Summer Third Quarter Journal 1993 July-September

 JULY

1 July 1993 Thursday

I was up at 4:30 this morning to shower, get ready, and catch a 5:30 bus out to the airport. As I was getting ready I got this phone call from Garth Chamberlain’s friend Eric Robinson. Garth had left last night without leaving a key to lock the Center up and Eric spent the night there guarding the place until finally reaching me.  He drove out to the Riviera and picked me up and we went back to the Center where I locked the place up. Eric said it was really spooky being in that cavernous building with all types of creaking sounds during the night. Eric was so grateful to me for it, that he took me out to the airport so I was there way early.

            The flight was good and it only takes about an hour and 20 minutes to get down to Sky Habor in Phoenix. Mom and Dad were at the gate  to greet me but when we walked out of the terminal I felt like I was hit with a ton of bricks. Boy was it hot in Phoenix and over 100 degrees by 9 in the morning.

            We went out for breakfast and to Home Shop so Dad could get some sprinkler parts for a "mister" he is building for the back porch as a cooling system. We finally made it back to Cottonwood by noon. The town of Cottonwood is more in the high desert and is pretty in its own way but there’s no trees. Their house payment is less than what I pay in rent in Salt Lake.

            We sat on the patio and visited and also helped Dad put this contraption up made out of PVC pipe that sprays a fine mist onto the patio to cool things off. Mom said they put a lot of work into laying down rock in their yard.

            We did drive over to Sedona in the evening to see my uncle and Aunt. Milton and Marie briefly. We’ll spend more time with them before leaving. Mom seems fine but dad sure is getting old looking. He’s 68 years old now.

ADDITIONAL MATERIAL

•  The Lesbian and Gay Chorus of Salt Lake is founded by John Bennett  

2 July 1993 Friday

Another hot, hot day with it being over 100 degrees. I bought some tee shirts that said "Arizona" on them to bring back to Utah. I needed some new tops anyway. I just relaxed most of the day reading and visiting with mom. She said that she is upset that both my niece and her husband are not working and are just scraping by in Flagstaff.

            My sister Charline Wachs and my nephew Michael Wachs arrived from California about dinner time for the holiday although Michael was dropped off at his sister’s in Flagstaff. My brother in law Dennis had to stay behind and work. Charline said she was finally hired full time and she is making about $16 an hour.  As a school teacher I only am making about $13 an hour.

            I know that it hurt Mom’s feelings that my sister Donna has shut my folks out of her life and never attends family functions with her kids. Her choice. 

3 July 1993 Saturday

I went over to my Uncle and Aunt, Milton and Marie, to spend the night and to visit with them Milton didn’t look all that bad to me, just tired. We went into Sedona where I wanted to but two more tee shirts that said “Sedona” on them. I wrote Marie a check for them and she put them on her credit card for me. Later I saw that she had torn up my check. She said she wanted to do that for me.

            I brought my computer games “Oregon Trail” and ‘Sleuth” down so that Milton could play because he likes computer games. We stayed up visiting until midnight when Milton went to bed and Marie and I stayed up until 2 in the morning talking about family and me being Gay mostly. 

4 July 1993 Sunday Independence Day

I spent the night with my Uncle and Aunt, Milton and Marie at their place in Sedona. We visited all morning, catching up on things. Marie said that Carol and Gene Walker, my dad’s cousin and his wife, when out visiting Mom and Dad the last time, they were being Texas rednecks and running down Gays. Marie said she could tell Mom and dad were uncomfortable with Gene’s bigotry. I told Milton and Marie to tell Gene and Carol that I am Gay and that while I don’t care what they say, their comments hurt Mom and Dad. Milton said that Gene is a terrible gossip and if knows the whole family will know. I said "Well don’t let that stop anyone. If people don’t like me because I’m Gay, I don’t need to be going to see them then.”

            We went out for lunch at the Sizzler Steak House in Cottonwood and then over to Mom and Dad’s. There my niece Denise and her husband Aaron Ferguson, were down from Flagstaff with my nephew Michael Wachs. Michael is 18 now and is so tall like his dad. He has long dirty blond hair, and has kind of a grunge look but he is a handsome kid. Aaron Ferguson has long hair too so I guess that is the style. They both had little scraggly beards not full and thick like mine. I’d shave it mine off if I couldn’t grow one any better than that.

            This is the first time I met Denise’s husband and I hope they are happy because I was not impressed with him. Seemed like a real doper and dope. I gave Denise $100 as a belated wedding present. Real belated. They were married in 1990. Charline took the kids back to Flagstaff to see the fireworks but I stayed at Mom’s and we didn’t do much. I read some more from this book called "The Mark of the Nazis" which is an anthology of nine case histories of Germans who lived during the Third Reich. 

5 July 1993 Monday

Mom and Dad wanted to take Charline and me somewhere today to get out of the house so we ended up to this old Ghost Town of Jerome which was once the 3^rd largest town in Arizona. It was hot, hot, hot. While I am glad to see my folks I am anxious to get back to Salt Lake City. I gave my nephew Michael Wachs $10 so he can have some spending money when he goes home tomorrow. 

6 July 1993 Tuesday

I was up at 4:30 this morning to say goodbye to my sister Charline Wachs. She left for Flagstaff to pick her son up Michael to go back to California. Mom and Dad then drove me down to Phoenix to catch my flight home. I was back in Salt Lake City at 1 in the afternoon, Utah time. It seemed rather disoriented being back home so quickly but it was good to be home even if I was a little bit disorganized. After unpacking, I rode down to the Stonewall Center to see how everything was going and I worked for about 2 hours. 

7 July 1993 Wednesday

I had to go grocery shopping to get some food for the place. Billy Cat is glad to have me home. I went to the genealogy library looking up census records on the Elrods. Grandpa Johnson’s grandma was Milly Elrod. I’m not feeling well like I am getting sick. 

8 July 1993 Thursday

I have no energy today. My eyes are crusty in the morning and my shoulders, neck and the side of my head hurts like a cold had settled there but I don’t have any mucus. Just feel achy. Richard came over again and we  fucked. In fact I fucked him.

ADDITIONAL MATERIAL

·         Michael Walter Fluehe, age 31, died due to complications of AIDS. Michael attended Salt Lake Schools and was  preceded in death by his life mate, Mark A. Biedenbach. He was an active member of Stitch and Bitch of Kindly Gifts.

·          John W. Baldock age 41 died in Salt Lake City, of complications from AIDS. A native of Virginia. Received MA from University of Wyoming in 1976. Employed by First Security Corp. for the past 13 years. John is survived by longtime companion, Stuart Stone,

·         Loving father and son, Jerry Bernard Caton, 45, died July 8, 1993 in Salt Lake City after a valiant fight with AIDS. Born August 16, 1947 in Merced, California to James R. and Ruby Jewel Herring Caton. Married Rose Lee Leckenby, later divorced.  Survived by children, Mrs. Doug (Tiffany Noelle) Pickering; Mrs. John (Jennifer Lynn) Anderson; Gregory Alan and daughter-in-law Dava Remington; Amy Catherine; Sergio Gomez and Stacy Nicole; and Amanda Denise Caton; grandchildren, Spencer, Tyler, Jessica, and Charlie; parents, James R. and Ruby Jewel Caton; brother James R. Caton, Jr. and wife Clara; nephew, Russell Caton; and many close friends. Funeral Services Monday, July 12, 11 a.m., Goff Mortuary, 8090 So. State.  No public viewing. Interment, Larkin Sunset Gardens.    In lieu of flowers, family requests donations to the AIDS Foundation in Jerry's name. 

9 July 1993 Friday

I met this guy named Larry Wagstaff through the BBS board and he came over and we fucked. Then I went to the Center to work.  

10 July 1993 Saturday

My grandma Johnson died a year ago and I spent the day working down at the Stonewall Center.  Michael Pipkin is up from Moab to see his brother who very sick. I said he could stay here. 

11 July 1993 Sunday

I met up with Michelle Davies to discuss the goals of the library. Garth Chamberlain had a volunteer training meeting to show how to set the alarm code 26969. 

12 July 1993 Monday

This morning this fellow named Jason from the BBS site came over to my place. He, Michael Pipkin, and I had sex while we watched a fuck film. He was really cute and fine, and I enjoyed eating his ass but I doubt if there will be any repeat performance. After Jason left, I visited some with Michael Pipkin and then rode off down to the Stonewall Center to work from 1 to 5 in the afternoon.

Michelle Davies asked if I would go with her to the Stonewall’s Board of Trustees meeting at 7 this evening and I said I would. I presented a report on all that we have accomplished and are doing in the library. Babs DeLay and Bob McIntier were voted to replace Brandon Creer and Brenda Voisard who had resigned. I wonder how the choice of Babs will play in the Lesbian Community. Bobbie Smith and David Ball were at the Board of Trustees meeting I guess to take notes for the Pillar but I ignored them as much as I could.

ADDITIONAL MATERIAL

·         OGDEN ACTIVIST DIES AFTER 4-MONTH BOUT WITH LEUKEMIA Romola Joy Beech, 65, Ogden, well-known conservative activist, died Friday, July 9, 1993, of leukemia at the University of Utah Hospital. Mrs. Beech founded Citizens for True Freedom in 1976 and organized Families Alert and a number of other conservative organizations that opposed pornography, abortion and other social ills. She became ill about four months ago. At the time, she and her husband, Basil, were serving a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in the Canada Vancouver Mission. She was admitted to a Seattle hospital March 13 where she received chemotherapy. She returned to Utah May 31. For more than 10 years, she provided shelter for unwed mothers in her home. She founded the American Family Association of Utah, was associated with Citizens for Decency Through Law, Morality in Media and the Independent-American Party. She lobbied against sex education in the public schools and was co-president with her husband of Ogden High School PTA. She was heavily involved in planning for Utah and regional conferences on families. 

13 July 1993 Tuesday

Lar Wagstaff didn’t come over this morning as he said he would. So I typed up more on the Johnson Family history and after spending most of the afternoon on it, I finally got it finished. Finally.

            Anyway at 4 this afternoon Michelle Davies came and picked me up to go looking for bookcases for the library. I pulled $50 out of my account to go to Sutherland’s over on Redwood Road and North Temple. We bought some shelving boards and cinder blocks to build book shelves and we priced cork board panels to cover the window that looks into the library. It will cost about $35 for enough panels.

            Anyhow at 7 this evening I rode my bike down 9^th East to 20^th South to meet Dean Handsaker. He was a nice fellow but I could tell there would be no romance between us. At his place he showed a video of the Seattle Gay Men’s Choir which was interesting but kind of boring because I am not much of a fan of choir music. I made an excuse to leave at 10 tonight without having sex with him. I wasn’t really up to it anyway.  

14 July 1993 Wednesday

We have had such a mild summer so far usually in the 70’s and 80s. It feels a lot like fall. Hot days and cold nights. Michael Pipkin told me that his brother had died today. He was expecting it. He will be leaving to go back down to Moab after the family funeral in West Valley. 

    I need to slow down. I’m on the fast track again. This morning Lar Wagstaff called and asked if he could come over. I said sure though I need to be at the Center by 2 this afternoon. He came over and met Mike Pipkin and then Lar and I  went into my bedroom and he fucked me in the ass and it was unsafe sex. He was freaked out by it after he came. I said I’m the one who should freak being the bottom and I’m not worried.

            Anyway, after he left, my butt was so sore but I had to ride down to the Center. There I put up the bookcase we bought yesterday and processed all the donated books that keep coming in piles. Mark Haslam called and said he even wants to donate his Gay theme video movies. I said just to hang on to them until we can get a more secure place for them so they don’t just walk off.

            Garth Chamberlain was soliciting money for a copy machine for the Center. We can get a $600 one for $300 from someone he knows. I donated $15 but John Bush and Mike Connors donated $50. Chris Thomas was working in the library in a skirt and pumps. I thought it was funny and how I love camp.

            It was also funny to see Garth and Stan Rovig tangling over the design of the Center. Garth said that the designers under the direction of Stan were not being practical in regards to the abilities of the volunteers who will be doing all the construction work.

            I put in about 5 hours and left at 7 this evening to go home and get cleaned up for  and his lover Jim who were coming over at 8. We went into my bedroom and took turns fucking. It was fun, quick, and over.      

15 July 1993 Thursday

I went to the genealogy library this morning to give Mike Pipkin some time alone to be with his thoughts about the loss of his brother. While at the library I looked up some information on the Elrod side of my Johnson Family Tree.

            Leaving there I rode down to the Stonewall Center and was there until almost 10 at night so I put in a good eight hours of volunteer time. A woman donated a large bookcase to the library after we having bought some bricks and boards to make a temporary shelf. I had to tear it down and replace all the books on the new bookcase. I am also trying to figure out how to get the Utah Stonewall Historical Society up and running again while being a co-director of the library.

            I went to Unconditional Support tonight and there was a god turn out of nearly 20 people. We talked about President Clinton and his soon to be announced decision about allowing Gays to openly serve in the military.

ADDITIONAL MATERIAL

·         Cindy Kidd of the People With AIDS Coalition sued the state of Utah for invalidating her marriage to her husband because she has AIDS. A law passed by the 1987 State Legislature prohibited and invalidated such marriages. “Two months after her marriage, Cynthia Kidd learned she was infected with AIDS. She also learned that under state law the disease annuls her marriage.” On Wednesday, Ms. Kidd filed a federal lawsuit challenging the 1987 law that bans marriage with an infected partner. She argues the statute violates her rights under the Americans With Disabilities Act. Some 6,500 Utahns are infected with HIV, according to Robert Austin, the  Utah Aids Foundation’s. director of administrative services ``This law was passed out of fear,'' said Austin. ``We're seeing more and more married people who are living with HIV. Lawmakers know now that those who suffer from this epidemic need their compassion, not rules that restrict their quality of life.'' (07/15/93  Page: A1 SL Tribune) 

16 July 1993 Friday

I read in the Tribune this morning about a study that has found a gene on the X chromosome that probably causes homosexuality. I always believed it was genetic and not learned.

            Michael Pipkin left at 9:30 to go over to his other brother's place for the funeral. We said goodbye and then I logged onto the computer’s Magic Carpet BBS site where I was able to get my “handle” changed. I was surprised that I had some mail from Larry Wagstaff who was upset with me that I had told Michael that we were seeing each other. I was shocked and mad too. It’s so stupid to get involved with people who are still in the closet.

            I rode down to the Center and worked from 2 in the afternoon until 9 at night. Michelle Davies came down to do some work in the library and Thomas Webster was here working too. I saw Steve Oldroyd who said he’s doing some committee work for the Gay Games this summer.

ADDITIONAL MATERIAL

·         AIDS GROUP WILL SPONSOR FUND-RAISING PARTIES The Utah AIDS Foundation will kick off its third annual "Soirees a la Card" event - privately hosted fund-raising parties beginning Saturday, Aug. 7. The 14 parties will feature both culinary and visual delights, with all proceeds Benefiting Utah AIDS Foundation services, education and care. The gatherings will have a variety of themes - an afternoon in southern Italy, an evening in Old Mexico, a safari through Morocco, an old-fashioned backyard barbecue. For dates and further information, contact the UAF at 487-2323. Robert Austin, director of administrative services for the UAF, mailed a report to foundation volunteers earlier this month in which it was noted the foundation's biggest fund-raising activity, the annual Walk for Life, drew 200 fewer participants this year than it did in 1992 - causing a $25,000 shortfall in contributions. "We need to know that the community is behind us as we provide the most compassionate AIDS services and the most effective AIDS education possible," Austin said.  

17 July 1993 Saturday

Summer seems to be fleeting. I guess Mike Pipkin went back to Santa Fe today. I didn’t see much of him while he was here.

            This morning I rode my bike over to the Post Office because I thought I had a package there because the other day my PO Box had a slip in it. However the postal worker looked and said that there wasn’t anything for me so that was a wasted trip.

            The Mormon Children’s Parade was today and made it a little difficult to get across Main Street. From the Post Office I rode down to the Stonewall Center where I worked in the library all day. I stayed for Video Night and the film shown was on Leonard Matovich, the Vietnam hero who was drummed out of the service for being Gay. I saw Willy Marshall down at the Center and we visited a bit.  

18 July 1993 Sunday

I’m spending most of the Summer of ’93 at the new Center location working as that I am the co-director of the library with Michelle Davies, having replaced Bobbie Smith. She and her lover Melissa Sillitoe are down here almost every day fixing the place up. They brought to the center a case of books, donated by Stewart McDonald that we have to inventory before they can go up on the shelves.

The Center is becoming a pretty popular hangout which was my vision all along that Charlene Orchard and Craig Miller couldn’t grasp two years ago. It’s become a Gay home for the community again. I think Melissa Sillitoe and Michelle Davies can testify that I can work for the common good despite what was said about me. Deb Burrington and Charlene Orchard smeared my reputation saying to the community council that I had threatened them. I don’t know if I can ever forgive them for that and all the lies that Craig Miller said about me.

            I stayed at the Center until after 7:30 this evening and then rode my bike home. When I am not at the Center I am spending most of my time playing on the computer’s BBS boards and becoming sexually active again. Modern Technology.

            People in the Gay community are holding their breath over President Clinton’s decision to lift the ban on Gays serving in the military or not. It’s just not a paramount issue for me as I am of the generation that was anti-military due to the Vietnam War.

It’s been such a cool summer this year very strange. The Mississippi Valley is having some of the worst floods in years. President Clinton has nominated Ruth Ginsberg as a justice to the Supreme Court and she’ll be confirmed this week.

19 July 1993 Monday

I spent much of the day at the Stonewall Library talking with people just coming out of the closet who just needed affirming resources and someone to talk to. I didn’t get much work done categorizing our collection but in the long run spending time with folks is the greatest work we can do.

            I am upset with all the Clinton bashing I heard this afternoon. We need to bash Sam Nunn and Colin Powell not our allies. In the news President Clinton compromised about Gays serving openly in the military with this new policy of Don’t Ask and Don’t Tell. It didn’t satisfy any one. So Dale Sorenson, Chris Ryan and Kathy Worthington held a rally at the Utah One Center Plaza this evening to criticize the policy. However I kept telling people who were hating on Clinton that he has done more for Gays and Lesbians than any other President in history. Do we not want him re-elected so that another Republican cannot roll back any gains we have made?  God forbid.

          

20 July 1993 Tuesday

We landed on the Moon 24 years ago. You are old Father William. John Cunningham and I will always be 18 years old in my heart that year and lying on hot white sandy beaches at Capistrano and me gazing on the freckled the speckled his bare white shoulders as he layed on a beach towel.

            It was another long day at the Center. Going through all the old newspapers is what takes forever. Putting them in chronological order is a pain.

            I went to the show this afternoon with Charles Jones and saw "Hocus Pocus" with Bette Midler in it. I didn’t think it was as good as it could have been because it pandered a lot to kids.

            Rocky O’Donovan and Erick Myers dropped by the Center at 9 tonight. Rocky was excited about the Center and all its possibilities. They didn't stay long as we were closing down. He lost a lot of weight living in the desert. He said nearly 40 pounds. Being a hermit in the deserts of Moab agrees with him He’s just up from Moab visiting friends.  I told him about reorganizing the Gay and Lesbian Historical Society into the Utah Stonewall Historical Society. Not much he could say after abandoning it for his Vision Quest.

It was strange to see him on this day, as that it was with Mike Pipkin and Rocky,  that we were the first faeries in Salt Lake City. So much has changed since then. “She changes everything she touches and everything she touches changes.”  “Change in all the world I see; oh thou who changes not abide with me.” Maybe the Year of the Deer of the Butterfly Spread was meant for me to have unconditional love for our community.  

.Oh by the way David Ball has resigned from the Stonewall Board of Trustees and has taken off. No minutes from the June or July Community Council meetings were ever sent out either. He's burned out by Bobbie Smith, Brandon Creer, and Todd Dayley.

ADDITIONAL MATERIAL

·         On July 20, 1993, Douglas Edward Hansen, age 32, died of complications due to AIDS. He was born July 12, 1961 to Gerald Edward and Janis Tolman Hansen in Salt Lake City, Utah. He is survived by parents; friend and partner, Mike Bolin; brothers, Greg (Rosemary), and Russell; sisters, Angie (Craig) Hansen, and Sheryl (Dave) Groneman; and special parents, Earl and Shirley Kilgore, all of Salt Lake City. Doug worked with Pioneer Theater Co. for eight years in the wardrobe department as a dresser, wardrobe stock coordinator, and wardrobe supervisor. He was the Armorer for the Utah Shakespearean Festival for six seasons. He also had the opportunity to tour the U.S. for a year with John Houseman's "The Acting Company" as a wardrobe and wig supervisor. Doug loved his work and regretted having to give it up. He was gifted with his hands and enjoyed creating in many mediums. Doug was a member and Honored Brother of the Wasatch Leather men Motorcycle Club. "Thank you, Kristen and Maggie, for your love and endless help through a long struggle for quality. I love you." "Thank you Med III-all of you. Thank you to my family and friends who understood and were always there." In lieu of flowers, please make contributions to Utah AIDS Foundation or Holy Cross Continuity of Care.  At Doug's request, his body has been cremated. A memorial service will be held at Russon Brothers Mortuary, 255 South 200 East, Salt Lake City, on Monday, July 26 at 12 noon, where friends may call one hour prior to services. For special friends, a Celebration of Life will be held at the White Memorial Chapel, 150 East 300 North, Salt Lake, on Wednesday, July 28 at 7 p.m.  

21 July 1993 Wednesday

Another very cool day. I rode my back down to the Center at 1:30 this afternoon and stayed until 5:30 to work in the library. I met Jeff the "sysop" (sytem operator) for Hot Bauds. He’s a really cute man. Marlin Criddle came down to the Center as he's back from his vacation to Montana. He said he had a good time although he lost his wallet. I introduced him to Jeff.

            Rocky O’Donovan and Jason Dimmick came back to the Center this afternoon to check out our new digs. I got Rocky to commit to coming to Salt Lake City the 1^st Sunday in October to speak at the Historical Society's speakers project. I have Bob Waldrop committed to speak in November. I need now to get someone lined up for September and December.

            In the library I worked mostly going through the  Gay newspapers sorting through the duplicates and discarding what people donated that are not relevant for Utah. People have  a tendency to bring back periodicals from their trips and then think the archives might want them. We do not. 

            Garth Chamberlain mounted some of the bookcases and a cassette holder to the wall so they won’t tip over. This Lesbian named Deborah began the framing to make a meeting room for the center and Thomas Webster worked in the library again. They are here nearly every day.

            At home I played on the BBS boards for the rest of the evening and I made a date with John from the Magic Carpet site to go see a movie tomorrow. For Friday morning I also made a blind date with this one fellow.

