Summer 3rd Quarter Journal 2013 July-September

 

 

JULY

1 July 2013 Monday

Well here it’s July and its blistering hot. The year is officially half over. Nineteen young men died in Arizona fighting a wildfire…horrible.

I canceled having the Air Conditioning guy come out because it all seems to be working fine now, which is weird. Levon Mirakyan and I went to the gym in the afternoon and I walked 2 miles in 30 minutes. Not bad for a 62 year old I suppose. Really didn’t do much else.

I took a nap while Levon made a Russian potato salad with carrots and peas and ham in it. It was pretty tasty. I also finished off the quiche. I got a large cucumber out of the garden today. That was exciting ha!

In the evening I had Ben Anderson, Mattia Lumaca, and Bill Poore over for dinner with Levon and me. I bought a pizza and made a salad and a cake. The Romaine was sour in the Salad. I should have tasted it first. It’s hard to keep things fresh in this heat.

 There was no measurable rain in all of June and Saturday broke a record at 105 degrees.  After dinner we had a nice visit. Ben was being Ben his usual quirky self… but the evening was nice. We were going to watch a movie but Bill needed to get back to his place and Ben started to feel ran down so we ended the evening about 9:00.

I let Bill borrow the Vizio television set that was in my bedroom because he didn’t have a small television for his new space. For the rest of the evening, Levon and I visited and watched some movies on his Russian channel until going to bed about midnight.

I wrote this letter for Ben Anderson to give to his immigration lawyer- 1 July 2013 To Whom it May Concern, My name is Edgar H. Williams aka “Ben Williams” and I am a U.S. citizen born in Texas. My address is 1633 Fernleaf Street, Salt Lake City, Utah, 84116.  I am both Ben Anderson and Mattia Lumaca’s friend.  I have known Ben for 23 years and Mattia for about 5 years now.  I first met Ben after he came to Affirmation, an LDS support group for Gay and Lesbian people here in Salt Lake City, and later he attended some other support group I also attended. 

I met Mattia after he came to the U.S. to visit Ben after they had been corresponding for some time via email and other social networking media.  Mattia and Ben seemed to hit it off really well and soon considered themselves a couple, and after four and a half years together were legally married in December 2011 in New York City, New York.

  Ben Anderson and I became close like family, with him living with me and my former partner off and on over the course of the years. During this time I became well acquainted with Ben’s son, Jared whom I have known since he was about 14 years old and now is in his thirties and married himself.

Ben Anderson, when he was healthier, and I have taken several vacation trips together, and when he has lived out of the state of Utah my partner and I had visited him on several occasion.

Ben is a funny and gregarious and generous individual who has overcome many adversities in life that have just made him a stronger person which he still is, in character, but his body is not keeping up with his spirit as he ages.

 

 It has been a difficult situation for both Mattia and Ben, keeping their relationship viable; considering Mattia status in this country.

Ben’s health has always been frail but in the mid 2000’s he became seriously ill with diabetes and heart issues as well as having his thyroid removed.  Mattia has been the main health care taker for Ben since they have been together and has been instrumental in keeping track of Ben’s health needs and concerns.

Without Mattia I truly believe that Ben’s health would have failed completely. The love and devotion that Mattia provides for Ben is truly remarkable and I have seen Ben thrive and be able to do many things I think he could never have been able to without Mattia.

Ben’s health is so frail that it is crucial that he has a Veteran Administration clinic and hospital nearby.  While trying to live in Europe with Mattia, the VA in Europe could not adequately provide Ben’s health needs. Salt Lake City provides these needs for Ben.

I have been a minor provider of support and care compared to Mattia. I have visited Ben many times in the hospital and stay in touch with Jared but Mattia is truly Ben’s spouse and is crucial that he is part of the team that is taking care of him.    

I have been a school teacher for 26 years in Utah and for much of that time Ben and I have been friends and I know with Mattia’s love and support; we can remain friends for many more years.          

While I have not known Mattia as long, I have always been impressed with his education, his work ethic, and his love and devotion for Ben. They are a family and they need to be provided the opportunity of staying a family but in the U.S. the country that provides Ben the best medical needs.

Thank you so much for your careful and compassionate consideration of this matter. If I can offer any additional information in support of this family please contact me.  Yours Truly

 

2 July 2013 Tuesday

Got my morning chores done before the heat of the day... Lawn mowed, yard watered, dishes done...Yay...

 Levon Mirakyan didn’t get up until after 9 this morning when he had to be down in Sandy for a 10 O’clock meeting with his lawyer. I rushed him over to Brent Pace’s office  downtown who was taking him down.

Levon worked at the center when I got back so I had some time to myself today. I went shopping and made a pasta salad. At 3 O’clock I went back down to the center again to meet with Levon’s asylum team. It consisted of Charles Frost, Brent Pace, and David Jones who was taking notes for the woman who was on vacation. It was good to see who was doing what.

Levon is going to get a free bike through the Bike Collective that Brent wrote a letter for and he is trying to see about getting a UTA bus pass for Levon. In the evening Levon made some chicken salad and a Russian potato salad which should be tasty for lunch tomorrow... We watched “Bad Teacher” tonight which was just Cameron Diaz fluff.

Bill Poore asked if I wanted to go see “Once Upon a Mattress” at the University of Utah. He said he could try and get three tickets if Levon wanted to go but Levon didn’t want to go because he said he doesn’t like plays but I imagine it’s more of a learning English issue. Bill can get two comps being an adjunct professor.  So the tickets are free for him. I said that a Saturday  matinee would be good.

 Before going to bed Charles Frost called and he gave me the low down on Jim Dabakis and Steve Justesen’s relationship. Jim is in love with Steve but Steve is not in love with him according to Charles and that is why Charles said it was awkward for him to see Jim propose to Steve in front of all those people on the 26th. The picture of Jim down on his knees is making international news.

Jim met Steve, who is a Mount Pleasant Boy, when Steve was just 17 and he loves him still today even though Steve has HIV, been a crack meth user, and a basic all around whore. Charles said he had done several interventions for Steven on behalf of Jim and told of the onetime Steve had a nervous breakdown when the tornado destroyed Club Axis they both owned. Steve was partying heavily at an orgy with Kent Frandsen this meth drug pusher when the tornado hit.

Charles sent me an article of Kent Frandsen who was when arrested so stone out of his mind that he was nude with a butt plug up his ass watching kiddie porn!

“Salt Lake City man pleads guilty to having child porn BY MELINDA ROGERS THE SALT LAKE TRIBUNE PUBLISHED JANUARY 11, 2011 6:27 PM This is an archived article that was published on sltrib.com in 2011, and information in the article may be outdated. It is provided only for personal research purposes and may not be reprinted. A Salt Lake City man charged in federal court for possessing pornography, including images of himself with young boys, has pleaded guilty to the crime. Kent Peter Frandsen, 54, pleaded guilty this month to one count of felony possession of child pornography. U.S. District Judge Dee Benson ordered Frandsen to undergo a psychosexual evaluation before his scheduled May 17 sentencing. Frandsen faces a maximum prison term of 10 years in prison and a fine of $250,000.

Salt Lake City police arrested Frandsen in September. They found him sitting nude at a computer watching pornography when they served a search warrant on his home near 1900 Wasatch Drive, according to charging documents filed in 3rd District Court. Police obtained the search warrant after Frandsen allegedly sold methamphetamine to an undercover officer. But during the drug raid, they discovered pornography and methamphetamine, cocaine and needles, charges state.

Confidential informants told police Frandsen kept pornographic photos on his cell phone that showed him sodomizing young boys. One of the informants also told police he witnessed several boys having sex at Frandsen's home and knew of more photos on Frandsen's computer that detailed him having sexual encounters with young boys, according to charges.

Another informant told police he saw Frandsen have sex with boys and that Frandsen gave them drugs to make them feel "out of it," charging document state.

Frandsen admitted to investigators after his arrest that he owned pornography featuring a 3-year-old and said that he had made arrangements to meet three young boys at his home to have sex with him, charges state.

Frandsen was charged in state court with three first-degree felony counts of sodomy on a child, 10 counts of second-degree felony sexual exploitation of a minor and several drug charges. That case was dismissed in favor of prosecution in federal court, where he was indicted in October on one count of felony possession of child pornography.

Accused child sex abuser arrested in undercover sting  September 24th, 2010 @ 3:45pm KSL SALT LAKE CITY — Undercover police officers investigating a suspected drug dealer arrested the man for child porn and sodomy after he showed informants pictures of himself and several young boys engaging in sex acts, prosecutors say.

Kent Peter Frandsen When the police served a warrant at the man's residence at 1865 S. Wasatch Dr, the 54-year-old man was undressed while sitting at a table looking at a computer screen with pictures of nude males on it, according to charges filed in 3rd District Court on Thursday.

Police received information from a confidential informant that Kent Peter Frandsen, had shown him a laptop with several pictures of young boys engaged in sex acts with him, charges state. A second informant told police Frandsen gives the boys drugs to make them feel "out of it," according to charges.

Prosecutors say Frandsen admitted post-Miranda that he does have child pornography on his computer and there is a file containing videos and photos of child porn involving a 3-year-old. "He was charged with three different individuals but there are numerous photographs and information contained on his computer that were many more than that," said Salt Lake County District Attorney Lohra Miller.

Charges state the defendant also admitted to arranging a meeting with 3-year-old boys at his residence to have sex with them. "We were surprised because we see him on a regular basis walking his dog and he's a very calm person and seems very polite," said neighbor Katya Hinson.

Frandsen was arrested and booked into Salt Lake County Jail on $1 million bail. He was charged with three counts of first-degree felony sodomy upon a child, 10 counts of second-degree felony sexual exploitation of a minor, distribution of or arranging to distribute a controlled substance, a second-degree felony, and three counts of possession or use of a controlled substance, a third-degree felony.

"The items that were recovered off his computer and his phone obviously led to the charges, but also gave us grave concern for the welfare of the children," Miller said. In a statement, Frandsen told police he was planning to move to South America after the ordeal was over. "If we have our way, he'll spend the rest of his life in prison," said Miller. ---- Story compiled with contributions from Lana Groves and Sandra Yi.

Co-worker sticks up for man accused of sexually exploiting minors 2 come forward to claim defendant is HIV positive By Pat Reavy@DNewsCrimeTeam Sep 27, 2010, Kent P. Frandsen Salt Lake County Jail  SALT LAKE CITY — A co-worker of a man charged with numerous counts of sex acts against children says she doesn't believe all the charges against him.

Kent P. Frandsen, 54, was charged last week in 3rd District Court with three counts of sodomy on a child, a first-degree felony; 10 counts of sexual exploitation of a minor, a second-degree felony; and four drug-related charges.

Since then, people who know the man have come forward to say he is HIV positive, and they're concerned for the young victims in the case. Prosecutors say they are aware of the allegations and are looking into them.

A relative of Frandsen, who asked not to be identified, said she called police on Friday to let them know about his alleged illness. "He has been HIV positive for about a decade, and he has talked very openly to me and other family members about his HIV status," she said.

 

A man who says he was Frandsen's partner in the 1990s said Frandsen didn't tell him he was HIV positive and he got infected.

The man, who also asked not to be identified, said, "I'm reminded of him every day of my life when I have to take a handful of pills every morning. It's completely affected my life and will affect it until the day I die."

Police went to Frandsen's house to serve an arrest warrant after he sold an undercover officer $40 worth of methamphetamine, according to charging documents. When they entered the residence, they found Frandsen "sitting at a table completely nude looking at a computer screen with nude males on it," the charges state.

A confidential information told investigators he saw pictures on Frandsen's cell phone and laptop of him engaged in sex acts with young boys. A second informant told detectives Frandsen would give the boys drugs to get them high and have sex with them. One informant told police that Frandsen had told him "he prefers boys between the ages of 12 and 14," the charges state.

Frandsen told investigators after he was arrested that he had child porn on his computer, including one file that involved a 3-year-old, court records state.

A small amount of cocaine and "several bags of meth" were seized from Frandsen's home, according to booking documents from the Salt Lake County Jail.

Frandsen is the president of Aspen West Publishing and Distribution in Sandy and has authored two cooking and how-to books, "Where's Mom Now That I Need Her?" and "Where's Dad Now That I Need Him?" Aspen West has been in business since 1984, according to its website.

A woman who answered the phone at Aspen West on Monday said the company was still open for business. The woman would not give her name but said she helped manage the business. She said Frandsen is openly gay and that he probably did have porn on his computer and drugs in his home. But she does not believe the allegations of child pornography involving a 3-year-old are true.

"I do not believe the exploitation of minors charges against him," she said. "He doesn't have the profile of secrecy like a child molester. He never has contact with children in the neighborhood.

"I think the drugs, they're an issue for him. I don't think they're wrong on that. He is what he is and he's never represented himself different to me," she said. "I've never considered him a potential threat to the children. There are many people who have addictions to porn and drugs. I just don't see him as a bad guy."

 

3 July 2013 Wednesday

I got a call from Michael Ferguson asking if I would pick him and Seth Anderson up at the airport this morning which I did. It was good to see them and I know they were exhilarated and exhausted. Michael looked too thin. I said I’d fatten him up… They said they might be going back to Japan in October for a reality show about Americans searching for the best tea in Japan…they are so stoked about that!

Levon Mirakyan wasn’t up until nearly 11 a.m.  He wanted a case to protect his Apple laptop and he went on line and found one on eBay for $15. I set up a PayPal account so he could pay for it through me. I must say I was leery of PayPal after all that Kyle Foote did on it.

Speaking of Kyle Foote I am keeping looking for a letter from him every day but none comes. Perhaps our visit was too hard on him. Or perhaps he got all he needed from me. I can’t dwell on it.

After having some lunch we went to the gym. We were both a little tired today…I didn’t have as much oomph… probably the heat although I have been drinking my Vita Life shake in the morning.

In the late afternoon we went to the liquor store to buy some wine and even though I was buying it they wouldn’t sell it to me because Levon didn’t have his identification on him…I was so pissed. So after taking Coco home we went to the downtown liquor store and I had Levon stay in the car… Utah is so damn lame.

Well in the evening we went for a drive out to the Great Salt Lake because Levon had never seen it before and then we had an Arctic Circle ice cream cone before heading back to the house.

I read more from Janet Evanovich’s “Explosive Eighteen” of the Stephanie Plum series and went to bed. However Levon invited Nate Curry, whom I met last Friday at the open house for the Pride Center, over so I straightened the house up a little. Even though he was coming over to see Levon I couldn’t have him see a cluttered house. LOL…Levon is crushing on him big time.

Garth Chamberlain is back in town and wants to meet for lunch next Tuesday at The Other Place. It will be nice to see him again. He was such a shit when he was young…but aren’t we all.

Friday I am taking Chuck to the hospital to run some tests for his disability…however his insurance wouldn’t pay for the stress test and it would be $1900 for it out of his own pocket so he won’t be having that done. The other is to see if he has a bone infection in his leg. A professor at Weber State University was let go for criticizing the naming of a family college after Boyd K Packer.

 Connell O'Donovan wrote me “Hey Ben - FYI, Rozwell, Klaus, and Dustin want to hold the next Heart Circle sometime around the 22nd (full moon). They're trying to work it out amongst themselves date and time wise...hopefully they can figure something out soon! I'm fucking HOT as hell! LOL My AC works about as much as I do!!!” I replied, “My AC went out last Friday but got it working again... If it becomes unbearable come over and sleep in the movie room.”  Connell answered, “I haven't been able to sleep before 5:30 am for FOUR nights now! Thanks for the offer my love...But I'm fine so far, as I don't have to get up at any particular time.”

 

4 July 2013 Thursday

I Woke up at 3:15 this morning by a loud thunderclap and then a deluge of hard rain for over an hour. Then there was a steady rain until 5 a.m. I left the bedroom door wide open to hear and smell the rain from outside...we certainly could use it... Not a drop of rain fell during June. It Brought temps way down too...

On this day men sign their death warrant for declaring independence from Great Britain and King George... My ancestor Britton Williams was caught and hung by the British for his belief in self-determination and in life liberty and the pursuit of happiness for his posterity.

I wanted to go to the movies today but Levon Mirakyan didn’t so I called Bill Poore, Mattia Lumaca, and Ben Anderson to see if they did. I know Bill wanted to see Superman and so did I with reservations, because if they changed his costume what else did they change?

Well I took Levon over to Pearce Danner who lives up near the University then off to the Century 16 on 33rd for a 2:00 showing. Superman, Man of Steel was the worse movie I had seen in ages... It destroyed the whole concept of Superman... While the company was good the movie sucked and was just special effects and long, long fight scenes...  Another reason I am kind of done going to the movies was all the dumb people coming in late and expecting to find seats by crawling over everyone.

I was home by 5:00 because decided I didn’t want to go out to dinner with Ben and Mattia but I did sign the letter I wrote to their immigration lawyer that he had revised. I know that is one of the reasons they agree to go to the show with me.

Anyway when I came home and I saw that Pearce and Levon were shut up in his room downstairs and had been in the hot tub.

I just cleaned up a little, fed the dogs, and waited for them to come up for air.

Pearce left about 7 and I went into the hot tub myself and was surprised when  Levon joined me to tell me all about his escapades. We soaked for about two hours; I think watching the neighborhood fireworks go off overhead.  It was a nice way to spend the 4th of July soaking in a hot tub with a naked 23 year old.

Levon kept asking if he could get AIDs from being with a guy and exasperated I finally said, “ NO you can't get AIDs if you don't fuck.” He is so worried that he will get sick....Poor kid, he thinks he has to carry the weight of his family’s opinion and catching AIDs would be the most shameful thing.

Bill Poore commented, “Totally agree about Superman. They were so busy with special effects they left the humanity out of the characters; they also did not let Superman be sexy, super dumb move having such a good looking actor, then not use his best qualities. It was fun being with Ben, Ben and Mattia.

 Lois and Superman should have had sex. someone should have had sex. Very boring film.” Then he added, “I think I will take you up on the offer to store my paintings. I can’t ask Janice, would not ask my niece, so if I leave then at the U they would not be as safe.....so maybe I will over the weekend.  I will feed you and drop the painting off as well.”

Bisquick, sour cream, 7up and butter!.... These are excellent!!!! So easy and soooo good! Will be making these from now on! Recipe is hard to find so here it is: 7 Up Biscuits 4 cups Bisquick 1 cup sour cream 1 cup 7-up 1/2 cup melted butter Mix bisquick, sour cream and 7 up. Melt butter in bottom of cookie sheet pan, and put shaped biscuits in, then Bake at 425 until golden.

            Charles Frost messaged me wanting to know all that went on with Levon and his adventures. He said, “He is so innocent. Sounds likes he is getting plenty of action, which is good. Eventually that ass is gonna get fucked. He's got rubbers--which is good. Pearce loves his ass fucked. Trust me.”

            I replied,  Levon is an innocent but getting more experience all the time lol”

Charles Frost said then, “It's good. Part of the getting through the coming out phase. He needs to be concerned but not neurotic.”

Charles Frost “Did he volunteer what happened sexually, or do you ask him?”

 Ben Williams I replied, “ I did not ask. He couldn't wait to tell me... I just listened.”

 

Charles  then said, “That's good. You are his grandpa, roommate, friend.”

