Summer 3rd Quarter Journal 2019 July-September

 

JULY

1 July 2019 Monday

Kyle Foote wanted me to pick him up at Fortitude today at 7:45 this morning so we could run errands.  We first went to the Redwood Clinic to get his blood drawn for his labs.  He had a Dentist appointment in Sugar House at 9:30 and since we had the time we stopped at Great Clips for him to get a haircut.  His Dental cleaning lasted about an hour and he hadn’t had a check up and cleaning in 8 years and remarkable he had no cavities just a lot of tartar and plaque buildup. He said unless you have a life sentence, the prison won’t do a cleaning on your teeth. It was about $150 for the cleaning without insurance. I waited for him in their waiting room, which reminded me of the Celestial Room in the Temple with these white veils hanging down from the ceiling. I thought at anytime I'd hear someone knock three times and ask what was wanted and I'd have to give passwords and secret handshakes to get out of there. The service I understand is wonderful but I am a bit old fashion. I want a dentist office to look like a dentist office.

After that he wanted to see some of the changes that is  going on in Sugar House and then I took him to the Pride Center because I had receipts for Roy Zhang that I need to give to Bek the Bookkeeper but she was still back in New York City. I guess a whole bunch of Pride Center folks went back for the celebration of 50 years since Stonewall. So instead I gave them to Robert Moolman and introduced Kyle to him. I guess Robert is going to Australia for a month to work on his dissertation. He and Kyle briefly talked about an outreach program for the Gay population in Prison.  

After that it was about time for Kyle to return to Fortitude and I came home and saw that Mike Romero had taken out his trailer to go camping at Smith Morehouse camp ground. He has the whole week off.

I came home and typed more on my memoirs of 1973 and looked up some information on Marta Gillings and Piper Ballou from my BYU days. Marta lives now in Florida and has been married twice and Piper is an elementary school teacher in Arizona and after divorcing Richard Holmes, because he wanted to be a polygamist, she remarried.

I watched Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers in “Shall We Dance” on the Criterion Channel. It was one the least grossing of all their pictures together but I enjoyed it especially with all the dog scenes and of course the two old Nellies Eric Blore and Edward Everett Horton who are always in these pictures to make Fred Astaire seem butch.

 

2 July 2019 Tuesday

Another busy day with Kyle Foote, only this time I picked him up at 12:30 in the afternoon because he had an appointment with a vocational rehabilitation counselor to start the process of getting benefits when he gets out. Before that we went to job service over on 7^th South and 2^nd east so Kyle could also apply for food stamps because of his low income.  Job Service was interesting as I was people watching while waiting for Kyle. I felt like I was in an international consulate with every manner of speech and dress going on. There were lots of Muslims especially women wearing habibs, African immigrants in colorful clothing, some Asians, a few poor income whites, but I saw very few Latinos. I imagine they are too frightened to seek any help these days.  It was all very interesting. It truly was 2020 and not at all the white demographics of 1980 when I used Job Service to try and find work.

            After job service, I took Kyle to his appointment at 2 with Voc Rehab but because it was just across from the Dog Park I decided to go home instead of waiting for him. I stopped at Subway and bought a foot long cold cut sandwich that will take me two days to eat but my blood sugars were dropping so I had to eat something. It was warm again today in the mid 90’s so didn’t want something hot to eat. 

The Orientation didn’t take Kyle all that long so I picked him up a little before 3 in the afternoon and we decided to  go to the Firehouse Hamburger joint in Glendale and get a soft serve chocolate ice cream cone before he had to check back in.

            I took a nap and fixed the pups dinner but not a whole lot else. I need to mow my lawn again now that it’s summer maybe it will slow down. My garden is taking off and I am getting zucchini and summer squash already. I gave Kyle some to take with him so he can have some fresh vegetables for his meals. What he cooks is mostly institutional cooking.

            It sure has been mixed emotions going down memory lane writing up my journal and what I remember from 1973 my first year at BYU. It truly was a transitional year from being a Southern California boy to being a Mormon Boy.

 

3 July 2019 Wednesday

I picked up Kyle Foote 7:45 to take him back to the house. He had a conference call with his advisor in Indiana State and he wanted to do it while at my computer rather than down at the Glendale library. Rich Butler came over to get some zucchini and squash from my garden but didn’t stay long because Kyle need to go to the Glendale Library before having to check back in at Fortitude.

            I went to the Gay Men’s sack lunch and it was just a small crowd about 5 of us but it still was good to be out and visit with the guys.

            I spent the rest of the day and evening finalizing my 1973 Journal and Memoir of that year. I saw that Rocky O’Donovan sent a message from the Queer Historical Society asking if I wanted to be removed from the Board Member’s Message Group. It really pissed me off because what does it matter. It’s not like they are doing top secret things there. Just another way of him wanting to erase me.

 

4 July 2019 Thursday

I went and picked up Kyle Foote this morning to spend the day at the house. He took Lulubelle for a walk that made her happy. When I looked at Facebook I saw that I had pissed off Bill Poore and he didn’t want to come over to go out to lunch. Either he will get over it or he won’t because he’s such a drama Queen and the Poores have to be mad at someone or something.

            I worked in the front yard this morning trimming back bushes and Russian Sage that have overgrown onto the Sidewalk so things were spruced up. It was nice out too only about 75 degrees. Kyle wanted a project so he cut and glued back on the backing of the stair steps that had dried out over the years and fallen off.

            We went to lunch and wanted to go Chubby’s but they were closed so we ended up going to Red Iguana because it was opened. I know everyone raves about Red Iguana but I like Chubby's so much more.  We split a combination plate because I knew I wouldn’t be able to eat as much as they served and Kyle doesn’t eat much himself. Besides he said he had a sore throat like he’s coming down with something.

            Back at the house I took a nap outside with TJ in my lap while Kyle wanted to clean out the truck really good. He wanted to go see a movie and we decided on Aladdin at the Century 21. It was the right time to be over to get him back to Fortitude by 6. The weather had turned in the afternoon with dark clouds. It rained a little on us on the way down. 

We couldn’t get seats together unless we sat on the front row with the screen almost in our face so we sat in separate rows. I didn’t care because I know Kyle really needed to see a light hearted movie and this was the first movie, at a theater, he has seen in 8 years.

            Aladdin was really entertaining and I thought Will Smith was excellent as the Genie and really made me forget about Robin Williams’ iconic role. Mena Massoud who is Egyptian played Aladdin and was cute as could be.

            When the show was over I rushed Kyle back to Fortitude and came home to feed the dogs when a storm blew in dumping a lot of rain. I hope it keeps the neighbors from shooting off fireworks and scaring the pups. But no such luck. It was such a war zone most of the night.

            Kyle and I had a good 4^th of July and I hope Bill Poore gets over being mad at me.

 

5 July 2019 Friday

I hope everyone's dogs survived the cacophonic blitz last night without too much trauma. The storm didn't dampen people's mania for loud explosions. We huddled in the movie room with the sound up watching My Little Chickadee during the worse of it. I wonder if people would think the bombs and whistling would be so much fun if they had ever been shelled for real.

I just got home from going to lunch with Mike Romero at Chubby's. He said the part for the Sonoma truck is in that Kyle food needs to fix the 3^rd door. He will pick it up on Monday when he goes back to work. He came over to clean up the trailer from his weekend up[ at Smith Morehouse. He said there was still snow up there but he had a good time getting away.

While at Chubby’s I told Mike at lunch that Kyle has been coming to the house and that he’s out of Prison and is cooking at the Fortitude halfway house that it’s down  on 17^th South and 9^th West and that he’s been helping me around the place.

I was surprised when he said he thought it was a good thing that Kyle was being here. He's 63 now himself and he said the other day he had a panic attack caused by anxiety realizing that like me he is an orphan in this old world.  I guess we are all finally coming to grips with the fact that we are the next generation to pass away and become irrelevant.

Nothing but Class in the White House. The Trumps’ Concubine Melania wore a white dress with no bra to the Trumpalooza yesterday and when it rained it was like she was at a wet tee shirt contest with her tits showing. I am no prude but come on this whore is suppose to represent Americans to the world.

In the 4th of July speech at the Trumpalooza, Trump actually remarked: “The Continental Army suffered a bitter winter of Valley Forge, found glory across the waters of the Delaware, and seized victory from Cornwallis of Yorktown. Our army manned the air, it rammed the ramparts, it took over the airports, it did everything it had to do. And at Fort McHenry, under the rockets’ red glare, it had nothing but victory. And when dawn came, their Star Spangled Banner waved defiant.”

Not only is it scary to have a person the White House so ignorant, it's even scarier that this speech was vetted by people who work in the White House... I bet Trump could never pass the Citizenship Test immigrants are required to take. His asshole supporters want football players to stand for the National Anthem when their President doesn’t even know the difference between the Rev War and the War of 1812... yeah Nike pulling the Betsy Ross flag shoes is all that matters

And evidently Trumps command of the English Language doesn’t include the prepositions "of" and "at".

 

6 July 2019 Saturday

I read from my 1974 Journal for much of the morning and boy was it depressing. I was so enmeshed into the Mormon BYU Cult. It was really painful for me to read what I went through in the Winter of 1974. I had forgotten that I didn’t attend the Winter Term because I was put on academic probation. It was 45 years ago and there is so much I had forgotten until I started reading it again. I look back at it now and what I experienced at the hands of people I trusted was almost psychological abuse.  I must have been a stronger person than I realized at the time to walk through all that trauma of trying to hide who I was at BYU. I was only 23 years old.

Kyle asked if I’d pick him up at 2:30 downtown at the Coffee Break on 4th south. I said sure but before going down I took the Cruiser to the self car wash to get some of the dirt and grime off.  After picking him up from meeting with a guy he met for coffee I took him over to the Glendale Library.

It’s a pretty day and warm but not hot, about 85 degrees. The dogs are all sleeping and tired out from the stupid people setting off explosions last night. People used to set off fireworks but now it’s all about the explosions and the louder the more they get their rocks off.

 

7 July 2019 Sunday

            I was up at 3 this morning and could not go back to sleep. So I just got up and typed from my Journal that I have been posting to Daniel Cureton.

It’s the first week of July and already squash coming up gang busters... I have no idea what the big yellow ones are.. I think it's a hybrid as it came up voluntarily on its own from seeds last year. It's pretty tasty and good for sautéing or grilling especially in garlic butter then hey what isn't. I have summer squash and zucchini I did plant and later some winter squash... I don’t label what I plant... I like surprises... all organic won’t use insecticides around the dogs, bees, and butterflies

When Mike brought the trailer back from going to Coleville to camp for the night, I asked him if he wanted to go to Culvers in Bountiful. I wanted to try their Cod Fish Sandwich. Mike ordered their Patty Melt and we split an order of Onion Rings. The Cod Fish Sandwich was fresh and all, but kind of bland, I think from the tartar sauce.

Because I have six pups someone referred to me as “Many-pawsual” LOL.  I didn’t do much else today but slug through typing up my 1974 Journal from February that year. What a mess I was. Kevin Scott wrote me “My wife and I were apart for a semester at BYU and wrote each other every day (we then spent the next semester together). Years later we joked that one day we'd get drunk and read the letters together. That never happened, she passed away. So one day I opened them and started reading them. They were NAUSEATING. For exactly the similar reasons... it was all testimony on steroids omg can you talk about anything else except how true the church is? I couldn't make it through them and destroyed them as quickly as I could.”

            I responded “Testimony on steroids is right on. I had no family to keep me sane and so I was totally indoctrinated as I was also so isolated and wanted to belong to something that would fix me not knowing I wasn't broken. It didn't help any that I was so enamored with my roommate who I had to disguise my affection for him as "brotherly love." Unless you lived through these times you would not believe how internally and externally we were repressed by BYU's brand of Mormonism which was, like you said, was on Steroids. Then it absolutely did not help that super homophobic Spencer W Kimball became Prophet when I was there and Dallin Oaks took his marching orders from the Brethren to eradicate those of us who were differently made than heterosexuals.

Richard Harmston commented “This entry demonstrates the value of keeping a journal. Here, the writer revisits a former self and comprehends a past event with new understanding/insight. Powerful!”

 

8 July 2019 Monday

I think I am getting old age insomnia...I wake up at 2... try to sleep, get up at 3 have a bowl of cereal, read FB news, try to go back to sleep... sleep schedule is way off being retired. Only reason I am up in the morning is because Harleigh is a bossy schnauzer and demands a 6 o'clock treat.

            I was up at 3 in the morning and tried to go back to sleep at 5 and slept until 7. But I was really tired for most of the day and didn’t do much but type until 3:30 I went and picked Kyle up at the Glendale Library. His time off has shifted from in the mornings to the afternoons because that one cook was sent back to prison.

            I took him shopping at Smith’s on 9^th West so he could buy some Dr. Pepper and stuff and I did a little shopping too. He hadn’t eaten since he had a smoothie in the morning so we went to the McDonalds on North Temple and 10 the West and we ordered two Happy Meals. They are really just about the right size for the amount that we eat. He said that the Veteran Benefits for going back to school runs out a year from this August so he’s going to have to take as many classes as he can this fall through home study. He had to be back at 4:30 and I went home to pick up Coco and the canine crew to take her home. Mike Romero had the part for the third door for the truck so Kyle can fix it this Thursday maybe.

            After fixing the pups chicken for dinner, I laid down and fell asleep until 9 at night. I forced myself to stay up until midnight before going back to bed.

 

9 July 2019 Tuesday

Kyle’s food stamp card came today so I brought it down to the Glendale Library for him. I went to Dollar Tree and bought a bunch of cleaning supplies to do some house cleaning especially the bedroom.  Buddy had some accidents in there. I thought I better clean it before Thursday when the duct cleaning guys come. I may be getting careless about keeping the house clean as much as I used to but I don’t want to be trashy. I actually slept in my bed instead of the couch for a change.

49 years ago on this date I told John Cunningham that I loved him, which set off a series of life events. For many years this date and the 10^th of July were very meaning for me. Grandma Johnson actually died on the 10^th. I like to think I was conceived on the 10^th of July as I was born on April 10^th.

 

10 July 2019 Wednesday

It’s going to be a hot one today near 95 degrees or more so I did my mowing and yard work early. Time to dead head and trim flowers back. The heat will be good for the vegetable garden and will help ripen the green tomatoes.

I had to replace the power cord to my Samsung Tablet and of course the one I need has a different port. I went to Best Buy and they didn't have it. So I went on Amazon and had to order it through them. No wonder brick and mortar stores are failing. Only bad thing I can’t get it for several days so I can't use the Tablet that I have become so accustomed to using while lying down. Now I have to sit at my desk top. 1st World Problem ha!

I went to the Gay men’s sack lunch and brought squash from my garden. TJ and Jim were there but again it was a small group with just Paul Milne, Dwright Wood, Doug, TJ, Jim, Richard Harmston and me.

            Afterwards I went to the Glendale Library to see Kyle Foote but he wasn’t there so stop and got gas at $2.78 a gallon at Maverick on Redwood.  Then because the guys are coming tomorrow to clean out my air ducts I cleaned the house really well, sweeping, mopping, and vacuuming. I think Daniel Cureton is going to come and take my Captain Bed because I want to down size and just use the twin size bed that was Mike’s grandma Nora’s bed. It was brand new and she never used it.

            So I am kind of pooped. Kyle wrote and said that he went to see a Social Worker this morning so that is why he wasn’t at the library in the afternoon. He also said that his sister Jamie Fultz finally contacted him.

I am getting vote for Dabakis phone calls. Someone should put me on a do not disturb list. I am voting for Jim, all right already.

Sister Missionaries kept knocking on my door until I answered. At least once a month I get t either Elders or Sister Missionaries knocking . I think it’s ironic when I was a member they did everything they could to kick me out of the church but now that I am out they want me back in. They must be schizophrenic. Is there a do not call list for Mormons? I would think my Rainbow flag on the front of my house would indicate that I am not interested in what they are peddling.

 

11 July 2019 Thursday

            Today is the first time this year that we reached 100 degrees. I was up early to clean off the veranda or as I call it now the Poop Deck. Then I went to Fortitude to pick Kyle Foote up and bring him back to the house for his home visit day. He worked on the computer most of the morning trying to get things squared away at Indiana State.  Right at nine the Duct cleaning guy came and since Kyle was in the house I just went out into the back yard to be with the pups and do some yard work.

            The guy finished in about an hour and a half and while he said the ducts were pretty bad he had seen worse and there wasn’t anything dead in there. The ducts had never been cleaned and I’ve lived here almost 23 years now.

            Then Kyle said we should go to the dump so we piled the truck with things that need to go including the outdoor swing. Kyle drove the Sonoma and it was the first time he’s driven in almost 7 and ½ years. I laughed and said, “it’s the first time you have driven and it’s to the dump of all places”. It was only $15 to take that load to the dump and it felt good to get rid of stuff. The next thing to go will be the red couch.

            We went to Chubby’s for lunch and split a 3 cheese enchilada plate and ordered a side of rice and beans. It was more than enough. Afterwards Kyle wanted to look at lap tops at PC laptops but they were way expensive. I mean way. Expensive. Over three grand!

            I had Kyle stop at Lucky's on the way home because I hadn’t thawed out anything supper for the pups so I stopped to buy a roasted chicken. Kyle bought his chocolate ice cream and Black Forest Gummy Bears that he loves so much and had had in the whole time he was in prison.

            We stop in at 7-11 to check out how to transfer money through this Green Dot process I never heard of. I am so not a contemporary person if I ever was. Big mistake because it was the date 7-11, the store was mobbed with kids and folks getting free slurpees.

            I had to take Kyle back at 6 to check in but it was a really productive day and tomorrow I am picking him up again to take him to an appointment at the University Hospital I think about seeing about getting on PrEP. 

            The deadline to write a story for the Q is today but I am so tired I guess I will skip this one.

 

12 July 2019 Friday

Yesterday a campaigner for a mayor candidate came to the door and asked for support for his candidate's for SLC Mayor. Kyle Foote said we were supporting Jim Dabakis. About a half an hour later the same guy came to the door and must have forgotten he had solicited here before. When Kyle answered the door again he said “We're still voting for Dabakis LOL The guy was chagrined. I need a Dabakis sign in my yard to warn canvassers not to bother knocking unless they want some zucchini. All my Chihuahuas are Dabakis supporters.

It was such a beautiful sunrise this morning. A quarter to 6 I took the dogs outside to romp and do their business and I sat on the lawn chair watching the sky turn a rosy pink in my Secret Garden. Even Buster was playful this morning like a puppy. He has a special place in the family because he came to me so abused and scared and now he's a happy go lucky fellow. . It was so nice and pleasant to sit by garden under the shade of a globe willow watching the pups play with each other. Then at six the National Guard plays reveille. So weird in my old age to hear reveille like I am near a fort. I am truly blessed and content. I have enough and that makes me rich.

I picked Kyle Foote up at 7:45 this morning to take him to the U of U health clinic so he could sign up for PrEP which I guess is just Truvada the medicine that is suppose to help Gay men not get AIDS. What a blessing it is for this generation of Gay men. Times have changed since 1989 when so many of us were dying or getting infected with HIV

After having his blood drawn and tested we went out for breakfast at Village Inn. Kyle had a hankering for pancakes. Since I hadn’t had breakfast myself we both ordered the 2-2-2 special of  2 eggs, 2 pancakes, and 2 bacon or sausages. That was more than enough to fill me up.

From there I went to American First and pulled out $400 to have Kyle put it on a Green Dot card. I have no idea what that is but I guess it’s the 21^st Century version of Western Union so he could pay for some of his tuition.  We then went to the Glendale Library for him to check out some movies before heading back to Fortitude by noon.

In the afternoon Rich Butler came over to pick up some Zucchini that I had picked from the garden that had gotten away from me. I just looked on Wednesday and there wasn’t any and then yesterday I saw 4 big ones. I gave one to Kyle yesterday and three to Rich. Later when I went out to water the garden there were two more big ones! Ha!

It was supper hot today 102 degrees but I wasn’t out in it and the house is nice and cool.

Finally recharged my tablet so I am happy again. Alan Anderson wants me to babysit Corky and Bhanie next Wednesday for a week while he and Kyle Daniels go on vacation to the Caribbean. I said I would.

 

13 July 2019 Saturday

When it’s 80 degrees at 5:30 in the morning you knows it's going to be a warm one. I took the dogs out this morning and it was dark and overcast and muggy. In fact it was Virga; rain that evaporated before it hits the ground.

On Wednesday I gave a bunch of squash away, yesterday Richard P. Butler came and got 3 big zucchinis and this morning found another huge sucker. I swear it wasn’t there yesterday. I guess it's a good thing I bought chocolate chips so I can make zucchini bread... it’s that time of year.

Mike said one of his bucket list things to do is to attend the National Model Train Show and it finally came to Utah so we went this morning to the Exhibition Center in Sandy. Mike Romero is a total model train geek with sets of N model trains and Union Pacific paraphernalia. I went just so he wouldn't have to go alone.  Before heading down we first stopped at Costco and bought some more Dog Biscuits that the pups love so well and to make sure that our cards are still valid.

The Exhibition Center parking lot was packed because of the Train Show and a Gun Show that was also being held there. It was a good thing I brought some cash because the ticket vendor only took cash not plastic so I ended up paying for Mike as well as myself.  I enjoyed it, especially all the landscaping modeling for the train modules and seeing the little kids being so excited and having fun too but after 2 hours I was fatigued and I think so was Mike.