ADDITIONAL MATERIAL

·         JUSTICES RULE MEDIA, PUBLIC CAN VIEW COURT DOCUMENTS By Marianne Funk, Staff Writer The media and public have a right to see court documents connected with a criminal case, according to the Utah Supreme Court. The court handed the media a victory when it ruled that the First Amendment gives the public and media a right to not only attend criminal proceedings but to review and copy documents related to those proceedings. Denying the public access to court proceedings "perpetuates general ignorance and cuts off public knowledge necessary to a full understanding of the criminal justice system," the justices said.  The same can be said for denying the public access to documents related to court proceedings, the court said in a ruling made public Monday. "We see no reason to distinguish generally between access to a preliminary hearing and the documents filed in relation to that hearing." The court concurred with a Columbia Law Review Article that said, "The availability of documents means that graft and ignorance will be more difficult to conceal."  Assistant Attorney General Annina Mitchell had argued against a presumed right to review such documents. "I'm not unhappy with the ruling," Mitchell said. "Now judges have an answer to the question: Yes, the media and public do get access to most things." Documents the media and public have a right to review include search warrants, probable cause statements and witness subpoenas, the ruling said. But the media's victory was mixed. The justices also ruled that reporters had no right to attend the preliminary hearing or review documents associated with the 1989 torture/murder of Gordon Ray Church. State Judges George E. Ballif and Boyd L. Park closed the preliminary hearing and sealed documents in the case, saying the public and media do not have a First Amendment right to review such documents. Attendance at the hearings and reviews of the documents would make it impossible for defendants Michael Anthony Archuleta and Lance Conway Wood to get a fair trial, the judges said. All five Supreme Court justices agreed. The media and public have a First Amendment right to attend such proceedings and review documents only if that right doesn't damage a defendant's Sixth Amendment right to a fair trial, the justices concluded. Although the media lost on their bid to see the Archuleta-Wood documents, they called the ruling a victory. For the first time the Supreme Court has said, "Yes, the media and public have a constitutional right to review court documents," said Kathryn H. Snedaker, who represented the Utah Society of Professional Journalists and the Deseret News.  Now Utah judges who attempt to close hearings and seal documents must show how their reasons outweigh the public's First Amendment right, Snedaker said. While the public has a First Amendment right to review documents related to a criminal case, they do not have a similar right to see and handle exhibits used at a preliminary hearing, the justices said. "Permitting the public to parade into a courtroom to inspect murder weapons, bloody clothing or other items of evidence . . . would severely disrupt the efficient performance of justice and create obvious problems concerning the court's and the state's mandate to adequately preserve the integrity of the evidence." First Amendment attorney Jeff Hunt was disappointed in that aspect of the ruling. "I don't think people will be trooping down to the courthouse and demanding to see the bloody clothing in the Kastanis case or other cases," Hunt said. "I think that fear is exaggerated." The court could find ways to let the media see those items and still preserve their integrity as evidence, he said. "We understand that you can't make a copy of battery cables and bloody shirts. But if the state is going to use these items to take away someone's liberty, then the press has a right to look at those and see what they are." (Wood and Archuleta used battery cables to torture Church.) "I'm pleased with that aspect of the ruling," Mitchell said. Archuleta has been sentenced to death for his role in the murder. Wood is serving a life sentence in prison. 

22 July 1993 Thursday

I was down at the Stonewall Center all day, shelving books and putting the archive files back in order. I didn’t get a whole lot done as I was visiting with  people. I did go to Unconditional Support this evening where there was a good size turn out. It was funny to hear Garth Chamberlain use my definition of the difference between being Gay and a homosexual. Maybe people do listen to me more than I realize. I guess all these little talks do sink in.  It was a just a year ago that David Sharpton died. It’s been cold today. What is up with this summer? In the evening I went to the movie with John the sysop for Magic Carpet. We saw the Tom Cruise’s movie The Firm.

ADDITIONAL MATERIAL

·         The state wants two women to drop their lawsuit challenging a Utah statute that invalidates marriages with partners who have AIDS. In return, the Legislature would repeal the 1987 law during its next session. The Utah attorney general's office, meanwhile, would not enforce the law. ‘Sounds fine except for one thing -- I've got a reason to rush,'' says plaintiff Cindy Kidd, 36, who was diagnosed with AIDS two months after her marriage. ``Criminy. It's AIDS. I may be dead by then.''  Attorney Brian Barnard filed the lawsuit on behalf of Cindy and Brian Kidd, another couple and children of both marriages who under the law could lose health-care, insurance and Social Security Benefits if their mothers die. Mr. Barnard contends the law violates his plaintiffs' rights under the Americans with Disabilities Act. The state is inclined to agree, said Palmer DePaulis, spokesman for the state attorney general's office. ``We want to work with Brian,'' he said. ``We'd use our best efforts to persuade law makers to repeal it. In the interim, we would make sure his clients were not affected. That should take away any possibility that anyone would be harmed.'' But Mr. Barnard said his clients cannot wait for the Legislature. ``First of all, there's no guarantee the Legislature will repeal it,'' Mr. Barnard said. ``Even if they do, the new law won't go into effect until May or June. That's nine months. My clients may not have that long.''    What's more, he said he already has been contacted by a dozen Utahns in circumstances similar to his clients' and he expects to hear from others.  Health workers estimate nearly 6,500 Utahns have the human immunodeficiency virus (HIV), which causes AIDS.    Rather than wait for lawmakers to convene in January,  Mr. Barnard has asked Gov. Mike Leavitt and Utah Atty. Gen. Jan Graham to sign a consent decree requesting an immediate court ruling on the constitutionality of the law. ``It's not the state we're worried about,'' said Ms. Kidd, who believes she contracted HIV ten years ago from a former boyfriend. ``We're worried about insurance companies. They won't have to pay Benefits if state law says we're not married. My kids are in limbo right now.'' Ms. Kidd did not know she was ill when she was married in Alta in 1991. Her husband adopted her 8-year-old twins. But under current law, the children would have no legal claim to their adoptive father's estate should their mother die, according to the lawsuit filed last week in U.S. District Court.  Another woman, identified in the lawsuit as ``T.E.P.(Peggy E. Tingey)'', was married in Farmington in 1989. She has since been diagnosed with AIDS. Mr. Barnard said the couple's biological child could be considered illegitimate under the law. Lawmakers passed the statute six years ago --despite warnings by their own staff attorney it might be unconstitutional. But sponsoring Sen. Stephen Rees, R-Salt Lake, argued the state had a more compelling right to protect public health. Now he says he would sponsor a repeal. ``I don't know what we were thinking,'' he said. Utah is the only state that annuls a marriage if a partner contracts AIDS. Other states have passed laws requiring HIV testing before marriage, but most of those laws were overturned by state supreme courts. ( 07/22/93 B1 SLTribune) 

23 July 1993 Friday

It rained and rained almost all day. My blind date never showed this morning probably because of the weather. I only got out of the house long enough to ride down to Smiths because I had absolutely no food in the house. It was a damp and wet day. I stayed in and played on the BBS sites talking to guys and watched videos. It only got up to 70 degrees today and the weatherman said that was a record low for July 23^rd.

            Well the happy little Mormon sidewalk campers are probably all soaked to the bone. I hope staking out a spot to watch the Mormon Parade is worth it.  It was two years ago today that I first met Jeff Workman. Tomorrow it will be 7 years since I met Billy Bikowski. I better stay home as I don’t seem to have very good luck meeting men at this time of the year.

ADDITIONAL MATERIAL

·         A group of dark-complexioned residents living together near 200 S. 1000 East found swastikas and the word "fags" spray-painted on their doors, exterior walls and cars. Officer Bell said a known skinhead contingent lives in the area, and members are considered suspects in that crime

·         Two women with AIDS have rejected the governor's offer not to enforce a state law invalidating marriages with partners infected with the disease. The proposal will not ``magically validate marriages'' that the state now decrees illegal, the women's attorney contends. On Thursday, Utah Gov. Mike Leavitt agreed to issue a temporary injunction staying enforcement of the 1987 law until the Legislature meets next January. He also said he would urge lawmakers to repeal the statute. If they refuse, he said, the state would continue to not enforce the law until a federal judge decides whether it is constitutional.  ``The attorney general and I agree this law should be repealed,'' the governor said in a prepared statement. But plaintiff Cindy Kidd, who was diagnosed with AIDS in 1991, will not wait. ``They've missed the point,'' said the 36-year-old Salt Lake City woman. ``Prosecutors are not enforcing the law now. But what about third parties? My insurance company may say `Oops! We won't pay your health bill because you weren't legally married.' Then what?''  Even if the Legislature were to repeal the law, said Ms. Kidd's attorney, Brian Barnard, the action would not ``magically validate marriages that were illegal when they occurred.'' The state would also have to pay damages suffered from consequences of invalidating the marriages, he said. Last week, Mr. Barnard filed a suit on behalf of Cindy and Brian Kidd; a second, unidentified couple, and children of both marriages. He argues that under existing state law, the children could lose health-care, insurance and Social Security Benefits upon the death of their mothers. ``What the state is proposing is nonsense,'' Mr. Barnard said. ``The damage is done. Like HIV-infected persons . . . vulnerable to opportunistic diseases, our clients are vulnerable to opportunistic insurance companies, governmental entities and persons waiting to take advantage of the void marriage.'' Ms. Kidd did not know she was ill when she was married in 1991. Her husband adopted her 8-year-old twins, but she contends they would have no legal claim to their adoptive father's estate should she die. Another woman, identified in the lawsuit only as ``T.E.P.,'' (Peggy Tingey) was diagnosed with AIDS after her 1989 marriage. She fears her biological child could be considered illegitimate under current law. On Wednesday, the woman's child, who also has AIDS, was hospitalized. Mr. Barnard wants the governor to consent to an immediate court ruling on whether the 1987 law violates the Americans with Disabilities Act. Utah is the only state that annuls a marriage if a partner contracts AIDS. (07/23/93 Page: B1 SLTribune) 

24 July 1993 Saturday Pioneer Day

It sure doesn’t feel like a holiday today. I didn’t go to Liberty Park at all for the Neighborhood Fair. It didn’t rain during the parade which was predicted but it was damp and muggy.

            Mark Lamar called me today. He said he’s ready to kick his boyfriend out but other than that he’s fine. i watched “Remembering David” today. I had taped it last September. Hard to believe he’s been gone a year now.

            I went to Bob Lowe’s Barbeque here at the Riviera. I made a blueberry lemon pound cake and brought it over. Not too many people showed up but did meet the “Syop” for the Meat Market BBS site. His name is Thayne and he said he knew Ken Francis. After the BBQ many left for the Mr. Drummer Contest at the Trapp but I just stayed home. I heard that Sean Ovillette has run off to Seattle.  

ADDITIONAL MATERIAL

·         Mormon Apostle Boyd K. Packer out lined the three greatest dangers to the modern church as being “the gay-lesbian movement, the feminist movement, and the ever present challenge from so-called scholars” SLC Tribune pB1 

25 July 1993 Sunday

I talked to John Reeves this morning. In a week I’ll be back in Boston. He said that Mark Malcolm, the kid I met last month, was over yesterday and they talked for hours.

            I went to the Stonewall Center at 1 this afternoon to help Melissa Sillitoe, Michelle Davies, Jeremy and his friend James Bangerter paint the walls. I stayed until 6 this evening then afterwards rode my bike around down by the 6^th South Viaduct. I saw this cute homeless kid taking a leak. When he saw me noticing him he started stroking his cock. I rode by him with my shorts hiked up so he could see my cock but he got nervous and hurried away.

ADDITIONAL MATERIAL

·         GAYS IN THE MILITARY 07/25/93 PREJUDICE BEST EXPLAINS GAY,LESBIAN `PROBLEM’ Byline: By Charlene Orchard and Debra  Burrington FOR THE SALT LAKETRIBUNE     President Clinton's ``new'' policy on lesbians and gay men in the military continues the ``old’ policy of erasing the existence of men and women who serve, often with distinction, in this country. The president had a historic opportunity to take the moral high ground and end the senseless and expensive discrimination. Instead, he is allowing the prejudices of the Joint Chiefs of Staff and Sen. Sam Nunn to haunt the lives of honorable men and women.  The ``don't ask; don't tell; don't pursue'' policy takes away the most important weapon lesbians and gay men have in the fight against bigotry. Research shows again and again that when an individual knows a gay person, that individual is less likely to condone discrimination against lesbians and gays. How can we fight prejudice if we pretend that gay people don't exist?   But what is right will, in the end, prevail. Self-expression is the cornerstone of freedom and is protected. We are fortunate to have documents such as the Constitution and the Bill of Rights, which we can use to secure the civil rights of lesbians and gay men.   The First Amendment guarantees that gay men and women have the right to reveal their sexual orientation, whether it be heterosexual or homosexual. In addition, the Equal Protection Clause of the Constitution provides security against the prejudices of one group being put permanently into law. There are a number of court cases that will articulate what these protections mean for lesbians and gay men.   The public debate over the past six months highlights how the so-called ``problem'' of gays in the military is really the problem of prejudice. Everyone knows that lesbians and gay men are in the military and that they serve well, with honor and distinction. The ``problem'' arises when a lesbian or gay man is suddenly known to be a lesbian or gay man. For some reason, this knowledge causes normally courageous and fearless service personnel to become immobilized with terror. Furthermore, because this normally intrepid soldier will necessarily panic, our government must legislate discrimination.   The question now is whether Sen. Nunn will pursue codifying a ban on lesbians and gay men in the military. Sen. Nunn may be proud to be a bigot, but that very pride may become burdensome. We may wonder why he cares so much about what goes on during those private moments between two consenting adults. For our government to legislate discrimination should be frightening to all Americans. Let us call instead for Congress to take a leadership role and end discrimination in the military.   Since the military is such an important American institution, it should take the lead in promoting social change, as it has with respect to racial and gender integration. Despite the pioneering role the military has taken in the past, we are now told that it cannot be a ground for ``social experimentation.''   Regardless of all the social change that has occurred in this country over the last several decades, America remains engaged in an obsessive love affair with traditional masculinity. Our romantic fascination with recovering the rugged manliness that continues to fade into history as the frontiers left to conquer disappear lies at the root of our inability to take a good, long look at what this obsession has cost us. Our unexamined defense of traditional masculinity contributes to many of America’s social ills, not the least of which is our failure to grant gay men and lesbians full citizenship.   By virtue of their very existence, gays and lesbians reject many of the social norms to which compulsive masculinity and its partner, compulsory heterosexuality, are so central, and yet function capably and often even with distinction in all walks of life. If we admit that this is true, then we also must concede that the social norms and sense of morality so self-righteously defended by traditionalists’ arena so crucial to our societies continued existence after all. Charlene Orchard and Debra Burrington are members of the Lesbian & Gay Rights Project, American Civil Liberties Union of Utah. 

26 July 1993 Monday

I had to go into the Center at noon to open up for Charles Jones who is sick. He’s part of the Fifty Plus group who meets for lunch on Mondays. While there I painted a wall some more until Lynn Nilsen and Ron Richardson from Spartan Travel came to the Center and I showed them around. They said they might be in Boston themselves when I am there next month. That would be cool and maybe we could get together.

            Tomorrow I have a date with Rob aka Peter North from the BBS boards. We are going to see  Clint Eastwood’s latest flick. I talked to this John from Magic Carpet tonight who is that site’s System Operator. We are going out on Wednesday or maybe Saturday.

            So what have I heard lately? Jimmy Hamamoto had his nipple pierced while he was in San Francisco. The Pillar may expand and have an S & M issue. Also  I heard that Brandon Creer is the boss there now and in charge of the paper. Nikki Boyer most likely will be the next member of the Stonewall Center’s Board of Trustees. I am going to miss the Center’s open house on August 7^th as I will be back in Boston.   Last Sunday’s paper had a whole feature on Boston in the Travel Section and it made me miss Jeff Workman since we were there last year. 

27 July 1993 Tuesday

I spent most of the day naturally at the Stonewall library but I did go out to the Post Office where some videos I ordered came in. I had ordered “Fortune and Men’s Eyes”, “Querille”, “The Ritz”, and “Harold and Maud.” I had not seen Fortune and Men’s Eyes in over 22 years not since my college days at Cal-State Fullerton. What memories did it pull up from my misty past. In fact watching it and hearing the opening title song again, I burst into tears. Boy, did it bring up to the surface some real stuffed down feelings about John Cunningham and my unrequited love for him.

            I went to the movies this evening with Peter North aka Rob. We saw “In the Line of Fire” which was Clint Eastwood’s latest film. It really was good but the date was a dud. First of all he was late picking me up which is like stating “you’re not very important.” He just wasn’t as interesting as I thought he’d be and he wasn’t very attractive to me. There was no chemistry between us. No love at first sight. 

28 July 1993 Wednesday

I spent the entire day at the Stonewall Center except when I went to the movies with John the Magic Carpet “syop”, system operator.  We saw “Another Stake Out” and I liked it surprisingly, although the critics didn’t. Richard Dreyfuss and Rosie O’Donnell were funny in it. Afterwards we ate at the Spaghetti Factory as we were at Trolley Square. I really didn’t want to eat as my stomach was really nauseous, I think from a bit of too much sun.  I think I was also a tad worried about running into Jeff Workman as he had a part time summer job there, but I didn’t. John is a nice man but I am unsure if I have an feelings for him.  

29 July 1993 Thursday

I was up at 6 this morning to catch a 7 o’clock bus down to the FHP Clinic in Midvale. I had a dental examination at 8 and a cleaning at 9:20. I also had an eye examination at 11:30 for it was an all morning ordeal. My bottom left back molar has gum disease and I’ll probably lose it eventually. I had no cavities but the hygienist said I had gingivitis and chewed me out for not flossing and brushing my teeth better. So I decided that if I am to save my teeth I need to brush them really good and floss every day.  She was merciless scraping the tartar off. Ouch. My gums bled a lot too.

            At the eye examination, the doctor said my eyes were healthy, however in a couple of years I may have to have bifocals. My eyes were dilated and as it was a very bright sunny day, I was squinting half blind getting back home.

            At 2 this afternoon I had a hair appointment with Jon Merrill. He cut my hair and trimmed my beard that was getting shaggy. It was good to visit with him and see what he’s been up to. Afterwards I went next door to the Gaia store and bought myself a “Rasta” hat as I wanted one even if I don’t have dread locks.

            Then I rode down to the Stonewall Center and worked in the library. I stayed all afternoon into the evening when I went to Unconditional Support for a while.  I invited Garth Chamberlain, James Kelly, Eric Robinson, and Brad over tomorrow for Pizza and to watch “The Ritz”.  

30 July 1993 Friday

I spent much of the morning getting ready for my video dinner party tonight. I cleaned the apartment and then went grocery shopping to buy ingredients to make veggie pizzas and rum pudding coconut cake. I also had to go to the liquor store to buy vodka for the Cape Cods.

            I went to the Center for a short while but had to leave before actually accomplishing anything. At 7 this evening Brad came over with Rulon and the Eric Robinson showed up followed by Garth Chamberlain. It was Rulon’s birthday so he and Brad had already eaten but Eric, Garth and I pigged out. We watched the Ritz first, then Fortune and Men’s Eyes. We had fun watching the flicks. Of course none of them had ever seen any of them before as they were too young. It was the first time I really have entertained in my apartment and I don’t know why I don’t do it more often.

            I saw Dan Fahndrich while I was out today. He said that he would do a Beyond Stonewall slideshow presentation for the 5^th of September’s Historical Society presentation. I’d like to get a bunch of activists to tell their stories. Rocky O’Donovan is set for October, Bob Waldrop for November, Patty Reagan maybe in December, Luci Malin in January, Bruce Barton February and Auntie De in March. 

31 July 1993 Saturday

Today is the end of July and Midsummer is over. I was busy trying to get last minute preparations done for my trip to Boston. I did ride  my bike down to the Center and ended up talking to Marlin Criddle. He asked my advice on keeping the words “Gay and Lesbian” in the title of the Stonewall Center; as it now says the Utah Stonewall Center a Project of the Gay and Lesbian Community Council of Utah.  Melissa Sillitoe is concerned that the words Gay and Lesbian may keep people from entering the center however I think it should be kept as a source of Pride.

            The framing of the center meeting room is going up. Marlin also said he thought it would be okay to make copies of the original video tapes we have in the library  to let people check them out so we don’t lose the originals.

            I went to the Full Figure Pageant at the Trap tonight. I hadn’t been in a bar for months. I saw Neil Hoyt and Chip Prince and Chip’s lover from Affirmation Days there. Chip is touring with Les Miserable which is in town. His lover who must be in his 60’s lives in Palm Springs. Don Glenn Jenny is a riot and so talented. I saw Walt Larabee with his lover David. He seems really happy and he is this year’s Empress of the Royal Court. I saw Bruce Barton also and he said he’d speak at the Stonewall Historical Society sometime. Chuck Whyte introduced me to Dean Walton aka Auntie De so I could get her to commit to speaking at the Historical Society. The show was fun but three hours long. I rode my bike home after a long day. Jimmy Hamamoto is back in Salt Lake from a California visit to see his family.

            Well July certainly flew by. The beginning was spent in Arizona visiting the folks and the rest of the month I virtually spent every day at the Stonewall Center getting the library put back together. I didn’t do my usually 24^th day at Liberty Park this year either. And now the Park City Art Festival is starting. I wonder if Billy Bikowski entered anything this year. I wonder who’s kissing him now if anyone.

AUGUST

1 August 1993 Sunday

Today is the first day of Lammas and tomorrow is the full Dragonfire Moon. I paid all my bills today and cleaned my house in preparation for my trip back to Boston tomorrow. I talked to mom today and she said my Uncle and Aunt, Milton and Marie were baptized members of the Sedona Church of Christ last Thursday on the 29^th of July. My nephew James Clark is home now out of jail and hope he can stay out. Tomorrow is the big day.

ADDITIONAL MATERIAL

·         Jeff Freedman created the Utah Stonewall Classic softball tournament for the Utah Stonewall Center 

2 August 1993 Monday

I was up at 4:30 this morning to catch a 5:30 connection out to the airport.  My Delta Flight left Salt Lake City at 7:00 this morning with a hour layover in Chicago. The flight was uneventful but long as I didn’t get into Logan Airport until 3:30 Utah time but 5:30 Boston Time.  John Reeves was there to meet me and it was good to see his face again.

            He had moved out of Peter’s house as he was selling the place and had found a one bedroom apartment about a mile or two outside of Boston in the Forest Hills part of Jamaica Plains. I was exhausted and John had to worked today so we just stayed home and visited. John ordered us a pineapple and green pepper pizza. It seems strange not being at Peter’s house. This apartment is like part of a converted house and kind of cramped. It came furnished so I will be sleeping on the couch. It’s really humid back here.  

3 August 1993 Tuesday

John Reeves had to go into work this morning and I went with him to Bunker Hill Community College. He showed me where his office is and introduced me to several of his colleagues who called him John but was impressive was when some students called him “Dr. Reeves”. ha! I took the T-train into Boston and got off at the Downtown Crossing to look for a White Hen convenient store that I remembered was on Hanover Street.  I got myself a large diet coke and then walked over to Mike’s Bakery to buy a wagon wheel loaf of Italian bread to go sights seeing. So I walked over to Polcari’s Coffee Shop that also sells these incredible spices in bulk because I love the smell of that place. The aroma is heaven.

I just then walked back to the Boston Commons and waited for John to get off work.  He picked me up near Boyleston and us drove home. He still has his Utah license plates on his Mazda and the tags have expired the year after he moved back to Massachusetts but he’s never been bothered by the police; even when his car was stolen and returned. I could see that his back seat had knife cuts in the upholstery but otherwise it hadn’t been damaged.

            Back at his place we watched the news some until John took me to this Chinese Place over in Jamaica Plains. I had Chop Suey which is hard to find in Utah. We then just stayed in for the rest of the evening. I was tired from walking around so much.  

4 August 1993 Wednesday

John Reeves didn’t have classes today so we went to see a movie playing at the Coolidge Corner Theatre in Brookline called “For a Lost Soldier”. It was a Dutch film with English Subtitles about a chorographer remembering, as a youth in WWII, being sent out into the countryside and falling in love with a Canadian soldier who was liberating his village from the Nazis. It was very good.

We ate some dinner afterwards at a place not far from John’s apartment. We stayed in for the rest of the evening and John and I talked about all the changes going on in Salt Lake City over what the Pillar did to me and my involvement with the Utah Stonewall Center’s library. He had a couple of books he wanted to send back to Utah with me.  

5 August 1993 Thursday

John Reeves went back into work to teach his Sociology classes and I stayed home this morning reading the Boston Globe and watching some of John’s videos. I wanted to get out so at noon I went to the Forest Hill T Orange-Line to the Back Bay stop near Copley Square. I bought a week’s special pass there so I could ride the T while John is at work to get around Boston.

