Thirty years ago there was no LGBTQ construct. There barely were any openly Gay and Lesbian identified people in Utah. Oh there were tons of homosexuals but I dare say just a few hundred Gay identified people. There were no allies either. They only "allies" we had were those important women in our lives who we identified as "fag hags". They were Gay men's most staunch allies back then. Times have changed. Always do good. You never know how your actions may impact the lives of others; but every so often you get lucky like I did and someone will tell you. Many decades ago we Gay people had to heal ourselves from the negativity constantly hurled at us. In Salt Lake City this was especially true. I knew before we could be a strong enough people to fight for our rights, we first had to love ourselves enough to believe that we were worthy of those rights. The times called for support groups, self-therapy groups, and consciousness raising groups...places to go to know that you were not alone. All the groups I created or were involved in back then had but one purpose and that was to bind up broken hearts and liberate the captives. And no group of people were more broken hearted and rejected or captive to false premises then Gay people during the AIDS crisis. Wasatch Affirmation, Restoration Church, Married and Divorce Gays and Lesbians, Unconditional Support, Beyond Stonewall, the Sacred Faeries, the Utah Stonewall Historical Society all were created by me to celebrate being Gay and to build self-esteem to people whose self-hatred was destroying them. Marriage equality could never have happened if the early activists did not change the hearts and minds of Gay people first. We had to prepare ourselves before we could change the hearts and minds of others. I've always been proud of the “out activists” here in Utah who I am grateful to have known, who plowed the soil, sowed the seeds from which this harvest of marriage equality could emerge. We are harvesting the fields that many have labored in for so many years. Many of whom never lived to see the fruit of their labor. Steve Brackenbury was a 23 year old divorced Gay man when he first came to one of my groups. He was from Spanish Fork and actually had been a drama student of Charles Frost back then. Small world. I always said Mormons are a small world but Gay Mormons are even a smaller world. He wrote me this: "Even though I have not heard your voice in the last 27 years I "hear" you every day through your posts and commentaries. I am so proud of what you have achieved in your lifetime and grateful that I had the good fortune to meet you when I was coming out. With the hindsight of my older, wiser self I have come to realize that I have one regret and that is not having stayed put in Utah, surrounded by the friendships that I had made and would most have assuredly strengthened. I never again found the community in California that I had in Utah. Of course, I was young and impulsive and had found love and that makes you do some fairly bold things. Whenever you post pictures of your Sunday dinners and talk about the friends you had over, I feel a pull towards the Salt Lake Valley. You, sir, have become for me an example of what it means to live life fully and as a tireless hero. The events of the past few years came about as a direct result of your contributions and you made a difference. That really is something". I wrote him back “I don't believe I am a hero however I do believe in the saying "you love who you serve" and I love this community and those who brought marriage equality to America by plowing the fields and sowing the seeds in a desert,  watered by our tears, to make the desert  bloom.”  We are all pioneers in our own way. Well is official. I am a socialist. I signed up for Social Security.  I applied for Social Security the Monday after visiting you. I have been paying into it since I was 17 years old. God Bless Franklin Delano Roosevelt and curse to hell Republicans who want to dismantle it. The SS fund would be solvent if not dipped into for other projects...same with government pensions. Republicans used these funds as private piggy banks and then holler it’s too expensive when it’s time to pay up. The Supreme Court ruled last Monday in June in another split decision that independent commissions can draw congressional electoral districts instead of just state legislators. Will that ever happen in Utah? Well after June 26th I believe in Miracles, the kind of miracles that says, “God helps them first who helps themselves”. There has been a lot of states trying to pull this “religious liberty” shit so they void issuing marriage licenses to Gays and discriminate against anyone they want. Religious liberty means to me that if you use your religion as an excuse to not to do your job,  if you are a public servant and are paid by taxes, you have the liberty to quit and find another job. If you use your religion to discriminate not only are you in violation of the 1st amendment... Your values are screwed up... If a Muslim wanted to stop 5 times a day to pray and not do his job is that religious liberty? If a Jehovah Witness would rather see their child die then have a blood transfusion is that religious liberty? Why is it all of a sudden religious liberty is so damned important? Because it's aimed at Gay people.  Religious liberty is simply code for: we hate you but we aren't to blame because it's our religion not us. In the 1960s “states’ rights” was code for keeping black people in their place. I would like to think Religious Liberty would be about freedom to love not freedom to hate...and people should not kid themselves ,  if you can't treat people equally- you hate them. There is some assclown in the state legislature who is drafting a bill to get the state out of issues marriage licenses all together! Now that is some serious bigotry shit. If that to happen people in Utah would have to flock to Nevada, Idaho, Wyoming or Colorado like they do to gamble, to be legally married.  Well I know by now that you heard that Boyd K Packer died on July 3rd.  Non Gay people, especially Mormons, cannot understand the vitriolic reaction that Gay Mormons and just plain Gay Utahns had upon hearing the news. Mormon allies are bemoaning the comments made against the dead. They saw him as an Apostle of love while we viewed him as an Apostle of hate- directed at us. His protestations that he loved all of “Heavenly Father’s children” rang hollow after 40 years of debasing and smearing us with his rancorous comments. The chilling affect his words had on Gay people especially the youth was horrendous enough but as a “general authority” his pronouncements “over the pulpit” caused many LDS parents to abandon the natural affection they should have had for their children. Where do people think all these homeless Gay youth in Utah come from? LDS homes of course. Accusing the love and affection that Gay people have for one another as being akin to being the most serious sin next to murder has damaged generations of Gay youth. Packer was unable to accept that sexual orientation was innate and not chosen and therefore was unwilling to be a shepherd to the LDS Church’s Gay flock. Better to cast them away and warn against them as being infectious.

·         This is from Duane Jenning director of SL Affirmation and so are some of the more tame comments- “My thoughts and prayers go to the family, but I'm not going to ask if we should forgive Stalin, and Hitler, and Mao, and the Catholic popes who instigated the crusades, or the Mormons leaders (including Brigham Young and the Mt Meadow Massacre) And all the forgivers will just have to forgive me for being angry at the hate mongering, anti-Christ Boyd KKK Packer and all of his enemies of the church. For Gayle Ruzicka, and the Sutherland Institute and the hateful Republican anti-constitutionalist in Utah - thank God/dess she saw the need to take BKP to her bosom. The 1993 BYU Education address, about the enemies of the Church, is his crowning glory – “feminist, intellectuals, homosexuals and single moms”. Since he was involved with Genesis (African Americans), he had maybe enough experience to not include "people of color." Ding, dong, the witch is dead....... the wicked witch . . . He was just a man! Driven, conflicted, occasionally inspired, but mostly wrong, trying to cover up his prejudice in the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I believe I'm a little further along the eternal path . . . but?

·          Kathleen Roberts Kerby Thank you for sharing your point of view. I had no idea this was happening. Easy to not see when you're not the victim of abuse.

·          Duane Jennings and I should add. . . back in my college days I realized that if I was defending the LDS church, I was defending the Catholics, and Jews, and Protestants, and Muslims and Buddhists, etc. And if I was condemning the Catholics, I was equally condemning the Mormons and all the others. I came to understand that God/dess works with all people of faith, and non-faith, today, yesterday and tomorrow and to put my faith in God, and not "the arm of flesh." God Bless Brother Packer and heal the Church and all Churches of the sexism, heterosexism and homophobia, among other issues that plague the institutions.

·         Edgar Ben Williams Packer was a product of the 1950's when homosexuality was not only a perversion but subversive...next to communism; homosexuality was seen as the greatest threat to America. That is why Eisenhower issued an executive order to prevent gay people from holding government jobs. This warped perspective was shaped by David O McKay anti-gay views and Ezra T Benson's insane views on civil rights as being a communist plot ... The only one more homophobic than Packer was Spencer Kimball... Thank God Packer croaked before becoming a prophet which would have imbued his hatefulness with the shroud of Devine will. I only hope Monson can hang on till Oaks croaks

·         Greg Allen Isn't Nelson next in line? He's been anti-gay in his conference remarks too. Holland might be our best hope, but not if he's like his son who has been publicly anti-gay very recently as a sitting university president!

·         Edgar Ben Williams Nelson is 90 also so hoping he “hies to Kolob” soon... Sadly Dallin Oaks is only 82 and comes after Neilsen... but they will drop like dominoes until they hit “kiss ass David Bednar” who is only 63 a year younger than me LOL

·         Greg Allen Christofferson might be the best hope for radical change. I heard recently that he has a gay brother.

·         Duane Jennings that's what the trib says today - Nelson is next in line. I don't pay enough attention to know. But Christofferson is like #11 in line, now 9 with Perry and Packer gone.... it will be 20 years before he could become prophet.

·         Greg Allen I didn't know he was that far down. I would say you never know, but these old rich fools seem to live to be 90 almost without exception!

·         Duane Jennings per their website: President Boyd K. Packer, L. Tom Perry, Russell M. Nelson,  Dallin H. Oaks, M. Russell Ballard, Richard G. Scott. Robert D. Hales, Jeffrey R. Holland, David A. Bednar, Quentin L. Cook, D. Todd Christofferson, Neil L. Andersen Of course the top two have transitioned to the next world.

·         Greg Allen With two openings, it's another opportunity to finally call a non-white to the 12. I'd like to see that.

·         Duane Jennings Not all of the people who came of age in the 40s and 50s were rabid homophobes like Boyd K - yes McCarthyism and the red scare affected many people, with its slanderous pinko-commie, homophobic crap, but not everyone bought it. If Boyd K was as sincere and inspired a man as so many declare, he would have overcome. But he didn't.

·         Bing Young Duane, in your line up list of seniority, don't you have to plug the two in the first presidency back into to whatever spot they held before leaving to work with the President? Though I don't know what that line up would be.

·         Greg Allen That's true, but they are both after Holland in seniority.

·         Bing Young How old is Holland? Oaks is only "middle aged" in this group--seems chances are good that he is the survivor of those more senior than he, looking down the road 5-10 years. Even though Nelson is 90 (was born within the same month as BKP I think), he  is supposed to be in pretty good health--I guess for a while now it is now a question of whether he or Monson goes first. I hear Monson is having some health problems--do you know if they are mobility related, illness related or possibly dementia related. Maybe there is some hope for Dallin Oaks if he does outlast the rest. He went into BYU as president in the early 70s and sort of cleaned things up and made a university out of it and stopped all of the spying on professors suspected of being communists or socialist or Democrats by specially selected faculty of the religion department. I had a couple of profs at BYU who had once been on Ernie Wilkinson's watch list and had had files kept on them. (This is the same lovable Ernie that, in a devotional in the 60s, invited any student with homosexual tendencies to please ask for a tuition refund and leave, as he didn't want the campus "contaminated" with their presence) Some unflattering comments Oaks made about BKP, given privately to Steve Benson back in the 90s, were blurted out by Benson to the press (he didn't stay in the Church much longer), really embarrassing and angering Oaks--but it was a rare insight into the personality dynamics of the 12--if true anyway. And if true, it would suggest that Oaks and BKP were not in sync on everything.

·         Greg Allen As Edgar Ben Williams mentioned above and perhaps could elaborate on, it would not be beneficial for those on the side of LGBT equality for Oaks to be prophet. He is not gay friendly.  Holland is 73 I believe and Oaks has to be at least 85.

·         Bing Young Well Greg Allen, I would wonder if any of them is really "gay friendly", as we understand it. If they were, how could they ever have been promoted to where they are now? The "New Apostle Selection Committee" has to have had BKP on it for the last 30 or more years with an absolute veto power--he presumably wouldn't have agreed with the appointment of anyone who was "soft" on this "crime", outwardly anyway, or the issues of most concern to him.  But remember that Michail Gorbachev also came from the USSR's most inner sanctum of power--and if he had ever hinted at what he might later do as leader, he probably would have been thrown in the Gulag. Nor would Spencer Kimball have ever been made an apostle had his recommending committee in 1943 ever figured that he would one day usher out the black priesthood ban, which would have been inconceivable to the leaders in 1943. We won't ever know for sure what they will do or be like until they are king and can't be threatened any more. That is why I don't think you can necessarily go literally by their printed words out there or conference addresses. Look at their personality characteristics and their history before being on the Board. Spencer Kimball may, in print, have said a lot of hard things about homosexuality too--maybe equal to BKP. But if you were ever in the presence of the man, it was hard to miss how kind and warm and loving he was--he had a light about him practically. That was not something people typically noted when being around BKP. Oaks btw, is 82 and was made an apostle when Spencer Kimball was president. Kimball would have been around 83 at the time of the 1978 announcement changing the policy with blacks and the priesthood. To be honest, I don't know how hardened Oaks' views are related to LGBT stuff--others probably know a lot more and follow this more than me. But prior to becoming President of BYU, Oaks was a true published scholar and intellectual outside of Mormondom, not someone who just got an education PhD from BYU after becoming a church leader. I have no idea how he would really turn out, but it seems like he might be one of the better hopes in the near future if he lives long enough. And I think he probably has a lot of respect and confidence from his peers and the membership at large if he ever were to announce any revisions in the current policy.

·         Edgar Ben Williams Dallin Oaks is the author of the concept "lying for the Lord". My time at BYU during the early 70s under Oaks was awful... Wiretapping, purges, entrapment, witch hunts... Tried to destroy the credibility of Prologue ... I saw firsthand how mean he treated his 2nd wife in public... Can only imagine what goes on at home.... Kimball was a fist in an iron glove...step out of line and down came the hammer.

·         Greg Allen Thanks for your insight, Ben. I wonder if Oaks should also shoulder some of the blame for the electroshock gay aversion therapy that went on at BYU in the 70's? As long as the "brethren" see homosexuality as a wicked and sinful choice, there is little hope for much change. Also, to answer an earlier question, I have heard a rumor that Monson is suffering from dementia, but I haven't heard that as fact. I had higher hopes that he could be an agent of change as prophet, but his indifference has been disappointing. At least he doesn't condemn from the pulpit, I guess....

·         Bing Young I attended in the late 70s and I was told that the purges and witch hunts had happened under Wilkinson and that Oaks had put an end to it--that is my recollection from the couple of faculty members who had been on the target list and were very happy that the Wilkinson days were over. How much overlap occurred between their administrations, I don't know. Oaks supposedly took over in 1971. However, the electroshock stuff was evidently occurring while I was there, though I had no knowledge of it at the time. The Church or BYU says that was part of the behaviorist techniques standard in psychology and in use in a lot of places at the time. Probably small consolation to those that went through it. I don't know what Prologue was, but the magazine Dialogue was founded by Oaks, according to Wiki, and was viewed as similar to Sunstone at the time--though in the early 90s, BKP basically forced most of the faculty to quit contributing and participating in Sunstone. I don't know about Dialogue.

·         Edgar Ben Williams Prologue, first called The Payne Papers, was an anonymous 1977 thoughtful rebuttal to BYU's Dr. Payne's assertions about homosexuals. It was actually written by Cloy Jenkins and surreptitiously printed and distributed in the church office building by Gays who worked there. It was later published locally in the Open Door and nationally in the Advocate in 1978. Affirmation finally published the Pamphlet under the title Prologue. The Church authorities ordered Oaks to put together a committee to refute the arguments in Prologue and actually tried to pawn off their rebuttal as an independent review from an east coast university. Professor Bergen was the head of the committee and they never could come up with a satisfactory reply to Prologue and so the committee was abandoned after spending thousands of dollars. The sad thing is that Bergan had a Gay son who committed suicide in the 1990's. Hate kills.

·         Don Brown Now he's finally learning the truth.

·         Greg Allen I am glad, however, that he lived long enough to see marriage equality become a reality by this independence holiday!

·         Nathan Sourpuss I like that he lived just over a week after gay marriage was legalized in the United States. Just long enough to let that soak in.

·         Lane Ray Alvey I'm tired of reading how loving and compassionate he was. He was an evil man full of hate. I'm trying to remain neutral that he's gone. He was full of contempt and hate for me and he never met me.

·         Duane Jennings I completely agree - and know two people who had him as a mission president, one was an assistant to the press - he states the man would never hug or kiss his sons. There's some sort of emotional, psychological problem there. And several of the quorum referred to him as the Grizzly Bear. From what I hear, he was compassionate with TBM's but not so much with others.

·         Bing Young Mormonism's Richard Nixon--complex, intelligent, paranoid, workaholic, driven, cynical, arrogant, hurtful to enemies, arrogant, petty, condescending--probably a fascinating character study if you didn't have to actually work or have your life impacted by him. Ultimately a tragic character to himself, his family, and his Church, which will sadly pay a high price for his "service" for many years to come. "The evil that men do lives after them; The good is oft interred with their bones." RIP Mr. Packer--may you eventually find some peace for your tortured soul and for the souls of the thousands you hurt and betrayed.

·         Lane Ray Alvey Duane, what is a TBM?

·         Duane Jennings I've heard "true believing mormon" and "true blue mormon." I know anyone reading this letter might be offended by “insensitive” comments about someone that many LDS honored as a “man of God.” But then they might not have had to clean up the damage he did for over 40 years among our folk. This man generated so much hatred because of the cruel and slanderous thing he said over his life about Gay people. He would talk out one side of his mouth how much he loved Gay people and then out of the other utter bile that caused families to split and Mormon youth to despair and commit suicide. He even advocated violence against Gay missionary companions. I once heard him give a talk at BYU about trusting the General Authorities to guide one through spiritual crocodile infested waters. "These spiritual crocodiles can kill or mutilate your soul. They can destroy your peace of mind and the peace of mind of those who love you. Those are the ones to be warned against, and there's hardly a watering place in all of mortality now that is not infested with them." Little did I know that he was one of the crocodiles. Here are some of his gems “I have a hard time with historians because they idolize the truth. The truth is not uplifting. It destroys. Historians should tell only that part of the truth that is inspiring and uplifting- Boyd K Packer 1994” and “[Church history] if not properly written or properly taught, … may be a faith destroyer… The writer or teacher who has an exaggerated loyalty to the theory that everything must be told is laying a foundation for his own judgement… The Lord made it very clear that some things are to be taught selectively and some things are to be given only to those who are worthy. Boyd K. Packer 1981,” and “    There are some men who entice young men to join them in these immoral acts. [homosexual acts] If you are ever approached to participate in anything like that, it is time to vigorously resist. While I was in a mission on one occasion, a missionary said he had something to confess. I was very worried because he just could not get himself to tell me what he had done. After patient encouragement he finally blurted out, 'I hit my companion.' 'Oh, is that all,' I said in great relief. 'But I floored him,' he said. After learning a little more, my response was 'Well, thanks. Somebody had to do it, and it wouldn't be well for a General Authority to solve the problem that way.' I am not recommending that course to you, but I am not omitting it. You must protect yourself." -Boyd K Packer 1976”

I am, as I ever was, and shall ever be  your friend Ben

 

7 July 2015 Tuesday

I gave some thoughts about the Gay Men’s support group I want to start up. I want a name that will be catchy. The Wasatch Maven Gay Men's group? What is a maven for heaven's sake? It's a Yiddish word which means literally "one who knows." A Maven is also a trusted expert who seeks to pass knowledge on to others. Who knows more about being Gay men then senior Gay men? As Gay Baby Boomers now in our silver and Golden years, often we are discarded rather than respected as if we have no value to our community as much as the transitory nature of youth. As witnesses and makers of the 20th Century Gay Rights movement we are the "doyens" of our community but rarely are we treated as such. The Wasatch Maven Gay Men group would purport to change this by bringing Gay Men of the Baby Boomer Generation [1945-1964] together to share and celebrate our common experience, heritage, and journeys. Our generation was the first to bust the closet doors wide open however many of us have retreated into another type of closet, one that isolates us from one another leaving many of us lonely for companionship. The Gay Mavens would be a support group for those Senior Gay men who wish to discuss, to share, and to associate with others who are of the same tribe. It is for a group of Gay men who know what the hankie code was, who know who Harvey Milk and Anita Bryant were, who know what GRID stood for, who remembers the significance of Pink Triangles, ACT UP, and Queer Nation. It's for Gay men who want to learn how to maneuver through all the issues of being Gay Elders. We are the first generation to live as openly Gay Seniors and we need to stick together as we have always done blazing the path for others to follow. However This group is not simply a social organization, it is part that, but more importantly we are a support group with the goal of nurturing, healing and educating our senior Gay selves. What to expect. As seniors in Salt Lake City's Gay men's community we should be respectful of each other's experiences and opinions and while we hope to be engaging we certainly are not a debate club. While we know most attendees will be on fixed incomes, we hope to be a self-sustaining group and just raise enough funds each meeting by passing a collection to raise rent money and for refreshment. The first Wednesday Circle Meeting - a facilitated general peer discussion meeting of topics relevant to aging Gay Men. The third Wednesday Information Meeting - Guest presenters on various topics from experts on health issues, legal issues, even Gay history When: the first and third Wednesday of the month Spring to Fall 7:00-8:00 pm and Fall to Spring 6:00-7:00 pm Where: Central City Community Center, SLC

·         Benedgar I rebranded this after discussing with Charles---- Opinions and Comments? GAY MEN ALOUD Our generation was the first to bust the closet doors wide open only to, as we age, retreat into a closet of isolation. Some senior Gay men are lonely for companionship and hungry for the Gay energy. We are for you. What is Gay Men Aloud? GMA is a bimonthly meeting for bringing together Gay men to- make new friends, connect with old friends, discuss our concerns, listen to experts on financial, legal, and health issues and have fun. Gay Men Aloud • Is for bringing Gay Men of the Baby Boomer Generation [1945-1964] together to share and celebrate our common experience, heritage, and journeys. • Is for supporting those mature Gay men who wish to discuss, to share, and to associate with others of our own tribe. • Is for helping Gay men maneuver through issues of being Gay elders • Is for nurturing, healing and educating our senior Gay selves by our peers • Is a volunteer, self-sustaining group with funds raised going for meeting space and for refreshment. Gay Men Aloud When: 1st and 3rd Wednesday of each month. The 1st Wednesday is a Circle Meeting - a facilitated general peer. The 3rd Wednesday is an Informational Forum Meeting with guest presenters. Time: Spring to Fall at 7:00-8:00 pm. Fall to Spring at 6:00-7:00 pm Where: Central City Community Center, SLC

·         Kent Ben and Charles, for what it's worth, I really like the rebrand. Gay Men Aloud has power and the pride we celebrate built into it. I love the concept of the bimonthly meetings. They allow for the social (which I am looking for in a group), sharing of information and an educational opportunities. I'm excited to be a part if this and I'm willing to do whatever I can to make it a success for our community. Thanks for including me in the process. Kent

·         Benedgar Oh you will be included alright... fasten your seat belt. After I am done with my colonoscopy tomorrow I will check put the CCCC [central city community center] to see if that is a viable meeting space. I will ask Michael Aaron to place an ad in the Q and I already have a GAY MEN ALOUD FB Group going that can be tweeked and used for information for this group... There are 5 Wednesdays in July and the 1st is already over and the 3rd is the 15th. Not sure if we can be operational by the 15th so we could change to 2nd and 4th. However, I think people have a tendency to remember more when it’s the 1st of the month ... so perhaps we need to start in August and promote it this month?

 

8 July 2015 Wednesday

I heard that Charles Lynn Frost resigned from SAGE. Not sure of the reason why but having to maneuver between the SAGE Board and The Pride Center overlords that would be enough for anyone, even for someone as passionate as Charles is and was about serving the aging LGBT population, to throw up his hands and say I'm done. I don't know how anyone can safely make it through the minefield of political correctness these days to appease all the different agendas of the so called LGBT communities. Notice I said communities because I don't believe we are a "community" if we truly ever were. LGBT is about as effective as the Articles of Confederation or the Austro-Hungarian Empire. I am a Gay Man and couldn't give a fig about genderqueer politics any more than some care about Gay men. Oh well...I am out of touch I suppose. So anyway that is why I think Charles is willing to put some energy into this new Men’s group. I’ve asked Kent Scadlock to be a co-director in this Men’s group so it will be the three of us responsible for getting it off the ground until it takes off and I am sure it will.  This is what I came up with for kind of a mission statement. “GAY MEN ALOUD Our generation was the first to bust the closet doors wide open only to, as we age, retreat into a closet of isolation.  Some senior Gay men are lonely for companionship and hungry for the Gay energy.  We are for you. What is Gay Men Aloud? GMA is a bimonthly meeting for bringing together Gay men to: make new friends, connect with old friends, discuss our concerns, listen to experts on financial, legal, and health issues and have fun. Gay Men Aloud” Is for bringing mature Gay Men together to share and celebrate our common experience, heritage, and journeys. for supporting those mature Gay men who wish to discuss, to share, and to associate with others of our own tribe. for helping Gay men maneuver through issues of being Gay elders  for nurturing, healing and educating our senior Gay selves by our peers Is a volunteer, self-sustaining group with funds raised going for meeting space and for refreshment.  Gay Men Aloud When: 1st and 3rd Wednesday of each month. The 1st Wednesday is a Circle Meeting - a facilitated general peer. The 3rd Wednesday is an Informational Forum Meeting  with guest presenters. Time: Spring to Fall at  7:00-8:00 pm. Fall to Spring at 6:00-7:00 pm Where: Central City Community Center, SLC, I got a letter from Kyle today dated the 2nd of July so I wrote him back.

·         Edgar Ben Williams I am hearing some blame Charles for Valerie Larabee resigning from the center which is a crock. If anything her terminating him when SAGE was the most successful program at the center was just the catalyst for long brewing discontent on how she ran the place and her disconnect from the community except for the cash machines she could tap into. Well it takes a lot of money grubbing to pay a $80,000 salary. How long has she been gone now and how many people have quit the board and the center and where is all this transparency that they touted. Have they even talked to the community about what they would like OUR community center to be? I bet whoever every they choose for a new executive director won't be making $80,000...and if they pick someone outside our community who does not know our peculiar dynamics... heaven help them. ...

·         Courtney Moser Petunia Pap Smear - So sorry to hear this news.•  

·         James Dabakis- This is sad.

·         Doug White- Charles is the "SAGE Vision"! •

·          RB Ric • This is NOT good news. Charles Lynn Frost has contributed so much to SAGE.

·         Babs De Lay- He is the Sage. If I were the PRIDE center I would do everything I could to beg him to return, pay him a great salary with benefits and crown him the Sagest of all. But then the PRIDE center hasn't been known for making great choices in the past few years. sign. I love you brother Charles! •

·         David Andreason- Well-said, Ben--thank you. Sometimes the fight is not worth the stress, especially when you find yourself knocking on cement doors. Charles and I have talked at length about these issues last night even, and I know he cares very much, but not at the expense of every other important thing in his life. Our community is not in a good space right now, but it will be. Charles is wise to step back, breathe, and regroup. He knows he is loved and I know he feels the same way about his community....• 

·         Kevin Scott- One identified problem is that Charles had become the lightening rod in the fight with the UPC - something blatantly unfair but nevertheless a perception that becomes a reality. Knowing his past concerns, his weariness of dealing with being the perception of the problem was getting old. Babs De Lay is right, but that's not going to happen.

·         Kevin Scott- Charles was only one of a number of vocal Valerie critics. I have no idea why they continually shaft their most successful program. I blame ageist issues to be honest. As far as hiring outside the community, they did that and see how that worked out. They have been talking to the community, which is a good thing, although they skipped June and like to post the meeting times (which have been Friday nights #$%#$!!!) and posted just days before the meetings. I continue to hold out hope that things will improve. •  

·         Erick Myers At the heart of political correctness is supposed to be respect for everyone. Yet, in the application of political correctness, anyone with a different point of view or who is not towing the line is marginalized, demonised and booted out of the group. They are the opposite of respected. Not a very inclusive way to do things, is it?

·         Dear Kyle, I got your letter dated July 2nd today and I thank you for it. I hope this letter will find you healthy and productive. I also hope you did something special for the 4th of July, if nothing else reflecting on freedom and precious it is. I doggy sat Alan Anderson and Kyle Daniels two dogs over the weekend.  So I had a house full and we stayed all safe and snuggled in bed to keep them from being too frightened by the battle zone going off in the neighborhood. Bombs bursting in air is right and the only thing red in the dawn were my eyes from lack of sleep. I have just been reading Evanovich’s Stephanie Plum bond enforcer series and watching Big Brother. It’s my guilty pleasure and it’s not summer without it. Yes they have to have the goofy effeminate Gay stereotype but that’s okay its entertainment. They have a bisexual in Vanessa and a trans for the first time Audrey. What a shit stirrer she is (and living up to that stereotype I might add LOL) They always get rid of the obnoxious California airhead Surfer Dudes first off don’t they. Did you see the episode with Kathy Griffin? I like Steve or Johnny Mac to win. Anyway expect the unexpected. How is it that Julie Chen has looked the same over the past 17 seasons? The horrible heat wave we had for over two weeks has finally subsided with the past couple of days in the 80’s and some thunder storms. I think the monsoon season is coming early. Too late for many of my flowers. They could not take the blistering heat. Even poor Daisy was climbing into the bath tub to lie on the cool porcelain to keep her belly cool.  I turned the hot tub down to 80 but the heat kept it up to about 99 anyways. I had my colonoscopy done today. The prep for it is brutal when you have diabetes and can’t have anything but clear liquids the day before and chugging down the solution that  cleans you out is the worse. Michael Romero took me down and picked me up because not supposed to drive afterwards because of the anesthesia they give you.  Had just one polyp removed to be biopsied but other than that I was good to go. They didn’t find any gerbils, ben-wa balls, light bulbs, or phallic vegetables  so I was happy. You wanted more details on the LDS Church donation to the Pride Center. It was not initiated by either Jim or the church. The board simply asked for a $2500 donation for their homeless youth program and the church complied. Heard that the church would have given more if they’d asked for more. The donation is not in cash but food from Welfare Square and is specifically targeted for the homeless youth pantry. Heard some comments that it was the churches donation to a Gay organization that caused Packer to drop dead. I don’t believe it. We all know it was Gay Marriage. Can’t you just picture him throwing his hands up in the air saying, “Take Me Home Oh Lord Take Me Home Now.” I finally convinced Charles Frost to sign on to my vision of a support group for Gay Men. I think he finally agreed because he resigned from SAGE. When he first told me he was resigning he asked me not to say anything on Facebook and then yesterday he called me and asked if I would post it on FB. He so passive aggressive, He wanted me to be the messenger of bad tidings so he will get all the outpouring of rage and sympathy.  Actually he quit because he is being attacked by the old dykes saying he’s the reason why Valeria Larabee was booted from her position at the Pride Center. Also I think he knows the Pride Center will not fund SAGE at the level they use to and SAGE board members don’t have the guts to break away from the Center.  I don’t have any more news to speak of. I hope I didn’t over whelm you with the four letters I sent you. In your letter you mentioned the concept of “abundance mentality.”  I know that Stephen R Covey coined the term and idea of having an abundance mentality in his 1989 self-help book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, which was all the rage among businessmen. If I remember correctly an abundance mentality is the ideal that you believe there are enough goods and successes in life to share with others. Everything is a win, win. On the flip side he said in a “scarcity mentality” people think in terms of winners and losers. If someone wins that means automatically you lose.   Charles was always telling me about having an “Abundance Mentality” because you know he worked for Franklin Quest Covey. I never quite understood what he meant being that I am an old hippy. I just know that karma means you try to do as much good in this world as you can and that material things are only illusions so don’t hang on to them. In the universe matter is only condensed energy and energy can never be destroyed. Your energy can never be destroyed. The energy we put into how we treat each other is the true measure of success. It’s the only thing that lasts. Maybe it’s just from being indoctrinated as a kid in the Church of Christ but I believe in the old hymns that so resonated with me like “Love Lifted Me”. Listening to my grandpa lead music thumping his foot as he sang in his Tennessee drawl, “Each day I’ll do a golden deed to help someone who is in need. My life on earth is but a span so I must do the best I can. Life’s evening sun is sinking low, a few more days and I must go to meet the deeds that I have done where there will be no setting sun.”  I haven’t heard my grandpa sing that song in over 35 years but I can still remember the life lesson. If being in prison, with all its trials and tribulations, has helped you be introspective maybe it’s a blessing. I know you will come out a better man than you went in. What do the Mormons teach about the refining fire? That it burns away the impurities to reveal what is gold? I believe your heart is golden and once this experience is over the rest of your life can be spent on gathering up the things that truly matter. Things that will heal your heart, bring joy to your soul, and that will exalts your spirit. You and I were given the gift of being Gay. I hope you will use that gift to be creative, to seek justice for the weak and to have an abundance of love in your life. You are going to have a second chance with your life when this is over. So many of my friends, younger than you, had their lives cut short and never had a second chance. Time is a gift. Don’t squander it on things of no consequence. Tell no more lies, ask for help, learn something new every day and share it. I love you so more than I can say.   I am, as I ever was, and shall ever be your friend Ben

 

9 July 2015 Thursday

 

10 July 2015 Friday

I went to the Central City Community Center to see what their schedule is and whether they could  accommodate us for a bi monthly meeting for Gay Men Aloud. Charles suggested that we start in September because people are more likely to be done with their summer trips and such. It would also give us more time to plan and get the word out. I would like to set up a meeting with Kent and Charles after the 24th to look at a calendar, throw out ideas for peer discussion topics and what kind of speakers do we want... or panels. Also if we are going to start in September then we should start with a fall schedule of 6:00 pm and in March change to 7:00 pm . I suppose we are

all good with the name Gay Men Aloud. I like it because it means we are still allowed to be ourselves and that we still have a voice no matter what our age is.

·         Charles Lynn I like the double meaning too. If we were to use ALLOWED, it would be taken as elitist and we'd get a lot of grief from others, but ALOUD gives off no such connotation.

·         Kent I'm good with the September start date and the time. Hopefully, the Center can accommodate our schedule. Let me know when you want to meet and "brainstorm" ideas. I have an open schedule. Like I said before, I love the name and agree with Charles's comment. Can't wait!!!

 

11 July 2015 Saturday

 

12 July 2015 Sunday

Me to Bill Poore. Do you want to go see Tab Hunter film  today? Charles, Doug, Alan Anderson, Kyle and I are going and  Alan has another free ticket... It’s at 5:30

·         Bill Thanks but will pass u guys should have fun  wear trench coats

 

13 July 2015 Monday

I asked Bill Poore if he wanted  to go for a ride to get out of the city tomorrow. He said sure so I am thinking about going to Morgan up Weber Canyon

·         Benedgar Update... Charles and I were visiting the other day about meeting spaces. He said he'd check out the Peoples Coffee and I'd check out St Mark’s Episcopal church. The people Coffee had already committed their room and I went to St Marks but I am unfamiliar with the church and couldn't find an open door or where their main office is... So I emailed them a request telling them about Gay Men Allowed and what they might charge for meeting space...I did go to the Central City Community Center and while the scheduling person wasn't in that day I did have some one show me the spaces available... The small one may work for a while but it's kind of sterile I thought but for $15 should keep it in mind... I also thought about asking Curtis Price pastor of 1st Baptist on 13th if they have space to accommodate our group...both St Marks and 1st Baptists are very Gay friendly... Kent we want to plan a meeting for the 3 of us to discuss the group and plan out 3 months’ worth of events... We were thinking if each of us picked a topic for a group discussion and then someone who could be a guest speakers then it should not be too burdensome on any one of us... What do you think and any ideas for a meeting space

·         Charles Lynn Ben--The St. Mark's entrance you are going to want to use is in the rear of the new addition. NOT the Cathedral. Park in the back (North side), and the NW most door is the one that leads you into the building. Go directly down that hallway and you will come to a semi-circular Information desk. They can guide you from there. If not then go through one of the doors through the outside patio to the East side because they have some administrative offices there as well. Is the group Gay Men Aloud or Allowed as you wrote in the previous part of this conversation? I think Aloud is best for the reasons I mentioned earlier, Our voices still being relevant, heard, contributing, making a positive difference, versus Allowed being perceived as elitist and excluding. We don't want or need that argument at the outset of this group. Raw Bean Coffee also has that great upstairs room, and they are very gay friendly. The Bear Group meets there, (I am not sure which night of the week/day of month), and the OWLS meet there on Sunday morning for the Thelma and Louise coffee clutch. If we ask about Wednesdays it may be open, and the owner is very open to LGBT customers. He knows they feed his business a lot. Just another suggestion. The room is nice, not completely private from downstairs, but we would not be overheard either, and the restrooms are upstairs as well.

 

14 July 2015 Tuesday

Bill Poore wasn’t feeling well today so we will try later in the week.

·         Bill Poore -The last three major post from the Pride Center have been about Transgender.....I will send them another message telling them they are now the Trans Center not the Pride Center.

·         Me- Lol you old transphobe... You can redeem yourself by sucking Danes cock lol wait that won't work! Lol

·         Bill Poore -Just remembered one place I lived in San Diego, was like one door away from what was called Hooker Alley, it was just down from University Ave, Hooker hung out in the Alley waiting for Johns to drive down and pick them up....most of them were Tran Hookers....

·         Me-That's how they paid for their drugs and operations

·         Bill Poore Most Hookers are pretty nice people, They just can’t get real jobs, you would be surprised how little of them actually use drugs.....they might drink some.  Now the hustler boys that hung out in Balboa Park they all used drugs, mostly meth....so cute , cheap as well, suck their dicks for 30 bucks, I mean we are talking 18-25 year olds.....hot firm body with big dicks.....if they had been using meth it was hard to get them off, they loved you to suck them forever but they could shoot their loads, so I would suck until my jaws got tired, then I would take them to a burger place and buy them lunch....a lot of them became part of my tribe, and got them into AA, NA or rehabs. Most of my young sponsees had hustled.  It kept interesting that is for sure.  I became like their mothers, really.  I made decisions for them, fed them, did medical things for them. laundry, police warrants, rehabs like Stepping Stones.  I put a lot of them into Stepping Stones. I would be lying on the sofa and one of them would come in and lay next to me and cuddle up...they needed mothering.  I would pet them , kiss them on the head...then of course feed them, they always wanted to shower, we kept the door open and they would walk around naked in and out of the shower. my roommate went crazy because he could not touch any of them....

·         Me Gone are the days

·         HI, My name is Kai Martinez the current director of the LGBT RC at University of Utah. I understand that you are the go-to person when it comes to Queer history in Utah, and the early days of LGSU at the University. The University of Utah Pride Committee this year would like to feature a display of in the Union of Utah's Queer history the first day of Pride Week October 5, 2015. If you are open to it, I would like to speak with you about accepting an invitation to be involved with this important display. I can be reach by email kmartinez@sa.utah.edu or phone 801-581-4861. I hope to hear from you. Thank you Kai

·         Benedgar Hi I will glad to help in any way I can ... My phone number is 801 505 3459 or benedgar51@yahoo.com... Michael Aaron always knows how to get a hold me too.., sorry for this late response... I forget to check the other box for messages sometimes...

 

15 July 2015 Wednesday

I heard from Charles Frost that the Pride Center finally selected a new executive director. How long has Ms Larabee been gone now? Could it be that fiduciary concerns was an issue? I am of course speculating because the center is as transparent as mud. I finished a column for Lambda Lore just under the deadline... It’s on the formation of Gay Liberation. I took a FB quiz of how much of a hippie am I. It said I was 89 percent hippie. I think I'd gotten higher score if I had long hair LOL...I was more of a fringe hippy from 1967-1972...89 percent LOL... I've tie dyed, batiked, made my own leather sandals and belts, been to love-ins, consciousness raising, made a peace sign out of a sand mold, protested the Viet Nam war in peace marches, wore leather head bands, took pottery making classes, read Kahlil Gibran, Jonathan Livingston seagull, the Naked Ape, and Man's Search for Meaning, and met Timothy Leary. I know the entire Soundtrack to Hair and the only thing I never did was Hippie drugs like LSD, peyote, mushrooms or pot. Although I knew John Griggs very well. He was the main distributor of California gold on the West Coast. I helped make the teepees they lived in up Laguna Beach Canyon LOL...He died at the end of July 1969 from an overdose of bad mushrooms and left behind a new born baby he had named Full Buck Moon. I was more interested I know now in the Faerie elements of hippiness not the patriarchal bull shit that most of it was. Griggs death and the Manson murders within a week of his death kind of soured the Flower Power image of Hippies for me. Peggy Bon an activist All in Ogden died today.  The US Equal Employment Opportunity Commission has ruled that existing civil rights law bars sexual orientation-based employment discrimination — a groundbreaking decision to advance legal protections for gay, lesbian, and bisexual workers. “[A]llegations of discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation necessarily state a claim of discrimination on the basis of sex,” the commission concluded.  The independent commission addressed the question of whether the ban on sex discrimination in Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964 bars anti-LGB discrimination in a complaint brought by a Florida-based air traffic control specialist against Transportation Sec. Anthony Foxx. The ruling — approved by a 3-2 vote of the five-person commission — applies to federal employees’ claims directly, but it also applies to the entire EEOC, which includes its offices across the nation that take and investigate claims of discrimination in private employment. While only the Supreme Court could issue a definitive ruling on the interpretation, EEOC decisions are given significant deference by federal courts.

