Autumn 4th Quarter Journal 2020 October-December

 

OCTOBER

1 October 2020 Thursday

It’s the first of the month and I am Grateful for the cooler October weather after such a long hot summer. October is one of my favorite months and the last splash of color before dark November.

Before going to meet Bill Poore, I took all the dog bedding out of the Honda FIT and took it to the Car Wash which I didn’t think I did all of September. I used their vacuums to really clean out the car but much of Maxx’s hair just seems to be imbedded in the fabric. Oh well. I bought it for them.

I then went to lunch with Bill Poore at Charlie Chows for the first time since March. They finally opened for inside dining and we were both hungry for hot and sour soup. The place was nearly empty and it was almost noon. I had spring rolls and Bill had dumplings with our soup. It was more than enough for the two of us” I couldn't finish the last spring roll as we both were stuffed.

            Poor Bill is fading I think because he’s so inactive and it is difficult for him to breath. He won’t wear his mask up over his nose which kind of defeats the purpose of wearing a mask. He’s let his appearance go also, doesn’t shave, and I suspect hasn’t done laundry. Then of course his hearing aids, just doesn’t work that well for him, so a normal conversation is impossible but at least he got out of his place.

            After taking him home I went to Best Buy and bought a charging phone cord for the FIT. I like to have a charger in the car in case of emergencies. Right before that, since I was out and about, I stopped at Ken Garff and made an appointment to have my oil changed for this Monday at 9 in the morning.

I also went out to the NPR garden shop today before heading home and bought a couple of perennials shrubs for 70 percent off as they were closing down for the season. The guy there guy told me it was the last day. I planted them in the front yard across from each other near the little paving stone path that Brandy Christensen made last summer leading from up the walkway into the front yard. I planted one by my huge rosemary bush which has thrived even in Utah’s winters. I've had it for at least 5 years now and it blooms in the spring with little blue floret’s.

I really didn’t do much else the rest of the afternoon. Kyle Foote and Danny Montoya came home about 5:00 when I was out taking Coco home. They spent much of their evening in the garage putting together two end tables for their bed room. I just stayed upstairs and watched a little television and checked on Face Book postings.

It’s funny now that Kyle has paid me rent, I don’t have any desire to go downstairs into the Casita anymore like it’s now truly his space and I shouldn’t be in there without an invite. Kyle has become a tenant now and less like my family.

Trump is living proof that money can’t buy class or decency but can buy a lot of whores and 3rd wives. I don’t get these people who posts that somehow there’s no difference between Biden and Trump because of the train wreck of the Presidential debates. Do they live under a rock? Biden wants to preserve our democracy. Trump wants to install fascism that increases his family's wealth.

2 October 2020 Friday

I woke up to the news this morning that Trump and Melania have both tested positive for the Coronavirus probably caught from Hope Hicks. I suppose it’s God’s way to shut him up. “Thoughts and prayers and a single solitary giggle.”

Trump's being positive was inevitable .He brought this upon himself. I have very little sympathy for a man who had the best scientific and health advisors in the world but who chose to ignore them” maybe all his faith healers can cure him if he gives them enough money.

The 200,000 didn’t deserve Covid 19 either but died due to his own selfish greedy motivation” In the words of the man himself” “it is what it is”“ you can only mock God for so long.

I didn’t leave the house today of do anything else except writing up my research on Alex Geros the Greek cook who lived on Second South for most of his life. I worked on it for more than 8 hours before posting it to the history site.  Maybe someone will read it.

There's hundreds perhaps thousands of forgotten stories of the men and women who lived, worked, loved, and died on West 200 South between 500 West and 600 West. One of them is about a well-loved Greek man named Alexios Demitrios Geranios who went by the name of "Alex or Aleck Geros."

From a very brief obituary one would never have known about the amazing and colorful life of this "life-long Greek bachelor". He was probably the longest continual resident of Second South” from at least 1915 until 1960.

He operated his "Salt Lake Cafe" out of 579 West the location where Gay clubs, the In Between, Bricks, Club Sound, and Bottoms Up existed during the 1980's until 2020.

After the Albany Hotel at that location burned down in 1919, Geros moved to 565 West where he continued to own his café until at least 1958. I think his story is worth remembering and telling from this lost part of Salt Lake City's notorious west side history.

I spent weeks and many hours researching the life of this little old Greek man who spent most of his life, close to 50 years, living within a narrow section of Salt Lake City in Old Greek Town. I grew to feel a kinship with him as I too moved to Utah and worked a good portion of my life as a cook feeding hungry people. I've been held up by gun point, arrested a few times, and generally tried to be philanthropic when I could.

I would have loved to have sat down with Alex Geros and had him regale me with his experiences” Even though he has an unmarked grave I need to go to Mount Olivet and pay  my respects “

The place he called home for decades is now rubble but soon hundreds will be living and loving where he once lived and worked and hopefully had love.  We are an endless circle.

            About the only thing I did besides write up my research was make a crock pot full of Beef Stew, from part of roast that I was cooking up for the pups supper.

            Kyle Foote and Danny Montoya came home about 5:30 as I was coming back from taking Coco home. Kyle came up briefly to say hi to the pups. He told Danny that the Dinty Moore I bought him showed that I loved him because it was his favorite stew however neither one of them ate the homemade stew I cooked all day which was delicious.

Mike Lee has Covid19 from catching it while attending the Trumps Supreme Court Handmaid’s event. I hope the Mormon Elders are wearing masks and gloves while pouring olive oil all over Mike Lee's head to heal him “I guess Lees holy underwear was no match for Covid19”a mask would have been more useful than his Priesthood powers.  Thoughts and Prayers even if he’d like to defund the Affordable Care Act and put a Handmaid on the Supreme Court

            You should always say something nice about the sick. “He’s sick. How Nice.”

3 October 2020 Saturday

I have no idea where Kyle Foote and Danny Montoya are. They could be dead downstairs for all I know. Danny’s car was parked in the driveway all day so at first I thought they were just sleeping in but as the day went on and I never saw it move, I suppose they must have taken one of Kyle’s vehicles although I never saw one of the Build Team vehicles here yesterday.

Oh well, now that Kyle has paid rent in some ways it frees me up from caring so much as that I don’t feel like he’s obligated to care about me after all I have done for him over the past decade.

You can call me ornery, cantankerous, and opinionated but you can’t call me lazy. I spent 3 hours this morning rotor tilling and digging and weeding my 50 foot parking strip to commence putting down bark tomorrow” not bad for an old man. But I had to stop at noon as I was so pooped. An old poop or is it an old fool?

Even though I am retired, I have had years of conditioning, since I was a child, that Saturday was chore day. So, I did my wash, stripped the bed, went grocery shopping, besides all the yard work I did this morning. I rewarded myself by making an apple crisp even if it still doesn’t feel like fall here. It was too sweet to really enjoy.

I also hung these little lanterns that had been in the hot tub area this afternoon on the posts that hold up the roof over the veranda.

As that no one was home I worked a couple of hours more on the parking strip raking dirt into mounds to haul away before laying weed guard and mulch tomorrow “this is work in progress picture”

This October I have lived in this spot for 24 years. I was 45 and a half when I bought my first house and now I am 69 and a half.

All that is in the news is Trump being at Walter Reed Hospital. Sadly, Covid19 is the only positive thing I can say about Donald Trump and now finally I can say something positive about Kellyanne Conway” Covid19. Also 3 GOP Senators are infected perhaps this might derail the Handmaid's Senate confirmation?  It is what it is           I love how the GOP is getting sick from the Democratic Hoax. The cruelty of this administration leaves me with little sympathy for those who want to destroy health care in America during an epidemic.

But isn’t it astounding that you don’t hear a peep out of Utah’s conservatives about “freeloader Trump” receiving the best medical care in the world after only having paid $750 in taxes? Yet they support taking away health care from millions of America because that's “socialized medicine.” Hmmm maybe it's more about just being hateful than fair and just”

Well, I am done being bitchy about the Republican knuckleheads catching Covid19” in theory it's been fun watching them  drop but in reality I feel sorry for all of them [except Trump because I ain't no Saint]  and do hope they recover quickly”  I know Ben McAdams had a tough go of it when he had it”

4 October 2020 Sunday

I am a little groggy this morning. Getting old now means going to bed at 9 at night, waking up at 1:30 in the morning wide awake, watching two episodes of the Simpsons in the living room, falling back to sleep in the lazy boy with two Chihuahuas in my lap, getting up at 4 in the morning and going back to bed and sleeping in until 7:30.

Thirty years ago, I'd be going out at 9 at night, coming home at 1:30 in the morning, sending a lazy boy home at 4 in the morning, and sleeping in until 10:30. Saturday nights ain't what they used to be” thank goodness.

I went out this morning and decided to move the six mounds of dirt from the parking strip over to my corner yard to raise flower bed up. Now I have a blister on my hand from all the shoveling and while I am worn out it felt good to be doing something physical “I get so ethereal in my mind” doing research that I forget my body needs attention too.

Zane Baum never came over but in the evening I received a message saying that his car had issues and that he’d come over on Tuesday after work to help. By then I should have the hardest part down, digging up the weeds and digging the dirt below the sidewalk level so when the bark goes down it won’t scatter all over the sidewalk. It doesn't matter none. I can spread the mulch myself if I have to. It won't be as hard as shoveling dirt and I'm used to doing things on my own. I won’t give up but I will cuss the entire time.

 I watched the new “Boys In the Band” with an all Gay cast on Netflix and while I didn’t think it was as bad as some complained, I didn’t like the nuances that Jim Parson brought to playing “Michael.” When he descends into his alcoholic hell he never became mean enough.

Andrew Randell who played “Larry” was too angry for the character he played and Zachary Quinto as Harold was not strong enough. Not funny enough with the lines he was given by Mart. He should have been the strongest character as in the original.

 The rest of the cast were fine although Bernard the African American character was tamer and was not as drunk as he should have been, and Emory wasn’t as campy as the original Emory. Still, it wasn’t bad and had lots gratuitous male nudity in flash backs which was a redeeming feature. Matt Bomer was, too me, the most redeeming portrayal as Donald.

As someone who has memorized the original movie I knew where added lines were put in and the words "pickaninny" and "nigger" were left out.

Kind of picky but the apartment of the 2020 movie was not nearly as fabulous and Gay as the 1970 movie and the clothes were not quite right especially the pants. They were too loose and not butt and crotch tight as they were in the Sixties.

I contacted this guy from Silver Daddies to let him know I was interested in meeting him. He’s about my age and top so maybe I need a little physical attention. I’m looking just for a ‘fuck buddy” and have no intention of having a romance that I did with Brad Hart last winter.

I finally saw Kyle Foote this evening when he came up to get something to eat. I guess he had been holed up downstairs the entire weekend, I thought with Danny Montoya but I guess Danny is out on his airline job somewhere.

I finally heard from my sister Donna via a text message saying she was doing okay. I guess that is enough.

5 October 2020 Monday

It was a very productive morning however I felt gassy this morning and only had some coffee before taking the FIT down to be serviced at Ken Garff’s on 9^th South and Main Street.  I went to Ken Garff for a free oil change and car wash. I bought my Honda FIT last October and I already have 7000 miles on it.

            That took about an hour and afterwards I went to Wal-Mart because I need to get a fitted sheet for my bed. Doing the wash this past weekend I realized I only had the one after given so much back to DI. While there I noticed they had a sign saying Free Flu shots so I went to see how to go about getting one. I guess Medicare is paying for the shots because of the Covid19 epidemic and they fear it may get worse when the Flu season hits. So, I got a free Flu shot from a cute practitioner.

When I came back home I called the Wasatch Springs vet because I was worried that Maxx's stitches may have come undone. Yesterday when I was giving him his medicine, Kyle Foote mentioned that one looked like it was coming out. However, while there the vet said Maxx's eye had healed so he took the stitches out altogether. That was very good news.

Kyle brought some new guy, Dave Beers, who he hired to look at the house and all the remodeling that is planned. I guess waiting on a medicine cabinet is holding up the bathroom and Kyle said realistically it would probably be spring before the dining room wall is kicked out. That’s fine with me if I live that long.

I didn’t eat much all day with my stomach being upset and gassy. Not sure what set it off this time.

In the evening around 5, I noticed that Kyle was home. I thought maybe working outside might help get my bowels get moving so I wouldn’t be so gassy, mostly belching instead of flatulence. So, I finished scraping up the dirt from the parking strip, spending about two hours at it but now it’s done. I need to buy some weed killer however to spray along the curb and sidewalk so weeds don’t pop up again. I will look for some type that is not Round Up and more organic as not to kill bees and such.

I fed the pups before shoveling the dirt and afterwards sat in the rocking chair on the veranda with TJ and Taco Belle in my lap as I watched the sun set. It’s still unseasonably warm” nearly 80 degrees.

I tried to watch Curiosity Stream but actually my stomach seemed to just be getting worse not better. Kyle came up looking for something to eat as his stomach was upset too he said, probably he said from beef jerky that might have been bad. He likes those awful pepperoni sticks. Anyway, he found some Progresso Chicken and wild rice soup.

I tried going to bed at 9 as I was tired but just could not get comfortable with my stomach acting up. So, I was up and down not getting any rest.

6 October 2020 Tuesday

I went to bed with a sick stomach and I had to get up after having dry heaves and being very gassy, I have a pain in the right side of my stomach also, kind of down in my gut that kept me awake. I finally got up at 2:30 and made some green tea. I haven’t felt this sick in a long time.

I am having severe gas and stomach pains and just could not sleep at all last night feeling nauseous trying to throw up but there’s nothing on my stomach. I've had stomach issues before but not this bad” but I will tough it out” I need to quit my bellyaching

            I had to be up this morning for Lulubelle’s grooming appointment at 8:30 so I was kind of out of it all day” kind of dizzy. After dropping her off I stopped at Smith’s and got some Magnesium Citrate and some over the counter medicine but if not better by afternoon I might have to go to the doctors. Hoping the medicines will help clean me out thinking that I might be blocked up.

I also went to Sutherland’s to get some weed killer for the parking strip and while I was out there Kyle Foote came home to check on me. He was concerned but while here he also cut some rebar’s that were left in the parking strip when the people laid the curb 24 years ago and he also cut down one of the trees on the parking strip that had died over the summer from the drought. He said also that he put in an order for two cut out drive ways for that side of the house.

He could tell I wasn’t feeling well and I wasn’t. Earlier Jimmy Adams and another guy Brian Devereaux came by the house to pick up a cooler that was in the garage so while they were here I gave them the last of the squash as I am going to put the garden to bed this week as soon as I get to feeling better.

            So, after picking up Lulubelle at 2 I just rested at home and felt worse. I texted Zane Baum to cancel working on spreading the bark and he was cool with that as he was still working on his car. When looking up whether I should go to Urgency Care or the Emergency Care, the U of U site said if I had severe abdominal pain I should go to the ER.

            So about 4 I decided I needed to go to the Emergency Room as I was not getting any better. I called Mike Romero to come pick up Coco and feed the pups the chicken I had roasted for them today

.           I drove across town and checked myself in at ER up at the U of U to see what is going on with my stomach.  They have quite the set up here at the medical center with about 3 guardians you have to pass to get into the building. I thought I'd have to show them the “signs and tokens” before getting admitted.

Well, that was an interesting 8 hours but I suppose I will live to fight another day.  I checked in at 5 in the late afternoon and was discharged at 1:30 this morning. I had blood drawn when I first arrived but then had 3 hours of sitting in the lobby waiting for a room to open up to been seen by a doctor, who was really nice but said I needed a CAT scan of my stomach to rule out any bariatric infections so that was another 2 and a half hours waiting for the cat scan to be available.

            The orderly then about 10:30 took me by wheelchair to be cat scanned and the journey reminded me of “Mr. Toads Wild Ride at Disneyland” as fast as she was wheeling me from one corridor down another with automatic doors flying open in front of my face.

The CAT scan technician was cute and fussed over me even asking if I minded him taking down my pants because the metallic zipper was interfering. I've never been one to say no to that proposition .The dye they injected in me sure heated me up and tasted metallic but not bad. The heat even went to my asshole.

The worse part of being there so long was because, of the sodium chloride drip the IV was pumping into me,  I had to ring several times to be unwired so I could get up to go down the hall to the men’s room. I think I was in the men’s room almost as much as on the ER bed. Plus, the last effects of the Magnesium Chloride I had taken earlier weren’t done with me either.

Actually, I take that back. The worst part was how cold the room was and all I had was a thin hospital blanket to cover me. My hands and feet were chilled to the bone.

Well finally the results of the CAT scan were read by another doctor who had, around 1 in the morning, relieved my original one. I could tell he was tired and was just covering for the woman doctor who originally ordered all the tests.

He said there wasn’t anything terribly serious showing up, so that was reassuring. I was afraid of a perhaps a rupture, intestinal blockage, or even stomach cancer but the doctor said the CAT scan showed some type of infection on the lining of my upper gastrointestinal innards basically saying my pipes were rusty and needed a cleaning out.

So, my diagnosis was "acute gastritis without hemorrhage, unspecified gastric type". In English I had a bad belly ache. He gave me a prescription for “omeprazole”, whatever that is.

So other than a pain in my guts, they said my blood work was "outstanding" and I was told my oxygen level was at 96 percent, so finally they shooed me out the door about 1:30 in the morning.

I was really tired and coming down 100 South the police had blocked off part of the road down from the medical center by University Street for the Vice Presidential debates Wednesday night.  It was kind of surreal seeing cops waving glow sticks sending me through Federal Heights which is hard to maneuver even in the day time but I made it safely home through the dark and quiet streets of the city.

There Kyle Foote was still up keeping the dogs company. He said they were worried about me. I think he was too. He gave me a long hug. Kyle Foote even sent me a video of the pups saying he and they missed me and Kyle said he loved me.

Well, it appears my shelf life hasn't expired yet and I haven't gone bad yet” just not as fresh as I used to me.

Bill Poore as cantankerous as he is”  was worried about me. He wrote, “You went to the wrong ER Ben, find one that is closer to you, your insurance will cover any ER visit. The U of U hospital is one of the worst, it is busy and pretty much tied up with welfare patients. I’m sorry you had to go through that. It makes people not want to go to ER with that kind of wait. I am so lucky I am a Veteran and go to the Veterans’ Hospital. I will give you some acting lessons how to fake a heart attack, which will get you seen right away, then while they are checking your heart you tell them about your stomach. I am a pro when it comes to ERs, lived in NYC, and had to navigate their ERs. You are just simply too nice” you can’t be nice in ER or you will never be seen”.

I responded, “I am a fatalist when at the ER. I just endure and figure everyone is doing the best they can during these crazy times.” Jim Dabakis commented on that saying “St. Williams”.” I wrote back “I have no lesser station in Heaven when I get there than Sainthood.”

7 October 2020 Wednesday

I am feeling better and actually slept in until around 6:30. Still, I took it rather easy and did not do any yard work today. The only housework I did was mopping the floors of pee spots which I really needed to do.

            I was rather a slut today but I suppose I needed the attention. I had this guy named Marty come over this afternoon and this other guy named Jack Rosseau over at nine at night for sex.

            I corresponded with both of them on Silver Daddies and it just so happened they both wanted to meet with me today. Neither one of them were men that I was really attracted to, as I was with Brad Hart, but since I wasn’t looking for romance but sex it was just fine. At my age I really can’t be that picky.

            Marty was 55 years old and lives in Park City. He was a little chunky and had a little more meat on his bones than I am usually attracted to but he came over about 1 and we visited for a while. He’s a liberal progressive like me, still married with grown kids, and considers himself a bi-sexual. That is usually a turn off for me but then it’s been since March that I had been intimate with anyone.

I think he was more into me than I was into him but I gave him oral sex to make his visit worthwhile. I miss that but it’s not truly as satisfying to me as being penetrated. He left around three and I was ready for him to leave so I don’t think there’s a real connection between us.

            I cooked a pot of pinto and back beans and made some cornbread today. I decided I needed more roughage in my diet but other than that it was a do nothing day until the evening.

I took Coco home and visited some with Mike Romero. He said he stayed with the pups until 7:30 last night, when Kyle Foote came home. Mike watched a little of “Boys in the Band” while here but didn’t finish it. Kyle showed him the Casita and the bed he built. I think he must have been surprised that I hadn’t shown it to Mike but I don’t go into his space anymore without being invited.

            Mike said that Kyle was worried about me, especially after Mike told him about the gal who he worked with having had Bariatric Surgery and then had complications and died within a few days. Mike said Kyle teared up hearing that and said that I had 15 years or more left but Mike just said at our age you never know.

            Kyle came home tonight at 7:30 and we visited a little now that Danny Montoya is gone again. Kyle said Danny might be gone a month or more as he’s went back to work with his charter airline company.  I told him that I was having someone come over at 9. Why keep secrets about our sex lives?

            Jack was prompt and I was a little disappointed at by my first impression of him. He was my height or perhaps a little shorter. I knew he was 70 years old and since I am nearly that I thought don’t be ageist. Actually, it was nicer than being with Marty because we just got right down to it. He’s a top, hard as a rock for a 70 year old and I am a tight bottom still. He really was into it and he gave me great pleasure which is all we were in it for. He was never overly affectionate just into fucking.

We talked very little until he was getting dressed to leave. He is a naturalized Paki and been here in the states for 40 years and we both commiserated about how America had deteriorated the past 4 years of the Trumpian dystopia. He was gone by 10, no fuss and no muss, and I’d see him again if he ever calls back because he was a good lover. 

I needed the sex physically and emotionally so I don’t really consider myself a slut. It was more like “wellness therapy” to still be interested in my sexuality.

I was too keyed up to go right to bed so I fixed myself a snack and checked what people had to say about the Vice-presidential debates.

As I was snacking I thought, “When did I turn into my Grandmas?” With all the food in the house I had a glass of milk with cornbread in it and eating saltine crackers with butter. when did I turn into this old person? My grandma Johnson liked saltines in milk but I like corn bread in mine for a late night snack. Grandma Williams liked her Saltines with butter” simple country fare.

Mike Pence had a fly land in his hair during the debates and it was clearly visible to everyone watching and he never tried to shoo it away. Face book lit up with jokes about flies being attracted to shit.  I guess he had something wrong with an eye also, some think it was conjunctivitis. I didn’t watch a bit of it. I am “Riden with Biden”.

Joe Biden said he won’t debate Demon Trump if he's still positive for the trump virus. Who wants to wager that Demagogue Trump will not release his virus status or will lie about it and then blame Biden for not attending the debate when all along he had no intention of debating since it was announced that the mics would be cut off.