We left at 12:30 in the afternoon and drove out to Culver’s in West Jordan for some lunch. We both ordered Reuben Sandwiches and they were really good but couldn’t eat but half and then took the rest home for later.

I messengered Bill Poore and asked if he was still mad at me and if not to come over for Sunday Dinner tomorrow. He said he would.

I watched Mary Poppins Returns on Netflix tonight. It was pretty good I must say.

Rep. William Dannemeyer of Orange County the homophobic bastard is dead.., the world is now a better place..

A tee shirt on FB said, “Someday I will be a retired teacher with a house full of dogs.” Someday is now! Only I garden instead of knitting though I do have a rocking chair.

 

14 July 2019 Sunday

I Got some baking done this morning. I make zucchini bread for the summer, pumpkin bread in the fall and banana bread in the winter. Who said man cannot live on bread alone? I made my zucchini bread the Utah way with plenty of chocolate chips. I fear I will have a freezer full by the time my harvest is over

I put a roast in the crock pot early this morning and texted Mike Romero if he wanted to join us for a nice pot roast Sunday dinner with Bill Poore and myself. I breaded and then fried up some zucchini I had left over from making the bread this morning and had that with mashed potatoes, brown gravy, and green beans cooked with bacon. A simple meal but tasty. I sent home the leftovers and loaves of zucchini bread with them. Then it was time now for a snooze with my critters.

I’ve been watching Tales of the City, the 1993 version, and a lot of Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers movies on the Criterion Channel before heading to bed.

Trump has terrorized the undocumented immigrants by sending out ICE,  America's own Gestapo, to arrest them and deport them.

·         Bill Poore wrote: Great dinner and company, always enjoy the loving friendship and the pups of course. I won’t have to go shopping for at least another day.

 

15 July 2019 Monday

I was up again at 2 in the morning and stayed up until 4 typing up my 1974 Journal. My right lower jaw tooth was achy so rather than feel miserable trying to get some sleep  I just got up. Then I went back to bed and slept in until 7 so it wasn’t a very productive day for me except typing.

Kyle Foote wanted me to meet him at the Glendale Library so he could go shopping today. We went to Wal-Mart and then Target. At Wal-Mart we stopped to get two Happy Meals. Remind me never to eat at a McDonald’s in Wal-Mart again. Have you ever notice that while all Wal-Marts are nasty some are nastier than others? The one in Centerville is about the only one I don’t feel grimy when I am there. The one on 13th South makes me want spray myself down with Lysol...

We also went to the Redwood Clinic to pick up his PrEP pills that came into today. He said without insurance a 28 day supply would have been $1500 but because he was on Medicaid through the state his co pay was zero.

I watched a Wanda Syke’s comedy routine This Ain’t Normal on Netflix which was pretty funny especially her routine how you can tell no one respects Trump as they let him climb the steps to Air Force One with toilet paper hanging from his shoe.

Alan Turing’s picture is going to featured on the British 50 pound note. When I wrote a history column for the Triangle Magazine back in the 1980s I wrote about Alan Turing when most Gay people would have said who? What a great mind and a tragic ending all because of homophobia

I always had a philosophical and ideological difference with Republicans as my family were FDR Democrats and Unionists. Hell my great grandparents were socialists because they believed in farmer co-ops and the Grange... Republicans always seemed to me to put financial issues before social issues so while I didn't hate Republicans I thought they'd never have my best interests at heart. However under Nixon, Reagan, Bush, and now Trump I see how a party that only cares about money, power, and gain has corrupted the so called American values of Eisenhower's Republican Party. The Republican Party is dead. It’s Trumps Neo Fascist Christian Conservative Party who will come after you and me as enemies. They want to turn America into a feudal kingdom controlled by the Church and Kleptocrats.

What happened to the Republican Party that once stood for decency and social justice? The Plank of the original Republican Party was to abolish the "Twin Relics of Barbarism: Slavery and Polygamy" now the Republicans are dominated by un Reconstructed Southerners and Mormons... oh right they sold out to unbridled capitalism and fascism

The Republicans aren't powerless they maintain power because they sold out their integrity for the almighty dollar

·         yes but at least Democrats believe in a Social safety net while Republicans are Social Darwin proponents and mostly sociopaths with little or no empathy for others.

·         Doug Murri I agree with Ben as well. The Republicans are not powerless. They've chosen to enable this sociopath in the White House. And Bill, you're correct that Wall St. and the 1% control the country. But that has ALWAYS been the case. At least Dems still feel the need to take care of the entire population. The GOP once understood that need as well. But greed has taken over and they only care about themselves now.

 

16 July 2019 Tuesday

I went and picked up Kyle Foote from Fortitude at 10:45 to take him home do he could take the Truck to his Vocational Rehabilitation conference appointment that was at 11:30. I had a dentist appointment for a cleaning in Centerville at 1 in the afternoon so if he was finished before I was he could just come back to the house. But as it was he wasn’t done until nearly 3 and I was home myself by 2.

            My cleaning went well without any real problems except I said that my lower right side molar was hurting. It wasn’t any gum disease so some x-rays were taken and there was a cavity on the side of the tooth.  My regular dentist wasn’t in but another dentist a young male examined me and said that I will probably need at least a partial crown. I told him that I didn’t want another root canal and if a crown didn’t fix the problem I just wanted it pulled. He understood my emotional and financial situation.  So I made an appointment for next Tuesday at noon.  It will cost about $600 for the crown if my tooth can be saved and it’s like the last of my grinders so I hope it can be but oh well.

            Kyle was exhausted from all the bureaucratic red tape he’s jumping through but it’s what you do to get help from the state.  Since he didn’t have to be back until 4:30 and hadn’t had any lunch we stopped at McDonald’s and ordered 2 happy meals.

            I just typed my 1974 journal for much of the rest of the evening, watched another episode of the 1993 Tales of the City and another episode of The Handmaid Tale before going to bed.

Mormon policy makers take every opportunity to criticize and deride homosexuality but not a peep is heard from the top about the White House's occupant's blatant racism. I guess racism isn't a moral issue within the Mormon church nor to its Republican sycophants and evidently to 67 percent of Utahns. Ah to be White and Delightsome... "Book of Mormon Stories that my mother read to me all about the Lamanites of Ancient History".,, how screwed up is a religion that believes that God had to send a revelation for them to stop being racists?

A religion so steeped in heterosexual mythology to excuse the adultery of its founder can never embrace diversity that is found in the natural universe...

 

17 July 2019 Wednesday

I had another miserable night. I had several mosquito bites on my hand that itched so much I couldn’t sleep plus my bad tooth started to ache keeping me up. I finally just got up at 2 in the morning and typed up my 1974 Journal until about 4 then tried to get some more rest. Coco came over about 7 so I just got up and fixed my Mocha Coffee and also made Biscuits and Milk Gravy for breakfast.

            I was groggy and out of sorts for most of the day and I think I have an infection on the side of the face where the bad tooth is because my head ached there.

            I went to the Gay Men’s sack  lunch at noon and there were the same old crowd namely Dwight Wood, Merrill Crosby, Doug, Kim, Jim McMullin and TJ Otaka, and Charles Bigo and Richard Harmston. The conversation was mainly about films shown at the Damn These Heels Film Festival and about Intersex people. I just brought a diet coke to drink because wasn’t feeling all that well. Mainly I was just tired and the side of my face ached. I brought squash from the garden to share and I gave TJ and Jim, and Charles and Richard each a mini loaf of zucchini bread. I guess Charles and Richard are going back down to San Diego this weekend to look at property.   I think Charles wants to move there more than Richard does but then they aren’t married.

            Afterwards I went to the Glendale Library to see Kyle Foote and I asked if he wanted to get a bite to eat and he did so we went to the Firehouse Hamburger Joint for lunch. It was good and I ordered their Firehouse Burger which had loads of jalapenos on it. It was good but I really couldn’t finish it. When we were done, I took Kyle back to the library and I went home where I tried to take a little nap.

            Mike Romero came over at 4:30 to retrieve Miss Coco because he’s going to pick her up while I have Alan Anderson’s pups because Corky is a handful. I gave Mike some of the pork roast I made, actually for the pup’s supper but nothing wrong with it and I had a few bites of it. I had bought it in the Smith’s discount meat section for $5 marked down from $9.

            Alan came by at 5:30 and brought Corky and Bhanni over.  So I am doggy sitting for Alan Anderson for a couple of days while he relaxes in St. Thomas in the Caribbean... so I will have 8 crazy canines plus Coco at the house for 6 days and 7 nights.

 

18 July 2019 Thursday

I had another fitful sleep with my tooth really aching so much I actual took a pain pill to try and sleep. Corky was driving me crazy too with his whining. My dogs will bark but not whine which really annoys me.

            Anyway I went down to Fortitude to check Kyle Foote out for the day.  We first went to the Redwood Clinic so Kyle could get a copy of some medical records he needed. I then had him drive the cruiser as I was really kind of groggy over to Smith’s Market place where he wanted to go clothes shopping. After 8 years of wearing nothing but baggy white prison clothes I am sure he needed some nice fitting new things.

I found this Woodstock tee shirt for $10 that had 1969 on it which was my year. I graduated from high school, was in love for the first time, the Stonewall Rebellion, the Moon landing, Woodstock, off to College... Anti War protests...it was a remarkable year marred only by the Manson Family murders. I was an 18 years old Orange county, California boy and the world was full of possibilities. Even though I am 50 years older now I am grateful I was young and alive then when everything seemed so new and the Beatles were still together.

After leaving Smith’s we went to Village Inn for a bite since I hadn’t eaten anything and we split a 2-2-2 breakfast. It’s not all that big of a breakfast in the first place but as little as we eat it was just right.

We did some more errands like going to Best Buy to ask some questions about laptops and then to this running place where Kyle could have his “running gait” measured since he runs in the morning and he wanted to avoid injury.

We came back to the house and Kyle met Corky and Bhanni. They get so animated. Kyle took Lulubelle for her walk. She loves them so while I just rested. I took some Tylenol Extra Strength and that seemed to help dull the pain.

Kyle dealt with clearing up his financial Aid records and other issues so that He can apply for student loans and VA funding for tuition. I helped him out by paying $3700 to get him out of default and get him back in good standing. Maybe I am foolish but I have the money and if Kyle is going to better himself I will try to help. Besides, I gave my sister Donna $5000 and Mike Romero $3000 a while back and I do think of Kyle as family, kind of a son I never had.  When I am dead and gone it won’t matter anyway and he has a future while I have a past.

We went to Chubby’s again for a late lunch of cheese enchiladas and really didn’t do much else for the rest of the afternoon. I tried to rest some and keep the pups calm. Mike came and picked up Coco at 4:30 and finally greeted Kyle. He was very cordial, even almost friendly to him. He asked how he’s doing and shook his hand. I think Kyle was anxious at first how Mike would react to him being here but I was pleasantly pleased.

I took Kyle back to Fortitude at 6 after first stopping at Lucky’s.  Kyle wanted to buy some steaks for his kitchen crew and I need mozzarella cheese for an egg plant- squash dish I made up this evening from veggies from the garden.

I didn’t do much else in the evening but rest, popped Tylenol, and watched Insidious on Netflix that I have been binged watching. 

I discovered a binge worthy series on Netflix called "Insatiable". It's a black comedy about a fat girl who loses weight and a man who lives to be a beauty pageant coach using her to win pageants. She only agrees to take revenge on those in High School who bullied her call her Fatty Patty. Even though she's thin and pretty now she still see herself as fat.

Lots and Lots of Gay energy in it. All the characters have back stories and are so quirky. The two rival pageant coaches are both named Bob and had been rivals since when they were in high school and are lawyers. I recommend it if you like queer and quirky.

 

19 July 2019 Friday

I found a Woodstock tee- shirt for $10 while with Kyle Foote yesterday. 1969 was my year. I graduated from high school, was in love for the first time, the Stonewall Rebellion, the Moon landing, Woodstock, off to College... Anti War protests...it was a remarkable year marred only by the Manson Family murders. I was an 18 years old Orange county, California boy and the world was full of possibilities. Even though I am 50 years older now I am grateful I was young and alive then when everything seemed so new and the Beatles were still together.

I discovered a binge worthy series on Netflix called "Insatiable". It's a black comedy about a fat girl who loses weight and a man who lives to be a beauty pageant coach using her to win pageants. She only agrees to take revenge on those in High School who bullied her call her Fatty Patty. Even though she's thin and pretty now she still see herself as fat.

There’s lots and lots of Gay energy in it. All the characters have back stories and are so quirky. The two rival pageant coaches are both named Bob and had been rivals since when they were in high school and are lawyers. I recommend it if you like queer and quirky.

            Kyle wanted me to get the dominions and model number of the Sharpe TV in the bedroom so he could look up a wall mount for it so we can put it in the front room. He also asked if I could meet him at the Glendale Library to put his bank card in the car for him. He said Fortitude  changed their mind about letting cooks keep a bank card in their locker or in the facility.

 

20 July 2019 Saturday

I was sitting at my computer this morning when I heard this crash... I got up and saw that Corky had left the upstairs gate open and poor Buddy took a tumble down the stairs. I don’t think he was hurt just shook up. He can't see much anymore and his legs are wobbly. I mowed the front yard this morning and cleaned some flower beds before it got to hot.

Fifty years ago would never dream America would be putting Children in cages. Then we dreamed of going to the Moon

I wonder if Nixon and Goldwater would have won Presidential elections in the 1960's whether we would have spent the resources to go to the moon or would have been so inspired. President Kennedy, in 1961 when I was 10 years old, challenged America to put a man on the moon before the end of the decade which we did in 1969 when I was 18. That America is so different than the one I am living in now.

·         Bill Poore I was walking in Central Park when Neil walked on the Moon....they had big screens all over the place....there must have be over a hundred thousand in the park that night....people dressed up like Moon People giving out moon rocks...it was real trip. funny how few times I have thought of that experience....

 

21 July 2019 Sunday

I didn’t do much today except type of my Journal from 1974 and lounge about. When Michael Romero came to put his camper away in the side drive way I asked if he wanted to get some lunch. He did so we went to Chubby’s where we ordered 3 bean tostados and 3 Street Tacos. I only managed to eat one of each though and what we didn’t eat Mike took home.

            I told Mike how I thought Buddy was really fading away and I may have to put him down sooner than this fall. When I took him out this morning, he was so wobbly and hardly could stand. I think he’s getting dementia as well as can’t see very well.  But he doesn’t seem to be in any pain, just sleeps all day and still eats his supper. The thought of putting him to sleep is very hard but I have to do what is best for my old boy.

            I picked some ripe tomatoes for the first time this season and had two big zucchini squash from the Garden. It was another warm day but I hear back east in the big cities they are really suffering with a heat wave plus high humidity.

            The TV wall mount came today that Kyle Foote is going to use to attach the TV to the front room wall.

            Kyle wrote me: “I checked and it looks like the dump is open on Wednesday the 24th. I called their number and they said they're even open on holidays. Since I can't go to the library I was thinking on Wednesday we can take all the rugs and the couch and everything else that's going to the dump out there that day. Would that work for you?” I told him that it shouldn’t be a problem. They only thing I have going on next week is the Dentist appointment on Tuesday

Half of Americans don’t care that we have a Racist Rapist in the White House. The Republicans clearly spelled out their game plan in 2016 and nearly half of America voted for them. Independents, Libertarians, and Green Party voters and Democrats who wouldn't vote for Hillary Clinton are responsible for Children in Cages and the rise of Trump's White Nationalist Christian Party. How did we get this way?

 

22 July 2019 Monday

It was 102 degrees today and in some places around the valley it 103 degrees. I went grocery shopping to get out of the house and also I needed some fuel for the Cruiser.

My property tax went up another $150 from last year but if goes to teachers and police I am all in. I can afford an extra $13 a month all though I resent being taxed for charter schools. And all those farmers in Central Utah bitching about Socialism my SLC taxes are paying for your water usage down there. Property Taxes on the house now is over $1600. The assessor values the house this year at $225,000 when last year it was $198,000.  It’s still valued at the low end of the housing market. I still owe nearly $100,000 on the place after refinancing it several time over the 23 years I’ve lived here.

I went to buy stamps at the Post Office to mail off a letter that Kyle Foote had written to one of his inmate friends down in Gunnison. I bought a collection of commemorative stamps that featured the 150 Anniversary of the Transcontinental Railroad completion. While there this doofus was making a snide comment about whether people even bought stamps anymore as he said he worked in all this high tek field. As we were leaving I said “you still but stamps if you have a friend in prison and like an idiot he said Remind me never to have friends in prison. God I hate that mentality. Probably a fucking Republican.

Later in the afternoon Kyle asked if I’d pick him up from the Glendale Library to take him shopping at Smith’s on 9^th West before taking him back to Fortitude, which I did.

Mike Romero came to take Coco home which he is doing while I have Corky and Bhanni here. He said he’s really enjoying Insatiable as much as I did. I sent him home with some tomatoes and squash from the garden.

 I think Buddy’s days are fading fast...I've been babying him and letting him sleep most of the day. When I carrying him down stairs he can hardly stand and is quite wobbly. I will have to make a hard decision sometime soon to do what's best for the quality of life for this extremely good and sweet old boy that I raised from a puppy. One sad day wont erase 13 years of good ones but it will still be heartbreaking. I tear up just thinking about the that time.

 

23 July 2019 Tuesday

I was up and down last night because of the dogs being anxious especially TJ. He acted like he was hungry even though I fed everyone baked chicken breasts and gizzards yesterday. So I go up and sliced up some hot dogs which of course everyone else thought they had to have some too.

            I had a strange dream that I was working temporarily some place other than Utah and that when I left work, they couldn’t find my bike I needed to go home on and I had Harleigh and Buddy with me who I was worried about getting lost as it was night time. I didn’t have an contact numbers in my phone to call anyone so I was really anxious I would have had to walk home in the dark keeping my pups from wandering off.  I wonder what was in my head.

            I slept in my bed because I had so many dogs wanting to sleep with me. I woke up just before 7 this morning and took the pups out. I had inadvertently shut Lulubelle in the bathroom when I got up to pee last night and she followed me. Poor little girl was isolated for much of the rest of the gang.

            It was a beautiful morning neither hot nor cold so I decided to mow the back yard about the time Coco was dropped off. When I was through I sat with TJ on my lap enjoying looking at  garden and the start of a brand new day.

            I went out to Fortitude to pick up Kyle Foote at 11:30 to take him back to the house so he could use the truck to go see his old Missionary President and his wife. I then went to Centerville for my noon appointment with Dr. Carter. My appointment was at noon but he wasn’t able to do the extraction until 1:30 because someone came in with an emergency. I like Dr. Carter as well as my female dentist but I think because of his strength he had less of a hard time extracting the tooth than she did.

            It cost $230 to have the tooth pulled which was cheaper that $600 for a crown on that tooth which Dr. Carter said I could lose in a year anyway. Home from having a tooth extraction...oh vey... at the rate I am going I will be toothless by the time I'm 70 but I still have my smile           I was home a little after 2 and Kyle came in shortly after that. We got our ballots in the mail for the Mayoral Race. We will send them in later. Kyle had to be back at Fortitude and I was home right at 3:30 as Alan Anderson pulled up. We visited for about a half an hour before he left with the pups. Well my 2 canine guests just went home so back to being normal with just 6 pups plus Coco.

It was then I noticed Kyle forgot to put his chocolate ice cream back in the freezer... it hadn't melted but just a little soft so it's back in the freezer now.  Alan wanted to know if Kyle is ever able to go to an evening event like Saturday Voyeur. I said I didn't know but would ask him

I saw that we only have 10 percent left for the next three days on our Verizon Data plan. So I just added 1 more gig for the next few days... hopefully that will see us through until it recycles

Well I finally had a cup of applesauce at 11:30 tonight. It’s all I have had all day since coffee and a cinnamon roll this morning. Who wants to eat anything after changing and swapping out bloody gauze. Good news is that my toothache is gone.

This is the 1st eve of the 24th of July we haven't been bombarded with fireworks and bombs going off. I noticed today that signs were posted over here on the west side of Redwood Road in Westpointe as a no fireworks Zone! Thank you Jesus.

Before Traxx, Main Street was the Parade Route for the Mormon Pioneer Parade and thousands, I mean thousands would be camped out the night before on the sidewalks between South Temple and 5th South, staking out their spot. It was a fun activity cruising up and down with my Gay friends checking out the young Mormon guys who usually were the ones camped out. It was a festive time with music, and people just enjoying a warm summer night.

The northeast corner 3rd South and Broadway was "Gay Central" for the Youth Group, Gay Hustlers, and other cruisers before there was a Pride Center. We all were kind of mixed back then.

After the parade route was changed and wasn't condensed downtown it kind of lost the appeal.

Liberty Park was the Neighborhood Fair on the 24th but Mormons from all over the valley crammed into the park and eventually it was so crowded it had to be canceled. Fireworks once were set off over the duck pond and shrapnel rained down on us who were sitting beneath. One woman even had a broken leg from rockets falling. So they moved the fireworks over to the ball park on 7th.

Gay groups had their presence there and Ben-David Barr stirred up controversy by wanting to distribute Condoms at the AIDS Awareness Booth. The City squashed that. Condoms were under lock and key where they could be sold even in the midst of the AIDS Health crisis.

It was a different time and we Gays who were out back then were the true pioneers for the Queering of Salt Lake City.