·         Michael Aaron To say Peggy Bon was a firecracker is an understatement. She worked hard for everything she believed in. She delivered QSaltLake Magazines through Ogden and refused any attempts to pay her. She worked tirelessly at the Ogden Outreach Resource Centers, volunteered for campaigns and so much more. The world lost a warrior for love.

·         Weston Clark Of the too few people who stood by me and encouraged me when I stood up against the Davis School District over their banning of the book, In Our Mothers' House, Peggy Bon was there. What a huge loss to the world. Rest in peace. ·       

·         Charles Frost-You want a scoop you can post about to piss off UPC. They are supposedly announcing Marian Edmonds as their new ED either tomorrow of Friday. She proceeded  me at Outreach

·         Me-Well I hope she runs the UPC better than she did Outreach LOL ... Should keep the dykes happy to have another Lesbian running things...At least she knows Utah

·         Charles Frost - She left the place with no 990's filed for 2 years, no charitable solicitation permit, and told the board to hire 2 ED's myself and Rachel Peterson, when they had practically no funds, enough to barely pay 1 ED. OUTREACH let go of Rachel 2 weeks ago. All volunteer. Yes the lezzies love her. Those that know her. She is not that well known in SLC, Ogden/Weber yes, but not SLC. Just thought you might want to know. They have no funds, that's why they have taken so fucking long to hire a local. My God.

·         Me-Well that might be a plus for her then no baggage here

·         Frost-She doesn't have the vision or the fundraising experience to turn that place around. PLUS she gets old Beano Solomon to answer to.

·         Me-Well I bet there will be a new round of fund raising to pay salaries..

·         Frost- I'm sure. But the funds have dried up. That building has sucked everything this community is going to give them. Even the A+ group despise the place. Donna said, "burn the fucker down."

·         Me –lol Well turn it into a homeless shelter

·         Frost- Would be a better use of the space for sure.

 

16 July 2015 Thursday

I had a fun little day trip with Bill Poore to get out of the city. We went up Weber Canyon to Morgan. Drove around the town looking at old buildings then went up a canyon road and saw a lot of farm land. Everyone is haying. Then we went up a back road to see The Three Witches formation and Bill pointed out the Cafe were Stephen King's The Stand was filmed. Drove around Echo Reservoir. It didn't look low and then into Coalville. Bill said we had to eat at the Polar King hamburger joint. Since he was buying I didn't care and it was good. Lots of locals and eye candy for Bill. Drove around the town. Lots of people had goats. I love goats. They were so cute. I want one. We took Legacy HWY home but stopped at Bountiful Lake to look around and see how the fishing was. A little summer adventure. — with Bill Poore. John Schild, another long time community member has passed away. I've known John since 1987. He will be missed. Troy Williams is going to honor Connell O’Donovan for his activism at the Equality Utah Banquet fundraiser. James Dabakis is the only one on Capitol Hill that seems to give a damn about the health of low income people. I guess if you aren't a big donor to Gary Herberts campaign war chest or a developer you have no intrinsic value to Republicans. Talk about your "death panels"...those GOP sociopaths who pretend to be public servants are holding up Medicaid Expansion because they hate President Obama more than they care about low income Utahns. I am sorry but I have no use for people who vote Republican...their moral compass is really screwed up. "Not everyone that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven." I always was taught the will of God was to love one another and treat people as you would be treated. The Utah Pride Center on Marian Edmonds a former pastor and longtime gay and transgender community advocate as its new executive director. Kent Frogley said it was a unanimous choice. She will start August 3. We already know that her focus will be on youth and Trannies as she has a adopted daughter that is transitioning..

·         Me to Charles Frost-Connell O'Donovan really? Gone for 20 years now is getting an award? LOL Well good for him but really?

·         Charles Frost- Well how special. Every decision made at Equality Utah at this point is driven by political power and Troy having his way. Connell and Troy are close, so I am sure that has something to do with this. SPA is also getting an award, and Mindy B. Young is on the theatre faculty there, also a long-time friend of Troy's. She and I are close as well. Kathryn Bond Stockton has always been an idol of Troy's. All about Troy, all for Troy. Connell may be a slap in your face as well, I wouldn't put it past Troy and that EU Board. Every fucking board in this city is fucked up. Marian Edmonds Allen today, I am just waiting for the shit show to begin. Just a matter of time, just a matter of time. Like you, I am getting to the complete I DONT GIVE A SHIT mindset. The queers are fucked as well, especially where everyone is going to be focusing for the next few years. I am glad I am over and done with it all.

·         Me- I don’t see this as a slap in my face. Troy doesn’t know of any history between Rocky and me. I just think it was an interesting choice.

·          Jon J. Schild was born on November 16, 1944 and died July 16, 2015 from cancer. He graduated from Pocatello High School in 1962 and served an LDS mission to the New England states. Jon earned his bachelor’s degree from Idaho State University in 1969 and his master’s degree was from UC Santa Barbara in 1975. Jon lived a life of service. He was a ward and church organist for over 50 years of his life. Jon was an Air Force Veteran. He also served with the Big Brother’s organization for several years earning an award from Governor Bangerter in 1986 for outstanding community service. He volunteered with a half-way house program to help people rebuild their lives after incarceration. Jon loved the arts and acted in countless plays over the years. He sang in the Salt Lake Men’s Choir and then in the Utah Opera Chorus for over 20 years where he performed in many operas. Jon was preceded in death by his parents Jacob and Sylvia Schild of Pocatello, Idaho and by his loyal cat Queen Vashti. He is survived by his children Lorelei Archibald, Victoria Winsett, Jeremy Schild, Benjamin Schild, and Matthew Schild, by 13 grandchildren, and several dear friends. He continues to serve the community by having donated his body for medical research. Jon’s memorial service will be held at Sacred Light of Christ Church 823 S. 600 E. in Salt Lake City on July 26th at 7:00 PM.

 

17 July 2015 Friday

Evidently the Pride Center Town Meeting was scheduled and placed on the Pride Center's web page but only as an obscure event on their calendar page. To know what events are happening prior to the day it is happening, one has to click on "Events" then if you are a sleuth you can find the information on the monthly calendar page which is chock full of repetitive events. If your eyes don't glaze over you eventually will notice that a Town Meeting is scheduled for the 17th. However there are several other groups going on that day that seem to be over lapping each other... but if you click on Town Meeting it will reveal a meeting from 6 pm to 7:30 pm in the Rainbow Room. Beneath that is a map you can click on but that pulls up the Utah Valley University campus. Well that's special but I hardly think accurate. If you click on "details" you will find no description of what the Town Meeting is or what it is for... It seems to me that if the Center truly wanted people to attend they would want to be more proactive at getting the word out rather than just saying obtusely saying a meeting had been scheduled. Their enthusiasm for this program is rather under whelming. I think the word could have gotten out more effectively on their FB page as that more than 18,000 people clicked like. Now that we are in day 2 of Jade Helm operation destroy Texas...I haven't heard much coming from my relatives...I'm so glad many of my Texas kinfolk have tornado cellars to hide in so as not to be herded into all them empty Walmart. I wonder if the reason why we haven't heard much from Governor Abbott is that he is hunkered down in his bunker beneath the state Capitol with Texas National Guard. Has anyone heard from Texans? I fear they are all dead as King Hussein Obama is personally snatching their guns out of their cold dead hands. Oh the horror! The horror! And watch out Utah we are next! I need to make a run to the store because I am all out of aluminum foil.  It was a beautiful summer evening to do some work in the front yard. There even was a cooling breeze. I worked all evening on the corner mound that Richard Butler made for me so many years ago. I cleaned out all the undergrowth, weeded, moved rocks, dug up a bush that had seen better days, trimmed back the overgrown forsythia and water it all. So much cleaner looking and easier to keep up. You have to work your ass off to make this desert bloom as a rose. I remember my California youth where you stuck something in the ground and it just grew. My English herb garden in my front yard is so pretty and I love sitting on the grass weeding that space because it’s so fragrant. Yesterday I saw a squirrel jumping around from tree to tree in my back yard. Boy did that piss Lucky off. I need to put some peanuts out for him. So after my hard work was done I soaked in the hot tub. Blessed mother of mercy it felt really good. Heaven is a freshly made bed with clean sheets to crawl beneath.... Sweet dreams

 

18 July 2015 Saturday

Another wonderful evening for yard work. middle of July so many things get over grown and weedy and then there's all that dried up leaves and crap from that heat wave we had. I've filled up a Trash can and my yard rubbish container. I then hand watered the garden and flowers until the sun went down and it was twilight at 9:30... I told all the spiders leave me alone and I'll leave you alone. My Armenian Ward Levon is so excited he bought himself a car... That's the American Dream. I watch a great documentary on YouTube called How we Got Gay from the Discovery Channel. It was a great way to understand how we got to where we are today and how important it is to not let younger Gay folks forget forget that without the AIDS Crisis there would be no Gay Marriage today. What is going on in South Carolina and elsewhere disgusts me. I am of Southern heritage since the day John Williams got off the boat in 1666 at Surry County, Virginia as an indentured servant... He served his time and became a huge land owner but hard work cut his life short and died in his 40's. His posterity is spread out over the entire South over the next 200 years. He never owned slaves but many of his children, grandchildren, great grandchildren and great great grandchildren did... Some of these folks were also slaves held by their own relatives...some of his posterity were descendants also of the Tuscarora Indian Nation of North Carolina. I was born a fifth generation Texan and grew up in Southern California. I understand heritage. I also understand hate and prejudice... The Southern economy before the Civil War was the 4th largest in the world but only a small group of wealthy aristocrats were benefiting from it. They convinced the rest of those in the South that Northern people were trying to dominate the south and people went along. The South did not vote for secession. A handful of slavers in state legislatures did. It then was framed in terms of Independence when in all actuality the wealthy elite were worried about losing billions in personal property...slaves... My family fought in the war.. They had too. They were drafted or had peer pressure to enlist. 3 of my grandfathers from that time died in the Civil War and many more uncles were killed. The death rate was horrendous and after the war the only way to make sense of the waste was to turn their deaths into almost martyrs of a noble cause...states’ rights. Today most people still attached to the Confederate Battle Flag of Tennessee have no idea what the Civil War was about. The flag stands only for segregation, white supremacy, and states’ rights. The Confederacy is no more MY Heritage than National Socialism is the Heritage of Germany. My direct ancestor Britton Williams was killed in the Revolutionary War for this country the United States and the Stars and Stripes not the Stars and Bars... I don't believe all Confederate monuments need to removed but rather should be interpreted correctly that the leaders of that failed nation state were traitors whose ideology of racism caused the deaths of hundreds of thousands of American men.

 

19 July 2015 Sunday

I left this morning about 10:30 to get on the road to go see Kyle Foote in Gunnison. It was a beautiful day and the trip was without incident. When I left I picked up a form to renew my visitation privileges. My latest favorite show... Ian McKellen and Derek Jacobi in Vicious ...

 

20 July 2015 Monday

Busy day this morning. I went up the First Baptist Church to as Curtis Price if they had space we could rent for Gay Men Aloud. I told him it would be a group for senior Gay men as that SAGE is going through changes. He said certainly and that we could meet for free. I just had to schedule it was Dennis McCracken. I told him that I had been seeing Kyle and he warned me about his manipulations and I said I feel that prison had changed him. He wanted his address and said he might write him after I told him that I am the only one who goes sees him. Then I went and picked up Chuck and I took him to lunch at Chuck A Rama while I killed time before meeting with Lavon at 3:30. I wanted to visit and see his new car. So since he wasn’t answering I went over to Charles because he wanted me to call him but since I was in town I just dropped by, He was really depressed because he feels that he’s been really betrayed by Jerry Buie who has thrown him under the bus. From what Charles says Jerry has been bad mouthing Charles to the Pride Center about SAGE. Jerry wants to have his Pride Counseling be the place where they will send mental health clients and in turn Jerry will give the center a stipend for the referrals. Pride is not going to let go of SAGE even though there are only 6 board members left since all the Lesbians have left. I guess there was a blow up when Charles resigned and there were harsh words said among all the board members. We live in the Great Basin Desert at the foot of the Wasatch Mountains where six inches of rain our average is. Next to New Mexico we are statistically the 2nd driest state...so even a little bit of rain like we had this morning we write about as if a hurricane had hit Florida. Lol Love the cool damp smell of a summer shower and I know my poor flowers and tomatoes love it too. We don't have restrictions here but I try to hand water as much as I can. I love sprinklers but I can conserve more if I just hand water plus I get to be outside and enjoy the flora and fauna. So much revisionist history about Stonewall it infuriates me. I am also so offended by Free Pride, an alternative Pride in Scotland who refuse to let Drag Queens performed because some Trannies are offended by them. “At Free Pride we hope to create a safe space for all people within the LGBTQIA+ community. We understand that sometimes this will disappoint some people within the community, however our priority is always to put the needs of the most marginalized groups within our community first. This is why, after much discussion, the trans and non-binary caucus decided not to have drag acts perform at the event. This does not mean that people of any gender can’t wear what they want to the event, we simply won’t be having any self-described drag acts perform at our Free Pride Event on the 22nd August. We hope people can understand and support our decision. However we feel it important to fully explain why we came to this decision. The decision was taken by transgender individuals who were uncomfortable with having drag performances at the event. It was felt that it would make some of those who were transgender or questioning their gender uncomfortable. It was felt by the group within the Trans/Non Binary Caucus that some drag performance, particularly cis drag, hinges on the social view of gender and making it into a joke, however transgender individuals do not feel as though their gender identity is a joke.”  Who's is being "marginalized" now? If I was in Scotland I'd organize a boycott of that UNPRIDE event... Have these idiots not heard of the Imperial Court System that was founded in 1965? Especially how the Trans have turned the uprising all about them. It’s becoming almost a mantra that the Trans started Stonewall because Sylvia Rivera  and Marsha Johnson were there. Two Trans a riot does not make and neither was the event caused by the preppies and tie wearing patrons at Julius just around the corner from Stonewall.  It was drag queens, gender queers, and leftist radical Gay Street people who started the riots on Christopher Street..... It was the drag community here in Salt Lake City who were the first and only ones raising money for those in our community dying of AIDS... If it weren't for the Gay activist movement organized to fight the government over issues of AIDS there would be NO movement to organize for Gay Marriage... God Bless and Save the Nelly Queens

·         Benedgar regarding Gay Men Aloud I met with Curtis Price the Pastor of the 1st Baptists on 13th East and 8th South today and he said we could use the church rooms for free. I told him that whatever money we could collect we could donate to the church. He said i need to contact Dennis McCracken who schedules the church's calendar... at the end of this.. is what I wrote to him... I will report back as soon as I hear anything... Charles talked about a person in West Valley who may be a good fit to join us as co-directors ... I forgot his name... Let’s come up with a time next week to have an organizational meeting... The 30th is a Blue Moon a perfect day for organizing... maybe we could all hot tub and brain storm...."

·         Benedgar to Curtis Price It was good to visit with you this afternoon. I sent a FB message to Dennis about the gay men's group for mature and seniors. I really appreciate all that you do. I appreciated your comments about Kyle... I hope the therapy he's getting, and medication, and the time to reflect on how he hurt so many people financially and emotionally will help him be a changed person... Not a lot of people know I go see him...I have my own personal understanding about how Christ wants me to live my life and that is to comfort  the broken hearted and liberate the captives. My bible taught me when young to visit those who are prison and Kyle is the only one I know who was sent to prison... He's had one or two letters from Jaime [his sister] but no one else. No one visits him but me... They keep records and once a guard told me that I was the only one who ever applied to see him. The prison said the thing that helps rehabilitate inmates a lot is the amount of visitations they receive. I don't blame anyone for not visiting him but Kyle, as anyone does, needs to know that he is loved... If not trusted. Well this is long winded... If you care to write him I know it would mean a lot... Warren Kyle Foote inmate # 187422 Central Utah Correctional Faculty PO Box 550 Gunnison, Utah 84634-0550

·         Curtis You are a good and gracious man. I'm ashamed that I didn't keep track of Kyle and reach out in some way. I am surprised that Jamie didn't keep closer track. I am glad that you are there for him. He is a lucky guy. I will get a letter off to him. It was good to chat. Drop by anytime.

·         Hi Dennis, This is Ben Williams. I met with Curtis today about having a space to meet at the church for an older Gay Men's group that Charles Frost, Kent Scadlock, and I want to start. The demographics for this group is mature or senior Gay men as we feel there is need for a social, support, and informative group for men in this age range who often feel isolated from the community. Also since there have been a couple of  older Gay men who have died alone in their home we would like this group also to be an outreach for people who have no family support. We are looking to be a bi-monthly meeting with the first meeting being a group discussion/social circle and the second meeting to be a forum with guest speakers ranging from county health to history to financial to spirituality. We have no idea yet how many people might be interested in coming but we are thinking 20 to 30 men maybe more with a speaker of interest. We are not tied to any specific night but ideally a Wednesday evening  but any Monday through Thursday evenings would do. We would prefer the same day, however, for both monthly meetings to be consistent. We are looking at a 6 pm slot from September through March as a lot of older people do not like to drive at night and switch to 7 pm April through August. The name of the organization is Gay Men Aloud with the main purpose to deal with issue Germain to Gay men of our generation. The set up would involve a room where we could set up chairs in a circle and at the next meeting in rows to listen to a speaker. It’s an open group in that any person who identifies with being a Gay man ... middle age and up can attend. We don’t plan on having memberships but will pass a hat or basket and donate to the church whatever is raised.  Think about it if you will and I hope you can find a space to accommodate us... I feel the American Baptists are well known and respected in the Gay community and the space  will seem as welcoming and non-threatening to any new comer. We are very excited about the potential of this group Gay Men Aloud to be positive and affirming to many men who need an opportunity to be with other Gay men that is non-alcoholic, non-hooking up, and nonnonjudgmental.   Appreciate all you do... if you need to talk or text my number is 505 3459. We want to begin in September either the 1st and 3rd or the 2nd and 4th of each months... Thanks ...PS you can certainly talk to Charles about this if you need to.

·         Hi Dennis, This is Ben Williams. I met with Curtis today about having a space to meet at the church for an older Gay Men's group that Charles Frost, Kent Scadlock, and I want to start. The demographics for this group is mature or senior Gay men as we feel there is need for a social, support, and informative group for men in this age range who often feel isolated from the community. Also since there have been a couple of older Gay men who have died alone in their home we would like this group also to be an outreach for people who have no family support. We are looking to be a bi-monthly meeting with the first meeting being a group discussion/social circle and the second meeting to be a forum with guest speakers ranging from county health to history to financial to spirituality. We have no idea yet how many people might be interested in coming but we are thinking 20 to 30 men maybe more with a speaker of interest. We are not tied to any specific night but ideally a Wednesday evening but any Monday through Thursday evenings would do. We would prefer the same day, however, for both monthly meetings to be consistent. We are looking at a 6 pm slot from September through March as a lot of older people do not like to drive at night and switch to 7 pm April through August. The name of the organization is Gay Men Aloud with the main purpose to deal with issue germane to Gay men of our generation. The set up would involve a room where we could set up chairs in a circle and at the next meeting in rows to listen to a speaker. It’s an open group in that any person who identifies with being a Gay man ... middle age and up can attend. We don’t plan on having memberships but will pass a hat or basket and donate to the church whatever is raised. Think about it if you will and I hope you can find a space to accommodate us... I feel the American Baptists are well known and respected in the Gay community and the space will seem as welcoming and non-threatening to any new comer. We are very excited about the potential of this group Gay Men Aloud to be positive and affirming to many men who need an opportunity to be with other Gay men that is non-alcoholic, non-hooking up, and nonnonjudgmental. Appreciate all you do... if you need to talk or text my number is 505 3459. We want to begin in September either the 1st and 3rd or the 2nd and 4th of each months... Thanks ...PS you can certainly talk to Charles or Kent about this if you need to also

 

21 July 2015 Tuesday

This must be the summer of going to the dentist... Sunday a molar was sore thought it might just be my gum since hadn't floss there for a while but has gotten steadily worse until anything I drink even sends a jolt of pain... I think Dr Gomez is going to think I am stalking him... Well he is cute but my tooth really really does hurt... Ow Ow Ow. My right back molar was still really achy and thought I might be able to tough it out but this morning I finally called Centerville and asked if I could be seen and they said to come down at 11 a.m. So Back in the dentist chair... I've had more dental work this summer than I've had in 10 years...I am exhausted after 3 hours at the dentist today. Dr. Gomez had to pop an old crown. A lot of bacteria had gone beneath making my gums infected and sore. He had to drill and clean all that up but they made the crown on the property instead of sending it out to a lab so I didn't have to have a temporary put in but my mouth is still sore and I can't chew until tomorrow. I've always been proud that I had good teeth but I guess they are wearing out. Maybe evolution didn't intend to be using them this long. I have to rinse with an anti-biotic mouth wash to start healing the gums up. Glad I still have some pain pills left from the extraction I had last May. I think bed and a movie is sounding good about now. I will bitch slap the next person in this LBT community who call Gay men privileged...We lost what male privilege there might have been when we came out as Gay... Most of us lived lives close to poverty or worked shit jobs...That is why I am a feminist ... Oh Yes It was such a privilege to watch a half a million Gay young men die with few from my generation prepared for a future because we didn't think we'd have one...

·         Benedgar regarding Gay Men Aloud Dennis [MacCracken] contacted me this morning... We can have the hall on Mondays the 2nd and 4th week of each month... Actually I've done Monday's before and they are a nice way to begin a new week and catch up with friends what you did over the weekend... So we are in business... First Baptist Church 13th east 800 South Cultural Hall 2nd and 4th Monday of each month.... Now we could do 1st and 3rd Monday but in Sept the 1st Monday is Labor Day... If we do that then we would just have one meeting that month... Which is fine with me because that could be a get together information group to tell who we are and what the group is about

·         Kent Hi Ben. Thanks for doing all the leg work! I'm good with either time but sounds like the 1st & 3rd might work best.

·         Benedgar Okay I was thinking that too since the first of the month is usually easier to remember

·         Charles Lynn Thanks. I agree with both of you. let's schedule this post 24th brainstorming and organizing meeting ASAP, so we can get it on our calendars and get ready for it. Thank you.

·         Benedgar I will call Dennis tomorrow and say we want the 1st and 3rd Then... I am kind of excited about this...Charles do you want to call your friend and invite him to a planning meeting if he is interested? Btw I made both of you admins on the Gay Men Aloud group page... Maybe we can come up with a better picture and logo

·         Charles Lynn 1st and 3rd are best, because Gay Writes goes 2nd and 4th Mondays. There are several in that group who may wish to join our group. I think once this goes up and word gets out, there are going to be a lot of Gay men who want to belong. Not just mature, maybe some 40's, 50 somethings.

·         Benedgar Well who better to learn what they will be going through than us pioneers? You know it goes fast after the glory days of youth fades

 

22 July 2015 Wednesday

The rain we had this afternoon was wonderful a good downpour. Bill Poore came over to visit some. I can't feed him anymore because he's on a no carb regiment so I sent him home with yellow squash instead of banana nut bread. My laptop decided to stop allowing my external hard drive or my printer to plug in any more... It won't show the drives when the cable is plug. David Sharpton has been dead now 23 years. Does not seem possible. David Sharpton blew into Salt Lake City in 1987 like a Texas Tornado, two years after his AIDS diagnosis at the age of 25. A convert to the Mormon Church in his early teens, he was later excommunicated when he revealed his homosexuality. He was on a Mission to educate Utah Mormons about the AIDS epidemic of which health department was reluctant to talk about and Gay Utahns pretended they were safe behind the Zion Curtain. He was loud, brash, a bully, and my friend. While in Utah he co-founded the People With AIDS Coalition of Utah and put a public face on AIDS. Dr. Kristen Ries kept him alive longer than anyone could have back then.

 

23 July 2015 Thursday

I am feeling lazy today for some reason. Didn't feel like I've done much at all and its 2:30. This morning I hoed the damp ground and weeded, then went to the store for chicken gizzards for the pups supper tonight, came home and cut up a pork roast and threw it in the crock pot to make chili verde stew, made a lemon blueberry pound cake, I had to use up these blueberries before they go bad, and then took a nap. Not counting carbs today so made me a lemon blueberry pound cake... They call it a pound cake because each slice adds a pound to your weight... I don't care ... If you don't love me fat you ain't gonna love me skinny... Mmmmm aunt Beulah’s lemon pound cake ... Southerners should stop being racists and do what we do best... Cook and make love ... When they say the South Shall Rise again ...hot buttered corn bread and hot buttered men should come to mind not the Confederate flag. I need to get up and do something before the day is shot...at last do a load of dishes and some laundry...This evening Baby girl Daisy is hiding in the bathtub from all the pre 24th fireworks... The rest of America's dogs only have to endure fireworks on the 4th but we in Utah celebrate Mormon Independence Day on the 24th ergo asshole will shoot them off all month...her brother Buddy is lying next to the tub to keep her safe... Lucky goes out and barks at the noise... Well that's how Mormon celebrate Pioneer Day while we Jack Mormons and Gentiles celebrate Pie and Beer Day. Once I get this gum infection over with I think I will be over the soreness... The sharp pain is that made my eye tear up so grateful for that. My dentist is wonderful and said I was one of his best client. I said I never misbehave towards the man with the needles and drill... but why do they ask you questions when they have two hands and a water hose in your mouth?

·         Charles Frost Please help me understand what you are doing with Gay Men Aloud. All of a sudden there are all these members, and some have been there over a year?? Did you change an older group name to Gay Men Aloud? I didn't know we were inviting people. Please help me understand.

·         Me- Before we started Great Basin Bad Boys I created a page called Stonewall Community Forum.... To discuss community issues...it never took off...then after I was being kicked off Great Basin Bad Boys from someone (Jepson) complaints to FB about me I stated a group called Gay Men Aloud to discuss issues without all the nudity... I saw a group called Men Aloud that was the name of a Choral group. Since my Salt and Sage page had not taken off either after the Matt Uhl melt down and Connell O'Donovan lack of commitment to anything that he was not a star of some faeries who liked the heart circle transferred over to the Group Gay Men Aloud. However since I seemed to be the only one posting I kind of let it goes especially since it was under my old page Benedgar log in instead of Edgar Ben which I had to create after the shenanigans on GBBB got me almost blacklisted from FB.  I always wanted GBBB to be more than a cyberspace site but no one seemed interested in getting to know anyone off site and in the real world... So when you, Kent and I decided to create a group for older Gay Men and trying to find a name (remember maven? Lol) you threw out Gay Men Aloud (great minds think alike or we have been hanging around each other way too much lol) and the reason I liked it so much and grabbed it was because already had a page up that I just had to dust off...I made you and Kent Administrator so you can change anything you like or add people you want to get a word out... I see that Michael did not place an ad for the group I sent him...probably forgot... But see if I can or you or Kent get an ad layout for the Sept issue... So does this all make sense now? How come you didn't tell me you were getting a puppy? That is great ... I knew you talked about it a couple of weeks ago... Have you gotten a name picked out yet? BTW John Bonner looks like a senior but is he? LOL

·         Frost - Not old but is a LCSW that works with many older men. I think having him there would be a good addition, especially when it comes to loneliness and isolation, etc. He works a lot with those issues. Some find Loki A Bear a bit freaky, what do you think of those perceptions. I think by asking those who know other mature men, they will reach out to them and increase and enhance the group.

·         Me-True ... Loki just does his own kind of drag... LOL he doesn’t wear that all the times. Besides if people start judging others by appearances they don't belong in this group... May they can start a Piss Elegant group  LOL...I know people think I am a bit freaky. \

·         Frost -Well let's let it grow organically and see how it goes and grows. If a man gets to be too much, we can kindly ask them to tone it all down, and if they don't then we can politely ask them to discontinue attending or take a break.

·         Me- exactly ... the thing I would hate to see happen if people not making people feel welcome for superficial reasons... being disruptive, argumentative, sexually harassing or extreme rudeness are the only reasons I can see for asking people to comply with the purpose of the group or find another group..

·         Frost I totally agree.

 

24 July 2015 Friday

Salt Lake City is my adopted home of 30 years... I moved to Utah when I was still 21 years old in January 1973 not knowing a soul. Moved to SLC in the fall of 1976 and lived there not quite a year. Came back to the city in 1978 but for a few months. Came back to SLC in 1979 for about a year. It became my permanent home in August of 1985 when I left California for good. The mountains drew me back and here I stayed. It’s a state holiday today Pioneer Day or Pie And Beer Day which ever you prefer but I didn’t go out and  do anything but work on files on my computer. I did get the science text book today that Kyle asked me to order for him so he can finish his Biology class. Wow ... Well as my Mormon neighbors are getting hard ons over how loud and many explosions they can set off, I took a ladder and climbed one of my 20 foot front yard trees and started sawing off limbs, the trees not mine. I sawed off all the old dead branches without fallen out of the tree. Pretty good for a 64 year old sissy man. Wasn't as hard as cleaning the dead undergrowth of my yucca plant that hadn't been trimmed in 15 years. I hauled all to the curb for city clean up. It's been a great summer for cleaning up and trimming. Not to hot and cool in the evening. I posted the song Utah Gateway to Nevada by A Plague of Locust who were performing on 600 East between3rd and 4th South on a snowy day in 1985. They were performing in front of the monument to the only tree in the valley when the pioneers came in 1847... The irony is the plaque says the Mormons cut it down lol. The building on the right is the old Juel Apartment.  I lived there from 1986 through 1989... It's torn down now but when I lived there it was like a Gay dormitory and nearly everyone who was anyone back then came to visit me in my little basement apartment where we helped to create and organize the Gay community. Those were some of the best times in my life and I was dirt poor.

 

25 July 2015 Saturday

I've got Corky the Corker and his sweet sister Bonnie today as their daddies head off to Wendover. I think they think they are on vacation and Corky struts in and says, "Where's the Grub? and my boy toy Lucky”. So Alan Anderson and Kyle brought Corky and Bahni [Bonnie] over this morning about 8 for me to babysit. They are going out to Wendover for the day and I’m not planning much today. I did go with Charles Frost out to the Murray Farmer’s market because this is their opening day. Was surprised how little was there compared to years before but then again it is opening day. I went out there to get apricots but nobody had any. There were some peaches which usually come in after peaches. I wanted to make some Apricot preserves and syrup for the winter Oh Well. Charles showed me the flier he made up for Gay Men Aloud but wanted me to do some bullet points to quickly summarize what the group is going to be about. Charles sometimes like to gossip to stir things up. I gossip to inform people what is happening but Charles likes to set people against people. For example he tries to get me upset with Bill Poore by saying Bill said something about me which later I hear from Bill he has never said. Today he was running Bill down and I just let it go. It’s like he’s trying to bait me. On the way home I guess someone from Becker’s campaign called and Charles went on and on about how he and Becker were friends and how he left a message for him that he would rally the “LGBT” community for him but Becker never responded back. He said how disappointed he was that Becker treated him, someone influential in the community and now it’s a little too late. I thought he was all in Biskupski’s camp because at the last SAGE pot luck he was all over her hugging her and comforting her. So I thought hmmm…he’s playing both of them. Later in the evening he called me to tell me that Gay Men Aloud was already getting some buzz with the board of the Pride Center and what’s left of sage. I said what does it matter?” They have no say or control over what we do. Drama Drama Drama. I bought a few groceries and mainly fruit.  When it was cooler I went and cut the limbs off the dead tree on the parking strip on the south side of the house. Poor tree I didn’t know how it lasted as long as it did. When we first moved in the cable company back into it and damaged the bark which I know caused it to get infected with bugs. Then last year or so a city tree trimming outfit came out and chopped the top of the tree off and I think that is what killed it. I noticed this spring that it never leafed out. The city clean up must be happening soon although I never got a notice because everyone is putting refuse out on the curb. I couldn’t get the trunk cut down until I get the chain saw working. Ive spent the last couple of days trying to clean up my documents on my computer because I can’t get my external drive to plug into this lap top to save as a backup. Just another probable to solve. Alan and Kyle picked up their pups about 7:30 and I was really tired tonight so went to bed about 10 pm. I sent the following to Charles to put in the flyer.

•        Celebrating our tribe of liberated Gay men

•        Sharing the wisdom gained through adversity

•        Valuing the transition of becoming a Gay elder

•        Building bonds of friendship and a sense of community

•        Enjoying the energy of the company of Gay men

 

26 July 2015 Sunday

Hell has no fury like Drag Queens scorned... Good for them and good for Free Pride not letting a few uptight individuals dictate policy for the entire LGBT community. UPDATE: Drag performers are now welcome at Free Pride of Scotland.

 

27 July 2015 Monday

I accomplished a couple of things today. I went up to 1st Baptists and met with Dennis McCracken and signed the church agreement and picked up a key. We signed up for the 1st and 3rd Mondays at 6:30 to 8:00. Charles called me this morning about the flyer he was making to “market” the group. Sometimes I think he isn’t attentively listening to me or he is just absent minded about things we discussed. He acted all flustered about the meeting times and tried to make it seem like I was the one confused and I had to get a little stern with him so he would listen. But after all was said and done we came up with a better time anyways. Instead of 6 pm which he was concerned that two of his friends said it would be tough for them and I said out of 110 people I hardly think we need to rethink meeting times. He even wanted to change the day and I had to remind him when he said he was going to send Jerry Buie some misinformation and I told him not to that we aren’t going to be that kind of group. I said it does not matter what the Pride Center thinks. It does not matter what Jerry Buie thinks. We are not starting off this group as being negative against any one or thing. It was really petty. But I know he feels really betrayed by Jerry. Anyway after getting the key I came and addressed the biology science book I bought for Kyle and mailed it off today. I sent it at book rate and the postal worker said it would be slow getting there and I said its okay because it won’t be any slower than my first class letters that take a week to get to me. It looked like a storm was coming in this morning with blustery winds and a darken sky but it never did. I drove by the homeless shelter again today on the way home and there’s the same little golden retriever mix, an older dog just sitting in the grass. My heart went out to him hoping that he is being fed and watered and loved. The meridian strip on 5th West between 4th and 2nd South looks like a tent and card board city. I had never seen it look like that before. It’s a sad situation. 