8 October 2020 Thursday

It was 87 degrees out this afternoon and it’s supposed to rain this weekend, so I put my summer vegetable garden to bed. I filled up two yard waste containers with squash and tomato vines in which were hidden were two zucchinis. I swear I looked the other day and they weren't there. I’ve got some green tomatoes I will see if I can ripen them in the window sill.

 It’s October and you never know when you might get a hard freeze.  It might snow in Park city this weekend. I left the watermelon on the vine to ripen some more.

I had meatloaf, spinach, red cabbage, pinto & black bean, hominy and corn bread for my supper. My blood work said I was low on protein. I guess the Butterfingers I’ve been eating weren't quite cutting it

I saw a great video of “Disco Tex and the Sex O Lettes” singing “Keep Dancin” on YouTube. It made me miss the music of the 70s when all we cared about was dancing. It’s my favorite Disco song. “You can’t worry about all the wrongs in the world”, “nobody cares how you wear your hair darling” “my chiffon is wet Keep Dancin” I remember going to Oil Can Harry’s or Bitter Street West, the Hollywood Dance clubs back in 1971 when I was in College at Cal State Fullerton.

I really hate these anti-masks Utahns who won't even wear a mask for the 15 or 20 minutes while they are out shopping. When I was in the ER I wore a mask continually for 8 and a half hours until behind my ears were sore and raw and I thought of all the poor medical workers and cashiers and others who have to wear there for 8 hours or longer and yet these horrible people complain they are inconvenient or they take away their liberties by being compelled to wear a mask during an epidemic. 

Horrible, horrible selfish people as our infection rate in Utah is over a 1000 a day with our death rate for the elderly is climbing and hospitals are getting to near capacity due to the failure of the radical Republican ideology. I think we are at 500 deaths now in Utah.

AIDS in Indiana was exasperated by Pence’s failure in leadership when he was Governor but Trump placed him charge of the government response to Covid19. He is as worthless in this health crisis as he was as Governor. He is complicit in all of Trumps lies and an accessory to the death of nearly 210,000 Americans now. A fly knows a worthless piece of crap when it sees one.

Trump’s Proud Boys are now insurrectionists. Conservatives are quick to condemn “Antifas” but not a word against Nazis and Proud Boys as they conspire to overthrow the government of Wisconsin. A White Trash Terrorist plot to kidnap the governor of Wisconsin was averted with the arrest of 13 Trump’s goon squad.

Nancy Pelosi is considering evoking the 25^th Amendment to remove Trump from the White House because it’s evident that he has severe mental issues.

9 October 2020 Friday

I had a weird dream that mom and dad said they were selling their house and moving and that I would have to find a new place to live, which made me very, very sad and anxious” as it seemed like I had no place to go nor had any friends on whom I could rely.

Later in the day, as I was working on the parking strip, one of the Hall’s boys came over to say that this was their moving day and he came to say goodbye. He was just 1 year old when Reid Hall moved his family in, 23 years ago, so this was the only home this kid ever knew. He’s 24 now, married, and has a baby due in February. I think he wanted to say goodbye because I was the longest neighbor he ever knew. I told him that where ever he goes Daleridge will always be his home because it’s where he grew up. It’s the same for me about Dale Street in Garden Grove, California.

            Even Old Lady Hall spoke to me, saying she had real emotional feelings about leaving. I said it was only natural as this was her home for 23 years and where her children were raised.

Strange that I had more of an interaction with the Halls on the day they were leaving than in the 23 years they lived next to me. I doubt whether any of them even knew my name.

Strange too that I would have a dream about being displaced on the day the Halls moved out and also about the same time I moved here 24 years ago, this October” everything in its season.  I am definitely the longest resident in this section of Reliance homes development.

            I worked outside all morning, laying down the weed protector, and shoveling bark into the parking strip one shovel load at a time. The mulch is light weight compared to the dirt I hauled away because it’s dried out completely.

I wanted to get it done before the rain comes this week and makes it too soggy and heavy. I feel like my farmer genes surfacing. It's either this or sitting on Face book pontificating on how horrible Republicans are. lol.

By 11:30 I got it done. I think I was more tired from the walking back and forth with shovel loads than from the actually putting down the mulch. The parking strip is 50 feet long, but now all I have to do is clean my gutters. However, I can’t until some cars are moved. It was a lot of work for this old man especially when I was in the ER on Tuesday.

            Some blue Mexican blankets I ordered last Wednesday came this afternoon. I am hanging them from the railing on the back Veranda to provide color and privacy when I’m sitting on the porch. I ordered some pinks ones too that may come tomorrow

            Kyle Foote came home early, for him, around 5:30 which surprised me. He seemed really tired so I suggested we go get something to eat, even though I wasn’t all that hungry. Am I ever these days? We ordered takeout from Chubby’s and he was too tired to drive so I did and also paid for dinner since he’s paid so much for me.

            We came back home and watched the last of The Ballad of Buster Scruggs. He had started watching it the other day. So, it was good to actually spend some time with Kyle watching a movie together like in times long ago.  I just love that kid.

I am just hearing that singer Johnny Nash died on October 6 at the age of 80. He was one of my favorite underrated recording artists from my youth. RIP.

Covid19 is out of control in Republican Utah. Part of me would like to believe that it is God’s judgment upon the state for supporting the anti-Christ in the White House. I call him the “anti-Christ” now, not in any Biblical end of times sense, but because of his life and conduct which has always been the antithesis of the teachings of Christ. However, I, unlike fake American Christians, don’t believe in a vengeful and wrathful God.

Utahns brought this disaster upon themselves by being selfish, willfully ignorant, and just plain mean spirited. So many think they are entitled to do what they want whenever they want as they are the elites and God’s chosen people.

There are no Mormon leaders, civil or ecclesiastical, who will stand up to the radical fascist elements who control the politics of this state and Utahns are now sick, and dying, because of the incompetence and cowardice of the Utah Theocratic Republican Party.

It's been 10 months since the virus started killing old folks in Washington State and Utah kept pretending all is well and believing in the Anti-Christ in Washington. I have isolated and worn a mask since March and completely disrupted my way of life while very selfish Utahns continued to go about their lives spreading this virus mask-less saying wearing one is  an infringement on their liberty or it's a sign of weakness.

So here we are in October, one of the nation's hot spots with the holiday seasons fast approaching which, because of Utah’s mentality, will be deadly. Utahns will vote overwhelmingly for the Anti-Christ and the Reaper will be waiting in the wings. You reap what you sow

Republicans can never govern well in a crisis” never have and never will. The only thing they are good at is making the rich richer the poor poorer and convincing the Middle Class to blame their situation on the poor.  It's been their model of governance since the 19th Century leaving Democrats to come in and clean up their mess but then the Republicans cry Socialism.

When I was a kid I heard a neighbor, Tom Horan, explain to me the difference between the two Parties. Republicans don’t care if people are hungry as long as the nation’s budget is balanced and Democrats don’t care if the country's budget is balanced as long as no one is hungry.

I know that is an over simplification but it's one of the reasons I became a lifelong Democrat because we care more about people than about banks and Wall Street.

Still, I think 2020 has really demonstrated what I learned as a kid” except it's now Republicans don’t care who gets sick as long as the economy makes Billionaires even richer and they are hell bent on taking health care from the poor because that's Socialism.

10 October 2020 Saturday

Today is 10-10-20. It’s starting to feel like fall, finally, with it being breezy and the leaves swirling around. I was up at 4 this morning and couldn’t sleep so just got up, wrote in my journal and started working on the research I am doing on 200 South.

            Around 9:30 I decided to do some yard work, especially getting rid of the rest of the mulch by spreading it around in my front yard. Well, I feel like I accomplished a lot this past week, digging up my parking strip, laying down mulch, and raising up my flower bed with the excess dirt.

I finally finished using all the mulch Kyle Foote bought for me but I need to get a few more bags to fill in some gaps of my garden. It sure felt like fall is in the air.

            When Kyle Foote came to the house, he wanted to trim a limb off the Hawthorne Tree in the front yard parking strip so I helped him with that. It’s about all the time I spent with him. I bought some colorful Mexican blankets through Amazon, to give me some privacy while I’m sitting on the veranda. The old hippie in me has to be surrounded by color.

            In the afternoon I did something I hadn’t done in over 30 years or more, and that is buy a dildo. I also bought some lube. I went to Mischievous in 300 West between 600 and 500 East which is an adult novelty store. Years and years ago it was the location of the Lesbian Bar “Your Place or Mine.” Mischievous filled a niche that was once filled by Cahoots in the 9^th and 9^th Area before Cahoots went mainstream and tamer. Heterosexuals were mostly the ones in the store that I could see” which kind of shows that times have changed. Young women were the cashiers instead of Gay men.  I don’t know why it still makes me slightly embarrassed to buy sex toys in front of women. I guess I still am programmed to feel shame.          

It was on this very day in 1987 I bought my first dildo in a Gay sex store in Washington D.C. when I was out on the town with Bruce Barton and Bruce Harmon. They are both passed away now.

            Other than that, I didn’t do a thing in the evening but watch some television but nothing seemed to grab my attention.

In Utah news, there’s now 509 Covid 19 related deaths, 83,307 cases of people infected, the state’s ICU beds are at 95 percent capacity. But, according to Mormons “All Is Well.”

11 October 2020 Sunday

We had a nice cooling and soaking rain over night but it cleared up by late morning. The Skies are blue again with puffy white clouds. It's been a while with all the smoke in the air we had over the summer.

            I went grocery shopping at Lucky’s for some food for the dogs and I wanted to buy some artificial fall leaves from the Dollar Tree store.  I was surprised that all their fall décor and much of the Halloween decorations had been replaced with Christmas items. Truly it felt like the Nightmare before Christmas.

            Kyle Foote was busy downstairs doing odds and ends like wiring up his microwave, refrigerator and stove top. About 3 in the afternoon, he came up and asked if I wanted to go buy some more bags of bark for out-front and I said sure.

We went to Sutherlands and while he was looking for some lights to go under his cabinets, I bought two battery operated lanterns that look like they flicker with a flame for my veranda. They even have a timer so they will go off if I forget to turn them off. I think they are pretty and I don’t have to worry about candles and messy wax.

            I made some ham and split pea soup today and Kyle and I had a big bowl for a late lunch. He also said that he had subscribed to the “YouTube Television Channel” and he showed me how to put in on my TV upstairs.

            Today is “National Coming Out Day” and the Utah Pride Center had a car rally parade on Main Street to celebrate it and to make up for not having a Pride Day in June. I didn’t go of course, but Debbie Rosenberg did and she posted some pictures of it on her Face Book site. It looked more festive than I thought it would be.

In 1987 I was one of a handful of Utahns who made it back to Washington DC to protest the Supreme Court's decision that the Constitution did not protect "privacy"“ in the Bowers Vs Hardwick case where a Gay man was arrested in his own home for violating Georgia's Sodomy law. In Utah at the time, it was also illegal to have anal sex as it was criminal.

    I was 36 years old at the time, and I found a group from Orange County with whom I had a picture taken because I am still at heart a California boy even though I have lived in Utah longer than Brigham Young.

Being in Washington was one of the highlights of my life” and when I returned to Utah I was determined to make Salt Lake City a more hospitable place for Gay people and help people feel safe to be who they are and who they love.

I thus started Unconditional Support, Utah Stonewall Historical Society, created the Stonewall Archives, the Sacred Faeries, the Beyond Stonewall Summer Retreat, The Pillar Magazine, was a cohost on Concerning Gays and Lesbians for 7 years, a founding member of the Utah Stonewall Center, officer in the Gay and Lesbian Community Council of Utah, written monthly history columns for the Tryangle, The Bridge, The Pillar and since 2004 for the Q Salt Lake Magazine. Additionally, I've recorded the history of Salt Lake's for over 34 years and created a website for future historians to use. Receiving a Dr. Kristen Ries Community Service Award in 1991 and a Life Time Achievement Award last year from the Pride Center were great honors. So, I think I did my part”  with nary any financial remuneration  but only for the love and affection I have for this community that allowed me to be myself.

             “National Coming Out Day” was founded in 1988 to commemorate the 1987 March on Washington. Some people  on Face Book still think labeling is unnecessary and that being Gay is a “preference” so I responded “It's not a preference it's an orientation. It is necessary to define oneself when heterosexuality is the default assumption. Besides sexuality, the labeling of one’s orientation helps others overcome the shame society has conditioned people to feel that being a homosexual was abnormal. It was not that long ago being Gay was considered a mental illness and a criminal offense. Coming out meant our fate was tied to the fate of others. Coming out allowed us to build communities, fight for equality, and survive a plague. Until there is true equality under the law, Gay Liberation is still essential and coming out in numbers is important to show family and friends that we exist.”

            Trump is taunting that he has Covid19 Immunity now and the Salt Lake Tribune called Utah’s response to the Corvid19 epidemic as Crony capitalism for business opportunities instead of treating it as a health issue. They especially lambasted Herbert's and Cox's lack of leadership.

12 October 2020 Monday

I hardly knew it was a federal holiday until I realized that there was no mail today. I didn’t see the usual anti-Christopher Columbus Day Memes on Face book either. However, I was outside working in the front yard for most of the day and didn’t pay attention to much what was going on in the world.

I worked today for nearly 8 hours, xerio-landscaping my front yard. I rotor tilled, chopped weeds, transplanted irises and other flowers, cleaned the sidewalk edge and moved stones. I mainly wanted to get rid of the chives that had overrun my yard.

I was worried about Kyle Foote because I noticed that both vehicles were here and so he hadn’t gone to work. I finally texted him and asked if he was okay and he said he was feeling under the weather and was staying home and simply resting.

Chad Anderson posted that his test results came back positive for Covid19 and he had been super careful.

            The radical religious right’s Handmaid was before Congressional hearings for her appointment to the Supreme Court. What a travesty and mockery to the memory of Ruth Bader Ginsburg.

13 October 2020 Tuesday

I spent two hours this morning sending out information on Salt Lake‘s past Gay Bars to Deb Hall, that she requested for someone who had contacted her. Then I went down to Sutherlands and bought 5 more bags of wood bark. I also bought two more flickering flame lanterns and a light blue Mexican blanket.

I worked hard in the front yard laying down the rest of the weed blocker along the front edge of the sidewalk and then started filling it in with 15 bags of bark which was not quite enough but will do. I may have to go get some more tomorrow. So, it's been a very productive October day.  

            For my lunch I had a bowl of yesterday’s homemade chili and beans with saltine crackers .

Kyle Foote is still under the weather. He’s going to get tested tomorrow for Corvid 19 he said so he’s been isolating in his Casita down stairs. He hasn't gone to work in 2 days so he must be feeling pretty bad. I made him some chicken and rice soup but he’s not hungry at all.  I put it in the garage refrigerator just in case he gets hungry.

I also made a Bundt Cake for the first time in years and following the recipe, it was under cooked. It said to bake for 45 minutes and I know it should have been a half an hour more.  So, I was really disappointed because it should have been good with all the chocolate chips, pecans, and coconut I put in it. Oh well.

In the mail the poppers, I ordered a few weeks ago, finally came today. I doubted whether they would ever come since they were shipped from England and I thought I might have been scammed. I ordered the two bottles of Rush almost 3 weeks ago. I am not sure why I ordered them. Nostalgia I suppose.

I drove around this evening looking for a place to eat. I first drove up to Del Taco in Foxboro but the line of cars was back up. So, I went by Betos that is up there and they too were super busy and I didn’t feel like waiting. I then drove back down to North Temple and went to Ranchitos there and ordered 3 rolled tacos. The homeless sure have taken over the old Wienerschnitzel that closed there on 800 West as well as the old Arctic Circle that had been closed for a couple of years.

It was a beautiful night out and the fall Sunset was one of the prettiest I’d seen in a very long time.  I called Jim McMullin this evening because he emailed me saying he hadn’t heard from me in a while. I guess TJ didn’t tell him I had a new phone number and Jim doesn’t go on Face book. We visited awhile and I guess they finally got out of the house going for drives up into the canyons to see the Fall Leaves.

Jim Dabakis came home yesterday from Mexico and he picked up Taco this afternoon. He said the airport in Mexico City was a nightmare but here in Salt Lake City it was like a ghost town at the new airport. He said he has another offer on his townhouse in the Avenues. He said if the price is right he may sell and downsize.

I hope everyone is staying mentally, physically, and spiritually healthy during this plague. I am concerned for Kyle after hearing that Chad Anderson has come down with Covid19. I also heard that Kevin Scott’s mother also has a case of it.

My back sure is itchy again from dry skin and it is giving me fits. Oh well it’s always something. 

14 October 2020 Wednesday

Kyle Foote left this morning for work so he must have been feeling better. The weather was much cooler today, only in the mid 60’s. I am not sure what possesses me but I went down to Lowes and bought 5 more bags of bark. It was actually cheaper there than at Sutherlands by about a $1 a bag.

I then went to Wal-Mart to buy some moisturizing and anti-itch cream for my back. After that I went through the car wash on 3^rd West, then next to the Glendale Smith’s where I bought Kyle more Sprite that was on sale. Finally, I went to Deseret Industries were I found a small 6 inch pie plate I was looking for.

            Back at the house, I started leveling out the huge pile of dirt that was dug out under the bay window to make the entrance to the door to the basement. I made a mound in which to plant tulip bulbs if I can find any and dug up some more plants to transplant. I also finally cleaned the piles of dirt  left in the gutter on the south side of the house.

While out in the yard, the city inspector lady, who cited me for having Mike’s Camper in the 3^rd drive way, came by and said that she noticed I had the pad on the south side and that it was fine to park the trailer there and if done within two weeks she will close the file on me.

My ballot came today. Hmmm who should I vote for? Maybe I should listen to the debates. Should I vote for the party who wants to end Roe Vs Wade and then take away fetuses health insurance after they are born, the party that is pushing to repeal Marriage Equality, the party that colluded with Russians and called Covid19 a hoax? Or should I vote for the party who wants to bring decency back into the public arena?  It’s a tough decision ha,ha,ha,ha,ha.

After taking Coco home, I worked some more in the front yard laying down the bark I bought at Lowes, but I will need even more bags. I will go tomorrow when I go look for tulip bulbs.

Kyle didn’t come home until after I had already gone to bed so I never saw him today to see how he feels.

One of those Face book personality quizzes was finally kind of accurate, saying my greatest weakness was being stubborn.

“Ben is a kind and simply genuine person and he always puts the people he cares about first. He is stronger and braver than most, but he is also has a sweet side that only those closest to him know. He is an excellent leader, because there’s a snowball chance in hell that you’ll be able to fool him. He has no place in his life for fakes and lairs. Benedgar rarely holds a grudge, but it’s almost impossible to regain his trust once you lost it.”

15 October 2020 Thursday

            It was much cooler today and only got up the mid-fifties today. I went back down to Lowes and bought 5 more bags of mulch and two bags of tulips which I then planted for the spring. I guess I am still optimistic that there will be a spring time.

I also moved some castle bricks to build kind of a retaining wall where the mound of dirt was still high. While I was doing that I was surprised to see Kyle Foote, Danny Montoya, and his sister come to the house. Danny’s sister interacted more with me than Kyle and Danny did who couldn’t be bothered to visit with me about what I was doing. I am so unnecessary to their lives.

            I filled out my mail in ballot today and will drop it off tomorrow at the Northwest Senior Center’s drop box. I did not vote for state auditor or treasurer as that no democrat was on ballot. I can't in good conscience vote for anyone who belongs to the Trump Party and the other guys all belonged to Utah’s wacky 3rd parties. So, I left that portion blank. However, I did look up all the judges and from where they got their Law Degrees. If they went to my Alma Mater I voted No.

 I made some Mexican soup for my supper tonight that I know I will be eating alone. It’s mainly ground beef, green bell peppers, hominy, tomatoes, and corn with Taco Seasoning. It’s a tasty form of chili that mom used to make.

            The dueling debates on ABC and NBC were tonight and I only tuned in to ABC because that is where Biden was being broadcast. It really didn’t matter any because I had already filled in my ballot for Biden.

I am feeling a little tired of being alone tonight with no one to interact with. I get this way when I know that Kyle Foote spends more time with Danny Montoya and his sister than me as he can’t even spend 5 minutes with me. It’s been over 6 months without being around people I know and spending anytime with friends. There’s been no going down to the Pride Center or anywhere else for that matter. Isolating at home has become my prison.

I work so hard in my yard, but I think at times “what is the point” when there's no one to see it. It’s just like I'm filling up empty time. I used to enjoy cooking but with no one to share it with, it’s just drudgery.. I am sure I am not alone in feeling this way.

I am running low on mental energy” nearly empty. Things that used to bring me joy seemed to have vanished.. I miss having someone to say goodnight to. I thought that would be Kyle but I was wrong. Oh well there are people with far more concerns than feeling lonesome. This too shall pass. I think I also need to take a serious break from Face Book where it has become a battleground with the elections so near.

Ron Holmgren and Russell Pack, who are both my age or older, they commiserated with my feelings. Ron wrote, “When you live alone it is really hard. I know how you feel. I spent hours creating a wonderful place to have someone visit, and I am the only one who enjoys it. And when you are an older person, it is twice as hard.”

Russell responded, “I am so very sorry, my friend. This has been emotionally exhausting in every way. As much as I love gardening myself, it has been a chore this year for the very first time. We are planning on having progressive garden tours with close friends next year or as soon as we have a vaccine. We would love to include you. We can enjoy each other’s company and hard work.”

16 October 2020 Friday

I was up at 2:30 in the morning because I couldn’t sleep because of this blue funk I am in. I feel so superfluous. I am tired emotionally, from not having someone to talk to and care about my day.

I finally went back to bed about 5 in the morning after working on my research of 200 South during the Great Depression, the financial one not mine. I only slept in until about 8 before getting up and working some more by finishing it up.

            I was kind of lethargic today and I didn’t get out of the house except to take Coco home. Oh, I forgot I did drop my ballot off at the Senior Citizen’s drop off box and went to Del Taco for lunch.

            Kyle Foote went out to dinner with his sister for his birthday and I suppose Danny’s sister, Alicia, because he took her to the airport this evening.

17 October 2020 Saturday Kyle’s Birthday.

I woke up about 5 this morning and decided just to get up and do some housework. I needed to sweep and mop the pee spots and general dirt that gets tracked in to the house from 20 little feet during the week. I needed to keep busy to keep my mind off of Kyle Foote. So, I also went and mowed the front and back yard for the last time this season. The grass wasn’t bad, just needed some tidying up. The rye grass seed I spread a couple of weeks ago is finally sprouting but it’s spotty. I also hung the lanterns I bought from Sutherlands earlier this week. So, I accomplished a lot this morning but by 10:30 Kyle still hadn’t emerged from downstairs. Oh well. It’s his birthday and he can do what he wants.