 

24 July 2019 Wednesday

I asked for an appointment for a Euthanasia  Vet from a clinic called Laps of Love to put Buddy down at  (801) 396-0368 and  SLC@LapofLove.com. I don’t know when he will respond back with this being a holiday. Last night he had an accident on the hall carpet runner and saw that he had thrown up all his food he ate yesterday so he’s not getting any nutrients. It’s time for me to do what is right for this sweet old boy.  I do not want him to suffer as did his sister Daisy.

            The bleeding of my gum where I had the tooth extracted has stopped finally and I know it’s going to be a challenge to chew food anymore with what molars I have left. Oh well. It won’t be very long it won’t matter.

Well my Gypsy Red couch and divan is gone. I took all the cushions down and swept under the couch until I had went to pick Kyle Foote up at Fortitude. Since the library was closed today for the State Holiday her wanted to come to the house and take care of getting rid of the couch. I had it for 9 years in Fact Kyle was with me when I picked it out and now he is here for us to get rid of it. I only bought it because it was called Gypsy Red. It was always too big for the small space I have in the front room. So we took it and area rugs that had been peed on out to the dump today. It  was kind of sad to say goodbye to it as it was the pups bed as mine for any a night. Another sign of change in my life I suppose.

Sent in Kyle and my ballots today. It seemed like the right thing to do on Pioneer Day... a lot of great candidates who love Salt Lake City enough to run for mayor but alas you can only vote for one but fortunately the one I voted for, Jim Dabakis, will be fantastic mayor besides being a wonderful friend.

I bought Michael Romero a sheet of Commemorative Stamps that celebrated the 150^th anniversary of the Golden Spike Transcontinental Railroad.

While celebrating Pioneer Day I want to remember all the undocumented Mormon refugees who crossed illegally in to Mexico because they feared violence and persecution from their native country of the United States.

Well even though we are a no fireworks zone plenty of law scoffers felt that it was patriotic to break the laws and do what they want.

            Robert Mueller is testifying before Congress about the Mueller Report. Nothing will change unless Trump drops dead from a heart attack we can only hope. Boris Johnson is Prime Minister of the United Kingdom now and he’s a miniature Trump. What times we are living in.

 

25 July 2019 Thursday

It was a busy day. I picked up Kyle Foote at 8 and we came home and took apart my captain bed and hauled it to Deseret Industries. I had that bed for 10 years, I bought it after Michael Romero moved out of the house in 2009, It was too hard for the dogs to get on and of course they all cried to sleep with me. I moved Michael’s grandma Nora’s twin bed into my bedroom and moved the conjoined lazy boys into the movie room. It fit perfectly. We then moved the two recliners from the movie room into the front room.

Bill Poore came over at 11 to treat us to lunch at Culvers in Bountiful. He said he won $700 out in Wendover the other day. I guess now that he has a decent vehicle he feel he can take it on a road trip. We had Kyle drive us because I still don’t trust Bill to hear anything because his hearing aids aren’t working, which seems to always be the case. I really don’t care to go out to eat with him when he doesn’t have his hearing aids working because I have to shout and he speaks for loudly that it’s often embarrassing for me because I never have like drawing attention to myself when out in public but Bill doesn’t seem to care. Some missionaries were eating there and he kept commenting on how cute they were and nice butts. I don’t know why we bother eating out anymore as neither one of eats a thing. He ordered a Cod fish sandwich and didn’t eat a bit of it and I just ate half of patty melt. Old habit I guess.

Anyway back at the house Kyle mounted my TV on the south wall in the living room so I can rock in my lazy boy and watch my shows sitting up instead of laying in bed. That is nice but not sure what the pups think about all the changes.

Kyle had two meeting this afternoon one with a mental health provider and the other with a Vocational Rehabilitation officer so  I started cleaning up my bedroom and going through drawers that have collected useless items over the years and started dumping them in the trash. I took Coco home and gave Michael a bunch of eggs I had bought on sale at Luckys which were way more than I could ever eat.

Since I got rid of all the rugs, I needed to order new ones so went on Amazon and got one. Harleigh has a hard time on the laminate floors. Buddy is just resting most of the day and seems at time almost spry but I'm waiting to hear back from a vet who will come to the house but in no big hurry just sooner than later.

When I took Kyle back to Fortitude, we first stopped at Taco Bell because Kyle was hungry for a bean burrito. I  worked at Taco Bell going to College in California in the early 1970's. The TB of today is not even remotely the same establishment. Then it was a simple menu with everything made primarily with two main items, Taco Seasoned ground beef and Refried Beans made fresh every day in pressure cookers. Lettuce, Cheese, and Onions were cut everyday fresh on premise. Everything went into either a taco shell, a flour tortilla, a hamburger bun, or cup container. They only thing that came from corporate with the red and green sauces, and the taco meat seasoning. Simple menu, Tacos, red or green bean burritos, all meat burritos, or bean and meat burritos, Bell Burgers (taco meat on a bun) and frijoles in a cup. Such a simple menu and always delicious. I worked there when enchilritos were introduced and I hated making them because it slowed everything down having to put 3 olives on the top and then a lid LOL. I can't eat at Taco Bell because I remember how good they used to be and fresh not just reconstituted crap from corporate and who can keep up with their crazy menu?

I slept in my twin bed tonight trying to get use to it. The pups are trying too. I have a canker sore on the right side of my mouth. I think from learning to bite down differently now that my chewing has changed. Ouch.

 

26 July 2019 Friday

I took a car load of blankets and sheets and other items down to Deseret Industries  this morning since I don't have a full size bed anymore. Time to clean out drawers and cabinets and get rid of things I have no use for anymore.

Then I went shopping a little today to buy twin size sheets now that I have downsized. I went to Target first but didn’t like their sheets. I like plain cotton not the tee shirt quality that is popular now. So I reluctantly went to Wal-Mart and found what I wanted plus I picked up cheap area rug so Harleigh won’t go slipping and a sliding on his wobbly legs. I think he's happy with it.

            I cleaned out all my old VCR movies and actually just threw them away. I will never watch them really, and most of them I had on a disk or I can stream them on line now. Times change. Why hold on to things that will eventually go into the trash anyway?

            I made some Zucchini Bread before going to bed to bring over to the Giles tomorrow.

Alan Anderson bought two tickets to Saturday Voyeur for me again and I’m taking Kyle Foote this year. It’s on August 17^th. 

 

27 July 2019 Saturday

Mike Romero came over at 8:30 to go to the Farmer’s Market in Murray and then look for a futon frame before heading down to Day Break to see the Giles and the baby Shirley. Surprisingly we hit some summer showers along the way but it was intermittent. I guess it was still early for a lot of the farmers because there weren’t’ as many out there as in August and September. However they did have apricots which is what I wanted. Mike bought some peaches but I don’t think they were locally grown as peaches usually aren’t in season until late August and September.

            Michael wanted some Donuts from the Deli on 27^th and State so we stopped there but I didn’t have any because my jaw was achy. I don’t know whether its from an infection or another bad cavity. Ugh! He wanted to look at a Futon store on 21^st South but it was no longer there. Since my tooth was aching we stopped at Smiths there and I bought some more Tylenol Extra Strength pills and then we stopped at DI to see what they might have, which was nothing so we went to IKEA down off of Bangerter. I hadn't been out there in probably 10 years or more. Who needs a gym membership when walking through the maze was strenuous enough. I thought a person could get lost there for years, die, and rot before anyone would notice.

We were looking for a futon frame for Mike but instead found an inexpensive day bed sofa that when folded down which the dogs could easily jump up on and large enough to accommodate all of them. I only buy furniture for my canine these days.

However they only had a few left so we went all the way back to Mike’s place to unload his camping gear so we would have space to load them in the back of his truck

Mike and I both bought one and of course you have to load the items yourself from their warehouse. As Mike and I were struggling because the cartons were bulky and covered with a slick plastic, this younger man asked if we needed help. We said no and thanked him but it dawned on Mike that they guy must of thought we were two old men and I said what do you think we are?

            I paid for both day beds, which was only $190 then we left to go to the Giles, but first stopping to pick up pizzas from a placed called Mountain Mikes to bring. Daybreak has built up all around the Giles place so they are kind of hidden now but we found it.

            They were surprised when I said I hadn’t been out to their place except for once for a quite visit in almost 2 years and had not seen how they had landscaped the back yard which was lovely. Everything they do inside and out is so homey. We had a good visit catching up and when Baby Shirley woke up got to finally meet her. She is such a pretty baby with really blond hair and blue eyes with a sweet disposition. She is well loved and cared for without a doubt. Randy said his job at UPS security was terminated just the other day so he’ll be looking for work again. Kimberley is back to being the main breadwinner again but Elyse is a school counselor and  Kayla is working and of course Gay has her social security so there’s income. The girls all live down stairs like a separate household with their bedrooms, bathrooms, and even a kitchen.  Kayla is at that experimental age where she likes both boys and girls but leaning more towards girls but doesn’t want to be “labeled”.  Well we Gays and Lesbians fought hard so this generation can say they don’t want to be labeled. It was good catching up with the Giles even if we live at different ends of the valley now.

            I was home by 5 and rather worn out. I fixed the pups their supper and then kind of relaxed. The doggie steps I bought from Amazon for the pups to use to get on the bed came today. I wonder if they will use it. Now I have to figure out how to get the daybed upstairs.  Another job for Kyle I suppose.

 

28 July 2019 Sunday

I fixed a nice pot roast Sunday dinner for Bill Poore who brought treats for the pups and flowers for Buddy. I told him that Buddy’s not dead yet. He still has some life left in him. Since it was just the two of us we could shout as loud as we wanted. I had texted Mike to come over but he never got the message. I fixed mashed potatoes and brown gravy, green beans with bacon, summer squash, and crescent rolls. I sent him home with supper for tonight as well and tomatoes from the garden and some zucchini bread.

It was quite warm here in Westpointe 96 degrees compared to yesterday. It’s getting to hot to want to be out doing yard work. After seeing how lovely the Giles had landscaped their back yard I thought I should be out there doing more but then they aren’t 68 years old either.

Kyle Foote asked if I’d bring his debit cards down to the Glendale Library which I did at 2:30 in the afternoon. We just briefly visited. He said that yesterday his paperwork wasn’t completed by his supervisor so he wasn’t able to leave Fortitude at all. I think it made him realize again that he’s not truly free yet from the system controlling him.

From there I went over to Mike Romero’s to bring him what was left over from the pot roast dinner which was a lot. He had moved the couch we bought at IKEA already by himself upstairs. It looks like it will really suit my purposes too. He wasn’t answering his phone when I first got there so it was a good thing I remembered the garage code to get into his place.

In the evening I moved some computer stuff from the front room to the bedroom because eventually I am moving all of it to the back bedroom anyway.

TJ is starting to use the doggie steps I put next to the twin bed so that makes me happy and all of the pups live the cheap Wall-mart rug I bought for the front room. When Bill was over all of them was laying on it, even old Buster.

I watched a little TV, surfing to see if there was any new series I could watch that might be as good as Insatiable. There wasn’t. I did watch a little of Orange Is the New Black but I think I am done with those bitches.

·         Bill Poore Just had a great pot roast dinner at Bens with the pups enjoying their new rug to sleep on... Dinner is like meals on wheels....one at Bens then one for the road to eat tomorrow....couldn't ask for more. Ben said the rug was just a cheap thing he is using until the more expensive arrives, but don't tell Ben all six pups were sleeping sound on the cheap rug....never seen them on the floor sleeping together before....they love cheap, just like Ben.

 

29 July 2019 Monday

I took Coco down to the Dog Park on North Temple to be groomed this morning. Then I went to pick Kyle Foote up at Fortitude at 12:30. He wanted to get a haircut so we went to my haircutting place I usually do. Then I noticed that Groomers had left a message much earlier that Coco was ready so we grabbed Maxx so he could get his nails trimmed.

            So once back to the house Kyle helped me bring the IKEA daybed upstairs and he attached the legs for me. It’s perfect for the dogs and me. He had a letter from David Busby an inmate he knew at Gunnison. He spent the rest of his time scanning in documents he needs for his Vocational Rehab case while I relaxed. He also posted Mike Romero’s Jumpin Jack little camper trailer on KSL Kyle is so good at that.  He wanted to go to Target before heading back and he also had to pick up a prescription at the Redwood Clinic. We barely made it back on time at 4:30.

            It was hot today at 101 degrees but I wasn’t out in it much so didn’t bother me any. I took Coco home and Buddy seemed a little more spry today. One minute I think he’s on death’s door and the next he’s up about and wanting to go for a ride. When he’s totally given up or gets really sick, then it will be time to say goodbye.

            I was relaxing watching the tube when Mike came over with Coco this evening, which surprised me. He said he already had several calls on the trailer and this one guy was really interested and ready to pay cash if he could see it. He lived in Kaysville, Mike asked if I’d go with him for moral support and I said I would. We parked in a lot next to Kaysville Jr High and across from Davis High School to meet this guy. He was probably in his 50’s and taller than Mike so he wanted to see if he’s fit in it and for Mike to show him how to set it up. Mike bought the trailer in 2012 but hadn’t used it since 2015 when he bought his big camping trailer so it was time to get rid of it as it was just taking up space in his garage. The guy was impressed with it and bought it for $1500. His only concern was how his vehicle would tow it but it was fairly light only 500 pounds and I suppose if it doesn’t work out for him he could always sell it for what he paid for it or even more.

            On the way home Mike asked if he could borrow $30,000 to pay off all his debts and pay me $500 a month over the next 5 years.  We are both at the age we need to let go of a lot of things.  I have no debts and I have the money so I said I would so I need to talk to my financial guy Tyler Ferguson and figure out how to access money from my 401K account. I have never touched it in the 4 years I’ve been retired and have managed to live comfortably on my social Security and state pension.  Might as well put the money to work instead of just setting there doing no good.

 I didn’t get home until about 9:30 and the pups and I slept in the living room on the day bed. So that’s that.

            There was another shooting by a white supremacist terrorist teenager, this time in Gilroy California at their Garlic Festival. He was 19 and shot dead by police but not before killing a 6 year old boy and young girl, and a man randomly. Of course he used an assault weapon that he bought legally in Nevada but is illegal in California.  

 

30 July 2019 Tuesday

Super hot again today at 101 degrees but we haven’t really had a heat wave this summer just regular July 90 degree weather for this time of year. I want to the American First Credit Union on 17^th South and Pioneer to pay off my $4000 credit card bill from fixing the furnace, hot tub, and having a root canal done. I also transferred $13,000 in my savings to a higher interest return. So strange to actually have money in the bank when for most of my life I had struggled with having little or no cash flow and was broke more often than not. That experience made me a little paranoid about spending money I think  but I never was all that materialistic.

I bought $25 worth of perennials that were on sale as it's the end of July and most nurseries are closing out their flowers. In the cool of the evening I Just finished planting them in the front yard flower boxes and pulling up weeds. I also watered them well and then hosed down the cobwebs on the house and bushes. We haven't had a good summer storm to clean the cobwebs away. It felt good grubbing in the soil and drinking water from a hose. It was cool beneath all my trees. Faeries love their gardens.

Did I miss Trump's heartfelt sympathy for the people murdered at the Garlic Festival in California and all the thoughts and prayers the Republicans and the NRA sent to the grieving families? I suppose because they were Latino the slaughter didn't count as the killer was a white supremacist teenage American and not a Muslim.

 

31 July 2019 Wednesday

I think all the pups are happy with the IKEA day bed. It folds up into a sitting couch for company but until then I keep it flat. New rugs for front room and dining room so Harleigh and Buddy don’t go slipping and a siding.

The Monsoon rains came today so the temperature really dropped down into the 89’s from being 101 yesterday.  I went down and had my car inspected and registered for another year this morning at 9 then didn’t do much else before going down to the Pride Center for the Gay Men’s Noon sack Lunch.  I brought down some squash and tomatoes from the garden as well as some zucchini bread to share. Charles Bigo and Richard Harmston were back from San Diego and said they are buying a Condo in San Diego together and will be moving there at the end of the month. I am happy for them but I am content to stay put.

            In the late afternoon I was surprised to see Mike Romero over hitching up his camper. He said it’s been slow at work so he took two days off to go camping. He said he’s so glad he got rid of the small pop up trailer because it was work to set it up and this camper you just walk into it and you are done setting up.

            Well here it is the end of July already. Twenty Democrats are running for President and 19 of them will have to live with disappointment. Jim Dabakis is polling at twice the support of his second challenger. There are about 6 people in that race for city Mayor. Stan Penfold is 25 pts behind Jim.

·         Going through my old 1974 journal I came across the recipe for Grandpa Williams’ West Texas Chili. This is half of the measurements he would make. Pinto Beans were always cooked separately. I posted it on line because some of my cousins might want it.

1 pound coarse ground beef

1/8 bottle of Eagle Brand Chili Powder

1 tsp of crushed New Mexico Chili

¼ of a garlic pod minced

1/8 tsp of ground cumin

½ tbsp of paprika

Salt to taste

Boil in a quart of water than simmer to consistency desired.

·         Grandma Williams' Apple Butter recipe

3 cups of cooked apples real dry

1 cup sugar

½ tsp of cinnamon, ginger, and allspice

¼ tsp of cloves

Watch that it doesn’t burn after adding sugar. Stir constantly.

 

 

AUGUST

1 August 2019 Thursday

I went out to Fortitude to pick up Kyle Foote at 8 this morning for his leave day. We came back to the house to get the Sonoma so he could use it to take his driving test. The DMV office is at the State Fair Grounds and we were there by 9 for his test. He passed with no problems so that’s another achievement towards being introduced back into society.

            Since he finished so early I asked him to go to take the mattress of my old captain bed out to the dump which we did with some of the old carpet runners that were all peed up over the years. It was $15 each time we went to the dump out past 5400 South on California Street which is the same as 13^th South.

            Kyle had a noon appointment with the state vocational rehab counselor again and after meeting with him, we went to Chubby’s for our usual Cheese Enchiladas that we split.

            After that we came home and Kyle power washed the upper deck of Buddy’s messes that had soaked into the deck while I cleaned up the side of house along the third driveway of old leaves and yard debris. It was hot today but only in the 90’s so now that bad.

            When our chores were done, we watched an episode of Berlin Babylon which of course Kyle had never seen.  So that was pretty much the day until I took him back to Fortitude at 6. 

            I came home and fed the hounds the stew I had been cooking for them all day and finished watch The Hangover on Netflix. I hadn’t seen that since Mark Anderson and I went together back in 2009. It was still pretty funny.

            I need to call Bob Waldrop back in Oklahoma. Willy Marshall texted me and said that Bob wanted me to call him. He has terminal Cancer so probably doesn’t have much longer to live.

 

2 August 2019 Friday

I am finally finishing typing up my 1974 Journal. The year 1974 could be divided into three distinct periods. The first was the Winter Term at BYU when I living at the Hostel Apartments and not attending BYU. My life was completely dominated by the Family Home Evening group I was assigned to in the 41^st BYU Branch. I was infatuated with my roommate Mike Allred and trying to suppress those feelings by dating and being involved with several of my “family” sisters.

            The middle part of the year was the Spring and Summer Terms at BYU, in which I was enrolled, and I moved from the Hostel Apartments and the 41^st Branch leaving many of the family group behind when I moved into the Park Plaza Apartments which was co-ed depending on what floor you lived on. I returned to work at the Cougareat Cafeteria in the Wilkinson Center where I met John Wagner, a complex individual who was also struggling with being Mormon and a homosexual. My total occupation with John and his health issues eventually kept me from graduating from BYU by a ½ a unit.

            The last third of the year had me leaving Utah for financial reasons and returning to live at home with my parents in Garden Grove. I felt as if I was living in exile; however I found work in an elegant Italian Restaurant called Don Giovanni. The place was owned by two Gay businessmen who hired primarily Gay Waiters and pretty young males as staff. Even though I was still devoutly Mormon I think they could recognize who I was really was trying to hide.

I received my new day Bohemian bed cover from Amazon today and I love the bright colors. Unless you grew up in Southern California in the 60's, attended Happenings and Love-Ins like I did in Modjeska Canyon , spent time at the Mystic Art Gallery in Laguna Beach, hand crafted your own sandals at Cypress College and know the difference between batikking and tie dying, marched in anti war protests at Cal State Fullerton and psychedelia is your favorite form of rock and roll and you made your clothes from Indian Print bedspreads like my sister Donna made for me, you will never understand my sense of color, love of animals, gardening, and belief in social justice... old hippies never die we just wear more tie dye... Peace Love Happiness ...

            I gave some tomatoes and squash for my Latino neighbors to the north of me this afternoon. My tomatoes are really coming in.

Willy  Marshall texted me and said “Bob Waldrop has terminal cancer and would like you to call him sometime between 10am and 8pm Utah time.  His number is 405-637-6659.  He is having vision problems and has trouble calling people or reading. He said he's had a great life and is in good spirits”

So I called Bob but he sounded extremely weak and didn't feel up to talking. I just told him I loved him and cared for him. His long time roommate, a man named Sean was staying with him.

Kyle Foote said that his sister Jamie Fultz  texted him and wants to meet him for dinner next Wednesday. She is the sister who was my room mother when I taught her son Morgan when I first met Kyle. She's feeling guilty that she never went to see him in prison and only wrote him a couple of times that whole period.  When Kyle went to prison I brought her a lot of his things he had left here like military records. She is the only one that really had anything to do with him before he went to prison.

I watched Bad Education a Pedro Almodovar film. I really liked it.

·         Richard P. Butler I can hear the Sitar and smell the Incense. What next beaded curtains.