 

28 July 2015

Dear Kyle, Hope you are well. July is quickly coming to an end and it’s been a fairly mild one so grateful for that. I wanted you to know I mailed out your science text book yesterday. I sent it by book rate and the postal lady said that it will take some time to get there. She said maybe Friday. I laughed because I said that was faster than the letters I get from you first class. So anyway your principal should have it at least by the beginning of August.  After I last saw you, I had another dental emergency. I think I had more work on my teeth this summer than I ever had. A right side molar had bacteria growing beneath my crown causing my gums to become infected. So I went back down to my dentist who squeezed me in but said he had to pop the old crown to clean out all the infection and replace a new crown over it. So that was $350 out of my pocket. However it’s better to get all this done now while I have insurance because once I go on Medicare next April I will lose dental. Medicare doesn’t pay for dental. My gum is still tender a week later and Ive been rinsing with this anti-bacterial mouth wash… Oh well Gay men are being tossed off buildings to their deaths by ISIS so I should not complain.  Another expense I have this month is I have to register the cruiser. I always wait to the last on that but with inspection and all that will be about $175.  The days leading up to Pioneer Day or as everyone seems to be calling it these days Pie and Beer Day was like a battle zone here. The louder the explosion the more hard ons I think the guys in the neighborhood were getting. The 24th is always louder and bigger than the fireworks set off on the 4th of July which seems to me rather unpatriotic to me when you think about it. Why should Mormons invading the Great Basin be more celebrated than the birth of the nation? On the 26th went to the memorial service at the Sacred Light of Christ Church over on 600 East of a friend I had known since 1988. I hadn't been in that church for ages, not since I was a few years older than you are now. It brought back a lot of memories of old friends and times gone by. I can still see skinny as a rail Bruce Barton when he was pastor there waving his hanky like a good Pentecostal would even though it was MCC church. I saw a few of the old crowd from the 1980's there, like John Cooper who was the director of Affirmation way back when. I first met Jon Schild when he divorced and came to Unconditional Support,  the group I had started back in 1987. It helped him transition into the Gay community from being a married man with 5 kids. All his kids and grandkids were at the service held in that Gay church he attended. Times have changed. Didn’t even knew he had a family back then because none of us had families, just the ones we created with our Gay friends. He touched a lot of people's lives and it was good to say good bye. As sad as it may be to say good bye to old friends it's much easier knowing they lived out the full measure of their lives than watching my friends of 25 years ago all die in their 20s and 30s cut down before they had much time to live out their full potential. Unless you experienced it you just can't imagine how emotionally traumatizing it was to say goodbye to dear friends way too early, one after another after another... So many of friends I never got to see them grow old. AIDs was the invisible intruder in all our lives back then. His Specter followed us everywhere. We could not make him leave or leave us alone... I have no idea how I escaped his embrace. But I feel I have to be a record keeper so that future generations know what we went through and yet we kept fighting for equality. The worse year was 1995 when at its peak 500 people died that year alone... Almost all of these death’s Gay men from our small community. No one was left unscathed... So glad that most young Gays will not have to go through that.  For past couple of days, driving home from downtown, I'd pass the homeless shelter and the cardboard tent city that is springing up between 4th and 2nd South on 5th west. I have never seen so many people there before and because they camp out on the meridian across from the Rio Grande their numbers look shocking. There must be a couple hundred people there men, women, children and what is the city, the state, or the Mormon Church, who can build a billion dollar shopping mall, doing about it? How can you say you love the poor and then grind their face in poverty? How can you allow the mentally ill live I such squalor or not provide treatment for the drug addicted. I'd seen this old yellow dog just sitting on the grassy meridian looking so worn out and tired the last several days. I was so worried about him whether he has food or water. So yesterday coming home from a Gay Men Aloud organizational meeting I stopped and asked people who this dog belonged to and when this raggedy fellow claimed him, I gave him a bag of dog food and told him to make sure his dog gets something to eat. There are no stores or anywhere to get dog food in the area that I can tell even if I had just given money. I hope he had water for his old dog. Poor old boy.  Some of the food banks have pet food to distribute I think. I see so many homeless people with dogs, and they are not allowed into the shelters with them. I believe the homeless with their limited resources try to treat their animal as good as they can. I hate seeing a homeless person with a homeless animal.  But they often are the last friend some of these people  will have and I know the worry they must feel when their companions don't get fed just as I do my critters. I hate seeing any one hungry but especially these animal companions who have no other home than with the homeless.  Someone told me they carry bags of dog food in their car to give out to anyone who is asking for a handout that has a dog. So I need to start doing that.  My spoiled little turkeys turn their noses up at half the stuff I fix them.  The latest knucklehead trend is that being Gay is not immutable and people make choices with their sexuality... The Center posted this article from a Utah Lesbian psychologist in which she said, “It is time to just take the whole idea of sexuality as immutable, the born this way notion, and just come to a consensus as scientists and as legal scholars that we need to put it to rest. It’s unscientific, it’s unnecessary and it’s unjust. It doesn’t matter how we got to be this way. As a scientist, I think it’s one of the most fascinating questions out there and one that I will continue to investigate. As a lesbian and a progressive, I think it’s totally irrelevant and just politics.”  This would be irritating enough coming from conservatives but when it is being promoted with in the so called LGBT community to promote polyamory and sexual fluidity it's downright appalling as well as being irresponsible. The word "choice" for my generation has a negative connotation as it was used to disparage, degrade, and condemn Gay men and Lesbian folk for our wrong choices. It was just another weapon to deny us equality. For millions of older Gay people we refuse to believe we chose to be Gay but rather believe as I do that God chose us. I think of being born a Gay man as my greatest gift... once I accepted it and stopped refusing it. I am glad that younger people are born into a world where homosexuality is not a mental illness, and that our sexual behaviors are no longer criminalized, and we can actually have the legal protection of marriage for the people we love. However let's not forget these milestones happened by the actions of millions of people who said we had no choice in being Gay and by the convincing of millions of straight people more that yes we had no choice in being Gay. The post Stonewall Generation are more concerned about gender identity only because our Stonewall Generation made the acceptance of sexual orientation nearly universally accepted as being immutable. For most of my life straight people had hoped to erase me as a Gay Man. It saddens me that parts of the community seems to be trying to erase my identity as a Gay man as well. But hell no! Not on my watch. So I posted “For a few it may be fluid but for many more Gay Men that I know it is not and we were born that way... Politically sexual fluidity gives support to the religious right that people are making a choice...a bad choice with social consequences... I was married to a woman for ten years and all that time I was a Gay man... Sexual orientation is who we are sexually attracted to and with whom we fall in love....This guy from New York replied to my post They still have no argument. It doesn't matter whether you were born this way or not. You are an adult and have the right to make a choice to live as you choose and it's none of any churches business. I choose to be with the person I love. That choice is strength. No choice makes us out to be victims and tells people that if we did have a choice we would choose to be "normal." I responded back, “True, the idea of choice should be enough and someday it may be but I want my rights now,  codified by immutable qualities. Who I am as a Gay Man is not by choice. The clothes I wear, the job I perform, what I want for breakfast are choices. Any future entity can someday say I am making the wrong choice by choosing to be Gay. The fact is that it is NOT a choice for most people. If it were then absolutely people would have chosen NOT to be Gay in the 1960's 70's and 80's when society, family, religion and peers condemned us and AIDS was ravaging us. People went through shock treatments, conversion therapy, and when all else failed attempted suicide to be "normal". We even continued to make love to each other although it was killing us. This sexual fluidity concept seems to harken back to the idea that being Gay is simply something you do and not who you are. Being a Gay Man is not a verb it’s a noun. Society changes and it can change back to heterosexual normative in a blink of an eye. Weimar Republic in Germany was the most Gay progressive country in the world before 1930. But when National Socialism came to power in the 1930's it was easy to round up all the homosexuals because they had registered with the cities they had lived in. What can't change and is immutable is our sexual orientation and it should be legally protected.  Even Justice Kennedy sided with us on Gay Marriage because he ruled that the evidence was that Gay orientation was immutable. By extension this Lesbian concept of being Gay as a choice it would then be logical to choose to be straight.  As a homosexual man I can choose to stay in the closet, pretend to be straight, or live openly as a proud Gay man. What I cannot chose is my desire to only be with men. That is from my point of view and coming from being a Gay activist who have fought for Gay people to not be institutionalized and criminalized longer than anyone at the center, I call this BS. I know from experience that many Lesbian are perhaps bisexual and can love a man or a woman but It has not been my experience that men are capable of true emotional bisexuality. Yes men can fuck anything that moves but it does not mean they love everything that moves. If being Gay is so fluid why were Gay men then excluded from the Dyke, Trans, and Sexual Fluidity March last June. Did we as Gay men make the wrong choice to decide to be lovers of men?” Then another article “The Queers Left Behind: How LGBT Assimilation Is Hurting Our Community's Most Vulnerable,”  was posted  a “growing rift between mainstream and marginalized LGBT people.”  While the gay rights movement in the United States has achieved a remarkable string of successes over the past several years, including the invalidation of the Defense of Marriage Act and the legalization of gay marriage, not everyone within the LGBT community is equally positioned to take advantage of these successes. After all, although marriage is a declaration of love, in many ways it is also an expression of interpersonal stability, economic security and social respectability -- attributes that many marginalized LGBT people do not have. So while love may have won for middle and upper class gays, many transgender people, queer people of color and queer homeless youths instead find themselves left behind by a community that has become increasingly defined by the interests of its white, cisgender, middle and upper class members. Over a decade ago, this powerful subsection of the LGBT community decided that the fight for marriage equality would be the modern cornerstone of the gay rights movement -- and for good reason. Marriage is an institution of respectability. The fight for gay marriage suggested that the gay community had grown up, left its radical past behind and was ready to join mainstream society as a reputable partner. It dismantled the hypersexual, flamboyant gay stereotype and replaced it with a more wholesome image that mainstream America found more palatable.” I wrote back “I have a hard time with any article that uses cisgender as to disparage people who are not trans. Marriage was NOT an assimilationist goal. It was a goal we fought very hard for legal protection of our loved ones. This writer needs to learn who Sharon Kowalski was. I support marriage equality knowing I will never marry nor want to get married but I should have that choice. This article promotes the new argument that some Gay people should be seen as the enemy... "And yet, as middle and upper class gays poured time and money into the fight for gay marriage, these and other less marketable LGBT issues were largely forgotten." This statement itself is a lie and a distortion. Homeless youth and Trans issues are the number one priority of organizations here in Utah. Who but the middle class and upper class people are pouring funds into these issues. It’s getting very tiresome listening to how marginalized some people feel and how Gay white men are the new bad guys... and that nobody is born Gay and everything is mutable and there is no binary unless it’s the "cisgender/transgender" binary. Can't these writers find joy and happiness in other people's joy and happiness? Roger Stephenson Not the enemy, just unaware. The numbers aren't as great, obviously, in Utah, but hit the streets of LA or any major metropolis and it IS the case. I will tell you who is "marginalized"... senior Gays and Lesbians... The very people who created the modern civil rights movement are back in closets of isolation. We in Utah are doing things not bitching. We are creating Triads to look after our elder. If the issue this person is passionate about is a problem then people should organize to fix it rather than bitch about it and play the victim. People could take a cue from ACT UP or the old Gay Liberationist movement and make a change. Roger Stephenson Absolutely. Seniors are marginalized. But plenty of youth still have the same issues we did, only worse. The problem is, without the means and a voice, young poor gays don't have a vehicle to organize or fix their issues. The focus needs to turn to mental health, education etc. I feel that happening but it is easy to forget, living in a nice place like Utah, where our community is smaller and closely knit, what it's like living on the streets, with nowhere to turn... I don't think it's a blame game, I think it only attests to the plight of LGBTIQQ’s of any class. We have to fight so much harder for everything. Well it sounds like blame to me. You know Stonewall was a youth rebellion and to say that youth don't have the means or voice is a cop out. Hell Queer Nation in Utah which was organized by Curtis was primarily a youth organization. I lived through the 1970's and 1980's and I can't believe the youth today have it worse than us. Look at all the resources and legal protection and acceptance they have today... When I was 18 in 1969 we had to fight and create every organization that exists today and it was primarily "cisgender" Gay kids that did it. Nothing was handed to us in Utah and we didn't complain about being marginalized we organized. With all the examples and models at their disposal the youth today can do the same. In fact we will be there to support them but it would be nice to show a little respect for those who fought and died for the successes today and stop complaining about the effort that went into Marriage Equality which is blessing for millions.  The young cisgender Rhode Scholar who wrote this article promotes false conclusions. He states "After all, although marriage is a declaration of love, in many ways it is also an expression of interpersonal stability, economic security and social respectability -- attributes that many marginalized LGBT people do not have. So while love may have won for middle and upper class gays, many transgender people, queer people of color and queer homeless youths instead find themselves left behind by a community that has become increasingly defined by the interests of its white, cisgender, middle and upper class members." So Marriage equality is not available to transgender people, queer people of color and queer homeless youths? "Marriage is an institution of respectability." Oh really I thought marriage first and foremost was about love and legal protection of creating a new family unit. Married couples still struggle with discrimination, health issues, and financial problems. They might be different than those issues of trans folks and gay people of color and homeless youth but they are just as real and pressing for them. I would think addressing sexism, racism, and income inequality would be a better use of energy than pitting one part of the community against the other. Our Gay Men Aloud group is taking off. Within two days of posting it we had 110 men join. I sign the rental agreement with Dennis McCracken at the Church and picked up a key this week, We are meeting the 1st and 3rd Monday of each month in the cultural hall. We talked about creating Triads for senior Gay men who do not have any support to check in and watch over each other. Gay home teachers LOL. We planned out a schedule for the first quarter until January. There is so much we can discuss but the most important element for me is building a sense of community again among the Gay men who fill shut out from the Pride Center and the youth culture. We are recreating our own tribe again. Sisters doing it for themselves LOL.  Well I am done ranting for a while.  I miss you. I watched some of Vicious. It’s a hoot. I cheered when Audrey was booted off. Did you know that she didn’t have to eat “slop” that the other team members had to eat? She got pizza and other foods because she was having issues.  And then not showing up for the nomination ceremony was egregious. But she’s special I suppose. Like Animal Farm said all animals are equal but some are more equal than others. I am, as I ever was, and shall ever be your friend  Ben

·         Benedgar regarding Gay Men Aloud- This what I wrote for detail on our 1st Meeting Sept 21.... Changes additions suggestions? "Organizational Meeting to Introduce Directors Charles Lynn Frost, Kent Scadlock, and Ben Williams -for you to get to know us and we you. Informal meeting however we will like to have some input on how we'd like to see this group grow so as to meet the needs of mature Gay Men. Seeking volunteers to help implement the goal of this group, which is to build friendships, be of service, and have fun. "

·         Charles Lynn What do you two think of these as an event holder until we get final logo, etc. I think the stylized hands with GAY MEN ALOUD could be quite effective and could be made in various sized versions. Thoughts?

·         Benedgar I liked the first one but my first impression was Arches National Park... I really like the simple hand clasping...it could mean a range of expressions, friendship, supportive, love

·         Charles Lynn This from Robert Edward Cross: Dear Charles, thank you for adding me to Gay Men Aloud. This is the very group that i have wanted to see formed. The Group the pride center has failed to serve. I am looking forward to the meetings and will be happy to help in any way am able. –Rob

·         Charles Lynn I do think we've tapped into a great need, we always knew it was needed, but I am so happy that gay men are ready for this.

·         Charles Lynn Mature means, ready to discuss the challenging issues, the elements that are shapers of our lives, and how we can support and be Gay male community.

·         Kent Scadlock I'm liking what both of you have stated. Charles' definition of Mature really brings our purpose into focus. Thank you both!!

·         Benedgar...Here are changes to the Details for the opening meeting... "Important first meeting to introduce organizers, Kent Scadlock, Charles Frost and Ben Williams and to discuss the aspirations of Gay Men Aloud. The meeting will be for you to get to know us, each other, and we you. We want to hear your input on how you would like to see this group grow so as to meet the wants and needs of our Gay Men tribe. We will be seeking volunteers willing to help implement the goal of this alliance, which is to build friendships, be of service, and have fun.

 

29 July 2015 Wednesday

 

30 July 2015 Thursday

 

31 July 2015 Friday

 

  

AUGUST

1 August 2015 Saturday Lammas

I feel like I am being blessed for past good deeds. Happy Lammas Celebrating the first harvest...So many have lost touch with working in the soil that this ancient holiday is not even recognized anymore... It's a cross quarter day midway between 1st day of Summer and 1st day of Fall...I love the month of August and the winding down of Summer labors and play. Named for the founder of the Roman Empire Caesar Augustus... It's overlooked for lack of major holiday or celebration... So it's up to us to make magick. My tomatoes are red, my squash is yellow, the bees are swarming my Russian Sage in its lavender majesty, and my herb garden perfumes my yard. St. Fiacre Patron saint of herb and vegetable gardens has watched over my little plot of land this summer. Soon I will be gathering seeds to store over the winter for spring planting. I went to Ogden’s first Gay Pride Day today with Chuck Whyte. I thought it would just be small event and a quick walk through but it was great and well attended. Jeff Lensman and his committee did a fabulous job... Michael Romero came up with Coco so we hung out and watched the drag shows put on by the Northern Rainbow Court. They did a fine entertaining job. It was sweet to see a little kid going up to the stage to hand them money for the cause they were raising money for.  Didn’t see a whole lot of SLC people supporting and none of the Board  of Pride Center except for Matt Landis who I think came mostly to hang out with Troy Williams. After coming home from Ogden, I got ready to go meet Alan Anderson who invited me to go see The Book of Mormon since he had a spare ticket because Kyle Daniels took off to go to Hilton Head in South Carolina on an invite by his cousin. Alan was upset of course but the tickets were part of his season package so it was not like he went out and bought tickets especially for Kyle and him. Besides Kyle had already seen it before so it was my good fortune because Kyle was being a butt. Our party was made up of Becky Moss, Jandy and her friend Andy who I finally realized was a Trans male. I guess Alan just bought himself a new car and it was a tight fit because all of us are hefty people but proud to say I was probably the lightest, which doesn’t say much. First we ate at Benihana before the show . and I had never eaten at a Benihana before so that was a unique experience. The food was good but I think you eat there for the show the chef puts on twirling and clanging his spatula while he prepares the meal on a grill in front of you. I bought my own dinner since Alan provided me a ticket for BoM and it was almost $30 with the tip.  I know like I am being a cheapskate but eating out has never had that much appeal for me. I sat next to Becky and  it was good catching up with her...we did a weekly radio show for 7 years together... She hates her new job down in Utah County and especially the two hour drive down and back every day. I did not know that she had her pancreas removed so she spends a fortune on insulin because her insurance doesn’t kick for a few months. Well Alan had orchestra seats so we sat two rows back from the orchestra pit and were so close we could see the dancing boys sweat... My stub said it was a $90 ticket and yet if you did not have a season pass the seat would have been $160! I was so lucky to see the Book of Mormon  here in SLC where the audience cheered and laughed getting all the nuances that I imagine other audiences in other cities would not have gotten. ...it was a magical night this first day of Lammas with bright blue moon shining over the city. I love my adopted home Crossroads of the West. The kid who played Elder Cunningham is an actor named AJ Holmes and he was terrific absolutely outstanding. Well so was Elder Price.

·         Roland Ron Holmgren You have such neat friends. Was the show what you expected?

·         Edgar Ben Williams And more... The sets, the dancing elders, some gay subtext, it was a tremendous production... One of the best shows I had ever seen and AJ Holmes and Billy Tighe were just so great...all the elements of a great musical... Even tap dancing

·         Bill Poore You never pay for anything, shows, dinners. I really have to start putting out more. "I Believe" I think I am going to join a church.

·         Doug Murri Glad you got to see BofM. It really is a well done musical. Thanks to Elder Alan Anderson, we're going to be seeing it in SLC next Sunday. I'm so excited to experience the energy of a local audience at the show. Glad you enjoyed it..

·         Bill Poore of course he enjoyed it, Elders dancing and singing in the black and whites....this man went to BYU, it was for the black and whites.

·         Edgar Ben Williams I can't help that I have a garment fetish

·         Richard P. Butler Seems to me you have a retirement fetish as well.

·         Terrie Williams sounds like a wonderful evening. Love that retirement is fitting so well into your schedule. gives me hope that soon i too will get that enjoyment. we just got to keep taking good care of our bodies.

 

2 August 2015 Sunday

I drove down to Gunnison today to see Kyle. Entering into Gunnison there was lightning strikes and dark clouds but the trip down was rather uneventful. For some reason it too almost 15 minutes to have the guard at the gate get the 4 cars waiting processed in and it started to sprinkle. I gave the correctional officer inside the facility the renewal form for visitation. Every year you have to fill out a new form and mine was about to expire. Even though I reached Gunnison at 12:30 it was 1 p.m. before I went through all the channels to get into the visitors room. At one point waiting to go in the power went off in the prison and everything went black but within seconds the power came back. Kyle was not expecting to see me but he was so glad because he had been so worried about me. He tried calling a few times last Thursday but I must not have heard the phone. He was afraid I was in the hospital or something happened to me and no one would let him know. I was touched by how concerned he was. I told him about going to see The Book of Mormon and he was so excited for me and I told him why I hadn’t written because of not being able to print on the laptop and I still haven’t gotten window 10 on my new desk top. We had a good visit… just chit chatting and catching him up on local gossip The time as always went by to quickly and I held him in my arms as long as I could then said goodbye. It was raining when I left Gunnison and I hit patches of rain all the way home. It was a summer storm and it made air smell so sweet. I made good time coming home. Two hours driving down, two hour visit, and two hours coming home. . The Book of Mormon play touched something in me and reawakened some old feelings when I once was a Mormon myself.

 

3 August 2015  Monday

Chuck called me this morning asking for a ride for a doctor’s appointment because of an issue with his foot again. I got on the 215 because it's the fastest way into the city when about a mile east of Redwood Road all traffic came to a screeching halt...normally it takes me 15 minutes to get to Chucks condo in the city but after sitting for 15 minutes and hearing sirens screaming I called my ex Mike to go pick Chuck up for his appointment. The southbound ramp to I 15 was shut down and they were diverting all traffic to the northbound lane going to Ogden...it was a crawl to 6th north but by that time Mike was able to fetch Chuck up to the hospital...took me 35 minutes to go 2 miles...I am sure some jerk was speeding in this rain where the ramp drops from 65 miles to 45 miles and that's in good weather. When he was done with his appointment I went back into the city to pick him up…So it was a Busier day than I planned taking Chuck his appointments ... But I managed to straighten the house so it's presentable for dinner and movie night with Seth and Michael. Except for sitting on the freeway for 35 minutes I am loving this drenching steady rain... Feels like an autumn rain more than a summer shower. Yesterday on my ride south there was thunder and lightning with summer storm clouds that changed the ions in the air and made the air smell so sweet. Great to be alive and breathing in the rich air...I had a wonderful evening with good friends, good food, and a good movie. I fixed a farewell dinner for J Seth Anderson and Michael Adam Ferguson as they make a backwards Mormon migration to New York. They wanted to watch a movie with me once more before heading east. Michael is doing a post doctorate internship in Ithaca New York. For dinner I roasted a chicken stuffed with herbs from my garden, baked a macaroni and cheese dish for Seth since he's a vegetarian, butter sautéed summer squash from the garden, fresh green beans with mushrooms, fried yams, fried okra, and a garden salad with tomatoes from the garden. I also  invited Bill Poore to dinner so he could share his experience living in NYC during the AIDS crisis because we watched Longtime Companions in the movie room. I also invited my ex Mike over for dinner but he didn't stay for the movie for Gay Men of my generation the film is too hard to watch... He worked on getting my computers up and running again. For Bill and I we had to fight back our feelings but for Seth and Michael I think it was much more of a history lesson because they never had to experience their friends dying or live in fear you might be infected too. After all this time the emotions the film elicits are still raw... But it was really a great evening. Seth is coming back in October for about a month and I said he could use the downstairs bedroom if he needed to.

·         J Seth Anderson Thank you, Ben! We'll do another night when we are back in October. Edu-gay-tion night with Edgar Ben Williams, Michael, and Bill Poore. We watched "Longtime Companion." I also brought my fruit pizza cuz we're all a bunch of fruits. It's my way of saying thank you and goodbye (for now) to Ben. (Sugar cookie crust, cream cheese frosting, and all those fruits.)

·         Roland Ron Holmgren My best friend, Duane, was diagnosed with AIDS when I took him to see "longtime Companion". I didn't want him to see it, but he insisted. He thanked me afterwards. I watch it periodically, but it is still, after this time, painful to watch. Every time you describe your menus, I slobber over my tablet. You set a fine table. Nice that you had such a nice send off for your friends.

·         Bill Poore The dinner was really great Ben.....I loved it all especially the veggies.

·         Ruadhan O'Sheridan I still bawl when I watch Longtime Companion.

 

4 August 2015 Tuesday

After the baiting and killing of a tame lion named Cecil in Africa by a pathetic dentist from Minnesota there’s an increased awareness of the atrocity of big game hunting actually any killing for sport....hunting for game to put food on the table is quite different from wealthy psychopaths who kill for sport... How are they any different than the sick individuals that take pleasure in killing or maiming dogs and cats? One of my great grand uncles named John Williams “of Albemarle County, North Carolina filed a deed in 1720 giving to James Blount 10 acres “for love and affection I bear my neighbor”. There is no known blood relationship between the two men and the term “love and affection” is general reserved for kinship or "very close friends." Evidently John Williams had a special fondness for James Blount, a Tuscarora Indian who in 1736 was chosen as King of the Tuscarora Nation. John Williams died in 1722 at the age of 30 unmarried.

·         Bill Poore-Did you see the Mormon Church released a picture of the seer stone Joseph used to translate the Book of Mormon with along with one of the original copies of the hand written book...It was really funny watching church leaders talk about this scared stone.....

·          Me- Yes I did LOL  Smith involvement with folk magic took a new turn after learning from his neighbor, Sally Chase, that objects could be located "by means of a `peep-stone' placed in a hat." The stone became a medium through which Smith could contact the world of spirits. The notion that Smith was in his early career a practicing medium was later espoused by several Mormons who also believed in Spiritualism. Thomas Stenhouse, a Mormon editor of several Salt Lake newspapers, wrote, "the dissenting Mormons asserted that Joseph was `nothing more than a highly developed Medium', in the spiritualistic sense of the word." He also wrote "Brigham Young was in the habit of saying of Joseph that `he was natural born seer.'" Lorenzo Saunders, Chase's brother-in-law claimed: "Well I will tell you they did dig; Willard Chase & Alvin, the one that died; they dug before Alvin died [in 1823]. Willard Chase told me about a place…They dug that hole for money. Chases and Smiths altogether was digging it" (12) It was here during this treasure hunt on Chase's property that Joseph Smith discovered his own "peep stone". Deep in the hole Smith found a peculiar, round stone, which he announced to his companions, was a "peep stone".

·         Bill - what a joke, I am just dumb folded that these people believe this crap....that is the main reason I have no respect for Mormons....they are sheep.....The Temple ceremony is a joke. dumbfounded.....I didn't type that word dumb folded....

 

5 August 2015 Wednesday\

I hope people slept better than I did last night. Some pesky mosquitoes got into the house last night and had a feast on me... Legs ankles fingers itched so much... Finally slathered myself with calamine lotion. Not a pretty girl or a happy camper. Why am I so delicious? Greek tonight for dinner pork Shikibo’s, pita bread, and salad with Greek dressing and a glass of sangria...I get the distinct impression that Bisexuals and Trans are upset with Gay men and Lesbians. “The leading bisexual dating site BisexualFish.com has removed thousands of gay and lesbian profiles because it has decided that it will not allow gays and lesbians to be part of their dating community. “We want to reiterate that our service is only for people who are attracted to both men and women,” said Marshall, founder of BisexualFish.com. “We just want to provide a place where everyone has the same orientation”

·         Bill my little missionary from Taiwan finally contacted me, the gay boy.  He is in Ohio for the summer, wants to talk to me.  He is going to the Y in the Fall.  I told him I know a lot of ex missionaries that went to the Y who are not non Mormons and living a totally queer life. He didn't want to hear it.  I told him he was just delaying a decision he will have to make sooner or later.  He still plans on getting married in the Temple and having children....

·         Me-Well growing up takes time

·         Bill Poore, where are you

·         Alan Anderson Without me?

·         Roland Ron Holmgren Yum. Love Greek food.

·         Edgar Ben Williams Home ... I can cook you know

·         Bill Poore You know Greek food is my favorite, just ask my Greek Veteran friends at the pool. I am always asking where is the best place to go. I love lamb and feta cheese

·         Edgar Ben Williams I won't eat baby anything unless it's baby Swiss cheese

 

6 August 2015 Thursday

I need to start shutting the bathroom door. Poor Daisy will climb into the bathtub to lay on the cool porcelain but by the time I find her back legs get so stiff or fall asleep that it hurts her to get out and when I help her she cries like I'm hurting her. Buddy will lay on the bathroom rug to be near his sister. They are both 10 and a half years old now and their hind legs are not as strong as they use to be... I think all Terriers have weak hind legs because the bend them behind them so as to crawl down holes which is what they were bred for.  I Had an appointment with these pharmacy workers at the Redwood Road Clinic about managing my diabetes. I have to test myself twice a day so I can report into to them. So I am on a very low carb regiment right now. Four hours in the front yard this afternoon. I planted three 5 gallon containers of black eyed Susans and 3 five gallon pots of purple cone flowers in the front yard. Then dug up all my day lilies separated the bulbs and replanted them where they get more sun. I went out to Deseret Perennials way out on California and 56th West to get my perennials... That is a dangerous place. I could spend a lot of money there. They only sell Utah climate adapted perennials. I washed old Ruby Red my PT Cruiser today because whatever was all over the road Monday during that rain splashed up onto the car. When I took Coco home to Mikes I saw a baby mouse across the street in the gutter. He was just going around and around and could not get back up where there were grasses. I think the little fellow may have even been blind so I scooped him up and put him where there was food to let him live out his natural life however short that might be...all creatures great and small

·         Terrie Williams one time i had a mouse in the house. it appeared when i was watching tv. it came out from behind my entertainment center and just froze, 'like, yikes what do i do now? i got a bag and scooped him up and took him across the street where there were plenty of bushes and set him free.'...it must be in the genes

·         Tracy L Johnson-Faulkner Bless you for touching a rodent.

·         Edgar Ben Williams When Mike and I bought this place nearly 20 years ago after planting all my shrubs, trees, and grass, started having a mole varmint burrowing and eating the roots. I took a hose and put it in a hole and turned the water on and up popped this water dazed critter...Mile said for me to kill it and I said no you kill it but neither one had the heart so I scooped him up in a glass container and we drove over to the Jordan River and set him free where there were plenty of food. Felt bad evicting him from his home but we didn't want to kill him just wanted him to stop eating all our hard work lol

50 years ago Lyndon B Johnson signed the Voting Act of 1965... He didn't just sign it... He made it happened. He strong armed... Cussed out Southern politicians, everything but blackmail to get this law passed and now the GOP members of the Supreme Court wants to gut it... LBJ was one of the greatest Civil Rights presidents but is only remembered for the Vietnam Nam War that he inherited.

 So many people seem to be bent out of shape over the new Stonewall movie...I don't recall people's underwear up in the ass about the movie Stonewall that came out in the 1990s...it's just a movie but some are pissed that it doesn't show Sylvia Rivera and Marsha Johnson leading the charge... Well maybe it's because they didn't... Read the police reports and not some revisionist history to push a politically correct agenda.

·         Bill Poore Well this movie from what I could see from the trailer is a low budget film around a new kid in town, not historically correct but low budget...did everyone hear that . This is not the great movie about Stonewall.....and in the fall is a new movie called "Happy Birthday Miss Marsha" which is showing Sylvia and Miss Marsha leading the riots....It is supposed to be about Miss Marsha's birthday and they go to the Stonewall to celebrate....in fact it was my good friend Yvonne Ritters 18 birthday that night, she was there and arrested.

·         Edgar Ben Williams It plays better if two Trans are there

·         Ruadhan O'Sheridan So, just wondering, who started the riot and what role did Sylvia and Miss Marsha play in all of this? I am reading all kinds of things around Facebook, but you seem to be the BEST source since you were there, Bill.

·         Bill Poore I was on the streets that night but not in the Village....Sylvia was for sure there as was Miss Marsha but it was the street kids that started the riots. It was a riot, it just started. Ruadhan O'Sheridan Cool. Now I am not trying to cross examine you here or anything, but in a post yesterday or the day before to one of Ben's posts on this movie, and I may be wrong, I thought you said that Miss Marsha was not there at the beginning and that Sylvia left to get her and bring her back. Am I remembering that correctly or am I full of it?

·         Ruadhan O'Sheridan Basically, what I am trying to understand is how the trans folks are trying to take credit for something they should not here.

·         Bill Poore Well that is what Miss Marsha said about going to get Sylvia, Sylvia was a force of great activism. The riots lasted for three nights and the crowds got bigger each night, flyers were passed out, no one group can take credit, it was the community fighting rights,. I lived in the Village, there was no division like we have in SLC, we really were a family fighting the establishment. This cis gender thing is just another form of discrimination

·         Ruadhan O'Sheridan This guy pretty much speaks for me about the whole CIS label. You might like what he has to say, too. I Am NOT Cisgendered

·         Bill Poore I like this, again gay men were not part of the conversation. I am not cis gender , I am Gay , a Fag, a queer, stop trying to rename me

·         Greg Tracie Aviary Hardin Can't wait to see it I'll try not, "to keep my underwear up my ass!" Hugs!

·         Edgar Ben Williams The riot happened because of the mood of the crowd outside the bar not by anything inside it. The arrest of people as they were being placed in the paddy wagon ignited the frustration of the mostly young antiestablishment street kids. It was a full moon, it was hot and humid, lots of people up at night, Judy Garlands funeral had just happened. It was not a Trans riot. The angry mood of the crowd escalated and started throwing money and booing the police who sensed the anger and they retreated back into the bar. The crowd attacked the bar thawing trash cans, pulled up a parking meter as a battering ram threw rocks and bricks and tried to burn the place. The police called for backup and we're ready to shoot if the crowd broke into the bar. It was not a Trans riot it was a homosexual riot...the people there identified as homosexuals and not as Trans ... That came later. The riot was estimated at being nearly 400 people...nearly all angry young homosexual males who were itching for a fight...the next night straight men joined the fight but mostly to loot and fight cops... In no way were Rivera and Johnson the catalyst for the riot as the revisionist Trans would have you believe. They hate this movie because it doesn't support their co-opting Stonewall as their event instead of the catalyst of Gay Liberation...I am amazed at how many young people believe that Stonewall was a Trans event. Tell a lie enough and people will believe it. If anyone was a catalyst it may have been the dyke Fowler who hit one of the police while being arrested. Both Rivera and Johnson had severe mental health issues and depended on the charity of others. They were great at rabble rousing but not at organizing a revolution The mayor Lindsey was trying to clean up NYC for his next election and was putting pressure on the police to clear out the degenerates

·         Bill Poore There were raids all the time in the Village area, the unique thing about Stonewall is it was protected because it was Mafia owned and the cops didn't bother it however that hot summer night they did.

·         Ruadhan O'Sheridan Thank you both for this extra insight. I don't understand why trans people would try to co-opt this. It seems like there is more and more tension building up between LG people and T people.

·         Jim Fouratt I have been asked what i think of the use of the word"cis". OK I will bite the bullet' I view the word "cis" as hate language . used to divide people and use collective shame to empower a very small minority of people who cannot even agree on a definition of Trans. I don't use it and refuse to engage with politically correct people who are well intended and thoughtless. Once again a word birthed in the privileged world of academia

 

7 August 2015 Friday

I am bone tired tonight. I restrung my rope lights around the hot tub and cleaned up leaves all over the deck. I even hung a Japanese lantern also from the rafter. Then about 1:30 I went over to Mike’s place thinking he’d be at work but he was home so he helped me trim his trees and bushes in his yard and the across his street where there is a 5 foot strip that has never been cleaned up so I pulled weeds, cut down elm weed trees, trim bushes and hoed to work the rock hard ground. I worked about 3 hours and filled up his one trash can and we threw the rest of the debris into the back of my pickup to haul to the dump tomorrow.  I was wanting to sit in the hot tub but the wind was coming up something fierce. It was this time of year that a tornado hit downtown about 16 years ago. As I was sitting down to type more of Joseph Smith’s Looking Glass I noticed the wind coming up and then a terrific storm hit...but by 7:30 the wind died down although it kept raining I think for most of the night

·         Me to Bill Poore What are you doing tomorrow?

·         Bill Nothing, have a lunch on Sunday but free tomorrow.

·         Me-You want to go out to the dump with me tomorrow and I will fix you a Greek lunch

·         Bill Sure where is the dump?  What time do you want me to come over.  You don't need to fix me lunch though.

·         Me- I already have it ready. Just reheat and a salad. The dump is about 72nd west and California (13th South) let’s eat first about noon

·         Bill  So you want me to be there around 12?  We could go earlier if you wish. I have to find my butch gloves.....

·         Me -Well the dump is messy so we might want to eat first. I have pork shiskabobs, salad with Greek dressing, cucumbers and pita bread.

·         Bill -So you want me there at what time?

·         Me- Let’s say noon ,,, have a little lunch leave at 12:30 be back by 1:30

·         Bill -ok will be there at 12, wow I can’t believe all the post I am seeing on this film, with trans screaming their heads off.  I just had to straighten out a straight girl student I knew at the U....She posted a link by this tran in Wash state that really is attacking the lgbt community for not telling the truth....

·         Me- Sick fucks

·         Bill Poore I was wondering when the storm would arrive. The news sort of had it moving west of SLC.

·         Edgar Ben Williams It's raining to beat the band here with lots of wind

·         Bill Poore it is raining here [Liberty Park] as well, now I don't need to water the lawn.  

·         Denise Wachs We are getting it big here [Arizona] too! Heidi, mom and I had dinner with the patio door open to enjoy the rain and thunder. I pulled the meat off the BBQ just as the down pour came on.

·         Edgar Ben Williams Monsoon

·         Roland Ron Holmgren Send some here. [Kearns]

·         Kevin Scott I was pretty worried about Jose, driving from Provo (with an uncovered mattress in the back of his truck). Thankfully he made it, passing through a bunch of accidents.

·         Beau Chaine' Yes! That tornado pushed my old VW van against a tree or it would have rolled over! LOL

·         Roland Ron Holmgren You worked on your ex's yard. And across the street? You are a nice guy.

·         Edgar Ben Williams Got tired of looking at his weeds when I take Coco home LOL

 

8 August 2015 Saturday

Another very full day...this morning I had to clean up after the storm which blew  branches and twigs everywhere all over the deck and yard...then about noon Bill Poore came over and we had some lunch before heading out to the county dump.  He likes Greek Food so I warmed up some Pork Shiskabobs, made a salad, and served pita bread. I didn’t need to go to the dump because I could have dumped all of Michaels yard waste over by the railroad tracks behind the freeway which is just overgrown weeds but I thought it would be good to get Bill out of the house and take a drive even if out to the county dump. It was a beautiful clear day after the storm and all the mountains looked so bright and new, not hazy. After Bill went home I transplanted some my herbal lemon grass in the front yard because I like how they leaf out. The I decided to pulled weeds dig all the growth that liked to grow in the driveway. It took a while but it really cleaned up the driveway. Compulsive I know but it looks pretty.  I guess the Polynesians finally laying sod across the street at Jay and Gisella’s old place made me want to do a lot more on my yard. After that I drove into tow to deliver some squash and tomatoes to Charles Frost because I wanted to see their new puppy Cash...so damn adorable. I didn’t stay all that long because I need to get home and fix a Greek dinner for Alan Anderson and Kyle Daniels. Ever since I posted on FB that I made Greek Shiskabobs people been wanting them.  They came over about 7:30 and brought Corky and Bhani (Bonnie) over too because I have a party house for the hound dogs... and  Alan brought some caramel apple vodka that was tasty when mixed with 7 UP was really tasty. I made up a fresh batch of Shiskabobs, a good salad, yellow squash from my garden sauté with a red bell pepper and mushrooms. I also made a Greek yogurt and cucumber salad. I fried the pita bread in garlic butter so we had a feast. Kyle really wanted to hot tub but I could tell Alan was hesitant and wanted to watch a movie instead. Unfortunately I had given all my movies to Michael to copy since he lost his drive but I showed them a clip from The Damned that showed the Night of the Long Knives and then we watched Buster Keaton's Classic The General since neither of them had seen it. Nearly 90 years old and holds up to day as a great story and comedy.  Kyle Daniels’s allergies were really bad tonight but otherwise fun company and nice ending to a long day... I love August. Doug Cartier Tollstrup blindsided me with a message on a comment I made on one of his posts that was innocent and he took offense so I set my FB so that I can’t see any of his posts.

·         Douglas Cartier-hey Ben, your comment about trans and the pic of Courtney, Kennedy and me makes no sense.  How come you only comment on anything I post unless you're trying to be funny or rude?

·         Edgar Ben Williams I didn't mean to be rude or funny please delete I just meant that everything is being turned into a trans issue these days... I am sorry if I offended you... I have too much respect for you

·         Douglas Cartier, well, I didn't even get it, but I wasn't sure what you meant.  no offense, just wondered.

·         Alan Anderson Thank you so much for the wonderful dinner. And the pups love Auntie Bens.

·         Bill Poore See Alan and Kyle get a movie, I get the dump.

·         Charles Lynn Frost Thanks for the garden produce, much appreciated, we had some for dinner. Cash kept wandering to the door after you left. He knows there's a dog story behind you!

·         Edgar Ben Williams Dogs love the way I smell... people might not though LOL but most the time I prefer dogs anyway. So less judgmental

        

9 August 2015 Sunday

I slept in until almost 9 am this morning after going to bed after midnight. I fixed me a breakfast of 3 scrambled eggs with chopped ham, red bell pepper, and Swiss cheese with one slice of butter toast and jam and coffee. Then I did the dished up from yesterday’s dinner party, put on a couple loads of wash. Typed a little before heading over to Michael’s place to finish weeding and I transplanted some of his ground covering and planted some Russian Sage across the street  from his place which belongs to the city but he’s responsible for. I worked for about three hours and it was pretty nice outside, not hot at all. Came home and ate some lunch but I forget to test my blood before eating so I tested it afterwards. While I only had a BLT sandwich with two strips of bacon my blood sugar registered 275! Yikes.  In the afternoon I worked getting the desk computer working again and the printer on line. I finally sent Kyle his letter that I wrote back on the 28th of July. I need to get him a more current one but I also need to get my journal up to date. I didn’t see anyone today and only talked to Mike after he came home from Evanston and that was on the phone to remind him to water the Russian Sage. I guess he missed the huge storm Friday but it did rained on him. So that’s that.  At Smith’s they are roasting Hatch’s green chilies like they do this time of year. It smells so great!

·         Me to Bill Poore - How was your lunch?

·         Bill- it was great, it is always uplifting to be around her.  She is so smart, and full of energy, very special woman totally unlike the trans.

·         Me -I am glad she give you good positive energy

·         Bill- I don't think the U will be able to keep her, she leaves for Chicago tomorrow to work on a show, back to start her classes then leaves again.

·         Me -Well enjoy her while you can

·         Bill - A college in Penn wants her to come Spring Semester, I know she is looking around.

·         Me- Utah doesn't have a lot to offer a talented Black woman

·         Jim Foureatt- A Gay man who was actually at Stonewall that night and a historic figure in the founding of Gay Liberation had this to say about the movie Stonewall and some in the Trans Community who is calling to boycott it because it doesn't follow their narrative of the events   "So there is this new movie that just popped up with the advance hype machine at play .. It is called Stonewall the Movie. Directed by an established Hollywood director and written by an award winning Broadway (serious plays) writer. Most people know I was at the first night starting at 10:30 when it actually began and the three nights after that included the founding of the Gay Liberation Front a multi-issue political group that rejected single issue politics and made up of women and men reflecting a needlepoint of diversity (race, gender, age and what we use to say was class) / So a few friends have already asked me directly and here on FB. what did I think of it. I have not seen the film , just the trailer; so here is a pre-first look response that is a little all over the place :  Oh Justin: I have not seen the film, only the trailer and will reserve final judgement until I do. But please, the same old bull: bricks or stones on Christopher Street., Oh please! Neither Sylvia Rivera, nor Bob Kohler were there that first night, (did you hear that David France ????) The dreadful David Carter fantasy book (Stonewall Riot) of a young white runaway boy, the non-vetted ramblings of John O'Brien who no one I know who was there ever saw (it was not a large crowd that first night), confabulates a false narrative starring his butch f .the lies of the cops that Carter believed and the lack of any independent research ...I have not changed my story since 1969. Told it in Martin Duberman's STONEWALL,I have always rejected the idea of a riot .. I have used the word rebellion on Charlie Rose and Stephen Colbert and in books and documentaries . Does the truth matter, I ask myself? I answer yes but seem very alone in the beautiful room of truth. Jon Robin Baitz, the writer , is a good playwright. Did he talked to me ? No.. Putting a straight template on the night diminished what actually happened. I was there. I know what happened from personal experience. … what really makes me sad ..and see the same thing happening with same sex civil marriage .. our stories and insights are covered over with heterosexual expectations rather that discovering what is unique in out contribution to changing history. .. the one thing I do know it could not be as terrible given the talent involved as that dreadful STONEWALL movie the BBC and Christine Vachon produced years ago .. the one that paid Martin Duberman $70,000 for the rights to his book (in violation of his agreement with the participants) .and then the director and writer threw it out the window as they only wanted to use the title,..but that is another story tbc...,

·         Jim Fouratt also made this comment "Folks .. a fire story has erupted already over a film that no one I know has seen myself included . It is a narrative film based on a real life event .STONEWALL. I think it is going to be a very bumpy ride because so many people have invested in a political meaning for the event (not knowing that for sure) The problem is confabulation and desire has turned a real event into a myth which is played out not on fact but desire .. Being there those nights changed my life forever. I have my experience and at least from point of view and participation can talk to my experience .. When people lie or present a false narrative I have and will speak up. Myth is rarely based on fact but heightened reality. I want to see the film to see what it says . I had nothing to do with it. I do know I tried years ago to intervene in a BBC film about Stonewall that Christine Vachon was producing .. it was a depersonalizing experience ... and painful. ..So I suggest we go slow here and separate fact from fantasy and historical confabulation. I have not posted the trailer as I do not want to be a pawn in the marketing of a film I have not seen.