            My cousin Stephanie Williams texted me that she learned that her ex-husband Jon Haag died last August 9^th from her son Stephen. They don’t keep in touch much.

            Mike Romero came over about 11 this morning to move the camper over to the RV pad and I called Kyle to come move his car so Mike could get to the camper. Well, that set off a major blow out between Kyle and me.

            At noon, Kyle texted me “You don't even have the courtesy to wish me a happy birthday. I think it's best if I just move out. Clearly this isn't working. I'll be out by Halloween.” I went down stairs to talk to him but he wouldn’t come to the door so I went through the front door and that is when he shouted at me like he did last February when he loses his temper and explodes irrationally. He screamed at me to get out and then texted me minutes later, “I'll be out by the end of the day.”

            I wrote back, “Do what will make you happy evidently living with me doesn’t. It's not like I see you anymore or know how you are” tell me what arrangements you want with the phone and the truck and you won’t have to deal with me anymore if I make you so angry””

            “Ok. We'll work that out. I'm never going to be able to involve you enough in my life to make you happy.”

            I responded, “That's probably true “ I just needed to know you cared for me” I thought we were family” at least I thought so” I am sorry that caring too much for you is a burden” you are on your feet now and have a life ahead of you “ make it a good one””

            Then for the next couple of hours we commented by texting on what we were feeling. Kyle wrote back, “I thought we were family too. I made an effort to spend time with you last night and you went to bed and turned all the lights off. I told you I had no plans for my birthday and I wanted to spend it with you.  And then the only reason you call me is to say move your truck. And then your bull shit Face book post about being alone for 6 months. As though the time I have been here for you and spent with you was meaningless.”

I replied to why I went to bed. “I was tired and it was the end of the day “I felt hurt not included in your plans” I didn’t have breakfast or lunch waiting to hear from you today “I know it was wrong to expect much “”

“I offered 2 weeks ago for you to join Jami and I, you said no. That's why I planned it with her NOT on my birthday. She's not family,  you are.”

“Your time with me has never been meaningless” I drove to Gunnison  and Point of the Mountain and Fortitude because time with you was always meaningful” you were the son I never had “that was wrong of me to feel that way” when you’d come home and spend less than 5 minutes with me before going down stairs made me feel alone” you never asked about Brad and me breaking up either but that was okay “you were building a new career and I was  proud of that but then after downstairs was finished I never knew what more was happening “ we stop communicating” I am sorry for that””

Kyle replied, “You matter to me, but I am too much of an introvert.”

“The reason I have been working so hard in the yard is to get out of my melancholy by physical exertion” it hasn't helped. I never wanted to be left “be”“ that is why I am melancholy” I never see anyone anymore and I feel useless to you now when I used to feel like I was needed.. I know you are an introvert” I can respect that” I am too in many ways” I know I get these dark moods where I wonder why am I still around when the world has changed so much” just seeing you made be happy and content” maybe that is just selfish on my part” I am sorry I ruined your birthday.”

“I ruined my birthday. You're disappointed in me. Danny is disappointed in me. I feel like I never have any time off my own to recharge my batteries. Someone is always pulling me in a different direction and I can't seem to make anybody happy. Danny won't give me 5 minutes by myself. He always wants to be on the phone. I'm not getting enough sleep. I wish I was like you and thrived off of the attention and people. I want less attention and less people.”

“Kyle I wanted you to have a place to decompress” I knew you were creating a safe space for yourself” that is why I stayed out of it until today because I was not in my right mind” I am sorry for that” I won’t ever again” I need you to be here for my sake but I understand if you can’t deal with my idiosyncrasies. I will understand “if I had places to go I would not have felt neglected” that is my issue not yours “I have not felt well either “ not sleeping well nor eating and I think dealing with depression” I felt all week what could I do for your birthday and I thought nothing “no cake, you don’t need anything I could get you, and there’s no place I can take you to “I guess the best gift is just to let you have time alone “ and let this pass over” we are both much too stressed and we are, if you want, family “and families fight sometimes” they still love “ I hope you can decompress and just forgive an old foolish gay guy” who can’t get his act together” I'll leave you alone now but know that in my heart of hearts I always wished you a happy birthday and always will””

            I went outside about 2:30 and Mike was just finishing up winterizing his trailer. I was too blue to really visit and not that he would have understood or commiserated my feelings. A license plate package was all that came in the mail so around 4:30 I texted Kyle that a package had come for him and he wrote back “thank you”.

            Then around 6:30 Kyle must have calmed down as that he wrote me, “First of all I'd like to apologize for being a bad friend, at the very least for not being the kind of friend you need me to be. I try to be here for you in the best way I know how, but my way of being there for you isn't close to the kind of friend you expect me to be. No matter how we fight or disappoint one another, I will always love you and think of you as my family. I'll be there for you when you need me. I'm sorry you haven't been feeling well and sleeping well. I know you go through occasional bouts of malaise. I know at times it's hard to feel like you matter to anyone. But you matter to me. I just don't know how to show it any other way than I have been. I'm sorry for making this day so hard on you. I just feel too sad to try to fix it. And to make matters worse Danny is "surprising" me by flying in and now I have to spend time with him and I don't want to.”

            I wrote back, “Kyle a package of edibles came just now for you.  I'd like to bring it down to you but if not I will leave it out in the hall for you” You mean the world to me and I will try to be a better friend honest. You need to be with Danny tonight because he loves you but I know you want to be alone right now” I am going to take Bill Poore for a ride tomorrow so you can have time to be alone to recharge.”

“I can't be alone if Danny is here. He's insisted on being on the phone with me all day. It's draining.”

            “I am sorry for making life more difficult for you “ Never was my intention. I guess we all are screwed up in some ways” Know that I am sorry “ I am okay” Took the dogs for a ride and tried to clear my mind “”

            Then he wrote me “I still haven't left to get a Dr Pepper” which I knew was a way he was reaching out to me. I responded, “You should for your birthday. There's some in the frig if you don't feel like going out” I put your package outside your front door for you” Driving around seeing all these homeless people made me realize how foolish I've been and grateful for all you have done since coming to live on Fernleaf” When a person gets old he gets very foolish not wiser.”

            Kyle then asked, “Will you go with me to get a Dr Pepper. Then after Danny lands will you go with me to dinner?” I replied “I would love that. We can have a better ending than a beginning for your day””

            So, I said I’d drive because I knew Kyle still didn’t feel great about our quarrel and we took the dogs because Lulubelle just adores him.

            Afterwards we both changed clothes to go pick up Danny Montoya from the airport nearly 8 at night. I had not been out to the new airport so this was all new to me. Kyle picked out the Melting Pot for his birthday dinner place that is on the corner of Main Street where China Village used to be so many years ago. As we were early for the 8:45 reservation we walked around downtown which I haven’t out at night in years. A street musician was playing on the corner of Broadway and Main and many people were out as it was a pleasant late evening.

            I told Kyle that I was his age, 41, back in 1992 and he said that Danny Montoya was born in 1992. That made me feel old for sure and then I realized that Danny is now 28 years old and that is how old I was when Kyle was born in 1979.

            We were seated way in a back corner which was nice because we were isolated by ourselves. I had no intention of eating but said I was picking up the check for Kyle’s birthday dinner. The Melting Pot was kind of a high end trendy fondue restaurant where besides fondue you grilled you own meat on a hot plate centered on the table. Kyle ordered a glass of white wine and Danny had a virgin Strawberry Daiquiri. I dipped a little of the bread in the cheese fondue but other than ordering an iced tea I just watched the boys eat. When the meat entrée came I grilled the cubed size steaks, chicken, shrimp, and salmon. I had a small bite just to sample a little but I really wasn’t hungry but Kyle who probably hadn’t eaten all day had a good appetite.

            I really ate more of the sweets that came with the dark chocolate fondue at the end of the dinner. More than anything else I was grateful to be spending Kyle’s birthday with him after all after such a rough morning.

            I paid the tab which was $150 when I added a 20 percent tip but it was my way of showing Kyle that he is special to me. It was 11 o’clock at night before we got home and I hugged both Danny and Kyle before going to bed. The pups were so happy to have me home.

18 October 2020 Sunday

Bill Poore sent me a message saying that he was not feeling well so we canceled going for a drive this afternoon. I started making some zucchini bread this morning when Kyle Foote came upstairs and asked if I wanted to go out for breakfast with Danny Montoya and him. I knew that he was really trying to make an effort to include me more so of course I said yes.

We went to this trendy place called RYE over on 5th East downtown. Restaurants aren’t handing out menu anymore but giving you these slips of paper from where you down load the menu on your phone. Kyle said because it’s supposed to be safer. I think it’s ridiculous, and it shows they aren’t catering to an older crowd. The hostess even took our temperature before entering which I suppose is a good thing but kind of weird.

            Kyle showed me the menu on his phone and there was absolutely nothing I would have wanted to eat there. So, I just ordered coffee because I really wasn’t all that hungry and even the coffee was off putting. It tasted bitter. The boys had some weird combination of scrambled eggs, potatoes and toast.

 I couldn’t see anything spectacular to the place. Even the seating was uncomfortable” made out of stained hard plywood without cushions. It was certainly not conducive for just relaxing and having a leisurely breakfast. But then I was there to be with them not for the breakfast. I was really trying to be more interactive with Danny also.

            For the rest of the day, I spent some time in the back yard, pulling some weeds up, mostly just to be active. I took the pups for a ride when I went to Del Taco in North salt Lake for my supper.

            Around 6, Kyle came upstairs again and asked if I wanted to watch a special HBO episode of the West Wing that used the original cast to promote the Get Out and Vote movement. I know he really was looking forward to watching it for a long time. I also knew that Danny wouldn’t be all that into it and I was right because he was napping on the bed while Kyle and I watched it from their couch.

The show was really well done and I appreciated Kyle wanting to share it with me but as soon as it was over I left them and went back upstairs.

            I then watch House on Haunted Hill, the old 1959 thriller that I first saw as a kid.  Back then it seemed so scary but now just cheesy but still it was fun to watch.

Kyle came upstairs to look for some snacks for Danny and him and he gave me a hug before we both retired for the night. He is trying. That is all I ever wanted from him. 

The malaise I was in has passed, but I've really cut back on Political posts and looking at Face book, maybe just 2 or 3 times a day. I have concentrated instead on the yard, the house, my writing, and the pups. I think it helps gets me out of dark places where everything seems to be so depressing

            The Covid19 virus is out of control in Utah with over 500 deaths and the ICU’s of most hospital at 100 percent capacity, with about 1400 people a day testing positive. Utah is one of the nation’s hotspots due to the Republican Cult of Trumpism.

19 October 2020 Monday

I didn’t do much today” not sure why. I went to Deseret Industries and found another bird house and a couple of smaller pie plates for when I want to start baking pies again.

            It was another warm autumn day for October. It was in the 70’s. I asked TJ Otaka if I could come over tomorrow. I need to get out of the house I think.  Most of the yard work is really done for the year.

            I finished watching “Someone Has to Die”“ a Spanish Mexican thriller about homosexuality during the Franco Regime in the 1950s. ‎Carmen Maura was great as the sociopathic grandmother.

            I renewed my AAA car assistance today and added Kyle Foote to it so he will be covered no matter what vehicle he drives. After Danny Montoya and he came home, before going to bed, Kyle came up to see me a bit and gave me a hug to say goodnight. So, he’s trying and so am I.

20 October 2020 Tuesday

It was another “do nothing day” although the weather was pleasant. Jim McMullin called me this morning to cancel our get together because T.J. Otaka came down with a cold or something last night and was not feeling well. So, we will do it later this week perhaps.

            I swept the curb gutters and driveway just to be outside for a bit, but that was about all as that everything is really put away for the season. No more watering the grass, or mowing, and the mulch is all down. I suppose I could go out and start trimming back the Russian Sage for the coming winter.

I even cut up the watermelon I grew in the garden. It wasn’t very sweet but riper than the other one I had. I brought it over to Mike Romero’s when I took Coco home.

            I didn’t see the boys today but that is okay I suppose. I watched some Halloween movies like “The Nightmare before Christmas” and Walt Disney’s “Ichabod Crane” this evening” to try and get in the spirit of the upcoming holiday.

            I haven’t listened to news much because it’s the same old same old” Presidential election arguments, the Covid19 is out of control blah, blah, blah, people won’t wear masks to control it, and news of the SCOTUS handmaid nomination. I’ve already voted so what more can I do?

21 October 2020 Wednesday

It was a pretty day outside” in the mid 70’s but it’s not going to last. A cold front is coming in, they say. I went online to renew the registration for the FIT this afternoon. The site said they no longer send out postcard reminders to people so that is why Kyle Foote and I haven't received anything in the mail about the FIT or ROGUE.  I didn’t have to have it safety inspected but it did cost $225 to register it.

            I worked on my research on Second South some more and made a discovery on some of the property there and the characters who lived there. However, I am getting rather bored with it.  

 I went down to Golden Pearl Chinese Takeout on 7th South and bought some Hot and Sour Soup for my lunch. It was not nearly as good as Charlie Chows but then nothing seems as good as it used to be.

Trump has a secret bank account in China where he’s paid China $220,000 in taxes and only $750 here in the states. He has no loyalty to our country.

22 October 2020 Thursday

It was only in the 50’s today” a 20 degree drop from yesterday. It was a minestrone soup kind of day, so I went to the store early in the morning to get some ingredients to make it. I made it with lots of goodies, liked diced carrots, celery, bell pepper, garlic, oregano, rosemary, basil, zucchini, Italian green beans, canella beans, spinach, macaroni, all in a tomato juice base. It was vegetarian with no meat but yummy. I had it with a crusty buttered roll.

            Jim Dabakis came over around noon to bring Taco Bell over for a play stay. He said that while down in Mexico he had gotten really sick and had to go to the emergency room down there for bloody diarrhea. They patched him up but he has to really watch what he eats so I sent him home with a jar of Minestrone Soup.

            I was bored after that, so I made a crumb topped apple pie with Granny Smiths apples and Galas. I had found a small 6 inch pie dish at Deseret Industries the other day that is a perfect size for pies for me. A nice slice of a warm pie hit the spot on this very cool autumn day.

            Darren Solomon dropped by around 2:30 to visit. I must have been bored because I let him stay for nearly an hour, although it is laborious trying to make conversation with him” especially with neither one of us having anything really to share. I know Darren really just wants to cuddle and have sex with me but I am just not interested in where it would lead, and don’t want to encourage him. So, we sat and visited because he is a good soul and being mean to him would be so abhorrent and mean.

            I took the pups for a ride when I took Coco home. Then I stayed in for the rest of the evening watching some television. The last of the Presidential debates was on the tube but since I had already voted for Biden, why watch what is probably a train wreck?

I had two pups, Taco Belle and Lulubelle, in my arms and TJ in my lap this evening. We snuggled in the front room while Maxx and Buster had already gone to bed. It's a cozy time at the House of the Barking Dogs this autumnal evening.

The Democrats boycotted the SCOTUS committee’s selection of the Handmaid and now Lindsey Graham says the vote was unanimous when it was just Republicans voting.

Today is my niece’s 49^th Birthday. Her birthday will always remind me when I lived in the dorms at Cal State Fullerton as I baby sat my nephew James who was 2 and ½ at the time.

23 October 2020 Friday

I didn’t do much today but stay home and binged watched the first season of The House of Flowers, a Mexican black comedy series on Netflix. It had lots of queer story lines and male butt shots so it kept my attention.

            Supposedly Danny Montoya is back in Salt Lake, but I hadn’t seen hide or hair of either him nor Kyle Foote all day and they never came home tonight.

            In the news there was 1,960 cases of people testing positive in Utah today. So, it’s out of control in this state where people love Trump more than they do their neighbors.

24 October 2020 Saturday

It was much too cool outside today to do much. It was down in the mid 50’s and I heard that tomorrow it’s supposed to drop even more and we may even get snow.

            I made a pot of beef stew this morning and let it cook all day in the crock pot. Not all that hungry but wanted to use up the beef that Jim Dabakis brought over Thursday with Taco Belle. Since it was getting late in the afternoon, I called Jim and said that I would bring Taco Belle home to give the pups a ride.

            As it was a cool day, lots of people were out walking their dogs, perhaps to get ahead of the cold front and storm that is predicted for tomorrow.  Jim came out when I got to his place on B Street and we visited a little. I guess he’s not going to sell his place after all because they are content where they are. I said that with all the uncertainty in the world, it’s probably a good thing to stay put.

            Back at the house I watched more of the second season of House of Flowers and started to watch Chicago 7 about the trial of Tom Hayden and Abby Hoffman for supposedly inciting the Chicago riot at the 1968 Democratic Convention. The show is good but hard to watch bringing back memories of the awful time of the Nixon Presidency and John Mitchell.

            The Covid19 Virus is out of control in Utah just as we are heading into indoor weather so it’s just going to get worse.

25 October 2020 Sunday

It snowed overnight and some this morning here in Westpointe by the Jordan River. No wonder the pups were so restless last night. The pups were all still curled up in the bed when I got up at 5 this morning and looked outside to see everything covered with a blanket of snow. It’s our first snow fall of the year but it melted as the day progressed into the mid 30’s. It’s been too warm for the snow to stick on the streets, but the moisture is welcomed. It’s a good thing that I made a pot of stew yesterday.

I had a hankering for biscuits and gravy this snowy morning. But like everything else I eat these days, the memories taste better than the reality.

They only thing I did outside was unhooked my water hoses because it’s going to be 18 degrees overnight.

I called my sister Donna Jones this late afternoon. I hadn’t spoken to her in a while. There was really not a whole lot to talk about since we both are kind of quarantined. She said that she and her son Kevin were fine and Kevin finally got a social security card after all these years. He will be 41 years old November 1^st.

Donna was talkative this time, and we were chatting for over an hour. She mostly talked about diets they were both on, and her reminiscing about her time with her old Hartwell company where she worked at for probably over 30 years.

Other than that, I didn’t see or hear from anyone else this cold day. If Danny Montoya was here I wouldn’t know it.

I wasn’t in the mood to watch any television either today, so I worked a bit on the research on 200 South where I discovered that in 1940 two Mexican nationals got into a fight. One shot the other and he was sentenced to be executed by firing squad but an appeal had him just sent to prison.

Another 1700 people tested positive today. We are now 6^th in the nation for infection rates. It’s Utah's mentality of not caring about others as our hospitals are going into triage mode because of the surge in infections. Don’t ever try to tell me that Utah and Republicans are prolife. I only feel sorry for the innocent victims of Covid19 and never the Republican enablers and deniers. I hate to see anyone get sick but Republicans chose Trump and greed over science and common sense.

I wrote this in 2017 which I feel is even more important today to vote out all Republicans “"Trump is the current physical manifestation of the disease that has infected the American body politick for decades” Ever since Nixon's Southern Strategy, the radical rights Moral Majority's fusion of church and state, Reaganomics that engorged the 1 percent at the expense of the Middle Class, Bush's Patriot Act and War on Terror, and the Citizen United decision that opened the flood gates to corruption of Democracy”  Trump is the proof that America is very, very sick” We need to build up our resistance if we are to save the Republic."

26 October 2020 Monday

It was a very chilly day with temperature not getting above 40 degrees. About noon I had a nice lunch and visit with T.J. Otaka and Jim McMullin out in Daybreak. It was good to get out of the house and the pizza they bought was Yummy. We wore masks, socially distanced ourselves, and even took our temperature so it ain’t us that is spreading the virus. I think TJ is really getting cabin fever as they never go out anywhere. We just commiserated on how this isolation is affecting our mental health.

Utah is going towards having its hospitals do a Triage to determine who will get treatment. Young people. who are spreading the disease, will have priority over old people getting ventilators and care. Yep Utah is so prolife.

Kyle Foote and Danny Montoya came home in the late afternoon, when I was getting ready to take Coco home. The AAA card I ordered for Kyle came in the mail. 

Kyle asked if I wanted some Chinese Food as they were ordering from China Delight and I said sure although as usual not all that hungry. I ordered a sweet and sour pork rice bowl but ate very little of it. The pair ate their dinner upstairs so I got to spend some time with them.

Kyle said that Jimmy Adams, the kid that worked all summer on the basement is moving back to Virginia. I hate to see him go. He was a good guy but I guess all the little left over projects he was going to do for me, won’t get done now, or will by someone else.

27 October 2020 Tuesday

Another day, in which I did very little as it was still in the high 30’s for most of the day. I am about finished with the 1940 era of 200 South and will probably post it tomorrow.

 I finally put a wall mounted shelf up near my bed for the small television that I bought last summer. It was too far away across the room sitting on my bureau for me to really use before. So now I can lay in bed and watch shows if I want.

            I made an appointment with this masseuse for tomorrow and while I kind of hate to spend the money, I have to think of it not only as a pleasure, but also as physical therapy. I haven’t had one in over a year or more.  So, I will see how that goes because I am sure it will be around $100 which seems to be the going rate these days.

            Mike said Coco was a bad girl this morning, wandering off in the dark when he warmed the truck up to take her over here. He had to go up and down his street to look for her until she came waddling back when he started the truck to leave.

            Today is Chuck Whyte’s birthday. I think born in 1957, but like so many this year, I am sure there was not much of a celebration.

            A week from today America will choose the destiny of our democracy. I’ve got this sick feeling that the Republicans have just put an “Anita Bryant” on the Supreme Court for the next 40 years.

28 October 2020 Wednesday

I did something for me that I haven’t done in a very long time, and that was to pay for a “sensual massage”.  I made an appointment with this Paul Stauffer who operates a massage business from his home at 132 Sterling [3650] in Bountiful. My appointment was at 1:45 in the afternoon. I was hesitant to spend that kind of money on a massage but I then thought that besides the pleasure of having a man’s strong hands all over my body, I probably needed it to release all the tension my body has built up.

            Paul was amazing and he was nude as well. He said I could touch him as well o but I mainly was there to be pampered. My dry skin certainly could use all the oil that was rubbed into my body.

The price for the 1 hour session was $80 but when we were through, I just gave him a $100 bill, for that was my gift to myself, which I rarely do. Even when Brad Hart and I were together, while we held each other and canoodled, he never once gave me a massage” although I did him every time we were together. Physical contact is important for mental health, especially in this time of social distancing.

            Mostly today I worked on my research project and watched some of the 3^rd Season of House of Flowers. I am still enjoying it but I think the first season was the best so far.

            I did order dinner from Chubby’s Mexican Restaurant in the evening but ate very little of it so I guess I will have the rest for lunch tomorrow. I never hear from anyone, so not sure of what is up with my friends and family.

