Winter First Quarter Journal 2019 January-March Trump's 3rd year

 

JOURNAL  2019

 

1 January 2019 Tuesday

Wahoo! it's a balmy 24 degrees in SLC up from 16 this New Year’s  morning.  The New Year beginning on a Tuesday kind of throws my rhythm off as that the first Wednesday history series is tomorrow. So I spent most of the day getting ready for it. Well, here’s my personal inventory. I am a 67 year old single Gay man living in all places Salt Lake City, Utah. I have lived at 1633 Fernleaf Street since October 1996 and unless my health fails I don’t expect to ever leave my home. While I am single I can’t say that I live alone as that I have six pooches that depend on my and a 7^th that I babysit throughout the week. They are small dog breeds, miniature schnauzers and Chihuahuas mostly although Lulubelle is a terrier mix. Buddy is the schnauzer I have had the longest who will be 13 in March. I’ve had him since a puppy but all my other pups were fosters that I decided to adopt as they got along so well with each other and they were mostly older dogs that no one wanted. I had three schnauzers die in   2016 so I think my adopting most of my dogs were out of grieving for them. I adopted Harleigh, another Schnauzer, who had a bum leg and who is about 10 now, then Maxx a mixed Chihuahua who is around 7 now, the TJ a pure breed Chihuahua who is around 5, and then Lulubelle who is probably around 6 now. In 2017 I adopted Buster another Chihuahua who had been abandoned in the canyon, left to die. He is probably around 15 years old. So in many ways my house has become a senior dog retirement home. Actually they have been really good for me to keep me active taking care of them and they have been really good company for my retirement. Coco is Mike Romero’s Schnauzer and she is probably around 9 years old now and she was about 1 year old when Mike rescued her. Mike lives in a townhouse about three miles from me and since he’s still working and does not have a yard, he drops Coco off every morning so she can be with my crew and not be left alone.  So that’s about my domestic life. I am semi active in the Gay community still with writing a monthly history column for the QSalt Lake and by doing a monthly lecture series on local Gay history for the Utah Stonewall Historical Society. I have friends that I visit or go out to lunch with most notably is Bill Poore a former director and actor. I am still attached emotionally to Kyle Foote who is currently serving time in prison down in Draper. I have lost at least fifty pounds since my bariatric surgery in 2017 and I feel relatively healthy for a Gay man of my age.  While working on my presentation covering the year 1990, Kyle Daniels contacted me and said he was flying back to SLC and would pick up Alan Anderson and his two dogs, Corky and Bhanni I had been doggy  sitting since last Thursday. Alan and Kyle had gone done to San Diego to watch the U of U football team play in some Bowl Game there. I am not nor ever have been a sports fan. I don’t get it.  My visiting hound dog company left to go back home about 2:30 but poor Bhanni didn't want to leave Club Fernleaf...Kyle had to chase her down ... but the party is over poor girl. She will be glad to see her daddy Alan Anderson when he gets home from San Diego on Wednesday. I know she misses the good eating she had while here. It seems quiet here with only six dogs but of course Corky is like three more dogs. He’s so hyper but be part Jack Russell... my Grandma Johnson called the feeling when company leaves "a glad lonesome".  I spent the rest of the day after finishing up and printing out my talk reading some more of the Agatha Raisin series of Cozy Mysteries that I started last year. I’ve read the first ten in the series and I am finishing up the Case of the Curious Curate. I didn’t speak to anyone today except for Kyle when he came over to pick up the pups. Today was his birthday and I gave him a loaf of date nut bread so he would have some cake to celebrate it with.  He said he never had date nut bread before... what is wrong with people from Idaho? It was way too cold to go out as the arctic blast has really dropped the temperature down. I hope everyone had a relaxing and restful New Years Day or at least recovered from the hangover...

 

2 January 2019 Wednesday

I baked 24 Apple caramel cupcakes and a dozen glazed sugar cookies this morning for those who were brave enough to attend tonight lecture series in this sub freezing weather. Cooking  helped warm up the chilly house. I think it was 6 degrees over night.  I went out this morning down to Fed Ex on Redwood and 21^st South to make copies of my 1990 chronology for tonight's Stonewall Historical Society presentation. It costs about $15 for the copies which I just hand out free to those who attend. So I am ready for tonight Looking back at my 2018 journal, I noticed that we had covered the entire 1980s and are now moving into the Gay Nineties. As it was nearly noon I dropped by the Utah Pride Center to meet with the Gay Men’s Noon Sack Lunch.  I spent the rest of the day relaxing. Taking care of nine dogs last week took more out of me than I realized. When I left the house this evening to head out, I was almost hit by some jackass driving a pickup truck with no lights on. I was making a left from Fernleaf onto 1700 North when he came speeding by. I almost didn’t see him as it already dark out but fortunately at the last minute I did and avoided a collision. I would have been broadsided if I hadn’t seen him just in the nick of time. After that I had no other incidences driving down to the Pride Center. We had a good turnout but a smaller than usual one, due to probably the cold and it being the day after New Years. Courtney Moser was wearing this floor length faux fur coat that reminded me of the 1920’s raccoon coats. That was fun. While there TJ Otaka and Jim McMullin asked if I would contact Mike Romero for the use of his truck as they had bought a ping pong table of all things LOL. I had a good time visiting with the guys there but had way too many cupcakes left over because of the low attendance not because they weren’t delicious. Dwight Wood commented after eating one that he wondered why he hadn’t asked me to marry him. Daryl Dragon the "Captain” of Captain and Tennille died at the age of 76.  Loved their songs from the 1970’s especially Love Will Keep Us Together.

 

3 January 2019 Thursday

I finished reading the Case of the Curious Curate and went down to the Rose Park Library to retrieve two more Agatha Raisin mysteries I had requested. I also decided to try a new Cozy Mystery series by Rhys Bowen. The books are The Haunted House, The Deadly Dance, and The Royal Spyness so I have my reading for the next week. I  have Harleigh, TJ, and Buster on my lap in the lazy boy and Buddy, Lulubelle, and Coco are next to me in the adjoining recliner bundled in blankets as I am reading. Only Maxx is off looking out the front window by himself. Life is good for all us old dogs, me included, on this chilly January morning. Nothing is more satisfying to me then hearing my dogs contentment being petted and loved on especially Harleigh as it is so rare that he wants to be in my lap. Sipping coffee and reading a good mystery,  I might live alone but it's great company.  I made some ham and bean soup for supper but I went to bed early before I had any as it took most of the evening to cook. Today the Democrats took back the House and Nancy Pelosi was elected Speaker making her 3^rd in line for the Presidency. The government is still partially shut down due to Tramp’s temper tantrum over the funding of a boarder wall to appease his base. The Chinese landed on the dark side of the moon.  Remarkable.

 

4 January 2019 Friday

It's so cold this morning. The best Christmas present the pups and I received is the lap quilt that Bill Poore gave us as we use it every day. All the pups and I love snuggling in it on these chilly January days while curled up with an Agatha Raisin mystery sitting in the lazy boy. I am glad I made ham and bean soup last night because it's pretty tasty for lunch today with a slice of buttered homemade bread I had made. Yum . I Felt like baking and keeping the oven on, so made a loaf of cinnamon raisin bread, shepherd pie, and a tray of meatloaf with vegetables for the pups for them. I make the meatloaf in a large cake pan so there’s enough to have for next couple of days... I had a taste of the shepherd pie just because I hadn't made that simple dish in years but it was tasty. It warmed up to 32 degrees today and suppose to be 44 tomorrow...snow is melting and forming ice cycles from melting roof top snow ...that's what I get for not cleaning out my gutters...but it was warm enough for me to venture out to soak in the hot tub...104 degrees felt perfect on my old bones...even my toes and fingers are warm again after basting in my tub... I had shepherd Pie for my supper and read for most of the evening.

 

5 January 2019 Saturday

I went with Michael Romero to help T.J. Otaka and Jim McMullin with bringing a Ping Pong table home to their place in Daybreak. Because I agreed to go with Mike it meant that I missed Kyle Foote’s visiting time and I worried that tomorrow’s time is in the evening. They treated us to Chinese food at the Red Lantern on 90^th South which was pretty tasty. I had sweet and sour pork but really just had my hot and sour soup. The inversion wasn't so bad down in the southern part of the valley but the closer to SLC the air was much worse. It was supposed to have been 44 today but doubt if it even make to 30 so I guess I will bundle up with my pups and read Agatha Raisin and the Haunted House.  Stayed home the rest of the day as it was too cold to go out. I read a lot from my 1992 and 1993 journals to extrapolate material about the Sacred Faeries for Daniel Cureton for a Pagan Journal he publishes. It was really kind of painful to go through the first half of 1993 when Jeff Workman broke up with me and Bobbie Smith and Todd Dayley betrayed me with stealing the Pillar newspaper from me. That was hard to relive that.

6 January 2019 Sunday

Wet rainy day this morning...It is a good day to bake chocolate chip oatmeal cookies and curl up with a book...I hope it doesn’t all turn to ice later. By ten, the rain turned to snow... It came down in heavy flurries but not a blizzard. I've got food in the house, a pot of coffee going, a warm lap blankets, three pups tucked in with me, and a good book to read. I read Agatha Raisin and the Deadly Dance. Oh the weather outside is frightful but as long as we have no place to go...let it snow let it snow let it snow. The snow was sticking and piling up until the afternoon when it started to melt and turn into slush. I am glad I have homemade bean and ham soup and cookies in the house for my lunch. I was undecided whether to try and go see Kyle Foote down to Draper but as his visiting time was at 6:30 I was wary. When it turned dark I thought I better not try it as, who knows how the roads would be with the temperatures dropping to below freezing. Besides I would have to stand out in the freezing weather waiting for the guard truck to check our licenses before letting us through the gates. I don’t like driving at night as it is so I finally resigned myself to not going and I just stayed home and finished reading my book.  I kind of felt bad because I would have liked to have seen Kyle at the beginning of the new year. I ate some left over shepherd pie for supper and went to bed to watch some TV.  I watched The Others with Nicole Kidman as a ghost who didn’t know she was dead. I hadn’t  seen it in years and it was still really good even if I knew the surprise ending. I watched a few episodes of The Ghost Adventures too before finally calling it a night. I never left the house all day. Republicans could have funded the wall when they controlled both houses of Congress and the White House. Why didn't they? And why are they pushing it on Democrats now? It was never about border security it was about dividing Americans and weakening Americas influence... Putin couldn't have a better KGB operative to destroy western democracies. Who is the real threat to America? 3000 Guatemalan families or Putin’s Russia? First it was Hillary Clinton, then the Muslims now it's the Mexican border and soon to be Nancy Pelosi...how gullible can some people be?

 

7 January 2019 Monday

I wonder if Fran ever thinks about this day when we were married so many years ago. Never wear a loose cotton shirt while cooking on a gas range. While cooking rice this morning and reaching up to get a lid to cover the pot, I felt a burning sensation and looked down and part of my shirt was smoldering. I felt a burning in my bosom but it wasn't the Holy Ghost. I was lucky that it just singed the bottom of my African print shirt and didn’t really catch fire as the shirt was loose cotton. I know I've been called a flaming queen but I don't think this is exactly what folks had in mind. I sent off two long letters to Kyle to make up for not visiting him. I then wrote up an article for the Lambda Lore and then sent it off. I also wrote some more information up on the Salt and Sage from 1992 and sent that off to Daniel Cureton. I read from a new book The Royal Spy for most of the evening. I tried something new baking meatloaf in a cake pan...hiding peas, carrots, red bell peppers, cooked rice and barley inside so pups will eat their vegetables. I was able to bake some artisan crusty bread, a loaf of cranberry walnut bread, and some beef and barley soup without incinerating myself. Buster whimpers to be picked up and put in the lazy boy with Buddy...I really had my doubts that Buster would ever accept us as his family but I think he finally has. He doesn’t isolate in a corner anymore... he had such a rough start when I first fostered him, fretful, scared, nippy, and hiding...never could pet him or pick him up without his trying to bite me... now if he would only stop thinking it's cool to wet in the house lol... It was a slushy day with wet messy snow.

·         Michael Aaron Thank you for getting your column in! I'm hoping you can be on my "panel" for the Person of the Year.: need help deciding among 3 candidates for Person of the Year: Michael Sanders - created first Leather Pride for Utah, tired of waiting on bureaucracy for PrEP information printed and distributed it on his own dime; Robert Moolman; Joined the UPC as executive director and people believe he has opened it up to the community like never before; Lukas Horns: Created Project Rainbow that spreads Pride and raises money in all corners of Utah.

·         Me-I think Michael Sanders has put in more years and created or participated in Organizations for at least 10 years including SAGE. I love Robert Moolman and he stepped into some mighty big shoes and has really made the center a place people want to be. I only met Lucas Horne once and I know he volunteers feeding the homeless youth as well... as well as being gorgeous

·         MA-hehehe - so the vote is Lukas for a beautiful cover SO, to focus on the "Who has affected the Utah LGBT community the most, this year, for better or worse?"

·         Lucas Horne probably with LGBT visibility with the Rainbow project as it is entirely voluntary on his part. I think Michael Sanders is a hero but I think he focuses on the Gay Men and AIDS community which might get Trans and Lesbians panties in a bunch.

·         MA hehehe. Look at you being politically savvy. Notice that all 3 candidates are white cis gay men

·         Let’s not be homophobic

·         MA At least they are age-diverse

·         Troll and Chicken?

·         MA So, the votes are basically exactly where my dilemma is. - two for each candidate so far. My preference is Lukas as well, but with the arguments, I'm starting to lean towards Rob. And Michael was the one I was sure I was going to do when I started.

·         Go with your gut... it’s your magazine after all... it’s your investment and work. You'll get criticized no matter what you do

·         MA yeah - it's important to me on this one to be right, for some reason, hehe I'd put all 3 of them up, but the "3 white gay men" will raise more ire than a single one.

·         You can’t do a Gay Trinity? Father Son and Holy Ghost? Pull a name out of a hat... they are all great candidate but don't reveal to anyone who was being nominated because someone might be butt hurt. Actually I think Robert Moolman would be happy to see Lucas get the recognition for all the fundraising he did for the center... maybe it would encourage other young people to get off their butts LOL

 

8 January 2019 Tuesday

I am just reading and watching movies for most of the day. I don’t feel like going any place but I am getting a little self imposed Cabin Fever. The snow is melting slowly only because it’s been too cold. I need to do some house cleaning because the pups are tracking in mud on their feet now that much of the snow in the backyard is gone. I watched The Others, that Nicole Kidman movie. Even though I knew the surprised ending it was still creepy seeing it again. I also been watching a lot of the Ghost Adventures series. I am into ghosts lately. I fell asleep this evening in my lazy boy dropping off from reading and when I got up to go to bed, I found that one of my pups had wet the bed. Ugh. So I had to strip the bed entirely. I have a mattress protector so it was not soaked but I threw all the sheets and covering downstairs and had to remake the bed. I wonder what got into one of them because none have done that before. Only Lulubelle and Maxx really can get up on the bed by themselves anyway. It was probably Lulubelle as I think she has an incontinent issue anyway. Such is life.

 

9 January 2019 Wednesday

What do you do when you wake up at 5 in the morning? Why get up and bake banana nut bread of course then go lay back down with the hounds. I needed to use up some over ripe bananas anyway. I spent a lot of the day typing up Sacred Faerie information from 1993 for Daniel Cureton. I am up through March 1993 and that was a hard time for me and brings up a lot of sad memories of loss and betrayal. I also watched Ray Milland in the ghost movie from the 1940’s called The Uninvited. At noon I went to the Pride Center for the Gay Men’s Sack Lunch. There was this old guy who looked like a bum who showed up who wanted to argue with everyone. I was trying to be non responsive to his criticism about who the historical society should be interviewing. Somehow he thought we should be interviewing the hidden Gay population which is an impossibility. When he asked what was the name of the organization which was sponsoring these lectures, I said The Utah Queer Historical Society and I might as well have stuck him with a pin because he jumped up and ran out of the room. We all were surprised and amused. I doubt if he will be coming back for sure. Honey, you can die with your secret.  I made a Chicken Pot Pie for supper tonight from a recipe dear John Reeves gave me many years ago. I am also cooking thighs for the pups supper tonight and thought why not use the broth and some meat for my own supper? I watched some Ghost Adventures before turning in early.

 

10 January 2019 Thursday

I baked two mini loaves of pecan cranberry artisan bread and had a nice visit with my friend Richard P. Butler who I gave a loaf of banana nut bread. He needed someone to share his adventures down in Phoenix cleaning out his friend’s house. With what Rick left him, Rich will be set for life. We went to Lowes to look at refrigerators because I wanted to downsize the one I have which is a little too big for my needs and my kitchen. I never did like it and only bought it because my first refrigerator had died and I bought a Samsung from Sears which I didn’t really care for but Zack Seach who was helping me at the time convinced me to get it. Looking at the ones at Lowe, we found the perfect one that will fit my space. It has no ice maker or water dispenser which I hate. I gave Rich a loaf of banana nut bread when he left. At home I ordered it on line from Lowes with a 35 percent discount and they will deliver it Saturday for free and haul the old one away for $20. It’s a 17.6-cu ft Top-Freezer Refrigerator Stainless Steel finish Whirlpool. With the sales tax it was $695. I got an email from Lowes saying they will deliver the refrigerator this Saturday. I was hoping to go see Kyle this Saturday as his visiting time is from 1 to 2:30 but may have to go Sunday at 7:45 in the morning ugh.

