APRIL
1 April 2007 Sunday
No entry
This first day of Spring Break, I
went to the county's park and recreations office to pay for the deposit for
Harmony Park. It was $50 to reserve the same pavilion area we had last year and
I paid for it out of the Utah Stonewall account in which I still had some
money. So that's our donation to Gay Freedom Day.
I Spent much of today
also writing my article for the QSalt Lake. I probably went too long about 1200
words, but oh well that is what editors are for.
I have bitten
off a major project maybe more than I chew as it’s so time consuming. I created
a history Blog for the Utah Stonewall Historical Society on which I am posting
a chronology of all the information in my archives for each day of the year.
It's very labor intensive but for other Gay historians or just those people who
are interested in Utah's Gay history it will be a gold mine and a way to
preserve the 20 years of work I have been collecting.
Lots of primary
sources, anecdotes, and sometimes just gossip. So If I am not on Face Book I am
busy on a new site, or working in my yard, or cleaning house or at school.
That's my life as a middle age Gay guy.
3 April 2007 Tuesday
It's Tuesday morning already and I am on Spring Break. Yippee! I have
been working in the yard a lot when the weather permits. Its fun to see what
little green things are sprouting as long as there not on me.
Because the
weather turned cool and breezy I stayed inside the rest of the afternoon and
played “Domestica” the faerie. I scrubbed the carpets, cleaning up after the
sixteen little feet that pitter-patter in and out all day. Well my carpet never
greets me at the door, squeal with delight, and cover me with kisses so if
there’s a contest between the carpet and the canines guess which one goes?
I so appreciate
the line from Lion In Winter when Queen Eleanor says, "Even my lust is
rust". That's me. Of course there's a cute guy on my Face Book friend's
list that I adore from afar. I bet he could prime my pump.
TEN REASONS-You may be a Mormon
if ...
1. Your daughter
says a man raped her and you ask if he's been on a mission.
2. You call
Protestants and Catholic Churches "The Great Whore" then wonder why
they don't like you.
3. You are
offended by the sight of a black man drinking a Pepsi.
4. You think
evolution is crazy and full of holes, but you believe a white skinned Jew in
5. You think
that a self proclaimed prophet with three years of formal schooling is better
at reading Egyptian then an actual Egyptologist.
6. You think,
well actually, you don't
7. You think
that a Mayan glyph showing a tree confirms the Book of Mormon.
8. You think
that a religion which maintains that God is still changing his mind and fixing
stuff almost two hundred years after he sent down the truth is pretty
trustworthy. So are his prophets here on earth.
9. You have
never missed a day of church, but you have missed three of your children's
births.
10. You blame
your state's high teen suicide rate on masturbation and coffee.
4 April 2007 Wednesday
I went finally to check on the rent on my PO Box which I pay yearly. I
thought it was due this month. However after getting there I found that it was
locked and reassigned to someone else. I was chagrinned to find out that the
rent was due last October! LOL Oh Well, I only got the box for the historical
society and it was the same number I had for Beyond Stonewall from back in the
late ‘80’s. Maybe it was fate saying it’s time to move on or more likely I am
the biggest procrastinator in the world! There are some disadvantages being a lazy
bear for the winter I have found out.
I received from
Netflix the first season of the Bob Newhart Show and had a marathon evening
with Bob, Emily, Carol, Howard, and Jerry the dentist. I think my craving for
early 1970’s sit-coms is about fixed.
I for my supper
I had salmon, alfredo noodles, peas, a salad, and a spice cake for dinner
yesterday. Like I said I was channeling Domestica.
TEN REASONS WHY you may be a
Mormon if ...
1. You believe
that a murderer will get a better deal in the after life then any one who
rejects his faith.
2. You have a
cousin who left the church, but you don’t talk about him.
3. You cannot
count your children on both hands.
4. You stop
having kids after the Book of Mormon runs out of names.
5. You vote
Republican because it is the lesser of two evils.
6. At a party
you put a scoop full of green Jell-O on your plate and ask Brother Jared how
his mission to
7. You think
that Battlestar Galactica is a good witnessing tool
8. Your
testimony sounds exactly like everyone else’s and you still think its powerful
9. You would
take a bullet for Gordon Hinckley.
10. You notice
that at any one point you know at least two pregnant women.
5 April 2007 Thursday,
I mowed my lawn today.
That about sums up my life.
Tim Keller wrote
me today with directions to the Bear Lake Retreat “Hi Ben Just in case you
don't remember how to get to the Retreat Center the directions are as follows. Driving
into
Also, if you
should need to reach us after Friday afternoon .. The planning committee member
cells are Jay Dee Blackburn Cell number is 801 458 8830, Adair Neff is at 435
764 8056 or Matthew Blackham is at 435 757 0246.
Cell reception
at the lake is iffy at best but we will be in
PS> Your welcome to join us at the shooting
range on Saturday. If you are interested let me know.”
I wrote back
“Thanks, I will be coming up late Saturday morning”
6 April 2007 Friday
Today is Good Friday for anyone who cares. It's nice to see Easter
Lilies in the store again and Sunday is Ham-Day although I don't expect I'll be
doing anything but driving back down from Logan after spending the night at
Bear Lake surrounded by college men.
I'm still not
sure what I am going to present...Probably do a little Finding the Gay-Child
Within meditation, a little Pre-Stonewall background, a little Genderqueer
theory.
I like to
discuss whether being Gay is a movement or a market. Oh well it probably won't
matter... most of the guys there will want to be bed hopping after all most of
them will be about 20 years old.
TEN REASONS -You May be a Mormon
if-
1. You have
every said "We are not a cult. I'd love to explain, but I have to be back
at the temple at six for a baptism for the dead."
2. You think
that black people and Bigfoot are closer related then black people and you.
3. You realize
that you could script your entire life and no one would notice.
4. You fear that
Gay black pagans will kidnap you, take off your pants, and reveal the secret
underwear to the world.
5. You think
that the polygamists now are confused but not great-grandpa.
6. You can find
an answer to anything in your Scriptures.
7. You thought
as a kid the F word was Flip.
8. You had sex
explained to you by your father on the day you were married.
9. You were
frustrated that you and your spouse had sex and failed to conceive.
10. If you think
Kool-Aid and bologna sandwiches are what is traditionally served to guests at a
wedding reception
7 April 2007
Saturday
Saturday morning I drove up to
the Gay Retreat that Utah State University's Gay Alliance club was holding at
Bear Lake. It's about 130 miles from Salt Lake City. Bear Lake is about 30
miles from Logan through a very winding Canyon.
The snow pack
was gone which amazed me since last year it was deep and everywhere so I guess it’s
true that we will have another drought like summer since our mountain
reservoirs will not be filled this year.
The sumac was
beautiful all red and yellow along the creek bed and the mountains were
beautiful. The road was clear so didn't feel like I was taking my life into my
hands like last year.
I reached the
lodge about 1 p.m. and most everyone was at a firing range workshop learning
how to hold and use a weapon. Courtney Moser was in the kitchen playing “Domestica
the fairy” so I hung out with him and we visited until people came back for
lunch.
There were only
between 15 and 20 people at the retreat, mostly college students from Idaho and
Logan, Utah. I only recognized a few from last year and none by name.
Tim Keller and
Courtney are the organizers of the retreat and once they decide to stop, I am
sure it will go by the way side. Courtney said at one time there were 70 guys
at the retreat but now it hovers around 15. The guys were mostly between the
ages of 18 and 23 I'd say, and very, VERY, much the princesses. It was a school
girl slumber party for sure.
I of course was
the OLD man at the retreat which one guy pointed out to me later in the
evening.
I did my presentation on Gay Lexicon and first
talked them through a meditation exercise called "finding the Gay child
within". I think they enjoyed the relaxation part but the introspective
part of the exercise was lost on them. Maybe it’s because they never lost the
Gay child to begin with.
Then I passed
out my hand out and we discussed social constructs by the use of certain
terminology. I showed video clips of Cary Grant jumping up and saying, “Because
I just gone Gay!,” Humphrey Bogart calling Wilmer a Gunsel in Maltese Falcon,
Red Foxx attempt at understanding homosexuality in "Norman Is that
You?" and a bit of the Gay bath house in "The Ritz".
It was a bit too
academic I think for many of them especially the A.D.D. ones. Besides, I felt
like they were more interested in hitting the sheets with each other than
listening to some presenter go on and on about Gay theory.
Other workshops
that night was on martial arts and self-defense, and team building skills. The
team building was basically a disaster because evidently this generation
doesn't know how to work as a team. Everyone wanted to do his own thing.
Perhaps that explains why so many of the old social organizations are falling
apart.
I gave my Easter
Bonnet to this young princess who really liked it. So felt like maybe she will
appreciate the connection of something being passed down. Courtney Moser had to
leave tonight because he works Sunday so I really became the oldest guy there
after he left.
Courtney said
Kelly Byrnes is doing quite better on his new medication and they are wanting
to move to Salt Lake City from Logan to be closer to their grandkids.
I guess there's
no more Metropolitan Community Church Bridgerland in Logan anymore and those
who took over the church, turned it into a Unitarian Church. Courtney said the Metropolitan
Community Church in general is going through a major upheaval now that Rev. Troy
Perry is stepping away from having led the church for nearly 40 years.
I spent the
night at Bear Lake and didn't get much sleep with all the shenanigans going on
over my head upstairs.
8 April 2007
Easter Sunday
I was up by 8:00 a.m. and the
place quiet as everyone was sound asleep, so I left to drive back to Salt Lake
City to spend the rest of Easter with Mike Romero and my hounds.
It was misty
with low hanging clouds up in the high range so I had to use my windshield
wipers but thank God for no snow.
I was home by
10:30 having made good time. I realized that there's no place like home and I
was greeted by very excited hound dogs covering me with kisses. No one was
interested in covering me with kisses at Bear Lake.
I don't know
whether I will facilitate again next year and not because I wasn't covered with
kisses but I am not sure that what I have to offer is really what this very
young generation of Gays want to hear or can relate too.
I also feel like
old man Methuselah there among so many teens and twenty-ish Gays. I suppose if
there were even a few others over 30 (or 40) I would feel more comfortable but
I definitely felt the outsider, and even that I was being isolated, because my
age might be contagious. But then again what did I have in common with them either.
I always said it’s better to stay with people on the same time line. I dare say
most of these guys were born after 1986.
So Easter was
spent home, relaxing. I didn't realize how tired I was from the drive and not
getting much sleep and was sleepy watching "Running With Scissors",
which was interesting but other than that just didn't do much. I Didn't fix an
Easter dinner this year nor called anyone.
Chuck Whyte however
left a message that Tom Geddes' obituary was in the Saturday's paper. He was 60
years old and died of a heart attack at home. He was dead for nearly a week
before anyone found him.
He was a
colorful fixture at the Trapp where he sat at the back bar, drank, and sang
arias from Opera. He was also a friend of Joe Redburn who Chad Keller said is
taking it pretty hard
9 April 2007 Monday
Well Easter week is over and I will be going back to work soon. I took
today and tomorrow off also because tomorrow is my birthday and thought I'd
just take it off as a personal leave day.
I went and had a massage as an
early birthday present. This 22 year old Gay kid really worked out the old
stress and felt like heaven. I swear a good massage is every bit as good as
sex.
TEN REASONS You Might Be A Mormon
If:
1. you only
drink beer when no one is around.
2. you quit
having children at 8, because 9 is just too friggin many.
3. you believe a
man can become a God, but you don't believe in evolution.
4. you have a
lot more Great Grandmas than Great Grandpas.
5. Gladys Knight
is your favorite black recording artist ... in fact, she might be your favorite
black person ...
6. You have told
people that
7. You have told
people that BYU is a “great academic institution”.
8. One of your
kids was accepted by several Ivy League schools and BYU and went to the
"Y" because "some things are more important than
education".
9. You think God
cares about college football.
10. When that
nice investment advisor promised you that your money would triple next month if
you gave it to him to invest for you, you felt so wonderful inside that you
knew God was finally going to bless you so that you could pay off your first,
second and third mortgages and go on a mission!
10 April 2007 Tuesday
Happy Birthday to me...I was born on a Tuesday in a little farmers’
co-op hospital in Amherst, Lamb County, Texas just about 40 miles north of
Lubbock. My dad was trying to farm some near Hart Camp. He wasn't a very good
farmer and after a June crop was hailed out we moved to
One of his
partners got shot and my mom insisted that he quit so in 1953 off we moved back
to Los Angeles California where my oldest sister was born I 1947.
So while I was
born in Texas, a fifth generation, I was actually raised in Orange County when
my parents bought a track home in Garden Grove about 4 miles from Disneyland
which was built in '56.
My dad's folks
had all relocated to
My sister Donna
and I spent most of our teenage years back in
It was in the
summer of 1968 when I was 17 that I fell in love with a Cowboy named Buddy
Huskey who was 19. My sister was engaged to him for about a year. But that's a
different story.
Not sure what
I'll do today...probably nothing. Well heard the news today that my neighbors
are not going to Alaska but most likely will be moving to Kalispell, Montana
where they have relatives and there's a good business opportunity for them. I
am going to bawl my eyes out when they do leave. We sure had a good thing going
for the past nine years.
I fixed a fresh
strawberry glazed pie for my birthday. Yum! Mom called also, and we had another
marathon talk on the phone. She was in the mood to go down memory lane and told
me about her adventure of going with my grandma to California on the train
during the WWII. She was 13 years old at the time.
I guess when they got off at Flagstaff to get
something to eat because the troop trains had no dinning cars, the train took
off without them and with all their suitcases and stuff. Even the conductor was
so drunk that he tore the wrong ticket so Grandma had to argue her way back on
another train without having to pay for another ticket.