·         Roland Ron Holmgren I don't understand why everyone has their panties in a bunch over the trailer. If everyone who claims they were there that night, five thousand were involved in the "riot". It isn't a documentary, it is a fictional accounting of the nights from what I understand. History is frequently "changed" by storytellers. Wait, see the film, then pass judgement. We would like to see our history reported or filmed historically accurate, but like much of history, isn't always going to happen.

 

10 August 2015 Monday

Up early this morning to take Chuck Whyte to his doctor’s appointment to see about his big toe... I know he's worried he'd lose it... My restless night dims in comparison but something kept biting me and making me itch so in the middle of the night I stripped my bed completely threw the mattress covers into the wash and slept in another room... I was paranoid I might had bed bugs after googling about them... Never had bed bugs in Utah before... Could be spiders mosquitoes or even something else but waking up at 2 am with itchy bites is no fun but at least I didn't have to go into work. Coming come from taking Chuck back home I flipped my mattress and examined it and sure enough it looked like I had some critters on the mattress. No expert but appeared to be the dreaded bed bugs. Crap. So I spent the entire day cleaning my bedroom and doing wash.  I vacuumed the mattress on both sides and in the seams took them all the captain bed frame…empties all the drawers and threw the clothes down stairs, vacuumed the carpets, sprayed everything down with a bleach solution, and had to go through all my papers and stuff. It was an all-day chore and hard work.  Miserable day for sure but my bedroom is becoming spotless. I hope. Tomorrow I will get a bed bug cover for the mattress to seal it and something to spray the room for bugs and hope I caught this in time and hasn’t spread to other rooms. I have no idea where they came from. But I understand it takes weeks to eradicate them.  While moving things around I put the large flat screen TV in the bedroom out of the front room.  I never have company here to watch TV and I live alone so I might as well enjoy it. Not  sure what to do with the smart TV.  So that is my big bed bug adventure. I think perhaps the warm winter and rainy summer had something to do with the spread because I never had bed bugs before that I know of.  Looking on google I found a fringe Trans movement called Die Cis Scum. Well Well Well.

·         Roland Ron Holmgren Utah doesn't have fleas, either, I think.

·         Bill Poore If you have bed bug you should be able to see them. You have to really spray your mattress.

·         Kathy Riser I remember being up at 4 AM, itching uncontrollably, researching the "Acarite" web site at the University of Michigan. after catching little mites on scotch tape and taking them top the vet, I learned we had poultry mites, probably gotten from birds taking dust baths in my garden, and me spending so much time out there. Pyrethrin fixed the problem.

·         Bill Poore There was a News special on channel 4 today about bed bugs and fleas......I didn't think there were fleas in Utah but there are.  You know if you got fleas because you will have bites that really itch, little red bites.  Bed bugs also bite and leave a read mark.  If you have fleas you can see them on a white sheet....they are black very tiny and they jump.....you can also see bed bugs. fleas lay like a thousand eggs so you need to have someone come in and spray for them.  start with the dogs. you can check to see if they have them first then you will know if they are in your house.  I was in the hospital for a week in Calif from a fucking flea bite. In a Pride News Letter the new director was in a photo at the pool party, all women, not one man and Dayne, Dayne has worked himself in with the new director.

·         Edgar Ben Williams -I know fleas ... Lived in CA long enough to see my poor dogs suffer from them... I bathe the dogs pretty regularly and haven't seen anyone them... I think it's bed bugs. I’ve been cleaning my bedroom all day stripping all the covering washing all the clothes and sheets that were in the drawers under the bed...vacuumed the mattress and sprayed everything with a water bleach mixture... Probably will go buy a mattress bed bug cover and some pyrethrin but not sure where. Never had bugs before...I wonder if the warm winter had something to do with it? I have pulled out all my drawers and vacuumed and sprayed... Hopefully I don't have a bad infestation... I have no idea where they came from. I saw this new Trans hate group called “Die Cis Scum.” Evidently it’s  a real thing.

·         Bill Poore I watched the YouTube video you sent.....they are mentally ill, freaks, and this is going to be a much bigger problem than normal gay men like Charles realize.  They will become more obsessed with this and it will become the message coming out of the Pride Center.....I will fight cis every time I hear it. If you have bed bugs you can see them in your mattress, look along the stitching, they are little bugs, and if you are bitten buy them they will leave a mark.  I mean you could have brought them in from your students...carried on their clothes, coats, or even your dogs.

·         Edgar Ben Williams My dogs don't go anywhere to come in contact with them... This is exactly what I meant when I said Cis Gender is just another form of discrimination.....I mean in these little propaganda pictures, they are calling us Cis scum ......how much hate and anger is behind that.

·         Bill Poore I saw four Trans at the VA today.....one more uglier than the next....one with one of those really ugly short wigs the worst clothes , They seem to be taking over some of the meetings.  Really scary.

·         Edgar Ben Williams I think instead of saying good bye I will just say Die Cis Scum Time for bed Die Cis Scum

·         Bill Poore- I hope the bed bugs get you   cis scum. I am going to start call gay men cis scum.

 

11 August 2015 Tuesday

I went and had a haircut and beard trim. I was getting rather shabby. Then I went off to Walmart to buy a mattress cover that is supposed to be bedbug proof. I also bought two new pillows. I don’t think I’ve been in a Walmart since I bought a couple of plants this spring. Then off to DI where I bought some pillow cases and a few other things before coming home and working some more on my bedroom. I bagged up all my clothes in black plastic bags to put out in the sun hopefully to kill the bugs with heat. The battle of the bed bugs continues... tore up my whole bedroom, vacuumed mattresses, carpet, empties all my drawers, washing or bagging every bit of clothing, sprayed everything with a bleach water solution, getting a mattress bug cover today and Andy Dalrymple is coming over tomorrow as a reinforcement. Victory will be mine. The dogs and I slept in the movie room and had a good night sleep... I don't have a clue where they came from...I wonder if the warm winter we had last year and the mild and wet summer we have had so far may contribute to an outbreak of unwanted critters? I try to keep a clean house, really. I heard on FB that the prison location is going to be 5 miles west of the airport. Good place for it even if some Salt Lakers are hollering like stuck pigs.  I guess Ralph Becker and Jackie Biskupski won the Primary and will now face each other in the general election.  I have only had critters twice in my life and neither were fun. When I was 17 years old I came back to Garden Grove from spending a summer in Texas. About two weeks after coming home I started itching like crazy in an area that you aren't supposed to itch in public. I was looking at an unusual brown speck and picked at it with a tweezer and I nearly jumped when it moved! I told my folks and dad having been in the Navy said I picked up crabs. Back then I had to go to the County Health Department VD clinic and although I went by myself I was embarrassed beyond belief and they didn't have private offices but just partitions. A doctor examined me and said yep crabs and gave me A200 solution to wash with and all my bedding. Now you can buy it over the counter. No one believed that I picked them up without having sex but I had. I know I must have picked them up from sleeping in the bed of this 19 year old cowboy friend. Back then boys shared beds. We did nothing but cuddle...absolutely nothing. LOL... I caught scabies from my ex- but that's an entirely different story and not as much fun as cuddling with my calf roping rodeo Cowboy.

·         Richard P. Butler Steam clean the carpets. The steam kills the bugs

·         Roland Ron Holmgren I could write something snarky about inviting those trashy boys home, but you don't so I won't. Bed bugs has nothing to do with the way you keep your house. For some reason bed bugs have been equated with cleanliness. Not true. Some of the finest hotels have had the critters. A while ago, there was a major outbreak of bedbugs in SLC. I think you probably got them when you went to see "Book of Mormon". The good LDS folks are known to get revenge.

·         Amy Barry I had an infestation of clothing moths last year and bought a steamer that I did the entire upstairs baseboards and there is an attachment for mattresses and fabric. You are welcome to borrow it. Kelly Byrnes Steam the mattress as well. Both sides.

·         Jamie Turnbow Diatomaceous Earth: Natural Bed Bug Control Ben go to IFA no matter where you’re at in the process. .it's the only stuff that actually gets rid of them. It's natural and it works! I also recommend before you bag your bed you use this stuff called bed bedblam. It kills them and use duct tape over the zipper enclosure. If you want info call Deb 8015979308 or I 8019791177 we have been there and went through the process and can give you ALOT of information. Chemicals don't help they just slow the growth down for a minute. It's important you do the research!!!  They are immune to chemical spray

·         Andy Dalrymple Generally, nobody is at fault; they just hitch rides and boom! I am expert at dealing with them. Have helped various homes.

·         Edgar Ben Williams thanks everyone

 

12 August 2015 Wednesday

Dear Kyle,  I hope this letter finds you well. I am sorry I have been delinquent writing you but finally got some of my computer problems worked out hence I was able to send you that letter from July 28th finally.  But before I could sit down and write you another letter I had to tear my bedroom apart. For a couple of weeks I’ve been bitten by what I thought were mosquitoes getting into the house but Monday I was bitten on my hands so badly that I search Google for information on bedbugs and sure enough when I tore all my bedding off and examined the mattress there were tell tales signs of an infestation. I freaked out because I had never had bed bugs before and have no clue how they came into the house but I know they hitchhike.  So the last two days I have been washing load after load of laundry with high heat the only effective way to kill them. So I took out all my drawers vacuumed them and placed them outside… bagged everything in my room and placed them in black bags outside so heat will kill them, completely vacuumed my mattress and head board and spray a bleach solution on everything.  I bought a steam cleaning machine that will be delivered in a few days but in the meanwhile I am borrowing Amy’s.  It’s a chore and a process. I will have to do this all again in a couple of weeks when any eggs I missed hatch. Although I think they are confined to my bedroom because they suck blood from the host, and they don’t do the dogs because they suck on bare skin, I am still going to steam clean the rest of the house and furniture to be safe.  So that is the ordeal I am going through now. Ugh.  At least I don’t have fleas or cockroaches. Since talking to you last I’ve been on this low carb diet that my doctor has me on.  Its killing me because you know how I like my sweets and breads but got to get my A1c levels back down and since I had to take Chuck in this week to his doctor because a chunk of his big toe came off from neuropathy I am being more serious about my diet. If it doesn’t heal they may have to amputate it. He already lost his baby toe. He’s extremely worried but he said that his home nurse who is dressing it says it seems to be healing. I think I told you Charles and Doug got themselves a new puppy some type of purebred terrier they brought home from Idaho. And of course his father is the Idaho champion for that breed of dog so he’s a little Aristocrat. Leave it to Charles not to just have a mutt… but I have to say he is the cutest, adorable thing.  Makes my schnauzers look like fat German peasants LOL… All the gang seem to be okay. When I get a little bit of my early retirement money in September I am taking them down to the vets and having all their teeth cleaned, cysts removed and generally checkup for the last time. It will probably be around a thousand dollars for the three of them but at least I am not putting them through school. Buddy and Daisy will be 11 next March and after that it will be downhill for  them health wise.  But I can’t think about that now. This December it will be 5 years since we put down Smokey and Priscilla. I hope it’s another 5 years before I have to do that again but I doubt it.  Still I want to outlive them so I know they are taken care of until the end.  Lucky will be my last dog and he’s such a sweet loving boy. I wonder if it’s because he knows somehow I saved him from the pound. We have been having some fierce summer storms blowing in the late afternoon.  Hot and sunny and then bam around 5 pm the wind kicks in and storm clouds gather and then we get a drenching rain but I am not complaining although my yard’s a mess the next day from all the broken twigs and branches coming off the Globe Willows.   Last week I went over to Mike Romero’s yard and cleaned up his messy parking strip by the retaining wall.  Trimmed his tree and bushes, which he has never done since moving into that place about 6 years ago. It was August 2009 that he moved out after living together since 1993.  But all his family is dead now like mine and he doesn’t communicate with his siblings any more than I do so even if he is a shit… he’s still family I suppose. He got my computers running after all so I guess that is why I did his yard work. I pulled so much out of his yard that I had to take my truck to the dump out west. Speaking of out west I suppose you heard that the prison relocation committee chose western SLC for the new prison. There was no doubt in my mind that site would be chosen.  The Republicans from Utah County and the south end of the valley are powerful enough to keep a prison out of their backyard. I guess it will be built 5 miles west of the airport out where Bare Ass Beach use to be before Kennecott closed access to the beach off.  The comment boards were lit up with Salt Lakes furious and bemoaning the decision.  I said then set all the prisoners free then no one will have to have a prison in their back yard. I think I am the only one that thinks the move, if the prison has to move, to west SLC is a positive thing.  I think my awareness is altered by your experiences. A prison has to be near a lot of supportive resources, like a hospital, access to lawyers and courts, a reliable source of employees, and convenient for volunteers to work with inmates, let alone convenient for family and friends to visit.   I know I’d see you every week if you were in Draper.  I worry if you did get sick what hospital would they send you to?  Oh well the land developers who run this state will do what they want to do with tax payer footing the bill. I am sure you also heard that Jackie Biskupski and Ralph Becker won the primary for Mayor and will be up against each other in November. Biskupski is dishing that Becker made a deal to have the prison relocate to SLC if they allowed SLC to raise taxes for municipal improvements. Becker is dishing on Biskupski that she accepted all these free billboard signs from Reagan Signs because they hate Becker for trying to limit the number of bill boards in the city.   Should get nice and nasty before it’s all over. On one hand Biskupski would make a nice statement on how liberal SLC is that we will elect a Lesbian raising a black kid but on the other hand there is something about her demeanor I just don’t like. I can’t put my finger on it. Maybe it’s that god awful frizzed out hair of hers LOL.   I really don’t know who I am voting for yet.. the one who will do more for the west side I suppose. Derek Kitchen and Nate Salazar won the 4th District primary beating out Babs DeLay who came in 4th out of 5 candidates. Kitchen got twice as many votes as Salazar. If Biskupski and Kitchen win in the fall which is likely then the mayor and two council men will be Gay… Everywhere you look huge four or five story massive condos and apartments are going up all over this.   Makes you wonder where all these people are going to come from to fill these $1500 a month two bedroom apartments. Certainly no school teachers, police officers, firemen, or other public sector workers.  That is for sure. Seth and Michael are off to New York for Michael’s intern at Cornell in Ithaca. They came over to watch a movie the day after seeing you. We watched Longtime Companion because they had never seen it. I had Bill Poore over too because he lived through the epidemic in NYC during the 1980’s. For Bill and I we had to fight back our feelings watching the film like reliving it but for Seth and Michael I think it was much more of a history lesson because they never had to experience their friends dying or having to live in fear you might be infected too.  That is how I and most of my friends spent the 1980’s and how I spent my 30’s a prisoner of AIDS.  After all this time the emotions that the film elicits are still raw and many men my age just won’t what the movie as being too painful... But it was really a great evening. Seth is coming back to SLC in October for about a month and I said he could use your old room downstairs if he needed to. The latest fuss is over the new movie about Stonewall that is being released soon. So many Trans-Rads seem to be bent out of shape over it just from viewing the trailer. I don't recall people's panties up in their asses about the movie Stonewall that came out in the 1995. It's just a movie but some are pissed that it doesn't show Sylvia Rivera and Marsha Johnson leading the charge... Well maybe it's because they didn't...  So there is a petition going around on FB  with 20,000 people signing it to boycott the movie. I tell people to read the police reports and not some revisionist history  that only serves to push a politically correct agenda.  I swear Trannies are on way too much hormone juice. Bill Poore wrote “Well this movie from what I could see from the trailer is a low budget film around a new kid in town, not historically correct but low budget...did everyone hear that . This is not the great movie about Stonewall.....and in the fall is a new movie called "Happy Birthday Miss Marsha" which is showing Sylvia and Miss Marsha leading the riots....It is supposed to be about Miss Marsha's birthday and they go to the Stonewall to celebrate....in fact it was my good friend Yvonne Ritters 18 birthday that night, she was there and arrested.” It plays better to the Millennials if two Trans are there leading the charge. Ruadhan O'Sheridan wrote “So, just wondering, who started the riot and what role did Sylvia and Miss Marsha play in all of this? I am reading all kinds of things around Facebook, but you seem to be the BEST source since you were there, Bill.” Bill Poore wrote: “I was on the streets that night but not in the Village....Sylvia was for sure there as was Miss Marsha but it was the street kids that started the riots. It was a riot, it just started.” Ruadhan O'Sheridan replied “Cool. Now I am not trying to cross examine you here or anything, but in a post yesterday or the day before to one of Ben's posts on this movie, and I may be wrong, I thought you said that Miss Marsha was not there at the beginning and that Sylvia left to get her and bring her back. Am I remembering that correctly or am I full of it? Basically, what I am trying to understand is how the trans folks are trying to take credit for something they should not here.” Bill Poore answered “ Well that is what Miss Marsha said about going to get Sylvia, Sylvia was a force of great activism. The riots lasted for three nights and the crowds got bigger each night, flyers were passed out, no one group can take credit, it was the community fighting rights,. I lived in the Village, there was no division like we have in SLC, we really were a family fighting the establishment. This cis gender thing is just another form of discrimination.” Ruadhan O'Sheridan wrote “This guy pretty much speaks for me about the whole CIS label. You might like what he has to say, too. I Am NOT Cisgendered.” Bill Poore wrote “I like this, again gay men were not part of the conversation to be called cis. I am not cis gender , I am Gay , a Fag, a queer, stop trying to rename me.” Greg Hardin chimed in “Can't wait to see it I'll try not, "to keep my panties up my ass!" Hugs!” I responded “The riot happened because of the mood of the crowd outside the bar not by anything inside it. The arrest of people as they were being placed in the paddy wagon ignited the frustration of the mostly young antiestablishment street kids. It was a full moon, it was hot and humid, lots of people up at night, Judy Garlands funeral had just happened. It was not a Trans riot. The angry mood of the crowd escalated and started throwing money and booing the police who sensed the anger and they retreated back into the bar. The crowd attacked the bar throwing trash cans, pulled up a parking meter as a battering ram threw rocks and trash and tried to burn down the place. The police called for backup and we're ready to shoot if the crowd broke into the bar. It was not a Trans riot it was a homosexual riot...the people there identified as homosexuals and not as Trans ... That came later. The riot was estimated at being nearly 400 people...nearly all angry young homosexual males who were itching for a fight...the next night straight men joined the fight but mostly to loot and fight cops... In no way were Rivera and Johnson the catalyst for the riot as the revisionist Trans would have you believe. They hate this movie because it doesn't support their co-opting Stonewall as their event instead of the catalyst of Gay Liberation...I am amazed at how many young people believe that Stonewall was a Trans event. Tell a lie enough and people will believe it. If anyone was a catalyst it may have been the dyke Fowler who hit one of the police while being arrested. Both Rivera and Johnson had severe mental health issues and depended on the charity of others. They were great at rabble rousing but not at organizing a revolution The mayor Lindsey was trying to clean up NYC for his next election and was putting pressure on the police to clear out the degenerates.” Bill Poore added “There were raids all the time in the Village area, the unique thing about Stonewall is it was protected because it was Mafia owned and the cops didn't bother it however that hot summer night they did.” Ruadhan O'Sheridan wrote “ Thank you both for this extra insight. I don't understand why trans people would try to co-opt this. It seems like there is more and more tension building up between LG people and T people.” Jim Fouratt  who participated in the Stonewall Rebellion and helped form Gay Liberation Front said this regarding the term cisgender, “I have been asked what i think of the use of the word"cis". OK I will bite the bullet' I view the word "cis" as hate language: used to divide people and use collective shame to empower a very small minority of people who cannot even agree on a definition of Trans. I don't use it and refuse to engage with politically correct people who are well intended and thoughtless. Once again a word birthed in the privileged world of academia.” I am, as I ever was, and shall ever be your friend  Ben

 

15 August 2015 Saturday

I went to the SAGE Summer BBQ at Liberty Park this evening taking Chuck Whyte with me. Kip Swan should be congratulated pulling it all together with the help of his partner Doug White. It seemed like a pretty good turn out and we were packed in at pavilion which was good because you got to talk to new people... There were lots of food especially store bought items like potato salad and pastas. I limited myself to no carbs so fixed a small plate and a piece of chicken and a piece of BBQ pork neither were very tasty but why complain? It’s a pot luck. I brought a sheet cake I made with ripe bananas I needed to use up. I had vanilla icing with little candy confetti sprinkles all over the top.  There were  tons of deserts, mostly store bought , but oddly they only had one table out to put them on so we had to stack them on top of each other.   The band was great, all male and they didn't over power the conversations.  Kip told me that the Lesbians were bitching about the all-male band and that few Lesbian names were being drawn for prizes. LOL. I’d say about  60 percent of the people there were Gay men and 39 percent Lesbians with 1 percent  Trans. In fact I only saw two Trans there but they may have been more. I'd say 300 people more or less turned out on a warm but pleasant summer evening.  I was surprised that Mike and Coco came. I sat with him and brought him some desserts since he said he had already eaten. He saw Lee Silva  there that I don’t think had seen in 20 years.  I visited with lots of people and told the men about Gay Men Aloud which for the most part I think found exciting. I wrote Jim Dabakis “Senator Dabakis your voice box is full from adoring constituents I am sure when I tried to return your call...  Heading to SAGE BBQ at 630 Liberty park NE.  Amy Barry told me that you had a hand in my being recognized by the Utah State History people... I love your posts...I wish others had your moral compass and sense of social justice.”

·         Jim Dabakis Ben, working the Historic Society was both the easiest thing--and also one of the best things i have done as a Senator. I may give you shit from time to time but i admire and love you for the life of dedicated and unheralded service to our community and our nation!.

·         Edgar Ben Williams You have never given me shit ... Just kept me honest about my convictions and to see other views .... Family can disagree and still be family.  As outsiders coming to Utah I think Utah is better off for us being here ...especially you

·         Jim Dabakis ...especially you. reminds me of the meek elders song about his loud mouth companion... in book of mormon--the play not the book.

·         Edgar Ben Williams Lol but have you read the book?

·         Jim Dabakis the reader’s digest version...

 

16 August 2015 Sunday

I had a late start this morning going to Gunnison. I wasn’t on the road until 11:30. I took the truck so I could use cruise control although it was very warm. I kept the windows rolled down because I don’t have A/C for the truck. It was an uneventful trip down and it was a beautiful August day and the corn was green and high and the grasses golden yellow. When I arrived at the prison about 1:15 there was a backup of about 7 cars which I thought was unusual and it took me about  15 minutes just to be processed so I could go park. Once inside the guards at the desk said that the visiting room was completely filled and people had to wait until some of the visitors times were up.  They told people it would be about 15 minutes so I waited and waited until nearly 2:30 before enough people had left so that I could be processed through. I should have known better.  Prisoners are fed at 11:00-12:00 and they don’t even let visitors in until 12:30 so if it was filled the earliest I was going to get to see Kyle would have been 2:30 and it was. But what could I do? Complain? Those people wanted their full time with their loved ones as much as I do and probably drove as far as I did or farther.  I think Kyle was pleasantly surprised to see me since by 2:30 I am usually leaving not coming. We talked away our two hours. He said his stomach was a little upset and I could tell because his breath was a little sour. But I still sat as close as I could to him until at one point a guard came over and said that I was sitting too close ha!. I was just leaning in so I could hear him better. He said he should be hearing soon about whether he gets into the Culinary school or not. He said he had a note from Curtis Price saying he was in his prayers. Otherwise we just visited in general. I asked if he was still getting the Q and he said he hadn’t gotten one since last June. I guess I better find out why. He said its best if I send him money on the 25th of each month that way he will have it by the end of the month when he has to buy his medicine, toiletries, and rent on his TV.  It was 4:30 when our time was up and I had to leave. I got home about 7 after leaving the house a little after 11 to get a drink for the trip and fill the tank up. I paid $2.49 a gallon with my 20 cent discount at Smith’s.  Dogs were hungry when I fed them for sure and I was a tired boy or rather old man. Yesterday Julian Bond, the Civil Rights activist died yesterday at the age of 75. He spoke here in SLC a couple of years ago…I think at the HRC fund raiser. My FB friend Ron Holmgren had been posting a lot about his memories of working building the stage at Woodstock in 1969.

·         Bill Poore-John, John, John, Marsha, Marsha, Marsha....My ‘69 was being a deck hand on a Coast Guard Cutter in Seward Alaska, being sent to NYC during Stonewall, Merv Griffin hitting on me at the Little Theatre next to Sardis then seeing his show, hanging with Alan Ginsberg in his West Village Apartment smoking pot while going to Coast Guard Radio School on Governors Island in NY Harbor. ‘69 for me was one wild hell of a year with so much happening.

 

17 August 2015 Monday

I got a letter in the mail from Kyle today. Dated from the 12th. Running Chuck Whyte around for morning Doctor appointment... I guess he got good news... I am slowly getting my house put back together... Trouble with emptying out junk drawers is you have to sift through it all... Good news about cleaning out my closet is I am downsizing and will be dropping a lot off to DI ... Need to majorly de- clutter... Watered this morning at 7 when it was nice and cool...my garden is brimming with summer tomatoes

 

18 August 2015 Tuesday

I wrote Kyle a long letter this morning and mailed it off but I forgot to copy and paste it to my journal. Oh well. Stupid Governor Herbert to placate the radical militants in his own party ordered state agencies to stop supporting Planned Parenthood. The group announced a press conference and rally  next Tuesday on the 25th at the state Capitol Building to tell the governor to stop playing politics with the health of thousands of Utahns and not just women.

·         Benedgar regarding Gay Men Aloud  Hey Kent are you free tomorrow for a Gay Men Aloud meeting? Charles is off tomorrow and wants us to discuss the first meetings, some organization structure etc. If not let us know when you are available Thanks!

·         Kent Great idea. I'm available in the morning until noon. I have an appt. at noon in Midvale and an appt at 3:00 at the U. Other than that my schedule is open.

·         Benedgar Shall we do a morning coffee meeting then Charles?

·         Kent Coffee works for me!

·         Benedgar 10 am to 11:30 am at SL Roasting Company tomorrow ... Kent will that give you enough time to get to Midvale?

·         Kent That'll be perfect as long as you don't let me get long-winded.

·         Benedgar  Everyone but me has a place to be at noon so we will stay on task... after we dish LOL

·         Charles Lynn  Sounds perfect. Thx for planning Ben Edgar. I just feel we better have a solid agenda/outline for the 1st meeting. One that looks and feels completely inclusive and group focused. Those types of outlines in my experience are the ones that are pre-planned the most. I know all 3 of us want this group to SOAR. We may have to carefully plan and strategize more so the first 6 months until the group helps us make it fly wonderfully. Very much looking forward to the planning and scheduling brainstorming meeting with you two gentlemen tomorrow. One day we'll all be able to say SL Roasting Co, is where it all began. Have a good evening both of you. CLF

·         Kent Thanks so much to you both! I share your enthusiasm. See you in the A.M.

 

19 August 2015 Wednesday

My steam cleaner came this afternoon when I saw the package on the porch but I didn’t have time to fool with it so its sitting in the box still. I am so stiff and sore from chopping up that patch of weeds yesterday.  I need to take some more Aleve. I think I am also getting arthritis is some of my finger joints because they are starting to get sore too. I met with Kent Scadlock and Charles Frost today at the Salt Lake Roasting Company on 4th South. Charles called for a meeting to plan for the opening meeting for Gay Men Aloud next month. We met at 10:00 and Kent had to leave to get to another meeting at 12 but we accomplished what  we set out to do, which was set an agenda for the first meeting. We decided to call the Triad Concept of checking in on each other Homo Teachers as a  play on the LDS practice of Home Teachers. Kent said he would take charge of coordinating that. Charles wanted me to introduce the facilitators and the purpose for the group and Charles will come up with opening and closing activities.  I brought both of them a goody bag of red tomatoes, little yellow pear  tomatoes, and some summer squash from my garden.  We also talked about what some Trannies had done to the iconic statues of some Gay men in Sheridan Square to protest what they stupidly think is the exclusion of Trans people of Color from the motion picture about Stonewall. “Trans Vandals Deface the Gay “Stonewall Monument” with Insane Blackface to protest a Movie they Have Not Seen” was the top story of the day for sure.

·         Chuck Whyte Vandalism is a crime and these idiotic people need to suffer the consequences of their behavior. I would translate this into their language but I choose to clean my toilet rather than deal with their crap.........btw when I poured in my toilet cleaner it went cis cis cis

·         Roland Ron Holmgren This reminds me of the violence and destruction that goes on in Ferguston. Let's burn and loot in protest. It's a damn film. I have read that transsexuals are upset because they aren't Included. News flash. In the sixties transsexuals were rare. The were either drag queens or transvestites. This wasn't a protest. It was an act of destruction, a crime, plain and simple.

·         Andy Dalrymple Chuck, too funny.

·         Bill Poore I knew both those guys, that statue was not done for Stonewall. It was done like in 1980 as a piece of art... The Lesbian couple is behind them. Jimmy Stott and David Boyce. I was with them the day they went to have plaster put all over them....this is really sad, these Gender Queers can go fuck themselves and their cause. The statues were not meant to commemorate Stonewall at all.

·          Michael Sanders Yes, who said this was monument to Stonewall? When did that happen? I've never heard that before and I lived a block away.

·         Bill Poore Notice they didn't black face the lesbian couple behind them......this just shows the hate the gender queers have for gay white men....they should just start their own movement and get out of the LGBT.

·         David Andreason I'm pretty sure Marsha P. Johnson, Sylvia Rivera, and many other prominent T figures living during the Stonewall era would find this disgusting. I think it's somewhat generational--it's not just the t's, but the lgb's as well whom I so often see trying to take credit for things they didn't have a damn thing to do with. This is disgraceful.

·         Michael Sanders I am fan of radical activism, I always have been. I've certainly done my share of radical activism. I love that these kids are out making a ruckus, trying to make a difference in the world for their community. I may not always agree with their point of view completely but they are getting up off of their computer chairs and taking it to the streets, and not just organizing cocktail receptions, banquets, endless silent auctions, photo opportunities and social media slacktivism. I think Miss Marsha and Sylvia might approve of this spirit of radical activism, after all they founded Street Transvestite Action Revolutionaries not RuPauls' Drag Race.

·         Brent V. Marrott I don't know whether they would approve or not, but I am with Michael on radical activism. Here in the Holy Land too many sit back on the lazy asses and let the rest do the work. Larry Kramer did a world of good by his activism. But too many are afraid of what their family, friends, and religious organizations will think. Stand up for what you believe in. Don't sit there with your thumb up your ass when you disagree. Silence is the sign of a coward and implies you agree.

·         Bill Poore Not when they deface members of our community. I knew Jimmy and David really well, this makes me sad, very sad and I don't want anything to do with their activism. Fuck them.

·         David Andreason I'm not going to argue this. As one heavily involved with LGBT as well as environmental activism for years, I know a thing or two about radical activism and have participated in more arrestable actions than I could possibly remember. Radical works unless it's completely misdirected. Gays and trans back then were not polarized the way trans today make it sound--they very much knew, liked, and looked out for each other. I'm familiar with S.T.A.R. and the reasons it was founded. I guarantee it wasn't to trash and disrespect their own. That said, not all trans can or should be dumped into the camp of those that did this, but today's trans and their forebearers have almost nothing in common. It was a shitty thing to do. I agree, Bill--fuck 'em.  For those who want to spend a little time peering into this Stonewall world and learn something, I found this to be an excellent interview/documentary featuring Marsha P. Johnson and others. https://youtu.be/Bo0nYv9QIj4 Pay it No Mind: The Life and Times of Marsha P. Johnson  

·         Michael Sanders I'm curious as to the permanent nature of this act. Was it clothing and water based paint and easily removed, therefore just a statement, or something more damaging in a permanent way. I don't condone permanent de-facing of a work of art of any kind.  and yes David I agree that the L. the G, the B the Q. and T all need to support each other and not work against each other.

·         Bill Poore Michael you probably knew Jimmy (statue on the left) daytime bar tender at 9th Circle , David a regular customer.; Jimmy on the right

·         Michael Sanders the 9th circle I worked ..... I mean i went there at night

·         Edgar Ben Williams The point of this is if heterosexuals defaced these icons we would be outraged. Trans do not get a free pass when they attack Gay men. These statues do not represent the Stonewall uprising they represent Gay Liberation and the freedom of Gay people to freely associate with one another... These statues were moved here if you read the article because they were being defaced and attacked where they were first displayed... Radical activism is fine if one is being attacked. No one is attacking the Trans except in their own minds and why is their anger directed at Gay Men? Why are they attacking a section of the so called LGBT community if we are a community? This is disgusting and I don't see how anyone can try to justify what was done to the statue of two Gay Men which are icons... Read my lambda lore column this issue to know how pathetic and disingenuous it is for the Trans community to take credit for Stonewall. Rivera and Johnson started STAR that is true...it lasted 2 years...Gays and Lesbians started Gay Liberation Front and GAA the corner stone of the Gay Civil Rights movement... when Gay Liberation Front came to SLC in Oct 1969 it was from the momentum built by Gay and Lesbians not Trans from STAR... Where is the outrage Michael and Brent on the attack on Gay men? Why isn't this a hate crime and another form of Gay bashing?

·         Michael Sanders I guess because I've always considered Transgender individuals as a part of my own family. When your brother punches you it's a family squabble. When a stranger punches your brother it's a crime. When we stop posturing for top dog position, equality might come easier. After all if we don't promote equality from within, why would we expect it to happen from outside our ranks. Edgar Ben Williams When the Trans are doing all the punching its gets tiresome... When have Gay men had ever done to one of the Trans icons what they did to ours... Bullying even members of your own family is bullying... And again I ask why this anger at specifically Gay men and all this check your privilege ask my pronouns, gender is whatever we say it is, you are transphobic if you object to being called a cis... And now if you don't accept our version of stonewall we will trash your culture... No one is posturing for top position that I know of but for someone like me who takes history seriously I know the first thing you do to disenfranchise a people is to take away their history and co-op it as your own... Before Stonewall there were less than 50 homosexual organization in America after Stonewall within 5 years there were almost that many here in Utah! Top dog or not to minimize that it was the mostly white gay boys that organized Gay Liberation is racist and homophobic on its own ... Stonewall first and foremost was about sexual orientation NOT gender identity... The Gay movement was always about love and physical attraction... That is why we fought, died, and ultimately won... Because it was about love not gender dysphoria.

·         Bill Poore I need to read your Q article

·         David Andreason LOL I need a drink. Great points all.

·         Michael Sanders Now there is where we find common ground David! Cheers and good night. Michael Sanders UPDATE: 8/18/2015: "The statues have been restored to their original state." As I suspected, this was not permanent damage, but more of a radical activist statement. And by two cis-gender women, not trans-gendered. And the plot thickens further... the message I'm getting is more about race than gender identity.

·         Bill Poore fuck cis gender and the road in came in on.....I am one gay man that will not stand being called Cis anything. Michael did you know John the manager of the Circle, Tree down Stairs, one of the regulars that you probably did business with Jerry Arrow? I knew the entire staff at the Circle really well.

·          Michael Sanders No Bill, I'd go there occasionally. My hang outs were Mudd, Pyramid and the other punk clubs and of course always the monster and la esquelita haha

·          19 August 2015  GMA Minutes-In attendance Charles Frost, Kent Scadlock, Ben Williams Business- Planning and Agenda setting for first meeting of GMA on 21 September 21 Triad Concept renamed Homo Teachers as a service component of GMA for people who need contacting for various reasons. Kent Scadlock volunteered to coordinate the project and introduce the concept at the Sept. 21 meeting -Agreed that the meetings needed a continuity closure and a group circle embrace or hug was adopted as bonding but non-threatening. -Agreed that an opening and closing “check in” and take away was needed as an ice braker and a wrap up. Charles Frost agreed to come up with some quick and interesting questions to be answered as people introduce themselves-Name Tags was discussed without a firm resolution but for now a simple “please remind me of your name again” will suffice. -Agreed that the term “facilitators”, as the name of any leader or organizer, would be used instead of directors, executors, Bishops, and founding facilitators be introduced at the first meeting as well as explaining the purpose of GMA. - Agreed that the group is simply to be referred to as Gay Men Aloud [GMA] without additional appellations such as support, organization, association, or group &etc.  -Agreed that GMA will not have a governing board, nor bylaws, nor any incorporation status beyond simply being an all-volunteer fellowship. -Some agreed on purposes of  GMA is to build community, to belong to a tribe of likeminded individuals, to be vibrant and relevant in our connected communities, to allow men to have a voice and not be excluded from conversations, to have a space for Gay men to discuss issues of concern to just men. -Agenda for September 21, 2015  6:30- 8:00 pm Charles Frost-Welcoming Introductions of members with check-ins facilitated by Charles Frost, approx. 10 minutes 6:30-6:40- Ben Williams- Introduce Facilitators, the purpose of the group, and donation box by Ben Williams approx. 15 minutes 6:40-6:55 -Kent Scadlock Introduce Homo Teachers service concept approx. 15 minutes 6:55-7:10-Charles Frost- Soliciting ideas from members and lead main discussion on what people want from GMA 7:10- 7:40 -Charles Frost- Take Away and group hug closure 7:40-7:45 Refreshments and visiting 7:45-8:00

 

20 August 2015 Thursday

I went back to sleep when Coco came and slept until 10 a.m. which is the latest  I’ve slept in for a long time. I guess I needed to catch up. I went grocery shopping this morning about  10:30 and the air is already hazy from smoke drifting in from California. Can’t even see the hill above Beck Street with is only about 3 miles away.   Its already warm so it’s sure to be another warm one. I had Bill Poore over for dinner to be entertained by his New York stories. I had bought a whole chicken this morning so I chopped it up into parts, some went into a broth and I made Cajun Chicken Noodle soup... the rest I cooked up as Southern fried chicken. It’s been ages since I fried chicken. In my younger days I would have made milk gravy out of the drippings to have over biscuits and mashed potatoes. These day I steamed some cauliflower and made a cheese sauce for it, then steamed some had fresh asparagus, fixed a nice dinner salad with tomatoes from the garden and for desert we had cantaloupe chunks. Delicious but I miss my biscuits and gravy... Sent  jars of soup home with Bill... Suns going down earlier now we are 2/3 into Summer. J Seth Anderson called me from Ithaca, New York. I think they landed in Faerie Land. They are loving their enchanted summer. He called to ask for some advice and to give me a heads up. It will be interesting to know how this will all plays out. I know this sounds cryptic but its Seth's story to share when he's ready not mine. He's smart and savvy and people in the Utah State legislature are ignorant yet cunning. Jim Dabakis is leagues ahead of any of those myopic Republicans there. Seth will outlast any dissention and that is what is fabulous about being an academic historian like Seth. He will get the last word in...LOL.  Seth Anderson messengered me on FB this afternoon saying, “Hey there. Are you home and free to talk on the phone.... I have some Utah/gay/history stuff to run by you. In short, I find myself in the middle of a potentially big scandal. lol And you're sort of involved, as a person of interest. lol nothing bad, kinda hilarious actually. But I'd like your feedback. I wrote back, “Yes I am home and free to talk... I slept in this morning so I am kind of being lazy” Shortly after that he called me about 1 pm from Ithaca, New York. I think they landed in Faerie Land from the sounds of their adventures. They love their enchanted summer. He called  me, however, to ask for some advice and to give me a heads up. Evidently he was asked to present a paper at a state history conference and he was going to speak on Queer Nation. Evidently some asshat who sits on the legislative committee that funds State History objected to Seth’s presentation calling Queer Nation a “militant group” and if he wasn’t pulled or changed his topic this asshat was going to bring it up with the governor.  Seth’s history department academics at the U of U said they would boycott the conference if Seth was removed.  He was worried about how this might affect my award from the state if they are pulling Gay History.  Seth said he refused to change the title of his talk to LGBT Nation which I said good for you. Its historically inaccurate to call events that happened before the year  2000 LGBT anything.  I told Seth that the state legislators are more militant than Queer Nation ever was. The legislators are the ones who care guns, want to have open carry laws,  fight the federal government, support criminal acts like what county commissioners do in Southern Utah.  Anyway I told him to contact Jim Dabakis because he would be able to get to the bottom of this and find out what this guy’s beef is.  It will be interesting to know how this will all plays out. I know this sounds cryptic but its Seth's story to share when he's ready not mine. He's smart and savvy and people in the Utah State legislature are ignorant yet cunning. Jim Dabakis is leagues ahead of any of those myopic Republicans there. Seth will outlast any dissention and that is what is fabulous about being an academic historian like Seth. He will get the last word in...LOL I wrote Jim- Hello Senator... Seth Anderson is going to be getting a hold of you over some flack a legislator on the State History Committee is giving him over a paper Seth is presenting on Queer Nation at the State History Conference. This person is calling Queer Nation a "militant" group and wants Seth pulled from the conference although Seth's history department supports him.  Queer Nation was obnoxious but hardly militant...No one had weapons or guns or destroyed property.  Hell the state legislature is more militant with their open carry laws and support of criminal activities against federal lands ha!  Queer Nation was an in your face we are not going to be silent against abusive behavior anymore type of group.  They protested more than anything and if that is militant than someone needs to look at a dictionary. Queer Nation was a result of frustration by young Gay folks over their right to exist being ignored and formed during the worse of the AIDS crisis. Seth will tell you the details. I said you would be able to find out who is objecting and pour oil over troubled waters. But I said if they insist on yanking him from the conference which would have at the most 15 people in his session, he should make it go public by nationally. The Tribune, Huntington Post, the Advocate would have a field day with this especially as well-known Seth is now as Utah's first Gay married couple and Michael Ferguson case against Conversion therapy... Anyway love you... don't lose sleep over the prison relocation... it once was located in Sugar House  for nearly a 100 years LOL... Hope your critters are all well and that you and Steve are well.