            The line of cars to be tested for Covid19 at the Rose Hill Elementary parking lot was the longest I had ever seen. There were over 1500 cases of people testing positive today and 10 more people have died but Mormons don’t care because it’s not affecting them as much as for Mexicans, South Pacific Islanders, people of color, and the aged.            

29 October 2020 Thursday

I made some butternut squash soup today from a squash I bought a while back. I roasted it with carrots, celery, onions, and garlic and used the chicken broth I had from roasting chicken for the pups this week.

            When I came home from grocery shopping this morning Taco Belle greeted me when I came home. I am always happy to see that little boy.

This evening, I watched Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein which is my Halloween go to movie. It’s not Halloween if I don’t watch it. That and Charlie Brown’s Great Pumpkin which I haven’t watched yet.  

30 October 2020 Friday

            I was up early at 5 this morning and couldn’t sleep so I decided to drive down to 2400 South and buy some donuts at Darla’s Donuts since they open at 5. It was pitch black out driving there and I bought two apple fritters and two cinnamon twists but only ate one of the twists for breakfast while typing up my research.

Some days are more productive than others. The weather was perfect for doing some yard work before the chill of November sets in. I spent 4 hours hand cutting back all the Russian Sage and other plants on my corner curb. It’s really messy work because pollen from the Russian Sage florets gets everywhere.

I filled up two huge trash bins but fortunately I got one to the curb just as the trash pickup truck came by. Now my hand is so sore from using my pruning shears but it’s all done now and there’s satisfaction in grubbing and getting everything ready a winter sleep.

I then sat with the pups and enjoyed being in the back yard with TJ and Taco sitting in my lap, Coco and Maxx wrestling, and Buster barking just because he's happy. So am I but I don’t bark and wag my tail.  The warmth of the sun felt really good on my shoulders.

I then decided to go sit in the hot tub for a while just to relax with the jets turned on. How fortunate am I to have this luxury in my old age. I enjoyed this lovely autumn day for they won’t last for long as that next week is November.

Bill Poore texted me to call him to see if his phone was ringing. It was, so we visited a while. He said he felt pretty good so maybe next week we will go out to eat if the state isn’t under lock down.

Weird that I saw an emergency alert from the state on my cell phone about Covid19 because over 2200 people tested positive today and all but around 4 counties in Utah are under mask requirements but no mandate. Yep Republicans really know how to govern.

Kyle Foote came home about 6 this evening and came upstairs to see me and the pups. Lulubelle just goes crazy for him. I guess Danny Montoya left this morning for Las Vegas. I hadn’t seen or heard from either of them all week.

Kyle asked if I wanted to have taken out and watch some television this evening and I said certainly. He ordered a pizza from Domino’s down by Smith’s and we took the pups for a ride. I had to get gas for the FIT because I was running on empty so I bought it at Smith’s and saved 20 cents a gallon there. I only paid $2.01 a gallon and I only paid $17 to fill up the tank.

Kyle said that Jimmy Adams left last week to move back to Virginia. That kind of made me sad as that I really liked him. He was the one who mainly finished my basement, mostly by himself and sometimes helped by Zane Baum. Jimmy was my main company for most of the summer but you can’t stop progress.

Back at the house, I had Kyle watch a few episodes of Casa de la Flores from the first season to see if he liked it as we ate our pizza which was vegetarian as that it just had black olives, mushrooms and red peppers on it. I really liked it. We watched Netflix until about 9 before retiring for the evening.

31 October 2020 Saturday Halloween

The scariest thing about this Halloween this year is November 3rd or what will happen in the next 4 months or, God forbid, the next 4 years. The post-traumatic stress of election night 2016 is resurfacing and I am frightened.

            It was a pretty day today in the 60’s so this morning I mopped the floors and outside I laid down some fertilizer for the grass. Other than that, I didn’t do much. I was going to bring Taco Belle home but Jim Dabakis said he was feeling lousy and staying in bed and asked if I would keep him for another day. I said I would keep him as long as he needed me too.

The pups and I watched The Great Pumpkin this Halloween afternoon. I wonder is it too early to eat up all the Halloween candy Kyle Foote and Danny Montoya bought a while back since I don’t think anyone is going to be out this year.

About 6 Kyle texted me, asking if I wanted to go to Baskin Robbins in Bountiful for an ice cream shake. I hadn’t seen him all day so I said I did. I drove and we took the pups for a ride with me. Actually, I think Baskin Robbins is way too expensive around $3 for a single dip cone and the small shakes we ordered were around $3.50 but Kyle said this could be our new Halloween tradition, going to Baskin Robbins on Halloween.

It was very quiet out this Halloween evening as I suspected. We had not one “tricks or treaters” out and about. I guess Covid19 is scaring people enough to keep their kids home. I had turned the lights off anyway and went into the bedroom to be with the pups. I finished watching the 3^rd Season of House of Flowers. I enjoyed it very much.

Next time I hear some dumbshit bring up herd immunity as a reason not to wear a mask I’d like to ask how did that work out for Polio and Smallpox and then I’d like to smack them for being evil because surely no one is that stupid.., oh wait people do vote for Trump, evil and stupid. .

The great Sean Connery has passed away at the age of 90. He will always be the only true James Bond for me”

So ends October 2020 with a Blue Moon and Covid19 spiking everywhere. Daylight Savings time ends also at 2 in the morning.

NOVEMBER

1 November 2020 Sunday

I couldn’t sleep past 2:30 this morning for some reason so I read emails and looked at Face book until I could go back to sleep. I slept in until 7 which would have been 8 on Day Light savings Time.

Screw all of you that hate going back to standard time. I love getting up with it being light outside instead of being pitch black. Noon is supposed to be when the sun is directly over our heads not at 1 in the afternoon.  Why is DLS time supposed to save electricity when you have to turn all the lights in the house on at 8 in the morning? I wish we would just stay on Standard Time but golf is more important to the powers that be.

I didn’t see Kyle Foote all day and I didn’t do much either. I did go to Smith’s Grocery at 7:30 early this morning to get some of the after Halloween candy sales. I found my favorite "bite size butterfingers" marked down to 99 cents a bag! I didn't want to appear greedy so I only bought 3, plus a huge bag of bite size Snickers for $2.50 and a bag of bite size Hersey Milk Chocolate bars for 79 cents. I threw them all in the freezer down in the garage and now I am all set for the winter of indoor television and snacking. Covid19 be damned.  Oh, I also spent $20 on dog treats for the pups so they don't feel neglected.

            I then made a crock pot of chicken noodle soup with carrots, celery, and onions this morning. The onion, I roasted in the oven until soft and then used my chopper to turn it into Onion Paste. I miss the flavor of onions and since Kyle doesn’t like them I haven’t really cooked with them since he came home to live. However, since he rarely eats anything I cook I thought I would go back to using them as flavoring.

            I packed away all the Halloween decorations for another year in the afternoon and did a few chores like filling up the hot tub to the brim and then watering the new grass I planted by seed in the back yard. It’s going to be so warm all week and I didn’t want the roots to lose any moisture.

While I was in the backyard, Jim Dabakis came and retrieved Taco Belle. He still isn’t feeling well but says he has to get better by Tuesday because he will be a commentator on Channel 2 during the election. I sent him home with some Butternut Squash Soup and some chicken noodle soup that was still hot.

            Afterwards didn’t really do anything but watch a little television. The pups say screw what the clock says we're hungry now. They keep insisting its 5:15 and I argue no it’s only 4:15 and too early but I gave in and fixed them some roasted chicken and gizzards.

I finally watch the first episode of the second season of the Mandalorian. It was entertaining.

If the Mormon Church's goal is to make Utahns more compassionate and caring for their neighbors and to love one another as they would themselves, they have failed miserably as evidence of the out of control Covid19 here and the amount of Trump supporters in this state. Why hasn’t the Mormon leadership come out to insist their members wear masks during an epidemic? I would think people dying, is as much a "moral issue" for them to speak out on as marriage equality and liquor.

In Texas a caravan of Trump Terrorists tried to run a Biden Campaign bus off the road near Austin forcing the canceling of a Biden Rally. Here in Utah a Department of Health office in Millcreek was shot at overnight with a glass door and windows being shattered. These are the people that the Republicans in this state cater to and listen to rather than rational people.  Governor Herbert is afraid of them.  Republicans failure to treat these people as insurrectionists will come back to bite them in the butt.

Then down in Utah County the police had to break up two illegal Halloween Venues last night where thousands gathered without social distancing or wearing masks.

2 November 2020 Monday

I went shopping this morning and bought an electronic thermometer at Wal-Mart for $34, just in case. It was an Exergen Temporal Artery thermometer like the one TJ Otaka showed me last week. I also bought some Christmas lights before they are all gone, treats for the pups and two new doggy beds.

After that I went through the Mister Car Wash while the weather is nice and then over to Deseret Industries where I bought a string of large Christmas light bulbs and a wooden night stand with two drawers that was in good condition for five bucks. It was missing the drawer knobs but I can replace them.  While out in the Glendale area I stopped at Smith’s and bought some more left over Halloween cupcakes, cookies, and some roasts that were on sale.

When I took my temperature at home it was 99.3 but I had just gotten out of a hot shower lol. Maybe I should have waited

The comfy pants I bought through Amazon and a pair of house slippers came today so it must have been a shopping day for me.

The weather is supposed to be in the 70’s all this week. How strange that is for this time of the year.

Kyle Foote came home at 6 and said he had a very busy day of running around and just needed to unwind but had wanted to come upstairs to say hello to the pups and give me a hug before retreating downstairs.

3 November 2020 Tuesday Election Day

I went on a Utah Government site to see if my vote was counted and it was. I voted against fascism and for “truth, justice, and the American Way” unlike the majority of Utah deplorables did today. I can kind of excuse Mormons for voting for Trump in 2016 when they were ignorant about Trump’s character but 4 years later still supporting this despicable man, they are despicable themselves. Utah's support for Trump is a stain on its character akin to the Mountain Meadow Massacre.

I put up my Holiday Lights this afternoon while the weather was nice. They say it will snow on Sunday with a cold front moving in. I won’t keep them on for the entire month of November but I wanted to see how they looked and they are very festive. I still have my fall décor up even if Halloween is tucked away.

            I made a huge pot of beef and cabbage soup today. Lots of other stuff in it too” like carrots, celery, green beans, creamed corn, and macaroni all in a tomato juice base. It’s one way to get my vegetables in.

            I went to Sutherlands looking for some knobs for the night stand I bought at Deseret Industries yesterday. While there I saw they had a colorful flannel shirt jacket in southwestern colors for $14 so I bought it and another Mexican blanket as well.

            When Kyle Foote came home he came up stairs for a little bit, gave me a hug, and then disappeared downstairs for the rest of the night.

Alone I watched as much as I could stand of the election this evening. It’s like post traumatic syndrome for me reliving the 2016 election. It is discouraging that so many people think Trump deserves a second term. After he won Florida, because of the Cubans, I went to bed. I will hear the fate of the country tomorrow. It will be days anyway before all the mail-in ballots will be counted in key states.

I already know that Utah went for Trump and Cox will be our next governor and Stewart will be my Congressman and that the Utah Legislature will gerrymander Salt Lake City from the results of the 2020 Census. I would like to believe America wants its soul back but I am discouraged. Ben McAdams is in a neck to neck race in the 4^th District.

I swear if Trump wins the election I will never vote again and I have in every election since 1970. I will be done “ the America I knew will have vanished “

How "smug and privileged" one must be to be able to justify not voting because they claim both parties are the same. When I hear people use this excuse for not voting, I want to smack them upside the head and say 230,000 Americans can’t vote today because our political parties are not the same.

Will today be A New Hope or the Empire Strikes Back?

4 November 2020 Wednesday

My sleep pattern is way off. It must be due to anxiety over this election, I woke up at 2 in the morning wide awake and rather than make myself sick from worrying that Trump might win a second term, I just went to the computer and typed up my information on 2^nd South until nearly 5 in the morning before going back to bed.

            I woke back up when Coco arrived at 7 and just got up to make coffee although I was not interested in the news because fearful of another Trump upset. I didn’t leave the house today except to take Coco home at 4:30. I brought Mike Romero most of the Cabbage Soup because it was way more than I could ever eat and I know Kyle Foote won’t have any. In fact, I didn’t see him after he came home.

            I did string a rope light I bought at Wal-Mart on the front porch just to be doing something outside. It’s white so I can leave it up all year as kind of a night porch light.

I took down the American Flag I fly from my back porch. I am so disgusted with how things are going in America. It’s not my America anymore.

            When I did listen to the news I was heartened to hear that Biden won Wisconsin.

Biden is at 264 in the Electoral College and if he gets Nevada's 6 votes, it’s all over for Trump although he declared himself the winner today.

Several states are already gearing up for right wing terrorists to cause havoc when or if Trump loses” It’s going to get hairy between now and January” Buckle up.

            I ground the rest of the chuck roast and seasoned it with spices to make chili this weekend when the weather drops. Bill Poore and I are going to lunch tomorrow.

Utah reported 2,110 new coronavirus cases today, the second-highest increase since the pandemic began and record hospitalizations for the fourth day in a row. The previous record of 2,292 new cases on October 30. Utah’s death toll now is at 625.  

There were two public service announcements on television tonight that is so revealing. It was disgusting that BYU's head football coach’s PSA only said to wash hands and socially distance while the U of U's head football coach’s PSA said wear a mask to prevent the spread of the virus. Utah County is so full of willfully ignorant people more afraid of the radical right wing religious liberty crazies than they are of a deadly disease

5 November 2020 Thursday

Jim Dabakis came over at 9:30 this morning that kind of surprised me as he has never come that early before to bring Taco Belle. He’s still not feeling well but we sat on the veranda and visited for a bit about the election. He made me nervous that Nevada might not go for Biden. God forbid. Before he went home I sent with him the remainder of the beef and cabbage vegetable soup I made the other day. I said I would keep taco Belle as long as he needed me to do so.

I went out to lunch with Bill Poore today and we went to the Olympian Restaurant over on 7^th East and 21^st South and had a nice lunch even though we both ordered breakfast. It was good to get out and at the place they seated everyone a good social distance from one another as that every other booth seating was empty.  I had biscuits and gravy but couldn’t eat much.

            On the way out, I saw Garth Chamberlain sitting with this kid having lunch so I stopped to say hi. The boy said he remembered me from one of the discussion groups I was at so that kind of flattered me. His name is Jordan Hagan and he’s the same age as Danny Montoya.

            I gave Bill a loaf of Zucchini bread and a loaf of Banana Nut bread and he finally gave me the handicap sticker that will be good until 2022. Bill didn’t have his hearing aids in and even took out his dentures because he said he wasn’t used to wearing them any more as he rarely goes out.

I just let him reminisce about his glory days at the Helen Hays Theater in New York and on Fire Island where he lived for a couple of summers at a house of a theater producer.

There’s still no presidential election results as of yet, although Biden is at 264 with even Arizona swinging his way and electing 2 Democratic Senators.

My sister Donna Jones called me from Arizona this afternoon to tell me that my niece Denise Wachs is having a stint put in her heart. When I texted Denise to ask if she was okay and she said “Not sure. Feeling kind of blah. See my doctor tomorrow.  Had 80% blockage in my main artery in my heart.” That is scary. Donna was doing fine otherwise. I gave her James Clarks phone number because she didn’t have it.

            Today I asked Kyle Foote if he was okay to pay rent this month and he responded that tomorrow is his payday so he could pay then. It is so hard for me to ask for money. I am not sure why.

After taking Coco home. I came back to see that Kyle and Danny Montoya were home. Kyle received his passport in the mail today so he was excited about that although he won’t be able to use it for another month. I’ve never had a passport in my life.  He also had the Build Team trailer parked in the side driveway because he said it had been broken into twice when left at a job site.

Covid19 is spiking in Utah with 2800 cases, over 500 more than the state's previous single-day record and hospitals starting to get maxxed out with a total of 389 COVID-19 patients currently hospitalized. There’s also 632 deaths this year mostly older people preventable if younger people would have worn their masks.

I don’t care anymore after the majority of Utahns voted for Trump. Utahns deserve what they get for being so mean spirited and callous.

6 November 2020 Friday

I am wide awake at 3 this morning while the pups are sound asleep” the sleep of the innocence “ the temperature outside is 60 degrees this November 6th! Wow, so unusual but they say rain and snow this weekend” I heard that old age is just waking up at 3 in the morning and trying to find something to do” I am living proof of that” I’ve had my coffee already” I want my dogs' life.

            When I started my day I cooked a pot of pinto beans and made some chili in the morning. I was kind of tired and didn’t do much except laundry and changing the sheets on my bed. I also made some cornbread from scratch that was just okay so I thought I’d turn it into cornbread dressing.

            Then what a day it turned out to be. About 3 in the afternoon as I was trying to make some cornbread dressing a huge gust of wind blew through the yard like a micro-burst and then all of a sudden the power went off. I wondered if it was just the house but it appeared that the whole neighborhood was without electricity.

            My phone battery was low so I went for a drive to charge it in the car. I could see that the lights were on elsewhere so it was just our little area. I was hoping they would be back on when I came back but they weren’t so I had Michael Romero come get Coco because I didn’t trust taking the pups through the garage with the garage door wide opened.

            Because I have a gas range I was able to boil some chicken to feed the pups which I did out on the veranda as the house was getting too dim. I had my kerosene lantern and candles so I had some light.

            When Kyle Foote and Danny Montoya came home the house was dark and Rocky Mountain Power said it would be 8:30 at the earliest before power would be restored so they asked me if I wanted to go out to eat with them and I said yes although I wasn’t all that hungry, I just wanted the company.

            Danny wanted to go to Buffalo Wings out in West Valley which is basically a sports bar. I knew Kyle was not all that enthusiastic about going there because its mainly finger food and Kyle is picky about eating with his hands.  Danny drove and must have been distracted because he was all over the road and made me really nervous.

However once there I had a nice time with them even though I could tell that Kyle was dissatisfied with what Danny ordered. He didn’t like the salsa that went with the chips, Danny didn’t like the Quesada or the Buffalo wings that he ordered and was the reason we went there in the first place. I ordered onion rings and I think I was the only one not unhappy with what I had. The place was basically a sports bar with huge television screens all over the place with football on and lots of noise. I would never have gone to a sports bar on my own choice.

            Kyle however made me laugh a few times with some risqué comments which made me realize again why I love him. It’s so unusual for him to make any sexual innuendoes around me.

            After leaving the restaurant it was only 7:30 and we had to kill some time before going back to the house so we stopped at Ross Dress for Less that was in the same shopping center. Even though we went just to look around, Kyle and Danny did end up buying a few items. At the entrance to the store there was a guy with a number flip chart keeping track of how many people were being let into the store. It’s our new reality.

            Kyle had a message from Rocky Mountain on his phone now saying it would be midnight before the power was restored. So, Danny wanted for them to go to see a movie and while they asked me I just had them take me home as I was really tired.

            The house was pitch black with just a flicker of a flame from the lamp I left burning as I had extinguished all the candles before leaving the house. The pups were so happy for me to be home and we just went straight to bed.

            I was wakened at 9:30 however when the power came back on. So that was that. All in all, it was a warm day outside if cloudy and breezy.

            Today in Utah there were 17 Covid19 deaths and 2987 infected from the corona virus because idiots believe wearing a mask and social distancing takes away peoples free agency and liberties. Utah has failed in its duty to sacrifice for the greater good.

            There’s still no victory for Biden yet but just a matter of time as Pennsylvania, Georgia, and Nevada continue to count their votes. Trump is already claiming victory because he claims all the votes for Biden are fraudulent. 

7 November 2020 Saturday

I was up again way too early at 3 in the morning. I think that is going to be my new sleep pattern. At 10, Kyle Foote came upstairs while I was working on the computer to inform me that the presidential election has been called for Joe Biden. The count in Pennsylvania put him over the 270 thresh hold. Oh, Happy Day! May rhyme and reason reign once more in America” the dark days of deliberate divisiveness is now behind us. It’s the beginning of the end of the national nightmare known as the Trump era. However petulant Donald refuses to concede even making the claim that he won the election if the “fraudulent” votes were not counted. Unbelievable.

            Kyle asked if I wanted to join Danny Montoya and him for a celebratory breakfast and I said certainly. We went to the Our Kitchen café in Foxborough on Redwood again. I had biscuits and gravy again while Kyle had a huge waffle and Danny had a Chorizo breakfast platter. Danny drove and he is such a distracted driver that I really don’t like going with them when he drives. He’s always looking at videos on his phone and doesn’t pay attention to the road. He really makes me nervous especially since he doesn’t know where he is going to half the time and makes turns at the last minute. At left lights he is always delayed because he is looking at his phone which drives me crazy. It doesn’t seem to bother Kyle any, however.

            At the house the garage door latch that pulls the door up wouldn’t catch after I had released it yesterday when the power went off. Eventually Kyle managed to get it reattached when I couldn’t.

            Jim Dabakis came to retrieve Taco in the afternoon. He said he was feeling much better and I gave him some of the ham and split pea soup I made this morning to take with him. Kyle came up from downstairs when Jim was here to listen to Jim’s take on the election and to share in our great relief.

            I said that last Wednesday I had taken down my American flag I display from my veranda because I was disgusted that so many people were voting for fascism. I was so discouraged knowing that so many Americans were voting for Trump and that Mitch McConnell was reelected in Kentucky. I said that I put it back up today and now I can also clean out all my anti Trump memes from my computer files. I said I am keeping the anti-Republicans though.

We were all excited that the 2nd most powerful person in the world is a woman of color with a South Asian heritage “God Bless America.  The Ben McAdams race in the 4^th District is still too close to call. It goes back and forth between McAdams and Owens just by a few hundred votes.

When I went out shopping later I overheard people talking, lamenting Trump’s loss and that they believed that the Supreme Court will intervene. Trump is racist America’s last Great White Hope.

This evening, I watched Joe Biden and Kamala Harris give speeches from their election celebrations as President and Vice President Elect. It was held in Wilmington, Delaware and it looked like a giant tail gate party as that because of social distancing there were hundreds of cars there. The news showed street celebrations all across the country as people were joyously anticipating the dawning of a new era.

Listening to President Biden, how much like cool clear water to a parched throat was his conciliatory speech. It was so refreshing to hear a President talk about what he wants to do for Americans instead of only talking about himself.

I was excited that there’s going to be “First Dogs” in the White House again “Biden even has a shelter dog as his pet. Trump is the first president to never have a dog. That is so telling about his narcissistic character.

            This evening, we had some rain here but not the big storm I was expecting. It was in the mid-sixties most of the day.

