Spring Second Quarter Journal 1974 April-June

APRIL

 April was another transitional month as the Winter Term ended and people packed up to go home for the summer break. I was staying to enroll in the 8-week Spring Term. As that I was now a student again at BYU, I was rehired in the food service section again in the Cougareat food court.

            The drama of family sisters at Seville 27 and the house at 303 East 100 North finally ended as the co-eds mostly dispersed. Mike Allred left for Wyoming leaving Mardene Francis and I heartbroken.

            While working at the Cougareat I met another closeted Gay man named John Wagner which academically and mentally was a  disastrous but my was he handsome.

1 April 1974 Monday

Family Home evening tonight didn’t turn out very well. Mike Allred hadn’t planned anything, so it turned into kind of a bad night. Only Dirk Merrill, Marta Gillings, Leila Olson, Mardene Francis, Linda Prindle, Mike, and I  went to it.

            It had rained for most of the day, so we drove to the Wilkinson Center to go to the game room. Once there we decided to go to the Weekend Movie instead and we saw “Torn Curtain.” I thought the movie was rather boring and Linda ha really made me mad by getting up from sitting next to me to go sit by somewhere else.

            All last week Lind was hot, cold, hot cold, ad this was kind of like the last straw. I was mad most of the night and later wrote Linda a note saying that I thought we should break up for a while.

Additional Material

Torn Curtain is a 1966 American political thriller directed by Alfred Hitchcock. American physicist played by Paul Newman shocks his friends and family by defecting to East Germany to work with the Soviets during the height of the Cold War. Even his fiancée Julie Andrews is surprised by the move.

2 April 1974 Tuesday

It snowed all day and it felt like the middle of winter and not spring or the first of April. There was about 3 inches of snow on the ground. Linda Prindle and I made up this morning. It was all a big misunderstanding. Yet I still feel kind of strange inside about our relationship. It takes time to heal even minor hurts.

            I spent all day up at the BYU genealogy library researching only the Fenter side of the family. I was mainly looking up information on my Grandpa Christian Fenter. He’s my Grandma Johnson’s grandpa’s grandpa.

Additional Material

Gay photographer Robert Opel streaked across the stage during the Academy Awards during the announcement of the award for best picture. Approximately one billion viewers worldwide were tuned in.

3 April 1974 Wednesday

I spent most of the day writing up the research I found on the Fenter’s. Grandma Johnson’s mother was Mary Ellen Fenter of Jacksboro, Texas.

At family prayer tonight I was mad at Mike Allred, Mardene Francis, and Barbara Smith for being so critical of me all night. The only person they were picking on was me. It sure made me appreciate Linda Prindle more. She is always uplifting and good to me.

I  guess Ken Lewis and Nancy Shelley will be married on the 12th of April after all in the Provo Temple. Nancy was able to get her clearance to be married but only to Ken for “Time” and not for eternity  as she is still sealed to her first husband. He wants me to be his best man at the reception so I will have to rent a tuxedo which will cost about $15. It’s going to be rather expensive, but someone needs to do it.

4 April 1974 Thursday

Darwin Ross came down to Provo to stay with us for Conference Weekend. I guess he and Debbie Holbrook have broken up for good this time. Mardene Francis’ brother Loren also came down from Logan, so we have two guests this weekend.

5 April 1974 Friday

Barbara Smith and Leila Olsen came over and we watched the morning session of Conference and listened to President Kimball’s opening address. It sure made pause to think. We also watched the closing session together. I think I am coming down with the flu because I am very feverish.

6 April 1974 Saturday

This morning was the Solemn Assembly of General Conference. Barbara Smith, Leila Olsen, Linda Prindle, and I sustained President Kimball and all the other General Authorities over the TV. Mike was still in bed sleeping because he was called into work last night. Mardene Francis wasn’t over either because she had stayed out with him until 2 in the morning helping him at the Country Club.

Additional Material

Hooked On A Feeling by Blue Swede was the number 1 song for the week

7 April 1974 Sunday

All the girls from Seville 27 came over to our place to watch General Conference. I was really sick and could hardly get up. I was so weak and went right back to bed after the closing session.

8 April 1974 Monday

I just stayed in bed all day. I was so miserable especially when no one check on me to see how I was feeling. So much for being a family.

9 April 1974 Tuesday

I was feeling better today, and Linda Prindle asked if I would take her to Manti tomorrow, so she go through the temple there with her friends. I said I would but really didn’t want to because I would have to get up so early in the morning.

Additional Material

The American Psychological Association officially voted to remove homosexuality as a mental disorder. "Homosexuality per se implies no impairment in judgment, stability, reliability, or general social and vocational capabilities; Further, the American Psychological Association urges all mental health professionals to take the lead in removing the stigma of mental illness that has long been associated with homosexual orientations."

10 April 1974 Wednesday

I was up at 4 this morning to get ready for the trip to Manti. When I went into the kitchen, it was a mess, I could see that a lot of it was Ken Lewis.’ I was kind of ticked off since Mike Allred cleaned it yesterday and Ken hasn’t all semester. I left a note on the icebox that he could see when he gets up that he ought to stop being a pig and clean up after his self.

            I then left to go over to Linda Prindle’s at 4:45 to pick her and her friend them up. It had snowed all night and there was about 3 inches of snow all over the ground. I really did not want to drive all the way down to Manti in the snowy weather as tired and beat as I was from getting over the flu, I caught last weekend. I was a little put out that Linda still wanted to go down when I was so sick.

Today is my 23rd birthday and Linda gave me a birthday present. It was President Kimball’s book “Faith Precedes the Miracle.”

            We left Provo about 5 and it snowed on us all the way down. At Nephi, we crossed over the pass-through Fountain Green into Ephraim. Along the road there was a farmer whose truck had broken down. Since it was snowing pretty heavily and it was a back road, we gave him a lift to Fountain Green.

            We reached Manti at 7 this morning and Linda went inside the Temple to be with her friends  while I sat in the car in the Temple Parking lot that overlooked the town. It snowed the entire time and I tried to keep warm by running the heater, but the Pinto was too drafty.

            Linda was in the temple session for 2 hours until 9 and then we headed home. She said she had a very special time and I felt like a rat acting like I did but I still feel rather put upon.

On the way home, the roads were snow packed and icy and we skidded off the road into a ditch. The Lord was looking out for us though because in a little while, some people were around to help pull us out. I couldn’t have done it by myself, and Linda was too frail.

            We finally reached home at 11 in the morning, and I went right back to bed to get some rest after driving over 200 miles in bad road conditions.

            In the evening, at Family Prayer, Mike came over with some of the family and had a birthday cake for me. That was really thoughtful of him. That was about the extent of my 23rd birthday. Mom and Dad had sent me a card but neither grandparents did. So happy birthday to me.

Additional Material

My boyhood friend, Jerry lee Smith’s 23rd birthday also.

11 April 1974 Thursday

 I did a lot of running around and getting fitted for a tuxedo for Ken Lewis’ big day tomorrow. He wants me to wear a canary yellow tux. He’s driving me nuts as the expectant groom.

12 April 1974 Friday

Today was Ken Lewis and Nancy Shelley’s Wedding day. They were married in the Provo Temple at 2:30 this afternoon and Mike Allred went to the sealing. At 5:30 there was a dinner reception in the Wilkinson Center’s President Room for the wedding party. Cathy Bell was there, She was one of the few people I knew so we talked for most of the time. Cathy was the Bride’s Maid, and I was the Best Man.

            Then at 7:30 I had to be down in Mapleton, where Nancy’s parents live for the reception. It was a nice affair. I wore a yellow tuxedo as best man to match Ken’s. It cost me $12  which wasn’t bad compared to the $20 that Durfy’s rental wanted. The reception lasted from 8 to 10 at night. I sure got tired of shaking hands and smiling at all these well-wishers I didn’t know. Ken sure has a lot of relatives.

            I was thankful when people showed up who I knew. All the girls from Seville 27 finally showed up as well as Mike and Greg Earl and his girlfriend Annette.

            I didn’t stay any longer than 10:30 tonight because I told Mike that I would come out with him to the country club where he works to help him since he was called in and he has three finals this Monday. Saturday will be the only time he will have to study for it.

            Ken had a nice reception and got himself a wonderful wife. That is all he ever wanted. Nancy is a neat girl. It snowed all the way home from Mapleton and it looked like Mid-January rather than April.

13 April 1974 Saturday

As soon as I came back to the Hostel from Mapleton, I went to bed but was back up at 12:30 in the morning which came real fast. I was up to go with Mike Allred out to the Riverside Country Club to help him in his janitorial job. I mostly just vacuumed but that was plenty as it was a big building with lots of carpeting. I’m glad I went because it made Mike and I grow closer and hopefully made him realize how wrong he has been about me.

            We finished at 3 in the morning, and we then went home. There was about 6 inches of snow on the ground and Mike’s windshield wiper broke because of the heavy snow.

            After going back to bed, we both slept in, or at least I did, until 10 in the morning.

Additional Material

Bennie And The Jets by Elton John was number 1 song for the week.

14 April 1974 Sunday

This is the last Sunday that the 41st Branch will meet at Farrer Junior High school. Next week we will meet up on Campus for the Spring and Summer Terms in the Thomas L. Martin Building. In the Quorum of Elders, Bro. Dick Wilson was released as President, Bro. Bill Mursett as 1st Counselor, and Br. Tim Garbett as 2nd Counselor. We then sustained  Bill Mursett as President.

            In Priesthood we were given a Missionary Lesson of appreciating other churches for the good that is in them

            Linda Prindle and I went to Steven Sorenson’s Sunday School Class. At Sacrament we released the Branch Presidency which consisted of Bro. Paul Smith as 1st Counselor and Bro. Gene Mills  and Bro. Steve Paulsen as Clerk. Dick Wilson was then sustained as 1st Counselor and Brian Anderson as Branch Clerk.

            In the evening Ken and Nancy Lewis invited the BYU family out to Mapleton to have left over wedding cake and snacks. It was really just a way to thank everyone. Linda and I drove down with Marvin Jones and Cathy Nelson since Mike Allred was taking the rest of the family sisters there.

            The weather is finally clearing up although the air is still cold and crisp outside. Tomorrow starts the final week of the Winter Term. It’s hard to believe that.

15 April 1974 Monday

This will be a blue week as everyone is taking their finals and packing up getting ready to go home or move. We didn’t hold Family Home evening because of everyone studying for Finals.

Additional Material

In San Francisco, members of the Symbionese Liberation Army rob a branch of the Hibernia Bank, joined by Patricia Hearst, their erstwhile captive.

16 April 1974

No Entry

17 April 1974 Wednesday

After Mike Allred had his last final, we went down to ZCMI at the University Mall because of a sale they were having on clothes. I bought 2 pairs of Levi jeans, 4 ties, a shirt, socks, and some handkerchiefs. Mike bought some clothes too. We then went to the J.B. Restaurant and had hamburgers for lunch. It was a good day; warm and pretty out. We had a good time just doing something for us for a change. Our time together is growing short.

            In the evening we called the sisters at Seville up to see what they wanted to do this evening before we all go our own ways. Mike and I wanted to go swimming, but the girls only wanted to play board games. We ended up playing Monopoly until 9:30 tonight and everyone was ganging up on Linda, driving her into bankruptcy.

Dirk Merrill even came over, so it was a fun evening except for Mardene Francis being mad at Mike for not showing her more attention and was in a huff. I kind of calmed her down and got her to come and talk with Mike about her feelings. I said it won’t be long until we all go our separate ways. I don’t know whether they worked anything out or not.

18 April 1974 Thursday

I started packing up my things from the apartment 7 at the Hostel. We are supposed to be out by Saturday the 20th when all our contracts are up.

Additional Material

William Safire, a conservative columnist, and speech writer for Richard M Nixon wrote that while he believes homosexuality is abnormal and immoral, that when homosexuals are denied equal protection of the law "it is the law that is queer."

19 April 1974 Friday

I went with Mike Allred tonight to help him work at the Country Club. We got into the Ice Cream and party Crackers in the kitchen that were left over from some catered affair. Today was Mike Allred’s brother’s graduation and his parents came down form Afton to attend it with Mike.

            I received a letter from Mom today saying she and Dad are coming up to see me at the end of the month before Dad starts his new job.

20 April 1974 Saturday

This morning was Mike Allred’s last day at the Riverside Country Club and I went in with him to help him get his work done. We were too tired to do anything but clean and go home. Greg Earl and Ken Lewis cleaned up their share of the apartment and moved out  and I moved my things to Apartment 8 that was empty. Mike is going to stay with me until he leaves for Wyoming next week.

Additional Material

TSOP (The Sound Of Philadelphia) by MFSB Featuring The Three Degrees was the Number 1 song for 2 weeks.

21 April 1974 Sunday

I was up at 8:30 this morning to get ready for church. I spent my first night in my new home last night. It is so sad that everything has to change. Hostel apartment 7 is now vacant containing only memories. Greg Earl is moving into a house. Ken Lewis got married. Darwin Ross is in the army. Mike Allred is going home to Afton, Wyoming and I moved upstairs. Dirk Merrill our other Family Home Evening Group brother left for Virginia for the summer.

            The Sisters at Seville 27 have mostly scattered. Cindy Myers is the only one staying at the Seville Apartment 27 and already has a new roommate, but the apartment doesn’t’ look the same anymore. Leila Olsen went home to Washington for the summer. She will return next fall and live with Cindy Fordum. Barbara Smith is staying at the Seville until the 30th then she is moving into the Management House up on Campus for the Summer. Mardene Francis moved down to Seville 25 and is staying the Spring Term to finish her I-Step Teaching Program with the prospects of landing Mike next to nil. She will probably just go home to Alberta, Canada.

 Carol Starr is here for the summer too, but she will be moving to Seville Apartment 1 which is in the 74th Branch boundaries. She doesn’t know whether she will go to school or work full time. Linda Prindle has moved into Cathy Nelson’s house across the street from the Apollo Apartments. She likes it there, but I don’t at all. It’s too dark, gloomy, and old maidish.

Piper Ballou left to return home to Page Arizona when her parents came up to get her. I guess she had to leave in a hurry because she didn’t say goodbye. She did say earlier that next year she will probably go to college in Flagstaff rather than return to BYU. She said she can’t afford to stay at the Y. I hope I get to see her again some time.

Karen Hunt also moved out of the 303 House from hell and is living in Springville with her sister there. She went home to Sacramento, California for the Summer. Dixie Holmes went back to Page Arizona also for the summer. I don’t know whether she will be back  next fall or not. Chris Burt says she’ll leave for California to bum around. I hope everything will work out for her. I never heard what Corrie Mohr is going to do.

Marta Gillings is going to San Diego for the Spring Break but will return for the Spring Term and possible the summer one as well. She is the only one who will be remaining at the 303 House.

            I walked up to the MARB where church is being held this morning with Carol, Barbara, and Linda. Mike drove up to campus with Mardene Francis’ family who are down from Canada. I took Bro. Francis to Priesthood with me because Mike was part of a lesson given  for Relief Society. Priesthood is now at 9:40 in the morning instead of 9:15 so I can sleep in longer.

            Sunday School is at 11. Linda and I sat together for opening exercises and then went to Dan Tinsdall’s Sunday School Class. He gave a lesson on the Heresies of the Early Christian Churches and the Great Apostasy. I think I knew more than he did from taking Early Christianity at Cal State Fullerton.

Anyway, Linda left her keys in Sunday School. Steve Sorenson told us when we came back to look for them that Janae Earl had given them to Dick Wilson. So, we walked over to Dick Wilson’s place, and he said that he had given them to Mike, which kind of made me mad as that he saw us before we left campus and could have saved us a lot of unnecessary walking around.

            I took Linda home and then came back to my new place and fixed a hamburger for dinner. Mike was over at Mardene’s for most of the day.

Sacrament was at 5 this afternoon and I went and picked Linda up, Mike gave the opening prayer and Mardene led the singing. Then members of the congregation were called up to bear their testimonies.