·          Benedgar Williams Richard P. Butler patchouli oil and the Beatles guru period ... a beaded curtain could be fun

·         Bill Poore Ben is so not a hippie, he never smoked pot and listen to the real acid rock like I did....Did you see the Doors, Rolling Stones, Big Brother and the Holding Company, Jefferson Airplanes, etc stoned on acid? Janice came to our theatre at Lagoon and smoked pot with us in our dressing rooms....,I do like your new spread brings back great memories. The pups love the new things, it brightens their days....Good job.

·         Benedgar Williams Bill Poore I was a hippie flower child not a pot head like you... I was high on life and John Cunningham

·         Bill Poore Benedgar Williams oh God, John Cunningham....of course. He was your drugs.

 

3 August 2019  Saturday

 Michael Romero came home from camping the past couple of days, this morning and I took the Sonoma down to Fortitude to pick up Kyle Foote who was so excited to go to the Parade of Homes. I think it’s funny that it’s the least exciting thing to do that I can think of but since he wants to go into construction management he’s really is enthused about seeing what is new, trending and innovative.

            We went out to Stansbury Park in Tooele County, which was the last home on the route, first. It was a nice drive to get out on the road and it rained some at Lake Point and the air smelled so nice and the area smelled like country and fresh.

            Kyle paid for the tickets which were $20 each, which surprised me that they were that much just to be looking around someone’s house. The Stansbury home was on the market for 1.3 million dollars and was on a private manmade pond. It was interesting to see what was trending in 2019 but all in all I thought the house was too large for my tastes.

            Since Kyle had to be checked in by 4:30 we only had time to see one more home and it was in the Olympus Cove and Millcreek area and was built in an established neighborhood of I am sure more million dollar homes. It had an industrial look to it with imported Italian tile and really over sized bathrooms. The only fixtures I really liked was the bathroom sinks that weren’t basins but were more like slanted ceramic that drained down at the ends.  

            I only went to really keep Kyle company as I am just not that impressed with opulence and I am grateful for my little home on Fernleaf but I kept any negativity to myself as not to rain on Kyle’s Parade of Homes.

            Before heading back to Fortitude we had a late lunch at Barbacoa, over on Foothill and 39^th South in the same shopping center as ACE Hardware where Billy Bikowski was working when I went out to see him last year. How strange it seemed to be with Kyle and so closed to Billy Bikowski. He probably wasn’t working and I didn’t bother to check but had a little heart pang for a once beloved individual.

            After splitting a meal, we drove down 39^th and stopped at the Arctic Circle on 7^th East for a shake and an chocolate dipped ice cream cone. I had been craving an Arctic Circle cone but all the stands close to me like on North Temple and the one on 9^th South and state Street have all closed.

            I dropped Kyle Foote off and then came home to feed the hounds. Didn’t do much this evening but tried to relax and watched some TV. The wind came up strong like a storm was coming in but we didn’t get any rain out of it. I watched Jersey Boys a Clint Eastwood movie about the Four Seasons before going to bed. I saw the musical at the Capital Theater a few years ago.

            There was another mass murder this morning in El Paso by a young white nationalist Trump supporter who was targeting Latinos in a Wal-mart there. He had an AK-15 rifle and killed 20 people before he was arrested.

 

4 August 2019 Sunday

I woke up to the news of another mass murder this time in Dayton, Ohio by a White Terrorist killing 7 people. In a country where even the killing of babies in Kindergarten is acceptable the NRA controlled Republican Party nothing will be done except sending useless thoughts and prayers.

            I started to work on my lecture series for 1994 this morning while preparing a Pork Roast dinner for Bill Poore and Mike Romero. I noticed that the Pride Center hadn’t put the event on their calendar for this Wednesday so I guess I will need to find out what is going on.

            I fixed roast pork, pork gravy, mashed potatoes, cornbread dressing, buttered corn, squash, deviled eggs, an English Pea salad, and crescent rolls for our Sunday dinner. Bill came early at noon and Mike came late at 12:45. I sent a plate home with Michael with left overs but Bill didn’t want anything so I did seen them both home with Zucchini Bread.

 

5 August 2019 Monday

It was another warm day in Salt Lake City. I went down to my Vietnamese Barber at 10 to get a haircut and beard trim then made an appointment for Harleigh to get groomed tomorrow at 11.

            I spent the rest of the morning and early afternoon writing up my report for Wednesday’s History Lesson before going to meet Kyle Foote at the Glendale Library. I picked him up at 2:30 and he went with me to Lowe’s to look at Linoleum for my bedroom. I want to replace the old carpet with something that is more dog friendly. I’ve really noticed that the bedroom has a strong dog urine odor now.  I think I saw the kind flooring that I want and Kyle will install it for me. I guess I will be painting the room too as it has been painted since Michael left.

            We then went to Dickey’s BBQ on 3^rd and 17^th South but we were upset to see a picture of Ronald Reagan on the wall. LOL That kind of spoiled it for us but we ate anyways. He ordered to pork sliders and I order some fried okra.

            Before heading back to Fortitude Kyle needed to go shopping at Target for toiletries and groceries and I bought a mini waffle maker that’s just 4 inches wide. It is perfect for a small breakfast and better than frozen waffles.

Bill Poore said he went to doctor today, and she was not happy about his blood work....she hit him with a lot of to do things: diet, exercise. He has to go back in two months for  more blood work. The doctor said two of his blood things were really  high and needs to be brought down.

.

6 August 2019 Tuesday

I worked for most of the day either typing up my lecture on the year 1994 or posting newspaper articles from that period on my Utah Stonewall Historical Society Page. I did go down to the Pride Center to have Katie Webinger show me again how to reserve a room and then post an event on the Pride Calendar. She’s so helpful and patient with me. I heard Rob Moolman is back from Australia where he went to work of his dissertation.

            I have been watching a great series on Netflix called Charite at War, a German series about a Berlin hospital during World War II. It is really good. It was another really hot day again at 100 degrees so summer is hanging on. All that is in the news is the horrible mass shootings in El Paso and in Dayton Ohio.

Republicans lifted the ban on civilians owning Assault Weapons under George W Bush. The only purpose of an assault weapon is to kill people, not for hunting or protection.

I personally feel anyone who desires to own this mass murdering device has a mental illness. If you want to own a gun or rifle for protection or for hunting fine; but why does anyone need an arsenal in their home unless they are paranoid?

According to the Gun Violence Archives, which tracks these things because Republican refused to let the CDC do so, ... in the last 5 years we have had 281,400 casualties caused by shootings, 71,400 of them fatalities, with 3,370 of those being children. The amount of fatalities is twice the amount of Americans who died in Vietnam. The entire population of Salt Lake City is only 200,544 people.

There's a War Zone on OUR side of the border financed by the Gun industry, promoted by the NRA and protected by the GOP. Republicans are only interested in protecting their money interests not the lives of Americans. They have twisted the meaning of the 2nd Amendment to an obscene perversion; making the right to bear arms America's Golden Calf.

We have had a MASS shooting for every day of the year so far. Bigots want to blame Mexico and refugees. It's not the Muslims and Mexicans who are killing our fellow Americans. Mexico's violence is fueled by drug cartels who supply America's drug habits.

Sending "Thoughts and Prayers" by the NRA puppets is the domain of willful obstructionists who will do anything but pass legislation reform. Faith without works IS dead. Where is meaningful gun reform, Moscow Mitch?

So, Good luck going shopping, clubbing, back to school, to church, to a festival, to the movies and to music concerts, America. Know where the nearest exit is or perhaps start buying bullet proof vests. Hmmm the new back to school essential item is bullet proof clothing instead of back packs. Thoughts and Prayers.

 

7 August 2019 Wednesday

I worked organizing and printing out  my report for tonight's lecture series at the Pride Center. I also baked Cookies and picked tomatoes from the garden to bring for folks.  It was much cooler today only in the 80’s. That a significant change. I picked Kyle Foote up at 6 from Fortitude and he brought me over to the Pride Center. He needed the truck because he was meeting his sister Jamie Fultz for the first time since he went to Prison. They were meeting at Chubby’s for dinner.

            At the Pride Center, I visited some with the evening Desk receptionist Kevin Ball whose health he said was not very good. He has stomach issues where he can’t tolerate certain foods. I’ve been there done that so I sympathize.

            We had a good turnout at the meeting which surprised me because I thought as after the hiatus of June and July, it would be slow to pick up. We had about 18 people tonight including 3 women, which is unusual. Some of my regulars like TJ and Jim, Charles and Richard, Courtney Moser, were there as well as some infrequent attendees like Chad Anderson and Dave Omer. A couple of new guys came too who I didn’t know but seemed really interested.

            I had to keep reminding people when they were kind of surprised by the conditions I was sharing that this was 25 years ago; a whole generation ago and that times are better.

            Kyle came and picked me up at 8:30 and since he didn’t have to be back at Fortitude we stopped at the Arctic Circle on 17^th South and 5^th East. I ordered a hamburger since I hadn’t eaten dinner and he had a moose track shake. He said his visit with his sister went well and that his nephew Morgan who I taught in 5^th Grade at Washington is a missionary in Moscow, Russia of all places.

            I saw in the paper that the last Marie Calendar restaurants in Utah are closing so no more fresh Marie Calendars pies...

 

8  August 2019 Thursday

Dogs woke me up at 5:30 this morning so I carried Buddy downstairs and Harleigh down in to the yard. I stayed up after that  reading the latest atrocity of the trump regime when nearly 700 undocumented workers in Mississippi were arrested by trump’s Gestapo leaving many children coming home from the first day of school with no parents at home. This is trump’s America.

I went and checked Kyle Foote out at Fortitude at 8 and brought him home. While he worked on admission stuff on the computer until his doctor’s appointment at 10, I moved everything out of my bedroom into the movie room to pull up the carpet. He was gone the  rest of the day going to the Parade of Homes show again. It’s almost like a field trip for him because that is the field he wants to go into.

            I spent the afternoon while he was gone pulling up the carpet and scraping up the carpet pad. It’s been nearly 23 years since it was laid down and the pad was nearly disintegrated and it had to be scraped off the plywood floor that was soaked with dog pee from over the years. There was about a 1/8 of an inch of dirt that had filtered down through the carpet over the years also. No matter how often I vacuumed it never truly cleaned the carpet.

So I pulled up my 23 year old bedroom carpet to put down linoleum that I can keep clean mopping up accidents. After 23 years of Oscar, Priscilla, Saffy, Smokey, Daisy, Buddy, Lucky, Harleigh, Maxx, TJ, Farley, Lulubelle, and Buster as well as Coco and doggy sitting Corkey, Bhanni, Miley, and Sophie there have been a lot of accidents and carpet pads are so unforgiving.

 I am going to paint my bedroom too... I am thinking of a butterscotch color...

I had no idea we were going to get a soaking rain today especially after the 100° we had earlier in the week but glad for it.

When Kyle came back to the house at 5:30 so I could take him back to Fortitude, Tyler Ferguson, my financial guy called me back finally and I made an appointment to see him next Tuesday at noon to go over my finances and see what I need to do to pull out money for Mike Romero. He wants to borrow $30,000 to pay off all his debts and then pay me back $500 a month until it’s paid off. The only hitch is the taxes I will have to pay on that amount.

45 years ago today Richard Milhous Nixon resigned as President of the United States rather than be impeached... even he had more decency than lying trump.

·         Bill Poore How many showed up....it seems they had not gotten the kidney results back, they are not good at all.  I am more concerned about the kidneys than anything else. She has taken me off most of my meds including metformin.

·         We had a good crowd about 18 with 3 Lesbians but no whining Trans to argue about everything thank goodness... so what are they going to do about your metformin to keep blood sugars down? How are they monitoring them? Kyle is out going to the parade of homes tomorrow. I've taken everything out of the bedroom to pull the carpet up... Kyle is going to lay down linoleum...  carpets and pups do not mix

 

9 August 2019 Friday

Kyle Foote took the truck to go to see a few Parade of Homes and to see Dallin Gerber an old friend of his for coffee.  I went to the Pride Center today to drop off some Zucchini Bread for Katie Webinger and Robert Moolman. It was a way to thank her for all her help and I just like Robert. He wasn’t in so I just left it on his desk.  Afterwards I went to Lowes to look at color samples for the bedroom. I thought that would save some time.

            I’ve finishing up my 1974 BYU journal and need to email it off to Daniel Cureton. I pulled everything out of the bedroom closets so we can pain them too. So I got a lot done but the house is a wreck.

            I received a letter in the mail from America First Credit Union that my mortgage failed to be automatically deducted from my checking account. That at first shocked me then I realized that I probably closed that account when I opened a higher yield savings account. I guess Monday I better get down there and straighten that out so I don’t get a late fee.

            I found a mini VCR player that I had bought a while ago that was still in the box so I hooked it up to the mounted front room TV. So now I can watch movies I have on VCR as well as Hulu and Netflix. I watched the last episode of A Hand Maids Tale for this season. It surely will have another season the way they left it hanging.

            Republicans need to stop blaming these daily mass shootings on mental illness and video games. These killers made conscious decisions to buy weapons to inflict as much pain and suffering as they could on people. They have made a choice to follow ideologies of death and destruction and white supremacy. They are no more mentally ill then the Nazis were. They are just plain evil. The Japanese play a hell of a lot more violent video games and they aren’t having massacres every day. Racists and evil crazies  having too easy of an access to assault weapons.

 

10 August 2019 Saturday

I heard the news this morning that Trump’s pal Jeffrey Epstein committed suicide while in a Manhattan Jail awaiting trial for sex trafficking underage girls to powerful and influential men. This stink to high heaven. Of course he was murdered to avoid him cutting a plea deal to name the rich and powerful. This also takes away news from the El Paso and Dayton massacres. Trump and Melania have been using these tragedies as photo opportunities all smiling and giving the thumb up. No one in El Paso wanted to be filmed with him so they brought the baby whose parents were murdered back to the hospital for a photo op. Disgusting human beings.

To lighten my mood I saw this on FB today: “Brunch without booze is just a sad, late breakfast-“ That is all I have these days is a sad breakfast.

I went and picked Kyle up at 12:30 this afternoon, which is  his new time I suppose and we went to the Lowes’ on 3^rd West and 13^th South to buy some paint. As that Lowes was having a 1 day 10 percent sale we bought a light fixture, the  linoleum as well as the paint for the bedroom and killz paint to cover the floor from 23 years of puppy accidents. I choose a color that was called “spring yellow”.. Kyle said my paint is yellow but it’s not its spring squash. I saved $50 but it cost $500 to redo the entire bedroom.

After taking Kyle back to Fortitude, I was looking through notebooks and papers I had stored in my closet.  I saw a couple of  pages written on note book paper from 50 years ago dated from July 20 through August 11.

 It's amazing that I still have these writings that I wrote when I was just 18 years old, a month out of high school and a month before college... I wrote about the moon landing but mostly going to the beach, Disneyland, San Diego, to the movies with John Cunningham...

It's strange to read what I did on this day 50 years ago when I was a California boy living at home with my mom and dad just beginning life as an adult. Who would have guess I'd end up in Salt Lake City, a retired school teacher, with 6 dogs, and receiving a life Time achievement award for being a Gay activist and record keeper for 35 years... It's been a strange journey... I always thought I'd be living either in Southern California or West Texas... but I love Salt Lake City and glad my journey will end here some day .

Also fifty years ago my parents began locking their doors at night, which we never did before. Why? Someone had murdered 4 people in the home of Sharon Tate and later the LaBiancas 50 years ago this week. It was not until months later did we hear about the Manson Family and their involvement in the crime spree.

In the evening I watched it’s a Mad Mad Mad Mad World I had on a VCR disk. It sure holds up well and it made me nostalgic for the California of my youth with all the places that seemed so familiar.

·         Kyle Foote See you tomorrow at 10. Thanks for being a great friend!

·         You are family to me Kyle... I hope you know that... see you at 10 tomorrow

 

11 August 2019 Sunday

I went to pick Kyle Foote up at 10 this morning but because of issues with the kitchen he wasn’t out until 10:15 and after stopping for drinks and getting a subway sandwich for lunch later it was nearly 11 before we were back at the house.  Because of the late start all that he was able to do was paint the corners of the room with primer before eating lunch and taking him back because he wanted to do some grocery shopping. His shopping day has been changed from Mondays to Sundays.

In the late afternoon I painted a wall and a half and a closet with Kilz paint but had to stop because Alan Anderson and Kyle Daniels came over to visit. They were up at this end of the valley because they when to Bountiful to pick up their Season U of U Football tickets from a friend there who gets them for Alan.

We had a nice visit and Alan was wondering if Kyle Foot knew how to install a ceiling fan and I said he certainly does and to talk to him this Saturday when we are at the Salt Lake Acting Company for Saturday Voyeur. Kyle Daniels is already back in school getting his class ready that starts in another week. So glad I am not doing that anymore.

After they left I just finished watching PBS American Experience Woodstock... wow my generation sure had some really beautiful people inside and out... now we all are 50 years older... I teared up when I saw that when the Festival ran out of food for the 450,000 kids there that the town of Bethel opened their cupboards and pantries and had a food drive to feed these kids. Some man said that they were hungry kids and we had to feed them. Would that even happen today? America is so divided and greedy.

Bill Poore said he finally got rid of the behemoth van today. He gave it to some kid named Shayden from his home town down in Carbon.

“They were both cute guys but for sure the upper level of white trash.  I really liked them  They talked to me about anything, the older brother’s girl friend...I told him to break up with her...I told him he didn't deserve to be abused like she was doing to him....really good looking guy.  I told him he could get pussy anywhere. Shayden said as we were leaving "this has been one of the best days of my life".  I not only gave him the van, I gave him 200 dollars to get the AC fixed....Their dad is in prison, guess what for?  He is in for fraud...several years.  I laughed....they said he would never change... You know I got so many "Great job" from so many people for helping Shayden...I promise you from the bottom of my heart I do it because I wanted to help him, also I want people see that it is ok to help other people out....that is it...but with all the “good jobs”, I did not get one from my family. My brother would never because it was not his kids. I don't need it but just don't understand them, that is all of them, Janice, Jeannie, Ross, Chris, Courtney, Justin, Ryan, Ben Thomas Marcus.....it is like I just don't matter...oh well. the only one I care about is helping Shayden...he was thrilled.”

 

12 August 2019 Monday

Buddy is sleeping for most of the day. He had the tremors on Saturday but seems to be okay now. We will just take it one day at a time. I picked Kyle Foote up at 10 and dropped him off at the house so I could go to America First Credit Union on Pioneer and 17^th South to get my mortgage payment straighten out. It was easier than I thought then went right over to the Redwood Clinic to get my 2nd Shingles shot down at the clinic. It was  $90 but cheaper than getting the shingles for sure.

            I was back at the house  a little after 11 this morning and Kyle began putting the primer on the walls and floor in the bedroom. I just stayed out of his way which is how he likes it.  When we were talking about my 401k account he said that I might be able to take out a loan against it so not to have to pay the exorbitant taxes on it. We will see tomorrow when Mike Romero and I go into see Tyler Ferguson.

 

13 August 2019 Tuesday

Mike Romero came over at 11:00 to go to Layton to see Tyler Ferguson my financial guy on how to let Mike borrow $30,000 to pay off his truck, trailer, and water heater bill. We were way early so we stopped down the street at Tasty donuts so Mike could buy some a half dozen. I had fixed a breakfast of waffles on my mini waffle maker so I wasn’t hungry.

            Our appointment was at noon and Tyler said that Camille Meriwether, who I used to work with at Orchard was the person he was seeing right before us. I would like to have said hi but oh well.

            I like Tyler and I trust him and it was good to catch up besides seeing how I am financially. What really blew my mind was that I had way more money than I initially thought. I get these statements all the time on my security account in which I thought I only had $67,000 which to me is a lot but then Tyler showed me that that I also had a fixed interest account of $85,500 so in actuality I have $152,000 in my 401k plan!.  I only made one withdrawal from it about 3 years ago that I had forgotten about when I sent Donna $5000 to satisfy her letting Charline have Mom’s house down in Arizona.

            Anyway Tyler said that taking out a loan against the $67,000 was the best option as then I wouldn’t have to pay taxes on the money until the government makes me start taking money out when I am 70 ½ years old which is about 2 years away now. The way it will work is that Michael will pay back the loan at $525 a month for 5 years through an automatic deposit. Tyler said actually I am also paying interest back to myself rather than a bank so the money is collecting some interest too. I guess if Mike dies before it’s paid off it will just be considered a withdrawal and I will pay taxes on the money that was left unpaid.  If I die, all that money will just go to my beneficiaries anyway.

            It was fun catching up with Tyler and I think Mike was impressed about how well He explained things and did not try to pressure you one way or another.  So other than having to come home and send Tyler a picture of a voided check,  that is all taken care of.

            Coming home we stopped at China Star in Bountiful because I was craving some Chinese Food but I was disappointed in the service and didn’t think my meal was all that good. I think the place has gone downhill or either I am losing my taste for certain foods in my senior years.

            I worked on sending Daniel Cureton copies of my 1974 Journal. I was so broke then that I think it had influenced me for most of my life that I would never have much money but here I am, paying a $780 a month mortgage on a house, owning 2 vehicles, no credit card debt that I can’t quickly pay off, no outstanding bills and an retirement income of about $2700 a month that more than enough meets my needs and I just found out that I have $150,000 in the bank minus the $30,000 I am loaning Mike. I loaned Mike $3000 a while back so he could pay his brother John some of the probate costs for the settlement of the Romero’s estate. I don’t expect to ever get that back but then I don’t really need it.  Why have money if not to make life easier for  you and the people you love?  As they say you can’t take it with you.