Some soldiers
met them in Barstow, California and had retrieved their belongings and mom
wrote to the kid who was stationed in Italy until his letters stopped coming.
She thinks he was killed because soldiers wrote to anyone then who would write
back and she wrote him every week.
They finally
made it to San Francisco where they found a rooming house where they could stay
while they were in San Francisco to see my uncle who was in a Navy hospital
having his tonsils take out.
Once, while
walking down the street, two sailors grabbed my mom's and grandma's arms and
said I'll take the mother you can have the daughter. My grandma informed the
sailors they weren't having either.
Across from the
rooming house was a saloon where sailors got drunk and mom remembers them
blaring out "Pistol Packing Mama" from the jukebox. For a little farm
girl from west Texas, Mom said she thought she was in heaven.
At night she
would stare up at the search lights sweeping the sky and occasionally she would
see a plane become all lit up. No wonder my mom allowed my sister and me to
travel back to Texas by train when I was 13 so we could have our own
adventures.
They were never
as thrilling as hers but I do remember in 1965 our train detouring through
Watts during the worse of the riots and while standing on the platform
connecting the cars I saw these angry white guys screaming Nigger at our
conductor.
The only other
excitement I had on the train was a little crush I had on this teenager who was
traveling by himself too. We pressed our knees together and I thought I was
going into Ecstasy.
My mom says
that she's probably sell the farm this year.
My cousin
Stephanie wrote me: Dear Ben, Happy Birthday, I hope you have a nice Birthday
this year. Been thinking a lot about you and hope that things are going well
for you. I have been working a lot. Things are going ok for the most part. The
kids are doing great. I got my layoff notice, again. My last day is to be next
month on the 24th unless it is rescinded. So I am working 7 days a week now. I
do have a lead on some other companies that are hiring now, so I might not be
out of work for too long. Might coincide with Mom's move anyways, so I can give
her a hand. Give me a call or drop me a line. I have Verizon on my cell.
714-329-5575. Big birthday Hug to you Cuz, Steph.
I responded
back; “Sorry about the lay off but you should be able to bounce back with all
your skills. Mom's been keeping me informed about your mom's move. I say it’s
about time. With her bad knees and finances she doesn't need to be tramping
around in that big house. Besides now she will have some liquidity in her
finances to do about anything she wants.
Cottonwood is a
nice place. That's where mom and dad lived before moving back to Texas.
I've had an off
and on cough since February. Went to the doctors and he said my lungs were
clear but then a week later I came down with the flu.
Spent Easter as
a facilitator for a college Gay club retreat at Bear Lake on the Utah and Idaho
Border about 130 miles north of here. It was beautiful driving through the
mountains.
Crossing our
fingers that Charline gets this job she has clearance for. They've been a year
now without work. Mom's a little disgusted.
James came to
Vegas with his new son Jaiden. That made Mom happy. Haven't heard from anyone
have you? How's Terrie doing?
I sat down with
a retirement planner from my school and he said that I can retire in six years
with a full pension so I am getting there. I am going to retire at 62 because
you know the Williams boys don't have a track record of living very long. It's
hard to say 62 it seem so far away but I am 56 today. Charline will be 60 in
June. Frances Ann will be 62 in September! I guess its our turn to grow old
LOL! Hope David and Steven are well. Cuz Junior
11 April 2007 Wednesday
My poor Priscilla was so miserable last night. I think her anal glands
are infected again so I called the vet and the earliest I can get in is
tomorrow. I had a nice week and a half away from school and it was so very hard
to go back, but after Mrs. Pratt, the kids were happy to see me.
We had a walking
field trip this morning to Bountiful City Lights and Power today and while it
was nippy and breezy the walk wasn't too bad. Not too much or clever to say.
12 April 2007 Thursday
No entry
13 April 2007 Friday
Friday the 13th ...Spooky. Nothing much is going on Yesterday I took
Priscilla to the vet and yep she had infected anal glands the poor thing. They
irrigated her and she's on antibiotic and today she seemed a much happier
pooch.
Mike Romero and
I are looking after the menagerie next door as my neighbors are off to Montana
to look at job prospects there. They have two dogs, a cat, a hamster, and a
frog to feed.
I am kind of
down in the dumps for some reason. I think its time for a hiatus again and take
some time for myself.
14 April 2007 Saturday
It was Kind of an eventful day. Hadn't planned
on buying furniture today but ended up buying two teak wood chairs with
ottomans, and a small end table. Its spring time and I suppose it was time to
spruce the place up...however I sure am stiff and sore right now.
I watch two
excellent Spanish movies, one called “Queens” was about these women and their
Gay sons who are all in Madrid to get married. It was really great and had all
the top stars from Spanish Cinema in it. Just finished watching Volver starring
Penelope Cruz. What a great movie. I want to retire and move to
Tim Keller wrote
me saying, “I just wanted to drop you a quick note to thank you for coming up
for us again this year. Everyone had a great time and yet again you made quite
the impression. Thanks again.”
15 April 2007
Sunday
No entry
16 April 2007
Monday
A suicidal madman student killed
32 people on the Virginia Tech campus in the deadliest shooting rampage in U.S.
history.
17 April 2007- 18
April 2007
No entries
19 April 2007 Thursday
It snowed like hell in Bountiful yesterday so it was an indoor recess
all day so the day was crap with kids wanting to be outside and I having no
breaks away from the 30 darlings.
I did have my
evaluation with my principal yesterday and she said I was a great teacher. I
think we are on the same page in our philosophy towards teaching that we are
parents every bit as much as educators these days.
The Mass murder
at Virginia Tech continues to distraught the country. What wasted lives.
However it makes you think how horrific life must be in
I'm taking
Priscilla in to the vet this morning for a check up to see if her infection has
cleared up and this late afternoon I am going to dinner with Chad Keller.
Haven't been out and about for about two weeks now.
I am really fed
up with being active in the Gay community here in
20 April 2007- 21 April 2007
No entries
22 April 2007 Saturday
IT's ALL ABOUT MOI!
FOODOLOGY
What is your
salad dressing of choice? Greek
What is your
favorite fast food restaurant? Subway
What is your
favorite sit-down restaurant? Jim’s Family Restaurant, Salt Lake City, UT
On average, what
size tip do you leave at a restaurant? about 20% if the service is good. Just a
dollar if so-so
What food could
you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick off of? biscuits and gravy
What are your
pizza toppings of choice? sun dried tomatoes, pineapple, green peppers,
mushrooms, black olives, onions, sausage
What do you like
to put on your toast? English muffins with butter and apricot preserves
What is your
favorite type of gum? A. Dentyne
TECHNOLOGY
Number of
contacts in your cell phone? 45
Number of
contacts in your email address book? hundreds
What is your
wallpaper on your computer? naked guys in a locker room celebrating a victory.
(Usually it’s of my dogs Saffy and Oscar who have passed away.)
What is your
wallpaper on your cell phone? parakeets
How many
televisions are in your house or apartment? 4 regulars, 1 flat screen, and one
huge home theater wall screen.
BIOLOGY
Are you
right-handed or left-handed? A. right
Do you like your
smile? A. Yes but I never show teeth
What's your best
feature? A. In the past my hair and beard today my eyes, I guess
Have you ever
had anything removed from your body? A. yes, tonsils, appendixes, some
non-cancerous moles, and several teeth
Which of your
five senses do you think is keenest? A. Color
When was the
last time you had a cavity? A. I got one now and it hurts
What is the
heaviest item you lifted last? A. moving a neighbors 45 inch tv
Have you ever
been knocked unconscious? A. no bored unconscious yes!
CRAPOLOGY
If it were
possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die? A. Only is the
judge tells me
Is love for
real? A. Love is real and permanent but not always stationary
If you could
change your first name, what would you change it to? A. I already have to Ben.
My birth name is Edgar
What color do
you think looks best on you? A. red
Have you ever
swallowed a non-food item by mistake? A. I'm sure I have Does Cum count? But
that wasn't by mistake.
Have you ever
saved someone’s Life? A. I dragged a kid into a convenience store who was
getting the shit beat out of by a gang of Mexicans in
Has someone ever
saved yours? A. When I was 22 years old I was robbed working the graveyard
shift at Taco Bell in
DAREOLOGY
Would you walk
naked for a half mile down a public street for $100,000? A. yes
Would you kiss a
member of the same sex for $100? A. I would pay $100 to kiss a member of the
same sex if I get to choose where I kiss him.
Would you allow
one of your little fingers to be cut off for $200,000? A.no but maybe a little
toe.
Would you never
blog again for $50,000? A. No
Would you pose
naked in a magazine for $250,000? A. yes by why would they ask me?
Would you drink
an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1,000? A. No! It would do internal damage
Indecent
proposal for $1,000,000? A. Oh baby yes since I have given it away for free all
my life.
Would you give
up watching television for a year for $25,000? A. oh hell yes
LASTOLOGY
Friend you
talked to. A:
Last person you
called? A: My Mom
Last person that
called you? A: My Mom
Person you hugged.
A: Kimberlee my neighbor
FAVORITOLOGY
Number? A: 10
Color(s)? A:
bright yellow
Season? A: Fall
CURRENTOLOGY
Missing someone?
A: lots of people
Mood? A: mildly
depressed, feeling unappreciated, melancholy
Listening to? A:
Washing machine
Watching? A:
Computer Screen
Worrying about?
A:
RANDOMOLOGY
First place you
went this morning. A: the bathroom to pee
What can you not
wait to do? A: For this school year to be over
What's the last
movie you saw? A: "Sunshine" with Ralph Fiennes in it playing several
generations of a Jewish Hungarian family in the 20th Century under the
Austro-Hungarian Empire, Fascism, and Communism. It was very long but excellent
if you have the attention span. You do get to see Ralph Fiennes cute butt a lot
and once his cock.
Do you smile
often? A: sadly no except when I come home and four little screeching doggies
are jumping all over me so excited that I am home. I smile when I think of
things from the past. But with George Bush in the White House what is there to
smile about?
Are you a
friendly person? A: I think so but I think many see me as reserved because I
only open up with those I can trust.
What is in your
left pocket? A: my left nut
Is Napoleon
Dynamite actually a good movie? A: It’s a rural Mormon Geek show that has a few
moments but definitely it is for the underdeveloped personalities of the world
Do you have
hardwood or carpet in your house? A: Carpet that need to be replaced from pee
spots from a very bad puppy. I won’t name names.
Do you sit or
stand in the shower? A: stand but would sit if shower allowed for it.
Could you live
with roommates? A: Yes especially a cute one that I got to see walking naked
around the house.
How many pairs
of flip-flops do you own? A: none, Flip-flops are the epitome of this
generation.
Where were you
born? A:
What did you
want to be when you grew up? A: loved
Who is number 1
on your top 10 A: Moody Blues tied with Eric Burton and the Animals
23 April 2007 Monday
No entry
24 April 2007 Tuesday
In a week it will be May 1st. The time does seem to be flying. The
weather here has been so cool and overcast. Too cold to do yard work and I
really need to mow my lawn. My puppy Daisy has a voracious appetite for literature
I just found out. This great book that Chad Keller had just given me last
Thursday called Gay Days the History of the Christopher Street Parade was torn
cover from cover every page ripped out. How she was able to carry a hardback
book out the doggy door, down the deck stairs to the backyard I have no idea!
So I went on
line to buy another one and keep this one off the coffee table. I called
I suppose
Michael Aaron
emailed me about why I haven't submitted a column to him for this next issue of
the QSL he said I had lots of positive comments over the last one...I admitted
that I was feeling old, underappreciated, and melancholy.
25 April 2007
Wednesday
My Lambda Lore column
A long time ago, in a more
innocent era, the people of Utah were a happy dancing people. They would break
out in song for no apparent reason except for the love of melody. No one
thought it strange, well no one until the dark clouds of Correlation began to
hover over 50 East North Temple.
A regime change
occurred in late 1973, when the Harold B Lee Lord of Correlation suddenly
expired and a diminutive cancer-throated bespeckled Spencer W. Kimball was
swept up into the Wasatch echelons of power.
Now Kimball
appeared to be a very serious man who looked dimly at the ensconced musical
frivolity which had taken root high on the Mountain Tops. Perhaps he was an
Arthur Murray reject or couldn’t carry a tune because of throat cancer, we will
never know but things were going to change.
When Kimball was
a much younger Apostle, it was said that he was given the calling of dealing
with the church’s young men who had carried out the laying on of hands to a
ridiculous extreme. Some called him the Apostle to the Homosexual. Others,
perhaps not as kindly disposed, called him the Lord High Executioner. Anyhow by
1974 he was the Mikado of the whole enchilada in Utah.
On a cold, snowy
January day in 1977, a quiet, but a bit stuffy, board of directors met to
discuss holding a church dance. After the last bit of discussion was discussed,
and the last bit of cookie was eaten, the board agreed that a semi-formal
church dance might be just the ticket to attract more people to the pews. So on
that fateful day they voted to hold a dance on April 22, to be held at the
Capitol rotunda of Utah.
The church’s
pastor, Reverend Alice Jones, later in the week, dutifully sent off a formal
request to the Lieutenant Governor’s office, where one of his duties, among
others, was to book the joint for Gold and Green Balls for LDS stakes. On
polite church stationary, Reverend Jones asked to reserve the capitol dome for
a church dance. Little did she, nor the church’s tiny group of parishioners,
know that this innocuous request would be the catalyst for the “Thirty Year
Homosexual Wars.”
On February 3,
Utah Lieutenant Governor, David S. Monson, and his office, on official state
stationary, (state seal and everything), granted to the fledgling Metropolitan
Community Church of Salt Lake its permission to hold a dance in the capitol.
The Board of Directors couldn’t have been more pleased.
Then less than
two weeks later, a mysterious, anonymous informer placed a discreet but
outraged call to David Monson revealing the true identity of the church.