·         Jim-Which legislator? And, who gives a shit if they were militants or commies or McCartheyites. His story is history!

·         Me- He doesn't know who is making the ruckus ... The people planning the conference who had him listed were the ones that told Seth that a legislator on the committee that over sees funding for state history objected... I am not sure whether he objected to the term Queer Or the topic himself... I told Seth to contact you so he can explain the tempest himself ... "History isn't very useful unless it's faith promoting" said Boyd K Packer lol...  I always thought that if Utah doesn't want its image tarnished then they need to stop doing stupid things smile emoticon

·         Jim I stand ready, as ever! LOL! At Harmons yesterday I met a most pleasant young man who volunteers regularly for the state history department photo department. he has sifted 50 years of prisoner photos together with those charged with 'the crime against nature'. Then looked up the court files...has cd's full of material. Thought you should meet him...

·          Me- I would love to meet him... I spent a summer looking up prison files on men but did not know how to access the picture file although I knew they were there. ..I’d love to see the picture of the young man from Canada who came to Utah looking for work and was railroaded primarily because they thought he was a member of the IWW.

·          Jim Very nice young man too

·          Me- Soooo you have contact info for him or are you just a tease

·         Jim Keep pestering my. I have it. Somewhere

 

21 August 2015 Friday

I learned a new word today Schadenfreude. It means taking pleasure from someone else’s misfortune.  The Republicans need to be known as the Schadenfreude Party but when they crash and burn in 2016 we Democrats must try not to be too Schadenfreude to them... But it will very hard... Very hard indeed... Republicans give me the creeps... Maybe it's just me but when someone says they would vote for a Republican I find that really creepy... One of my former students, Chelsea, the sister of Weston Clark posted a class picture from 5th grade when I taught at Orchard in 1992-1993...I remember each and every one of these kids and their cute little personalities... All grown up now many with families of their own...  Kyle Daniels wanted to come over after his school got out. He’s teaching at Copperton High School and I guess they started back on Wednesday. Davis won’t start until Monday. He came over about 3:30 and we fucked until he had to leave at 4:30. He didn’t even get to take a shower to get the sex off of him. I guess he and Alan have a football game they have to get to.  He puts the rose back in my cheeks for sure.

·         Weston Clark-Hey Ben, I don't know if you can see the comments from former students on that picture I tagged of you the other day so I wanted to send them to you. You are a loved teacher!

·         Thanks I did see it and thought how cool to be remember as a fun teacher .... That class was fun any way...shocking to see my kids all grown up with kids of their own...in my mind they are always 4th, 5th, and 6th graders and I bet they remember me as skinnier and with much more hair and a beard that was not gray... Tell you sister thanks for posting it...

·         Jen Crook Baron I loved Mr Williams!!

·         Chelsea Astle he just retired last year:-(

·         Minda Taylor He still remembered me as the girl who cried every time she got in front of the class

·         Markie Topham This was such a long time ago! I looked goofy.

·         Tammy Wright Brown Oh wow! I still remember all these people! He was a great teacher!

·         Tim Jones WOW old school

 

22 August 2015 Saturday

Except going to Murray Farmers Market I haven't done a bloody thing all day... Well did go walking Cash with Charles Lynn Frost and I came home and walked Daisy but that's about it... Daisy could not believe it... She was so happy that she was making little doggy happy noises... Before you feel bad for her she does have a quarter of an acre yard with plenty of trees and a doggy door to come go as she pleases... OMG my ancestral roots and Joseph Smith Jr are the same!  Joseph Smith’s paternal emigrant ancestor was Robert Smith (1626-1693) who arrived in Boston, Massachusetts Bay Colony in 1638 at the age of 12. He came without parents and nothing is known of this person’s heritage. Mormon historians always thought he was English, however DNA comparisons prepared by BYU geneticist Ugo A. Perego show that Smith’s ancestors were Irish and not English. Not only Irish but MY IRISH! Certain Genetic markers in the DNA samples taken from the descendants of Joseph Smith Sr confirms the family originated in northwest Ireland from a fifth century Irish warlord named Niall of the Nine Hostages. Niall was the founder of an Irish dynasty of kings that lasted about five centuries and also my direct ancestor. So both Joseph Smith and I originated in the same scrotum! I will never be able to live that down.

·         Amy Barry The peaches are so yummy right now. They just melt in your mouth.

·         Bill Poore Daisy knows that there is nothing like an actual doggie walk.

·         Roland Ron Holmgren And Lucky?

·         Edgar Ben Williams I can't have much fruit right now...darn... And I took Lucky for a walk around the block...then I took Buddy and half way down the street he starts jumping up at me wanting to go back home... He has never liked to go on walks...but Daisy was so excited again so I took her out... Buddy barks the whole time from the house... He's a brat

·          Amy Barry Sorry to hear you are on a fruit diet. It is understandable, but oh I would go nuts. I just love it when things come in season

·         Charles Lynn Frost The Farmers Mkt was fun. I bought a ton of stuff, and you only got to drool over the sugary fruits. It will be worth it, trust me. Cash loved having you take him for a walk too.

 

23 August 2015 Sunday

I worked 3 hours in the back yard and filled a huge trash can full of yard waste... I finally cleaned out the  flower bed on the south side of the house that was long overdue...I have a pink rose bush there I planted 19 years ago. It's beautiful when I trim it right... August tomato harvest is exploding in the front yard... I deserve a good soaking... The hot tub is calling me. I never realized what a full time job it almost is to keep the yard up. Stayed up way late almost until 2 am. My sleep routine is way off.

·         Richard P. Butler Can I come and get some tomatoes? We hardly had any.

·         Edgar Ben Williams Come and get them There's still plenty

·         Richard P. Butler After work today I can come over. About 1:00-1:30 OK

·         Edgar Ben Williams Okie dokie I will be home

 

24 August 2015 Monday

Well, today is the first time in 28 years I am not anxious and hoping everything is ready to greet a new crop of kiddies.. First day of school and I am still in bed. Summer vacation would have been over for me last week as I would have been in setting up my classroom... In many ways this year would have been easier than last year as I had to move rooms and had to redo bulletin boards and put everything away as well as redo all my 5th grade lessons plans that I got rid of when they moved me to 6th grade. Old habits are hard to suppress in the subconscious. I had the back to school dreams...taking students on field trips that go awry, cleaning out cupboards of old school projects and forgetting to put my pants on lol... Every teacher I ever knew said they had weird dreams usually nightmares before school started even though they loved the profession. Well no more first day of school for me... That chapter is over... Still one of my former student from 22 years ago posted a class picture from Orchard...and some of the comments from my other students made my old heart glad... Especially the first one "I love Mr Williams"... Nice to be part of so many children's childhood memories. Old time friend Richard came over today to visit and retrieve some tomatoes. I had no idea that he was in the hospital because FB chose not to make his posting a priority to me. He had a blood clot  hit his lungs. Grateful that he much better if only at 75 percent. Quite warm today but I didn't have to teach in a hot stuffy over crowded non air conditioned classroom for the first time in 28 years. Sad news that ISIS has executed over 30 Gay men in the Middle East mostly by throwing them off buildings to their deaths.

·         Bill Poore On the same page first time in ten years I didn't teach Fall semester at the U. Hung out in a professor s office for a while. Miss the U but not teaching

·         Douglas Wortham Enjoy, enjoy, Ben! You deserve it!

·         Kent Scadlock I have a quick question for the two of you. I've been tinkering around on Instagram and we have a couple of naming options available for Gay Men Aloud. Would you prefer @utah_gay_men_aloud or @gay_men_aloud? We have the same name options if we want to setup a Twitter account. I will setup both accounts with a link to our Facebook page. Which do you prefer?

·         Charles Lynn Frost Gay Men Aloud is my preference. If we get big and successful enough we can consider franchising. JK. Thanks for researching and recommending Kent. Lots of buzz about the group. MANY gay men are talking to me about it.  

·         Me- I defer to both of you since I don't twitter smile emoticon

·         Dear Kyle,  I received your letter today from August 20. That is pretty quick I must say. I am thrilled for all the good news you had since I saw you last.  I know you must be excited as all get out to be going to school again and culinary school at that.  Today must have been your orientation day and so much to learn.  I wonder what they will start you with? Perhaps name of tools and cooking terms.  I remember the show about Julia Child that she chopped up a whole bag of onions until mastered the technique… keep the blades down and fingers tucked in ha! A dull knife will cut you more than a sharp one.  I still have a Henkel chef knife I bought back in 1982 that I had my initials engraved on when I worked as a cook back then. I think I paid $30 for it back then, which I thought was a fortune but I see now they go for $130 and mine even has a wooden handle not plastic.  It just needs being taken in and having it professionally sharpened. Back then if you were a real cook you brought to work a tool box with your own knives and equipment.  I use to be a fine cook but have gotten lazy in my old age but still know a few tricks. I suspect by the time you get this letter you will have a whole week under your belt. Cooking can be hard on your feet because you are standing the whole time. Never trust a cook who smokes because they will always over salt everything.  I bought a whole chicken the other day because they were on sale and I am glad I know how to debone a chicken. I had Bill Poore over and I fried it up. I don’t know when the last time I’ve fried a chicken.           I am glad your text book finally arrived. I mailed it out like at the end of July.  I surely hope it helps you get that biology class over and done with. That will be another thing you can check off I suppose. Get an A on your test.        Pretty sure the prison relocation is a done deal but I bet its four years before anyone is transferred to it. The opponents have pretty well given up unless someone sues over wetland. I think I was the lone voice crying in the wilderness saying that it needs to be in west SLC.           I know you have been hoping to get in with your friends Todd and Jeff for a very long time. I hope the transfer happens soon. What a different a year makes when about this time you were transferred out of Gunnison to Draper to Manila and then back to Draper and then finally back home again.  That was a difficult time for you and am glad positives things seem to be happening to you now.  It’s been really hot today 97 in SLC and it’s the first day of school here in SLC and Davis School District.  First time in a very long time I haven’t had to deal with the first day of school chaos and suffer so intensely in non-air conditioned classrooms.  Last week the heat wasn’t all that bad but the valley was very hazy from smoke pouring in from the west coast. Could not even see the gravel pit on Beck Street from the house. Everyone was moaning and groaning but I thought hell I grew up with this air in California as a kid.  It didn’t kill me then I suppose it won’t kill me now. I am sure it still was an indoor recess the first day back.  I truly do not miss it at all although I still have the back to school dreams. How could I not,  having been conditioned to them for 28 years. Weston Clark’s younger sister posted a class picture on FB of her in my 5th grade class from back in 1993.  She tagged me in it so I got to see the comments of my former students. The very first one said, “I love Mr. Williams” and they all seemed to have fond memories of their 5th grade even though it was 22 years ago. I looked at the FB pages of some of them and saw most of them are married with families of their own.  Seems strange because in my mind they will always be 10 years old not 32 years old. Still it made my heart glad that the memories they had of me were good ones. I tried.        My garden is busting out in tomatoes and am giving them out left and right.  I planted too many of the little yellow pear tomatoes. They are a pain to pick and I don’t even like them that well. But if you buy them in the store just a big handful of them are like $5.  They are labor intensive for sure. Charles and I went to the Murray Farmers Market  last Saturday morning and the place was brimming with peaches and squash. I can’t eat a lot of fruit right now as I am trying to get my blood sugars lowered by cutting out carbs. The only way I like a peach anyway is in a fresh peach cobbler ha!       Been busy working in the yard,  this time cleaning up the backyard. Getting rid of piles of old leaves and cleaning out flower beds.  About the time I get it all done the leaves will fall. Ha!  But now I have time to work a little here, a little there. Not much news to report. Bill Poore wants to go to Gunnison to look in the cemetery next to the prison down there so expect a visit next Sunday. I will be there by 12:30 so hopefully I will not have to sit and wait to see your happy face. Well the latest brouhaha between Gay men and Trannies, over their perceived resentment of “white washing” the Stonewall Rebellion is that some Transgender  “activists” painted the faces of the famous statues of two Gay men in Sheridan Square black and brown and dressed them in wigs and bras. They were protesting the movie Stonewall, a film that has not even been released yet.  They didn’t disfigure the statues of the two Lesbians only the Gay men. Here are some comments from Gay men in SLC. Bill Poore Those statues were not done for Stonewall.  They were done to represent Gay Liberation.  It was done like in 1980 as a piece of art... I knew both those guys. Jimmy Stot and David Boyce. I was with them the day they went to have plaster put all over them.... The Lesbian couple is behind them. This is really sad, these Gender Queers can go fuck themselves and their cause. The statues were not meant to commemorate Stonewall at all. Notice they didn't black face the lesbian couple behind them......this just shows the hate the gender queers have for gay white men....they should just start their own movement and get out of the LGBT. David Andreason I'm pretty sure Marsha P. Johnson, Sylvia Rivera, and many other prominent T figures living during the Stonewall era would find this disgusting. I think it's somewhat generational--it's not just the t's, but the lgb's as well whom I so often see trying to take credit for things they didn't have a damn thing to do with. This is disgraceful. Michael Sanders I am fan of radical activism, I always have been. I've certainly done my share of radical activism. I love that these kids are out making a ruckus, trying to make a difference in the world for their community. I may not always agree with their point of view completely but they are getting up off of their computer chairs and taking it to the streets, and not just organizing cocktail receptions, banquets, endless silent auctions, photo opportunities and social media slacktivism. I think Miss Marsha and Sylvia might approve of this spirit of radical activism, after all they founded Street Transvestite Action Revolutionaries not RuPauls' Drag Race. Brent V. Marrott I don't know whether they would approve or not, but I am with Michael on radical activism. Here in the Holy Land too many sit back on the lazy asses and let the rest do the work. Larry Kramer did a world of good by his activism. But too many are afraid of what their family, friends, and religious organizations will think. Stand up for what you believe in. Don't sit there with your thumb up your ass when you disagree. Silence is the sign of a coward and implies you agree. Bill Poore Not when they deface members of our community. I knew Jimmy and David really well, this makes me sad, very sad and I don't want anything to do with their activism. Fuck them. David Andreason I'm not going to argue this. As one heavily involved with LGBT as well as environmental activism for years, I know a thing or two about radical activism and have participated in more arrestable actions than I could possibly remember. Radical works unless it's completely misdirected. Gays and trans back then were not polarized the way trans today make it sound--they very much knew, liked, and looked out for each other. I'm familiar with S.T.A.R. and the reasons it was founded. I guarantee it wasn't to trash and disrespect their own. That said, not all trans can or should be dumped into the camp of those that did this, but today's trans and their forebearers have almost nothing in common. It was a shitty thing to do. I agree, Bill--fuck 'em. Michael Sanders I'm curious as to the permanent nature of this act. Was it clothing and water based paint and easily removed, therefore just a statement, or something more damaging in a permanent way. I don't condone permanent de-facing of a work of art of any kind. and yes David I agree that the L. the G, the B the Q. and T all need to support each other and not work against each other. Bill Poore Michael you probably knew Jimmy ( statue on the left) daytime bar tender at 9 th Circle , David a regular customer.  Jimmy on the right Edgar Ben Williams The point of this is if heterosexuals would have defaced these icons we would be outraged. Trans do not get a free pass when they attack Gay men. These statues do not represent the Stonewall uprising they represent Gay Liberation and the freedom of Gay people to freely associate with one another... These statues were moved here if you read the article because they were being defaced and attacked where they were first displayed... Radical activism is fine if one is being attacked. No one is attacking the Trans except in their own minds and why is their anger directed at Gay Men? Why are they attacking a section of the so called LGBT community if we are a community? This is disgusting and I don't see how anyone can try to justify what was done to the statue of two Gay Men which are icons... Read my lambda lore column this issue to know how pathetic and disingenuous it is for the Trans community to take credit for Stonewall. Rivera and Johnson started STAR that is true...it lasted 2 years...Gays and Lesbians started the Gay Liberation Front and the Gay Activists Alliance- the corner stone organizations of the Gay Civil Rights movement... when Gay Liberation Front came to SLC in Oct 1969 it was from the momentum built by Gay and Lesbians not Trans from STAR... Where is the outrage Michael and Brent on the attack on Gay men? Why isn't this a hate crime and another form of Gay bashing? Michael Sanders I guess because I've always considered Transgender individuals as a part of my own family. When your brother punches you it's a family squabble. When a stranger punches your brother it's a crime. When we stop posturing for top dog position, equality might come easier. After all if we don't promote equality from within, why would we expect it to happen from outside our ranks. Edgar Ben Williams When the Trans are doing all the punching its gets tiresome... When have Gay men ever done to one of the Trans icons what they did to ours... Bullying even members of your own family is bullying... And again I ask why this anger at specifically Gay men and all this “check your privilege”,  “ask my pronouns,”,  “gender is whatever we say it is”, “you are transphobic if you object to being called a cis”... And now if you don't accept our version of stonewall we will trash your culture... No one is posturing for top position that I know of but for someone like me who takes history seriously I know the first thing you do to disenfranchise a people is to take away their history and co-op it as your own... Before Stonewall there were less than 50 homosexual organizations in America and after Stonewall within 5 years there were almost that many here in Utah! Top dog or not …to minimize that it was mostly white gay boys that organized Gay Liberation- is racist and homophobic on its own ... Stonewall first and foremost was about sexual orientation NOT gender identity... The Gay movement was always about love and physical attraction... That is why we fought, died, and ultimately won... Because it was about love not gender dysphoria. Bill Poore fuck cis gender and the road it came in on.....I am one gay man that will not stand being called Cis anything. Michael did you know John the manager of the Circle, Tree down Stairs, one of the regulars that you probably did business with- Jerry Arrow? I knew the entire staff at the Circle really well.  Michael Sanders No Bill, I'd go there occasionally. My hang outs were Mudd, Pyramid and the other punk clubs and of course always the monster and la esquelita haha Charles Lynn Frost  An interesting take from Towleroad, The comments are most telling of opinions across the county and very intergenerational. Many Gay men are getting fed up. “Activists Paint Famous NYC 'Gay Liberation' Sculptures Brown to Protest...” Edgar Ben Williams Wow I read for a half an hour and still the comments went on and on! Most engaged with the only Trans who was posting... When she disagreed but couldn't refute, she would resort to name calling... Of all of the comments I found this one the most relevant "Dear Marti386, I STRONGLY disagree. Furthermore, no one is taking anything away from you, and you certainly do not need to define my experience and journey as a Gay man; that's my purview, alone. Bully for you that you have found your voice as a Trans person! I encourage everyone to find their voices, but what I have found is that beyond protecting "queer" status in a heterocentric world, I really do not have any significant connection with the Trans culture. I'm not transitioning from one gender to another--so I cannot relate on that MAJOR level--and to claim I can be disingenuous.. That experience radically shapes one's viewpoint on the world--and as Gay man, it's NOT my experience nor my journey. My journey as Gay man and all the men I know is VERY different. Lastly, just because Gay men do not find Trans culture interesting nor have any desire to connect with Trans culture does not make us transphobic (and vice-versa). I respect that you have a right to exist, to thrive and most importantly to define your journey of self-discovery, on your terms. You're going to need to accept that not everyone in the world is fascinated with your journey in the way you might be. I truly wish the Trans community well on their path to collective self-discovery, but I really don't need, nor want the Trans community imposing their viewpoint on my journey as Gay man." What I really liked about this fellows comment was finding ones voice. I think that is what our new group Gay Men Aloud is all about...Gay men finding their voices. Well I will close now. For now all’s quiet on the Western Front. I am, as I ever was, and shall ever be Your Friend Ben

 

25 August 2015 Tuesday

Huge rally up at the state capitol to protest Governor Herbert cutting off state funds to Planned Parenthood to appease the Tea Party nuts. Seth Anderson messengered me saying that he will be able to give his talk at the State History Conference He wrote-“ “I won!” The legislature backed down! I get to keep the original title and present. It is apparently the FIRST paper about the gay and lesbian community of Utah to be presented at this conference AND I will get to be there when you get your award. I bitch slapped the legislature and I won!

·         Me -Your’e Queer You're Here ...they better get used to it... I thrilled for you.  Not that they will attend but maybe they might learn that even with Queer Nations actions...We are a Gentle Angry people singing for our lives... Holly Near

·         Seth- I kinda wish they banned me lol. The entire history department at the U was ready to boycott.

·         Me-Who notified you that you were cleared to present your paper as  is?

·         Seth-The head of state history. He and I and my advisor had 2 or 3 conference calls. It was crazy

·         Me- Jim Dabakis called me late last night just as I was about to go to sleep to tell me what had happened between Lt. Gov Cox and him. Evidently this had nothing to do with the state legislature but came out of the executive branch. Julie Fisher is the executive director of Utah's department of Heritage and Arts and one of agency she is over is Utah's State History. she had been a legislator from the Fruits Heights area but resigned when Herbert appointed her to this position in 2011... She has no experience that qualified her for this position other than being a political hack that was willing to do Herbert's bidding of downsizing the department over which she controls. She's not,  that I can tell, a tea party crazy but she might be...she is a right wing crazy in her own right...she sponsored the bill to make Ogden’s colt rifle manufactured the state weapon and a bill reaffirming Utah's rights under the 10th amendment. As department director she was involved in the firing of those to state archaeologists that sought to preserve Indian artifacts from damage by drilling in the Book Cliffs... Jim called her a “crazy lady” so I will go with that.  It was her that raised issues about you and your paper according to the Lieutenant Governor... Jim had a frank talk with him and said look “I don't care what you decide because it's a win win either way for me but if Fisher does go through with making a big deal out of this I personally with call the New York Times and call a press conference." Cox took the message to Herbertt and he must have passed it down to Fisher. However Jim is a little worried that the head of Utah State History might get some flak from Fisher who is his boss. He said the people in government here are not above vindictiveness if their egos are bruised. So that is what Jim told me- that it was Julie Fisher not anyone in the state legislature who caused this ruckus.  She is a Mormon with a B.A. from University of Indiana and a Republican... That is what Herbert meant when he said she was highly qualified to oversee the Heritage and Arts in Utah... In reality she was hired to downsize the department as a Republican Stooge....from your reply I didn't think you knew the rest of the story.  Jim didn't tell me not to tell anyone about this but he knew I'd put it in my records... I wouldn't use Jim as a source of this information unless he gives permission.... The Republicans in this state all have knives and he is not Mr. popularity right now over his very vocal opposition to the prison relocation and letting the cat out of the bag that the people who did the "independent feasibility study" for the committee have criminal back grounds for bribery.

·         Seth- WOW!! That is a scoop! Thank you for the info. Nice to know he had my back. smile emoticon I'm gonna share this with Connell and my advisor but I'll let them know to keep it secret. Well, at least the part about Jim. Utah is fucked up. Lol

·         Charles Lynn Frost Gentlemen, I wanted to communicate with both of you. As you know--I have always strived to be inclusive and welcoming to all. I feel GMA should be that way as well. However, someone asked to join today, and were he to be involved in GMA, I would have to leave. The hurt and harm he has done to me recently, is real, personal, and calculated. I have declined his request. Jerry Buie, current Chair of the SAGE Board, along with the UPC Board of Directors, are the reasons why I left SAGE. I won't go into detail--but what Jerry Buie did to orchestrate and manipulate me being unable to continue being involved with SAGE Utah has left a life-long impact on me. TRUST is everything to me, and once it is to verifiably destroyed, I just will not there with a person again. I hope you understand, and if you two encounter anyone like Jerry is to me, please know I will support you. Thanks, Charles Lynn

·         Me- Regarding Gay Men Aloud We should make a list of people that joining the group would be detrimental to us enjoying the association of the group... I know Kent you have issues with Connell O'Donovan and Charles would not be comfortable with either Troy Williams or Jerry Buie... This I know is hard but it is for right now OUR group and there are personalities out there who would dominate or even try to thwart our vision ... Jerry has Sage ... Troy has Equality Utah... I almost feel like if an A Lister is part of the problem why we needed a men's group maybe they don't belong

·         Charles Lynn Frost  Thank you for sharing your feelings and opinion Ben. I am glad your thoughts about this issue. I can fully respect Kent's issues with Connell, since I have seen Connell take over and go on an ego trip several times. Jerry has a "NEED TO KNOW EVERYTHING," then he goes and stirs and causes drama, dysfunction, and shit stirring. I feel there are other groups he needs to be focusing on, on this ONE! I also agree with A-listers, which in my opinion neither Jerry or Troy W. are. Jerry is a wannabe A-lister, that because of his behaviors past and present to me and many, many others, people are cautious of him, and he is suspect. I think this group has to be one of camaraderie and a sense of belonging, where brave, truthful, and courageous interactive conversation can occur regularly. Certain people deter or literally halt that from taking place. Therapists and lawyers (IMHO and experience) tend to take over, dominate, and potentially ruin very positive outcomes. WE (the 3 of us) can determine it case by case, and as we LEARN from leading this new group, for which there is much excitement. I predict once the QSL paper edition hits the stands we will be getting more requests, which is great. There is a HUGE NEED for this group. I will share with you, that I get calls regularly from Gay men who used to get client & case management from me when I worked with SAGE. Several have said "thank you so much for inviting me." They need friends and social companionship. There is a NEED, we will meet it in several ways.

·         Kent Scadlock After talking with Ben and after reading Charles' remarks, I agree that we need to be careful as we nurture and watch this group grow. Like Charles mentioned maybe a quick note between us on requests where there may be doubt of the requestor's intentions or motivation for joining the group.

·         Me- Charles suggested that we just do requests once a week after we have talked and there's no objection

·         Charles Lynn Frost  Thanks Kent. I think we three are all on the same page at this point. Ben and I just talked, and he indicated he'd just talked with you. We are suggesting that the three of us consider all requests to join twice a week, since interest is growing, etc. Ben will set up the times we consider requests. Ben is also going to make sure that we 3 admins are the only people who can APPROVE.

·         Kent Scadlock  Perfect!!

·         Me- PS Rocky is doing his talk at Marilyn's in Ogden on Trans history in Utah... He's definitely not getting in lol

·         Charles Lynn Frost LOL. Is Rocky Trans*? Interesting, why not ask a real Trans* person? It's like Rocky presenting for the NAACP or Native American Tribes Council as an expert. Weird

·         Me- Lol Rocky is a number one sob sister who cares about the bleeding masses but not any individual's needs or concerns

·         Kent Scadlock  Well stated Ben. That and Rocky may have dressed in drag a time or two.

·         Me-  So have I but I was still a cock in a frock looking for cock lol

·         Kent Scadlock  LOL!!

·         Charles Lynn Frost  Kent, are there other individuals you had experience with that cannot be trusted, or would not be good fits for GMA?

·         Kent Scadlock  Not anyone else I can think of. I told Ben that, even with Rocky, I could let go of my issues, if he really wanted to be a part of GMA. I have a hunch he is going to make a request to join sooner or later.

·         Charles Lynn Frost  I’m sure Ben and I will veto him. LOL

·         Kent Scadlock  LOL He is a FOMO HOMO!! Fear Of Missing Out (FOMO).

·         Me - Anyone who thinks they are LGBT should not be a part of this group, anyone who says Gay is what I do and not who I am should not be a part of this group, anyone who puts their Mormon identity before their Gay Identity should not be part of this group...Bi-sexuals like Jon Jepson should not be part of this group

·         Kent Scadlock  Agreed 100% Ben!!

·         Me - Just opened my email and a post from the Pride Center said that Edmonds had just  met with the "fabulous members of the 1-5 Club"... It’s a club for those who fall 1-5 on the Kinsey Scale with 6 being exclusively homosexual.  She said Bisexuality is an umbrella term that includes Pansexuals, omnisexuals, fluids and those not wishing to label themselves but do not identify with either 0 or 6. Then she said Cool Right? I wanted to say not really LOL well we know where to send people that don't identify as a Kinsey 6

·         Charles Lynn Frost  Agree  What a mess of a statement. I would however take a 5, according to this illustrated Kinsey scale. My jockstrap fetish ROARS.

·         Kendall Wilcox Ben I want you to meet Berta. She is working with us on the Utah LGBTQ Stories project we spoke about a couple months ago. Berta will be working on transitioning the content from your website to the timeline on the LGBTQ Stories site. You will not need to do anything. We just want you and Berta to be in communication in case she has any questions.  Does this all make sense? Thanks, as always, Ben.

·         Benedgar Makes sense... will be happy to meet her.

·         Kendall Thanks, Ben!

 

 

26 August 2015 Wednesday

Finally put my steam cleaner together and tried it out in the bedroom. Now that I don’t have bed bugs it didn’t seem as urgent.  I like how it gets the grime out of things and glad that I bought it after all.  Mike bought a better heavy duty dolly to wheel his camper to hook up to his trucks hitch. Afterwards I had him come in and see if we could hook my VCR up to the projector. We can but I need longer cables. The LDS Church announced that they would not pull out of Boy Scouts of America and form their own scouting program after all. They are pissed that BSA pulled their policy of not letting Gay men be Scout leaders.

 

27 August 2015 Thursday

I dropped off about four trash bags full of clothes at DI this morning. Cleaning out things I don’t wear or need any more.  Then I went out to the discount food store where I bought most of my yard plants this year looking for Grenadine syrup. I’ve been on a quest for it lately. 

·         Charles Lynn Frost  Did we have a new request today? My cell phone said so, but I don't see them on the FB page for GMA.

·         Kent Scadlock  I'm showing a request from George Garff. He is a friend of my friend Michael Berry. I haven't approved it yet.

·         Charles Lynn Frost If you think he'd be a good fit, I totally trust both of you.

·        Kent Scadlock I think he'd be a good fit based on Michael's  recommendation.

 

28 August 2015 Friday

I had a dream last night that I was in my classroom teaching and Mrs. Beck was in it. I suppose my subconscious thinks I should be teaching since if I had not retired I’d be there now.  I also had a lonesome dream about Bill and Faye Romero. I didn’t see them it was that I was telling Michael I wanted to go Rawlins to visit them but then a melancholy swept over me that I will never be going to Rawlins ever again. Work on my research of Joseph Smith’s early days in the 1820s until noon but I did mail off my Social Security info they wanted. I had to tell them how much money I made monthly. So that is done. Finally got around to looking at some mail I pile up before looking through it...I am really a slacker that is why I generally have everything as automatic withdrawals...anyway opened a letter from American first saying my loan against the truck is paid off and they sent me my title. Whoopie! Now to get the PT Cruiser paid off... Good thing I opened the letter and not just tossed it... I need a manager lol.  Michael came by at 2 pm to pick up  Coco and his Camper Trailer.  He brought over an longer cable connection for the VCR and projector. I will have to see if that works.  Then I worked some in the backyard cleaning out the  area between the brick patio and the fence. I had all these end piece of lumber I was going to use for firewood but I decided instead to put this 6 foot sheet of plywood down and then piece in all this lumber to make a platform. I quit near 3 pm to get ready for Kyle Daniels to come over but he never did.  I really hate being stood up.  So I just went back to work out side for about 4 hours filling up two trash cans with yard waste mostly old dead leaves that have been composting for years. I also trimmed back the honeysuckle bush that had a lot of dead growth in it. So I worked my ass off but things are looking nice. I moved the BBQ over onto the wooden platform I made.  So it was a very productive day even if in the 90’s still.  Less than a month left of summer. Late night dinner of summer squash, hamburger and garlic mushrooms, Greek Salad, and grilled pita bread. Right before going to bed Kyle Daniels called, the little shit and wants to see me this weekend and go hot tubbing. We shall see. We shall see.

 

29 August 2015 Saturday

My blood sugars must have dropped really low in the middle of the night. Woke up about 2:00 a.m. really hungry and I had a good dinner that I even didn't eat until 8:30 pm yesterday. So I got up and had a cheese stick that I shared with Lucky. That didn't take the edge off so I ate a few whole wheat crackers. That didn't work either so I had a bowl of grape nuts and that seemed to help. Stayed up until 3:30 a.m. bringing my journals up to date with faithful Lucky laying in the Lazy Boy next to my desk. He can't sleep without me by his side. This morning I tested my blood sugars and I was at 79 so who knows how low it dropped last night. Enough to make me ravenous for some carbs that’s for sure... So now I am eating a good breakfast of sausage, scrambled eggs, English Muffins, grapefruit slices and coffee. I never miss breakfast even if I skip other meals. Eat your breakfast the most important meal of the day. I worked a lot in the back yard again and about the only time I left the house was to fill up the tank on the cruiser for the trip to Gunnison tomorrow. I had a letter from Kyle Foote in the mailbox this afternoon.  It made great time because he mailed it out on Thursday! He started his Culinary school classes and is back in with his friends Todd and Jeff. He said the money I sent hit his books on Thursday too. So Sitting outside after taking The Hounds for a ride and Daisy for a walk around the block and reading the good news that Kyle sent I just was smiling and grateful. 4:30 pm is such a pleasant time of day with the gentle warming breeze making the globe willows sway to the music of the chimes... I love my little home and feel so blessed to have my health and strength to take care of three happy companions and maintain my home and yard... Grateful to enjoy a hot tub and grateful to Kyle that built all this for me to enjoy in my senior years... Just happy and feeling grateful to Providence and my place in the universe at this moment in time before it slips away. Stupid new word of the day BATPANDA- Bisexual, Asexual, Trans, Pansexual, Aromatic, Demisexual, Agender…It’s supposed to be LGBT without the Gays.

·         Bill Poore You are so sentimental. After I read something like this I realize what a cold mother f I really am. We are all blessed however that you stopped filming before you showed us you in the hot tub. I loved the background noise of the dog barking.

·         Edgar Ben Williams Unlike some people I know I've never done porno... Yet

·         Bill Poore Having lived in San Diego and LA I had a lot of friends in the porn industry. I actually was roomies with a porn star while he finished his master’s degree and became a first grade teacher in Texas....very true story.

·         Roland Ron Holmgren So I'm watching your video, Chennie and I are sitting together. Chennie watches TV and loves when dogs or horses are on. Your dogs bark, and she is so excited, and. Doesn't see a dog. Major disappointment. After feeling somewhat depressed the last couple of days, your thoughts really hit home. Thanks for sharing them. Made me think.

 

30 August 2015 Sunday

Couldn’t sleep past 5 this morning so got up and worked a little on my research on Joseph Smith Glass Looker. This is the first time in my life since I set up housekeeping on my own that I don't have flour in the house. Seems unnatural. But if I have no flour, I won't bake, and if I don't bake I won't eat the treats I learned to make since I was at least 10. Mom worked and my sisters didn't want to cook so I learned to bake cakes and cookies on my own... Made a lot of good treats for myself and people I loved over the past 50 years but now I have no flour... So no more alchemy in the kitchen... I've told kids who are starting to set up a kitchen always have flour, sugar, salt, milk, oil, eggs, baking soda, baking powder and cinnamon as dry goods and you can make anything. Bill Poore was coming over at 10:00  so about 9:30 threw myself in the shower and got dressed for the prison. I have it down to a science now. Long pants, my shoes with no metal, no belt and a regular shirt. They are pretty regimented on what you can wear and you also have to go through a metal detector. I bring plenty of quarters as the vending machines will only take quarters. It’s often a crap shoot whether you get anything out of the machines. If they get hung up and don’t drop you don’t get your money back and the prices are all jacked up. Anyway when Bill arrived we were on our way by 10 and we only stopped for drinks. It was a beautiful day although cloudy like it wanted to rain but it never did. Bill talked the whole way down so it made the time go that much faster than when I go by myself.  We actually got into Gunnison by noon and after dropping me off I was able to see Kyle by 12:30. I had no trouble or wait time on this visit, not like last time. Everything could not have gone smoother. He was excited to tell me about his class and how much food he ate. The prison has its own garden so he was eating fresh tomatoes for the first time in three and half years, and real butter, and bacon. He said he had not had bacon since he was arrested in December of 2011.  I just listened to his excitement and then shared what little news I had about Jim Dabakis intervening in Seth Anderson’s behalf with the governor’s office. We talked some of career prospects when he gets out, about prison reform, and about how selfish he had been being so obsessed with paying back his restitution that he was hurting people and how foolish he was about all his probation violations. I certainly hope it’s not just prison talk but rather he is a changed and reformed man. Well as usual the two hours flew by. Bill Poor always asks me what do we find to talk about for 2 hours. Kyle and I have never been at a loss to find things to talk about. The drive home was quick and uneventful and we were actually home by 4:30. We were back early from our a little day trip with Bill Poore to Central Utah where  Bill looked up dead relatives. It was a nice day for a drive and Route 22 was beautiful this late August with green, green corn fields and grass as yellow as gold. It’s good to get out the house for a while but even better to be back home. Funny if you drove 130 miles in California you would have really seen a lot but here 130 miles is nothing but little Mormon farming communities. So I drove 260 miles today and glad to be home in time to feed the pooches. Michael was just pulling up with his trailer at the same time. He gave me some longer cable to hook up the VCR but I hadn’t yet. I wasn’t sure if Kyle D was planning on coming over because he mentioned it last Friday but I don’t count on him. When his dick is hard and he is horny he will come around to see his cum dump. I was surprised to hear from Levon via texting this evening. He wanted to tell me about a boy he had come over to his place who is a 20 year old dance student at the U. He sent me his picture and he is gorgeous but of course Levon found something to not make it work for him. That kid. I tell you what. He wants to move from Utah so badly and I don’t blame him but he’s still waiting to hear about his asylum. It’s been over two years now. Well its about 10 pm and time for bed.

·         Roland Ron Holmgren You and Bill take nice road trips.

·         Bill Poore We are comfortable around each other, we both know we are crazy. I admit it, he still thinks he is normal. We agree on our history, our sense of community, and who we are as gay men. Neither one of us buys into any of the new terms and pseudo-science on gender... we also are not afraid to be honest with each other, he really hurt my feelings today telling me how lonely I am, and that choice is totally mine., of course he is surrounded by three dogs, and then guest dogs (B and Corky visiting days at a time, then of course Coco dropped off daily. ) we are also comfortable fighting with each other, we don’t hurt each other’s feelings but can be very blunt. He is pissed because I have never invited him my small apartment. I told him I liked visiting his house, he said he would like to get out and visit me. I finally told him I hated people to visit me, I like to visit but don’t want to be visited....

·         Roland Ron Holmgren Why?

·         Bill Poore Roland Ron Holmgren I don’t know, as I get older I like to be alone in my own space. I am slowly slipping in the role of a hermit, more and more. I don’t attend events, just select shows I want to see. I am very comfortable being alone. I don’t need people around me. I didn’t do Pride at all, none of the SAGE gatherings.