 

14 August 2019 Wednesday

I picked Kyle Foote up at Fortitude at 10:15 this morning which is his new schedule and brought him home. The bedroom floor needed another layer of Kilz paint so there was little we could do in there until it dried so Kyle asked if I wanted to go to see some houses in the Parade of Homes down in Daybreak. I said sure because I had nothing else to do. 

We saw two million and a half dollar homes and an 800,000 dollar home and while they were nice and all, I couldn’t imagine living in all that space. It was almost obscene when so many people are homeless. Even my tiny home is a luxury compared to most unfortunates in the world.

            Kyle said how he would like to remodel some of the downstairs and I told him finally how that I am leaving the house to Michael Romero and him to do whatever they want with it after I’m gone. I think he was truly surprised.  Some of the remodeling he said would probably be for a kind of portfolio for the career he wants to go into.

            When we were ready to return back to Fortitude I said to him I was taking him home and he said that Fortitude isn’t my home just the place I am temporary staying. It made me glad that he thought of Fernleaf as home.

            It got up into the 90’s today but I hear in the south there is a horrible heat wave. Here in the news Jim Dabakis barely squeaked by Luz Escamilla to come in 2^nd place to Erin Mendinhall in the Mayor’s Primary. That really surprised me because the polls all put him way out in the lead but there was a really small voter turnout. Kyle thinks Jim will have a hard time beating Erin because so many conservatives won’t either vote or won’t vote for Jim.  The Lesbian community, I know, threw their support to Erin because she’s not a man.

            In the evening I decided to buy a quart of paint to do the base boards in a slightly different hue to the walls. So I went to Sutherlands and bought some semi gloss paint for my baseboards to be a slightly different shade of “Spring Squash” The name of the color was “Warm Fuzzy” lol and yes it's a shade of butternut yellow.... so yellow is a warm fuzzy... I knew that.

 

15 August 2019 Thursday

Well it looks like Jim Dabakis got bumped to 3rd place in the primary. He would have been a great face for SLC and goodwill ambassador but with the inland port, the homeless shelter, unaffordable housing and a state government that hates the city for being Democrat he may have dodged a bullet. He lost to Luz Escamilla but a few hundred votes to come in 3^rd. He’s not going to contest it.. Well for sure Salt Lake City will have another female Mayor. I think I am voting for Luz, time for a Latina Mayor who will do more than lip service for the West Side where all the growth is going to be.

Also in the news Ed Smart, the father of Elizabeth Smart the kidnap victim came out publically as Gay. Most of the comments are like well “color me surprise duh!” I always thought he was a bit light in the loafer. Better late at 62 than never I suppose.

I went and picked up Kyle Foote at 10:15 this morning and delivered him to his Vocational Rehab counselor. He thought he was going to be there a lot longer but he was only there about an hour so I went and picked him up. He hadn’t brought any painting clothes so we went to Chubby’s for lunch. Since it was still lunch time the place was packed. I had seen it that packed and there were people waiting behind us even. 

We split a large combination plate and even then I brought a lot home. Afterwards since we still had some time we went to the Best Buy on 21^st South to get Kyle the computer he needed to do his classes on line. He knew exactly which one he needed and I said I’d buy it and he could reimburse me when his Pell grant money is deposited in his account.  However it was weird that my debit card was declined when I knew I had more money in my account than $1500 so I just used the Credit Card again that I had just paid off. However they didn’t have that computer in the store’s inventory do we will have to go pick it up this weekend down in Murray.

Kyle had to be back at 2:15 and I just came home and relaxed some. In the late afternoon I made two Chicken pot pies today and brought one over to Michael Romero when I took Coco home.

I was really surprised at the Primary election results that came out today. It looks like Jim Dabakis got bumped to 3rd place in the primary. He would have been a great face for SLC and goodwill ambassador but with the inland port, the homeless shelter, unaffordable housing and a state government that hates the city for being Democrat he may have dodged a bullet... I think I am voting for Luz, time for a Latina Mayor who will do more than lip service for the West Side where all the growth is going to be. Besides having a Mexican American mayor would really piss off the conservatives.  The voting was really low only about 25 percent of those who could and I think that contributed to the results. Jim trailed by only a couple hundred votes but he’s not contesting it.

 

16 August 2019 Friday

I was up at 2:30 this morning because of the rash on my hands was so itchy and I couldn’t sleep so I got up and finished the month of December 1974 to send off to Daniel Cureton. I want to send him an account of my BYU experiences from 1973-through 1976.  I did go back to bed about 4 and then was up at 7 because the dogs wanted me to get up.

The Precision Door guy came out about 9:30 this morning to bring new remotes out for the garage door opener. Kyle needed one for the truck and I had to replace Michael’s that was broken. He did a quick W2 40 spray of all the hinges to but all in all it was about $250.  So the remotes were nearly $100 a piece. 

I went out to America First Credit Union this morning to see what the phone call I had yesterday about a transaction going through. Evidently when I tried to pay for Kyle computer yesterday at Best Buy with my debit, the transaction was flagged because the amount was so much which was considered unusual. But the credit union made sure that I wasn’t charged twice for the purchase as I had put in on Credit Card instead.

            Then I came home to start painting the base board but at one point the paint can slipped from my hand and spilled paint on the deck. I cursed myself for being so inept and so I had to stop what I was doing and clean that mess up. It’s one of the reasons I hate painting so much.  Anyway afterwards I took the baseboards into the bedroom which I should have done in the first place and painted some of them in there but I am going to have to buy more paint since I spilled half of it.

            I was surprised to get a call from Kyle at 12:30 saying that his visit with his sisters was over. I thought they were taking him back to Fortitude so I started going down there but then he texted and said they were dropping him off at the house so I had to turn around.

            Kyle said the meeting with his sisters at Ruth Diner’s in Emigration Canyon was without any trauma and went will although he said that he is so estranged from them that he’s not sure what he has in common with his family anymore.

            Since he didn’t have to be back to Fortitude until 2:15 and his money for school came in, he used the computer to order $900 worth of books for his courses and then we decided to go to Verizon to get him a better phone. However he wanted to buy it out right but Verizon wouldn’t let him but only financed it.  So we went across the street to Costco where he bought the same phone only cheaper. However even they said he couldn’t pay if off for 15 days. Weird.

            As the time was nearly up we couldn’t finish all the transferring of data from his old phone to his new one. I rushed him back to Fortitude with just about a minute to spare then I had to rush home to meet Jim Dabakis.

Jim wanted to bring his Chihuahua named Taco over to see how he'd be around other dogs in case Jim brings him down to Mexico with him. He’s a sweet heart like TJ and got along swimmingly with my gang and even went down the porch deck steps into the yard like a trooper I think Jim was pleased as punch how well Taco did when my canine crew kind of overwhelmed him by saying howdy do. In fact I don’t think Taco was ready to go home but he had an appointment at the Vets at the Dog Park for all his shots in case he does go to Mexico.

I did tell Jim that I would  doggy sit Taco if he can’t take him because I didn’t want him not to be socialized left behind. Even though Jim has this guy named Steven Peterson who lives in the basement of his place on B Street it would be better for Taco to have lots of companionship so he wouldn’t feel abandoned.

Jim said off the record he was really disappointed by the lack of support from Chris Wharton and Derek Kitchens who threw their support behind Erin Mendenhall. Jim had supported them and even contributed money to their campaigns. I guess that generation has no concept of loyalty but then neither does Connell O’Donovan. I hate disloyalty when someone has been good to someone.

Well when Jim left I went back down to Costco with Kyle’s old phone so all the old plan could be transferred over as well as his data. However there was a computer glitz, with no one at fault but it took me about 45 minutes to get it all taken care of and was barely home before I had to take Coco home where I gave Mike his new garage remote.  He said he bought the mini waffle maker like the one I have and he’s crazy about it. I told him he would love it.

I fed the dogs and then had to go and pick Kyle up again. He told Fortitude that he was going running so I had to meet him at the 7-11 instead of picking him up there. He was surprised when I told him that his phone was all done because he thought we were going back down to Costco. So instead we went down to Murray’s Best Buy to pick up his new computer. I made him drive because I was tired of driving.

At Best Buy I was teasing Kyle about getting more colorful cases for his computer and phone as I know he likes more drab muted tones like gray, black or dark blue. I said don’t you want more color in your life and he said, “That’s why I have you!” That warmed my old heart for sure. I am still colorful person.

It was thinking today that for years I only saw Kyle once a month if that, and then for the past year I was seeing him every weekend but now I am seeing him nearly every day but next week that will slow down because he’ll be at the library a lot studying for his online classes at Indiana state.

We stopped at the park across from Raging Waters to eat our happy meals before he had to go back. A soccer game was going on the field and everyone of them were Africans. I knew they were Africans and not American blacks because their skin colorings were all jet black unlike most Americans of African descent. We have a large population of African Refugees here in Salt Lake but it was the first time I think I ever so many Africans gathered in one spot. The west side of Salt Lake is certainly a diverse population.  Kyle said that Craig Crawford really like Africans the darker the better and these guys were very handsome and athletic looking. Kyle made me laugh when he said that if Craig wouldn’t have killed John Williams he would be sitting in the park jacking off to all those good looking young black guys.

So when I came home I was really too tired to do much except go to bed about 9:30. It was a busy day for sure. Peter Fonda the son of Henry Fonda died today at the age of 79. Another Icon of the Counterculture gone.

 

17 August 2019 Saturday

We are still slowly working on my bedroom.  I picked Kyle up at 12:30 today so he can stay out late for Saturday Voyeur.  We first went to Lowes because he wanted to get a wood plane to keep my bedroom door from sticking and then to Wal-Mart to get some toiletries. It was super crowded there I suppose with back to school shopping.

Well, I guess I am going to have a cutie canine guest for a couple of weeks. Senior Taco will be a house guest at Club Med Fernleaf while Jim has a Rest and Recreation Vacation down in Old Mexico at his hacienda there. Jim Dabakis said senior Taco couldn’t get a passport lol TJ will have someone his own size to play with now. He will bring him over Monday morning before going to the airport.

Kyle got the ceiling painted white this afternoon but we went to get some Chinese food and called it quits so he could figure out his new phone and set up the computer. He set up an app to send me the $1500 to pay back the money for the computer.

I was excited to be going to Saturday Voyeur tonight but also I bet I am  the only one there tonight who actually can say they saw the original Saturday Warrior in 1974.  I wore my Woodstock Tee Shirt because this weekend is the 50^th Anniversary of the Aquarian Experience.

We left about 5:30 to go to Alan Anderson’s soiree at the Salt Lake Acting Company. I didn’t see as many people or from the Gay community this year. I did see Ron Hunt there and Becky Moss but that was about it.

Kyle Foote had a bit of anxiety being out around so many people and I guess anxious that someone might recognize him from what sent him to prison in the first place. I try to be understanding. I know it has to be really uneasy for him worried that he might be confronted by someone that he wronged. But as far as I am concerned he’s paid his debt. Kyle Daniels and Alan Anderson both said they liked him after  meeting him for the first time.

Saturday Voyeur was kind of uneven with all the Mormon stuff right on but some of the references to the “Dark Light” and being blind folded went over my head not being familiar with recent pop culture. I guess it referred to Sandra Bullocks Bird Box movie. My favorite part was the two actors who played Brigham Young and Joseph Smith as con artists.

Kyle Foote said as long as he was distracted by the musical he had a good time. Since he didn’t have to be back to Fortitude until 10:30 on the way back we stopped at Arby’s and ordered some milkshakes. Mine was really good but once back at the house it was too much and I had the dreaded dumping syndrome that kind of wipes me out. But all in all had a very nice August Summer day.

Not much in the news except Trumps constant lies and worries that we might be heading into a recession although the Trump administration won’t admit it.

18 August 2019 Sunday

I put a roast on this morning just in case Bill Poore remembered  that he was coming over for dinner but he didn’t which was just as well as that Kyle Foote and I painted the bedroom. He had me paint the lower corners while he did the top and then he painted all the bedroom except the closet doors. I am going to wake up each morning to a cheery mellow yellow... yellow makes me happy.

            I then took Kyle back to Fortitude at 2:15 just in the nick of time. Back home I made 5 mini loaves of some Zucchini bread and watched the Manchurian Candidate on the Criterion Channel. I  had never seen it all the way through before. Eerie that it was made the year before John F Kennedy was assassinated. 

 

19 August 2019 Monday

I got a little guest this morning named Senior Taco when Jim Dabakis brought him over at 8. He made himself at home at first but then he started looking everywhere for Jim. He will be fine. He’s just adjusting not being spoiled by Jim. He loves the jungle of my backyard and already peed and pooped so he’s not too weirded out by being here. Just whimpering a little, missing his daddy but I am sure he will soon be glad to be at the House of the Barking Dogs

Jim had brought Senor Tacos' blanket over with his scent on it and he knows how to get on the fold down so I think we will be packed in like the poor tonight at bed time... at least they’re not Great Danes lol

At 10:15 went to pick up Kyle Foote so he could go see a social worker therapist at the Pride Center at 11 this morning. I brought 2 loaves of Zucchini Bread down but since Robert Moolman was working from home, I gave both loaves to Katie Webinger

Then I went to make an appointment to get the Cruiser’s Oil changed but since they weren’t busy I was able to get it down while Kyle was the Pride Center. He was done by 12:15 so I took him down to the Glendale Library so he could get ready for his online classes tomorrow.  School actually started today for school kids which seemed to me early this year.

I painted the baseboards a second coat this afternoon. May be Friday we can lay the linoleum down.

At home Senior Taco is warming up to his Auntie by lying on my arm . He’s a good boy and adjusting to strange surroundings pretty well. When he does go home Jim will have to bring him back over for play dates with TJ.

I had Michael Romero come and pick up Coco and he will for the next couple of days until Taco gets more acclimatized to his new surroundings. He’s had enough new stimulus today.

Senior Taco ate with the rest of the pups. I was a little worried this morning when he wouldn't take a treat but his appetite came back and he ate his chopped pork loin like a champ.  He spent much of the evening in my lap just like TJ does.

 

20 August 2019 Tuesday

I painted  the closet doors in the bedroom today but that is about all I did in there. I did start organizing the scattered tools I have around the place in the garage. However other than didn’t do much today except make sure Senior Taco is doing well and adjusting.

            It was the first day back to school in Davis County although other districts started yesterday. Finally I am not having back to school weird dreams. Today was Kyle’s first day starting his on line classes for Indiana State.

            I went to the Rose Park Library and checked out a couple of DVRs to watch. They were Dead Pool and Dead Pool 2 about a Marvel anti-hero played by Ryan Reynolds. I could see why it was a hit among young men with all the mayhem but I thought the dialog was witty. I guess they made tons of money at the box office but nothing I would have paid to have gone to see.

            Bill Poore isn’t well. The doctors said he has some issues with his kidneys and they want to run a series of tests on him. I think he’s worried this time.

 

21 August 2019 Wednesday

It was a busy day. I fixed had biscuits and sausage gravy for breakfast and Senior Taco was a great help finishing up what I couldn’t. Then I decided to make two loaves of zucchini bread that I put in the freezer to share with folks later.

I typed up some of my old 1975 journal from January when my nephew Michael Wachs was born. It was not a happy time for me in my young life. Then before it got to hot I mowed the front yard, trimmed back some bushes and roses that had overgrown over the summer.

Bill Poore needed a ride to retrieve his van he was having some work done on but first we went to the Gay Men’s noon sack lunch just to visit. Charles Bigo and Richard Harmston said they weren’t moving to San Diego after all because it’s so expensive to live there and I think Richard really didn’t want to leave his family that is here in Utah. Of course Bill couldn’t get his hearing aids to work so I don’t know how much he got out of the group. It was a small crowd anyway.

 Since neither one of us had lunch Bill and I went to Charlie Chows for some hot and sour soup. I made the mistake of ordering a bowl instead of a cup so I had to take a lot of mine home.  After having lunch, he called about the van and it was finally ready so I took him there and he said just to leave rather than wait.

So then I came home put some seasoned chicken thighs in the oven. TJ and Taco sat in my lap while I took a nap until I got up and made some chicken gravy with carrots and peas from the chicken drippings. The pups didn’t seem to care for it. Oh Well.

Michael Romero came over again to pick up Coco. I didn’t want to take Taco yet in the car because not sure how he will react.  Mike said he was rear ended today while in the company truck by some kid with no driver’s license, and no insurance but he said the responding police officer was cute.

Kyle Foote’s schedule was weird and he was out at 5:30 this evening and I brought him to the house to finish up some painting. Tomorrow is lay the linoleum down day. Some days are busier than others. Kyle was here until 9:30 so it seemed strange to out at night with him way past both our bedtimes.

This is life being friends with Bill Poore. He wrote this on his facebook page  "So I go to lunch with my friend Ben and few other friends. I took my hearing aids with me knowing that I would need them and of course Ben yelling at me to put them in...I attempted to get the batteries and little control box working but just could get them to work for me....so I took them out and went without them. When I got home I was putting them away and noticed that I had actually taken an old pair, the brand new pair was in the box they came in....flesh toned nice and new...My friend Ben told me he was going to make me bring a picture of my new ones so he can check that I have the correct ones....oh well I didn't miss that much anyway, well most of the conversation but what else is new."

I heard Robintino’s Italian Restaurant in Bountiful closed. They had been business since 1964. I only ate there a few times but each time I enjoyed it. I know once Karen Fisher, Susan McCoy, and I all ate there to plan for our 6^th Grade year at Orchard Elementary.

 

22 August 2019 Thursday

I went to the America First to check my balance and to see if the money from my 401k had been deposited yet and it hadn’t but the balance in my checking and savings was only $1200 each  when I know I have $13,000 in the higher yield savings account. I will have to go and figure out what is going on because I think the my Social Security check is being deposited in my old account. In the mail Kyle Foote’s repayment check of $1500 came so I need to deposit that so I can pay off my credit card. Kyle saw his credit scores today and they had jumped up to almost 700 since he’s been out since June. He was justifiable excited because he said they were the highest they have ever been and he received them honestly.

            I picked Kyle up at 8 this morning with a little bit of a hassle because the guards couldn’t find his paper work releasing him to me. They finally did but will be so glad when Kyle is done with this nonsense. I saw in the news some woman stole $100,000 and was only given 3 years of probation! Didn’t even have to go to prison while Kyle served 8 years. There’s no justice in Utah. It’s a matter of what religion you are and how much influence you have.

            Anyway, Kyle had to be at his Vocational Rehab at 1 this afternoon so we had to get to work right away. I painted the closet doors in the garage while he installed the new overhead light fixture and laid down the linoleum. It’s a oak wood grain pattern and looks really nice.

            After Kyle left I was super tired and just rested, napped, and watched a little TV with Taco and TJ in my lap. Like a klutz I accidently knocked over a large glass of root beer onto the lounge chair. I think I have to blame it on being old and tired.

            Michael Romero came over to get Coco since the garage was full of doors drying when Kyle came home. He had to take an aptitude test and all kinds of hoops at his meeting today.

            When It was time to take him back to Fortitude we first stopped at Arby’s because he hadn’t really eaten today. I had a Gyro that was good but had to take home to finish it. I watched a silly series about Vampires called What We Do in the Shadows that had some clever writing.

            It was kind of smoky today and humid with some fire down in Santequin but fortunately we haven’t had that many fire this year even through it’s been dry without any rain in the state that past 13 days. I guess the Amazon forest is burning up. What a world we are leaving behind.

 

23 August 2019 Friday

I had a restless sleep again from mosquito bites/ The mosquitoes for some reason are bad this year and they seem to really come in at night when I am sleeping. I had some disturbing dreams too so I finally just got up and slept in the lounge chair  but then TJ and Taco had to come and curl in my lap.

            I had to pick Kyle Foote up at 8 so he could attend an appointment at the U of U for his PrEP pills. I took him back to the house so he could use the truck and then he’ll go to the library to study for his online classes.

            Later in the morning I went to America First Credit Union on Pioneer and 17^th South to figure out was going on with my accounts. As I suspected I have two savings account, one a regular one and one a higher yielding interest one where my $13,000 is hiding. I also deposited the check from Kyle for $1500 and paid off the balance on the Visa credit card.

            I was in the mood for cookies so this morning I made some oatmeal cookies. I am kind bored and feel a bit in limbo with the house in disarray. It will be Sunday before Kyle will come back over to install the doors again and put back on the base boards.

            I didn’t do a whole lot more today out of the house. I did order two red shag runner carpets for the bedroom and looked on line for what type of beds that are out there.

            Kyle came back from studying at the library and I had Mike Romero come and get Coco because the garage is still full of doors. I gave him half of the oatmeal cookies, a fall of a ham and cheese subway sandwich, some plums, I couldn’t eat, and some nut mix I could also no longer eat because can’t grind them with my molars anymore. Oh well. He said he’s go with me to the Farmers Market and IKEA tomorrow while I browse around for a new bed.

            I finished the last episode for this season on the Hand Maid Tale and finished watching What We Do in the Shadows a mock documentary about some dysfunctional vampires who live in Staten Island.

Bill Poore’s VA said his kidneys are only up to 1/3 of what they should be and she is not sure why. They did an ultra sound, and the blood work yesterday. He thinks it is all related to diabetes but he does have a history of Hep B, Hep C, and A. He said he used to give blood in NYC that they used in the Hep B vaccine during the late 1970’s when it first came out. They paid him like one hundred fifty dollars every two weeks. He said it was a nice amount of money until when they stopped using it.