 

11 January 2019 Friday

I worked this morning scrubbing behind the refrigerator for my new one that is coming tomorrow. There wasn’t nearly as many mouse droppings but did find a dead mouse that had been there a while. I had to move my pantry cabinet out to make room for the old one to be removed and new put in. I mopped and took the frozen food downstairs to the freezer there. Bill Poore treated me to lunch at Charlie Chow's Chinese Food this afternoon. The air quality is really bad...foggy and smoggy. Bill seemed in good spirits. I gave Bill some banana nut bread and cream of broccoli potato soup I made this morning when I took him home. Cleaning out the freezer and refrigerator, I found some chicken noodle soup I had forgotten about so guess what I am having for my supper? It's going to be 22 degrees tonight so its lap blankets, lap dogs, and a good mystery tonight. I am reading the Royal Spy but I didn’t think it’s as entertaining as the Agatha Raisin series.

 

12 January 2019 Saturday

I cleaned the kitchen and removed carpet runners this morning. The Lowe’s delivery guys came right at 1 so never did get to go down to Draper today. Well there’s tomorrow. The Dogs were so cozy that I hated to trick them into coming into the movie room where I shut them behind the doggie gate as to not be in the way of the delivery guys. The delivery guys were aghast at how big my old refrigerator was and kept asking how did I get it in the house because it was way too big to come up the front stairs... They asked if I remembered how it was brought in as it was too large to come up the front stairs. I said I couldn’t remember but they ended up having to take it out the back steps  and across the yard through the side gate. They sure earned the $20 I paid to have it hauled away....it was well worth it to get it out of the house... Some people get excited over a new car. I get excited over a new refrigerator. This whirlpool is a smaller one is just perfect but a new refrigerator is like moving into a new house...things that used to fit don’t now,  but it's still is a good thing that I swapped out the appliance. The only thing was that because the old refrigerator was hooked into the water line I had to turn off water to the house until I could get Mike to come over and see how to cap off the hose. We ended up having to go to Sunderland’s to buy a valve to put on the tube to close it off before I could turn the water back on. I also had to buy some padded furniture stops to put into the oak trim of the breakfast bar as the refrig’s door just barely touched it and I didn’t want the door to get all dented up. I was pretty exhausted from going up and down the stairs transferring food from the refrigerator in the garage back up stairs  and just retired to the lazy boy to rest before having to go out to the play at the Pioneer Theater. . It's hard to get up and get ready to go out when you have three dogs snuggled in on your lap... Jim Dabakis had asked me this morning to go with him to see Lion In Winter at the Pioneer Theater at the U of U tonight. I loved the Katherine Hepburn and Peter O’Toole version. I've seen the stage version twice...once thirty years ago when Theater 138 produced it and once with Brandon Burt when he was a theater critic for the City Weekly... I know a lot of the lines by heart. I’ve always been disappointed in the stage version as they seem to concentrate on the humor in the lines and not in the love story so when it gets to that portion of the play it seems hallow. I was pretty tired and Jim fell asleep a little through it as he was coming down with a cold having just returned from Mexico.

 

13 January 2019 Sunday

I was up really early to get on the road by seven this morning. Kyle’s visiting time was from 7:45 to 9:15. We had a nice visit and I mostly just wanted to see him since I missed last weekend. There wasn’t a whole lot of news and only a few people were there visiting. Kyle did say that the counselor from Indiana did write him and said he would save his admission information for the fall.  Once back home I just worked on the Sacred Faerie chronicles. 1993 was a very hard year for me as that Jeff Workman left me and then Bobbie Smith and the other faeries I trusted turned on me over the control of the newspaper The Pillar.  When I wasn’t typing I was reading and curled up in the lazy boy with TJ. Surprisingly Harleigh has been wanting up in my lap lately. He never was a lap dog but I am happy to have him.

 

14 January 2019 Monday

Well I finally completed going through my journals from 1989 through 1993 pulling out all reference to the Sacred Faeries at Daniel Cureton’s request...It took me a long time but it’s done... 147 pages ... keeping a journal is blessing and a curse... The most interesting thing to me, in re-reading them, is my beginning to transition to the use of computers and the learning all the new technology ... kind of like going from a horse and buggy to a horseless carriage...it was frustrating learning all that new technology at the age I was, and all the new jargon that went along with it... instead of typing I was “inputting”. I was so excited to connect with other Gay men seeking sex  on BBS systems like Lower Lights. That was long before Google. 

I made some ham and split pea soup for supper but I spent the rest of the day reading more from Agatha Raisin book series and watched some TV on Hulu catching up on my favorite shows I missed. My favorites are light comedies like Bob’s Burgers, The Simpsons, and a new comedy The Kids Are All Right.

 

15 January 2019 Tuesday

Spent the morning typing up my 1991 Journal on to the computer from my notebook. I worked on it until ten, at least four hours. I want to get them out into the internet for safe keeping.  It was cold today. I doubt if it got up to freezing but I did go and sit in the hot tub in the afternoon to warm my bones up. I made some onion soup today that hit the spot. It was Schnauzer butt washing day. Notice poor Coco had a dirty rear so cleaned her up and then decided to wash the under carriage of Harleigh and Buddy.. everyone is now a clean teen with a clean hinny and now they can strut their tushys. I left Buddy and Harleigh home when I took Coco back over to Mike’s. They can’t go down the steps very well and I think they are just as comfortable staying home. I finished one Agatha Raisin book and started in on another one. I fell asleep in the lazy boy covered with dogs. I noticed when I went to bed how much muscle mass I have loss on my arms. The skin is starting to droop rather than cling around former muscle. I should eat more protein or perhaps go back to the gym to use the weight machines. I have been craving pickles and cottage cheese... am I too old to be pregnant? I love it when Buster sleeps on his back with his belly up and paws up like he’s dead. It means the old boy feels safe and secure in his forever home... I saw that Michael Aaron chose Robert Moolman as Person of the Year for the cover of the QSalt Lake. Great choice.  My latest Lambda Lore Column came out today on line. I wrote about 1990 and the conflict between Ben Barr, David Sharpton and the formation of the Horizon House. Rep Steve King of Iowa was stripped of all his committees for being a racist...So why not strip Don the Con of his powers then? Britain’s Brexit plan from the European Union was defeated. Comrade Putin must be doing a jig.  Broadway actress Carol Channing died today at the age of 97. She was one of a kind.

 

16 January 2019 Wednesday

I live with very spoiled dogs. I Made four mini loaves of lemon blueberry bread on this cold January day. It's what happens when you find blueberries hidden in the back of the freezer.  I went to the Gay Men’s Sack Lunch and there was but a small crowd. The weather is too cold to be out and about for some I suppose. Midwinter blues, I suppose.

 

17 January 2019 Thursday

I was surprised to get a big package delivered by UPS from Bobbie Smith who lives in Minnesota now...it contained a lot of Movies, and Gay history books. He even sent me 4 Utah Stonewall Center coffee mugs that have to be 25 years old. Bobbie created the Utah Stonewall Library that was once the largest collection west of Chicago...a remnant of it is on loan in the downtown library. He also sent me a cool faerie wand and a cook book for dogs... my pups are excited for that. Almost didn't see this note in all the packing in the box "Thank you for all you taught me about building community. The communities I'm part of are better because of you." Nice to know your life has impacted others in positive ways... we all had our work cut out for us a quarter of a century ago...if we didn't take of each other who would? I am grateful to have lived in a time of giants anxiously engaged in good causes when all the world wished we would just die and fade away. Strange how he sent me this when I had just sent off to Daniel Cureton the last of the Sacred Faeries Chronicles from 1993 when Bobbie broke my heart by betraying my trust by working with Todd Dayley to take the Pillar Newspaper out of my control. That was a hard to time to relive.

 

18 January 2019 Friday

I posted to my Utah Stonewall Lecture Series site some information of the formation of Utah Queer Nation in February 1991. Dan Cureton wrote me saying “Ben, seeing what you post, you seriously have to donate all your personal effects to the archive. Such history! I wrote back to him “Yes I get tired just reading about all we did and all the people I knew who were the pioneer activists... I was a marvel lol ... much of journals are X rated because I wasn't shy about writing about my sexual encounters” He responded “Which makes them even better, don't hold that stuff out, that's part of life and living a valid experience. It's been quite thrilling to publish the Sacred Faerie diary entries, and I know there is much more out there that could go into archives.”

“What I sent you about the faeries is just miniscule lol.., the bitch fights at Affirmation, community council and the Utah Stonewall center are epic lol...”  Then Daniel told me what would happen to anything I sent him to be published. “what's happening is copies of the volume go to: The U of U Library, Weber State, Utah State Lib, Library of Congress, and UC Santa Barbara Religions Collection where they live forever in those archives and EBSCOhost, the database, indexes it for primary source research in libraries.” So I guess that is my life work for this year typing up my journals and sending them off to Daniel. I gave him permission to publish anything I send him. The Republicans voted to lift sanctions from some Russian Oligarch. Sounds like to me that GOP stands for Good Old Putin than Grand Old Party anymore... just saying

 

19 January 2019 Saturday

Today is my dad's birthday. He passed away December 26, 2004 in Palmdale, California. He would have been 80 on his birthday. All my kinfolk of his generation have passed away leaving all us kids orphans. We baby boomers are now the older generation. Reeling in the years. I spent almost all day typing up my 1991 Journal. Brings back a lot of good and painful memories. I was so broke even while teaching school. Barely could make ends meet. After that watched some television before going to bed. The news is so depressing with the Government being partially shut down and no end in sight so that is all anyone talks about on the news.

·         Deirdre Kenneth Leguizamon Jones I wish Deirdre and Kenny would have been able to meet him. 😞

·         Stephanie Steph Williams Love my Uncle Edgar, he was a good uncle to me.

·         Terrie Williams your dad and my dad sure did look a lot alike as they grew older. I miss them

·         Barbara Danforth Nadsady I loved your parents. “Salt of the Earth” people.

 

20 January 2019 Sunday

The pups are driving me crazy, up and down and barking at night, so I get a very restless sleep. In fact I was so out of it this morning that I screwed up looking at Kyle Foote’s visiting schedule. I had thought it was at 1 but it was actually 9:30 and I didn’t check it until after 9 so there was no way I could have been down to draper by the right time. I could have gone late but I decided that he will just have to do without a visit this weekend.  I had been typing up the month of April in my 1991 journal and the time got away from me. I am just having some cinnamon and pecan bread hot out of the oven for my supper. I heard that a huge storm is coming in tomorrow maybe 6 inches of snow in the valley... probably no seeing the super moon tonight. I stayed up until ten to try and see the lunar eclipse and the Blood moon but it was a little too cloudy to see from here in Westpointe...too bad ...A winter storm warning for tomorrow was announced with

snow accumulations of 4 to 8 inches expected, locally and higher along benches and near Tooele. The Winds they say are gusting as high as 30 mph.  Gloria Gaynor’s “ I will Survive” hit the airwaves on this date in  1979 forty years ago... now don’t I feel old? In the news social media has been going crazy posting a video of some high school boys from Kentucky taunting a Native American elder and, Vietnam Vet, named Nathan Phillips while in Washington. They were wearing MAGA hats and they were there to protest women marching for choice.

·         Terrie Williams I saw it from my front porch just before it went completely dark. Pretty cool

·         Greg Allen It was visible for me a half hour ago.

·         Daniel Cureton I see it in cottonwood

·         Kimberlee Gile We were very lucky and somehow got a patch of crystal clear sky over our house and could watch it from our porch, too. It was very cool!

 

21 January 2019 Monday

No snow this morning but heavy rain all night. This morning when I got up It was 46 degrees out. Better rainfall then shoveling snow except the hounds won't go outside in the rain so I have my mop ready for little accidents... ever vigilant. Temperature has really dropped to 33 degrees within an hour and here comes the snow... Just in the last 45 minutes the heavy rain has turned to snow... the ground below the snow is going to turn to ice...a lot of mountain roads are closed or must have chains. We have food in the house, hot chocolate, a good book to read, and no place we have to go...I am reading Janet Evanovich’s latest Stephanie Plum series Twenty Five and Alive. The snow has been nonstop for the last 2 hours and is really piling up...good thing I have a lot of hot chocolate....brrrrr. Its 11:30 and it’s still snowing ...so I am having a grilled cheese sandwich and Campbell’s tomato soup for lunch. TJ and I huddle beneath my favorite Christmas present from Bill Poore, this quilted lap blanket. We huddle in it on snowy days like today. At five, my Mexican neighbor is snow plowing my driveway as I write this so I rushed out and gave him some blueberry lemon bread I had in the freezer... I was really dreading shoveling today because the snow is wet and icy. Everything has turned to ice and it's going to be low freezing tomorrow so it's going to be crazy for a while. Mike Romero took today and tomorrow off. I bet he’s glad he did.

·         Bill Poore Wow wished I was over there having hot chocolate with the pups....the boys are shoveling the walks, cleaned off my Van...slipped them 20 dollars...their mom does not want me to give them money. She thinks them doing it is a good thing to do. They take the money anyway and I tell them not to tell their mom...They say she does not want them to take money, but I told them I don't care what she wants. I want them to have it...I am older than she is. How gay is that, giving your neighbor a blueberry Lemon Bread, nice of him and nice of you. My twin neighbor boys did mine and I gave them money.....I don't bake. I am sure the boys would rather have money so I buy treats at school....

 

22 January 2019 Tuesday

Coming home tonight from attending the Tuesday Night Gay Men’s Group at the Pride Center, the Moon was so large and luminescent. It was amazing and so magnificent. I was down at the Pride Center twice today and I will be twice tomorrow. I met with Connell O'Donovan at noon to go over arrangements for the first public Utah Queer Historical Society presentation to be held at the end of the month and then I went to the Tuesday Evening Gay Men Support Group at seven just to get out of the house and to socialize...what can I say I am a meeting junkie... besides when I'm at a meeting I am not baking. The Tuesday night group was interesting and Dwight Wood was there and Bill Blevin and Doug Taylor. I’ve known Bill for years and years. He talked about how he felt like he does so much for this ex lover because he feels like family but also doesn’t feel the gratitude from all his contributions. All of us had similar stories of trying to buy  a relationship. My absolute pet peeve is a meeting being held up for late comers. It’s shows a lack of respect for those who are there on time. Also being constantly late is not only disrespectful it's being lazy.

 

23 January 2019 Wednesday

So it has come to this; that in my old age I am sleeping on the gypsy red couch in my front room so that the dogs will let me get some sleep. For the past several days the pups have been so restless, up and down, on my captain bed, which is too high for them to get into without  me boosting them up. Everyone starts off in bed except Harleigh and Buster. Then when I am almost a sleep I hear Buster whimpering to join us in bed. So I get up in the dark, find him, pick him up and place him on the bed then TJ and him snarl and  growl at each other until they each find their own safe space. Usually TJ is under cover by my head and Buster likes to tuck himself in next to Buddy’s butt. So half way through the night, I hear Buddy whimpering to be let down to go out and pee as he can’t get down on his own anymore. Once he’s down, then  TJ wants down which he can do on his own but can’t get back up. So he will scratched at the bed until I lift him back up which pisses Buster off again. In the meanwhile, Maxx has had enough and goes and sleeps by himself in the front room and Lulubelle is up and down seeing what’s going on in the front room. Then Harleigh starts barking like a crazy dog because Buddy is up and they both start barking and scampering back and forth on the hardwood floors. I get up and give them a treat to shut them up and then everyone else is up for a treat. At 3 in the morning I try to go back to sleep but I have to go through the whole rigmarole again because they all want to be with me. If I shut the door they just scratch at it and bark.  So for the past couple of days I have been sleeping in the lazy boy sectional with TJ and Lulubelle in my section and Buster and Buddy in the section next to me. That was kind of working but it was hard on me. So last night finally I decided to stretch out on the couch and it was the first time I was able to sleep through the night. Buster wanted up and tucked  himself in beside me, snuggled against the back cushions, TJ was buried at my feet. Lulu Belle was up by my head on the extension, Buddy slept in his big doggy bed, and Harleigh slept in the little doggie bed by the couch and when I got up this morning Maxx was splayed out on my bed which he had all for himself.  And the winner is Maxx. But we all had a quiet night. I hope you all did too. I went to both the Men’s Noon Sack Lunch and Terry Gilman’s “Men On” group at the Center. Actually I enjoyed the Noon Lunch guys group better and Bill Poore showed up. I stopped at Arby’s before attending and bought some onion rings and curly fries which I probably haven’t had in years and years. However I could only eat a few of them and ate none of Onion Rings which I took home with me for later. My Brownies were a hit especially with David Sheld, this older retired Educator who also had worked for Davis School District and has been with the same partner for fifty years. I really enjoy going down to the Pride Center for the Gay Men Noon Sack Lunch. They are all crazy like me except maybe Doug Taylor...❤ and I'm not sure about him lol I did run into Deb Hall and Angie Salot as I was leaving and Angie said that we were good for February 27^th for the next Queer Historical Society oratory. I asked Kevin Hillman to be our next speaker, and Rich Kane agreed to video tape Luci Malin’s presentation this month. So I’ve done all the things I committed I’d do at yesterday’s meeting with Connell.  I was tired for much of the day and I just read some more from my Agatha Christie Series before attending the Men On Group at 7. It was actually at 6:30 which is weird time and so I was late. T.J. and Jim, Charles and Richard, were there of course but so was David Omer, Dwright Wood, and Terry Gilman. It was a small group of probably 14 people probably due to the cold and it being icy out. I learned more about Dwight tonight that he is part of the Wood’s Cross family of North Salt Lake and Bountiful. That was very interesting to me. Anyway I didn’t get much out of the meeting as it was geared around dating and  Yes while it was interesting hearing different people’s views it was not very relevant to where I am at this stage of my life. Most of the topics were about dating, what is expected on a date, and where to meet people for dating,  but for me it was not all that relevant as I am not interested in dating anymore and finding a life partner. I realized that more completely that I am done searching for love and someone to take care of me and share my life with me. I have no desire to be a care taker of anyone anymore. It was interesting to listen to many my age or older still expressing a desire for a partner and frustrated at the chances of finding that special one. I said at this stage of my life I am content with having a circle of friends and am protective of my alone time. However for those who still are looking for love I am sure they might have gotten something out of it. The ages in the group were more middle and upper age men than younger guys who probably are still dating and who the meeting seemed to be more geared for. I was also extra tried so was glad to go home and go to bed. I slept again on the couch with Lulubelle TJ, and Buster.