Perhaps it was the same person who was outraged over the word merlot, some
thirty years later, perhaps not. We will never know. But the effect was the
same! Apoplexy at the highest levels of Utah government! “What! What! Did I
know that the Metropolitan Community Church was a homosexual church! Hell no!
Oh my God! Oh my God!” Can’t you just see Monson turning Technicolor before
having his stroke?
As fast as
Monson’s minimum wage secretary could tear the letter head out of the Corona
electric typewriter, the Lieutenant Governor rescinded permission to hold the
MCC’s dance at the state capitol. On February 18, the distraught board members
read these words; ”Due to the restrictions we have placed on the capitol, and
due to the nature of your organization our permission was revoked to hold a
dance in the Capitol on April 22nd or any other date.” Monson went on to charge that an anonymous
phone call had them check with “reliable sources” which identified Metropolitan
Community Church of Salt Lake as a homosexual organization! Guilty as charged.
However, it
appears that only the Reverend Jones was mortified by this turn of events, and
she resigned, packed her grip, and took the last train to Clarksville or
perhaps it was Des Moines.
Not mortified
was Robert Waldrop. Bob to his friends. “Pain in the Ass” to his enemies. Waldrop
was an Okie who grew up in a Southern Baptist home. To the grief and shame of
his family, at the age of 18 years, he joined the LDS Church and dutifully
served a mission to Australia. However shortly after returning to the states,
he was recruited by homosexuals, grew a beard, shed his underwear, and joined
the Metropolitan Community Church.
After the sudden
departure of Reverend Jones, Bob Waldrop was appointed a “co- -worship coordinator” for the church. Waldrop
rightly realized that an attack against the rights of a Gay church was also an
attack against the Gay community. If Monson wants a war he has to tangle with a
Waldrop first. Immediately Waldrop pushed the board of directors to retain an
attorney, Kendall Perkins, to sue the bastards, I mean, file a lawsuit against
the state. Waldrop became a bull dog and wanted to bite Monson’s ass. And not
in a good way either.
The
church stated in its case that “renting the rotunda for social events was a
common practice among churches, fraternal organizations, etc. blah, blah,
blah.” Kendall said to Monson, “So what if MCC openly admits that many of its
members are Gay? Gay or not, the members of the church paid taxes to support
the up keep of state offices like the Capitol building and yadda, yadda,
yadda.”
Monson
fired back, I have an “obligation to see that public buildings are used for
purposes that meet the approval of the majority of the community, yadda, yadda,
yadda.” He even admitted that his
actions was discriminatory but so what? What’s ya gonna do about it? But to
cover his ass he asked the police if they thought holding a same sex dance in
the state rotunda would incite a demonstration. The police said, “Sure.” Monson then said, “See” and stuck out his
tongue at Kendall.
Well
on March 25, D. Kendall Perkins, Esq.,
brooking no sass from Monson, filed a lawsuit against the state of Utah in
behalf of Metropolitan Community Church of Salt Lake “to compel the Lt.
Governor to allow MCC the use of the State Capitol Rotunda for a dance.”
Uppity queers! The “noive.” But guess what? Based on the fact that Utah
allowed events similar to those held regularly by Mormon stakes, the state was
ordered by the courts to allow MCC to hold a same-sex dance in the sacred
rotunda.
So
why then isn’t Queer Prom being held in the capitol, other than the fact that
it is closed for renovation? Because…..the state’s Sanhedrin, I mean state
legislature would have none of that sort of sissy cavorting and banned all
dances from the rotunda of the state capitol “forever and ever Amen!” Remember when all student clubs were banned
from high schools to keep the homos out? Kinda the same thing here.
All
through the valley you could hear wails of lamentations. “No more Gold and
Green Balls, with all that lovely gold and green crepe streamers, and debutante
MIAs. Those bastard homos! First they ruined a perfectly good word like gay and
now they smashed our rights to hold Mormon dances under the capitol dome! What
do these people want?” It was pitiful.
The
MCC of Salt Lake however held their little soiree anyway on April 22 at the
lovely social hall of the First Unitarian Church on 1300 East. No one seemed to
care that it wasn’t in the granite echo chamber up on the hill.
However
the state did mind. Yes indeed. Utah State Deputy Attorney General Mike Deamer,
wringing his hands in sinister glee, ordered that the MCC hand its membership
list over to state police so they could compare the record with “sheriffs and
police records of known homosexuals.”
The impudent Bob Waldrop said to Deamer, “No! Hell No!” A Salt Lake
Third District Court Judge was even more adamant against the state’s
inquisition and slammed the gavel down on Deamer’s dictates.
Although
by June 1, the dance had come and gone, a vocal group of University of Utah Gay
students hotly quizzed Utah Senator Orrin Hatch and David Monson, who were
speaking before an open forum sponsored by the
Daily Utah Chronicle.
Why was
permission for the dance rescinded? Monson touted, “Based on investigations and
information from the Salt Lake County Sheriff’s office, we felt there was a
possibility outside sources would try to disrupt the dance,… bull shit and more
bull shit.” Monson cited that his
decision was based on that fact that same-sex dances might “incite demonstrations
or pose a threat of damage to the building or hazards to people attending.” He
said everything but, “We did it to protect your queer asses, damn you!”
Kendall Perkins,
attorney for the church, who happened to be sitting squarely in front of the
Republicans, retorted “he was unaware of any instances that would demonstrate a
potential for such disruption.” He also
called Monson in legalese “a big fat liar” saying Monson’s decision to ban the
dance from the rotunda “was made before any investigation took place.”
Then Senator
Hatch, in his coolly detached, pinched Pennsylvania accent chimed in, “I feel
homosexuality is marked by a psychological deficiency and therefore homosexuals
should not be allowed to teach in public schools.” What the hell? A little off topic Senator
Hatch droned on saying, “I wouldn’t want
to see homosexuals teaching school any more than I’d want to see members of the
American Nazi Party teaching school.”
The Ladies for Clean Youth of America smiled and continued to knit. The
Gay students just thunked their heads collectively. Nevertheless both sides did
not blink that day and thus began the Thirty Year Homosexual War in Utah.
26 April 2007-28 April
2007
No entries
29 April 2007
Sunday
This weekend it was nearly 90
degrees
30 April 2007 Monday
End of April and yesterday was the hottest April day on record. It was
89 degrees out by the airport where I live. Spent much of the weekend doing
yard work since last weekend was cold and rainy. Mowing lawns, pulling weeds,
picking up all of Daisy's toys scattered throughout the backyard.
The lilacs are
blooming and perfuming the air. That's nice. I am so glad I put half my front
yard into mulch and drought resistant plants because I think its going to be a
long hot summer.
A lady stopped
in her car and said I had the prettiest yard in the neighborhood. Oh Mary it
takes a Fairy to make something pretty.
Went to Kyle, my
22 year old masseuse, on Saturday to have him work me over. For a skinny kid he
sure is strong and worth every penny. Better then sex. Well since I am not
getting any sex lately I'll take what I can get.
Benjamin Anderson
was mentioned in the QSalt Lake as these new Twinkie Columnist's favorite Cyber
Slut, Bunny. Good for him. He takes the time to develop his character and Cyber
Slut persona which I don't think many young people are willing to do.
Speaking of Drag
I heard as a rumor, which seems to be gathering momentum, that the Royal Court
of the Golden Spike Empire is having a difficult time finding qualified
candidates for Emperor and Empress for next year. Our Salt Lake court system is
32 years old but time marches on. Is it me or is there so much crystal meth
going on that no one is stepping up to the plate to fill leadership positions?
No wonder then that the Lesbians are running everything if the "Gay
bois" are tweaked out.
Oh well ,I did
my duty when it was my era and that sense of pride can't be taken away, and no
pseudo-Pride Day can instill that into you either. What ever happened to when
Pride was equated with hard work, loyalty, and duty?
I am taking this
Thursday off from work because Priscilla has to go back to the Vet again. This
is her 4th time in four weeks. The doctor said there's still some draining and
infection in her anal glands and if it's not cleared up by Thursday he'll have to
do surgery. Poor little girl. Actually she's more like a little old lady at 12
years come this May.
I talked to our
neighbors finally this week when we were both out in our yards. They are
getting ready to put their house up on the market and move to
Elyse who moved
to Florida to go to college said that she was glad her parents were taking
Kayla out of Utah so she won't have to go through the ostracizing of not being
Mormon that she went through. Kimberlee
said Elyse was very bitter against Mormons and I said you can't blame her for
the way she was always made to feel she wasn't as good by the parents of her
Mormon friends.
Tom Poston who
was on so many game shows in the 1950s like What’s My line and To Tell the Truth died today [1921-2007]
Funny that Kitty Carlisle who was a guest on many of the same shows with him
died earlier this month of the 17th. She was born in 1910.
MAY
1 May 2007-2 May 2007
No entries
3 May 2007 Thursday
Well it's already May and I
haven't posted in a while. Last weekend it was nearly 90 degrees and today it
was only 38 degree cold and rainy. I took today off to take Priscilla back to the vet and he said that her
anal glands were still draining so wants to schedule surgery to see what's
still infecting her. So the poor girl has to go in on the 16th of May for that
procedure.
I got a phone
message from a parent of a former student who said she had sent me an
invitation for her daughter's senior recital at the U of U. I had her daughter in
4th grade and now she's a senior in college so do the math and you can tell how
long ago I was her teacher.
Anyway she said
I was her daughter's favorite teacher so I thought hell I ought to go and be
supportive. Wouldn't kill me to get my ass off the lazy boy.
So I looked up
the building on a campus map to see where the Dumke Building was where she said the performance would take
place. Well, the only Dumke building was a gymnasium building but hey it could
have been a new building because I had never heard of it before. This parent
said it was on the 4th floor.
Consequently I
get dressed to brave the cold weather and drive across town to find out when I
get there, that's it's Graduation Day for the U and the parking lots are
packed. Anyway I find a spot, walk across campus to find that the
The fresh young
faces of the college grads in their gowns were fun to see and all were beaming.
It sort of reminded me of my graduation some 30 years ago. I bet Benjamin Anderson
was there on campus somewhere in the crowd because his son Jared graduated this
month.
Disappointed but
somewhat relieved I tried to leave the campus but was caught up in the exiting
traffic jam. It Took me nearly 45 minutes just to get back home.
At home, Kimberlee
Gile, my neighbor called and wanted to come over and visit with Mike Romero and
me. She told me the news I have been dreading that they will be moving to
Montana as soon as the house sells and Kayla gets out of school which is just
in a about a month.
So I sat and
listened how excited she was about the new adventure and everything while
inside I was just incredibly sad at loosing the closest thing I've had to a
family in
Then Mike tells
her how unhappy he is at work and is wanting to move back to Wyoming or
Colorado to be around family which confirmed to me even more that he doesn't
consider me family anymore. He doesn't tell me these things so who knows what
will be changing soon. I think this sense of uncertainty has made me melancholy
and depressed. I don't do well with loss.
In 1988 two of
my main supports and closest friends, John Reeves and Mark Lamar moved out of
Utah as did three of my second tier of friends, Ken Francis, Steve Brackenbury,
and Mike Anderson. I was devastated. I felt like I was all alone again in the
Gay world. So I bucked up got back out and after awhile made some really good
friends also, but one by one by 1995 they had all moved away again.
So then I met Mike
Romero and we have lived together 13 years and bought a house, adopted dogs,
had wonderful neighbors and I thought I was set for life. Well nothing is set
for life. People change, fall out of love, grow indifferent, and move away.
So here I am in
my "senior" years having to start all over again and right now
feeling pretty discouraged. But I know that I just need to learn to be serene
again and in time good things will come again. The wheel keeps turning. I hope.
4 May 2007 Friday
Today so far it's been overcast
and gloomy.
5 May 2007 Saturday
Today is Cinco de Mayo and
Priscilla’s 11th birthday. We really don’t know how old she is but she was just
a puppy in 1996 when we adopted her from the Rawlins, Wyoming animal shelter
for $20.
It rained all
day but Benjamin Anderson and Tom Folks came over and we went out to Chili's
for lunch. I hate national chains because they aren't that great and are
overpriced. It was $50 for four hamburgers and iced tea. Well Tom and Mike
Romero picked up the tab so I shouldn't complain but I did leave a $9 tip. I
guess you pay for the ambiance. LOL
Since Tom helped
paid for my lunch I asked him if he wanted tickets for My Fair Lady for
tonight. My tooth was hurting me and he was excited for them but at the last
minute he was called into work. He's a police dispatcher and I guess some Mexican
Gang bangers were shooting themselves all across the Valley.
So I went with
Mike Romero after all and the play was great. The Grand Theater really does
some things right and Musical Theater is one of them- all but the scenery.
The sets really
were skimpy and you had to envision them more than see them. I am not crazy for
Modern Theater for that one reason. When someone is singing “On The Street
Where You Live” it would be nice to see at least a lamp post. But the singing,
dancing, and costumes where top notch which compensated.
I was surprised
to see that the theater was hardly a fourth filled. It can easily accommodate a
1000 people and if there were two hundred there tonight I'd be surprised. In
fact I think Mike Romero and I appeared to be the only Gay people there, which
is a sad, sad commentary on why Gay culture is going down the drain.
C'mon people
Musical Theater is OUR great art form. Does anyone know show tunes anymore? If
not Gay Piano Bars are soon to become history while Gay youth spew cum at
computer screens. Sad Sad.
Benjamin Anderson
said that even his young date who said he was really into movies didn't know
the difference between Doris Day and Bette Davis! That's tragic!
Where is the
connection to the Devine Divas of the Silver Screen? Even before I developed a
Gay identity, when I was 15 years old, I saw Mae West in an old movie on TV for
the first time and I immediately felt connected with her somehow. Her Queer
spirit leapt at me through the black and white medium to basically say it's
okay to be different and sexy. I didn't even know who she was back then but
immediately search everywhere to find out more about her.