            At the Back Bay Station’s men’s room, it was very cruisy. I was reluctant to do anything as I wasn’t sure what vice cops might be around but it was very interesting watch businessmen and college kids standing around at the urinals stroking their cocks. But I wasn’t here for sex as I wanted to go to the Glad Day Bookstore. At the bookstore I looked around there and saw some interesting books and periodicals I’d like to buy but not until I’m closer to going home.

            John wanted to go to the movies again so we went and saw “The Sandlot” which was kind of a kid’s movie but it was filmed in Salt Lake City so that was fun. It was a coming of age story about a bunch of kids who played baseball together. Karen Allen, Dennis Leary and James Earl Jones were in it.  

6 August 1993 Friday

John Reeves didn’t have classes today so we decided to go to Kelly’s in Revere Beach. We first stopped at Bucker Hill where John wanted to check his in-box and then we went north to eat lunch. Every time I am back in Boston I have to eat at least once at Kelly’s. It’s funny that they are famous for their Roast Beef Sandwiches but I’ve only eaten their Fried Cod fish and chips which are the best ever. The place was super crowded even at 11 this morning before the actual lunch crowd.

After getting our food, we crossed the street to the beach and sat under the pavilion where we had to guard our food from the Sea Gulls that are so brazen and will actually swoop down and steal French friesout of your hand. They can have them but they are not getting my cod fish.

The beach was not real packed but then it was a work day for most people I suppose. There were lots of moms with their kids and teenagers but not a lot of men. It was a nice day at the beach with a breeze coming off the ocean. It’s been hot and sticky in the city. 

7 August 1993 Saturday

We took a road trip out to Hardwick, Massachusetts to go visit the graves of my Revolutionary War Era Danforth ancestors. It was a beautiful day to be out. The town is about an hour and a half drive northwest from Boston. After walking around the graveyard and seeing some of the old Colonial era houses that are still standing we drove south down to the Old Sturbridge Village.  It is a living museum much like Plymouth Plantation but depicting life in New England from 1790-1840. As it was kind of pricey and we were anxious to get back into Boston we skipped it. Maybe next time I’m back.

8 August 1993 Sunday

I finally met John Reeve’s black boyfriend Donald. He seems really nice, small and wiry. John and he have been going out now for about six months after hooking up at the Pilgrim Theater, I think. Donald is funny but I don’t see where he and John have much in common except that John says he’s great in bed and is a good dinner date. Donald doesn’t have a steady job and lives still at home although he’s almost 30 years old.

            We went out to this Italian Restaurant and I just had the cheesy spaghetti. Donald’s conversation seems more about things and people than events. I don’t think he sees himself as part of the Gay community.

 ADDITIONAL MATERIAL        

·         FEST OF FANCY FOOTWORK COMING TO BOUNTIFUL By Therese Anderson, Staff Writer In a country known for dance steps like the moonwalk, traditional folk dancing for many has gone only as far as one semester in the junior high P.E. gym, prancing around like Russian horses to Tchaikovsky's "1812" Overture. For professional folk dancers like those appearing August 12-15 as part of the Bountiful/Davis Art Center's Summerfest International Arts & Folk Festival, the dancing lasts a lifetime. Groups from Turkey, Argentina, Russia, Mexico and the United States are coming to perform during Bountiful's Summerfest, one of only a half-dozen folk festivals known to organizer Katie McMahon. The performers are professional, but not paid. "They come from countries thousands of years old to promote their culture and their heritage," said McMahon. The festival includes fine art, handmade crafts and ethnic foods with a free street dance Wednesday, Aug. 11, from 8 to 10:30 p.m. in the Five Points Mall parking lot where the foreign musicians will provide live music. There will also be a parade up Main Street at 6:30 p.m. Thursday, followed by opening ceremonies at 7 p.m. at Bountiful City Park. Mexican natives are known for their fast-paced hat dance, the Argentines for their tango and the Americans for . . . break dancing? Excepting the Native American dances, the United States has no national or indigenous folk dance. And widely regarded as the melting pot, the United States bears the responsibility, perhaps more so than any other country, of giving its citizens a celebration of its diversity and its dance. Back when the country was a colony, dancing was a thing of folly and sin prohibited by Puritanical forefathers. But as immigrants carrying an innate love of dancing flooded the cities, folk dancing took to the streets and is regarded today as a work of art. Not only is the frenzied footwork of Mexican dancers, thought to be inspired by a primitive couple dance across a narrow board above a hole in the earth, a dazzle to watch, so are the costumes -"granted, they don't wear them as everyday garb," said McMahon. For example, every costume used in Mexican folk dance is significant, from the sombrero, which when picked up by the girl constitutes the climax of the "jarabe" dance, to the functional rebozo, worn by the traditional Mexican woman from infancy to death. In addition to the dancers, the Layton Arts Community Choir, the Salt Lake Men’s Choir and the Shanxi Folk Drum Troupe will perform. The troupe beats drums four feet high and three feet wide. Each of the groups will give a half-hour performance Friday and Saturday at the park from 11 a.m. until 6 p.m. All the groups will perform for approximately 10 minutes each at 7:30 p.m. On Sunday the performances will run from noon to 3 p.m. The festival's hours are 10 a.m.-9 p.m. Friday-Saturday and 12-5 p.m. Sunday. Admission is $1 (children free). 

9 August 1993 Monday

John Reeves had to go back to work. I took the Orange Line into downtown to check out the Art Cinema Theater on Tremont Street. To enter the Art, you have to pay at a ticket window right at the street entrance that also had a turnstile next to it like at a subway station. The place seemed seedier than I remember and there were only about ten Gay guys watching some porno on the screen. No one was sitting next to each other but they were playing with themselves in the dark.

            The theater was air conditioned and as good an excuse to be sitting down as any. I was getting bored until this kid came in and sat down right in front of me. He must have been a college kid and he pulled his pants down to his knees to begin jerking off. He was blond, kind of long hair, with furry legs. He kept turning his head, looking back at me, beckoning me to come sit next to him, so I did. He wanted a blow job and I was obliging. He was so horny and came pretty quickly, than left the theater, hopefully satisfied.

            I stayed for another half an hour but there weren’t any further action so I left also. There was a time when the Art was packed with men wanting hand jobs or blow jobs but not today.

            I walked over to the Commons and found a vendor selling veggie wraps and bought one for a late lunch. He actually was selling Mr. Pibbs cola that I hadn’t had in years so I bought one too. I sat on a park benched and watched the busy Bostonians strutting off to various businesses. I think it’s funny to see men and women in business attire with gym shoe foot wear. Comfort first I suppose.

            I took the Orange Line back to Forest Hills and walked the couple of blocks to John’s apartment. He was home and was cooking a tuna casserole for us. Something simple but filling. John is an excellent cook so it wasn’t just a plain old Campbell cream of mushroom soup tuna casserole. I will sometimes eat fish although I am still mostly a vegetarian or try to be. 

10 August 1993 Tuesday

John Reeves left for work after fixing us breakfast of waffles with real maple syrup. I wanted to get out myself and I guess because of yesterday’s adventure I went back to the Art Cinema Theater. I think I was as bored as much as I was horny. I must have gotten there at the “Business Man hour” because the place had way more men in the theater then yesterday. Maybe as much as thirty.

            The Art is not conducive for any hard core action like The Pilgrim Theater which is much larger. It’s a little more cramped and has no secret nooks for nooky. It’s more of a handjob or blow job kind of place of which a lot was going on in the darken theater that I could see as soon as my eyes adjusted from coming in from the bright outside.

            I found a seat and soon felt someone’s hand on my thigh. I didn’t want to seem rude so I let him feel me up. He wanted a bit more so I unzipped and he bent over to place his lips on my cock. He was an older guy probably my age but in a suit and tie.

            Some other kid came through our row to take a seat on the other side of Mr. Business Man who turned to give this fellow some attention. I didn’t mind. I tucked myself away and went and sat in another row against the wall more secluded.

I was alone for the rest of the “rush” hour until this Italian looking individual came and sat right next to me like he meant business. He placed my hand on his cock and said “suck it.” Who am I to say no to any indecent proposal? He was the proverbial Italian Stallion. As I was afraid of getting lockjaw, he slipped a condom on and pulled me on him. The place was mostly empty now and in the dark, so I had little qualms about being bounced upon Mario’s lap. When he was done, so was I and thought I ought to find something else to do when I am bored in Boston. But I must say Boston always has away to put a smile on my face. 

11 August 1993 Wednesday

John Reeves didn’t have classes today so we decided to go see a movie. We went downtown and saw Jurassic Park for the matinee showing. John hadn’t seen it before. I am glad we went to the matinee because when we came out of the theater, there was already a line down the street to go see it. The movie was really intense with great special effects. I had to shut my eyes at one point when the Tyrannosaurs Rex was going to eat this one dude even though U've seen the movie before I still dont watch this scene. But overall John thought it was a fun summer blockbuster and he’d see it again, for sure. I was glad that the theater was air conditioned too because it was really hot today and muggy.

            John’s place only has air conditioning in his bedroom so I have a small fan near the couch to use but because we are on the second floor it’s too warm at night to really sleep well.  I am already getting homesick and want to be back in Salt Lake City.  John and I haven’t been out whoring together in the Combat Zone this trip. I guess I am getting old. Ha! and John has a boyfriend Donald.

ADDITIONAL MATERIAL

·         Utah's AIDS prevention curriculum in schools is missing the mark, state officials say. A study published in this week's Journal of the American Medical Association found school-based AIDS prevention programs, in which students are taught to recognize and refuse risky behavior, play a modest but significant role in curtailing transmission of HIV, the virus that causes AIDS. Utah law requires all districts to include AIDS education in their curricula, but in practice that can mean anything from a 5-minute assembly to an entire chapter in health class. In the Journal of the American Medical Association study, New York City high school students participating in an education program were more likely than others to practice monogamy and to use condoms consistently. Jeannie Barlow, AIDS education specialist for the Utah AIDS Foundation, said One of the most effective techniques for students is when teen-agers learn from someone with HIV or AIDS. The disease becomes more personalized, They realize it could happen to them. ``My biggest beef is that we don't have a lot of consistency. Our hands are tied from the perspective that this is a sexually transmitted disease. It's hard to talk about sex in classrooms,'' Ms. Barlow said. (08/11/93 SLTribune)

·         The Utah Department of Health reports 10 AIDS cases and 24 HIV infections among teen-agers in Utah since 1983. Health officials believe there are more teens infected, but they are either not tested or they are tested anonymously, which means they are not included in state statistics. The state began requiring AIDS education in 1988. But all 10 teens with AIDS were hemophiliacs and acquired the virus from infected blood transfusions.   Of the 24 teen-agers reported as carrying HIV, none of them were hemophiliacs. All received the virus from sexual contact or drugs. (08/11/93  SL Tribune) 

12 August 1993 Thursday

In Boston the big news is that Pope John Paul II is in the United States to attend the Catholic World Youth Day in Denver. Boston is still a Catholic city in many ways.  I didn’t do much but some laundry. I only brought a few clothes back with me but I did bring a pair of Slacks and a nice shirt to go see a Broadway show in New York.  II spent some time catching up in my jounal.

13 August 1993 Friday

John Reeves and I took the bus down to New York City this morning and were in New York by 3 this afternoon. John had us originally booked into a bed and breakfast but some thing got screwed up so we checked into this 24 story hotel called The Carter, on 43rd Street between Seventh and Eighth Avenues. It was fairly inexpensive and it showed it. y room was a cracker box only about ten feet from wall to wall and 20 from the door to the window. I was in room 905 and John across from me. The carpet was stained ith who knows what, not blood I hope, but at least I had my own bathroom even if there appeared to be mold on the bathroom ceiling. The room had a bare bulb, but hey for $75 one can’t complain or maybe one can.

The hotel was just blocks from the Walter Kerr Theater on 48^th street and within walking distance. I have never been to a Broadway Play before so I was so excited to see Tony Kushner's play, Angels in America that is set in 1980s in both Salt Lake City and New York City. The main character, Prior Walter, is a Gay whose lover is a Gay closeted Mormon Lawyer who works for Roy Cohen played by Ron Lieberman. The Mormon leaves Prior because he has AIDS. Prior gets visited by visions and an angel.  It was one of the most magnificent plays I have ever seen; to me it was almost a religious experience truly. It sent chills though out me for most of the night. Although I have to say I felt prudish when they simulated anal sex on staged.

I believe the core of the play however eloquently expresses the heroic Gay response to the AIDS plague. I think it is one of the great redemptive acts in American history. Our response towards AIDS is so profound that it surely will usher in the millennium and wash away America’s sins.  

14 August 1993 Saturday

John Reeves and I checked out of the Carter this morning and hopefully didn’t bring any critters along with us. Since our bus back to Boston wasn’t until 7 this evening I told John I wanted to go to New York’s Gay and Lesbian Center that is located in the old Maritime Trades School on 13^th Street at 208 West.  I especially wanted to see the Vito Russo Library that is housed in their Center.

I was surprised to learn that their library had only opened in 1991 the same year as our library did at the Utah Stonewall Center. I was even more surprised how small their library is compared to ours. The kid showing off the library was proud that they had nearly 500 volumes. I didn’t want to brag that we had over 1500 books and periodicals in ours. They didn’t allow people to check out their books either and they were contained on racks that are rolled out into the first floor during their limited library hours. The book cases folds up so they can be locked when not in use. The kid showing me around called them “coffins” ha! It was a real eye opener for me as I thought New York’s Gay library would be so much grander.

            They also had a Gay and Library Archive that only started a year before us. Theirs started in 1990 and I started ours in 1991 but of course they have a lot more papers, periodicals, correspondence and photographs donated than we have but we will get there someday.

            Before leaving New York City, we then went to the Oscar Wilde Memorial Bookstore on Christopher Street and peeked in at the Stonewall Inn. At the bookstore, I bought about 7 video tapes to bring back with me that I wanted for the library. Most were Gay Affirmative histories like Before Stonewall and Common Threads: Stories from the Quilt. I also bought a couple of videos called Gay Erotica from the Past. They are the old silent porno films from the 1950 when muscle men were filmed in posing pouches. The seller at the bookstore said these shorts from the '50s and early '60s were called "smokers" because when the projector was running the cigarette smoke in the room could be seen in the light. There’s no frontal nudity so safe for Utah.

            It was a quick trip and spent a lot of money even if John bought the tickets for Angels which were almost $100 each!

            We caught the Bus from the Port Authority terminal and we were back in Boston before midnight. John had left his car in the paid parking lot which was nearly $25 for that alone but we were glad to be home after a long and gloriest adventure.

15 August 1993 Sunday

John Reeves and I stayed home all day mostly watching the Videos I bought in New York City. The Past Gay Erotica ones are almost comical by today’s standards. Almost all the shorts involve guys play fighting, then wrestling where then somehow they shed their clothes by happenstance but they all seem to all have on posing pouches under their pants instead of underwear. Ha!

I could tell that John wanted to go spend some time with Donald but didn’t want to leave me alone. I told him to go and I will be fine. I kind of wanted to be alone anyway. I love John but at times I just like to be left alone.

            John had food in the icebox so I just read for the afternoon and napped while he was out. As I didn’t have a key to his place I didn’t go out any, but that was okay after all the running around we did in New York.

            Still in the news is the sentencing of the two Los Angeles Cops that had beat up Rodney King last April.

ADDITIONAL MATERIAL

·         BEECH'S PASSING LEAVES A VOID I did not personally know Joy Beech but heard her voice many times championing everything good, sometimes with vicious opposition. The good she did in this world will never be completely known, but there are many like myself who thrilled to her brave leadership. Her passing has left a void for us all. Lucille Ridd

 

16 August 1993 Monday

I think I got heat stroke today. After John Reeves left for work I didn’t want to stay home so I locked up and decided to walk downtown instead of taking the T. I had on a pair of shorts and just a light shirt and a baseball hat but I don’t think I hydrated myself enough. It was only in the low 90’s but it was really muggy and humid out.  I walked about two miles up Tremont Street to downtown to the Glad Day Bookstore on Winter Street. There I bought a copy of Martin Duberman’s book Stonewall to bring back to Utah.

 I then walked over to Boyleston and over to the Reeds at Fenway. I also stopped in at the Ramrod to pick up some Boston Gay periodicals. I wanted to stay out until John was off work and home which he said he would be at 4 in the afternoon.

            I walked over to Brookline, cut back across Ruggles to Tremont, and was back at John’s place about 5. There I was suddenly really sick, flushed, and by body temperature was high. I couldn’t cool off so John had me go lie in the bathtub and run cool water. I was so sick to my stomach also. John said I probably had a touch of sun stroke as Boston’s weather could be deceiving with the high humidity compared to Utah.

            I managed to cool down some but the apartment was stuffy and I felt miserable. I know John was worried so he was very attentive to me making sure I had ice water to sip on.  

17 August 1993 Tuesday

Today is my last full day in Boston and I felt kind of weak all day. John Reeves hated to leave me but I said I would be fine and I watched some of John’s videos and read from “Stonewall” which is fascinating. I also slept some in John’s room, running the air conditioning in there. It’s one of those window units so it only cools that one room.

            So it’s my last day here in Boston. I am glad I came back to see John and especially to see Angels in America but I’ve stayed away from home too long. My life is in Salt Lake City not Boston.

ADDITIONAL MATERIAL

·         WAS CAR SHOOTING DIRECTED AT GAYS? Salt Lake police are investigating whether a man who shot a car in Memory Grove over the weekend was motivated by hatred toward gays. Several gay men were standing around a car near 8th Avenue and A Street about 1 a.m. Saturday when a man dressed in black and carrying a shotgun emerged from between two houses. The man raised the weapon and fired two rounds into the car, which was parked in an area that is a known meeting place for homosexuals. "Speculation is that the intent was to shoot the car rather than the persons nearby, possibly as a warning," according to a police report. Police K-9 units searched the area without success. Detectives are investigating the shooting as a possible hate crime, according to the report. 

18 August 1993 Wednesday

I left Boston today and I was ready to come home to Salt Lake City. Actually 16 days us too long to be away from home. I was getting antsy and spending way too much money. My two bags were packed to the max with all the books and videos I bought in New York City and Boston. I couldn’t squeeze another thing in them but at the Airport I wanted a sweat shirt that said “Boston” on it so I wore it rather than try to pack it. 

John and I had bought pizza again for lunch, but not the great pizza that they have in the North End. Then John Reeves dropped me off at the Logan Airport from where I left Boston at 1 in the afternoon on this wide body plane that was really comfortable. I flew into Minneapolis where I had to change planes and had an hour and a half lay over. I didn’t get to Salt Lake City until about 6 this evening Mountain Time which was 8 o’clock Boston time.

            I missed the last Route 50 bus into the city by 5 minutes so I had to wait another hour to take the night bus so it was nearly 7:30 in the evening getting into downtown. I walked from Main Street to 9^th East carrying my two bags rather than wait any longer for another bus. It was nearly 8:30 by the time I finally made it onto my apartment. Home Sweet Home. Billy Cat was so happy to see me.

            I had a ton of messages on my answering machine including a couple of obscene ones, wanting this faggot to suck their dicks. They were amusing. Well it was a great adventure on the East Coast but I spent way too much money!

ADDITIONAL MATERIAL

·         Page: B1 STATE SEEKS TO DISSOLVE AIDS LAW SOLICITOR GENERAL SAYS 2 MARRIED WOMEN WILL NOT FACE TRIAL STATE REJECTS LAW BANNING AIDS MARRIAGES  Byline: By Michael Phillips THE SALT LAKE TRIBUNE  The Utah solicitor general has sided with two women suing the state over its statute banning marriage with an AIDS-infected partner.    ``I don't know what the court will rule,'' said Utah Solicitor General Carol Clawson. ``But we don't intend to put these women or their families through a trial.'' Attorney Brian Barnard filed the suit last month on behalf of two married couples and their children, who would be considered illegitimate if their parents' unions are voided. He said the 1987 law was unconstitutional and violated the Americans With Disabilities Act. Mr. Barnard asked the judge to consider the suit a class action representing all Utahns in similar situations. Health workers estimate nearly 6,500 Utahns have the human immunodeficiency virus (HIV), which causes AIDS.  State officials agreed that the law -- which has not been enforced -- was probably unconstitutional. They asked the women to postpone their lawsuit until the Legislature could repeal the statute during its next session in January.  The women refused, fearing that an unscrupulous insurance company would take advantage of the statute and refuse to pay health Benefits in the event of their deaths.  So, in a document filed Monday, the state asked U.S. District Judge Aldon J. Anderson for a summary judgment declaring the law invalid.  ``Well I'm glad to see they've come to their senses,'' said plaintiff Cindy Kidd, who contracted the virus more than 10 years ago from a former boyfriend. ``It's about time. They only got around to joining us because we wouldn't back down.''    Ms. Kidd, 36, did not know she was ill when she married in Alta in 1991 and her husband adopted her 8-year-old twins. But under current law, the children would have no legal claim to their adoptive father's estate should their mother die, according to the lawsuit filed in U.S. District Court.  Another woman, identified in the lawsuit as ``T.E.P.'', was married in Farmington in 1989. She has since been diagnosed with AIDS. The couple's biological child could be considered illegitimate under the law.  The couple's child, who also has HIV, is a plaintiff in the lawsuit. The HIV virus is spread most often through sexual contact, contaminated needles or syringes shared by drug abusers, infected blood and from pregnant women to their offspring. Utah is the only state that invalidates marriage if a partner has AIDS. Other states have passed mandatory HIV testing for couples who wish to marry, but most of those laws were overturned by state supreme courts. Utah's law has never been tested in court.  ``If the state had done this last month, it would have saved a bunch of attorney's fees,'' said Mr. Barnard, who said he has spent about $10,000 on legal research and interviews with prospective witnesses. ``It was probably the negative publicity that brought them around.'' Ms. Kidd and another plaintiff had been contacted by several national radio and television talk shows and appeared on a few programs, including the ``Jane Whitney'' show, which has yet to be aired 

19 August 1993 Thursday

It was a very fun day. First I called Mom and she said that she and Dad are going to California for my uncle Milton’s surgery because it doesn’t look good for him. His cancer is back in his colon. She said my sister Donna was fighting with her husband Ken Jones. I wish she would just leave the jerk

I gave all the videos and books that I had bought in New York City to Michelle Davies and Melissa Sillitoe to take down to the Stonewall Library while I rode my bike. I was at the Center from 1 this afternoon until 9 at night when I then went to the Deerhunter.

            While in the library I processed all my books and videos and was so excited about all the things I wanted to do for the library like join the National Association for Gay and Lesbian Libraries, start a Youth Writing Project, teach a Gay History class, and continue to build up our video collection. I told everyone who came in today how wonderful Angels in America was.

Garth Chamberlain and Eric Robinson were sponsoring a beer bust at the Deerhunter to raise money for their Volleyball Tournament trip to San Francisco over Memorial Day Weekend. I went to the beer bust to support them and while at the Deerhunter I bought a membership for $20. I only had two beers but danced a lot with Garth’s volleyball group. I hadn’t been out drinking and dancing in so very long.

The Deerhunter looks great, Steve Baxter the owner has really made his bar a great space. I especially like the new dance floor in the back. I met this “straight” married friend of Garth’s who I started giving him a back massage and he started giving me one too which I really need.

I left the bar at 10:30 as I was really tired and even with only two beers I was really tipsy riding home. I am such a light weight. Well my summer vacation is about over. I am back home in my own bed and it feels really where I need to be.  

20 August 1993 Friday

I rode my bike down to 27^th South and State but I was too tired to pedal any further so I finished by taking the bus to 7200 South to pick up my new glasses. I had to pay a balance of $68 for them. I had lenses treated so they would be so thick. I like them.