·         Charline Wachs Sounds about right, except I give Max and Zoe treats to get them off my bed so I can get comfortable and then they will go sleep in their own beds and that just leaves my two little dogs. It is amazing how much room little take up.

 

24 January 2019 Thursday

Rich Butler wanted to come over  today to visit before going downtown to take care of financial matters about all the money Rick left him. It gave me  a reason to straighten up the house that I have kind of let go. I decided I wanted to make some Rye Bread and it turned out really yummy. That was what I had for my supper. I made some more meat loaf for the pups with ground turkey as well as ground beef. I also add peas and carrots, kidney beans and pearl barley. I’ve worked on typing up my 1991 Journal from May/ Slow going. In the evening I read and watched The Kids Are all Right which is my favorite new show about a Catholic family in the early 1970’s.

·         Brandon Devlin I also wanted to let you know that Kendra Custin is our Communications Coordinator at the Pride Center, and she has asked that the Utah Pride Center be added as an organizer to the Oratories event coming up. She helps run the UPC Facebook account and this is the easiest way to get our event on the main Utah Pride Center page. I think it is also just a best practice to add the UPC as an organizer to any event the UQHS does, simply for ease of advertising. If you have any issues adding the UPC to the event, please feel free to make me or Kendra an admin to the UQHS page and we can make the addition as well. Let me know if you need anything else! Best, Brandon

 

25 January 2019 Friday

I Slept on the couch again last night and it seems to be helping with the dogs. I Went out to lunch with Bill Poore to Charlie Chow’s. I had orange chicken and pretty tasty although I took most of it home for Mike’s supper. I then took him over to Smith’s on 8^th and 9^th so he could get some groceries and he wanted to pay me the rest of what he owed me which was $200. So he’s totally paid off from the $3000 I loaned him a three years ago. He is getting so forgetful although he claims he’s not but he left his debit card in the cash machine but fortunately a nice man found it and it was returned before it could have been stolen. Then went to have a haircut and beard trim...with what little hair I have left I don’t know why I bother... Glad that Nancy Pelosi got Trump to back down... I imagine he missed flying to his golf courses. After 35 days the Government shutdown is over with nothing shown for it.  A lot of pain and suffering was caused by Trump for no other reason than he’s a megalomaniac and has no idea what he’s doing nor do I think he cares as long as his ego is stroked. Roger Stone was arrested today.

 

26 January 2019 Saturday

Third night sleeping on the couch with Buster and TJ and third night of sleeping through the night. No barking, getting up and down. They just all want to be near me. I can’t fault them for that. My house was never all that large to begin with but I seem to be retreating into just three spaces in my old age, the kitchen, the bathroom and the living room. I never use the theater room anymore, or the bedroom and bathroom downstairs, and really never use the dining room except for company. Now it seems I'm not using my bedroom anymore either unless I get rid of my captain bed and get a bed on the floor. Life changes as you begin to fade away. I was up early around 5 and stayed up so I could get down to Draper. Kyle’s visiting time was early from 7:45 to 9:15.  I left the house at 7 and noticed that dawn was breaking over the peaks and I thought how it’s getting a lot lighter in the morning than it was a few weeks ago when I last went down in the morning. There were few of us only about five. One couple came all the way up from Richfield so they had a long drive. Kevin Rucci was there to visit with Craig but he was the only one of the usual folks that come. I explained to Kyle why I didn’t come last week. He said he had a cold for much of the week anyway. He also had a cut over his right eye from banging into a counter or something. I caught him up on news on the outside and he told me of his snow plowing on Monday and visiting Fortitude so he does get out occasionally. He said yesterday there had been a Swat Team Raid because some inmate, who worked on the road Crew, evidently had what Kyle said “A Pharmacy up his ass” so everyone at Lone Peak had to be search. Kyle said he had just bought a coke and poured in a cup of ice when the raid came and of course it was poured out. When our visit was over I hugged him and also Craig Crawford. I visited with Kevin out in the parking lot and he wants to meet me for coffee and find out how he can volunteer for the Pride Center. So many friends of John Williams in Equality Utah and other organizations like that have shunned him for visiting with Craig. I told him fuck them that what he is doing is a decent thing. The weather was up into the high 30’s warm enough to clean the poop and hose off the deck. It so needed to be done. Anyway didn’t do much else today. I made some enchiladas and a potato salad and then just read more from Agatha Raisin and in the evening watch a couple of episodes of Frankie and Grace and the latest episodes of The Orville and Brooklyn 99.  I

·         Bill How was prison boy?  Looks like I am going to be putting a lot of money in the van. 120 yesterday 175 today and if I let it 500 Monday.....I told the mechanic I think I will just let the van go....so I will need to start looking for a little truck like yours.

·         Me Go on KSL they have a lot of vehicle to sell. I can drive you around also. I had to be down at the prison by 7:30 so I left the house pretty early. He had accidently cut himself above the right eye and was getting over a cold. Friday a swat team searched everything and made them all strip because some in mate had what Kyle said, "A Pharmacy up his ass".  If you need some help getting the truck I can loan you some money

 

27 January 2019 Sunday

Didn’t even leave the house as it’s been so cold outside and dreary.  I made chicken and noodle soup tonight using some of the chicken I cook up for the hounds. I also am tired from sleeping on the couch but it does settle down the dogs so it’s a tradeoff I suppose. I spend an awful lot on the computer typing up my 1991 journal that recorded so many events like the formation of Queer Nation, the Utah Pride Center, the end of Beyond Stonewall and so much personal information like Mom and Dad moving from California where they had lived for forty years to Arizona. I had a lot of good times of course but I was living in poverty even as a 3^rd year teacher. It’s difficult at times to relieve the painful obsessive unrequited love I had for Billy Bikowski.

 

28 January 2019 Monday

I certainly hope cake is in one of the four food groups or I am in big trouble. I bought a big day old white cake from the Smith’s bakery and I have been eating it bit by bit. I made an enchilada casserole today. Of course it’s too much for me so I guess Mike Romero will get soup and casserole. So grateful that at my time of life I have the means and resources to feed six pups homemade casseroles for their supper...actually cheaper than canned food and they refuse to eat dry kibble, all except Harleigh who uses it as an in between snack...on the menu tonight ground beef and Turkey with peas and carrots, blended garbanzo beans, and pasta... my pups eat better than I do...funny at night when I lay on the couch Buster comes running and wants up to snuggle up against me...this coming from an old boy who use to bite me as he was so scared... I don’t think I am missing out by traveling...all I need is here on Fernleaf...you are rich when you keep life simple.

 

29 January 2019 Tuesday

I ventured out into the cold to get my 1998 Sonoma truck registered because the tags expired in January. I didn’t have to wait long at all and it was $40 for the inspection and $70 for the registration. It still was surprised to see the year 2020 for the tag.... how did I ever live this long? I spent much of the day contacting people to make sure everything all is set for tomorrow’s premier of the Utah Queer Historical Society.  I am not the official director but it seems that Rocky and Becky has left it up to me to make sure it goes off without a hitch. I’ve had to organize events now for over 30 years when do I get to be an emeritus? Again my butt is glued to the desk chair most of the day typing away on the year 1991. I am now into August and I have 132 pages typed up from my hand written journal. I have stayed true to what I wrote back then only clarifying poorly written information when I tired and added last names of people. I turned 40 years old in 1991 and I can’t believe I was doing so much with so little.

This evening I almost didn’t go out to the Tuesday Night Gay Men's Group because I was really tired having been up since five wakened by the pups. I am glad I went even though it was hard to keep my eyes open... I’ve decided I like this group and enjoy meeting new people.

An old friend Bill Blevin is a regular there and of course I started going because of Dwight Wood. He is a fascinating person all though we come from entirely different worlds. He made his money being an Interior Designer and having his own business and I’ve been a poorly paid school teacher. A new kid Liam who's doing a mastery program at the U of U was there observing the dynamic of the group. The discussion was very eclectic ranging from veteran service in the military to Josh's dilemma of parents turning his autistic sister against him. Bill Blevin was going in the next day for an MRI to see if his cancer is gone. They talked about the Gourmandie get together for Friday. I don't know everyone there so not much good at remembering who said what but it was an interesting meeting. I think the topic was supposed to be continuing on facing fear? It's better than sitting home and isolating but I am glad to be home now.

I contacted Rich Kane who freelances now after losing his job at the SL Tribune when they downsized last year.  I heard on the radio that the State’s House of Representatives voted to repeal Utah’s Sodomy laws to clean up unenforceable laws. Well it’s about time it’s only been 15 years since the Supreme Court said states laws like that are unconstitutional.

·         Me to Rich Kane Are you still available tomorrow to video tape for the Utah Queer HS starting at 6:30?

·         Rich Kane Planning on it. You want just a single shot focused on Luci, right? Not a lot of moving around? And do you know if the room will have enough lighting?

·         Me-I leave everything up to your judgment but single shot probably is better for archival. It's in the main floor meeting room and I've seen videos taken there and does seem like it is lit well

 

30 January 2019 Wednesday

I so enjoy the fellows who go to the Gay Men's Noon Sack. I just chuckle and so enjoy the stories and comments and profanity. Home from a very successful event at the Utah Pride Center.

The first presentation of the Utah Queer Historical Society's Oratorical series was held with an over flowing capacity. I said at one point if I'd known we were going to have this many people I would have made more cookies. Both Connell O'Donovan and I thought maybe 15 people might show but we had what Connell thinks was close to 60 people. Long time feminist activist Luci Malin was our guest speaker and I had Rich Kane video her for archival purposes as well put it on the Pride Center's site. Saw a lot of old familiar faces and lots of young people which was a surprised. I asked Connell if he was pleased as punch by the turn out and he said I'm pleased as champagne. We did good tonight and I think our community is hungry for our history. We are a people with a history of which we should be proud.

·         Bill Poore I for sure am not one of those guys, what uses profanity? I like those guys. I promise not to say anything next time.

·         Benedgar Williams Oh sure

 

31 January 2019 Thursday

After relentless badgering by Richard Harmston, I did what I dread most. I renewed my gym membership...I tried a while ago to rejoin and placate Richard but my health insurance no longer used Silver Sneakers...I thought Thank You Jesus but then Richard barraged me with the new free gym membership information for seniors! If I was to get any relief from being hounded I knew what I had to do...so pray for me in the hour of our death as I go back to the pit of pain and endless torment tomorrow the 1st of February the Roman month of purification. Why me oh Lord?  Rocky O’Donovan and I talked briefly yesterday about creating a Public Group for the Historical Society as I had created a Facebook to promote events. Rocky agreed to set one up. All he’s done so far is to create a cover photo and invited Becky Moss and to join. I am not thrilled with the cover of just two Lesbians from the 1920;s which I see no relation to Utah but it’s his site even though he set me up as an administrator too. It is an Open Group so any one can join, and anyone can read our posts. From this we can create Events, post photos, have discussions. I wanted to build on the momentum engendered by yesterdays enthusiasm and as I am a de facto director  until we elected a board and chair. I sent out a group message “Lets plan on having a meeting for Sunday February 10th at 1 pm at the Center. If you are working on anything please share, this meeting should also discuss future presenters, people who are willing to work with the Marriott Library, spear head a display case of our artifacts. Now that we have people's attention we need to get busy and do the work of a historical society. If you know of folks who are writing any histories that would be great to keep tract of them, and perhaps introduce our resources to the history departments of U of U, Westminster, SLCC, WSU, UVU etc. Hope you are excited as I am.” Daniel Cureton responded that he would be glad to be a liaison with the Marriott Library “I could help with the Marriott part since I'm intimately familiar and helped build all the collections on Queer Utah history.”  I told him we have two collections, Jim Dabakis and Dan Fahndrich’s that need inventorying. Daniel responded, “I can assist or fully prepare those collections for deposit, as that's my specialization is archives and processing historical records.” Rocky however pointed out that the center is closed on Sundays so I had to do a bit of scrambling but Carol Gnade made a few contacts and we will be able to meet on the 3^rd Sunday of each month so we are scheduled for February 17^th. Luci Malin wrote “Thank you all for the opportunity to speak last night! It was fun and great to connect with old friends.  Maybe we should plan a Homecoming or class reunion type event!” Several  people liked that idea and I mentioned that since counties used to have “old timers” reunions maybe so should we. So here it is the end of January thank goodness but the air hasn’t been horrible and we have not had relentless cold like the 50 below in the Midwest. The government is back to be open until President Asshole has another temper tantrum. The Utah State Legislators are chomping at the bits to modify or overturn all the citizen initiatives that were passed by voters last November. Our Sanhedrin rulers will not let democracy take hold in this state.

·         Richard Harmston Thank you, Ben! This is just what you need to balance out your life.

·          Benedgar Williams Richard Harmston can I get a second opinion?

·         Merrill Crosbie Ooh, ooh! Me, me! But Richard already knows my opinion...

·         Benedgar Williams Merrill Crosbie Traitor

·         Dan Fahndrich Silver Sneakers is no longer but some rec. centers will still allow 50% to 100% for senior citizens.

·         Benedgar Williams Dan Fahndrich I am getting it free otherwise I'd stay home

·         Roland Ron Holmgren Soon body beautiful...

·         Dan Fahndrich And it isn't now ?

·          Benedgar Williams Dan Fahndrich I've withered

·         Dan Fahndrich Does it remind you of Withering Heights or of Mark Harmon ?

·          I once had thousands of men craving this body now I sleep with six hound dogs and I sleep easier now.❤

·         Deb Hall I love the gym! I’ll be your gym buddy!!

·          Benedgar Williams I can't relate to anyone who loves the gym LOL A sauna yes a gym no. Last time I went to the gym with someone who loved the gym I got sciatica...

FEBRUARY

1 February 2019 Friday

I put off my new year resolutions until February. January can be so iffy. Who knows whether you won't croak. So I girded up my loins put on a pair of gyms shoes I bought six months ago which by the way hurt my feet, and went off to the Northwest Multipurpose Community Center to do a body good... I found a little old Asian guy, probably a 100 years old, who can tell with Asians they always belie their true age, and probably weighed 100 lbs dripping wet, to follow on the weight machines. I thought I'll show him who’s the man. I was embarrassed that I had to drop the weight down two below what he was doing...nothing is lower than ten pounds I found out...after every muscle in my body was screaming at me I finished a whole set and walked a half mile on the running concourse so proud I could power walk a head of this woman with a crutch. Feeling pretty accomplished I thought let’s be daring and I went on the tread mill for another half mile to get my cardio up...there was a show off middle age heavy set Latina who thought she was cool setting her pace at 2 miles an hour...I didn't care 1.5 suited me fine...slow and steady wins the race...after sweating for about hour I was pretty proud of myself and felt pretty good. I can't wait to do this again in another month.