Bette Davis,
Joan Crawford, Tallulah Bankhead, and above all Judy Garland! Pantheon of Gay
Icons. Well I guess those who don't know better are happy to have white trash
Brittany Spears and the late not so great Anna Nicole as their stars.
6 May 2007 Sunday
Confession questions:
1. The phone rings. Who do you want it to be? John Cunningham (love of my
life at 18) or Billy Bikowski (love of my life at 35)
2. Do you take compliments well? no, not at all. Poor self-esteem from
lack of being appreciated for what a cute Gay boy I was I suppose.
3. Did you ever go to camp as a kid? No but I was a camp counselor for a
summer when I was 21. That is how I got my name Ben. The kids all had names for
the counselors and mine was Benji-boo-boo. When I came down off the mountain
Michael Jackson was singing the love song “Ben” and on TV was Gentle Ben the
bear so I went off to a new college telling everyone my name was Ben. I still
go by Ben Edgar which in Hebrew means son of Edgar which is my father's name.
4. What was your favorite game as a kid? Candy Land, and Risk
5. If a sexy person was pursuing you, but you knew he/she was
married...Hell yes marriage is an institution most people are trying to escape.
My purpose in life is to add a little relief to as many men as I can. It's a
sacred calling. Kinda like a Temple Prostitute.
6. Do you drink coffee or coke in the morning? In college Coca-Cola after
living with a caffeine coffee fiend I am now a morning coffee drinker.
7. Could you date someone with different religious beliefs than you? No
Taliban, Southern Baptists, Devout Catholics, or Mormons please. Although I
have to admit that Mormon garments are kind of a sexy fetish.
8. Use three words to describe yourself? loyal, kind, intelligent
9. If your house was on fire, what would be the first thing you grabbed?
My hard drive out the window and all my pups under my arms.
10. Do you think more about the past, present or future? The past by far.
My passion is history and genealogy
11. What color are your eyes? Brilliant Blue
12. Do you look like your mom or dad? I look like my dad, but act like my
mom. (Stole that line from someone)
13. How long does it take you in the shower? Long hot steamy showers one
of the few pleasures of the modern era. I would have loved to have been a Roman
and while away my earthly hours in the pleasure domes of the Baths of
Caracalla.
14. Do you always read MySpace bulletins? I don’t do MySpace. It’s a
generation thing.
15. Ever been to L.A.? Many a time. I grew up in Orange County a suburb
of L.A. I love the taquitos from Alvera Street. I love cruising Santa Monica
Blvd. Hollywood. The old Freeways. The Brea Tar Pits are fun. The Huntington
Library where Blue Boy and other famous paintings are- is a treat. I love all
the funny pink buildings with palm trees.
16. Do you steal or pay for your music download? Guilty but not for
myself but to find very old hard to find songs to teach to my students. Mostly
obscure folk songs and songs from WW II. I used Napster when it was up and
running.
17. Are you a gullible person? Not unless preceded by You’re handsome or
I love you.
18. Are you easy to get along with? Probably not
7 May 2007 Monday
The Weekend went really fast and today was an expensive day. I took today
off to go to Chad Keller’s dentist to have a cavity looked at. My appointment
was at 9:00 a.m. and by 9:45 I hadn't even been seen yet so I was getting kind
of peeved. Chad had recommended the dentist to me but I thought if he's so
backed up this early in the morning something is wrong here.
Then when I
finally get in a chair, I learned that the receptionist hadn't scheduled that I
needed to see him for a cavity but just for a hygiene cleaning. So I never did
get my tooth fixed and I was there for over two hours!
The dentist when
I did see him was nice enough and scheduled me in for Thursday for a pre-root canal procedure which
he can't do until May 31st! Well since they took a bjillion x-rays I decided to
get this done but not sure if I am comfortable with their office practice.
The Service
Agreement guy for the Heating and Air Conditioning didn't get to the house
until 1 this afternoon and the bad news is that all the freon had leaked out of
the Central Air conditioning. There was none. It would cost nearly a 1000 to
find the leak, replace it and then I would still have an old unit that would
probably have to be replaced in a couple of years anyway.
Mike Romero came
home for lunch and we discussed going Green and replacing the hole kit and
caboodle, water heater, furnace, central air. We are having a heat pump put in
instead of central air, replacing the water heater with a smaller more
efficient unit, and the same with the furnace, and we are having some more vent
ducts put in and a humidifier. It's supposed to save us nearly half in our
electricity and gas bills, and the heat pump doesn't give off emissions at all
into the atmosphere.
Mike even saw on
the Internet that we can get a tax credit for the energy saving crap we are
doing. The bad news is that it isn't cheap to go green in the short run but
will I guess in the long run. It's costing about $8800 for all the add-ons and
labor to redo the heating and cooling of the house. So there's at least one
American trying to reduce Global Warming. LOL.
Well I qualified for a year interest free
financing so I don't have to make a payment for a year. It's good to have good
credit. I am not worried about paying it off with what I have saved and a tax
refund next year but I guess I won't be painting the house or putting in new
carpet this year.
8 May 2007 Tuesday
With the news that the Giles are
moving I will have to put a wooden fence between the 20 feet of open space
where I had a chain link fence. The
Giles and we used to visit all the time when ever we were outside in the yard. We’d Pull up a lawn chair and
just gab. Those days are over now. If the people who buy the house have kids,
and they will, I need to put a wood fence up so the dogs won't be barking at
them playing in their own yard. So lots of changes...
Gas is hovering
around $3.05 in
My 4 cylinder
truck has a clutch and I get about 24 miles around town and nearly 30 on the
open road. People are still driving their Hummers, SUVs, and 4 ton pick-ups so
I guess they can still afford gas.
One of the
reasons decided to fix up the house. If can't go anywhere might as well be cool
for the summer and warm for the winter. I bet it's gonna be a wickedly hot
summer too. There's no snow pack to fill our reservoirs either ----it will be
hot and dry I think.
9 April 2007 Wednesday
No entry
10 May 2007 Thursday
It was Root Canal day! I Went
into the dentist at 8:00 and since he said he had time he went ahead an did a
root canal on my bottom right molar instead of doing it at the end of the month
and since I was already strapped in the chair he went ahead and did the whole
procedure. He's an older doctor, older than me, and his years of experience
really showed up. Except for the discomfort of keeping my jaw open it was
relatively painless and he did a good job. My mouth is still numb so I better
not speak too soon.
I then rushed
home to let the heating and air conditioning guy in, but he was already there
with Michael Romero having come from work. So I was kind of a prisoner all day
with my pups in a very warm house because, wouldn't you know it...the temp got
up to 90 degrees! It felt like July more than the first part of May.
Anyway another
guy came and replaced the first guy about 3 this afternoon who continued with
the instillation. This second guy named “DJ” was a dreamboat! He was tall,
blond, a killer smile, and he took off his shirt to work because the basement
was warm and stuffy. When he stooped I could see his fuzzy ass crack. What a
dirty old man I have become ( as opposed to the dirty young man I was) .
The first day
they were able to get the hot water tank installed so we finally had water
again in the late afternoon but we won’t have hot water for showers until Friday.
Songs that were on Billboards Number One Hits
on my birthday over the years were:
2007 ... "Don't Matter"
by Akon
2006 ... "Bad Day" by
Daniel Powter
2005 ... "Candy Shop"
by 50 Cent featuring Olivia
2004 ... "Yeah!" by
Usher featuring Ludacris & Lil Jon
2003 ... "In Da Club"
by 50 Cent
2002 ... "Ain't It
Funny" by Jennifer Lopez featuring Ja Rule
2001 ... "All for You"
by Janet
2000 ... "Maria Maria"
by Santana featuring The Product G&B
1999 ... "No Scrubs" by
TLC
1998 ... "All My Life"
by K-Ci & JoJo
1997 ... "Can't Nobody Hold
Me Down" by Puff Daddy featuring Ma$e
1996 ... "Because You Loved
Me" by Celine Dion
1995 ... "This Is How We Do
It" by Montell
1994 ... "Bump N'
Grind" by R. Kelly
1993 ... "Informer" by
Snow
1992 ... "Save the Best for
Last" by Vanessa Williams
1991 ... "I've Been Thinking
About You" by Londonbeat
1990 ... "I'll Be Your
Everything" by Tommy Page
1989 ... "She Drives Me
Crazy" by Fine Young Cannibals
1988 ... "Get Outta My
Dreams, Get Into My Car" by
1987 ... "Nothing's Gonna
Stop Us Now" by Starship
1986 ... "Rock Me
Amadeus" by Falco
1985 ... "We Are the
World" by
1984 ... "Footloose" by
Kenny Loggins
1983 ... "Billie Jean"
by Michael Jackson
1982 ... "I Love Rock 'n
Roll" by Joan Jett & the Blackhearts
1981 ... "Kiss on My
List" by Daryl Hall & John Oates
1980 ... "Another Brick in
the Wall" by Pink Floyd
1979 ... "What a Fool
Believes" by The Doobie Brothers
1978 ... "Night Fever"
by The Bee Gees
1977 ... "Don't Give Up on
Us" by David Soul
1976 ... "Disco Lady"
by Johnnie Taylor
1975 ... "
1974 ... "Bennie & the
Jets" by Elton John
1973 ... "The Night the
Lights Went Out in
1972 ... "The First Time
Ever I Saw Your Face" by Roberta Flack
1971 ... "Just My
Imagination (Running Away with Me)" by The Temptations
1970 ... "Let It Be" by
The Beatles
1969 ... "Aquarius/Let the
Sunshine In" by The Fifth Dimension
1968 ... "Honey" by
Bobby Goldsboro
1967 ... "Somethin'
Stupid" by Nancy Sinatra & Frank Sinatra
1966 ... "(You're My) Soul
and Inspiration" by The Righteous Brothers
1965 ... "I'm Telling You
Now" by Freddie & the Dreamers
1964 ... "Can't Buy Me
Love" by The Beatles
1963 ... "He's So Fine"
by The Chiffons
1962 ... "Johnny Angel"
by Shelley Fabares
1961 ... "Blue Moon" by
The Marcels
1960 ... "Theme from 'A
Summer Place'" by Percy Faith
1959 ... "Come Softly to
Me" by The Fleetwoods
1958 ... "Tequila" by
The Champs
1957 ... "All Shook Up"
by Elvis Presley
1956 ... "Poor People of
1955 ... "The Ballad of Davy
Crockett" by Bill Hayes
1954 ... "Wanted" by
Perry Como
1953 ... "The Doggie in the
Window" by Patti Page
1952 ... "Wheel of
Fortune" by Kay Starr
1951 ... "If" by Perry
Como
Its
funny but after 1992 I didn’t know any of those songs LOL
11 May 2007 Friday
It was 90 degrees again today. “DJ”
the hunk came back and finished the furnace today inside and worked on the heat
pump outside so by the end of the day we started to have cooling again. He had
to leave at 4 but said he'd come back on tomorrow on his day off to finish off.
I sent in my
vote for the Kristen Ries Award recipient this year. I voted for Todd Dayley so
I guess I have forgiven him for stealing the Pillar from me.
12 May 2007
Saturday
I was home for most of the day
but Mike Romero was also home and he ran and got us some Betos Breakfast
Burritos. I learned yesterday that DJ hadn't stopped working to eat anything so
this morning, being a Mama Bear, I brought him coffee and half of my burrito
which is always too big to eat anyway.
While visiting
found out that he had installed the exact same units in his house that he was
living in with his girlfriend so I was pretty satisfied that if the guys that
work in the business are using the same product then I shouldn't have too much
to worry about.
Anyway after
everything was put in, he found out there was a bad coil for the humidifier and
since it was Saturday, DJ said he'd have to come back later to finish that.
After he left, upon
cleaning up some, I found that he had left a work shirt behind and it smelled
so good. (Wicked I know). So that's my almost fantasy thoughts on my cute
installation man.
After DJ left
Benjamin Anderson , Mike Romero and I went to the Spaghetti Factory in
Taylorsville more or less just to get out of the house. I had been cooped up in
it for nearly 3 days. But the air conditioning is working mighty fine!
13 May 2007 Sunday
’No entry
14 May 2007 Monday
When I went back to work, I guess the kids had just been horrible to my
substitute, so I read them the riot act, and made some of them run around the
goals posts to expend their excess energy, but even then I had a kid who had
his finger smashed in the door by another student, not on purpose, but just by
being wild and stupid.
The room is heating up again so I am running
about 4 fans over which I have to talk, and one girl kept getting a bloody nose
from the heat. Oh well come June 1st another glorious school year will be over.
15 May, 2007 Tuesday
Well it's been an eventful few days I suppose. My principal is so
supportive. When I hauled this one defiant kid's ass down to the office to call
his mom, another student came running down to the office to say the kids were
out of control and Liz just said, "Do you want me to go down so you can
talk to the mother?" and she did! Most principals just give you the look
of "can't you control your class?" Well I can if I am there!
A former teacher
I used to work with at Orchard said that it's really gotten bad over there. One
kid in her class snuck a video camera to school so he could film the reaction
of kids that he bullies and hurts. The Principal wouldn't even suspend him
because he's with the Mormon elites from up on the hill and she didn't want to
take the heat. He was from a "good family." I am so glad I am away
from there.
Jerry Falwell of the Moral Majority who built
the religious right into a political force, is dead. I hope he’s sparking in
hell. Martin Luther Kings daughter Yolanda died today also.
16 May 2007 Wednesday
No Entry
17 May 2007 Thursday
I picked
Priscilla up from the vet today. She had to spend the night after her surgery
to remove her anal glands. That was a $400 bill. Well I should have another
five to six years out of the old girl and don't want her to be suffering ever
few months from infected glands. She is worth every penny.