I responded, “Mama too. He was like a boy with a new toy ...He fixed dinner the other day.  He's eyeing guys at the gym too lol. Levon said Nate just slid it up and down his crack And now Levon’s worried he'd get aids from that. Neither one blew each other... I said why didn't you 69 but he thinks he can get AIDs from a blow job and I said there's hardly any chance of it. He has read all these misinformation books and then thinks he knows it all.. The real reason he didn't want to see Renee his counselor anymore was because he thinks she was an annoying lesbian who didn't like gay men having sex.... That is what he said... I don't know her at all.”

Charles Frost responded, “She was very nice to him, and not pushy whatsoever. She is a very cool lesbian--trust me. With a lot of information. She wanted to take him to lunch and ice cream. I guess that's pretty cool. His misinformation is going to get him in trouble, or guys are only going to date him a couple of times, until he gets his information correct. He needs to grow up and culturalized. It's like he's still living in Armenia.”

I said, “He will… but it takes time...he's only been here 5 months And while here, with Armenians. I am the first American he's lived with.”

Charles Frost said, “That's true, but he's smart, and he knows what he doesn't know. So he needs to take responsibility to get his ass educated. It's not that hard. Otherwise--trouble is around the corner.”

I continued to defend Levon saying, “I think he will... It's not been 2 weeks that he's moved out of  the Jackson apartments.”

Charles Lynn Frost replied, “I agree. But he's horny, and he needs to get FULLY informed. It's not your job, it's my job, and it's his job. So I am going to talk to him when I get back. I am his case manager at UPC, and I need to talk to him honestly about all things in this era of his life.”

I responded, “I think it's best that you talk to him about the facts of life but he's sincere about feeling he can't just do anything he wants because he is responsible for his family's welfare in Armenia.”

Charles Lynn Frost said, “I understand that. Asylum is JOB #1. He needs to get focused, be responsible, get his citizenship, do good work, take care of himself in all ways. Otherwise--I am going to keep on his butt! I just want him to be informed, and maintain balance, and focus on the highest priorities. Was his dinner good?

 I said, “I keep telling him the same...focus on asylum but he's 23 and his dick gets hard. Yes he made Russian potato salad and garlic chicken salad...he's home now

I then said, “He really likes Pearce and Nate so it's not totally a slutty thing.”

Charles Frost added, “He needs friends. Pearce will go slow, but Nate is a lot more of sexual creature. He will want more from Levon than ass crack rubbing.

Ben Williams I like Nate but don't know his back ground. He's with the Episcopalians I believe. I am not the best judge of character.... I take everything on surface value

Charles Frost then got serious and said, “ These conversations MUST be private. He told me he reads what you tell me. So, please don't compromise that. Ok.”

Levon Mirakyan then chimed in saying, “Hey guys, it's Levon. Sorry for reading your stuff on your old iPhone, Ben. Messages keep coming, and you know how curious I am. I will reset to factory settings tomorrow morning. Charles, I am very well informed about immunodeficiency virus. We use Internet in Armenia.  Recently my immune system has been weak due to insomnia and cigarettes. Hence, my throat was a little red, and I was concerned about even kissing those guys. I do volunteer what happens sexually. Guys were very experienced, but both, kind of seemed bottoms to me. Despite their claims of being tops. Who cares though! I liked Rene very much! It's just that she started conversation with this statement " HIV is very common among gay men" That's the only thing. I will meet her again if necessary. Love you both. Ben Williams P.S and though oral sex is less risky, but yes! HIV can enter through open cuts and sores.”

I guess I’ve been told.

 

5 July 2013 Friday

I forgot I was having some guys over. I am having my attic insulated through an energy saving program and it’s taking most of the morning...but will be worth it I hope... My house was built in 1996 so it needs an upgrade...Fun but busy day...

Attic insulated and Levon Mirakyan made a delicious lunch... I Ran Chuck Whyte up to the doctors for some medical tests, Then I went with Levon to Richmond Park to show support for Bob Henline’s homeless youth BBQ...  I went Grocery shopping and draining the hot tub... So how was your day?

Charles Frost wrote me about Levon reading my private messages: Levon is a sneaky little snoopy shit, and conversation with Ben once again comes home to bite me in the ass. Good thing I am going to San Diego, because I am very angry right now. Ben you and I will talk face to face, behind a closed door. Levon--you and I will talk face to face behind a closed door. Our conversation (Levon) won't be as pleasant or fun. Fuck!”

Levon responded, “Well that's pretty rude, Charles. He gave me this iPhone so I could try to unlock it. Messages on screen show my name. Anyone would read those. Not that in sticking my nose into his devices. Have fun in San Diego. And I'm giving it back now!”

I responded to the both of them, “This is very confusing... Let’s just drop it and start again... We are All friends here.”

Bill Poore wrote me about the show we are going to see, “So tomorrow is show, starts at 2pm Babcock. Hugh Hanson, my director, friend told me that a good place to park is you pull into the lot for Marriot library but take the first left before you go into the paid lot, which is the parking lot for the dance department and the old field house. They are faculty reserved but do not apply on Sat. Then you can just walk down the stairs toward PT. I will meet you there around 1:45 ?

I am not sure the quality of this show if it is bad we can leave at intermission if you want. You remember the Schimidt family, he is the director, his wife Shale, and his daughter are in the show. He directed Sweeny Todd, anyway her brother and his best friend killed himself this past Sunday.

It has been a tough week for them and all the kids. Their son was the blonde guy who played the gay boy in Spring Awakening. They are burying the kid Monday.”

 

6 July 2013 Saturday

I am so ashamed that I am a Big Brother watcher... My guilty summer pleasure. I Went with Bill Poore to see a musical at the Babcock Theater at the U of U this afternoon. “Once upon a Mattress” had some great voices, wonderful costumes and cute dancing boys... Too bad the parking lot south of Pioneer is all torn up.         

Pearce Danner and Levon Mirakyan fixed my printer for me Yay! And we watched Pitch Perfect, a funny show... I gave Pearce a digital camera that I never used for helping out.

In the evening Levon and I hot tubbed in the rain...it felt so nice... Then I stayed up for J Seth Anderson and Michael Adam Ferguson who came over to borrow the truck ...

Now time for bed.

Thanks to Levon I almost feel contemporary again... I wouldn't know any pop culture movies living alone at my age... Hell I didn't even know who Lana Del Rey was until he showed me lol... But then we older folks have knowledge for the young too so it's all good.

Bill Poore wrote: “u and I both got out of this show easy. I simply said cute cast, talented Schmidts family.....not a mention how poorly directed it was, technically the show was just too dark. It was a musical comedy, should be bright and I need to see the fucking faces, how is that boy doing?”

I responded, “I was nice too on my comments... He's fine…He had Pearce over to hot tub and fool around.”

Bill Poore said, “Listen if you are going to be my friend you have to video this action going on with Pearce and Levon fooling around in the Hot Tub. Did Pearce also hot tub naked? I am coming over.” I responded to his request and question, “No and yes.”

Bill Poore said, “I hate you.”

I wrote Kyle Foote today:

Dear Kyle,   I got your letter dated the 28th of June, yesterday. I was getting a bit worried that you got sick or something. Glad to know you just have been busy which is good. Learning new things isn’t easy but it’s good to stimulate the brain rather than just pass the time. Glad you are also able to work with a friend. That makes the job more pleasant too if not easier. Hopefully all your text books have come in now and you are able to start your schooling. That too will help make the time pass and fill your days.        

After a very cool June for the most part, we are having a blistering July with record temperatures. Levon and I went to the Pride Center’s open house on the 28th of June.  It’s really not a community center any more but rather administrative offices for social services. I went up to Valerie who was trying to avoid me and had surrounded herself with a flank of dykes and asked where I could donate to let her know I am not afraid of her.

When I came home my air conditioning went on the fritz and it was 90 degrees in the house! What a weekend for it to go out since we were going to have record temperatures. Repair men said they wouldn’t be out until Monday and Saturday was going to be 104 degrees. After a miserable night trying to keep Daisy cool, I went and bought $90 worth of fans at Lowes to at least circulate the air in the house.

That afternoon I had a surprise visit from Ben Anderson and Mattia Lumaca who dropped by unexpectedly. I didn’t even know they were in Utah. I thought they were still in Europe. I guess they came back to the US so that Mattia could get his green card now that DOMA has been over turned. Darren Solomon also dropped by so on the hottest day of the year I had more company then I have had almost all year.

Ben wanted me to write a letter for his immigration lawyer to help with the green card process.  I think that was the real reason behind his visit. They left after staying with me in 2009, not on the best terms and owing me money. But I told him “Families fight and fuss...big deal...still family...”

That evening I went to Michael Aaron’s 50th birthday party at his place and I had made him a big carrot cake. I am glad I did because no one else baked anything and there was just a small store bought white cake. I bet he had 75  people over there off and on.

It was really hot outside record heat 105 so I didn’t stay long. Don't know what Levon did but when I got home from Michael's birthday bash, he had tinkered with the furnace and AC and got it working again so the house was cooling down and by Sunday morning the house was a cool 75 degrees again. The fans I bought will be good for my classroom in the fall since the rooms are not air conditioned at all...So hallelujah for central air and modern living...

Levon and I also turned the hot tub down to 88 degrees and used it to cool ourselves off. July has been miserable so far…too hot to work in the yard…and to do much of anything.

Levon has been making cold salads that I hadn’t had before…Russian Potato salad made with cooked peas, carrots, potatoes, and eggs, Chicken salad made with garlic… interesting.

 I’ve been taking him to his appointments to meet with his case worker and lawyer and with Charles.  I think he’s kind of depressed because he is a stranger here, can’t work, doesn’t have much money, and worried about being sent back to Armenian.

I enjoy his company very much except he does smoke, out on the deck. He’s meeting some young people about his own age through Charles and I but he’s very innocent and scared about getting AIDS…He asks me all the time; can you get AIDS from doing this or that? But it’s nice again to have someone young in the house again that cares about me. It’s been way over a year and a half since someone other than me and the hounds has lived here.      

            Michael and Seth are back from Japan now. I picked them up from the airport. They are like celebrities in Japan. A&E television gave them a $4000 grant for their business and wants to do a program on their interest in Tea and starting the Queens’ Tea. I guess it’s in the works for them to return to Japan in October where some Japanese producer wants to do a series on Americans searching for the best tea in Japan. So they are following their dream.

I hope you had a nice 4th of July. Only thing I did was go see “Man of Steel” at the movies with friends. I did not like it at all… Completely ruined the whole Superman concept so they could have a scenario to show special effects and one long boring fight scene. Ugh.

Levon had a nice day with a friend of Charles but spent the evening in the hot tub with me watching neighborhood fireworks go off. 

On Friday I took Chuck Whyte to the hospital for a series of tests yesterday on his leg for an infection. It was also part of his disability claim I suppose. He’s not dead yet still on Adam 4 Adam and other dating sites.

Bob Henline is now the new editor of the Q Salt Lake and he had a BBQ for homeless youth yesterday that I went to help out and support. He’s a straight man.

At the Pride Center there are six straight people running key departments. Call me old fashion but I still believe that Gay people are the best resources for other Gay people.  

 

The Sugar House Farmers Market started yesterday on the 5th. I didn’t make it over there but Amy said it was a good turnout. I think she is managing it without a director this year.         

Only thing in the news is the Egyptian overthrow of their president, Snowden and the NSA crap, and the George Zimmerman trial.

Nothing too new here in Utah, except a professor at Weber State was fired for objecting to a school there being named after Boyd Packer and the Republicans got off their asses to call for an investigation of John Swallow. I know they don’t want to go there with all their dirty dealings. 

I am thinking about coming down on Sunday July 14th to see you again if that is okay with you and maybe one more time in August before school starts up again. I was worried that your lack of correspondence had something to do with our visit and that seeing each other was too hard on you.  But then why waste the pants right? 

I wish I had more to write about… Summer blahs.  Love Ben

 

7 July 2013 Sunday

It is Down pouring in Westpointe. Our Westpointe Community Boundaries are to the East-Redwood Road. To the West the City limits. To the South-700 North and to the North-the City Limits.

 I have to drive 4 miles to get a Starbucks that seems uncivilized. None on the Westside of town.

 I mailed Kyle Foote’s letter today and sent back the movie Ludwig on Netflix… I didn’t like if. Too dull.

Levon Mirakyan climbed on the roof to clean my gutters over the deck this evening whoo-hoo! It was a Perfect evening for it ... Last time it was done was two years ago when Kyle Foote did it for me

Bill Poore stored some of his paintings beneath my stairs and had lunch with me...I Made Italian sausage with cabbage, squash from my garden, and mushrooms... It was  Pretty good... Even went to the gym today...hooray for me!

Bill Poore wrote: That Levon is a good kid, I hate cleaning gutters. I think I enjoyed that lunch more than other meal you have made for me.”

 

8 July 2013 Monday

This afternoon we went to this Armenian Store on 33rd South called Arbot to buy some cheese, coffee, and candy for Levon Mirakyan. He spoke Armenian to the people there and of course they all wanted to know what he’s doing in Utah. He says Armenians gossip too much..

I Spent much of the late evening with Levon sharing with me music that he likes. I learned who Regina Spektor is tonight ... I almost feel contemporary thanks to Levon.

 

9 July 2013 Tuesday

I was really pissed at Levon Mirakyan this morning because he wouldn’t go into work because he said he was sick. No doubt he was staying up until 3 or 4 in the morning and smoking cigarettes. I had fixed him breakfast and got him up in plenty of time so I just washed my hands of it all after he said he’d find his own way in. I worked in the back yard cleaning up the side yard drive as a way just to vent my frustration.        

At noon I left the house to go have lunch at The Other Place with Garth Chamberlain who's in town from Long Beach. We had a good visit.  He’s on medical leave for severe depression. He hates his job, has no friends or purpose in Long Beach. I have known Garth since he was in the Youth Group back in the mid 80's...he was the one who proposed we form a Gay community center at Community council years ago and is now he’s finding it difficult to even volunteer at the "Pride Center"

I told him that it wasn’t really a community center anymore but a bureaucracy for Social workers and Gay advocacy.... Times change.

Chuck Whyte called at 4:15 this afternoon saying he needed to be at Holy Cross for X-rays by 5 so I rushed across town get him there... I fought downtown traffic to get back home and at 530 then Chuck called again and said there was a foul up so they wouldn't do his X-ray,  so back I go into the city to pick him up and he asked if we could stop at Smiths to get his meds because they told him they were ready… They weren’t so sat in Smith’s parking lot waiting for his med's... It was 95 degrees and it was after 8 pm when I finally got back home... Stupid clinics... All this running around and gas for nothing... Why can't I bill the clinic for malfeasance?

 Ugh just, old, hot, and tired... But Chuck had a worse day...

 

10 July 2013 Wednesday

My grandma Johnson died 21 years ago today. It was another hot one today. About 100 degrees. I was up early this morning and cooked two quiches before the house heated up.

Getting things together to give to Deseret Industries this morning when Chuck Whyte called and said he was at Walgreens downtown town so I said I’d go and help run him around again today. He had to get all kinds of bandages and cleaning supplies to disinfect his foot again.  Then I took him to LDS Hospital where he finally got his x-rays done.  The doctor was concerned that he has a bone infection and if so that could prove fatal.

So after squiring him around, I got home about 2:00 in the afternoon  and had lunch with Levon Mirakyan…It was not a real productive day…when Levon’s home I just kind of hang out with him.

I went grocery shopping for cold cuts and that kind of thing for dinner because it’s too warm to cook much. I am getting cucumbers from my garden finally and squash…Maybe tomatoes in a few weeks. Just kind of kept Levon company today watching movies…”Sister Act 2” and “Brave”… we went hot tubbing in the evening….we had a good soak and visited. He is so confused what he wants to do with his life he said, but at least he’s in America.

 

11 July 2013 Thursday

I made sure that Levon Mirakyan was at his psychiatrist appointment on time downtown.  Then I spent the rest of the afternoon going through Kyle Foote’s crates and separating his clothes into piles. I told Seth Anderson to come over this weekend when he comes to borrow the truck and look through the clothes and take whatever he wants. The rest will go to Deseret Industries.

When I went to pick Levon up, I met Charles Frost and Levon at the Smith’s downtown where we picked up the medicine the psychologist had prescribed for his depression. In the evening Levon and I watched Jump Street 21 which was cute and while I was supposed to meet up with this Brazilian guy that was traveling through Utah…he texted and said he was staying at Park City and I texted him back that it was too far and too late.  I think Levon was more excited at the prospects of me getting laid than I was.

Bill Poore was asking me about Chuck Whyte’s condition so I wrote him: “I took Chuck Whyte down to get a disability bus pass so it’s only about $40...He finally got his X-rays done and his doctors are worried that if it’s a bone infection it will spread which could be fatal...He has to change dressing on his foot now and wears a foot boot ... How was your doctor’s visit?”

Bill Poore then commented: Did you buy the pass? I will pay half on it, I really would. It is important that he keep in charge of his own care, and plans his own transportation, if he doesn't he will become totally dependent and disabled. It is a psychological thing. I worked almost 8 years in home care. I worked with a lot of Chucks. He needs to be proactive in everything or he will really become disabled. The infection can become fatal if it is in his bone. They might have to put him in the hospital and do six weeks of heavy IV antibiotics.

My pulmonary was a total pain, after it I went to Audiology to check on my hearing aids. I am not going to have them for a while. They are being sent back to the factory, long story but might end up with a spare pair that I can use but it will take a few weeks. I just told her I want them by the time I go to school.”

 

12 July 2013 Friday

The heat wave has broken for a little bit and it has only been in the 80’s today.  I tried to write some today while Levon Mirakyan slept in. It’s nearly impossible to get any writing done when he’s up.

We had planned on going to the Utah Natural Museum of history with Brent Pace’s Men’s Group but it was all fouled up and I didn’t want to pay $10 for my admission and Levon really didn’t want to go either so we bailed and instead bought a flash drive at Radio Shack so Levon could make a copy of “Norman is that You”?  I wanted a copy on DVD so I could use it for Film night.

 I Spent two days sorting through Kyle Foote’s clothes to get rid of them... Stuff that I was holding on to for him that he doesn't need anymore...most  had been dried cleaned and never worn...They were just wrinkly from being in storage...premium clothes...They are all small sizes so nothing I could use... I saved about $100 worth of wooden hangers however...no more wire hangers!

In the evening I fixed Levon a hamburger and he was stressing over trying to get a change of address for his asylum case. Before going to bed we watched “Getting Over Sarah Marshall.”  I am spending a lot of time watching silly movies this summer to keep Levon company.

Joe Redburn posted that he got rid of all Russian vodka at the Trapp... Russia is becoming increasingly anti-Gay. It's time to start paying attention to what's going on in Russia in case you haven't yet. Putin has declared war on the gay community. He's made it illegal to promote homosexuality in theater, film, TV, print that in any way could be seen by youth. In other words anything Gay is now pornography.

 

14 July 2013 Sunday

I left at 9:45 for Gunnison while Levon was still sleeping. I filled the tank up with gas for the trip and I was on my way. Its 130 miles to Gunnison down I-15 to Nephi where then taking Route 28 South to Levan and then 30 miles more to Gunnison.

 It was a beautiful trip down and the temperature registered in the high 70’s for most of the way. I was in Gunnison by 11:40 and I didn’t drive faster than 65 mph and had my window down to keep the car from overheating with the air conditioner going.

I was disappointed to find that the ware house closes on the weekend so I wasn’t able to donate the books I had intended for the prison library.  Other than that there were no hang ups this time and I saw Kyle about 12:10 for about two hours.