·         To Debbie Hall I am sorry that I couldn't find anything on this fellow in my records but in the 1960's there were no real accounts of people being Gay even in the police records as they used other terms when arrested. There were no support groups in the 1960s in Utah although San Francisco and L.A. had Mattachine Societies. People lived lives of quiet desperation in Utah or moved to bigger cities to live anonymous lives. I looked in the California death records for 1966 and his name does not appear. Sorry I could be of more help.  I will post on  my history page but it’s a long shot from 53 years ago. 

2 February 2019 Saturday

Today is the Cross Quarter Day between the Winter Solstice and the Vernal Equinox. Happy Candlemas to all my Pagan Friends and St. Bridget Day for all my Christian friends. Its suppose to rain by the way. It’s also Ground Hog’s  Day. There's a gap in a glacier in the Antarctic the size of Manhattan ready to cause a huge glacier to break off that scientist predict might raise ocean levels by 2 feet. Kowabunga. Americans get their weather predictions from a rodent and deny science’s data on global warming.  What's the definition of insanity? Doing the same thing over and over again? I went back to the gym so I must be insane. I went down to Draper to see Kyle as his visiting was from 9:30 to 11:00. The others visitors who I have come like Jenny and several others were happy to see me again because we missed each other at various times, Jenny said she was worried that Kyle got out and she wouldn’t see me anymore. I said it’s kind of sad when it has become like a reunion when we see each other so often over these many months of regular visits. We are like a little bonded family in similar circumstances. I gave Kevin Rucci and Jenny my email address as they wanted to stay in touch.  As we were all ready to go outside after proceeding through the Metal detector Officer LaBounty, who is the nice guard there comes calling me and saying I am so sorry I should let you know sooner that Kyle was out on a work detail. I was crestfallen but Officer LeBounty felt bad and called some security patrol truck to come and let me through the gates so I didn’t have to wait in the cold wind. The others felt bad for me and said they would tell their inmates to tell Kyle I had tried to come, Well at least I got to see Jenny and the others and visit with them for a little while. I came home and changed into my sweats and wet down to the gym. The basketball courts were crowded with Jr Jazz competition so it was really noisy but I stayed an hour do my work out reps. I was much sorer today than I was yesterday. At home just worked on typing up my 1991 journal. It sure brings back many good times and some really awful times. Even though it brings back memories, it’s been so long ago it’s almost like reading about an entirely different person. It seems to me that so called Liberals are sometimes the worse persecutors of human failings. People change and evolve as does society... only conservatives keep their same beliefs all their lives ...there is a reason we are called Progressive and liberal...too bad some people can't be more liberal in forgiveness... a person's life should not be defined by a single paragraph in a person's book of life...unless every chapter contains the same paragraph, very few of us have not done something they regretted and today would be considered shameful. If we progressives can't learn to forgive we will constantly be throwing rocks at each other and make the job of reactionaries easier. If someone is doing good today isn't that evidence of repentance? Why so much retribution for past ignorance? I don’t understand it... Al Franken is a perfect example of misguided retribution.

 

3 February 2019 Sunday

Rained hard in Westpointe last night...it was a down pour...woke me and the hounds several times. Today is the het’s wet dream known at the Superbowl. Well sports do keep heteros temporarily from slaughtering each other. I was born without a sports gene...can't curl my tongue into a fold either...I don’t think I am missing much. Bill Poore took me to lunch so my voice is hoarse from shouting... we went to the Other Place and we took half of our food home...I should just order a child plate... screw 'em. While Bill was visiting a Greek vet he knows from the VA I spotted someone who looked so much like Jim Hunsaker who I haven't seen in at least 20 years... at first I was hesitant but then I said hi Jim and he said hi Ben...it was really cool to reconnect with an unassuming hero who did so much in leadership positions in our community back in the late 1980s... strange how these LGSU and Youth Group folks from way back when are now middle aged and I am a Senior... he still looks the same only has a cropped beard and a little grayer lol. I made him take my phone number just to keep in touch. Some of the guards at Lone Peak Facility treat visitors coming to see loved ones if not like shit at least with indifference. I decided to go see Kyle despite Bill Poore saying I didn’t have to see him every week. I can’t expect him to understand so since the weather down at the south of valley looked clear I left the house at 5:45 to get down to Draper as his visiting time was at 6:30. I shouldn’t have bothered. I was there at 6:15 and I see people waiting but the entrance with the security truck so I hurry over there as not to make the people waiting in the cold wait on me. However the woman security check who I had never met  before kept us waiting out in the cold as others came one at a time rather than letting us through the gate so we could go inside the entrance where it was warm. When she finally decided that she had all of eight of us she opened the two gates for us to pass through. However when we all were in the holding area, where you wait until the door to the waiting area is unlocked, we saw that there was no one in the guard room to let us in so we could start giving our information for the inmates we wanted to see. It was ridiculous that we had to stand and wait without anyone to assist us. I probably was the oldest there but what if there had been more elderly people? It was 6:30 our actual visiting time before two bitch officers came and let us into the waiting room and kept imposing on our time by slowly checking our credentials on the computer. It was nearly 6:45 before we even were allowed to go through the metal detector and this one officer bitch almost didn’t let this one gal who comes up from Price go see her husband because she had a hole in the knee of  her jeans even though she had a black body stocking beneath and no skin showed. They were just being asses and rude but it’s their circus. Finally it was 6:50 and we had lost 20 of our visiting time which I knew they would not let us make up. Even then Kyle was the last to show up so it was almost seven before we actually got to visit. I know I don’t come that far but I feel sorry for those who travel hours to get here just to be treated so disrespectfully. It was an all female staff probably resentful because they had to work Superbowl Sunday.  Anyway I was simmering but no sense to boil over because as  I said it was their circus but its maddening to be treated so shabbily who are suppose to be professions. I did have a good visit even if for only an hour. Kyle said he was called out to work changing out the lights in the parking lot of the prison’s main office. He said he was up in one of those cherry picking lifts. He felt bad but said he enjoyed what he was doing. He said however that they weren’t finished so he might have to work several more Saturdays so I guess I better just plan on coming out on Sundays this month. He seemed to be in good spirits and was happy to see me even if it was to get away from the incessant breeder noise of super bowl Sunday.  So there you have it. The prison system sucks and I’m not even in it but by proxy. Oh yes, Kyle said that I couldn’t hug Craig Crawford anymore because the new rule is that you can only interact with the person you came to see. I was back at the house by 8:30 and typed more of my journal from 1991 that I have been sending to Daniel Cureton and Dillon Harker, two young Gay historians who are the next generation. I haven’t even begun to write up my presentation for this Wednesday’s lecture series. I feel like I am in a malaise.

·         Bill Poore I totally was born without sports gene, we are happy Ben you were born with cooking genes.....a Texas sissy. I am happy to know one of my friends will not be watching the Super Bowl today....I honestly don't even know who is playing.....Did the Jazz make it to the Super Bowl this year

·         Kevin Scott Gotta love Spandex!

·          Benedgar Williams I never want to know who's playing so I don’t have to feel bad for the team that lost...

 

4 February 2019 Monday

It's been extremely windy all night long, even rocking the house, my deck chimes have been jingling like crazy...when's the storm getting here so the wind will settled down?

 

5 February 2019 Tuesday

I took Coco down yesterday to be groomed and Maxx's nails cut and their computers were down so couldn't take cards but I took Lulabelle and TJ down this morning for the same and their computers were still down but I brought cash...and I was picking up Lulubelle the huge winter storm that blew in from the west broke over the valley but we are home safe and sound now...glad I went to the gym early so to avoid this mess. It cost about $140 for the grooming and nails cut and a tip. I finally finished my report for tomorrow's history lecture series on 1991. It was very hard for me to write as it was a very difficult year for me... very Dickensian...it was the best of times it was the worst of times... the Desert Storm War, the collapse of the Soviet Union... no cell phones or face book... people used to actually call one another or drop by to visit...people wrote in cursive...strange times. Actually I had a mental block writing this.

 

6 February 2019 Wednesday

I knew it was snowing last night from all the wet dogs that climbed into bed with me... my house smells like wet dog but tomorrow the house will have a good going over… The radio reported that most school districts are closed so I hope Kyle Daniels checked before trudging off...government buildings are closed until noon...I was up shoveling 5 inches of snow off the back deck for a pathway for the dogs but keeping my mop handy for the little guys who didn’t want to pee in the storm. It's still snowing and the morning lake effect will probably dump more...at least its dry snow and not wet and heavy...I have an excellent excuse to not go to the gym today...besides my exercise will be snow shoveling today., Today is Bill Poore’s 70^th birthday. Happy Birthday old man... stay home instead of going out to party like its 1999. I wanted to have him over for a birthday dinner and even put on a pot roast on but he didn’t want to go out.   It was a snow day for all the school districts as it was so wicked out this morning and many government offices were closed until noon... I did my civic duty and cleared 100 feet of sidewalks as well as my driveway...the ground is warm enough that once the top layer of snow is removed it starts to melt. I spent an hour and a half so no need to go to the gym...didn't make it to men’s sack lunch either but as long as it's not a blizzard I still planned on making it to the Pride Center for tonight's presentation on 1991 which I did. Five brave or reckless souls came out tonight to hear me speak about the founding of the Utah Stonewall Center in 1991 and the skinhead Neo Nazis trying to crash our events. I will post the talk in Documents tomorrow... I made way too many chocolate cookies lol...Connell O'Donovan agreed to continue 1991 and share his recollections of Queer Nation Utah and his involvement with U of U's antidiscrimination policy for the March meeting

 

7 February 2019 Thursday

Terry McKeown said that he read that Davis District is closing Washington Elementary. I really enjoyed my time at Washington but enrollment was declining as it was in a neighbor hood with fewer children. It doesn’t surprise me . It was an old school, Well you can’t go home again. I only went back once I all the teachers I had worked with had transferred.

 

8 February  2019 Friday

bake to warm the house up... cranberry rye bread... having a hot slice with butter while I read my Agatha Raisin Murder Mystery... it's great to be retired with three dogs in my lap... Albert Finney died at the age of 82. He will always be my favorite Scrooge.

 

9 February 2019 Saturday

Mike Romero came by to pick me up at one for us to go to Elyse Gile’s baby shower down in Daybreak. It was at the community center down there not far from where TJ and Jim live. I've known Elyse since 1997 when the Giles moved next door to Mike and me. Elyse was in 4th grade then and their other daughter Kayla was a toddler...now they are grown women...they thought of Mike and I as their Gay Uncles. Elyse showed a slide show of the process it took for her to become pregnant through a donor. She really wanted to have this baby for all the pain and shots she had to endure and the costs. She wanted to be a single mom but Randy and Kimberlee will be there every step of the way. We didn’t stay long about an hour and half just enough to say hi and deliver a gift of a $100 in cash. Norma Chaffin and Sarah were there for the shower also. After we left we went to Chubby’s where I had a cheese enchilada but only managed to eat the taco. I took the enchilada home. I didn’t get to go down to see Kyle today because his visiting time was the same as Elyse’s baby shower. I am not sure if I will make it down tomorrow either as a storm is heading our way and I am so tired and sleepy.

 

10 February 2019 Sunday

The sky was cloudy but clear this morning but I decided to listen to Bill Poore and not go down to see Kyle this morning. His visiting time was at 7:45 and I knew that the weather was suppose to be iffy and I didn’t want to be tired for the theater which was at 1 in the afternoon. So I just finished typing up my 1991 journal all the way through December so I am done with that project except some correction of typing errors and grammar. However about ten Alan called and said that he had goofed. He had bought additional two tickets for Kyle Daniels parents for Christmas and inadvertently they were for a six o’clock performance. He asked if I minded going at six with him and let Kyle go with his parents at one? Who was I to mind? The five tickets Alan bought were at least $500 all together. So I just tried to relax and nap. However the weather report said that the storm that blanketed Seattle with snow was heading this way by early evening and it did. Alan came by at five to pick me up and by the time we got downtown it was already snowing. Wicked one of Alan’s all time favorite Musicals. I never saw it before and the sets and Costumes and singing were fantastic but to be honest I don’t know what all the fuss is about. When the show let out it was a light blizzard with about 2 and half inches of snow downtown...poor Alan has to drive all the way back to Midvale but he's driving a Lincoln so should be okay...

·         Doug Murri How wonderful! I love Wicked. The story of what we may view as good and what we may view as evil, may actually be the opposite, is a wonderful premise for a show. I wish I could have seen this cast. Jackie Burns is an incredible Elphaba. She's played the role longer than anyone else. She understudied Idina Menzel in both Wicked and If/Then before taking over both roles. Jason Graae is a fabulous Wizard. I've been a fan of Jason's for 30+ years. I saw him first in the cabaret review 'Forbidden Hollywood'. He was hilarious and very memorable. Then we saw him playing Houdini in 'Ragtime'. Then a few years ago, he and Faith Prince did a cabaret show together in Las Vegas. A great show. And we got to meet and chat with both of them after the show. Glad you enjoyed the show.

·         Curtis Jensen read the book.

·          Benedgar Williams Curtis Jensen hated the book... just couldn't get into it...

·         Alan Anderson Read about half of the book. It was awful. Couldn't finish

·         Erick Myers Read the whole book. The musical is better, the story more to the point and the music singable.

·         Stephanie Steph Williams Loved that play. Puts a new perspective of the wizard of oz.

 

11 February 2019 Monday

I looked out this morning and there was still some snow on the ground so I went out and used the snow blower but as warm as it was getting I knew it would all be cleared off the sidewalks by noon anyway. It turned out to be a really gorgeous day, blue skies and snow sugar frosting everything.I worked on getting the Kristen Ries information finished this morning to bring down to Robert Moolman as I said I would do. I guess in March they are having a relaunch of SAGE event so they wanted the pictures and info done that in early March. It was fun visiting with Robert and he asked how I liked WICKED and I had to preface by saying everything was great except the lyrics and music because I like musicals you can sing the words and hum them later.  I turned in a request to be repaid the $30 I put out for Rich Kane who videotaped Luci Malin’s talk last month.  He’s got a new gig in Palm Springs so he’s moving back to California. I didn’t know him very well but I liked him and he did several good articles on the Gay Community. Afterwards I went grocery shopping to make supper for the dogs but don’t know why I bothered as they didn’t feel like eating much of it. Spoiled things. I had to wash both Harleigh and Buddy’s butts as they were dirty…I suppose from not going very well in the snow. Poor Buddy’s polyps on his butt was infected so had to clean really good and put some more medicine on them, They were an angry red.  Not sure how long Buddy will be in this world. He already out lived his sister by two years. I picked up two more Agatha Raisin books from the library and just read for much the evening before going to bed on the couch with Buster, TJ, and Lulubelle.

 

12 February 2019 Tuesday

I went to the gym today as I hadn't over the weekend...I need to go earlier than just before noon as the muscle bound like to take over all the machines lol I finished typing up my hand written Journal from 1991. It ended being 268 pages and took me a little more than three weeks to edit and correct my typing... main thing I noticed from 1991 was that I was having way more sex than now...but I bake more now... I made some raisin and molasses Rye bread filled with sunflower seeds that just came out of the oven. Who said man can't live by bread alone? He was right you need butter.  This evening I decided to go to the Tuesday Night Men’s Support group. I really don’t get much out of it but Dwright Wood goes and I like him so I give to be sociable more than for support.  Today is my ex wife’s 74^th birthday. Wow.

 

13 February 2019 Wednesday

I didn’t go to the gym today because I went to the Pride Center where I had a great time with the old coots at the Gay Men noon sack lunch. It’s nice to be around guys who have fun and don’t take anything too seriously...It was good to see TJ and Jim who I hadn’t seen for a while. I took Bill Poore to the sack lunch and afterwards we pick up his jalopy afterwards that he had work done on it. It’s been cold and damp all day, even misting some. I had had to go to Costco to buy Kirkland brand dog biscuits... they all like them especially Coco...The wind is kicking up right now. Tomorrow is Being Single Appreciation Day so buy yourself some chocolate...and eat them all yourself

 

14 February 2019 Thursday

I got up and made a batch of oatmeal chocolate chip cookies at six this morning. I can't be the only one who does that. It’s oatmeal and eggs so I figured it's got to be as good as a granola bar for breakfast. Then I went to the gym this morning and hardly anyone was there. They must have been out buying flowers for emotional blackmail day we call Valentine’s Day because at Smiths, where I went to buy some treats for the pups, the place was swamped with young guys buying flowers and teddy bears instead of the usually 12 pack of beer... “It’s buy me flowers from the grocery store or no nookie for you tonight...”

 

15 February 2019 Friday

After having reached 50 degrees and melting all the old snow, right now this evening it’s snowing again... There's about 2 inches of snow on my deck and a bunch of wet dogs who insists on cuddling up to me...I think mother nature is schizophrenic. I made some more artisan bread today, honey, cranberries, sunflower kernels, and sesame seeds. So yummy.  The dogs are really tired of meatloaf so fed them chicken gizzards for their supper tonight.