            Back in Salt Lake I rode over to the Stonewall Center at 12:30 this afternoon to open up the place but I screwed up the pass code. I just punched in 6969 instead of 26969 so I had to call Honeywell to reset it and then all was okay from there on out.

            Alex Williams volunteered from 1 until 5 this afternoon at the front desk and I stayed until 5, myself. David Ball came in while I was there to visit with Alex. I treated him like a stranger. Harold Jones came in to volunteer his shift and we visited some but it’s hard having a conversation with him as he argues way too much about anything. He did say that he’d make copies of the videos and make dubs for the library but geez louise everything is an argument with him. He wanted to put two movies on per tape and I said no Harold, Only one. I wanted the quality to be good and not have people scroll through a movie to get to the one they want to watch. God damn it. Quit arguing with me.

            I was at the Center for 4 ½ hours today.  Barb and some other Lesbians were in nailing the framing for a new room to the floor. They did a great job but made a hell of a lot of noise. They had to stop however when Melissa Sillitoe informed them that they did not have a building permit. Whoops! So no more construction is to take place until that glitch is taken care of.

            Back at the Riviera, I went to Melissa and Michelle Davies’ barbeque party to be sociable but left at 8 this evening as I was really tired. 

21 August 1993- Saturday

I was so tired this morning and didn’t get nearly as much accomplished as I had hoped. I rode my bike down to Stonewall Center to pick up some Utah Stonewall Historical Society forms to put on tables at the Royal Court’s Carnival. I told Melissa Sillitoe that I would staff the Stonewall Center booth which I did from 3 in the afternoon until 7 this evening.

Carnival is an annual fundraiser for the Royal Court but hardly anyone was there. I don’t know why.  I set out the Stonewall Center’s tee shirts and mugs to sell and talked some with Bruce Harmon and Bruce Barton. They were raising money for their new church they are starting in Ogden. I think it’s kind of a last hurrah.  Bruce Barton said the old group at the Salt Lake MCC said that if Bruce didn’t drop his lawsuit against them, they would publish the original charges of malfeasance against him. What a mess. It reminded me to stay out of it. I have no dog in that fight.

            Walter Larabee was in his element as Masters of Ceremony. He seems happier than I’ve ever seen him. I saw Steve Oldroyd who I haven’t seen in a while also. He said he had been back in New York City for the Gay Games. I gushed about being in New York myself and how wonderful Angels in America was.

            Melissa came by the booth for a little while and Kevin Hillman tried to sell left over Pride Day tee-shirts. I heard that Melanie Bailey who caused so much trouble in Queer Nation is now in the Central American import business. She was selling clothes and bags at the Carnival. There’s not a whole lot of news about town, other than that.

            After my shift I went back down to the Center and worked there until 9 at night. I talked with Bryan Stone-Daley about talking over the position of Video Night Volunteer which is a a project of the Center. He was excited about that. My volunteer hours were about 6 hours today.

ADDITIONAL MATERIAL

·         Douglas Charles Koehler, 31, was murdered tragically in Park City, Utah.  Born September 3, 1961 in Salt Lake City, Utah. Douglas owned and operated the FRAME-IT Shop.  Douglas C. Koehler, 31, of South Salt Lake, was shot once in the chest in a condominium parking lot near ParkWest ski resort. David Nelson Thacker, 26, of Unionville, Nev., was charged with murder, and Clint Marcus Crane, 21, of Albion, Idaho, was charged with obstructing justice. Thacker kicked Koehler out of his apartment after Koehler allegedly tried to kiss him. Crane said that some time later, Thacker decided to "go get the guy" and both drove to find him. Koehler was shot while his hands were in his pockets, police said. Trial for Thacker is set, but Crane has agreed to testify and the charge against him is on hold. Alleged motive: Anger, possible hate crime. Cause: Gunshot.

22 August 1993 Sunday

Today is a day to connect with the past. I called John Cunningham but he wasn’t home. His mother Ruth Cunningham said he was out on a drinking bender. Poor beloved John. I must have talked to his mother for an hour. I caught up on how her family is doing. The last time I saw her was in 1972 right before moving to Utah to attend school.

I was mostly interested in John of course. She said he’s one year away from retiring from the Fire department. She said that he’s in good health except for his drinking and said he’s got a belly on him from his drinking. That pleased me to no end knowing that I am not the only one decaying and had gotten fat. I am so glad that the magnificent god-like John has a physical imperfection.

            I surprised Mrs. Cunningham by my knowing that her maiden name was Hamilton. There’s not much I haven’t stored and treasured in my heart from the brief time John and I were together. She was interested in her family tree so I said I’d look up what I can find in the Mormon Genealogical  library. He father was a man named Francis Asbury Hamilton, the son of William Hamilton who was a Union Civil War soldier.  She thinks they were from Trenton, Missouri.  She was born in Chinute, Kansas in 1921. Her grandfather William died in 1927 at the age of 87 so he would have been born about 1840. Her father died in 1971 at the age of 98 so he was born about 1873.

            John, sweet John, what calls me ever back to you? I told Mrs. Cunningham that John means a lot to me and always has without telling her I love him. She said to me “Well you were school mates.” So I know she doesn’t realize that I almost consider her my mother-in-law.

            Michelle Davies called me and asked if I’d go to the Stonewall Center to train Walter Curry to volunteer in the library procedures. I said I would so I rode my bike down there and stayed at the Center from 1 in the afternoon until 7 this evening.

Walter is this 25 year Black man who when we got to visiting early this summer said he was from Barnwell County South Carolina where my ancestors once lived. I said I knew a lot about Barnwell and I’d look up and see what I can find on his people.

            James Kelly is holding a Catholic Mass at 4 on Sundays at the Center. The Restoration Church holds its Sacrament service at 10:30 in the mornings. Affirmation then holds their meetings at 5.

            Jon Butler came in this afternoon with a friend named Scott who is Russ Lane’s roommate up in the Avenues. They were here for Affirmation along with Frank Fatah True and Johnny Anderson. Not that many showed up compared to the crowds that use to come to Affirmation. I hear that Reconciliation draws off the Gays who still want to be “true believing Mormons”.

            After Affirmation, I showed people around the library. Frank I talked briefly about how Billy Bikowski is “straight” now. He said that Billy called him a couple of times but Frank finds it difficult to handle Billy’s back in the closet position. I told Frank that I still love Billy but for my sanity I try to keep a safe distance from him.

            I am still plugging along with what I want the Stonewall Library to accomplish. I reread the play Angels in America and I almost cried at parts of it even now. The millennium approaches with the cleansing power of Gay Spirituality and Redemption

            Well the weather is warm and very much like the end of summer. I’m feeling real run down. I think I have post vacation blues and pre-back to school stress. Tomorrow it’s back to work. So it’s been a strange day of circles

ADDITIONAL MATERIAL

• ·         Page: C1 Members of the Utah Naturists enjoy sunset over the Great Salt Lake. Nudists say their numbers are growing. UTAH NUDISTS CLOAK THEMSELVES IN SECRECYUTAH'S MISUNDERSTOOD NUDISTS ABOUND, BUT UNDER CLOAKOF SECRECY Byline: By Christopher Smith THE SALT LAKE TRIBUNE    From Lake Powell houseboats to backyard barbecues in Sandy, nudists in Utah have carried on a low-profile yet busy social calendar for the past three decades.   Legal or not, it is a phantom lifestyle, one they say is widely misunderstood by the ``textiles,'' nudist jargon for the clothes-wearing public. And several nudists say it's time that clothing-optional areas be established on public lands for the growing number of recreationists who enjoy Utah au natural.   ``Utah is the biggest nudist park there is,'' says Ed, a retired computer programmer who leads the state's largest social nudist organization, the Utah Naturists. ``There's so many square miles of public land and so few people, that you can just go bare and there just isn't enough enforcement to watch every square foot.''   For the past 10 years, Ed has been organizing and nationally marketing clothing-optional Utah vacations. Last month, his Colorado River raft trip attracted 33 nudists while a Lake Powell houseboat excursion drew 22.    There are 75 active members of the Utah Naturists and approximately 25 active members of the state's other organized nudist group, The Sunshine Club. Both groups say they are forced to hold activities in private homes or remote locales because of misperceptions about their unclad lifestyle. While they have no compunction about baring it all, most social nudists prefer to remain anonymous because many of their friends, employers and family would be shocked with their passion for going bare. ‘The fact that you're afraid to let people know you're a member implies persecution,'' says Marge, a mother of six who inactive in the Sunshine Club. ``I simply could not let people I work with know, unless they were very, very close friends.''   Despite feeling like lepers at times, Utah nudists say their numbers are growing as the state's population jumps and as more people believe social nudism is about recreation, not procreation.   ``The misconception that people have is nudity equals sex and they envision all these orgies,'' says Jerri, a beautician in her 30s who serves as social director for the Utah Naturists. ``But we're just normal people and couples who love to do things together, like play volleyball, hike, swim or just sit and talk.''   Then she adds with a grin: ``I'm still trying to find a place for us to go bowling.''   Touted as a natural, healthy lifestyle, American nudism was inspired by the European version at the turn of the century. During the 1960s and 1970s, it became a fad for swingers. But now, social nudism is promoted as a family activity for married couples. Parents want their children to be raised ``without shame.''   ``What could be more wholesome than to teach your children the body is beautiful, the body is natural and there’s nothing to be ashamed of?'' says Marge, whose children -- from toddler to young adult -- join she and her husband at organized nudist activities in the Salt Lake Valley.   ``I've been a nudist since I was born and I don't see anything wrong with it as long as you're around friends,'' says the14-year-old daughter of one Salt Lake nudist couple.   ``It's not about sex. I'm proud to say I'm a virgin and will be until I'm married.''   Most religions equate public nudity with immodesty, a temptation for sin. But many Utah nudists feel the state’s ecclesiastical underpinnings create repression.   ``I was raised in a very restrictive, inhibitive LDS [Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints] family and I had this fear of ever letting anyone see me with my clothes off that created a lot of self-consciousness,'' says Christina, a member of The Sunshine Club. ``But then you find just being naked, standing before the world with nothing to hide, is psychologically powerful.''   But standing before the world in Utah is usually done far from the world's eyes. An international guide to nude recreation locations lists places in Utah like Arches National Park, Millcreek Canyon, Inlet Park Hot Springs (near Lehi) and the High Uintas Wilderness.   Most active nudists must travel out of state to find a safe haven to wear their birthday suits. The rustic nudist colonies of past years have given way to ``naturist'' retreats, clothing-optional resorts such as the Mountain Air Ranch near Littleton, Colo.    Two social nudists groups exist in Utah. The Utah Naturists was started in 1982 and is affiliated with the American Sunbathing Association and the Naturists Society. Club officials ask that stamps be sent with inquiries to Box9058 in Salt Lake City, 84109.   The Sunshine Club, a descendant of the now-defunct Utahns, was founded in 1972 and also is affiliated with the American Sunbathing Association. Information is available at Box 70015 in West Valley City, 84170.   Both clubs grew in the mid-1980s, after a crackdown on nude sunbathing at Great Salt Lake beaches and a June 1984 cover story about the lifestyle in the now-defunct Utah Holiday magazine.   But the membership spurt brought problems.   ``We didn't know everybody, and things were getting out of control,'' Ed says of why he disbanded the Utah Naturists in 1986. He subsequently reformed the organization that year by inviting back members who shared the naturist philosophy.   The Sunshine Club experienced a similar turnover, says club membership director Dan, an executive who wears a `Calvin and Hobbes'' comic character T-shirt with the slogan: ``Life is short. Play naked.''   There is a slight rivalry between the two clubs but both share some common rules of conduct. No touching, no sexual overtures and no Romeos.   ``We are not a dating service,'' says Ed, whose club encourages single men to join with a female friend.   The naturists tend to be an earthier group, focusing on becoming one with the ecology, while The Sunshine Club members are simply ``free spirits who enjoy being nude,'' says Dan, whose license plate reads NU-D, for ``nudey.''   ``There are a lot of people who think we are exhibitionists,'' he says, as the theme from ``Northern Exposure'' plays on his living room stereo. ``We try to be discreet, but the problem is, if federal lands don't have clothing-optional places then we are forced to go to places where we might run into the public.''   Starting a private nudist resort in Utah or having a section of public land in the state declared clothing-optional is a dream shared by many Sunshine Club members. Few are more passionate than Patty Williams, a former club president who doesn't mind being fully identified.   ``It's such a large planet and all we want is a very small space where we say, `OK, we're going to be nude here and if that offends you, there's a nice big planet left to go play somewhere else in,' '' she says.   Utah, where the Mormons landed and the politicians still are likely to sputter red-faced over public nudity, will never be another St. Tropez. But the approval of clothing-optional areas on public lands is growing nationwide.   In a move proclaimed as ``crossing the Rubicon'' by the Naturist Society organization, the National Park Service last July unofficially created the first clothing-optional public beach at Gateway National Park in New Jersey. After years of clashes between those in swimsuits and those in nothing, the Park Service decided to experiment with ``managing a nontraditional recreation use.''   Signs warn visitors that ``Beyond This Point You May Encounter Nude Sunbathers,'' and as many as 5,000 people wanting to erase tan lines crowd the nude beach section at Sandy Hook each weekend. The situation is the same at Rooster Rock State Park in Oregon and Blacks Beach near San Diego.   Utah nudists want equal treatment.   ``I have a right to be nude in my own sphere, to practice my beliefs in my own space,'' says Ms. Williams of the Sunshine Club. ``Not attacking anybody, not trying to convince anybody they should be nude but just having your own sphere, which for most nudists, is a very small sphere.''
• ·         Chet O'Neil Harris, 30, was shot in the head and neck. His body was found in an 320 S. Jeremy St. Tan T. Nguyen, 16, was charged with capital murder and aggravated robbery. Taun In Ly or Em Taun Ly, 18, was charged with theft, but that charge was later dropped. Both were arrested as they returned to Salt Lake City on a bus. They had been involved in an accident in Harris' car in LaGrande, Ore. Nguyen told police he was upset because Harris had made homosexual advances toward him. When he told Ly about it, Ly apparently said they ought to shoot him. Nguyen said he shot Harris in the chest and drove off. They returned a few minutes later and Ly apparently fired the fatal shot to the head as a wounded Harris was inching his way along the ground. Prosecutors say they don't have enough admissible evidence to charge Ly because they cannot use Nguyen's testimony against him. Motive: Unknown, likely robbery. Cause: Multiple gunshots.

23 August 1993 Monday

Well it’s back to work at Orchard and I’m sick with a cold. I caught it last week sometime but it’s full blown now. Ugh. I was up at 6 this morning and then caught the Weber State Bus at 7:15. I was at work by 7:30 in North Salt Lake.

            The big surprise is that Joanne Sandberg is gone and had transferred to Washington Elementary in Bountiful. She hated Stanger and the office gals hated her too.  So Mr. Maxfield, Louise Johnson, Mrs. Scott and the Secretary Thera Carlson are all gone. Mr. Maxfield and Mrs. Scott retired and I think the rest either quit or transferred to another school. Only the 5^th Grade and 1^st grade saw no changes in faculty.

            Being back now, it doesn’t seem like I ever left for the summer. I found out I have 30 students, way more boys than girls. Ugh! It’s so unfair of Stanger because Mrs. Day only has 26 and Mrs. George 27 when our class’ sizes are suppose to be equal.

            I was so exhausted from my cold, that I stayed in this evening but did hear that the Stonewall Library volunteer never showed up. I’ve decided to set up definite hours for the library to be opened and get some reliable volunteers in to staff it instead of the flakes who come in willy-nilly when they feel like it.

            Well the school year 1993-1994 has arrived. Nine months to try to turn 4^th graders into 6^th graders by instilling skills and information to last a life time. And shit! my bike has another flat tire from those damn goat head thorns that are everywhere.

ADDITIONAL MATERIAL

• ·         Identification: The Summit County Sheriff's Office has identified a man found dead Saturday in a Park West condominium parking lot as   Douglas Koehler, 30, Salt Lake City. Sheriff's detective Joe Offret is investigating the death as a homicide. A newspaper carrier found the man's body about 6 a.m. in the parking lot of the Cedar Lane condominiums near the ski resort. - (08/23/93  Page: B2 SLTribune) 

24 August 1993-Tuesday

The back to school faculty meeting was long and boring as usual. It lasted from 9 in the morning until almost 1 in the afternoon when we could have been working in our classrooms. There were a lot of new faces but no young ones. Stanger won’t hire anyone who isn’t almost ready to retire because they won’t challenge him on anything.

Going around in a circle,  we had to introduce ourselves and all the women were all saying “I have 5 children” or “I have 12 grandchildren” or some other banal comment. Blah, blah, blah. When It was my turn I just said “I have a mean cat.”

Dan Unger made this homophobic comment about Gay Parade in San Francisco as he had been there for the Utah Education Association and NEA convention at the same time. His wife Leanne is the school secretary now. Talk about your Davis County nepotism. Our old one Mrs. Carlson was always kind of frazzled and she and her aide did have it out for Mrs. Sandberg. They once  wrote an anonymous nasty letter to her urging her to quit because she was a lousy teacher.

            Well I’m back at Orchard and Elayne Day has already stabbed me in the back by having this trouble maker transferred from her class to mine so now I have 31 students and she only has only 25. When Stanger called me in to tell me about the change, I said to him “Why is it that every year, Elayne has a student transferred into my class?” I was mad that because she can’t control her kids and I can, and Stanger knows it, he always dumps the difficult kids on me then gives me shit that my kids are unruly. Well I guess I will make the best of it I suppose. What else can I do? It doesn’t even seem like I’ve had a summer now that school is back in session.

            Back in Salt Lake City, I rode my bike to the Stonewall Center to find out what type of ribbon I needed to buy for the library’s typewriter. Harold Jones was the volunteer on duty in the library.

            The first meeting of the Gay and Lesbian Choir met tonight at the Center. It’s been orchestrated to give an option for the closeted Salt Lake Men’s Choir. I heard more women showed up than men and that I believe John Bennett is the driving force behind this new choir.

            I left the Center at 7 this evening, really tired from going back to my job. At home I worked on the Library manual of by-laws and procedures and made a monthly volunteer schedule. I worked nearly 4 hours on Center stuff.

ADDITIONAL MATERIAL

• ·         Mikhail Baryshnikov the Russian superstar danced for the first time in Utah night to  a sellout crowd at Salt Lake City's Capitol Theatre. The performance was repeated Wednesday night, again a sellout. Baryshnikov made his Utah debut with the White Oak Dance Project, a troupe of seasoned modern dancers who have been touring the United States for the better part of three years. After the Show: Baryshnikov and his entourage made the trip to the elegant Capitol Hill home of Salt Lake City restaurateur Tom Sieg, who was host for a post-concert party attended by 400 guests. Baryshnikov posed briefly for pictures – one with Ballet West artistic director John Hart and another with LaDonna Moore, executive director of the Utah AIDS   Foundation, the recipient of a $5,000-plus donation from performance/party proceeds. Would you pay 125,000 rubles to see Mikhail Baryshnikov?  400 people paid $125to see the Russian-born dancer at the Capitol Theatre and rub elbows (literally) at a post-performance cocktail party. On opening night Tuesday, the ``Misha'' magic was much in evidence as a capacity crowd applauded every move of the lithe and delightsome star, lead dancer of the eight-member White Oak Dance Project. Salt Lake restaurateur Tom Sieg lent Ballet West his spacious, gracious digs on the city's north side for the party, a Benefit for Ballet West and the Utah AIDS Foundation. For Utah AIDS Foundation executive director LaDonna Moore, having the famed dancer put the spotlight on AIDS is as important as the monetary donation. UAF development director Maxine Margaritis agrees.08/26/93  Page: A1 SLTribune) (08/29/93  Page: B8 SLTribune) 

25 August 1993 Wednesday

I’m not really getting a good night rest. It’s hard again getting used to this getting up early to catch the bus. I spent much of the day at Orchard visiting with Chari Horton and Karen Fisher. Karen told me that she has a Gay nephew. The subject came up when I was telling them of the Broadway show I saw this summer. She made me promise not to tell anyone the "dirty little secret". To make her feel more at ease I lied and said I have a Lesbian sister. Well all Lesbians are my sisters so it’s not a complete lie.

            We talked about how all the women at the faculty meeting yesterday only described themselves in relationship to someone else, like children, a husband, or grandchildren, instead of any accomplishments or interests of their own.  Karen said I made her feel better. She is a divorced Mormon.

            I ditched going to the District's pep talk rally up in Farmington and went home. I finished typing up the Library manual on procedures and then rode down to the Center. There Lynn Gillman was the volunteer for the night. We couldn’t label any books because the type writer needed a new ribbon. I told Lynn I would get one.

I also wanted to talk to the Youth Group that was meeting tonight about a Youth Writer’s Project that Library wants to start.  Matt Uhl was really excited because he said some kids have already started getting together on the 3^rd Thursdays to write. He also said that his mother is Colleen Uhl who works at Centerville Elementary.  I remember her from when she did a cooperative learning workshop at our school. I thought she was way cool. He said he also knew who Mrs. Day was and said she’s a bitch and the reason she transferred to Orchard was she was going to get fired at Centerville. Ha!

            Well I’m tired. I put in 3 hours at the Center and 2 hours at home typing.

ADDITIONAL MATERIAL

• ·         Summit County Sheriff's deputies arrested two men Monday night in connection with the shooting death of Douglas C. Koehler, the county's first homicide in three years. Deputies arrested the pair at their Park City condominium, said Summit County Sheriff Fred Eley. Mr. Koehler, 31, had been visiting bars in the Park City area with friends Friday night and decided to go on alone after others wanted to quit, his friends said. The decision cost him his life. A newspaper carrier on morning rounds found Mr. Koehler's body in the parking lot of the Cedar Lane condominiums in Park West early Saturday. A single gunshot to the head caused instantaneous death, authorities said.  Summit County Attorney Bob Adkins said charges could be filed against the two suspects today. The men, ages 26 and 21, remained in the Summit County Jail. Mr. Koehler was a 6-foot-4 ``gentle giant'' who frequently rode his horse, Fred, in the Utah mountains, his friends said. He was articulate and talented and had many friends, his Salt Lake business partner said Monday. James Cornwall, co-owner of the Frame-It Shop, 3149 S. State, said he was still trying to understand why someone shot Mr. Koehler, execution-style. Monday, Summit County Det. Joe Offret said investigators were interviewing persons who had last seen Mr. Koehler to piece together where he had been. Officers are still puzzled over a motive.  Said Salt Lake tavern owner and friend John Paul Brophy: ``He was a hell of an artist and someone who wouldn't harm a fly. This is such a shock.'' (08/25/93  Page: D3 SLTribune) 
• ·         Police waiting as teens get off bus from Oregon, where victim's car was in wreck. A LUCKY BREAK YIELDS SUSPECTS IN S.L.SLAYING By Brian West, Staff Writer Thanks to a lucky break, Salt Lake police believe they've solved another homicide. Two suspects were arrested Monday night in connection with the shooting death of Chet O. Harris,30, whose body was found Sunday in an alley behind 320 S. Jeremy St. (840 West). He had been shot multiple times, including shots to his head and neck. Salt Lake police had barely identified the man Monday when officers in Ogden called to give them the names of two suspects, said Lt. Marty Vuyk. Investigators waited until the medical examiner finished an autopsy of the body Monday before they tried to identify the man through fingerprints. Meanwhile, police in LaGrande, Ore., investigated a traffic accident involving a car belonging to Harris. The car sustained so much damage in the accident it was not drivable, Vuyk said. Officers apparently asked the occupants why they were driving a car registered to Harris. They also checked to see if the vehicle was stolen and even called Ogden police because Harris lived there. The car had not been reported stolen, but Ogden officers knew Harris and remembered that Salt Lake police had investigated a homicide over the weekend of a man matching Harris' description. Ogden police notified detectives in Salt Lake City about the Oregon accident involving Harris' car."That was only 15 minutes after (Salt Lake detectives) identified Mr. Harris," Vuyk said. "We were totally lost. We didn't have anything to go on until we had him identified."Investigators immediately called Oregon police, who told them they'd just helped the suspects get on a bus to return to Salt Lake City. Officers went to the downtown bus depot and "waited with open arms as the suspects got off the bus," Vuyk said."It was the cheapest extradition ever," he quipped. Two Salt Lake detectives traveled to Oregon to process the car and gather other evidence. A small-caliber handgun was located inside the vehicle, and investigators planned to conduct tests to see if it is the murder weapon. Taun In Ly, 18, of 1787 W. Shannon Circle, was booked into the Salt Lake County Jail for investigation of aggravated murder and aggravated robbery. A 16-year-old boy was also booked into juvenile detention._© 1998 Deseret News Publishing Co.