            I finally talked to my new neighbor who is moving into the Hall’s house. His name is Victor and is a handsome Latino. I saw him from my veranda as he was piling his truck up with wood debris that the Halls had left in their back yard. He has a German Sheppard. 

T.J. Otaka posted this today, “There is a moment when I proudly feel I am a true citizen of this country. Today is such a day. I became a citizen so I could cast my vote to make a small difference in this country. Sometimes we win. Sometimes we lose. That's democracy and I fully embrace it.

The other day, I came across Benedgar Williams' post that said we have an obligation to vote as a citizen because 230,000 Americans could not vote even if they wanted to. He is right. I feel I have also voted for my friend who was among those 230,000. He was a good-hearted Italian American who was proud of his heritage and his country. I would like to share this moment of joy with him.”

8 November 2020 Sunday

Well, the snow is finally coming down this morning. Yesterday we were supposed to have a rain storm but it didn’t really materialized so it must have come today as its been

Snowing all day big flakey snow.  The weather is good to snuggle up with pups and watch the tube which I did for much of the day.

            In the afternoon Kyle Foote came upstairs and asked if I wanted to go with him to Loco Pollo to pick up some lunch. It was really snowing hard once on the freeway and almost a whiteout. I guess Danny Montoya left last night.

            Kyle said that he hired 3 more people and that he has nearly 18 people working for Build Team now and has 3 million dollars in contracts now. We talked about what a difference a year can make. He even has a passport now.  I ordered 3 chicken street tacos which was more than enough. I also had pinto beans and corn bread to eat up

Pups are snoozing this wintry Sunday evening as I watched some CBS shows like “Young Sheldon” and “Mom.” TJ loves the little bed that I bought for him as he’s all curled up in it. Buster has already gone to bed and its only 7 but feels like it is past our bed time.

I am grateful to have a warm house, electricity, clean water, and plenty of groceries for me and the pups as the snow piles up. I hope that the homeless are out of the freezing cold tonight but I am sure the shelters are hot spots for the corona virus.

I hope all the Fox News commentators and charlatan Evangelicals who said they’d leave the country if Trump doesn’t win, have their passports in good working order. Maybe Russia will grant them political asylum.

I went to bed at 8:30 since I had been up since 4 this morning.

9 November 2020 Monday

It was a cold November day and it didn’t get above 40 degrees, I believe. But since I never went out anywhere except to take Coco home I guess it didn’t matter. When Kyle Foote came home we visited some and he looked tired. He hired three new people today and now has I think 18 people working for Build Team and has 15 design projects that his crew is working on. I let him have the rest of split pea soup I made the other day and after giving me a deep hug he went down stairs.

There was a statewide emergency alert sent out last night after I went to bed making wearing a mask mandatory in the state of Utah. After 650 deaths, tens of thousands affected, and 8 months later Utah’s Republican milque toast governor finally does something after his weekly jeremiads that Utahns aren’t listening to counsel. Of course, he made the announcement after his boy Cox was elected and his Messiah Trump lost but “All is Well in Zion” as the snow falls and Utahns are planning their big holiday family feasts. Well, there won’t be lights on at Temple Square this year, so that’s’ hopeful that it will keep the Utah County wackos from coming into the city.

Don’t set a place for Grandma and Grandpa at the table this year because they will be dead.

Covid19 should be called what it really is a "Republican enabled disease." The plague was fueled by a moronic megalomaniac fearing that the American people, knowing the serious of the virus, would hurt him politically.

He called it a Democratic hoax, no worse than the flu, that it would be over by Easter, and he became a super spreader at his rallies so that his insane ego could be stroked. 

He criticized health professionals, politicized the CDC, brought home thousands of Americans from infected Europe, threw out the Obama Administration's lessons learned from the Ebola outbreak, and cut back on person protection equipment for front line workers .

The result is that millions are infected in Red States that went overwhelmingly for Trump. Texas has over a million cases of the Corona Virus and Utah has issued a state of emergency.

"For they sow the wind, And they reap the whirlwind."

This is a Republican Plague spread by false narratives, Fox News, and the President of the United States. This is what happens when one party is dominated by anti-science adherents. 

Climate change is going to make this Republican plague seem like nothing as more and more hurricanes, droughts, and forest fires sweep across the land.

Utah is in a crisis now because Republican leadership only listens to influential businessmen who are more concerned with profits than people.

 Sadly, Utah is on fire while Governor Herbert lamely tries to do something he should have done 6 months ago but he has that Utah County mindset that individual rights are more important than the general welfare of the state.

Republicans- "always shutting the door after the barn has burned down."

Well like Moses I have seen the promise land of milk and honey a land without Pharaoh Trump but because of a deadly plague sent to crush him, I might not make it down the mountain after 4 years of America wandering in the wilderness”

Wearing a mask and not lamb blood over the lintel hopefully will have the angel of death pass me by in 2020 but if not feed my pups”

            It was smart of me to prepay for the disposal of my mortal husk when it time to join the Elysium Fields where my friends and family are gathered.

Don’t wonder for whom the bell tolls “it tolls for thee

10 November 2020 Tuesday

There’s nothing to report today. The only time I left the house was to go grocery shopping at Smith’s to buy dog treats, and other items I needed and to take Coco home. Mike is taking tomorrow and the rest of the week off so I won’t see Coco until next week but I am sure Taco will be here later this week.

I must be bored because I started wondering why you don’t see Life Savers candy at the checkout anymore?  I loved butter rum and next favorite was cherry” I don’t want a big bag of them just a roll “I remember buying them at Xmas time like in a book” I hated the mints” they used to be 5 cents” remember when 3 Musketeer Bars were a nickel and were big enough to be split into 3rds? That’s why they were called 3 Musketeers

            It was very cold today in the mid 30’s but no snow. They say it will warm back up next week.

            It’s been a week since the election and Trump refuses to concede.  

11 November 2020 Wednesday

Today is Veterans Day and I never left the house nor saw another individual. It was cold today and snowed off and on for much of the day but not like Sunday’s storm where we are here by the airport.

            I spent much of the morning posting on Face Book old photographs of Dad’s service in World War II, of his ship the USS Gamble and pictures of Saipan. The rest of the day I spent at least 10 hours back in time researching the folks that lived on 200 South during the 1940’s. I found that the Suzuki family and the Mizuta family were part of the internment of California Japanese during World War II. The Suzuki family were uprooted from San Francisco and were interred at Topaz and the Mizuta family was  from the Visalia area and sent to Gila River in Arizona. There’s so much forgotten history on that little Salt Lake City block. I love rediscovering the phantoms.

Eighteen more Utah Middle Schools and High Schools have switched to on line learning. Maybe opening schools up during an epidemic was another stupid Republican decision “now 1 in 4 Utah’s are testing positive spread by 15 to 24 year oldie don’t blame the kids but the adults who were supposed to have made decisions based on science not economics and fantasies.

The positivity rates in Utah are over 23% today with the total number of cases 2,335 today.

Could the moronic Trump supporters make up their minds? Is it "Count all the votes" or is it "Stop the count"? It’s almost like their schizophrenics. Trump only wants "positive" people around him. It appears that most of them are. I can’t wait to hear that Utah’s Attorney General Sean Reyes has tested positive from being around so many trump supporters during his Quixotic facts finding crusade to prove Trump was defrauded from a second term. Sean Reyes seditious comments need to cease immediately

12 November 2020 Thursday

I didn’t leave the house today. Jim Dabakis came over in the morning, bringing Taco for a play date. Other than that, I didn’t see a living soul. I finally published on the Utah History Site my research on 200 South for the decade of the 1940s. I need to make some minor grammar corrections but it basically is finished.

There were 3900 cases of Covid19 in Utah today. Utah's conservative, callous, and cavalier attitude towards Covid19 is nothing short of genocide of the elderly.

I want pimiento cheese spread so much”  I could live on this stuff” but I don’t want to venture out so will save the recipe for another day

3 cups (12 ounces) shredded white cheddar cheese

2 cups (8 ounces) shredded yellow sharp cheddar cheese

4 ounces crumbled blue cheese

1 cup shredded parmesan cheese

1 (4-ounce) jar sliced pimientos, drained

1 cup light mayonnaise

2 tablespoons Dijon mustard

White sandwich bread

13 November 2020 Friday

I woke up with a "stiff neck" this morning. I guess I slept weird on and I had a crick in my neck all day. The hot tub didn’t help or the heating pad I used. May be its nature’s way to tell me quit being so ornery and stubborn.

It’s supposed to rain and snow this weekend so a pot of beef and barley soup sounded good” maybe a small peach cobbler too if I get ambitious. I am just self-quarantining like they say and trying to stay sane.

Kyle Foote called me this afternoon to let me know that one of his design person was going to call me to make an appointment to come and talk to me about what improvements are going to be down by Build  Team. Her name is Morgan and she is coming at 3 this Monday to take pictures and talk with me so I will have to clean the kitchen and bathroom really well.

            I was surprised that Kyle and Danny Montoya came home so early, for them, around 5 and they brought a pizza from Dominoes and garlic bread for supper. I had a small slice. We watched Priscilla Queen of the Desert because I thought Danny might enjoy it as we had never seen it, but I don’t think he got much out of it, as he was on his phone, and also fell asleep.  Kyle watched all of it and that was all I cared about.

            It was overcast and sprinkled some this evening, and it was really windy with a storm coming in.

            I guess Georgia has been called finally for Biden and North Carolina for Trump. They were the last states to finish counting and Georgia gave Biden 306 electoral votes the same amount that Trump won by in 2016 when they said back then it was a “landslide.”

Utah killed off more of its seniors today “ death toll over 700 now, mainly seniors There’s 700 people who won’t be having Thanksgiving with their families this year. So, people need to quit bellyaching if they aren’t with theirs. Covid19 is now the 3rd leading cause of death in Utah.

14 November 2020 Saturday

I woke up at 1 this morning by a fierce rainstorm pounding the house. There was thunder and lightning which scared poor Lulubelle. I only left the house today to take Taco Belle home to Jim Dabakis.

I had good old fashion shepherd pie for lunch. It’s a good way to get my veggies in.  I made a peach cobbler in the small 6 inch Pyrex square cooking dishes I bought a month ago at Deseret Industries. It’s the perfect size for a small dish of peach cobbler this breezy frigid November.

            It was cold and breezy for most of the day. In the evening, I watched “Zodiac” a movie about the Zodiac Killer from the early 70’s. It was really good.

The Right to Life folks in Utah just killed off 9 more seniors while their false god Trump slinks around the White House with nary a word about our suffering. Over 4000 positive cases of Covid19 today in Utah. Remember when Herbert trusted Utahns to get the case load below 400? Kind of explains why Burgess Owens can be elected over Ben McAdams because the majority of Utahns live in a bubble of mean spirited Conservatism” ITS ALL ABOUT ME

15 November 2020 Sunday

 

I've got a misery in my neck shoulder that Tylenol and a heating pad just ain’t cutting it. I was up early because of the discomfort and figured I better stay off the computer because the hours I spent on it researching and writing may have cause a stress tension. 

I tried an ice pack while watching my shows and that seemed to help some. I hate using Ben Gay or Icy Hot because of the smell. Oh well pain means I am still among the living.

Did some mopping and a little cleaning for the Build Team woman that is coming over tomorrow to take pictures but I didn’t have much energy to clean.

Kyle Foote and Danny Montoya invited me to go with them to Our Kitchen Café in North Salt Lake for breakfast. I had been up since 3:30 this morning and already had some pancakes for breakfast but since it was nearly 11 in the morning when we went, I agreed to go just to be with them. I had a small order of biscuits and gravy.

I watched a lot of programs today because I stayed off the computer. I’ve been watching The Crown, Upload, and Star Trek’s Discovery mainly.

It was gloomy and damp out for much of the day.

I sent Bill Poore an invite for Thanksgiving but haven’t heard back. They’d be only five of us if that.

I know Republicans tried to kill me in my 30's by ignoring one plague. I didn’t think I'd have to deal with it again in my senior years. Republicans didn’t care when Gay men were dying of AIDS and now they could not care less about old people.  Utah killed seven more Seniors today. The death count is 718 now” Utah is more or less putting its old people on an ice float and letting polar bears get at them like the Inuits used to do to get rid of the elderly.

16 November 2020 Monday

I think I caught something, because the soreness in my neck and shoulder hasn’t gone away and it’s been 3 days. I am kind of achy too. I’m not running a fever and I can still taste and smell food. It’s probably some other bug but you never know.

            Kevin Scott responded to my post saying, “That's a relief. Still, be cautious and never let your guard down. My mother caught Covid-19 in the hospital after she broke her leg. She's been in the hospital going on three months.”

Achy or not, I had a lot of work to do today because that gal named Morgan from Build Team was coming over to photograph the house. So, I scrubbed, Mopped, Dusted, vacuumed and it was kind of a lot of effort for not much return. She came over at 3:30 in the afternoon and took a few pictures but had forgotten to bring her 3 D camera so she asked if she could come back this Thursday and I said sure. So, I have to really keep the house up and with 5 little dogs running in and out it can be a challenge when not feeling well.

            I went grocery shopping in the morning and for some cleaning supplies. I bought some Rhodes Frozen Bread which I haven’t in years just to bake and have the house smell fresh. I also bought a bag of Cheetos. I haven’t eaten Cheetos in 4 years but now that the despot’s days are numbered I can have a cheesy treat again.

            I made a pot of Chicken Noodle soup. I had Mike Romero come get Coco because I felt too achy and kind of dizzy. I gave him some Chicken soup to take home and half the baked bread, and the rest of the Peach Cobbler I made. 

Bill Poore finally got back to me about Thanksgiving and he declined saying he’s going over to his sister Janice Marcus for dinner.

I fell asleep at 730 this evening and woke up thinking it must be in the morning but it was only 10:45 at night. I was wide awake then” an old man's issues. The dogs are all asleep though.

17 November 2020 Tuesday

I was able to get back to sleep and actually slept until 7 this morning. I don’t have a fever but I think sleeping with a heating pad made me sweat all night yuck. My shoulder is still sore but a bit better.

I woke up from a dream where I was at a home that was having a Thanksgiving Dinner. I know it was a family gathering but the only ones I recognized were my cousin Beverly Danforth and Betty Danforth who are not with us anymore but in our hearts and memories. I couldn’t eat so I was in the kitchen cleaning and prepping. It's what I do.

Barbara Danforth later commented, “So it’s confirmed. Beverly and Betty are in heaven, arm in arm, skipping from one persons’ dream to another, and enjoying it immensely.”

            My dream made me remember all the community Thanksgivings I was in charge of back in the late 1980s, held at the Resurrection Metropolitan Community Church and the Unitarian Church. Since I was once a dormitory cook at the University of Irvine I knew how to prepare and coordinate large dinners for between 50 and a hundred people.

There were lots of community helpers putting it all together with fun and laughter. I also ended up usually tipsy from drinking” just to keep going. Also, I was doing most of the cleaning up, so Thanksgiving was always a long and exhausting day but so rewarding. It’s what you do for family and back then the Gay community was my family.

After I stop being an active community leader I would still hosts many, many Thanksgiving dinners at my apartments and my house” lots of good food, good food, and good memories. This year Thanksgiving will just be being Thankful we are healthy and have a roof over our head.

I’m still a little achy but better. I took TJ to the Dog Grooming School  to have his nails clipped this morning. One was curling back into his paw. I won’t do it myself because TJ screams like a banshee and won’t be still. Maxx goes in tomorrow and Buster Thursday.

Lulubelle came into my life 4 years ago when she was about 5 years old so she 9 now. I love the little piddling pill. Kyle Foote wrote “She may be an unrepentant piddle factory, but she's still my favorite.”

I just rested and watched a lot of TV and I stayed off the computer. Researching and writing about 2^nd South can wait but I was bored which means I must be getting better.

So, since the weather was too nice to be sick, I dragged out the Christmas drag and decorated the outside front porch. I left up my Thanksgiving Turkey though. I will put up a tree after Thanksgiving. Even though I’m not going to have any dinner parties this year I might as well keep up the Coming Yuletide Cheer.

I felt well enough to take the pups for a ride when I took Coco home. Mike Romero said several of the guys at Queststar have come down with Covid19.

At 5:30 it was still 66 degrees outside. My holiday lights are on a timer and they come on when it’s dark so now the lights come on pretty early.  

When Kyle came home he was super tired and I gave him the rest of the Shepherd Pie. He said that he didn’t know whether Danny Montoya would be here for Thanksgiving or not so it might just be three of us. I saw on Face Book that Bill Poore had declined an invitation to his sister’s place so I guess he just wants to be alone. I can hardly blame him. Going out, in his poor health condition, would be like a death sentence if he caught Covid19.

18 November 2020 Wednesday

Maxx had his pedicure this morning and tomorrow Buster will get his. I am also having Maxx bathed and deshedded tomorrow so will see if that helps any. I went to my Vietnamese barber and had a beard and hair trim myself. It’s been since September. He cut everything so short that It will probably be January before I need another.

            I made some Taco Soup today with ground beef, spices, green bell peppers, kidney beans, hominy, and diced tomatoes. I eat it with a topping of Fritos for the crunch. Yummy.

            I went into Bountiful to take the car through the Mister Wash that is up there on 500 South. Mike Romero told me about it and it’s a bit easier to get to than going down to 17^th South and 3^rd West. I also stopped at the Smith’s Market place I used to go to all the time when I worked at Washington elementary. I bought a loaf of Italian Bread and a few things. Not much because I really didn’t need anything. I guess I just want to go inside for old times’ sake.

I added some more holiday flair to the front steps. I haven't decided whether to put my pink Yuletide/Xmas tree out on the front porch” too gaudy?

When Kyle Foote came home he was excited to tell me about the prospects of buying 8 acres in Taylorsville for development. When Danny Montoya isn’t around Kyle comes up to visit with me and give me a hug before heading down to his man cave.

I finished watching the first season of Upload on Prime Amazon. It was interesting about how in 2033 people could upload their memories and consciousness into a virtual reality. I’ve also been watching Star Trek Discovery on CBS and The Crown on Netflix.

Mask less sociopathic Utahns have murdered 9 more people today. There's going to be 740 empty places at the Thanksgiving table this year. I am living in Utah among pious selfish trump supporters lacking any real compassion.

I’ve worn a mask, stayed inside my house, and done my part for the past 10 months, while many Utahns have gathered in large groups, attended large social parties, sporting events, and screamed that their liberties were being taken by the state. 

Dolly Parton donated a million dollars for the research on the Moderna Covid19 vaccine which is reported to be 95 percent effective. She never told the public she did it either. She is the difference between someone who is a true humanitarian and someone like petulant Trump who spends 100s of millions of dollars golfing and seeks the praise of sycophants and bigots.

19 November 2020 Thursday

I gathered up Buster and Maxx this morning to take them down to the Dog Grooming School so as to have Buster’s nails clipped and a de-shedding condition done on Maxx. Before that, however because it was pleasant outside, I took Lulubelle on a walk around the block.

            At 11:30 I went and picked up some Chow Mein from Golden Pearl and just as I came home, Jim Dabakis was dropping off Taco so I had him come in and we visited a bit. He is going to have to see a specialist and have a MRI done for his back pain. I hope it not sciatica. I gave him a jar each of Chicken Noodle Soup and the Taco Soup I made this week to take home.

I think I eat out of habit but not really hungry at all. It’s such a waste to order out for me as I don’t eat much. I ate a few bites of my pork Chow Mein and a half of a  shrimp and I was done with lunch. I don’t like reheated Chinese Food but I had a little more for my supper and let Lulubelle have some. The rest of the pups had the roast beef that Jim brought over.

Morgan from Build Team came back over with her camera and interviewed me for a promo and when she photographed the house I took all the pups even Buster for a ride to get them out of the house. However later she texted me that something went wrong with the filming and wanted to return so I said she could again tomorrow morning.

I didn’t see Kyle Foote any today. I just watched a few episodes of the Crown and an episode of the Mandalorian before heading to bed.

I wonder if people are staying home for Thanksgiving or going out? The CDC suggests that people stay home but many won’t. I think there will be just three of us here this year so while I will prepare a traditional meal, it will be greatly reduced. I probably will make just one small pumpkin pie and save making a pecan pie for Xmas.

It’s important to stay safe so we are all around for Xmas this year.

The Republican death cult murdered 18 more Utahns today with 4000 testing positive”.

20 November 2020 Friday

This woman named Morgan from Build Team came over at 11:30 this morning to finish up her project of taking a 3D picture of the rooms in the house. Now I can go back to being a slob living alone. I made some onion soup today and cooked up some spaghetti sauce. I guess just to be doing something.

Well since Thanksgiving is a bust this year I went ahead and put up a few festive holiday items to lift the spirit. I put out my Nativity Scene, my fiber optic Xmas Tree and some holiday stuffed animals and called it good.

I saw Kyle Foote just briefly when he came home at 4:30 and I was putting the pups into the FIT to take Coco home. I half expected him to come up and visit when I came home but he didn’t.

I just watched the CBS’ Young Sheldon, Mom, and several episodes of Star Trek Discovery before heading to bed.

I did subscribe to this Gay channel called Dokkoo that Jim Dabakis told me about yesterday. So maybe that will be entertaining during the long upcoming winter.

Utahns' incredible callousness has murdered 17 more senior today with 4500 new positive  Covid19 cases” how many of them will have to be hospitalized “How many will  die? We have been warned since March how to avoid this catastrophe but the selfish Republican attitude of " if it’s not happening to me I don’t care" prevailed” Well it’s happening now and its inundating our hospitals and devastating our health care personnel. And now Herbert says no restrictions on your holiday gatherings. Republicanism “ It’s a death cult

Kevin Scott wrote, “I have no idea why I even try to reason with them. Some jerk I talked to today wanted to know why he should care about people he doesn't even know. I told him that I pity him for flunking Humanity 101. The pandemic has only made me painfully aware of how backward a nation I live in.”

Russell Pack added, “Infuriating! And some knucklehead on Face book yesterday told me it was "heavenly father's and heavenly mother's will" so don't fight against it. Good grief! Just about the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard.”

The Trump tried to persuade Michigan legislators to overturn the popular vote of the state and give him the electors.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PRESIDENT BIDEN

21 November 2020 Saturday

I went out grocery shopping this morning because Lulubelle was out of her Caesar’s dog food that she thinks she must have.  I also took Taco Belle home to Jim Dabakis so as to give the pups a ride.  I also brought him a jar of French Onion Soup. 

            I spent the rest of the evening hunkered down watching the Mandalorian and some Simpson episodes before falling asleep.