22 April 1974 Monday

I was able to get a lot done today. I took Mike Allred down to Orem to get his Red Volkswagen Bug fixed and ready to drive back home. Then I went over to the house where Linda Prindle now lives with Cathy Nelson and picked her up to do some errands.

We first walked to the Deseret Savings and Loan bank where I took out some $10 so I could pay back Linda and Mike the money I borrowed from them. I later went to the phone company, and they are coming out tomorrow to install and hook up the phone I had transferred to my new place.

            We then walked up onto Campus and went to the Bookstore to get a pin for the wrist band of her watch and then over to the BYU Post Office to buy some stamps. While there we came across Carol Starr, and we visited for a while about our new beginnings.    

From there the three of us  walked to the Cougareat and bought some ice cream. We sat around to chat, talking about our new places, old times, the future of Mardene Francis and Mike’s relationship, and of needing to find work.

            Speaking of work, we went to the Smoot Administration Building where Linda had some transcripts sent off to Washington and Carol and I went to the unemployment office. We didn’t find anything. We then went over to the Faculty Office Building where I turned in my pre-registration for Spring Term and picked up a ticket for the Junior Proficiency Test, I have to take to graduate in August. It’s on May 11th at 7 in the morning! Ugh!

            After that we walked down to the Seville to see Mardene and Barbara Smith for a bit, then took Linda home about 4 in the afternoon. When I came back to my place, Mike wanted me to take him up to Orem to pick up his car. He and Mardene went to the show tonight and saw “Where the Red Fern Grows.” When he came home at 10 tonight, we got into a quarrel about nothing really. I cooled off and went to bed by 12”30 in the morning, disappointed that Mike has no interest in doing anything together before he leaves on Wednesday. He said he went apartment hunting today and said he night stay at the Hostel next fall, but I won’t hold my breath. I think he wants us to leave mad at each other.

23 April 1974 Tuesday

I was up about 9:30 this morning and did some more unpacking  and reading. At 12:30 this afternoon, Ken Lewis came over with his step son Mikey and asked if I would babysit while he and Nancy went shopping. They had moved into one of the Married Couples unit here at the Hostel. I said I would, as that Mike Allred and Linda Prindle went to a temple session together and I had to stay home anyway waiting for the telephone man to come and hook up the phone in Apartment 8.

            Yesterday Mike said he went apartment hunting a bit, but all the four-man units are going to be $55 in the fall and $40 in the Spring and Summer and he thought that the Hostel was still the nicest of the apartments he looked at. I asked why not stay here at the Hostel and stay within the Branch boundaries. Seville is just across the street and next fall all your old friends will return. It’s better than moving to a strange place, to live among strangers. I said we don’t have to live together. It is really hard for me to see Mike go like this, but I need to find some strength elsewhere.

            When I was done babysitting Mikey Shelley, Mike and Linda came over to the new place and Mardene Francis soon came over also to see Mike. Linda left shortly after that, even though I think she wanted to talk to me, but Mardene coming over prevented that.

            Mike and I spent some time together before I left at 7 in the evening to go over to Ken and Nancy’s place to visit. Mike was fixing Mardene a steak dinner anyway and I didn’t want to stick around for their last time together.

Nancy wasn’t home so I went over to see Denise Smith instead. just to gossip. We haven’t seen each other in a long time. She wanted all the news about Mike and Mardene and what was going on between Linda and Me. She told me some about her new boyfriend Steve Fox. I guess Chris Burt is going to move in with Denise at the Apollo next fall. She said all the girls are being kicked out of the 303 House including Marta because they never kept it clean.

            I went to bed at 10:30 and Mike was gone. He came home about 1 in the morning and woke me up because he needed to talk about his romance with Mardene or lack thereof.

Additional Material

Gay activist Mark Segal's trial on trespassing charges for disrupting The CBS Evening News began. He had interrupted Walter Cronkite to protest CBS's portrayal of Gays. Minutes later, Cronkite delivered CBS's very first report on a gay protest when he recounted the incident to viewers with his characteristic grace and reserve. Segal was convicted and fined $450.

24 April 1974 Wednesday

Mike Allred didn’t leave today after all because of some complications. This morning after a good night sleep, a morning talk between us developed into a tension quarrel again. But it solved itself soon enough. Mike said he saw President Warner yesterday for his Temple recommend but wasn’t able to get a hold of our Stake President Smith. He was able to see him today so there’s nothing keeping him here any longer,

            This afternoon, Mike asked if I wanted to go out and get a bite to eat with him. We went to the Golden Apple Buffet where we stuffed ourselves. The Golden Apple is one of those buffet places where you can eat all you want.

            Afterwards we stopped at Deseret Industries Thrift Store to see if any good stuff had come in. We laughed to see our old TV  set which we had them haul away last Friday out on display.

            I wrote a letter to Bill Hall today and will send it out tomorrow, I didn’t do much else in the afternoon just visited with Janae Earl the Hostel Manager about Mike maybe staying this fall.

 Mardene invited Mike over for dinner at 7:30 this evening and I went over to the Seville to visit with Mary Beth Powers who just came back from Virginia. I stayed for about an hour catching up then over to see Barbara Smith and Cindy Meyers in apartment 27. I found out that that Barbara Abney who I used to home teach is now living with Cindy Meyers. Barbara has a TV  so I might be back over more than I thought.

            I called Linda Prindle up and she said she was bone tired from work, so we didn’t talk long. This is Mike’s last night here in Provo.

25 April 1974 Thursday

Today was a very long day and lonesome day for me. I was up at 8:30 this morning along with Mike Allred as he prepared to pack up for home. Actually, he had his bags and boxes packed for 5 days but he had to now pack it all into his red Volkswagen. He managed it even if it took over an hour. Juan Carlos the Penguin had a place of honoring riding shot gun in the front seat.

            Mardene Francis came over to say goodbye, but he walked her back to the Seville not wishing for a scene. Right before he was ready to leave, Mike took me into the bedroom, and we prayed together fulfilling his last promise to me that he would before leaving. It was hard to see him go but he left by 10 this morning and then he was gone. The place seemed so empty. I wonder if I will ever see him again.

            The rest of the morning I finished cleaning up the old place and locking up Apartment 7 and handing in the keys. It’s not home anymore. That chapter is closed.

So, I started cleaning up my new home  when about 11, Mardene Francis and Barbara Smith came over. They wanted me to go on a picnic out in Provo Canyon. I said I would because Mardene was taking Mike’s leaving very hard. We asked Linda Prindle to join us, but she went kite flying instead with friends from her new place.

            We went to Vivian Park and had a nice picnic lunch the girls had prepared and then we took a little hike. It was rather fun even without Mike being here. I fell into a mud hole but still it was rather a good time. Back in Provo, we stopped at A & W Hamburger Stand where we had root beer floats.

            I just got home when Mom and Dad had arrived. I had a suspicion they would be in today because I was cleaning the apartment and making up beds for their arrival. They met Janae Earl  who was talking to them when I pulled up in my Pinto. It was about 4:30 in the afternoon and I had to get cleaned up to get the mud off of me. before we could do anything

            Mom and Dad unpacked their car and moved into my bedroom, and I used the couch. They even brought up my old small portable TV set with them for me and I was sure glad to get it. Then in the late afternoon we went up to Brigham Young University where I showed them some of the major buildings. We went to Wilkinson Center to eat dinner. Mom had lost a lot of weight from her surgery and is down to 218 pounds from 298 that she was. Dad seems really, really ready to receive the Gospel. He’s reading the Book of Mormon and once he receives a testimony of Joseph Smith, I’m sure he will join the church.

26 April 1974 Friday

I slept on the couch last night while Mom and Dad had the bedroom. I was up at 7 this morning to go with Mom and Dad up to the Wilkinson Center for breakfast. Afterwards Mom took me grocery shopping and bought me nearly $30 worth of food. Mom made a hair appointment for 11 and Dad and I went to get gas. It’s about 45 cents a gallon now. We picked Mom up at 12:30 this afternoon from the hair dresser and came back to the apartment to fix some sandwiches for lunch.

            After we ate, I went with Mom and Dad up to Salt Lake City to spend the day sightseeing. We spent much of the afternoon taking the tour at Temple Square. We went through the Assembly Hall, The Tabernacle, and the Visitor Center. We spent all in all about 3 hours at Temple Square. Mom and Dad were really impresses, I could tell. The Spirit will be with them soon, I know. Oh, what could be more blessed than to see my own Father hold the of God in Righteous Dominion. I think they are starting to understand there is a better way of life.

 It rained a little on us but cleared up. They had planned on spending the night in Salt Lake, but I convinced them it was foolish to waste their money on a motel when Provo isn’t that far away. Besides, they had just spent $30 on groceries for me. When we came back home from salt Lake we went back to the Wilkinson Center again to eat dinner. They really enjoy the food there.

Mom and Dad were tired, so they  spent the remainder of the evening watching TV while  at 7:30 I went over to see Mardene Francis. We went to the show and saw Fantastic Planet which was a very strange show. We were able to talk a little about Mike Allred who dominated our conversation.

Additional Material

 Fantastic Planet was this 1973 animated tale that followed the relationship between the small human-like Oms and their much larger, blue-skinned oppressors, the Draags, who rule the planet of Ygam.

27 April 1974 Saturday

I didn’t get up until 8 this morning and Mom and Dad had already left to eat breakfast at Sambo's. While they were out, I showered and got dressed for the day. At 10 after they returned, we again went up to Salt Lake City to see what we had missed. yesterday. It was cloudy out and looked like rain for most of the day.

            We went to Salt Lake by going through Provo Canyon where stopped  to see Bridal Veil Falls then to Heber to see the backside of Mount Timpanogos. We came on down Parley’s Way into Salt Lake Valley. They loved it because it snowed in the canyon. Mom enjoyed it but as for me I am tired of the snow.

            I took them across from Parley’s Way down Emigration Canyon where we stopped at the This Is The Place monument. Then we drove up to the State Capitol where a bunch of black folks in military uniforms were doing something, maybe a protest? So, after that we went to the Daughters of the Utah Pioneers Museum. Mom was looking at a whole wall of tea pots and coffee pots that were brought across the plains and Mom said, “I thought Mormons weren’t allowed to drink coffee or tea.” I had no answer for that.

            After we left went then went to tour Brigham Young’s Beehive House. Mom enjoyed that. From there we went to Trolley Square to look around and to find a place to eat. It just looked like a hippie hangout to me. We ate at this ice cream parlor and ordered Pastrami Sandwiches and later had ice-cream cones to go. Mom said it was the best ice cream she ever had. They sure were good.

            We finished sightseeing by 2:30 this afternoon and decided to head back down to Provo which we arrived home about an hour later. I could see that my new roommate has moved in, but I haven’t met him yet but probably will soon. I hope he doesn’t get mad about my parents staying here.

There at the Hostel we watched some TV all evening and visited . We watched the Manchurian Candidate that was on the Saturday Night Movie. I was disappointed that Mom and Dad didn’t get to meet Mike Allred. The only roommate of mine they had ever met was Ken Lewis last summer.

I went to bed at 11 tonight after Mom and Dad did. I really haven’t had time to miss Mike or the other kids yet. Mike is the only one whose absence, I feel the most deeply because we shared the same bedroom  for 9 months and now there’s no one to say goodnight to anymore.

Additional Material

The Manchurian Candidate is a cold war thriller where some Korean War POW are brainwashed to assassinate the president starring Lawrence Harvey and Frank Sinatra

28 April 1974 Sunday

Today is the first time Mom and Dad ever attended a meeting of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints and had a taste of Mormonism. While sleeping on the couch, my roommate came in about 5 in the morning, but I didn’t get to see him in the dark.

            My parents were up at 6 and they went out for breakfast. I had called Linda Prindle up last night to remind her that I would pick her up for church which I did at 9:20. Church began at 9:40 with Priesthood and Relief Society.

            Linda Prindle took Mom to Relief Society, and I took Dad to Priesthood. The lesson was given by Rob Robison on taking Oaths. President Warner was in Priesthood, but Bro. Gardner from the High Council was also there, and he presided over the meeting.

            After Priesthood was over, we met up with Linda and Mom and attended Sunday School. Mom said she enjoyed Relief Society. In Sunday School, Dan Tindal was sustained as Executive Secretary of Sunday School and Chuck Swan gave a good 2 and ½  talk on our potentials using the example of a black walnut growing into a huge walnut tree. We went to Sheila Ford’s class, and she gave a pretty good lesson on the value of having friends.

            After we came back to the apartment, I finally met my new roommate who hadn’t attended church but had slept in. His name is Mark Miguel and is a Navajo Indian from Tucson, Arizona. He had an Indian friend from Duchene  friend named Ansel  also staying with him, so we invited the both of them to come join us for dinner, which they did. Linda stayed for dinner also but afterwards fell asleep on the couch. Mom and Dad took a nap in my bedroom.

            I went across the street to see Mardene Francis and to hear whether she had heard from Mike Allred, but she wasn’t around, so I visited with Cindy Meyers. She is changing her appearance and becoming more feminine instead of tom boyish.

            We had to be back at Sacrament by 5 this afternoon where President Warner conducted the meeting. We had a High Council man  talk to us on following authority within the church. Cathy Nelson and Dan Farrow were the other speakers.

            After Church, I drove Linda home about 7 this evening. Mom and Dad watched some TV before they went to bed. They said they would go to church in Garden Grove next Sunday.

Additional Material

Mark Miguel was a very effeminate Navajo Native American who wore fake turquoise rings on all his fingers. He was probably Gay although I did not want to acknowledge it because he was what I would have called a sissy. He kept a “friend” the entire time I lived with him who was not on the lease but slept in Mark’s bedroom and used the apartment to hang out. I think they may have been lovers.

29 April 1974 Monday

Today was a long busy day. I was up at 7 to go with Mom and Dad up to the Wilkinson Center for breakfast. Afterwards I showed them the bookstore. Donna had given my $10 for my birthday and Mom gave me $25 which all will go towards my schooling.

            Mom and Dad left at 10 this morning to head back to California. They were going to go across Nevada to Northern California to see my Uncle and Aunt R.L and Jerrie Williams but they couldn’t get a hold of them, so  they decided just to return by way of St. George.

            After they left for home, I cleaned the place up and then went to the grocery store. I bought some bread and some okra seeds because I started to plant a garden in the back below the porch in planters there. I also had to take Cindy Meyers to Orem for a job interview. When I came home, I finished planting, squash, okra, and cantaloupe seeds. I hope they will grow.

            At 1 in the afternoon, I went on campus to register for Spring Term that starts tomorrow. The preregistration sure makes it a snap now.

When I came home, Linda Prindle called. She and Mardene Francis wanted to go shopping and I just let them take the Pinto while I stayed home and watched Star Trek. When they returned with the car, I had to take Barbara Smith up to the Management House where she will be living over the summer.

It didn’t take long and for the remainder of the evening I finished writing up my notes on the Fenter Family history and then watched TV. Leon Uris’ novel QBVII was made into a movie.      I went to bed at 11 tonight after a long day.

            I am so glad my parents came up to visit. I love them so much even if I do fight with them occasionally. I learn something new about them each time I see them I guess because I see them now as an adult and not as their child.

            I feel Mike Allred’s absence more keenly this night as I prepare for bed. As long as Mom and Dad were here, I slept on the couch but now that I am here alone in my bedroom, I miss his association and presence.

            I love Provo in the Spring with yellow dandelions bespeckling the new green lawns. The red tulips, and the yellow daffodils all proclaiming that Spring is here, and winter is over. There is a smell in the air from the cottonwoods that penetrate the nostrils with renewal and the freshness of life. I never had this experience in California.

Additional Material

QBVII was a TV miniseries starring Anthony Hopkins about the trial of a Polish doctor who collaborated with the Nazis during the Holocaust .