It didn’t seem as awkward this time and he spoke about prison life more this time. He is working full time now and all his text books have come so he is starting his college classes. He hopes to have a bachelor’s and master’s by the time he gets out sometime at the end of 2016 or early 2017.

 He lives in a pod type unit with bunk beds surrounding an open shared area so he’s not in a cell. He said that guys who want to have sex need to be in a cell where they can have privacy and not get caught… although he said some of his younger inmates in his pod have sex but risk getting caught.

He says he’s not interested in sex with any of the guys there and that may be true. He tells me he has changed and realizes his former priorities were so screwed up. I bought him a Pepsi and a Twix bar while we talked. We had to sit across from each other at the table not next to each other for some prison rule… but I hugged him upon greeting him and when out two hours were up…

I don’t know why I love this boy but I just do… he said his newspaper subscription is up and not to renew it because he is so busy now he doesn’t get a chance to read it and that there is no need to send him anymore money.  I didn’t tell him that I gave away all of his clothes. He said I could in a previous letter but didn’t want to make him sad or anything. He said considering where he’s at he’s been lucky in prison and it has been a good thing for him to sort out his life. He told me the names of some of his friends in prison and later when I got home I looked them up…The two I looked up were sex offenders of minors…one being David Busby who made the news for being a Nanny Molester of a 13 year old boy. Well I suppose in prison you don’t meet the cream of society.

The trip home was uneventful and went by fast even though it was about 90 degrees the whole time and I kept my window cranked down still. Just didn’t want to chance the car over heating off on those lonely rural roads. When I got home about 5, Levon was smoking on the deck and hadn’t done anything like he said he was going to but he gave me a really big hug like he missed me. 

We watched a movie pirated off the Russian station called Heat with Sandra Bulloch and Melissa McCarthy funny but a typical police buddy movie.  I was exhausted from the 260 mile trip and went to lay down about 8:00 right after Pearce Danner came over. I went right to sleep so I guess they played downstairs. Never heard him leave...Levon says he likes Pearce better than Nate now… Seth and Michael never returned the truck so they must have been either really busy or really exhausted.

 

15 July 2013 Monday

Didn’t do much today. Levon slept in until 1 pm. I went off to the gym and other than that I can’t think of anything else I did today.  Seth and Michael returned the truck about 5 O’clock but I was kind of upset with them that they couldn’t be bothered to come in for 5 minutes to visit. Thought that was awfully inconsiderate.  I watched Django with Levon this evening… really stupid but typical Quentin Tarrantino.

 

16 July 2013 Tuesday

Ugh restless night...scared sissy dogs, thunder, lightning, and a huge lightning strike about midnight that shut the power off but it came right back on... Mosquitoes got in to the house and decided to munch on me...oh well it's a brand new day.

It was a very humid day and felt like Boston. I managed to get Levon Mirakyan to work on time at 10 this morning and I was hoping to get some alone time today but it didn’t work out that way.

After dropping him off at the center, I went to the Chapman Library and checked out another one of Janet Evanovich books, “Notorious Nineteen”, and went to Deseret Industries where I bought a bread box, a toy bear rug for the dogs, and found a neat picture of Utah’s pictographs in a small frame.

Chuck Whyte called and said he thought we were going to lunch at 11 and I said we could do that so picked him up and off to Chuck-A-Rama and after that we went to a few places to get heath care products for his foot.

He had a 1:30 appointment so dropped him off at his clinic when Charles Frost called and wanted me to take Levon shopping and get him some lunch…so I picked him up and we went to Smiths and bought just mainly cleaning supplies, paper products, his personal hygiene and grooming products, and some fresh produce. Charles also paid for gas.

Charles was exhausted today. He was up early for his Dottie Dixon segment on Radio From Hell and I guess last night he and Doug Lott were up late working out some marital issues so we all were tired today.

Charles sent Levon home with me rather than having him finish his shift so any plans to be alone today fizzled.

Levon took a nap while I put the groceries away and cleaned the kitchen. Chuck Whyte then called and told me some bad news. At the doctors they said he has to go into the hospital this Friday if not sooner and have his foot drained and he might even end up losing that foot or part of it. I could tell from his voice he was close to crying. So I will take him this Friday unless he can get in earlier.

In the evening Levon and I were sitting on the deck watching the trees blow in the whipping wind. I could tell a storm was coming in and eventually it did big time like a monsoon. Levon wanted to watch a movie with me but I was so exhausted, I hardly could keep my eyes open and he kept switching movies so just as I was getting into one he didn’t like it and wanted to change it.

On top of this Michael Ferguson texted me, all sexually frustrated about his relationship with Seth Anderson. That relationship is in trouble. Love, friendship, business partners, celebrity status all rolled into a big mess.

I tried going to bed at 9:00 when Levon came in at 10:00 and said he was working on creating a blog for me, the sweetheart…that “Armaniac”… I am growing so fond of him but not romantically at all anymore…He’s just a sweet and annoying teenager at times.

God or Charles Frost placed him in front of me so I guess I better do the best I can.

 

 

 

17 July 2013 Wednesday

I got up late today nearly 8:30 after a restless night and weird dreams. This morning, about 2, Levon Mirakyan turns on my light and wakes me up because he was concerned about what Bill Poore had posted, he wrote "hanging"... it scared Levon to death...  I said it’s just an American expression meaning everything is fine... I wrote Bill and said stop being so cryptic...LOL...

Chuck Whyte is going in Friday morning for his foot to determine if he might have some of it amputated...I am taking him...

Michael Ferguson texted me all evening upset about Seth Anderson and his relationship...so I just listened and suggested he get some counseling even without Seth but he later said he took Seth out on a dinner date and had a really constructive conversation and came home "playful and laughing". They both feel their connection is worth the work...

Levon also came in at 10 last night to show me the blog he is setting up for me...he was so excited but I just wanted to sleep...

Today I wanted to take him to get a haircut... he needs one and wants one... but he slept in until nearly 3 pm so the heck with that.

I wonder how much Kyle Foote  even knows about David Busby...I am sure people don't share everything in prison...He's in there for 25 years to life so a lot longer than Kyle...

I printed off the email Charles Frost sent me and a copy of the Rental agreement he wanted me to have with Levon. I bet it will be as good as the one I had with Kyle which means nothing will change.

It really rained hard last night but hot again today. I made an Italian Macaroni Casserole for dinner.

 

18 July 2013 Thursday

I am feeling really tired and worn out... Not sure why... I need more sleep or rest I guess... My 62 years are catching up with me...

I've created three blogs to preserve my writings in cyberspace. One is called the Utah Historical Societies Archives which I will be posting my chronologies; One is Memoirs of a Gay Activist which I haven’t done much with but will have autobiographical material and My Past Gay Musings and Stories which will be the articles I have written for the Q and others. So that is what I mostly did while Levon Mirakyan was at work.

 

19 July 2013 Friday

This morning at 7:30 I picked up Chuck Whyte to take him to the LDS hospital for some foot surgery. When I came home I mowed the front yard and did some weeding before it got too hot. Levon Mirakyan mowed the back yard, and in the afternoon I took the truck to haul Levon's bike home from the Bike Collective. I bought him a lock for it. Now let’s see if he will use it.

I worked on my blog pages and then for dinner took Levon out for Mexican food at Ranchitos on North Temple. There I find out that he only had Mexican once before and that was in China so really he never had it before. I should have taken him to Del Taco to bring him in.

Chuck Whyte needed some things from his place like a phone charger and his check book so we ran them up to him in the hospital.

Finally in the evening we watched “The Great Oz” before going to bed...Don't bother it was bad...

It was a sad day for my nephew’s family with the loss of their furry family member Izzy... She was a fawn colored pit bull they just bought last year. She got out and was hit by a car. James was so upset and at first wanted to borrow money to try and save her but it was $1500 with just a 50/50 chance of survival. I talked to him about just letting her go because that was way too much money when he has children at home. It’s hard to lose a beloved canine companion...  so I sent to James $450 to put their dog Izzy down. 

 

20 July 2013 Saturday

Today was Charles Lynn Frost’s SAGE Summer picnic at Liberty Park and I took Levon Mirakyan down there at 4:00 so he could help Charles and work off some of his hours.

I went over to visit with Doug Lott and told him how frustrated I am with Levon not getting up until 1 in the afternoon and staying up all night.

Then I went home fed the dogs and cut up the $9 watermelon I bought. I didn’t know it was going to be that expensive when I bought it but thought it would save me time and energy not having to cook something for the pot luck.

The picnic was at Liberty Park’s Rice Terrace Pavilion, and Leraine Horstmanshoff & The Soul Vibrations performed. SAGE Utah and UP365 will provide beverages, utensils, and the BBQ.

I got there about 6:15 and it had started at 6 but already there were at least 50 people there and more were coming. I observed that there weren’t nearly as much food brought by people as last year and a lot of it was chips and pre-made food from Smith’s.

I was in line behind Kristen Ries and Maggie Smith so we visited a little. SAGE provided the meat, and Bob Henline had even cooked up BBQ pork which was delicious.

I sat and visited with Bill Poore mostly although without his hearing aids, which was difficult. After he left, I sat with Todd Markham and Addison Rose and Rocky O’Donovan. He really can be a pill.

All in all there had to have been over 100 people at the picnic but no one from the Center’s board was there which perturbed Charles to no end. Lots and lots of older people that I didn’t know and I thought where the hell were all you people twenty five years ago when we needed you to help build community?

All in all it was a really great turn out...lots of good food and good people at Liberty Park...It seemed like a family reunion seeing Luci Malin, John Bennett, Kristin Reis, Maggie Snyder, Connell O'Donovan and so many others there.

I guess even John Merrill was there but I didn’t recognize him in his new drag... Wonderful summer day in the park.

Levon went home with Dave from the center and who knows when he will turn up.

 

21 July 2013 Sunday

This morning Chuck Whyte went into surgery and had his baby toe amputated and had his leg drained of infection. Makes me realize I need to stay on top of my diabetes better.

 

I wrote Kyle a letter today:

“Dear Kyle, It’s been a week since I came to visit so I thought I ought to write you a letter. I hope you are well and keeping busy and productive to make the time go by.

It was a nice uneventful drive home after seeing you. On the way down it was in the 70’s but on the way back it was in the 90’s. I Drove with just my windows down because the AC has been over working the engine on the PT Cruiser.

This week is the Days of 47 holiday so that’s all we hear locally. I took Chuck up to LDS Hospital on Friday and Sunday morning he had foot surgery to amputate his baby toe on his left foot.  It was so infected that they were worried it would spread to the rest of him if untreated. Just a part of diabetes. Just glad he didn’t lose his whole foot.  He will be released Tuesday and will have about two weeks of home care.

It’s been interesting having Levon come live with me. He’s very bright and is fond of me but he’s like a teenager at times…not taking responsibility for himself.  Our main arguments have been on him staying up until 3 in the morning and then sleeping in pass noon.  He needs structure but just working two days a week at the Pride Center isn’t giving it to him… Otherwise I like his company and he’s so like a teenager that when he gets laid he has to tell me all about it…LOL Well he basically is a virgin.

Been watching a lot of movies with him…none very interesting but I guess it passes the time. I Saw The Great OZ, awful, and Skyfall, boring. Django which was stupid and bloody. I think I told you I saw Man of Steel at the movies and it was really bad. Oh Well.

Saturday SAGE had their Summer Picnic potluck at Liberty Park. That was a nice break for the summer. I bought a big watermelon ($9!) I sliced up in wedges. It was 100 degrees so didn’t want to bring anything that would sit in the sun.  Saw a lot of the old timers from the 80’s that made things happened but there were a lot, I mean a lot of older people and couples, that I thought who are you? And why weren’t you out battling for our rights and building community… Oh well I guess that is why we did what we then back then so people can gather today like it’s no big deal.

My garden is going gang busters, bell peppers, cucumbers; squash…tomatoes haven’t really taken off yet. Next year I am planting tomatoes in garden boxes all along the railing on the deck instead of flowers that just wilt and need constant watering.

I still need to put some slats up on the top of the hot tub to brace up a tarp for the fall and winter for the leaves and snow. Without a brace, the covering I have put up collapses under the weight of the snow. Hardly could use the tub last year from the amount of snow covering the deck and the hot tub cover.

Levon is no help with anything like construction but he can lift and hold the boards up. The rim of the top of the deck boards is 13 feet across so I can’t use 12 feet boards… oh well.

Finally got a blog going to post my archives and writings…One is called Utah Stonewall Historical Society Archives where I am post all my data collection…One is Memoirs of a Gay Activist which I haven’t really posted anything yet…Probably be journal entries and reflections and the one I have posted the most on is My Past Musings and Stories…where I am posting all writings that were published in various forums mostly the Q.

I know most people won’t be able to find them even though they are on the Google Search Engine but at least they will be in Cyberspace and not just setting on my hard drives that will crash someday.

My nephew called Saturday and said their family pet was hit by a car and they didn’t have the money to put her down. It would have been $1500 to have the vet treat her and it would have been only a 50/50 chance she would have survived. So I sent them $450 to have her put to sleep. It was his wife’s dog and all his kids were traumatized.

So I am broke for the rest of the month but it’s almost over. Well I will close for now to get this in the mail. Here’s a sample of my Blog Love Ben

 

22 July 2013 Monday

I drove Levon Mirakyan around to all the places the Bus 517 would stop before going to Traxx and then showed him the Green Line into town. Since we were in the city we went up to LDS Hospital to see Chuck Whyte but he wasn’t in his room but was out having some tests done so we just left him a message.

I have been posting lots on my Blog site from past articles I have done. I don’t know yet if anyone is reading them but they are now getting into cyberspace.

Levon and I watched “Neighborhood Watch” that featured Ben Stiller kind of like Tom Hank’s “the Burgs”

The Royal Baby was born today but we fought a war of Independence so we don’t have to give a fuck about it.

Jimmy Carter came out in support of Edward Snowden the NSA leaker. Jimmy Carter was always a good man. He said Snowden uncovering of the “massive surveillance programs had proven beneficial."

Russia is going nuts arresting Gay tourists and passing laws against Gay people. There’s a call to boycott the Olympics.

 

23 July 2013 Tuesday

I had a restless night dull aching pain shooting down the front of my right leg. It was an  Ibuprofen kind of night...sharp throbbing pain down my right hip...something new to add to the list of being a senior... Hope it's not arthritis like poor mom had... So much for exercise and gong to the gym...Bill Poore says it’s my sciatic nerve and when I looked it up that seems to be what it was.

I took Levon Mirakyan down to the Traxx station on Redwood and North Temple. It’s the first time he is finally using his bus pass. I took him down in the truck so I could stop at Sutherland’s to buy a 12 foot board to see if it would work instead of a 16 footer. It did so I went back to Sutherlands and bought 4 more. I was able to hoist them into place by myself which was my only concern. Once in place I knew I could do the rest without any help.

I took a nap in the afternoon because I didn’t sleep well last night and Levon called about 4:30 and asked me to come get him at North Temple and 10th West. He had gotten lost and couldn’t remember which stop he was supposed to get off of. No big deal because I had to take Coco home anyway.

In the evening Pearce Danner came over while I tried to work on the deck but Levon and Pearce were making me nervous, watching everything I was doing, afraid I was going to break my neck so I gave up. They left anyway after a while to go to some party.

 

24 July 2013 Wednesday

I had a fretful night with the sciatic nerve hurting all night. I slept with an ice pack and that and the drugs I took seemed to help.

I was up early to screw the wooden beams in across the top of the hot tub to support a tarp this winter before it gets too hot. I decided half way through it that hammering nails into the board was easier than the screws because they were getting caught on knot holes.

Levon Mirakyan came out to help by 10:00 but I was nearly done and he was such a zombie I just told him to go back to bed. It was easier then fussing with him or hearing him fuss.

Hammering in the last nail I smashed my left index finger really bad. Broke the skin and bled like a stuck pig. Really bruised it up good like slamming it in a car door but I got the beams done and I am really proud of that. It was something I was worrying about for a long time because everything I had tried to cover the hot tub before failed to keep the snow from piling up. 

About 1 pm. Charles Frost came over with Chinese food from Asian Isle and some Saki and wine. Levon then got up and joined us, still grumpy but soon mellowed out and we had a nice visit and then went in the hot tub. I was careful not to get my hand wet.

Both Charles and Levon drank a half bottle of wine while I stuck with tea after have a small glass of Saki with dinner.  The water was up to 100 so it felt really nice and we had a good visit talking about what is happening in our lives. Doug Lott had to work today.

Charles stayed until about 5:30 and I load him up with squash and peppers and cucumbers from the garden. After he left, Levon was hungry so I took him to Wendy’s so he would have a land mark to know where to get off the  Traxx coming back in from the city. He had never eaten at Wendy’s before so that was a new experience for him… then we did a little grocery shopping and finished our evening watching “Men In Black 3” which was fun and enjoyable.

I took some ibuprofen and hoped I could sleep. Did not make it to the July heart circle that Rocky planned this evening. Why he did it on the 24th is strange. Happy Pie N Beer Day…that’s what all the Gentiles are calling today LOL

 

25 July 2013 Thursday

I had to get after Levon Mirakyan to get up and get ready for work. I don’t know why I should bother. It just annoys me that he can’t be more responsible on his own.

After dropping him off at Traxx I went into Bountiful to go to Instant Care for about my finger since it was still oozing blood. They took some x-rays of it and I guess I fractured the tip when I hit it with the hammer so she prescribed some anti-biotics put a finger guard on it and also said I have bursitis instead of a sciatic nerve pain. I probably got it from jogging at the gym instead of just walking which caused an inflammation of my hip joint.

After that I went up to school and dropped off some school supplies I had bought at Wal-Mart. As much as I hate Wal-Mart I can’t pass up 50 cent glue and scissors, 17 cent spiral notebooks etc.

 

I also dropped in to see my principal Liz Beck to see about having Grace put in my class but I guess her Mom did a request and she was put in anyway.

It was nice having the house to myself and I made a batch of Chicken enchiladas, some Spanish rice, and a chocolate meringue pie.

I lost my finger splint somewhere today it fell off somewhere. I guess I really don’t need it.

Levon didn’t get off work until 8 this evening so I went and picked him up and after he ate we sat in the hot tub for a while but I didn’t stay long and was in bed by 10 pm. Rocky O’Donovan wrote a shitty thing on the Faerie site after I said I wish I could have been at the Heart Circle… He wrote: “Right, so you went out to dinner and hot tubbed with the boys!!!” I responded, “For you info Charles Frost brought lunch to me and he and Levon hot tubbed while I dipped my feet...”

 

26 July 2013 Friday

I took Levon Mirakyan into the city to go with Brent Pace’s Men’s Asylum group. He didn’t take his phone with him so about 4, I am getting these calls from Brent and Levon to come get him. So I go into the city and brought Levon home just when Chuck Whyte called me at 4:30 needing to be picked up at the hospital. He’s on so much medication that he didn’t know that he never told me he was going to need a ride…so I zipped over there hoping to avoid Rush hour traffic.

I was stressing out because Ben Anderson and Mattia Lumaca were coming over for dinner at 6. But I was just barely home before they showed up and I just served left over enchiladas since I had no time to make anything. They stayed until 9:00 and we had a good visit.

Next month Mattia will be getting his green card finally so he can stay with Ben in America.

Levon stayed in his room the entire time I guess not wanting to be with us old farts.