22 November 2020 Sunday

I worked on researching the people and events of 200 South in the 1960’s and 1970 when the area had turned mostly African American. Only time I left the house was to give the pups a ride and I went to Del Taco in Foxborough where I bought a tostado and some tamales.

When I returned home, Kyle Foote and Danny Montoya drove up. So, I guess Danny is back. I was feeding the pups their supper and they sat in the front room and I visited a little with Kyle. He seemed awfully tired and Danny was busy staring at his phone instead of interacting. That generation will never know how rude that is to be constantly looking at the phone rather than conversing with those in front of you.

            I told Kyle that I would probably not go out to breakfast tomorrow with his Build Team people.  I think it is just a bit risky at this time with a surge of Covid19 cases and when nearly a 4^th of all those being tested having the virus. Biscuits and Gravy is probably not worth the chance of being exposed because you have to be mask less to eat.

            I didn’t pay any attention to the news today or watch any television.

Between now and Dec 21 (winter solstice) Saturn and Jupiter will gradually appear to approach each other in the night sky until about a tenth of a degree separates them. The last time they were this close together in a great conjunction, Galileo was still alive - which was almost 400 years ago.

23 November 2020 Monday

It was another day of self-quarantining. I didn’t go to Kyle Foote’s Team Building breakfast as I thought it wouldn’t be prudent.  So, I stayed home researching 200 South in the 1960’s and 1970’s. What a rough period that old street went through at the time.

I did decorate my pink Christmas tree, although the lights don’t seem to work anymore. I put it out on the front porch, tacky but festive.

            Other than that, and seeing Michael Romero when I took Coco home, that was the extent of my interaction with any human being today. Except when I went to Lucky’s early in the morning to get some items to make Bacon and Bean Soup, I did greet the cashier with pleasantries. I made 4 pints of soup and gave one to Michael. I guess I will make my pumpkin pie tomorrow.

            It rained today, more of a steady drizzle than a good rain but we will take what we can get since we are in a drought. I didn’t even know we were supposed to get any moisture that is how out of it I’ve been.

24 November 2020 Tuesday

Horrors! I used up the last of my sugar making 4 mini loaves of date nut bread and I have a pumpkin pie to make still! So, I guess I will mask up in the morning and venture out into the Corona Jungle to snag some sweetness.

I made an appointment with Paul Stauffer who operates a massage business from his home at 132 Sterling [3650] in Bountiful. My appointment is for was at 1:30 in the afternoon this Friday.  I really need my shoulder and neck worked on, especially by a naked man.

Utah has now killed 808 people mostly seniors as of today” no sense in it except for jackasses politicizing wearing a piece of cloth across their face. Enjoy going to see Grandma for Thanksgiving because she probably won’t be here for Christmas if you do.

25 November 2020 Wednesday

I went out early this morning to Smith’s Grocery Store to get some sugar and some other items like more dog treats. I then made my pumpkin pies and baked them this morning. It feels weird to be planning such a small dinner for tomorrow but grateful to be able to have it at all.

            Michael Romero came over at noon to pick up Coco as his work place closed early for the holidays so later I took the pups for a ride because they feel so deprived if I don’t.

            I mostly worked on researching the rooming house hotel that once stood at 528 ½ West on Second South which seemed to have a more sordid history than almost any other building that once stood on the block. There were lots of murders, attempted murders, suicides, accidental deaths, robberies, prostitution, and drugs over 70 years in that one location.

            Kyle Foote and Danny Montoya came home about 6:30 and brought me some dinner from Chubby’s. They spent a little time upstairs to visit some. I guess they went out to Tooele to see a potential client, a Gay couple that had a small animal ranch there. Kyle asked if I knew a Terry Griffin about my age but I didn’t. He sent a huge slice of Carrot Cake home with Kyle and Danny however Kyle doesn’t like cake so I had a piece and it was delicious.

26 more people in Utah are dead today because some people choose to believe wearing a mask is a plot to deprive us of our liberties.

Actor John Hurt died at the age of 77. I enjoyed him in the Naked Civil Servant and Partners and as Caligula in I Claudius.

Trump is the Warren G Harding of the 21st Century “ a big mistake foisted on America by right wing reactionaries.

26 November 2020 Thursday Thanksgiving

There was blanket of icy snow on the ground when I got up at 5 to start the day. It looked like frozen sleet more than snow and it soon melted as the sun came up.

I got kicked off Face Book this morning and was sent to FB jail for 24 hours for a picture I posted on my Bad Boy site lol.  It was a nude man trussed up like turkeys ready for stuffing. Oh well, I did all my well wishes on Face Book before being banned and I could still read other people’s posts. I just couldn’t comment on them or post anything myself for the rest of the day.  

I wrote “Wishing everyone a safe and sane Thanksgiving. 2020 will pass and we want you not to pass” so wear a mask when outside of the house and be super careful.  For those alone today put on some music or movies. Better to be alone today at home than alone in an ICU bed isolated from everyone.

I am thankful this year that the Trumpian Dystopia is almost over and the majority of Americans have restored my faith in my country.  The nightmare is almost over.

We will be together again, don't know where, and don’t know when, but stay safe until then.”

I called TJ Otaka and Jim McMullin to wish them a happy thanksgiving. It’s just the two of them and Jim said he fixed a 13 pound Turkey as that was the smallest he could find lol. I called Alan Anderson and Kyle Daniels also. They had Kyle’s brother and sister in laws over for their dinner and Alan had it made for them and delivered. ..

We had a nice dinner at noon” just Kyle Foote, Danny Montoya, Mike Romero, and me. I roasted a 6 lb. turkey breast that I had soaked in brine over night that the others said was moist and good. I am not much of a turkey person” more of a dressing and cranberries kind of guy.

I fixed a plate of celery with cream cheese, Italian green beans cooked with bacon, buttered corn with diced red bell peppers, candied yams, mashed potatoes and turkey gravy, cornbread dressing, cranberry sauce, and crescent rolls. It sounds like a lot but I made small portions of everything. We also had the pumpkin pies and the portion of carrot cake that Kyle brought from those old queens from Lake Point.

I ate what I could then we watched “Partners” to remember John Hurt who died the other day. Danny must have attention deficient because half the time he couldn’t follow the story line but then he’s looking at his phone most of the time.

            After Mike left around 2:30 and the boys went downstairs, I called my sister Donna Jones to wish her a Happy Thanksgiving. There’s nothing new going on down there.

            In the evening, I still felt like baking so I made 5 mini-loaves of Pumpkin Bread to eventually give away. Kyle came up a few times to fix a plate of leftovers and before going back down I gave him a long deep hug. So, it was a small but pleasant Thanksgiving 2020 after all.

I am going to get a massage tomorrow to work on my shoulder and neck” I need some hands on this old body even if it costs $80.

Peter Crane, a person I have known for years, but don’t really interact with, posted that he has been diagnosed positive for the virus. He said he had been super careful wearing a mask and washing hands but he works as a UTA bus driver so who knows where he picked it up. He’s lost his sense of smell and taste he wrote.

27 November 2020 Friday

This morning at 10 I went into town to retrieve Taco Belle for a weekend play date. I had called Jim Dabakis that I would come and get him as that the pups needed a ride.  Jim said that he would be going to Mexico in December for about a month so I will have the little stinker while he is gone.  I gave Jim a pint of Bacon and Bean Soup and a loaf of pumpkin bread.

Well going to the Bountiful for a massage was a bust. I was there right at 1:30 but Paul Stauffer wasn’t home” just one of the house mates. I left a message for him but, he never texted back which was so unprofessional. So, I guess I will scratch him off my list. Anyway, that was that however I really needed a massage so it was disappointing.

 I went to Lee’s Market for the first time in North Salt Lake because they have an America First Credit Union within the store so I could withdraw money to pay for the massage. Lee’s was a very clean and a nice store. I will have to check it out more often.

I didn’t see Danny Montoya all day and he left this evening. Kyle Foote came up about 5:30 and brought me some Nachos from Del Taco. I wasn’t really hungry but it was the thought that counted.

I watched a Amazon Prime movie called Uncle Frank about a Gay man in 1973 that goes home for his homophobic father’s funeral. It was really good and the main character Paul Bettany, who played Uncle Frank, sure reminded me of old Russ Lane from so many years ago.

Well, it’s been three years since Buster came to join our little crew of pups. The poor guy was so scared he kept biting me whenever I went to pet him and whenever someone would come over he would run and hide. Now he sleeps with me and wants belly rubs.

There are 849 Covid19 deaths in Utah now and because testing centers were closed yesterday the two day tally for people being positive was over 6,000.  They say there will be another major surge in cases in a couple of weeks after Thanksgiving.  I hope I stay well for my pup’s sake but the way it’s going it may just be a matter of time before I get infected just from the little amounts I go out and about.

28 November 2020 Saturday

I spent much of the day researching the events surrounding the old address of 528 West 200 South and writing up some of it. My stomach was gassy and giving me some fits so I didn’t feel like doing much. I did fix a crock pot of ham and split pea soup but that’s about all the cooking I did today.

            Paul Stauffer my masseuse left a message apologizing about the mix up yesterday so we rescheduled for Wednesday at 10 in the morning.

            Kyle Foote was gone for much of the day but came home around 4:00. He said that he had to go to Lehi to deal with an issue at one of his projects down there. Anyway, he said that since he will be “off paper” with his parole next Thursday he wants to fly down to Las Vegas for the weekend to spend time with Danny Montoya and asked if I would take him to the airport. I said I would of course.

            Bill Poore was going to come see the pups but when I texted him he said he was not feeling well. He said he was unstable on his feet when he gets out of bed. He said he was “a hair’s breadth away from going to VA ER”. I offered to take him up there but he declined the stubborn old mule. It’s probably just as well as all the medical facilities are being maxxed out with Covid19 related issues.

            Kyle wanted to go get some Chinese food around 7 tonight but I was still kind of dealing with stomach pains so I said I didn’t want any but would go with him. He ordered from Panda Express at the Gateway and he drove the FIT because we took the dogs for a ride.

            It’s beginning to look like Christmas downtown and the Gateway was all lit up with colored lights of blue and green. I am glad I went or I’d probably not have gone out to see the lights at all as I rarely go out at night anymore and certainly not by myself.

            Well, it’s after Thanksgiving and people in my neighborhood have put up their December decorations. More than I have seen in a long time, I suspect because more and more people are spending additional time at home.

Sean Hannity, Rush Limbaugh, Carlson Tucker, and the other members of the far right goon squad will soon be lamenting the “War on Christmas” trying to divide Americans one against another “Season’s Greetings Y'all

About 104,100 Americans died between 1942 and 1945 fighting the fascists in Europe “the fascists here in America have killed over 250,00O Americans in just 10 months “there should be Nuremberg Trials for every Trump collaborator who called the virus a hoax or used other propaganda to brainwash the masses to believe wearing a mask during an epidemic is depriving them of their liberties.

Utah killed 14 more people today, who died needlessly through Republican negligence by relying on businessmen and not health professionals to manage this crisis. Theocratic Utah is sacrificing seniors to keep high school football going and City Creek Mall open and to placate the archconservative anarchist radicals outside of Salt Lake

Ron Holmgren wrote I watched a group of people protesting wearing masks by going into the stores and not wearing masks. When did the dumbing down of America become so complete?

29 November 2020 Sunday

I realized this morning that my Dentist appointment is on Wednesday at 9 instead of Tuesday like I thought! I contacted my Bountiful masseuse and was able to switch to Tuesday instead at 10 in the morning.

            I put a corned beef in the crock pot to cook all a day as I needed to cook up some of this meat I’ve had in the freezer for a long time before it gets freezer burn.

It’s was a mild day, in the 40’s, but I didn’t go out anywhere but to take Taco Belle home over to Jim Dabakis’. I wanted to give the pups a ride and I brought him a bottle of the Split Pea soup I made yesterday. Jim said that he’d probably leave for Mexico around the 13^th of December and be gone for about a month.

            I was watching “The Man Who Invented Christmas” about Charles Dickens writing a Christmas Carol when the power suddenly went off” but it was Kyle Foote who accidently turned the wrong switch off at the power box.

            I went down stairs to see what was going on and he was out in the garage trying to install another LED light fixture. Since it was dark and he only had his phone flash light, I helped him by using the flashlight in my tablet. Strange that my new phone didn’t have a flashlight which I later downloaded an “app” for one.

            Kyle couldn’t finish it because the door opener was in the way and he has to move the electrical box outlet but will do it later.

            Then he came up looking around and said he couldn’t find his car key. We looked everywhere but he was frustrated because we just couldn’t locate it. So, I suggested going up to Bountiful and retrieve another key for the vehicle so he could get to work tomorrow, which we did.

            I hadn’t been to his office in months and I could see why he is looking for a larger space now because he has so many working there in small cubicles. His business has really expanded for sure. He said he may have nearly 30 people working for Build Team by spring.  He has 18 now.

            Tonight was the first time Kyle and I really visited as that mostly he just comes home, maybe plays with the dogs, say hi to me, then retreats down into the basement.  In fact, tonight was the first time in a long time that I had even been downstairs in his space.

            On the ride to Bountiful, I was surprised a little that he talked about buying some rental property in Las Vegas or even here in City Creek for tax purposes since he has his own place downstairs. I asked him when he planned on doing the upstairs bathroom and he said sooner than later” but I didn’t press him on a time commitment.

            We went to Culvers after retrieving the car key and I had a pumpkin shake and onion rings while Kyle ordered a Roast beef dinner to take home to eat. We talked a bit on the way home about his anxiousness of finally being off paper next Thursday and how his life is changing. I told him he is now doing what he always wanted to do but this time, owning a business the right way and without hurting anyone. It’s a new beginning for the boy for sure.

            There was a beautiful bright luminescent full moon out tonight over the mountains. It was magical.  Back at the house I told Kyle we have been on a long journey together, ten years. He said as he hugged me that he loved me. I know I do love him.

I have two cousins who have a birthday today. My first cousin Stephanie Williams and my first cousin once removed Chris Johnson both share a birthday about 10 years apart.

30 November 2020 Monday

Well, it’s the end of Turkey month and tomorrow we can officially start to drink eggnog. This morning right before noon, I called the Dog Grooming School to make an appointment for Coco and to my surprise they said they could get her in today if I brought her right down which I did. I paid for the deluxe treatment for her and with tip it was about $70. Since she wouldn’t be ready until around 4 I just had Michael pick her up when he got off work.

            Kyle Foote was home around 6 and he said he still couldn’t find his missing key. He fixed himself a bowl of split pea soup and then disappeared back down stairs.

            TJ was hurting today and yelping a lot like he did a year or so again when I had to have weekly shots for his leg joints. I absolutely hate it when he’s in pain and not much I can do. I had some doggy pain pills still so I gave him one hoping it would help.

            My friend Craig Hunter had the sad task of putting down his German Shepherd Zyphrie today. I know what a heart breaking decision that is but it’s what is best when your pup’s quality of life is gone.

            A guy named Travis Rice messengered me on Face book wanting to meet. I thought why not? We exchanged phone numbers and we will see where it goes from there.

            Danny Montoya even sent me a Friend request on face book. I never asked him because I thought he should be the one asking me so I didn’t appear to be needy.

DECEMBER

1 December 2020 Tuesday

I had a bad night last night because TJ had a restless night crying and yelping periodically. Just as I was about to fall asleep he would cry and wake me up. I didn’t dare pet him because seemed that the slightest touch would set him off.

            I got up at 12:30 in the morning and did some research on the old rooming house at 528 ½ West for about  two hours then went back to bed to try and get some rest. Finally, around 6 I just decided to get up and stay up and start my day. I fixed my mocha coffee with marshmallows as I always do but I didn’t have any breakfast at all.

            My appointment for my massage was at 10 in Bountiful so I left the house about 9:30 after showering and got there on time.  While I really enjoy Paul Stauffer’s technique, he visited more with me while massaging this time and said some really wackadoodle stuff like pigs being crossbred between humans and boars by supernatural entities and how eating animal entrails is better than vegetables. I really couldn’t believe some of the nonsense I was listening too but I just lay on the table commenting once in a while saying “interesting.”

            Coming back to the house I kind of expected Travis Rice to contact me because yesterday he said he wanted to come over. While I was waiting I made a batch of mini loaves Zucchini Bread. When they were done, I texted Travis if he was coming over but he never responded so I just went to Lucky’s to get a roasted chicken for the pups. It was a big mistake as that it was the first of the month everyone must have been doing their shopping and I am sure I waited 10 minutes or more just at the checkout line.

            Kyle came home about 6:30 this evening. He informed me that he planned on having his workers come to the house next week to tear out the upstairs bathroom and remodel it. He was looking at the kitchen and visualizing where things should go but that project will be a-ways off.

            TJ seemed to be feeling a bit better today and was playing a bit with Coco but I don’t think he’s completely up to snuff but at least he ate some supper.

            Utah killed 19 more people today bringing the total of those who won’t be spending Christmas together to 890”sure to be over a 1000 at this rate by New Years Eve if not sooner” brought to by your family friendly Republican Party who also wants to defund your health care and make sure you can’t sue your employer for making you come to work in unsafe conditions “

Today is my nephew James’ 52^nd birthday.

2 December 2020 Wednesday

It’s a chilly day for sure mostly in the low 30’s. I went to Roseman Dental clinic this morn at 9 to have a cleaning. My blood pressure was 140 over 55. I always worry about it being too high for them to work on me. After the cleaning it was recommended that I have some work done on a back molar so I made an appointment to go back in tomorrow at 9.

Since I was in the south end of the valley I dropped in to say hi to Jim McMullin and T.J. Otaka and to visit for a little bit. We socially distanced and I wore my tie dyed mask the entire time trying not to be super spreader. I mainly wanted to bring them some loaves of zucchini bread and pumpkin bread I had made. We hadn’t visited since before the glorious election in November. TJ made some homemade doggie treats that Coco goes just nuts for.  They had their Christmas tree and decorations up but no one is going to be doing much for the holidays this year.

I went to Lee’s Supermarket in Foxborough while out to look around it. I bought a few things but didn’t see anything really worth driving north to go shopping. I also bought some gas at Maverick up on Center and Redwood Road for $2.09 a gallon. My electric bill for November was $12.25 so I guess the Solar panels are doing their thing although I am paying nearly $200 a month for them but at least the bill is consistent plus my carbon foot print is less now.

            At home I made some corn chowder for supper tonight. I use bacon, potatoes, red bell peppers, celery, parsley, can of  cream  corn, a roux, chicken stock and half and half “easy peasy. I also baked some Rhodes frozen dough bread.

            When Kyle Foote came home he talked about what he envisions for the kitchen, the bathroom and the rest of the house. What I didn’t realize was that he was planning on re-flooring the entire upstairs including the spare bedroom, maybe even next week while the bathroom is being done.  Everything in the spare bedroom will have to be put somewhere so the carpet can be tore up. He said he’d bring in a crew to move things and lay the floor so it should only take no more than a week. I need to pick a color for the bathroom as well as eventually for the rest of the house.

            I love doing my historical investigation on 2nd South the little street between 500 West and 600 West” so much history I never would have known like when in 1919 25 police officers  raided the street and nabbed 150 Mexican men who they were placed in paddy wagons arrested simply for being Mexican and sent to jail until they could explain what they doing in Salt Lake “many were simply sugar beet laborers or worked for the Denver & Rio Grande railroad” they raided 2nd south because that is where rooming houses existed that would rent to nonwhites and foreigners. The Chief of Police called for the mass arrest after a series of shoplifting occurred in the city” the article also said "peyote weed" was found in the pockets of several arrested” now you know why we needed the ACLU. Today the Mexican Civic Center is on 600 West on north corner of 2nd South

3 December 2020 Thursday

It’s a new beginning for Kyle Foote as he is off paper today and doesn’t have to report to a parole officer any longer.  I sent him a note on Face Book saying congratulations and he wrote back, “This marks the end of an era. I couldn't have made it without you!.” It marks the end of an era for me I suppose. No more long letters from me or form him, no more prison visits, helping him achieve his Associate of Arts  while in prison, and sending him monthly money. I reckon I spent close to $5000 on him or more during the years he was incarcerated.

            I was back at the Dentist this morning at 9 for the repair of a filling in my back lower molar. It was difficult to reach, the corner of my mouth was pulled and stretched so much that it’s really sore now and a little cracked. The dental instructor teacher, who examined the work done, said I had a cavity in an upper right side tooth and since they were slow today, Roseman said I could have it done today if I wanted.

I thought that I better to do it now while I am here rather than later in the winter when who knows what the weather would be or even if they will be open. I learned that lesson last March.

The second filling did not take as long so I spent over two hours getting two cavities drilled and filled. I might be a loud mouth but evidently I don’t have a big mouth and the corners of my mouth usually get slightly cracked.

            On the way home, Jim Dabakis called and asked if I was up for Taco to come over and I said certainly. Kyle Foote had texted me earlier saying he was working from home and suggested we do lunch but later he said he wasn’t up to it but he did come up to visit when Jim Dabakis came over with Taco Belle. He also brought back all the pint jars I had sent soup home with him.

            Jim had good news from all his doctors that he didn’t have a back or hip problem after all and that the bloody stool he had in Mexico was from too much aspirin he had taken and an internal hemorrhoid. The bad news is that he probably has sciatica that he going to have to be careful with but he said once in Mexico he will get a cute personal trainer for some physical therapy.

            I told Jim that this was Kyle’s special day as he is “off paper” now and Kyle shared with Jim how his business is growing and while it’s exciting it’s also anxious as he is responsible for the payroll of at least 18 employees now and he just added a benefit package for each of them. He said that the market is good for growth but hard to find quality people. Kyle said his business is now doing 3 and half million dollars in contracts.

            So, we had a nice visit and I was caught up with their lives while I had little to share of my own. I sent Jim home with a pint of corn chowder and a loaf of zucchini bread. I think it makes him happy to see Taco so at home here and playful knowing his boy is loved and well taken care of.

            Today 4 years ago, I formally adopted Lulubelle changing her name from Cupcake. She’s probably 7 or 8 years old now.

            I didn’t do much else the rest of the day except take Coco home and gave Mike Romero a pint of soup. I had bacon and French toast for my supper and watched some shows. I watched another episode of Star Trek Discovery and a couple of episodes of Netflix’s “Borgia” about Pope Alexander VI that features Jeremy Irons before retiring for the night.

            Trump probably is in a vindictive mood against Republicans for not ensuring him a 2nd term as he is lashing out at Republican governors whose states he lost and others. All these moronic Trump supporters are whining that Trump is attacking them when they should not have been surprised when the snake they took to their bosom bit them” pathetic “.they never cared when others were being bitten.