·         Roland Ron Holmgren Damn you sound like me. Instead of thinking I am a hermit, I have become a recluse. I only attend those gatherings that I really enjoy like the monthly dinners the Turnites have. I am involved with my family but rarely venture out of my comfort zone...I am alone, but not lonely. And quite frankly, I enjoy my own company. My niece Roni is always welcome in my home for extended stays because I really enjoy her company and companionship. I get frequent invites from my Facebook friends, but so far, I have turned them down. I sometimes think that I will not live up to their expectations or them mine. And I haven't attended SAGE gatherings, never attended gay pride, etc. Much of my reluctance is health reasons and, since my sister died, a very fixed income. Of course, I am never quite alone, with two cats, a bird, and three dogs. Most of my life, I have been a caregiver, and was for my sister for several years, when she died, I decided for once in my life, I was only going to be a caregiver for myself. So yes, I understand where you are coming from. \

·         Bill Poore Well you do have your cats, bird and dogs. They are a great comfort. My cats left me this past year, I miss them dearly. Bill Poore I have to correct a possible misconception, Ben did not hurt my feelings at all. I was joking about the lonely remark. It would take a lot for anyone to hurt my feelings....

 

31 August Monday

Didn’t sleep well again. I was sweaty and woke up about 2:30 feeling piquish so I tested my blood sugars and I was at 75. So I had some buttered toast and jam and some grapefruit juice. I stayed up until about 3:30 when I forced myself back to bed because I had to be over at Chucks at 8:30 to take him to his doctor’s appointment to see about the ulcer on his foot. He said it is healing. Then I was home by 10:00 for Stephen Bolinder to come over and groom all the dogs. They were way past ripe. That took until nearly 2:00 to do all four of them and I paid him$160 plus squash and tomatoes out of the garden. We made an appointment for November 27th the day after Thanksgiving around noon for their next grooming.  Lucky even lost one of his loose canine tooth that I called old snaggletooth so he acts like he’s feeling much better. They all look so much better with their field cuts. I hooked the vcr up in the movie room so I can show movies there I still have on tape as well as CD’s.  That makes me happy. Started cleaning that room up, dusting, and furniture polishing. Rediscovered some very old porn copied on to VCR tapes from probably back in the early 1980’s that were hidden away for years. I am sure the quality is going to be pretty lousy and I will end up chucking it all.  Pretty nice day all in all.  So here it is the end of August and I am not back at school. Strange feeling.

 

SEPTEMBER

1 September 2015 Tuesday

This morning I thought I better get a handle on my finances better since its September. So I went to my credit union in Bountiful to find out what my balance is and to find out why I can’t access my account on line. I was shocked and pleasantly surprised to find that I have $7,000 in my checking account there! Then I Went up to Farmington to turn some insurance forms for early retirement at the district office. How quickly I already feel disconnected from a place where I worked for 27 years.  Life certainly goes on without you. I rarely eat out by myself but I stopped at China Star in Bountiful because I was hungry for Chinese and it's good and inexpensive. I also doubt whether I will have a reason to go into Bountiful as often either. I had twice cooked pork and everything was delicious as usually but hardly anyone was in there even though it was a little after lunch time. I laughed at my fortune cookie...”The way to get to the top is to get off your bottom.”  I am so Gay so I totally took this as a sexual connotation ha! Since I had money in the bank after all I did some shopping today. First I went to DI and bought some things like a wooden shelf for outdoors and a nice blanket. Then I went shopping at Smiths for food for the dogs when I saw they had these wicker outdoor rocking chairs discounted to $45 from $150 so I bought one but I wish now that I would have bought two .  It was warm today but only in the high 80’s. That crazy lady Kim Davis County Clerk in Rowan County, Kentucky is sure lighting up FB with comments In last year’s election, Kim Davis told the Morehead News, “The public is my boss. Being a public servant is ingrained in me and I want (to) continue providing the high level of customer service we do while treating people with respect, kindness, and helping them with whatever situation they have.” This born again Christian committed adultery while married had twins out of wedlock, been married 4 times...but it all doesn't matter because she has been born again and Gays are destroying the sanctity of marriage..

·         Michael  Ferguson you got me thinking of things I haven't thought of in 20 years since my Faerie days. If you are delving into the mysteries of the feminine creator you need to study Binah "the mother of all" also known in Hebrew as Shekinah and Matronit. Chochma or pure energy is her male consort in Jewish mysticism. Kind of like Yin and Yang. From Binah's womb all "structures of positive existence came forth." Binah is also "processed wisdom," or deductive reasoning. While Chockmah is intellect that is either inspired or taught or even ethereal- not grounded . Binah is said to be the "rational process that is innate in the person which works to develop an idea fully." Binah is the Goddess within who makes our ideas come to fruition. In the ancient 1st century Jewish text called Bahir (the Book of Brightness) and source material for the Jewish Kabbalah it says : “For you shall call Understanding a Mother.” During the Jewish Diaspora the Goddess became known as Shekinah and associated with femininity, fertility, and female symbols like apples, the moon, and the rainbow. Theologians have suggested that this figure of a divine nurturer "served medieval Jews as a feminine comforter akin to the role that Mary played for the Christian believer." If God is an idea, the Goddess is the Word and the word was manifested and became flesh in the form of the Christus. In anthropologist and historian Raphael Patai's book The Hebrew Goddess, he argues that the term Shekinah refers to a Jewish goddess akin to the "Greek notion of Parousia* or the Christian concept of the “Holy Ghost”. She is at times linked to reading of the Torah. When Israel studies Torah, it draws the Shekhina closer. The Goddess then is the Holy Spirit that witnesses to all truth. To the Greeks she is called Sophia or wisdom. In the Kabbalah's tree of knowledge Binah is on the left column or left side of the brain. Logic is feminine which patriarchy had flipped. Intuitiveness comes from Chochma who governs the right side of the tree of knowledge or the brain. In the middle of the Tree of Knowledge is Kether at the head of the central column known as the "Pillar of Mildness". The middle column is associated with the Hebrew letter Aleph, "the breath", representing the element of air. The Pillar of Mildness is neutral and is a "balance between the two opposing forces of male and female tendencies." I always thought that Kether described Gay folks... that we were neither male nor female but a balance or bridge between the sexes. It’s not that we are trapped in the wrong bodies but rather our spirits are simply a combination of male and female energies giving us a gnosis perspective whether we take on male or female forms. Male and Female is about gender identities... being Gay is not... Gay is a perspective... a gift to be Berdaches and Shamans. There is a reason why so many Gay people are born into Mormonism but prophets are without honor in their own land. We Gays are the children of Binah as we take the male idea and turn it into the female creation. In 1993 I got a group of faeries together to create the Gay newspaper we called the Pillar. It was hijacked but that is another story. I called it Pillar because in the Sacred Faeries we called those who had knowledge of the Faerie Lore and our Gay traditions and who were willing to teach others "The Pillars". Initiates were called Pixies LOL. Those members who were active but did not wish to lead were called Faeries. We had rituals (similar to your apostate conversion therapy group) of birthing, raising cones of power, using male energy to heal not harm, and celebrating the Goddess and the God as energy and matter. The Goddess transform the Gods energy into tangible matter...ie protons, electrons, neutrons into atoms and molecules. To us the spiraling circle, as seen in atoms as well as galaxies was the divine sign of the divine feminine not perpendicular straight lines of the masculine the symbol of conflict. We danced in circles never marched in lines. So there Michael Adam Ferguson I am done for what it is worth. Old Faeries never die we just dim to a glimmer, a faint echo in a sacred cave. .

 

2 September 2015 Wednesday

It was a warm windy day and for the first time I actually thought to myself that this is a school day and it’s not vacation or a weekend. First time I really felt like I am retired. I putz around the house… scrubbed some of the rings the potted plants made on the deck, did some other yard work and called it a day by 9:30 and went and watched some Big Brother and read messages on FB. Before heading to bed I typed in my address on Google just to see want it said. Zillow a real estate site estimated that the property was worth $155,000 but they had me listed as simply a 3 bedroom one bathroom house and nothing about the bedroom and shower downstairs. They also said that the Westpointe area had so many foreclosed homes on the market that its keeping the prices of homes over here from appreciating as fast as other parts of the city. Anyway I was surprised that they had Fran listed at this address and at an address in Provo so I did some snooping. Evidently Fran never remarried as I had thought but had bought a condo in Provo at 468 East 200 North #4 … That surprised me so I tried to find out more but she has very little information on line which is typical because she was always so paranoid. Fran is 70 years old now and appears to be still working as a Register Nurse but specializing in mental health issues. Wow Circles. I have not seen or spoken to Fran since probably 1992. “Frances Williams Health specialist - Provo, UT (801) 373-4760(Phone) 750 N Freedom Blvd, Provo, UT 84601  Specialties: Nursing (Registered Nurse), Psychiatric Nursing” Jim Dabakis invited me to a celebration for the launch of his new "UP Utah Progressive" TV show which will air every Sunday morning at 9:30 on ABC4 Utah! It’s on the 10th of this month at the New Yorker at 4:30. I saw an obituary for David Pettigrew. I knew him but we did not hang out in the same circles. He was friends with Mark Angus and I guess Ben Anderson.

·        David Steven Pettigrew died peacefully in his sleep at home while in hospice care on September 2, 2015. David was born on September 7, 1948 in Salt Lake City to Margie Silvers Pettigrew and Richard Anderson, adopted by David Pettigrew. David was kind, compassionate, caring, generous, and a friend to all he met. Regardless of what others thought, he always found the best in everyone. David was NOT easy to forget. His intellect was superior in all facets of life. His love for poetry, photography and the universe made you think about your own life. David was the rock fairy, audiophile, mentor and friend to all. His wit and humor were infectious. He loved and is survived by his pack of dogs who miss him already – He was the Big Dog, the Alpha. David is also survived by his husband, Christhian Munoz-Macias; brothers, Bill, Scott, Craig, Kory, Shon; sisters, Liz, Suzie, Patty, Sherilyn; Uncle Tom Silvers (Ginger); numerous nieces and nephews. Preceded in death by his parents. A viewing will be held from 6:00-8:00 pm, Monday, September 7, 2015 at Larkin Mortuary, 260 East South Temple, Salt Lake City. A graveside service will be held at 10:00 am, Tuesday, September 8, 2015 at the Salt Lake City Cemetery, 280 North Cypress Avenue. Memorial donations may be made to the Humane Society of Utah.

 

3 September 2015 Thursday

I went down to Sutherlands this morning to meet Chuck who came in on Traxx. He wanted to check out screen frames for his window that got damaged but they wanted way too much money . So I took him to Dollar Tree over here on Redwood so he could buy some sugar free cookies and cleaning supplies. He wanted to come over after that and see the pups so we sat outside and visited for a bit. It was very windy today, a warm southern wind a Zephyr Wind. Since it was almost noon I took Chuck out for lunch at Chubby’s. I hadn’t eaten there since Levon and I had a fight there almost 2 years ago now. Lunch was good and I know Chuck doesn’t get the opportunity to eat out often. After taking him home I went to the DI on 7th South and about 2nd East where I bought some clothes. Another sports coat and some pants and a shirt.  The sport coat was a woolen gray tweed much like the one I bought at Nordstroms at the Crossroads Mall so many years ago. From there I went to Lowes to buy a cover for the BBQ grill. The other one I bought 4 years ago and it was pretty shot. They had a close out on some plants suitable for the shade for a $1 each so I bought 8 of them. When I got home I started watering the vegetable garden and flower patch because the dry warm wind was sapping every bit of moisture out of the ground. Also did some weeding in my flower planter boxes. Yesterday I notice that some green tomatoes had been picked and probably thrown by the Northwest Jr high kids that walk by my place when they get out at 3:30. And sure enough about 5 Mexican kids walked by and one gets into the Tomato patch and takes a tomato. I yelled at him to get out of my stuff and that if he would have asked he could have had a tomato but  you don’t just steal stuff that don’t belong to you. I said I know your parents taught you better than that. He was trying to act all tough in from of his peers but another kid asked if he could have one and I said certainly. I guess the school teacher is still in me. Anyway I was still stuffed from such a big lunch that I didn’t have any dinner until late. Worked in the back yard some and then checked Facebook before going to bed. Tyler Ferguson called me as I was heading over to Mike’s with the pups. We made an appointment for next Thursday at 11 a.m. at the Paradise Café in Bountiful. He was meeting with Liz Beck just before me so I said I’d meet him up there rather than him driving down here. Other than that the day seemed to slip away from me. Going through my VCR tapes I saw that Romeo and Juliette tape was ruined. Made me a little sad but I am sure it’s still available on DVR. I saw it with John Cunningham in the summer of 1969 so it contains sweet memories especially the theme song that played all summer long. Before going to bed watched a VCR tape we recorded back in 1997 when we brought Smokey home as a puppy and Priscilla was just a little over a year old. There was old Oscar there too. A clip of the yard showed that we still just had a linked fence up around the back yard. Lots of changes over the years.

 

4 September 2015 Friday

Michael Romero got me to craving an Apple Fritter from the Donut Shop at 27th South and State Street after talking donuts yesterday so I got up about 6:45 a.m. and drove all the way over there for an apple fritter. Talk about obsessive compulsive. I had a restless night last night having to get up and Pee almost every hour. Finally at 1:30 am. I tested my blood and it was 195 high but not crazy high. I had a Greek Salad of fresh tomatoes, cucumbers, Greek olives, and feta cheese right before going to bed so that should not have affected me although a little bit before that I had a bowl of cherries and a banana. I think the big Mexican lunch at noon was what set me off. This morning when I tested it was 91 so a 100 pt swing.  Weird.  Mike is heading out today some place North until Tuesday so I bought him some donuts to take with him. Later today Alan Anderson and Kyle Daniels will be dropping the hounds off as they head back to Nebraska for a family reunion. So babysitting this weekend. I saw a t-shirt on Facebook that sums up my feelings “Retired Teacher All Children Left Behind”

 

5 September 2015 Saturday

What a difference a day makes...The zephyr winds from the south are all gone. The temperature today has dropped to the low 70's. Cleaned out all the old leaves that gather beneath the deck and porch crawling on hands and knees with a leaf blower and then hosed it all down. It’s a chore but necessary and all pretty now. Yesterday I planted some shade plants ferns and hostas in the back yard that gets little sunlight... hopefully they will thrive... Bill Poore came over to see the pups and then too me out to East Sea for a late lunch. Was really good but ate too much... we sat and talked about all our old men complaints... I came home after that for a snooze...Chinese Food knocked me right out. Fixed the five pups their supper. On the menu tonight was left over pork loin, baked chicken thighs deboned, Rachel Ray's kibbles, and a dab of grated cheddar. They must of loved it for all their bowls were licked clean. I am have a rum and coca cola enjoying the light breeze outside. I need a bigger lap because whenever Lucky sits in it Corky has to jump up too. Curtis Jensen shared this and I could not agree any more with his sentiments... “Religion is used now to hate people not love them..." when I was a very small child I remember that Churches were at the forefront of social justice civil rights and equality fights. But then... the ERA battles of the 70's started to bring out the asshole in religious folk, then Jerry Falwell started his bogus "Moral Majority" movement that formally politicized Christianity and really kicked off changing the defining aspect of Christians into not what good works they did for the world, but who and what they could pass judgement on. The GOP, knowing that hatred and fear are great for centralizing power ate that right up. It's all come home to roost. The GOP is dominated by hatemongers, bigots and xenophobes. I'm actually wistful for the days when someone could claim they were GOP because they were "fiscal conservatives" or liked a "strong defense" (no Republican can claim that with a straight face anymore - there's the small matter of a 3-6 trillion dollar debt for a bogus war/defense contract give-away on their bloody bloody hands). All that's left for them are religious kooks, billionaires who can buy the government they want and angry fearful white people who are afraid they will have to learn more Spanish than "burrito" and obsess over the idea that some black woman on welfare had a fried shrimp for dinner once last year.~ Curtis

·         Roland Ron Holmgren Where is the East Sea? Your dog’s eat better than some people. Except for the kibbles, wrap that meat around some bread, and that would be a good sandwich. I am waiting for the winds to settle down to do some leaf blowing.

·         Bill Poore Roland they do eat better than most humans. I have seen their meals, I could easily eat it. The kibbles are softened with all the juices so it is cool. Ben spends a great deal of time cooking their food. When Cocco is there and Alan's dogs are staying for a long weekend meal time is like walking into Chuck O Rama.

·         Edgar Ben Williams East Sea is at North Temple and 9th west about a block east of the State Fairgrounds... Just trying to keep my pups healthy and happy...

·         Roland Ron Holmgren I thought that was the restaurant. Across from the Fairgrounds. I am taking my niece to the fair, and since I never eat at the fair, but always go out to dinner after the fair, might stop off and try it out. It seems to have been there forever.

·         Edgar Ben Williams I think the food is tasty and reasonably but don't expect warm and friendly service... Kind of typical Chinese

·         Bill Poore It is ok not great Chinese, of course having lived in NYC and SF always ate in non-tourist Chinese places that the old Chinese men ate

 

6 September 2915 Sunday

Suppose to be 57 degrees tomorrow morning... Fall feels like it's on its way... My tomato harvest so far but have lots of green ones still... Hope they get to ripen before any cold snap... Never can tell with strange weather... Worked in the front yard raking and pulling weeds... On the menu tonight at the House of the Barking Dogs Roasted chicken, navy beans cooked chicken broth, Rachel Ray kibbles and a dollop of cheddar cheese... Bhanni like to dine by herself. Evening is cooling down so might hot tub and then call it a day...Everyone one wanted on the bed tonight ... Bhanni, Corky, Lucky, Buddy, and even Daisy... I guess I will curl up into a ball myself ... Martin Milner the actor from TV show Route 66 died today at the age of 83.

 

7 September 2015 Monday Labor Day

Bhanni and Corky sure were cuddle buddies last night one sleeping by my head on the pillow and the other on my side...they liked their bellies rubbed... Bhanni is like Lucky not morning dogs while Corky and Buddy are up barking for their hot dog treats... Which everybody got one... Time to get up and make coffee Picked Alan Anderson and Kyle Daniels up at the airport when they got in about 7 pm

·         Alan Anderson Did Corky lick your forehead to sleep?

·         Edgar Ben Williams Yes he did... He's a kissing maniac.  Corky thinks he's on holiday here... Drags out all the toys ...jumps up and helps himself to treats...humps Lucky AND Buddy all day long... Naps on the bed

·          Alan Anderson What makes you think he is on vacation? That's what he does at home too.

 

8 September 2015 Tuesday

Restless night and rather than just lay in bed got up at 4 a.m. to have some coffee and working on something I am researching. I only kept the dining room light on so the pups would sleep but faithful Lucky as always came out to lay beside me when all of a sudden I see something out of the corner of my eye scampering like crazy skittering across the floor as Lucky is in mad pursuit joined by Daisy into the kitchen. Whatever it was it got away... I am sure it was a mouse and as much as I'd like to blame Corky for inviting his trashy friends into the house it is probably the cooler weather that is driving critters inside. If you see one mouse there are usually plenty more you don't see.  I worked in the back yard some getting rid of old composted leaves and removed the red paving stones to settle the dirt where I had moved my outdoor swinging chair. I hadn't been feeling well… kind of run down and by this afternoon my right thumb started throbbing so badly that I thought I had broken it. I took some Aleve and then took a nap. The Aleve didn’t help and I barely woke up in time to take Coco home. My thumb was now swollen and had red streaks and the pain was making my whole hand useless. So after taking Coco home I thought I better go to Urgent Care rather than wait in the morning. I almost died once from blood poisoning so I thought better have it checked out.  I headed to Urgent Care on Redwood and 4th South and amazingly I didn’t wait but about 5 minutes before seeing this doctor. He was much older than me and semi-retired and he was really concerned. I also had red soreness on my belly where I give myself insulin and when the doctor saw both these infections he was quite concerned. He scared me a little when he mentioned flesh eating bacteria but I think he was trying to impress me how serious this is and he did. He immediately gave me a shot in my ass that stung like hell but hurt less than my thumb. He wrote out prescriptions for anti-biotics Cephalexin and some Sulfamethoxazole which I am supposed to start tomorrow if I don’t have a reaction to the Cephalexin. He also gave me some pain pills to which I am grateful for. I don’t like pain pills but they are nice to have when your thumb feels like it’s going to burst... After picking up the prescriptions at the Smith’s pharmacy I just and laid down in bed to watch some TV and hope for the best. I wrote on Facebook “If you don’t hear from me tomorrow come feed my dogs. So hope everyone else is doing okay...”

·         Joe My God blogger wrote “-Yesterday the Liberty Counsel filed an emergency motion to Kentucky Gov. Steve Beshear, demanding that he release Kim Davis from jail. This morning Beshear told the Liberty Counsel to suck it, saying that he will not even respond to their motion. BOOM!” With all the social issues that causes real harm this phony Christian Kim Davis choses marriage equality over poverty, hunger, homelessness, racism, immigration reform. She is a martyred to bigotry only. But She is being played by millionaire white men just as Anita Bryant was. Too bad she doesn't believe in live and let live as does Anita Bryant does now after playing the patsy for the Chri$tian Right.

·         Kent Scadlock There's a new addition request in GMA, he is a friend of Lon Breeden. I thought I'd approve it. Objections?

·         Benedgar none

·         Charles Lynn None. He reached out to me (Lon)

 

9 September 2015 Wednesday

It's nearly 10 am and I'm still in bed...I must have needed the rest... Antibiotics must be working... Don't feel as fatigued and my thumb while still sore is not throbbing in pain. Lucky is by my side comforting me... I appreciate all the concerns and advice posted yesterday... Roland Ron Holmgren I am curious how did your thumb get infected? Glad you are feeling better. I had a doctor who once told me when your body demands sleep, give it what it wants. I have no idea how it became infected. There's no cuts, break, scratches or bite marks. I thought at first I had broken it because it was so painful but I hadn't done anything to break it. I had been working hard in the yard, raking, hoeing, digging and I noticed that a lump had developed at the base of my thumb under my skin that was tender. I thought I had just the beginning of a callous. Whatever it was became more sore until I could see my thumb swell and red patches from heat so knew it was infected. Have not a clue what caused it. My belly I am sure became infected from all the insulin nodule that form in an area of injection. All I know that my thumb hurts when I bend it to grasp anything. .Infections are weird how they just creep up on you...people complain about the times we live in... Not me... In any other age I'd be dead already carried away by microbes... But I'm here still to fight the good fight and love and laugh .... Sing and Dance while we may ... We are only here a short while. Rowan County Deputy Clerk Brian Mason tells BuzzFeed News, “I would issue licenses,” even if Clerk Kim Davis tells him not to. Christian Inc the corporate billion dollar business that controls the extremist sects of Christianity is milking the Kim Davis sham for all its worth. She is punishing others for her own sins as a delusional way of showing devotion to Jesus Christ by listening to the rantings of hardcore haters who know how to play into the bigotry of their base. And the money keeps rolling in. Davis thinks her sins are forgiven but she doesn't realize that forgiveness is conditioned on forgiveness of others. If she was a true disciple of Christ she would Do unto others as you would have done to you and love one another. She think forgiveness only applies to her narrow views of who God loves and will save . Luke 6:46 "And why call ye me, Lord, Lord, and do not the things which I say?" Matthew 7:21 "Not everyone that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven Matthew 22:36-40 ."Master, which is the great commandment in the law? Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets. “Putnam County, Tennessee my Grandpa Johnson's ancestral home... They may be hillbillies but they understand the Constitution So over this privilege millionaire Republican person... Not a role model for anyone but Kardashian followers If you believe as I do that Utah Lands cannot be trusted in the hands of a land developer state legislature please sign

·         Val John Mansfield Nov. 17, 1956 ~ Sept. 9, 2015 Long-time gay activist Val Mansfield died September 9 with friends and family by his side. Mansfield had been heavily involved in Utah's LGBT community since the 1980s and was for decades known for being the graphic designer of every Pride celebration and many organizations. He most recently served on the board of QUAC-Queer Utah Aquatic Club-and traveled to international meets, where he consistently placed. He also competed in the International Gay Games in Chicago and Cologne, Germany. He previously served on the boards of the Gay and Lesbian Community Council of Utah, Desert & Mountain States Lesbian and Gay Conference, Utah Stonewall Center, and the Lesbian and Gay Chorus of Salt Lake. He was also a member of Queer Nation, Gay and Lesbian Utah Democrats, and, later, Utah Stonewall Democrats. Mansfield also represented Utah at three LGBT "Marches on Washington" in 1987, 1993, and 2009. and designed the T-shirts worn by those delegations. He was awarded the Dr. Kristen Ries Community Service Award in 1993. Friends knew him for his dry wit and constant, quirky smile. The youngest of 7 children, Val was born in Vernal, Utah, on November 17, 1956, to Henry A. and Mildred L. Mansfield. He attended BYU, where he majored in Germanic languages, then served an LDS mission in Finland. He had a lifelong career as a printer and graphic artist. He is survived by his mother, Mildred Mansfield (Vernal), brothers Leon Mansfield (Vernal), Loren Mansfield (Anchorage, Alaska), Wynn Mansfield (Vernal), and Marc Mansfield (Vernal), and sisters Dana Colovich (Vernal) and Ramona Rogers (Sheridan, Wyoming). He was preceded in death by his father, Henry A. Mansfield, and by his partner, John Flint. QUAC will present a "Pink Flamingo" synchronized swimming memorial at the Fairmont Park Pool at 12 noon on Sunday, September 20th, after which we will congregate at Club

·         Ben Edgar He also was a Utah member of the Desert and Mountain States Conferences, Attended the 1987 March on Washington as delegate from Utah. Participated in the 1st Gay March here in SLC 1990...Chair of GLCCU's Outreach Committee in 1993... Utah representative of the march of Washington 1993 steering committee.  Kristen Ries Community Service recipient 1993 with Kathy Worthington and Ben Barr....January 1996- The Board of  Directors for the Utah Stonewall Center are Chair Nikki Boyer, Julie Brizzee, Jimmy Miller, Stan Penman, Val Mansfield, Hank Hannah, Ben Williams and Kim Russo... BTW that picture is from 2003 when Chad and I had the history kiosks at Pride. I was rounding up recipients to have their pictures taken

·         Richard P. Butler I had a serious infection several years ago while on vacation. It hit me overnight. I awoke in a sweat and shaking like a leaf. The insta-Care gave me a Horse Shot in my butt to stop the infection. Still took several days to finally feel human. So I know what you are going through. At least you weren't 1,000 miles away on vacation. Glad to hear you're feeling better.

·         Edgar Ben Williams I got the same horse shot... stung like the devil... that is why I don’t go on vacations wink emoticon

·         Patricia Ann Jarvis And you're drinking lots of water, right?

·         Edgar Ben Williams Yep thanks

 

10 September 2015 Thursday

Feeling much better... thumb has stopped throbbing and redness going away as is the insulin poked patch on my belly. Still going to take a break from yard work and typing on my research paper on Joseph Smith's earliest vocation as a treasure hunter and diviner. I have so much antibiotic to take it will be weeks before I consume all the pills they gave me. I have enough to clear the Sun - Trapp of all social diseases. After I am through with them I know I will be a clean teen. Ain’t no bugs in me.  I went into Bountiful to meet Tyler Ferguson about my retirement. He said that I needed to fill out a W2v form so that Social Security will take my taxes out rather than me getting hit with a big Tax bill next April. Also I need to contact Ticor’s HR and get the pension from them going. Its only 21 dollars a month but Tyler said they might pay me a lump sum settlement to take me off their books. He said in the next couple of weeks I should be receiving from the district my early retirement incentive and when I need to access it just contact him. I should be making $3,000 a month after taxes to live on so that would be wonderful. It still feels strange to be receiving money without going into work but Tyler just laughs and says that I had earned it and I suppose I have. Chuck Whyte informed me that Val Mansfield had died which makes me sad. He was such an important part of my Gay activist days in the 1980’s. I first met him when I initially began getting involved in the Gay and Lesbian Community myself. I think I first met him in 1986 at a Lesbian and Gay Student Union Meeting on the Campus of U of U . I think he was about 5 years younger than me at the time. He was involved in every social justice progressive Gay organization of the time. He designed all the Gay Pride Posters from 1987 until about 1992... was on most of the Pride Day Steering Committees. When the Gay and Lesbian Council of Utah was formed in late 1986 he was one of the initial founding members and served for several years as Chair of the Outreach Committee which was charged with speaking to the media and college forums about misunderstandings surrounding Gay people. He was at the March on Washington in 1987 and I remember seeing him at the great Wed-In performed by Rev. Troy Perry. He was an active member of the Desert and Mountain States Conference as a Utah delegate, he was involved with Queer Nation, was on the steering committee for the Utah delegation for the 1993 March on Washington. If there was a march or a demonstration, or a protest Val was generally there. Val could be caustic sometimes and usually had a sardonic sense of humor but he was a dedicated soldier fighting for Gay rights in Utah as can be seen by the many letters to the editor printed under his name. He received a Dr. Kristen Ries Award in 1993 along with Ben Barr and Kathy Worthington. That was the calibre of his character that he is forever linked with Ben and Kathy. he was. We did not always agree on issues and I am not sure that he even liked me but I always admired his love and dedication to his people during the darkest period of our history. I am glad he lived to see Marriage Equality happen in his life time. For those who knew him, argued with him, laughed with him, fought the good fight with, partied with him, and loved him there is a hole in our community that few will ever rise to the occasion to replace. Good night Sweet Prince

Val Mansfield 17 November 1956 9 September 2015Interesting day ...went and saw my financial advisor about retirement income. He relieved a lot of anxiety and it looks like I will be fine...then I heard the sad news about long time active Val Mansfield...then off to Jim Dabakis soirée and finally home to crank out a 1200 word column for Lambda Lore just under the deadline... So goodbye September 10, 2015 and goodnight all... Goodnight Salt Lake PS feeling much better Proud to support our Senator as he launches his new TV SHOW and UP, Utah Progressives! Just got home from Jim Dabakis kickoff party for his Sunday morning TV program... So nice to have a liberal progressive on the air... Sat and visited with Charles Lynn Frost while munching on cheese and water ... Lol saw a lot of nice people there like Patricia Ann Jarvis and Boyer, David Andreason, Duane Jennings and hubby Brian G. Benington... Beautiful September evening. Still hard to believe that Val is gone At Jim’s event while mingling a gentleman starts a conversation saying you must be a St. Louis Fan...I looked at him kind of puzzled and he says Your hat...it has the St. Louis logo on it... I said "Oh? I only bought it for the color!" A classic example of the difference between a Straight man and a Gay man lol He knew his sports teams ...I knew I wanted a bright canary yellow hat... 😎

·         Jamie Turnbow Before I assume things and didn't know him so don't know situation how did Val die? Wasn't he the one you wanted to do the logo for our pride out of pride thing?

·         Benedgar Yes that was Val ...he had a mass on his brain stem and it killed him...

·         Jamie That's sad.. I'm sorry for your loss. Makes me sad.

·         Benedgar Regarding Gay Men Aloud This isa  message Jerry Buie sent me... How should I respond? Suggestions?  Hey Ben:  what has happened to gay men aloud?  This is your group?? I remember seeing a page and requesting to be added to the group..... Now the group seems to be gone.  Between sage and pride counseling I'd like to get people involved... Was the group taken down? Anyone know Brent Barron? He requested to join... Nothing much on his FB page

·         Kent I don't know Brent Barron. As far as Jerry goes, I don't know him. I only know what you and Charles have told me. Based on that information, I'd be reluctant to give him any information. What are you two thinking?

·         Benedgar I am reluctant to include people who are associated with the Pride Center and SAGE in general because I feel that their actions or lack thereof was one of the reasons we felt a need to create a group for Gay men. I am reluctant about Jerry because he sees Gay people as income and is really a part of Gay Inc that has failed us as a people. Reaching out to me is a sign how desperate Jerry wants to infiltrate the group and yes I mean infiltrate.  I would hate for Jerry to use the group to promote his social work income. I know some people who have gone to Jerry for therapy and have been helped but everything Jerry is involved in has a financial incentive for him. I really don’t know Jerry personally well enough to dislike him but the interaction I have had with him and his organizations tells me he's LGBTQI and not of my tribe.

·         Kent I'm good with all of that, Ben. How do you communicate that to him? He doesn't sound like one you can ignore and he'll go away.

·         Benedgar I know ... I will have to think about it...

·         Charles Lynn Jerry is a gossipy, controlling, mess. He dominates all groups, and he thinks he's the smartest leader, therapist in the county. If he were to join it would be out of pure infiltration as to what he could take, use, share, gossip about, and financially benefit from. I SAY a Firm No to Jerry. He has been whining to Kip and Doug about joining. He and Richard Starley are birds of a feather, and would bring argumentative group gatherings, etc. I say no to both of those SAGE leaders. Now Kip Swan and Doug White I trust immeasurably. Brent Barron is another of Lon's friends I think. He is harmless and could benefit from this a lot. Did Jerry reach out to you Ben? What the conversation if you don't mind sharing briefly. What did you tell him? He is terribly bothered by not be admitted to the group. He focuses on drama, wherever and whenever he can get it, and THIS is his new quest to get admitted. He'll use discrimination and exclusion, but we can (especially me) can share the MANY, MANY reason why he is not a good fit for the purpose of this group. He will try to take it over, and he will plot and share all our meeting conversations with his buddy Kent Frogley. There I have said my piece. Sorry if it sounds strong, but it comes from long time experience with this controlling and manipulative person.

·         Benedgar I posted the message he sent me at the beginning of this thread. I haven't said anything to him yet. Never considered for a moment of letting him be part of the group. I was looking for suggestions how to tactfully tell him this group would not be a good fit for him

·         Kent I was wondering about a tactful way to say no, too. It sounds like his personality needs to have more of a direct NO!

·         Charles Lynn I am sorry, I did not see the message from Jerry, but that is quintessential Jerry Buie, asking and innocuous question, and acting all uninformed, and then digging for more. He knows it is the three of us, because Kip and Doug have told him so. He knows from the QSL article that I am involved, and he knows my graphic design style very well, and knows the AD was created by me. He is trying to divide and conquer with his little "I know this is your group, what happened" question. I suggest a simple and forward response. Something like this. "Jerry, Gay Men Aloud is a closed group for a reason, alignment, trust, and the general overall good will of the aging Gay male population. The 3 founders of the group reserve the right to accept or not accept people into the group." He knows why he is not invited, nor welcome, and this is his modus operandi. He'll send you a response email telling you why he is all the things the group requires. My suggestion is a no reply and then let him be. I would tell him the names of the 3 founders, so he knows for sure this is not "your group." He also knows we have been discussing this for months and months now.

·         Kent Charles, I just got off the phone with Ben and we came to the same conclusion. You and Ben have my 100% support with the "Jerry" issue.

 

11 September 2015 Friday Day of Remembrance

I went out to Daybreak this evening to attend Kimberlee Gile’s 50th birthday party. Hardly can believe she is 50 now. When I first met her in 1997 she was just 32 years old. I made a Carrot Cake with cream cheese frosting for her birthday because I doubt whether anyone was going to bake her a cake. Other than making the cake I cleaned the house pretty good, changed sheets and clean the bathroom because Kyle Daniels said he was coming over after work but again he flaked off. He wanted to come over after 5 pm but I said no can do because of the party. So he said let’s try for Sunday. I am not holding my breath. Actually it was fine that he canceled because we would have had very little time before Mike came over to pick up Coco. Mike is taking his trailer down so he can drink and spend the night. Anyway, Ieft about 5:30 and went down Redwood because I knew the freeway would be crazy with rush hour traffic. It took me almost an hour to get down there because I got lost because I didn’t know that their street name had been changed. Ugh! But it was fine. I also brought some tomatoes from the garden and a birthday card where I wrote that Kimberlee was my family of choice. Gay Elder and her cousins all came up from Las Vegas and her dad and step mom were in from Florida. It was a nice mild evening and it was good to catch up with the Giles. Of course my carrot cake was a hit. It always is. I told them it was the best carrot cake and I think they thought I was bragging until they had some and everyone said it was the best cake ever. I just smiled and said I know and I will give Kimberlee the recipe so she can share it. Michael was really getting drunk and everyone else was getting there but I just had a bowl of chili and some water. I said my goodbyes at 9:00 and then headed home which only took about 25 minutes on Bangerter at that time of night. I never did hear from Kyle. My leg is still real sore where something bit me but with all the antibiotics I am still taking it should heal that too. A Hungarian camerawoman was fired after being caught on camera tripping refugees running from the police. These freshmen tea party Michigan legislators had based legislation on their Christian beliefs. They introduced several anti-marriage equality bills to attack Gay marriages. So to cover up their adultery he concocted a scenario where he said he was being black mailed by a Gay hustler to make the idea of an affair with a woman less credible! Proof that teabagger are mentally unhinged. The 2 districts they had represented about 180,000 are now without representatives LOL That's what you get for electing Tea Baggers Here is a letter that my 6th grade student wrote about his feelings from 11 Sept 2001.  

·         13 September 2001 Dear America My name is Grant. I am 11 years old and I'm really sad what happen to America but the terrorist sink as low as the dirt. They thought they won but they didn't. Some people in Afghanistan had no choice to celebrate because some of them had a gun pointed at them.  The man who did this must've really hated America. Why would anybody hate America. We're so sad right now but that doesn't mean we're going to curl up in a little ball and die because if we did do that they win. Thats why we don't show that we're scared we show them that we're stronger. They can blow up buildings they can destroy land marks and symbols but they can't take away our freedom. Just remember the firefighters who were running into the falling Trade buildings to rescue lives so whenever you feel sad think about the firefighters and America the land of the free and home of the brave. PS thanks for your time. Sincerely Grant

·         Bill Poore All the men that responded from the fire station around the corner from where I lived on Christopher Street died that day......I get sick to my stomach if I even think about those boys....and they were just boys.

·          Hello everyone. This is Val's friend John Bennett. Thank you for all your wonderful posts of loving support at this really difficult time. There have been a lot of questions about a memorial so I wanted to post that QUAC has agreed to do a "pink flamingo" tribute to Val at the Fairmont pool at 11 AM on a Sunday to be determined shortly. After that performance we will invite people to congregate at Club Tryangles for a barbecue. This was Val's usual Sunday routine and we thought it fitting to honor him in this way. Once the date has been determined it will be posted here.

 

12 September 2015 Saturday

Two and a half hours of yard work is enough for one day...filled another large garbage can with yard waste but I think my front yard is done...just maintain it I suppose. I got a letter from Kyle Foote today dated the 4th. Why is it that some days I can get a letter within 3 days and other times it takes 8 days like this one did. Mostly talked about his cooking class and how he is enjoying it but he was frightened a little I think when his friend went before the Parole board with favorable reports from his therapist and others and had a clean record but the parole board sent him back to “serve natural life”. So Kyle is now worried that they might keep him in Prison the full 15 years rather than releasing him next year.

·         Benedgar Jerry Buie just contacted me again like a blood hound so this is what I sent him...    “Hi Jerry...I've been  taking a break from things informing old friends of the devastating news of Val Mansfield’s death and dealing with some of my own health issues.  To answer your questions about Gay Men Aloud it is not my group solely but a shared project that I administer with  two others.                                         I really don't think the group would be a good fit for you as we want to take a break from LGBT anything and just concentrate on celebrating Gay men exclusively ... It's not an entirely open group as that we see it as a tribe of likeminded older Gay Men who feel isolated from the direction the LGBT movement is headed.   Right now a decision had been made to only admit people who need an advocacy group and are not involved in the larger LGBT organizations.  The purpose of the group is to be of service towards one another and build up a sense of community again among older Gay Men... We are in many ways disconnecting from the politics of LGBT by simply being an all-volunteer service organization...It's not simply a Gay men's organization only but one that we hope to build into a tribe of likeminded Gay Men... It definitely will not be for everyone. And while we will never be anti- anything we are going to be totally pro-Gay men which in this community may be offensive to some.  But it's not that we don't care about the rights of LBT people we just feel they have plenty of advocacy groups and programs for them.   we are going to create our own space for a very small but neglected demographic.... Others are free to do the same. I know you will understand that we feel like it may filter what some people may say in sharing if members of the group know that Board Members of other organizations are also participating.  We are not here to compete with SAGE and will promote your events but this group's main identity will be of Gay Men, for Gay Men, and by Gay Men who still believe we are a folk and our orientations are immutable. We will be letting folks know if you are not a Kinsey 6 than there are plenty of other groups that the Pride Center is promoting.  I hope that answers some of your concerns and questions... Take care

·         Charles Lynn Excellent response Ben. Be READY for Volley 2, 3, and 4. He is relentless.