30 April 1974 Tuesday

            I woke up this morning at 7 and decided just to get on up and on with the day. I said my prayers, showered, and cleaned myself up. From 8 until 10 I typed up family histories some, then went up to school to do some more research. I didn’t find much.

            I came home at 1:30 in the afternoon and tried to watch TV some. My roommate Mark Miguel did some shopping today. He seems like a really nice guy, very friendly, and courteous.

 Linda Prindle came over but only stayed until 3 when I made her go home for her own good as she was getting weak. The most important event of the day was Linda Prindle coming over about 2:30 in the afternoon to talk. It renewed my deep feelings for her. She is such a frightened scared little girl, and I must help her return to Heavenly Father. I cannot harden my heart towards her when I look into her eyes.

I watched a little more TV until it was time for me to go up to BYU to attend my first class in over 5 months. It was my History 270 class on Issues in American History that I have with Bro. D L Chandler from 5 in the afternoon until 7:30 in the evening. I have to get an A out of this class! So, I participated a lot and I hope I will do well.

            I walked home along the Inspiration Walk path. It was so beautiful and pleasant to hear the creek flowing again. When I arrived at the apartment, I fixed some supper. Then Cindy Meyers came over and wanted to use my car. I said she could but only if Mardene Francis would take her because I wanted to finish watching QBVII. It would be nice if the girls would offer to pay for gas, but they never do.

            In the mail, I received a letter from my Aunt Minnie Williams. I had written my great aunt Essie Word yesterday. I need to get back on the ball and start writing people again, especially Bill Hall and Wayne Tuck out in the Mission fields.

            I felt better about myself today than I have had in a long time. I think it’s because I am back on track with my life again. I need to make an appointment to see President Warner about having a Patriarchal Blessing done. I need to know whether I am to fulfill a full-time mission before marriage.

Additional Memoirs

My Aunt Minnie Lee Williams was born prematurely on Christmas Eve 1929. She was high functioning but developmentally slow. She never married and lived as a spinster with my Grandma and Grandpa for most of her life except when she worked as a caretaker for some elderly person. She was a kind and sweet individual and never much matured than teenager. I adored her as she was very affectionate to me as a child often taking me to matinee movies just the two of us.

 

MAY

In May I was back in the swing of attending classes while working. I was very lonely much like I was a year ago in May even though I was in Provo. The only person I cared about was Mike Allred and he was gone. Linda Prindle and I also began to drift apart as she was no longer part of by Family Home Evening Group. My only official roommate was Mark Miguel who was gone much of the time with his boyfriend Ansel. We rarely interacted and I think he kept his distance from me not knowing whether he could trust me. I avoided him also because he reminded me of all that I was trying to repress within me. I don’t remember Mark and Ansel ever attending church or family prayers.

1 May 1974 Wednesday

Mom called to say they arrived home all right. They came in yesterday but too tired to do much. She said the Missionaries were coming over this Friday and they would go to church with them on Sunday.

            I paid off May and August rent today. That left me with the grand total of $34 in the bank until I find work. I had to drop my Youth Leadership class because it interfered  with my other classes. They wanted me to go on three 3-day campout field trips and I couldn’t do that. I like my instructor Bro. Luthy for my English 321 class much better the teacher I had last time.

It was such a warm pretty day today. I had a letter from my Aunt Minnie yesterday. It didn’t say much for news.

I did some genealogical research in the evening on Maggie Crawford’s family line. She was my Grandma Johnson’s grandma. I’m trying to dig them up.

Later in the evening Mardene Francis came over and we talked about Mike Allred and Linda Prindle for about 2 hours. I wonder whether Linda really loves me or if it’s her insecurities and her sense of duty to get married that is the cause of our relationship? Is that what is making her afraid to lose me?

I felt a closeness with Heavenly Father today and feel I should ask President Warner soon to be interviewed for a Patriarchal Blessing.

Additional Material

The first Gay rights demonstration in Portugal took place, protesting laws which oppress homosexuals.

2 May 1974 Thursday

Today I was up at 9 this morning and studied for my History 270 class for most of the morning. I went on campus at 2 in the afternoon and mailed off a letter to Mike Allred and did some genealogical research. I found the Persers and Carters in the 1870 Census of Davis County, Texas. My great grandmother Granny Rose was a Perser, and her mother was a Carter. Davis later was renamed Cass County.

            I went to my History 270 Class at 5 and stayed until it was over at 7:30 this evening. When I came home, I made some chili for supper and watched some TV. Bro Bill Mursett and Bro. Dick Wilson came over about 9:30 tonight to do their Home Teaching visit. They just wanted to get acquainted with those who are here for this Spring Term.

So often I get caught in the world that I forget to write what is most dear and true. Praise be to the Almighty God for showing me the way unto the true religion. The Gospel of Jesus Christ is contained fully and expressively in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints which said church contains the Holy Priesthood of God and the keys to all the sacred and holy ordinances of God. This Gospel being the true religion. I am steadfast and unswerving in declaring it unto all for if God be head of the church He is with and for us and if God be for us who can stand against us. Hearken unto the voice of reason that of the Spirit of Holiness for it proclaims unto the world that Jesus of Nazareth  Him Crucified he is the Living God the Everlasting Christ. And in Him comes unto the children of man the glory of salvation and exaltation.

            I believe in God the Father He who lived as I do live, Him that made perfect was Himself made God, resurrected unto Salvation and exaltation with a corporal body and of flesh and bones, passion, and parts, sealed unto our Heavenly Mother unto perfection whereby their unity, spirit was organized, and their seed increased.

            I believe in the Son of God, Jesus of Nazareth, born of the Virgin Mary and witnessed of by the Holy Ghost, Him who is God of Israel, the Great I Am Jehovah, who by the power of God brought the creation into being and in fulfillment of oaths and covenants sealed in heaven, suffered under Pontius Pilate, crucified by the Jews, resurrected on the third day by God, ascended into Heaven to sit on the Right-hand side of God until He should come again Glory.

            I believe in the Holy Ghost, He who witnesses unto the world that Jesus is the Christ and by him is grace transmitted unto man.

            I believe in Lucifer the Fallen Star who by willful and open rebellion unto God became Satan Prince of Hell and earth.

            I believe that Joseph Smith was a Prophet of God who bore witness of the Father and of the Son and by the power and Grace of God translated the Book of Mormon and Restored the Gospel of Jesus Christ unto a dying world.

            I believe in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints that it is the Lord’s one true catholic church holding the keys of the sealing powers of the Priesthood of God to bring Exaltation unto the living and the dead.

            I believe in Faith on the Lord Jesus Christ and in repentance and the Miracle of Forgiveness and in baptism  by water and by fire and in the laying on of hands for the reception of the Holy Ghost.

            I believe that President Spencer W Kimball is a living prophet of God and his mouthpiece  upon the Earth and that all past prophets and all future Presidents of the church are the Lord’s anointed servants also.

            I believe in the Book of Mormon as the firm Iron Rod written by Ancient American Prophets sealed up until our Dispensation heralded by the Angel Moroni translated by the Prophet Joseph and preached unto the ends of the world.

            I believe in the Bible, the Doctrine and Covenants and the Pearl of Great Price also as the word and will of God. Amen.

Additional Memoirs

I was Living with the very effeminate Mark Miguel and my longing for Mike Allred made me double down on affirming my Mormon spirituality. I was also back to cruising the Harris Fine Arts building men’s rooms on the upper floors. I wasn’t being sexually active, but I was putting myself in places where I knew homosexuals frequented. I blamed these visits on a weakness of character and temptations by the adversary when in reality I was lonely and just wanted to experience physical affection from a male.

3 May 1974 Friday

I am completely penniless now and work must come soon. A $19 phone bill, more or less, jeopardized my financial situation. However Heavenly father has made my life so rich.

I received two letters in the mail today, one from Bill Hall and the other from Piper Ballou. Piper mainly wrote to apologize for not saying goodbye and to let me know she has broken it off with Richard Holmes. Bill wrote that he is having a successful mission. He’s been out for 9 months now. I miss him.

            Today I was realizing how great and blessed it would be to be advanced to a Priest or an Elder so that I might baptize my own parents if they are ready to accept the Gospel and should ever join the church. I have been trying to get a hold of Dan Tindall to make an appointment to see President Warner for an interview for a Patriarchal Blessing.

            I went with Mardene Francis to a Faculty Recital tonight in the Harris Fine Arts Building. It was good to get out and enjoy the talents that we as God’s children do have.

            What changes are wrought for me? By what measure am I to be judged? Is there a destiny for one such as I, a sinner. Is there a vain hope of glory? Reality seems like a fleeting dream. I know that I have seen an Angel of God and he bade me come  and join the Kingdom of God. I know I have been deceived and lied to by the Father of All lies that I might not accomplish the furthering of that kingdom. I know that my family  and my seed shall do their part  as they so covenant in the world before. Did I then give my parents life for the life  they gave me? Who are these children coming down glory trailing from their feet, those I call friend?

Additional Material

The phrase “Who are these children coming down” was influenced by lyrics from Saturday’s Warrior. Who are these children coming down,

Coming down like gentle rain through darkened skies?

With glory trailing from their feet as they go.

And endless promise in their eyes? These are the few, the warriors save for Saturday

To come the last days of the world these are they on Saturday

These are the strong, the warriors rising in their might

To win the battle raging in the hearts of man on Saturday

4 May 1974 Saturday

I called Mardene Francis up this morning to see if she still wanted to hike up to the Y on Wymount. She did, so I spent the rest of the morning cleaning up and fixing a lunch to eat upon the side of the Mountain.

At 11 we went and parked at the Cedarcrest apartments and hiked the rest of the way up. I was not in shape, let me tell you. I hadn’t run since before General Conference, and I could tell it hiking up. It was really steep but fun. I got a little sunburned from the hike though.

            After we hiked down off the mount, we drove around town some and talked. I thought we had a good time. We got home about 2:30 in the afternoon and Mardene asked me over to go swimming  which I also did.

            I was really pooped after all that and then later in the evening Mardene borrowed my car to go grocery shopping while I stayed in and watched TV and did some studying. It was a pretty Spring day and the view from Wymount was magnificent.

Additional Material

The Loco-Motion by Grand Funk was the number 1 song for 2 weeks until May 17th.

5 May 1974 Sunday

Today was Fast and Testimony Sunday and it was quite an eventful day. First of all, I went to church with Mardene Francis because I made Linda Prindle stay home because she hadn’t taken her medicine correctly yesterday and I knew she couldn’t last through the meeting having not eaten anything this morning. So, I asked her to stay home and rest until Sacrament Meeting which was at noon.

            During Priesthood, I asked President Warner if I could see him today and he said that as soon as Priesthood begins, I should slip away, and he would see me then. I did so and then asked him if I could be interviewed for a Patriarchal Blessing. He said he would but said I would have to wait until Tuesday, after he could talk to Stake President Smith before he could know for sure whether I was worthy. I was scared to death but excited at the same time about the prospects of getting my blessing. I will really have to get myself spiritually prepared for that day.

            Right after Priesthood, I went straight to Sunday School class. Since it was Fast and Testimony, Sacrament began at noon, and I sat between Barbara Smith and  Linda directly behind Mardene. So, it was almost like having our old family represented.

            We were assigned to our new Family Home Evening Groups today. Actually, my apartment 8 was assigned into 2 different families so I guess I will have to make a choice.

 During the meeting, Linda got up and left. I thought it was because she was ill, but I found out later  that wasn’t the case. Anyway, after the meeting was over, I went to the genealogical library section and did some research, but I didn’t find a lot. Nothing in fact.

            When I came home, I fixed something to eat and did my Book of Mormon lesson finally. I have 5 more to go if I’ll get on the ball. I then tried calling Linda to see how she was feeling but each time I called she wasn’t home.

            In the evening Denise Smith dropped by to visit and said she was just back from visiting with Mardene  and she wanted to know what was going on between her and me. I said, “exactly nothing” and Denise said, “that’s what I thought, but Mardene is under the impression that you are hustling her.”  I said, “Well then, I guess I better stop being a nice guy and stop seeing her so much if she thinks that. I guess I should have made my intentions more clear that I was just trying to be nice as I know she is lonesome for Mike Allred.”

            Elder Dilworth Young came to BYU for a Ten Stake Fireside, but I didn’t go. President Nixon is sure giving it a go about his Oval Office Transcripts. I may be naïve, but I am going to believe that he is not guilty and that he is telling the truth. The presidency is an honorable office and I believe Nixon to be an honorable man.

6 May 1974 Monday

Today I am completely and absolutely without funds, not poor by any means, just without capital shall we say. This morning before going up to campus, I walked over to Deseret Federal Savings and Loan and closed out my savings account. I only had $35 in it anyway. I first opened that account last October 4th when I received my student loan. Well, I didn’t look for work today, but I did pay off my phone bill which was about $20. So, I only have $15 left to my name.

            After I came home from my English 321 Class, I went grocery shopping; so now I have no money. I bought a lot of staples so I hope I will make out until I do find work.

I finally paid to get my pictures developed from last school year and I love them. They are so good of the family having fun. I wrote Mike Allred again and sent a letter off to him with duplicates in it. I know he will appreciate them. I mailed off several letters today, to my sister Donna, to Aunt Minnie, to Mike, to Bill Hall, and to Piper Ballou. I still have to write Wayne Tuck. I guess I will tomorrow some time.

            In the evening I went to my temporary Family Home evening Group out to Provo Canyon to sit around a campfire. I met some new people and got reacquainted with a few old ones. Former sisters Mary Beth Powers and Judy Brammer are both in my new group. I met a girl named Jennifer Holland who has a fun personality like Mary Beth.

I didn’t get home until 9 tonight and then I went over to Denise Smith to talk about the misunderstanding with Linda Prindle and Mardene Francis, but I didn’t get to talk much before Marta Gillings came over.

After Marta left, Denise came over about 10 tonight and we sat in the living area and visited with Edgar Sullivan, a kid who lives here in the apartments. I did find out from Denise that Linda and Mardene have been comparing their stories and they think I have been playing them. I don’t think Linda and I are going to make a go of it now if she thinks that is my character. It seems like everything is going against us. May be we are just not right for each other.

It was a warm night out.

7 May 1974 Tuesday

This evening I received a recommend form President Warner so I can get a Patriarchal Blessing. I am so happy and excited inside. It’s for 9 in the morning on Sunday the 19th of May. I was baptized on the 20th of May 2 years ago.

I also found work today. I’m working back at the Cougareat Grill cooking  them Quickie Burgers. I’ll be working with Keith Haines again.

            I had to read 50 pages today for my history 270 class on the American Revolution. That took a bit of time. I went to the Smith’s Field House and ran some but I’m really out of shape, and I need to get back into it. It was good to sit in the sauna again.

            I received a letter from my Uncle and Aunt J.W. and Pauline Johnson, giving me addresses of kinfolk in Tennessee so I could write them for information on the Johnson side of the family. They said however don’t expect that they will write back. Oh well.

            Since I don’t get out of class until 7:30 in the evening and home by 8 on Tuesdays and Thursdays, it seems like the whole night goes by so fast. It was a warm day today.

8 May 1974 Wednesday

I woke up at 7:30 this morning and got ready for my first day back to work. My hours are from 9 in the morning to 1:30 in the afternoon, Monday through Friday with the weekends off. I work primarily with an older married lady named Marietta Clark who is originally from Fullerton, California. She knows who Brother Thompson is from the Institute of Religion there. She is very friendly and encouraging.           

Work was tiring but probably not as tiring as what Mike Allred is doing working on his father’s farm.

            After work I went to my English class, then on home where I fixed a hamburger and potato salad for a late lunch. I also did my laundry up.

I had a letter from Mom in the mail. She said that she and Dad went to Church at the new chapel on Valley View.

            Another coincidence is that Jim Sumsion, a Returned Missionary  who lives here at the Hostel in apartment 4, said he knew Bill Hall in the Mission Field. Bill Hall was actually trained by him even as his Senior Companion. That was really something. So, we sat and talked about Bill for a while. He said he has slides of him and Bill from his mission that he’ll show me sometime. I said great.