The old Billionaire Bastard David Koch died. I hope he's good and dead, the lying climate denying neo conservative son of a bitch. I hope he's fed his billions in hell. He and his brother have financed the absolute disaster the rich have contributed to the destruction of this planet and our democracy.

 

24 August 2019 Saturday

Mike Romero and I went to the Murray farmers market this morning to buy a Green River Watermelon and some fresh corn before heading down to IKEA. I’m looking for a low bed that the pups can jump into without wanting me to assist them up. We also went over to RC Willey’s but everything at there was so tall and the mattresses so deep that you’d need a step ladder to climb up onto. I want a lower bed so pups can jump up into bed with little effort. I think I found what I am looking for at IKEA but I won’t buy it until the Bedroom is finished.

I was back home by noon and  I fixed dinner for Mike and Bill Poore. It was a Sunday pot roast but on Saturday. LOL. I made mashed potatoes, brown gravy, green beans with bacon, yellow squash from the garden, fresh corn I cut from the cob, crescent rolls, and we had watermelon for dessert.

Bill wanted to come over to meet Taco. Jim Dabakis is going to have to hire a cook just for Taco because he’s getting used to supper at the House of the Barking Dogs. I told him that when he called this evening to see how Taco was doing.  I guess he will be home on September 7^th.

I sent Mike and Bill both home with leftovers from dinner and gave Bill a loaf of zucchini bread. At his age and health why not? We aren’t sticking around forever. I gave Michael some oatmeal cookies so he had plenty of sweets..

When everyone left I took a well deserved nap with TJ and Taco who are becoming pals.  After feeding the gang I just watched some shows on HULU and  Netflixs. I watched two entirely different genres. I first watched Walt Disney’s Princess and the Frog and then Quinton Tarratino’s “Inglourious Basterds”. I always heard of that movie but never saw it until now. I think it’s way more relevant today with the rise of Nazi’s in America than it was when it came out 10 years ago.

Kyle Foote texted me saying that he’s behind on some of his homework and asked if he could just work on his studies tomorrow instead of hanging the doors. I said sure.

The Roman city of Pompeii was destroyed in 79 AD on this day... I think one of my reincarnations was a slave boy toy from that time... lol

 

25 August 2019 Sunday

I picked up Kyle Foote at 10:15 and brought him to the house so he could use the WiFi here to work on his classes. The library doesn’t open until 1 on Sundays so that is why he came here. I left him alone and worked on typing up February 1975 from my journal. What a messed up time in my life.

            After taking him back to Fortitude I came back home and decided I would paint the bedroom door leading out to the deck rather than wait until Kyle to do it. I had some Warm Fuzzy paint left over so I painted the door that color rather than the white I was going to do. After all I am a colorful person.

            Other than that didn’t do much else or heard from anyone.  I guess the Amazon Rain Forest is burning up. That is horrible news because the Brazilian Fascist President isn’t doing anything about it.

Some GOP Mormons believe you can’t be a good Mormon and be a Democrat. Well certainly you can't be a Republican and a good Christian. They worship a man who has broken nearly all the 10 commandments; taking the Lords name in vain, committing adultery, lying, and coveting, as well breaking the Christian value of doing unto others as you would have them do unto you. "“Woe to you hypocrites! ...you have neglected the more important matters of the law—justice, mercy and faithfulness."

 

26 August 2019 Monday

I went and picked Kyle Foote up to take him to the Pride Center for his counseling appointment with Aaron Higley but we learned that Higley had canceled after we had got there. I visited with Robert Moolman just briefly after giving him some zucchini bread but didn’t want to take up too much of Kyle’s time because I dropped him off at the Glendale Library so he could use his time doing his classroom.

            I painted the bedroom door another coat of paint so that is done.  I’ve been looking on line for a headboard for the bed I am going to get but so far haven’t seen anything I liked. I think I will have to go look in person.

            This evening I watched  a couple of episodes of the Simpsons and then saw that Hulu has put on their site the 1980’s show Designing Women, which featured Delta Burke and Dixie Carter which is such a cleverly written feminist show.

 

27 August 2019 Tuesday

I had a very restless night again due to mosquitoes getting into the house and biting me when I tried to sleep so I got up around 2 and was up until 3 in the morning. I don’t know why they are so bad this year when it’s been so dry. When I did finally get up I typed up more of my 1975 Journal beginning now in March. The mid 1970’s was not a happy time for me.

            I went down to Sunderland’s and bought new floor register for the bedroom and moved my clothes bureau back into out of the movie room. I am getting tired of feeling like I am camping out in my own home.

            I made 7 mini loaves of Zucchini bread and I still have two huge zucchini’s. I will probably bring them to Deb Hall tomorrow because visiting with her yesterday at the Pride Center she said that her garden wasn’t producing very many and she’s a vegetarian.

            I put on a pot roast so when I went to pick up Kyle Foote at 5:30 from Fortitude I made him a dinner of buttered squash, fresh corn, potatoes and gravy, Crescent rolls and of course the pot roast. When I said that the potatoes was instant he said that was the only kind his mom made so he said the dinner was like home. LOL.  He worked finishing cutting and  laying linoleum in the closets and tacked back on all the baseboards. He also put on new weather stripping around the door leading to the balcony deck.

            When he was done with that we went back to Lowes to buy a cable to rewire that modem so it will be in the bedroom instead of the front room, a new smoke alarm, and other incidentals.

            Before taking him back to Fortitude we stopped at Arctic Circle on 17^th and 5^th East where we got a soft serve ice cream cone before heading back.

            I was super tired today. I think the lack of a good night rest is catching up with me. I stayed up and watch a couple of more episodes of Designing Women on Hulu one of the better shows to come out of the late 1980’s.

 

28 August 2019 Wednesday

 I slept with a long sleeve sweat shirt and gloves on to keep the Mosquitoes from attacking me but then Buddy was so restless about 2 in the morning waking me up. Rather than try to fall back to sleep I just got up, sat in the Recliner and played this game on the tablet called Word Play where you have to unscramble 6 letters to find words. It helps stimulate my mind I think and keeps my brain thinking.

            I picked up Kyle Foote from Fortitude and dropped him off at the Glendale Library so he could work on his classes and I went looking for headboards at Wal-Mart and Target. They actually didn’t have anything in the store so I guess everything they have is on line.  At noon I went to the Gay men’s Sack Lunch at the Pride Center and there was a pretty good turn out and I was surprised that Bill Poore actually came without me taking him. I brought Zucchini Bread loaves to share. I brought two large zucchinis also that I wanted to give to Deb Hall but she was out of the building for 2 days at some SAGE conference. I gave Charles Bigo and Richard Harmston a loaf, TJ and Jim McMillan a loaf, and Paul Milne a loaf. I had cut one up to share but no one seemed as interested as those guys. I gave the remainder of the cut up bread to Kevin Ball the front desk guy.

            I went back down to Glendale to give Kyle a ride back so he wouldn’t have to lug his back pack that is weighed down with his books and computer.  Then I spent the rest of day back at the house.

            I really need to mow my lawn and do some yard work but I almost feel paralyzed with the house being in disarray.

            This evening I watched some more “Designing Women” episodes and “Mom” just to unwind.

Hmmm this explains why I make so many zucchini bread loaves lol..."Baking for others can increase a feeling of wellbeing, contribute to stress relief and make you feel like you’ve done something good for the world, which perhaps increases your meaning in life and connection with other people."

 

29 August 2019 Thursday

The mosquito repellant I bought seems to have worked because I wasn’t bitten last night. I went and checked Kyle Foote out of Fortitude this morning. It’s my job these days. He came back to the house and did a little work in the bedroom before he had his 9:30 appointment at the Pride Center. He didn’t return to the house until noon after getting another haircut. I made us lunch of Sheppard Pie that I had made last night then we went to work in the bedroom again. He caulked the baseboards and repainted them and hung the closet doors and the bedroom door.  So the bedroom is now finished except for my moving stuff back in and re-hanging my pictures. I fixed us some Tostados for dinner and then checked him back in at 6.

            I saw that the phone bill was $186 last month but some of that was a $40 hook up fee.

            Before going to bed I set the twin bed back up to sleep on. It’s better than sleeping on the IKEA couch I have been.

 

30 August 2019 Friday

I must have had a delayed reaction to school starting back up because I dreamed that Susan McAdams, Ben McAdams mom, and I were job sharing a classroom of new students. I had a pretty good sleep in the new bedroom on the twin bed I put back in the room but I know it’s time for a full size again because of all the pups who want to sleep with me. The power must have went off last night for some reason. In the news this morning there’s a wildfire in the foothills of Bountiful that burned 2 homes and threatening more that started last night.

More sad news, as it was posted on Face book that Bob Waldrop lost his battle to cancer in Oklahoma City. Bob Waldrop passed away today. He was pastor of Salt Lake MCC in the late 70s, publisher of the Open Door, head of the Salt County Libertarian Party, and I considered him a friend. He was a Gay activist during his time in Utah and was instrumental in pioneering our community 40 years ago. I called him a couple of weeks ago but he was too weak to really talk. He wanted to come to SL and asked if he could come and stay with me but he evidently took a turn for the worse with his cancer. Bobby Max was one of a kind and fought to make the world more just. He confirmed Bruce Barton was a member of the MCC. He also led the charge to find out who murdered Tony Adams, instrumental in stopping the Mormon Church from having their dances in the state Rotunda and popularized the saying "Legalize Adulthood in Utah. He was quite the character.

Valerie Harper passed away at the age of 80...RIP She played Rhoda on the Mary Tyler Moore sitcom from the 1970’s. I always like her bohemian way of dressing.

I feel so sorry for BYU right now... the Lord has abandoned them ... I can hear the wailing and gnashing of teeth in Provo, all the way up here in Salt Lake... so Sad all the testimonies given for naught. BYU lost the Holy War against the Utes football team for the 9th year in a row.

I gathered a lot of clothes out of the closet and kitchen and some furniture to donate to Deseret Industries this morning so I swung by Fortitude to give Kyle Foote a ride down to the Glendale Library as he has a heavy backpack and it’s a mile and a half long walk in the heat.

Back at the house I started putting the curtain back over the door that leads to the deck and cleaning up the movie room. I've also thrown out 40 years of genealogy notes and files that I accumulated that I will no longer use as I have put all that I am going to do on line.

Michael Romero took his camper for the Labor Day Weekend but I’d rather stay home and get my house back in order.

I watch three Abbott and Costello movies tonight, A Night at the Tropics which was their debut movie, Buck Privates, and in the Navy before finally heading to bed.

 

31 August 2019 Saturday

I hope everyone will have a wonderful and safe Labor Day Holiday. Please don't start any fire. Labor Day traditionally marks the end of summer although officially it ends on 21 September with the Autumn Equinox. It’s going to be in the mid 90's all weekend so stay hydrated and if you are a Republican no thanks to you that we have a 40 hour work week and labor laws and collective bargaining. Screw you.

I went down to Fortitude at 10 this morning to give Kyle Foote a ride but his supervisor Jessup forgot to enter his time out again so he had to remain there today. He later sent me a message that tomorrow, his time might change to 1230-430 instead of 1015-215.  I know that had to be frustrating for him. I was down there anyway because I dropped off more items to donate to Deseret Industries.

 So I cleaned out closets, drawers, and cabinets of stuff I haven't looked at in years and won’t again. I've brought two truckloads of clothes, household items and small furniture to DI and filled up two big trash bins with tax records back to 1997 and 40 years of genealogical research notes. I am giving DI a lot of books that I don’t look at anymore and will give other stuff to the gay archives... I might as well start downsizing now instead of waiting for it all to go in the garbage when I'm dead... but what a chore looking and wading through it all.

It was hot again today almost 100 degrees so that I why I wanted to give Kyle a ride. The weatherman said this was the 6^th hottest August  recorded in Utah and we haven’t had a drop of rain in 22 days.

I love being home and watching the pups play...Taco is having a duel to the death with Mr. Rabbit... I am so easily amused

 

SEPTEMBER

1 September 2019 Sunday

I fell asleep in the lounge chair last night binge watching episodes of MOM the  CBS sitcom, with Anna Faris and Allison Janney. I enjoy the A.A. recovery lessons the show promotes as well as being funny. When I woke up I went into my bedroom and slept in the twin bed. It’s not practical with 4 dogs wanting to sleep with me but it’s better than sleeping in the front room.

            I started writing my lecture for Wednesday Presentation on 1995 when the power went out so I gave up and just went back to straightening up the bedroom and movie room before going down to pick up Kyle at 12:30. That will be his new time from 12:30 to 4:30 because the morning cook was sent back to prison for trying to smuggle drugs in his shoe. He only had 30 days before he was to be released also.  So now there are only 2 cooks there Kyle and this kid named Zane and Kyle has to do the breakfast shift and help prepare the lunch. His Thursday days off might shift also after this week to noon until 10 at night. Oh well it is what it is.

            I thought Kyle might have wanted to study today but instead he wanted to take me to IKEA to buy my bed and headboard. While Kyle driving the Sonoma on I 215 a truck kicked up a rock that smashed where I was sitting on the passenger seat showering me with slivers of glass but the window didn’t break out otherwise I would have been hit smack in the face. Weird, how quickly that accident happened with no time to prepare for the impact that nearly put a hole in the windshield. Well that’s $300 to replace. Back at the house Kyle made an appointment for Tuesday for me to take the truck  down and have  the windshield replaced.

            We continued on to IKEA, what else we could do, where I bought a mattress, box springs, and head board for about $500 but after bringing it home we ran out of time before Kyle had to go back.

            After feeding the dogs, I was much too tired to do anything else so just watched the rest of the 6^th Season of MOM and then tried to find some new programs but couldn’t get into them so I went to bed early about 9:30. 

            So begins September and it was hot today nearly 100 degrees but I am grateful that the accident wasn’t worse. If it would have broken through the windshield it would have hit me smack in the head and the force would have killed me for sure. It was a huge stone at least 2 inches.

 

2 September 2019 Monday Labor Day

I had a weird dream where Elizabeth Warren was in it so does that mean I should vote for her for President? I woke up around 5:30 this morning and decided to get up because I have a lot to do especially start writing up my report on 1995. When I was up I couldn’t find Buddy in the house so I took a flashlight and went outside and he was downstairs by the side of the garage. He’s truly has dementia now. How he gets down stairs by himself is strange in of its self. Who knows how long he was out there. Poor old boy.

Well it's official. I can either work in the house or work in the yard but I can't do both any more... too old. I have kind of neglected my yard for the past couple of weeks while redoing my bedroom so I really needed to mow and cut back some overgrowth especially on the south side where the Virginia Creeper was spreading out across the sidewalk. While cutting back the overhanging trumpeter vine I was stung in the finger by a wasp. Ouch. I did all this in the morning and it was still hot outside. It was 100 degrees yesterday and 98 today; breaking records for September. At least gas prices are coming down. I paid $2.56 at the Maverick down by Sapp Brothers on 13^th South

I also cleaned out the slivers of glass all over my passenger seat and dash board.. I am so lucky that none on the shards hit my eyes because the rock smashed right in front of my face. I have little pin prick cuts on my knee where some of the glass flew. I have a crater in my windshield not just a cracked windshield. Getting it fixed tomorrow. There goes $300 ... oh well

I picked Kyle Foote up at 12:30 and took him back at 4:30. He seemed really tired today I think from being the morning cook now and there just being the two of them now. He was behind on his calculus class since he didn’t get to work last Saturday and we were busy Sunday so I just let his work on his computer the entire time he was here. Because it was Labor Day the library was closed.

Later in the evening he messengered me that he felt caught up enough to come over tomorrow and do some work in the bedroom.

I watched some episodes of Designing Women before going to bed. I didn’t realize that the series was from 1986..

 

3 September 2019 Tuesday

I was up at 6:30 to make some coffee and check on Buddy. I couldn’t find him but he trapped himself behind the lounge chair by the bay window seat. Poor guy couldn’t see his way out so I carried him downstairs to potty in the yard. Poor babe must really have dementia now.

            I left the house at 7 to get the windshield replaced and once on the freeway I noticed my low fuel light was on so I immediately got off the Freeway and filled up at the Maverick on 7^th North and Redwood at $2.71 a gallon. I was so worried that I might run out of gas before getting there and I think I would have if I hadn’t paid attention. It took 16 gallons and the Sonoma barely holds 19 gallons.  After putting $40 in the tank I drove into the City to Safellite Windshield Repair on 5^th South and 3^rd West at 7:30 only to find that my appointment wasn’t really an appointment but simply an all day drop off! As I had no way to get picked up because Mike Romero is still on vacation I just made a real appointment for them to come out to the house next Monday because they were so booked up!

            I was almost in a wreck getting back on the Freeway when some California driver cut off a Utah driver which made the Utah drive tail gate him when then the California driver slams on his brakes which almost made me rear end the Utah Driver who swerved into another lane almost sideswiping another car. Jack asses.

            I picked up Kyle Foote at Fortitude at 12:30 this afternoon and brought him back to the house as he said that he was caught up enough with school work so he wanted to put my bed together. He also worked on the headboard but we needed some hardware to attach it to the wall. I had bought a pizza at Papa Murphy for lunch. Before taking him back we went to Lowes and there I came across Kim Russo who was buying some lumber. We visited a little bit while Kyle went to find what he needed.

            When Michael Romero came home in the afternoon he said that he had a guy who’d come out on Thursday to replaced the windshield in the truck so I cancelled my appointment with Safelite Glass.

 

4 September 2019 Wednesday

I worked a lot on my presentation this morning before going down to pick Kyle Foote up from Target so he could be back at Fortitude by 11.  Since there’s only 2 cooks there now and the other cook had his home visit today Kyle had to have his time out from 7 to 11. Since the Library was closed he walked down to Target to use the Wi-Fi there at Starbucks to do his school work.

            Before picking him up I went to Wal-Mart to buy a mattress cover for the new bed and a rug for the room and some curtains. I also checked my credit union and saw that the 30,000 dollars was in my account so at noon I met Michael Romero at the Pioneer Branch of America First and had the money transferred into his account so he can pay off his camper, his truck, and the water heater he had to install recently.

            Back home I made some Ginger Snap cookies for tonight and printed out my report. I was down at the center by 6:30 for the meeting that started at 7. At first I thought we would have a small bunch but we ended up with about 15 or more people. One person named Megan Garcia was new but the rest were mostly my faithful groupies. I was rather tired but folks enjoyed the presentation I believe.

            David Andresen came, who hadn’t for a while, and he said something that I found interesting that he didn’t feel like the community center, while wonderful and all, just didn’t feel like it’s very supportive of Gay men and that it was all about Trans folks. I just said well things evolve but if David, who is very progressive, feels that way I imagine many others do also.

Some of the folks went to Coachman Diner for dinner afterwards but I just wanted to get home to the hounds and I was in bed by 9:30. Another warm day in the mid nineties but its suppose to cool down by the weekend. 

 

5 September 2019 Thursday

I had to pick Kyle Foote up at 8 for his home visitation day. He had an appointment at Weber State at 9:30 and an appointment with his counselor at the Pride Center at noon so he took the Cruiser instead of the truck. I didn’t see him  again until 1 this afternoon and then we went to Chubby’s for some lunch. He did some school work for the rest of the time at the house so we didn’t do anything to the bedroom before taking him back to Fortitude by 6.

            The window repair guy came to the house about 9 this morning and replaced the windshield on the truck for $190 compared to what Safelitte Glass was going to charge $320. So that was taken care of.

            Then Rich Butler came over at 10 and wanted to just visit so he stayed until 1 in the afternoon and that tied up most of my day so didn’t get a whole lot done. It was hot again today in the low 90’s. My garden is so dried up and even my fruit trees are not producing much.

            In the news Hurricane Dorian hit the Bahamas and Trump made a fool of himself drawing with a sharpie a line on a weather map showing the hurricane was going to impact Alabama which it wasn’t. It would be funny if it wasn’t so scary that he’s insane.

 

6 September 2019 Friday

Up at 4:30 looking for Buddy who wasn't in the house. Went outside with a flashlight and him found at the bottom of the steps leading to the garage. I carried him back up and thought no more of it until Michael dropped Coco off at 7 and was carrying Buddy again up the steps. He found him where I had at the bottom the deck leading into the garage. He can’t go down by himself when I am awake but somehow he wanders off down on his own. I know the old boy has dementia but he still is eating when not sleeping. Sad to see your pups decline but he isn't in pain that I can tell. I am glad he was brought back in before the morning showers we had.

            I worked on the computer sending this Chicago Affirmation kid information I had on sodomy in Nauvoo involving the city's mayor John C Bennett and his young protégé. Frank Higbee. Then I condensed it from the 76 page paper I wrote about how Joseph Smith's trying to hide his sexual escapades doomed him and posted that on my Stonewall History site.

            In the afternoon I made another drop off of stuff to Deseret Industries, mostly  books, and then gave Kyle Foote a  ride down to the Glendale Library. From there I went to Wal-mart and bought a new Toaster Oven, a regular toaster and some shag rugs for the dogs to lay on.

            I made some chili today because this morning the temperature had dropped during the hard rain but by the afternoon it hard warmed back up to almost 90 again. I made some cornbread to go with it and baked it in the new Toaster oven and it baked it just fine.

I bought us tickets to “Wait, Wait Don’t Tell Me” for Kyle’s Birthday and Christmas. Yes they were pricey nearly $300 at the Eckles Theater for Thursday October 24th. I went with Thursday because Friday was almost twice as  much. Go figure. The tickets will be mailed to the house by the 22^nd of October. It's the 20th anniversary so who knows who the guests will be but I know Kyle really enjoys Paula Poundstone, Tom Bodette, and Mo Rocca!  It seemed hard at first to spend so much on a show but then I am making up for a lot of missed birthdays with Kyle.