            It was one of the worst days in America’s history for Covid19 infections and deaths. Here in there’s an over 24% positive rate with 597 hospitalizations, and now 917 deaths.  It’s sure to be a 1000 by Christmas and people still are protesting having to wear a simple mask.

4 December 2020 Friday

I took Maxx down to the Dog Grooming School to have his nails clipped again this morning. After taking him home, I went out to Deseret Industries and bought some pint canning jars that had lid on them. When I went to the grocery store I could not find any canning lids at all. I bought a couple of roasts, two for price of one and some doggy treats while I was out.

            At home I cooked a pot of tomato soup I made from scratch using canned tomatoes and also made some fajitas with red and green bell peppers I had. That was about all the cooking I did today.

            Kyle Foote was home by 2:00 I suppose to get ready for his flight to Las Vegas. He did say that he has two job projects” one is maybe for former state senator Scott Howell and the other is for a Gay couple in the Fair Park area which will be nearly a half a million dollar project. He said he’d like to talk to Jim Dabakis when he gets back about Scott Howell.

            We left for the airport at 3 this afternoon, hugged, and said goodbye for the weekend. How exciting it must be to be leaving the state after 9 long years. Later in the evening he sent me a picture of him and Danny in their room overlooking Las Vegas at night saying he made it in. It’s kind of their first anniversary together also.

5 December 2020 Saturday

I saw this morning that Kyle Foote posted a picture of him and me taken a year ago at the Market Street Grill when he was released from the half way house. He captioned it, “A year to remember! Benedgar Williams has been cheering me on through good and bad for 10 challenging years. He is a grand friend.”

Bill Poore wanted to come over to visit with the pups so I was up early to put a roast in the crock pot to surprise him with a pot roast dinner for him when he came over at noon. I made carrots, peas, mashed potatoes and gravy to go with the pot roast.  He brought a bouquet of Christmas flower when he came over as he is always so thoughtful about that. He was surprised and delighted with the homemade dinner as pot roast is his favorite meal. So, we had a nice two hour visit with Taco sitting in his lap and TJ in mine.

 He didn’t have his hearing aids in so I’m not sure what he actually heard and I was concerned when he said he had difficulty driving over as he ran through a red light with pedestrians in the crosswalk because he didn’t’ see them.

I sent the leftovers and a loaf of pumpkin bread and a pint of tomato soup home with him.  He is so unsteady on his feet. I gave him a walking stick I never use saying that if he doesn’t want to use a cane use the walking stick for balance.

Later Bill wrote: “The best part is bringing home my favorite food to eat tomorrow. Love my mashed potatoes and brown gravy. The carrots are the best I have had in years’. Yum yum It takes me back to Sunday dinners when I was a kid. I love the pups, Taco is such a sweet pup.”

Jim Dabakis came over and retrieved Taco Belle unknown to me and at first I was worried that Taco make have gotten out but then saw a message from Jim saying he had come and got the boy.

I went to Smith’s and bought a lot of Sprite for the refrigerator downstairs and finally found some poppy seeds because I want to make some lemon pound cakes. I cooked up some pinto beans this evening and watched a few episodes of the Borgias. Nothing else was on that caught my attention.

So, there’s no difference between Democrats and Republicans? The House of Representatives voted 228-164 to decriminalize marijuana at the federal level. All but 6 Democrats voted YES and All but 5 Republicans voted NO.

As of today, Utah had killed off 937 people mostly seniors so far this year with a third of them from the past 30 days” but by golly no one is going to mask up and take away their liberties in Utah County” Happy Holidays “

6 December 2020 Sunday

I actually slept in until 6 this morning which is highly unusual for me anymore. I really didn’t have any reason to but I guess I needed my sleep.

When life gives you lemons you make 7 mini loaves of poppy seed lemon pound cake and blueberry lemon pound cakes. They smell lemony. I must be bored.

            Later in the afternoon I drove up to The Bountiful Lowes to look at paint chips. I kind of want a butterscotch color but the chips don’t always match the actual color of paint. Since I was up in Bountiful I went to Culvers and ordered some onion rings. I really enjoy theirs.

Kyle Foote called me at 5 this afternoon saying Danny Montoya and his flight had landed so I went out to the new airport to pick them up. It’s the first time I’ve been to the new arrival pick up site at the new airport. They were hungry so they ordered a pick up dinner from Chubby’s. We went there first before coming back to the house. They bought me an order of 3 taquitos.

We visited a little and I guess they had a nice time being around Danny’s folks.

            After they went downstairs I watched some Mae West films on the Criterion Channel. She is a Gay Icon for sure. I went to bed around 10 after falling asleep in the lazy boy.

My cousin Chris Johnson sent a picture of how he has to dress for work as a nurse with full personal protection gear and yet bastards in Utah complain about having to wear a cloth mask to the grocery store. Heard Rudy Giuliani has been infected with the Corona Virus. Maybe it will shut him up for 14 days.

Doug Murri sent me this “All it takes is a simple mask requirement from your Governor. And for the state to enforce it. Here in Nevada, before masks were mandated, less than half the people I'd see at the grocery store were wearing masks. But, since Nevada has had a mask mandate that is enforced, everyone is wearing a mask or told to leave the store. A few weeks ago, I just wasn't thinking and began to go into my Smith's grocery store without a mask. I was stopped at the door. I was grateful that they were taking it so seriously. My doctor told me that she and her husband had gone up to Utah a few weekends ago with the intent of spending the day at Zion then spending the night in St. George before driving home to Vegas the next day. She said that seeing so many mask less people in St. George frightened her and she told her husband to just drive home. She didn't feel safe being in the state of Utah. What's it going to take, Utah?”

7 December 2020 Monday

I must be out of my mind but I contacted Alan Anderson this morning and said I’d take care of Corky and Bhanni while they are gone for Christmas vacation. I know it will be a gift for them and what else do I have going on?

            Buster sat in my lap while I typed at the computer this morning. It was the first time the old boy wanted up into my lap.

            I kept expecting Kyle Foote and his workers to come over but no one did. When Danny Montoya and Kyle finally came home, they came upstairs and we visited a little. Evidently one of the guys, which were going to come to the house, decided to stay with his old job so it will now probably be in January before anything is done in the bathroom. I guess that is just as well. I am in no hurry.

            I watched some more of the Mae West collection on the Criterion Channel. I watched the Belle of the Nineties before heading for bed.

2,403 Americans were killed on this day in 1941 "a day that will live in infamy" On Trump's watch 285,564 Americans have died this year with last Thursday 2,900 Americans having died. Trump presidency will live in infamy.

8 December 2020 Tuesday

Kyle Foote and Danny Montoya stayed downstairs for most of the day and I only saw them once when they were driving off, probably to get some lunch. I didn’t cook anything today but ate some left over corn chowder soup and later some fajitas for supper.

Alan Anderson informed me that their vacation plans are canceled so I won’t be taking in Corky and Bhanni after all. That is kind of a relief. Actually, this is no time to really be traveling anywhere.  Twenty-four more people died today in Utah. Supposedly the Virus is now the number 1 cause of death in America.

9 December 2020 Wednesday

I made some chili and beans this morning but it really wasn’t my best or I just wasn’t really in the mood for it.

However, life is good right now with healthy pups, a warm house, running water, lights, food in the house and clean clothes to wear, although I miss the company of my friends but I want to be able to see them all in the New Year.

            Thank goodness I can lose myself in the naughty escapades of 2^nd South from 100 years ago. I almost feel like the phantoms want me to tell their stories no matter what.

When Kyle Foote and Danny Montoya came home, Kyle asked if I wanted to go with them to get some soup at Zupa’s down town but I declined only because I wasn’t all that hungry and I had soup at the house. Besides with so many people testing positive here in Utah, 1 in 4 people, not wearing masks, and dying, I thought it is wiser not to be eating out right now.

Well Utah has 995 dead from covid19 and young people are dancing mask less in music venues in Provo with no one putting a stop to it while health professionals are pleading to stop and crying from exhaustion. Oh well it’s just mainly old people who don’t dance anyway” and the band played on.

Our bastard Attorney General signed on to Texas’ attempt to overthrow the election in 4 swing states.

10 December 2020 Thursday

Happy Hanukkah, Hannukah, Chanukah, or however the fuck you spelling it. Happy Festival of Lights!

I didn’t even get dressed for much of the day but just stayed in my caftan until I put on the sweats I wore yesterday to take the trash bin out to the curb and take Coco home. Each day is about the same as any other.

My nephew James Clark called me this afternoon to check in on me. That was thoughtful of him. He said that he’s doing fine, still working and I said I hoped he had a nice birthday. Like me he said after 40 birthdays don’t mean that much. We told each other we loved each other. I know I am his only real uncle he has and now that his mom is gone he’s knows I am getting up there too.

I made some bacon and potato soup today and brought some over to Mike Romero’s. It’s getting darker at 5 in the evening now at least twilight but the sunset was pretty with the sky lit up in pinks and oranges. It’s much colder now also and we have an inversion but not a terrible foggy/smoggy one we often get in December.

Kyle Foote had a letter from Corrections probably informing him of his new status but he didn’t share it with me. When he came home with Danny Montoya, Kyle brought me some eggrolls that he bought at China Delight where they bought their dinner. After that didn’t see them for the rest of the evening.

I watched the old Christmas film Miracle on 34^th Street and The Diary of a Mad Black Woman. I know it’s hokey but I like movies with Tyler Perry’s Madea in them.

Trump’s Democratic Hoax has killed over 1016 Utahns now while our Attorney General is promoting sedition and having lunch with the Beast. Trump golfs while America crumbles. At least the Pfizer Vaccine was approved today.

COX and Herbert issued this statement about Sean Reyes seditious act . "The Attorney General did not consult us before signing on to this brief, so we don’t know what his motivation is. Just as we would not want other states challenging Utah’s election results, we do not think we should intervene in other states’ elections. Candidates who wish to challenge election results have access to the courts without our involvement. This is an unwise use of taxpayers’ money.”

Seditious Sean should be investigated and forced to resign

11 December 2020 Friday

I made two vegetarian quiches this morning with  zucchini, yellow squash, mushrooms, parsley, parmesan, Swiss and cheddar cheeses, cooked in a sour cream, eggs and half and half mixture with a dash of nutmeg and paprika. I made  one that has  lots of red onions and  one without onions any for Kyle Foote. I am not sure why I made them as I am not really hungry and Kyle isn’t here for the weekend. Old habits I suppose that you bake on cold wintry days. There is supposed to be a lot of snow tomorrow. I still have bacon and cream of potato soup to eat up and I finished the fajitas for my supper. I brought one of the quiches over to Mike Romero when I took Coco home.

            Kyle called me about 3:30 and asked for me to take Danny Montoya to the airport so they could fly to Las Vegas. It kind of ticked me off because he hadn’t said anything to me earlier and I had to adjust the seats in the FIT by taking out the doggy bedding. More than anything I was just disappointed that he was leaving again and not letting me know.

            On the way over to the airport I had Kyle drive while I sat in the backseat so Danny could sit next to him and Kyle knew I was upset by my being so quiet. I was mainly upset that Kyle doesn’t communicate with me although he tried to draw me out asking me how was my day and such.

            Once at the airport I finally learned of their rush to Las Vegas. I guess Danny’s niece’s health is failing and the family wanted everyone to see her in case she passes from her leukemia. At that point I kind of felt like a jerk but hugged them both goodbye and told Kyle to take care of Danny.

            If Kyle would just let me into his world more and share with me, I probably wouldn’t feel so neglected. I will pick them or at least Kyle up this Sunday.

Finally, some good news the Supreme Court in a decision 7 to 2 rejected Texas’ Attorney General’s request to throw out the elections in 4 key states that went for Biden over Trump. Utah’s AG Sean Reyes is an idiot” so says the Supreme Court. This was the last hurrah for the Trumpists to overthrow the results of the 2020 election.  

12 December 2020 Saturday

There was not as much snow here as forecasted but will take what moisture we can get. The stormed scrubbed the air so it was a pretty day but I ain't going anywhere. Jim Dabakis brought Taco Belle over as that he’s heading to Mexico tomorrow for about a month. He said he was feeling back to normal. He’s raising hell by accusing that Republican elite of Utah of trying to be first in line to get the Covid19 vaccine. “But "entitled Utah" doesn't want a lot of publicity. Many of them want this quiet, not because they are ashamed to cut in line but rather, they don't want their political base to know they are taking the shots!”

There's no joy in Trump Land. His collaborators held protest rallies in Washington DC and even here in Utah.

13 December 2020 Sunday

Not too much to write about. I made some Chili Verde today and baked some Chocolate Chip-Oatmeal cookies and that was about all I did. My sister Donna Jones called and we visited for about a half an hour even though we didn’t have a lot of news to tell. She said my nephew Kevin Jones finally got his driver’s license at the age of 41. At least she doesn’t have to drive him around anymore. He still needs to get a job but probably won’t look until Spring when the Covid19 epidemic is more manageable.

            Kyle Foote called me at 5 this afternoon saying they had gotten in from Las Vegas so I went to the airport to pick them up. I guess that is one advantage of living so close to the airport. It was completely dark out by the time we came back to the house.

            I guess Danny Montoya said that his family had an early Christmas for his niece so the family could spend it with her in case she passes before the 25^th. At the house I fed Danny the rest of the quiche and fixed Kyle a bowl of chili Verde and some flour tortillas. I could tell that Kyle was exhausted so they went downstairs after eating and I watched some of the Disney Channel before heading to bed myself.

            I’d like to go for a drive to see the Christmas lights but it’s not as fun going by one’s self.

            Seventeen more deaths from Covid19 today making the total for Utah 1055 now. This past week has been the deadliest since the epidemic hit Utah last March.

14 December 2020 Monday

Light snow fell overnight and this morning, not nearly as much as they said it would, maybe an inch. I made a Crockpot of roasted butternut soup today and I had a smothered Chili Verde burrito for my supper.

When I took Coco home I gave Mike Romero a pint of Chili Verde and some of the cookies I made yesterday. I got back from him a lot of the pint jars so I was able to ladle up the Butternut soup.  

Well, I shoveled snow from my driveway and 100 feet of sidewalk and I am still alive to tell the tale. I deserve a bowl of homemade butternut soup after that don’t you think?

When Kyle Foote and Danny Montoya came home, Kyle wanted to show me some of the renderings for the kitchen remodel. It’s really going to be nice but at my age I wonder how much I will get to use it. Over the nearly 25 years I’ve lived here in this house I cooked thousands of meals in this old kitchen and I still have the gas stove that came with the house and the microwave Mom and Dad gave Mike and me back in 1996.

I made a smothered Chili Verde burrito with melted cheese for Kyle for his supper but Danny said he wasn’t all that hungry but did take some chips down to their Casita for the evening.

Twiddle Dum William “Patsy” Barr is leaving the White House before Christmas. Probably resigned before being fired. I listened to President Biden give a speech after all the electors voted today. A great speech but felt sorry that he must have been coming down with a cold or something as he had to clear his throat several times but to me it was an amazing speech and he lambasted finally Trump and some Republicans for trying to overthrow democracy by voiding the votes of millions of Americans.

15 December 2020 Tuesday

I don’t know what was going on downstairs last night but it seemed all night long the garage door was being opened and closed which kept waking me. I finally got up at 2 in the morning and typed and researched until 5.

            I went grocery shopping at Smith’s in Glendale neighborhood, I think more to get out of the house than anything else. I bought a lot of items, mostly for the pups and for cooking and baking.

This afternoon Kyle Foote asked if he could borrow $1800 until Friday. He said he just paid $30,000 in payroll today and need to buy concrete for a project for tomorrow and he was short until he get paid Friday. I had the money so I transferred the money into his account 38968384.

            When he came home we visited some about projects he has going on at work and then we hugged before he went downstairs. Never did see Danny Montoya.

I fed the pups chicken breasts and gizzards but they only ate the gizzards and did touch the breast meat. Spoiled critters” so they can just go hungry.  

16 December 2020 Wednesday

Again, the garage door was opening and closing for much of the night. I have no idea what is up with them unless they had some tricks over. All I know is that they both came home at 2 this afternoon and I haven’t seen them at all. Perhaps they need to sleep after their all nigh shenanigans.

Bill Poore wanted to come over to see the pups today so I cleaned the house really well and mopped all the floors that needed it. It’s hard keeping up the house when it’s just me and the pups, only caring how dirty it gets and the pups don’t seem to care at all.

Bill came over at noon and we had a nice lunch visiting this afternoon but mostly about how old we are getting. The death of a friend of his he had known since he was a kid in Carbon County, his own age died last week of the Covid19 virus and I think that has gotten him thinking about his own final days. I know he hates all the changes I am having done to the house, mostly because he thinks Kyle is taking advantage of me and that he’s doing it for himself. I said what does it matter anyway? Actually, having the house remodeled after 25 years gives me something to think about and not just stagnating which I believe poor Bill is doing in his studio apartment where he just lies in bed all day and looks at his lap top.

I made a chicken pot pie for our lunch and served him butternut squash soup along with it. He brought treats for the pups which they love. After about an hour and a half I sent him home with leftovers and some zucchini bread.

I went to Lucky’s market after Bill had left to buy some boneless chicken thighs they had on sale for 98 cents a pound since they don’t like chicken breasts at all. When I took Coco home I brought Mike Romero the last of my Chili Verde and some cutie oranges that I had bought at Lucky’s.

I listened to Christmas music for much of the day and didn’t watch any television. Another 17 people died in Utah today from the plague. We are now just shy of 1100 people.

The American Terrorists who will not accept Trump’s lost are protesting in cities and some are calling for martial law to overturn the election. I am not as worried about young Muslim males becoming radicalized as much as I am frightened that young American males are becoming radicalized and have access to assault weapons

Those 126 Republican Representative should at very least be censured by Congress for trying to undermined confidence in Democracy in a very divided country”

17 December 2020 Thursday

It was kind of a wet cold day and too warm to actually snow. Bill Poore asked if he could come over Christmas Eve and spend the night for Christmas Day and I said sure. I have the spare bedroom now. Mike Romero said he’d come to the house pick up Coco and when he did I feed the rest of the chicken casserole I had made that I didn’t want. I asked him if he wanted to come over for Christmas also so I guess I will make a Christmas Ham dinner.

            Kyle Foote and Danny Montoya popped up just long enough to say that Danny will be gone for the next couples of days so Kyle took him to the airport and that is the last I saw of them.

            In the news 30 more people died of Covid19 today and the state legislature is punishing the Salt Lake School District for teaching all their kids on line instead of in the class room by withholding a $1500 bonus.

Today is Jim Dabakis birthday. I think he is 65 now.

18 December 2020 Friday

I made beef and cabbage soup for my supper. Dad used to make it when I was a kid. I didn’t like it then but love it now. I put in lots of carrots, potatoes, green bell peppers, and beans too. The house smells so homey also. When Kyle Foote came home he came up and took a bowl of it downstairs. He said it was delicious.

            He also bought some de-icer for when the snow and ice comes again. It was the pet friendly kind that won’t hurt the pups feet.

            Jim Dabakis called from Mexico. I think he was missing Taco as that one of the hounds he had for 18 years down in Mexico died of old age down there. He was probably just waiting for Jim to return before passing away.

I watched the last episode of Mandalorian where the child is turned over to Luke Skywalker and R2D2.

I know that Democrats are not perfect but compared to the GOP, I know what side of history I want to be on.  Democrats might be slow getting there but they are steady while Republicans always look back to a fantasy time hence "Make America Great Again" is so appealing. On the other hand, Democrats always, always look forward to what America can be and should be.  The future is scary for Conservatives, for progressives it's exciting.

I know it's kind of mean spirited but as ICU are filling up to the max across the nation I wish there was a way to deny those who voted for Trump or any Republican access to hospitalization for Covid19. They voted for those immoral creatures who have done nothing in the past 4 years in Congress but try to dismantle ACA health care and abetted the spread of the Trump Plague. They are reaping what they sowed.  The death panels Republicans screamed about during the debate over the ACA are soon to become a reality due to the GOP's malfeasance and malignant political hatred of governance.  Utah is a prime example. 30 people died yesterday in one day because hateful Utahns would rather have people die than wear a mask.

19 December 2020 Saturday

I had a marathon of binge watching the first season of Mom on Hulu. I had watched it a few years ago but interesting to see how the characters evolved and the story line changed from it being centered around the character of Christy Plunkett’s relationship to her children and her dysfunctional mother to now that actress Anna Farris who played Christy Plunkett left the show it is like a brand new show about the mother Bonnie Plunkett’s relationship with her husband and her addiction recovering friends.

            I made a poppy seed Bundt cake tonight I want to bring over to TJ Otaka and Jim McMullin’s as a holiday gift.

Kyle Foote was holed up in the Casita almost all day except in the late afternoon he asked if I wanted to go with him to get a Dr. Pepper fountain drink and something to eat. So that was about the only time I went out of the house today. I know Kyle enjoys his time being alone without the constant presence of Danny Montoya and demands made of him from work. So, I can’t begrudge him his alone time. 

20 December 2020 Sunday

I called Jim McMullin this morning and asked if they were going to be home so I could come out for a visit. The real reason I wanted to go see them was to bring them the Lemon Poppy Bundt cake I made for them.

On the way out I got stuck in some horrible road construction on Bangerter Highway between 40th South and 72nd South that took more than 20 minutes at a crawl to go about a mile! I had no idea what was going on until it was too late and trapped, and there was no off ramp to get out of it. I hate being stuck in traffic it gives me a sense of claustrophobia.

Anyway, even with all that I was only about 10 minutes later to Daybreak than I had said I’d be, and I had a very nice Yule Tide visit with Jim McMullin and T.J. Otaka.  They fixed a brunch of waffles, scrambled eggs, and sausage. We discussed how the isolation from being cooped up was affecting our mental health but that we were children of the people who lived through World War II and they had their hard times too.

 T.J. evidently keeps up with people I know on Face Book more than I do. He said that Matt Wilson had the Covid19 which sent him to the hospital to be treated with a ventilator but recovered and was sent home. Mark Angus also tested positive for the virus.

I stayed for about two hours and wished them a Merry Christmas. They also gave me some lovely flowers and a goody bag of treats for me and the pups. They gave me some incense which I love the smell of. It’s the old hippie in me.

            I didn’t see Kyle Foote but once during the day but about 6 he came up to get a pint jar of beef and cabbage soup to take back downstairs. I only saw him once more because of a really peculiar incident tonight.

After I went to bed near 9 and was about to fall asleep, I heard the front door bell ringing. I really don’t like answering the front door at night because no one I know would be coming over but I did it anyway.