 

27 July 2013 Saturday

Levon Mirakyan was in a mood today so I left him alone a lot. He was having people over this evening and made his Russian potato salad and a green salad. He wanted me to go put air in his bike tire but it wouldn’t hold air. I think the valve stem is no good.

 While out I bought two pizzas for Levon to bake and serve for his party…then we had a major fight. He was being stupid about the oven and trying to tell me how putting aluminum foil on the bottom was keeping the oven from heating. Well I had it with him being so stubborn and not listening to me and basically telling me I don’t know how to operate my own oven I’ve had for 17 years!

We had a big blow up right before I had to leave for Ogden to give a talk on Gay Utah History at Marilyn and Tracy Johnson Faulkner’s place. It was a nice drive to Ogden and didn’t have any trouble finding their place. I like the old homes of Ogden and probably would live there if I wasn’t such a Salt Laker.

 

28 July 2013 Sunday

I am just feeling worn out. Levon Mirakyan still wanted to drag up yesterday and I just want to let it go since he is not going to change. I slept a lot today with my right leg just throbbing away. It’s just a nagging pain. That and I my smashed finger.

 

I tried watching Beasts of the Southern Wild and it was so awful only watched about a half hour of it.

Levon was acting very weird today maybe due to his medication but he was so paranoid about having HIV and saying that he didn’t feel well and wanted me to reassure him that he didn’t have HIV or anything else. It was just wearing me down because he refused to be reassured.

In the evening I took him out for dinner just to get him away from the house and we went to this Mexican place on 35th South and Redwood called Taqueria. I think was its name. It was pretty good and not expensive at all. Levon still doesn’t know what to order but he wanted something with meat so I ordered him Asada Tacos and I had a Chili Relleno plate that was really good. I gave Levon half of it.

We had a nice summer rain in the evening that cooled everything off and made the air smell fresh.  In the evening we watched a movie I think was called “Change Up” but Levon was almost having an anxiety attack so he called Charles Frost for reassurance he couldn’t get from me.

This afternoon Chuck Whyte called me to tell me what time to pick him up which really annoyed me because he hadn’t told me that he needed a morning ride. I feel guilty being annoyed when he’s going through so much. I should be grateful that I am well enough to be everyone’s chauffeur, confidant, and mother but I am wearing down.

 

29 July 2013 Monday

I was Up early this morning to take Chuck Whyte up to LDS Hospital for a check up on his foot. He was not happy because it’s going to be a trial for him to take the UTA up to LDS while in a wheelchair. So after taking care of him I went to Rancho Market finally to see how it looked and it was much cleaner then Viva Market and I bought some produce.

I bought a whole bunch of apricots 2 lbs. for a $1.00 where everywhere else they were $2.99 a lb. I may go back and buy some more to can into apricot syrup or jam. At home I made some baked macaroni and cheese because I know Levon Mirakyan likes it.

Then about 1:00 Chuck called again to come pick him up and I told him then that I just can’t be spending my days running back and forth into the city. I told him that he needs to get a taxi but he still obsessed with doing the bus.

About 4:30 I ran Levon into town because he wanted to get tested for HIV. He’s so obsessed with it.  I thought he would be done in an hour but he wasn’t and Kent Scadlock, Chuck Copeland, and Rocky O’Donovan were coming over for a Faerie Blessing.

They were supposed to have come over at 7:00 but it was nearly 7:45 before they did. Kent is going in for surgery on his arm and wanted a blessing. I set up the altar in the movie room and we went in there and all three of us called for a blessing of comfort and healing. Kent said afterwards that he felt really comforted by us.

Of course Rocky was bawling and being dramatic wanting to be smudged and purified with the sage.

While we were out on the deck, Levon came home, taken by Charles Frost. Levon seemed to be in a better mood but then found out that Charles had given him a Xanax for his anxiety.

Everyone left about 9:30 so it was a long day and Levon wanted to watch a movie so we watched “My Big Fat Greek Wedding” which I had never seen before. So it was nearly midnight before going to bed.

My hip is still hurting which runs down the front of my leg. It’s just a dull ache and that with my smashed finger I am just wearing out.

Charles Frost asked, “Does Levon still have your phone getting Face Book messenger?” I answered, “He just wanted to call you last night because he was so paranoid and was driving me crazy... I've changed my passwords anyway..”

Charles said, “Okay. Well he seems to be obsessing. I have told him to cut back to 1/2 tablet of the Zoloft. Some of what he's feeling are very direct side-effects of increasing to the whole tablet. Those will subside, but if it is going to drive him crazy in the meantime, he should just cut back until the Asylum is over. Is he driving you crazy?”

I said, “He was so obsessed with having HIV and of his skin feeling burned and that he was getting sick... No matter what I'd say he just was obsessing and wanted to call you... He almost was having a panic attack... He sent a message last night after looking up side effects that he is quitting the drug... I am up taking Chuck to a LDS hospital appointment.”’

Charles ended saying, “Levon needs to grow and mature, when it comes to the knowledge he already has, instead of panicking.”

 

30 July 2013 Tuesday

I went over to Chuck White’s Condo downtown about 8:00 this morning to take him up to LDS Hospital for his testing. Then I took Levon Mirakyan down to Traxx at 11:00 to work in the Pride Center’s library but Charles sent him home because he was kind of useless being sick and all.

He sent him back home on Traxx and then Levon took the bus also, which is the first time this entire month he took the bus.

After picking up Chuck Whyte and his wheelchair for the last time, I spent much of this day copying a master’s degree paper that Charles Perry had written about the Anita Bryant Protest in 1977.  “LET HE WHO IS WITHOUT SIN CAST THE FIRST ORANGE ANITA BRYANT AND THE MAKING OF A GAY RIGHTSMOVEMENT IN SALT LAKE CITY by Charles Perry 2008”.

Bob Waldrop was one of the main instigators of the protest and he and I were good friends before he moved back to Oklahoma. We always said we were related somehow by common kin in West Texas. He was a major mover and shaker in the 1970's as pastor of MCC and in the 1980's energized the Utah Libertarian Party with the slogan "Legalize Adulthood in Utah"... I love him and glad to know he is raising hell in Oklahoma by getting arrested for chaining himself to excavation equipment to stop the XL Pipeline... Why are all my friends so "Radical"?

 

31 July 2013 Wednesday

Oucha ma goucha...my leg hurts...I thought Aleve is supposed to be a pain reliever.

Here it is the end of another hot, hot July. I am dreaming so much about school that I guess it’s about time I make an appearance.

 

This morning I took off early to go register the PT Cruiser. It just need an emissions test this time but all in all it still cost $210 to get it registered but at least that is done for the year.

At home I worked almost all day on my blog and looking up information on the Whore Houses on Victoria Alley that use to run across where the Gallivan Center is today.

 I made Chicken parmesan for lunch and Levon Mirakyan got up for that but for the rest of the day he slept.

Chuck Whyte made it to his hospital appointment without me today by taking the bus. I know that had to be hard for him.

I drained the hot tub yesterday but cleaned it out and refilled it today so now its fresh again.

After Levon got up about 6:30 pm he said his fever broke and is feeling better but he has such a negative attitude lately that I worry he is sabotaging his own asylum seeking.

 Anyway we went out for dinner to a Chinese restaurant the East Sea on North Temple and 9th West that has always been good but when we sat down Levon took off to find an ATM machine leaving me by myself so I ordered for the both of us. I thought that was odd. Any way when he came back we had a nice dinner before stopping at Smiths to buy him a phone card and for me to get some gas. Well that pretty much sums up my day. It was 95 degrees out.

Bill Poore  asked, “How is Chuck doing?  How are you doing?  How is the boy doing?” I replied, “Chuck's struggling... I took him to the hospital on Monday and Tuesday for his appointments but told him I just can't do it anymore.”

Bill Poore said, “I know it is hard for you because you really want to help him but the reality is it is just too much for you where you live and the amount of time it involves. I used to get paid to take care of people like Chuck, doctor appointments, shopping, whatever they needed.  I would have like three clients and the pay in California was good.  It gave me a lot of freedom to do theatre at night etc.

I know what it takes to just take someone to an appointment.  As much as you love Chuck you can’t be his care giver, it just is too much for you to handle. Because of his income and his situation he qualifies for programs where he can get help. He should be on Medical disability; sadly he should have applied for his, a long time ago. I think this is going to be a long drawn out process for him and what is happening medically.  I just hope they are able to knock down the infection.  How is that boy doing?" 

Read in the Salt Lake Tribune in an article from 1910 that the Chief of Police banned 4 "Negro Clubs" in SLC to rid the city of all undesirable "places and characters". One was the Waiter's Club on 5th West between 1st and Second South probably near The Trapp today. The article said there were only 5 clubs that sold alcohol for a pop. of 100,000 whites and 8 clubs for a pop. of 1500 blacks.

 

AUGUST

1 August 2013 Thursday

Today is Lammas the First Harvest and I spent much of the day working on my blogs. Seth Anderson texted me in the afternoon and said that they would be running late because of their bottling tea. They wanted to have dinner at 8 so I suggested that they just come over here for dinner and a movie and we will do dinner at their place another time.

Levon Mirakyan was in bed almost all day. He didn’t talk with his lawyer nor go into work.

I made a sour cream and cucumber salad, sauté squash from the garden, and had spaghetti and garlic bread when the boys got here. Seth is a vegetarian so I served him the last of the macaroni and salad. The boys arrived about 8:00 and we ate and had a Lammas feast and they brought over some bottled tea.

After eating we went into the movie room where we watched “Norman Is That You?”.  Levon never joined us until after the movie was over about 10:30. He was being really weird with Michael Ferguson and Seth. Later he said he felt like Michael was suspicious of him and he didn’t like it. That just floored me.

            Well I went to bed about midnight. My leg isn’t hurting as badly but my finger is really starting to pain me.

 

2 August 2013 Friday

Levon Mirakyan and I had a blow up at Chubby’s, a Mexican restaurant I took him to near the house in Rose Park. He didn’t even bother combing his hair and he kept complaining to the waitress he was sick and didn’t want ice in his water and then asked if the food was too spicy because he was sick like the waitress would care.

Then he complained about the air conditioning and just being negative in general. When he started in on Michael Ferguson I told him to just stop that I didn’t want him running Michael down. So he got mad and accused me of not listening to him and being a friend and said he wants to move.

I am done being a mother to him. Done with his whining and complaining. I think I have been very good to him and have gotten back very little gratitude. I don’t care I he leaves. I will miss having someone in the house but I won’t miss his constant negativism.

I am not always the most positive person myself but I hope I never become like that a constant complainer. I don’t know what will happen with Levon but I need to detach. I am wondering now if this was the real reason he has bounced around from place to place.

Not much else is going on. I Didn’t get out much. I Watched a couple of episodes of Season 5 True Blood.

I did make an appointment for Buddy to have his teeth cleaned next Tuesday. He needs it. I am just weary.

 

3 August 2013 Saturday

I did nothing but work on my blogs today. I am still upset with Levon Mirakyan but I think he’s madder at me. He Didn’t come out of his room except to find something to eat.

I went looking for building materials and at Sutherlands I noticed they had cedar planks for $1.29 a plank and I thought that would be the perfect solution for the back of the hot tub where the Rainbow flag is. And it is something I could easily do myself. I went to Freight Harbor and bought a 11 by 11 foot tarp to go over the top of the deck. The grapes are purple and dropping like crazy.

Thirty five Years ago today in 1978 Rachel David tossed her seven children off the 11th Floor balcony at the International Dune Hotel at 206 South West Temple in SLC because her polygamous husband Emanuel David Longo committed suicide August 1st. Horrified on lookers were helpless. One child survived.

Emanuel Longo committed suicide as federal agents were investigating him for tax evasion and fraud. He was named Bruce Longo and said had 'come to earth to gain a body' & prepare us for the millennium”. He bilked people out of thousands of dollars, fooled a number of people and then committed suicide by gassing himself in a car on Parleys Summit in Utah.

Then his widow threw their kids off the hotel balcony on the 11th floor of the hotel they were staying at in Salt Lake City.

The family is buried in adjoining paupers' graves, without headstones, in a small cemetery in Taylorsville.

 

4 Sunday 2013 Sunday

Levon Mirakyan didn’t talk to me all day nor did I see him. That was okay. it gave me time to work on my blog and do some research. I am trying to flesh out the history of Frederick Jones, the Camp Douglas soldier who was assassinated when he was not found guilty of sodomy with a 10 year old Mormon boy in 1864.

It was a lot of work but I found the elusive Jones. He was born 1839 in Illinois but was a farm laborer living in Sacramento California in the 1860 U.S. Census.

Pretty productive day...put a tarp up over the hot tub to catch all the falling grapes without falling myself and worked researching Utah history from 1864...

Time for bed

 

5 August 2013 Monday

I went to go pick Chuck Whyte up at LDS hospital and took him to Smiths to get his bus pass. I had a restless night with pain shooting through my leg again. Aleve doesn’t seem to be doing the trick anymore.

About noon I went and had a haircut and beard trim because it was getting kind of scraggly. I miss oily red vinyl barber chairs, the smell of hair oil and bubble gum, and a man brushing up against with foam lather and a straight razor to trim behind my ears.

When Levon Mirakyan got up he came into my room and apologized for the way he had been acting. Quick to forgive, I said lets go get you a haircut, so took him back to the same place I had been and waited while he got groomed. He looked better and I know must have felt better too.

Then we went to the Rose Park Smiths by my house on 6th North  and I bought him some nicotine gum because he is trying to quit smoking. Thirty-Two dollars for the generic brand but if it helps him then it would be worth it.

I made some baked macaroni and cheese which he likes and we started to watch a movie again “The Haunted House” when I had to leave to go to dinner at Seth Anderson’ and Michael Ferguson’s place. They live in a studio apartment in the Covey Apartments facing South Temple. It was the first time I had ever been invited to their place.

We had veggie pizza and we just talked about stuff and I showed Seth my blog. I stayed until about 9 o’clock and that part of town has so many memories for me. They live just around the corner from where I lived in the Buckingham apartment. It was there I told them that the Sacred Faeries were started. They live just below Brigham Young’s grave yard where I once made out with a boy.

When I got home I finished watching Haunted house and then went to bed about 11:30.

Earlier today I told Charles Frost, when he called to talk about a meeting with Brent Pace and Jania Sommers today, that I wasn’t ready for Levon to leave here, that I wasn’t ready yet to going back to living alone.

Ben Anderson and Mattia Lumaca called me saying they had taken a road trip to Washington State because they are not going to stay in Utah since his son Jared may be moving to Oregon. He also said that Social Security had made a mistake in his favor and deposited $21,000 into his account. Well geez…good for him.

Bill Poore wrote saying: Went to my first SAGE committee meeting, interesting group.  Brent Marrott was downright rude to me.  I just don't understand why my sister is so close to him......Listen, I would like to come over and get two of my paintings. I have an artist that is going to look at them for me....one is almost a hundred years old and the other one could be as old. Hope Levon is well.  How is Chuck doing?” I wrote him back that “I am taking Buddy to the vet to have his teeth cleaned tomorrow but after that I should be free and at home for you to come over.”

             

6 August 2013 Tuesday

I had a very restless night. I woke up about 2:30 in the morning from spider bites I think. They weren’t mosquito bites and my right hip and leg was hurting like hell so I got on “You Tube” until about 3:30 a.m. until I could fall back asleep again but I had to be up by 7:30 to take Buddy into the vet for his teeth cleaning appointment.

Back at the house, I took Levon Mirakyan into the city because he didn’t have a bus pass for the month yet, and I dropped off some cucumbers and squash from my garden for Charles Frost.

I met Jania Sommers, a social worker at the Pride Center  for the first time and she was interested in raising some money for school supplies for Washington Elementary. I will see if anything comes of it.

In the afternoon I did go to Sutherlands and bought more cedar planks to build a privacy fence on the back of the deck because the huge rainbow flag isn’t going to last forever. By that time it was too hot to work on it and besides Bill Poore wanted to come over to take a couple of his paintings back he had left here to have some art person he knows look at them.

I was surprised to see a letter in the mail from Kyle Foote. I thought he had forgotten me. It didn’t say much but Kyle did act like he wanted me to come down and see him again so I will. He also sent me plans to put a trellis across the top of the hot tub but I had already put some boards up.

The vet was finished with Buddy by 2 pm and so I went and got him. He was alert and happy and had clean teeth even if I was about $397 poorer because I also bought a plan where I could take Buddy in for unlimited visits during the next year and get 10 percent off all his medications and shots.

I had a nice visit with Bill Poore and he said he is on the SAGE advisory board now but is not sure he is going to like it because, he, like me, is way too opinionated. He left about 5 and when I got back from taking Coco home, Levon was home. He had taken Traxx and the bus.

I fixed us some dinner of fried chicken breasts and then watched a couple of movies on TV. We tried to watch “White Chicks” but gave up on it because it was really stupid. I know Levon wanted to stay up late but I went to bed a little after 10 exhausted.

 

7 August 2013 Wednesday

            Busy day...I manned up today got out the power tools and put up a 12 foot long cedar fence that's 6 ft tall at the back of my hot tub deck for privacy and I did it without smashing one finger!  The giant rainbow flag that Kyle Foote had bought was fun but faded... That rainbow flag cost me $250 and I only spent about a tenth of that building the cedar wall that really looks nice because Sutherland had planks for $1.29!

But after getting that done it made me realize that I have to enclose some of the sides in too for added privacy.  Well that a job for another day because I am exhausted but happy to have accomplished this much so far this summer.

I have a veggie garden in the front yard, I installed beams across the top of the deck, and now I have put up a privacy fence. Yay. I think Levon Mirakyan was a little put off when I said I didn’t need his help but in reality he didn’t know what I wanted or how to do it and I’d rather have done it myself instead of trying to teach him what I wanted.

Oh well the days are moving fast and won’t be long until another summer is behind me.

I have been working on my blog and posting it on the Utah Historical Society Face book page. That keeps me busy too.

 

8 August 2013 Thursday

I went to my doctors this morning at 8:20 and was able to get in right away. My blood sugars A1C test went from 10.5 from last May 3rd down to 7.3 today which is good news. Last January the 17th they were 7.8 so I am kind of a roller coaster so need to stay more consistent. It’s not supposed to be higher than 7 so 10 was way out of whack.

 I weigh 245 lb. 8 oz. LOL I lost a half a pound since May 7th… but last January I was 254. My blood pressure was a little high 166/80 but he said that could be due to the pain I am in. I got a pain shot and a testosterone shot. I need to go in more often for that because I am supposed to get that shot ever 2 weeks.

Doc said I probably have a sciatic nerve pain in my hip and leg so he gave me a pain shot for it but didn’t give me much hope that it’s not going to be a chronic thing but he did say I should go back to the gym and walk slowly...

From there I went to Lowe’s on 13th South to see if they had 4 foot planks but they didn’t but I did buy a fire pit that was on sale for $60 and a new water filter for refrigerator.

From there I went to Sutherlands to look around and they didn’t have any short planks either so I bought 40 six foot fence planks at $1.29 each. When  I came home I finished putting up the cedar planks which took most of the day.

 

Holy Moly the wind was gusting here in Westpointe... at least 30 mph and it felt like this when we had that tornado back in 1999... trees are just whipping around to beat the band...but I got my privacy fence up Yay. Now I have to clean up ugh.

Levon Mirakyan got some upsetting news from his lawyer today and was so depressed he stayed in his room the entire day so I essentially did all this work by myself and am really proud of how it looked at the end of the day but I am tired.