 

16 February 2019 Saturday

I’ve worked on typing up my 1989 journal for much of the day as well read from Agatha Raisin. I had to shovel the snow off the back porch but all the snow of the front sidewalks and driveway had already melted because of the warmth we had yesterday.  I made a crock pot of bean and ham soup. I went down to Draper to see Kyle Foote this evening because the weather looked good even though his visiting time was 6:30 to 8:00. Jenny and Kevin were there also and it is always good to see them. I am glad I came to see Kyle because he had a bad week as that someone he worked with was fired and is blaming Kyle for it and making his life miserable. I think he needed a friend to talk to as he was also tired of Craig Crawford’s negativity and materialism. They had a tiff but they are okay now but Kyle is just going through the motions of being friends with him. Not much of a selection of people to hang out with in prison. So I think he just needed a friendly face and to be with someone who loves him.

 

17 February 2019 Sunday

I was elected chair or spokesperson for the Utah Queer Historical Society this afternoon at a business meeting at the Utah Stonewall Center. I said I would serve for a six month term.  It was a very productive business meeting with a partial board put in place and Terry Gilman agreed to be secretary.  He took extensive minutes and we covered all items on the agenda.  Our next business meeting will be March 20th Sunday at 1:00.It seemed that the 3rd Sunday in the month at 1:00 seems to be the best time for a group meeting.  What we do now will lay the foundation for a successful historical society for years to come. I contacted Daniel Cureton who accepted being chair of the Archives Committee and I checked on Rich Kane who said he probably will be able to video tape. Carol Gnade said she is bringing in Kate Kendall to speak April 24^th about legal Issues from the 1990’s. Connell has this grandiose scheme for the Pride Day March in June. I doubt if he can pull it off. He wants some money from our funds but I said get us an estimation first. Daniel Cureton said he will Chair of Archival Material collects and maintains historical records, documents &liaison to the Marriott Library U/U.

Connell O’Donovan said he will be Chair of Speaker Bureau- Schedules Monthly Oratory presenter & contact persons for speakers. We still need a Chair of Workshops Committee- organize writing symposiums and historical oral history techniques, Chair of the Social Media Web committee to maintain any media outlets. Jonie Weiss wanted to be on the committee but not the chair. Roy Zhang said he would be Chair Collections: organize a rotating display of artifacts. Randy Hoffman is Chair of Landmarks Committee: designate location of significant historical events and liaison to governmental agencies to mark said locations. Chris Wharton said he’d like to be on that committee too. We need a chair to Gather oral and video histories of significant LGBTQ personages.

 

18 February 2019 Monday

I didn’t do a blasted thing today except work on typing up my 1989 journal for the month of June. I guess I did go out to the gym at the Northwest Community Center and grocery shopping for chicken gizzards for the hounds but it’s been cold today in the low thirties. Because it’s President’s Day no mail and school for the kiddies it’s been a light traffic day. I wish we had a real President instead of one who declares a national emergency and then goes off golfing. Rocky O’Donovan agreed to do the March Utah Stonewall Lecture Series so I am off the hook for that one.  I did a load of wash today but the house needs a thorough cleaning for sure.

 

19 February 2019 Tuesday

It’s a cold 25 degrees outside … what happened to our 40 and 50 degree weather? I even wore a coat within the house because of the cold air blasting through the doggie door. I typed all day on July 1989. It’s hard to think that it was 30 years ago and at the time I was writing in my journal Stonewall was only 20 years prior. I was going to take Bill Poore to the Tuesday Men’s group but he didn’t want to go and it’s too damn cold so I didn’t either.

 

20 February 2019 Wednesday

I said I’d take Bill Poore to the Gay Men’s Noon Sack Lunch and I did. His hearing AIDS are being fixed at the VA so he didn’t hear much at the meeting but I am glad we went.

            The Center is having people sign in now when they come into the building for “security reasons.” I think it’s more of a marketing ploy to see how many people visit the center and for demographic reason because they want you to but down the year you were born also, which would have nothing to do with security. If they were serious they would install security cameras.

The person who is the front desk reception is a trans person named Kaden. When Bill referred to the Trans as “her”, because Kaden dresses like a woman, Kaden said that “she” preferred the pronoun “They and them.”  Well that set Bill off lol. 

After the lunch get together, because Bill and I didn’t bring anything to eat, I asked him if he wanted to go out to lunch which he did so we went to our old standby Charlie Chows.

            Since Rich Butler said he wanted to come over tomorrow I started to really clean the place since it’s been neglected for a while as I have been typing or going to meetings. I cleaned the bathroom really well and mopped and vacuumed the front room. I wonder how long that will last?

            Terry Gilman had asked me to bring cookies to his men’s discussion group so I made some pecan cookies from a white cake mix. Cake Mix cookies are so easy, just 2 eggs and ½ cup of oil; also an additional third cup of flour so they are chewier.

            When I went back down to the Center I signed in as Walt Whitman born 1847. They don’t even ask for ID so how crazy is that and when we get 60 people coming to an event how long will it take for people to sign in? Anyway there was a poor showing at the Men’s group with just six of us but since I knew everyone of them but one for at least thirty to twenty-five years we just really amused ourselves and talked about anything that came to mind. Terry Gilman tried to lead but we got him off topic so much. His co director Ricky Suarez was about the only one I didn’t have long time history with. The other three were Courtney Moser, Dan Fahndrich, and Stan Rovig.

 

21 February 2019 Thursday

I ordered a tee shirt from my high school’s 50th Class Reunion but mainly because it says 1969 in large numbers on the front, the year of Stonewall, the Moon landing, and Woodstock . I am not going but I wanted a tee shirt. Our school colors were green and gold and I still wear my class ring and I have my Senior Year book. I have no fond memories of High School except for John Cunningham, as I tried to be invisible so I wouldn't be noticed that I was different from the other guys. I was not into sports, cars, or girls. I didn't know I was a Swan instead of an ugly duckling until I went off to college of which my school counselor strongly suggested I would be wasting my time and that I should just join the armed services before I get drafted... Fifty Years ago and the music is still better from the 1960s lol.

            Rich Butler came over about ten this morning and stayed four hours. I made some mini loafs of banana nut bread this morning and gave him two of them. He came over to screw my pantry cabinet into the wall so it doesn’t move and to take measurements for the window seat he wants to build me for the bay window in the front room. He thinks just one sheet of plywood to go over the frame should do it. I gave him $40 to buy the materials. I also committed to watching Miley and Sophie at the end of March when He goes back down to Arizona to retrieve the remainder of his friends’ processions he left in storage there. Bless Rich’s heart but four hours of his talking about people I don’t know and family issues is a lot because it ties my day up. I feel like I am babysitting him LOL but he needs someone to be a listening ear for him and I think sometimes to get away from his wife Brenda now that she’s not working anymore. He has a good heart and has always been good to me so it’s the least I can do.

·         To Doug Wortham: Daniel Cureton is the chair of the Archives Committee who is our contact person with the archives at the Marriott Library. He used to be the library and archivist of the Pride Center when it was on 4th South. He's worked extensively with the folks up there. Please contact him about your collection. He's very professional and will take proper care of it. Some of it may go to the chair of collections that we want to display at the center especially physical artifacts.  Roy Zhang is the chair of the Collections committee. You may want to contact him also. Roy was once a member of Queer Nation and you may know him as he was the youngest member of Queer Nation back then.

 

 

22 February 2019 Friday

In the Summer of 1972 when I was 21, Kent Larson, my Gay Mormon friend from Cypress College, got me a job at a YMCA summer camp, in Big Bear, called Camp Oakes.  

Kent was the arts and crafts director and I was a camp counselor for "long term" kids. I was in charge of 8 boys, ages 8 to 11 years old, who were according to my journal "all hellions." I wrote they were driving me crazy and "I felt like a punching bag."

The long termers were at the camp for the entire summer, most of them abandoned by wealthy parents who shipped them off to boarding school and then off to summer camp. There were about 24 long termers all together mixed in with about 100 or so week long or weekend campers.

This one 11 year old named John Williams was a little tough guy, smoking behind the cabins and who tried to make the counselor's lives miserable. The kids gave all the counselors nicknames hoping to piss them off. John tried to goad me by calling me "Benji-booboo." Instead of making me mad I thought it was hilarious.

When I came down off the mountain at the end of the summer to attend my last year at Cal State Fullerton I adopted the name "Ben" which no one ever knew me as before. I was no longer Edgar Williams I was now Ben Williams and have been known by that name for the last 47 years although it’s never been my legal name.

From that experience I knew I wanted to be a teacher and as I was a two month old Mormon, I wanted to move to Utah because all the Gay college kids I knew in California were Mormons and Utah seemed a place where I could create a life and have a new adventure among others like me. I was misinformed.

I didn’t do much except type and finished up my 1989 journal to end off to Daniel Cureton and Dillon Hawkens.  I was worried about not having a good picture of LaDonna Moore and saw that her practice was in a house at 2100 South and 5^th East but when I went out there the place was closed. I’ve done as much as I can so I hope Angie Salot can find a good picture of her for the Kristen Ries Award Wall at the Center. I also went to Wal-Mart and bought another pair of sweat pants for the gym which I haven’t gone to since Monday. I also bought some new bathroom rugs to spruce up the bathroom. While out I stopped at the Wine Liquor Store on 3^rd West and bought some white wine for cooking in my soups.

 

23 February 2019 Saturday

I went down to the Lone Peak section of the prison this morning to visit with Kyle Foote. His visiting time was 7:45 until 9:15. I wanted to go today because I figured that his time on Sunday was at 1:00 and I am sure it will be busy. There was only about six of us visiting this early so it was fine. I think Kyle was surprised to see me as he thought I’d probably come tomorrow. He said things had calmed down with him at that Reno character that he had worked with that blamed him for being fired. There wasn’t anything especially new, I just wanted to see him since this is the last visiting weekend for the month of February.

I wasn’t planning to do much today but then Jim Dabakis asked me out to see a Plan B production of “An Evening with Two Awful Men”.  I got to go because his husband Steve Jutensen had just returned from Bali and was too tired to go out. lol. Can you imagine coming back to this weather from Bali?  When Jim came over to the house he said he forgot his tickets so we had to race back to his place on B Street to retrieve them...so it was kind of hectic but all's well that ends well.

The play was about President James Buchanan and John Wilkes Booth trying to redeem their images. I like the first half but the last half became a little too preachy. The character of John Wilkes Booth kind of was a metaphor for the White Nationalist movement in the United States today and James Buchanan was portrayed somewhat as an effectual liberal do gooder. I don’t think Jim cared for it much at all his self. Jim has a part in Pioneer Theaters La Cage Aux Follies that I bought tickets for back in September last year. I am going to a matinee on March 16^th. It might be my only chance to see Jim in drag lol.

 

24 February 2019 Sunday

I spent all day going through my journals and typing although I did decide to actually clean my bedroom that I don’t use much now that I sleep on the couch. I did several loads of laundry, vacuumed really well and threw out all these electrical computer and vcr cables I ha stuff in a drawer. I will never use them and not even certain that they can be used anymore.  I made split pea soup for dinner.

 

25 February 2019 Monday

I don’t know what is up with the pups but they let me sleep in until 630 without any barking or growling...they were all fast asleep ... they have been like that almost all day...very unusual... it's so windy out that even though its suppose to be the 40s it is brisk outside...too cold to go out so I stayed home and made some hearty peasant bread with white and rye flour , sunflower kernels,, chia seeds, and sesame seeds... now for some butter and apricot jam... you can keep your caviar and champagne. However the chia seeds that I had for probably a good year tasted rancid so I main some cinnamon and cranberry bread instead. I will give the peasant bread to the squirrels who should love all the seeds inside the bread.

 

26 February 2019 Tuesday

I spent some of the day contacting people about tomorrow’s Historical Society Oratory. I know that Connell O’Donovan and Becky Moss won’t lift a finger to remind people.

 

27 February 2019 Wednesday

Crazy weather today for sure. When I went to the Gay men's Sack lunch at noon it was rainy but by three it had stopped and blue skies are out and the air, fresh and clean. The weather kept all but about seven of us away at lunch.

While at the center, Robert Moolman showed me the wall along the stairs that hold portraits of Dr. Kristen Ries Award recipients. Angie Salot did a wonder job having the pictures framed. So professional.

Tonight is our 2nd Utah Queer Historical Society Oratory with Kevin Clair Hillman speaking. He is always an interesting speaker. I finished making 24 dark chocolate cookies and 24 Sandy Pecan cookies. So my duty is done.

A reminder that tonight is the Utah Queer Historical Society's Guest Speaker series. Kevin Clair Hillman is scheduled to speak and we will be meeting at 6:30 downstairs in the Pride Center. As they now require people entering the Pride Center to sign at the front reception area you might want to come a little bit before that/ See you there

The Utah Pride Center has a new exhibit of past Kristen Ries Community Service Award recipients. Its located on the stairs leading to the second floor. We need to thank and support the center for believing that preserving our history is important.

I am so pissed with Becky Moss and her putting people on the spot like it's a popularity contest. That was so unprofessional of her and I told her never do that again... a decision who will speak at these monthly meetings should be given consideration and especially why the person should be considered... I was also extremely disappointed in her comments about Chuck Whyte...Becky is more of an entertainer than a historian...if she is going to be on your committee make sure she understands it's a working committee and she needs to do more than stand around and come 15 minutes before the meeting... someone needs to be a contact person with Rich Kane. I fronted $30 again for his service...are there going to refreshments ... arrange the meeting room...make FB Events contact Mike Aaron... if Becky is not willing to help you I'd have reservations of her being on your committee. I worked with Becky for 7 years on KRCL...and she never saved one of the many interviews we did as the producer...

I was also pissed at Craig Millers husband cornering me saying we need to get Craig as a speaker...I've known  Craig for 30 years and he's not the Gay activist and community builder that many others were...I know I am prejudice against Craig for being a liar when he was director of the Stonewall Center but if he was an outstanding character I would just shut my mouth...but this guy kept promoting Craig saying how important he was for the community like I didn't know a thing or too...I said has Craig ever tried to write down his contributions and he said he couldn't get him to do it...then he said he'd write us a check if we would have Craig speak...I was highly offended and said we don’t want your money...I will quit before money bags start dictating who we recognize as people significant to this community...

·         Courtney Moser Tonight I attended the Utah Queer Historical Society Oratory at the Utah Pride Center. I was so moved and honored to see that both Kelly and My photos are on the wall with the other Dr. Kristen Ries Community Service Award recipients. Thank you Benedgar Williams for putting this together and Pride Center staff for its dignified execution.

 

28 February 2019 Thursday

All that is in the news is Michael Cohen’s testifying before Congress about what a criminal Donald Trump is and how the despicable Republicans say you can’t trust a liar but the defend Trump. Crazy times. I hate to see this happening to Guerneville, California with all the flooding there. I went there several times for the Lazy Bear Retreat and stayed at the Willows right on the Russian River. It was a beautiful little community and had a lot of good memories there...

So here is the end of February. In three weeks it will be Spring. The weather in February has been like a yo-yo up and down. It’s been really windy for the past couple of weeks so even when it warms up it’s still brisk out. So far I haven’t been sick. 

The pups for some reason decided that the back veranda is a nice place to go poop. I think Buddy started it as he has such a hard time with the stairs and his system is weak but I think all the others have joined in now rather than going downstairs to the yard. So I am a pooper scooper trouper.  I pretty much abandoned my bedroom to sleep on the couch now because the dogs have a hard time with the captain bed height and they scratch and bark to be let up and down so it’s easier to sleep on the couch.

I’ve been typing up my handwritten journals for Daniel Cureton. It’s tedious but it’s like I am reading about someone else because they were written so long ago by someone I am not today.

 

MARCH

1 March 2019 Friday

My pups constantly remind me that nothing I do is so important that I can't stop and give them some hugs and some attention. I invited Alan Anderson to go with me to La Cage Aux Folles on March 16^th. I guess I won’t have to babysit Corky and Bhanie until April 20^th.

Harleigh went to the beauty parlor today...he's not happy with me for abandoning him for 3 hours. With the $5 tip it cost $61 to have him groomed at the Dog Park.

            It was such a nice day out so I also took my PT Cruiser down to the self car wash and got all the winter grime off of it finally. The wind, about 2 weeks, ago snapped the flag pole mount on the back of the house and since it was so nice out today I decided I am butch enough to replace it. After two trips to Sutherlands, a stripped screw head and a bunch of cussing I finally got my rainbow flag flying again. It only took an hour as well. LOL. I finished reading my 25^th Agatha Raisin novel tonight.

In the news, trump ordered his chief of staff to grant his son-in-law Jared Kushner, a top-secret security clearance last year, overruling concerns by intelligence officials and the White House’s top lawyer.  The Hanoi summit with Kim Jong Un, ended in failure with no joint agreement. Trump is so out of his league and people are outraged that he said he believes Un who said he had nothing to do with the death of that young man who was arrested in North Korea for stealing a propaganda poster and died while in a coma.

 

2 March 2019 Saturday

I woke up with upset painful stomach at 4 this morning. I ate a banana and tried to go back to sleep but at 5 just decided to get up rather than just lay there. The dogs, however, are sound asleep. It was really gloomy all day and I decided not to go down to see Kyle because of the weather. I didn’t want to stand out in the cold as the guards down there often aren’t very quick to let us inside out of the elements.