9 May 1974 Thursday

Up again at 7:30 to get ready to go into work at 9 this morning. That’s going to be my routine for a while. I worked until 2 this afternoon doing a breakfast and lunch shift on the grill but at least I don’t have to close up at night.

Afterwards Barbara Smith came up to work and asked if I’d drive her to the west side of Provo which I did.

            Later in the afternoon I did not go to my English 377 class but rather stayed home, read the assigned reading to keep up with it. I cleaned my room up as well.

            In the news Canada lost its government yesterday and today the judiciary committee of congress is preparing to indict President Nixon once more concerning his White House Tapes.

            It was a warm summer like day.

10 May 1974 Friday

At work, Marietta Clark was in today. She’s in charge of stocking the salad. Steve Brinkman had to leave at 10 this morning so it was a little hectic, but the old knack came back, and I was okay. Marietta is a lot of fun to work with also. She’s so motherly. I also met this guy today named John Wagner who works on the fountain side with Rob the kid I worked with last fall. I’ve seen him around. You can’t miss him because of the girls wanting him to wait on them.

John P. Wagner Hogh School Picture 1969

            I left work at 2 this afternoon and then rushed to my English 321 class without going home to change. We are studying Phonemes now and we have a test already over the material next Wednesday.

            When I came home at 4, I watched some Star Trek on TV to unwind and news until about 6 when I left to go buy some hamburger buns for a Branch Party at the Seville which began at 6:30. It was a meet your Visiting and Home Teachers party that lasted until 8:30. I home teach no one still but my Home Teachers are Rob Robison and Tim Garbett.

            President Warner and his family was at the Branch hamburger BBQ party, and he looked like he was enjoying it. Steve and Janae Earl talked to Mark Miguel about his having his friend Ansel staying in our apartment without a contract. I don’t know what they are going to do about it.

            After the BBQ , I went swimming at 9 tonight with Kerry and Kent Smith, and Don Mott. We also played a little basketball. Then I went back home and went to bed at 10 to get some sleep for tomorrow for the big Proficiency Exam but Mark woke me up at midnight to ask to borrow my car and then the phone rang at 2 in the morning, but I didn’t answer it. I had strange dreams also.

11 May 1974 Saturday

I was up at 6 this morning to get ready for my Junior Proficiency Test scheduled at 7. Before leaving the apartment, I called Mom at 6:30 and asked if she could send me some money because I won’t get paid until the 24th and I have to pay an application fee for a graduation check by the 17th and I have absolutely no money. The fee is $12.

            When I was up at the Joseph Smith Auditorium to take the test there was already a long line, I had to stand in. The test was delayed until 7:30  to accommodate the amount of people taking the test. I have exactly no idea how well I did on the test, and I won’t get the results until May 24th on whether I passed or failed. The first half of the test required a written essay, but the second half was multiple choice. The test was similar to the ACT Test I took back in 1969 to get into Cypress College.

            Afterwards I was mentally exhausted, and I didn’t do anything for the rest of the day which was really kind of nice. It’s still kind of lonely here without Mike Allred and having the old family friends around. You really don’t know what you have until it’s gone. Mike’s been gone 2 weeks now. Mardene Francis hasn’t heard a word from him, and I never expect to hear from him. How hard it is for those left behind.

            Well President Nixon says he will not give up the White House without a fight. I wish the press would just get off his back. They must really have a guilty conscience themselves to be so harsh on Nixon’s sins.

There are so many Secret Combinations that would like to see this government and the Constitution  be over thrown but the Lord will fulfill the words of the prophets in His own time. It is prophesized that the Constitution will hang by a thread and the Elders of Israel will save it. The Constitution was inspired by the Almighty God whereby the True Religion might flourish again in the world, but Satan and his Angels would like no better than to overthrow it. I am looking forward to Him who will come to rule in Justice and Mercy forever. “Now unto the King Eternal, immortal, invisible, the only wise God, be honor, and glory forever and ever Amen- 1st Timothy 1:17”

12 May 1974 Sunday

I was up at 8:30 this morning to get ready for church. I went to Priesthood too early at 9:15 because I forgot the new schedule starts us at 9:40. In Priesthood, Tim Garbett was called to be the 1st Counselor to Bill Mursett in the 4th Quorum of Elders. He was set apart by Bro. John Gardner. Ken Keiser was called to be his 2nd Counselor and was set apart by Bro. Dick Wilson. I was really surprised by this calling . Chuck Swan was called to be Secretary and was set apart by Bro. Bill Mursett. Bro. Steve Earl was the instructor today and he gave an excellent  lesson about dedicating ourselves to the Lord 100 percent before we can be free of sin.

            Right after Priesthood I attended Sunday School. I sat with Mardene Francis, Linda Prindle, and Barbara Smith until I was surprised that Chuck Swan came up to me and asked me to help pass the Sacrament. I asked if President Warner said I could, and Chuck said that he did. I felt so warm inside. So, I went and sat on the front row happy to be exercising my Priesthood once more.

            Randy Gillian conducted Sunday School and Jennifer Holland gave a 2 ½ minute talk on the evils of back biting. She related a story of how a man once slandered his neighbor  but later found out the story he told about him wasn’t true. He went to his Bishop to ask how he could make amends for what he had done. This Bishop told the man to do two things. First go up on the roof of the chapel and rip open a feather pillow in the wind. Second go pick up all the feathers. The man said he could never pick them all up and the Bishop said neither could he completely rectify what he had done. We were admonished to speak only the best about someone.

            The other 2 ½ minute talk was given by Guy Reicher who spoke on knowing Christ. If we truly love and worship someone, we try to imitate that person  and therefore if we love Christ, we should be Christ-like. After the Sacrament was passed, we were dismissed to our classes, and I went to Steve Sorenson’s who gave a lesson on Prayer and challenged each of us to make prayer more effective in our lives.

            After Sunday School, I took Mardene and Linda home, then went myself and fixed me some dinner. I do not like eating alone. I eat now only because I am bored. It clouded up this afternoon and while it did not rain, it was quite windy out.

I typed some genealogy up while waiting for Sacrament to begin at 5. Also, Jim Sumsion came by and showed me slides of Bill Hall on his Mission in North Carolina. Jim and I both love Bill. He’s a great and good man and a powerful servant of the Lord.

            At 5 in the afternoon, I went to Sacrament Meeting and President. J Reuben Clark III

. was presiding at the meeting and President Warner conducted. President Clark was there to conduct some Stake and Branch business. Bro. Steve Earl was called to be President Warner’s 2nd counselor which I was thrilled and surprised to hear. Steve and Janae Earl are fantastic people and will be great examples of Mormon Saints when they go back out into the world.

            I had the privilege of passing Sacrament to both President Clark and President Warner. Praise be to God. President Warner gave us the primary talk which was on integrity and adversity in our lives, purification, and sanctification. He warned and strictly admonished us not to talk at all of evil Spirits or be in the company of those who were doing so because the very mentioning of them can bring them into our lives. President Warner also said not to have anything to do with gambling because of evil spirits.

 We were urged to be political and sustain and pray for the President of the United States that he will preserve our liberty. It was a very inspiring and uplifting Sacrament meeting. I am grateful that I may now once gain exercise my Aaronic Priesthood as a Deacon.

13 May 1974 Monday

I fixed myself some breakfast before walking up to the Wilkinson to go to work at the Cougareat. I worked from 9 in the morning until 2 in the afternoon. When it was slow, I spent some time getting to know John Wagner better because we have so much in common. I found out that he is a convert from the Church of Christ like I am, but his Church of Christ had Sunday School like Grandma Williams’ not like my Grandma Johnson’s which does not.

            Right after work I went to my English 321 Class where we reviewed for out Mid-terms this Wednesday on Phonemes which are sounds of letters that distinguish one word from another like “pat and pad” or “Dad and tad”. Right afterwards I went to the J Reuben Clark Library and wrote an essay on the second book we were supposed to have read.

            I then came back to the apartment and fixed some supper. I wrote Mike Allred another letter and received one form Mom with $40 in it when I only asked for $20. Mom said that Donna said that I better not go on a Mission because she would not support me. Oh Well.

            I didn’t go to Family Home Evening tonight. I studied for my history 270 test of Federalism until 8 this evening then finished watching the last half of Giant with Rock Hudson and James Dean. It was pretty good, and it sure made me appreciate my Texas heritage. I am more Texan deep inside me then I realize or like to admit.

14 May 1974 Tuesday

I was up at 7:30 this morning to start another day. Instead of wasting my morning before going into work I went to the administration building to cash Mom’s check and then paid for a graduation verification. I also bought a parking sticker so I can park on campus and that will save me sometime not having to walk up to school now. I also preregistered for the Summer Term. I signed up for the History of England and English 377 Teaching English in Secondary Education that I had dropped this spring term because it was too much.

I then went into work and was there until 1:30 when I my shift was done. I came home, had some lunch, and even went to get a haircut. That costs $2.50 now when it used to be just $1.50. Everything is going up except our wages.

            In the afternoon I read  more of my assignment for the History on Federalism. Then I went to class from 5 to 7:30 this evening . We have a test next Thursday. I came back home afterwards and studied for my English 321 test tomorrow.

            I never see my roommate Mark Miguel or Ansel anymore. They come in late after I am in bed, and they sleep in until after I leave for work. I don’t know if they are even attending school. I only know they are here by the greasy mess they leave in the kitchen. Whatever they are frying they splatter grease all over the stove and counter tops leaving it to me to clean up, so it won’t  smell of old grease.

Additional Material

Bella Abzug (D-NY) and Edward Koch (D-NY) introduced HR-14752, the first Gay rights bill to be introduced into the US House of Representatives. It sought to add sexual orientation to the 1964 Civil Rights Act.

15 May 1974 Wednesday

I worked until 1:30 and then I went to my English 321 class to take an exam. I don’t know what I did on it but at least a C, or probably a B. When I came home, my roommate Mark Miguel and his buddy Ansel were gone so I watched some TV and then went to Grand Central to buy some razor blades and other things. I hadn’t been out there since I last went with Mike Allred over a month ago. I spent the evening watching Tony Curtis and Jack Lemon in “The Great Race.” It has to be one of the all-time funniest movies.

16 May 1974 Thursday

Marietta Clark was sick today, so it was just Steve Brinkman and I working for the most part. Steve and I work the grill and fryer while Marietta generally keeps the side dishes like the cold salads like the potato, macaroni, carrot and raisin, and cottage cheese and fruit stocked.

I worked until 1:30 and when I came home from work Nancy Lewis  came over with her little boy Mikey Shelley just to visit. She said that Ken didn’t get his full deposit back but only $40 because he had stored some things in the furnace room. The owners better not have taken anything out of Mike’s deposit because he never stored anything there.

I went to the store afterwards to buy some milk, vegetables, and cottage cheese. After eating some lunch, I went back to Grand Central and bought 2 record albums, “K-Tel’s 20 Power Hits from 1973” and “22 Dynamite Hits from 1972”. I shouldn’t have had but I did it on the spur of the Moment. Those songs bring back such memories for me of good times.

             I studied for my History 270 exam listening to my albums on the stereo and then went up to class. The first half of the class was taken up by the test on Federalism. The rest of the time Bro. Chandler lectured on the causes of the Civil War. Class was over at 7:30 and when I came home, I talked to Denise Smith about how she liked living at the Apollo Apartments. It’s a co-ed apartment complex but Denise said that it might open up with boys on one side and girls on the other in the fall. I am seriously considering living there if they open it up to boys. I think I am done with the Hostel.

            I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the possibility of working full time immediately after I get out of school in August to pay off my student loans and then go on a Mission before getting married. I have to wait and see what the Lord would like for me to do in my Patriarchal Blessing which is just 3 days away.

            I wrote Grandma Johnson and Mom today thanking her for the money she sent me.

17 May 1974 Friday

            Marietta Clark was sick again, so it was a busy day with just Steve Brinkman and me. After I got off work at 1:30 I went to my English 321 class, but I didn’t get much out of it as we are studying Morphology which is the study of forms of words using stems, root words, prefixes, and suffixes. After class I came home, fixed some dinner, and called Mardene Francis to come over and watch TV and find out if she had heard anything from Mike Allred. We watched Anne Bancroft and Patty Duke in the “Miracle Worker,” a movie about Helen Keller’s childhood. We also decided to make some molasses Ginger cookies which were delicious.

            Mardene stayed at the apartment watching  the Friday Night Horror Midnight Madness Movie. They showed The Revenge of the Creature from the Black Lagoon She went home at 1:30 in the morning. We talked a lot about our anticipation of graduating, about Mike Allred, and what the Lord would have us do with our lives outside in the world.

There was a shootout in Los Angeles between the police and the Symbionese Liberation Army  that killed 6 people.

Additional Material

This event was one of the largest police shootouts in U.S. history with a reported total of over 9,000 rounds of ammunition being fired (4,000 by the SLA and 5,000 by police). The Symbionese Liberation Army were confronted by more than 400 Los Angeles Police Officers, the FBI, the Los Angeles County Sherriff’s department. The California Highway Patrol and the Los Angeles Fire Department. The police were firing semi-automatic AR-15 and AR-180 rifles.

The dead died inside the home from smoke inhalation, burns and gunshot wounds. Patty Hearst was not in the house that the police fired on.

18 May 1974 Saturday

I didn’t get up until 10:30 this morning after last night’s escapade of watching the Midnight Madness Movie and staying up so late last night with Mardene Francis. I have no idea what time Mark Miguel came in or even if he did come in because his door is always shut. I don’t think he’s doing his laundry up because his room smells rank even through the door because it’s been so warm.

            This morning I fixed some waffles for breakfast and cleaned the kitchen and front room. I really feel like I am virtually living alone. About noon Mardene called and asked if I wanted to go bike riding with her and I did. So, I borrowed Nancy Lewis’ bike and Mardene rented one and it was fun just to get out and ride around. We peddled about 2 miles from Utah Lake, but never made it out that far. I actually have never been out to the Lake.

            On the way back into Provo we discovered a  Webber Bread Discount Thrift outlet store. I was excited because I like finding places that are cheaper to buy things because I have so little money to spend. Of course, I didn’t have any money to stop and buy anything but that’s beside the point.

            I dropped off Nancy’s bike and told Mardene I would take hers back to the rental place on campus because she was pooped. On the way up I encountered Debbie Holbrook, and she was looking fine. She said that Janie Posey had moved back to Deseret Towers, and I told her what I knew about the old gang. She said she would write Mike Allred.

            In the late afternoon Edgar Sullivan was doing some yard work at the Hostel in exchange for his partial rent. I messed around with him some with Mike Pitcher and Mark Solomon too who was helping him. They are good guys.

            About 9:30 Linda Prindle came over and wanted to talk after hearing that Mardene and I had been out doing stuff together. I could tell she was upset so I drove her home and we sat out in the Pinto talking about us. I don’t know if it solved anything between us. I think it’s time to break up.

Additional Material

The Streak by Ray Stevens was the number one song until June 7th. It was a comedy song about “streaking” when running nude in public places was all the rage.

19 May 1974 Sunday

Last night before going to bed I poured my heart out to the Lord beseeching him to give me a sign that my sins had been forgiven and as I prayed a warm burning  sensation  filled my  heart and then I knew I was forgiven. I also prayed to have the Lord’s spirit with me especially for this Sunday morning  when I was to have my Patriarchal Blessing.

            So, this morning I was up early and so happy because I knew I had the Lord’s spirit with me. I sang some hymns and had a long morning prayer with my Heavenly Father before going up to the Faculty Building on campus where Bro. Reed Bradford had his office. My appointment was at 9  this morning.

            Bro, Bradford was such a warm, beautiful, and spiritual man. As Stake Patriarch he asked me a few questions about myself. He asked me about my conversion story and at first, I was reluctant to tell him everything, but I could sense by the power of the Holy Ghost that here was a Man of God  who I could confide in.