Valerie Larabee
wrote: Dear Friends As a token of your
service to our community, we would like to offer each of you a complimentary
Gold Passport for the 2007 Utah Pride Festival. That passport will provide you
with admission to each of the incredible Pride Festival activities planned this
year including the Grand Marshal Reception (June 1), Sheena Easton Concert
(June 1), En Vogue Concert (June 2), T-Party and 2-days on the Festival grounds.
If you provide me with a current mailing address I will ensure they are mailed
early next week. If you would like more information about the festival please
visit www.utahpride.org: . I look forward to hearing from you.
I wrote back: Thank you. This is
very kind and thoughtful of you. Do you have Val Mansfield and Kelly Byrnes on
your list? Ben
18 May 2007 Friday
Today was my good friend John
Reeves’ birthday. I called back to Boston, but he didn't pick up so he's
probably out with his hubby Jimmy Hamamoto. I think John is about 75 years old
now.
Benjamin Anderson
called me after the Cyber Sluts Bingo and said that Ron Hunt was in the
hospital from a stroke. He and Todd Bennett are leaders in the Bear Club here
in Salt Lake City and Todd is International Daddy Bear. Ron’s been active in
the community since the 1970’s and before he got together with Todd we once had
a fling
19 May 2007
Saturday
Ron Hunt was released from the
hospital today before Benjamin Anderson and I could go visit him. So it must
have been a mild stroke if there is such a thing. Ron's just a couple of years
older than I am. I imagine they have made him give up his cigars.
Today is Chad
Keller's birthday. He thinks he's getting old and he's only 38. But as they say
it's not the years it's the mileage.
I worked on an article for my history column
for QSalt Lake for most of the morning. I wrote it on the LDS Church's drive to
manipulate the 1977 International Women's Year Conference in SALT LAKE. The LDS
Church was against the Equal Rights Amendment because they said it would
promote homosexuality and kill God-given feminine instincts! LOL.
In the evening
Benjamin came over with his dog Sarah, who our dogs kept pestering. Buddy was
the only one happy to see her and play with her.
We had pizza and
watched "Night at the Museum" because Mickey Rooney's in it. It might
be his very last film. Before that we were all laughing saying we are going to
start a new club called, "THE GARLAND GAYS" to preserve the memory of
Judy which is fading fast from Gay culture.
Judy doesn't
mean a thing to genderqueers and lesbians but by God to baby boomer faggots
she's the ultimate queen. So we thought about having meetings and making blue
checker board frocks and carry around baskets and sing the Man who Got a Way.
All of Judy's songs will be our hymnals and we might even throw in a bit of
Liza's! We would be like a Judy Garland preservationist society where we could
drink to excess, pop pills, marry gay men, and sneak out of hotels because we
can't pay the bills. Our motto could be "We drink like this because Judy
did!"
20 May 2007 Sunday
It's been hot here feeling more like July then May as it was 90 degrees.
My Lambda Lore column- The
Thirty Year Homosexual War’s first skirmish in 1977 was a stalemate. The homos
were kept from dancing in the sacred State Rotunda but alas so were dewy eyed
Mormon debutantes. Not getting their way entirely was something new to the
powers that be in Utah. It did not set well with the patriarchs who were
running things from the LDS Church Administration Building and the Alta Club.
However it was a wakeup call all the same. You could almost hear out on the
streets the hollering of old men saying, “what the hell is going on?” It was clear enough to them that perverts
were proliferating, women were getting
uppity and thanks to that damn
mini-series Roots, the war against the
sons of Cain was all but lost!
A little background on the bug that was
crawling up Utah’s collective behind in 1977. Early in the year the board of
the Metropolitan Community Church of Salt Lake applied for a permit to hold a
dance in the State Capitol, the Radicalesbians feminists had organized Women
Aware, Alex Haley’s mini-series Roots showed that perhaps African descendants
are human after all, and worse of all …1977 was called the International Year
of Women!
In the good ol’ U.S. of A. each state was
asked to hold a conference to settle the eternal mystery of, “What the hell do
women want?” Non-elected President Jerry Ford, after having his titties twisted
by wife Betty, proclaimed “We must confront those inequalities that still
linger as barriers to the full participation of women in our national life,
blah blah blah.” So Utah’s Democrat
Governor, Cal Rampton, duly appointed a
committee of women to plan a state conference
and to set an agenda on what was eating women. No big surprise here,
that Utah’s agenda was a tad bit more conservative than the rest of the
country. This was due to the fact that the LDS Church sent out marching orders
that at least ten Relief Society sisters from each ward must attend the Utah
conference to make sure the brethren’s’ concerns were heard and addressed in
this the Year of the Woman.
What could have sent the benign LDS General
Authorities into such a tizzy wherein the full force of LDS Womanhood was
unleashed? I will tell you in three words. The Equal Rights Amendment. (okay,
that’s four.. quit quibbling). The ERA stated in sublime simplicity: “Equality
of rights under the law shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or
by any state on account of sex.”
Passage of the ERA was one of the top goals
for the burgeoning women’s rights movement in the U.S. The National
Organization for Women (NOW) had a growing number of feminists ready to
mobilize for the ERA’s passage. By 1977 the ERA was on the fast track to become
the law of the land. The ERA was passed by a Democratic Congress in 1972 and
was sent to the states for ratification with a seven-year time limit attached.
Now you needed 38 states to make the dang thing a law. All was going great guns
until 1975 when the ratification movement had stalled at 34 states. So what was
the hold up? The Old Confederacy and the State of Deseret. Wouldn’t you know
it?
In 1976 the LDS First Presidency issued a
statement against the ERA saying, “We fear it will stifle God-given
feminine-instincts,” and that the passage of the ERA would result in, “an
increase in the practice of homosexual and lesbian activities, and other
concepts which could alter the natural, God-given relationship of men and
women.” Don’t laugh. It’s true.
In the March 24, 1977
edition of the Deseret News, an article featured good looking LDS General
Authority Neal A. Maxwell, pondering innocently enough, “Would ERA confer upon
homosexuals any privileges or status not intended?” Hmm, I wonder? Better not chance it.
Figuring
it was an easy sell, the anti- ERA crusaders asked LDS officials if they could
“educate” the Relief Society sisters who would be attending the conference of
the dire consequences of the horrors of unisex toilets, mandatory state funding
of all abortions, and the legalization of homosexual marriage! After all
everyone knew "a vote for ERA is a vote for abortion," and
homosexuals will use the ERA to gain the right to "teach in our schools. .
. and adopt children!”
The LDS Church winked, said no, but
pre-conference teaching moments were held though out the land anyway where
obedient sisters met thinking that the meetings were officially sponsored by
the LDS Church. Plausible deniability is why church lawyers get paid the big
bucks. These sweet sisters were told that the IWY conference was full of hidden
agendas and that their homes, families, and lifestyles were in peril! At these
unofficial meetings Bishop Dennis Kerr,
who was a main organizer, warned about a “Lesbian takeovers, unfair voting
practices, and being subjected to pornographic films at the conference.”
Now this Legion of Dedicated Sisters created
its own problems since Cal Rampton had not foreseen the hit to the checkbook
that this LDS led insurgency would have on the state. “There were no funds, nor
space, nor facilities to support the sudden unforeseen 200% increase in
attendance.” The lines to the ladies
room alone called for the attention of the National Guard to keep the peace.
Utah’s Radicalesbians, having bisexual spies
in most of the LDS Relief Society meetings of their own, in June of 1977
published the “Lesbian Manifesto” in preparation for the IWY battle royale. It
proclaimed in part, “We have been polite, legitimate, and powerless. …The
community will get to know us, fear us, fight us like hell, and do everything
it can to destroy us. By choosing the first alternative, we could exist for
eons. We could live in harmony with all the powerless, pitiable, and pathetic
token organizations that the establishment allows to exits in the name of
freedom and equality. Or we could choose the second alternatives. We may be
destroyed, that is the risk…. But win or lose, we have shown that we will
fight, we will be heard, we will push, we will not accept tokenism.” So take that-- you Sunbeams.
Probably not in retaliation but perhaps, in
the June 18 1977 edition of the Church News, Almost General Authority Barbara
Smith, sporting a power bra, praised beauty queen runner up Anita Bryant and
her campaign to smear “Lesbian and homosexuals”. Like lesbians aren’t big fat
homos themselves? May be Smith was a closeted Lesbian separatist! I digress.
The article’s weekly helpful hint for the harried Mormon housewives was a
reminder for the Sisters to attend the Utah International Women’s Year
Conference.
Here it is. Finally June 24th. The
International Women’s Year state conference held in the Salt Palace in downtown
Salt Lake City. I suspect women roller derby tournaments are nothing compared
to mayhem experienced by the fairer sex of Utah in the Salt Palace. Eventually
the building had to be torn down.
One women who helped to plan the IWY Utah
convention admitted she was “shocked and sickened by the atmosphere of fear and
anger created there” and she was even anti-ERA!. Presenters were shouted down,
booed, and hissed, and sometimes not allowed to speak at all. In several of the
workshops the LDS delegates shouted down women they identified as “feminists,”
sometimes calling them lesbians. Mysterious men, wearing suits and holding with
walkie talkies, herded women around the convention. What’s up with that?
The LDS sisters had a simplest task but a
difficult one for them. After years of indoctrination to say “yes” to
everything they were told, now they were told to vote “no.” All recommendations from the national commission,
every single resolution, was voted down in Utah by margins above 90%, and not
just on issues like ERA and abortion. Women issues such as more effective
collection of child support, enforcement of laws that prohibit employment
discrimination against women, having homemakers covered under social security,
revising of rape laws. All voted down!
Joyceen Boyle, chair of the Salt Lake Chapter
of NOW was panicked with all the blood drained from her face. She felt like
Golden Hair at the Little Big Horn. It was a route! It was a massacre! It was a
shame. (To be continued)
21 May 2007 Monday
The Weather is crazy man. Sunday it was 90! Today rained
all day and 55 degrees. Last week was my last full week of school since I am
taking off this coming Friday to have the furnace guy finish up. I've had about
six fans going in my classroom so my throat is raw when I get home from talking
over them but today it was jacket weather.
The rotten kids
are getting rottener knowing school is about out and not much more I can do to
contain them. I’ve been having the kids play the game Diplomacy at school and
that does help.
22 May 2007 Tuesday
I fixed some yummy Taco Soup for
dinner. Mike Romero is taking the rest of the week off so he will be home with
the hounds.
I need to call
It's $3.15 down
the street but closer to $3.20 else where. I want to go see Mom in Vegas in two
weeks. That's a 1000 mile round trip. I get about 25 miles or more on the open
road so it will cost nearly $150.
Out here in the
west where we are 100's of miles from other cities the cost of gas is hurting
traveling at all. Oh well. It will be my one trip and then stay home.
Here’s another survey courtesy of
Tony Jones, my Little Rock, Arkansas pen pal.
1. .What is your
full name? Edgar Hugh Williams Jr.
2. What are you
most afraid of? Karl Rove
3. What is the
most recent movie that you have seen? The
4. Have you ever
seen a ghost? Nope but heard it walking down the steps. So did my mom.
5. Where were
you born?
6. Loved someone
so much it made you cry? Yep
9. Been in a
serious car accident? nope
10. Do you plan
to have any more children? I have none now so can’t plan on having more. Become
a school teacher. That will cure you from wanting kids. All your male siblings
and patrilineal cousins carry your same sex chromosome so if you don’t have
your own you carry on through them without the headache, heartache, and
expense.
11. Favorite
Restaurant? LaFrontera for some good Green Chili
12. Favorite
Flower? Iris
13. Favorite
color? Periwinkle
14. Favorite
Drink? Diet Dr. Pepper
15. Favorite Ice
Cream? Burnt Almond Fudge
16. Favorite
fast food restaurant? Apollo Burgers
17. How many
times did you fail your driver's test? 1- whoops. Forgot to turn my head around
backing up all though I used all my mirrors. I was 16.
18 Favorite TV
show? Ugly Betty
19. Ford or
Chevy? GM
20. How many
pets do you have? Three Schnauzers and one Daschund mix
23 May 2007-26 May 2007
No Entry
27 May 2007 Sunday,
I certainly was a busy little bee today. I told Benjamin Anderson that
I'd give him a ride this morning because his truck needs brake work and he had
a rehearsal for the Cybersluts' Priscilla Queen of the Desert at 10 a.m. He had
had made two frocks for his Bunny character and wanted to pick them up also.
So Mike Romero and
I drove out to 45th South and Highland and there he was, with his pink knee
highs, flagging us down with a butterfly wand. So after picking up his
accoutrement's and his beautifully coifed pink wig off, we went to drop him
off.
He knows he
won't be able to perform on Thursday because Tuesday he is having exploratory
heart surgery! I said just call me when you are ready to come home. At the
house I made potato salad and was making baked beans when Ben called to come
get him around noon.
We had a pre-Memorial
Day luncheon with cheeseburgers, baked beans, potato salad, pasta salad, and
chips. Tasty. Ben had to show off his two frocks and they were fun. He wanted
me to try them on so I did.
When I told him
I had planned on going to Affirmation for it's 30th Anniversary Celebration at
5, Ben said he wanted us to go in camp drag. I pulled out some old stuff I
have, what Gay guy doesn't have a frock stashed for special occasions? He took
some pink feather boas and trimmed what I had to make it look festive. We
laughed and although we had said let’s go to Affirmation in drag we chickened
out towards the end, because those religious queens can be SOOO serious.
Anyway at the
United Church of Christ in Holladay there were only a few people there at 5
p.m. Connell O’Donovan, "Rocky" as I knew him, was already there and I was
shocked to see him in a white shirt and tie looking so old! LOL.