26 August 1993 Thursday

I woke up with a severe charley horse in my right leg about 3:30 in the morning. It hurt so bad and when I finally was able to drop back off to sleep, John Reeves from Boston called me at 5 all distraught. He was crying and said his lover Donald had died this morning from pneumonia. Poor sweet John. We just talked briefly as I had to go into worked today. He just wanted to share his loss with someone who cared because his family certainly would not have cared or understood. I tried to go back to sleep a little more and slept until 6 this morning. Then I started to stir. I caught the 6:55 9^th East bus to downtown and then the Weber bus instead of the Centerville Bus. It saves me from having to get up at 5:30.

            I thought about John all day while I really worked hard on getting my room put together for next week’s start. I didn’t venture out of my classroom the whole time to talk to anyone. I am still pissed at Mrs. Day but I’ll get over it. I left work at 3:45 and was back home a little after 4:30 this afternoon because I stopped at Office Max on 4^th South and 9^th East to buy some correcting ribbon for the typewriter at the Library.

            When I was home I called John but again but we only spoke briefly because I had to be down at the Stonewall Library. John said Donald had died of full blown AIDS. I really thought as much. The plague. I told him that I am off tomorrow and we will have a good long visit.

            At the Center, Eric Robinson and Brad where there and it’s fun being there on Thursdays because of them. I didn’t get a whole lot done but did find someone to help with the Gay Youth Writing Project. His name is Chris Pfeiffer, I believe. Val Mansfield and I hung out and visited for a while. He is disgusted that only 2 people showed up for his OutReach Committee and is ready to bag it. Kathy Worthington and her group of Lesbians were slapping the Womyn’s Community Newsletter together down at the Center.

            In the news Michael Jackson is being accused of molesting young teenagers at his Never Land Estate.

ADDITIONAL MATERIAL

• ·         Murder Charges: Two men were charged Wednesday in the murder of Douglas C. Koehler. Dave Nelson Thacker, 26, of Nevada, was charged with murder, a first-degree felony. Clint Marcus Crane, 21, of Idaho, was charged with obstructing justice, a second-degree felony, said Summit County authorities. Police allege Mr. Thacker shot the victim in the head with a small-caliber handgun at ParkWest Friday night or Saturday morning. The suspects took care of a ranch in Summit County and lived in a condominium provided by the ranch owner, said Det. Joe Offret.. (08/26/93 Page: D3 SLTribune)

 

27 August 1993-Friday

I took the bus down to PACE on 9^th West and 35^th South to buy some video tapes for the Stonewall Library. It was a pain taking the bus. Anyway I was at the Center by 2:30 in the afternoon and stayed 2 hours. While I was there David Nelson and Michael Aaron held a press conference regarding all the Gay bashing that is going on right now.

            A kid named Doug Koehler was killed in Park West and a black Gay guy was killed over here on the West side of Salt Lake. They were both Gay related murders and then there’s a gang of straight men who are kidnapping Gay men, handcuffing them, and raping them. I don’t know how straight these individuals could be then.

            I rode over to Jon Merrill’s salon on 3^rd South and had Jon cut my hair, at 4:30 this afternoon. I then made an appointment for another hair cut for the 30^th of September. I was back at the Center to work a Friday shift from 5:30 until 8:30 but after my shift continued to hang around until 10 at night when we closed. The evening volunteer never showed up so I ended up volunteering for the Center, out front, rather than doing library work.

            I met Beau Chaine’s latest lover. He is kind of slow but good looking 31 year old man. I think he’s really vulnerable. He confided in me that he had gotten a blow job and was afraid that it would destroy his relationship with Beau. I said then don’t tell Beau and don’t do it again if you are feeling guilty. I met this kid named Scott who was very into New Age stuff. We talked for a long time with Mark Haslam.

            Afterwards I rode over to the Deerhunter to hang out for a little while. There I saw Craig Hunter and his friend Rod. Eric Robinson, Glen, Brad Clark  and I left to meet this 19 year old who wanted to have sex at some park. Being an old fogey, I just went on home.

            I am thinking of getting a roommate, perhaps Glenn. He said that he and Jerry Campbell used to be roommates before Jerry was murdered.

ADDITIONAL MATERIAL

• ·         A federal judge said Thursday he will strike down a Utah law banning marriages with AIDS-infected partners. ``This statute is clearly in violation of the Americans with Disabilities Act,'' said U.S. District Judge Aldon Anderson. ``It is probably unconstitutional, too.''  Two women with AIDS and their children sued last month for repeal of the 1987 law, which automatically invalidates marriage with a person who has the disease. Earlier this month, Gov. Mike Leavitt agreed the law was unconstitutional, but he wanted to settle the suit out of court. He offered to make sure the law was not enforced until January's legislative session when lawmakers could repeal it. Plaintiffs rejected his proposal. They wanted the law overturned immediately to protect their families from unscrupulous insurance companies who might refuse to pay insurance and retirement Benefits. Last week, the state sided with the women. Utah Solicitor General Carol Clawson filed a motion asking Mr. Anderson to rule against the state's own law, the only one of its kind. Other states have passed laws requiring couples who want to marry to get tested for HIV, the virus that causes AIDS. But most similar laws have been revoked by state supreme courts. ``It's never been a case of the state dragging its feet on this,'' said Palmer DePaulis, spokesman for the state Attorney General's Office. ``We just wanted to avoid going to court. It's been [Atty. Gen.] Jan Graham's priority to limit outside counsel and public expenditures -- but not at the expense of these women.''  Neither of the women plaintiffs appeared in court Thursday. Peggy Tingey had to take her son to the hospital. He has HIV and was running a 105-degree fever. Ms. Tingey was diagnosed with AIDS after her marriage in 1989. She feared her child would be considered illegitimate under the law. The other plaintiff, Cindy Kidd, was with her family at Camp Heartland, Milwaukee, a summer camp for children with AIDS/HIV. They went with nine other families from the Wasatch Front. Nearly 100 youngsters from across the nation are attending the camp this week at no cost to their families. Ms. Kidd, who contracted AIDS 10 years ago from a former boyfriend, feared her children would lose health care, insurance and Social Security Benefits when she dies. She has two children, whom her husband adopted, but the adoption could be challenged if their marriage is called invalid. The judge said Thursday that he intends to classify the suit as a class action so the plaintiffs may represent the nearly 6,500 Utahns believed to have HIV. The judge also set a hearing for Oct. 28 to settle the issue of outstanding attorney's fees. The plaintiff's attorney, Brian Barnard, says he will charge the state between $6,000 and $10,000 for his legal work.  The plaintiffs are not asking for monetary damages. (08/27/93 Page: D1 SLTribune
  

28-August 1993-Saturday-

I went grocery shopping this morning after talking to John Reeves. He’s doing better but Donald’s death is very hard for him. I was down at the Center at 1 this afternoon to meet Russ Kracke. He wasn't there as he had misunderstood when I was supposed to meet with him. He thought it was for Sunday and not today but I said Sunday would be fine.

            Alex Gallegos came in at 2:30 right when I was training Jim Hunsaker.  Alex wanted to know how to get out to Bare Ass Beach so I went with him in his truck to show here how to get there. That’s what I did from 2:30 until 4 this afternoon. There were a lot of pretty boys sunbathing nude out there.  I was really tired and kind of cranky, I guess from Alex being so timid about meeting the Gay guys out there. If I would have been with John Reeves or Mike Pipkin, I’d have been out there having sex by the bushel. Anyway, Alex took me back to the Center where Bob McIntier brought in a bunch of Pepper Mace he had bought to sell to people who feel threatened and to raise money for the Center. Bob does more at the Center than any other Board of Trustee member.

            Walter Curry watched the library for me while I went to Mervyns at the Crossroads Mall. I had to get some clothes for back to school next week. I bought 4 shirts and a belt for under $80. I saw Mrs. Thomas, a second grade teacher from Orchard, at Mervyns while I was visiting with Chad Keller who works there. He is such a queen! Oh well. It’s a small world.

            I rode back to the Center where I finished working in the library until 7 this evening. Then I joined the Video Night group and watched Michael York and Angela Lansbury in “Something for Everyone”. It was the first movie in which I ever saw a man kiss another man. That was in 1969. The movie was fun and there was about 7 of us watching it.

            Afterwards at 9 at night, I went to the Deerhunter with Eric Robinson. There was nothing spectacular going on there but I did see Jon Merrill with whom I mostly visited until going home at 10:30.

ADDITIONAL MATERIAL

• ·         JUDGE TO RESCIND UTAH LAW BANNING AIDS MARRIAGES Byline: By Michael Phillips THE SALT LAKE TRIBUNE  A federal judge said Thursday he will strike down a Utah law banning marriages with AIDS-infected partners.    ``This statute is clearly in violation of the Americans with Disabilities Act,'' said U.S. District Judge Aldon Anderson. ``It is probably unconstitutional, too.'' Two women with AIDS and their children sued last month for repeal of the 1987 law, which automatically invalidates marriage with a person who has the disease.  Earlier this month, Gov. Mike Leavitt agreed the law was unconstitutional, but he wanted to settle the suit out of court. He offered to make sure the law was not enforced until January's legislative session when lawmakers could repeal it.  Plaintiffs rejected his proposal. They wanted the law overturned immediately to protect their families from unscrupulous insurance companies who might refuse to pay insurance and retirement Benefits. Last week, the state sided with the women. Utah Solicitor General Carol Clawson filed a motion asking Mr. Anderson to rule against the state's own law, the only one of its kind. Other states have passed laws requiring couples who want to marry to get tested for HIV, the virus that causes AIDS. But most similar laws have been revoked by state supreme courts.  ``It's never been a case of the state dragging its feet on this,'' said Palmer DePaulis, spokesman for the state Attorney General's Office. ``We just wanted to avoid going to court. It's been [Atty. Gen.] Jan Graham's priority to limit outside counsel and public expenditures -- but not at the expense of these women.'' Neither of the women plaintiffs appeared in court Thursday.  Peggy Tingey had to take her son to the hospital. He has HIV and was running a 105-degree fever. Ms. Tingey was diagnosed with AIDS after her marriage in 1989. She feared her child would be considered illegitimate under the law. The other plaintiff, Cindy Kidd, was with her family at Camp Heartland, Milwaukee, a summer camp for children with AIDS/HIV. They went with nine other families from the Wasatch Front. Nearly 100 youngsters from across the nation are attending the camp this week at no cost to their families.     Ms. Kidd, who contracted AIDS 10 years ago from a former boyfriend, feared her children would lose health care, insurance and Social Security Benefits when she dies. She has two children, whom her husband adopted, but the adoption could be challenged if their marriage is called invalid.  The judge said Thursday that he intends to classify the suit as a class action so the plaintiffs may represent the nearly 6,500 Utahns believed to have HIV. The judge also set a hearing for Oct. 28 to settle the issue of outstanding attorney's fees. The plaintiff's attorney, Brian Barnard, says he will charge the state between $6,000 and $10,000 for his legal work.  The plaintiffs are not asking for monetary damages.  

• PRESERVE BEECH'S LEGACY FOR KIDS On July 9, Utah lost a valiant friend, Joy Beech. Many will remember Joy as a tireless leader and defender of family values .She spearheaded the fight to clean up cable TV and rallied many groups under one umbrella to lobby the Utah Legislature on moral and political issues that impact the family. One of her greatest contributions was leading the successful effort to give Utah's schoolchildren factual, medically correct and moral AIDS curriculum. We were vindicated and proud when former U.S. Surgeon General Everett Koop visited Utah and said, "Utah has the finest AIDS curriculum in the country" because it was devoid of the filthy and specious language of the first draft and because it taught abstinence as the first line of defense against AIDS. Because of Joy Beech's noble and loving leadership, Utah's children have a legacy of purity, service and morality in her great example. I hope we will all strive to preserve this precious gift. Sharon Ernst Provo 
• ·         The publishers of the  Salt Lake Under Ground (SLUG) Magazine sponsored a marathon 2 day concert for the Utah AIDS Foundation to raise funds and consciousness of the “Hard-core, punk  an I-don't-give-damn” young people of Utah. The sixth Sabbathon, an alternative-music festival and AIDS fund-raiser was held at Salt Lake City's Bar & Grill, 60 E. 800 South. Last year the event poured $2,000 into the foundation's coffers. But according to the foundation's Robert Austin, what's most important is the festival's drive to increase a concern about AIDS and the HIV virus. ``We're reaching a lot of young adults and kids,'' Austin said. ``It shows the different ways the AIDS Foundation can reach out.''  The event began six years ago at an all-ages music and poetry venue known as The Word. In 1990, Sabbathon moved to the Speedway Cafe. The next year, it played at The Pompadour; the money was given to the San Francisco Anti-Defamation League. It has been an AIDS Benefit all other years.  The Bar & Grill was chosen as the venue in 1992 because owner Kris Johnson was willing to give all proceed to the Utah AIDS  Foundation. The event was not an instant success. The Utah AIDS Foundation was reluctant to link its name to the fund-raiser. ``It took a few years to get a good relationship [with the foundation],'' said J.R. Ruppel of Slug. ``Part of it was surprise,'' Austin said. ``You don't expect `underground punks' to be civic-minded. It reminded me and others here that there are others concerned. They're aware of AIDS.'' Austin said AIDS is the No. 1 killer of men ages 25 to 44 in Salt Lake City. 
• (08/27/93  Page: F1 SLTribune) Police don't see an upward trend, but fear prompts some victims to keep quiet.  INCIDENTS OF HATE CRIME CAST A SHADOW OVER S.L. By Brent Israelsen, Staff Writer  With Summit County investigators trying to determine whether a murder last weekend was motivated by the killer's hatred for gays, hate crime is back in the news. But hate crime is not new, especially in Utah's capital.  A few weeks ago, a white teenage girl confronted a pair of younger black boys in Salt Lake City, called them racially derogatory names, told them she was with the Ku Klux Klan and bit one of them on the arm.  "She just decided she didn't like these two black kids," said police Sgt. Don Bell. "That was kind of disturbing."  Fortunately, the incident - like most reports of crimes motivated by racial, ethnic or sexual bigotry - appears to be isolated, said Bell, who has been tracking reports of "hate crimes" since the beginning of 1992. Bell, who works for the Police Department's intelligence unit, said 21 incidents were reported last year and nine so far this year. (Please see box.) The statistics are reported quarterly to the state Department of Public Safety, which passes them on to the U.S. Justice Department. The local cases illustrate that hatred is alive and well in Salt Lake City: - Monday, a black man reported he was assaulted by a group of skinheads with baseball bats in Red Butte Gardens. - In early August, police recovered a half dozen racially charged fliers that had been left randomly on vehicles. The fliers said, "People have a right NOT to associate with Negroes." It was signed "NSVF-VV," which stands for "National Socialist Viking Front - Viking Viewpoint," a neo-Nazi group based in Chicago. - On Aug. 11, a white man was arrested after throwing coffee at a black clerk in a convenience store near 200 W. North Temple. The altercation began when the customer verbally abused the clerk with a series of racial epithets. - On Aug. 5, a black woman received an anonymous message on her answering machine telling her she's living in the wrong neighborhood.  - On July 21 and 23, a group of dark-complexioned residents living together near 200 S. 1000 East found swastikas and the word "fags" spray-painted on their doors, exterior walls and cars. Bell said a known skinhead contingent lives in the area, and members are considered suspects in that crime. - Also in July, a company that manages four residential properties in the city received a letter from the White Power Movement, which criticized the company for renting to non-whites. Bell quoted the letter as saying the group hates "niggers, Jews (especially Jewish attorneys and doctors), Japs, Wops, Poles and Mexicans." - One of the most worrisome hate-crime incidents this year occurred in January, when A Woman's Place Bookstore in Foothill Village received an anonymous letter from someone objecting to the store's sponsoring feminist Gloria Steinem. The letter said, "If you let that bitch G.S. come and speak, I will hurt her and your store. I hate Jews."Steinem's managers took the threat seriously and almost canceled her trip to Utah. Police assured her safety, however, and gave her "dignitary" security treatment while she was in town, Bell said. A week after Steinem's visit, which went off without incident, the store received another inflammatory letter from the same person.  Taken as a whole, the incidents don't seem to indicate an upward trend or an epidemic. But Bell admitted that the numbers may not tell the entire story because many hate crimes aren't reported by victims.  Some victims fear calling the police will jeopardize them further. "People are afraid to come forward, and that's really sad," said officer Shane Jones, the department's liaison with the gay community.  Other victims don't trust the police to do anything, while some don't consider the incidents worthy of police attention. Bell said he hopes the public will get over those fears and misperceptions.  "We depend for so much of our intelligence gathering on what people tell us. We need information to keep track of (antisocial) groups." Another factor skewing the numbers, however, may be the police officers themselves. Bell depends on the officers to classify crimes and suspicious incidents as hate crimes. If an officer doesn't indicate on his report that the crime may have hate-crime overtones, then Bell will never see it. A recent example of that problem occurred in the early morning hours of Aug. 14, when a group of Gay men meeting at Memory Grove near Eight Avenue and A Street  were startled by the sounds of two shotgun blasts fired by a man who emerged from the shadows. The shots hit a car. Although a police field commander felt the crime may have been motivated by the gunman's hatred for homosexuals, Bell said there's no direct evidence to prove that theory. Consequently, the shooting has not been classified a hate crime. So for Bell, the shooting was just as much a vehicle vandalism as it was a hate crime. 
  

29 August 1993 Sunday

Today is the last gloriest Sunday in August. Well the shadows of summer are lengthening as the days are growing shorter. I went to the Stonewall Center at 1 this afternoon and stayed until 6 this evening but since I spent an hour typing up a monthly report for the library at home, I can say I put in a six hour day. I am getting weary.

            Russell Kracke came down to work in the Archives. God bless him. He’s taking over archives and taking the ball and running with it. I believe he’s majoring at the University of Utah in some sort of archival degree. He relieved me so I could spend my time shelving books mostly. Only one kid came in today to check out books. I’ve got the schedule for September volunteers finished. Yay!

            I heard a rumor that Willy Marshall is considering shutting down Wasatch Affirmation since so few attend anymore. Perhaps its glory days are over from when it was a mover and a shaker, as that Reconciliation seems to fill the need for Gay LDS devotees.

            I wrote a letter to Jeff Workman today. I guess news of Donald’s death reminded me how precious life is.  A Candle Light Vigil was planned at the Center by the Anti-Violence Project for Doug Koehler, the boy murdered at Park West.

ADDITIONAL MATERIAL

• ·         A11.FOR UTAHNS OF ALL COLORS, KING'S VISION LIVES ON Byline: By Nancy Hobbs THE SALT LAKE TRIBUNE     As the sun rose over the Wasatch Mountains on Saturday, some 300 Utahns of all ages and colors gathered at Salt Lake City's Liberty Park to pray for justice and equality. They were commemorating the 30^th anniversary of the March on Washington, where civil-rights leader Martin Luther King Jr. delivered his ``I have a dream'' speech.   Saturday's marchers followed a nine-block route of their own, which included a stop to unveil Salt Lake City's ``Martin Luther King Jr. Boulevard'' along 600 South For Stephen Holbrook, then a 21-year-old assistant for former Utah Congressman Sherman P. Lloyd, the march was ``the beginning of a lifetime experience.''    Holbrook had been assigned by the congressman to assist the Utah delegation during their visit. As a native of Bountiful, Holbrook   remembers it as the first time he met any African-Americans from Utah.   The 1963 demonstration and the day's speeches energized him and made him interested enough in the movement to go to Mississippi with Lloyd to see protesters demonstrate after the murder of Medgar Evers. He decided he should be in the crowd rather than watching.  ``That was the turning point. It led to an intensive involvement in the civil-rights movement in Utah and Mississippi,’’ Holbrook said.  **EXTRA** He got involved in the voting rights project in the summer of 1964, and spent several days in a Mississippi jail after driving a black woman to register to vote.   His experiences during the mid-'60s led to anti-war demonstrations and political office in Utah's Legislature. Now he is executive director of the Coalition for Utah's Future/Project 2000,a job in which he still uses the non-violence and consensus-building skills he learned from King. Now the executive director of the Coalition for Utah's Future/Project 2000,  Holbrook said he often uses techniques he learned during the civil-rights movement. King, he said, ``was a spiritual leader for the way I've led my life.''

• ·         29 August 1993 GAY COMMUNITY The gay and lesbian community faces a particular challenge: Not everyone who supports the cause is ``out.''  ``I don't know if we could get people out even if we were violent,'' says Mr. Aaron, chairman of the Gay and Lesbian Utah Democrats. Aside from Gay Pride Day, which attracted gathered more than 2,000 people this year, most events are small scale. Queer Nation, for example, has in recent years protested at Temple Square conference, an Andrew Dice Clay concert and staged ``kiss-ins'' at Snelgroves. Aug 29 93 A 11

30 August 1993 Monday-

Well the kids are back and I have 32 little darlings crammed into my windowless room. Ugh. I had one no show but then two “move ins” at the last moment. Some ignorant parents wait to the very day school begins to register their kids. Well let’s see how this year will shape up with this crop. It’s a bad sign to know so many of the kids names in the first hour!

I have 18 boys and 14 girls so I have to make sure the boys don’t ride rough shod over the girls. On the most part I think they are good kids but it only takes a few to suck all the energy out of you. I’m tired already and it’s only the first day! Ha! Well it’s a three day weekend coming up so that will help.

After school, I came home and fixed cheese enchiladas for my supper. I had a message on the machine from Randy Nyland saying that he wouldn’t be in tonight to volunteer in the library. So I went to the store and bought a bus pass for the month and then rode my bike on down to the center. I also mailed off my letter to Jeff Workman while I was out and about

            Melissa Sillitoe took the Center’s good typewriter home to work on grants, so  labeling books was impossible tonight. I spent my time instead reshelving books and calling people about overdue books.

            Michael Quinn, the BYU historian, was in the library doing some research in our Archives about Gay Mormons for a book he’s writing. I looked up some Affirmation Newsletters for him and let him remain in the library after I left at 8:30 this evening. He also bought a library card to support the library!

            There’s a candle light vigil for Doug Koehler, the boy who was murdered at Park West for this Wednesday. I guess the Anti-Violence Project is organizing it. They’ve caught the men who killed him. A friend of this boy told Garth Chamberlain by inference that cocaine had something to do with the murder. He was shot in the head while walking home. The black man named Chet Harris, who was killed near Rose Park, was the son of a preacher from Ogden.

            I’m getting worn out. I must be dedicated to this community. Here it is the first day back to school and I’m working at the Center and riding my bike back and forth,

ADDITIONAL MATERIAL

• ·         Michael Paul Larsen age 27 died after a brave battle with AIDS. He is survived by his partner, Brian L. Keener; A candlelight vigil will be held Wednesday night in Memory Grove in his honor.