            He asked me about the spiritual messenger that came to me and whether I could tell or not whether the voice was external or internal. I said I couldn’t tell but it seared into my heart as an answer to sincere prayer. Bro Bradford then asked me what form of personage was this being and I told him I could not tell because the light was too brilliant for me to discern. Bro. Bradford told me of a similar experience of a boy in India who had been baptized by Spencer W Kimball himself.

            My Patriarchal Blessing was beautiful. When Bro. Bradford placed his hands upon my head, I knew he was speaking through the power of the Holy Ghost. When I receive my Patriarchal Blessing in writing, I will write it in full in this journal, but these are the main points. The Lord revealed and blessed me that I am of the Tribe of Ephraim of a pure lineage. I will live to an old age and If I remain faithful, I will be a part of the First Resurrection. I will not be alive on the Earth at Christ’s coming like Marta Gillings, but I am glad for that because I don’t think I could bear to see the wicked consumed by fire.

            I was promised I would never have to worry about finances but other than that I was not given further information on any vocational work. I was told I would hold high church positions and that I would have the opportunity to go on a full-time mission. So that is the goal I have set for me as of now. I want to work where ever I can after graduation and pay off most of my debts and then go on a mission for the church,

            I was so grateful to my Lord for this Blessing because it confirmed that I did have a divine witness and that the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost so love me and want the best for me. After my blessing I felt like touching the sky and jumping for joy. I was also quietly happy. I missed Priesthood because I didn’t leave Bro. Bradford's office until 10.

            I met up with Chris Burt in the MARB Building waiting for Sunday School to begin. Mardene Francis, Linda Prindle, Barbara Smith, Chris, and I all sat together for the opening exercises. I went to Jon Cook’s “Essentials in the Gospel” class and afterwards I gave Mardene, Guy Rencher, and Mardene’s roommate a ride home from Sunday School.

            Then I had to come right back on campus for the General Priesthood Meeting for the 8th Stake with President Smith presiding and President J Reuben Clark III conducting. It was a Missionary Priesthood Meeting with all the topics dealing with Missionary Work here at BYU. Les Smith a 41st Branch recent convert was called upon to speak. The General Priesthood Meeting lasted from 1 to 2:30 in the afternoon and we were shown a film strip called “Meet the Mormons”.

            Afterwards I came home and fixed some dinner . I sure miss eating Sunday dinner with someone. It began to rain some this afternoon. Right before leaving for Sacrament Meeting at 5, Mom called, and I told her about my Patriarchal Blessing and how I decided to go on a mission for the church myself. She said she had a cold today and didn’t attend church in Garden Grove. She said the Seventies have been coming out to the house instead of the Missionaries and Mom and Dad liked the Missionaries better.

            At Sacrament, I came a little late because of the phone call from Mom and sat by myself in the back, President Warner was excused because of an illness and Bro. Dick Wilson and conducted, and a high council representative presided. He gave a sermon on how the church is organized and on obedience to authorities.

            After church I just came home, fixed some supper, and went to bed after writing three letters, to Bill Hall, Piper Ballou, and Michael Allred. It was about 10 at night when I finally climbed into bed after saying my prayers.

            In my prayers tonight I made a commitment to follow my Lord where ever he should lead me. I am now truly going to look to the future and not back but try to have an eye single to the glory of God and my Eternal Progression.

20 May 1974 Monday

Two years ago, today I entered the waters of baptism, but I only now feel worthy of the covenants that I made then. It rained almost all morning. I worked from 9 to 1:30. We were shorthanded because Dale Ashby was sick and didn’t show up for his shift.

            After work I went to my English class, and we finished the study of Morphology. I got a 92 on last Wednesday’s test. I hope I can get a B or an A out of this class.

            I came home at 4 in the afternoon and watched Star Trek and the news. Utah is having its Mass Meetings tonight to pick candidates for state primaries. Patricia Hearst is in the news and wanted as an armed fugitive.

            I went to Family Home Evening tonight at 7:30 and we watched a film on jogging called “Run Dick Run Jane.” I wonder how this family will be over the summer. I don’t feel close to anyone yet.

            When I came home, Mike Pitcher came over and asked me to go Home Teaching with him. I felt good about it, so I went with him. There was no mail today or any news. Pay day is this Friday. It all goes to rent and tithing.

21 May 1974 Tuesday

I walked to work this morning rather than driving so I wouldn’t get so depended on my Pinto instead of my legs. I worked from 9 to 1:30 then came home to study and read the assignment for tonight’s history class. I also fixed some dinner. As I was preparing to walk up to campus, a man called from Roosevelt, Utah asking for Ansel. I said I didn’t know where he was but referred him to President Warner. He sounded like he was in trouble.

            I was disappointed when my history paper was returned to me as I only got a 77 percent on it when I thought for sure I had aced it. Half way through class I left and went to the Richard’s PE Building where I went running to work out my frustration. I ran a half mile and saw that I had gained 10 pounds probably eating out of sheer boredom since Mike Allred a month ago. Then I went and sat in the sauna.

            Mardene Francis came over this evening as did Denise Smith to watch TV. Afterwards I  walked them home and I held family prayer over at Denise’s place.

22 May 1974 Wednesday

This morning when Steve Earl came up to fix the oven, I burnt my finger a good one on the electric stove. I kept ice on it the whole time I was at work, but it still hurt like the dickens. I worked for 9 to 1:30 in the afternoon. Paul Paystrup, my morning boss said I might have to have my hours readjusted some.

            Right after work I went to my English 321 class. It a fun class even though the subject matter is dry. We are now studying traditional grammar rules now. After class I went to the Richards’ PE building, changed into some gym clothes, and ran a half mile. I sure got out of shape fast when I stopped running with Mike Allred. I have to slowly build myself back up to at least where I was a month ago. I then sat in the sauna for a bit but was home by 5 in the late afternoon.

            I started to fry up some chicken when Rob Robison and Tim Garbett, my Home Teachers came to visit me. After our visit and lesson, they left, and I watched some TV in the evening and called Denise Smith up to talk. Mardene Francis borrowed the Pinto to go up to school for a concert while I stayed home and read Mosiah Chapters 9 through 16 before going to bed.

            Plans fell through about going to Flaming Gorge for this coming Memorial Weekend. We will try it again sometime this summer. I can hardly believe that school is actually half way over and summer will soon be here. It’s already warming up.

            I wish Mike would write either Mardene or me as neither of us have heard a word from him. It would seem from his lack of response to our letters that he doesn’t want anything to do with us, but I’d hate to believe that.

            I don’t know where money is coming from for living expenses after I pay this June Rent out of this coming paycheck. The Lord will provide.

            Patty Hearst is a wanted fugitive now for kidnapping. I thought she was in with them all along. The White House says that President Nixon won’t turn over anymore transcripts. It’s the signs of the time. The Lord warned us of these end times.

23 May 1974 Thursday

I worked as usual from 9 to 1:30 then came home afterwards to fix something to eat. I didn’t check the mail yesterday because I thought Mark Miguel had but he hadn’t. In  the mail was my grades from the Book of Mormon Home study Quiz and 2 letters, one from Mom and another from Mike Allred. The letter from Mike could have knocked me down as I had given up all hopes of ever hearing from him again. It was a good letter and after coming home from my History 270 class, I wrote him back a 6-page letter. The letter from Mike just really made my day.

24 May 1974 Friday

Well, I found out the results of my Junior Proficiency test. I passed it. That leaves me just one last hurdle towards graduating in August and that is getting my BYU grade point average up to a C. My overall grade point average is still 2.5 considering the 19 units of D’s and F’s I had my first semester during Winter Term in 1973. I think it’s pretty good. It’s just my BYU GPA that is low.

            I went into work at 9 and worked both the grill and the fountain side until 1:30. I got paid today and cleared $50.22. Forty dollars of that was spent on paying June rent. I then spent $3 on gas for the Pinto, $5.50 for groceries, 50 cents on laundry and I have $1 left until next payday. I owe $4 in tithing for the $40 Mom sent me and $5 on this check. I told Paul Paystrup I’d work Saturday and Monday for him as I need the money that’s for sure.

            After English 321, I went running at the Smith’s Field House and ran ¾ of a mile. I still can’t make quite a mile yet. I weighed in at 172 pounds. The sauna was nearly empty tonight, I guess everyone is out on a date but me.

 When I came home, I went shopping and spent most of the evening at Mike Pitcher’s apartment along with Denis Smith. Later Edgar Sullivan and Mark Solomon came over to visit and watch TV. Denise canceled out date tomorrow so she could go camping with Mark and Mike.

            Leaving Mike’s, I went over to the Seville Apartments to visit with Mardene who said she had gotten a letter from Mike Allred also. I feel like things are changing all around me. I don’t fit in anywhere.

25 May 1974 Saturday

            This morning I was woken by a phone call from a man named Lynn Harrison wanting some information Ansel, Mark Miguel’s friend. When he came over to see Ansel, I left to go do my laundry which took about an hour and a half.

By the time I cleaned up the kitchen and my bedroom, and ironed some clothes , it was time to go into work at the Cougareat. I worked in John Wagner’s place on the fountain from 1 to 5 in the afternoon. It had been a strong peaceful day until about then.

When I called Mom this evening, she said that Dad had found work at Conveyor Plant working for some Mormons. The way of the hand of God guiding us home, is a blessing to behold. Mom said Donna might have a boyfriend, I hope so.

All week I had felt good in the Lord, but now I know I had been proud, boastful, light-minded, vain, uncharitable, and judgmental and I was not nearly as strong in the Lord as I had hoped to be.

            When I was faced with temptation, I was weak as jelly and succumbed to the adversary. The Lord was very sore with me, and I felt as if I was good for nothing, having lost any value or good within me. What to do?

            I went for a walk along the Inspiration Garden path and medicated and sought the comfort of the Lord. Satan would have me destroyed. He delights in my misery. The Lord was severe with me, but I knelt in prayer, and this is the one last chance that I might yet redeem myself from my fallen state. Merciful Jehovah, God of Israel, strengthen my soul.

Holiness unto the Lord. When I came home, this day I made a solemn oath and covenant with the Lord, while kneeling in prayer not to give in to temptation. When I came home, I sealed the covenant with my blood from the palm of my hand.

Additional Memoirs

I was sitting in the men’s sauna naked when this young man started making eye contact with me. We were the only ones in the sauna, but I was extremely aroused, so I left and got dressed and started to walk home.

This boy followed me off campus and saw the apartment I went into. He came up to the door and asked if he could use my bathroom. I knew what he wanted but I let him in anyway and showed him where the bathroom was. No one was home but me, so I went into the bedroom and sat on the bed.

When the boy came out of the bathroom he went into the bedroom, pulled his pants down and push me onto the bed where he began to hump me and furtively groped me. I didn’t resist but also did not pursue having sex with him. Almost as quickly as he came, he quickly pulled his pants up and left with neither one of us climaxing.

However, I was devastated because I had put myself in a position where I felt I had betrayed my covenants again and felt like a total degenerate. In reality I was extremely lonely for human affection and contact but I saw this as a sign that I was depraved and not worthy of God’s love. I nearly had another nervous breakdown, I was nearly suicidal with guilt. After hysterically pouring my heart out for forgiveness I took a razor to the palm on my hand and cut them until they bled as a sign of blood atonement for my sin.

26 May 1974 Sunday

I was tired this morning and did not get out of bed until 8:30 so I could get ready for Priesthood. I decided to walk rather than drive up to campus because it was a warm morning. I walked by myself. I had begun a fast yesterday at nine at night and I went without food or drink until 9 tonight with a prayer on my lips to avoid temptation.

            David Farnsworth gave a lesson on marriage and during the meeting President Warner called me into his office about my desire to go on a Mission. He didn’t seem too enthusiastic about the idea, and I was dismayed to learn that I’d have to return to the Garden Grove 6th Ward in order to receive any financial support from the Elder’s Quorum. However, the thought of leaving Provo for Garden Grove almost brought me to tears. I did not want to leave this beautiful place. I love it here where I feel safe in the Gospel. But I’ll go where ever the Lord wants me to go.

            After our talk, I went to Sunday school and sat with Barbara Smith and Mardene Francis. Barbara asked me to go to a Peer Party  next Friday and I said I would. Barbara Abney gave a beautiful 2 ½ minute talk by reciting the Psalm of Nephi. I went to Jon Cook’s class on essentials of the Gospel. He asked me to explain the nature of God according to the teachings of the Church of Christ since we were studying the First Principle of the Article of Faith.

            In the afternoon I came home and worked on some of my genealogy. Took a nap and read some from James Tallmadge’s Articles of Faith.

My sister Donna called from California at 2 and we just visited about what’s going on with us. I hadn’t really talked with her in such a long to me. She said she has $1600 saved now but doesn’t know what she wants to do with it. I told her how much I loved her, and I do. I miss her very much.

            I walked with Mardene to Sacrament Meeting where Chris Brown, Bruce Brown, and the Ortons gave talks on the “Great Commandment” to love one another. In the evening I studied more from the Book of Mormon.

Additional Memoirs

Even though I was wracked with guilt, I was able to disassociate what I had done with who I wanted to be. It was emotionally draining to have this Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde type of conflict with no one to talk to about what I was going through. I dared not risked disappointing C. Terry Warner again.

27 May 1974 Monday

Today is Memorial Day and it was quite hot and humid. I found some more information out about going on a Mission. If I’m true to the Lord, I think I’ll be able to get financial support for my mission without having to return to California.

            I didn’t get out of bed until 9 this morning because I didn’t have to be into work until 10:30. Paul Paystrup had adjusted my hours to work more in the afternoon today than mornings. I agreed to work as many hours as can to be able to save my money now.

I worked 6 and a half hours until 5 and worked with Fay Roundy who was working the late afternoon shift after Marietta Clark at the salad station. She said that I might be able to get financial support from my home Ward even if I stayed  here in Provo. It’s something I definitely will have to think about.            After I left work, came home, ate some supper, and watched TV some. Cindy Meyers and her roommate borrowed the Pinto for a summer drive to get away. About 7 this evening Denise Smith, Mike Pitcher and Mark Solomon came over to the apartment. They wanted me to take some pictures of them in silly hats they brought back from Big Rock Candy Mountain down in Maryvale, Utah.

            It was a warm summer like night with air heavy with the smell of cottonwoods and the sounds of chirping of crickets. I love it here so much in Provo. I hope I can live up here in the Rocky Mountains for the rest of my life.

I’ve pretty well decided on not living here at the Hostel after this summer. One year is long enough. I have to write Mike Allred soon, but I might just wait for him to write me first this time.

28 May 1974 Tuesday

I worked from 9 this morning to 1:30 in the afternoon and saw that John Wagner hadn’t returned yet from his trip to Phoenix. I came home during my break before my history 270 class and fixed some minestrone soup. I then went to class from  5 to 7:30 with us discussing the rise of Industrialism in the United States.

            After class I went to the J Reuben Clark Library so do some research on the Fenter but didn’t find much more on them. I received a very good letter from Aunt Essie Ward on the birth and death dates on her Fenter uncles.

            In the evening, not to be alone in the warm apartment or give in to temptation I went over to Chris Burt’s air-conditioned place, and we talked until Midnight before going back to the Hostel. The apartment is an oven even with the fans going full blast. I sleep with a damp wash cloth over my forehead with the fan blowing on me.

29 May 1974 Wednesday

I worked from 9 this morning until 1:30 in the afternoon. Talking with John Wagner I guess he had a wild time down in Phoenix with some of his old friends he knew in Las Vegas. I also talked to Mark Cottrell who I haven’t seen in ages today. He said he’s getting married on June 21st.

            This evening I had a call from Bro. Rick Eldridge. He asked to make an appointment with me to talk about my Home Teaching for the month. I told him that he made a mistake that I wasn’t a Home Teacher. He said that I was on his list, but I told him that no one had contacted me about being a Home Teacher. He said he would check on it  and about 8:30 Bro. Tim Garbett came over and asked me to be a Home Teacher. He was rather sheepish about it because I was supposed to have been called a month ago. He also said that I had a calling to be on the Family Exaltation Committee. I said I’d gladly accept both callings. My covenant with the Lord must have been accepted.