I asked, “what's
with the tie. When I last saw you, you were burning them in Memory Grove as
symbols of patriarchal oppression!” He laughed and said he was
"reclaiming" them.
We visited
during the pot luck and I nearly made him choke laughing when I told him I had
been excommunicated from the Restoration Church for saying Tony Feliz couldn't
shit without having a revelation! LOL
Ben Anderson and
I forgot to bring anything to the potluck with all the running around we were
doing so we just had a bite of cake when this big Samoan guy came in.
Ben choked and
said that's the guy from St. George who had been cyber-cruising him! I started
laughing because he had on the same identical
Well I have to
admit the turn out at the Affirmation was underwhelming. I thought surely there
would be around 100-150 people there. If there were 60 I probably double
counted! And all but two or three were old men like me over 50 years old! No
wonder Gay organizations are dying if they are not relevant to young Gays or
young Gays are too self absorbed to be part of a collective consciousness.
Ted Wilson,
former Mayor of Salt Lake was there to hear Rocky and so was a founder of a
Black Mormon group called Genesis. Rocky's talk was typically Rocky but had
some details in his history that I didn't know which was informative about the
founding of Affirmation. But when he was bawling at the beginning like at an
LDS Fast and Testimony meeting I was about ready to walk out.
Ben Anderson was
rolling his eyes and was really annoyed about the whole Mormon business. But I
told him that sometimes you have to look back to gage how far you have
journeyed and this event was that for me.
While it was
good to see old acquaintances like Steve and Spencer Barker and some others, in
reality my Affirmation days are as far removed and irrelevant to where I am
today, as my elementary school days. I really feel for those who are
perpetually stuck like the Ground Hog Day movie, never moving never
progressing. It's kind of like it's own version of Mormon hell.
We left right
after Rocky's talk without saying goodbye and decided we really needed some
queer energy. So we went to Ben's place, put on some Camp drag and drove over
to the Sheraton Hotel in downtown Salt Lake where the Royal Court of the Golden
Spike Empire was holding their Coronation.
As we hopped out
of the truck and Bunny put on her wig these French tourist stopped us and asked
if they could take our picture. So if you see two old tired looking drags with
glitter in their beards floating around on the Internet it will be us!
So we enter the
hotel and instead of paying the $40 admission we just said we were with the
sluts, I tossed around Chuck Whyte’s name, and we waltzed in and crashed the
party.
Chevy Suburban,
who was on official CyberSlut duty, saw us and was so happy; like we were with the cavalry, since he was
the only one other slut who had showed up, and she was about to have to do the
walk on presentation. Therefore she grabbed Bunny and me, all the time I’m protesting,
"I'm not a slut! I'm not a slut", but she threw my ass up the run way
and so I did the walk as “Sissy DuBois” waving to all as they cheered me a a
phony slut.
My only saving
grace was that Coronation was tiny this year. They say it was the lowest turnout
ever. I would be surprised if 300 people where there. I bet more like 250. I
remember the days when 1200 was not an unusual amount.
There were no table center pieces, or any
floral pieces to speak of. It was A very scaled down affair. Former emperor.
Michael Sperry told me that Coronation did little more then break even this
year. Well What can one expect when half the court community is mad at the
emperor and the other half can't stand the empress who ran unopposed last year.
And no one ran for Emperor or Empress this year! First time in it's 31 year
history!
The past
monarchs got together and voted during the fourth act and selected Alan
Anderson and Sheneka to be this years Regent Emperor and Regent Empress. Chuck
Whyte was whooping and a hollering when the results were announced around 12:30
in the morning.
By that time
Sissy du Bois and Bunny were a faded blur of pink. We were exhausted! Bunny's
blue gown had left a trail of blue glitter every where she sat, match by my
trail of pink feathers.
One really
bizarre thing happened to Bunny tonight. This drunk straight woman came over
and started fondling her big pink hair. She started like almost humping it
while Bunny was sitting. Bunny looked to me for help but I didn't want to get
involved. I was afraid I would be attacked next with those boobs rubbing up
against me!
This inebriated
chick kept saying to Bunny, "I have five children...but I will aways love
you. Always. I will always love you!" So about the only action either one
of us got tonight was some drunk woman humping Bunny's hair. Even it went limp!
It was good to
see some old friends that came into town for Coronation from out of state like
Bruce Barton and Bruce Harmon. Bruce Barton was a former pastor of the Resurrection
Metropolitan Community Church here in Salt Lake City and Bruce was the 15th
emperor. They both started the Gay Pride Parade here with Bruce Barton sewing
basically single handedly a 100 foot long rainbow flag that is still carried in
the parade although I doubt whether anyone involved with "Pride" day
would know that now.
The Bruces and I
bonded when we went to the March On Washington in 1987. I took the train and
didn't have a place to stay so the invited me to crash at the hotel in
Any who we were
exhausted and wanted to go home but Chad Keller, the bitch, kept promising that
there was going to be high drama as soon as the new Monarchs were announced and
I was expecting a bitch fight royal but it was a bust. Chad was blitz which
surprised me because of his meds he told me he hadn’t had any alcohol in
months.
So I took Bunny
home and by the time I scrubbed the glitter out of my goatee it was nearly 2
a.m. before I crashed. I am waaay too old for this shit anymore.
28 May 2007 Monday
I stayed home to recover from
yesterday but I wrote Mark Swonson about the Pride Day passes, “Mark I have a
Gala Pride Passport that was given to me for being a former Ries Award
Recipient. I am going to be out of town that weekend to go visit my mom on her
birthday in Vegas. Can you use it? It's the 100 dollar pass to all the events.
I think you are about the only one I know who would go to everything and who
deserves it. Let me know soon so I can try to give it to someone else, Thanks
Ben.
“This year's
Pride Festival is going to be like no other! The festivities start on Thursday
night with the Pride Interfaith Service & the Damn These Heels Film
Festival.
On Friday night
the pre-weekend activities liven up with a Grand Marshal Reception & none
other than Sheena Easton LIVE in concert!
“Wake up on
Saturday, June 2 and join us on festival grounds in the heart of Salt Lake City
at Washington & Library Squares for a full day of fun starting at 11:00am
and continuing until 8:00 PM when 90's R&B quartet En Vogue takes the stage
for a live concert!
Also, don't miss
the Opening Ceremonies taking place at 7:00 PM on the Pride Main Stage. Other
events that day include the annual Dyke March and Political Rally!
On Sunday
morning arrive early to get great seating for the annual Utah Pride Parade.
Starting at 10:00AM, the parade will travel to the festival grounds where the
party continues, starting at 11:00 AM! This year we've taken the festival to
the next level!
Both Saturday
& Sunday, come and enjoy more than 120 wonderful exhibitors and vendors.
Got kids with ya'? Check out this year's magical Kid's Arena (toddler-12). The
Youth Zone offers a cool place for Queer Youth (13-18) to hang out, enjoy
shade, popsicles, volleyball, and more with special guests, like the Drag Queen
Enforcers.
Our "Taste
of Pride" Food Court will certainly please any palate. And did we mention
beverages? Brew brought to you by the King of Beers, Budweiser, flowing in five
locations. And this year we introduce the "Bacardi Beach yep, that fun and
sunny spot for you to relax, take off your shirt, suntan, play volleyball with
mates, and enjoy a Bacardi Slush, brought to you by Cactus and Topicals).
Coca-Cola
products are in abundance, including performance waters and Dasani.
"Coffee Grounds" will provide a cool and refreshing, iced latte, tea,
or coffee (and "coffee house" entertainment to boot!).
This year we
introduce three venues of terrific entertainment. You'll find a toe-tappin'
musical and enjoyable good time all day from noon until 6pm at the Pride Main
Stage (NE corner of Washington Square), the Pride Community Stage (south end of
City County Building) and the Coffee Grounds acoustic stage.”
29 May 2007-30 May 2007
No entries
31 May 2007 Thursday
Well it's the last day of May and there's a change in the air. Our
neighbors said they had an offer on their house from a Spanish speaking family
from
I had about ten
cavities filled this morning so didn't make it to work today and besides
Priscilla needed her stitches taken out.
My friend Ben Anderson
is in poor shape. His exploratory heart surgery revealed that he only has about
80 per cent use of his heart. So next week all his doctors are meeting with him
to tell him his options. So no matter what it's like they say. If you have your
health you have everything.
Tomorrow is the
last day of school and Saturday I am heading to Vegas to visit my mom over her
birthday. Viva
JUNE
1 June 2007 Friday
It’s the last day of this school
year and the kids were excited but perhaps not half as excited as I am. I am heading
down to Vegas for a couple of days... Yes! The rumor is true!
2 June 2007
Saturday
I left out early this morning and
was down in Las Vegas by 3 in the afternoon. It's about 6 and half hours to 7
hours getting there from Salt Lake depending on the amount of stops.
I gassed up at
Cedar City for $3.27 a gallon but was surprised to find that Las Vegas's gas is
cheaper then Salt Lake City at about $3.11.
It’s Hot, Hot,
Hot, in Vegas, around 104 degrees. I really didn't do anything the rest of the
time but visit with my mom and my sister Charline.
3 June 2007 Sunday
I am so glad I came down for
Mom’s 78th birthday. I took her and my sister and brother-in-law Dennis
Wachs to Boulder Station for Mexican food. My mom told me that she had never
had a birthday cake for any of her birthdays. That surprised me.
So I went and
bought her a birthday cake and a dozen yellow roses. She was born in Texas so
yellow roses are her favorite.
I am not much of
a gambler so didn't play the slots but once and of course lost. The glitz and
glamour of Vegas is fun if you are with others who want to party but otherwise
Vegas is pretty dull.
4 June 2007 Monday
I’ve developed a very stiff back
while in Vegas and I don't know if it was from the ride down, the fans blowing
on, or going in and out of cold buildings but I was pretty miserable for most
of day and told mom I needed to be back home.
The U of U Daily
Chronicle wrote “A group of U Queer Student Union members and their friends
hangs out at the club's tent at the Utah Pride Festival on Sunday in Washington
Square. The tent sold club T-shirts and encouraged festival goers to sign its
mailing list. Pride Festival provides sense of community, security for
homosexual students By: Jared Branch
U students
joined thousands in downtown
The group talked
with several incoming U freshmen that were curious about the organization and
the experience of being gay on campus. Their message: You're secure at the U.
Catie Howell,
vice president of the QSU, said the LGBT Resource Center provides a much-needed
sense of security and community on campus for queer students. "Having that
safe place is really important (to LGBT students)," said Howell, a
sophomore in English and gender studies, of the center.
John Spillman,
an intern for the
5 June 2007
Tuesday
I came home to Salt Lake today and
just kind of feel run down. I think it’s because I was on the go and hyped up from
last week because of school ending and then I went on a fast quick 900 mile
round trip.
6 June 2007 Wednesday
Well I am back from Vegas. It was a short visit but long enough. Today
it rained like crazy all day and the temps have dropped down into the fifties.
One extreme to the other. Mike Romero said he took my pups Daisy and Buddy to
their first Gay Pride Day Parade on Sunday. Smokey went too but he's been to
several.
Buddy and Smokey
are little fag dogs anyway with Smokey always trying to mount Buddy and Buddy
just stands there being Smokey's little butt boy. Smokey is the daddy for sure.
Well got to make it short and just go to bed.
7 June 2007-11 June 2007
No entries
12 June 2007 Tuesday
It's been a few days since I last written anything posted. I didn't want
to bore with the mundane problems of being sickly. I must have picked up some
crud in Vegas because I felt lethargic and achy all week and yesterday I had a
deep cough. So much for Vegas' Motto of What Happens in Vegas Stays in Vegas.
I am also feeling rather overwhelmed with
putting up a privacy fence between my neighbors yard and ours because I am not
much of a handyman. But I can bake a cherry pie!
The Gile’s house is sold and they will be gone
come July. While the rest of my yard has a wooden fence, we left a chain link
fence between us so we could visit. One estimation for a 40 foot cedar fence
was $800 but if I do it will still cost about $400. Because I am afraid the
dogs will be barking at the new neighbors all the time through the chain fence,
it's pretty pressing that it get done now. Oh the joys of home ownership.
My house sits on
about a fifth of an acre and the huge yard is getting to be a bit much for me
as I am growing older. But I love my house and my yard since I planted every
tree, every bush, every blade of grass. So I have an emotional attachment to my
yard from building and maintaining the old homestead.
The Salt Lake’s
housing market has taken off too, so if I moved from my house I would probably
only get 2/3 of the space I have now, unless I want to take on a larger
mortgage. We saw in an older neighborhood (1930’s), a small house on a nicely
landscaped lot going for $279,000. The closer you move to the east side of Salt
Lake City the more you are paying for housing.
New Condo’s down
town are $300,000 to half a million. Salt Lake City used to be a fairly
inexpensive place to live but not anymore. I saw that a 500 square foot studio
condo was $130,000. That’s about $30,000 more the I paid for my entire house
ten years ago.
Mike Romero says
we should think about moving into these new houses closer to downtown that are
4 bedrooms for $240,000. I don’t know. I’d hate to be house rich and cash poor.
Well I better just go mow my lawn.
13 June 2007 Wednesday
No entry
14 June 2007 Thursday
I wrote to an old friend named Don Penrose who
lives in California now: This is Ben Williams. I noticed that you said in a SL
Tribune comment section you wanted to contact me so here I am.”
Don Penrose “Sideon
aka Donavan” wrote back “Howdy, from
California. This is Don Penrose. Once upon a time, I was with Doug Fenstermaker
- back in the late 80's and up to the mid 90's. It's been a very, very long
time since I saw you and have no idea whether you remember who I am or not.