 

31 August 1993 Tuesday

It was a full Blue Moon tonight and the new moon that will come in two weeks will be the Harvest Moon. Anyway I can already tell that I have a rough class, I hope I can get them in shape without stressing me out too much. If ever I needed a car so I can sleep in, it will be this year.

I can’t believe how badly behaved my class is this year which shows up in how low their skills are. I’m depressed even thinking about it. Well what shall it be? Ease up on them or whip them into shape. Should I let them do as they please or set strict boundaries? Strict boundaries! and then I can always ease up if they deserve it. If you are relaxed from the beginning and then try to be strict,  the kids will rebel and hate you.

            I got a ride from Scott Spinks this morning and it was good to see him again but he confirmed that he’s HIV positive and has been for at least two years. We only made love twice as I recall and that was a good three years ago. I was also able to get a ride back into Salt Lake from Mrs. Donita Abel the 1^st Grade teacher so that was nice.

            I ate supper and then rode down to the Stonewall Library. Harold Jones didn’t show up which surprised me as he’s usually so dependable.

The September Issue of the Pillar  came out and it’s so mean spirited. It attacked Kathy Worthington and the Stonewall Center. It implied more or less that the library should be named after Bobbie Smith but they can do that after I’m dead.

            Anyhow, Russell Kracke came down about 7:30 this evening to work in the Archive files and I left at 8:15 because I was just really tired from a long day. While riding my bike home I could tell I have a slow leak in my tire again. I probably picked up a goat head thorn that has punctured the tire.

            Well here it is, the end of August and for all intent and purpose, the end of summer.

SEPTEMBER

 1 September 1993 Wednesday

This is like the longest week of my life! It just goes on and on. The kids are not responding to me and are just not listening at all to my lessons. They won’t follow directions and I suppose having a large class size and me having a cold doesn’t improve the situation any.

            I came home feeling really exhausted but knew I had to go down to the Stonewall Center to train Liza Smart in the library. My bike tire was almost flat even with the Fix A Flat foam I put in it. I also got a phone call from my friend Bill Blevin saying he had a stroke and wouldn’t be able to volunteer any more. He was looking so healthy last Tuesday. One never knows!

            Anyway I pedaled down to the Center on a tire that was going flat and trained Liza and we visited some as I hadn’t seen her in  a long time. Kelly Dinsmore was down at the Center too and said she would give me a ride home but when we were ready to leave we discovered her truck tire had a flat too! It took about a half hour to figure out how-to change the tire on her truck since she had never done it before. I was exhausted by the time I got home and went to bed at 8:30 this evening after typing up the Back to School Material I needed go over with the parents tomorrow.   

2 September 1993 Thursday

It was a very long day. I was at school by 7:30 this morning and I didn’t get home until nearly 9 at night. It was Back to School Night and I gave my kid’s parents a talking to about how poor their kid’s skills were and what was required to bring them up and stop the disruptive behavior in class was one of the ways.

            Mr. Ballard , Nicholas and Lisa’s dad gave me a ride into Salt Lake City but I had to walk home from State Street and 4^th South because the buses were on a weird night schedule where they on came once an hour.

            I am really worried about this year and how it will go, but perhaps I should just not worry about it.

ADDITIONAL MATERIAL

• ·         220 CALL FOR AN END TO HATE CRIMES IN UTAH By Nicole A. Bonham, Staff Writer Less than two weeks after a South Salt Lake man was killed in Park City - possibly because his attackers believed he was homosexual - more than 220 people gathered downtown Wednesday to protest acts of violence against Utah's gay and lesbian community. Douglas C. Koehler, 31, was shot to death Aug. 21 as he stood with his hands in his pockets. While investigators have not verified his death as a hate crime, they don't dispute the allegation. On Wednesday, leaders of Utah's Gay and Lesbian Anti-Violence Project called Koehler's death one of many incidents of hate shown toward homosexuals. They criticized officials for releasing the suspects on bail five days after Koehler was shot. Dave Thacker, 26, who is charged with murder, and Clint Marcus Crane, 21, charged with obstructing justice, left a Park City bar with Koehler on the night of Aug. 20, according to charges filed against the men. The trio went to the suspects' condominium in Park City, then Koehler left hours later and walked toward his own ParkWest condo. The two men found him in a parking lot and motioned him over. The charges say Thacker then pulled a gun and shot Koehler in the head. On Wednesday, rally participants produced a long list of local hate crimes that included recent gang rapes of gay men."I want us to focus our rage on the . . . apathy within our community - those people who attack us, who murder us, who rape us," said Jared Brown, co-director of the Anti-Violence Project. "This is a month of hate in Utah - August 1993 - and we're not going to take it anymore," agreed project founder Michael Aaron. "We're taught that different is not good, contrary to the Arby’s commercial. They paint us as sexual predators, as perverts, as something less than human . . . and therefore it's OK to hurt us, to bash us, to rape us."Those who gathered at the John W. Gallivant Plaza 200 South and Main Street, mixed their comments with words urging empowerment and tales of violence."It could easily have been me," said Dale Sorensen of Koehler's death. "The reason why . . . is it didn’t matter who it was, as long as they were queer. I'm not going to be a victim.""I've never known someone who was murdered, let alone someone who was murdered for a lifestyle," said a friend of Koehler who traveled to the rally from Park City. The group lit candles at nightfall and continued their protest of violence with chants of "stop the violence, stop the hate," also waving signs with messages like "Silence Equals Death" and "No More Hate."Luci Malin, coordinator of the Utah National Organization for Women action committee, said hate crime is on the increase in Utah and nationwide."Many of us live in Utah because it's a nice place to live," she said. "But, is it so nice?"Malin reported the following statistics from sources including the FBI and National Victims Center’s report "Crime and Victimization in America:"- A woman is eight times more likely to be raped in Salt Lake City than in New York City, based on per capita rate of incidents.- In 1991, Utah ranked third highest in rate of rape increase nationwide, following Washington, D.C., and Alaska.- Half of all perpetrators of attacks against homosexuals are 21 years or younger.- A 22 percent increase in hate crimes was reported in Los Angeles from 1990 to 1992.- New York City has reported a 41 percent increase in hate crimes. 

3 September 1993 Friday

I think today is Jimmy Hamamoto’s birthday but not positive. I was too busy and exhausted to take a moment out to call him. I should have I know. I am so glad this week from hell is over. I’m worried how this year will go, for sure.

            I went home after work to get a bite to eat before going off to the Stonewall Center. I asked Mark Haslam, who I'm training, to pick me up since my bike has a flat tire again. Well he was late, I was tired, and my back was hurting really bad so I was kind of snappy with him. Mark is an okay fellow, just kind of in a world of his own. He is very smart but kind of spacey. The evening volunteer never showed up so this woman named Dina stayed to lock up so I could leave with Mark. 

4 September 1993 Saturday

I went to the Stonewall Center from 1 until 9 at night. Death in Venice was the movie shown for Video Night. Kathy Worthington and her lover Sarah Hamlin decorated the main center space for the monthly dance. After 9 I went with James Bangerter who is Jeremy’s boyfriend and some other friends to the Radio City. 

5 September 1993 Sunday

I was at the Stonewall Center from 1 in the afternoon until 9 at night again. At 7 in the evening, we had the first meeting of the Utah Stonewall Historical Society with about 10 people attending, including Dan Fahndrich, Scott Anderson, Glen Camomile, Dean Handaker, Matt Uhl, Scott Wolfer, Melissa Sillitoe and a few others. I talked about the beginning of Beyond Stonewall and Dan did a fantastic slide show presentation. Seeing all the slides kind of made me want to do it all again but who has the energy?

ADDITIONAL MATERIAL

• EAGLE FORUM FORCES ISSUE OF MORALITY INTO POLITICS Associated Press  Several legislators complained earlier this year that members of the Eagle Forum seated in the gallery had brought binoculars in order to peer at notes on Democratic lawmakers' desks. The binoculars were put away, but the Eagle Forum, both here and nationwide, maintains its meticulous monitoring of "moral" political issues. The conservative watchdog group works for what it calls "pro-family" legislation, opposing feminism and abortion rights, and urges parents to monitor their children's exposure to topics like sex and evolution. Although politicians and educators concede the Eagle Forum's visibility and success, some question its tactics. And they worry that its zealous approach gives it undue influence. "It's a formidable group, but it's a very right-wing and narrow-minded group. And I think they have been dogged and successful in intimidating legislators and convincing people that their influence is larger than their number," said Rep. Dave Jones of Salt Lake, the state Democratic chairman.  "The problem is that they take very complicated issues and tend to boil them down to simple statements. People ingest that without really stopping to think what it really means. It frightens otherwise sensible and reasonable people," Jones said. But if the Eagle Forum has made an art form out of special-interest lobbying, it has done so with hard work and missionary zeal. And even its critics concede the group's adherents are merely exercising their democratic rights. "I respect the energy they put into what they do," said Steven Mecham, former assistant state superintendent of public instruction. "Others are basically contented with the status quo and the Eagle Forum is moving ahead and impacting government office and education and members of various boards." Phyllis Schlafly founded the group in 1972 as the Stop ERA project, billing it as "An Alternative to Women's Lib." After the 1980 election, it became the "pro-family" Eagle Forum. The group claims 80,000 male and female members nationwide, but most of those who lobby locally are women. In Utah, the group claims a membership in the hundreds but a mailing list of 15,000. Over the years, the group has focused on issues ranging from equal rights and National Endowment for the Arts funding to national defense. But a central target remains women's rights activists. "Feminists probably have done more to harm the family than any other group in the nation," says Gayle Ruzicka, president of the Utah Eagle Forum. The forum's national brochure rips feminists for "their attacks on the family and homemakers, their use of "Anita Hill'-style tactics against men," and "their campaign for the misnamed Equal Rights Amendment with its hidden agenda." The Eagle Forum's effectiveness has been enhanced by its willingness to form partnerships with like-minded groups. It joined Pat Robertson's Christian Coalition in Iowa last fall to work to defeat an equal rights amendment there, and has worked for years with Concerned Women for America. Other Eagle Forum affiliates include National Right To Life, the Christian Action Council and Families Alert. Schlafly said from her home in Alton, Ill., that the group's main project in recent years has been advocating parents' rights to monitor curricula in public schools and to choose private or home schooling. Schlafly urges parents to stop school districts from teaching about evolution, sexuality, divorce, feminism, multiculturalism, pacifism, globalism, disarmament, death and suicide, as well as drug abuse, self-awareness and alternative family arrangements. "A lot of these courses are a device to get children to question their parents," Schlafly said. The Utah chapter, which Schlafly calls "one of the best in the country," scored a victory in June when the state school board rejected a textbook commission's recommendation that guidelines be changed to show homosexuality as an "acceptable" lifestyle. "We do not believe they should teach about homosexuality unless they teach that it's wrong," Ruzicka said. Utah school officials said Eagle Forum members were present at all public hearings and state school board meetings and talked to board members regularly outside those meetings. "This is the first time I can recall that we've had an identifiable group with two or three members there all the time," said State School Superintendent Scott Bean. Mecham, Bean's assistant until July 1, said there is a growing national concern about conservative lobbying groups' ability to place its members on school boards. "The balance of representation on school boards needs to be addressed now, because it will have an effect on our curriculums and directions on how we're to deal with our students," he said. 

6 September 1993 Monday Labor Day

My back is killing me today for some reason but I rode my bike over to the Stonewall Center to open it at 11 this morning for Russell Kracke. I stayed until 1:30 in the afternoon working on a syllabus for a history class I want to teach at the Center. Bob McIntier dropped by to look at the computer that was donated to the Center to see if it was usable.

            As my back was killing me I rode home, then Jeff Workman showed up on my door step at 5:30 this afternoon so unexpectedly. I was taken back in surprise. I almost wanted to cry. I was so joyful in seeing him again like Lazarus back from the dead. It was so bitter sweet. He had grown a beard and it looked great on him.

            We hugged each other and visited for a while. I couldn’t keep my hand from touching his leg or hand just to be assured that he wasn’t a phantom. I saw that he was wearing a wedding ring. That hurt to see.

We talked about how school is going this year, how our summer went, but nothing about us or Cary Ferrin. When Jeff brought up the subject of Bobbie Smith and the Pillar, I just politely said I had nothing to say about them.

            We talked briefly about getting back into college to get our Masters. I don’t know if anything will come of that. Jeff left at 7 and his leaving made me feel alone again. He had said that he is happy so why shouldn’t I be? I really miss living with him as a family.

            Strange before he came over I had found an old cassette tape from an answering machine that had recorded telephone conversations from 1987. Hearing the voices of Mike Anderson, Dave Reed, Russ Lane, Ken Francis and Billy Bikowski made me so melancholy and sad and the Jeff shows up out of my past. Circles, circles, circles.            

7 September 1993 Tuesday

I had the hardest time getting around this morning. Every movement was a tremendous effort. It hurt every time I sat up or tried to stand up. I couldn’t even cross my legs without hurting. I just thought it would get better at work but it seemed to be getting worse. I ended up getting a substitute to come in for me tomorrow so I could go to the doctors. I couldn’t sit comfortably and rising from a chair was very painful. I was a mess.

            And on top of everything else my student Robert Hansen is acting up and ditching class and Marlow Mangum is a mess. I just got through the day the best I could. I certainly hope the year gets better.

            I just stayed home this evening and typed up some publicity for the historical society. I talked to both Bob Waldrop and Patty Reagan confirming their lectures for the historical society. Bob is speaking on Gay Liberation in the 1970’s while Patty will be talking about the AIDS epidemic in the 1980’s. She came up with a cute title for her presentation, “The First Time I Said Condom”.

            Anyway I mostly rested my back and watched Roseanne. I hadn’t watched TV in a long time.

8 September 1993 Wednesday

I went to the doctors this morning and it was an all morning excursion. Everything takes longer to get anywhere on the bus.  Even before going to the doctors I was feeling a bit better and although my back was sore I was ambulatory.

            Afterwards I went to the Stonewall Center at 1:30 in the afternoon to work on my syllabus. I was surprised to find no one there. Since I had a muscle relaxant drug, I decided to stay at the Center and staff the place until volunteers came in to do their shifts. I am glad I did because I had a suicide crisis call that just needed to have someone listen and I had someone drop by with a $30 donation for the Center. Then a reporter called. All these things and more would not have happened if I hadn’t had been there. One person can make a difference. I didn’t get a lick of work done I wanted to do but the needs of people should always come before projects.

            Chase Roundy, the 4 o’clock volunteer, relieved me so I could work in the library but we got to visiting about our first loves. Gay men! Chase is 23 and I am 42 but because we are Gay men we are bonded.

            Actually it was quite fun tonight. The Youth Group meet at the Center and hung out with Chase, Scott Wolfer, and me in the library. Lynn Gillman brought in some more office supplies to add to the large donation that Dean Handsaker had already brought.

            I stayed at the Center until 8:30 this evening after putting in a long day then finally rode back home to the Riviera.  

9 September 1993 Thursday

Another tough day at work. Will the days get any better? I pray they will.

            I rode my bike to the Stonewall Center as I was the main library volunteer. I also wanted to work on my syllabus and use the books we have in the library as references and additional reading material. I really did not get much done as that Scott Wolfer came in and we read together the first act of Angels In America. I love that play. Russell Kracke was filing away in the archives and Lynn Gillman came in to do some Library office work. I had brought a slew of office supplies so we have tons now, staples, paper clips, sticky notes, scotch tape etc.

            I’m getting stronger and my back is not such a killer.

            In the news the Middle East may be heading towards peace. Israel and the PLO are in talks and Israel is ready to let the Palestinians have the West Bank. The Millennium Approaches. Will I leave to see the 3^rd Millennium? Maybe reincarnated as a new born baby all bright eyed and full of wonder. I hope I am born to Mom again or maybe Mom will be born to me this time. A good woman is my mom. 

10 September 1993 Friday

Where else but in Salt Lake City can your ex-lover’s new lover become Secretary of the Gay and Lesbian Community Council of Utah? When I went to Council tonight I wasn’t prepared to learn that Cary Ferrin was being nominated for Secretary to take the place of David Ball who had resigned in July. Another reason to hate David Ball.

            I saw Jeff Workman at the meeting and was stupidly flattered thinking that he might have come to see me. Then in walked Cary and they go off to the other side of the room where they sit with Cary’s arm around Jeff. Then to my disbelief I see on the agenda that Cary is being voted on as Secretary! Gawd! How much is one person suppose to take?  Now not only will I have to see Jeff and Cary at all the GLCCU monthly meetings, I will have to look at Cary up with the other officers!

            I voted for Cary although it was not easy for me but I did it because the Council needed a secretary and no one else wanted the position. Besides I had no real reason not to vote for him except on a personal level. Gawd! I had to vote for the man who stole my lover from me to serve in a position I once held! The irony is so thick that if I wasn’t so sad, I’d laugh at fate.

            There was a fair turnout at the Council Meeting with nothing major discussed. Pride Day was reorganized with Kevin Hillman as chairman to provide some continuity with Todd Dayley aka “Todt Daily”  voted as his assistant. I did not vote for him because I was worried that he would hijack Pride Day too. Gail Scott announced at the end of the meeting that Kate Clinton, the Lesbian Comedian, is coming to Salt Lake on October 30^th. Gail’s Blue Wolf Production is promoting her coming. That is great. I’ve heard her material before on KRCL.

            There was no bitchy fighting at Council tonight. Too bad. I was really looking forward to a bitch fight between The Pillar and the Utah Stonewall Center. Brand Creer, with his stupid ass goatee, gave the report from the Pillar. I can’t stand looking at him. It’s like some wormy thing under a rock. Bobby Smith and Todd Dayley attended the Council but without David Ball.

            After the meeting was over, I went into the library where I trained Rachel Madsen in the check out procedures and I was putting volunteer applications in a file when Michelle Davies came in to visit and see what we had done with the place.  Bobbie Smith also came in but I ignored him completely. He’s not among the people I love anymore after his betrayal.

            Then I left and went to the Deerhunter and stayed there until 12:30 in the morning. I saw that Son of a Bitch bastard who had me arrested back in August 1991 sitting at the bar. I’d loved to have thrown a beer in his face but would have probably been arrested for assault and I never want to be held hostage by the legal system again.  Garth Chamberlain said his name is Jeremy and he was only do his job. And I said Bull Shit! A Gay man busting other Gay men? He’s scum. He’s a collaborator with the enemy. How many lives had he ruined doing his job sneaking around spying on people at night.

            I sat with Garth, Eric Robinson and Brad Clark mostly but did talk with Bob McIntier. He said that he asked the Pillar to come talk to him before writing such jerky articles about the Center. He told me that one of the reasons that Bobbie is so pissy is that he was left off the list of the Stonewall Center’s Foundation Circle Members. I told Bob that when I asked Melissa Sillitoe why, she said he hadn’t fulfilled his donation obligations. He was also mad that I was able to get the hours for when the library opened reduced when he couldn’t.  Brad said he often would see Bobbie come into Melissa’s office and take things off her desk.        

     ADDITIONAL MATERIAL

• ·         9/10/93 Page: A1 Keywords: Medical Treatment, AIDS, Government Agencies IS UTAHN'S DEVICE A CRUEL TRICK ORAIDS TREATMENT?UTAHN CLAIMS HIS MACHINE TREATSAIDS; OTHERS CALL IT A CRUEL TRICK Byline: By Anne Wilson THE SALT LAKETRIBUNE  Copyright 1993, The Salt Lake Tribune   A South Salt Lake businessman is promoting advice he claims will treat AIDS, and he is treating patients for free to prove the invention works.   Tim Themy-Kotronakis, president of T&T Medical Products USA, believes the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) has authorized him to conduct human trials under ``clinically controlled'' conditions.   But a spokeswoman for the FDA said Themy-Kotronakis does not have the federal agency’s permission to conduct clinical trials with his ``AIDS Treating Machine.''   Shelly Maiforth, a compliance officer with the FDA in Denver, said investigators began a ‘routine'' inspection of the business Wednesday morning. When they returned to the industrial-park office Thursday morning, Themy-Kotronakis locked them out, saying they had no authority to inspect his business.    Themy-Kotronakis claims his AIDS machine produces a solution that kills bacteria and viruses in AIDS patients, and boosts the number of blood cells that fight infection. To make the solution, two electrodes in the machine shoot electricity through ordinary saltwater. Within 90 seconds of the charging, the patient is supposed to drink the solution or receive it through injection or enema, he said.   He is not selling the device, but Themy-Kotronakis has advertised it vigorously and has solicited patients for experimental treatment.   While he does not promise a cure, Themy-Kotronakis says he already has treated, at no charge, more than four dozen people with AIDS. And he contends the treatments were successful.   But two experts on health fraud say Themy-Kotronakis' claims are nothing more than a new, and possibly dangerous, variation of unproven therapy.   ``This is just out-and-out AIDS fraud,'' said Dr. John Renner, director of the Consumer Health Research Institute in Kansas City, Mo., and co-head of the AIDS fraud subcommittee of the National Council Against Health Fraud. ‘He’s deceiving people into thinking this might be a reasonable treatment for AIDS even though it’s not had anybody's approval along the line.''   The AIDS Treating Machine uses a process that  Themy-Kotronakis invented to purify swimming pool water. He has since adapted the process for use on industrial wastewater, manufacturing a device called Brinecell Oxidant Generators.   He operates T&T Medical out of the Brinecell Inc. office, a concrete building nestled among manufacturing plants in a South Salt Lake industrial park.    Themy-Kotronakis, who says he has no formal schooling beyond a high school diploma earned in his native Greece, said the idea for the AIDS Treating Machine came from doctors who purchased the pool chlorinator he invented while living in Sacramento.   ``They noticed that the water was bacteria-free and that it was healing people with open cuts and wounds,''  Themy-Kotronakis said.   Wednesday morning, the same day FDA inspectors visited the business, he invited The Salt Lake Tribune to observe him treat his first patient under what he considers controlled conditions.   The patient, William R. Sims, accompanied  Themy-Kotronakis into a room with a bed, a table and a cylindrical tank filled with water.    Sims sat on the bed while Themy-Kotronakis turned on the AIDS Treating Machine, a round tank about 24 inches in diameter. Two electrodes shoot electricity through salt water inside the tank, producing ‘Solution A.''  Themy-Kotronakis said the solution contains ozone and chlorine and must be consumed quickly or its potency is lost.    Sims drank the liquid, which smells and tastes a little like bleach because the salt in the solution has been separated into sodium and chlorine.    Sims, who says he was diagnosed as HIV positive two years ago, claims he feels much better since taking Solution A.   ``I have more energy,'' Sims said. ``I lost my fatigue.''   Among the materials  Themy-Kotronakis uses to promote his machine are form letters from Vice President Al Gore, thanking him for his interest in AIDS research; and a letter from a National Institutes of Health official that says the preclinical data on the AIDS Treating Machine is insufficient. That letter, he says, encouraged him to amass better data.   He also has laboratory test results that he says show Solution A kills bacteria in a test tube.   David Roll, a University of Utah pharmacy professor and member of the National Council Against Health Fraud, is not convinced.   ``I have no doubt that ozone will do that in a test tube,'' he said. ``But the idea that this is going to be absorbed into the bloodstream is really absurd.''   Federal regulators have investigated Themy-Kotronakis before. In 1975, the Commodity Futures Trading Commission accused him and his partners in American Options Corp. (AOC) of deceiving investors with a ``Ponzi-like'' operation.   According to federal court documents, AOC did not disclose the risks involved and did not have the financial resources to underwrite and issue commodity options. While the partners did not admit wrongdoing, they agreed to shut down the business.   And in 1989, the FDA obtained an injunction prohibiting  Themy-Kotronakis from manufacturing and distributing another device for sterilizing medical instruments because the company ``did not have good manufacturing processes in place'' and did not notify FDA it was going to distribute the device,  Maifarth said.   When asked Thursday whether her agency will take further action,  Maifarth said, ``We are considering our options.'' 