The actress Karen Black died today. She was an unique actress.

 

9 August 2013 Friday

I couldn't sleep after 5:30 a.m. because of the shooting pain in my leg from the sciatic nerve. So I got up and baked a meat loaf this morning that I am enjoying cold for lunch. I could just lie in bed and cry or I could make a make meatloaf... I am a kind of meatloaf kind of optimist.

All the dogs seems to be enjoying the new Jacuzzi deck this morning. They were all lying on the cover in the sunshine so I took a picture of them and posted it. I finished putting the last screws into the cedar planks and put the power tools away and headed off to Deseret Industries which I am calling De Secret Emporium... where I spent about $20 on a nice foot stool for under my computer desk, a fun framed picture of a Sun Burst, a tea kettle, and other odds and ends.

In the evening I sat on my swing by the fire pit and burned some wood to see how the screen cover is going to work and to burn off some old leaves that had collected in the pit.  Levon is not an outdoors person at all. He couldn’t see why I enjoy sitting under the trees and watching the fire burn.

In the evening started to watch Mean Girls with Levon but he went out with David Jones and that was that. The movie was kind of stupid but ended up watching it anyway by myself.

I ordered through the Q a year subscription for Kyle of the Advocate, the OUT, and the Salt Lake Q for $40 but let’s see if he gets them.

All in all a good day...worked through the pain.

 

10 August 2013 Saturday

Good heavens! I went to the Murray Farmers Market with Charles Frost today and bought peaches and tomatoes. The market was just beginning to get crops in. Charles wanted some lunch although I had already fixed me a big breakfast of French Toast and ham.

He treated me to a Garlic Burger Luncheon at the Busy Bee and we gossiped about former directors of the Pride Center...especially Chad Breyer who was chosen director right after Paula Wolfe resigned.

Doug Fadel was on the Board and he pushed to have Breyer as director although he wasn’t competent just extremely cute.  He couldn’t even do a spread sheet on the computer. Eventually he was so overwhelmed that he had like a nervous breakdown and just abandoned the Center one night even leaving the place unlocked. The police called Charles at the time to inform him that the Center was not locked up.  The Center has never chosen a director who had roots in the community.

Well after picking up my car from Charles’ place, I stopped at the Rancho Market on the way home on 9th and North Temple where cherries, nectarines, bananas and onions were on sale... Now to figure out what to do with all this produce... I will can some salsa maybe and make a peach cobbler and maybe jam... Lammas is a busy time with the first harvest...

The rest of the day I worked in the back yard, screwing down deck rails that had loosen, moving flower planters around, and did a little soaking in the hot tub too.

About 5:30 Levon informs me that he is going out because he is “sick of the house”… I knew what he meant but his English skills are kind of offensive lol.

So I was home the rest of the evening puttering around, cleaning the kitchen, and watching a couple of movies on Netflix’s instant watch. I watched a ghost story “the Awakening” which was kind of good but also dragged out.

When I went to bed at 11:30 Levon still was not home and I was worried like a mother hen. I just had to tell myself he’s a big boy and if he can get around Beijing China he certainly can find his way around Salt Lake City.

Singer Edye Gorme died today. Blame it on the Bossa Nova.

 

11 August 2013 Sunday.

I got up at 7 this morning. I am not sure what time Levon Mirakyan got in. I didn’t hear him come in. I fixed me some pancakes for breakfast and got caught up on my journal. It sure can get away from you if you let it.

I spent the morning watering the back yard, it was really dry, and cleaning the side yard where the fire pit is. It’s much nicer now.

I just had another argument with Levon... I was so mad I told him to go to his room! I felt like my dad when I said it but I just didn't want to argue with him anymore... he won't listen… he turns everything around onto me...I even said you wouldn't talk to your mother like you do me.

He didn't get in until around 5 this morning and didn't get up until 5:30 this afternoon...out all night with David saying he helped him clean his house and then went to a party. He gets so belligerent and then when I lose my cool he turns it back on me. I am getting really to the point that I don't care whether he is here or not... He just sleeps and complains.

When he is up he thinks I should stop everything and visit with him... I think I have been more than good to him but I don't see any consideration for my feelings at all. If he doesn’t even have the social cues to shut up when he knows I am losing my patience... But I refuse to be disrespected in my own home. He even went back to smoking after I bought him the nicotine gum.  I am Just venting!

You know if I was in his position I would do everything I could to show some gratitude to someone who had been putting a roof over my head and food on my plate.

He will have to move out. Begin planning this. I will tell him this tomorrow.

Charles Frost wrote me regarding my frustrations with Levon: “He will have to work with Brent Pace to find some place to rent, or move to Mrs. Hovsepian, or The Road Home Homeless Shelter. Those are his choices, and yes, you've done a lot, and it's time you two go your separate ways. This behavior cannot go on. Perhaps David can let him move in with him as well. They seem to be hitting it off quite well.”

I responded, “I am not feeling well either... I started seeing these flashes of light in the corner of my right eye that I need to go see my eye doctor what they are all about....  And I am not getting enough sleep because of the pain in my leg so I am more sensitive I think then normal... I always get stressed out going back to work any way... I care deeply for Levon but I am too old to have a surly teenager... Unless there's a major attitude adjustment ...”

 

12 August 2013 Monday

I needed to figure out why I keep seeing flashes of light out of my right eye which is very annoying and I feel like I am falling apart in stages. So I called Hoopes Vision and they said they could get me in today at 10 this morning so I drove down to Hoopes Vision in Draper to have my eye looked at... My eye test showed I have 20/15 vision and Dr. Hoopes said my retinas are good... floaties and flashes of light are due to aging and that I have elongated eyeballs from having been near sighted all my life.

Dr Hoopes also said my retinas look good no rips or tears but since I had severe near sightedness my eyeball is elongated and the eye jelly sometimes slips.

In the afternoon I worked pulling up all the flag stones I had put down in 2011 in the parking strip in the front yard. The Russian Sage has taken over that area and you couldn’t’ see the stones anyway and they made it hard to pull weeds. I was too tired to haul them out of the back of the truck so that is a job for another day.

I Went and had a deep tissue massage for the old sciatic with Andy McDaniel.  He had all this new vibration equipment and it felt great but it's gonna be a process...He said  People don't do anything to get this ... It's just no fun... However I want to marry this chiropractic table he had me lay on with the rollers.... Pure bliss.  Andy said that he could use Levon Mirakyan as a helper and would pay him $25 a session under the table. I told him I’d ask Levon and he sounded interested.

 

13 August 2013 Tuesday

I was up at 7:30 a.m. to make a chocolate meringue pie for Andy McDaniel for given me such a great message yesterday. Then while it was still relatively cool, I worked laying down at least 150 lbs. of flag stone that I removed from the front yard to the back yard. Glad that is out of the way.

Then I made 6 pints of salsa, and an apple crumb pie for Doug Lott so I had a busy day.

Levon Mirakyan went into work today on the bus but I said I’d pick him up because I wanted to drop off the pie, salsa and some veggies from the garden for Charles Frost.  I am exhausted but feel like I accomplished a lot...I even cranked out a column too for the Q before going to bed. “Oy vey” Maybe I should go soak in the hot tub.

 

14 August 2013 Wednesday

I was in so much pain this morning. My leg felt like it was on fire and being stabbed. I called Andy McDaniels and asked if I could come over this morning for him to work on it and he said sure and he spent 3 hours on it which felt wonderful but as soon as I left it started hurting again.

I called the Redwood Clinic and said I needed a pain shot or something and they said they would get back to me. I laid in bed in misery sometimes bawling from the pain and finally after three hours I called them back and said I will need to go to the emergency room if I can’t get some relief.

They recommended me that I go to a Urgency Care clinic which I did. I drove to Bountiful and the doctor there again said he thought it was bursitis instead of sciatica but it didn’t matter to me I was nearly crying in the doctor’s office. When asked on a scale of 1-10 of pain I said 10… fracturing my finger tip didn’t hurt as much as I was feeling. I was prescribed tramadol  and went and got it and then went to bed in so much pain.

I wrote on Face book-“Not a good day... At urgency care after waiting 3 hours for my regular doctor who never got back to me... I just would like the pain to stop so I could at least sleep... I have no idea how I am going to concentrate going back to work next week if I don't get some relief ... Sorry for being a downer today.”

I wrote Kyle Foote saying,

“Dear Kyle, I had every intention of seeing you today in Gunnison but instead I ended up in the Urgency Care. It’s been a rough two weeks. Since I last wrote you I have been a hurting mess.

I went to the gym and instead of just walking fast on the tread mill I tried jogging some but the next day by leg began to be sore. I just tried to toughen it out and went to Sutherlands where I bought five 12 foot treated boards to use as support beams across the hot tub. I had measured and knew they would fit so I tossed them up the best I could and maneuvered them into place and then climbed up the ladder to hammer them into place. Levon didn’t have a clue to what to do and I knew it would be just easier to do it myself rather than lose my patience trying to explain to Levon what I wanted done or argue with him wanting to do it his way.

Well I spaced them and measured them and everything was going great until the last nail in the center beam. I guess because my glasses are for close up now I swung down hard and missed the nail and smashed my left index finger. It hurt like hell and bleed like a stuck pig. But I bandaged it and finished driving in the last nail.

Charles came over to hot tub and I told him what I did and said I need to go to urgent care but I said if it didn’t stop bleeding by morning I would. Well it didn’t stop bleeding so on the 26th I went to urgency care and after x-rays they said I had fractured my finger tip. So had to wear a splint for a few weeks and while there had them look at my back and leg and they thought it was either a pinched sciatic nerve or bursitis in the hip from having gone jogging on it and inflamed the joint.

Well I lived on ibuprofen for about 2 weeks feeling well enough to work some more on the deck. I saw that at Sutherlands they had 6 foot cedar planks for $1.29 and I thought bingo I will put up a privacy fence. I had put a blue tarp over the beams because grapes were dropping everywhere and I secured the rainbow flag beneath the tarp as a ceiling. I used the buzz saw and screwed in cross beams to attach the planks and it was so easy and looked so good that I continued making a fence midway on both sides of the deck keep the lattice at the very front. I was very proud of it and only took about $100 worth of material.

The deck looks really finished so I worked on the fire pit…moved the swing to that area and carried all the flag stone out front on the curb  to the back yard and that is when I became crippled. I was in so much pain I just cried…my regular doctor couldn’t see me so I went to urgency care today and they proscribed some Tramadol. Honestly Kyle smashing my finger didn’t hurt as much as the pain I am in.  It especially hurts when I sit up so I didn’t dare drive down today. I was nauseous from the pain.

But now after taking the pain pill it is tolerable to sit and write you this brief letter. Between taking Chuck to the hospital for his toe amputation and taking in Levon it’s been a hard summer.

My doctor gave me a prescription for some physical therapy also.  I was so looking forward to seeing you today but these pills also make me dizzy so it might be a while before I can get my strength back up.

School starts for me next week on the 22nd and I just don’t know how I am going to handle it if it doesn’t get better. If any of my dogs were in as much pain as I am I wouldn’t hesitate to put them down.  If this pain becomes my life I don’t know what I will do but it’s no life to be in this much misery.

I hope you made a decision about strive. Whatever you do I support you in your decision. I hope to hear from you but I know you are busy with school and work. If something happens to me and you don’t hear from me just know, I love and will always love you and as I always asked you to do… be good.

Your friend always Ben

 

15 August 2013 Thursday

Bill Poore came over about 10 this morning to clean my house the sweet thing. He really scrubbed the kitchen and vacuumed the front room. It ticked me off that Levon Mirakyan wasn’t up to help Bill and when he did get up, he complained that Bill was too noisy!

Anyway Levon didn’t go into work today which I knew would piss Charles Frost off and it did, because he texted me and told me that he fired Levon today and that the Pride Center would not be helping him anymore. I really truly couldn’t blame him because Levon never took responsibility for anything down there. Well that’s that.

I told Levon that I’d take him down to his doctor’s appointment at the Maliheh Free Clinic on 39th South and 5th East. His appointment was at 5:15 and I thought at the most he’d be there an hour and a half but he was there until 8:45! I sat out in the car the whole time and called people and played spider solitaire on my iPhone.

Then he tells me he has to go back tomorrow to get tested for STD’s…Sheeshs he was just tested about a week or so ago. My leg really started to ache again waiting for him while sitting in the car.

 

16 August 2013 Friday

Levon Mirakyan took the bus in to the city to make it to his appointment with Brent Pace at 10:00. I bet he knows he screwed the pooch at the Pride Center yesterday. The little shit if he would have done that yesterday  he wouldn't had had a shitty day and got fired..

Although he took the bus in to see Brent Pace, I came about 11:30 to picked him up for his doctor’s appointment again but this time I had him take the bus back home which he did. He went in for STD testing again. That boy has some real issues about sex and diseases.

Anyway when he came home he fixed himself some lunch and then rode his bike over to Andy McDaniels’ to make some money as an assistant.  He was there all night.

Doctor Stoneburner must have called in some pain pills for me yesterday because the pharmacy called and said I had Hydrocodone there ready to pick up which I did... Never heard of it...

My other urgency care doctor gave me Tramadol which I have taken... The pain has subsided but just a little sore especially if I sit too long.

Bill Poore wrote me: Listen some of the drug friends will be asking for the hydrocodone.....don't give it away.  Put it in a back closet, you might need it someday...Never give pain meds away.  Keep it away from the boy, wow you are so not an addict.”

I said “I need my pain pills ...mothers little helpers… I am going to make you some banana nut bread with sugar substitute... I bought a boat load of bananas and they are ripening fast in this heat.

Bill Poore responded, “but don't leave them [drugs]out in your kitchen , which is what little druggies look for.  You would be surprised who would just take a few. Put them in your bedroom. So when will the bread be ready?????? What are you doing this weekend?” I answered, “I'll bake it tomorrow morning... Sunday I think I will be well to go see Kyle Foote before school starts back up but have no plans Saturday if you want to watch a movie.”

Bill Poore then said, “Ben that is a long drive, you could get in real trouble on the road with the pain, you better think this through, Kyle will be there you don't need to make your back worse.”

Charles Frost wrote me: Hydrocodone is generic LORTAB honey.

 

17 August 2013 Saturday

I Spent much of my morning working on my blog “This Day in Gay Utah History” while Levon Mirakyan still slept. I fixed myself a breakfast of sausage patties and pancakes with sugar free syrup. I made a cup of coffee but didn’t drink much of it. I’ve come to the conclusion that I like making coffee more than drinking it.

My hip and leg were sore this morning so just rested it some but it sure hurt  sitting while typing on the computer.

Well about noon I decided to put the finishing touches on the hot tub deck by putting  a flat railing across the lattice part so I could sit things on it or put planters on it. It went remarkably smooth and I had planks in the garage anyway that I could cut up and use. I even notched them out so they would fit more snug. Since the wood was not treated I even took some of the old paint in the garage and painted the boards so they should weather nicely.

I even screwed in better some of the railings that Kyle Foote had just nailed in to make them more secure.  It only took about 2 hours to do the last bits and if I hadn’t done anything else this summer at least I finished off the deck.

I then took a nap and when I got up Levon was in the kitchen fixing himself something to eat. He said he made $40 at Andy McDaniel’s place so at least he is bringing in some money now. He left about 4:30 to go back over to Andy’s. I just cleaned house and hung out.  My Kratom came today. I am anxious to see whether it works or not. Kratom is an herbal supplement to treat chronic pain and mood disorders. I should make Levon take it too.

 

18 August 2013 Sunday

At 5:30 this morning, Levon Mirakyan wakes me up and says there's a Mexican down stairs...Half asleep I was scared to death...I asked “does he have a gun? What does he want? And why did you leave him to come up stairs to tell me?”

I couldn't find my damn phone...so I am telling Levon to call 911 but Levon goes down stairs and tells the guy to get out; that he had to leave. The guy left by the garage door.

Then Levon asks me why I was so upset and says the Mexican was just a young drunk guy probably on drugs and I said that is supposed to comfort me?

Woken up with a stranger in my house, who came through the front door that was left unlocked... I told him that my parents were kidnapped in the middle of the night by a home invasion.

I said he had to check and make sure all the doors are locked before going to bed. I think we were incredibly lucky this kid was not looking for drugs. Levon found him in hiding in the down stairs closet beneath the stairs... Levon said he thought he was a friend of mind and I said I don't have any friends that come over in the middle of the night and hides in closets. I am still shook up.

I have calmed down a little and it seems so surreal now but discomforting knowing someone came into the house.

Bill Poore came over while Levon was away and I gave him a loaf of banana nut bread I made for him and sent him home with a bunch of lasagna that Levon doesn’t seem to be interested in eating.

Later Bill Poore wrote: “did you check to see if your drugs are still there. You should never mention you have pain killers on face book or internet....people will break in to get them or stop by just to say hi.....this does not make sense to me, something is wrong with this picture, Hope you are alright. I ate all the lasagna.  I think I am going to die...It was so fucking good. Thanks.” I responded, “I am just tired...You are an addict.”

 

19 August 2013 Monday

Levon Mirakyan worked today for Andy McDaniels and I worked almost all day on my “This Day In Gay Utah History” Blog trying to get it done in advance now that going back to school is upon me.

The legendary Jose Saria, the Widow Norton died today. He was the founder of the Imperial Court System and a prominent Gay rights activist.

 

20 August 2013 Tuesday

I went into work at Washington Elementary in Bountiful, finally. I got in about 9:00. I worked until noon putting things away that had gotten dumped from 6th grade. I have 19 students so far this year and I know just about all of them so that is really going to help with the transition.

Charles Frost wanted to meet for lunch one last time before school starts back up so we went to Greek Souvlaki on 3rd South and 4th East. We visited for almost two hours. He said that the fuss now at the center is that Joe Gonzales had hired a homeless man with Valerie’s initial consent to watch the place at night because I guess where the center is located now a lot of transients and homeless will pee, crap, and fuck there at night under the upper parking tier.

But the straight women there, wanted him fired so Valerie caved in and did so even though this Roger fellow who is a homeless Gay guy was doing a good job keeping people away at night. Oh well. It’s always something isn’t it.

Levon Mirakyan didn’t work today but wanted me to take him to Wells Fargo because he had an overdraft for using another bank’s ATM machine to withdraw money. I convinced him to just close his account because he doesn’t need a bank with him not having any real money coming in.

I told him that this Saturday I’d help him open an account at American First where he won’t have to pay for any services.

In the evening he wanted to watch some silly movie with Jim Carey and Steve Carrell in it call the “Incredible Burt Wonderstone”. It was okay fluff. I went to bed by 9:30 to get up early tomorrow. Running out of time.

I was really, really tired today.

There a bunch of pissed off Democrats that are looking to scalp Jim Dabakis for helping this guy in my City Council district with some data when he isn’t a Democrat. A lot of people were making comments on Face Book about.

Charles Frost wrote that Michael Aaron posted Bob Henline’s comments about it and said, “Bob is getting too big for his britches. He's been calling Jim Dabakis out a lot lately. He's on the hunt for Dabakis and his strategies whenever he gets a chance. Your thoughts?”

I responded, “I think Bob Henline is treading on thin ice and needs to be more careful calling out people in the Gay community... I think he likes to pick fights... If I have to take sides it will be with Jim.”