 I was really tired and sleepy for much of the day and just tried to catch up on my sleep. My stomach was still achy, not like from a stomach flu but something to do with my surgery.  Roger Salazar who wrote Know Man Knows My Pastry under the name Enid Christensen died last February from complications from his bariatric surgery.

Bob Waldrop said that he has stage three cancer so I am sure he won’t be alive much longer but I think he found peace as a lay pastor in the Catholic Church down in Oklahoma City.

            Chuck Whyte had asked for a ride to the Re-launch SAGE event at the Pride Center and for the ceremonial dedication of the Kristen Ries and Maggie Snyder Staircase that has the pictures of all former recipients on the wall. I said I’d pick him up at 5:30 because I wanted to get there early so we would have a parking space as it started to snow.

            The place had a Gold and Black theme very festive and elegant. Chuck wanted to meet Robert Moolman so I introduced him and then showed him the stairwell before it got excessively busy. I was really tired from lack of sleep but still it was good to be out to see so many of my friends, new and old. All the mucky muck where out to be seen, like Beeno Solomon but the only one that was not pretentious was Jim Dabakis and that is why I admire him so much. 

TJ and Jim came and we sat and visited while the place filled up with people. It was good to see Dave Omer with a new beau. I also saw Dennis Lee and I asked about Kent Scadlock. He said he doesn’t see him much anymore and he is right now back in Seattle so I guess that chapter is closed.

The buffet was upstairs, so I went up twice to get Chuck a plate because I knew he would want to eat something and standing using a cane to lean on would make it very difficult for him. They had a nice buffet with champagne, although I didn't eat or imbibe. Some Lesbians seem to enjoy piling up their plates like it was the only meal they are eating for a week. Poor things. I see this so often at any community pot luck or dinner. While I was in the buffet line to get Chuck a plate, Michael Fordham, who is on the Board of Directors, complemented me on the article that Michael Aaron posted on Face Book of a column I had written about the BYU police force. That was thoughtful of him.

            At one point Chuck comes up stairs and we are at a table standing with Dr. Kristin Ries. She showed me the original letter that Donnie Eastepp wrote her asking her if she would attend Pride Day back in 1987 to receive an award at Sunnyside Park for her AIDs efforts. She is giving the letter to the Pride Center. We had a good talk about the love of animals and I kissed her forehead and said I loved you and she said I love you too.

            Craig Miller and his partner Ernie Hale were near us the whole time and I just snubbed them. I don’t have any animosity towards them but I have no use for them either and I’m not going to act all chummy either. Elephants and historians never forget.

 I was surprised to see Debbie Rosenberg who just decided to drop by coming home from her work. It was so good to see her and just hugged her for a long time while Robert Moolman gave his welcoming speech. I don’t know why it is that some Gay people have to continue to talk loud and laugh not paying any attention to people speaking. Drunk I guess. My mother raised me better than that. Dale Sheld was near me and hollered at them at one point to shut up but of course they could not care less how inconsiderate they were being.

            I stood behind Chuck Whyte and watched Kristen Ries cut a ceremonial ribbon at the top of the stairs to open the Kristen Ries Award Recipient Stairwell. There was no mention of all my work in finding the pictures and writing up a blurb for each recipient. But hey that's what I do, watch and observe behind the scenes just grateful for my part in making the wall of recognition happen. No one remembers who built the cathedrals. It’s results not recognition that counts.

            After that Greg Harden, dressed as Tracey Aviary, came out and lip synced Petulia Clark’s Downtown. Debbie, who was beside me, was singing along rocking it. The place was packed and it was fun to see old familiar. In some ways it was like a family reunion.

I didn’t see Becky Moss, Michael Aaron, or Courtney Moser there however but I did see Charles Bigo and Richard Harmston, and Jesse Dolce and a lot of familiar faces from the old Gay Men Aloud. I did not see Charles Frost although he was mentioned by Robert Moolman for his part in keeping SAGE going.

            I was getting really tired and was not going to stay for the dance downstairs in the Queer Ancestry Room and asked Chuck if he was ready to leave. While it was lightly snowing when I had left the house, it was snowing heavier throughout the evening. It was a nice evening but even nicer to be home with TJ the pup in my lap.  As I had finished reading my Agatha Raisin novel and had nothing else to do I went to bed on the couch snuggled in with my furry family.

I think SAGE was “relaunched” in the sense of a renewed dedication to serving the senior members of the Gay and Trans communities with programs and activities geared as much to Seniors as to the Youth. I think they have recognized an underserved demographic while not entirely neglected not adequately recognized as the largest demographic in LGBT communities. Deb Hall is hired to address the needs of that population and she will be the right fit for that position. She has the knowledge and drive but more importantly I think love for the people she serves.

It will always be my greatest honor to be a recipient of an award named for Dr. Kristin Ries. She and Maggie Snyder deserve all the accolades they receive. However my deeper feeling for Dr. Ries is on a more personal level as that she embodies a physical connection with all the hundreds of people we loved and lost during the AIDS epidemic. When I am with her, I feel I am near them.

She and Maggie were often the last people to show love and compassion to our loved ones as they were dying and who were often shunned by their own families. While people dying of AIDS were being vilified for having a disease, Kristin and Maggie and the Sisters of Holy Cross were holding their hands.

Kristen Ries and Maggie Snyder hold the collective memory of our dear friends from that distant time. When I am with Maggie and Kristen I think I am near someone who cared for David Sharpton and so many others I loved and knew, too many to mention here.

When Utah lacked the humanity to care for the sick and dying God sent us Kristen. This I do believe.

 

3 March 2019 Sunday

I woke surprised to see so much snow on the ground about 3 inches but as it’s suppose to warm up into the 40’s hopefully most of it will melt. The pups let me sleep in until 6 this morning which was nice.  Richard Butler said out in West Valley they got 5 to 6 inches of snow and their power was going on and off all night. At 8:30 this morning it was still snowing. At one point I will need to go out and get some food for the dogs.

            By the afternoon, well really about 2:30 all the snow had melted. Kind of a change from this morning. I just lounged around for most of the day until about 5:30 I got ready to go down to Draper to see Kyle. I knew the roads would be clear and while it was chilly it was not freezing out. Actually it was the nicest experience the way we was treated by the guards there especially one named Luke. None of us kept us waiting out in the cold, opened the doors and processed us quickly. Jenny Adair was visiting this evening as well as Kevin Ricci. There was a small group but large enough for Jenny and I to have to double up at a table.

            Kyle was happy to see me and he said it was good I didn’t come yesterday as that he worked and even worked some this morning. He said he’s glad for the work because it gets him away from being inside the prison. He said he had an accident yesterday while they were sent out to change the lights in lampposts in the parking lot. They use these bucket tractors that tree trimmers use and when he was standing on one about 6 feet off the ground, he slipped and fell where he landed on his side on a curb. It knocked the wind out of him so he couldn’t breathe. The guards were worried that he had seriously injured himself but Kyle thinks, except for being extremely sore and painful on that side of his body, he said he was okay. He was happy and smiling the whole time he told me about his mishap but still I hope he didn’t do some internal damage.

            I told him what I had been up to and he said he still only interacts with Craig Crawford to be cordial but he’s completely done with his materialism as that all he comments on is people and things and never ideas. I doubt if Kevin and I will ever interact act outside of prison visitations. He still stays clear of this Reno guy with whom Kyle used to be on a work crew together. He still blames Kyle for losing his job instead of him just being a belligerent idiot and he refers to Kyle as the Fag.

            I was home about 9 after stopping at the Rose Park Smith’s to get some gizzards for the pup. I don’t shop nearly as much at Smith’s as I used to with all the changes they have done and none of them are for the better.  They only have one cashier open forcing you to do the self check out and they stock during the day so the aisles are always crowded.

 

4 March 2019 Monday

It was a very gloomy and overcast day. Only thing I did to get out of the house was go to the library but the Agatha Raisin book I ordered hadn’t come in yet which surprised me because I ordered it last Friday. I really wanted to read instead of typing up my 1992 journal so I checked out two books, one was another Cozy Murder Mystery but the other was a historical fiction called At the Wolf’s Table by an Italian writer named Rosella Postorino. It’s based on a true account of 10 women who were forced to be food tasters for Hitler’s meals while he resided in 1943 and 1944 at the compound in East Germany called the Wolf’s Lair. It was translated into English. It was really interesting but at times kind of difficult to follow. The other book is Murder at the Mall. 

            My stomach is still a little troublesome. I made some cream of spinach soup today but I used to much spinach and while it was all right it was very green and I could taste the chlorophyll.

 

5 March 2019 Tuesday

Rich Butler wanted come over this morning to make a template for the window sill seat he going to build for my pups..He bought some cheap strips of wood and cut them to make a rhombus shape to fit into the bay window. I never thought I would used the word rhombus outside of the class room again ha!  He also took off some of my baseboards to make them fit properly. He came over about 10 and at 12:30 I took him out to lunch at Chubby’s for doing this for me. I also gave him a $100 to but materials. He’s going to construct it at home and then finish it up over here.

            Because Rich was coming over it gave me the incentive to mop and vacuum and do some laundry. It wasn’t as scummy as last time but the floors needed it. At Chubby’s, it was interesting that they had a new debit/credit card reader that let you decide a 10, 15, or 20 percent tip to but on your bill for the waitress. I did the 20 percent and it was actually a lot less than what I was going to tip so I have been over tipping.

            I made some French Onion Soup today but didn’t eat any as I had an enchilada left over from lunch and had that for supper. I paid for a year subscription the Criterion Movie Channel that is replacing somewhat ThunderStruck films that went away last November.  I watched, on Hulu, Bob’s Burgers and the Simpsons and fell asleep until 9:30. I decided I better get up and make a bed on the couch and then made some bread so it can rise over night.

            I was not sleepy at that point so I curled up in the lazy boy with TJ in my lap with a quilt over us and read At the Wolf’s Table. I stayed up until 1:30 in the morning and finished reading the 275 pages. I read the book in just two days.

            Bernie Sanders said he’s going to run again for President as a Democrat and for his Senate Seat as an Independent. I don’t trust this man. The Democratic Party has stood by the working class, minorities and the Gay communities...what have independents done for us? It's so selfless of Bernie to change his party affiliation to take advantage of all the power and perks of an organization he says he despises just to further his own political ambitions.

            Hillary Clinton said she’s not running again and while I still admire her, it’s probably for the best at her age.

Utah’s Hate Crime legislation passes the Utah Senate 18 to 11 and now goes to the House for a vote. The first time the Bill was introduced it was 1992. The anti-Conversion Therapy bill was so modified to make it worthless and it was dropped.

 

6 March 2019 Wednesday

I went over to pick Bill Poore up to go to the Gay Men’s Sack Lunch. He still doesn’t have his hearing aids back from the VA so everything is shouting. I had a nice time with the group but Bill got his nose out of joint and said he’s not coming back because no one talks to him.  Well part of that is that no one really knows him because he comes so infrequently and then he doesn’t hear half of what is being said. While there I dropped off two posters from 1988 Pride Day to Robert Moolman and turned in a form to get reimbursed for the $30 I gave Rich Kane for videotaping Kevin Hillman a week ago.

            After leaving the Pride Center, Bill and I went to Charlie Chows, the usual place. He was aggravating me about Kyle being upset with being called Fag. It was misty and kind of rainy this afternoon. When I took him home I went back to the Pride Center to see if these guys from New York still wanted to interview me but after waiting around a while they were still busy so I just went home to make some cookies for tonight’s Historical Society Meeting.

            It’s been rainy off and on so after taking Coco home and feeding gizzards to the pups I went back down to the Pride Center at 5:30 to make sure I had covered parking and to see if I needed to interviewed but they were still busy. I met one of the cute interviewers later when they were packing up and while he lives in New York City now he was originally from Alabama. I offered him a cookie and told him the recipe. Southern queers it’s all about hospitality.

We had a very informative presentation on Queer Nation and the first anti discrimination ordinance mentioning sexual orientation in the state of Utah last night. Connell O'Donovan brought artifacts from his Queer Nation collection to share which was fun to see.

After the meeting Liz Pitts wanted to meet with Connell, Randy Hoffman, and I about Ancestry.Com wanting to sponsor the Queer Historical Society because when they took a corporate tour of the Pride Center they were impressed with the Queer Ancestry Wall that Rocky had envisioned. Liz wanted some type of approval from us to go ahead and seek out an arrangement with the folks at Ancestry.com as that three of the Board Members agreed to pursue it.

 

7 March 2019 Thursday

I looked in the closet this dark morning and saw that Coco had stolen Busters safe space...those two just like to aggravate each other, always have since I brought Buster home... she has the whole house but has to take Busters bed. Dogs can be brats.

            I am spending money about $140 on the window sill so the dogs can have a better view of the world...let the barking begin...lol I've always said I live in a dog house...it’s built for their enjoyment

            Rich Butler came over and installed the base of my window seat and then we went out and bought fabric and foam to upholster the top. It was rainy most of the day but luckily while we were out running around there was a break. We also went to Home Depot to buy a sheet of plywood for the top. It took much of the afternoon cutting the three sections to fit on top. Rich then took them home to upholster.

            I stained the front part of the window set and put a polyurethane coat on it for accidents...with six pups there's always an accident... rainy day project but cleared up nicely in the late afternoon.

            Rich sent a picture in the evening that he had the upholstery done for the top of the window seat. It’s a heavy duty fabric with texture and color to match my pups especially Max who will mostly likely use it the most and sheds but if Buster uses it then it will match him too...Maxx loves his window to the world ...

·         To Jordan It was fun to meet you too and hope you got to enjoy a little bit of Utah... thank you for collecting these stories especially in the hinterlands lol... Utah is unique because we are in the lion’s den with the Mormon Vatican here and with them having a global reach...what we do he can have far reaching consequences by changing hearts and minds here... I have been an activist here and a school teacher for 35 years and have known all the players great and small. I have a blog This Day in Gay Utah History you can Google search it that I posted our local history, as well as I have written a monthly history column called Lambda Lore for the Magazine QSalt Lake... I have a historical society called Utah Stonewall Historical Society where I do a monthly chronology of Utah History through the years. I was recognized by the state of Utah for preserving the LGBT history in Utah. I am one of the last amateurs as I have never taken a dime for any of my activism lol best of luck in all your endeavors Sincerely Ben Williams...  PS Utah is great year round but I think you might enjoy June or October

 

8 March 2019 Friday

The Rain turned to snow in the late afternoon with big flakes coming down onto the valley floor, so it was napping weather

            This morning woke up with a sore ankle...got progressively worse throughout the day so I could hardly put any weight on it...still swollen compared my right foot...not sure if I was bitten by a spider although I don’t see any bite marks... gave me a good reason to stay home with my feet up and read...

            Rich Butler came over this morning with the upholstered top to  finished off the bay window seat and it's just what the dogs needed. It sure opened up the world to the pups.

            You can keep your chocolate Easter bunnies and Cadbury Eggs, for me Easter is all about jelly beans and not those jelly belly knock offs either... just good old fashion jelly beans...I've gone through 2 bags already...I eat the yellow and green ones first because they are my least favorites ...to get them out of the way... I like the black ones the best...

 

9 March 2019 Saturday

I deserve some honey walnut cinnamon rolls this morning... yes I do so I made a batch out of crescent rolls, brown sugar, butter, and cinnamon with chopped walnuts. Easy Peasy.       

            I took a chance and went down to the prison to see Kyle as his visiting time was at 1 this afternoon and the weather was decent. It was a wasted trip down to the prison though for everyone not just me as that the power was out so they canceled visiting.

 They kept us waiting outside for a while just in case the power came back on but it didn’t so the visit was canceled. I felt sorry for this one woman who drove down from Huntsville in the ice and snow and another one who drove 3 hours up from Price. She was doubly disappointed because she is marrying her inmate this weekend and it was her last chance to see him before the wedding. Jenny Adair wasn’t there and neither was Kevin Ricci. This older couple,  the woman was in a wheelchair, also didn’t  get to visit as well as a young woman I had seen before with her school age two sons. Oh well.

Maxx enjoying his new bay window seat in the bright morning sun...of all my hounds he will enjoy it the most as the others want to be snuggled in with me in the lazy boy. It just took a little bit of money and Richard's skill to make this old dog contented laying in the window ... Not often I see Harleigh and Buddy laying side by side..Buddy has been sleeping all through the afternoon and zonked out during supper time...  he had a peaceful sleep. Buddy’s 13th birthday is on March 12th ....he's the only one I had from a puppy now he’s an old boy

Happy Daylight Savings ...I turned the clocks forward before going to bed.

 

10 March 2019 Sunday

There was snow on the ground this morning. I kind of knew I’d not be going down to the Point of the Mountain because visiting time was 7:45 when it was still 6:45 to this old body.