·         Benedgar I have out lasted greater foes than him 

·         Kent  Well done!!! Proud to know you both.

·         Benedgar Kent Charles suggested we have a flyer or handout for rules of conduct at our meetings and what we are about to hand out to new comers. I suggested a tri-fold leaflet... I've done them before... I will have it laid out by Tuesday when we met for DI and I will get one to Charles...then if you make corrections or changes we will have time to print them off. I will be happy to pay for about 100 copies and we can just hand them out to new comers...

·         Kent  I think that's a great idea and I'm happy to help with the cost as well.

·         Benedgar It won't be much anyway... You're buying cookies I'll do the printing... Charles is providing a writing board

·         Kent Sounds great!!!

 

13 September 2015 Sunday

It seemed muggy a bit today with temperatures in the low 90’s. Bill Poore came over at 11 a.m. to take me to lunch at the Greek Festival. I had been there in over 25 years. Bill Poore was hankering for some Greek Food and since this was the last day of the Greek Festival he invited me to lunch. I hadn't been to the Greek Festival in over 20 years. The lines for food reminded me of lines at Disneyland. We were in line 45 minutes before we got inside to select food... They were efficient just super crowded. I had a Yeero and souvlaki which was all good and Bill didn’t have too much more than I did it cost him $38. Oh well like he said it was a donation. We watched the Greek Boys dance and then left. It will be another 20 years before I go again probably

·         Jerry Buie -Yes it's interesting.... Is there an interest to promote the group via sage as I would guess many would appreciate this endeavor.

·         Benedga SAGE will always be promoted for  the services it provides for LGBT seniors. SAGE is one of the primary resources that we reference in the group. We will also have a list of counselors anyone who might be dealing with mental health issues regarding aging. We are hoping that GMA will help mature Gay Men who have retreated back into a closet of isolation who have no connection with the GenderQueer Theory promoted these days

·         Jerry Buie Do you want us to list GMA in our newsletter?  The other day I was trying to find GMA for a client when I realized I was blocked.... 

·         Me- It is better to have the person go to the FB page and ask to become  a member. It is important that for our purpose to have only Gay Men who only identifies as a Gay man... We feel it is important to have a safe space for Gay men energy. Again this is not an open men's group but a reconnection to our Gay roots without all the layers of LBTQI on and on. If the person is bisexual or not sure about being a Gay male this would not be the right fit. We aren't a support group per se but an strong advocate for Gay Men's culture, history, community, and sexuality.

·         Charles Lynn With all your excellent description etc., Jerry needs to back off. SAGE is in its last stages, and in fact--near board dissolution. Tons of in-fighting, and no leadership. Yet he the leader has time to plague you. We have LCSW's in GMA, and they in turn can provide referrals if needed. Having been the SAGE Director F/T and P/T for 4 years, I too know of many resources for many reasons. We will never be a case management group, not our purpose, and duplicates the many other case managers for various organizations out there. Good news on the Trifold. I think for the PURPOSE area, you may find valuable stuff in the article I wrote for QSL. Let me know if you need me to send it to you in WORD format.

·          Benedgar I sent the proto type to both you Charles and Kent by email as a document this morning. Feel free to modify ... I think because it’s a word document you can make changes... Charles if you want to delete some of it and add purpose you have in your article feel free... it’s just a prototype to show what a trifold would look like printed front and back.

·         Kent Thanks Ben. I did get it this morning. I just got home a bit ago and I'll take a look at it tomorrow with some rested eyes.

·         Charles Lynn I am planning on looking at it on Monday as well. I have the day off.

 

14 September 2015  Monday

It feels like Autumn has arrived. The temperature has dropped to the mid to low 70’s. I took Chuck to his foot doctor’s appointment this morning so I didn’t get home from that until after ten. I worked some in the from yard and even cleaned up some of the space between my drive way and my neighbors who has let it go to weeds. The rest of his yard looks great but he parks an open trailer there and I guess don’t care how it looks. I do because Sunday night I see him cutting metal or something that was sending sparks up and into that dry grassy area and I thought shit all I needed was for that to catch on fire so today I cleaned out about a four foot  buffer between my property and his. I wrote Kyle Foote two letters today, one just kind of newsy and the other a survey that UPAN wanted inmates to fill out about their sentencing matrix. I know way more about the prison system than I ever expected to learn. In the evening I drove out to West Valley to the Hunter’s Library as Kyle wanted to attend a UPAN meeting. It was informative but went longer than it should have so I left and came home to write Kyle what I had learned. There was a debate between Jackie Biskupski and Mayor Becker tonight at the Mexican Civic Center but I doubt whether either will do much for the west side. And we are cut off my trains from getting in and out of the city Redwood Road and 4th west are the only north and south corridors that aren't blocked by trains. That's like only able to go north and South on 4th east and 17th east without stopping for a train. That's nearly 2 miles!!! East and west the only routes into the city are 600 North, North Temple, 4th South and 13th south... If you are having a heart attack ambulance have to detour or get stuck my a train to get to hospitals on the east side. Rich Butler posted that he’s retiring from Kennecott this year after working there 17 years. Chester Nez the last of the Navajo Code talkers who served in WWII died. Japanese Intelligence could not break the Code that the Navajos created to help win the war in the Pacific. All are gone now and belong to the ages. Interesting that the true resting place of the remains of the people killed at Mountain Meadows has been located.

·         Doug Murri I visited the site a few times when I lived in St. George. There's a real sad, depressing and negative energy about the place. Hard to describe. But everyone I've taken there feels the same horrible energy.

·         Edgar Ben Williams Where incredible sorrow and grief and horror is ... It leaves a psychic memory ...

·         Doug Murri Mountain Meadow certainly proved to me that that statement is utterly true, Ben. It's a lush, green, quiet and beautiful valley. One would think that this beautiful meadow would be a place of great peace, beauty and rejuvenation. But I can't think of any other plot of earth that has given me such uneasiness.

·         Dear Kyle, I went to the UPAN meeting tonight held in the Hunter Library that you wanted me to attend. The meeting lasted two hours although it was supposed to have only been from 6:30 to 8:00. There  was panel of speakers there to answer questions about the implementation of HB348 that goes into effect October 1st. Greg Johnson from the Utah Board of Pardons, Craig Burr DOC Director of Programming, and Steve Gehrke DOC Transition were there to respond to questions. I am enclosing a hand out that was given at the meeting explaining HB348, which is the law now that might explain it better than the notes I took.  But here goes…When you entered prison your case manager should have set up a Case Action Plan [CAP] which is supposed to help you meet some goals for your parole hearing. The law now provides for 4 months early release for completion of programs like sex offender treatment, drug abuse counseling, and completing a GED. A person can get up to 8 months reduction of sentencing with a successful completion of two of these programs. Vocation programs must be in your CAP for you to qualify for early release. I asked specifically if Vocation programs qualified and they said no unless they are in your CAP but the parole guy said the board looks quite favorable on taking training that can be used for to make a living outside of prison. The parole guy also said the main thing they look for in a person’s file is “progress.” They said also that the vending machines are what pays for vocation programs. The state budgets $400,000 and the vending machines make $700,000. So I guess I won’t feel so bad anymore when the machine doesn’t give you what you put into it. They said that inmates should have had their original hearing where they hear a release date. I understood that inmates have to serve the minimum sentence but could be paroled any time after that or serve their entire sentence and then be terminated from prison without having to be supervised. They said Release Plans should show what support systems are in place and vocation plans. A rehearing is generally about when a person is going to be released. Greg Burr said he used to be a Captain of Housing at Gunnison and he talked about different  programs for Drug and substance abuse offenders and programs for sex offenders. He said that Gunnison has no program for sex offenders but when they are ready to go into the program they are transferred to Draper or one of the county jails that offer the program. He said that the DOC has not had any increase funding for sex offenders since 1996 and a third of the prison population are sex offenders but there is no budget to pay for more treatment programs.  Burr said that a thing called Prison Ed while beneficial for furthering general education lacks any accreditation. On September 26 all Case Managers will be “Correctional Specialists” that are being trained in Risk Assessment that is presented to the Parole board. They will still be correctional officers and not social workers because they can’t find social workers willing to work in the prison for what the state is willing to pay. I thought it revealing when it was admitted that the DOC  cannot hire the staff it needs to fill all open positions. So I don’t know anything else to add.  Most of the questions from the audience of which was I suppose 50 people were about sex offender treatment. I think I heard them say that there isn’t any CAP program for white collar crime inmates but you can ask your case manager I suppose.  Well that was about it. They used a lot of acronyms for programs that I have no clue. You should also be getting a survey that UPAN wanted people to send to inmates to fill out and then return to them about the matrix. I sent it in a separate letter.  Well its late now and I am feeling tired so I guess I will head for bed.  I think of you often and are never far from my thoughts.  I love you and care about you.  You are not unloved in this old world. I am, as I ever was, and shall ever be yours

·         Benedgar  I got an email from Dennis at the 1st Baptist about October 19th our second meeting in October. I said that should be just fine so let’s hope we start out slow LOL 

·         Ben— What dates do you have down for October? We have a dinner in the hall on the 19th— I would move you to the parlor but the women’s AA is in there until 9 pm. If your group is small we could move to the conference room that night. you can seat about 30 folks in there. Let me know Dennis

 

15 September 2015 Tuesday

I usually don’t Warch the morning news but I did today and I guess the polygamist community of Short Creek was hit by a flash flood that washed away a polygamy family with about  13 people being killed mostly children. I added Charles’ comments to the flier I made for GMA to be able to hand next Monday. Then I sent off the last of three letters I sent to Kyle about UPAN this morning as I left the house to meet up with Kent Scadlock at Deseret Industries when they opened at 10 a.m. I went there primarily looking for wide mouth mason jars to make some sauerkraut once I learned how packed sauerkraut is with probiotics to help balance out gut bacteria. I found some and bought some knickknack stuff especially candles. I bought lots and lots of candles for magick and just for emergencies when the power goes off. Then we went to lunch and Kent suggested The Sunshine Café across the street from Orchard El. I knew of the place but had never eaten there because they started in 2005 about the time I left Orchard for Washington. We both had the Taco Salad special which was good but no better than I make at home. Funny the waitress was the mother of Amy who did her student teaching with Larene about 2 years ago at Washington and went through the education program at Westminster with Kyle Daniels. I met her once before at the rib joint on 3rd West. Small world. It began to down pour while eating lunch and I thought it was an indoor lunch recess for sure in school. Upon leaving I notice a screw was stuck in my front wheel tire so after parting with Kent I headed up to Discount Tires to have it looked after. They were busy even in the torrential rain and took 45 minutes for them to look at the tire. Goodnews they said my tread is still good on all the tires and they also rotated them for me. I was home by 3:00 after driving in a belly washer on the freeway to Smith’s where I bought some groceries. I sure can be petty at times because I was peeved when I went to the Express Lane and the woman before me had 3 separate orders, paying with a voucher, and visiting with the checkout clerk. All away me other people who were way after me and had more stuff were being checked out before me. Then I thought to myself just shut up I had no place to be and this woman had a small child and probably was on assistance. I needed to be more grateful that I am not. That was something Kent and I discussed because he’s mainly the caretaker of his aged relatives now and I said I feel so blessed that my health and mental faculties allows me to keep up a house and yard and provide for my three pups. I guess I was peeved because the universe was not working like it should. It’s the express lane lady. But in the scheme of things with hundreds losing their homes to fire in Northern California, a whole family in Short Creek killed in an instant, and hundreds of thousand Syrians desperate to get to the west, what do I have to complain about? An extra 15 minutes in an express lane? It rained much of the day and much of the evening and I made a meatloaf for me and roasted chicken thighs for the pups. All though I didn’t eat anything for supper but a bowl of bran flakes and a bag of popcorn.  Spent some time messengering Kent Scadlock and Charles Frost about Gay Men Aloud. A memorial for Val Mansfield will be this Sunday, Sept 20th 11 am @ Fairmont pool in Sugarhouse. There will be a Pink Flamingos performance put on by Quac, then Tryangles for a drink; just like Val did every Sunday for years. Come celebrate his life with us.

·         Benedgar We can refer Jerry BUIE to the men's group Men Who Move lol... Happy a gay group for younger men has started though... More men groups the better

·         Kent Agreed!!

·         Benedgar Any objections to a Scott Olds? I don't know him requesting to join

·         Kent I know he's a friend of my friend Steve Patterson and they work together. No objections here.

·         Benedgar I looked at his FB page he seems like a nice person ... Let's invite and Charles can block later if he objects hahaha

·         Kent Ha! I'm fine with that. Is Charles?

·         Benedgar If not I am sure to get my hand slapped... Lol

·         Charles Lynn Fine as well. Do all three of us know of the object or problem short list of people? For me it's Buie and Richard Starley. I know Kent has Connell. Any others? Ben? I think if they aren't on the short list we can just each approve and hope for the best. Ben I feel we need to send out an event reminder, since we're less than a week from our first big and exciting meeting.

·         Kent That's because I approved Ben's one exception when I shouldn't have. Sorry Ben!!  

·         Benedgar Oh hell bring them all on in except for saboteurs which I think Jerry and Starley would be because they are so contentious...I agree Charles tomorrow I will do a blast on the page to remind people and also to get a head count on how many chairs to put up

·         Kent And cookies to buy.

·         Benedgar Yep

·         Charles Lynn LOL. Who did you approve that Ben wasn't really happy about Kent?

·         Kent I can't remember. Ben, who was it?

·         Charles Lynn, Who was it Ben?

·         Benedgar I can't remember may be Brad O

·         Charles Lynn Dilorio? I understand.

·         Kent Was is Chad Brewer?

·         Charles Lynn I think your saboteur rule is a good one.

·         Benedgar  I think so... I once told him to go fuck himself and the horse he rode in on lol

·         Charles Lynn The exciting thing, is word is getting out. People are telling other Gay Men, and they are wanting to be involved, and for the right reasons.

·         Benedgar The Men Who Move group has 18 members

·         Charles Lynn The word "mature" will keep a lot away--that would not be a good fit. Although there are those that are interested in hanging with mature, intelligent, wise, and life experiential Gay men. What the Fuck is the Men Who Move, and who started it?

·         Kent I agree. It's exciting we're looking at 133 members as of today.

·         Benedgar Yep and if they all come on the 19th were screwed lol

 

16 September 2015 Wednesday.

I had a restless sleep getting up to pee and the rash on my right leg is coming back. You’d think with all the anti-biotics I have been taking that would clear up most anything I have. Anyway it itches and I have to be careful not to scratch because I don’t want another infection. Since I couldn’t sleep I just got up at 4:30 and tested my blood. 66. No wonder I was woken up. So I fixed me a good breakfast of Sausage and scrambled eggs. It rained almost the entire day. A Torrential rain here in Westpointe about 10 am and the birds are squawking to beat the band...and a whole flock of birds flew out of the trees...never seen it before...made me think the maybe another storm is coming...it certainly is soup weather...I put on a crock of pinto beans to cook over night...so I guess I better bake some corn bread while I am at it...I am going to make a couple of jars of sauerkraut today to start fermenting... Homemade sauerkraut has the highest percentage of good probiotic bacteria for your gut....Had Bill Poore over for lunch. Fixed meatloaf, Green beans, summer squash, and pinto beans. Also made some corn bread and banana bread. I mean how can you have beans without corn bread... Unnatural... I made three jars of cabbage that in 10 days will be sauerkraut! Yummy... Bill suggested taking classes at the U because seniors our age can take a class for $25 and I suggested we take a Gender Theory class and shake things up... I can see Bill and I being escorted off campus by University Security but it would be so worth it. In the afternoon I went out to best buy to get a new ink cartridge for the print. That was $75. It was a laser printer cartridge so I hope it lasts me a good long while. I made some French onion soup for this evening. It’s that kind of weather. Super good and easy. I sent home half the meat loaf and banana bread with Bill and I gave the rest to Mike Romero when I took Coco home.  Just watched Cry Baby and curled up in bed. The Republicans had another debate but just a bunch of pathetic sociopaths out of touch with reality and delusions of grandeur.

·         Charles Lynn Men Who Move  was started by peter stoker, as a way to get information about STI's and HIV/AIDS to a younger gay men who have sex with men population. Hard to access, besides online or at few bar nights, especially designed for young thinks of all colors. Peter works for SL County Health Dept, in charge of STI's etc. We'd better plan for the bigger room? Are we always going to be ousted if Dennis Mc. gets another group? If so, we may need to re-think the Baptist church.

·         Benedgar Men who Move? Site says some guy named Chord

·         Charles Lynn Chord wrote the article for QSL, but Peter is the organizer of the group.

·         Benedgar Yes but let's see how it goes and perhaps this was planned before he scheduled us ... Gotcha

·         Kent  The acronym MWM means something entirely different to me.

·         Benedgar What? Is Peter a Gay man                /

·         Kent Married White Male. Ha!!

·         Charles Lynn UDOH, CDC. HHS, and counties use MSM because it is the largest at risk group. Mormon Homos who fuck around, or have Mormon Men fuck groups, do not identify as Gay. Hello, and thank you Utah, and other reason we are so fucked up.

·         Benedgar Lol if this group was not formed to build community it won't last..

·         Charles Lynn Agree.

·         Benedgar It's his job not his passion

·         Charles Lynn Yep. He started the Men Who Move group for outreach, education, and information sharing to groups that are not easily accessed.

·         Kent I wish that group well. Not to boast, but I think we are offering substance to this group of men that is coming together. I didn't mean for that to sound snotty.

·         Benedgar True

·         Charles Lynn I agree Kent. Our group has a much more defined purpose and mission, that group is get out information to young men. Hispanic MSM are the highest infection rate for STI's and particularly HIV. They don't talk about it, and if you TOP, you aren't really gay. MSM with over 55YO is the 2nd highest infection group. TMI for you two maybe, but I think that 50+ group is a bit frightening, considering many lived through the AIDS horrible years.

·         Kent Definitely not a TMI moment. It was going to happen sooner or later. Rocky O’Donovan is requesting to join GMA.

·         Benedgar I just saw that .... Let's wait awhile and see how Monday goes

·         Kent I'm fine with that. Part of me is saying let it go and move on and the other part of me is having flashbacks.

·         Benedgar I think it's better if he's not at the first meeting so when or if he comes the group will already been established ... I almost want to tell him it won't be a good fit for him if he's more sympathetic to the BLTs than the Gs

·         Kent I'm good with that, Ben. However, I can see Audrey II, oops, I mean Rocky, being there Monday regardless.

·         Benedgar Well we have to deal with him then. Rob Cross sent me this message Robert Edward Cross “Robert Edward Cross Hello Ben, Rob here, Do you need any help with refreshments? as in cakes or cookies?” I replied that Kent had this first meeting covered but maybe at the first meeting we could talk about a refreshment committee

·         Kent Sounds great. Thanks Ben

·         Benedgar It looks like it was Ruadhan O'Sheridan that wanted Rocky to be admitted ...I know they are close friends and take trips together... So don't know if Rocky wanted to join or whether Kevin Warren (his real name) just wanted him there...I think we should just wait until Rocky requests it himself

·         Kent I'm good with that

·         Charles Lynn I feel you should send a modified version of the same message to Rocky that you sent to Jerry. It's the same issue basically, domination, not checking opinions, and certainly not keeping the group's discussion confidential. I have learned that about Rocky--a person can learn just about anything about anyone by talking to him. He is neck deep in T sympathy, and I feel would sidetrack the purpose of the group. He has been friends with both of you at one time or another, and now again with Ben, so you two decide, but I feel interrupters will be a distraction for the overall success of the group. I also agree with Kent, that he is pushy enough just to show up, but then of course so could Jerry. I do feel Jerry has a modicum of decorum however and may self-select out of intruding.

·         Kent I'm fine with Ben's wait and see approach with Rocky. If he is a no-show Monday, then we'll have established ground rules and a precedent for future meetings if he attends in the future. I think if Rocky is pissed off before our first GMA meeting he will do anything, and I mean anything, to sabotage our nascent group. Am I making sense?

·         Charles Lynn I understand, however he hasn't ran up against me in this world, and although he is riding high with his Troy Williams' ass-kissing award from EU, he can and would be told to fuck off and shut up. Sorry for the direct and confrontational approach, but i have found the Queer community needs it to be the Goddamned direct before they get it.

·         Kent You are correct, Charles. That's exactly how Rocky understands things. He's been that way since our mission.

 

17 September 2015 Thursday

There used to be a time when Republicans nominated war heroes and generals like Eisenhower for the presidency. Now they nominate draft dodgers and others with no service to their country to be Commander in Chief. How can anyone with an ounce of common sense not see Donald Trump for what he is? A rich sociopath. The Libertarian faction of the Republican party are ideologists who could care less who their policies hurt because it will not be them. The Republican party has been hijacked by billionaires like the Koch Brothers, and Fox News and News Corp who are owned by an Australian Rupert Murdock and Saudi Prince Al-Waleed bin Talal. If you think Fox News cares about America you are an idiot. Billionaires have used the media to exploit the racist, misogynist, homophobic, xenophobic, and Christian zealots in this country by appealing to their fears and their deep ignorance. Look at the caliber of people the Republicans are running for the office of President of the United States... It would be funny except for the fact that it's incredibly pathetic that people in America will vote for them... Look at the picture... these are the men who control the propaganda and lies reported on a so called News media... Republican Liar …Former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee said that Hillary Clinton was “under investigation by the FBI” because she “destroyed government records.” Not true. She had the authority to delete personal emails. Huckabee also said that the Dred Scott Decision of the 1857 Justice Tanney Court was still the law of the land. That decision confirmed that slaves were property and the black man had no rights that the white man was obliged to respect. Huckabee compared Kentucky Clerk Kim Davis to the victims of the Columbine high school massacre. Republican Liar. Florida Sen. Marco Rubio said that U.S. policies to combat climate change would “do absolutely nothing.” The U.S. acting alone would have a small effect on rising temperatures and sea levels, and experts say U.S. leadership on the issue would prompt other nations to act. Rubio stated that his parents were forced to leave Cuba in 1959, after Fidel Castro came to power when actually his parents left Cuba in 1956, during the dictatorship of Fulgencio Batista. Man there are some delusion sick people out there. Theodore Shoebot an anti-Gay former Muslim Christian Nationalist said the was a plot by Gay people to kidnap her and rape her in front of her fourth husband ..if someone called Kim Davis up and said they were going to rape her in front of her tied up husband it certainly wasn't any Gay folks.. duh Kim... I don't want to be the one to break it to you honey no Gay man is going to get within 10 feet of your cooter...

 

18 September 2015 Friday

 Kind of a mixed bag day... After changing out the water in my hot tub...the heating element went out so having my spa guy come out this next Wednesday to see what is wrong but in the evening Alan Anderson came over for chili and salsa and to watch a movie...watched a little of ABFAB and then Red Foxx in Norman is that you? Kyle G. Daniels came over a little later. Alan brought the pups to play here so it was a fun evening.

 

19 September 2015 Saturday

Today is Grandpa Johnson’s birthday born in 1901 Commerce, Texas. Certainly can tell that Corky was over last night from the massacre of stuff toys scattered all over. It is 3:45 and I have done a bloody thing all day... No Provo Pride, no Salt Lake AIDS walk, no farmers market, no yard work, no housework...Being as lazy as Lucky "we're so sorry, uncle albert, But we haven't done a bloody thing all day. We’re so sorry, uncle albert, But the kettle's on the boil And we're so eas'ly called away."

·         Bill Poore- Did you see Obama just nominated the first openly gay man to be Sec of the Army...he is currently acting Sec of Air Force.  This is pretty much should shut the gays up on Obama.  He just appointed the first trans to a big job in the white house last week. By the way the gay Sec is hot.

 

20 September 2015 Sunday

Went to Val Mansfield's memorial at the Try-Angle that Gene Gieber graciously closed to hold it the service. We have such multifaceted lives that only at funerals does it seem that all of those elements come together. There were his work associates, QUAC team members, and community activists from the old days. Val was one of the good guys and I am glad I was there to say goodbye and toast his memory. I took Chuck Whyte with me and saw lots of familiar faces and friends there. John Bennett and Gene Gieber were responsible for having a service for closure on the life of a Gay man who made a difference in this old world.  Dan Fahndrich was there as well as Randy Olsen from Unconditional Support Days. Dan asked if I had heard anything from Kyle and he was surprised when I said that I write him every month and was shocked when I told him that I also drive down to visit him. This evening  I am sitting on the veranda feeding the dogs under a bright half-moon listening to the crickets this last full day of summer... Eating late because I was out with Kent Scadlock getting ready for a group tomorrow. We went up to the first Baptist to scout out the place. Charles never showed but really wasn’t necessary and then we stopped at Village Inn for some supper and to chat... I had a platter of onion rings and a diet coke to say goodbye to summer...

·         Kent Good Morning! We're we going to meet later this afternoon to check out the space at the Baptist Church?

·         Benedgar I thought we agreed to about 5:00 or 5:30? Should not take long ... Just to look at the space and where lights, chairs, and facilities are... Is that okay? I will bring a copy of the agenda we set back in August to refresh ourselves... I hope it's not just us three tomorrow but if so we still know how to have a good time!

·         Kent Sounds great. I'll be there.

·         Charles Lynn Sorry, Just saw this. Has been a hellacious week with work, and a busy weekend with Sister Dottie Emceeing and riding through the SL AIDS walk. I apologize, but did not check FB or email today until later this evening. I will be there tomorrow, and I am sure you two got it all figured out. Please email me final agenda, and what time you want us as First Baptist Church. I have my assignment, signage, etc. ready.

·         Benedgar We looked at the place and we will be able to move some of the Bingo tables and sit by the north wall near the kitchen so you can have a wall... Really not going to be a big deal setting up... I have fliers made, Kent has cookies... The  Key works, we know where the lights are and I will email you the final agenda... We missed you but figured with AIDS walk and crap you might be exhausted and needed some down time with Cash and the Cowboy ... Kent and I are planning on being there at 6 so just get there before we begin at 6:30 and we will be fine... No stress. PS if we have ten people there beyond us 3 it will be a success

·         Charles Lynn I agree, however I do predict more than 10, from what I have heard. I have had many people tell me at AIDS walk, and other places, "see you next Monday, we're/I'm excited." I'll arrive at 6pm to get the signage up and in place. etc.

·         Benedgar If we are starting at 6:30 that means people will start arriving a little before then so it's good that we will be there early

·         Kent I'll be there at 6:00. I'll have the treats and ice for the water container.

·         Charles Lynn I have the large post-it flip charts and markers, signage for directing people, my part of the program readied. anything else you want me to bring Ben? Are you doing the roll or am I? I forget. I will also have Buie/O'Donovan Pest Spray, just in case we need to rid the group of pests. ; )

 

21 September 2015 Monday

Spent the afternoon in the front yard, edging the grass and tearing out some yellow pear tomato plants after harvesting them... Still have lots of big green tomatoes... Hope they ripe before October frost... Otherwise into the window sill they go... Just got home a little while ago from the first meeting of Gay Men Aloud that we held at the 1st Baptist Church. We set up 25 chairs thinking that would be more than enough but people just kept coming and we had 35 attending in all for our first meeting several came who only read about in the QSalt Lake. I really appreciated that Pastor Curtis Price came and welcomed us since we are meeting in the cultural hall. I think the meeting was energetic and it refreshed my need to be with a bunch of men from my own tribe. Kent Scadlock and Charles Lynn Frost are the best. Mabon my favorite season of all...Days are warm...nights are cool...it's also known as the 2nd Harvest or Harvest Tide...it's a time of color ... Abundance ... And change. Mabon corresponds with the sun crossing the equator and the autumnal equinox or Fall... I need to make apple scones to celebrate Mabon 2 cups all-purpose flour 1 teaspoon baking powder 1 teaspoon salt 3 tablespoons butter 1/4 cup sugar 1 cup apple, cored, peeled and minced 1 egg, beaten

2/3 cup milk Garnish: 2 tablespoons butter, 2 tablespoons sugar Stir together flour, baking powder and salt in a mixing bowl. Cut in butter; add sugar and apple. Mix in egg and milk; stir until a soft dough forms. Knead until well blended. Spread in a greased 9 inch pie pan. Bake for 25 minutes at 450 degrees. Cut in wedges Spread tops with butter, sprinkle generously with sugar. Serve warm. I guess the Soccer field Athletic Complex was finally opened today after nearly 13 years. It’s just about a mile north of my house...glad the obstructionists lost and the west side where soccer is played has this great facility... It's huge...The Salt Lake City Regional Athletic Complex will accommodate soccer, rugby, lacrosse and youth football competitions and features a flexible stadium field and room to accommodate multiple, simultaneous events as well as large tournaments. The facility creates great new playing space for local athletic teams as well as a venue capable of hosting competitions and tournaments for Salt Lake City high schools, youth and adult club teams and regional events. The Salt Lake City Regional Athletic Complex is located at 1900 West and 2200 North between I-215 and Redwood Road.\

·         Me to Bill Poore-Thanks for coming and being supportive... I am sorry about your hearing aid. I hope you do take them to the VA...It must be extremely frustrating ... want to come over tomorrow for dinner? How about 6 you like homemade mushroom soup?

·         Bill - love it with crackers

·         Me- You got it…What time to you go swimming tomorrow? Kent and Charles just nailed me for a 6 pm meeting Tomorrow ... We can have a late lunch or early lunch I am flexible...

·         Bill - that is ok, go to the meeting. You should discuss the closed meeting policy.....that seemed a little awkward tonight or was it just me. I am teaching both tomorrow and Thurs 9:10 to 11: then swim actually 1 to 3. so free any other time.

·         Benedgar to Kent Scadlock  I think we are good to go ... Should we keep a roll or just keep a mental tabulation who came... A roll might be perceived as too regimented... I know between the three of us we will know who is there... But I agree that after not coming at all perhaps through the first cycle of the three of us that would be January we drop them from FB.... But if you think we need one I can bring a tablet or I can just take notes while you do your chart thing... Any objections to the two people requesting to join... Campbell Rainy and a Harmon I think ... I am good

·         Kent I'm fine with the 2 people requesting. I'll have a legal pad for signups for the homo teaching if we want to note people attending.

·         Benedgar I will go ahead and add them so they can attend tonight if they want

·         Kent Great!

·         Benedgar Charles when do you want to get together...Kent and I are free tomorrow

·         Kent If not tomorrow, Thursday works for me too.

·         Benedgar Same but sooner the better while our minds are fresh...

·         Kent Also, thank you both! I'm so pleased with how things went and so happy with the turn out.

·         Benedgar Charles we made 43 dollars in the cigar box and I told Kent to take out what he spent on refreshments but he only took out 10 and donated the rest. So we have $33 to donate to 1st Baptists... For October I think I will just bake four loaves of banana bread and provide that with the cookies left over that I took home and put in the freeze  for October's meeting... Are you okay with donating the money or do we need any seed money? I can't think what for...

·         Charles Lynn I'm at work now. Give me until 11pm or do and I'll check my Google Calendar. If tomorrow would have to be 8:30am when I get done with the radio on X96, or preferably late afternoon after I get up and take Cash for a long walk. Not sure if that works for you two. I have to check calendar and I'll confirm in a while. Crazy pants night at work, but it'll settle by 11 or so. I'm very encouraged by the turn out and response. We owe Kip a real thank you for getting us out/off of the negative couple of voices. I learned afterwards who the Buie plant was, and who was not. The short guy with striped shirt and white hair was just unaware. It was the dude by Ruan who was the plant. I would recommend we have a small petty cash fund, printing, ink, supplies presenters might need, refreshments that we purchase, etc. etc., not more than $200. I think after that we should wait and give the pastor a check of some substance--say $100. And then do that regularly. Curtis told me "they are very happy to host us and consider it an honor we chose them." I think they'll be fine with a $100 donation now and then. Your thoughts?

·         Kent I like the idea of a reserve for misc. expenses that Charles mentioned and then the donation to the church. I can't imagine anyone would have a problem with that.

·         Benedgar I am okay with that ... How should we save the money?

·         Kent In a coffee can under the mattress for Buddy and Daisy to protect it.

·         Benedgar I can do that... We are all trust worthy but would like two people to count the money each meeting and I can keep a ledger....right now we have $33

·         Kent I'm fine with that Ben.

·         Benedgar At the postmodern for each meeting we can discuss if supplies or something is needed and I can get the money to whoever needs it... Should we post how much money was donated and where it is going? I'd like to be as transparent as possible unlike other organizations

·         Charles Lynn I think you should keep. You two count and verify. Let's not get too formal. I think you should report live at meetings what we have in petty cash and when you make a $100 donation to the church for facility usage. People do trust, and I believe they trust us.

·         Kent I'm good with Charles' suggestion. If we were dealing with large amounts of cash, I think we'd have to have a more thorough accounting. Also, if tomorrow works for you Charles, the afternoon is better for me.

·         Charles Lynn Thank you Kent. Like I said-I have to do X96 at 8am with WHAT WOULD SISTER DOTTIE DO? Then I usually go right home, walk the dog quickly and sleep, because I am old, and tired, and ornery by then. Is 5pm too late for you two gentlemen to meet? Do you want to do coffee (maybe too late, some decaf) or grab a lite bite and debrief at 5 or even 6. I can do either and will leave it up to you two. I can also meet any morning earlier for coffee (after my night shifts this week.) I do that with early rising folks all the time. Meet for coffee etc. say around 8ish? That gives me time to get home, walk Cash, and then meet people for a shorter meeting. If you want me ALERT, PERKY, and extra SWEET the afternoon is best for that. Chime in you two. Also, if it is best that you two meet, without me for the post mortem of the 1st meeting, I am fine with that as well. I know my schedule is the difficult one. We can always meet on weekends too, which are typically free for me. I think sharing our perceptions of what we saw and what we heard collectively as well as individually is of tremendous benefit and will help us shape the first few meetings to be very satisfying for the members. I was so glad that most felt hearing other mature Gay male stories would be beneficial. Stories are the most important thing that will CONNECT us and form the tribe Ben speaks of. I felt good about tonight's meeting. The time flew, and we are going to have to gently set some rules of decorum. Some people just want to talk about everything. Chuck wants a massage triad btw. Non-happy ending, just a homo teaching massage triad. Lord help me. He corners me instead of telling this shit to Ben. Thank God Brent Marrott saw me cornered and came and rescued me, or I'd still be at First Baptist listening to his ideas. Love him, but we may have a few we will need to remind. Pleasure working with both of you.

·         Benedgar 5:45 works ... I feed the dogs at 5

·         Kent 5:45 works for me too.

·         Charles Lynn Perfect. 5:45pm it is. Our regular place, or somewhere else Uncle Ben?

·         Kent I like the idea of a lite supper.

·         Charles Lynn As do I. How about Paradise Bakery on 400 S. and 600-700 East?

·         Benedgar Stick with tried and true

·         Charles Lynn Oh My.

·         Benedgar Lite supper is fine with me too... I'm good

·         Charles Lynn So bad Chinese, West of Redwood?

 

22 September 2015 Tuesday

Time passes and you lose contact with people who were once an important part of your life. I met Mike Howard in 1986 as a member of the Restoration Church and a member of Affirmation... He was 29 bright, vivacious, cute as could be and exploring his spirituality as a Gay man...we were so close we once considered a plural marriage...however I went on a different path and he on his and I carried sweet memories of him from those difficult years of coming out and leaving an unauthentic life behind. Willy Marshall informed me of his passing just yesterday and it's ironic that tomorrow will be the anniversary of his death ... I last saw and visited with him in 2007 and it was a sweet nostalgic visit not knowing he was so ill that he would be gone the next year. I met his family once and they were good welcoming people...however all traces of Mikes authentic life was erased in his obituary. Not a mention of his being Gay or being in a long term relationship or that he was an Apostle in a Gay Mormon sect... Just that he had gone on an LDS mission... I see this so often how Gay men lives are exterminated in Utah LDS obituaries.... tragic and wrong... It tells the world they were ashamed that they did not value their son's life journey.... Some of you may remember Mike. He was a sweet sensitive and loving soul...

·         Michael Sherman Howard, 51, peacefully, and with grace and dignity, passed away on September 23, 2008 at the home of his parents in Lehi, Utah after a long and patient struggle with cancer. He was born to Ken and Rae Howard on June 9, 1957 in Provo, Utah. He was the oldest of 4 children and is survived by Scott (Kimberli) Howard, Dallas (Rich) Harris, Rachel (Todd) Humphrey, his parents and 19 nieces and nephews. Jimmy Olsen (Jack Larson) has died also... RIP Boy Reporter on Superman and openly Gay. I baked an Apple Scone to celebrate Mabon or Autumn and a crock pot of creamy mushroom soup... Bill Poore came coming over after exercising at the VA pool to share... In the evening about 5:45  met up with Kent and Charles to discuss the meeting yesterday. We met at Paradise Café and were there until nearly 8 pm. We discussed how our October meetings should be set up. Afterwards went to Trader Joes for the first time in 30 years with Kent. It was just next door but nothing there I couldn’t live without for sure.

·         Roland Ron Holmgren Damn that looks fine. And mushroom soup. Slurp.

·         Bill Poore It was all so good, then we fought over the film Stonewall, (he did not invite me to go with a group because he knows I hate bad films, he said Charles and I are snobs.)

·         Roland Ron Holmgren I watch every gay film good or bad, plus, while I read reviews, I don't let them influence what I watch. If I did, I would have missed out on some very good plays, TV programs and film.

·          Stephanie Williams I made chili verde burritos today

·         Edgar Ben Williams Yum we should share chili verde recipes...I have one I've used for nearly 40 years that people love.   I just use an electric skillet these days... I have a big cast iron skillet and a cover that Ive had for over 40 years so long I can't remember where I even got it...Its well-seasoned and had many a dinner cooked in it. I also have a flat round skillet... I like for grilled sandwiches or pancakes. They are heavy... I read somewhere that cooking with cast iron gives you all your daily iron you need because it leeches into whatever you cook.

·         Benedgar Kent maybe you could post a comment on GMA about Home teachers... do a little recap for those who attended and an overview for those who didn't and how to get a hold of you... I think that would be helpful and perhaps save some time at the Oct 5 meeting

·         Kent Ben, I'll do an explanation/recap when I get home this evening of the Triad/homoteaching concept.

·         Benedgar Alan Anderson agreed to help moderate and said he had name tags he could bring ... Maybe that a good ideal as big as the group is... I suggested the weekend before all come over here for dinner and we can get a war plan going...  I also emailed Dennis McCracken about needing a larger a bigger space.... Now that Alan agreed I will post the event ... Maybe each group discussion we ask a member to help moderate so doesn't seem like we are a Triumvirate

·         Kent Ben and Charles, Here is my recap/explanation of the Homo-Teaching concept for GMA. Please take a look it and make any changes before I send it to the Facebook page.  Thanks, Kent Hello Everyone, Monday night we introduced the idea of Homo-Teaching as part of the Service Component for Gay Men Aloud (GMA).  The idea is to put the men who volunteer as Homo-Teachers will be assigned to groups of three or a Triad. The responsibility of a Homo-Teacher is to contact or touch base with the other two people in your Triad at least twice a month. The goal is for the people in your group to have contact with their Homo-Teachers in between official GMA meetings. If there is a need for one of the men in a Triad, we are asking that the Homo-Teachers try to fill that need. For example, a ride to a doctor appointment or a ride to one of the bi-monthly GMA meetings. Being part of a Triad is voluntary and not a requirement for GMA. We do feel that it is a great way to provide service to the members of GMA. Also, Homo-Teacher assignments will be made geographic area. I'll be talking about this briefly at our next meeting October 5th and then make assignments after that meeting.  If you have any questions, please contact me via a private message. Thanks.  Kent

·         Charles Lynn Looks good. I think we three need to hear and incorporate what Jim Hill requested. We can do this in our next two Establishing Groups. Small groups of 3 and reporting back out to the larger group. Very effective training too, used by many successful presenters. It's call small group discussion transition to large group reporting back.