Charles Lynn Frost then added, “I think Bob gets delusions of power and grandeur. Of course and Utah Democrat leader does, including Jim. Jim needs to remember his base if he hopes to be re-elected. He's becoming more of a snake oil politician every day, pandering to the Mormons. I had to agree with Bob's post the other day--about Jim selling the Queers short on wanting to change the language around Marriage Equality. Groveling at its worst. He needs to call out the inequality and guised homophobia, not play into it! Jesus Jim.”

I replied “I look at the people calling for Jim’s blood- Bob Henline, David Nelson and Mike Picardi and they all have an ax to grind... Jim is not a Gay Senator he is a state Senator and has to look at all points of views but where it counts he stands up for us... I think Bob is deliberately stirring shit up because of his hatred of Jim Matheson God! Bob would rather have Mia Love representing Utah then Jim?... What did Eva Peron teach us but that “politics is the art of the possible?”

Charles Lynn Frost said, “Well on that point Bob is wrong. He needs to be careful as well, before the queer community altogether begins ignoring him, like others that have come and gone.”

I ended the conversation by saying, “Especially since he's "straight" until he takes it up the ass or sucks some dick he can't possibly relate to our core issues.”

Bill Poore commented about it all saying, “This issue with Jim is a non-issue.  It pales in comparison to what corruption, lies and bullshit we see in the Republican Party every day in this state.  There is no reason to make a dollar issue out of a penny issue.

When I moved back to Utah I was shocked how the Democratic Party just lets the Republicans and the press walk all over them.  Jim is a breath of fresh air, at least he attacks back.  I don't agree with a lot of what he says but he has more ball than the lesbians at the Pride Center.

 I might join in on that conversation but I would just tell everyone to focus on the real issue like the chairman of the country republicans calling Sim Gill a cop hater, please… and then the State Chairman supported his statements today. They are going to try to create a scandal (tea party) to win the election when in fact it will all be made up by them in the press and the fucking press like little lap dogs will give it air time...”.

 

21 August 2013 Wednesday

My leg was excruciating when I got up this morning so I didn’t get to school until nearly 10 a.m. but I stayed until 4:15 and got a lot more accomplished. Finally got to yak with Mrs. Everson. She will be okay but she’s no Jeny Peterson.  When I got home Levon Mirakyan said he was going to go to work so I said throw your bike in the back of the truck and I will take you. I can see he didn’t do anything but laze around all day.

After taking Coco home I cleaned the kitchen, cooked some squash from the garden and worked on my blog until 7. Then I took a nice 20 minute dip in the hot tub to try and relax the leg. Well summer is two thirds over as of today. It sure has been a long hot one.

 

22 August 2013 Thursday

My first official day back to work. We had a French toast breakfast provided by the school and then we talked about the new year. I guess we did terrible on our scores according to the new assessment. First time ever.

Bill Poore wrote me; “How did you do on the first day back....Are you going to go down and see Kyle Foote this weekend? I think just because someone breaks the law against the U. S Government (Manning) that the tax payers should not pay for hormonal therapy and sex change.  The ACLU and a lot of Transgender Organizations said the government should pay for this.  Bull Fucking Shit. There are a lot of trans in prison as we speak that is not getting this help.”

I inquired, “So is he serving in the women prison?” Bill responded, “I have no idea, it is a federal prison he is going to....I just don't see why they have to make breaking the law into a LGBT issue.  I worked in communications in the service.  This guy took the same oath I did. I would never done what he did.”

 

23 August 2013 Friday

I was at school most of the day getting the room in shape but I know I will have to go in tomorrow. Levon Mirakyan wanted to treat me to dinner tonight so we went to China Delight even though I wasn’t really all that hungry.

Bill Poore asked: “how is school going, how is the leg holding out? you never did answer me about going to see your own little prison boy this weekend? Manning might be at a military prison, not sure.  I am going to check on that.  A military prison would be no walk in the  park.” I answered, “I am too busy this weekend to go see Kyle...I am going in tomorrow to work to finish getting ready for school to start Monday.

Some days I think my leg is getting better than other days I can hardly bear it especially in the mornings... I have not taken but one of the Hydrocodone just been taking tramadol about once a day but I only have about 4 left... I am going into school to work all day so I probably be too tired to do anything.”

 

24 August 2013 Saturday

It was a Long day, but finally home from putting in 8 hours at school today...putting up last minute bulletin boards, making lesson plans for next week, name tags, and all the minutia of elementary school.

The room was 85 degrees for most of the day even with fans going so I am dried up, like a prune. I took work home to do tonight...I am Back to school on Monday...At least my leg is cooperating some. I am keeping the pain down to a dull ache... I bought cupcakes and water bottles to bring for the kids for 1st day.

I’ve Been eating on the soup Charles Lynn Frost made for me all week... It's been a god send ... I’m too tired to cook for myself and the soup is delicious.

I’ve Just worked on my Blog for most of the evening before going to bed.

Levon Mirakyan was out with Brent Pace’s support group at a Soccer game. I got a letter from Kyle today. It means a lot when he writes me.

 

25 August 2013 Sunday

I Picked up my medicine from Rose Park Smiths and did some grocery shopping. I felt like baking today and I made some banana bread out of the over ripe bananas, an apple betty with some apples that were getting soft, and I made a chicken pot pie.

While doing all this I finished off True Blood Season 5 on Netflix. So I was pretty productive today.

Levon Mirakyan didn’t get up until 4:00 this afternoon. I wasn’t even sure he was home. He left for work and when I went to soak in the hot tub, I noticed he had turned it down to 96 degrees from 104 which kind of made me mad because I like the heat on my leg. Oh well.

I am not sure why I am keeping Levon around. Now that he’s working for Andy McDaniels he doesn’t help around the house at all or help keep up with the yard work, But I don’t want to make his work anymore difficult than it has to be.

Rocky O’Donovan’s Radical Faerie group held their August Heart Circle tonight but I don’t feel up to going with school starting tomorrow.

Michael Ferguson posted this-"Keep always in mind the heroic objective of liberating one of the largest minorities from the solitary confinement of social persecution and civil insecurity." Harry Hay was a prophet: a man with spiritual vision, ahead of his time. I'm thankful to Connell O'Donovan and Ben Williams for their generosity with knowledge and their openness of heart. These two men have opened me up to a world of history and spiritual tradition that continues to change my life for the better.”

I wrote a letter to Kyle Foote today.

“Dear Kyle, I got your letter yesterday so I thought I better respond before I get too busy with school starting tomorrow. Yes school starts tomorrow so summer vacation is at an end.

However I was in all last week to get my room ready for 6th grade.  I have a small class and many of the same kids I had last year so hopefully the year won’t be too stressful.

My leg is slowly on the mend but still hurts, usually in the morning it’s something awful until I can get a pain pill into me. I am trying to be really careful with and mostly using Aleve and ibuprofen to deal with the soreness. I have been taking tramadol mostly and I have hydrocodone as a backup that I’ve only had to take once.

 I’ve looked for your sunglasses and they are nowhere to be found so I imagine they are lost. Sorry about that. I know you really liked them. Do they let you wear sun glasses in prison? They make me take off my reading glasses even when I go to see you.

 I understand what you mean about one day flowing into another. The days I forget to write in my journal are lost. I draw a blank and can’t think what I did.

            I think it’s the wise thing to do to concentrate on your studies. It’s probably hard enough to do it like home studies. I took a few classes like that and it is not as easy as you think especially without strict deadlines.

            I don’t know if you will ever get them but I ordered a year subscription to the Advocate, Out Magazine, and the Salt Lake Q through a special offer that Michael Aaron was promoting. I hope you get them but Michael said he’s had trouble before getting his magazine into prison.

            I don’t know what to do about Levon. About a week ago he stopped going in to the Pride Center to work like he’s supposed to and Charles fired him so the center isn’t helping him out anymore. I kind of feel like here I was asked to help take him in and now they dropped him and I am left feeling responsible for him.

 I was able to find him some part time work under the table from a friend of mine so he has some money now so I am not having to take care of him completely but still I am very ambivalent about him living here anymore but I can’t just kick him out to be homeless either.

            I finished off the deck before going back to work by cutting flat railing boards to go on top of the lattice on both sides of the deck so people could set glasses or drinks on it if standing around. I did a nice job and I also put longer screws in some of the step railings that had only one nail in them to make them more secure. I think if you saw it you would be proud.

Last Sunday I had a fright when at 5:30 in the morning Levon wakes me up and says there's a Mexican down stairs...Half asleep I was scared to death...I asked does he have a gun? What does he want? And why did he leave him to come up stairs to tell me...I couldn't find my damn phone...so I am telling Levon to call 911 but Levon simply tells the guy to get out that he had to leave and so he left by the garage door...

Levon asked me why I was so upset and said he was just a young drunk kid probably on drugs. I said that is supposed to comfort me. Woken up with a stranger in my house who came through the front door that was left unlocked! I told Levon that my parents had been kidnapped in the middle of the night by a home invasion. I said from now one he had to check and make sure all the doors are locked before going to bed.

 I think we were incredibly lucky this kid was not looking for drugs. Levon found him in hiding in the down stairs closet beneath the stairs... Levon said he thought he was a friend of mine and I said I don't have any friends that come over in the middle of the night and hides.  He’s been good at locking up now but my security is shaken. Daisy and Buddy didn’t even bark!

I guess you heard Jose Sarria died, the Widow Norton and Empress of Mexico who founded the Imperial Court systems in San Francisco back in 1965. Legendary Gay man.

Well I better get going and put this in the mail or I will be way too busy next week. Love Ben

 

26 August 2013 Monday

I was up early to head off school. I am as prepared as I ever will be. I have 18 students in my class most of them really low but at least they won’t be trouble. It was an early out day so that made it more bearable.

I took a tramadol  last night but I am weaning myself off of them. Well it’s the start of another school year at Washington. It was not stifling hot and in fact quite mild today. So that’s a blessing.  It will all work out or it won’t.

 

27 August 2013 Tuesday

Being a historian has its draw backs.  I dreamed vividly I was in the middle of a Roman civil war where opposition factions were slaughtering each other and reducing the city to ruble...since I was on neither side, I had to hide in the failing infrastructure. DNA memory or too many Little Caesar commercials?

I rarely earn the devotion that Buddy gives me...it's a lesson he is teaching me. He is a sweet dog...I have had many sweet dogs but he's especially gentle and sweet... A real sissy dog.

First full day of school and no prep time yet. I will survive. Don’t see Levon Mirakyan much anymore. He’s in bed when I leave and he goes off to Andy McDaniel’s when I get home.

I talked to Charles Frost some today he’s really discouraged being at the Center.

 

28 August 2013 Wednesday

It’s a rough day without any prep for teachers this week so I just keep the kids busy. Anyone else nauseated as much as I am over KSL's coverage of the Martin Luther King March on Washington? You'd think that Mormons had linked arms with the marchers and sang “we shall overcome with them”...the leaders of the Mormon church blasted the civil rights movement calling it a phony and dupes of the Communists. They even called MLK a communist. It took them 15 years after the march to even grant Black men the same priesthood privileges and even then Utah was one of the last states to make MLK birthday a holiday and even then they slammed he man by calling it Human Rights Day for nearly 10 years... Pathetic how they try to rewrite history...I guess it's easier to lie then do the right thing in the first place. The Party of Lincoln sure was conspicuously absent from today's celebration of the 50th anniversary of the March on Washington.

 

29 August 2013 Thursday

It’s “Back to School Night so it was a long day. I don’t know why I bothered since only 7 parents showed up! Grant you I do have a small class but 7! I think a lot of it is because they know me already and the Mexican and Polynesian parents rarely show up for school functions like this. But as it was I didn’t get home until 8:00 this evening and Michael Romero had to come over to feed the dogs and take Coco home.

 

30 August 2013 Friday

Thank God it was a short day today. The rooms are heating back up with the weather going back up into the high 90’s. I gave my first math and spelling tests today but had not graded them yet to see what the kids will be like.

 

I know a lot of them from last year and I don’t have the sharpest kids in the world. Kids like art that is really messy...we made prehistoric cave paintings and had the kids splatter paint over their hands for their signature...

Then after lunch taught them how to boot scooting boogie... Yeah we will get to math and spelling at some point.

After school let out we had a quick faculty meeting and my principal Liz Beck provided these ice-popsicle  treats from Pace Dairy that Mrs. Pratt’s family use to own. We just really just sat around as a faculty and took a deep breath for the start of another year.

We got a D as a school from the amount of students who dropped a few points on the new grading system that the state legislators, in all their stupidity have implemented. It will just show that Title One schools and poor schools and schools with large minorities will do more poorly then affluent schools but they will never put more money into education so what is the big deal.

 When I came home Steven Bolinder, now calling himself “Tilly” came over to groom the dogs. Coco was being such a little shit that we groomed Daisy first which I am glad we did because he found that at the tip of her tail the hair had grown inward and he pulled out strains almost 2 inches that was matted with crud. He had never seen it before and said I should take Daisy in for a checkup.

Michael Romero came over to get Coco after she was done and all in all “Tilly” was done by 7. He said that “Chevy” was his old Court name and now that he’s no longer a member of the Royal Court he is going by his “sisterhood” name. Crazy kid.

I heard from Kent Scadlock that Chuck Copeland is in serious pain and up at the ER with kidney failure and all kinds of problems. Poor guy.

Well its Friday and I am pooped from this week.

 

31 August 2013 Saturday

My leg was a little achy this morning, so I decided to take the Sonoma truck down to Gunnison because it has cruise control and I am glad I did. The air condition doesn’t work anymore in the truck but it was overcast much of the way down so it was really quite a pleasant drive.

I got to Gunnison about noon and at the check-in point I was stopped for a surprised car inspection. These cute cadets probably in their very early 20’s came out with their fatigues fitting snuggly over their cute butts and searched my truck. I am so glad I took the truck instead of the car because they would have taken out the futon and everything to search. When they asked if I had medical marijuana I just burst into a giggle for some reason. The question made me laugh but then I worried they might find something Michael Ferguson may have left behind when Seth borrowed the truck for Park City… but nothing… that was a relief.

Then I checked in and about 12:30 Kyle Foote came to see me in the waiting room. He wasn’t hungry because he had just eaten but I bought him a Mr. Pibb. They didn’t carry Dr. Pepper. We rambled about not a whole lot. I Got him caught up on things that had happened since I last wrote him…like Amy Barry losing her election and Jim Dabakis pissing off the Democrats.

 

We talked about his job which he really liked but means leaving the pod area that he’s in. I Told him how I read where the state may be expanding Gunnison instead of housing prisoners in county jails.

We talked about his family and how detached he was from them at an early age. I asked if he had thought about going back in the Air Force Reserves when he gets out. I said I would try to come down again for his birthday in October since it’s on the UEA break.

The time just goes so quickly and slowly at the same time and when the guard came to tell him his time was up, I just held him close to my heart and told him I love him and I guess I do. Weird. When I leave I always get this empty feeling like a part of me is missing.

The trip home was uneventful and I was home by 5 p.m. and tired. I just don’t do well on car trips anymore. The days of Long car trips are behind me.

Levon Mirakyan left, about the time I came home, for Andy McDaniels and I just watched some of Big Brother, catching up with the Wednesday and Thursday episodes. It Should be winding down now that it will be September tomorrow.

I Think I will watch “Priscilla Queen of the Desert” and enjoy a road trip by proxy.

 The IRS ruled this week that married Gay couples can file joint income tax returns whether their marriage is recognized in the state they reside in. In 1977 President Carter’s administration ordered The Internal Revenue Service to drop a rule that required Gay educational and charitable groups to publicly state that homosexuality is “a sickness, disturbance, or diseased pathology.” We have come a long way baby.

 

 

SEPTEMBER

1 September 2013 Sunday

I Finally got rid of the old wooden picnic table that Kyle Foote bought at Lowes. It was too heavy for me to move so I took the buzz saw and cut it up into bits...now I have even more firewood... Getting my yard chores done feels good... and moving junk out to the street for the pickup.

The Carters across the street are gone and it looks like someone else is moving in. They left a pile trash on the street that was the length of their property!

Levon Mirakyan came in this morning about 6 and said he couldn’t sleep because Andy McDaniel’s had a psychotic episode last night. I guess he got to drinking in the hot tub and something caused him to flash back to the war and he took off running for home!

Levon went after him and caught up with him and calmed him down and he came back to the house and fell asleep on the bed downstairs and Levon slept on the couch but didn’t really sleep worried that Andy might do something crazy in the state he was in.

On their way back to the house I guess the police was over in front of the Carter’s because there was a big screaming match between these women. I didn’t hear it but it wasn’t the Carters because Levon said the women were smoking and the Carters are active Mormons. Crazy neighborhood. I Have no idea what is going on.

 

2 September 2013 Monday Labor Day

I Over did the yard work yesterday and my bum leg is letting me know it...but I’m just on Aleve and not narcotics so yippee. I noticed my neighbors of 14 years up and moved this weekend... I am the last man standing in my neighborhood... I’ve been here 17 years come October. While everyone else comes and goes

            The Carter's ...really strange...packed up their crap with a huge van...left lots of crap and a huge pile I mean huge for the city cleanup... Today some 15 year old boys were over there at the Carters cleaning the crap left over... I have a feeling they lost that house and had to move quickly... They didn't leave it in a state to sell it... Weird.

I went over to Chuck Whyte's to visit with his brother who's in town this morning and he’s a raving Democratic Socialist like me and I then over went over to Charles Frost to visit and dropped some squash off... I have no clue where Bill Poore lives or I'd had gone over to see him.

I Spent much of the evening working on my computer picture files and went to bed about nine when Levon came home and wanted to talk about issues at his work. I guess he needed to talk about it with someone. This time it was about  some woman he works with.

Earlier I had made a pork loin roast, squash, a salad, parsley potatoes, and brought it over to Andy’s with some Banana Nut Bread to feed them. It’s Crazy world.

 

3 September 2013 Tuesday

Back to school and I hope I don’t get in trouble for showing a YouTube clip on Mesopotamia that had some male nudity in a carving. Normally I would have previewed it first but I didn’t this time. It’s just art but you never know what will set Mormon parents off. Rain driving home and it made the air smell so fresh.

 

4 September 2013 Wednesday

My old friend Ben Anderson and his partner Mattia Lumaca were the first in the state of Utah to be issued military ID cards at Hill Air Force Base! Historic Day. Ben Anderson just called me and said yesterday Hill Air Force lifted its ban on same sex couples and he and Mattias Lumaca were the first to register in Utah and Mattia received a military ID. He is an Italian seeking citizenship and married to Ben in New York City although Ben has many ties to Utah.

Matias get full access to the Commissary on base, can get medical insurance for $250 annually which will cover all his medical expenses, medicine, and free use of airplanes to any place in the world that has a military base.

Ben said this would apply to any active duty service personnel or who has retired not just disabled vets...No new outlet covered the story about Hill Air force base even though it was historic day. Happened yesterday the 3rd and today Obama is ordering the VA to give benefits to same sex partners.

 

5 September 2013 Thursday

After dropping Coco off  at Michael Romero’s I came home and couldn’t get the key out of the ignition. Ugh.

There was a Tribune article about Provo Gay Pride and again Valerie Larabee was quoted and gave misinformation about Salt Lake’s Pride Day. I wrote to Charles Frost: -Valerie Larabee should check her facts. We have had Gay Pride Day here in SLC since Joe Redburn organized Gay Freedom Day in 1974! But what does she care about history? Not much it seems... The Pride Center people can never get it’s facts straight and its disappointing because it will be in print.”