 It was kind of a productive day this 1st day of Daylight Savings. I got the agenda done for next Sunday's business meeting for the Utah Queer Historical Society, wrote a column for Lambda Lore on the Sacred Faerie’s adventures at the 1992 Rainbow Gathering, and had Bill Poore over for a Pot Roast Sunday dinner. 

He wanted to come see the pups and the new Window Seat. I invited Mike also but he never responded probably not wishing to go out today. I cooked a roast beef, brown gravy and mashed potatoes, carrots, green beans, and crescent rolls... my dessert of a cheesecake flopped. It was baked the correct amount of time the box said but it was undercooked and mushy.

Bill stayed about 2 hours and he’s so hard of hearing nearly deaf without his hearing aids which the VA has for repair. He’s wearing out like the rest of us but he lived his life in the fast lane for many years in New York.  

After he left I went and sat in the hot tub to help with my circulation. After that it was a lazy Sunday afternoon for the pups, for the most part, too gloomy outside to actually leave the house.

I made some brownies to replace the cheesecake I threw out. Remind me never to buy a box mix cheesecake again.  Bored today without a book to read and I didn’t really want to work on my journal so watched a little on Netflix but nothing was all that interesting either.

I really dislike Rocky O’Donovan. He criticized me for contacting Michael Aaron about doing an ad in the Q for the April Oratory that will feature Kaye Kendall and Carol Gnade. He basically said that as he was chair of that subcommittee I should not have contacted Michael. I was only trying to be dutiful as Michael had sent me a deadline of March 14^th for the April issue and I knew we were having our business meeting after that. I also didn’t think that Connell or Becky Moss had reached out to the Q as they hadn’t about Brenda Voisard’s presentation at the end of March. So I’m done helping them with this.  He was a jerk 30 years ago and he hasn’t changed at all.

My 2^nd mom Jean Horan once told me don’t make excuses for old people being rude and obnoxious because they were that way when they were young. Now that I am a “senior” I see how wise she was.

This is the Email I sent to Michael Aaron: “The Utah Queer Historical Society needs an ad for the April 24th Oratory Presentation. Carol Gnade is bringing in Kate Kendall and she and Carol are speaking on Legal issues affecting the LGBT communities in the 1990's. This will be our 4th monthly presentation with speakers being Luci Malin, Kevin Hillman, this month Brenda Voisard and Maureen Davies. April with be Carol Gnade and Kate Kendall. We just formed a committee that is supposed to deal with this but I don't know if anyone has contacted you or not for publicizing it.

“Kate Kendall former Executor Director of the Lesbian Task Force and Carole Gnade former Director of ACLU: Speaking on Issues surrounding historic legal precedents of the 1990s including Gay Straight Alliance at East High and Wendy Weaver's Alpine School District controversy Where: Utah Pride Center When: April 24th Wednesday Time 6:30 -8:00 This is a Monthly series sponsored by the Utah Queer Historical Society a Project of the Utah Pride Center.” 

We had sixty people attend Luci's talk and nearly 40 for Kevin's. These are becoming a popular venue for many of us old timers lol. PS Ancestry.com wants to be a corporate sponsor for the UQHS after seeing the Queer Ancestors wall at the center. Connell O'Donovan and Becky Moss are the contact people for the Oratory Committee]

·         Connell O’Donovan Thank you but in the future please let me know, as Chair of this committee, rather than taking this on yourself. I'm not ready to announce this because a location has not been settled on. I spoke with Brandon and we agreed that since we maxed out the room at the Pride Center when Luci Malin spoke, having an internationally recognized speaker like Kate Kendall could potentially bring a 100 or so people. Brandon has been trying for 3-4 days to find a free, large space where we can hold it. Marmalade Library is booked. We're looking at SL Community College now and co-sponsoring it with their student group. I'll let Michael know that I'll have an announcement for him by the 14th. Connell

·         Bill Poore Just had a great dinner at Ben and his six dogs. We had pot roast, mashed potatoes and gravy, carrots, green beans, rolls, and coffee. I brought home another dinner for tomorrow, plus cheese cake. I wanted to see the new window seat Richard Butler built for the pups to look out the window. Buddy was most pleased at his age to be able to see out...great addition to their lives...Thanks for a great dinner Ben.

 

11 March 2019 Monday

The clock said I slept in until 7:15 but that was on the Daylight Savings time. The pups know when they want me to get up. What I hate the most about Daylight Savings is that I just finished breakfast and coffee and now it's almost time for lunch according to the clock...but I am not hungry yet.

I decided to write Kyle a letter since I didn’t get to see him this past weekend. I sent a copy of my Lambda Lore column with it about the Rainbow Gathering of 1992.  After putting it in the mail I went grocery shopping at both Smith’s and Lucky’s for food and treats for the pups. Except for taking Coco home that’s about the only time I left the house.

 It was a pretty day and I cleaned up the back deck by hosing it up but it was still too cool to do any real yard work. I think I will wait until next week when it’s suppose to get up into the 60’s to clean out my flower beds. 

Haven’t heard much from anyone but I guess everyone is fine or I would have heard. Maybe not. Everything in my life seems to be shrinking; my living area, my circle of friends, my eating habits, and even myself. 

I read a lot from Agatha Raisin’s Pushing Up Daisies and I only have two more books in the entire series to read. It will be a sad lonesome. I have so enjoyed curling up in the lazy boy with TJ in my lap and finding out who murdered who in the Cotswold’s of Great Britain

 

12 March 2019 Tuesday

It was such a pretty day but tomorrow it’s supposed to snow again. I went down to the Dog Park and made an appointment for Buddy to be groomed at 9 in the morning on Thursday.  Then I went to Deseret Industries as I had been there in a long time. I was looking to see if they had a stool or ottoman for the pups to make it easier to jump up into the window sill. They didn’t but I bought a couple of nice lap blankets.

            I then went to the Glendale Smith’s on 8^th South and 9^th West. It has so much more variety of things then the Rose Park store. But other than that stayed home and typed and finished reading Pushing Up Daisies. I checked out  the Witches’ Tree and after I am done with that I will only have one left before I finish the entire series.

            In the afternoon Rich Butler came over to show me his new Ford Truck and take me for a spin in it. He got a great deal on it and he paid for it in cash. He found out that he’s getting even more money from his friend Rick Larimer’s estate. Good for him.

 

13 March 2019 Wednesday

I hope everyone survived the storm last night with the gusty winds...I never had the doggy door fill with snow before...also while I didn't lose power one of my circuit breakers must have popped as the oven range and microwave and the bathroom lights are off... Went to turn the bathroom lights on it they were out and then noticed the microwave and oven clocks were off too so they must be on the  same circuit  as power was on in the rest of the house.   My power box is on the south outside of the house and I am not going out in the wind, snow, and cold to fix it. My stove is gas so I can use it by lighting a match and all my small kitchen appliances are fine so I can have coffee and use the toaster oven but I had to cook my hot cereal in a pan on the stove... I don’t think I've done that in 40 years ha! Not with the invention of the microwave...first world problems.

            Looking out the bay window snow is swirling not just falling so it must be pretty windy out still...brrr... It was a weird kind of snow was it piled up where the wind blew it but there was just a skiff on the back deck. I finally pulled on some snow boots and a heavy jacket and cleaned the snow away from the back door and the steps so the pups could get down to the yard and I reset that circuit box so everything went back to normal.

            I made some chili and cornbread, five mini loaves of banana bread as well as meat loaf for the pups.  I didn’t go to the Gay Men’s Sack lunch. I bet few were there with the weather the way it is even though at noon the streets had cleared.

            Facebook was having some issues  I guess globally today. No one could really post anything and they didn’t explain why. So I guess no posting of my baking or cooking lol.

            I am pretty sure I am going to have an electrician come out and replace some of the breakers in the circuit panel. I went out several times today to reset but they kept popping off. The house is already nearly 23 years old.

            I binged watched Season 9 of Archer the animated series. It was snowing again when I went to bed.  I read in the paper that the Greek Orthodox Church is going to tear down the Le France Apartments that I lived in back in 1991for a couple of years.

 

14 March 2019 Thursday

I took Buddy down to get groomed this morning at 9 and the weather was so much better than yesterday for sure. I also went out and got myself groomed with a beard and haircut but mine didn’t cost nearly as much but then I don’t have nearly as much to groom either.

I am getting a bit of cabin fever as I see things sprouting and budding. Gas has jumped up nearly 20 cents a gallon. It was $2.05 last week and filling up this week it’s $2.25 . I heard from Mike Romero, while dropping Coco off, that Elyse had her baby yesterday. I am sure the Giles are ecstatic.

I saw an article on the Greek Church selling off the La France Apartments and row houses down Del Mar and Wayne Courts to tear down. I lived in the La France Apartment from 1991 to 1993 and so many of my friends at the time lived in the row houses on Del Mar Court, including, Robert Smith, Jimmy Hamamoto, Todd Bennett, Troy Lunt, David Thometz, Doug Winkler, and so many more. Lots of KRCL folks lived there as well as we Sacred Faeries. It was like one big old Gay compound. Built in 1905, they were some of the first apartments built in SLC.

 

15 March 2019 Friday

A lazy morning with the pups just laying in the sunshine coming through the bay window... must feel pretty good. My circuit breaker that connects the bathroom lights and the kitchen’s range and microwave keeps popping off. They will stay on for several hours then just pop off. The breaker switch for it must be totally worn out so I guess I will have to get an electrician to look at it.

 

16 March 2019 Saturday

Three years ago little Maxx needed a home so I fostered him and couldn't give him up so I adopted him... he’s the only one I didn't change his name. I went to the theater this afternoon and taking Alan Anderson my birthday twin. It was fun. I bought t two tickets back in September when the season was first announced. I didn't know Jim Dabakis was in it at the time and originally I was going to ask him to go with me but then asked Alan because of all the shows he has invited me to. lol... I came home from seeing La Cage Aux Folles at the Pioneer Theater at 5:30. I just love musical theater. You always go away happy and humming tunes

I barely got home in time to feed the dogs and head down to Draper to visit with Kyle as his time was from 6:30 until 8:00. There were a lot of new people visiting I hadn’t seen before but Jenny Adair was there visiting with her husband Shawn. We usually share a table when the visiting room gets crowded which it was tonight. Kyle said he just got my letter yesterday that I sent out Monday so not sure why it took so long to get there. He was in good spirits but he does think he may have cracked a rib when he fell from that truck. No great changes going on with either of us. He said that not to have an electrician change all the circuit breakers just the one that keeps popping because he wants to move the entire panel into the house.

 

17 March 2019 Sunday St. Patrick’s Day

There wouldn't be a St. Patrick’s Day without my ancestor Niall of the Nine Hostages kidnapping a teenager Roman Briton named Maewyn Succat. After he escaped he returned years later to convert the Heathens to Christianity. No need to thank me.

            I went down to the Pride Center for our Historical Society’s business meeting. We had to be out by 2:30 so that kept us on schedule. This woman named Cristi Hebert attended because she wanted to do a writing workshop for the society so we elected her chair of the Writer’s Workshop committee. Becky Moss again didn’t show for the business meeting and Joni Weiss said she was over committed with Trans stuff so she resigned.  Trans people rarely support Gay people if their issues aren’t front and center. Oh well.  Daniel Cureton attended this meeting as the archivist and he and Roy Zhang took Doug Wortham’s collection of memorabilia to preserve.

            Bill Poore never got back to me about coming over for dinner so I just had Mike Romero. I fixed Corned beef, buttered new potatoes, cabbage and baby carrots ... keeping it simple

 

18 March 2019 Monday

I went to Deseret Industries today only because I hadn’t been in a long time. I bought a few things like a flower wreath for the front door. I took done all the winter stuff finally and time to get ready for Spring. I went back to the Smith’s on 9^th West. I don’t know why they have such a better selection than the Rose Park Smith’s but I bought discounted summer squash and red peppers for a dollar each and a day old chocolate cake and some bread. The Smith’s here in Rose Park never carries day old bakery goods anymore and rarely any reduced produced.  After 22 years of shopping there I am really disappointed in how they have become. I went to the library and picked up the last of the Agatha Raisin series.

 

19 March 2019 Tuesday

I woke up thinking that a spot light was shining in my face but it is the brightest moon I've ever seen in hanging over the hot tub roof through the trees in the west. It lit up the dining room as I was sleeping on my couch, through the kitchen door window. I tried to take a picture but it doesn’t do justice to how bright it is. It was so beautiful and amazing to be woken up by Bella Luna... I am moonstruck just lying here with my pups who are sound asleep tucked in at my side and feet as I am looking at the moon while still in bed. The last full moon of winter.

            I spent much of the day typing up October in my Journal from 1992. It really is not making me happy rereading that year as it was not a good year for me. A lot of heartbreak and sorrow and weight gain during that year.

            Rich Butler came over at 11 this morning and stayed until 1 in the afternoon to visit and pick up a foot stool that he is going to make into a step for the TJ to jump up onto the window sill easily.

            It was warm enough in the mid 50’s for me to go outside and work some in the front yard, pulling up old dead foliage and leaves from over the winter.  It’s time to spruce things up so the yard will look pretty when my bulbs start flowering.

            I finally started reading my last Agatha Raisin book in the series of 29 Cozy Mysteries.  I don’t know what I will read after this series.

 

20 March 2019 Wednesday

Welcome Spring Equinox and Happy Ostara to my Pagan friends; a time of birth and rebirth. It is a bright full moon a super moon I heard. It’s time to start planning what to plant in the garden.  A full moon on the Spring Equinox only happens a few times in a century. It was breezy this morning with the rainbow flag flapping in the wind... the pups shared a breakfast of biscuits and milk gravy with me.  I figured out that I have OCD: Obsessive Canine Disorder

It was a pretty day so I went out finally and deposited a check from the Pride Center, that I had been hanging on to, at American First and then bought some onion rings at Apollo Burgers before I headed down to the Pride Center for the noon sack lunch bunch. 

TJ and Jim was there and I wished I would have brought the cat lap blanket I had found at DI but I told them I’d come out to Daybreak tomorrow to see them and bring it to them then. While there at the center Robert Moolman showed off a cabinet he bought to display memorabilia over the years. In it was the Utah Stonewall Center sign and coffee cup I had managed to save when the old center was closed in 1997. I had it in my garage for safe keeping all these years until I gave it back to the Pride Center which serves kids that weren't even born in 1997 lol...

I also talked to Angie Salot about securing the 3^rd Sunday in the month for the historical society’s business meeting. She said the center would be open Easter Sunday, which is the 3^rd Sunday in April. 

Then I came home and worked for about an hour in the front yard cleaning out flower beds of old leaves and debris from last fall.  I also made meatloaf for the pups supper and 4 mini loaves of lemon blueberry pound cake... I love Spring.

Conservative Republicans are trying to make Socialism a dividing issue but they are so stupid not to know the difference between Marxism and Democratic Socialism like public schools, public libraries, public roads, public fire fighters, public law enforcers, sports arenas, public parks, public grazing permits, Social Security, farm price support,  Bank deposit Insurance and etc... Socialism is anything that helps all the people instead of Corporate and Wall Street Welfare.

 

21 March 2019 Thursday

It rained really hard during the night and was raining when I left to go down to Daybreak at 11:15 this morning. So different from the pretty day we had yesterday. I had a nice visit with T.J. Otaka and Jim McMullin is afternoon in Daybreak because I wanted to give TJ a lap blanket that had cats all in the design. I found this little treasure of a lap blanket at Deseret Industries while looking for quilts and blankets for the pups. It was in excellent shape and bought it for a dollar. When I took it home and actually saw it was full of cat and mice motifs I thought it would be perfect for T.J. I enjoy recycling being an old school teacher. It's made with heavy cotton so light and warm enough to cover legs watching TV. I remember the devotion Jim and TJ had to their little Fritz who passed away a year or so ago.

They treated me to a new Chinese Restaurant down there they wanted to try. I just had hot and sour soup and two spring rolls. They weren’t too impressed with it. We went back to their place to visit some and they said they are going to Hawaii over Easter. Good for them but I am glad just to stay home.

            Then back at the house Richard Butler brought over a stool step for the pups to get up into the lazy boy and window sill easier. Miss Coco and TJ will use it the most I think. I guess there’s a snag in his getting the deed to his friends house down in Phoenix but he said he thinks it will all work out.  I will get their two pups next Thursday for probably ten days.

 

22 March 2019 Friday

I suppose T.J. Otaka is enjoying the lap blanket as he took a picture of it and posted it on Facebook.

There’s a good soaking rain this afternoon here in Westpointe ... Maxx is enjoying the window seat while Lulubelle and TJ want to cuddle with me as I read Agatha Raisin’s latest and probably last book as the author is up in her 80’s now.

My latest Lambda Lore article on the Rainbow Gathering of 1992 for the QSalt Lake was published. The Sacred Faeries was a new age pagan off shoot of the Radical Faeries... many of the activists of the early 90s were members...this article is autobiographical ...I only used faerie names to protect the not so innocent.