There were two young guys at the door causing the pups to go crazy so I could hardly hear what they wanted. They said something about working at McDonalds and whether I owned the Build Team vehicle out front. I was rather sleepy and incoherent and kind of curt with them coming to the house so late so but directed them to go down stairs and ask Kyle about whatever they needed to know.

            About 10 minutes later, after I could tell they left, Kyle came upstairs to tell me what was going on. I could tell he was kind of shook up. Evidently he left to go get a McFlurry at McDonalds because he had been on the phone with Danny Montoya and they were going to go get one each, like if together. Anyway, Kyle noticed that a car had followed him from here all the way to McDonalds, which just sat there with a woman inside. That kind of freaked him out and I guess he was still rather paranoid.

He was so agitated by the thought he was being followed that he got out of the car and took a picture on the license plate and the woman he assumed had been following him.

            Well as it turned out the woman was actually there to pick up her son from work and was just there waiting for him and she was freaked out that a strange man took her picture and told her son about it. They must live in the neighborhood because they recognized the Build Team vehicle and that is why they came to the house to find out why his mother was being harassed. I guess they were afraid Kyle was some kind of law officer. Well, I guess everyone was satisfied with the coincidence and misunderstanding.

            I told Kyle that I am hesitant to answer the door at night because Mom and Dad had been kidnapped while living in Palmdale in the middle of the night and forced to go to an ATM machine but fortunately they was spotted by a patrol car that thought it looked suspicious that these old people were driving so slow without their lights on. When the cops pulled them over the Mexican kids bailed out but was caught later.

 Also, when Mike Romero and I first moved in here, some woman was pounding on our front door asking for help saying that she was being followed and asked if she could come in and use the phone. I had heard of set ups where a man then breaks in afterwards to rob you. This was back when we had no neighbors out here and I was suspicious why anyone, especially a woman, would be out walking around in this area so late at night. We had her stay on the porch where we could see her and called the police for her who eventually came and dealt with it.

            So, after that excitement, and giving Kyle a warm embracing hug, because I know from the sound of the quiver in his voice this was more upsetting than he let on, I tried to go back to bed.

            So ended the last day of Fall and Samhain 2020. Some of Trump’s allies like Mike Flynn is suggesting that Trump declare martial law in an attempt to overturn the election. Putin must laughing his ass off.

21 December 2020 Monday

I was up much of the night 4 or 5 times having to pee. That was unusual as I hadn’t had any more liquids than usual. I finally got up at 5 after having a series of vivid dreams and fixed me some coffee and a couple of waffles. I went outside to see the alignment of Jupiter and Saturn but it was too cloudy out  so I could not see a thing but this evening the sky was clear and I looked at the Southwestern sky and saw the two planets near each other.  It was kind of cool knowing that 800 years ago people looked up and saw the same thing. It was not as bright as I expected. I think I’ve seen Venus brighter but still it’s something one only sees once in a life time.

            I made a Chocolate chip Bundt cake with a crown of crushed walnuts on it for my Mexican neighbors who have lots of kids still at home. Coincidently they came from Garden Grove off of Magnolia and Trask just about 2 miles from where I grew up on Dale Street and Orangewood. The kids and dad all speak English but mom only speaks Spanish so we just wave and nod” Feliz Navidad “

I guess I will make one for Victor the cute Mexican who moved in behind me as well as the Mormon kids across the street who are expecting any time their second kid “they have always been friendly to this old queer.

I made some cream of mushroom soup this afternoon. I only tasted it but didn’t have any. I just made 3 pints of it for later.

Kyle Foote left this morning even before Mike Romero dropped Coco off. When he came home at 6:30 this evening he said he had a safety meeting with his staff. I asked did you give everyone a condom? It wasn’t that kind of safety meeting he answered. LOL  Anyway we visited some about projects he’s working on and he said something rather sweet to me. He said that he learned something from many of his mistakes from last year and I asked him like what? He said like how Christmas Eve is really special to someone he cares about. He said, “I want to be home with him this year instead of going to a movie like last year.”  That meant a lot to me because he remembered how hurt I was spending Christmas Eve all alone in 2019.

Congress finally passed a relief bill. Fucking Republicans act like it’s their money not ours. Oh well we can only hope that Georgia will elected the Democrats to the Senate to turn this country around.

Trump still won’t acknowledge that Russia is doing a major hacking of American institutions.

Today is the Winter Solstice and the beginning of Yule. The light is now returning.

22 December 2020 Tuesday

My sciatica flared up on my left hip radiating down to my foot which was misery today. I can only think I caused it from sitting so long on the computer each day doing research and writing. I have to really force myself to take breaks. I went to Smith’s to get some more cake mixes and pudding and dog treats but I only made one chocolate chip walnut Bundt cake today for Kyle Foote’s Build Team’s office treat.

            Danny Montoya was back in town. I only saw him as he was looking for the Bundt cake to take to the office or I wouldn’t have even known he was here. I asked him how long he’d be here but he said he didn’t know. I never did see Kyle.

            It was a cold damp blustery day compared to yesterday” at least 15 to 20 degrees cooler. I didn’t even use the hot tub although I think it might have felt good on my hip.

Funny that when you get older, you can feel fine one day and the next bam! You’re are in pain. Well, there’s far worse off people than I am. So many people in this country are going hungry, can’t pay rent, isolated and alone. It’s a bleak Christmas Season for sure and President Elect Biden said the dark days with this virus is ahead of us not behind us.

The news said 80 million Americans will be traveling this Christmas, despite the CDC warnings so there will be another spike in a couple of weeks in January and hospitals are already maxxed out.

Chris Johnson, my late cousin John’s son, he and his wife are nurses in Memphis, Tennessee. He said that his wife Dana received the Pfizer vaccine but he’s waiting until the end of the month for the Moderna vaccine.

            The United Kingdom is virtually on lockdown as the virus has mutated there making it more infectious.  The death rate in the United States is three times higher than anywhere else in the world. Here in Utah there’s been 1,173 total deaths, as that 12 more deaths occurred today.  Sure to be 1200 by Christmas but people travel and shop like there’s no tomorrow and for many there won’t be.

            Utah Senator Mike Lee and Rep. Stewart and Curtis all voted against the Covid19 relief bill more worried about the deficit than people going hungry.  How I hate Republicans. 

23 December 2020 Wednesday

I have a bit of sciatica in my left hip that runs down my leg to my foot. It kept me up most of the night until I took some Tylenol. It just started yesterday and its causing me a bit of misery especially last night” oh well when you get old, one day you are feeling fine” the next day you are chugging Tylenol. At my age you just muddle through the aches and get on with things.

I got my baking a Pecan Pie out of the way this morning for Christmas Eve dinner tomorrow. The filling overflowed a bit because I used a smaller pie plate since there are going to be few of us. It’s not Christmas without mom’s pecan pie. My cousin Stephanie Williams wrote the same sentiment, saying “Aunt June made the best Pecan Pie, always had to have a piece when we came over during the holidays. Fond memories indeed.”

            I prepped the funeral potatoes to bake tomorrow and when Kyle Foote and Danny Montoya came home, Kyle asked what kind of corn flakes I was using for the topping because he said Kellogg’s was the best. I just had a generic kind so I had him pick me up a box of corn flakes as that Danny and he were going out Christmas Shopping for Danny’s family. I commented “typical straight men behavior shopping right before Christmas.”

I made a Chocolate Bundt cake for my neighbors Pete and Brittany Nash who live where Norma and Lynn Chaffin used to live across the street on Dale Ridge. Kyle said the people at work loved the Bundt Cake I made for his Build Team office.

I’ve been binge watching the series Mom again. Allison Janney is so good in it and actually I’ve finished most of the other shows. I started watching Steven King’s the Stand but not sure if I want to watch a show on a deadly plague.  Twenty-one people died today in Utah making our death toll 1,196.

24 December 2020 Thursday

I was up early to get a start on mopping and cleaning the house for company today. It was such a nice clear blue skies day and not too cold out so I decided to clean up some of the outside. My cousin Terrie Williams suggested I do some yard work to help with my sciatica so I spent an hour and a half raking leaves and cleaning the curb gutters. I swept out the front of the sidewalk in front of Kyle’s door downstairs also .

It was so nice outside” so there’s no white Christmas this year. I got my Christmas treats out to my neighbors this morning and some of prepping done for Christmas Eve dinner. I took Victor who lives behind me just a mini loaf of Banana nut bread because I thought a full Bundt cake would have been too much.  I also brought Brittany and Peter Nash a full chocolate Bundt Cake. Then I found a nice thank you card from Peter. You  never know where  small kindnesses will lead.

He wrote, “Ben, Your kindness is so incredibly well times. Brittany & I welcomed our daughter into the world Oct 30. She is fantastic but life is hectic & busy, especially with a nearly 3 year old boy! We just haven’t been able to do all the things we have wanted to this year. Your cake takes some of the pressure off of us by providing a Christmas dessert that we can all enjoy. I’m sure for you it was “nothing” but for me it means everything. And the boy can’t wait to dig in & take a bite! We don’t have a gift to give you this year but please know that we love you and are glad to have you as our neighbor.” Happy Christmas & a Merry New Year- Peter, Brittany, Petey & Olivia Nash.”

Kimberlee Gile wrote me “You are truly the best neighbor, a wonderful friend and family ya choose. Merry Christmas, my sweet Ben! Love you!!!” and my cousin Terrie Williams wrote, “It's awesome to have kind hearted neighbors. It helps to share the love. You and I are from the era of make love not war. This has always made more sense to me. Thanks for sharing their excitement”. I can just feel that kids desire to have a taste. Merry Christmas.”

Bill Poore came over at 5 this afternoon to have dinner and to spend the night in my guest room. Kyle Foote and Danny Montoya came home about that time Bill came here and helped him carry his overnight bag and Christmas gifts up the stairs.

He brought treats for the pups and gave me a card with $200 in it. Wow! Too much but I thought he wanted it for me so I didn’t say anything but thank you.

Dinner was at 6 and Mike Romero joined us and brought Coco. We had a very merry Christmas Eve dinner. I baked a glazed ham and made funeral potatoes, candied yams, green beans, fried okra, and bread rolls as well as the Pecan Pie.

Danny left right after dinner and flew out to Las Vegas this evening. Kyle is leaving in the morning and will be gone until Sunday night. Bill went to bed about 8 and Mike left about 8:30.  Kyle and I however stayed up to watch “Scrooge” as he had never seen it. That was my Christmas gift having Kyle beside me. So, it was nice get together unlike last year when I spent Christmas Eve alone.

 I  just had a small group here this year but was it very special for me. Christmas Eve has always been more special to me then Christmas Day. I think because my Grandma Williams insisted that all the aunts and uncles and grandkids come to her house on Christmas Eve and that is when we opened a lot of our presents from each other.  There were plenty of pies, homemade candy, and Grandpa's West Texas Chili.  The men were all in one room playing dominoes and the women in the kitchen laughing. I was always in the kitchen listening to the women's stories.

Today is my maiden Aunt Minnie's birthday. “Maiden Aunt” is an old fashion word for not being married. Better that than Spinster for sure. I used to always feel sorry for Aunt Minnie with her birthday being so close to Christmas like she was being cheated out of her special day. But as I grew older, I realized how lucky she was to have all her kinfolk gathered together on that day.

I think Christmas Eve was also special to my Grandma because Aunt Minnie was a premature Christmas baby. She was so tiny she could fit in a shoe box and my Aunt Beulah, grandma's sister in law said that Aunt Minnie hardly reached from head to toe the size of a dinner plate.

Then early on Christmas morning 1929, the Muleshoe Hotel where the family was rooming, caught fire. Grandma was so weak from having Aunt Minnie that the men had to carry her down stairs with Minnie in her arms on a folded mattress as the hotel burned down.

I like to think that no matter how our Christmases sometimes aren't always like we planned, we have each other, and our memories” that last longer than anything found under the Christmas tree.

25 December 2020 Friday Christmas

I was up early around 4:30 when I heard Bill Poore stirring. He had gone to bed so early last night. He was playing with the pups in the front room. I had placed his car keys on the kitchen table so he’d not misplace them when fooling with the key bob he accidently set off his car’s alarm! Oh crap! So here on Christmas morning the car is blaring and he can’t hear when it is off, so I take it from him and shut it down. Merry Christmas.

            I then fixed Bill and me breakfast of ham, eggs and hash browns and visited a little until I took Kyle to the airport to fly down to Las Vegas to spend the weekend with Danny Montoya and his family. I’ll pick him up Sunday night.

            I spent most of Christmas 2020 hanging out with Bill but we really didn’t do much. I did several loads of laundry for him so he has some clean clothes now. I know that was a Christmas gift for him as it’s a chore for him to do it with his health issues. I used both the upstairs and downstairs washers and dryers. Downstairs was unlocked  because Kyle also had me put his clothes in the dryer when he left so actually that really helped out doing Bill’s wash.

            I called several people today to wish them a Merry Christmas. I first called Chuck Whyte who said that Pepper Presentte had invited him over for Christmas dinner. He said a couple of months ago he ended up in the hospital with liver failure from a combination of all the medicine he had been on but they straightened it out and he said he feels pretty good now. He sounded more lucid then he had in a while.

            I called my sister Donna Jones. She said she and Kevin were having a quiet Christmas. She also said that her son Ken Jones’ in laws in Lake Elsinore both came down with Covid19 but didn’t have to be hospitalized. A news report said that 30 percent of the virus related deaths were concentrated in Los Angeles County and both L.A. and Orange County’s hospitals are maxxed out and yet ant-masks idiots are still holding protests down there.

            I also called Alan Anderson and Jim McMullin. I was surprised to hear Alan had gone to Idaho to spend Christmas with Kyle Daniels folks. I thought they weren’t going anywhere. I’m just happy I didn’t have to doggy-sit.

Yesterday was Jim and T.J. Otaka’s 29^th anniversary of being together and some friends of theirs from New Jersey surprised them by sending them a chocolate mousse cake by U.P.S. for it.  Both Alan and Jim were watching football. Can you imagine?

            So really didn’t do much else here but listen to Bill reminisce because it was too hard having a conversation with him because his hearing aids aren’t working and he’s nearly stone deaf.  

When I brought his laundry out to his van, I also cleaned the trash in it for him. I found a picture of him and Harvey Fierstein together that was buried under trash. I took it inside and told Bill I would scan it for him to save it. The picture was taken at a party thrown after Torch Song Trilogy and Harvey Fierstein won their Tonys.

            Really didn’t fix any supper. I fed Bill some Beef Stew I made yesterday but I just nibbled on some left over ham and some snacks. I had asked him if he wanted to go look at Christmas lights this evening but he didn’t so we just stayed home.  I finished watching the 3^rd season of MOM and went to bed around 10 at night. Bill had already gone to his room.

            So, this was Christmas 2020. Just one more week until this strange year is over.

26 December 2020 Saturday

I was up at 5 this morning but Bill Poore slept in until nearly 7. While sitting in the lazy boy, looking out the bay window, I saw that the sunrise over the Wasatch Mountains was a deep blazing orange. It was so beautiful I just gazed at it for much of the morning until the sun came up.

Bill left at 10:30 this morning to go back home after spending Christmas Eve and day, here at the House of the Barking Dogs. He mainly just relaxed and reminisced while I made pancakes and bacon for breakfast. Bill is kind of high maintenance because he is basically stone deaf and I have to shout to talk to him and I am not sure how much he actually hears.

            I sent him home with several loads of clean laundry, and ham, potatoes, beef stew left overs as well as a mini loaf of banana nut bread. I bet they will sit in his van until he can get help bringing them inside as he can barely walk without being out of breath.

After he left, I went grocery shopping at the Glendale Smith’s and bought stuff for the pups as well as a furnace filter and lima beans. I also drove down to 12^th South and 5^th East to see for myself the homeless encampment by the railroad tracks. It’s so pathetic that we are the richest nation in the world and people live like this.

In the afternoon, I de-Christmased the house.  When Christmas is over” it’s over for me. I learned that from Mom. No more Xmas music either. I may leave the lights up outside until New Years but then they are done. I am the same way about Halloween. On Nov 1st it’s all put away.

I also cooked a pot of Lima bean soup this afternoon, made with the left over Christmas  ham . It tasted good on a day like today.

In the evening the pups said they wanted to go look at Christmas lights so we drove around West Pointe Rose Park, Fair Park and Poplar Grove. There were lots of homes lit up this year. It was really pretty.

Christmas night 2003 the power went off as a huge snow storm hit Salt Lake City “the foreign owners of the power company to save money hadn't been trimming branches which broke under the weight of the storm “the entire city was without power. We woke to a dark cold house “as soon as it was light I bundled up and started to dig out the 18 inches of snow on the porch and driveway”. Then Michael Romero came out and said my mom was on the phone and I needed to come talk immediately.

 That is how I learned my father had died that morning in California “however the airport was shut down and roads closed” I sat for two days without power thinking I needed to be home for my mom but couldn't. Finally on the 3rd day my neighbor Kimberlee Gile  who worked for Jet Blue got me out of SLC. Because of the holidays we had to wait to bury dad 2 January 2004

 It all seems like a dream not. No illness, no accident,  Dad just went out to get his morning paper, came back into the house and was dead before he hit the floor. My mother discovered her husband of 58 years on the kitchen floor “except for the shock it was a blessing he went that way “on Christmas Day he spoke to all his brothers one last time.

My personal grief over shadowed the news of the in 2004 Tsunami that left 250,000 dead in South East Asia “one of the worse disasters in history”

Over 325,000 Americans are dead this year from the Covid19, 1200 of them here in Utah.

27 December 2020 Sunday

I didn’t do a thing today except research 19^th Century Blacks in Utah and watch some more episodes of Mom.  I did put away a lot of the Christmas decorations from inside and out as that it was in the 40’s today.

I was kicked off Face Book again for violating “community standards” for calling this Trump supporter evil and stupid. I suppose that wasn’t very nice of me. So, I am in Face Book Jail for 3 days. I probably needed to give it a rest anyway.

            I went and picked up Kyle Foote from the airport at 9:45 tonight. The place was super busy I guess with everyone coming home from Christmas. Seeing how many people were at the airport I know there’s going to be another Covid19 spike in a couple of weeks. I guess Kyle had a nice visiting with Danny Montoya’s family.

            Trump finally signed the Covid19 relief bill and I guess they identified the man who set of the car bomb in downtown Nashville. Trump has not said a word about it. He’s too busy golfing.

28 December 2020 Monday

Another do nothing or very little day. In the late afternoon the chicken thighs I thought has thawed hadn’t so I went to Lucky’s to buy a roasted chicken for their dinner. It was the high light of my day. It was a damp and over cast day anyway. When Kyle Foote came home this evening he came up and visited a bit and to get something to eat. He heated up a bowl of lima bean soup to take down stairs. He mentioned how he’d like to get a dog like a labradoodle to take with him to work and have downstairs because they don’t shed. I don’t know how serious he is about it but one guess who will be taking care of it when he’s off someplace with Danny Montoya. Speaking of which, Kyle said that he will be spending New Year’s Eve in Las Vegas. He also said that 3 of his men on his work crew are off because they caught the Corona Virus

            While I was watching episodes of MOM, I had a call from Jim Dabakis from Mexico. I think he is missing the pup and also he said that much of where he is at is on lockdown. He said that even the Costco there was only open for groceries and all other parts of the store was shut down. It never occurred to me that Mexico had Costco stores.  We visited a bit about each other’s Christmas and I told him about Bill Poore staying here for a couple of days.

29 December 2020 Tuesday

Not a whole lot to write about although I’ve tried to write everyday even when there is nothing truly to write about. There’s no place to go, nobody to see, and nothing to do but be grateful that at my age I have a home with a roof over my head, plenty of food in the house for me and the pups, and enough money in the bank to get by on. I am far more fortunate than millions of others. And most of all I have my health right now.

            The weather was chilly today but not downright freezing.

30 December 2020 Wednesday

Finally got out of Face Book Jail tonight so I can at least wish people a Happy New Year.  I made an appointment for Lulubelle to get groomed this Monday at 10:30 at the Dog Grooming School. She is really getting shaggy and today was the first time she ever needed a butt washing.

            I went to Smith’s this morning because I was all out of dishwasher detergent and while there I bought some cranberries to make a cherry 7 up cranberry bread recipe I saw on Face Book.  So, I made me three mini loaves of cranberry pecan bread and canned 3 small jars of cranberry sauce with the left over the cranberries. I gave Mike Romero one when I took Coco home and I gave one to Kyle Foote to take down to Danny Montoya.  Kyle is leaving tomorrow and I will have to take him to the airport early in the morning. When he came home from work, he added HBO to my Roku so now I can watch it as well as my other streaming apps. He asked for a hug and I gave him a deep one and held on to him. I have resigned myself to the role assigned to me.

            It appears that the more contagious form of the Covid19 Virus is now in the United States, California and Colorado. It’s probably already here in Utah. There was  21 new deaths today and 25% of all being tested are positive. There’s been 1256 covid19 related deaths here in Utah so far.

            Dawn Wells who played Mary Ann on Gilligan’s Isle died. She was 82 years old. It’s hard to process that the 1960’s are now going to be sixty years ago.  

31 December 2020 Thursday New Year Eve

I took Kyle Foote to the airport this morning at 8:45 so he could be with Danny Montoya for the weekend. After he left I took the house key to the casita that he left in the door to Smith’s and had a key made for me. It bothered me that I often had no access to the downstairs when it is still my house and I often felt like I was locked out even though the water shut off valve is in there.

            I watched television for most of the day and I only saw Mike Romero who I had come over to pick up Coco so I could feed him dinner. I made cheese enchiladas to go with the tamales I bought at Lucky’s.

            Alan Anderson called earlier in the day to visit because he was back home from Idaho. He told me that in November he had been in the hospital for 2 days but not from Covid19 but from blood clots again and they have him on blood thinners. He said that because he was having trouble breathing they had him in the respirator unit with Covid19 patients for 2 days. I guess he’s going to cut back work to 4 days a week rather than 5 because of the stress of everything. He also said he is getting wobbly on his feet also.

            Other than that, I guess everyone is doing as well as they can this last day of the year. This year 1,271 Utahns have died from the virus and in America there’s 20 million infected. If I believed in a God of retribution it is almost like America is being punished for electing Donald Trump and enabling the super-rich while grinding the faces of the poor.

            Well Kyle Foote has lived with me a full year now, and it’s been really difficult for me at times to deal with my conflicting emotions for him as he has been in a relation with Danny Montoya for a year. A year ago, I thought I was going to have a future with Brad Hart but by March that fizzled.  He was probably my last romance.  My sister Charline Wachs died in March and my other sister Donna Jones and I have somewhat reconnected. She is all I have left of my immediate family.