Charles Frost wrote: “Email her and the UPC Board, and Jim Dabakis, Michelle Turpin, Beano Solomon, and Brandie Balken. That'll Get you some attention! Let me know if you need email addresses.”

 

6 September 2013 Friday

So I go out to start my car this morning but the battery is dead because I couldn't get the key out of the ignition...so I took the truck...good thing I have a backup... I left work early so I could call AAA and they sent a man out to come and start my car... So I took Coco home but over at Mike Romero’s the key was stuck again so I am going to  have to take it into Lodders and have it looked at. Luckily when I got back home again the key came out so my battery won’t wear down over the weekend.

 

7 September 2013 Saturday

Went into work at Washington this morning at 10:00 for about 4 hours to get caught up on some school work and get ready for next week. It’s all donated time since I get paid on contract not hourly. I Didn't take any pain pills today even Aleve...still a little achy but do not want to get hooked on them. Save them when I really need them and as I am getting older I am sure I will.

 

The ignition switch went out on the PT Cruiser and can’t get it looked at until Monday...I am Glad I have a backup plan...my truck...when you live alone you become as self-sufficient as you can.

In the evening it started to get dark like rain is coming.

Charles Frost wrote: “It's raining here. Doug was on the patio, and just came in. He was getting all wet.” That started a conversation were I replied, “I am on my porch and I feel a few drops... Just saw some lightning.” Charles continued: We are in our living room, and it is still raining and thundering. Doug came in, and it is smelling great.”

Then we began to talk about what is going on in Provo. He wrote:  Valerie is panicking that Provo is breaking away from her grasp, with PFLAG, Pride, Equality Utah invading Provo. She is very territorial about it all. I hope they are successful and that they keep it going. She'll try, just like she has already done with Moab to rope them into her corral. I hope they don't do it.”

I had posted on my Face book “Utah has been celebrating Gay Pride Days since 1974 when they were first called it Gay Freedom Days. Pride was to counter act the shame that society had foisted on Gay people. I have been attending Pride Days since 1986 and I can tell you Drag Queens never played football. LOL... The Lesbians played softball and some Gay men played volleyball... Check out The Utah Stonewall Historical Society' site on FB for accurate information...”  This is what started Charles and I talking.

He wrote I am glad you are keeping them correct on what went down. Sincerely.”

I responded that Provo will be okay and I remember marching in Logan in 1993 down a street lined with haters yelling all kinds of ugly words at us. Thought for sure someone would shoot one of us. The only time I was ever scared but had to be there to support the small Cache valley group...

I am surprised that Valerie hasn't branched Pride Day out since she is “the” Utah Pride Center...she should have franchises in Southern Utah Eastern Utah and Northern Utah supporting and helping Pride Days in Ogden, Logan, Provo, St. George, Moab, even Price... since the Center isn't a community center any more but a Pride Day revenue generator.”

Charles said, “Read the email I sent to you. I think she's on record in that article, but I know Megan is the one that deals with all out of town Pride Fests. I hope they don't let her get her tentacles on their event. Ogden, Moab, Red Rock Women's Music Fest have all withdrawn from her help because she demands financial control. Remind me to tell you the Bob Henline, Michael Aaron, and Allen Miller saga. Michael Aaron is attracting major drama & upheaval right now from somewhere.

I Private Messengered Daniel Ogden asking him about his marriage, and he let me know all about Fernando Noriega. Such a mess we young gay men create with money and deception. Fernando will have a lot to live this down, especially with Michael Aaron calling out the promoters, etc. Such messiness.

Who was that Royal Court Lesbian that embezzled all that Pride $$$ and allowed Valerie (via Paula McCunty Woolfe) to own it today?”

I wrote Kyle today.

“Dear Kyle, Your letter came last Tuesday after Memorial Day. As I am writing this to you we are having a nice thunder rain storm to finally cool off the temperature.

Sorry I haven’t gotten back with you sooner. It’s been a busy week at school. Still trying to play catch up and build my curriculum back up for 6th grade. In fact I went in today, Saturday, for 4 hour to work on school stuff. It’s like donating $100 since its all on my own time. I would have stayed longer but it was getting too hot in the classroom. It’s still in the mid-90’s up here in Salt Lake so my classroom has been running about 85 degrees or higher in the late afternoons. If they did that in prisons they would have a law suit but hey we are just public education.

Last winter the Legislature passed a law saying all schools had to have a letter grade based on student growth. All the Title One schools with poor students or minority students got D’s and F’s and all the east bench schools and charter schools where they pick their kids got B’s and above. West High School got an F and so did Viewmont because of simply one criteria. We got a D…

Out of my class last year half of my kids were proficient or higher but because all went down a point or two from last year even though I had one girl go up 19 points, the same thing happened in most of the classes, therefore we got a D.

It’s just the Legislators way of trying to turn the public against public education to try and instate the voucher system for private schools. They copied the Florida model for grading but did not cap class room size or add more money to the budget like Florida did. Oh well I am retiring after a few years.

My PT Cruiser is giving me problems. I noticed that my key was kind of sticking and last Thursday I couldn’t even take the key out of the ignition. So I left it in and overnight it ran the battery down because there’s a computer chip that keeps the car on if the key of in the ignition.

So I took the truck to work and am running it all this weekend but Monday I am taking it to Lodders in Bountiful to have them probably put a new ignition switch in it. I love my Cruiser if it has a few dents and dings from when I couldn’t see before having my cataracts removed.

My leg is better but still achy but I’ve stopped taking any pain pills for it because I don’t want to have to rely on them. I use a heating pad still at night on it though. Other than that I feel in pretty good health except just tired from the heat and the going back to work.

I think I told you that the Mormons right across the street from me moved out quickly. There’s a Polynesian family living there now. I doubt whether I ever will get to know them. The Carters lived across the street for 14 years and we never really spoke. They were trashy people anyway. The house finally looks clean for the first time in years and years.

The Utah State Fair is going on. I’d like to go to see the livestock, the veggies, canned goods, and quilts but can’t get any one to go with me. Levon thinks anything dealing with farming is peasant stuff. I think it’s fun also just to sit and people watch but I guess I won’t this year.

Salt Lake City is hosting its first Comic.Com and all the geeks are having fun. William Shatner is here and a host of others. That would have been fun too but again no one to go with.

Provo, Utah is having their very first Pride Day on September 21st and everyone is in a dither about it. Every write up about it screws up the original Pride Day date for Salt Lake City…Some say 1983 some say the late 80’s…ha!

It was 1974 when we had the first Gay Freedom Day…five years before you were born. I didn’t attend. I was being the good 23 year old Mormon boy at BYU having sex in the Wilkinson Center bathrooms. It’s what we did then LOL.

I probably will go down to support it. They aren’t having a parade just a day in the park but Utah County is aghast “Barbarians at the Gate!”

Well the latest scandal or news here in Slut Lake City belongs to old Fernando Noriega. Last Spring I had heard that Daniel Ogden had wanted out of the Gay Hot Spot business and Noriega bought him out and became its sole owner.

In June he brought in all this RuPaul Drag Race Entertainers and go go boys who performed at the Depot. Charles Frost said it was a disaster but Seth and Michael said it was the greatest night of their lives…so when Fernando began to promote VIP tickets to a RuPaul Drag Show for October for an early discount price of $39 I bought a ticket because I KNEW Seth and Michael would probably go.

About 30 of Fernando’s supporters did and then all of a sudden you didn’t hear anything more. Well I did hear from Charles that Fernando was hitting the party boy circuit scene pretty hard… drugs and pretty boys’ cock and ass and I noticed that he stopped being involved in the community; even though he had leased the old Marmalade Café and center and was going to make it the new digs for the Gay Hot Spot.

Well yesterday... Michael Aaron posted this “If you purchased VIP tickets to the Sharon Needles show from the now-defunct The Gay Hot Spot, please message me here asap.”

And then he went on a tirade about the Gay Hot Spot being dissolved, Fernando moving off to Montreal, and leaving everyone holding the bag for the defunct October concert.

So Fernando posted this “Hey Y'all .. for those of you who haven't heard, or who I haven't contacted or replied to personally ... I am moving to Montreal and actually already moved out of Utah! But the same group who helped put on OUTPride event are taking over the Sharon event ... They have been looking for a cheaper venue and should be announcing the new venue soon and begin selling the GA ...

Existing tix are still valid. If they do have to cancel it then the few folks who did buy the VIP tix will get a refund. Good thing is I found out about Montreal just a couple weeks after we released the VIP tix so we paused all the sales and never released any General Admission tix so we only have a small hand full of u guys to take care of if we need to. If you have purchased one of the VIP tickets and do have any questions or concerns feel free to contact me personally on here or my personal e-mail. Thanks you!”

 Well that got the Gay bees a buzzing in Deseret and people were posting such things as

 “I think it’s time to call for a prosecution. . . .”

“Need someone in Southern California to bring his ass back before he gets out of the country.”

“#TheGayFraudSpot”

“Have the U.S. Attorney file charges and they will put a hold on his passport so that if he tries to flee to CAN they will extradite him back at the border. . .”

Michael Aaron wrote “Not sure we have time for that, unfortunately. And I have no ins with the U.S. Attorney. I can, however, start a complaint with the Utah AG's office though.”

There were tons more like this…I am surprised someone didn’t post “Get a rope. Anybody got a rope? We need a necktie party.” 

Then Fernando through a friend posted because Michael Aaron had blocked him, “For those of you that have not already heard or that I have not spoken to personally TGHS is being dissolved and I am moving to Montreal! I am sad and excited at the same time but mainly looking forward to a fun new adventure.

This first started to come together just as we began to sell our VIP Tix to our Sharon Needles Show that was scheduled for October 5th. We immediately removed the tickets from the site and never offered up General Admission tickets once we knew changes were coming. Transferring the show to other promoters was the ideal situation but these shows are very expensive and a lot of work so it has turned out that keeping the scheduled isn't possible.

Luckily, we did stop selling any tickets as soon as I found out I was moving, so there are only a small handful of around 30 folks that we will be refunding. We have kept in close contact with anyone who purchased tickets and inquired about any update.

I have also given many of them my personal email and cell number to many of them so they could contact me anytime.

The folks that jumped on the opportunity to purchase these tickets were real diehards, close friends, and great supporters of TGHS so not resolving this with them was never an option and I have expressed that to any that have contacted us.

What we and I will not tolerate is someone sending ridiculous threats of exposing a nonexistent scandal or details of my personal life that are not only totally irrelevant but pretty silly (literally we're talking unpaid traffic tickets that anyone can look up with the state lol)

I won’t tolerate someone who is supposedly a leader in our community sending me messages like "I need the cash back, as it appears this is not going to happen. I'll repurchase if it looks like it truly will. If we can do it this way, we can keep it between us."

Or like today "I'm afraid this story is getting ugly. Businesses saying thousands are owed them. Five arrest warrants. At least one on NCIC, which will make any trip to Montreal not possible. Perhaps you should call me.

Then writing about Michael Aaron: “Sent to me this morning with only minutes to reply or rebut before I was blocked and unable to respond or even comment on the posts that are now being written about me on his Face book page. Sorry but he has been kept in the loop like everyone else and will have to receive a refund when everyone else does ... a loud megaphone doesn’t make you anymore important or deserving of a refund then the others that we have been working with.

I have nothing to hide and won't be bullied over immature drama. I have traffic tickets that are being taken care of by attorneys before I move and I have a business that like lots of businesses in our economy, has failed.

What I decided to do is dissolve this business through proper legal channels that include BK'ing the company instead of another business that after failing decided to turn itself into a nonprofit and get tens of thousands of dollars donated to it from the community with a sappy story about how important they are to the community.

I mean really ... without them how would the world learn of Fernando's unpaid traffic tickets!!! So there ... now that that is all out Michael, you can get in line like everyone else and have this resolved WITHOUT any special arrangements kept just between us girls Sorry to disappoint ... I know the thought of Fernando fleeing the country with loads of money and evading arrest warrants was a much more interesting story but we are stuck with boring reality.

And again ... anyone who needs information on their ticket purchase or anything else can contact me directly on here or my personal e-mail. Thanks again to everyone over the years that made TGHS so much fun! We'll catch you on the flip side

(Also feel free to copy and paste this to any posts about me on Michael Aaron’s wall since he blocked me I can’t defend myself there.”           

Fernando then sent this message to me as Bcc copy. I guess he wanted me to have a copy of his side of the story for posterity LOL.

“ Hello All, I have spoken to many of you on Face book but wanted to shoot this out to by email everyone one on our purchase list just to be sure. Unfortunately TGHS is being dissolved as a company and the show is being canceled. We tried to reschedule with new promoters but it just didn't work out..  This first started to come to fruition just as we began to sell our VIP Tix to our Sharon Needles Show that was scheduled for October 5th. We immediately removed the tickets from the site and never offered up General Admission tickets once we knew changes were coming. Transferring the show to other promoters was the ideal situation but these shows are very expensive and a lot of work so it has turned out that keeping the scheduled isn't possible. Luckily, we did stop selling any tickets shortly after we announced the show so there is only a small handful of around 30 of you that we will be refunding. The folks that jumped on the opportunity to purchase these tickets were real diehards, close friends, and great supporters of TGHS so it’s not an option for me to NOT resolve this for you guys. We have everyone's transactions and will be processing the refunds by at the latest months end but most should be clearing within the next 2 weeks. If you have any questions or concerns until then you can reach me by txt or just call. Sorry to disappoint and thanks for your patience and all your support over the last 3 years! -Fernando Noriega

I wrote him back: “Good luck on your new adventure... Thank you for all you did to help build our community. I hope you can resolve your financial woes...no fun I am sure... Don't worry about paying me back for the VIP... I know you were honest in your intentions... Things happen but learn from it so you can be successful in other life ventures... Stay true to building up our people and remember Pride is more than a party.” ... Your friend Ben

Well never a dull moment… I will write again if I hear anything more. Think of me once in a while as I think of you often. For better or worse your friend Always  Ben

 

8 September 2013 Sunday

Well there’s nothing like closing the barn after the horse in gone...I had rolled down my windows up in the truck that I left in the driveway. Who knew it would rain all night and this morning...”Intermittent chance of Thunder Storms” does not mean a steady hard rain...oh well it will dry out and my yard is loving it... but no mowing today darn it!

Then I went to see how the tarp is holding up over the hot tub and using a broom to displace the water who knew it would all pour down on my head and back brrrrr!

Oh well I've got griddle cakes and hot coffee. I bet it’s a wet one at the State Fair too...

So in the late afternoon when things dried out a bit I went and bought some more bungee cords and secure the tarp tauter so the water would not pool up so much.

             

9 September 2013 Monday

It's getting darker in the morning. The equinox must be coming... Hopefully the 90s are over for the year. I dropped the PT Cruiser off at Lodders to have the ignition lock changed, transmission fluid changed, and  the lug nut bolts replaced. That will cost a bundle.

Old Cal Worthington. the car commercial man from Southern California died. He was an iconic figure on television for sure especially during my youth. He certainly was the ultimate pitch man.

 

10 September 2013 Tuesday

I had a tough night ....I had been not taking any pain medicine for a while just living with the dull ache but last night I couldn't tough it out... I think pain will now become my constant companion as I grow old... I took my Aleve and ibuprofen but not any hard core prescription drugs...

 

11 September 2013 Wednesday

Had to go in early this morning for Faculty meeting and learned about the new teacher’s evaluation system we have to do on line. More crap. I would never go into teaching now if I was a young person. The PT Cruiser was done today so I walked over to Lodders to pick it up. I Paid $475 to get the old cruiser up and running... Now I have to figure a way out to get the truck back home.

Larry Silverstein must be the luckiest man... The New York Billionaire bought the World Trade Center in July 2001 first time in its 31 years history it changed hands...took out billions of dollars of insurance if the buildings were destroyed. Missed a breakfast meeting at the towers on Sept 11... And made over a billion dollars collecting insurance in 2007.

 

12 September 2013 Thursday

I Went out to dinner with Levon Mirakyan to East Sea because he wanted some Chinese food. He is not good company. He always has to be right and arguing. He hasn’t worked for a while so I wonder if he has pissed Andy McDaniels off too because of his being so disagreeable.

Anyway he was looking at the Humane Society’s site for some reason on line and I saw an old dog there who is 12 years old. It’s a sin to drop an old dog off at the pound and forced from their home.

 

13 September 2013 Friday the 13th

Well school is moving along and I think I am getting a handle on it some. Heard that that the state is tweaking the School grading system because it reflected badly on them. Levon Mirakyan said his computer crashed and I felt really bad for him because he lost his Chinese School pictures and a lot of his programs. A crashing computer is like the worse since we know longer keep hard copies of anything.

 

14 September 2013 Saturday

I Went off with Michael Romero at 11:30 this morning to go into Bountiful to retrieve my truck and bring her home. First we ate lunch at “Smoke N Bones” a BBQ ribs place just up the street from work. It’s a little pricey as all BBQ places are but really good.

On the way back to the house it rained buckets, really a down pour…just what we needed except for the areas that were burned by fire. There are flooding in those areas.

Well we also went down to the Humane Society to look at this 12 year old dog named Gracie that been there since July. I hate any old dog to be in a shelter and I thought if she was small enough maybe I could adopt her but alas she was pretty big and would never fit through the doggy door.

I felt really torn. I mean I do have Buddy and Daisy to consider too. I decided not to adopt but I still really haven’t made up my mine.

Levon Mirakyan is going crazy without his laptop. I don’t blame him I know the feeling. We went to the store and he bought over $100 worth of groceries way more than he will ever eat. Produce mainly that will spoil. He really does not know how to shop but he gets mad if you tell him anything so I just stopped trying to help.

He’s upset with Andy McDaniel because he hasn’t been called in for a while to work. I told him that I would help him get his computer fixed. I am such a sucker.

Today was Charles Frost’s SAGE Garden party. I was not interested at all. Sim Gill the County Attorney General was the keynote speaker.

 

15 September 2013 Sunday

I am Done mowing the front lawn. It’s amazing how a little rain can green things right back up. I helped Chuck Whyte deliver his groceries home from the store this morning, drooped some garden veggies off at a friend’s place while down town and now it’s time to relax and enjoy some Taco Soup I made yesterday. And I finished a Lambda Lore column this morning.

 

16 September 2013 Monday

It's a Monday ... I carelessly dropped a plate of English muffins on the floor which broke, but not before spilling half my coffee on the floor. Oh the plight of the working class.

        For some reason, this September is going faster than usual. I wonder if it’s because I know most of my kids and we are getting right down to business? Or is it because I am scrambling to create new lessons for 6th grade?

        Right after school, I took Levon Mirakyan down to the Apple store in Fashion Place Mall to take his computer in to get it fixed. When I turned off my ignition key it stuck again and wouldn’t come out. I sent him in by himself because he had an appointment at 6:15 and after about 5 minutes the key did came out but now I am stressed all over again about it.

        We were at the Apple store for about an hour and he had his computer sent out to get a new hard drive but he will probably lose all his data which is awful.

        Back home Levon had to go do a client at Andy McDaniels and I just watched some television because I was too tired to work on my Blog This Day In Gay Utah History which just sucks up most of my evenings.

        Instead of being at The Equality Utah Allies dinner tonight at $150 a pop to hear Robert Redford, I am eating burnt almond fudge ice cream and watching Robert Redford in “Barefoot in the Park” at home... I Love Mildred Natwick

 

17 September 2013 Tuesday

So far so good, no broken dishes, no spilt coffee... Ah mornings... But my key is still sticking in my ignition after paying hundreds of dollars to have it fixed... My car is unreliable if I go somewhere and then getting there can't get the key out of the ignition...