In the news the Mueller Investigation Report was released to the Attorney General. I wonder how much of it will ever see the light of day.

 

23 March 2019 Saturday

I’ve just been busy with Pride Center crap and typing up my 1992 journal and reading Congo by Michael Crichton that I bought at Deseret Industries for a dollar. Not sure if I like it yet.... it’s been rainy then warm then rainy all this week. Alan Anderson wants me to go to this Court chili cook off tomorrow for a fundraiser at the Sun Trapp so I am making some Chili Verde to bring to the Sun Trapp.

            I don’t think I even left the house today. I watched a documentary on NYC’s Studio 54 and As Good As It Gets, the 1997 film where Jack Nicholson and Helen Hunt won Oscars for their performances.  I was a good Mormon Boy during much of the Studio 54 hoopla so I was unaware of what an iconic  cultural phenomenon it was.  

            This fellow named Erik Hutchins wants to interview me on the 28^th this month at noon for a blip for the Pride Spectacular fundraiser

·         As part of my duties, the board has asked me to interview a few Utah folks about '50 Years of LGBQT in Utah'. This story will mirror the 50th anniversary of Stonewall.  Could I sit you down for an interview sometime in the next month? The sooner the better! Thank you in advance for your time and energy. The success of the video is highly dependent on you and a few others.

 

24 March 2019 Sunday

It must have rained all night as outside is really wet. So far the circuit for the Range and Microwave has stayed on for a couple of days so perhaps I can hold off getting in replaced until Kyle Foote gets a chance to look at it.

            It rained all this morning and even up until nearly 1 in the afternoon so I decided not to go down to see Kyle as I would have to be standing out in the rain waiting for the guards to open the prison gate and then go back outside before entering where the visiting room is.  So I just stayed home and typed up the rest of the 1992 journal. I hated that year. It was very difficult for me with almost going to jail, Jeff Workman breaking up with me, and David Sharpton and Dave Reed dying from AIDS that year.   Grandma Johnson died that July too.

I made some baked macaroni and cheese for lunch and a pot of Chili Verde that I am taking to the Royal Courts Chili cook off this late afternoon. It's a fundraiser and I figured most folks will make red chili so I thought green chili would be different

            I went to the Chili Cook Off at the Sun Trapp that was a fundraiser for the Royal Court. It stopped raining in the afternoon and actually became kind of nice out. I only went because Alan Anderson asked me to bring some chili. Alan said that Kyle Daniels was down in Vegas for Spring Break. We didn’t know how much chili would be there but actually there were at least 12 crock pots of chili but I was the only one who brought Green Chili. It was a contest but I knew I wouldn’t win because often these things are a popularity contest which I didn’t mind.

            I went down by myself and met Alan there who also brought some chili and I think there was a good turnout. For $5 you could sample as much chili is one liked although I didn’t eat a thing there and just sipped on some ice water. I did see a lot of old friends there like Chuck Whyte, Walt Larabee and Kevin Hillman and his husband Ryan Alder and of course lots of old timers from the court like Pepper Prespentt and Lynn McKenna. The event last until 4:30 until 6:30 and I went home as soon as I could. Empress 25 of Denver, Kir Royale, and Crown Prince 42, Kolton hosted the event and Chili cook-off raised $609 for court’s the General Fund tonight.

 

25 March 2019 Monday

Andy Dalrymple is singing the blues because Terry Gilman blocked him from the Utah Gay Men’s Resource Network on Facebook for some reason. Probably from being augmentative or not being politically correct about Trans.

            Except for going to Deseret Industries and to the Smith’s on 9^th West I don’t think I left the house today besides taking Coco home, I finished the very last of the Agatha Raisins series so I am not sure what to read now but I do have a lot to do on the computer.

 

26 March 2019 Tuesday

I’m in the doldrums.

 

27 March 2019  Wednesday

I typed up some of my 1990 and 1988 journals. I need to get them out there to Daniel Cureton and Dillon Harker. I did that all morning until leaving to go to the Pride Center for the Noon Sack Lunch. It was kind of boring for me because everyone was talking about cruises they had been on. I have never been on a cruise ship in my life. The only cruising I ever did was in Memory Grove.

As I was getting ready to leave, Robert Moolman stopped me to tell me that I was being given a Life Time Achievement Award at the Spectacular Pride Celebration on May 17^th. Only thing is that Connell is being given the honor with me for our work in preserving Gay history. I should just be happy but I dread being honored with Connell because he will make it all about him. I was snide and did tell Robert that Connell had moved away for 20 years. I had to get a dig in.

            Speaking of digging I went and bought some mulch for the front yard and when I was at Wal-Mart they had a clearance sale of some daffodils and hyacinths so I bought three pots for $2.00 each. At home I planted them in the front yard planter box, raked up some dead leaves, and mowed the front and back for the first time this year.  Everything is starting to bud out and it’s exciting to see the new growth. My fruit trees survived the winter. So I may have peaches, apricots and nectarines to give away. I want to get the rotor tiller out but probably still too early yet.

I even made batch of ginger cookies for the "Men On" group tonight. I was surprised to see Richard Butler bring Sophie and Miley over when I was getting ready to take Coco home. I know for sure he said he was bringing them over on Thursday and that was what I was geared up for. Oh well. Two more mouths to feed.

            I just took Coco home without the rest of the gang because I just didn’t feel up to having 7 pups in the car. At Mike’s place, I guess his hot water tank quit on him and he has to have it replaced. It’s always something.

I went to Terry Gilman’s Men’s On Group instead of to the Queer Utah History Society’s Oratory with Brenda Voisard and Maureen Davies as speakers. I had told Terry that I’d go to his group and bring cookies which I did. The speaker was Peter Stoker Workman who talked about Sexual Transmitted Infections.

 I was originally only going to stay for a little bit then go to hear Brenda but I stayed the whole time. TJ Otaka and Jim McMullin came to night but TJ was upstairs with me while Jim went to hear Brenda. Actually I preferred being in the company of Gay men than a roomful of mostly Lesbians. Besides I’m still ticked at Connell and Becky. Let it be their show. I was there at 5:45 in the afternoon and Connell and Becky still weren’t there to set things up but others had to do it. Typical of them to take the glory but don’t do any of the work.

            Even though I am not sexual active anymore the STI presentation was interesting on what Gay men in the 21^st century have to deal with health wise. I guess PrEP is a part of Gay men’s lives like taking daily vitamins. It’s kind of sad but it’s better than dying like my generation.

Kent Frogley sent out the Kristen Ries nominees. I am not sure why he’s in charge of it. I have no idea who any of these people are.

·         Dr. Matt Bryan MD With great admiration, I nominate Dr. Matt Bryan, MD, for the Kristen Ries Award. Matt has dedicated his internal medicine career to providing thorough and compassionate care to the LGBTQ community and inspiring his colleagues within Intermountain Healthcare (IHC) to do the same. Noticing the shortage of medical providers in Utah who are trained in LGBTQ medicine, he now limits his practice to this patient population. Matt has been working through a telemedicine project to educate providers across the state to care for LGBTQ patients. He spends countless hours of his personal time to teach others about the unique health issues in this population. Matt has developed ways to help LGBTQ patients feel comfortable at all IHC clinics.  He implemented a “preferred name” tab in the medical record as well as a process for patients to self-identify sexual orientation and gender identity.  Matt recognized that IHC had limited visibility in support of LGBTQ providers, thus he partnered with the administration to publicize Diversity Week.  He was featured in an IHC Podcast to raise awareness about LGBTQ health. Matt has become a true advocate for LGBTQ patients through his own practice and also by encouraging his colleagues to provide competent care to this population. He has motivated us all to become more compassionate humans, dedicated to equality for all patients we are privileged to serve. I am excited to see how Matt's energy and passion will continue to improve the care for LGBTQ patients in Utah and beyond.

·         Sean Childers-Gray Sean is an incredibly hard working volunteer board member for Ogden Pride. He tirelessly designs all of the Ogden Pride graphics and logos. He's an outspoken, compassionate trans-man who has fought to set precedence on gender change in Utah courts. Additionally, he volunteers countless hours for the Imperial Rainbow Court of Northern Utah, volunteers at his kids' school, works full- time and is working on his doctorate.  Sean is a hard working, positive, kind, inspiring member of the LGBTQ community.

·         Kylee Howell Kylee is the owner of Friar Tuck’s Barbershop, a safe space for all LGBTQ+ to explore their grooming needs. She is also the Vice Chair of the Utah LGBTQ+ Chamber of Commerce, a volunteer leadership position. The Chamber provides opportunities for businesses to advocate, educate, and communicate and Kylee has been instrumental in recent outreach/visibility projects, such as organizing Pride nights with the Salt Lake Stallions and Utah Jazz. She also works with the Pride Center to educate trans folk about getting the haircuts or grooming products that will support their gender identity. She volunteers at the VOA Youth Shelter, giving haircuts to homeless teens and young adults, many of whom are LGBTQ. She will be participating in USU-Eastern’s Diversity Conference in April as a returning presenter and will discuss the importance of Safe Zones, visibility, and acceptance on college campuses and in smaller communities. 

·         Sue Robbins I would like to nominate Sue Robbins for the Kristen Ries Community Service Award. Sue Robbins has been an incredibly dedicated and effective advocate for the LGBTQA community.  She was a founding member and inaugural president of Phi Delta, a local tri-ESS chapter in Salt Lake City. After coming out more publicly as a transgender woman she became a member of the board of directors of the Utah pride center and served as president of the board in 2017 – 2018. During this time she committed much of her time and energy to building a strong and effective team of board of directors to guide the Pride Center to greatly improved financials, a new building, and the hiring of an incredible new executive director to lead the centers operations and improve community services. Sue continues to be involved having more recently become the Chair of Transgender Education Advocates, working to build and grow that organization and to help it be more effective in its mission to serve the Transgender community in Utah. She has also recently taken a position with Equality Utah transgender Advisory committee. Behind the scenes she has spent much time and effort on legislative issues affecting the community by working with equality Utah and meeting with state lawmakers. These have included efforts for a possible bill to allowing transgender people to more easily change their gender markers and helping to stop negative bills from advancing. She always makes herself available to help the community whether it is taking a call from parents with a child who has recently come out or meeting with school officials regarding trans or other lgbtqa issues. In fact I would not know her, and be her wife today, if it was for her involvement in helping a young trans boy and his family in Idaho which allowed us to meet. Sue believes education leads to change and she is a true example of this by always being willing to educate and advocate for the community bringing about positive change. She has been a very steady, consistent, rational, and incredibly effective advocate and voice for the Utah LGBTQA community.

 

28 March 2019 Thursday

It's a homemade biscuit kind of morning don’t you think? It feels like spring. Biscuits and honey with bacon and eggs with mocha coffee, I am all set. I had 4 dogs competing to sleep with me last night on the couch, TJ, Lulubelle, Buster, and Sophie. I need a bigger couch. Sophie is such a cuddler. She had to be draped across my chest.

I love this time of year when the forsythias are blooming. I have about 4 of them around the yard. They are pretty non descript during the rest of the year but they are magnificent in the Spring

It was a busy day between going to the Utah Pride Center to be interviewed by Erick Hutchins for the Pride Center’s Spectacular Event held May 17^th. Connell and I are being honor for lifetime achievements for preserving history. I was videotaped and then he will edit it down. Last year Carol Gnade got a lifetime achievement award.

After that I went to Wal-mart and bought a twin bed size comforter for the couch because the full size ones I have are just too messy and I get tangled up in them. It is red to match the couch also. I then went to Smith’s on 9th West and bought some more chicken gizzards and a small size white cake I was craving.

Back home because it was so pretty out I began working in the yard. It's what we faeries do. I had a stretch of grass between two flower boxes that I was sick of mowing. So I laid down two bags of mulch and it looks better already. I also spread out poppy seeds that T.J. Otaka and Jim gave me yesterday and some marigold seeds that Richard P. Butler gave me while cleaning up the beds. I also planted some pink day lily bulbs... I am so ready for Spring to spring. Additionally I mowed the front and backyard for the first time this year

I tried reading some from Forever Amber that I read in high school but while it’s still good I am not sure I want to invest my time in reading 1000 pages again. Besides it is really hard to read with Miley and a Sophie kissing me and vying for attention while TJ is trying to distract them in my lap. Max loves looking out the window to the world. This is why I had Richard P. Butler build me a window seat... Max is one contented dog.

This evening it’s raining pretty steadily here in Westpointe so glad I put out seeds this afternoon.

 

29 March 2019 Friday

I was surprised by the amount of snow that fell over night. I  woke from a sound sleep when a very wet Sophie wanted to jump on me to cuddle. There's nothing as affectionate as a wet dog. So I got up when others were coming in wet also. The dogs won’t go outside in the rain but snow doesn’t bother them but they still come in wet. Therefore rather than deal with wet dogs, I got up, had a piece of cake, and cuddled in

the lazy boy until everyone was done going in and out. It was after 3 in the morning before going back to sleep.

I was up at 6:30 this morning to find about three inches of snow had fallen. It was a heavy wet snow and several of my friends Michael Aaron and Cole Gilmore had broken tree limbs. There were reports of trees limbs down all over the city. Yesterday it was Spring, but this morning not so much... Gotta love Utah weather.

I stayed home all day even though Bill Poore and I had made plans to go out to lunch but he didn’t want me coming over in this weather with so much slush on the roads and crashed. Besides he posted on Facebook that Boyer Jarvis, a friend of his and long time community ally, died yesterday. He was well over 95 years old.

            So I stayed home and posted videos of the pups playing and being themselves. I bought a lounge cushion yesterday for the coffee table so it would be more comfy ... and pups seem to enjoy it... Coco and TJ were sound asleep in my arms for much of the morning while for others it's a lookout the window kind of day with snow on the ground.

            I made me some crescent cinnamon rolls for breakfast but didn’t feel like cooking much else, just eating leftovers.

            I realized that my lecture series is next week so I thought I better make an event page for it and start compiling the information for it although I am not much in the mood for it.

            When I took Coco home, besides the usual gang I took Sophie with me. It was slightly raining on the way over. I was there for about 15 minutes wondering if Mike was ever going to come out. I called and left a message and no response. So I thought I better go ring the bell and when I stepped out of the car, Sophie jumped out. She didn’t come back at first which scared me to death hoping she wasn’t going to run away but I managed to get her back in the car just as Mike came out. I was kind of put out going through this worry just because he wouldn’t answer his phone when he knows I come over about the same time every day. I was going to see if he needed help paying for his water heater but instead I just handed him Coco and took off.

            Feeding 8 dogs is kind of a challenge because Miley is shy but I figured when they are hungry enough they will eat.

            I was restless and bored tonight so I watched Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown. I’ve always enjoyed that Spanish film.

·         Bill Poore My dear friend Boyer Jarvis passed away yesterday....his history speaks for itself. Greatness just is and that is exactly what he was, Great. I love you Boyer. RIP dear friend. Him and his friend Clyde Vinson, my mentor, are now together. I can just hear them. "Life is going to hell in a hand bucket or basket".

 

30 March 2019 Saturday

I started to get dressed to go down to see Kyle then realize why take the change that he’s even there when they have pulled him out for work duty most Saturdays lately. So I just stayed home and tried to pull my talk for Wednesday together.

After four hours of compiling and writing up my talk on 1992 for my lecture series I can't begin to tell you how much I hated that year. Too many of my friends dead before their time, the breakup of a relationship with Jeff Workman, and legal issues with the court. I did not like that year. It was the pits. Only good thing was that Bill Clinton was elected ending the Republican regime of 12 years of Reagan and Bush

 

31 March 2019 Sunday

It's hard to believe that March is over already. Bill Poore wanted to come over and see the pups so I made a Sunday pot roast for dinner; homemade biscuits, corn, green beans, carrots and broccoli medley, mashed potatoes and gravy, and a lemon meringue pie to say goodbye to March. Bill Poore reminisced about Boyer Jarvis as they were good friends, like family. When Bill’s friend Clyde Vinson, a voice coach in New York City died of AIDS in 1989, Boyer and his wife Pat Jarvis attended his funeral as that Boyer and Clyde attended the Northwestern University together and were friends. Boyer was rather homophobic until after attending the funeral and being with Bill Poore. He and Pat returned to Salt Lake City and then became involved in AIDS awareness and being an Ally.

I had a nice visit with Kyle down at the Prison, the weather was nice so it was crowded and we had to double up. He said his cracked rib is better and he’s been busy working on the outside, even mowed the grass at Fortitude. There was really nothing really new to talk about. I just wanted to keep his spirits up. 

I saw a woman with a baby and a young boy, an old man in a wheel chair on oxygen, and so many wives and girlfriends there. It’s really kind of tragic that these men put their loved ones through this. Kevin Ricci was down visiting Craig Crawford. Kyle told me how they make prison ice cream in trash bags... I guess you have to be innovative... This one 22 year old guy he knows, who walked away from the halfway house was sent back but while he was out he was living off a middle-aged Latino Tranny. I bet he will be in and out of prison for the rest of his life.