 

7 September 2019 Saturday

I was waiting to hear from Jim Dabakis today about Taco but didn’t hear a thing but that was okay because I am going to miss him when he really goes home. I just become so attached to that little guy.

            I spent most of the day going through papers and stuff in the movie room I’ve saved over the year and tossing things that I really don’t need any more or that I don’t want. While going through stuff to throw out and I found my graduation announcement and diploma from 50 years ago ... back before I changed my name to Ben in 1972. I went down to retrieved my diplomas from below the stairs and found that mice had nibbled at the cases but the diplomas themselves were safe. I posted a picture of the on line. I also found drawings I did from high school when  I was in an art service class my Senior year at Rancho. I saved a drawing of our class Mexican character mascot that I had to draw it for some project. I Can't member why... we were the Vaqueros of Rancho 50 years ago it didn't seem so racist to draw a Mexican in a Poncho lol... I added the flower out of his toes ... well just because of flower power in 1968.

            I bought a fabric picture at DI today of 4 African women holding baskets on their heads. It done in a batiking style and I put it over the head of the bed.  While at DI I also bought some linen shirts that were medium in size. I can hardly believe I wear a medium now after all this time.

 

8 September 2019 Sunday

Well it took a month, tearing up the carpet, painting, laying down linoleum, buying a new bed for me and the pups and rewiring so I could put the computer in my bedroom out of the front room but Kyle and I got it all done today. I think the pups are happy and I am happy I can mop up their little accidents... now we can all sleep together again.

            It rained really hard this morning with thunder and lightning and it did off and on all day. I picked Kyle up at 12:30 this afternoon and I fed him homemade chicken noodle soup and a BLT sandwich with Tomatoes from the garden. Kyle started rewiring the cable to the outside for the modem for the Wi-Fi but then it started raining again so we just worked hanging the headboard on the wall for the bed. When it stopped we finished wiring the modem and I moved the desk and computer into my bedroom out of the front room so the house is almost the way I want it now.

            Kyle wanted to go to Verizon to pay off his phone since he had a MasterCard sent to him and while there I undated our plan to unlimited dated for $120 a month which at least its set now and I don’t have to have any surprises of running over as that Kyle lives on his phone as younger people do.  It down poured cats and dogs again while we were at Verizon but soon cleared up. The rain was welcomed and really cooled things down.

 

9 September 2019 Monday

I spent a lot of the morning finishing typing up April 1975 from my journal when I was engaged to Linda Prindle. The 1970’s was mostly a very unhappy time in my life, suppressing my true nature by being a Mormon boy.

            This guy Steven Wood who was interested in the tool shed last June called today and wanted to know if it was still available and I said sure so I am hoping he will come out this Wednesday or Thursday to haul it away.

            Its amazing how attached Taco is to Mike Romero. When I take Coco home, Taco nearly crawls out the window to get into Mike’s arms. We are really going to miss the little sweetheart.

            I really didn’t do much today although it was pretty out and in the mid 70’s. I brought a bag of tomatoes from the garden over to my Mexican Neighbors who bought the Gile’s place. They are more than I can ever eat and I am sure they will enjoy them.

 

10 September 2019 Tuesday

I worked on my May 1975 journal until 10 this morning then I went outside and worked cleaning up the north side of the yard by the garage. I cleaned up a lot of yard debris and moved the pee stained carpet out of the way if Steve  Wood comes this week to take the shed. I also moved tools and a shelf that were below the deck into the garage so they won’t be so weathered. I need to do more but was tuckered out so at noon I came in to fix some lunch. I had baked a frozen pizza when Jim Dabakis showed up.

            Taco went home with his daddy and he was so excited to see Jim Dabakis so I am happy for the reunion. I am trying not to be sad because I know he'll be back for me to take care of when Jim and Steve take their many trips. In fact I may have him this weekend when they go up to Jackson Hole, Wyoming. Taco Belle is such a good, sweet heart dog.

            Jim stayed and we visited for almost 2 hours about the end of the Utah Stonewall Center and the beginning of the Gay and Lesbian Community Center of Utah when he became very involved with it. He was a little fuzzy about what transpired before he became involved. It began to rain while we visited with lightning and thunder. One loud thunder clap nearly shook the house. I knew it was suppose to rain tomorrow but the heavy rain this afternoon was a surprise.

            Jim Dabakis, who has always been a moderating voice of reason to me said something that kind of surprised me when we were talking about the Pride Center now and we both agreed we love the job Rob Moolman is doing however he said about the transsexuals down there that there is no pleasing them no matter what you do to accommodate them. They will always criticize and complain that it’s never enough.

            Well gender identity is not the same issue as sexual orientation and I think the two is like oil and vinegar. No matter how you shake it up to blend for a salad, they will eventually separate.

            Jim brought over this huge $22 rack of pork ribs. I have no idea what he thought I would be able to do with it but in the evening I made a BBQ rub and rubbed it down to let set over night and I will oven bake it tomorrow I suppose and give some to Michael.

            I paid half of my Lowe’s $500 bill today. I could have paid all of it off but I’ve had extra expenses like replacing the windshield and other things so want to pay more in installments.

            I didn’t hear from Kyle Foote until this evening and I said I’d take him to the library tomorrow because it is suppose to rain.

Best news of the day is that the War Hawk John Bolton  was either fired or resigned depending on who you asked from being trump’s Security Advisor.  Trump has had more personnel changes in his 3 and half years than the previous 5 presidents all together. He must think he’s still on a reality show.

            Bill Poore wrote me that he’s feuding with Nikki Boyer. He wrote “So I really attacked Nikki on one of James post about his future...maybe I might go back and delete it...I said she should retire to her cabins in the mountains...that we ran to support Jackie Biskupski and then Nikki turned her back on Jim saying it was about issues not gender...bullshit. I will work against any of Nikki's choices and very verbally on face book...and Pride posts. Fuck the bitch. Fuck it I am going to leave the post....someone needs to tell the bitch to shut the fuck up...it is all about pussy to her and nothing more...pot smoking bitch.”

            I wrote him back “Tell me how you really feel lol ... Jim Dabakis came and picked up Taco and we had a good visit... I was surprised when he bad mouthed the Trannies saying they are never happy with whatever you do for them.”  He replied “He’s no longer running for office so he can tell the truth...he is totally correct about the Trannies....they should not even be part of our community.....theirs is a gender issue not like ours....I believe the older gay men should move furthers and further away from them...I am going to be more vocal like at our lunch bunch...”

 

11 September 2019 Wednesday

I had a very restless night between Buddy and Lulubelle. Buddy was up wandering around and got stuck behind the lounge chair and making this bumping noise until I woke up and rescued him.  He then was just kind of up all night walking around. It must have rained good last night because Lulubelle was frightened and was shaking much on the time so I had to hold her.  On top of that I had a slight toothache that annoyed me so it was hard to fall asleep.

It's been raining hard all morning and the pups are all asleep. I've got a pot of pinto beans cooking and will make some corn bread later because that is what you do on cold rainy days.  I am sure the earth is soaking up this life giving rain after the hot and bone dry August.

At 12:30 I picked Kyle Foote up and it was coming down in buckets. He was soaked just walking the distance to where the lockers are where he has to store is backpack and phone. He wanted to just come to the house rather than the library and we stopped first at Golden Pearl to get some Chinese Take Out.

I put the ribs on to cook in the oven and then just went to my room to lay down for a bit while he did his school work. Before returning him to Fortitude we stop at Target so he could but some treats to take back with him and I bought some more bath rugs because the dogs prefer to lay on them and if they have accidents I can just throw in the washer.

Mike Romero called and said he’d pick up Coco as that his street was flooded and doubted whether my cruiser would have made it through.  When he came over I gave him half the ribs that were done by then and he said they were delicious. I also sent him home with some chili beans, the left over Chinese Pineapple Chicken, and some coleslaw mix. He also helped me put on the slip cover over the futon couch. It’s a burgundy color but more purple than red but I liked the way it fit so I ordered another one that is more red.  They will easily fit in the washing machine.

The rain stopped in the afternoon and skies began to clear but it was a major rain storm causing crashes on the Freeway both I-15 and I-215 near my house closing down the on ramps.

Rich Butler wants to come over tomorrow and Bill was razzing me for not making it to the Men’s Noon Lunch.  So he’s coming over Friday.

I fixed me some tacos for dinner and then just watched some reruns of Bob’s Burgers but fell asleep while lying on the front room carpet with Buster.  So I woke up around 9:30 and thought I better just go to bed which I did.

I remember right after 9/11 everyone was saying "Be Safe" rather than good bye... so be safe everyone however it's not radical Muslims we need to fear now. It's radicalized White Nationalist Christians carrying AK 15's like it’s their God given right. More people have been killed by guns in the past 2 decades than were killed during the 9/11 attack.

Hundreds of thousands of Americans have been killed by guns and many estimates put the number of deaths on par with the combined total of U.S. military deaths since the start of World War I. Seems like we are the enemy.

 

12 September 2019 Thursday

It was Kyle Foote’s home visitation day but his hours were changed from 7:30 in the morning to 5:30 in the late afternoon. This morning I was up around 6 and didn’t see Buddy so I took the flashlight and went downstairs in the back yard where he was waiting. It’s funny that he can go down all the steps by himself at night because of his dementia but can’t in the day time when I have to carry him down. His hind quarters are so weak that he doesn’t have the strength to come back up the steps.

            It was cool this morning only 48 degrees but the skies are cloudless and it’s suppose to warm up to the mid 70’s.

            I went down to Fortitude to retrieve Kyle Foote for his home visit at 7:30 this morning and didn’t see much of him today because he took off to meet with his math tutor at the Main Library and then with counselor at the Pride Center.

            Rich Butler dropped in for an hour at 10 to bring me a welcome plaque he made for my front door and enamel little sign that says, “Dogs Laugh with Their Tails”. I was expecting this dude named Steven Wood to come by and haul the shed away but he never did.  I made some cupcakes because I was bored and put the ribs in the Crockpot for Kyle’s lunch.

            He didn’t come back until after 3 and said that his counselor Aaron Higley cancelled and his Tutor was late so he just stayed at the Main Library studying before coming back to get a haircut from our Vietnamese barber.

            Kyle had to be back at Fortitude by 5:30 so I just had Mike come get Coco and I gave him the rest of the ribs and cupcakes I made. Traffic was really crazy at that time of afternoon but it is what it is.

            I watched a little of reruns of Bob’s Burgers before calling it a night. I went to bed real early about 8:30 checking Face book and the news before drifting off. I think I am having another tooth issue. Ugh! I took two Tylenols before going to sleep.

            In the news 10 Democratic Presidential candidates debated tonight. I don’t much care because I will vote for whoever is finally nominated next year. My dream ticket would be Warren and Buttigeig I think at this point or even Castro as running mate.  Sanders and Biden are good men but too old for the 21^st Century.

 

13 September 2019 Friday

It was a full moon Friday the 13^th which won’t happen again until I am long dead. Randy Rainbow who does all those political parodies with a Gay Twist was in town at Kingsbury Hall. I guess all the crème le crème was there from the Gay men communities were there although I suspect Lesbians and Trans weren’t in attendance much.

I was up at 4:30 with a toothache so just  got up, fixed some coffee and typed up my journal from June 1975.  I have Taco Belle again for the weekend as Jim Dabakis and husband Steve head up to Jackson Hole, Wyoming. I was a bit surprised as I thought he was being dropped off this evening but Jim came by at 11. I love him being here. He whined a bit when he realized Jim was gone but he's happy to be with his pals again.

            It was another beautiful last of summer day however the only time I was out  was going to lunch with Bill Poore.  He brought treats for the pups about noon. All the pups happy to see him...

He was fussing with his brother Ross again. That family is always in some stew with each other. We had lunch at the Black Bear Diner in Woods Cross. Kyle Foote had mentioned it before so I thought we’d try it because  it had diner type food. I had just a patty melt and a cup of soup off their “lesser menu” of which was more than enough. Bill loves his chicken fried steak breakfast so that is what he ordered. We both ended up taken some of our meal home like old people do. The place was good, a little pricey for what Bill described as an upscale Denny’s but we had a nice visit and he didn’t leave for home until nearly 3.

Other than taking Coco home, I didn’t go out for the rest of the evening. Mike Romero said he paid his truck and water heater off but is waiting until his next payment is due to pay off the camper.

I’ve had a small toothache for much of the day so have been popping Tylenol to deal with it. All that is in the news is the Perdue Opioid settlement, actress Felicity Huffman going to jail, Trump repealing Obama’s Clean Water act, and the Democratic Debates from last night.  Both Bill and I want Pete Buttigeig for Vice President who ever Warren or Biden gets the Presidential nomination so that he can run for President in 2024 or 2028. I don’t think the old guard homophobes are ready for a Gay President yet no matter how intelligent and honorable he is. They can’t get pass the bedroom icky factor.

 

14 September 2019 Saturday

I sometimes wonder if I would be better off having all my teeth pulled instead of one at a time. I have another toothache that is not going away even with the Tylenol I have been using.  I typed up more of my July 1975 journal and also sent Michael Aaron an article for the October Lambda Lore column.

I dropped another load of donations to DI today of towels, pillow cases, and other stuff I just don’t use and then went shopping. I needed another fit full size bed sheet so went to Wal-Mart before going shopping for groceries for the pups.

            Kyle Foote texted me if I would pick him up from the Glendale Library because he had a prescript for PrEp ready at the Redwood Clinic,. He’s stressed out from falling behind on this business law class that he had a quiz in tomorrow. Welcome to being in college at age 40.

I actually left the house on a Saturday Evening to attend SAGE's Card game night. I brought some cupcakes and played hearts for 2 hours mostly teaching people to play it. I really miss playing cards and interacting with people instead of just watching TV or being on the computer... I played cards with Jesse Dolce and Dan Fahndrich and some other fun people. If the Pride Center just had a weekly card game or dominoes I'd be there for sure..

I know I am being very judgmental, well that’s who I am, but I didn’t particular enjoy being at the SAGE event except for playing Hearts which I initiated. There were about 20 people there mostly Lesbians and Transwomen who separated and went off to play games in the Queer Ancestor Room while the men stayed in the reception area to play cards.

There were some young women there, either teens or in the early 20’s, who I had no idea how they “identified” but they were not all there in the head. Strange. Lots of older Dykes. I don’t care what anyone says politically we all need our own spaces where we can be ourselves and just because we are called the LGBTQ in reality we aren’t. Lesbians gravitate to Lesbians, Gay Men to men, Trans to other Trans and Bisexual Men to Gay Men and Bisexual Women to whoever.

Katie Webinger’s husband Dan, super nice guy, along with their Lesbian friend J.J. played with Jesse and me. Jesse’s new boyfriend Scott Johnson was kind of a dud and didn’t want to learn to play cards. Later Dan Fahndrich showed up with his housemate Mark and they played cards with this weird Geezer who looked like an old  hippie prospector,  named Sel. Because Scott wouldn’t play, those 3 played Hearts without a 4^th until I later joined them after my group left. Dan Fahndrich said he’s going to China on a tour next month.

I posted on Face book that while typing up my old Journals from my BYU Cult days, I found some old pictures pasted in my 1975 journal of Linda Prindle, a girl I was engaged to for about 3 months,  and Mike Allred, the boy I was really in love with. Being 21-25 years old was a really confusing time being a Gay boy in the closet at BYU. One of the pictures contained the "granny square afghan" I still have in my living room today. My grandma Williams made it for me. Linda died in 1995 after marrying twice and Mike is now a grandpa living in Ogden. It was a different era. My two tones shoes I was wearing should have outed me as Gay. LOL

. This is my life now "Not what we have but what we enjoy, constitutes our abundance" - Epicurus

 

15 September 2019 Sunday

Kyle’s hours were  from 12:30 to 4:30 today and he had a Business Law exam he had to study for and  take. Since the Library doesn’t open on Sundays until 1in the afternoon I took him down to Targets on 3^rd West where there’s a Starbucks inside where he can sit and use their Wi-Fi connection.

At home I received a Utah Queer Historical Society’s Proclamation of recognition today. I never received a proclamation before. LOL. Connell O'Donovan and Owen Edwards surprisingly dropped by this afternoon to deliver this recognition of the all effort that went into helping the Utah Queer Historical Society, which is an official project of the Pride Center, get established. The UQHS is in good hands now so I can concentrate on the Utah Stonewall Historical Society's lecture series, my Lambda Lore column for the Q, and my personal projects like typing up my journals. Still it's always nice to be recognized for my efforts which is rarely done by Connell so I suspect that this was initiated by Owen..but the work I do saving my and our Gay histories in Utah…that is what is essential before I check out for my final reward. Truth be known I left the UQHS because of the politics of Gender instead of homosexuality.

I watched two interesting movies on Netflix tonight...one was called “Alone in Berlin” about a married couple whose only son is killed in the war and they become anti-Hitler activists. It was based on a true event and the other was a French film called “Come What May” about the mass flight of French Refugees southward during the Nazi invasion... both were remarkably well done and captured the period well.

Kyle texted and said that the only other cook  Zane is gone all day tomorrow. So his out time is 6 until 10 at night..

 

16 September 2019 Monday

I need to make an appointment to see the dentist but I am dreading it because I know I probably will have another tooth pulled because I am not paying for a root canal.  Taking Tylenol seems to help dull the pain.

            Jim Dabakis came and retrieved Taco Belle this morning. He said that he’s going to Argentina for 3 week in October so I’ve have the pooch again this next month. He told me something interesting about KCPW’s Both Sides of the Aisle that he had been on for years and years as the left’s perspective. I haven’t heard him on it for a while and he said they fired him and are using a series of Democrats who aren’t very  left leaning.  None of them are as entertaining as Jim either.

I went down to the Pride Center where they now have an electronic sign-in that Isaac and Katie Webinger put in place. No more paper trail lol... I brought Katie and Rob Moolman some zucchini bread I made this morning and to thank Katie for the fun night last Saturday. I also gave a mini loaf to give to her husband.

From there I was off to get a haircut and a beard trim. I have been going to the same Vietnamese barber now for several years at the salon near the Post Office. For some reason I thought today was Tuesday so I went to Papa Murphy’s for their Tuesday $10 sale was chagrined when the counter person said it was only Monday. LOL I bought a large Hawaiian Pizza anyway for Kyle Foote and my supper.  It’s been warm and kind of a windy day like a storm may be moving in.

So I took Coco home, cooked up some chicken breasts, left at 5:45 to be down at Fortitude by 6 expecting to feed the pups by 6:30 at the latest.  However I sat and waited until 6:25 in the parking lot and did not hear a thing from Kyle. I suspected that for some reason he wasn’t going to be let out so I left.

Almost home Kyle called me and said that he was out so I said I’d come back to get him.  I had been up since 4:30 this morning with a toothache so I was really tired and kind of frustrated but knew it was the system jacking him around not anything he has control of.

It was 7 before we were back at the house and I could feed the pups. Kyle worked on his computer and I baked the pineapple pizza. Kyle said he wasn’t hungry but I was hungry since I hadn’t eaten since noon. However later I saw he had eaten several pieces I think after he relaxed a bit.

I watched TV while he looked at his scores on his classes when at 9 he was ready to go back. He said he was really tired too and also had been up since 4:30 this morning to fix breakfast for the inmates.

I stopped to get gas at the 7-11 on 17^th and 9^th West after dropping Kyle off because gas was still $2.47 a gallon there and I had passed a gas station where the price had jumped to $2.89 because of the strike on the Saudi Arabia Oil field by Yemen although Trump is saying Iran is behind it. The fascists want a war to keep Trump in power.

 

I saw a picture of Farley on my memory page from 3 years ago. I only had Farley for a few months but rescued him from a life on the street and gave him his last home. He was such a sweet heart who would hug my leg whenever I came home from somewhere. It was a devastating year, first Lucky, then Daisy, and then Farley. I adopted Lulubelle later in the year and a year later Buster... However losing these angels opened my home to Harleigh, Maxx, TJ, Lulubelle, and Buster. I know I will lose Buddy this year but I am too old to properly care for others that might need a home. I have to trust good people will step up and foster or adopt

 

17 September 2019 Tuesday

It's a rainy morning here in West Pointe between the Airport and the Jordan River. The pups let me sleep in until 7 this morning which is so unusual but when I did get up I saw that it had been raining out so this type of weather makes them more sleepy. Except for poor old Buddy, who was out on the veranda standing in the rain so I carried him inside and dried him off. I think he’s totally blind now and that is why he finds himself in a corner and doesn’t know how to turn around because of his dementia. With his dementia I don't think he's aware of where he is anymore but he still likes his hot dog treat in the morning. I see that he sniffs the other dogs now to recognize them because he probably can’t see them very well.  He still has a few more good days in him before I let him go. He sleeps most of the time anyway.

             I've had had another miserable toothache for the past couple of days again and I'm trying to get up the nerve to go to the dentist again. I just had a tooth pulled last July. If they can't fill the cavity I will have them pull it. No more root canals for me. Just call me Gummy Bear. Gee I always had good luck with my teeth until I didn't have any more insurance after retiring. Medicare really doesn't cover dental and your teeth are just as vital to health as anything else they say.

            Jim Dabakis surprised me this morning. He had Taco with him but he mainly came over to give me a bunch of meat he had bought at Lucky’s that his husband Steve said they didn’t need so he gave it to me. He said that it would be around October 3^rd that he would be heading down to Argentina for three weeks. I guess it will be Spring time down there.