Another trip back to the mechanic and a walk to school from there. Ugh.

I just sent a ton of info from my Chronologies to Jeff Laver a U of U student interested in early Gay history in Utah... Yay nice there are young people who do care what came before them.

 

18 September 2013 Wednesday

I went to Deseret Industries after work and was lucky to find a Ken doll. You can always find lots of Barbies but a Ken is harder to find. Now I can have the boys do a mummy too. Funny how I was slightly embarrassed buying a naked Ken doll and Barbie doll LOL.

Only in Salt Lake …the Utah “Undies "underwear" run” had to be rescheduled and it is schedule for Mormon October General Conference... “Latter Day Saints” vs. “Little Clad Aints” ... LOL

This is a recipe for Chocolate Peanut Butter Bars

Ingredients: 1 cup salted butter (melted), 2 cups graham cracker crumbs, 1/4 cup brown sugar, 1 3/4 cup powdered sugar, 1 cup peanut butter, 1/2 tsp. vanilla, 1 (11 oz) bag milk chocolate chips

Instructions: 1. Combine all ingredients, except chocolate chips in a medium sized bowl. Stir until the mixture is smooth and creamy. 2. Pour peanut butter mixture into a 9 x 13 pan. 3. Melt chocolate chips in the microwave (at 50% power) for 1-2 minutes. Stir chocolate and pour over the peanut butter mixture. Spread chocolate with a spatula. To even out chocolate, tap pan on the counter. 4. Refrigerate bars for one hour. Cut while bars are still cool. Enjoy!

 

19 September 2013 Thursday

Today is my Grandpa Johnson’s birthday. What a good man he was and how I miss him and the smell of red Texas soil and tobacco dip on him.

Fortunately, the ignition hasn’t locked up this week on the PT Cruiser so maybe last Monday was a fluke.

I had the kids work on their Egyptian Tomb today after I found a ken doll and a Barbie doll yesterday.

I found out who won the half million dollars on Big Brother finally. It’s my summer’s guilty pleasure for sure. The Gay guy Andy Herren won.

Thirty two Years Ago today “Mommy Dearest” opened in theaters and into our dear little queer hearts! Bring me the axe!

Bill Poore wrote me: “-and it was just a few months later that she [Faye Dunaway] opened at the Helen Hayes theater in NYC in Curse of the Aching Heart and I was able to work with her daily and found out she was Mommy Dearest. She had just had her baby boy, who is now a grown man, cute little baby.”

 

 

 

20 September 2013 Friday

I had an “Engagement” meeting this morning where we were told essentially by the district that our kids should only have modest growth no real big growth that can’t be sustain from year to year because of the State’s new grading system. If we get a D again we will have to have outside people come in and monitor everything we are doing.

            So glad it’s nearing retirement for me.

The kids finished their Egyptian Tombs and mummifying their Barbie dolls. This is the kind of stuff we aren’t supposed to be doing with our kids any more. It sucks.

At home Levon Mirakyan fixed dinner. It wasn’t very good but I was hungry so I ate it and I suppose he is trying.

It’s Going to be a busy day tomorrow. So this is the end of Summer 2013. It was a very hot, hot summer.

 

21 September 2013 Saturday

Today it is officially Fall and it was a warm day in the 80’s. For a Mabon Celebration I decided to go to Provo’s very first Gay Pride Day Event. I had asked Michael Romero a few days ago if he wanted to go and he said sure so he came over about 9:30, dropped Coco off, and then we went to CJ for breakfast. I hadn’t eaten breakfast with him in a long time.

From there we went over to the County dog shelter to look at a female Jack Russell who had been at the pound since May and is about 5 years old. But once there we found out that she doesn’t get along with other dogs so I had to pass. Adopting the right fit for my two and for Coco won’t be easy but I am in no real hurry.

So after that we drove down to Provo and it was a beautiful day. I was a little worried that traffic might be heavy since it’s the BYU versus Utes Football game today and they are playing in Provo but we went earlier enough that it wasn’t even a consideration.

The Pride event was held in Memorial Park on about 8th East and Center Street. We were there about 11:30 and there weren’t a whole lot there yet maybe 150 people strolling around. The booths were all set up across each other on a little paved path that made it seem like there was more people then there actually was.

There were no signs that said “Gay Pride” nor any abundance of Gay Rainbow Flags but from the people there, you could tell it wasn’t your typical Mormon day in the park. No big corporate sponsors, mostly organizations and a couple of retail booths. No support from the bars either but I doubt whether they had been asked. Michael and I strolled the hundred feet or so which about all the distance of the booths were.

The “Post Mos,” “Mormon Building Bridges,” “Atheists of Utah,” “Affirmation,” “Human Rights Coalition,” “Equality Utah,” “Utah Pride Center,” and a few others were the main booths. It will be hard to estimate how many will attend because people are coming and going and it lasts until 8 p.m.

Michael Aaron texted me after I had already gotten home and said he was just heading down. I saw Megan Risbon and her blue green hair at the festival and Seth Anderson and Michael Ferguson. The Peter Pan boys were getting free massages and Seth had a free HIV test...I wanted to tell him you have to have sex first before you can get AIDS but I bit my tongue.

I asked them why they weren’t selling their tea and they said they wanted to but the organizers just never got back with them in time. I told them they should have just come down and set up a booth and no one would have been the wiser.

I figured there was about 400 people there while we were down and I bet they will say 1000 when it’s all said and done. If they say more than that then they are just bragging.

I told Michael Romero I want to come down next year and set up a Gay History Booth and sell Gay theme buttons...there were NO Gay paraphernalia at all... I think I could have made some money with fun buttons.

Later I told Charles Frost we should go into the Gay Festival button business and hit up Moab, St. George, and Provo.

It was getting warm so Michael and I sat under a pine tree for a while and listen to some of the performers. We mainly heard “Please Be Human,” Clark Radford’s Shout Poetry, and Joel Pack. I was entertained by Radford’s youthful angst poem and I enjoyed Joel Pack.

While under the tree, this kid named Diego began talking to us. He’s from Costa Rica but married to this Ogdenite guy named Dan Parkinson. He was also friends with Seth and Michael. Dan turned out to be friends with Marilyn Johnson in Ogden where Charles Frost is going tonight to speak like I did last July.

Anyway we left about 2:00 and it was nice and a very enthusiastic spirit…like Pride Days use to be in SLC. It was a “let’s show our Pride” instead of what are you going to do to entertain me.

I took a picture of my old apartment on 9th East and Center street where I lived with Mike Allred and next to Steve and Meg Madsen so many years ago. It was a little freaky for me being back in Provo with the park, being just around the corner from my old apartment on 900 East and Center Street.

The middle apartment facing the street was the last place I lived in Provo back in 1976. It was here on a snowy April day that my boyfriend Larry Copenhagen came to tell me he swallowed a bottle of aspirin to commit suicide because BYU security had entrapped him. He wanted to see me before he died but I was able to save his life when he began to pass out and I was able to take him to the hospital. It was a horrible, awful period of my life when BYU made me feel that it was all my fault for being Gay.

No one to talk to... so alone... so much judgment for a 25 year old to have to bear. So while today it was a glad full day for the young people, for me it was kind of melancholy dredging up some very sorrowful memories. You get scars that never truly heal.

We took HWY 89 most of the way back for the drive and was home by 3:00. Levon Mirakyan had gone out to meet Pearce Danner and friends for the AIDS walk. Levon has been acting kind of sweet around me. Maybe he realizes he has been kind of a jerk and not appreciating what I am doing for him.

Down in Provo there was an organization seeking to place Gay youth in homes like mine. I told them I already have one kid already. Well Levon went off to do a client and I am home catching up on my journal. It was an eventful first day of Autumn. It is warm and windy out right now but cooling off.

I posted on Face book-“As a BYU alumnus I am returning to Provo today... forty years after I first came to Provo, to attend its 1st Gay Pride Day event. Going back to the land where I was humiliated, despised, mentally tortured, and persecuted to let Utah County know they couldn't lick me or beat me down. Forty years. That is how long Moses had the Israelites wander in the desert to kill off the stiff necked generation before being allowed into the promise land.”

Bruce Barton responded by writing, “I HAVE CLIMBED THE MOUNTAIN AND HAVE SEEN THE PROMISED LAND!! FREE AT LAST-FREE AT LAST--THANK GOD ALMIGHTY I'M FREE AT LAST.”

Bill Poore wrote: “Well if you are going to compare yourself to Moses, you already have the beard. Bad time to travel though on the BYU/Utah Holy War Game day. Can’t think of anyone else better to go back to Ernest Wilkinson’s torture chambers than you. It was truly scary times for the young gay man. Give them Hell my friend.

Hey really happy you went to Provo Pride, real cool. We have come a long ways baby. When I think of you wandering that campus confused and scared all those years ago and what you have gone through to get to where you are today makes me almost cry. I don't cry much but do get a tear once in a while. Who did you go with? I wished you would have asked me I would have gone with you, yes I would have.”

I replied, “I went down with my ex,--Michael Romero... would have gladly gone with you if I had known... we didn't stay long about two hours which was more than enough.”

Daniel Humphrey who now lives in Texas but I knew as a film major at the U wrote: “I never thought I'd live to see the day. I remember in the early 90s going down to Provo with David Nelson as part of the Gay and Lesbian Utah Democrats to pass out flyers at the Dem's regional convention. It was truly like going into enemy territory.”

 

22 September 2013 Sunday

 

23 September 2013 Monday

The weather is really cooling off and feels like Autumn for sure. When I came home from work, Levon Mirakyan was gone so I fixed dinner of polish sausage and cabbage, fried potatoes, squash from the garden and baked beans.

When Levon came home from somewhere, he said he wasn’t hungry. I am tired of fixing food that he doesn’t eat. Any way he tells me that he told Andy McDaniels that he wasn’t going to work for him anymore. I wish I could just tell someone that I didn’t want to work anymore but I kind of understand. It was not the most pleasant kind of work but on Sunday he made $70 for basically 4 hours of work. Well I am not worrying about him anymore. He has no work ethic.

 

24 September 2013 Tuesday

I think I may be coming down with a cold. I’ve got the sniffles. The Kids were antsy at the end of the day so I made them run. When I took Coco home, I saw that the Circus train was in town. I know Michael will want to go see the train. He doesn’t care a fig about the circus but he likes the train.

Levon Mirakyan is in another one of his moods. I fixed some dinner and he didn’t want to eat what I had and he asked if he could use my computer to upgrade the iPhone I am letting him use. When I asked him how long it would take he got all huffy and I said he could have done that while I was at work and he snarls I didn’t think about that. Well too bad. I like to have my computer when I am home to work on things.

Now he is saying he is going to get his computer back from Apple and repair it himself. Good luck with that.

I got a text from a woman who is the mother of an inmate friend of Kyle Foot’s who said that he needed $30 by Friday or he’d lose his TV so I sent Kyle the money. Be nice if Kyle would just go ahead and write me but oh well.

Fernando Noriega sent me an email saying that he sent the $39 back to me that I had spent for the show that didn’t pan out for October.

 

25 September 2013 Wednesday

James Dabakis asked me if I had plans for October 5th a Saturday as he had a couple of for “Something’s Afoot” at the Pioneer Memorial Theater for the opening of its Fall Season. I said sure as I had no real plans. I wrote “I love being your theater date ... Steve's proxy or your 5th old maid wife lol.” 

 

26 September 2013 Thursday

Scientists say they discovered drinkable water on Mars buried in the sands. Wow!

After School Levon Mirakyan asked if I’d take him down to Fashion Place Mall so he could pick up his laptop so I did. We had a talk while driving down and said that I thought he should move out in October and be closer to downtown with winter coming on. Surprisingly, he agreed.

            I wrote Charles Frost- I asked Rocky O’Donovan if he was part of the Moab Pride committee to get him to brag if he was Grand Marshal. This is his only reply “I do help the committee here and there but not officially on it.” LOL Chuck is still in ICU, not doing well. Even if he gets out, he'll be in rehab facility 3-6 months. He's a mess. But there's been some slight improvement lately.

Kent's pretty stressed out and kind of depressed. Hopefully, Moab is a good, healing experience for him. Pray/do some good magick for them both, please!!”  Jim Dabakis asked me to go see a play this October 5 at the U... I Never heard of it but said I love being his theater date and a 5th wife lol.”

Charles Frost replied, “LOL. Is it Other Desert Cities? Great play. I'll have to bend your ear a bit before you go with him. There are things he needs to hear.”

I said, “The play is something's afoot” and he said, “Oh! Well then you'll like it. We DO need a briefing prior to your date with Jim. He's "deep throat" btw.” I responded, “Who doesn't deep throat in this community?”

             

27 September 2013 Friday

Long day at school. I am just treading water trying to stay ahead. I had the kids do a fun leaf print art project and I taught them the Patty Cake Polka and think I over did the bouncing because my leg is a little sore again.

Levon Mirakyan and I watched “Don’t Mess With Zohan” that was kind of entertaining.

 

28 September 2013 Saturday

 

It’s Moab Pride 2013 today. The whole town of Moab is only about 5 blocks. Such a wondrous community in southeastern Utah; some of the most beautiful red rock country along the Colorado River. I spent more time down there 20 years ago than I ever do now.

Well I am pooped... I took Chuck Whyte to CJs for breakfast this morning on 39^th South and 11^th East  and then took him to an All A Dollar Store so he could do some shopping. He wanted to do more shopping at Smith’s but I said no. I didn’t want to spend my entire Saturday running his errands.

So when I came home it was 11:30 and I went and had a haircut and beard trim because next week Jim Dabakis and I are going out to a play and I didn’t want to look scruffy.

Then back at the house I made come homemade macaroni and cheese, mowed the front yard, trimmed some tree branches, and trimmed down some shrubs, pulled 16 paving stones out of the front yard, and moved them into the back but am too tired to carry the stepping stones over the steps of the hot tub deck to the north side of my yard. Maybe tomorrow...that is if I can stand LOL.

Oh well. Dad and mom moved to Cottonwood Arizona about 20 years ago and put in an entire yard when Dad was about 67 years old. I am 5 years younger than that so I have no excuse to keep up my yard. After doing yard work I made two loaves of zucchini bread one for Bill Poore and 1 for me.

Bill is always kvetching that I never make him zucchini bread. Finally before going to bed I watched with Levon Mirakyan “Hangover III.” It was just okay. The first one was the best. I over baked the Macaroni and Cheese because I forgot about it while working in the yard.

Happy birthday Billy Bikowski where ever you may be... You will always be my "oh no!" Boy. Hope you are creating something beautiful. He’s 52 years old now. I fell in love with him when he was 24 years old and I was 35.

Ever have a dream in which you were so happy in it that when you woke up you burst into tears because the dream was over? I dreamed that John Cunningham and I found each other again and that he wanted us to be together and I just was holding on to him. It seemed so real.

John was the love I never could talk about to anyone when we were 18. It was 1969. Neither one of us wanted to be known as queer... we were not brave enough to be despised by society.

I haven't seen him since 1972 when he joined the army and I ran away to Utah heartbroken. He committed suicide in 2007 and I spent most of my entire life fighting for young people to be able to be with who they love because I hadn't and did not want anyone to know the depth of that kind of pain.

Strange I didn't know that John could still break my heart as an old man until he came to me in a dream. Sorry for the rant...I will just hug my dogs now they always know how to comfort me.

My cousin Kay Johnson Campbell responded saying, “Love you.” And I replied, “I love you too Kay. Funny it was a night of weird dreams. I also dreamt I was at your old place at Hart Camp and uncle JW was lounging in his lazy boy and kept asking me my opinion while calling me "June-your" and when I gave it, Aunt Pauline in her quiet way would laugh and say "why....Junior' and then bring out a plate of peanut brittle" I love to sleep it’s when I get to visit loved ones again.”

 

My cousin Terrie Williams said, “Missing out on someone you love or have deep feelings for always twists the heard. I almost married someone who we both were attracted to. We both found each other and felt we were deeply connected however somewhere a fear drove the relationship adrift...some years later he found me again & said he should of married me.....time was too short .. He had liver cancer and died a little over a year later....thank you for sharing ..sorry for your loss,”

I responded to Terrie saying, “We all have losses great and small but we come from strong people who settled the West Texas plains ... For that I am grateful.”

My sister Charline Wachs wrote I am glad you are there to put up a good fight that others can have the life and love that you could not have when you were a young man. I am also glad to know that you have made many friends that care about you. I think you are one of The bravest people I know and respect, love you brother.”

I wrote back, “I was kind of maudlin... But now onward and upward. I love you too Charline though we traveled different paths most of our lives... You will always be my big sister.”

Others who commented were Tony Jones of Arkansas who wrote: “Those ghosts will do that. Big bear hugs!!,’ Ron Holmgren said, “Hugs. How sad that we had to live through those times. If we can help only one young person, then we will not have endured those times in vain.” Marilyn Johnson-Faulkner from Ogden responded “Ben, you are one beautiful man! I love ya.” And Patricia Ann Jarvis  wife of Boyer said Thanks for sharing this with us: sad, but also beautiful.”

Regarding my yard work and macaroni and cheese, My face book pen pal Ron Holmgren wrote: Seems to me you do a pretty good job of taking care of your yard...some of what you are doing is some heavy lifting and would tax a younger man. I recently bought a Mormon cook book (cooking for two) that has some great recipe including Mac and Cheese. I grew up in a Mormon household, and my mother was a good cook, and so I was delighted that some of the recipes she used are in the book. She made a lot of comfort food. As for boycotting pasta, when some idiot CEO makes a stupid statement, I haven't had to because I have never used their product or go to their establishment. Gaydar working?”

Bill Poore wrote: “Those Mormon cookbooks are the best, I remember the Relief Society put one together when I was a little boy in Carbon County, the best cooks ever. I wished I had it.”

I said, “I put my Mac and cheese in the oven to bake and went to mow the lawn forgot it in the oven about an hour later the edges were brown and crunchy lol but still good. I have a Taylorsville Relief Society cookbook that Kyle Foote left here... It has all these good Mormon White Trash recipes.”

Bill Poore responded, “The desserts are the best. Is there one for Dead Mormon People Potatoes ?”

 

29 September 2013 Sunday

I got up early this morning with a “Charlie Horse” in my right leg. Ouch. Then I went grocery shopping early and get that out of the way because I had made plans to meet Bill Poore to go up in the canyons to see some of the fall colors.

 

I made some Spanish rice and Chili Verde although I was pretty sure Levon Mirakyan wouldn’t eat any.

Well I met Bill at the Smith’s parking lot and I gave him the Zucchini bread I had made for him yesterday and we took the PT Cruiser. We first went up Immigration Canyon then up to East Canyon. Lots of people were out riding their bikes it was such a nice day if crisp. Not a whole lot of color so we stopped and got some drinks then headed up Big Cottonwood Canyon to Brighton.

There were more color there but not what I would have expected for this time of year. There were still splotches of snow on the ground from the storm we had this week.

We got out and took some pictures of the mountain behind Silver Lake and then came down the mountain. We were gone about 3 hours and it was good to get out of the city and into nature even in a car.

I didn’t do much later, after I got home, except take Levon to the store and work on my blog. That has become rather time consuming taking anywhere between two to three hours.

I guess everyone is returning now from the Moab Pride Festival this weekend.

 

30 September 2013 Monday

Back to school Monday blues