            I gave in and wrote Mike Allred a letter before going to bed.

Additional Material

John Wagner was Gay down in Las Vegas before joining the Mormon Church and he had spent the time by the pools down there with his Gay friends. I didn't dare write about in my journal

30 May 1974 Thursday

I went into work at 9 this morning and worked until 1:30. I waited for John Wagner to finish his shift and we then talked about an hour about our personal problems that are so similar. John feels a need for repentance, and I have been very open with about my repentance process that I went through. It seems to be helping him. I had to leave him to go to my history 270 class and he split also.

In class we are still reading about the Industrial Revolution changing America from being an agrarian society. People in the class is just now starting to be friendly but there’s only 3 more weeks left of the spring term.

            When I came home, I watched some TV before going over to the Seville Apartments. My life is changing to a direction, I know not of as last year’s friends fade away. The month of May has been a transitional and transformational time for me. Almost all the old familiar faces are gone, and new faces are here in their place. I feel a very unique and close bond with John Wagner. Who is he? What will he bring into my life?

Additional Memoirs

This was the time that John Wagner admitted to me that he was sexually attracted to men. He must have intuited that I was a “fellow traveler” no  matter how deeply I tried to hide it. Gaydar at work I suppose.

When I first met John Wagner, I asked him where he was from and he flashed this great charming smile and said, “Almost Heaven.”  I was smitten because I knew the reference was to the John Denver’s song “Country Roads” and West Virginia. He was one of the most gorgeous men I ever known with very classical Hollywood boy next door looks. He had a cuter than Donny Osmond aura about him.

I remember girls just flocking to the Fountain side of the Cougareat just to have him wait on them. Once a girl even brought him a single rose. He was more than handsome, he was beautiful and charming with his slight Southern accent. The worst thing about him was that he knew everyone thought he was beautiful, but he didn’t feel it inside. It all came to easy for him.

            He had joined the Mormon Church while living a very hedonistic life as a kept pool boy for a wealthy Gay couple. He became disillusioned with his life and wanted something more. His Church of Christ upbringing instilled a belief in God’s love that wanted more for us in this life. We were both searching for some meaning to why we had these feelings for men and not women.

He was born 12 Dec 1952 in Wheeling, West Virginia. Looking back now I think he reminded me of John Cunningham somewhat and why I fell in love with him.

31 May 1974 Friday

It’s really hard to believe that this is the last day of May already. The days are so much longer and warmer. I have the fans going all the time now.

I went into work at 9 this morning and worked my usual shift with Dale Ashby, Steve Brinkman, Keith Haines, and Marietta Clark. I really enjoy the people  I work with and getting to know John Wagner better. I am sorry that my Summer schedule will force me to change my hours.

The morning shift is worked by Marietta, Steve Brinkman, and me. Then Dale comes in at 10 and Steve leaves at 11 and at noon Keith Haines takes over. It’s almost fun being here because we all work so well together and joke around.

            John Wagner looked today like he was dealing with some real problems, and I wanted to talk to him, but I had to go to my English class directly after getting off work at 1:30. I had another midterm exam in class on Morphology and Structural and Traditional English syntax. I’ve been up since 6 this morning studying for it, and I think I did okay on it.

            This blond girl, Diane, who sits next to me sure is cute and friendly and flirts with me. I should ask her out when I get some money. I will have 60 hours on my next pay check which should help out paying Summer Tuition.

            After school was over, I came home and cleaned the apartment. I am sick of living alone. Well living with Mark Miguel, I might as well be alone. I need a change.

This evening I drove Barbara Smith to a “peer party” out in Provo Canyon . There we played tagged football and roasted some hotdogs. I didn’t really know anyone accept Barbara, so it wasn’t very fun for me.

            Later for the first time I called John up this evening and asked if there was anything wrong that I could help him with. I think he’s one of the Lord’s valiant,  but he is really dealing with some problems. It’s funny  how in many ways, we are similar in background. We are both converts from the Church of Christ. We are the only members of our families to have joined the church. We both received our first Priesthood unworthy. We both came to BYU by the Lord’s hand. Our wicked Gentile days were quite similar to say the least. I believe God expects many great things of this John Wagner and that is why Satan wants to ensnare him. I hope I can prove to be a good friend to both John and God.

            I went to bed at 10:30 tonight, too tired to stay up and watch the midnight horror flicks.

Additional Memoirs

I had found a new unattainable boy with whom to be infatuated.

 

JUNE

In June I moved away from the Hostel Apartments and therefore out of the 41st BYU Branch and away from the life I had experienced for nearly a year. Being out from beneath the domain of C. Terry Warner’s the purview, was mentally healthy for me as I always was seeking his approval. As I became John Wagner’s confidant, he suggested that I move to the Park Plaza Apartments and become his roommate. The Park Plaza was located at 931 North at 900 East just below BYU’s east side of campus. It had a notorious reputation as a “party” complex.

            The Spring Term ended, the Summer Term began in June, and I had mostly made the break with any of my former friends except for Darwin Ross who once was out of the reserves training had returned to BYU and was again my roommate.

1 June 1974 Saturday

I was up this Saturday morning at 8 to do some apartment cleaning. I started on my room and worked my way into the bathroom, front room, and kitchen. That took half the morning. Even though Mark Miguel spends little time here he never cleans up after himself.

Linda Prindle came over at 11 and wanted to know if I still had some papers, she had given me back in February. I said I did but that I would have to find them after I finished cleaning the place. She’s on the Branch publicity committee and need them for an article. She asked me to help her out this coming Tuesday making and painting a poster for an MIA activity. I told her I would.          We talked a little and I told her how I’ve been meeting new people at work and how life seems to be going to new places. I drove her home afterwards.

            In the afternoon, John Wagner called me, and he was pretty upset with his roommates. He had turned them in to his apartment managers for keeping a girl in their bedroom. They were told they had to leave the Park Plaza and were turned over to the BYU Standard office. One of the boys was even a Returned Missionary. It shook John up and got him to thinking about his own lifestyle.

            When John was off work at 7:30 this evening I went over to Park Plaza so we could talk some more. Now that he will have no roommates, I asked him if I could move in with him at the Park Plaza and he said it would be fun having me as a roommate as we both worked together at the Cougareat. After that I didn’t stay long after looking the apartment over.

Park Plaza has a swimming pool in the courtyard surrounded on three sides by three stories of apartments with each floor being either all boys or all girl. John said that the Park Plaza has a scandalous reputation because it is a mixed complex.

While there Ken Bassett and some girls who live nearby at the complex came over to find out what happened to John’s roommates, and they invited me over for a spaghetti dinner. Since I had already opened my fast for tomorrow, I declined but thanked them anyway and  I then left at 10 to go home and get some sleep I went back to an empty apartment.

It was fun meeting new people from out of state like me. John Wagner is from West Virginia and this girl named Sheryl McCrary is from Texas. I already feel like I’m home with them. The people at Park Plaza are super friendly.

            If I can move to Park Plaza, I am going to do it. It means leaving the Branch, but I feel strongly about needing the change. Talking and laughing and meeting new people just magnified how isolated and hermit like is my existence at the Hostel. This place served its purpose but it’s no longer useful and all my old friends and family are scattered. I need to be around new people who won’t judge me. Also, unlike, Mike Allred I like people too much to be a loner. I miss laughing and being silly.

Additional Memoirs

John Wagner later admitted to me that he turned his roommates into Standards for violating the Honor Code not because he objected to them having sex with a girl in their room but because he didn’t like them, and he wanted them out so I could move in with him. He felt then he could be more open about our homosexual natures which I was suppressing,  but him, not so much. He had been openly Gay in Las Vegas and even had a Sugar Daddy before feeling guilty and joining the Mormon Church in 1973.

•           Playgirl magazine admitted that 20% of its readers are male. In the June issue actor Christopher George  was the centerfold. Christopher George was most known as an American television and film actor, for his starring role on the 1960s television series The Rat Patrol.

2 June 1974 Sunday

I went to Priesthood in the 41st Branch where I was set apart and sustained as chairman of research in the Family exaltation committee. I will be working with Bro. Earl Benson. Bro. Bill Mursett set me apart in my calling within the Elder Quorum. Tim Garbett also asked me to be a temporary Branch genealogy examiner until they can came someone else. I didn’t let any of them know that I may be moving out of the Branch.

            Priesthood was mainly the sustaining and setting apart of District elders and other brethren with callings. Afterwards I went to Bro. Earl Benson’s Sunday School class on Family Exaltation and asked him if I could do some Baptism for the Dead this coming Friday. He signed me up and Tuesday I will need to get a Temple Recommend.

            Right after Sunday School was Fast and Testimony Meeting which lasted from noon until 1:30. Jenny Holland and Linda Prindle bore their testimonies. Mardene Francis wasn’t at church because she went home to Canada for the weekend.

            I was invited by Jenny Holland over for Sunday dinner and she made a French Cheese Soufflé type of meal with crepes for desert. It was really delicious. Eating with us was a friend of Jenny’s from Deseret Towers named Todd who knew Elbert Peck. We talked about how funny and fun Elbert is.

            Right after dinner, I went to take Woody Franklin, my Home Teaching Companion to three appointments today but only Shirley Brown was home. She’s a sweet girl.

            I finally got my stereo back today back from Cindy Meyers who had borrowed it again. I don’t know why she thinks she can use my stuff anytime she wants.

            In the evening I went over to Park Plaza to see John Wagner and asked if he was going to the Ten Stake Fireside. He said he wasn’t sure, but I convinced him to attend. We visited a long time before hand, when he showed me some old pictures of his life down in Las Vegas. He had dyed his dark hair blond when he was down there. Truly a man “for all seasons” but still he’s a good man I know.

We went to the Marriott Center where Brother Holland was speaking. I almost had to drag John kicking and screaming to get him there, but it was a good Fireside.

            Back at Park Plaza for the rest of the night we listened to some of John’s favorite albums. Some girls dropped over to listen to Man of La Mancha.

Additional Memoirs

A man for all seasons was my subtle comment of his Gay Life style in Vegas.

3 June 1974 Monday

Today is Mom’s 45th birthday. This morning I woke up in time to go into work. It wasn’t easy getting out of bed because I didn’t leave John Wagner’s place until midnight last night. I did manage to pull myself out of bed and worked from 9 until 1:30.  John was a grouch himself all morning at work.

            I finished my shift and went off to my English 321 Grammar class. We still haven’t gotten our results back of the test yet. After class I went over to Park Plaza and talked with the managers there about moving in with John Wagner. They gave me a contract to sign but said they weren’t sure when those yokels were moving out. I hope it’s before Saturday.

            I then went home and baked up two dozen cookies for tonight’s Family Home Evening which started at 6 this evening. About 9 of us kids went out to Glen Canyon for a picnic. Denise Smith was all buttery sweet to Mark Solomon and it made me sick seeing her fawn all over him, Yeech. Denise can do better. But who am I to judge?

            Well after eating, these two Indian girls, Ardith, and Karen, and I went hiking past the river and we climbed up on a cliff. We viewed how beautiful Provo Canyon is in the summer time. I gave the Indian girls a ride to their home, and they want me to go hiking next Saturday. It should be fun. Later in the evening I went over to see John and stayed until 10 at night before going back to the Hostel.

4 June 1974 Tuesday

After working my shift at the Cougareat I went to see President Warner about getting a Temple Recommend. We both agreed that I wasn’t ready and should wait awhile. I felt really good however about telling him I was moving out of the Branch and how my life is changing. I think he was relieved that I was moving or at least that is my impression.

            I helped paint a poster for MIA this evening like I said I would for Linda Prindle from 7:30 to 9. Then I went over to Park Plaza to give John Wagner my Book of Mormon and my notes to study for a test he has tomorrow.

While I was there, I was pushed into the pool by kids fooling around. It felt good but I’ve all soaked now. Ken Bassett came over to John’s about 9:30 while I toweled off and I left to go back to my empty apartment. John is really a sensitive guy, and I am glad we are becoming friends.

Additional Memoirs

“Sensitive” my euphemism for Gay

5 June 1974 Wednesday

It was a really hectic day. It started off at work when Steve Brinkman was sick today and Keith Haines was one and a half hours late for work. Marietta Clark, Dale Ashby, and I had to work the shift by ourselves, and we were super busy.

            I didn’t make it to the first half of my English 321 Class because I stayed and talked to John Wagner and Mardene Francis who came up to see me at the Cougareat. I went to the last hour and afterward I asked this cute girl named Diane if she’d like to go up to Aspen Lodge for a dance this Friday. She said she’d let me know by Friday.

            After class I just came back to the Hostel and started packing things up. I received the phone bill and a letter from Mom today. I was excited to find out that my sister Donna is engaged to a guy named Ken Jones. He’s not a hippie like the last one but a decent guy who will take care of her. That really made my day.

            Mark Miguel and I sat down to talk and to tell him that I was moving out. He was upset I think mainly because I was taking the TV, Stereo, and phone with me. We never really communicated much, and I was tired of cleaning up after him. I’m glad I’m moving.

            I went over to Park Plaza at 9 tonight to see how John did on his test, He said my Book of Mormon notes really helped and I was glad for it. When I was ready to leave, the battery in the Pinto had ran down. I didn’t want to walk home because all I had on was a tee shirt and cut offs. Since it rained today the weather had turned really cold. So, I called Mark Miguel up to see if he could get one of his friends who was staying at the apartment to come and take me home. He said yes but no one ever showed up.

            So, at midnight I walked from the Park Plaza to the Hostel about a mile and a half and I was so cold and glad to fall into bed.

6 June 1974 Thursday

I don’t know what in the world I am doing. I am so confused. I want to serve the Lord but at the same time I feel like the biggest hypocrite because I am so attracted to John Wagner’s world. Where am I going? What am I doing? What should I bring along? I feel like I am almost apostatizing from the Lord by moving in with John at Park Plaza. I have no faith . I have no trust in the Lord. I am so miserable.

 I curse myself for being a weakling that I should have my flesh war with and dominate my spirit. The Lord is trying me, and I feel I am being grounded into dust rather than being polished. I don’t know what I want. For the Love of God, who am I? If I am a Son of God where then is my valiancy? Where is there strength and courage? Where does the Lord lead? Do I want to follow? It’s not fair. Where is my progression?

I have found myself in a circle where I began 5 years ago with John Cunningham. I know this is the Church of Jesus Christ and I want everyone to join it and accept it, but I feel like I am falling away like I never belonged. Where is the peace, I had a month ago? Sin is an awful thing to take away that peace.

            I want to Love the Lord in peace, but my soul is in turmoil. Why is there so many conditions attached to the Lord loving me? Where is peace? Where is love? The Bible says God is Love so why does He not abideth in mine heart? How to be valiant? How am I to be strong, a Saturday warrior for the Lord?

            Meeting John Wagner has opened up a Pandora Box of old familiar feelings but how to close it up? John is a good man, and my heart yearns to bring peace to his soul and mine but how? God give my knees the strength to bend in constant prayer. I confess that Jesus is the Christ, the Everlasting Father.

            I am so lonely and confused and frightened and frustrated and afraid of losing all and everything I have strove for these past 2 years within God’s kingdom. Is John’s will stronger than mine? Will he bring me down or am I strong enough to raise him up out of wickedness? Will I be Satan’s pawn or in humility serve my God?

            This morning I was really tired, and it was so hard getting up to go into work. I only worked until 1 this afternoon and Dale Ashby worked the other half hour for me.

            I called home to talk to Mom and she said that my sister Charline was pregnant again and two months along. Last summer I had a dream that Charline had three children not the two and the youngest was a sweet little boy who was a joy and a delight. I hope it was a true dream.