I've been in
I had been
seeing your name in some of the Tribune comments and thought I'd try and
contact you that way - the email that I sent through the SL Metro didn't go
through. If you need a picture because you don't remember who the hell I am, I can send one, easily. I've wanted to
contact you for a long time, because you were such a big supporter and mentor
for myself (and Doug) when we were first coming out, years ago. I hope this
finds you well! -Don Penrose”
I responded: Of
course I remember you...you cute thing. You and Doug were both important parts
of my life too. I am glad you try and kept in touch with your roots. It helps
you see how far you have come.
I am still
teaching school but hope to retire in six years. I am 56 years old, fat, and
bald ha! I am everything young Gays fear...LOL.
But I own a
house now, (the old Juel Apartment on 6th East has been torn down), live out by
the airport, have three schnauzers, and a mixed dachshund that keeps me busy.
The SL Metro
has become QSalt Lake owned by Michael Aaron. I write a bi-monthly history
column for the paper. That's about all I do anymore in the community is get
trotted out once in while when someone needs some information because I am like
an unofficial historian.
Rocky Donavon
was back in Salt Lake from San Jose for an address on the 30th Anniversary of
Affirmation. He looked liked an old Mormon Bishop LOL! Well since so many
others from that time have passed a way I guess getting old is a blessing.
Other than that I am a curmudgeon.
I tried to
revive Beyond Stonewall last year but was having difficulty with the YMCA over
Camp Rogers so have decided to let fate keep it a very special memory. If you
ever see Doug any more please tell him hi and that one of my most special
memories is him taking me to Affirmation in his limousine and everyone was on
the lawn wondering who was coming to Affirmation and out popped me!
I hope you both
are well and enjoying life. Time passes so quickly. My cell phone is 801
631-8243 and address is 1633 Fernleaf Street SALT LAKE, UT 84116. If you ever
come back to Utah to visit I'd love to go to coffee. Take care. Your friend Ben
Williams”
15 June 2007-16 June 2007
No entries
17 June 2007 Sunday
I was asked by Duane Jennings and
his partner Brian Bennington, who are co-directors pf Affirmation to share my "Coming-Out
Stories" in a Workshop/ Discussion lead by Adam MacKay, a licensed,
Clinical Social Worker.
18 June 2007 Monday
A new group called the Just Q
Council for the “LGBTQ 20 somethings”. It’s geared towards “providing 18-30
year olds, with opportunities for community, fun, and activism. Join Us For:
BBQ- Meat, Vegetarian, and Vegan Provided Games- Kickball, Volleyball, and
Frisbee Date”
19 June 2007-20
June 2007
No entries
21 June 2007 Thursday
Mike took off today since today is his 51st birthday. I
fixed him some Teriyaki Shish Kabobs for dinner and got him a Marie Calendar
Chocolate Silk Pie. I also bought him membership to Triple A for his birthday.
We are on our own here so it’s a comfort to know we can get help if something
goes wrong with the car.
We went to IKEA today
to buy some blackout shades for the movie room. They are the only place to have
them. They really darken the projection room to watch movies on the big screen
with the projector.
Ben Anderson
came over to watch Sunset Blvd. I couldn't believe it when he said he's never
seen it! Anyone who has not seen Norma Desmond descend the stairs and into
madness should have their Gay card revoked!
22 June 2007 Friday
No entry
23 June, 2007 Saturday
Well it’s the second day of Summer and Mike Romero and I spent the
morning putting up a 42 foot cedar fence. It looks pretty good for two old
faggots. It sure makes the yard look really different though. The back fence of
Randy and my yards is 200 feet long so now putting in a side fence cuts off
half of the distance. But I like it. It makes the yard really look finished.
Chad Keller called
me to go with him to the Farmers Market at Pioneer Square but then he canceled
because he had forgotten that a friend was coming over to help him put a bureau
together. He wanted to do a late lunch but I was exhausted from having put up the
42 foot long fence and I told him I'd take a rain check.
It’s been hot
here over 100 degrees for the past couple of days and dry as a bone.
I've about
finished hauling the flag stone paving rocks to where I want them and putting
down mulch. That's been a project in itself. My fingers ache.
Mike Romero and
I have been watching the first season of BIG LOVE on DVD. It cracks me up.
Years ago I used
to know some polygamists but don't anymore. I love the way the show makes Utah
seem a bit wacky because it is! Next weekend our neighbors will be moving off
to
24 June 2007-25 June 2007
No entry
26 June 2007 Tuesday
Horrible, horrible news. I heard from Kevin Hillman that
Chad Keller is dead.
27 June 2007 Wednesday
I hardly know what to write after hearing last night about the death of
my dear friend Chad Keller. I had gone to bed yesterday when Kevin Hillman
called me to tell me he had some terrible news that Chad had died. He said that
So he asked
Kevin if he would go over and check on him and he found him in his bedroom
already dead. Kevin thinks he may have died sometime Monday night from an
overdose.
Chad had been in
poor health with Hepatitis C and had just told me last week he was fighting
with the insurance company because they were trying not to pay for his meds
because they were going to be nearly a $1000 a month.
I am still in shock. I went over to his place
this morning to retrieve my ladder that I lent him last fall. We had a running
joke about the ladder in fact he was to bring it over last Saturday.
His neighbor was
watering the yard and I told him who I was and that I had come to get my ladder
before things got crazier with people stopping by and Chad's family coming to
clear out his things.
Chad had been
bugging me for weeks calling me to ask when he could pull out his Pansies. I
said if they are bothering you take them out already and I saw that he had and
I started to cry. It really hit me how much work he did to make his little spot
on earth beautiful.
Depression is a
terrible curse. It robs us of some beautiful and fabulous people. He was on 38
but probably lived life fuller then most people twice his age. I can't believe
some one with that much charisma and life force is gone. I've been weepy all
day.
People have been
emailing me and calling me asking about what happened with Chad because as
unofficial historian I suppose I am also the town gossip. But every time I replied
to requests, I start to sob so I guess I
am a bigger mess then I thought.
Well at least
Kevin Hillman emailed
me that the funeral will be held in Thatcher Idaho about three hours from here
on Monday. I do want to go but I know it will be a Mormon funeral and I just
don't know if I can handle that. I would like to see
Gay Freedom Day
is Saturday which is a pet project of
I had Ben
Anderson over for most of the day and told him that he better not die on me
this year. I don't think my old heart could take anymore grief.
I guess because
you bake when you are grieving, I made a big cheese cake. Have no idea who’s
gonna eat it. Just needed to be busy I guess.
This Thursday is
my dear friends and neighbors moving day and I've been so sad about that for so
long I am surprised I have any tears to shed over Chad. But Chad said he always
looked up to me as a mentor and he was kind of a connection for me to the Gay
community of today.
Courtney Moser
who had Chad as a room mate in his Logan Utah days sent me a little note that
brightened my day. He wrote: “Ben, Did Tim Keller ever tell you that up at the
Bear Lake retreat, the pretty young guys had planned on Sunday Morning to storm
into your room naked and pounce all over you? They were very disappointed to
realize that you had already left. They all thought you were great.” I replied
back, “No it’s the first I heard of it. Ahhh lost opportunities. Would it be
too obvious if I had been laying on my stomach? LOL I have been weepy all day
over Chad so this really brightened my day. I know Chad could really be a pain
but I really loved him and miss him so much.”
I reread Chad's “360
Blog” and his “Yell Out” which said, "friends are always friends no matter
what".
Even though I am only 56 years old I have lost
too many of my friends at too early of age for too many years. I sometimes feel
like more of my friends are ghosts now then alive. May be that's why I enjoy
living in the past so much because that's where most of the people I love are.
But like Bette Midler sang so long ago, "Ya Gotta Have Friends"
Courtney Moser wrote
a sweet memoir of Chad, “Tonight, I was shocked to hear that Chad Keller had
passed away. So I thought that I would take a few minutes and jot down some
" Chad " Stories.
Chad was a very
interesting person. He could also be a very polarizing person. People either
tended to like him or to really hate him. He also had incredible drive and
endless creativity.
When I very
first inched out of the closet and started attending the Gay and Lesbian
Alliance of Cache Valley in March of 1989, Chad was one of the more active
people in the organization.
As summertime
approached the GLA was preparing to take the summer off and not hold meetings.
At this time Chad was the only person from GLA that I had a phone number for so
he was my only contact to the Logan gay community.
At this time I
was "trailer trash". I owned a 3 bedroom mobile home and rented out 2
of the rooms. Since I was coming out, I now wanted to have gay roommates so
that I would not have to hide in my own home any longer.
I called Chad to
see if he knew of anyone who was looking for a room to rent. He said that he
was, and we made arrangements for him to move in.
That spring I
attended a Metropolitan Community Church worship service in Salt Lake when
Carol Lynn Pearson was the guest speaker, talking about her new book "Good
Bye I Love You". I liked it so much and felt so good there that I decided
that when summer time rolled around and the student wards at Utah State
University combined for the summer, that I would conveniently get lost in the
shuffle and start going to the Metropolitan Community Church .
I would drive
down to Salt Lake each Sunday morning in time to get to the 11:00 AM worship
service. After church I would usually go hang out at the Backstreet Bar for a
while until Affirmation meeting in the evening then go home late Sunday night.
WRECKING THE
CAR- After Chad had seen me do this for a couple of months, he decided that he
would like to go with me to the Metropolitan Community Church. So he started
riding down with me each week.
Later that fall
the Salt Lake Acting Company produced La Cage Aux Folles. We decided that after
church, we wanted to go to the Sunday afternoon show so we decided to dress up
in tuxedos and to take wine glasses and drinks to the theater.
Since we didn't
have anywhere in Salt Lake where we could change we wore our tuxes to church.
So we are all dressed up in tuxes at about 7:30 am on a Sunday morning, and
Chad said he needed to check his mail box before we left Logan.
So we are
driving up 100 west in Logan on our way to the post office, when the tape
player in my 1975 Buick Electra ate the tape. So I have my head down dealing
with the tape player when all of a sudden the Buick slams into the back of a
Logan City Service Truck which was stopped at the light. Neither of us were
wearing seatbelts and Chad was thrown forward into the windshield and his lip
was bloodied. Nothing happened to me.
The truck we hit
was pushed way out into the intersection and the back end of it was kind of
messed up. The Buick was unscathed. The guy in the truck called the police on
his radio. While waiting for the police, Chad was trying to tell me to tell the
cops all of these different excuses and stories, none of which would even be
remotely true.
I could see that
this could get messy so I just told Chad to stay in the car and be quiet. When
the "cute" cop arrived he got out of his car and before he could say
anything, I ran up to him and exclaimed that "It was all my fault!!"
He ended up
giving me a ticket for inattentive driving which I later found out from the
insurance company that he really let me off easy. The cop looked in the Buick
and could see Chad in there and he asked, "Is your wife okay?" to
which I lied and said, "She's fine."
Then the cop
thought that it was weird for me to be in a tux and I told him we were on our
way to a wedding. Anyway, we still made it to Salt Lake to church and to the
theater. We sat at the little table in the very front of the theater and almost
felt like part of the production. It was wonderful. I especially remember
Walter Larabee as being part of the cast. I had seen him at affirmation before
and was impressed with his talent.
THE GENDER
BLENDER CONSPIRACY- Each fall Judd West would host the "Gender
Blender" Halloween party for GLA. It just so happened that David Crane and
Steven Burch had developed a dislike for Chad and did not want him to attend.
The Gender Blender was the extreme highlight of Chad's year.
Here is the
story: One day in early October 1989 I came home from work and found a single
rose and a card addressed to Chad lying on the porch. I became jealous. I was
becoming active in the Logan Gay community and was wishing that I had a boyfriend,
or even a single date.
I took the card
inside the house; Chad was not home. Later I went to the grocery store to get
some things and ran into David and Steve. They asked me how was everything
going and I sort of gave them a sob story about Chad having secret admirers and
feeling sad because I thought that I was a nice guy too but no one was sending
me any flowers.
They confessed
to me that they were the ones who had left the card signed from a secret
admirer and that they had invited Chad to attend a special audience costume
contest performance of La Cage Aux Folles at the Salt Lake acting company the
same night as the Gender blender.
The "secret
admirer" instructed Chad to come in costume ball gown) to the theater and
that a ticket would be waiting for him at the will call window in his name and
that he would find out the identity of the admirer when he got inside the theater.
Steven and David
said that they only told me this because they were feeling sorry for me and
didn't want me to think that Chad was getting so much more attention than
anyone else. They also swore me to keep this secret.
When I got home,
Chad had opened the card and read the instructions and was on cloud 9. Flitting
around the house trying to figure out where he was going to get a good enough
dress for the night. I tried to gently dissuade him from going, without blowing
Steve and Dave's cover. I said that I wouldn't trust someone who would not sign
their name etc. I thought that I had him talked into not attending.
On the Saturday
of the Gender blender I was at work. At about 11:00 am and I got a phone call.
It was from Chad . The first words he said was, "It was a set up. It was a
set up." He had borrowed (without permission) a dress from the theater department
at USU and gone to Salt Lake as per the instructions on the card. He had
discovered that it was not for real, but his car had quit on him and he would
not be able to drive back to Logan.
Then he started
to cry and asked me if I could drive to Salt Lake to pick him up and bring him
back in time for the Gender Blender. I explained that I would not get off work
until 5:00 pm and would not be able to get him. Then I reminded him that he
knew a lot of people in Salt Lake several of whom were planning to attend the
Gender Blender and that he should try and get in touch with them and catch a
ride.
Tragedy averted;
he was able to make it back in time. That night at the dance he lip synched to
Bette Midler singing "Otto Titsling" and was fabulous.
THE MRS.
REVEREND KELLY BYRNES- After having Chad attend Metropolitan Community Church
services with me for a while, people started to say that we were a cute couple.
I was interested in finding a boyfriend and if people thought we were together
that would not be good.