·         Kent I did like Jim's suggestion and I thinks it's a good idea for the Establishing Groups, but would we use this beyond the initial meetings? Or as needed moving forward? Just asking.

·         Charles Lynn I think we three need to plan our next two establishing groups to incorporate the small group discussion. We could throw out 2 BIG questions, and have groups of 3 discuss for 7 minutes, then 1 person from the group report back out to the larger group for 90 seconds. The ideas may be similar, but we will also get tremendous diverse suggestions. Also it helps small groups bond and share, just as Jim indicated. Please plan on having this technique in your presentation, I will do so as well.

·         Kent Sounds good. I do like the concept.

·         Charles Lynn Full and Cropped Versions for your use. Brand fonts. Please use only these for brand identification and recognition. Arial, Tahoma, or Verdana

 

23 September 2015 Wednesday

My hot tub guy came out this morning at 9 the same time Amazon Called me about my missing order. Why is it when you are expecting a service man over that at the same time you get a phone call for another problem that has to be taken care of immediately? Murphy Law.. The hot tub repair guy came out right at the same time Amazon called me about a lost order that I had called in about...then trying to deal with barking dogs on top of that made for an exciting morning...but the hot tub is heating now...needed a new heat pump...and I decided to buy a new cover for it since the old one is getting shabby and is kind of broken... So Kyle G. Daniels, yes, the hot tub is back in business. Hot tub needed a heat pump but all is well now and I ordered a new cover which all together was $775... My tech guy said the seal was broken which caused it to absorb water making it harder to lift...it's palomino in color to match my cedar fence.... It will support 200 lbs. so the dogs all sleeping in this one won't break it... It amazes me that so many have their panties in a bunch about the new Stonewall movie when no one made a peep about this movie from 20 years ago where the main protagonist is a Gay White kid... not unlike this new movie. It’s a movie, not a documentary. I find it odd that people who were not even alive in 1969 have such strong opinion on the film...No matter what the PC of today is... Stonewall was about the oppression of homosexuals not gender identity. Even the Drag Queens of the time identified with being homosexuals. More people were concerned at that time with being busted for Gay sex than wearing a dress. Even still...without the leftist radical homosexuals youth movement who organized after the riots Stonewall would have been just a footnote in history. The importance of Stonewall was the emergence of the Gay Liberation Front and the Gay Activist Alliance. Only our Constitution keeps radical Christian terrorist from doing the same here although they advocate it. Patriarchal religions attack women and men they perceive to take the role of women. These people are monsters not animals... animals do not take pleasure in killing their own.  ISIS executed 9 Gay men and a youth. Bill Poore invited me to attend with him... I am so excited... Going the 22nd!  It's astounding Time is fleeting Madness takes its toll... Yogi Bera died today Not a sports fan but he was a legend... even had a cartoon character named after him Yogi Bear

·         Bill Poore So Seth posted a review of Stonewall....I already know the story is bullshit but the review written as trans friendly review says we all know that the people were Drags, trans and Lesbians, no mention of white gay boys at all.  The review is totally offensive to me, it is in no way objective like a review should be....Please tell him the review is more like propaganda out of a radical trans site....total bullshit review.

·         Me- it’s his generation

·         Bill Poore-never mind I already did tell him.

·         Me- I haven’t seen his post yet but will comment when I get to it

·         Bill Poore- by the way the review really trashes the film itself, but I know You will enjoy it because you will pretending John Cunningham is sitting next to you and you have transported yourself back to 1969 and love.

·         Me-Yep

·         Bill-I think Samy Galvez called you a whinny bitch on your post on fb unless he is calling Chuck a whiney bitch.

·         Me-Who cares

·         Bill- You totally handled it wrong....you simply should have said " but I am blanche, I am a whiney bitch"......I mean you should wear that like a badge of courage.  I didn't know Mike was brown.

·         Me- What are you a racist? People have to be brown to be New Mexican?

·         Stephanie Williams Hi Ben, good morning. I like to cook too. Yesterday I used a pork roast and cubed it. We had gotten a good buy on it at COSTCO. but I have also used other cuts, this is just what I had on hand. put it in the Dutch oven that was preheated with a bit of olive oil. The meat was fairly lean so there was not much renderings. I added one BIG Mayan sweet onion after the meat was seared. After the onion was translucent I added several finely minced cloves of fresh garlic. We like garlic, so I did not hold back, ha! I added sea salt, fresh ground pepper, cumin and a little oregano. Spices added to taste. I rarely follow a recipe, hum wonder where I got that. Then I added in about 10 chopped, just roasted off the fire Anaheim/Hatch chilies that were cleaned and seeded. Also 1.5 just roasted cleaned and seeded chopped jalapeno chilies. Poured some water to cover, simmered for about 3-4 hrs. It was slightly thick but I did add just a little wonder flower mixed with water to the pot at the conclusion to finalize the consistency. I have used some cornstarch and water before in prior Chile concoctions. A little different than how my mom made her's, she put potato in her's, which I like too. She used her deep cast iron skillet and I have it packed away somewhere until I get more room. The Dutch oven makes everything really tender and juicy. Have a great day Ben! Pork is cheap here now, compared to beef or chicken so I have been trying to make a few more meals with that.

·         Benedgar Mine is similar... I use any cheap cut of pork and if there's a lot of fat I trim that off and cut into cubes add garlic salt and a little cumin and render it down to cracklin...U cube my meat and coat it with white pepper. cumin, garlic salt before i brown it with a couple of tablespoon of lard (olive healthier but I like the flavor) chop up an onion Spanish or sweet  not red, cook until onions are translucent... then I coat it all with flour then chop up two or three tomatoes fine or (can of diced tomatoes, two cans of hatches green chilies, throw it all together and add enough water until it looks soupy...then just simmer until it’s the consistency of thin gravy... I am not skimpy on the cumin... The tomatoes cook down and gives the chili verde an orange, brown coloring... I got this recipe when I worked for a cook back in the 1970's from a Mexican who used jalapenos instead of green chilies which I preferred. He would also add in the pork cracklin also for added flavor...

·         Stephanie YUMM! I am hungry now, think I will go make a burrito for breakfast! LOL

·         Benedgar It really is good and Michael Romero said it was better than the  green chili that his mother made... I think the tomatoes give a robust flavor without being tomatoey at all... I like the fresh garlic thing but Fortino  taught me to massage the white pepper, garlic salt and cumin into the meat before browning it to infuse the flavors. I use to roast my own green chilies because I have a gas stove but Hatches is just as good. I buy the whole and dice it myself.

·         Stephanie I will give that ago next batch I make.

·         Benedgar I would use at least a teaspoon or ground cumin for every lb. of pork for good flavor

·         Stephanie Thats a pretty good rule of thumb. I also heard from a cooking guy to brown the cumin first in a pan, I haven't tried that though

·         Benedgar I might try that too might enhance the flavor

·         Stephanie Thats what he said. It was on a cooking show.  I did take the tip on searing the meat, then taking it out and cooking the onions in the renderings, after onions cooked add garlic on my last roast beef. It came out delicious and tender. I have been catching a few cooking videos now and then. I am looking forward to cooler weather so I can bake some more. I have some really cute Halloween cupcakes I want to make

·         Benedgar Fall is the time to bake  for sure.. How’s David and the twins doing? Is David adjusting to college life?

·         Stephanie David is doing fantastic and may be ready to transfer later this year. He is a great young man. And the twins turned 9 mos., getting big!

 

24 September 2015 Thursday

Just got home about 9:00 from taping a segment for James Dabakis Sunday Morning UP Utah Progressive show... I met two really fun and exciting teachers there Michael Payne and this woman named Dominique McCarthy Aragon ... Michael teaches at a charter school for the performing arts and Dominique teaches at St Anne's Catholic School and I represented public schools although retired.. First time I actually missed teaching talking to these individuals.. I guess I don't miss teaching but I miss being with teachers... Being on the show reminded me of the good times Becky Moss and I had doing Concerning Gays and Lesbians all those many years ago on KRCL.  I was really taken by Michael Payne. He’s a Texan who taught mostly in Oklahoma before moving to Utah to teach drama. We just clicked and he put his phone number in my phone so we can stay in touch. Is anyone but me having Big Brother withdrawals? Summer is over for me when Big Brother ends.

·         Bill Poore when is UP on?

·         Edgar Ben Williams Sunday 9:30 am

·         Patricia Ann Jarvis Patricia Ann Jarvis I watched it last Sunday - it was great.

·         Chuck Whyte Did they have you sit in a fancy chair for hair and makeup.....

·          Alan Anderson I'm ready for my closeup, Mr DeMille

·         Maureen Aisling Duffy-Boose Can't wait to see it!

·         Becky Moss Good job Ben!

·         Chuck Whyte Damn damn, I forgot to watch it, will it be repeated

·         Patricia Ann Jarvis Ben, you did a great job this morning!

·         Edgar Ben Williams Thanks I didn't watch it...

·         Me to Bill Poore-I am a democratic drawbridge I will go down before any man How did teaching go today?

·         Bill Poore It was actually really good.  I did a good job, I could tell the kids liked me.  I slapped the punks around a little and made the class laugh a lot.  we did some good work. Xan just talked to me and said after surgery today he might need me again Tues...he thinks it might take longer to heal than he expected.  I told him sure. It was a good break, it also reminded me how good I was. How are you. Did you watch any of the Holy Father today...I deleted two Mormon friends on their comments on the pope,...just can’t handle their bullshit.

·         Me-Did not watch any of the Pope but hear it was good ... Jim Dabakis asked me to be on his show and we taped tonight ... I met a teacher named Michael Payne that I am smitten with... He's a Texan like me

·         Bill Poore did you start to want onion rings, or just to suck him off?

·         Me-Can't I want both?

·         Bill Poore - I watched the Pope before Congress, it was very moving.  He was like a gentle teacher reminding all of their roots, their purposes. Actually some of them except the Utah delegation was humbled.  He is really impressive .  You could see they were in the presence of greatest, it cheapened all the politicians, he reminded them what their real job was.

·         Me-I hope they listened but their God is money and power

·         Kent I know this is late and I'm sorry. Here is the list of additional points off discussion that were mentioned during Charles' presentation:  Inexpensive/Free activities • Family care giving (parent, spouse, child. etc.) • Careers/supplemental income • Life stories from GMA members • An evening on Broadway There were a couple of others listed but we discussed last night (nutrition and physical/mental wellness)

·         Benedgar Oral histories was one of the topics that people to be voting for. Dennis has confirmed our use of the small chapel for October 19th. The Gym is all booked from 6 pm on all through Oct and Nov

·         Kent Perfect. Thanks Ben. I was going to approve Todd's request to join GMA.

·         Charles Lynn How many will the little chapel hold? Does it allow us circular seating or jew chairs/pews? Storytelling or My Story resonates much more than oral histories with the general public. Just an FYI

·         Benedgar Stories are oral histories... That is the nature of storytelling as opposed to written history... The chapel is big but with pews and a stain glass back drop  I took a class from Dr Gary Shumway  in 1971 who originated the concept of oral histories when traditionally history was confined to documents and written histories... It's history in the broadest sense

 

25 September 2015 Friday

Had a few people over for Friday dinner. We were going to watch a movie but we sat outside on the veranda where it was cooler and just visited. I Had Bill Poore, Alan Anderson, Kyle G. Daniels, Kent Scadlock, and Robert Edward Cross over. Rob brought some delicious peanut butter cookies...I made polish sausage and cabbage, sauté summer squash, baked beans, Mormon funeral potatoes, a Greek salad, and a blueberry scone...if people went away hungry it's not my fault... Lots of fun conversations... I never met Rob before but he’s part of the Gay Men Aloud group so I wanted to start meeting men from there. He was embarrassed because he showed up early but since I had been cooking all day it was no big deal. He’s somewhere in his mid or late 50’s and had only been out a couple of years. Had been married with a couple of kids. Typical of our generation. He said he was from Magna originally and said the only person I knew from Magna was little old sweet Betsy Larson who’s been gone at least 15 or more years now and then he said that he knew Betsy well because his mother lived across the street from her. What a small world. The rest started trickling in and at first Bill Poore wasn’t going to come thinking I would be over whelmed with so many people but I told him to get his butt over here and he had a great time especially when Kent and he  reminisced about their time in Greenwich Village NYC. It was a really nice get together and after Bill and Rob left about 8:30 the rest wanted to soak our old bones in the hot tub... It was a Pleasant evening and the moon was so bright...we had 5 dogs here and they were all well behaved ... corky was jumping to have his picture taken ... However I know Kyle wanted to stay longer and have sex with me since Alan and he came in separate vehicles but Alan wanted him to come and help him with Bhanni and Corky so we were blue balled again.

·         Me to Bill Poore Kyle and Alan are coming over to watch a movie and dinner this evening... want to come over for dinner even if you don’t want to stay for the movie? Probably going to watch Casablanca...Kent Scadlock will be coming too. Cabbage and Polish Sausages, funeral potatoes, buttered summer squash, baked beans, for dinner

·         Bill Poore-Sure, what time u want me to bring a pie?

·         Me- I made a blueberry scone so don't need to bring anything but your hearing Aid about 6 o'clock... That is when Kent is coming ... Alan is bringing Corky and Bhanni for play date. Bob Cross from GMA is coming to dinner too... So will be Bob, Kent, Alan, Kyle, and you.

·         Me-Change of plans ... Let's go Sunday to Gunnison instead of tomorrow... Greg Allen wants to see Stonewall with me and Sat is the best day for him...

·         Bill Poore- ok isn't your tv show Sunday.

·         Me- At 9:30 but just the first 10 minutes

·         Bill- ok see u sun at 10

·         Patricia Jarvis Ben, may I have your polish sausage and cabbage recipe?

·         Benedgar Oh it’s so simple... fry up a little bacon maybe two or three strips until crumbly ..keep the grease... Cut up a head of cabbage throw in a crock pot, add a small can of sauerkraut, thow in the bacon bits and grease (just about 2 tbsp) just for flavor... I just buy the smoked or polish sausages... chop them in round slices (I like to brown them to bring out the flavor and the throw in crockpot) Salt and Pepper to taste... (If you like caraway feeds a little bit helps with the flavor but I don’t use for company) Just cook for about 3-4 hours stir once in a while to bring the bottom up to the top. Makes a big dish... If just for two or three use just a half a head.  Sauerkraut is one on the best natural probiotic there is better than yogurt for getting the good bacteria back into your stomach. People think it strange that I am Southern and eat Sauerkraut but I think lots of Southerners do.  My east Texas Grandpa had it with almost all his suppers. I didn't like it until I was well grown LOL... Play with the recipe... its crockpot simple especially with cooler weather coming on... Cabbage, sauerkraut, bacon, polish or smoked sausage [Hillshire is good and on sale a lot] and that’s it... I have never done it with red cabbage... the cabbage cooks down do no liquid is needed. I hope you enjoy it...

·         Patricia Thanks a million, Ben. It sounds delish!  I'll get out my old crockpot.

 

26 September 2015 Saturday

I swear Beelzebub and his minions have invaded my house. I've swatted over 20 flies in the house and two little bastards land in my coffee this morning. Ugh Well I got home about 11:30 pm from an exciting but unexpected night. I went and saw Stonewall this afternoon at 3 pm with some friends, Greg Allen, his boyfriend, John Crapeau and David Andreassen ... We all enjoyed it and thought the whiners are full of crap...I don’t get this crap about white washing unless you say a lie enough people will believe it... The story is about a kid from Indiana who gets kicked out of his home by a homophobic father. He heads to NYC where he hopes to get into Columbia and he lands in the village during the summer of 1969. The first people he meets and befriends him is a character not unlike Sylvia Rivera as part of the street kids and Marsha P Johnson is introduced immediately. The only people who seemed white were the Mattachine Society organizers. People of Color are shown being arrested and do the runway walk to the paddy wagon, Marsha P Johnson is shown fighting the cops, a lesbian is shown escaping from a squad car and yelling for help from the street crowd. The riot is in progress when the white boy throws a brick to alert the cops that Ed Murphy was escaping not to start the riot and that was for dramatic effect... NO ONE KNOWS EXACTLY what happened. The riot was spontaneous not planned... The story is about this kid from Indiana and how oppressive society was at the time, who happens to be on Christopher Street at the time of the riot. Much of the movie is his back story in high school, and his family, and even after the riot... The film is a narrative art form not a documentary ... At the end the principle historical characters in the event are mentioned first and foremost Marsha P Johnson... My main objection was how dialog was put in peoples conversations to explain the times to people who never heard of Stonewall and I can see it was necessary to education a whole generation who want to reinterpret the event for their own political purposes... whether you agree with the directors version of Stonewall or not quit dismissing it as a homosexual revolt that established the Gay Liberation Front which within weeks and within six months was on all major campuses of both the East and West Coasts and it was the radical youth movement that established the Gay Rights movement of the 1970's. Those who benefited from all the heavy lifting to enjoy not being criminalized and institutionalized should be more respectful of people who lived through it.  I just barely got home from that when Jim Dabakis called and asked me to go see Fiddler On the a Roof with him at Pioneer Memorial Theater tonight...of course I said YES! But had to change, feed the dogs, and rush downtown to pick up Jim...his hubby was not feeling well and I am a perfect escort...Jim was hungry so we ate at this Sawadee Thai place on South Temple...delicious Spring Rolls and then we hustled up to the U. Jim had front row seats and I just loved the performances especially the dancing boys The dancing Jewish boys and Russians were gorgeous ... Wow... It was a fantastic evening but one completely unplanned. Bill Poore on FB said “You are like a cheap call service, you don’t ever have to buy a ticket to anything.....The last time I saw Fiddler was in NYC starring Zero Mostel in one of his last revivals just before he died. He was so tired in the show, he just went through the paces. It was still great seeing him in the part however....he was a classic. I have vacillated in the Salt Lake City Mayor race ... Leaning mostly with Ralph Becker's supporters but I finally decided to vote for Jackie Biskupski... The ad listing LGBT supporters for Ralph struck a raw nerve... It smacked of pandering to the A-list group who sit in the VIP section at Pride Day and may be in the community but are not of the community...secondly I keep going back to what Harvey Milk said that we must elect Gay people not just allies... We must elect our people who will have skin in the game...we cannot rely on others to do what we should be doing for ourselves...I remember once as a delegate this straight woman came up and asked the Gay delegates to not make wave and just trust that these straight people would look out for us... BS I don't agree with Biskupski's cozy arrangement with the Unified Police Department but the police department under Becker has not been without its issues...

·         Roland Ron Holmgren I thought the same thing when I saw the list of supporters for Becker. But I can't vote....

·         Douglas Cartier I was pretty disgusted with that letter. I had planned on voting for Jackie anyway, but reading that, just cemented my vote for her.

·          Clyde Peck Trujillo The only thing that op ed did was praise Becker for his past support. However, you cannot compare two candidates based upon the past actions of one. Let's look at what either can bring to the future if they want to compare and be fair about it. Many of these A-listers were of no help when it came to helping Restore get things done. Supporting Jackie!

·         Edgar Ben Williams whoever gets elected will serve the city well...they both love this place

·         Bill Poore to me: This is a picture of me in 1969 and what I looked like walking around the Village.  I could have very well been the kid in the film Stonewall. I do know I was hit on a lot.  I was not sure what all that meant but I liked it. Hey, defend me against Seth on his post about the Stonewall.....I called him a whippersnapper and was going to take him over my knee. He said us seniors have to get over ourselves.

·         Me-LOL

·         Bill-He said the new boy is town story is dull.  I told him you loved the new boy in town sex scenes....

·          Me-This is what I wrote:  I don’t get this crap about white washing unless you say a lie enough people will believe it... The story is about a kid from Indiana who gets kicked out of his home by a homophobic father. He heads to NYC where he hopes to get into Columbia and he lands in the village during the summer of 1969. The first people he meets and befriends him is a character not unlike Sylvia Rivera as part of the street kids and Marsha P Johnson is introduced immediately. The only people who seemed white were the Mattachine Society organizers. People of Color are shown being arrested and do the runway walk to the paddy wagon, Marsha P Johnson is shown fighting the cops, a lesbian is shown escaping from a squad car and yelling for help from the street crowd. The riot is in progress when the white boy throws a brick to alert the cops that Ed Murphy was escaping not to start the riot and that was for dramatic effect... NO ONE KNOWS EXACTLY what happened. The riot was spontaneous not planned... The story is about this kid from Indiana and how oppressive society was at the time, who happens to be on Christopher Street at the time of the riot. Much of the movie is his back story in high school, and his family, and even after the riot... The film is a narrative art form not a documentary ... At the end the principle historical characters in the event are mentioned first and foremost Marsha P Johnson... My main objection was how dialog was put in peoples conversations to explain the times to people who never heard of Stonewall and I can see it was necessary to education a whole generation who want to reinterpret the event for their own political purposes... whether you agree with the directors version of Stonewall or not quit dismissing it as a homosexual revolt that established the Gay Liberation Front which within weeks and within six months was on all major campuses of both the East and West Coasts and it was the radical youth movement that established the Gay Rights movement of the 1970's. Those who benefited from all the heavy lifting to enjoy not being criminalized and institutionalized should be more respectful of people who lived through it.

 

27 September 2015 Sunday

Just returned from a day trip to Gunnison to see Kyle and so Bill Poore could look up his dead relatives. I guess the Mormon Funeral Potatoes inspired him. It was a Beautiful day for a drive. I don’t know whether Kyle was expecting me or not but as always the time went by too fast. He told me more about his cooking class and I filled him in on things on the outside. We talked about Big Brother and how happy he was that Steve won. LOL. He said the survey from UPAN was the first one received and he made copies to hand out to his fellow inmates. I told him that Jim Dabakis and I talked about the Parole Board and he said he was going to try and get them on is UP program. I hugged him deeply when the time was up and met up with Bill about 2:15. Because it was such a beautiful day we came home through Manti, Ephraim, and Mount Pleasant so we could see the leaves changing color and then headed back down Spanish Fork Canyon... It was almost 275 miles of driving but saw some really pretty country. I love the fall here in Utah. Bill and I talked about John Cunningham a lot during our day trip and it made me a little melancholy. While feeding the dogs and sitting on the veranda,  I see this squirrel leaping from tree branch to tree branch starting with globe willows all the way across the poplars on the west side... Never used to see squirrels but the trees are a great place to hide. I sat in the hot tub for a bit still melancholy so went out to see the Super Red Moon but it was too overcast so went to bed. I was living in California at the time of the last one in 1982 and it amazed me because instead of see the moon as a flat 2 dimensional disc it truly looked like a huge ball in the sky.... It was a weird sensation. I guess I will look again in 2033. Hard to be depressed when dogs snuggle up to you and adore you with their eyes... Last night I was missing someone long time dead now and Lucky laid in my arms and gave me doggy kisses and brought me back to the now and how grateful I am to still do some good in this temporary world.

·         Roland Ron Holmgren So true.

·          Alan Anderson I was sick yesterday and yelled at Corky early in the morning. He was being his usual kissy face boy. Kyle took him away from Grumpy. But later in the day, he came back to me as if nothing had happened. Dogs forgive quite easily, and love unconditionally.

·         Edgar Ben Williams A lesson we should learn... But hard to believe that Corky could be a bad boy

·         Alan Anderson You are the one who originally called him a bad boy. Don't act all innocent with me!! LOL

·         Edgar Ben Williams Well I calls 'em as I sees 'em ... But who doesn't love a bad boy?

·         Benedgar I just got home from Gunnison and heard Charles’ message. I must have heard wrong but I thought October was going to be Charles’ month and although Alan, Kent and I are going to lead the group discussions I thought Charles was supposed to give the welcoming opening and tell that group what we are doing and the topic for the night  before breaking into smaller groups.  Charles if you would rather just sit out this session that is cool... I just thought you would want to participate at the opening and closing  but it’s okay with me ... I am fine with that and I am sure Kent is too if you need a breather.   Let me know what you want and if you want me to remove your name from the event all together just let me know... super easy... Hope everyone had a great day

·         Charles Lynn I'm more than happy to welcome and greet and do a topical set up, but then you two and Alan go for it. I'll improvise the end if you need me. I have a feeling it'll unfold very organically, with questions for small groups and large group report outs. How's that. I'll do Oct #2 as a solo Presentation and open up for group discussion and I'll wrap #2 up. That's what I thought we'd planned for these first two establishing sessions. Correct me both of you--if I'm wrong or bit recollecting right.

 

28 September 2015 Monday

I lounged around a lot this morning accomplishing nothing until I went out this afternoon to shop for a new doggy door...after 4 years of four dogs running in and out this one is pretty shot and as cooler and even cold weather is around you the corner better take care of it now.. I went to Lowes and paid $60 for the same kind that Kyle put in back in 2011. It was letting a lot of air in. I didn’t mind so much in the summer but as winter is around the corner certainly need to seal it up. I was also looking for end of summer patio furniture but they were still too much. I made the mistake of going over to Walmart across the street and they didn’t have any furniture but they did have tulip bulbs really cheap so I bought three packages however at the checkout the cashier rang up five and because Walmart doesn’t allow its cashiers to take care of overrings I spent a ½ hour in customer service line to get my refund… Ugh! Serves me right. After that I went down to Redwood Road Clinic and had some labs done for Dr. Stoneburner when I see him this Friday. I Ended up havening to wait there too but at least there was a really handsome nurse assistant to look at to entertain me. From there I went to DI ad bought some t-shirts, candles, a cute old fashioned Santa Head cookie jar and other sundry things. After  that I came home took a nap and then took Coco home. Mike is coming over Friday to winterize his camper and move the shelf in the garage to the back yard so he can part his truck there this winter and just use my Sonoma truck. We are going to pick up my hot tub cover also I suppose and he’s going to ask about saunas while there at Soapers. In the evening I worked in Billy Bikowski’s genealogy finding his mother’s maiden name and working on it some. Billy is a 100 percent Pole on both sides of his family. I think when you loved someone, really loved someone, you always remember their birthday. Happy Birthday Billy Bikowski where ever you may be... You will always be my "0h no!" Boy full of adventures and calamities... In my heart you will always be 25 years old...

·         Erick Myers Billy touched many lives here two or three decades ago...

·         Robert Smith peace, harmony and fond memories my friend. (hugs)

·         Benedgar Sounds perfect ... I think people enjoy your energy and would want to have you open the very first real meeting ... Alan is excited to help... Any suggestions on how to divide group into 3rds?  By birthday months by with 1st initial? By just 123 ? I think the more random the better to mix it up...  Thoughts? It's a week from today... Charles do you still want me to take your name off for 0ct 5 so not to confuse anyone?

·         Charles Lynn No, I am fine, since I will be welcoming, doing a quick opener, and possibly closing (depending on time limitations.) Leave my name on, now that I am actually participating is one way. How about favorite cuisines to divide people? Mexican, Italian, Chinese, Japanese, Thai, French, American, etc. If you want me to do that as the warm up, it could save time for the valuable small group and large group discussion. Let me go with that and get your all your groups before you hand out the discussion questions. Sound good? Also, did anyone discover the way to do a Facebook Survey, so we can put all our topics we came up with, plus the ones suggested at meeting #1, for a CHECK THE BOX vote? We may have to create a hard copy of that to take for those who don't do FB, for the meeting, allowing them to fill it out. We will have to take the time to tabulate (which is a pain, but some refuse to join.) Let me know.

·         Kent As far as dividing the group into thirds, I think it needs to as random as possible as well. All of your suggestions accomplish that. So Ben you choose. Charles, Ben posted the survey last week. I just did the survey and made a comment so it should be at the top of the GMA feed.

·         Charles Lynn Thank you I'll check it out. Sorry for not visiting the site every day. Ben, please send a final agenda for next Monday, timeline, and who is doing what, and what that is. Thank you. I now see the survey. Many of the topics we had on our initial list are missing. Did you feel it was too much to put 20 up, or will we do second list later? Thanks for getting it up Ben, makes us appear as though we listened well and acted quickly.

·         Benedgar Everything on your list was put up but in sections because the site only lets you do only so many at a time. Go  back to the page and scroll down and you will see them all Here is an alphabetized Membership list...GMA MEMBERSHIP LIST 21 September 2015

·         A:Michael Aaron Owner and Publisher at QSaltLake, Kelly Albers-Lowe Salt Lake City, Utah, Greg Allen Mortgage Document Specialist at Residential Real-estate Review, Alan Anderson Works at Central Bonds & Insurance Agency, Inc, David Andreason Colorist/Stylist at Salon NV, Joel Applegate Lewis & Clark College, Loki A Bear Asgard Salt Lake City, Utah

·         B:David Baker Weber State University 1988, David J Barker Owner, CEO & Founder at Business Bookkeeping, LLC, Ron Barness Solar Business Developer at Alpenglow Solar, Brent Barron, Todd Bennett, Michael Berry Works at Does it really matter? I support myself, Todd Bertagnolli Stylist Extraordinaire at Salon Zazou, Charles H Bigo  Salt Lake City, Utah, Kirk Birkle Instructional Designer at American Express, John Bonner Therapist at VOA's Cornerstone Counseling Center, Jason Bowcutt Works at Utah Division of Arts & Museums, Lon Breeden Customer Service Representative (CSR) at DoTERRA International, Chad Brewer University of Utah, Brad Burningham Health and Safety Specialist at United States Post Office, Leland Burns Salt Lake City, Utah, Randy Burks Butt Crack University, Brandon Burt Managing Editor at Salt Lake City Weekly, Kelly Byrnes Operations Specialist at CAP Logistics

·         C:Rainey Campbell East High School, Brad Case Owner at Cometz Handyman Services, LLC, Beau Chaine' Director at Aardvarks David Chapin Staples Motley High School Kim Childs University of Utah Richard Clegg Works at Joyously retired Doyle Clayburn Works at Retired, Patrick B Coats The Barber School, John Crepeau Chaplain at Millcreek Home Health and Hospice, Robert Edward Cross Salt Lake Community College, Jahn Curran Thunderbird School of Global Management

·         D: David Daniels Photographer at Dav.d photography Kyle G. Daniels  Westminster College, Billy Day, Steven E Dunn Associate Dean, School of Education at Newman University

·         E: Mitchell Eddards Utah, Parley Edwards Davis Applied Technology College, Richard Esta. David Estes The University of Utah,

·         F: Dan Fahndrich Northrup Institute of Technology Ryan Fischer The University of Utah Tom Folks retired Karl Frazier BYU (Brigham Young University) Charles Lynn Frost BYU (Brigham Young University)

·         G: Eric Garner The University of Utah, George Garff University of Utah, Tom Gosse Works at Zarbee's, Danilo Granados Salt Lake City, Utah, Bob Guymon President/Owner at Thomas Travel - President & owner

·         H: Ryan Hales Clinical Support Manager at Vista Imaging Services, inc. Guy Hanna Salt Lake City, Utah Chad Hansen University of Utah Richard Harmston University of Michigan Larry Herndon Jim Hill University of Utah Kevin Clair Hillman Works at US Postal Service Steve Hirchak Midvale, Utah Roland Ron Holmgren Works at TURN Community Services Appio Hunter Works at Self-Employed

·         I: Steven Ireland University of Utah

·         J: Ken Jarrell The University of Utah, Duane Jennings Medical Billing Specialist at University Medical Billing, Kent Jensen Spanish Fork High, Brian Johnson SUSC Paul Johnson Joshua Jonas Kent Jones Associate Director of Press at Ballet West

·         K:

·         L: Lyle Larsen Salt Lake City, Utah Preston Larsen Medication Therapy Management Team at Veridicus Rx Darren Lauber Consultant at SirsiDynix Mark Lawrence Director at Restore Our Humanity Matthew J. Lyon Salt Lake City, Utah

·         Mc: Ron McCormick Salt Lake City, Utah Dennis McCracken Church Administrator at First Baptist Church Robert McIntier Idaho State University Eric McGraw Actor at Myself

·         M Mike Markus College of Hard Knocks Brent V. Marrott Utah Valley University Steve Mathews Interior Design Consultant at Self-Employed Troy Mitchell Jerry Monson Snow College, Utah State University Brian Morris Courtney Moser  Works at Matrons of Mayhem Steve Moser  North Hollywood High School Daniel Musto Salt Lake City, Utah

·         N Dug Nielsen Starbucks Manager at Smith's Food and Drug Stores

·         O Craig Ogan Sales at Retired Roger Max Olbrot Director of Education at Myotherapy College of Utah Scott Olds Software trainer at Navitaire Ruadhan O'Sheridan Works at The University of Utah

·         P Berry Payne Office management at Salt Lake Trolley Tours Chuck Payne Usher at Salt Lake County Center for the Arts Clyde Peck Trujillo Product Manager at Queen of Wraps Stan Peck-Trujillo Salt Lake City, Utah Joseph Pemberton Scott Perry Salt Lake City, Utah Marty Pollock Retired 8/1/2011 at Comcast Bill Poore University of Utah Kennedy Price Sandy, Utah

·         R Todd Randall Salt Lake City, Utah Joe Redburn University of Wyoming Tim Richards General Manager at Arby's David Richards Salt Lake City, Utah Kevin Riddle Channel Sales Manager at CenturyLink

·         S David Salazar Added by Charles Lynn Frost about 2 months ago Drew Sanders Marketing specialist/senior graphic designer at SecurityNational Mortgage Company Michael Sanders Owner at Now and Again Kent Scadlock HR Manager at University of Utah Kevin Scott Bon Vi•vant Ne'er-do-well Musician at Hard Knocks Tom Shoemake Front Desk Manager at Baymont Inn & Suites Brian Slaugh Mark Sorenson Utah State University F Scott Smith The University of Utah Ron Steckler Library Consultant/trainer at SirsiDynix Kip Swan Associate Broker at White Swan Team, Salt Lake Real Estate Experts, Keller Williams Salt Lake

·         T Bill Taylor [John Cooper] Danny Thomas Works at Intermountain Homecare & Hospice Douglas Cartier Tollstrup The University of Utah Bob Tubbs Account Executive at Aware media

·         U Jerry Urlacher Works at Retired

·         V Joel Jay Vallar Works at Salt Lake Regional Medical Center

·         W Jerry Warner Lead Business Systems Analyst at Regence Jeff Weaver Larry Webb University of Utah Doug White Associate Broker/Realtor at Keller Williams Salt Lake City Chuck Whyte Highland High School John Wilkes  Ben Williams Teacher at Retired

·         X

·         Y Daren Young

·         Z David A. Zabriskie President/Owner at Holysheetmusic.com

·         Benedgar I received this message from Craig Ogan ...I'm going to drop out of the GMA. It's really not for me. Don't take this as criticism of your efforts, keep up the good work..... I am okay with that because I don't think this was a right fit for him anyway and that we are not his tribe...he was kind of snooty when I suggested that people only post on the site things that are pertinent to Gay Men and then he made the flippant remark in response to Chucks suggestion that GMA was already too depressing ... So Bon voyage

 

29 September 2015 Tuesday

Today is dr. Kristen Ries’ birthday. I have a visiting squirrel who is hanging out in my trees and I saw him this morning in the flowering pear tree by my veranda. I guess I need to go buy him some unsalted peanuts so he can get fat for the coming winter.  Made out a membership list for GMA.   We have 140 members on FB.

·         Charles Lynn Who was it that offended John Wilkes, so that he removed his post?

·         Benedgar It wasn't John Wilkes it was Chuck Whyte who suggested as a future topic depression and suicide... Craig Ogan responded that GMA was depressing enough...and wanted more activities... I suggested he and Brent form an activity committee... Chuck took offense at Ogan seemingly dismissal of the suggestion and took off his posting...

·         Benedgar 6:30-6:45 Charles will welcome everyone...new comers should be given a flyer...Kent  will quickly recap homo teachers...Charles will do a quick opening to divide people up.  6:45-7:15 Kent, Ben, and Alan will each take a group and lead a discussion on Maturity, what does it mean individually, as Gay men, and for GMA7:15-7:30... Quick synopsis of what was discussed...closure group hug 7:30-8:00 Refreshments and socializing   Rough outline... Suggestions, additions, or changes?  Then I will email a final draft to each

·         Charles Lynn Less time for me. Cut that back to create more time for large group discussion. Please add 10 more minutes to that, we'll need it. Small groups can take 15 minutes, that'll be adequate and keep the conversations moving. The large group report back is where the nuggets will flow and fall out. I suggest 25 total minutes for that. I had several say they appreciated our punctuality and time integrity, and I feel we need to really adhere to that as a reputable characteristic of GMA. Those are my thoughts, although largely swayed by the certified presenter and instructional designer in me. Thanks for putting it together. We also need to capture the nuggets and share on the FB page, as well as email to the email group. It'll be pearls of great wisdom.

 

30 September 2015 Wednesday

Couldn’t sleep for some reason and woke up at 2:30 A.M. so I wrote on FB… When I was 14 years old I rode my bicycle from Garden Grove to Norwalk about 12 miles to see my great grandma Williams Granny Rose who was out visiting from Texas. I sat with her and had her tell me stories after stories of her youth in East Texas. She was born in 1876... I held her hands the whole time because always said her hands were cold probably because she just liked the affection... I never saw her again and she died in1973 but I had her transfer her memories to me... I was a very different boy from all my boy-cousins for sure but I treasure that memory of holding Granny Roses hands. So ends the month of September the first month of my retirement. I don’t count the summer because that was still vacation time. I threw peanuts up on the roof of the hot tub this morning for my squirrelly friend so he doesn't have to face the dogs...I have to get him fat for the winter...Why is it that this morning I can whip up two banana bread loaves in 15 minutes and then bake them while it’s taken me two days to put in this doggy door? Dad would have had it in within a half an hour. I have been jig sawing and drilling and the hole was cut by Randy Gile 10 years ago so just having to make it fit... DNA says I am my father’s son but you couldn't prove it otherwise. Off to Sutherlands to buy a piece of adhesive tile and to Savers for some baking powder...Need to whip up some sugar free banana bread too but out of baking powder. I also need to buy some sunflower seeds for the chattering squirrel who keeps Lucky entertained. I need a handy man husband...I finally finished putting in the doggie door after going to Sutherlands for some supplies which I didn’t need after all. Why should a little project like this take 2 days? Oh yeah ... I am Gay ... But it's done yay. This is the 3rd one...Randy Gile put in the first one, Kyle Foote the 2nd, and I did the third...the one Kyle put in was shot to hell with dogs running in and out had big gaps letting in bugs and flies... This one is aluminum and I can just replace the flap instead of the whole thing... Home from the reception at the U of U to announce the HIV Archives to be housed at the Marriott Library and named in honor of Dr Kristen Ries and Maggie Snyder... A pretty big turnout of mostly University types, a smattering of AIDS leaders and a few members of the Gay and Lesbian community... I brought Chuck Whyte with me and was happy to see Brenda Voisard and her partner and Robert Austin... I said it's been nearly 25 years since I've been in the same room as both of them...I visited With Toni Johnson and Stan Penfold some... Stan said I was looking good for a 64 year old so I said and a half. Lol Inequality is the root of all evil This from the man who met with Kim Davis and told her to be strong... Hypocrite ... Now I remember why there was a Protestant Reformation. Well confirms that theologians just do not understand the Constitution of the United States and obeying the laws of the land... Old Frank you almost had me thinking Papists weren't full of crap. Well Conservatives now have something they can agree on with this Roman Catholic papist

·         Greg Allen It's bad PR for the pope. But I wonder if he didn't know her full story and just gave the same "stay strong and keep the faith" message that others received from him.

·         Edgar Ben Williams Thousands wanted to meet him and he took 15 minutes out of his schedule to meet with her? His handlers knew the back story... He just flushed what little respect I had for him down the toilet... Kiss his ring? He can kiss my Gay ass

·         Greg Allen If we don't hear the Vatican's side of the story soon and some sort of condemnation of Davis, then I would say you're right. Her team may be spinning this right now. She's not even Catholic! Maybe he talked some sense to her. We don't know all that was said.

·         Stephanie Williams He fueled her twisted bullshit.

·         Curtis Jensen Greg I think it's pretty clear they understood exactly what was going on. If the Pope or the Church thought Kim Davis was merely some benign religious hero, or a person they wanted to dissuade from her activities the meeting would have been in the open. They understood exactly what it meant to meet with her. It reveals the entire trip to be little more than a cynical PR stunt meant to razzle dazzle the media and public into looking away from the Church's record pimping out kids to a protected group of child molesters. We were all played.