11 September 1993 Saturday

I cleaned the apartment this morning as I finally was feeling up to it. Then I worked on my syllabus for the history series I want to teach at the Stonewall Center until 5 this afternoon. Then I decided to ride my bike down to Center to just hang out and straighten up the place, emptying trash, cleaning the bathrooms, did some light mopping.

            I went out to dinner with Garth Chamberlain and his friend Kevin but was back at the Center by 7:30 this evening. Bryan Stone Daly was there showing a movie for Video Night. They had to move Video Night into the board room because a Drag Show was being performed as a benefit for the Stonewall Center. It was called “Sylvia’s Stonewall Salon” Review. Benjamin Anderson was taking money at the door so I decide to attend and sat with Eric Robinson and Garth. As drag shows go it was okay. I liked Chad Keller’s act the best as he’s so Campy and doesn’t take drag so seriously. There’s a lot of lip syncing and I wish they’d use their own voices or at least have more fun performing. I left for home at 10:30 tonight as I was tired from last night.

12 September 1993 Sunday

I called John Reeves back in Boston this morning. I guess he had a slew of Gays over yesterday to watch And the Band Played On. He said the film was powerful and somewhat hard to watch with his lover Donald having died of AIDS. Otherwise he said he was fine.

            I called Mom and Dad also. She said my Uncle Milton is in limbo about his condition. The surgeon who opened him up said he couldn’t find any cancer  but the radiologist who is suppose to be treating him said there is cancer in him. I sent a Get Well card off to him to let him know I am thinking of him. He’s my Dad’s youngest brother and about John Reeve’s age.

            I went grocery shopping this morning before heading down to the Stonewall Center to train Doug Woods, who didn’t show up. So much for his commitment. I ended up spending most of my time there filing things away in the archives. Russell Kracke came in at 4 this afternoon and I left at 5 to go play volleyball in Jordan Park.

            I met Duke Bush today playing volleyball. He sure lights my fire and I have the biggest crush on him. I just had a lot of fun playing volleyball and I should have played more of it this summer. But I was afraid the guys would be too serious and not play for fun. However this 5 o’clock group is in it for the fun of it. Benjamin Anderson, Garth Chamberlain, Randy Wangreen, and Eric Robinson are there to have fun to name a few. Randy is an old heart throb from my Sacred Faerie Days. I hadn’t had so much fun in a long time. It was good to be out at the park, jumping around on the grass in the sunshine.

            I left at 7 in the evening and rode my bike home to rest and get ready for school tomorrow. So ends a fun day.

ADDITIONAL MATERIAL

• ·          WAS AUGUST SHOOTING A HATE CRIME? By Brian West and Nicole Bonham, staff Writers A man killed last month may have been targeted because he was spotted in an area considered to be a homosexual hangout. Chet O. Harris, 30, of Ogden, was shot to death on Aug. 22. Tam T. Nguyen, 16, and Taun In Ly,18, have each been charged in connection with his death. Nguyen has been charged with capital murder and aggravated robbery. But Ly has only been charged with theft, even though Nguyen told police that it was Ly who fired the shot that killed Harris. According to a search warrant filed in 3rd Circuit Court, Nguyen and Ly went to an area frequented by homosexuals near 300 S. Main about 3 a.m. the day of the shooting "to make some money." The duo met Harris there and they got into his vehicle. Investigators believe the duo chose Harris at least partly because he may have been willing to go with them, he had a vehicle and was in one of only a few downtown locations where people congregate late at night. The three men drove to Nguyen's home at 877 W. 300 South and parked in a nearby alley, according to the documents. While there, Nguyen said Ly spoke to him in Vietnamese and told him to go inside the house and get a gun. When Nguyen returned to the alley, both Harris and Ly were standing outside the vehicle. Nguyen told police that Ly told him to shoot Harris, so Nguyen shot him in the neck, the warrant states. Harris fell and dropped the keys to his vehicle. Nguyen said he and Ly picked up the keys and left in Harris's car. The shooting is one of a handful of incidents that has prompted Salt Lake City's gay and lesbian community to warn those who frequent such areas to take precautions. A candlelight vigil and press conference were held during the past two weeks to inform the gay community about recent reports of male rapes and other incidents, including a homicide near ParkWest ski resort that is believed to be a "hate crime," a crime perpetrated against someone because of the victim's race, religion, sexual orientation or ethnicity. Jared Brown, co-director of the Gay and Lesbian Anti-Violence Project, said he is concerned that the Harris shooting may also be a hate crime. "There have been many incidents of people going to(gay) cruising areas . . . then taking people and bringing them back and beating or killing them," he said."This is something that is a common pattern in anti-gay and lesbian violence."The only motive that prosecutors have alleged in the Harris shooting, however, is robbery: He was shot for his vehicle. Court documents state that Ly and Nguyen drove Harris' car a few blocks after the shooting, then Ly apparently decided he wanted to go back and see if Harris was still alive. When they returned, Nguyen said Ly took the same handgun and shot Harris in the head. Other court documents indicate that Harris died from the gunshot wound to the head, even though he was also shot in the neck. When Ly was later arrested, he was booked into jail for investigation of aggravated murder and aggravated robbery. But prosecutors have only filed a theft charge against him, accusing him of stealing the dead man's car."There isn't sufficient admissible evidence upon which we can base a (murder) charge," Salt Lake County Attorney David Yocom said of Ly. Even though Nguyen told police Ly fired the fatal shot, prosecutors can't use that testimony against Ly. Because of his constitutional right to remain silent, Nguyen cannot be forced to testify in a trial. The officer who Nguyen spoke to also cannot testify about what Nguyen told him because the defendant has a right to cross examine any witness and Nguyen has no obligation to testify. In similar cases, prosecutors have offered plea bargains to defendants on the condition that they agree to testify against others. In those circumstances, such testimony would be allowed. Detectives have previously indicated that other charges could still be filed against Ly. After the Aug. 22 shooting, Nguyen and Ly fled to Oregon in Harris' car, Nguyen told police. They were involved in an accident in La Grande, Ore., the next day. Police there found Harris' belongings in the car and, not knowing the vehicle was stolen and Harris dead, put Nguyen and Ly on a bus bound for Salt Lake City. They were arrested by Salt Lake police when they stepped off the bus. A search of their duffle-bags produced items including shoes, clothing with possible blood stains and rifle ammunition, according to the affidavit. Officers confiscated the shoes and have sent them to a crime lab to determine if they match a shoe-tread impression that was found on Harris' shirt. 

13 September 1993 Monday

I woke up at 3:30 this morning so congested that I could only breathe through my mouth. I was in misery. I’m not sure whether it’s a cold or hay fever but must be a cold. I went to work feeling like shit and just couldn’t wait for the day to be over. I had at least 6 students absent also.  At home Garth Chamberlain dropped by and said he got a job at Thrifty Car Rental out by the airport. He asked if he could crash at my place on Fridays as the only buses that run at midnight are into town and not down south. I said sure.            I had to train Kirk Robinson tonight in the library so I walked my bike down with Garth Chamberlain to the Center. There was a Board of Trustees meeting going on. It’s cold out. 

14 September 1993-Tuesday

I took a lot of drugs last night, Sudafed’s, Alka Selzer Plus, and Nite Quil. The works and I’m feeling so much better today. All that stuffy head cold feeling is gone. It’s autumn weather outside. I had to wear a sweater to school this morning. It’s too cold to stand outside without one while waiting for the bus.

            Ginger Hansen, the mother of Robert Hansen came into today to sit with Robert. It made all the difference in the world. He acts one way around his parents and one way around me. Sometimes I have all these children working together and then they fall apart. I just have too many of them. It’s like too many rats in a cage.

            I went down to the Stonewall Library after work to train Matt Uhl in procedures. He was an hour late but did finally show up. Scott Wolfer came with him so I trained them both.

            I met Chris Condit tonight and was instantly attracted to him. I gave him a little shoulder massage as I could sense he was stressed out and hurting. For a while it seemed like all the library volunteers were at the Center, including Lynn Gillman, Rachel Madsen, Bob McIntier, Willy Marshall, and Ray Nielsen. We were being campy and bitchy. Matt and Scott are a team and a scream. I like them both, the more I am getting to know them. Rachel Madsen was down doing a Question and Answer presentation about the necessity of a community library.  I’m happiest when I am serving the community and being with Gay and Lesbian people.

            Benjamin Anderson wants to talk to me about what happened between Russell Kracke and him last night But I didn’t have the time to chat. Bob McIntier told me that David Ball is going to be kicked off the Board of Trustees of the Center as a no show.

ADDITIONAL MATERIAL

• ·         Bente J. Trapp wrote regarding the Utah Law invalidating marriages of people With AIDS It is a relief that the state's officialdom has regained its senses regarding the law that banned marriage if one partner is HIV positive. To say the state was not ``dragging its feet'' is ludicrous. What this statement shows is a total lack of education and information on how HIV/AIDS progresses. Time was of the essence in this case, and for the governor to suggest that the two women wait until the Legislature was in session to rescind the law demonstrated a lack of sensitivity. I suggest that city, county and state governments call the Utah AIDS  Foundation and participate in their education program. The AIDS Foundation will come to the job site and give an informative program to all employees, including the governor. There also would be an opportunity to meet people living with AIDS who volunteer their time to help educate the public. BENJAMINTE J. TRAPP Director People With AIDS Coalition of Utah Salt Lake City  09/14/93  Page: A9 SLTribune)

15 September 1993

Marlow Mangum sure made me mad today. He is so disrespectful. That’s the trouble with so many of these kids. They don’t know what it means to be respectful to adults. They are sarcastic and rude to adults. Where did they learn that?  I need to get a Masters Degree and become an administrator just to get away from that.

            I came home late because of an in-service presentation on the needs of autistic children. I went grocery shopping and came across Eric and Donald at Smith’s. They are just kids! Eric is like 20 and Donald is 19. What would it have been like to have been openly Gay in 1969 with John Cunningham instead of keeping my love a secret.

            I came back home and typed up some behavior expectation forms for my students and some procedure forms for the Stonewall Library volunteers.

            The weather is bizarre. It’s cold enough in the morning to have to wear a coat then it gets up to 80 degrees in the afternoon. You can’t dress for that kind of weather at all.

            Ray Nielsen called and asked if I would lead Unconditional Support tomorrow but said I couldn’t. I have to be at the Youth Writers Project tomorrow. 

16 September 1993-Thursday

It rained this afternoon so no outdoor recess for the kids. I wasn’t expecting it too so didn’t bring an umbrella. I never watch TV anymore. Who has the time? I went to the Stonewall Center after work to train Grant Cheever in the library procedures and to meet Matt Uhl who is behind this Young Queer Poets group. I’m only associated with them through our Library’s Gay and Lesbian Writers Project. About six of us showed up for the initial meeting.

            It was so hectic at the Center this evening I thought my head was coming off. Tony Feliz called and wanted to know if there was any Gay support group for LDS Intellectuals who are being excommunicated. I guess there is a purge within the Mormon Church right now of intelligent people. ha! I announced  my Gay History course at Unconditional Support.

            Matt Uhl took me home so I don’t have to be out in the damp air.

ADDITIONAL MATERIAL

• ·         Since 1983, 835 AIDS cases have been reported in Utah. Another 730 people have tested positive for HIV, but HIV records have only been kept for the last couple of years. More than half of the   AIDS victims -- 453 -- have died. (09/16/93  Page: C3  SLTribune) 

17 September 1993 Friday

It rained really hard this morning. It feels like fall already. Thank Gawd this week is over. It is going to be a difficult year all year if it continues this way. Robert Hansen is a little shit and his parents of course think there’s nothing the matter with his behavior and won’t support me. So I am putting him off in a corner to isolate him from the others and he can do what he pleases. There’s no support for my trying to control his behavior from his home and he didn’t get this way on his own. Marlow Mangum is a mess too. I have his parents coming in on Monday to discuss his disruptive behavior. Part of the problem is that these Mormon parents think their kids can do no wrong.

            At home I cleaned this evening thinking that Garth Chamberlain might spend the night. So I got a lot of housework done by not watching TV anymore. My television has not been hooked up since Monday and I really don’t miss it. Then Garth called later and said he didn’t need my place to crash so I just went to bed myself at 10 tonight.

            I sent off the birthday cards I bought for Billy Bikowski and Grandpa Johnson. I bought cards for Jeff Lensman and Bill Blevin, two of the library volunteers. Jeff’s parents were killed in a head on collision by a drunk driver in Montana and Bill had suffered a stroke. He’s only about my age! I only have a cold sore on my lip but Ouch. 

            In the news Israel and the Palestine Liberation Organization have made peace and Jordan and Israel have done likewise. They have been fighting each other for 45 years. Times, they are a-changing. 

18 September 1993 Saturday

Garth Chamberlain didn’t have to spend the night last night but I gave him a key to my apartment just in case. He’s working out at the airport at a car rental place Fridays until midnight and the buses only run to downtown that late. So he’s only going to spend Friday nights at my place.

            It was a gloomy , gloomy day. It never rained but really cold, overcast and nasty weather. It was a great day just to stay in bed and fuck. I made my first pot of pinto beans for the season and baked some corn bread tonight so its officially soup and hot beans weather now until next April.

            I had 100 copies of my flyer for the Gay History 101 printed today and the rode down to the Center. Lynn Gillman was working in the Library and Russell Kracke was organizing the archives. Dale Sorenson came in and I gave him hell about taking the Gay and Lesbian Community Council’s archive file without permission from either Lynn, Russell or  me. He said that the Council had given him permission and I said the Council had no more right to take archival material than they have the right to take books off the shelf. Dale was contrite so I let him check out the material for two weeks. He says he’s compiling all the by-law changes from the minutes over the past two years. However our  minutes in the file stop in May when David Ball flaked off and stopped sending out the minutes. I told Dale someone has got to get all that stuff from David because the gap in the Council’s minutes is a serious breach in the integrity of that organization. I said I am not the one to do it as David and I are no longer speaking to each other.

            Anyway Scott Wolfer came into volunteer and we visited for a while. I paid for a large pizza for the volunteers working, so we all had supper at the Center.

            It started to rain at 6:45 this evening so Kelly Dinsmore, who was giving Garth a ride home in her truck also gave me a ride. I would have liked to have stayed for the Video Night as they were showing “Parting Glances” but was still feeling down from this cold I have.

            I flaked off a commitment today which I feel kind of bad about. I had told a friend of Maury Modine that I’d help out at the Mood for a Day Booth today at the State Fair but I didn’t. I’d had to have paid my own way in and stand out in the cold air. With my cold, I said to myself, “fuck it.” I only said I would because I wanted to be with Maury anyway. I really don’t care if marijuana is legalized or not. I think I may have smoked it what, 5 times in my life. Big deal. I’ve been drunk a lot more times than that. I’ve never done real drugs like cocaine, LSD, etc. I wouldn’t. But a little grass doesn’t hurt anyone. The feds know it. They just have too much bureaucracy invested in suppressing it. It’s just like the evil vice cops.

            I went to bed by 10 tonight. Looking outside my window that faces the driveway alley, I saw two guys giving each other a kiss and I thought how sweet. 

ADDITIONAL MATERIAL

• ·         Ralph Martinez was born April 22, 1948 at Durango, Colorado, to the late Ralph, Sr., and Josie Gonzales Martinez. He died peacefully on Saturday, September 18, 1993, at his home in Payson, Utah, under the loving care of his mother and sisters. Ralph will be deeply missed by his family and very special friends, especially those in San Diego, California, where he resided for 20 years. "Ralph, we will miss your gentle and kind spirit."    Ralph graduated from Payson High School in 1967. He worked for the Veterans Hospital for 25 years and the Kaiser Hospital in Portland, Oregon. He retired from the San Diego Veterans Hospital in La Jolla, California in August of 1992. Ralph was active in competition clogging with the Quarter-Note Loggers. He was president of the San Diego Rodeo Association for three years. He was to be Grand Marshall of the 1993 Rodeo, being held September 25, 1993. Under Ralph's appointment as president, the Rodeo Association donated over $30,000 to the   AIDS hospice program. He dedicated much of his last years to this organization.    Ralph is survived by his loving mother, Josie Martinez, his loving sisters and their husbands, Adela and Balthazar Corona, and Angie and Religion Portillo, all of Payson; many uncles, aunts, cousins, nephews, nieces. The family would like to thank his very special friends, especially Clay Wright, Michael Taylor, Lee Silva, Drew Leaped.    Mass of the Christian Burial will be Wednesday, 10 a.m. at San Andres Catholic Church, 315 East 100 North, Payson. Friends may call at the Walker Mortuary, 587 South 100 West, Payson, Tuesday 7-8 p.m., with Rosary 8:00 p.m. Burial will be in the Payson City Cemetery. T 9/21 N 9/21

• ·         Page: B1 As Lynne Whiteside’s was being told of her disfellowhipment, about 150 friends held a vigil outside the S.L. ward at 951 E. 100 South. While singing a hymn, Barbara Bernstein, Ogden, holds a candle in the shape of a ``burning question'' during vigil supporting Mormon feminist.  LDS CHURCH SANCTIONS SIX PROMINENT SCHOLARSFEMINISTS, INTELLECTUALS FACE HEARINGS BEFOREDISCIPLINARY COUNCILS  LDS CHURCH SNCTIONS 6 SCHOLARS WHO QUESTION AUTHORITY Byline: By Peter Scarlet THE SALT LAKE TRIBUNE     The six scholars being called into the ecclesiastical woodshed this month share two key characteristics: They are Mormons and they publicly question authority.   Paul Toscano, Lavina Fielding Anderson, Maxine Hanks, Avraham Gileadi, D. Michael Quinn and Lynne Kanavel Whitesides, all intellectuals and/or feminists, have been chastised or are awaiting censure from local leaders of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.   -- Mr. Toscano, a Salt Lake attorney, is scheduled to appear Sunday at a stake disciplinary Council for ``apostasy. ‘The Council is scheduled for 6 a.m. and his supporters are planning a sunrise service at the stake Center, 1785 E. Spring Lane (5000 South), Salt Lake City. He has differed publicly with church leaders and spoke at this year's Sunstone Symposium on the topic, ``All is Not Well in Zion: False Teachings of the True Church,'' against the wishes of his local church leaders.   -- Ms. Anderson last Sunday received a notice of a stake disciplinary Council for ``conduct unbecoming a member. ‘Her meeting is scheduled for Thursday, but she says she will not attend. In the spring issue of Dialogue: A Journal of Mormon Thought, Ms. Anderson compiled a chronology of incidents and events within the church that she called instances of spiritual abuse against LDS members.   -- Ms. Hanks, editor of a book containing essays and writings about Mormon feminism, Women and Authority: Re-emerging Mormon Feminism, has received a letter asking her to attend a stake disciplinary Council for ``apostasy. ‘She says she will not attend her Sunday hearing. Ms. Hanks' book -- she has spoken publicly about it often -- contains essays and letters about Mother in Heaven, women and priesthood and other controversial feminist issues.   -- Mr. Gileadi, noted for his translation and commentary on the Old Testament book of Isaiah, was asked to attend a stake disciplinary Council Wednesday for ``apostasy.'' He declined to comment on its outcome. Unlike the other five, Mr.Gileadi has not promoted his ideas in the popular press.   -- Mr. Quinn, a historian and former Brigham Young University professor, has spoken and written about a number of controversial subjects, including church leader-sanctioned polygamy after church President Wilford Woodruff prohibited it in 1890, President Ezra Taft Benson's involvement in right-wing politics while he was serving as an apostle during the'60s and church founder Joseph Smith's interest in folk magic in the early 19th century.- Ms. Whitesides, president of the Mormon Women's Forum, was disfellowshipped Tuesday night by bishop Virgil Merrill of Salt Lake City's 11th Ward. Disfellowhipment cuts off many privileges of church membership, but it falls short of excommunication.   ``I'm really pleased I'm still a member,'' she says. ``It [the LDS Church] is a large part of my life.''   Ms. Whitesides, who joined the LDS Church more than 20 years ago, says she was accused of opposing Mormon general authorities and speaking about Mother in Heaven after President Gordon B. Hinckley of the church's First Presidency instructed Latter-day Saints to refrain from praying to her.   Mormon feminists and intellectuals formed Mormon Women's Forum several years ago to promote public discussion of feminist topics in Mormonism, including women and the church's all-male priesthood and physical and sexual abuse.   ``I have disagreed with general authorities,'' Ms. Whitesides admits. ``But I respect these men and don't feel it is apostasy to disagree.''   She says she will continue to speak publicly about Mormon women's issues.   Mormon intellectuals say the sanctions represent a centrally directed purge before the church's General Conference Oct. 2-3 in Salt Lake City. But church spokesmen suggest happenstance is the only reason behind the timing of the ecclesiastical censures.   ``Apparently,'' says church spokesman Bruce L. Olsen, ``several of these instances have converged as local authorities have felt it their duty to act.'' Don LeFevre, another church spokesman, says disciplinary matters within the church are not handled by the general authorities.   ``They are decided locally,'' he says. ``That's the policy. What, if any, action is to be taken is up to local church leaders, who also are bound by policy to maintain confidentiality.''   Aside from their claim that the actions were instigated by general authorities, Mormon intellectuals have a bogyman they say is behind it all: Apostle Boyd K. Packer.   They recall a speech he gave late last spring to church employees in which he cited three threats to the church.   ``The dangers I speak of come from the gay-lesbian movement, the feminist movement (both of which are relatively new), and the ever-present challenge from the so-called scholars or intellectuals,'' Elder Packer said.   ``Our local leaders must deal with all three of them with ever-increasing frequency.''   Elder Packer was ordained to the Quorum of the Twelve in April 1970 at the age of 45.   ``I'm a DNA Mormon,'' said historian D. Michael Quinn. ``It's in me, whether they accept or remove me. This is true for converts as well as those who are born into the church.''  Mr. Quinn, disfellowshipped last July, was notified earlier this week that his local church leaders will convene a disciplinary Council Sept. 26 to consider excommunication.   He likened the church to a dysfunctional family where the parent kicks out a child.   ``But the relationship does not end,'' Mr. Quinn said. ``My personal feeling is that we all are indispensable to God. No one can be written off. No one is unimportant.''   Mr. Toscano said church membership unites all Latter-day Saints despite differences of opinion.   ``We may picture God differently. We may differ on doctrine, but we all are united in the church of Jesus Christ,'' he said. ``And the church of Jesus Christ should be grounded on the principle of love, not purity.'' 

19 September 1993 Sunday

Today is my Grandpa Johnson’s 92^nd birthday. I had a weird dream last night about religious fundamentalists holding a major convention here in Salt Lake to attack Gays and Lesbians. I remember telling one of them off, saying that they were nothing but a bunch of white trash who if it weren’t for their fear of homosexuals would be in a honky-tonk instead of church.

            If was a much prettier day today; with the weather being bright and sunny. John Reeves called from Boston and we visited about his class on the Sociology of Homosexuality this Spring. I told him about the 9 week course of Gay and Lesbian History I will be teaching at the Stonewall Center as part of my historical society. He said I should contact the dean of the division of Continuing education at the University of Utah and also contact Dr. Taylor at the Salt Lake Community College who is Vice Chair of Academic Affairs. I said I’'ll try to get all that done next week.