            Kyle Foote asked me to pick him up at noon instead of 12:30 because Zane the only other cook had to leave right at 4:30 so I did. We went to Lowe’s to buy a new track for the bedroom Closet that is bent but when we came home found that it was a bit too big so we will exchange it tomorrow for a smaller one. The rest of the afternoon Kyle worked on his school courses and a camera that he needed to correspond with Indiana State on his Computer was delivered today he bought off of Amazon for $300. School ain’t cheap.

            I noticed when I picked him up that the 7-11 I bought gas at last night had jumped from $2.47 to $2.89 a gallon over night.

            After taking Kyle back to Fortitude I came home, fixed the pups their supper and also something for me before watch several episodes of reruns of Bob’s Burgers, before I decided to turn in early at 8.  The Tylenol doesn’t seem to be dulling the pain as much and I am afraid of taking too much.

            In the news Cokie Roberts the newswoman who helped start NPR back in the1970s died today age 75.

·         Deb Hall When I went to a senior conference earlier this year, there was a course on seniors and teeth that was put on by the American dental association. Over 60% of seniors are missing 6 or more teeth because they no longer have dental coverage once they go on Medicare. Missing so many teeth is the cause for poor diet because of limited ability to chew food which leads to many other side effects that come from a poor and unbalanced diet, it is the cause of social isolation when people start missing most of their teeth, and social isolation is a risk factor for many other problems. People don't realize how important Dentistry is for seniors. We need to have some sort of Dentistry that is based on sliding scale fee for our seniors. I think it's one of the most important things that has to be worked on. Good luck Ben, I'm sorry to hear you're going through this again.

·          Benedgar Williams Thanks Deb you described it perfectly about my diet and compound that with my bariatric surgery where I can't eat as much I know that I have an unbalanced diet but I still like to be social as that it's just my molars that are disappearing. I think some of the issues too is that older people don’t want to go into debt for dentures when in reality we might not be around that long to get the benefit of them.

 

18 September 2019 Wednesday

I had a miserable night between my toothache and Buddy being so restless. He was up much of the night wandering and bumping into things. About 3 in the morning I carried him downstairs to the yard and really didn’t get to bed until 4 after actually taking one of the pain pills prescribed last summer. I’ve come to the realization that it is time for Buddy to go be put down. I hate even writing those words but he’s blind, has dementia, and falls down a lot. His hind quarters just doesn’t support him much anymore.

            On the internet I looked up the Humane Society of Utah when I remembered that Fran and I had taken Sam and Toby there in 1986. They will still do euthanasia and will let me have his cremains to place with the others when it’s that time. Now to just steady my nerves and do what is right by Buddy. He has no quality of life anymore. He can’t eat or drink water unless I put it right under his nose.

            So I made an appointment for Buddy to be put down at the Humane Society  for October 1^st a Tuesday at 3:30. They were booked up that far ahead, which surprised me.  That’s less than 13 days away but not sure he will last that long or I want him to endure that much time. The more I thought about it the more I didn’t want to prolong the inevitable so I went down to the Dog Park Vet and made an appointment for Buddy to be put down tomorrow at 9:15. It’s for the best. Then I called the Centerville Dentist office and made an appointment to see Dr. Carter at 10 to have my tooth taken care of one way or another. So tomorrow is going to be a bitch of a day.

 

19 September 2019  Thursday

It was a beautiful end of summer day for Buddy’s last day with us. It was a grueling night and I was more than certain that it was time for Buddy. I had him sleep with me for much of the night so I could hold him but he was so restless with his dementia that he would get off the bed and wander into the walls as he used them to guide him and he would get stuck in corners. I let him out of the veranda and at one point he tumbled down the steps so that was how he was going down into the yard during the night when I had been sleeping. Between my toothache and heartache it was a rough night and I had to be up early to pick Kyle Foote up at Fortitude at 7:30.

Buddy’s appointment wasn’t until 9:15 so we had an hour to love on him. I put him up in the bay widow bench where he laid in the warming of the morning sun and slept. I did give him some hot dogs but he didn’t eat much or drink much. Kyle sat with him and stroked him until it was time. We wanted to be down at 9 so I could do the paper work and Kyle drove while I held Buddy. It cost about $600 for the procedure and to pay for his cremation and little box that I just had the name Buddy placed on it.

            They took us to a little room where they probably do all their euthanizes and it was so much homier than the sterile clinic where my other pups were put down. The groomer Carol when she knew Buddy was here came down to say good bye and hugged me and cried. We laid Buddy on a pillow. He had a tranquilizer injection before they put in a catheter to which they administered the drug that put him too sleep. He went so quickly and peaceful in seconds it was hard to believe that he was gone already.

            I didn’t stay to grieve. I had grieved all night and I had to be up in Centerville for Dr. Carter to pull my tooth.  However because they had several emergencies and were really backed up I waited in the Dentist chair 2 hours before Dr. Carter could do the procedure. I didn’t care because I kind of napped and thought of Buddy the entire time.

 I was geared up for another extraction but Dr. Carter said I must have had good Karma for being so patient because the molar came out without any real resistance and I was done within 10 minutes. It was relatively painless compared to the last two pulled but now I have no bottom molars on the right side of my jaw.  Because there wasn’t any real surgery involved it was only about $180 to extract the tooth.

            The other day Buddy had got trapped behind the lounge chairs and in the process knocked over a scented wax warmer I had and broke it. So I went to Wal-Mart which was right there in Centerville and bought another one and some more gauze for my mouth for where the tooth came out but later found I didn’t really need it.

            So I didn’t get home until 12:30 in the afternoon on a brilliant sunny day and I thought of what the Native American in Little Big Man said, “it’s a good day to die.”  Buddy had a beautiful day to depart and hopefully join Daisy somewhere. It’s strange that even with all the pups still at home there was a feeling of emptiness with Buddy not being there even though for the past couple of months he mostly slept.

            Kyle was gone all day after I left for his counseling appointment at the Pride Center at noon and then he had to go up to Layton to meet with a counselor in the construction degree for Weber State. He was almost late coming back but managed to get him back to Fortitude by 5:30. He said it was a very positive meeting with the guy from Weber State and he felt really good about it. We didn’t really get to spend any time together except for the sorrowful morning.

            Mike came over to get Coco so I stayed in for the rest of the evening and fed the pups. It felt slightly odd not to be fixing Buddy a bowl after 13 years. 

The Centerville Dental people called and said that they found the error on my insurance as they accidently refunded it to me so I have to go down tomorrow and pay them again. Also that Steve Wood left another message about the shed but it was after 9 so I was already in bed.

 

20 September 2019 Friday

You can tell summer is over when the floors are cold on your bare feet. It was raining pretty hard this morning and it rained off and on all day. So different from the beautiful day that was yesterday. I am glad that Buddy departed on a nice day. I had my doctor’s appointment at 8:30 with Dr. Hugh Stoneburner. My blood pressure was high at 168/94 but down from yesterday at the Dentist. Well it’s like I haven't had a reason lately.

Well I was shocked that my A1c sugars was 5.5 and they were 6.2 last May. I was afraid that they would be higher with all the junk I eat but I lost 4 lbs since then and I'm at 178 lbs. Stoneburner said technically I am still considered over weight because my body mass index is not suppose to be higher than 25 and I am 26.39 lol.  I was prescribed a higher dose of Lisinopril at 20 mg a tablet now. My next appointment is on Thursday 21 of November.

While at the clinic on Redwood and 21^st South I also made an eye examination at the Moran Clinic for this coming Tuesday then I will be done with medical stuff for a while.

Right afterwards I drove up to Centerville and paid them the $98 I owed for my insurance mix up then came home to rest before going to pick up Kyle Foote at Fortitude. He’s going to keep the truck overnight down there off the site so he can use it tomorrow.

When we came back to the house Bill Poore was over having brought some flowers and a candle for Buddy and treats for the pups. We visited for about an hour. He had a kidney test today and the results weren’t good. They are functioning only at 29 percent. Bill is 70 years old now.

My niece Denise said she’s going to be a grandmother in February. Her son Nathan Ferguson is having a baby but I don’t know if he’s married to the mother, not that it matters I suppose. This will make Mom and Dad Great-Great Grandparents. Wow. My Great Great Grandfathers were George Kearse Williams born in 1847, Theophilus Bassell Danforth born in 1849, Tom Johnson born in 1801, and Neal McLeod born in 1840.

Andy Dalrymple is trying to start a new Gay group but don’t know if it will take off called for now The Utah Gay Forum. I think he’s doing it in response to Terry Gillman kicking him off the Utah Gay Men Resource Network for being too controversial.

Trump is sending US troops to Saudi Arabia, a criminal country that is no friend of Democracy but then neither is Trump. There’s this secret Whistleblower scandal involving his alleged promising to help Ukraine in response to Ukraine providing dirt on Joe Biden’s son. How did we ever get to this point?

Millions of people around the world took to the streets to protests their governments inaction over Global Warming.

 

21 September 2019 Saturday

Happy Mabon and Happy Harvest. Mabon is a pagan harvest festival which is celebrated on the Autumnal Equinox each year – around September 21st through September 24th. This year Summer won’t officially begin until Monday the 23^rd. Weird. Also known as Harvest Home, this holiday marks the middle of the harvest cycle – when both the days and nights are of equal length. It is a time to reap what you sow, a time to give thanks to Mother Earth for the bounty she provides and a time to rest after bringing in the crops. It is also the second holiday on the Wheel of the Year, which includes other harvest festivals such as Lammas and Samhain. Enjoy your summer tomatoes they won’t last long... time to switch from zucchini bread to pumpkin bread

The storm has blown out and the temperature has dropped. I don’t think it was warmer than 60 degrees most of the day. Kyle Foote had the Sonoma all day so I didn’t see him at all today. I guess he spent his time off at the downtown library. Unfortunately his tutor couldn't make it today to help him cram for his Algebra Test so he re-scheduled his test for Monday.

            TJ Otaka texted me that they want to take me to lunch on Monday at 1. I think they want to see the pups. Jim Dabakis surprised me bringing Mr. Taco over. He said Taco was getting anxious like he was missing the gang so he’s spending the night as a sleep over. He said he confirmed his flight to Argentina for October 4^th so I may have Taco for a month then. Jim said he found a guy in Argentina on the Gay hookup site Grindr to be his personal assistant and whose Mom and Grandmother will cook and clean for him LOL. He needed someone who speaks English and be kind of a go between with the ways of Argentina since Jim will probably spend a month there. We both thought it was hilarious that he found job applicants on Grindr. Well at least he will have a cute Gay boy around and won’t have to filter Jim and Steven’s relationship.

            I invited Bill Poore over for Sunday Dinner tomorrow as I found his glasses that he said he lost when he was over the other day. I’ll make a Pot Roast, his favorite.

            I fixed chicken thighs and flank steak for the pups tonight. Taco had a good appetite and Buster wanted 2nds. Lulubelle prefers her Caesar dog food so she gets that because she’s a finicky princess. I am having yesterday’s stew.

            I typed up more of my 1975 journal, cleaned Buddy’s messes off the veranda, and watched some episodes of Bob’s Burgers, nothing to exciting this day. I really need to get out and do some yard work now that’s it’s cooled down.

 

22 September 2019 Sunday

All is quiet on the Western Front... Taco is a snuggle boy this morning ... I am surrounded by Chihuahuas even old Harleigh wanted up on the bed this morning. They all know how to comfort me missing sweet Buddy. This last day of summer I fixed a pot roast Sunday Dinner and had Michael Romero, Bill Poore, and Kyle Foote over for dinner. While we were visiting Jim Dabakis came over to retrieve Mr. Taco from his sleep over... TJ and him have become great pals... Bill brought me a beautiful flowering plant. He knows I like yellow flowers the best.

            Rich Kane showed his short film on about Radio City at the Palm Springs  Shorts Six: Perspectives hosted by Cinema Diverse. Rose Carrier, Babs DaLay and I talked about the history of the Radio City Lounge.

·         Bill Poore great meal, great seeing Michael, Kyle, Jim and all the pups...If I listed them all it would be like eight of them, I included Buddy in the count....He is still very much there in spirit.

 

23 September 2019 Monday

I had a nice visit this afternoon with T.J. Otaka and Jim McMillan. They brought me some lovely flowers and a sympathy card for Buddy. They also took me out to lunch at Chubbys . It’s a treasure to have caring friends.

            Kyle Foote was having a bad day because he had the wrong connecting cable to be able to use his camera to take a proctored Algebra Test on line.

I am more than ever convinced that Trump supporters support him only because he hates the same people that they do

 

24 September 2019 Tuesday

Home from an eye examination with Dr. McKay at the Moran eye Clinic on Redwood Road. I still am at 20/15 vision and I have no damage from my diabetes so I guess doing okay. Now if my teeth have turned on me in my old age I would be super.

            Kyle Foote brought the truck back today and was at the house working on his school work for most of the time he was out. We did go out to lunch again at Chubbys where this time I ordered Tacos Carbon. Yesterday I had a cheese enchilada.

Craig Crawford sent me a Market Street Grill gift card to take Kyle out to lunch sometime. The Market Street Grill restaurants were owned by John Williams, Craig’s lover that he killed while  higher than a kite. How weird is that? I've had weird stuff in my life but getting a gift card from a murderer is at the top of the list.

I completely finished typing up my journal from 1975 with annotations. I had worked on it for several months. It was not a happy year for the most part. I was an impoverished BYU college student using religion to deal with me being attracted to men.

            Nancy Pelosi is finally allowing an impeachment investigation against Treasonous Trump for his extortion of Ukraine holding up foreign aid to the country unless they give him dirt against Joe Biden.

 Mike Romero said an exhibit of artifacts from Pompeii is going to be shown at the Leonardo this November. I really want to go.

Since Sinclair took over channel 2 it's nothing but Trump propaganda forum. Disgusting.

 

25 September 2019 Wednesday

My checking account was getting low so I transferred some money from my savings into it. Kyle Foote needed $100 to pay his math tutor and he doesn’t get paid until Friday so I transferred some money into his account also yesterday. I went to DI to buy some long pants while the weather is cooling down. It won’t be long until shorts weather will be over. Since I am still losing weight I don’t want to pay a lot for clothes until I stabilize. I did buy a new pair of corduroys that still had the $36 price tag on it for $6. They are a 36 inch waist and I am somewhere between that and 38 which really is too loose on me.

            I went to the Gay Men’s lunch group this afternoon. Hadn’t been all this month. It was a small group however TJ, Jim, Charles, and Richard were there so I was glad to see them. I didn’t eat anything. I wasn’t hungry.

            Back at the house I finally mowed the front yard. It was really getting overgrown and I started cleaning out some of the flower beds. It was only in the 70’s today.

            Kyle Foote went out to dinner with his sister at the New Golden Dragon on 17^th South and State and came back to the house about 8 when I was finished watching “Love, Simon” which was a teenage coming out story. It was good but reminded me somewhat of “16 Candles”. I doubt if any high school would be that supportive of a Gay kid.

            I drove Kyle back to Fortitude at 9 and just came home to go to bed.

 

26 September 2019 Thursday

Buddy’s been gone a week now and things are calmer in the house with all the pups. I was up early to pick Kyle Foote up from Fortitude at 7:30 and I had to leave the house myself at 8:15 to make it down to the Roseman Dental school in South Jordan by 9 this morning. I didn’t know where it really was so I wanted to give myself plenty of time. The two students who were going to work on me are named Spencer and Jeff but after taking my blood pressure it was higher than what the school allowed for me to be worked on. Their cut off was at the 160 high range and mu lowest at several attempts was 164 so I made an appointment to come back on October 10^th. I had forgotten to take my blood pressure pill this morning so now I really have to be more careful about taking my pills.

            Kyle’s going to be up in Layton much of the day meeting with academic advisors from Weber State. He said his Indiana State Algebra Teacher extended the time for him to take his test after he explained him time limitations from being still institutionalized.

            I was tired in the afternoon and took a nap and then around 2 went out to do some more yard work when at 3:30 Kyle showed up with the truck all stressed out saying the Sonoma was having major issues with it shutting down and dash board lights all coming on. We was worried he wouldn’t make it home and had been frantically leaving me messages but of course I wasn’t near my phone or computer. So I had him following me down 3^rd West to Lancers my auto mechanic guy where we left it for them to diagnose.

            From there he needed to reserve a room at the Main Library for his Algebra Test on Saturday and we did a little shopping at Smith’s Market Place before taking him back to Fortitude. He was only able to meet with two of the three people he needed to sign off on the design and construction degree he wants to earn but said they all went well and they were very hopeful about his success in the program.

So besides the stress over worried about being stranded in Ogden he had a good day. He even said he went by his old Air Force Reserve Recruiter Office while he was in Layton out of Nostalgia. He’s still is considered young enough he wanted to enlist again.

            For the rest of the evening I watched “Adventures In Babysitting” which is one of my favorite movies from the 80’s before heading to bed. Good night sweet Buddy where ever you may be.

            The news is filled with reports of Treasonous Trump’s extortion call to the President of Ukraine to get dirt on Joe Biden. Rudy Guiliani his personal should be disbarred and in jail.

 

27 September 2019 Friday

Kyle Foote came back to the house to work on school assignments and I made us a shepherd pie for dinner and worked in the front yard cleaning out flower beds before the rain comes this weekend..

I am so disappointed that I can't make it to Randy Hoffman’s presentation today. I registered for it and everything but the truck was in the shop and I had To take Kyle Foote down to Lancers at 3:30 to pick it up.  They had to tighten a bolt that controlled some of the electrical components that came loose and when jingled would made the Sonoma loose power. It was only $68 to repair it.  Because it was getting so close to the time Kyle had to be back at Fortitude he just took the truck there and I came home with his backpack and computer.

All that is in the News is Trump going more ape shit crazy over the impeachment inquiry by House Democrats.

 

28 September 2019 Saturday

Yep...summer is gone in Utah... stormy this weekend and cool for the rest of the week...I guess I will have to put the shorts and sandals way

It was suppose to rain and storm today but except for about noon when I brought Kyle Foote’s computer and back pack down to him at the Main Library it didn’t much. I worked on struggling with condensing 157 pages that are in my files on 1996 down to 10 pages for the lecture next Wednesday. The elephant in the room then was Utah’s panic over Gay kids wishing to form clubs in high school and secondary, the demise of GLUD. For once in 10 years AIDS did not overshadow everything else.

            Kyle had an Algebra Test today that he was anxious about. I thought he was coming back to the house afterwards but he didn’t. I made an Italian  macaroni and meat casserole and baked some bread for the first time in a long time. The bread turned out to be really good.

            I just watched a lot of TV for the rest of the night. I watched two Steven Spielberg movies, “The Post” and “Ready Player One”, and “The Isle of Dogs”. The Post was the about the Washington Post  and the Pentagon Papers. The other two were entertaining but will not be memorable. 

After all these years I still think of Billy Bikowski on his birthday. He is 58 years old now. You don’t always get want you want but you get what you need. The road not taken by both of us. I don’t think Billy was capable of the loving me.

I keep expecting to hear how the September Oratory with Patrick Califia, bisexual transman that Connor O’Donovan flew in from Portland went. He has no history with Utah other than being from here at one time. It was Connells pandering to the Trans community and I bet it was a flop or I would have heard something.

Today was the 5th Annual Queer Continuum Conference sponsored by the 1-5 Club of bisexuals. From the pictures I saw it was mainly trans and bisexual women and didn’t look like many attended all.  Lately it seems that the Pride Center’s Events are geared primarily to the Trans community.

 

29 September 2019 Sunday

I worked all day on the lecture for Wednesday’s presentation. I decided that I can only cover the East High Gay Straight Alliance issue and do it justice. Kyle Foote came to the house at 8:30 and stayed until he had to be back at Fortitude at noon. I left him alone to study. I know he’s anxious about his algebra test he has to complete tomorrow.

            I don’t think I left the house all day and just watched TV. It was too cool to go out and do any yard work. I watched the first episodes of American Horror Story Apocalypse. It was pretty interesting and bizarre and got pretty gory so I stopped and went to bed.  It was only in the 40’s for most of the day.

 

30 September 2019 Monday

It's chilly morning this last day of September a change from the first when it was 100 degrees. I just want to stay in bed and cuddle with the pups. It's supposed to warm up for the rest of the week...at least I am not in Montana where 2 feet of snow fell.

Here it was a clear beautiful but cool last day of September. The only thing I did today was transfer $500 from my savings account over to my checking account at America First Credit Union to cover the money that needs to back into my 401k account.  However it wasn’t necessary as I had plenty of money and Michael Romero said he will deposit the repayment tomorrow from the $1500 he received from selling is small camping trailer last August.  I also finally heard back from Tyler Ferguson that indeed we did set up an automatic repayment schedule so the 401K is repaid on the 1^st of each month starting tomorrow so I don’t have to do anything else to take care of it.

            This afternoon Kyle Foote called me to say this time his Algebra Test went off fine and he even got a 97 percent on it that he was so excited about. He said completing the test was a massive relief because he’s been studying his ass off and he said it was  good to know it's not been in vain. I need to get the handicap sticker back from the truck however because he really doesn’t need it any more as he doesn’t plan on using the downtown library anymore.

            I binged watched American Horror Story Apocalypse tonight. It was a good story plot but way too much graphic gore. It was fun to see Kathy Bates so evil though. It’s also fun to see Billie Lourd continue the acting tradition of her mother Carrie Fisher and grandmother Debbie Reynolds.