            Mom talked more about Donna’s fiancée’s family and about him. She said that Ken Jones was part Jewish on his mother’s side. She said that he reminded Donna of me before I became “a religious fanatic” as she put it. And here I think of myself as almost an apostate. Still, I am thrilled that Donna is engaged and even wants to have a family. God is so blessing my family now that they have started to hear and obey the Words of the Savior.

            Steve Brinkman from work was good enough to come help me start the Pinto back up to drive it back home. John Wagner and I went to Marie Callendar’s for dinner, and he treated me. I haven’t been eating at all this week. I have no money for food. I’ve just been living on bread and apple butter sandwiches. John treating me to dinner really is an indication of a kind heart of what glory is his if he but turn around and serve the Lord. Holiness unto the Lord. I have to believe that the Lord knows what he’s doing but I am a carnal being and therefore an enemy to God

Additional Memoirs

My infatuation with John Wagner and his Gay personality was a real spiritual crisis for me. I was so conflicted.

7 June 1974 Friday

I can’t stand this in between time when I’m not moved out of the Hostel, but I am not really living here either. I went into work where Marietta Clark is more and more trying to get me and her daughter together. I think it’s funny because I know Marietta would love for me to be her son in law.

It was another busy day, and I am so glad that tomorrow is Saturday, and I don’t work. It was rainy and cold for much of the day. John Wagner didn’t want to go to the dance at Aspen Lodge after all. It put me in a bind as I had already asked Diane from my English class to go with me. I decided to avoid the awkward situation and chickened out by not going to class which was bad as we are discussing Transformational English which I don’t understand at all.

            In the evening John was really in a foul mood and I knew Satan was going to try and bring him down. I wanted us to go to the show and see Michael York and Raquel Welch in the Three Musketeers, but John wanted to go into Salt Lake City just to get into trouble. I tried to persuade John to just stay home but he had to get out and see for himself what trouble he could get into.

I couldn’t see him hitchhiking or taking the bus, so I said I’d drive him to Salt Lake if he promised to behave himself and leave with me when the movie I went to see was out.

I dropped him off at the Royal Inn and then I went to Trolley Square where I went to see The Three Musketeers. The show didn’t even start until 10 at night and was out about midnight. I was supposed to go and pick John up at the Royal Inn at 12:30 in the morning. I looked for him until 1:30 at all places I thought he might be. I couldn’t find him anywhere, so I thought he probably ditched me but since he’s a big boy now, I figured he’d find a way home somehow.

            I was back in Provo from Salt Lake by 2:20 and went straight to bed. I don’t know how long it’s been since I’ve stayed out this late. The Holy Ghost departs at midnight, so I’ve been told, and I believe it.

Additional Memoirs

What I did not write in my journal was that John begged me to take him to Joe Redburn’s  Sun Tavern which John heard was a new Gay Bar in Salt Lake located on South Temple and 400 West in a very seedy part of town. When I wrote he was grouchy I meant that he was extremely horny and wanted to get laid. I at first refused to go with him but because of my infatuation with John who charmed everyone to get his way, I agreed to take him. I dropped him off at the Royal Inn at 206 South West Temple. The Royal Inn later became the Shilo Inn where the Suicide Murder of a polygamist family in the late 1970’s took place.

I went off to the Trolley Square Theater on 7th East and could hardly enjoy the movie wondering what John was up to. When the movie was out, I had told John I would meet him back in front of the Royal Inn, but he was a no show. I knew where he was; at the Sun Tavern on 1 South Temple and 400 West across the derelict  Union Pacific train depot. John had me drive by it before dropping him off at the Royal Inn. I felt like I wasn’t enabling him by actually taking him to the Sun.

The Sun at night was in a very creepy part of town nearly beneath the shadow of the North Temple Viaduct overpass. South Temple between Third West and 4th West was populated with squalid businesses, flop houses, and across the street was the Black Elks Lodge which seemed incredibly sinister  at the time to this brainwashed BYU student.

When John did not show at our rendezvous location, I became concerned, and I actually parked near the Sun and walked inside the club. It was the first and last time I ever had been in the old Sun Tavern. There was no club membership then and once past the front desk area it opened up to what seemed like a bacchanalian festival of loud music, shirtless dancing boys, and the smell of sweat, patchouli, and poppers although I at the time had no idea that powerful smell was amyl nitrites.

I did not stay long in the den of iniquity, just long enough to make a quick sweep of the room but could not find John in the wall-to-wall mass of gyrating bodies. I was too scared to remain within the club but went out and sat in the dark in my Pinto hoping to see John exit the front entrance. I felt like an observer and almost voyeuristic watching men come and go, many drunk and laughing, others scurrying in as not to be seen. It was horrifying and yet thrilling but I was not ready to admit that these were more my people than any of the staid kids at BYU.

8 June 1974 Saturday

I was up at 9:30 super tired this morning and feeling guilty about leaving John Wagner to his own devices last night. I called him to see whether he got home or not from Salt Lake. He had but said it was quite the experience. He must have just missed me everywhere I went to find him. He finally caught a bus at 4 in the morning and walked from the Bus Depot to Park Plaza. He asked if I’d come over after he was through with work tonight.

            We were both mad that his roommates haven’t moved out yet. So, I guess I will have to wait until Monday. I feel like I am coming down with something.

Additional Material

Band On The Run by Paul McCartney And Wings was the number 1 song for a week until the 14th.

Lambda Rising bookstore opened in Washington DC. Founded by Deacon Maccubbin with 250 titles, it was known for its wide selection of books, ranging from queer theory and religion to erotica, as well as DVDs, music CDs and gifts. MacCubbin stated "When we set out to establish Lambda Rising in 1974, it was intended as a demonstration of the demand for gay and lesbian literature. We thought... we could encourage the writing and publishing of LGBT books, and sooner or later other bookstores would put those books on their own shelves and there would be less need for a specifically gay and lesbian bookstore.

9 June 1974 Sunday

I started my fasting yesterday at 8 in the evening and continued until 8 this morning. I didn’t go to Priesthood today but rather I went over to Park Plaza to spend the afternoon with John Wagner. His roommates still haven’t moved out and I am getting mad. I went to John’s 39th Branch Sacrament Meeting which met in the old Brigham Young Academy Building. It was a good meeting, and I was impress with one of the girl’s talk on how we do not have the right to withhold our love from anyone. I spent the evening at Park Plaza hanging out with John before going back to the Hostel to sleep. Today is my sister Charline’s 27th Birthday.

10 June 1974 Monday

I called in sick today because I had so much to do. I started moving over to Park Plaza even if those other guys haven’t left yet. I will just move their things around. I spent almost all day just moving my bookcase and all that goes with it.

It was so strange when I went back to the Hostel at 5 to pick up a muffin tin so I could make some muffins, I was only out there two minutes at the most then I went to get in the car. The spirit must have prompted me to go back inside because Darwin Ross was coming up the steps at the same time

. Because I was in a hurry at first, I thought it was Dan Farrow. When I saw that it was Darwin, I just dropped everything and ran to hug him. I said what are you doing here in Provo? I couldn’t believe it.

            So, I took him over to Park Plaza and we talked for a long while about our lives. He needed some readjustment time so in the late evening he went for a walk around campus. He spent the night here and John Wagner even gave up his bed for him. I know the hand of the Lord is in this. I know it with perfect solemnity. Just like when I went to see Chris Burt by the prompting of the spirit, and she cried in my arms that time. The Lord has not withdrawn His spirit from me. I know it now.

 

11 June 1974 Tuesday

I went in to work this morning feeling groggy. I had slept on the floor at the Park Plaza and the air conditioner was going all night, so I woke up with a sore throat. My muscles are sore and ache from moving all those bricks and books for the bookcase yesterday.

            I spent the remainder of the day unpacking my things and finding places for them. One of John Wagner’s old roommates has finally left. I hope the other does soon too. It’s hard when you are in the process of moving in at the same time someone is moving out. The place is a mess, a real sty as nobody here including John Wagner seemed to have been much of a cleaner.

            I didn’t make it to my history 270 class tonight although I finally bought the textbook I needed for that class. I’m falling so behind in school and so is John. Darwin Ross has decided to move in with John and me, so we are roommates again. How the Lord does move us around in circles, one eternal round dance.

12 June 1974 Wednesday

I worked from 9 to 1:30 then came home to Park Plaza and still unpacking and settling in. I have so much junk. When Mom and Dad comes out for my graduation, I am having them take most of this stuff back to California with them. I don’t need it all.

            I was so excited today because I got my Patriarchal Blessing in the mail. I read it over again and at first, I thought they had left a lot out but then I saw that more was typed on the back! Ha! I sure was worried for nothing. I also received a letter from Piper Ballou, so I need to write her back. Bless her heart she paid me back the $30 she borrowed from me over the last semester. I truly miss her.

            I went swimming some today in the apartment’s pool. It sure is warming up and was 85 degrees. It won’t be long until it gets up into the 100’s.

            John Wagner sure is a good person. I really love him. I hope he can overcome some of his basic problems. I am getting to know some of the kids around Park Plaza, like Sheryl McCrary, and Val Olsen who shares John’s bedroom. I love the Gospel of Jesus Christ and the Mission of the Latter-Day Saints.

Additional Material

Piper Ballou’s 20th birthday

Eddie Lee Mathews 19 was sentenced to six months in the Davis County jail for forcible sexual abuse involving another corpsman on February 22, Mathews, a Clearfield job corpsman had been charged with sodomy, but the charge was reduced through plea bargaining 1974 An 18-year-old Clearfield job corpsman has been booked into the Davis County jail on a charge of sodomy officials reported today. Arrested at the center was Eddy L Mathews. An official of the job corps said the allege incident was reported by another corpsman Ogden Standard Examiner

13 June 1974 Thursday

I worked my shift today and then went down to the Hostel for the last time and cleared everything out. Then I went and talked to Jane Earl to get my deposit back and half of my month’s rent. I am fighting having any bad feeling about the Hostel, but I do. The Hostel was just as the name implied, a short resting stop on my life’s journey. Often it felt more Hostile than Hostel. Now I am here at the Park Plaza with no memories of Mike Allred, Marta Gillings, or the sisters at Seville 27. I don’t know what I am doing here though. It seems so alien.

Additional Memoirs

Karen June Gramsted’s 23rd birthday. She was this good friend that I worked with at Taco Bell on Lincoln and Knott when I was going to Cypress. She was a lot of fun, and her younger brother Jim was the fry cook. I was able to get my cousin Larry Fagen as well as John Cunningham jobs at that Taco Bell.

14 June 1974 Friday

I went into work from 9 in the morning until 1:30 in the afternoon. Then I came home to Park Plaza and scrubbed the kitchen and bathroom floors. Darwin Ross and I cleaned the place up in the expectation that John Wagner was going to invite a girlfriend of his from Salt Lake to come over. He never brought her here though. I had to go back into work at the Cougareat and worked from 4:30 in the afternoon until 12:30 in the morning. I was so dead tired I just flopped into bed.

15 June 1974 Saturday

I rested for most of the day from having such a hectic week  moving and working. I am all moved in, and the Mexican kids are out. In the evening Darwin Ross and I went over to see Denise Smith to visit with her. Once there she said that Mardene Francis and she were going out to the show to see “American Graffiti. She wanted us to go with them, so we did. We went out to the Pioneer Drive-In, and we were being silly and acting crazy. The movie was strange but a really good show.

Additional Material

Billy, Don't Be A Hero by Bo Donaldson And The Heywoods was the number 1 song for the next 2 weeks until June 28th.

Wayne Nolan Tuck’s 20th birthday and he was serving his mission.

16 June 1974 Sunday

I went to the Stake’s Conference in the Provo Tabernacle this morning at 8:30. It lasted until 10:30. I sat with Denise Smith and Chris Burt. I asked Jennifer Holland over for Sunday dinner and she asked if she could bring her roommate from Peru also. I said sure.

            I was back at Park Plaza by 10:30 and started preparing dinner. I really wanted to make something nice. When Darwin Ross and John Wagner came home from their Stake Conference, they told me they planned on eating with Val Olsen and his sister Sherry. I was really upset after all the planning I had gone through. I let Darwin and John that I wasn’t too pleased. Darwin took his normal “I don’t care attitude” and left to go see Debbie Holbrook.

John and I sat down, and we talked. I told him I was more disappointed than mad because I really wanted to do something nice for our first Sunday dinner together. John then had a change of heart and decided to go ahead and eat with me and my company. I asked Sheryl McCrary to join us, so it turned out to be a nice dinner party after all.

            Jenny stayed until it was time for Sacrament Meeting, and I drove her and her roommate to the 41st Branch meeting up on Campus. I sat with Denise Smith and Chris Burt. I also got to talk a little with Linda Prindle who now seems more like just an acquaintance.

            For a Fireside we all went over to Mike Pitcher’s place at the Hostel where we had a discussion about what we heard in morning Conference.

Additional Material

Gay activists interrupted a speech by Dr. David Ruben to protest his opinions on male homosexuals in his book "Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Sex." Dr. David Reuben had legions of fans after publishing his best-selling book in 1969. Reuben however depicted gay men's relationships as bleakly impersonal and short-lived.

17 June 1974 Monday

I didn’t go into work or to class today. I wasn’t feeling well, and I was really busy with getting the apartment ready for John Wagner’s folks who are coming out from West Virginia to see him. He’s been acting so nervous and excited that he’s getting on all our nerves. I took John’s friend Linda Wright to the grocery store, and I listened to the prompting of the spirit and she and I had a good talk on self-worth.

John gave the lesson tonight at Family Home Evening on the Signs of the End Times and the prophesies of the Latter Days. It was really good. Later that evening we all had an apartment prayer which John gave in which I felt that he was moved by the spirit. I was truly impressed.

I wonder and marvel who John must be in our Father’s Kingdom. At  times he is in tune with the Sprit and  then at other times he is so insensitive to those who care for him.

He told me where to get off concerning his father while his folks are here. John’s attitude hurt me to core because he had no trust in me, or faith in his Dad. He has no belief in me for thinking I was too insensitive to know the needs of his father.

18 June 1974 Tuesday

I went back to work this morning and worked until 1:00. Marietta Clark said she was disappointed that I hadn’t made it over to her place for Family Home Evening like she wanted me too. She is still trying to set me up with her daughter Jodie. I don’t mind because I think Jodie and I would have a lot in common.

            I was still really hurt by John Wagner’s comments and attitude last night so I said he could do whatever he likes with his family without my interference in any way at all. I left work a little early not feeling well and wanting to straighten up the apartment, thinking they’d be in tonight.

            I rushed home and saw that the Wagner’s had already arrived. I was really glad to see them. I sat and visited with Bro. Wagner until John came home from work. He was surprised see them in so soon also. There were four of them, Bro. Wagner, John’s sister Jodie about 18 years old, a younger brother Colby about 15 years old, and Colby’s friend Mark Smith.

            We fixed a spaghetti dinner for them, and then the younger boys went swimming while John and I took his father and sister Jodie on a tour of BYU. Bro. Wagner was really impressed with the campus. He doesn’t seem anything like the negative impression that John gave of him but then I am seeing him as a brother in Christ and not my father.

            Bro. Wagner is a Mason and wants to go see the Masonic Temple here in Provo, but I don’t know anything about Masons. I think his opinion of Mormonism has changed drastically even just from today. I feel a rapport or connection between Bro. Wagner and me. Maybe it’s just I feel his love for  John also even if he’s one of the most spoiled people I now. Good looks are a curse not a blessing, I am finding out.

Additional Memoirs

I referred to John’s father as Brother Wagner although he was not a member of the LDS church as a sign of respect also as he was a member of the Church of Christ as I had been. John’s parents were John Pershing Wagner and Ann Virginia  Kessel. He was a marine in World War II who was wounded in the Marianas Islands. He died in May 1979 at the age of 61 years.