I
immediately told Chad that we could not sit together in fact we must be on
opposite sides of the room from now on. Chad had noticed Kelly Byrnes and had
decided that he would like to date Kelly. I had also noticed Kelly and had some
interest, but since Chad had expressed interest, I just backed off.
Kelly taught the
Sunday School at 9:30 am on Sundays. Chad decided that if he was going to catch
Kelly that we needed to be at Sunday school. That meant getting up at 6:00 am
on a Sunday in order to make it there.
We would arrive,
I would sit in the back nursing a Diet Coke trying to stay awake while Chad
would be all attentive and goo goo eyed trying to get Kelly's attention. Chad
even went to Reverend Bruce Barton and asked advice on how to woo Kelly.
Bruce, being the
wise man that he is, knew that Chad was not Kelly's type and so he deliberately
fed Chad incorrect information that would really be off putting to Kelly
instead of attractive. We would come home and Chad would flit around the house
saying, "The Mrs. Reverend Kelly Byrnes, it suits me don't you
think." He would even practice writing it down on paper.
This went on for
several weeks. In December I had 3 weeks off work so I decided to go and stay
in Salt Lake with my friends Chuck Welch and Jerry Monson. I didn't tell Chad
where I went or when I would be back. I was busy participating in all the
Christmas activities at the Metropolitan
Community Church etc..
Well It just so
happened that on December 28th 1989, while we were cleaning up the Metropolitan
Community Church building, Kelly Byrnes asked me out. That's when we started
together, which is another story for another time.
On New Year's
Eve, I went to the Affirmation Party held at the Unitarian Church. Just before
entering I spritzed my mouth with Listerine mint spray to freshen my breath. I
immediately ran into Don Jenny from Logan. He smelled the mint on my breath and
thought I was drunk on peppermint schnapps. He reported to Chad in Logan that I
was drunk off my ass on New Years and had really fallen in the gutter and was
really whore-ing around.
I got back to
Logan a few days later and Chad started questioning me about where I had been
and what I had been doing and that I was getting a bad reputation. I told him
what I had been doing and that in fact I was not whore-ing around, Kelly and I
had started dating. He immediately shut up and left the room.
Later
that day a huge bouquet of flowers arrived for Chad . He wouldn't tell me who
they were from. Come to find out later from the florist that Chad had sent them
to himself so as to appear to have a suitor.
Later in the spring of 1990 Chad
moved out of my house. We still associated lots while he still lived in Logan
and kept in touch after he moved to Salt Lake .
Many Others
also who wrote tributes. Rob W. wrote: For My Best Friend, to all my friends
out there who may read this, today is by far a sad day for me. Today I found
out my best friend and soon to be the best man at my wedding passed away late
Monday night.
The world is
now a sad places for that Chad is gone- some in Utah may say good he is gone-
to you who say that- did you truly know Chad- to that I say no you did not know
Chad.
Chad was the
one who brought you some great party's that you all went too. It was Chad that
made going out too the bars fun. He helped bring the gay rodeo to Salt Lake.
Chad was my
true friend and I'm truly going too miss the fun times we had-- from moving a
brass bed through the streets of salt lake feeling very like Mary Tyler Moore
when we did it lol. He was truly the Mary and I was the Rhoda in the friendship
I had with him.
Chad was a
friend with wild ideas on what he wanted to do for parties and even greater
Ideas to help out the gay community. Sadly, those plans he will never see come
true. The one thing I can say about Chad he was the greatness in all his
friendships and tried too make sure his friends knew how great they were and
that he believed in them and all that they could do.
Chad I miss you
and wish I had the chance to tell you what you really were to me. You were my
best friend and help with the bad times and the good times you help me in so
many ways you will never know how much you help me out. You are truly my best
friend and my life was better to have known you and you will be missed by me
and your true friends, which did take the time to know you. Those who did not
know you missed out.
Ruadhan “Kevin Warren” Sheridan Wrote: “Just a small story about a small thing Chad did that made a big
difference. Years ago when I was an officer in LGSU, Chad helped plan some of
the LGBT Awareness week at the U. He also arranged that there could be a
"kick-off" party at Bricks on Sunday evening.
Chad and I
arrived at Bricks that Sunday afternoon to set everything up. He had brought
boxes with crimson table cloths and University of Utah centrepieces as well as
balloons, rolled paper for a banner and other decorations. I had no idea he had
pulled this all together.
As we went to
work, Ralph, aka Empress Sheneka, who just happened to be in the area hopped on
board and helped us decorate the whole place. There was a great crowd and the
party was a smash!
Then I helped
Chad pack everything up and brought him home. Chad not only had great ideas,
but he knew how to execute them.
News of his
passing has kind of shaken me a bit. I thought he was too ornery to die before
the age of 110. I am going to miss his one-liner, drive-by posts, his
exhortations for accountability and ethics and his wit and sarcasm.
Stuart Merrill wrote,
“I'm so sorry Ben. I know he was a good friend of yours. My heart really goes
out to all his family and friends. I broke both my arms last week and had
surgery on one arm Friday. I'm still not feeling great, especially in the heat.
But I definitely want to attend the service. I just can't stay in the heat to long. Please keep me posted.
Someday I would
like to sit down with you and have a long conversation about how certain
advocates in our community are treated quite horribly by the very community
they work so very hard to serve. I hear other people say all gay communities
are this way. However, I strongly disagree. I've lived in 17 cities and 6
countries, and I've never seen such cruel viciousness. It really breaks my
heart. Stuart
28 June 2007 Thursday
I wrote to Kevin asking “how are
you holding up? I've been weepy all week but that's okay. Do you have anymore
info on
Kevin Hillman replied
saying that Chad's funeral Services are going to be held on Monday July 2nd in
Thatcher Idaho about 2 1/2 to 3 hours north from Salt Lake. He also said, “I am
doing well and things are going really well with his family. The viewing is at
10:30 am to 11:30 am and the service is at noon. This all at the Thatcher Ward
House Just so you know it will be a closed casket because of the condition the
body was in when I found him and it is best that way And of course you can come. As soon as the
brothers get me the directions I will let you know. The brothers are being very
inclusive and it has been nice.
I guess it’s not
like Snow White where you get to lie in a glass casket looking stunning,
although I am sure Chad would have wanted it that way. If there isn't going to
be a viewing I might just go to the Salt Lake Memorial. I am not really
thinking straight I suppose.
Mike Picardi wrote
me saying, “hey bud, I am out of town, but received notice of Chad's death.
What happened?? Was he sick?? and will
there be any type of service?” I wrote him back what I knew.
Mark Swanson
wrote saying, “Chad was character! But then I think he was misunderstood for
visions of what he wanted the community to be. It had been quite a while since
I last saw him. He was a great man with good passionate heart for what he
believed in. Let me know if there is anything I can do.”
Michael Bytheway
an Q Salt Lake editor wrote me, “Thanks so much for the help in getting Chad ’s
info to me. I’ve attached the article to this email. It is amazing how fast it
filled up my available space. I’m thinking we may have to do something else in
the next issue. I hope I handled it alright. I kept hearing him yelling at me
while I was writing it. “Page 11 ?!? I should be the front cover. I should at
least get a full page…”
But now that I
hit send on that last page to the press, it’s starting to hit me, so I’m going
to end here. Thanks again. –I’ve told Chad that I love him but I’ve never told
you that I love you. I do.”
29 June 2007 Friday
This kid named Rob who is a close
friend of Chad Keller contacted me writing, “hey Ben this is Rob Chad's friend. I have been hearing some
strange stuff about Chad's death I need too know if it is true what was said,
for myself. Chad will all ways be my
friend and will always be on my mind. When I last talked too him it was Sunday
and I asked him too to be my best man at my wedding to David, he was very happy about making a trip to Vegas and
the wedding.
So what I really
want too to know how is it that Chad died ? I have received an e-mail saying
that he O.D. on pills is this true ?? Thanks for the info on services for Chad.
I don't think I can make the one on the 2
of July but will make it up for the one on the 8th thanks rob.”
I wrote him back
that I heard that Chad Keller had committed suicide from an overdose of pain
medicine.
Courtney Moser
wrote regarding Chad’s funeral: “Myself and Tim Keller are planning on driving
up to Thatcher to attend the funeral. If any Salt Lake folks plan to venture
past the end of the world, (aka Beck Street), We would be happy to meet up with
you here in Logan and escort (car pool or caravan) with you the rest of the way
to Thatcher.
Tim and I are
both Idahomo's and speak the native
peculiar Potato/Sheep dialect of English and will be able to translate for you.
We could meet in the parking lot of Boarders Book store on the corner of
Thatcher is
about 1 hour North of Logan and that will give us ample time to arrive. Let me
know if you are interested and we will wait for you. Oh by the way, allow
yourselves about 15 extra minutes to get to Logan because of the construction
on I-15 through Ogden.
I finally wrote
Mark Thrash, Chad’s roommate. “I am sorry it’s taken me all week to write to
you. I hope you have had lots of support and love this week. There are a lot of
people who care deeply for you. You know how I feel. love always Ben. PS don't
even hesitate to ask for anything I can do. Take care of yourself.”
Don Penrose
wrote me today after contacting him a few weeks ago. “Hey there, Ben! Sorry to
get back to you so late! I was thrilled to get your note - thank you. 56?
That's it??? You're not old, and you're
not something that young guys fear - no way.’
“Ben, I turned
39 this year. My partner is 51 *grin*. I tease him that he's with a Mormon
Boy... and he just laughs.”
One, I'm not Mormon, and two, I'm sure not a
boy anymore and I have the white hairs in my goatee to prove it.
I'd heard about
Rocky going back to Utah - I had no idea he'd be looking like a bishop, though!
LOL!!! I got in contact with him last
fall. Small world, eh? He's one of the first guys I met when I was in high
school who I knew was gay. We used to go dancing with mutual friends at the old
Bay in Sugarhouse. Gawd, those were the days.
I have you phone
number and info - I will call, because I think it'd be great to talk to you!
Here's my info as well: 925-451-9177
(cell) 925-825-0471 (home) 4365 Cheltenham Court Concord, CA 94521
I've had a blog
about a year and a half now. It's a random mix of gay, ex Mormon, pagan, and
fiction/poetry. The last year I've tried to incorporate more gay aspects - I
was getting really tired of the Mormon or Exmormon posts.
If you're
interested, take a peek here. ( http://sideon.blogspot.com/) One story I've been working on in
installments is called 'Season of Truth" - the feedback has been really
good so far. Anyway - I better sign off before I type your ear off :) Hugs and love. I'll talk with Doug this
weekend, probably, and I will say "hello" to him for you! Be well.
–Don
I wrote back: My
are you handsome. Aging well like fine wine and cheese. I've been pretty sad
for the past few days. Tuesday Kevin Hillman called me to say that my friend
Chad Keller committed suicide Monday night. I've been really weepy over that.
Chad and I were going to go to the Farmers Market last Sat. but canceled and I
was busy building a fence. Last thing I told him was I'd take a rain check. I
don't know whether you remember Chad or not.
Monday I am
driving to Thatcher Idaho for his funeral since I have the time off. Attached
is a picture of Chad and me at an Easter Bonnet shing-dig of the Trapp.
You can get
QSalt Lake on line to keep in touch with going ons in Salt Lake. I write a
history column for it.
If you are
interested in Mormonism and Blood Atonement I have a Yahoo Group Site called
Utah's Dark History. I'll attach you to the site and just delete it if you
want.
It's really hot
here over 100 degrees. Hope you are staying cool.”
Don replied: Hey
there, Ben. I'm so very sorry to hear about Chad Keller. I left a phone message
a bit ago (at least I hope it was your number I dialed!). I would love to read
more of your writing. I'll try and find QSalt Lake online and read up on the history.
Please add me to Utah's Dark History - my yahoo id is: fuzzykaos_eb
Love the picture of you and Chad at the Trapp. I haven't been there in
AGES. I miss Utah every now and then, believe it or not. The community was
tight and I knew everyone (or so it seemed).
Here in the Bay
area?... there are more groups than I could possibly imagine. The most my
partner and I do are weekly dancing with a group of GLTB square dancers :) Yes, SQUARE DANCING. A few more pics,
attached. Hugs to you, Sir Ben. -Don
June 30, 2007 Saturday
Here it is the end of June. Today was Gay Freedom Day and the Parks
people wrote on the reservation sign "The Keller Reunion". I had
forgotten when I reserved the park for the day back in March and they wanted a
name and I said it was the Keller Family reunion. So it was kind of a pleasant
shock to see the sign when I arrived. In fact I only went because
Kevin Hillman
didn't show up with a BBQ so Michael and I ordered Pizzas. It was a much
smaller turn out then last years but that was okay. I talked and visited with
people I knew and that was enough.
The
I came with Mike
Romero and Ben Anderson, we sat in the shade, and it was nice to have a picnic
in the park.
This morning I
said my teary goodbyes to our neighbors of ten years before going to the park.
I didn't want to be home when they drove off and out of our lives. Randy
however said he'd be back in two weeks to retrieve items from the garage that
he couldn’t fit in the van and we said we'd watch the house for them. The sale
failed through of the people who were going to buy the house.
Well its been a tough week with Chad’s death and
the Giles leaving me.
Michael Aaron
called and said he wanted to car pool with me up to
I am tired so
will sign off....Sorry for being such a downer.
GAY FREEDOM DAY
When: Saturday, June 30th, 2007 11am-4pm Where: Harmony Park (one block west of
Paper Moon) Why: To Celebrate the 38th Anniversary of the Stonewall Rebellion
What: A carefree day in the park, with BBQ, information booths, music,
volleyball, friends. How: Free event sponsored by QSaltLake Pride 360, and Utah
Stonewall Historical Society Be Here Be Queer!!! For more details pick up June
15th Issue of QSalt Lake
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