            I rode my bike to the Stonewall Center at 1 in the afternoon. Toni Palmer and Laura Trent were the volunteers. Russell Kracke was in working on the files in the archives. There was this bi-sexual group meeting this afternoon. They annoy me. The whole concept; that they can go running back to heterosexuality when the going gets tough. I still firmly believe that bi-sexuality is a learner’s permit for being Gay while they test the waters to see if its safe to go in. 

            I left the Center at 4:30 this afternoon to go play volleyball at Jordan Park on 9^th West and 9^th South. There were just a handful of us but we had fun. Also I needed the exercise. I can tell that the really good and serious players play at 1 to avoid having to play with us who do it just for fun. That’s okay too.

            Benjamin Anderson took me home in his borrowed car so I didn’t have to ride the whole way home on my bike. There I watched a video tape of And the Band Played On. It’s very powerful and I cried at the end of it. Matthew Modine still reminds so much of Billy Bikowski.

ADDITIONAL MATERIAL

• ·         B1 MORMON PURGE OF INTELLECTUALS As Lynne Whitesides was being told of her disfellowhipment, about 150 friends held a vigil outside the S.L. ward at 951 E. 100 South. While singing a hymn, Barbara Bernstein, Ogden, holds a candle in the shape of a ``burning question'' during vigil supporting Mormon feminist.   LDS CHURCH SANCTIONS SIX PROMINENT SCHOLARS FEMINISTS, INTELLECTUALS FACE HEARINGS BEFORE DISCIPLINARY COUNCILS LDS CHURCH SANCTIONS 6 SCHOLARS WHO QUESTION AUTHORITY Byline: By Peter Scarlet THE SALT LAKE TRIBUNE  he six scholars being called into the ecclesiastical woodshed this month share two key characteristics: They are Mormons and they publicly question authority. Paul Toscano, Lavina Fielding Anderson, Maxine Hanks, Avraham Gileadi, D. Michael Quinn and Lynne Kanavel  Mr. Quinn, a historian and former Brigham Young University professor, has spoken and written about a number of controversial subjects, including church leader-sanctioned polygamy after church President Wilford Woodruff prohibited it in 1890, President Ezra Taft Benson's involvement in right-wing politics while he was serving as an apostle during the '60s and church founder Joseph Smith's interest in folk magic in the early 19th century. Apostle Boyd K. Packer. They recall a speech he gave late last spring to church employees in which he cited three threats to the church.  ``The dangers I speak of come from the gay-lesbian movement, the feminist movement (both of which are relatively new), and the ever-present challenge from the so-called scholars or intellectuals,'' Elder Packer said. ``Our local leaders must deal with all three of them with ever-increasing frequency.''  Elder Packer was ordained to the Quorum of the Twelve in April 1970 at the age of 45.  ``I'm a DNA Mormon,'' said historian D. Michael Quinn. ``It's in me, whether they accept or remove me. This is true for converts as well as those who are born into the church.''  Mr. Quinn, disfellowshipped last July, was notified earlier this week that his local church leaders will convene a disciplinary Council Sept. 26 to consider excommunication. He likened the church to a dysfunctional family where the parent kicks out a child. ``But the relationship does not end,'' Mr. Quinn said. ``My personal feeling is that we all are indispensable to God. No one can be written off. No one is unimportant.'' 

20 September 1993 Monday

I took a very strange road trip in my dreams last night. I was on the road in a 16 wheeler with my Uncle J.W. Johnson which blew a tire. The next scene was my Aunt Pauline Johnson in a small country diner buying herself a turkey sandwich while I was checking out the men in the men’s room's stalls examining their hard ons. Then next I was on a bicycle with Chuck Whyte heading towards a bathhouse where out front I see the staff of Orchard Elementary who appeared to be amazed at all the Rainbow Flags on the building. I tell them this is a Gay bathhouse. Then Jeff workman grabbed me but we lose each other in the flowing crowds entering the bath house until we meet up again outside in the morning. I have drag make up on and say something to affect “Daylight does not become drag.”  Then Jeff drives me home. I touch his leg and he puts his arm around me which draws me close and I become really sad. Next he drops me off at my old home on Dale Street in Garden Grove where he tells me that he doesn’t love me anymore. I collapse in front of the garage door and just become a weeping figure. Circles. What does this all mean I wonder?

            School went okay and I didn’t get after anyone big time, although Marlow Mangum and Robert Hansen were acting like little jerks during the student elections,

            Anyway it was warmer today and it was a nice day for the end of summer. I rode my bike to the Stonewall Center this evening to train Jon Schild in the library procedures. I only wanted to be there an hour but ended up staying three hours. The Log Cabin Club held their first meeting tonight at the Center. Chris Ryan is behind the groups and I was not impressed by the caliber of dweebs that attended.  

21 September 1993 Tuesday

It’s the first day of Autumn and the season of Mabon. I’m still not feeling perky. I can’t get over this damn cold. It was a nice warm day but I was inside for most of it. I took a Dimetapp for my sinuses and I kept falling asleep in class . It was a good thing we were taking SAT tests all morning and afternoon.

            At home Bronco aka Chet Off of Magic Carpet BBS called me and we visited about getting together this Friday. We will see. If you don’t strike when the iron’s hot it usually cools down.

            I also called back this attorney named Chuck Herro. He is suing the state of Utah about this Swain Case. Evidently this man named Swain who lived in Uintah County, contracted AIDS in 1985 from a blood transfusion. He later died. However the hospital wouldn’t tell him for six months that he had contracted AIDS and he had passed it on to his wife who also died. The family is suing the state of Utah for allowing the blood supply to be contaminated by not contacting the Gay Community to ask them not to donate blood. A man named Laub claimed, according to Herro, that there was no Gay and Lesbian Community in 1983 for him to contact.

            I gave him contact numbers for Bruce Barton, Bob Waldrop, and David Nelson all who were active in the Gay community ten years ago. Laub should have actually said that on one recognized that there was a Gay Community in Salt Lake City.

ADDITIONAL MATERIAL

• ·         Medical Malpractice Story: Orville and Ora Mae Swain. Orville and Ora Mae Swain, married for 54 years, both died after Orville received AIDS-contaminated blood during a heart bypass operation in Utah. Despite knowing about the infected donor and virus-carrying blood, the blood bank never told the Swains, causing Orville to unknowingly pass AIDS on to his wife. For the next two years, the couple's health deteriorated without explanation. The Swains' family filed suit against the blood bank, claiming it failed to follow recommended standards in screening its donors and testing blood. After a six-year lawsuit, the parties settled in November 1993, one week before the case was to go to trial.

• ·         Lawyers & Advocates for Wyoming or L.A.W. was started in 1991. It was Gerry Spence’s dream to create a law firm that was devoted solely to Wyoming’s public interest. He wanted a law firm that would always fight for Wyoming’s people and important Wyoming causes—even if those cases did not generate an economic value for the law firm. Based on this dream, he and his partners at Spence, Moriarity and Schuster, L.L.C. started L.A.W. L.A.W. is not-for-profit. It strives to support itself by re-investing fees earned from cases into the firm and using the money to fund future cases. The firm’s sole employee is a Director who is selected by the Board of Directors. (The Board is made up of the members of The Spence Law Firm, L.L.C.). The Director is responsible for the day-to-day operations of the firm and the day-to-day management of all cases assigned to L.A.W. For each case that is handled by L.A.W., one or more Board members are assigned to assist and advise the Director in that particular case. The Board members do not receive fees for the work they perform on L.A.W.’s cases—all of their time is donated. L.A.W. simply would not be successful without the hours of work that the Board contributes to L.A.W., and the guidance they provide the Director. This firm also takes cases outside the state of Wyoming if they have social appeal and are seen to advance the betterment of justice.

22 September 1993

My back is sore again. I am not sure what I am doing to make it hurt. It’s probably that damn bed mattress of Jeff Workman’s he left here. Joanne Sandberg, the 4^th Grade teacher who transferred to Washington, took me after school to this Davis Education Association Health Seminar where I signed up with Standard Optical to be on their program for $48 a year for which I can get an eye exam and contacts or glasses. It sure beats the Family Health Plan. Sandberg took me home so I didn’t have to catch a bus. So I was in my apartment by 6 this evening.

            The weather is nice and very fall like. I saw that the scrub oaks on the hills above North Salt Lake have turned red. It’s the first time that I’ve notice the color change this year so it is definitely autumn.

            I stayed home this evening. I threw out Jeff’s mattress and bed springs. I am surprised that I had the strength to do it all myself, carrying them down the stairs to stand them up in my car port beneath my apartment. I brought my twin size bed in from the front room and put it in my bedroom wedged between the computer desk and the chest of drawers. It was a lot of work. I thought about moving the Queen Size bed into my room from the spare room but I don’t need it and it’s rather large. I’ll save it for company. This little bed suits me just fine and I hope it will help my back.  

23 September 1993 Thursday

I just kind of slept walked all day. I found out that our Science Core is changing next year after the district had bought all these new text books which will be useless for our grade as they only match the old core. No one ever gives anyone enough information to make intelligent choices in education. We just do what the higher ups say. Someone is making money for sure.

            I went after school and volunteered at the Stonewall Library for 3 hours. I talked Mark Haslam into working tomorrow and training Rick Eden. Ray Neilson says he has back minutes of the Gay and Lesbian Community Council to complete the set in the archives. My back is stiff and sore again. 

24 September 1994 Friday

I blew up at Marlow Mangum again today. I am so glad he is moving as he is extremely difficult to deal with and is mean to the other kids. I did art with my students in the afternoon to mellow them out but other than that I just did SAT testing all day. I just wish I could shake this cold or hay fever or whatever it is that I’ve got.  I’ve had it for over a month now and I think that is why I am cranky with my misbehaving boys.

            Rick Eden was the Library volunteer this evening at the Stonewall Center. I had Mark Haslam train him although I did come down later. Mark said he saw Billy Bikowski at the store on the night Mark took me home. So I just missed running into Billy. Perhaps he saw me and avoids me. Who knows? He said Billy was at the store with some guy from the LDS 2^nd Liberty Ward. I hope he’s happy.

            I went home at 8:30 this evening and played Solitaire on my computer before going to bed at 10:30 tonight. Solitaire is my real life. I am playing Solitaire with no one to love.

25 September 1993 Saturday

Garth Chamberlain spent the night using my place to crash. We were up at 6:30 this morning. He had to catch a bus down to his work and I then straightened up the apartment a little.

            John Reeves called from Boston right as I was getting ready to leave the house. He’s doing okay. His soon to be ex-wife Barbara sent him a nasty letter that she also sent to his lawyer.  I think he finally realizes that she is mentally unstable to be so angry at him. He said he’s going to also make his lover Donald an AIDS panel for the Quilt since the part of the cemetery where Donald is buried does not allow tombstones or markers of any kind. It’s kind of a pauper section of the cemetery for indigents.

            Anyway I rode my bike to the genealogy library to work on John Cunningham’s genealogy. I found his great grandfather William P Hamilton in 1880 as living in Trenton, Grundy County, Missouri but everything else is kind of messy as there were two William Hamilton’s living in the county at the same time.

            I stayed at the library until 3:30 in the afternoon then rode to the Stonewall Center where I was the Library volunteer for the evening. I worked until 7 then attended the Center’s Video Night and watch Fellini’s “Satyricon”. It was as bizarre as when I first saw it with John Cunningham and too strange for the majority of those watching so many left. I guess you have to really be a film buff to sit through it.

            Afterwards I went to the Deerhunter up the street and there I saw Garth, Eric Robinson, Kevin and Benjamin Anderson all drinking and having a good time. I stayed with them and danced although I didn’t drink. I saw James Connelley there after all these years. He’s graduated from college in accounting. He’s such a sweetheart.

            From the Deerhunter the entourage went over to Bricks on 2^nd South which was super crowded. It was a wild dancing crowd with high energy like the SUN used to be. I didn’t have a membership card so I just pushed by the crowd, flashing my wallet and one of my other cards and paid a cover charge. I knew they’d be too busy and hectic to notice or care as long as they got some money.

            I didn’t have as much of a good time at Bricks as I did at the Deerhunter. It was too young of a crowd for me to compete with, as I was ten to twenty years older than most of the Gay kids dancing. I did see John Bennett “holding court” with his entourage and I think he gets more handsome every year.

            Benjamin was rather feeling down and I was tired also so about 11:30 at night we left and walked back to the Deerhunter cutting across Pioneer Park, so that I could retrieve my bike I had left there. We walked home together since he lives at 4^th South and 8^th East and I’m at 9^th East and 6^th South.

            At home I dialed up the BBS Magic Carpet line and talked to this man Dave who used the name Mountain. He agreed to come over which he did at 3 in the morning. He fucked me so I didn’t get to sleep until 4 after he had left.

ADDITIONAL MATERIAL

• ·         Dr. R. Jan Stout, age 57, died in Salt Lake City, Utah of cancer. He lived most of his life in Salt Lake City and attended Salt Lake schools, graduating from South High School.  Dr. Stout received his bachelor's degree in medical biology from the University of Utah in 1958 and his medical degree from the University of Utah School of Medicine in 1961. He interned at L.D.S. Hospital and completed residency training in psychiatry at Stanford Medical Center and the University of Utah Medical Center in 1965. He then practiced psychiatry in Salt Lake City until December, 1992 when illness forced him to discontinue. He was a kind and caring physician, highly regarded by his patients and professional colleagues. He was assistant professor at the University of Utah Medical Center where he shared his knowledge and experience with many medical students and psychiatric residents. He promoted public understanding of psychiatric problems through working with the media and was interested in replacing social prejudice with empathy, knowledge and acceptance, especially towards those having different sexual orientations. He also contributed a number of articles to professional and lay publications. Dr. Stout served as president of the Utah Psychiatric Association in 1970-71 and was an officer of the organization for the past 10 years. He was awarded a fellowship in the American Psychiatric Association in 1977. In 1991 he received the Distinguished Service Award of the Utah Psychiatric Association in recognition of his outstanding contributions and achievements. He is survived by his wife, Linda T. Stout of Salt Lake City, Utah; and children.

  ·         John C. Smith a Native of Tremonton, Utah died in Redwood City, California, September 25, 1993, following complications from AIDS.  A 10-year resident of Salt Lake City, John lived in California for the past five years. He was 33. Surviving is his companion, Rick Olliges of Redwood City, Calif.

26 September 1993 Sunday

It was kind of a do nothing morning. I got out of bed at 9 and then read the Sunday Paper. Then I went back to bed where I slept in until 1:30 in the afternoon when Benjamin Anderson called just to talk. I had to get stirring anyway because I had a Stonewall Center staff meeting with Melissa Sillitoe at 3.

            At the Center, Garth Chamberlain, Lynn Gillman, and I talked about library policies and what our budget was. Lynn measured the library door frame so that she could install a door so we can lock up the library. Right now anyone could walk in while we aren’t there and take items without checking them out. We are also having a mandatory staff meeting for all the Library Volunteers in October.

            James Kelly asked me if I would read something at a celebration he is having with his boyfriend Aaron Smith next week. I said I would but hope it doesn’t conflict with the Stonewall Quarterly meeting. He’s having roommate troubles with Kevin Clark and Danny Brujillo and may be coming to stay at my place for awhile.

            Next Sunday, Rocky O’Donovan is presenting for the Historical Society at Affirmation. He wants me to get an overhead projector and screen for his presentation too! Geez Rocky. Do you want me to give the talk also?  Spencer Barker from Ogden said he will see if he can rent one from Weber State.

            I rode my bike over to Jordan Park afterwards to play volleyball but so few showed up and the net was late getting there so  we all quit and left.

            I then rode home from 9^th West to 9^th East and I was still tired from getting to bed so late yesterday. You know you are getting old when you would rather have a good night sleep than sex.

            The weather is very fall like with mild days and cool nights. The leaves are really beginning to change colors. The Season of Mabon is certainly here. The beauty of dying is upon us again. 

27 September 1993 Monday

I saw Dr. Jan Stout’s obituary in the paper. That was surprising as that he was only 57 years old. He died 25 September 1993. I guess from what the obit said he had been really sick since last December. He must have died of cancer since his family wanted contributions to the Cancer Society. He was really Gay friendly and helped dispel some of the prejudice in the medical and psychiatric circles here in Utah against Gay people. He spoke at Affirmation years ago about how homosexuality was not learned but in born and I have a cassette of his lecture in the Stonewall library.

            This month is rolling by fast. I was sick today and kept sneezing and blowing my nose and feeling achy. I’ve been sick for over a month now and my back still aches. Coming back to school, I always get sick being around so many little germ magnates but I wonder if my disk is degenerating?

            The buses were rerouted again today and I didn’t get home until 5 this afternoon. I met the kid who had sweetly kissed his boyfriend outside my apartment window last week. We were riding on the same bus.

            I spent most of the evening creating by-laws and procedures for the Stonewall Library. They have never been done before. I went to bed by 9:30 tonight.

ADDITIONAL MATERIAL

• ·  When his best buddy died of AIDS, 8-year-old Tyler Spriggs decided he would, too. Enough nausea. Enough exhaustion. Enough of what had killed all his friends.     Tyler had always been a fighter, determined not to let the vicious disease take over his life. His parents, Mick and Carolyn   Spriggs of Sandy, could see he was just as determined, but his aim had changed.   ``He thought he was the only one left,'' Carolyn Spriggs said.     And he was -- the only one left of a handful of children with AIDS whose families had gathered together twice a year to share their experiences. For a week, Mick and Carolyn fought with their son over his change of heart. They consulted doctors and psychologists. Tyler was asked some pointed questions: Did he know what would happen if he stopped taking his pills? He said he would get sick and go to the hospital.     ``I said it would be worse than that, and he said, `I know. I'm going to die,' '' Carolyn   Spriggs said.  Tyler was the son of Carolyn's half-sister. He came to live with Carolyn, Mick and their three children when he was 14 months old. He called Carolyn and Mick his parents and called his birth mother by her first name. No formal adoption was made by the Spriggses. Still alive, the birth mother was an intravenous-drug user who had passed the disease to her son.  Tyler was diagnosed with AIDS at age 2, about a year after he moved in with the Spriggses.   ``People just don't understand how much you can love a child you didn't give birth to,'' Carolyn said. Tyler's choice shocked the couple. It seemed so out of character. Tyler was fun-loving, a giggler. And he and Carolyn had traveled the state educating people about AIDS. When the pair went to schools, he always said the same thing:  ``My name is Tyler and I have AIDS. I have bad bugs in my blood. I can't hurt you, but if I start to bleed, you better get your gloves on.''   Tyler was never afraid to give orders when it came to his disease. He refused pain medication and tubes for feeding or breathing -- even though many of his friends relied on them.  Carolyn only heard him once say that he did not want to have AIDS -- and that was during a time he was feeling well. Everybody loved Tyler -- but Tyler preferred kids, dogs and older people. He would wander his Sandy neighborhood knocking on doors. When people answered, he would ask if they had children. If they were elderly, he would stay to visit. If they had kids, he would stay and play. If there was a dog in the house, he would bring it outside. Even in the last weeks of his life, Tyler took charge. He stopped setting goals and he did not talk about the future. That was unusual for a child who marked time by passing holidays. He never once mentioned Halloween or Christmas this year. ``He knew then,'' Carolyn said. When she thought the end was close, she sat him down to talk.  He cut her off. ``I know, Mom,'' he said, ``and I don't want to talk about it.''  Soon after, he started losing blood volume; the transfusions stopped working. The family celebrated his birthday a week early with the ice-cream cake he had requested.  The night he died, they tucked him into bed to watch a video and his brother made him a peanut-butter sandwich.  Within minutes, he had a seizure, mumbled to Carolyn he was dying and slipped away. It was one week before his 9th birthday. The cause of death was liver failure. He weighed 35 pounds. The Sept. 27 obituary read: Tyler Matthew Hammer (Spriggs). ``Today I finally got tired and decided to join my friends Hailey, Chance, Eugene and my Aunt Mary.''     More than 500 attended the funeral.  ``I miss him a lot. As time goes by it's worse. I always think it will get better, but it doesn't,'' Carolyn said the other day. ``I know children die every day, but we've seen so many and he was our own.''  On Dec. 1, Tyler and his friends will be among nearly 1,000 Utahns remembered during the 7th Annual World AIDS Day. A candlelight vigil is scheduled at the State Capitol -- the same vigil Tyler attended with his parents during the first AIDS Day celebration. When Tyler died, the Spriggs family considered giving up their activism on behalf of AIDS patients.  ``We used to say that after Tyler died, that would be it. But now we can't stop,'' Carolyn says. ``Tyler gave a lot of his life to do that, and I don't think he'd appreciate it if I stopped.''  The thing is, she says, ``Now I'll have to take a little slide show instead of Tyler

28 September 1993 Tuesday

Today is sweet Billy Bikowski’s 32^nd birthday. I hope you are well, tended gently by people who love you as much as I do.

            School was okay but again the buses were rerouted without telling anyone. So I didn’t get home until after 5 o’clock again. That’s over an hour to get into downtown from North Salt Lake which is only 6 miles.

            I went down to the Stonewall Center to go over library by-laws with Lynn Gillman. Jim Hunsaker was working the front desk but nothing much was going on. However Garth Chamberlain told me that Melissa Sillitoe and Michelle Davies have separated. That’s unfortunate. Melissa said she had lost her keys, so I brought the Center’s receipts home to her at the Riviera. I gave her a long hug. She wasn’t eating well so I brought her some pinto beans and corn bread. I heard that Melissa’s roommate Jeremy had broken up with James Bangerter too! I need to make these kids some veggie lasagna to live on.

            Anyway I had a phone call from James Kelly confirming wanting me to perform a Holy Union for him and his lover Aaron Smith this weekend. I think it is special that they think enough of me to ask me to perform the ceremony. Life is strange.

 29 September 1993 Wednesday

I finished the 5^th Grade SAT testing today except the few who were out sick. I’ve got a lot of kids with colds. The bus schedule is fairly back to normal. I was paid today but they sent my stub to Freemont Elementary! I have direct deposit so it really didn’t affect me much.

            I went to the Stonewall Center to work a shift. I work the fifth week days of the month and today is the 5^th Wednesday in September. I moved the copy machine into the library from the front entry and had to shift a lot of things around because of the muck up.

            At home I stayed up way too late on the computer on the Magic Carpet BBS site  talking nasty with dudes.  

30 September 1993 Thursday

            It’s the end of September and such a warm pretty day. I went shopping at Mervyns in the Crossroads Mall and bought another pair of slacks, some jeans, a heavy flannel jacket and some underwear. I needed some fall and winter clothes for sure.

I then went to Jon Merrill’s Body Works Salon to get a haircut and a massage from $50. It was the first time I’ve ever had a professional massage and it felt wonderful. I needed it because I hold so much stress in my neck and shoulders. I saw Don Glenn Jenny there who works out of Jon’s place and we visited a bit about the Pillar. He said he heard they wanted to do a story on me. I said “No way would I trust them not to do a hatchet job.”

            While I was gone, Jeff Workman was over and left a note on my door. He wanted to know if I wanted to have lunch with him. He also hauled off his old mattress that I had hauled down to the carport beneath my apartment.

            I was upset that I missed him, but also upset that he had come by. I called him up and we talked briefly. I’m not sure how to be friends with him. I still love him. I think of his sweet smile and me being his “sweet baboo” and I want to cry all over again. The tears and pain are stuffed down so deep, I’m afraid to let them surface.

            Scott Wolfer, this young friend of Matt Uhl, once teased me at the Center saying I wasn’t romantic enough because I project this tough exterior. At the time I thought, “You have no idea what a hopeless romantic I am. Of how many times, my heart has been broken because of it. Of the times, I thought my soul would split in twain from sorrow.”

            At the Stonewall Center I trained Father Garritt as a library volunteer and I also scrubbed the library floor of scuff marks from foot traffic.