19 June 1974 Wednesday

I went into work from 9 to 11:30 but John Wagner is not coming in for the rest of the week to spend time with his folks. Steve Brinkman won’t be here on Friday either. It will be just Dale Ashby, Marietta Clark, and I. I asked Dale to work the rest of my shift and I went home to Park Plaza to rest before going to my English 321 Class.

            This evening I went with John and his family to Salt Lake City to tour Temple Square. John and his sister Jodie went with their Dad, and I drove Colby Wagner and Mark Smith up in the Pinto. We didn’t get there until 8:30 but we went on the last tour and stayed until they closed the gates. I took Colby Wagner and his friend Mark Smith to Trolley Square to get an ice cream cone. It was really tasty.

            All the way home to Provo, we talked about the Gospel and the plan of salvation. Since we had seen Man’s Search for Happiness at the visitor center, we talked about the pre-existence and exaltation to Godhood. I knew it was heavy for 15-year-olds, but I was trying to be sensitive to the spirit and when Colby said “I like this Mormon belief” I was glad.

20 June 1974 Thursday

I went in to work again at 9 this morning but left at 1. I needed to get some studying done for my history final tonight. I went to the Harold B Lee Library and studied until 5 this afternoon. When I went into class to take the final, Bro. Chandler said we could either take it or take the grade we had so far. Since I only had a C+ I elected to take the final. It took me until 7:30 to finish then I went back to the library and wrote up the abstract for my English 321 class tomorrow. I was there until 10:30 at night writing. I thought my hand would fall off.

            I can’t believe the semester is over already. Bro. Chandler said I got a B- out of the History 279 class but I will be surprised if he does. He’s the type to do almost anything.

            When I came home, I talked to Bro. Wagner who was still up for most of the time before going to bed.

Additional Material

The Lesbian Herstory Archives is founded. Lesbian members of the Gay Academic Union who had organized a group to discuss sexism within that organization. Co-founders Joan Nestle, Deborah Edel, Sahli Cavallo, Pamela Oline, and Julia Stanley wanted to ensure that the stories of the lesbian community were protected for future generations.

The BYU library was renamed Harold B Lee as the new Law Building was named for J Reuben Clark.

21 June 1974 Friday

It was a very busy but fun first day of Summer. I went into work at 9 and it was my last day working with Marietta Clark and Dale Ashby. I’ll miss them both. They are such good people/ I was off work at 1 this afternoon so I could have an hour to study before taking my English final. It was on Transformational Grammar that changes the syntax if a sentence from one form to another like he read the book, or the book was read by him. I didn’t understand lot of it so I don’t know what I will get out of that class. Bro. Luthy said I’d probably get a B out of it.

            When I came home from taking the English 321 final, the Wagner’s were back from visiting Kennecott’s open pit copper mine. John said on the way back to Provo the brake light came on, and Bro. Wagner thinks their brake fluid is leaking. It was too late to have it checked today.

            It was really rushed today. I opened a new Savings Account and I put $390 in it, but I don’t expect it to last very long after I pay summer tuition. I paid my rent today.

            This evening I rounded everyone up to go out to the canyon for a watermelon bust and marshmallow roast. I had Jodie Clark, Mardene Francis, Denise Smith, Sheryl McCrary, Darwin Ross, and John Wagner’s sister Jodie and brother Colby and Mark Smith go. We didn’t get out to Provo Canyon until 8 and we went to Glen Canyon Park. We found a campfire spot down near the Provo River where we could build a fire.

            We also went hiking up to the aqueduct and then came down the side of the mountain. Jodie Wagner was so scared, but I was her fearless leader. I was so occupied in making sure that no one fell that I slipped and fell about 10 feet. I landed on some rock, and I was scraped but not hurt.

            When we came back to the camp, we had a fire going and we sang songs but mainly hymns. We toasted marshmallows and made these things called “s’mores” because when you it one you want “some more.”  You melt a marshmallow and place it in between two graham crackers and a piece of a chocolate bar.

            After eating our “s’more” we sliced up the watermelon and passed it around spitting out the seeds into the fire. We stayed until about 11 tonight. It was a warm summer night.

            The Wagners seemed to have enjoyed  the campout. We all came home and watched the Midnight Madness monster flicks and ate popcorn and cinnamon rolls. Everyone seemed to like Jodie Clark. She’s a sweet girl.

22 June 1974 Saturday

I woke up extremely sick to my stomach and I even threw up which I never do unless I am almost dead. I thought at first it might have been the river water that I drank last night but as I got weaker and weaker, I knew it was just the stomach flu.

            Bro. Wagner got his car brakes fixed today and they are making plans to drive down to Las Vegas. John Wagner really doesn’t want to go but he feels obligated to show his folks around since he used to live there before he joined the Church. I had a bad feeling towards him going down there because he has some wicked friends down there still who might tempt John to leave the path of righteousness.

            I had to go into work at 4:30 and I hated it. I miss the crew I worked with in the day. I also felt so weak I could hardly stand up. I finally went to the student supervisor and said I was too sick to work, and I went home at 6:30 this evening. By then John and his family had already left for Vegas.

23 June 1974 Sunday

I woke up at 10 this morning feeling really groggy. Darwin Ross started hollering at me because I didn’t make it to Priesthood. I love Darwin but he is the most arguing person I know. I told him that I’d answer to the Lord not to him. I was still feeling really poorly.

            My sister Donna called from California which really upset me. She said her fiancée and she didn’t want anything to do with the Mormon Church and she said that Ken Jones said he’d probably not like me because I was a Mormon. After getting off the phone, I cried and cried until I realized it wasn’t going to make a bit of difference, but the conversation made me sad and feeling empty. I feel like Donna, and I had just gone our separate ways. I love Donna so much and I want her to be happy.

            I went over and visited with Jennifer Holland today. I also spent some of the day with Jodie Clark. Being with the Clarks cheered me up. They are such good people. I came back to Park Plaza and went to my new Branch’s Sacrament Meeting at 6:30, still not feeling altogether well. I am now in the 39th Branch. I expected John Wagner to come in tonight but when he didn’t, I went to bed at midnight.

24 June 1974 Monday

Today the Summer Term began, and my first class is English 377 which is required for teaching English on a High School level. It’s an interesting class. Right afterwards at 11 is my History of England class. I really like this class.

After classes were over at 12:30, I came home to the apartment and saw that Bro. Wagner and the rest were there. They were tired from the quick turnaround trip to Vegas. Bro. Wagner and the rest were not at all impressed by the glitz and glamour of Las Vegas and I guess John and they quarreled the whole trip down and back. John said something to hurt his father’s feelings and he’s leaving tomorrow morning to return to West Virginia. Maybe it’s just as well with school starting back up.

            Jodie Wagner and I had a long talk as we walked along Inspiration Path about John and his relationship between him and his mother. She feels neglected and not loved by her mother who only dotes on John.

            In the late afternoon, after picking up my paycheck, I went to the Bookstore. I cleared $82 and cashed the check. I tried buying a book for my English 377 class, but they were all gone. If I order one, it will get here about the last week of the term. It makes me mad that the instructor lets more people into the class than there are books ordered for it! I guess I will have to drop that class.

            While at the Bookstore I bought Bro. Wagner  a copy of James Talmage’s Jesus the Christ and Jodie, Colby, and Mark Smith each a BYU tee-shirt as souvenirs of their visit to Provo.

            In the evening Colby and I had a good talk about Mormon Doctrine using the Bible as a reference. I showed him where the Bible speaks of us as being gods, the preexistence, exaltation, baptism for the dead and etc. He was surprised to find all that in the Scriptures.

            The Wagners all went over to John’s Peruvian friend, Carmen Lopez for dinner and when they came back, we all visited for a long time about all the sightseeing they did. The Wagners will probably go home tomorrow through Denver. It’s a long trip back to West Virginia.

            This morning John over slept and was late going into work and PJ Payson our boss said he hated him! Ha! I guess they were pretty busy the first day of classes.

25 June 1974 Tuesday

Today is my sister Donna’s 25th birthday. I pray she is happy. This morning the Wagners left to return to West Virginia. I kind of had gotten used to them being here. John Wagner had to go into work before they left so I was the one to see them off. I gave Colby Wagner my Book of Mormon. I hope he will read it and have faith in it one day.

            I don’t have classes on Tuesday, so I cleaned up the apartment really good and waited around until 7:30 to go into work at the Cougareat for my new hours. I worked until 12:30 in the morning closing up and I hate it. I absolutely hate it. I’ve got to either change my hours or change jobs.

            John is absolutely having a fit over Joe Carnation, the new kid who replaced Val Olsen as his roommate. He seems rather mentally disturbed, and I am concerned that they would place him with us, but John is almost hysterical about it. If he could only hear himself.

            We had a good talk tonight before going into work. John has finally decided to do the right thing and go see President Ahlander. I hope and pray his courage and resolve will remain strong.

            When I came home from work, I went upon the roof top of Park Plaza and prayed until about 2:30 in the morning on behalf on my friend John. I am so confused about my feeling for him and what to do but I know what the Lord said.

“This Saith the Lord Thou in no wise have stewardship over John insomuch to seek guidance from the Lord on behalf of his Salvation nevertheless thou art his friend and brother and shall by love of him and example stand steadfastly by him in his hour of tribulation. John is beloved of me, but his sins are an abomination in my sight, and he is cast out of my presence not by divine choice but by his own transgressions against the Eternal Laws.

 In thy desire to be my disciple I say unto thee Feed my sheep that is to let John know he is loved of God and shall be might among nations if, but he should repent and follow after God whose paths art righteous forever Amen.”

26 June 1974 Wednesday

I really don’t know what I am doing. I have to drop my English 377 class, but I also need to arrange a new schedule in order to graduate this semester. In the afternoon, I came out to the pool and played in the water because it sure was hot today. John Wagner, Linda Wright, and I had these huge inner tubes blown up and we were playing on them all day in the water.

            I didn’t go to class all day, but I did go see Marietta Clark to ask for her advice on what I should do with my schedule. While I was there PJ Payson said I had to work the 4th of July and I was upset because Paul Paystrup had said that if I worked Memorial Day, I could have the 4th off.

            In the evening John was in a foul mood and Linda wanted to go off to a show. John was also tiffed because we had gone shopping and made a nice fish dinner for Karen Lyman, this girl from work who didn’t show up. We had spent $40 on groceries! Oh well.

            In the evening Linda Wright and her friend Chris and I went driving around to get away from John’s mood. It was a warm and pretty summer night but while down in Spanish Fork my car battery died. I had to call Provo to get Dale Ashby’s phone number because he was the only person, I knew who lived in Spanish Fork.

We walked to a pay phone, and I called him to ask if he’d come  and help us. He did and it was awfully good  of him because it was late at night nearly 11:30 and he was almost ready for bed. Dale is a good Christian man. After Dale jumped the battery and got the Pinto started, he took us for a tour of Spanish Fork and even out to his father’s farm. We never made it back to Park Plaza until very late.

27 June 1974 Thursday-

I went to a genealogy class that I signed up for today. Then I drove John up to the Administration Building to meet with his old Branch President  at 5 in the afternoon. Today was the day of John Wagner’s repentance but I don’t believe it was fully sincere as that he went to his old Branch President and not to President Ahlander who is now our Branch President. His old Branch president doesn’t have any authority over him.

After that I went into work. It was awful. I could not concentrate at all thinking about what John was going through. It brought back painful memories that I’d just as soon forget about from having a similar experience with President Warner.

 

28 June 1974 Friday

Tonight, I went camping overnight on Squaw Peak in Lock Canyon with Mardene Francis, Jodie Clark, Sheryl McCrary, Linda Wright, Kitty, and John Wagner. We jammed packed my Pinto with 7 kids, sleeping bags, food, and cooking utensils. It was extremely tight.

            Mardene told us about this great place but getting there I almost ran out of gas. I didn’t think I’d use so much getting there. I knew I didn’t have a lot of gas, but I didn’t have time to get any before we left. Well, I did run out of gas but fortunately, by the Lord’s help, a Branch was having a party nearby and this kid there had a van who let us buy some gas off of him. We siphoned 3 gallons and that was plenty.

            We found a beautiful spot near a creek surrounded by tall Aspen trees. It was just so peaceful and majestic, really spiritually moving.

            We fixed hot dogs, had some potato salad, and pork and beans for our supper. Then we sat around the campfire, telling inspirational stories and singing hymns.

However,  behind us further up the hill, there were these hippies having a beer Keg party and we could hear their devil music playing in the background. It gave us the feeling that we were in an island of righteousness surrounded by a sea I wickedness and darkness.

We put on the full armor of God though and when we sacked out for the night, we kept a lantern burning. We all stared at the stars and the Milky Way. The moon light was slightly veiled by the shadow of the aspens. It was lovely and we were moved to sing songs of praise and for our love of the Gospel. We listened to the whispering of angels, and we knew all would be well and that the spirit of the Lord would encompass us, protect us, and make all things right.

            Out here in nature’s forest we can appreciate God’s creation and his infinite Love for us his children that he would create all this for us to behold. What a wise, loving and understanding Father we have. Praise Ye O Heavens. Worthy of praise is God. Sing forth Salvation Ye Mountains High for Salvation comes from the Lord.

Additional Material

While I was camping at Squaw Peak over 200 Gay men and women gather at approximately 8000 West along the south-east shore of the Great Salt Lake commonly known as “Bare Ass Beach” for a Beer Kegger party to celebrate Gay Pride. The event was sponsored by Joe Redburn of the Sun Tavern. It was the 1st public celebration of Gay Pride in Utah.

By 1974 the radical members Utah’s Gay Liberation Front had moved on. However, in its place was two Gay Community Churches, several openly Gay and Lesbian bars, including Sweetwater, the first Gay Bar in Ogden.

29 June 1974 Saturday

We woke up this morning as soon as light began to filter through the trees. I was cold for most of the night but not truly uncomfortable. Sheryl McCrary was the first to get up then Jodie Clark. It was a cool and brisk morning. I felt so grubby with soot from the campfire smoke on my face with a day growth of beard, but the girls were all messes too.

            Sheryl and Jodie got a fire going and we soon fixed breakfast. We had sausages and pancakes, and it was a good breakfast. Afterwards we spent the time cleaning camp, packing up, and loading the Pinto for the return trip back into Provo. It sure was a lot of trouble for just one night but it was worth it. It gave us all a chance to get closer to God.

            I went into work at 3:30 this afternoon. John was sick. I think he has the intestinal flu like I did last week. I worked until 1 in the morning, and it was a very busy night for a “Fast Sunday” tomorrow.

Additional Material

Sundown by Gordon Lightfoot was the number 1 song until July 5th.

30 June 1974 Sunday

I was up at 10 this morning to get ready for Priesthood. John Wagner, Darwin Ross, and I went together. I was called to be a Home Teacher in this new Branch. I don’t miss the 41st Branch and its memories at all. John went to speak with President Ahlander during Sunday School. Everything is going to work out fine, I think.

Linda Wright joined John and I for a Sunday Roast Beef dinner. I asked Jodie if she’d go with me to the Ten Stake Fireside tonight. Elder Hartman Rector was the speaker. She said she would but would have to miss her Sacrament Meeting, so I asked her just to come to ours, It was a spiritual meeting with good talks about when you try to mix Zion and Babylon, Babylon has already won.

            The Ten Stake Fireside began at 7 this evening and Hartman Rector spoke about America being God’s chosen land and how when the military moves out the Missionaries move in. He said the Gospel follows old Glory.

            I called Michael Allred tonight and we had a good long talk. How I miss him and his association.

Additional Memoirs

John Wagner and I started to become estranged as that he resented that I had encouraged him to talk to our Branch President about his homosexual tendencies. Also, I think we was upset that I had tried to make his family welcomed as he was jealous of me as he did not have a good relationship with his father or his siblings. Also, I think my obsession with Mormonism also began to grate on him. John was also very moody and could be very bitchy and often downright hateful. He was so mean to Joe Carnation his roommate that he moved out and was replaced with a kid named Wayland who was from Payson, Utah. I never wrote his last name down in my journal.